The Flat Hat 04-02-13

SEX COLUMNS>> PAGE WE KNOW YOU READ IT FOR THE LOLZ

FOTOS >> PAGE p 9.75

Just read the newspaper

Cut outs are hard, people

Honestly, who do you think I am? Just look for yourself at what’s inside, lazy.

Seriously, these things take forever and always look bad. Does anyone even like them?

The Fat Head

To Infinity and Beyond | Tuesday, April 2, 2013

SENIORZZZZZ

The Once-Yearly Sloth Newspaper

Badjokesallday.com | Don’t make it weird:

of The College of William for Mary

Random white guy

FACTS OF LYFE

Study finds fb named commencement groups need to chillax, for real speaker

BY CREEPY CREEPERTON FAT HEAD FACEBOOK CREEPER

BY KITKAT BAR // THE ONE THAT KNOWS STUFF

This is actually a picture of a guy named Matt. Sorry Matt.

When planned commencement speaker Robert Mueller had to cancel due to unplanned secret things, the College of William and Mary went back to the drawing board, and their usual methods of selecting a commencement speaker — picking a vaguely prominent random white guy out of a hat.

“We have found that this method works really well,” Director of Communications Brian Whitson said via carrier pigeon.

The selection of a random white guy continues a long standing College of William and Mary tradition of having a white guy deliver the commencement address, making him the ninth white guy to speak since the beginning of the twenty-first century.

“I’m so honored to fill this role,” Random white guy said via Pony Express. “To go where so many illustrious random white guys have gone before me — Brent Scowcroft, Joseph Plumeri, even Thomas Downing back in [19]71 — what a group.”

Students expressed admiration for the consistency of the College’s decision.

“At first I didn’t know who he was,” Forrest Greenes ’14 said.

“But once I found out I was so impressed. The College keeps finding white guys to speak. How do they keep doing that without running across any women or people of color?”

Whitson explained the process, which involves him selecting random articles on Wikipedia and writing the names of Virginia or Washington, D.C.-based politicians and public figures on pieces of paper. He then places the names in a specially designated hat and selects a slip.

“I put anyone who comes up in the hat, including women and minorities” Whitson said via smoke signal. “There are just so many white guys in politics and the media that they make up the majority of the names. I guess we’re just lucky.”

Whitson says the College plans to continue using this method until they’ve gone through all of the possible random WHAT’S A CAMERA? / THE FAT HEAD white guys. Then maybe they’ll try other people?

A GROUP OF SLOTHS IS CALLED A BED

A GROUP OF VULTURES IS CALLED A COMMITTEE

Senate realizes school isn’t Dad Won’t just give them money for promising to clean rooms

BY THREE TOED FAT HEAD BED OF SLOTHS REPORTER

In a not completely unexpected turn of events, the Student Assembly this week admitted they thought the school was essentially a stand-in for their parents, explaining their overspending in the fall semester.

“I was relatively certain it was just like at home,” SA senator Cullen Dunley ’14 said. “I thought if we promised to clean up, take out the trash, drive freshmen to the airport and stuff, the school would give us some more spending money.”

Members of the SA admitted that when they were informed earlier in the semester that their plans to pitch in a little more with chores around campus in order to get more money from the school were shot down by administrators, they didn’t know what to do.

“It was just so unexpected,” SA senator BJ Supon ’13 said. “How could they just cut us off with no warning?

They say they care about us but they never show it, you know?”

This sudden discovery lead to some of the more controversial decisions made in the spring semester.

“We figured we didn’t need to give more funding to STI testing because no one at this school has sex,” SA senator Jammy Zhing ’14 said. “That seemed like the best decision at the time, but honestly anything would have. We were all just so surprised that the money wasn’t endless.”

As the current senate prepares to hand over the reigns to the new members, senators still seem confused.

“We’ll tell them what’s what,” Supon said. “Though I think the administration loves them more, they never get in trouble.”

Index Police Beat Unimportant Super unimportant So many faces Big design All the feels Feelz about Jimmye

Today’s Weather 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Reveley buys Ho House for himself In third-quarter life crisis, Reveley decides he wants a bigger house for parties

BY SHOOK HIS HAND ONCE WON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

When the College of William and Mary announced earlier this month that the it had decided to purchase the Williamsburg Hospitality House, students, alumni and community members responded with mixed reactions. However, the announcement yesterday that the College has purchased the hotel for the express purpose of turning it into President Taylor Reveley’s personal party mansion has already been hailed as one of the most universally popular decisions made by the College.

“I have literally never heard of a better idea,” Morgan Manson ’13 said.

Many students felt that Reveley’s personal characteristics made him deserving of such a large purchase for his personal use.

“That dude is such a baller,” Frederick Banks ’15 said. “He’s my hero and he deserves everything good in the world.”

According to Reveley, the decision to make the $21 million purchase came after hours of mildly serious consideration.

“I just really wanted somewhere to chill,” Reveley said. “There’s nowhere good around here to just hang out. I did some google searches for estates and stuff, but everything else was so far away. There’s no way I want to hang out in Charles City County or New Kent or something and drive to Williamsburg every day.”

Yesterday’s announcement came as a surprise to many who expected the Hospitality House to become student housing and parking for the upcoming year. While the College’s intention has always been to set the building aside for Reveley’s

personal use, administrators had decided to tell students they were focused on the needs of the students instead.

“We thought if we told everyone it was student housing, they’d be happy,” Director of Public Relations Brian Whitson said in an email. “After we got so much flack doing away with many jobs, depriving the city of tax revenue, and, most significantly, making parents find somewhere a little further away to stay, we though we’d tell the truth. Because everyone thinks President Reveley deserves nice things.”

The few students who questioned the decision to spend such a significant amount of money on a personal party mansion for Reveley faced swift and harsh criticism.

“Someone actually threatened to punch me for suggesting it wasn’t a great idea,” one anonymous student said. “They said I was a traitor to the College and obviously had never even heard President Reveley speak. I have. I mean, he seems like a cool guy, I just don’t know if we should be spending $21 million so he has somewhere to hang out.”

For the bulk of students, other questions weighed heavier on their minds.

“Is he going to have students hang out?” Banks said. “I just really want to chill with Reveley.

Watching Downton Abbey, reading Proust, getting wasted, whatever, I just want to be around him so I can absorb some of his awesome.”

Reveley declined to comment on just who would be invited.

REVEY SQUAD / DA FUCK IS THIS?

President Reveley requests students refer to the Hospitality House as the Party Palace from henceforth.

Inside OPINIONS

Inside SPORTz

Someone’s opinions on something that don’t matter

As always, TERRIFYING

While many students seem to take joy in constantly berating others via asinine social media groups, a study released Friday found that facebook groups need to check themselves before they wreck themselves.

The Botetourt Center for Kids Who Don’t Read Good conducted a four month study of the, quite frankly, absurd number of groups created by students at the College of William and Mary over the past year. Painstakingly reading every post and its associated comments, the authors of the study found that the amount of concern given for the ridiculous things being said in the groups is 3,198.54 percent too high for the health of the community.

“I’m really not sure how things got this far out of hand,” Director of the Botetourt Center for Kids Who Don’t Read Good Stephen Gobs ’11 said in a press release. “It just seems to have happened really quickly and I’m not sure anyone has any idea how to stop it.”

Over the course of the four-month study, the amount of time and energy put into facebook groups by students at the College jumped dramatically. Some students felt as if everything had changed overnight.

“I feel like everything has changed overnight,” Markea Zukberg ’15 said. “One day it was just Overheard [at William and Mary], which is fun, and then suddenly there are all these other, creepy groups.”

The creepy groups, most notably William and Mary Confessions, have seen numerous posts that have called into question many individuals’ fundamental understandings of the College.

“How do people have time to do this?” Bill Getts ’13 said. “Don’t people have class and extracurriculars and stuff? I thought I knew this school but I really don’t, apparently.”

Those who run the groups do not see the reason for the hostility and confusion surrounding them.

“You mad, bro?” An anonymous moderator for William and Mary Confessions said in a facebook message. “You seem mad. Why you so mad?”

Honestly, even if this was extremely well-researched, argued, and written, it still wouldn’t matter. This is a student newspaper at a really small school.

Leave it be. page V

College probably loses

I was sort of busy so I forgot to read the story, but I’m willing to bet the College lost. We’re normally bad at everything, but this year has been shockingly bad. page the last

THE BUZZ

I would like to paint the rooms of the Hospitality House all of the colors of the rainbow. Like the students on this campus.

— President Taylor Reveley, on the upcoming renovations to his new party mansion

May 10 — May 12

The Fat Head | Thorsday, November 20, 1992 | Page :(

“

juicymorsels “

Serious Folx Blondie and Abby thingsthathappened?@gmail.com

May 10 — A bike was reported shoplifting $20 1 Friday, worth of mac and cheese sides from Wawa.

May 10 — Two squirrels were spotted 2 Friday, kanoodling on the Sunken Garden May 11— A large transparent figure was 3 Saturday, seen running down DoG Street in the middle of the afternoon.

May 12 — A large crowd of students wearing 4 Sunday, black robes was reported blubbering on the steps of the Wren Building.

May 12 — Nothing really happened. Like 5 Sunday, always.

A COUPLE OF WORDS

The Fat Head Katherine Chiglinsky News Editor Vanessa Remmers News Editor Hailey Arnold Variety Editor Katie Demeria Variety Editor Jared Foretek Sports Editor

Elizabeth DeBusk Opinions Editor Stephanie Hubbard Copy Chief Katherine Hoptay Copy Chief Michelle Gabro Photo Editor Walter Hickey Online Editor

‘YOUR AD HERE’ | ESTABLISHED APRIL 1, 1492

221B Baker Street, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Mordor, 481516 Batphone (757) 221-3283

Big One fathead.bigone@gmail.com Serious Business SAnstuff@gmail.com Sportz Jimmyesboyz@gmail.com

Thoughtz dontemailus@gmail.com Farmer’s Market twiftjbiebs1domg@gmail.com Fotoz flathatfotoz@gmail.com

Chiga-Chig-ah Lead Blonde SHHHH Talks too Much Second Blonde Like Whatever TSwift 5 eva Serious Editor Now Blondie Office Flirt Best Freshman Feelings Editor Photog We Shoot Stuff Elbow Pads Sports ‘n’ Stuff Benny Boy New Walter?

Spinoza’s Boi Chief Hipster INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT/ SOME RANDOM STUDENT

thoughtz NOT OUR THOUGHTZ

Please stop being mean to me.

To the Editor: I am writing because I really don’t like that you wrote a criticism of something I did. That was a really nasty thing to do. In response, I am going to write this 3,000 word Letter to the Editor and ignore the policy of limiting editorials to 250 words. That is the ultimate punishment for printing a negative opinion. Now you’ll have to be at The Flat Hat office until 2 a.m. trying to figure out how to make this fit on your page.

You shouldn’t write that I didn’t do something because look at this huge list of other things I’ve done! You didn’t mention them because your editorial was on another topic. What good does that do for me?

Before I go, I want to throw in a free advertisement for my organization. Please join our meetings at the Room of Requirement in Morton Hall from 2 p.m. to 11 p.m. on Tuesdays.

Editor’s note: For the unabridged version of student’s article please visit www.virginia-informer.com

STREET BEAT

How would you describe the Student Assembly’s job this year?

“I love my koozie, but I think I might have an STI.” Benny ’16

“Is that a band? I think I saw them play at the Meridian. A little too much trumpet for my taste.”

Fran Behold ’16

“I think they’ve done a really great job!”

Noone McNothing ’??

“How dare you ask questions about the SA?! Get that camera out of my face! ” Madame Senator ’15

“I bet if David Alpert had won my club would have gotten funding.”

Tyler Manish ’14

“I loved Gavin DeGraw!?”

Abigail Botle ’02 ­— PHOTOS AND INTERVIEWS BY BEAVIS

DAT BEAT

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S UNFIT TO PRINT

Funny story: The actual Pulse tagline was a joke that we typed onto the page as filler and forgot to change, like two years ago.

This is the quality journalism that y’all are getting. Be proud.

Student Assembly President Curt Mills ’13 mysteriously disappeared last week. He was last seen in the Range Rover of his Chief of Staff, ghostriding the whip. Since then, said Chief of Staff has appeared at all SA Executive meetings in the role of President.

He has also acquired a large number of blue shirts and khaki pants since Mills’ disappearance. Please give any information on his possible whereabouts to the Fat Head immediately. We want to be the heroes here.

Reports surfaced this week of a human-sized squirrel brandishing a hole punch in a menacing manner at students across campus. So far, three students have reported to police being attacked by the monster squirrel while at least two dozen others have made similar claims on facebook. The investigation is ongoing and William and Mary Police warn students to be on the lookout.

The Virginia Gazette reported that during a James City Board of Supervisors meeting on Tuesday, more than 50 gun rights advocates appeared and spoke, urging for the reinstatement of Sheriff Bob Deeds’ Second Amendment statement that he and his deputies would not “aid or abet” any citizen’s right to bear arms.

The supervisors agreed to meet with Deeds for clarification.

The sexual abuse awareness organization on campus formerly known as One in Four and more recently known as Someone You Know decided to rename themselves, once again. The group is now called Somebody That I Used to Know. Now and then the group thinks of it’s former names, like when you said you felt so happy you could die, told themselves their first name was right for them, but felt so lonely in your company. Why did you have to cut them off?

Candy counter employees, Marketplace workers and residents of Hunt Hall have recently reported that they haven’t seen Mark Constantine’s mustache in a while, and they are getting worried.

Many students found his moustache to be a source of comfort for them during their most stressful weeks of homework and exams and papers and other time consuming extracurriculars.

“I always count on seeing Mark’s moustache when I walk into the Campus Center to get my breakfast sandwich from the grill station on Monday mornings,” Ryan Atwood ’14 said. “Now I don’t know what to look at to wipe away that Monday blues and put a smile on my face again.” Atwood suggested that all Marketplace workers and Candy Counter employees be required to wear or grow a moustache as a possible solution to this growing cause of concern.

The Doctor Amy Pond stopwritingannoyingletterstotheeditor@gmail.com

The Fat Head | Friday, October 7, 1991 | Page ;)

ALLOW US TO VENT

Unfounded opinions At the College of William and Mary, we pride ourselves on having a strong student voice. That’s why we found this article about an obscure topic that has literally nothing to do with campus and decided to make up an opinion on it. The beauty of the opinion is that it doesn’t even have to be an argument. The more one sided the stance we take is, the less we have to know about the subject!

At the College — that pointless prepositional phrase takes up three whole words — we value synergy, motivation, ingenuity, tradition, awareness, sensitivity, leadership, understanding, perspective, incentive (We would like to take a second to thank the Office of Student Leadership for cuing us into the usefulness of buzzwords.

They take up space and mean absolutely nothing. You can just write them in lists when you have nothing else to say!). When want to applaud (insert organization/program/person’s name here) for his/ her/it/their (insert a synonym for previous buzz word here) for doing something.

Campus dining? Admissions? Economics? Complicated international policies? We are experts on the subject no matter whatever it is. We even read skimmed had some one else on staff summarize a whole article on this vague and incomprehensible (Redundant adjectives are almost as fun as buzzwords!) issue. That’s why everything we say is in the Royal We. Given our advanced knowledge of the subject, we can make gross generalizations about how other organizations should work to improve themselves (to be honest, we don’t think we had to know too much to say that the Student Assembly should not have bought koozies. We’re probably trying to take up space here so we’ll make another list: self-evaluation, critical reflection, hard work, dedication.

So how do we make all of our poorly informed editorials make even a modicum of sense? The answer is easy: Ask for more money!

Everyone wants more money. Especially the SA. No one recused themsevles because that seemed like a lot of work for the other members who would’ve had to contribute more actual ideas to this thing.

Did you know: The Allow Us To Vent section of the Fat Head appears in a larger font because our opinions are really important. I mean, everything we write is important, but this is much more important because we can actually say what we feel without having to be “objective.”

The Fat Head does not accept submissions from anyone at all. Because we really don’t care what you think about what we say. Seriously, please stop.

VARIETY >> PAGE 8

SPORTS >> PAGE 10

Tribe drops streak, but takes two

College’s eight-game win streak comes to an end, but Tribe wins weekend series.

Vol. 102, Iss. 45 | Tuesday, April 2, 2013

College hosts TedX event Students, professors present ideas, projects in Saturday’s conference.

The Flat Hat The Twice-Weekly Student Newspaper

of The College of William and Mary

CONSTRUCTION

College explores Zable additions

Flathatnews.com | Follow us:

CAMPUS

Student creates Bannerstalker.com Charges $5 per course online

BY ELEANOR LAMB FLAT HAT ASSOC. NEWS EDITOR

wide systems, including the PA system, emergency power generation system and lightning protection system.

Last year, Peter Johnson’s ’15 friend came to him with a request. He needed a spot in a chemistry lab. It did not matter which section he was in, just as long as he secured the lab. He gave Johnson the course registration number, and Johnson created a program that would notify him when a spot opened up. That program has since evolved into a website to alert a multitude of students to open courses on Banner at the College of William and Mary.

Johnson’s website, https://bannerstalker.com, tracks available classes and notifies students when a seat opens in a desired course. Although Johnson’s site only recently came to the attention of the student body via an Overheard post on Facebook and fliers posted on campus, Johnson has been dabbling with similar creations for years. He designed a similar notification system his sophomore year of high school when he wanted to buy a computer part online that was no longer available.

“I wrote up a quick program that would check it every few minutes and email me when it became available,” Johnson said. “I saw the same thing could be applied to Banner.”

Johnson does not have a team assembled to help him keep track of every course’s availability status. Johnson wrote and maintained the program on his own, which automatically tracks classes by refreshing the existing course list every five minutes.

If one class changes, the program notifies everyone who is interested in that class through a text and email.

“The program runs on its own. I don’t have to monitor it at all,” Johnson said. “If it has any errors [or] if something goes wrong, it just emails me the error so that I can respond to it and then it keeps on going. I haven’t had any problems with it so far.”

Johnson believes bannerstalker.com will save students hours of worrying and prowling Banner for open slots. It took Johnson about one month to create, with the first week creating the backend, or

See ZABLE page 10

See BANNERSTALKER page 5

BENOIT MATHIEU / THE FLAT HAT

Zable Stadium could receive an additional 3,300 seats, as part of the proposal. The average attendance for football games during the 2012 season was 9,884.

BY JARED FORETEK FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER

The College of William and Mary is currently in the exploratory stage of a project that would renovate and expand Zable Stadium, according to the Pre-Proposal Conference for ArchitectEngineer Services.

A presentation titled “Renovation of an Addition to Zable Stadium” details the plan to construct a press box/luxury-suite level above the West stands.

The presentation also suggests adding 3,300 seats above the press box/luxury-suite level. The proposal includes plans to refurbish the current East stands press box and renovate or refurbish the entire West stands area.

No price tag on the project is mentioned, but Senior Assistant Athletic Director of Public Relations Pete Clawson said it would not be as high as the $35 million mentioned in a recent Virginia Gazette article.

“It’s no understatement to say it’s very early in this

COURTESY PHOTO / THE PRE-PROPOSAL CONFERENCE FOR ARCHITECT-ENGINEER SERVICES

The proposal includes refurbishment of the East stands press box and renovation of the West stands area.

process,” Clawson said. “But it’s a strong statement that we’re moving in a positive direction on this.”

Aside from the more major additions, the project calls for the construction of an elevator and more handrails, as well as upgrading a number of stadium-

LOCAL NEWS

RESIDENCE LIFE

James City County fighting action

BY VERONIQUE BARBOUR FLAT HAT ASSOC. NEWS EDITOR

BY ZACH HARDY FLAT HAT CHIEF STAFF WRITER

In Williamsburg, word about ideas and initiatives travels fast, especially in the case of the College of William and Mary. However, the recent purchase of the Hospitality House was kept secret until President Taylor Reveley announced the purchase in an email to the community Friday, March 22. Many Williamsburg residents, including Mayor Clyde Haulman, were also unaware of the purchase until this time. Nonetheless, Haulman says he is happy for the College. “[The purchase] deals with the question of on-campus housing that has been an issue at both the College and for the city for some years,” Haulman said. “This has been a step in resolving a great deal in that issue. Also, having a number of students living right there will be a big plus for the businesses. I think a lot of businesses will benefit from having a lot of students live there.”

While Haulman sees the purchase as a positive addition to the College, he foresees some shortterm issues for the city.

“In the short run for the city, this

Dominion works to Hospitality House deal creates mixed reactions add local power line Some Williamsburg residents worry about loss of meal and room tax revenue

The James City County Board of Supervisors approved $200,000 last week to help fight Dominion Virginia Power’s effort to install a power line over the James River from Surrey to Skiffes Creek. The State Corporation Commission will host a hearing for the project beginning April 9 in Richmond, Va. The State Corporation Commission is a Virginia regulatory agency designed to regulate and oversee utility and insurance companies, railroads and other types of businesses and institutions. Dominion filed an initial application for the power line in June 2012.

James City County administrator Robert Middaugh explained that the money appropriated by James City County will be used to hire lawyers familiar with SCC proceedings and regulated monopolies.

“The biggest part of our cost is for legal expenses,” Middaugh said. “Our county attorney office is great with dealing with zoning and police and things the county deals with but we needed an expert, because the SCC is unfamiliar territory.”

The money has also been used to hire an electrical engineering firm to help the county propose alternate ways of servicing the area’s electricity need.

“Our engineer will help to show the SCC there are feasible alternates that don’t require very unsightly towers across the river,” Middaugh said.

Dominion Power, who declined to comment on the See DOMINION page 5

Today’s Weather

Index News Insight News Opinions Variety Variety Sports Sports

4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Inside OPINIONS

certainly is on our tax base because it takes a personal property tax away and the potential loss of room and meal tax,” Haulman said. “A big part of that plays in where people are going to stay in the future.”

However, the city and the College a working together to encourage people to stay nearby. With the large number of hotels in Williamsburg, Haulman believes the long-term loss of the Hospitality House should not limit Williamsburg visitors.

“The [Williamsburg] Inn, Lodge and the Governor’s Inn are all very convenient places for people to stay when they come to the College,” Haulman said.

Williamsburg Communications Specialist Kate Hoving mentioned that the city is expecting to lose significant revenue from the Hospitality House in the upcoming budget.

“The immediate impact to the city with the College buying the Hospitality House is a loss in property taxes of approximately $110,000 per year,” Hoving said in an email. “However, the property tax does not include the meal tax or the room tax, as well as other taxes.”

Chris Connolly ’15, a member

The need for gray areas

It would be easy to view a controversial new Virginia law in black and white terms — but you shouldn’t. page 6 Sunny High 57, Low 31

BENOIT MATHIEU / THE FLAT HAT

The Hospitality House will feature double and single rooms for students.

of the city’s Planning Commission, was both excited for the purchase and interested to see how it will affect the city in the coming year.

“I have mixed opinions because I have dual roles,” Connolly said.

“As a student and a member of the College, I think it is a good thing because the College is expanding.

We are going to need more space.

Also, financially I think it makes sense because they were able to get it for $21 million, which is a good price for all the amenities they were able to get and the property. From

Inside VARIETY

a city perspective, that piece of property generated a lot of revenue for the city. [In taxes] the real loss is close to half a million dollars when you factor everything in.”

Aside from revenue lost by the purchase, Connolly is concerned with the loss of the hotel to the community.

“What I am most worried about is that hotel represented one which was very close to the College, within walking distance — specifically to See HOSPITALITY HOUSE page 5

Bollywood meets hip-hop

The College’s South Asian Student Association hosted a dance competition Saturday Night, showcasing different styles and awarding $3,000 of prize money. page 7

newsinsight “ TWEETS FROM TEDx AT THE COLLEGE ON MARCH 30

The Flat Hat | Tuesday,

“

@THEFLATHAT

News Editor Annie Curran fhnews@gmail.com

April 2, 2013 | Page 4

THE BUZZ

“[The purchase] deals with the question of on-campus housing that has been an issue at both the College and for the city for some years,” — Williamsburg Mayor Clyde Haulman on the purchase of the Hospitality House

AROUND THE ‘BURG

KARIN KRAUSE / THE FLAT HAT

CONTINUED

FH

For more coverage of TEDx at the College of William and Mary, check out the full story in Variety, page 8.

A THOUSAND WORDS

COURTESY PHOTO / MEDIA.SALON.COM

Gov. Bob McDonnell’s daughter’s wedding gift from Jonnie R. Williams Sr., a major McDonnell campaign contributor, sparked a federal securities investigation.

Warner announces 2014 re-election campaign

McAuliffe submits signatures for gubernatorial race

U.S. Sen. Mark Warner is vying toward re-election in 2014.

The Virginia democrat will campaign for his seat once his term expires next year. The Richmond Times-Dispatch reported Warner considered a run for governor, but he ultimately decided against it after concerns about working successfully with a heavily republican House of Delegates.

Democrat Terry McAuliffe submitted more than 35,000 signatures in his bid for the Virginia gubernatorial race last Wednesday. The Washington Post reported he delivered 35,746 petition signatures to the State Board of Elections, which is a requirement to appear on the primary ballot under commonwealth law. Republican candidate Anthony Cuccinelli did not have to obtain signatures because the Republican Party of Virginia voted to choose its nominee through their convention and not in a primary contest.

Governor’s former chef charged with embezzlement A few days ago, the former chef at the Virginia’s governor’s mansion was charged with felony embezzlement, as The Washington Post reported March 28. Todd Schneider left his job a year ago amid a state police investigation. He was charged with four counts of embezzling up to $200 in an indictment up March 20.

Police report man at large for traffic violation A 6-foot, 300-pound black male is at large after he eluded Williamsburg police and escaped into the woods. Williamsburg -Yorktown Daily reports police believe 33-year-old Smithfield resident Raymond Lee Young was the driver who failed to stop at an intersection.

COOPER NELSON / THE FLAT HAT

McDonnell’s daughter’s wedding gift under investigation The Washington Post featured Gov. Bob McDonnell, R-Va., and his wife’s close relationship with Jonnie R. Williams Sr., the chief executive of Star Scientific, who is credited with making major contributions to McDonnell’s campaigns and is now the subject of a federal securities investigation.

Williams’ most recent contribution was $15,000 worth of fine dining for the governor’s daughter wedding in 2011.

Spokesman Jeff Caldwell told The Washington Post that the gift was not personally made to McDonnell, so Virginia law did not require McDonnell to include the gift in his annual disclosure form.

CAMPUS POLICE BEAT

Mar. 18 — Mar. 24

CORRECTIONS The Flat Hat wishes to correct any facts printed incorrectly. Corrections may be submitted by e-mail to the editor of the section in which the incorrect information was printed. Requests for corrections will be accepted at any time.

The Flat Hat

1

Friday, Mar. 18 — A bicycle was reported stolen at 700 Ukrop Way.

2

Friday, Mar. 19 — A bicycle was reported stolen at Barrett Hall.

3

Saturday, Mar. 23 — A burglary was reported was reported at Yates Hall. The estimated value of the items taken was $100.

Mar. 24 — The Zable Stadium sign was 4 Sunday, damaged, resulting in an estimated $500 of

‘STABILITAS ET FIDES’ | ESTABLISHED OCT. 3, 1911

damage.

‘STABILITAS ET FIDES’ | ESTABLISHED OCT. 3, 1911 Va. 23185 25 Campus Center, The College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, Newsroom (757) 221-3283 — Advertising Dept. (757) 221-3283 / ads@flathatnews.com

25 Campus Center, The College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, Va. 23185 Newsroom (757) 221-3283 — Advertising Dept. (757) 221-3283 / flathatads@gmail.com Editor editor@flathatnews.com Opinions opinions@flathatnews.com News news@flathatnews.com Variety variety@flathatnews.com Editor Opinions fhopinions@gmail.com Sportsflathat.editor@gmail.com sports@flathatnews.com Photos photos@flathatnews.com News fhnews@gmail.com Variety flathat.variety@gmail.com Sports flathatsports@gmail.com Photos flathatphotos@gmail.com

Mike Barnes Editor-in-Chief Becky Koenig Managing Editor — Jill Found Executive Editor Katherine Chiglinsky Editor-in-Chief Ellie Kaufman Chief Staff WriterManaging Editor Ellen Wexler Executive Editor Meredith Ramey Katherine Chiglinsky News Editor Elizabeth DeBusk Opinions Editor Annie CurranNews NewsEditor Editor Rebecca Marshall Copy Chief Stephanie Hubbard Copy Chief Vanessa Remmers Abby Boyle Variety Editor April Smith Copy Chief Katherine Hoptay Copy Chief Hailey Arnold Variety Editor Aine Cain Variety Editor Benoit Mathieu Photo Editor Michelle Gabro Photo Editor Katie Demeria Variety Editor JackForetek Powers Sports Sports Editor Editor HayleyHickey Tymeson Photo Editor Walter Online Editor Jared Chris Weber Sports Editor Benming Zhang Online Editor Zach Matt Editorial Betsy Camarda Goldemen Copy EditorWriter ArielFrank Cohen Opinions Assoc. NewsEditor Editor Zach Hardy Chief Staff WriterCopy Editor Claire Hoffman Chase Hopkins Assoc. News Editor Colleen Leonard Copy Editor Ken Lin Assoc. News Editor Liz McGlynn Copy Editor Veronique Barbour Assoc. News Editor Lauren Becker Copy Editor Maggie Kern Assoc. News Editor Betsy Goldemen Copy Editor Matt Esporrin Assoc. News Editor Megan Elmore Copy Editor Meredith Ramey Assoc. News Editor Richie Thaxton Copy Editor Claire Gillespie Assoc. News Editor Meredith Luze Copy Editor Rob Marty Assoc. News Editor Emily Lowman Copy Editor Bailey Kirkpatrick Assoc. News Editor Rachel Steinberg Copy Editor Chris McKenna Senior News Writer Allison Ramage Copy Editor Eleanor Lamb Assoc. News Editor Allison Hicks Cartoonist Chris Weber Assoc. Sports Editor Jenna Tan Copy Editor Matt Camarda Assoc. Opinions Editor Molly Adair Cartoonist Abby Boyle Assoc. Variety Editor Rachel Smith Copy Editor Max Cea Assoc. Opinions Editor Rachel Brooks Cartoonist Bailey Kirkpatrick Assoc. Variety Editor Natalie Sheffield Copy Editor Ashley Hamilton Assoc. Online Editor Rachel Pulley Cartoonist Sarah Caspari Assoc. Variety Editor Lindsay Wade Cartoonist Rachel Brown Assoc. Variety Editor Alex Cooper Editorial Writer Sophie Mason Assoc. Variety Editor Lizzie Dabbs Cartoonist Sarah Caspari Assoc. Variety Editor Nara Yoon Business Manager Ellen Wexler Assoc. Opinions Editor Lizzie Alarcon Cartoonist Natalie Ferenbach Assoc. Variety Editor Karin Krause Social Media Manager Elliott Hay Assoc. Opinions Editor Genevieve Franco Cartoonist Emily Nye Assoc. Variety Editor Anita Jiang Assoc. Photo Editor Alex Bramsen Copy Editor Karin Krause Social Media Manager Emily Stone Assoc. Variety Editor Patricia Radich Graphic Designer Garrett Hendrickson Copy Editor Jared Foretek Production Assistant Rachel Steinberg Copy Editor Kaitlin Kunowsky Business Manager

NEWS IN BRIEF Shakespeare festival officially designated The Virginia Shakespeare Festival, a 35year tradition, is held every summer in the College of William and Mary’s Phi Beta Kappa Hall. It is a division of the College’s department of theater, speech and dance.

While the College does not fund the event, faculty members are involved in the project and will now be receiving an official event designation for the VSF. Gov. Bob McDonnell, R-Va., signed a senate bill to amend the listing for official emblems and designations in the Code of Virginia. As of March 22, it now includes the VSF as the Shakespeare Festival of the commonwealth.

VIMS alumna named senior conservation scientist at the Nature Conservancy Kristin France Ph.D. ’07, a graduate of the College’s Virginia Institute of Marine Science, is now the senior conservation scientist for the Nature Conservancy in New York. She helps researchers find the ecosystems most in need of help due to climactic or geological strains and also helps to develop strategies to save the areas. France co-chairs a climate change team for the state of New York, which serves to coordinate data and help the communication amongst scientists. Her professor and advisor at VIMS, Emmett Duffy, spoke highly of her and her passion for this area of study to William and Mary News.

Students combat hate in summit During a leadership summit in the Sadler Center, College of William and Mary faculty members and leaders in the hate-prevention field gave speeches and led discussions with students about propaganda, hate speech and civic engagement. This was the first summit of its kind to be held on a college campus. It was planned in cooperation with the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.

Chelsea Bracci ’13 interned with the USHMM and helped to coordinate other summits. After being approached by some College students about her experience, she became the liaison to coordinate the event.

The Flat Hat

Page 5

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Student life

Charity golf tournament at maximum capacity

Annual Mason philanthropy raises $11,000 for Wounded Warrior Program to date

BY Veronique Barbour flat hat assoc. news editor

The Mason School of Business at the College of William and Mary will be hosting its annual charity golf tournament Saturday, April 6. The tournament raises money to support the Wounded Warrior Project. This year’s tournament is hosted at the Golden Horseshoe golf course and is at maximum capacity with 36 teams, or 144 players.

An estimated $11,000 has been raised this year in support of the WWP, compared to last year when the tournament raised $7,000 for the organization. Christopher Winter MBA ’13 is in charge of the event.

“I think the reason the tournament has done so well is that it is very easy to rally behind [the Wounded Warrior Project],” Winter said. “One, because it is a good cause, and two, because it has a catchy name.”

The tournament was advertised by word of mouth and through a website.

The website allowed people to share the event and sign up their teams online.

Participants could also pay online through the website.

“Instead of passing around a flyer to people, we passed around a web link, and it made things a lot easier,” Winter said. “With the website, it makes the whole event look more legit[imate].”

The golf tournament is not an event hosted by the Wounded Warrior Project, but the proceeds do go to the cause.

However, many veterans and active-duty military participate in the event.

“I would say nearly 25 percent of those participating have served at one point or another,” Winter said.

Ben Wroblewski MBA ’14, an activeduty officer in the U.S. Coast Guard, decided to participate in the golf tournament this year.

“The first year of the tournament was last year, and it was introduced by the Army fellows and the Major General James Writ,” Wroblewski said. “There are about 20 Army fellows that go to the

Politics

Del. Watson seeks re-election Looks to create job opportunities for Virginia BY donald thibeau the flat hat

Republican Mike Watson is seeking re-election in the 93rd district of the Virginia House of Delegates.

Delegate Watson was elected to the House of Delegates in 2011.

During his first term, he founded the Business Development Caucus with the intention of promoting legislation.

“It’s all about getting jobs and opportunity here in the state,” Watson said. “I’ve done that through business legislation as well as workforce development and even support of the transportation bill.”

Watson’s primary goal, if elected, will be to continue bringing jobs to his district by

promoting private enterprise while also assisting the College of William and Mary any way he can.

“I work very closely [with College President Taylor Reveley] and the higher education facilities across the state on specific needs,” Watson said. “Obviously William and Mary, being in my district, gets most of my attention, and when there is a particular issue or concern, President Reveley is quick to give me a call.”

As incumbent, Watson helped pass two funding bills to assist the College in the construction of new housing.

“He sticks to his principles, but [he] is willing to work with anyone and everyone,” Tyler Johnson ’13 said. “He reaches out to both Democrats and Republicans.”

Johnson interned for Watson

last spring as part of the William and Mary Richmond Internship program.

“He is very hard working,” Johnson said. “I would only see him for a couple of minutes every day because he was running from meeting with other delegates to try to pass his legislation to committee hearings to being on the floor. He was always doing something.”

“He is a leader. He’s definitely taken initiative as a delegate,” Chair of the College Republicans Chandler Crenshaw ’14 said.

“His first year as delegate, he was given the title ‘Freshman of The Year.”

Watson does not have a primary challenger for the Republican nomination and will face Democrat Monty Mason in the general election Nov. 5, 2013.

Mason Business School for a year-and-ahalf, and they started it.”

Wroblewski was interested in the tournament after hearing the proceeds would go to the Wounded Warrior Project.

“The Wounded Warrior Project is a phenomenal initiative to support whenever you can, as little as you can or as much as you can,” Wroblewski said. “It [also] supports my classmates and their initiatives.”

Wroblewski sees the Wounded Warrior Project as a program that really supports those who have been in the military.

“They are trying to give hope back

to these kids that when, for whatever reason, when their disability occurred, they thought they had no hope and they were going to be limited in what they do,” Wroblewski said. “Wounded Warrior gives them that hope that they aren’t limited and that they can move forward with the rest of their life.”

While in the Coast Guard, Wroblewski has not seen many of his fellow members of the Coast Guard injured or benefitting from the Wounded Warrior Project, but he supports it for his Army, Marine Corps, Air Force and Naval brethren.

“I hope that the weather cooperates and that we can sustain this for years to come,” Wroblewski said.

Website to help students get classes 300 students signed up so far, 20 paying for services BANNERSTALKER from page 3

the requesting and texting aspect of the program, and the other three weeks designing the website. As of Sunday, 300 people have signed up for the website and 20 have paid to have CRNs stalked for them. The charge is $5 per CRN and an additional $1 for corresponding labs. This money goes toward developing and hosting the website.

This program is very similar to the one Johnson created last year to help his friend.

“I realized there might be other people in that same situation,” Johnson said. “This semester, I completely rewrote it from scratch and created a website so anybody could use it.”

Surprisingly, Johnson’s website has not generated a lot of feedback. Of the 300 people

COURTESY PHOTO/ BANNERSTALKER.COM

The website charges $5 to monitor one CRN, and $1 for additional lab CRNS.

signed on to the site, he has only received five emails, most of which have been addressing small technological hiccups, such as duplicate charges.

“I think when people go on the Internet, everything’s just kind of a faceless website,” Johnson said. “They don’t realize there’s a person behind it sometimes. I’m trying to think of ways to make it more personal, so people know that they can actually email me; [that] I’m just another student.”

While Johnson may not have received direct feedback praising his website, some students believe the site is a good idea.

Joy Tanitnon ’13 said she has had horrible registration periods and

believes the website will benefit students, especially freshmen and sophomores.

Tanitnon believes the $5 charge is a little expensive, however, even for a desirable class.

“I would not spend more than $3,” Tanitnon said. “I’d rather do it myself.”

Syed Mohammad Asefwafa ’16 also said the website could be a big help to students. Unlike Tanitnon, Asefwafa would be willing to pay the $5 for the service.

“I just think it’s less hassle,” Asefwafa said. “Getting the course you want is worth more than $5.”

Community worries about tax loss Loss of hotel in close proximity to College could hurt city HOSPITALITY HOUSE from page 3

the football field where you are going to get a lot of your visitors on the weekends, especially during Homecoming,” Connolly said. “With that hotel gone, there is not a large-scale convenient option like there was before, so what is to stop a family, who has to drive into the city already, from staying somewhere a little further away at a less expensive price in another jurisdiction?”

To compensate for the loss of revenue, Haulman said the city might have to develop a new system with the College.

“We have already been talking to the College

about a ‘payment in lieu of tax’ where they make payments to the local community because they receive services anywhere from fire to EMS and other aspects that cities do to help the institution,” Haulman said. “So that is an ongoing discussion as well.”

With the purchase of the hotel, the College and the city have to discuss many options to make the purchase beneficial for the College and the community.

“There are direct losses in tax revenue associated with the property, but there are indirect losses that we don’t know yet that I am very concerned about,” Connolly said.

BENOIT MATHIEU / THE FLAT HAT

AccelerAte Your cAreer

Planning Commission member Chris Connolly ’15 expressed concern about possible effects of College purchase.

Earn the Master of Science in Financial Engineering and Financial Risk Management (FRM®) designation.

James City County works against power line

Learn more at our virtual information sessions.

Register online.

Discover the Power of fox ® www.fox.temple.edu/college Text FOXMS to 69302 for info

Dominion states alternatives are not viable option for energy project DOMINION from page 3

proceedings, determined the proposed route is the most cost effective and long-term solution for servicing the area’s needs.

“A 500kV is not considered to be a viable underground alternative,” the Dominion website said. “Dominion has [also] evaluated multiple 230 kV alternatives, to include a single 230 kV circuit in both an overhead and underground configuration,

as well as multiple 230 kV circuits in overhead and underground configurations.”

A photographer was also hired by the county in order to create accurate simulations of what a series of 300 foot towers spread across the river might look like.

The Save the James Alliance, a citizens group started in Kingsmill, have contributed around $80,000 to help defray the County’s expenses.

The College of William and Mary’s Student Environmental Action Coalition protested against the Surry Coal plant in the past, but haven’t taken an active role in protesting the power line.

“We are following the issue, but haven’t taken a stance on it or done any sort of action with regards to it,” SEAC Facilitator Sharon Hartzell ’14 said. “We’ve been focusing on recycling and divestment efforts.”

opinions

Opinions Editor Zachary Frank Assoc. Opinions Editor Max Cea fhopinions@gmail.com

The Flat Hat | Tuesday, April 2, 2013 | Page 6

editorial cartoon

Staff Editorial

$5 anxiety relief?

B

Don’t look at new law in black and white organization doesn’t have to extend a bid.

Look at the schools themselves. Every year, colleges and universities receive thousands of applications. Sure, the College of William and Mary won’t write you back saying “Sorry, we met our quota for your characteristics already,” but nobody is guaranteed an acceptance letter. flat hat sports editor Clubs and groups discriminate on some level, intentionally or not, all the time. Now religious and political groups can, too.

The issue reflects a nationwide trend. From Virginia’s Gov. Bob McDonnell, R-Va., recently signed the Student Group institutions of higher education, to Congress, to the country as a Protection Act into law. The legislation disallows Virginia colleges from withholding funds or otherwise discriminating against religious whole, the law McDonnell signed parallels a movement to solidify every defining line possible in society. and political groups who base membership on religion, sexual We’re afraid of gray areas; we prefer black and white. Our orientation or personal beliefs. sense of identity shrinks in the face of an ever-expanding world of The law creates a clear division. On one side, the legislation — alternative philosophies, cultures and lifestyles. Nowhere is this taken to an extreme — allows groups that blatantly discriminate more prevalent than a college campus. against sex, religion or race to receive school funding. Technically, a With shifting ideas of what “traditional” and “liberal” mean, politically oriented white supremacist group could ask the school for we feel an urgent need to identify ourselves through association. funding just like any other student group or club.

In a few weeks, admitted students will flood the Sunken Garden On the other side, groups like The Foundation for Individual during Admitted Students Day and look up at College kids Rights in Education see the law as a pillar of pluralism and diversity. proudly representing their groups.

In this light, the law guarantees groups can maintain a steady image, These rising freshmen are already being pushed to declare free of pollution from “all comers must be accepted” rules. their allegiance — their particular brand Before you accuse McDonnell of of identification. Clubs aren’t designed antiquated policies and unconstitutional With shifting ideas of what to include the gray area, they’re meant discrimination, take a look at the law itself. ‘traditional’ and ‘liberal’ mean, to put forth a very black-and-white idea The law’s second subdivision states, “No we feel an urgent need to identify or mission. You’re pressured to define public institution of higher education that ourselves through association. yourself and solidify your beliefs. has granted recognition of and access to McDonnell’s signing of the Student any student organization or group shall Group Protection Act inspired two sets of arguments: Either discriminate against any such student organization or group.” you’re for the bill or you’re against it. No other option.

Before any inherently racist, sexist or otherwise discriminative This is the same mentality running through the admitted group can ask for school funding, it first must be “granted students, and the same mentality running through America. recognition of and access to” from the college or university. As such, You’re over here or over there. Choose. the chances of hate groups or illegal clubs receiving funding relies Before you condemn the Student Group Protection Act for solely on the school granting recognition. If you attend a school that defending groups who ruin society, or applaud McDonnell for recognizes white supremacist groups, for example, blame the school ensuring plurality and diversity, consider the gray area. before you blame the law.

Say you want to join a religious or political group, but you’re Why are we shocked that a law now permits religious and turned away under the Student Group Protection Act. What’s political groups to discriminate? Other clubs discriminate any stopping you from creating a new group? time a prospective member requests access and is denied. Look Don’t run from the gray area. Make it your black and white. at Greek life. While sororities and fraternities can’t tell a potential new member to beat it because of his or her race or religion, the Email Chris Weber at cmweber@email.wm.edu.

Chris Weber

“

“

?

Comments @Theflathat

Street Beat

Bannerstalker.com charges

$5

to notify you when a class has an opening.

What do you think? Do you think it’s worth the fee?

The staff editorial represents the opinion of The Flat Hat. The editorial board, which is elected by The Flat Hat’s section editors and executive staff, consists of Abby Boyle, Matt Camarda, Katherine Chiglinsky, Meredith Ramey and Ellen Wexler. The Flat Hat welcomes submissions to the Opinions section.

Limit letters to 250 words and columns to 650 words. Letters, columns, graphics and cartoons reflect the view of the author only. Email submissions to fhopinions@gmail.com.

“I wanted a class and saw an opening in the class. As soon as I went to add it, the opening was gone.”

“No, I don’t approve.”

Scott Wieler ’16

Liz Hernandez ’15

“No. If you’re checking your email, you might as well check Banner.”

Colleen Daszkiewicz ’15 ­— photos and interviews BY Max cea

“ “

Mice down … roaches next?

— Botetourt on “Botetourt handles rodent infestations”

“ “

By lizzi alarcon, flat hat cartoonist

anner stalking. Think about that phrase for a moment.

Aptly describing the obsessive zeal with which students at the College of William and Mary approach course registration, it has now lent itself to be the namesake of a website which shrewdly utilizes that same TWAMPish fixation — and may prove to be something of a double-edged sword.

It’s as simple as this: For $5 per course registration number (with an additional fee of $1 for courses with a lab component), Bannerstalker.com notifies a student via text and email when a desired course becomes available.

The creator of the website, Peter Johnson ’15, clearly knows his market. Bannerstalker.com is being used — approximately 300 students have already signed up — and since open course registration began yesterday, it makes sense to assume more and more students will take advantage of the service it provides.

But despite the fact that it’s a shrewd business move on the part of the website’s creator, the question remains as to whether Bannerstalker.com is healthy for the student body.

It has become a cliché to say the College is a stressful place. And every year, twice a year, students get to mainline a concentrated dose of stress in the form of course registration. It’s a harried, frenetic process, and it would seem Bannerstalker.com could provide a respite from the anxiety that becomes the norm for a student who has been shut out of a course.

But not quite.

For argument’s sake: A rising senior is sitting in class. That morning was registration, and she was shut out of a small seminar-style class she needs for her major. Next semester is the only time it’s being offered in the coming year. She receives a text message telling her the course is now open. Unfortunately, her professor doesn’t allow laptops in class under any circumstances, and her phone doesn’t access the internet. She would leave class to go register elsewhere if not for the fact that her professor is going over material for the test next class, and she knows she can’t afford to miss his discussion. Of course, now she can’t pay attention anyway, as all she’s thinking about is the open course and how she isn’t currently registering for it. And it’s a popular class. Chances are, someone else is beating her to it.

In situations like these, Bannerstalker.com won’t so much curb anxiety as it will propagate it. While this example may seem hyperbolic, similar scenarios could certainly arise. (What if you’re driving when you get the text?)

If the administration wants to derive benefit from Bannerstalker.com, it should ask Johnson for the program’s analytics to see which courses are most sought after. After all, if students are willing to pay $5 for information on a certain course, chances are the demand for that course is greatly exceeding its supply. With information on desirable courses in tow, administrators could make more informed choices regarding how many sections certain courses should have. And when courses can better accommodate the number of students that wants to take them, registration anxiety — for the most part — will be brought to a halt.

The staff could use one or two of those sound-proof rooms, too.

— Lolovivi on “College got you screaming? A primal solution to dealing with modern stress”

We’re addicted to technology, but we don’t need school-sponsored rehab Emily Kelley

FLat Hat opinions Columnist

As I write this article, I will check my email at least three times and check my phone five times. I’m not waiting for a particular message, but I will repeatedly pick up my phone to glance at it then put it back down. When I look back at my computer screen, I will have to backtrack for a few minutes to relocate my train of thought. I will hardly notice having done so, but I will have just demonstrated the way in which college students go through each day, from start to finish.

Most of us don’t deny our ease of access to today’s ever-evolving technology is hurting our attention span. But at what point does this problem become detrimental enough, both to individual lives and to society

as a whole, that it should be dealt with directly?

The University of Washington thinks the issue is salient enough to warrant directing university resources toward re-teaching students how to focus. The course “Information and Contemplation” steers students to monitor how they spend time on the computer, how it makes them feel and where their minds wander. They are instructed to meditate throughout the day, free of technological interruptions.

Students have reacted positively to the exercises, reporting their ability to focus on specific tasks improved. But should a school invest in a whole course devoted to teaching students to resist the dependence on technology and its detrimental effects on productivity?

30 years ago, a college course with this premise would never have been taken seriously. Taking the time to teach young adults how to focus on a task would seem ridiculous and indulgent.

But our generation works in a radically different environment than

that of our parents. They faced only a fraction of today’s distractions, and they were not addicted to constant and new stimulation the way we are. That’s right: addicted. When you receive a text message or watch a new video, a small amount of dopamine is released in your brain, which yields a spurt of pleasure.

As a generation, we are addicted to this pleasure.

It’s a problem that should be addressed before we’re flitting from task to task like goldfish. But is a semesterlong college course really the place to do so? I commend the professor’s recognition of the attention issue and his tactics to resolve it, but I refuse to believe we are incapable of stirring up a little old-fashioned self-discipline to rein our wandering minds back in. This course should be limited to a lecture or seminar that would motivate students, handing them the tools to slow things down and take control of their wandering minds.

Email Emily Kelley at emkelley@ email.wm.edu.

Graphic by Genevieve Franco / the Flat hat

variety

Variety Editor Abby Boyle Variety Editor Áine Cain flathat.variety@gmail.com

The Flat Hat

| Tuesday, April 2, 2013 | Page 7

ALL PHOTOS BY BENOIT MATHIEU / THE FLAT HAT

The College of William and Mary’s South Asian Student Association hosted a Bhangra and Fusion Competition, Nach KeDikha. The event was held in Phi Beta Kappa Hall Saturday evening. Dance teams from universities around the country competed for $3,000 in prize money. This was the second year SASA hosted the event.

An explosion of dance: Fusion hits campus

South Asian Student Association hosts Bhangra competition

BY NATALIE FERENBACH FLAT HAT ASSOC. VARIETY EDITOR

Classical Bollywood moves mingled with Macklemore’s thrifty lyrics during the College of William and Mary’s South Asian Student Association’s Bhangra and Fusion Competition, Nach Ke Dikha.

Teams from universities around the country convened at Phi Beta Kappa Hall Saturday to compete for $3,000 in prize money. The evening marked SASA’s second successful year hosting the dance competition, which seeks to bring the different cultures of India to the campus community. Specifically, the competition showcases two styles — Fusion and Bhangra — each with its own distinctive feel. Fusion is a modern twist on South Asian dance. As suggested by its name, Fusion entails the intermixing of different cultural styles, specifically those of East and West, as well as modern and classical dance.

“Fusion incorporates Bollywood dance along with Indian classical and Western styles like hip-hop or R&B to create a totally different style that a lot of people haven’t seen before,” Harmeet Kamboj ’16, an organizer and cochair of Nach Ke Dikha, said.

The winner for the Fusion category was the all-male University of Michigan group Izzat. The team’s performance featured the overarching theme of a James Bond mission put to a dance, combining hip-hop and classical styles.

“I thought [Izzat] was really cool,” Anne Self ’15 said. “It was almost a show — and more than just a dance performance.”

Using a specific scene as the basis for a dance is a common element of Fusion performances.

For example, the University of North Carolina’s team, Chalkaa, used a “Life of Pi” themed routine, complete with an introductory video and a recorded narrative.

The mixing of genres attracted the attention of members of SYNDICATE, the College’s hip-

hop dance team.

“I heard about this because I’m on SYNDICATE and they have a hip-hop fusion segment, so I decided to come and see what it’s about,” Brian Hur ’15 said.

Alongside the modern Fusion showcase, Nach Ke Dikha featured a competition in the more traditional Punjabi dance styles of Bhangra. Bhangra’s folk style involves elaborate and colorful costumes, as well as a number of characteristic props. The winner of the Bhangra competition was the University of Virginia’s Di Shaan. Di Shaan is an officially recognized club sport at U.Va. The College’s own group, Dhamaal, also performed and continues to strengthen its team.

“William and Mary’s team is getting really close to breaking into the big Bhangra scene, especially with our performance coming in second place at the recent competition at the University of Mary Washington,” Kamboj said.

Continued practice at university competitions helps the team increase its competitiveness each year. Attending other universities’ competitions also helps SASA run its own event. SASA President Prateek Reddy ’13 has attended a number of other competitions, which has helped him to refine and build upon last year’s Nach Ke Dikha.

Members of SASA managed to put on last year’s event in just a month. Teams were invited to attend instead of having to apply to compete, and prize money was $1,000 for each category.

This year’s prize money was $1,500. SASA also added a mixer for the competitors prior to the event this year to give the teams a chance to get to know one another, as well as to pick the competition line-up.

“A good number of colleges run competitions like this, especially bigger colleges,” Reddy

said. “So they host competitions like this, and it creates a competitive circuit. I’ve been to some of other schools to see what ideas we can pull from it and what they do well. Because I didn’t have a background in dance, I knew I’d be more heavily involved in logistics. So I bring a different perspective in trying to think of creative ways to host the competition itself.”

SASA club members come from a wide range of dance backgrounds. For many, involvement in SASA and Bhangra is a new interest developed at the College.

“I just picked it up in college; I was dating an Indian girl who did Bhangra at VCU,” Iman Shajerr ’14 said. “At William and Mary, the majority of the team never did it before — they just came into school wanting to do something new.”

For other club members, Bhangra was an existing interest that they have since built upon through SASA. This year’s Nach Ke Dikha cochair, for example, brings years of experience with Banghra to the organization.

“There was a point when I was applying to college where whether the university had a Banghra team was a deciding category,” Kamboj said. “It’s been an integral part of my life since I was 14.”

Nach Ke Dikha constitutes a huge success for SASA in bringing a competition of this caliber to campus.

“Prateek [Reddy] really supports all members of SASA in coming up with our own projects and things that interest us — and SASA has really taken off as a club because of his work,” Nuha Naqui ’15 said. “He was cochair of Nach Ke Dikha last year, and he had this dream of bringing Bhangra and Fusion to Williamsburg. This year the event has only improved.”

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

No gray morality here: Lack of consent always equals rape Elaine Bevington

BEhind closed doors columnist

A very dear friend of mine was raped not too long ago. You guys, this is not a story I wanted to write.

Nothing is less sexy than rape, and I wish I could just think and write about sexy things all the time. Rape is not sex. But sometimes we talk about rape as if it were, and it messes with our perception of the differences between the two. The existence of rape and rape apologists messes with how we view gender, our bodies, sex, sexuality, consent and so on. All this messes with the ways that we have sex. This is rape culture, and this is why it’s a problem.

A couple things brought rape and rape culture to the forefront of my thoughts this week: last Sunday’s episode of “Girls” and the Steubenville gang rape verdict.

The Steubenville case is disturbing and complex in so many ways, but there are several details that stick out to me in particular: The victim was urinated on, carried limply by her wrists and ankles, and violated repeatedly with inanimate objects. All of this was photographed, filmed and

published on social media. The point here is humiliation — the rapists aren’t just doing this to get off, they’re also doing it to shame and denigrate their victim. It is disgusting. So I felt a little ill when I read about CNN’s coverage of the guilty verdict that included quotes like this one from reporter Poppy Harlow: “Incredibly difficult, even for an outsider like me, to watch what happened as these two young men that had such promising futures, star football players, very good students, literally watched as they believed their lives fell apart.”

Let’s step back for a minute and think about that statement. Is it sad that two teenagers will not get to have the bright futures they might have had? Yes, very. But is that something that is happening to them, or is it a consequence that they caused? Their lives are falling apart because they made the decision to rape a girl. What I find sad about this situation is that their 16 years of experience didn’t teach them not to rape. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, a positive-feedback loop: Statements like Harlow’s elide the rapists’ own culpability. This is the flip side of victim blaming; Harlow does not accuse the victim of causing her abusers’ downfall — though others on the Internet have — but she does divorce the consequences from the rapists’ actions, which has a similar effect.

Let’s move on to “Girls” for a moment. The episode that aired March 10 was the first time I’ve actually appreciated something the show has done. The sex scene between Adam and Natalia was disturbing to say the least. Adam tells Natalia to get on all fours and crawl to his bed, which she does, although she’s clearly uncomfortable. Then Adam chases her, picks her up, throws her on the bed, and eats her out. This might have been very sexy if Natalia didn’t say “no” at this point. She struggles and protests, but he doesn’t stop. He starts to have sex with her, and she doesn’t say anything. When he finishes, he pulls out and cums on her chest.

“I don’t think I liked that,” she says as he throws her a towel to clean herself up. The Internet spent the past two weeks trying to decide if the scene was rape or not. To me, it clearly was.

Natalia said “no” during foreplay, and Adam didn’t stop and check in with his partner. Instead, he pushed things further, without any conceivable receipt of consent. That’s rape.

It is clear that Natalia isn’t enjoying what’s happening from the start. When Adam tells her to crawl to his bed she looks scared, not turned on. He keeps going because he’s trying to make a point, to assert his dominance and because he’s a recovering alcoholic who’s just had a drink. But he doesn’t keep going because he’s interested in a

mutually pleasurable sexual encounter, which is the only reason he should.

This is the kind of so-called “gray rape” that reminds me of my friend.

She was with a guy she knew a little bit, and she was beginning to trust him.

She had agreed to some things — acts that could be part of foreplay or could be sex in and of themselves. The guy she was with forced his penis into her despite her vocal “no.” That’s rape; there’s nothing “gray” about it. She felt violated, traumatized. Like Adam, the guy was likeable, trustable, and has friends who would have been shocked if they knew, who probably would have defended him and called her a liar if she reported him.

Good people sometimes do bad things. Sometimes rapists can be people who seem good. Sometimes

FH

rapists are people we know, like and sympathize with. That is the only gray part of these situations — the grayness that comes with human nature that has both good and evil in it. It is sad — very sad — to hear about rape so often. But as all of these stories prove, we don’t yet know how to prevent rape or how to properly deal with the aftermath. When good people keep doing bad things, it is a sign that we as a society have not taught them how to be good. We don’t teach teenage boys the importance of sober consent. We don’t teach couples like Adam and Natalia how to negotiate rough sex with safe boundaries. I certainly don’t have all the answers or all the right responses to these scenarios. I only know that we need to keep talking about them until we do have the right answers.

For more on this issue, check back with The Flat Hat on Friday for a story on the new project “William & Mary Stands with Survivors.”

GENEVIEVE FRANCO / THE FLAT HAT

x x x xxx x Sx x x x x x D E x TxEx xRRxIVx x x x x x x A xxxxxxxxxxxx x x x x x x x“ x x x x x xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Flat Hat

The energy level was amazing ... People applauded. People laughed. People were reciprocating and talking and empathizing.

—Moderator Kaveh Sadeghian ’12

“

Page 8

Conference creates forum for students, faculty to present ideas

BY CLAIRE GILLESPIE FLAT HAT ASSOC. NEWS EDITOR

Conversation, the key to TEDx events, permeated the inaugural TEDxCollegeofWilliam&Mary from the opening exclamations to the introductions to the exchange of ideas following the series of nine talks March 31 in Alan B. Miller Hall.

“I know that they’re talks, but the way in which they structured it, they’re really hoping for students to engage,” Christiana Kallon ’11 said.

“We have these little boxes where we can get feedback, these little vendors — so really this is an active kind of conference.”

Three recent alumni, three professors, two current students and the director of operations at AidData, a program started by former College undergraduates, spoke. Additionally, two TED talks from the non-profit website were shown and students, alumni and the non-profit Destination Imagination exhibited their research or work Saturday.

The speeches began with Adam Stackhouse ’04, who spoke of transmedia — the power of using different mediums to tell a story.

“I hope that people start to think about the ways that they can tell stories differently and in a more engaging, community-driven way,” Stackhouse said.

AidData Director of Operations David Trichler outlined AidData’s mission: to find a way to use data to do good and save lives.

“We are in an era where mountains and mountains of data are being created at every

moment,” Trichler said. “With that mountain of data, we need to look at that information, analyze it, share it, then act upon it.”

Trichler emphasized the importance of the College undergraduate students who started AidData, ran it during its first summers and continue to assist in its research.

“The greatest resource that William and Mary has … is the intellectually curious, passionately driven, never-take-no undergrad[uate]s,” Trichler said. “… We have now created the world’s largest, most transparent public database. We have mapped out $5 trillion in data. And we think we can do even more.”

Professor Michael Luchs designed a sustainability class in the business school using innovative methods. Even the classroom’s location was different. The class was held in a design studio instead of a classroom. Luchs received feedback from students in real time rather than after the course finished.

To design the course, Luchs felt he needed to use a “design mindset” instead of his usual academic one.

“We all have unique talents that we can bring to the problem of innovating higher education … and I encourage everyone to sort of think about how you can bring your unique talents to the problems that we have even if they’re talents that are seemingly unrelated,” Luchs said.

Bailey Thomson ’10 shared her experiences of teaching underprivileged children in California during her tenure with Teach For America.

“Innovation is probably a middle-upper class

privilege,” Thomson said. “Low income students, students in South Africa or low income countries, are not equipping their students to innovate.”

Thomson found ways for her students to fully participate in her classroom by allowing them to use slang or teach each other. Her goal was to teach the children to see, speak, solve and serve.

“When you serve others, you guarantee that the innovation you bring to a project is done out of love,” Thomson said.

Tim Pagano M.A. ’14 believes the less we actively respect one another, the less we will be able to expect from each other.

“When did respect become passive?” Pagano said. “When did respect become leaving someone alone?”

Christiana Kallon ’11 used her experiences growing up in non-Western societies to call for considering the stories of non-Westerners, especially girls.

“There is a great need for educational policies that are effective, inclusive, but, most importantly, culturally relevant,” Kallon said.

Pat Austria ’13, a native of the Philippines, spoke of the ways in which technology and the communication it allows for can be used to improve worldwide disaster prevention and response.

“I believe that, given the level of technological advancement and societal engagement in this world, ignorance is completely unacceptable,” Austria said.

Austria developed the Lunas Project to better compile data received electronically — through

texts and tweets — to map areas and maximize rescue operations in the aftermath of natural disasters.

William R. Kenan, Jr., Distinguished Professor of Humanities Tamara Sonn spoke of the myths American culture has held to esteem and how they have influenced the country’s behavior. She explained that the myth of George Washington and the cherry tree, for example, has shown the value our society places on virtues like honesty and integrity.

“Myths are stories that may or may not be true but that we cherish anyway as part of our group’s story,” Sonn said. “Because they tell us who our heroes are and ignite our values.”

Dr. David Aday spoke of the Student Organization for Medical Outreach and Sustainability, which was developed by College undergraduates.

“By their role, students are expected to develop the habit of thinking analytically,” Aday said.

“By their role, they’re expected to develop the tendency to challenge common sense.”

Co-curator Anna Mahalak ’12 and moderator Kaveh Sadeghian ’12 emphasized that the ultimate goal of TED is almost synonymous with the enthusiastic, academic-centric culture that the College fosters.

“The energy level was amazing,” Sadeghian said. “… People applauded. People laughed. People were reciprocating and talking and empathizing, and people want to go to Brickhouse [Tavern] and keep the conversations going. It’s exactly what it was supposed to be.”

Students observe spring religious celebrations on campus

Organizations provide a diverse range of services and spiritual activities for Passover, Easter

BY ARIEL COHEN FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER

For some students at the College of William and Mary, spring holidays present challenges. Suddenly the comforts of home are gone. There is no break allowing students to spend time with family during the festivities, and they are left with questions like: Where’s the homemade cooking?

Where should I go to services? Who do I go with? Can I carry my familiar traditions to this new setting?

But, never fear, moms and dads: It is likely that your student found a way to celebrate this spring holiday season. While a Williamsburg Easter celebration may not include childhood egg hunts and homemade family brunches, some students choose to attend services at Bruton Parish with friends, followed by a quick stop at Einstein Bagels. And while it may not be the same as Bubbie’s, the Commons

Dining Hall offers Passover options such as matzoh-brye.

Many Jewish students participate in events presented by William and Mary Balfour Hillel every Passover. The organization puts on two Seders every spring; the first Seder is in conjunction with Temple Beth El, and the second Seder is exclusively for College students.

“I’ve gone to Passover the past few years, so I never thought to go to Hillel,” Sarah Klotz ’14 said. “I thought it was great. The Seder was definitely different than what I do with my family, but it was an entertaining spectacle having anyone who was Jewish at William and Mary reciting prayers in the Campus Center.”

Passover celebrates the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt through the telling of the story at the traditional Seder.

This year, the eight-day remembrance holiday lasted from March 25 to April 2.

“You get to interact with other Jews

on campus, people you’ve never met before,” Sophie Berman ’13 said. “I love the Jewish holidays for the ethnic aspect of being Jewish. You are guaranteed to meet someone new and interesting and enjoy some delicious food.”

Many Jews abstain from eating grains to commemorate the rush to leave Egypt. Campus dining coordinated with Balfour Hillel to make sure Jewish students were able to keep kosher during Passover — hence the matzoh and other seemingly strange Passover foods you may have seen in the Commons this past week.

“Just the very fact William and Mary has a Seder is a great thing,” Hillel President Matt Baker ’15 said.

“I just like carrying on the tradition, whether it be the traditional Passover traditions, or the William and Mary Hillel traditions, such as having the freshman say the four questions.”

March 31, devout Christian students and Christmas-and-Easter-only

Christians alike don pastel bow ties or dresses and head to church.

Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after his crucifixion, as described in the New Testament. Much like Christmas, the holiday has become highly commercialized, and modern conceptualizations of Easter may bring to mind memories of bunnies and chocolate egg hunts rather than the images of crucifixion, burial and ascension.

Students at the College involved in Baptist Campus Ministries begin their Easter celebrations in Williamsburg at various churches, and then gather back together in the evening for an Easter dinner and egg hunt. After their Easter egg hunt, they take the eggs back to the Baptist Campus Ministries’ house and stuff the eggs with candy and notes wishing students good luck on their exams. Later in the week, they hide the eggs around campus.

“[The egg hunt] is a lot of fun and a way for us to share something positive with the campus, especially right before final projects and exams get in full swing,” Lindsey Huggins ’14 said.

Other on-campus groups such as Catholic Campus Ministries and Reform University Fellowship celebrate Easter with various traditions. Many students attend church at local parishes with friends and hit up Sadler for brunch afterwards.

“This year I went to mass at St. Bede’s, which is the Catholic Church here. I went with about six sorority sisters,” Emily Eyestone ’14 said. “You normally associate religious holidays with your family, but it was really special to be able to spend time with friends here.”

At the end of the Easter holiday, students retired their church clothes for more comfortable attire for studying.

Tuesday night, Hillel will celebrate the end of Passover with a pizza party.

sportsinside

The Flat Hat | Tuesday, April 2, 2013 | Page 9

TENNIS

Daub reaches 500-win milestone in sweep

Tribe improves to 2-1 in conference play with doubleheader wins over James Madison and Delaware Daub garners 500th win after 20 years at College After coaching stints at Redlands and Temple, Peter Daub took the helm of the William and Mary tennis program in 1993 and reached his 500th career win Saturday against Delaware. During his two decades at the College, Daub garnered three Colonial Athletic Association Coach of the Year awards, one CAA championship and one United States Tennis Association Virginia College Coach of the Year award.

His players at the College have earned 65 All-CAA honors (38 singles/27 doubles), one CAA Player of the Year award and three Rookie of the Year awards. His career coaching record stands at 500-361. Saturday, Daub is part of an exclusive group of eight coaches who have won

NUMBERS

BY THE

PETER DAUB

20 9 500-361 years Daub has served as the College’s head tennis coach

at least 200 games in their respective sport at the College.

“500 is just a number, but what means more to me is everyone that was part of it,” Daub said.

“All the players, assistants, administrators and everyone that have been around for those victories are special to me and are what make this moment special. It is a nice Daub milestone to reach, but there have been a lot of people along the way that have afforded me the opportunity to be in this position.”

-Flat Hat Sports Editor Jack Powers

Daub’s collegiate coaching record

COURTESY PHOTO / TRIBE ATHLETICS

Daub cracks a smile as he watches his players complete their victory against James Madison, which was his 500th win.

BY YONNIE IYOB FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER

After defeating James Madison 4-3 in the morning, William and Mary’s second victory Saturday afternoon signified more than just another win for the season. The Tribe’s 5-2 victory over Delaware marked the 500th win for men’s tennis head coach Peter Daub.

Despite losing the top two slots in singles play against the Dukes (5-8, 2-1 CAA) and the Blue Hens (4-7, 1-1 CAA), the Tribe (10-13, 3-0 CAA) won both tilts and secured a historical milestone for Daub.

The Tribe faced the Dukes in the morning, claiming the doubles point to start off the day.

The current Colonial Athletic Association Doubles Team of the Week, senior Anton Andersson and sophomore Aaron Chaffee, defeated the Dukes’ Ryan Pool and Robert Stirling 8-6 to grab the

initial victory for the Tribe. Junior Ben Hoogland and senior Adrian Vodislav went on to secure the sweep for the doubles point with an 8-2 drubbing of Bastien Russo and Greg Vladimirsky.

Singles play began with junior John Banks quickly extending the Tribe’s lead to 2-0 with a 6-2, 6-2 dismantling of the Duke’s Maxi Branth at the No. 6 position. The win improved Banks’ record on the season to 5-1 at the No. 6 spot.

After Banks’ victory, JMU finally got on the board with the Dukes’ Vladmirsky defeating junior Ben Guthrie 6-3, 6-2 in the No. 3 slot. The Tribe responded, however, with a victory at the No. 4 slot as Hoogland dispatched Stirling 7-6, 6-2. Hoogland decided the first set with a tie-breaker but went on to comfortably defeat Stirling in the second set.

Hoogland’s victory extended the Tribe’s lead to 3-1.

The Dukes tied the Tribe at 3-3 with victories at the No. 1 and No. 2 slots. However, Vodislav

3 65

times Daub has guided the Tribe to 15-win seasons

eventually rescued the Tribe in the No. 5 position, winning the match with a 4-6, 6-1, 6-1 comeback over the Dukes’ Florent Sentenac.

The afternoon match was a more comfortable victory for the Tribe, as the team topped Delaware 5-2.

The College began again with victories in all three doubles matches. Andersson and Chaffee defeated the Blue Hens’ Troy Beneck and Adam Lawton, 8-3. This was the duo’s fifth win in its last six matches at the No. 1 slot, improving its season record to 8-7.

Banks and Hoogland wrapped things up in doubles for the Tribe with an 8-4 triumph over Jason Derene and Mike Furr in the No. 3 slot, improving the duo’s record to 2-1 in doubles play.

Opening singles play, Guthrie was easily defeated by the Blue Hens’ Lawton, 6-0, 6-1 in the No. 2 slot, tying the match at 1-1. However, the tie would not last long as freshman Scott Huang was

number of times Daub has been awarded the CAA Coach of the Year amount of times Daub’s players have garneded All-CAA honors

able to respond with an easy victory in the No. 6 slot over fellow freshman Alex Sweet, 6-1, 6-0. The win marked Huang’s 11th win of the season.

Huang’s victory gave the Tribe the lead for the rest of the match. For the second time Saturday, Hoogland extended the Tribe’s lead to 3-1 with his 6-1, 6-1 defeat of Evan Andrews in the No. 4 position.

The victory improved Hoogland’s record to 8-2 on the season at the No. 4 singles position.

Vodislav and Banks wrapped things up for the Tribe. Vodislav pulled out a tough victory over Nolan Gelman, 7-5, 6-3, good for his 10th win on the season in the No. 3 slot. Banks finished off the Blue Hens with his 6-3, 6-2 victory over Delaware’s Derene in the No. 6 slot. Banks currently leads the Tribe with 18 wins for the year.

William and Mary will close out the regular season with matches against Richmond April 10 and Old Dominion April 13. Both games will take place in Williamsburg.

Tribe falls to 3-7 going into CAA play LACROSSE from page 10

May 28 - June 28 July 1 - August 2 Choose from about 180 courses in Arts & Sciences.

• • • •

Fulfill requirements Explore new fields of study Prepare for future career paths Study full- or part-time

www.wm.edu/summer Register for summer classes via Banner at my.wm.edu.

Registration begins on March 11 and continues through the first day of classes. No application is necessary for current William & Mary students.

Tuition per credit hour: In-state $300 Out-of-state $1,000 There is a one-time fee of $75 for summer classes. Applied Music courses and some Art, Lab, and Kinesiology courses charge additional fees.

Scan to check out our website now

Jenna Dougherty with just over 23 minutes left in the game.

From that point forward, the Lancers seized control of the game. Recovering a Murphy turnover, Longwood scored to cut the lead to 7-6. After a failed Tribe shot, the Lancers raced downfield and scored on the counterattack to tie the game halfway through the second period.

The Lancers recovered the next two draws and denied the Tribe a chance at an offensive possession, instead scoring on both possessions to take a 9-7 lead. As the

Tribe scrambled to stop the bleeding on ensuing possessions, it surrendered two turnovers, which ruined any comeback opportunities. The Lancers added another goal — their sixth of the last seven scores — to grab a 10-7 lead with nine minutes remaining.

Though the game had largely slipped away, the Tribe attempted to rally in the last minutes. Salmon scored her third goal of the day to cut the deficit to 10-8, and Dougherty scored her second goal less than a minute later to cut Longwood’s lead to just one goal.

The threat was short-lived as Longwood

scored the next two goals to take a 12-9 lead with three minutes left, ending any hope for a Tribe victory.

Although the College added a final goal, the Lancers prevailed 12-10. The Lancers didn’t dominate any statistical category, barely out-shooting the Tribe and trailing in ground balls and draw controls. The key player for the Lancers was goalkeeper Christian Acker, who stopped ten shots to help stop the Tribe’s offense.

Salmon led the Tribe with three goals, continuing her stellar individual season.

The College takes on Drexel at home Friday at 7 p.m.

College to privately fund stadium project ZABLE from page 3

from a capacity of 12,174 to over 15,400. In 2012, the team averaged attendance of 9,884.

As for a timetable, College officials say the project is in the very early stages. A schedule in the presentation lists tentative dates of March 1, 2013, for the selection of an

architect and engineer, March 15 for fee negotiations, and March 22 to award the contract. It says construction should start December 2014, immediately following the completion of the football team’s 2014 season.

Director of University Relations Brian Whitson said the price would depend on the College’s ability to raise private funding for the project.

“Zable Stadium has long since passed its 70th anniversary,” Whitson wrote in an email. “Though historic and beautiful, it badly needs repairs. W&M is exploring options and costs. Decisions about what to do will hinge on the availability of private funds. No state funds may be used for athletic facilities.”

The project would piggy-back off plans already developed in a 2006 Zable Stadium Feasibility study. The project led to the construction of the Jimmye Laycock Football Center and added football practice fields to campus, which were completed in COURTESY PHOTO / THE PRE-PROPOSAL CONFERENCE FOR ARCHITECT-ENGINEER SERVICES 2008.

The added seats would take the stadium Blueprint for the expansion of Zable Stadium, which would add over 3,000 seats to the complex.

sports

Sports Editor Jack Powers Sports Editor Chris Weber flathatsports@gmail.com

The Flat Hat | Tuesday, April 2, 2013 | Page 10

BASEBALL

COURTESY PHOTO / TRIBE ATHLETICS

Despite the College’s eight-game winning streak coming to a close, the Tribe took two of three from High Point in the weekend series. Sophomore first baseman Michael Katz returned from an unspecified injury.

Streak ends, College recovers series

Tribe drops first game before taking next two against High Point, first baseman Katz returns

5

7

5

GAME 1

Statistics for the College’s starting pitchers in the three-game weekend series against High Point

for a ninth-straight win.

Junior middle reliever John Sheehan came into the game in the eighth inning and shut down the Panthers for two innings to force extras. After comfortably recording the first two outs of the tenth frame, the deluge started.

Sheehan gave up a single and a walk before he was pulled for freshman reliever Mitchell Aker who was unable to cope with the jam, starting off with a wild pitch that allowed both runners to advance and surrendering a double which drove in both High Point runners.

The Tribe went down swinging and missing in the bottom of the tenth inning, ending the eight-game win streak in frustrating fashion.

In the wake of its extra-innings implosion Friday, the Tribe turned to their ace, senior starting pitcher John Farrell, for Saturday’s game.

He didn’t disappoint. Farrell’s fourth complete game of the season rested a tired Tribe relief staff and improved his record to 6-0.

After shaking off the rust Friday,

WILLIAM AND MARY TRIBE

Koehler

HIGH POINT PANTHERS

Senior pitcher Brett Koehler struck out eight batters in six innings of work. Koehler gave up five runs on 12 hits in the loss Friday.

WILLIAM AND MARY TRIBE

Farrell

Katz found his rhythm Saturday, going 2 for 3 at the plate, while scoring two runs and bringing in one more.

The rest of the lineup fed off of Katz’s return to form with eight players contributing hits in the victory.

Despite the offense and a 4-2 lead in the top of the ninth inning, High Point notched two runs on two hits to tie the game heading into the bottom of the ninth.

Senior center fielder Ryan Brown maneuvered himself into scoring position by hitting a single through the left side and then reaching second on a gutsy steal. After Brown, High Point pitcher Jamie Schultz struck out two and walked two Tribe batters to load the bases with two outs.

Freshman catcher Ryan Hissey played the hero, bashing the ball past the second baseman into the outfield. The hit brought in Brown to win the game and tie the series at one game apiece.

The rubber match Sunday proved to be the best performance of the series for the Tribe, who held the

4

HIGH POINT PANTHERS

Senior pitcher John Farrell went nine innings strong, allowing 10 hits and four runs. Farrell’s fourth complete game saw seven strikeouts.

GAME 3

As soon as William and Mary’s eight-game win streak came to a contentious close in extra innings Friday against High Point, a fresh one began Saturday.

The first two games of the series were tightly contended with the Panthers (14-14) winning 7-5 Friday and the College (20-8, 5-1 CAA) winning 5-4 Saturday. Sunday’s contest was much more comfortable for the Tribe, as it cruised to a 9-5 victory to wrap up the series at Plumeri Park.

“I think it’s great to take two of three regardless of whether you’re on an eight-game win streak,” head coach Jamie Pinzino said. “We’ve been playing good baseball but you’re going to lose somewhere along the line. It was a tough loss Friday night, but I thought our guys responded well.”

The weekend series against High Point also marked the return of sophomore first baseman Michael

Katz, who has a ludicrous .449 batting average in 21 games played so far this season. Katz had suffered from an unspecified vision disorder that kept him on the bench for the previous two weeks.

“He’s been great,” said Pinzino.

“He’s good to go. I mean, obviously, he wouldn’t be out there if he wasn’t.

So he’s all healthy and we’re thrilled to have him back in the lineup.”

After eight games with fewer than four allowed runs in any given game and four total shutouts, the Tribe pitching staff finally relented, giving up seven runs Friday, two of which came in the decisive tenth inning.

Senior starting pitcher Brett Koehler (3-2) had an uncharacteristic outing, giving up four earned runs on 12 hits.

Trailing 5-1, the seventh inning stretch seemed to rejuvenate the Tribe batters. Junior third baseman Ryan Lindemuth drove in three runs with a bases-clearing triple to left field. Next up was Katz, who smashed the ball across the infield, which gave Lindemuth just enough time to score the tying run and keep alive the hope

GAME 2

BY JACK POWERS FLAT HAT SPORTS EDITOR

LACROSSE

Tribe loses early lead in loss to Longwood College watches advantage disappear as Lancer’s offensive attack drops squad to 3-7

BY MICK SLOAN FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER William and Mary’s season took an unexpected turn Saturday afternoon as the Tribe dropped another road game after establishing an early lead. Longwood (7-4) came back from a secondhalf deficit to top the College (3-7) 12-10.

The match started off quickly, as the Lancers controlled the opening draw and scored a minute later for the 1-0 lead. However, the College’s senior midfield Caitlin Murphy quickly responded with an on-target shot one minute later to tie the game.

The Tribe smothered the Lancers’ offense for the next 10 minutes, forcing five turnovers and holding Longwood scoreless. During that period, goals from sophomore attacker Ellen Shaffrey and senior attacker Kyrstin Mackrides gave the College a 3-1 advantage with 18 minutes, 48 seconds remaining in the first half.

The Tribe failed to keep pressure on Longwood, and the Lancers scored on consecutive possessions to pull themselves into a 3-3 tie.

Junior attacker Taelor Salmon scored a fourth goal for the Tribe just 10 seconds later, but the

College’s lead wouldn’t last. The Lancers scored again to tie the score at 4-4 halfway through the first half.

The College dominated the rest of the first half, picking up two more goals from leading scorers Mackrides and Salmon, while holding Longwood scoreless for 16 minutes. However, the Tribe squandered multiple scoring opportunities with errant shots and turnovers, failing to extend its 6-4 halftime lead.

Offensively, the Tribe out-shot the Lancers 13-11 in the opening half. The College recovered 10 ground balls to Longwood’s seven, but the Lancers won the face-off battle 6-5 to stay in the contest. Holding a 6-4 advantage, the Tribe simply had to replicate its first half performance to hang on for the win.

But just like the first half, the Lancers needed only a minute to score; they connected on a freeposition shot to cut the Tribe lead to 6-5. After a wild five-minute stretch featuring multiple turnovers from both sides, the Tribe finally responded with a goal from junior midfielder See LACROSSE page 9

COURTESY PHOTO / TRIBE ATHLETICS

Sophomore attacker Ellen Shaffrey found the net once Saturday.

lead throughout. The College fed off the 5-0 advantage it had amassed by the fourth inning to cruise to a comfortable 9-5 victory.

Sophomore starting pitcher Jason Inghram threw six innings and gave up just two runs to register his fourth win of the season. Sheehan threw two innings of shutout baseball in relief after Inghram was pulled. Aker sealed the win in the ninth despite giving up a two-run home run to the Panthers.

“I felt pretty good today,” said Inghram. “The fastball was working pretty well — for the most part I was able to locate it where I wanted to.

Also, my defense did a good job of making plays behind me.”

Katz led the Tribe batters again Sunday as he swatted three hits, driving in three runs. Brown touched home plate three times in the game to cap off an outstanding home stand, notching five runs in the three-game series.

The Tribe takes its new winning streak on the road to face Richmond Tuesday.

9

WILLIAM AND MARY TRIBE

Inghram

5

HIGH POINT PANTHERS

Sophomore pitcher Jason Inghram scattered six hits and two runs over six innings. Inghram threw eight strikeouts in the Tribe’s win.

TRACK AND FIELD

College throwers set records at Richmond’s Fred Hardy Invitational William and Mary’s track and field program competed in Richmond’s Fred Hardy Invitational this past weekend, racking up a slew of records from the throwing events. While the track was largely quiet, the throwing area saw the College post a few top-10 finishes.

Senior Natalie Baird finished second in the discus throw with a distance of Smutsky 45.42 meters. Freshman Rochelle Evans, turning an impressive first year, finished behind Baird.

Evan’s 42.99-meter throw was good for a No. 3 finish.

Junior Anna Rose Gellert threw the javelin 34.74 meters, good for her lifetime best mark and the 13th best throw in school history.

On the men’s side, freshman Taylor Frenia set a new personal record with his 46.60-meter toss. Freshman Bob Smutsky threw the javelin 59.43 meters to take the No. 2 ranking in the event.

The College returns to Williamsburg to host the Colonial Relays April 4-6.

—Flat Hat Sports Editor Chris Weber

nonsense

Variety Editor Jellie - the Jill half Variety Editor Jellie - the Ellie half flathat.variety@gmail.com

The Fat Head | Tuesday, April 2, 2013 | Page :)

Departments reorganize for student leadership

BY A STUDENT LEADER FAT HEAD RANDO

The Office of Community Engagement, formerly known as the Office of Community Engagement and Scholarship, will now extend its leadership capabilities to every department on campus to help prepare every single student to be a student leader.

Leading the world

In light of recent renaming of certain offices, departments and titles at the College of William and Mary, this small office located on the third floor of Blow Memorial Hall will now extend to every department on campus.

“Leadership is becoming extremely trendy,” Vice President of Student Leadership Lou Melljes said. “When you think about it, every discipline on campus is dedicated to creating this world’s next leaders in their respective fields. We feel that by renaming the departments we will give students the ability to be true innovators.”

In order to re-focus a c a d e m i a around the concept of s t u d e n t

leadership, each department will now begin with the words “leaders of.”

The English deparment will be “leaders of words.” The history department will be “leaders of facts.”

The Religious Studies department will be re-named “leaders of things people believe.” The change will go into effect at the beginning of the 2013-2014 academic year.

“Students should be more focused on serving their community and learning how to be leaders, not on memorizing facts or writing long papers,” Student Leader Anna Jones ’14 said. “What’s more impressive — having a profile picture of you ­ teaching English to kids in Africa or getting an A on your Biology final?”

Students will now be recognized as student leaders in their departments.

Each student leader is required to submit a personal statement about how they lead at the end of each academic year.

“I think I’m going to call my statement ‘Using Social Innovation to Create Real Change through Synergy’ to explain my work,” Student Leader Jake Harrison ’15 said. “I believe in the power of buzzwords to express ideas. If you repeat the same words over and over again, it only makes your argument more effective.”

Many students feel this change will make their degrees more focused on applicable life skills they can use in the post-graduation job market.

“Learning how to make fluffy, gneeral-sounding terms seem reasonable and useful is a valubale life skill that every undergraduate should have,” Anna Jones ’14 said.

“I already feel more prepared for the real world.”

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Former Big Man hates sex column Chet Sexless

DISGRUNTLED SEX COLUMN READER

After a few years of having to read the sex column, I know a few things about it. Mainly that I dislike it strongly. Why do we have it? Who reads it? Why do I have to hear about lady bits so much? I’m here to share with you the trials and tribulations of a man forced to seriously read this column for a whole year.

My most significant problem is that it is every week. Who actually has sex that much? Isn’t it just a thing for special events, like your birthday and Flag Day? Also, why do they have to use so many euphemisms that are somehow dirtier than the actual medical terms. I mean, I know I don’t want to read about penises, or God forbid, vaginas, but somehow meat sticks and vajayjays end up sounding significantly grosser.

Those below me kept saying it was a sex and relationships column, and that it was important for starting discussions about sex on campus but I never understood how even the tamer columns end up really explicit. A column about long distance relationships inevitably leads to phone sex, one about parties turns into a dissertation on one night stands and one about eating dinner ends up being about oral sex? Why do these people always have sex on the mind? What is up with that?

They always give all this advice about ways to spice up your sex life and it’s just like, I’m fine with what I’ve got, thanks. Shirt on, lights off, over as quickly as possible. That’s all you need friends.

If I wrote the sex column, it would go like this: Don’t do it. Whatever you do, don’t have sex. And if you must have sex, please do not talk about it where I can hear or write about it where I have to read it.

Chet Sexless is a former Fat Head Big Man and Athletic Things Editor. He thinks sex is best when it isn’t at all.

Laura Flippin throws campus-wide party, all night rave on Sunken Garden

BY LAURA FLIPPIN’S LAWYER FAT HEAD LEGAL REPORTER

After respectfully resigning from the Board of Visitors on Sept. 25, Laura Flippin returned to campus last weekend to throw a ballin party for the student body.

Flippin bought tabs at College Deli, Paul’s Deli and the Green Leafe for students to use on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. She converted the Sunken Garden into an all-out rave, hiring New Kids on the Block to play for 24 hours straight.

“I just really wanted to do something for the students,” Flippin said. “I also really wanted to get hammered with them. College is just so much fun.”

Flippin arrived on campus Friday afternoon and headed straight for her favorite bar, the Green Leafe. She ordered a burger and four gin and

tonics to start off her visit.

“Laura is my favorite costumer.

Whenever she comes into town, I run out of gin,” Green Leafe Bartender Gavin McGuillicutty said. “She’s real easy to talk to after her fourth or fifth gin and tonic.”

After spending the afternoon and most of the evening at the Leafe, Flippin went to join the Sunken Garden rager.

She took a taxi to the Sunken Garden from the doors of the Green Leafe.

When Flippin arrived, New Kids on the Block pulled her up on stage to thank her for hosting the party. Flippin sang the lyrics to “Summertime” before jumping off stage into the glow-stick illuminated crowd.

“It was awesome. She’s awesome. I got to hold her leg for a minute while she was crowd-surfing. I haven’t washed my hand since,” Cory Matthews ’16 said. “I wanna be just like her when

I graduate.”

Approximately half of the student body attended the concert in the Sunken Garden. Every student in attendance got a complimentary koozie with instructions for how to negotiate your way out of a drunk in public charge.

“There are a lot of students getting unfairly arrested these days,” Flippin said. “I’m just trying to help them learn that college is about partying and that if the cops try and stop that you deserve to fight back. Also that honor code thing? They should tell you about that before they try to take away your diploma or position or something.”

Flippin viewed her contribution to the College as a demonstration in the importance of maintaining traditions.

“I was trying to share my favorite tradition of being completely wasted at all hours of the day and night with the

ANONYMOUS IPHONE MOBILE UPLOAD/ COURTESY PHOTO

Laura Flippin, at the Green Leafe, after arriving in Williamsburg on Friday night. Flippin spent most of her evening at the Leafe before heading to the Sunken Garden.

current students,” Flippin said. “Being drunk is the most important tradition to uphold as an undergraduate.”

Students seemed widely receptive to the generous donation from Flippin.

Although, they were confused about the artist chosen for the free concert.

“I know it’s free, but like doesn’t she

know we don’t like that band?” Eric Matthews ’13 said. “I don’t care if it’s free, if I don’t like the band what’s the point?”

Flippin left early Monday morning.

The delis were reported to be out of every type of alcoholic beverage until later in the week.

Lamar and Carter perform live

BY LIZZIE MCGUIRE FAT HEAD OMGLOLZ

When students found out that Aaron “Aaron’s Party” Carter was coming to campus, they freaked out. Everyone pretended like they were back in middle school again, and girls stood in line for hours just to get the chance to make out with him.

But when the Student Assembly also announced that they were spending an ungodly amount of money to bring Kendrick Lamar to campus, they didn’t know who to be more excited about. Including Lamar himself.

“Turns out Kendrick is a long-time fan of Aaron’s,” AMP Music Committee Chair Billip Pasnight ’13 said. “When Kendrick found out Aaron had already been to campus without his knowledge, he really wanted to invite him back.”

Lamar called Aaron “Crush on You” Carter as soon as he found out that he had performed at the College. Lamar extended an invitation to Aaron to return and perform with him live for his concert later in April.

“I was so nervous to talk to one of my main musical influences on the phone, and I was even more ecstatic when he agreed to do it,” Lamar said. “I have been dreaming of this moment since I started performing, and now the whole William and Mary student body will witness our musical harmony for the first time ever.”

Carter was equally enthused about the opportunity to return to Thrilliamsburg and to perform with Lamar.

“I just really can’t wait to get back to all of those college girls. There were so many I didn’t kiss during my first concert and live question and answer session.”

The artists will be performing together at the Matoaka Amphitheater on April 26, the night before the Last Day of Classes.

sportz :) SPORTZ IN BRIEFS

Expert Shagger Austin Powers Fab Five Chris Webber pantslessgriffinfolyfe@fatheadsportz.edu

The Fat Head | Noviembre 3, 1983 | Page </3

ANOTHER CLEVER “LAYCOCK” PUN

RANDOM SHIT Tribal Fever runs out of borderline racist things to say Tribal Fever president Joe Schmo ’13 announced a statement Wednesday stating that the organization — long known for verbally assualting opponents on a racial and classist basis — has officially run out of offensive things to say. They will likely resort to their old standby, yelling SAFETY SCHOOL” at any school that isn’t Harvard. Or us.

LeBron taking his talents to Williamsburg Miami Heat forward LeBron James announced that his nationally televised “THE DECISION” was actually a mistake. “I got my geography wrong — I wanted to come and play in front of the tens of thousands of passionate fans in Kaplan Arena. Screw Miami.”

Someone understands volleyball rules The William and Mary athletic department has apparently found someone who understands the rules of volleyball. Kills, digs, sets, points — it all suddenly makes sense!!!!!

Tribe vows to stay in CAA FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With the mass of exodus of teams out of the Colonial Athletic Association, including George Mason, VCU and ODU, William and Mary athletic director Terry Driscoll has suprisingly signed a 100 year commitment to the CAA. “Yeah, all of our rivals have left and the CAA is going down the shitter, but we will go down with this ship. That’s how we roll,” he said.

Mallory Schaffer breaks Flat Hat mentions record Women’s soccer player Mallory Schaffer has officially broken the Flat Hat record for number of times mentioned in a year. Is it because The Flat Hat doesn’t actually do research and figure out who else is on the team? Of course not!!!

QUINN McPROWL / THE FAT HEAD

Head coach / new starting quarterback Jimmye Laycock cracks a grin at the camera during football practice. His new number, “1693”, is a reference to his birth year. He, like Taylor Reveley, was born with the College.

Laycock names himself starting quarterback

BY THE GRIFFIN FAT HEAD MYTHICAL CREATURE

Desperate times, as they say, call for desperate measures.

Over the last two seasons, William and Mary has struggled with quarterback consistency with regard to injuries. The Tribe started three different quarterbacks last season, but all were sidelined at one point or another due to injury.

In order to combat this problem, head coach Jimmye Laycock came out Monday with a startling announcment:

He has found his newest starting quarterback and his name is ... Jimmye Laycock.

“After looking at the situation, I tried a few things. I asked R.J. Archer ’10 and Mike Callahan ’11 if they wanted to come back, but neither was really interested. I used to ball a little bit, and I really feel like the team needs me right now, so I’m going to give it a go,” Laycock said.

Laycock, who played quarterback for the College in the early 1970s under legendary coaches Marv Levy and Lou Holtz, is returning to the position 43 years after graduating in 1970.

“Yeah, it turns out that after looking at the NCAA rules,

I actually have one year of eligibility left, and I couldn’t think of a better time to use it than now. Use or it lose it, you know?” Laycock said.

Critics have questioned whether Laycock, 65 years young, still has the same explosiveness and velocity that he did back in the glory days.

“Oh, I’ve still got it. Just wait until we start playing next year. West Virginia, Villanova, Richmond...they won’t know to prepare. Back in the day, I was quite the accomplished QB. Nothing’s changed,” Laycock said.

See XXX page @#$%!

Merriam-Webster names ‘blens’ word of the year, Thornton thrilled

BY T-SHAVE FAT HEAD MOUSTACHE MAVEN

Merriam-Webster, the famed dictionary publisher, has announced its list of 2013 words of the year, and one William and Mary athlete is especially happy about it.

Sophomore guard Marcus Thornton — a killer three-point shooter by day and a Twitter fiend by night — has made the Merriam-Webster list with a word that has

taken the nation, and the Williamsburg community by storm.

So what’s the word? (haha punz) Blen.

Is it a hen? No. Is it an abbreviation for blender? No. Blen (n.): A slang word meaning ‘woman.’ Used most frequently to express disappointment or bewilderment concerning females.

Thornton was especially thrilled

TWAMP BRACKET

concerning the announcement.

“I’m jah like happy out here moe, smh,” Thornton said.

Thornton then went on to comment on blens the only way he knows how — in 140 characters or less...

“These blens just need to Do Better.

They always on the Gram, they have no chill, playing the Humble Games. If only they were on the Kobe System. Sheesh.

You’re Welcome,” Thornton said.

Ummm literally these boxes are always filler. We are just too damn lazy to write extra things in our storiezzzzzzzzzz He then went on to tweet pictures of Cam Newton sighing, Kevin Hart making weird faces, Kobe Bryant being Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook being a fool.

Alright, let’s be real. This is the only reason you’re reading The Fat Head (Williamburg’z Newz Leader): The TWAMP Bracket. Are you the TWAMPiest TWAMP they eva wuz? Possibly. But let’s be real, if you didn’t live in Nicholson Hall in ’09-’10, you have about a 10% chance of appearing on the bracket becuz we is biased. Moral of the story? You need to be a Nicholson resident or mythical creature (or both) to make the bracket. Bam.