The Georgia Straight - Paul Shaffer - February 10, 2022

FREE | FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

Volume 56 | Number 2817

HOUSING VIRGINS

Surprising stats on buyers

VALENTINE’S DAY Food, wine, and movies

PAUL SHAFFER After a long and storied career in music, television, and film, the legendary Canadian bandleader is getting ready for his first gigs with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra

By Steve Newton

ITALIAN OPERA • SANKOFA FILM FEST • COVID PROTESTS • LUNARFEST

HOUSING

RBC: Vancouver is no longer Canada’s most costly market

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CONTENTS 11

By Steve Newton

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HEALTH

Do provincial officials bear any responsibility for the rise of pro-COVID demonstrations in B.C.? Is it fair to even call these protests pro-COVID?

By Charlie Smith

16 This home on Woodland Drive recently sold for $2,298,000 after being listed at that price.

“Competition between buyers is as fierce as ever,” Hogue wrote.

Bidding wars “pushed prices to new heights”, bringing the composite benchmark to $1.26 million.

“In fact, the Toronto area has now become the priciest market in Canada, with its benchmark price surpassing that of the Vancouver-area ($1.255 million) for the first time in decades,” Hogue noted.

He also said that it’s not just detached homes but condos as well that have seen major increases in price.

“We see little that will materially alter these trends in the near term though expect that higher interest rates will gradually cool things down later this year,” Hogue stated.

Turning to Greater Vancouver, the RBC economist noted that “rock-bottom inventories continue to be a major irritant for buyers”.

“We expect tight demand-supply conditions will maintain considerable upward price pressure on all housing types in the near term,” Hogue wrote.

In his report, Hogue also noted that it previously seemed “unshakable” that Vancouver reigns supreme when it comes to top-dollar housing prices.

“It’s been so for such a long time (decades!) and by such a wide margin. Not anymore,” Hogue wrote. g

MUSIC

Burnaby saxophonist Cory Weeds has booked an array of his favourite jazz artists to perform at the Shadbolt Centre for the Arts.

By Steve Newton

e Start Here 12 ARTS 9 BEER 18 CLASSIFIED ADS 6 COMMENTARY 9 CONFESSIONS 7 FOOD 13 LUNARFEST 15 MOVIES 4 REAL ESTATE 17 SAVAGE LOVE 8 VALENTINE’S DAY e Listings 15 ARTS

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EDITOR Charlie Smith

SECTION EDITORS Mike Usinger (ESports/Liquor/Music) Steve Newton SENIOR EDITOR Martin Dunphy STAFF WRITERS Carlito Pablo (Real Estate) SOLUTIONS ARCHITECT Jeff Li

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e Online TOP 5

Here’s what people are reading this week on Straight.com.

1 2 3 4 5

Woman’s rant on the Freedom 2022 Convoy protest goes viral.

Group claims province is misleading the public about five-day isolation periods.

Aphrodite’s lists Kitsilano restaurant for sale but is keeping cherished pie shop.

MyZone Health offers fast delivery on its rapid antigen tests.

Woman rearrested following another stranger attack in Vancouver.

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GENERAL MANAGER Sandra Oswald

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COVER

Canadian music legend Paul Shaffer reflects on his career in entertainment before joining the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra for three nights.

by Carlito Pablo

ove over, Vancouver.

Toronto has edged out the western Canadian city as the country’s most expensive housing market.

RBC Economics reports that the Greater Toronto Area “took that crown” last month when the benchmark price for all residential properties in the eastern metropolis rose to $1.26 million.

This exceeded the typical price of $1.25 million in January 2022 in markets served by the Real Estate Board of Greater Vancouver, which do not include Surrey and others covered by the Fraser Valley board.

“It’s a stunning development though not entirely surprising considering how hot the Toronto-area market has become, especially since the fall,” RBC economist Robert Hogue wrote.

Based on a report by the Toronto Regional Real Estate Board, the exact figure for the composite benchmark price in January 2022 was $1,259,900.

The number represents a 33.29 percent annual increase.

In comparison, the benchmark price for all homes in Greater Vancouver in January 2022 was $1,255,200.

That figure means an 18.5 percent annual increase over January 2021.

In a February 4 report, Hogue noted that the benchmark price in the Greater Toronto Area “soared over the past five months, including a mind-blowing 4.3% monthly increase—or nearly $52,000—in January alone”.

“Vancouver prices have accelerated as well, just not to the same extent,” the economist stated.

Zeroing in on the Toronto metropolitan area, Hogue said that active home listings were down 44 percent year-over-year in January 2022 and “ended the month still near historical lows”.

February 10-17 / 2022

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REAL ESTATE

Outlaw mortgage broker penalized almost $100,000

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by Carlito Pablo

t’s payback time for a man who demonstrated “complete disregard” of mortgage regulations in B.C. Not only did Dean Frank James Walford operate as an unregistered mortgage broker, but he did so for many years— even after he was ordered to stop by the Registrar of Mortgage Brokers.

“Unregistered mortgage broker activity cannot be tolerated,” Cheryl Vickers wrote in her decision on penalty and costs.

Vickers ordered Walford to pay a total of $98,205.08 in penalties.

The sum includes the maximum allowable administrative fine of $50,000, as Walford showed “contempt for the regulatory scheme in place for the protection of the public”. Vickers is an appointee of the Registrar of Mortgage Brokers. Her decision on penalty and costs was published online on February 2 by the B.C. Financial Services Authority.

She noted that on September 12, 2011, the registrar issued a cease-and-desist order (CDO) to Loan Depot Canada (LDC) and Walford. The registrar ordered them to stop engaging in mortgage-broker ac-

tivity until they were registered under the Mortgage Brokers Act. However, Walford, who identified himself as president of LDC, carried on with his unregistered activity for about seven years.

Vickers recalled that this went into 2018. “The conduct in this case shows complete disregard for the regulatory scheme,” the registrar’s appointee noted.

Walford performed credit checks, created 114 mortgage applications of borrowers buying properties in B.C., and submitted 90 mortgage applications to lenders.

“Other than a last minute effort to adjourn the hearing,” Vickers wrote, “he disregarded the proceedings against him again demonstrating a failure on his part to recognize and acknowledge the seriousness of his actions and the regulatory scheme.”

Moreover, Vickers said, “There is no evidence before me that Mr. Walford has shown any remorse or engaged in any efforts of reconciliation.”

Last summer, Vickers rendered a decision on the merits of the case. In that ruling, she noted that LDC is a registered partnership in Nova Scotia. g

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A new report by real-estate marketer rennie, using B.C. Ministry of Finance figures, shows that purchases by first-time home buyers in Metro Vancouver rose each year from 2018 to 2021.

Metro Vancouver “property virgins” making their mark

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by Carlito Pablo

ore “property virgins” are getting into the Vancouver real-estate action.

A new report notes the rising number of successful first-time home buyers in Metro Vancouver.

The paper shows that completed home purchases by rookie property buyers have increased each year from 2018 to 2021. The report was released by rennie, a major real-estate marketing company based in Vancouver.

It relied on figures compiled by the B.C. Ministry of Finance.

The rennie report indicated that 5,602 first-time home buyers, or FTHBs, purchased properties in Metro Vancouver in 2021.

Last year’s number represents 10 percent more than the 5,114 figure in 2020. In addition, the 2021 tally of 5,602 was 19 percent higher than the average for 2018-2020.

The rennie report noted that there were 4,343 successful FTHBs in 2018, and 4,644 FTHBs in 2019.

Although the absolute numbers are rising, the share of home purchases by firsttime buyers of Vancouver real estate relative to the entire market declined in 2021.

From a market share of 8.8 percent in 2020, the ratio fell to 6.8 percent in 2021. In 2018, the share by FTHBs was 8.3 percent, and in 2019, it was 9.6 percent.

“And while 2020’s FTHB share was below the 9.6% of 2019, it was higher than 2018’s 8.3%,” the rennie report stated.

The document continued, “So it’s un-

…activity in the presale market more or less mimicked this pattern…

– rennie report

ambiguous that FTHB purchasing participation, as a share of all sales, has recently dropped, though—at the risk of sounding pedantic—it’s a stretch to say FTHB participation is falling based on these data, as the FTHB share was more or less stable in the years 2018-2020.”

Moreover, the “data are clear in painting a picture of rising FTHBs throughout the region” in the resale market for Metro Vancouver real estate.

The rennie report also noted that “activity in the pre-sale market more or less mimicked this pattern”.

“Survey data that we’ve collected on FTHB participation in an increasingly active pre-sale market over the past few years (encompassing thousands of pre-sale transactions) shows FTHB shares remaining relatively stable (31% in 2019, 36% in 2020, and 31% in 2021),” the report stated. g

HEALTH

Dr. Henry and the rise of B.C.’s pro-COVID protests

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by Charlie Smith

n February 4, the Guardian published a remarkable story about several British scientists.

In front of the world, they admitted their errors in assessing how the COVID-19 virus is transmitted, the effectiveness of masks, and school closures.

We have not seen humility anywhere close to this level from the B.C. government.

On the second anniversary of the first COVID-19 diagnosis in B.C., Dr. Bonnie Henry and Adrian Dix were given an opportunity by a reporter to say what they might have done differently in responding to the pandemic.

“I’m not sure I’m at the point where regrets are what we need,” Henry said on January 28. Then she added a caveat about how major policy changes might have been communicated better.

Dix talked about how well B.C. had responded to the pandemic in comparison to other jurisdictions.

Neither of them uttered a word of sorrow for never seriously educating the public about the airborne nature of the disease and for not launching media campaigns emphasizing the importance of keeping windows open.

They had no regrets about not providing higher-quality masks to teachers and health-care workers who administered vaccines. There was not a concern expressed about spurning demands from educators for HEPA filters and carbondioxide monitors in classrooms.

They weren’t feeling bad about not taking significant amounts of time in their

Over the past 12 months, B.C.’s provincial health officer, Dr. Bonnie Henry, and Health Minister Adrian Dix have not launched advertising campaigns highlighting that COVID-19 is airborne.

lengthy and frequent media briefings to talk about scientific evidence suggesting that COVID-19 is a vascular disease that first presents as a respiratory ailment.

Nor did they express remorse about not driving home the point that COVID-19 has been associated with serious neurological problems.

The best that Henry could do was to declare that the Omicron variant is “not innocuous” on January 21 after highlighting for several weeks how it was considered to be milder than the Delta variant.

A week later, Henry didn’t express any sorrow for enraging some people by being photographed without a mask at a B.C. Lions game in August 2021. This was even after published research in peer-

reviewed journals had demonstrated that the COVID-19 virus can remain in the air.

So, naturally, the obstinacy of Dix and Henry in fessing up to any shortcomings led to another torrent of criticism over Twitter by their well-educated critics. Dix and Henry’s response to the question about regrets was reminiscent of the lyrics of “My Way”, written by Canadian Paul Anka and made memorable by Frank Sinatra.

Now, let’s move to the present. There were 91 reported deaths from COVID-19 in B.C. in the first week of February.

A February 8 update from the Ministry of Health also indicated that there are 986 people with COVID-19 in hospital and 146 in intensive care.

Yet as the official death toll continues

to mount at an alarming rate—91 in the first week of February—there were what were essentially pro-COVID demonstrations in Vancouver, Victoria, and Kelowna on February 5.

I use the phrase “pro-COVID demonstrations” because if you want all mandates dropped, including the wearing of masks, you’re endorsing the unimpeded spread of the disease across the province.

Therefore you are pro-COVID. (The term came from a Twitter user.)

These pro-COVID protests were attended by many sad and ignorant people who don’t have a clue what COVID-19 might do to their health.

Even more importantly, they have little idea of the potential impact of the virus on the health of anyone with asthma, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, cancer, and other serious diseases or anyone in their circle of acquaintances who is over the age of 50 or under the age of six months. They probably have no idea that those who were born prematurely are also at higher risk of serious complications from COVID-19.

That’s not just regrettable; it’s a disgrace. And if these so-called convoys turn into superspreader events that end up overrunning local hospitals with COVID-19 cases, the provincial government can only blame itself.

Maybe at that point, Dix and Henry would then express regrets for not being more forceful in highlighting the true nature of this illness. Just like the scientists who were quoted in the Guardian article earlier this month. g

Notable jump in COVID-19 child hospitalizations

by Charlie Smith

In the first three weeks of January, the number of children under 10 hospitalized with COVID-19 rose by 36 percent from the pandemic total until January 1, 2022. Photo by Atoms/Unsplash.

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nother 25 children under the age of 10 were hospitalized in B.C. due to COVID-19 in the week ending on January 22.

The numbers were revealed in the latest B.C. COVID-19 Situation Report published by the B.C. Centre for Disease Control.

It showed that since the start of the pandemic, 245 kids under 10 have been hospitalized with COVID-19. That was up from 220 in the previous week’s report.

Over the past three weeks, 65 children under 10 have been hospitalized in B.C. with the disease.

That marks a 36-percent increase in total hospitalizations of kids under 10 from the start of the pandemic in March 2020 to January 1, 2022.

Twenty of the 245 children hospitalized ended up in the intensive-care unit, with four of those occurring this month, according to the BCCDC reports. There have

been two deaths from COVID-19 among B.C. kids under 10 year of age.

In the week ending on January 22, nine youths and young adults from 10 to 19 were hospitalized with COVID-19 and one ended up in the intensive-care unit. Nobody between 10 and 19 years of age has died of COVID-19 in B.C. The number of child and youth hospitalizations in B.C. has so far fallen short of a very rough estimate offered by University of Toronto health researcher Colin Furness in a discussion with a group called Protect Our Province B.C. on January 6. He suggested that based on U.S. child and youth hospitalizations, as many as 800 B.C. children and youths could be hospitalized over a one-month period from January 6.

There are still two weeks to go in the reporting periods to determine if Furness’s admittedly “back of the envelope” calculation will prove to be accurate. g

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

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COMMENTARY

Colbert takes aim at the Freedom Convoy fools

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by Mike Usinger

anna find out who’s who on your Twitter feed, Facebook page, or Pinterest account? Write something, anything, and then hashtag it with the pretty clever #FluTruxKlan. Before you can say “Karen Konvoy”, you’ll find yourself unfollowed, sometimes by those you could have sworn you were a little, um, less batshit-crazy than the average anti-vaxxer.

Before we go any further, including delving into the February 3 edition of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, a couple of minor things. The first is, if you support everything from the right to abortion to the right to go to school naked, say “fuck” in front of your mom, or walk into a deli and urinate on the cheese, then you’ve got to respect the rights of your fellow Canadians to reject the jab. (Also, a gold star if you got the reference there.)

No one wants someone telling them what to do, including you. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a good reason for pushing shots one, two, and three on your fellow Canadians. Like, for example, making sure there’s a bed in the hospital that

The host of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert questioned why Canadians waved Confederate flags in a country that cannot secede from a nation to which it doesn’t belong. Photo by Viacom.

isn’t taken up by a comatose unvaxxed COVID-19 clown when your anger at the

#FluTruxKlan leads to you having an aneurysm while watching the news.

The rules here are simple. Your body, your rules. Their bodies, their rules. You can shake your head and wonder what that anti-vax idjit would have done during the polio epidemic, but you can’t have it both ways.

both sides of the border. Try pulling this shit in front of the White House, and see how long your road-hockey game lasts.

What’s that? You can’t get across the border, not to mention service at the local Ottawa Tim Hortons, or into the gas station to take a dump because you’re unvaxxed? Well, that’s your choice. Your body, your rules, your choice. Live with it.

Rewinding to the top of this page for a second, what the fuck even is Pinterest, and why is it completely useless? Hands up if you’ve lost count of the times you’ve gone looking for a recipe for sumac-pomegranate lima beans, clicked on a link, and found yourself looking at a Pinterest page that lists no ingredients or instructions, but instead offers a photo with the word “Yummy” underneath it.

Anyway, back to the folks currently turning the streets of Ottawa into an Eastern Canadian version of Strathcona Park circa 2020.

In one corner, you’ve had Donald Trump declaring Canada’s Karen Konvoy cretins the greatest thing since the freedom fighters of January 6. Famed humanitarian Donald Trump Jr. meanwhile posted glowing endorsements on Facebook.

The #FluTruxKlan cabal hasn’t, meanwhile, gone unnoticed on the left. On February 3, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert took aim at Canada’s tireless freedom fighters.

…ask yourself what exactly you’re hoping to achieve by squatting…in what’s become a tent city on wheels.

– Mike Usinger

As for those who are convinced that vaccines are part of a corporate conspiracy by big pharma to do Christ Jesus knows what, some rules also apply. Stop pissing on the CanadianTomb of the Unknown Soldier, defiling Terry Fox’s statue, and abusing the staff at Ottawa homeless shelters because you’re hungry and forgot to pack a lunch when you left Fuckwitville, Alberta for Ottawa in your mudsplattered pickup truck.

And, while you’re at it, ask yourself what exactly you’re hoping to achieve by squatting on the streets in what’s become a tent city on wheels. Because the last time anyone checked, the vaccination rules for truckers (90 percent of whom are vaxxed, and actually drive trucks) are the same on 6

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

Host Stephen Colbert wondered why Canadians have been waving Confederate f lags in a country that can’t secede from a nation that it doesn’t belong to.

He also applauded truckers for turning their backs on Spotify to spread COVID misinformation on CB radio.

And then remember that you have no right to insist that your fellow Canadians get vaxxed. But you have every right to insist they keep out of your coffee shop, stay away from your book club meetings, and go play road hockey somewhere they’ll be more welcome. Like Anusville, Alberta.

PS Love you all, no matter what your status.

PPS #unfollowed. There. Did it for you. g

VALENTINE’S DAY DINING

Metro Vancouver restaurants offer love-day feasts

by Charlie Smith

Brant Lake Wagyu Tenderloin Surf and Turf. For dessert, there’s Heart of Victor, which is a chocolate-and-caramel pastry with fresh berries and vanilla mascarpone Chantilly. It’s enough to get anyone to forget about the pandemic for a few minutes.

WINSTON

Feast in West Vancouver is offering Panna Cotta for dessert, including gluten-free and vegan options; at another North Shore restaurant, Winston, in the Lower Lonsdale neighbourhood, the Valentine’s Day appetizer options include Kale & B.C. Endive Salad, Cold Cut Beef Digital, and Kohlrabi Gomae.

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alentine’s Day has arrived, and just in time for many local restaurateurs. It’s been a brutal couple of years for them, for obvious reasons—and there’s nothing like a little love in the air to get couples in the mood for a romantic meal. There are scores of worthwhile choices. Below, we’ve highlighted five of them in four different municipalities.

FEAST

2423 Marine Drive, West Vancouver Owner Geoffroy Roulleau worked at several Parisian restaurants with world-class chefs before moving to Canada in 2010, later opening Boulevard Kitchen & Oyster Bar as the assistant director with chef Alex Chen. At his West Vancouver eatery, Feast, there’s an option of going with the threecourse Valentine’s Day menu at $85 per person from February 11 to 13, but it’s the only choice on the 14th. Wine pairing is available for an additional $45. For the first course, there are three options: Wagyu Beef Tartare, Dungeness Crab Salad, or Harvest Salad for vegetarians. That’s followed up with either Cured Duck Breast, Pan-Seared Sablefish, or Potato Gnocchi for the main. Panna Cotta is served for dessert, with gluten-free and vegan options.

H TASTING LOUNGE

1601 Bayshore Drive This Valentine’s Day meal at this popular spot in the Westin Bayshore is a little pricier than some of the others mentioned here. But, hey, you get your own private garden dome, which can certainly enhance one’s comfort level in the midst of a pandemic. The sixcourse Valentine’s Day dinner is $140 per person with optional wine pairings at $70 each. But there’s a catch—the minimum spend is $500 per table, excluding taxes and tips, so you might need to bring a third or

fourth person. Of course, you can also book a room at $247 per night, with a $50 hotel credit. So, what’s on the menu? A whole lot of things, including Beef Wellington, Dungeness Crab-Crusted Halibut, or Saffron Risotto for the main course. Appies include Kusshi Oyster Duo, Burrata Panzanella Salad, and Lobster Bisque. And for dessert, Valentine’s Day diners can include Baked Alaska. The forecast calls for rain, so maybe it’s worth splurging for one of those domes.

HART HOUSE RESTAURANT

6664 Deer Lake Avenue, Burnaby There’s something romantic about enjoying a Valentine’s Day dinner with your sweetie in a Tudor mansion. So it’s no wonder that Hart House Restaurant by Burnaby’s Deer Lake has become such a favourite on this day over the years. The 2022 edition features a four-course meal for $88 per person, with sufficient physical distancing to keep Dr. Bonnie Henry happy. It begins with Albacore Tuna Tartare as an amuse bouche, followed by first-course options of Basque Style Seafood Soup, Homemade Pork Terrine, or Roasted Beet Salad. The midcourse offering is Wild Mushroom–Stuffed Ravioli, followed by four main-course options: Sous Vide Beef Strip Loin, Confit Duck Leg, Seared Sablefish, or Winter Vegetable Risotto. Diners can finish things off with either Basque Country Cheesecake or Warm Chocolate Cake.

Victor is offering three courses for $105 per person, which can be paired with wine for an additional $69. The appetizer options are Jerusalem Artichoke Velouté, Japanese Hamachi Tiradito, and Foie Gras Torchon.

There are also three mains: Winter Black Truffle Cannelloni, Chilean Sea Bass, and

228 Lonsdale Avenue, North Vancouver Lower Lonsdale has emerged as a dining hot spot in recent years. So if you’re in the neighbourhood between February 11 and 14, Winston chef Douglas Lee has created an unusual four-course Valentine’s Day menu at $65 per person. It includes three choices for the first course: Kale & B.C. Endive Salad, Cold Cut Beef Digital, and Kohlrabi Gomae.

Turnip Baconator and Smashed Sunchoke are the two options for the second course, followed by either Nine Finger Cavatelli or 99 Hour Smoked Pork Neck Ssam for the main. Desserts consist of strawberry confit— billed as Strawberry to the Fifth Power—or a Quenelle of Bubblegum Streusal. To Winston’s credit, it opened right before the pandemic, in February 2020, and has managed to remain in business, thanks in part to its emphasis on farm-to-table dining and its partnerships with many local suppliers. g

For Your

Valentine

Made in Italy

THE VICTOR

39 Smithe Street Never eaten at the Parq Vancouver? Well, the Victor is no ordinary casino eatery, thanks in part to executive chef Garett Blundell. He earned his spurs creating West Coast cuisine at the Brentwood Bay Lodge and followed that up with a stint at celebrity Gordon Ramsay’s now-shuttered maze in London. For Valentine’s Day, the

1366 Nanaimo Street | 604.254.7020

w w w.sanmarcojewellers.com FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

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VALENTINE’S DAY

Romance for adults: wine, rom-com, and takeout

by Rachel Moore

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If opposites attract, then Henry Golding and Constance Wu in the 2018 film Crazy Rich Asians (above) is the perfect Valentine’s Day pairing with Road 13’s red-and-white (Syrah/Viognier) wine set.

pplying makeup for an hour before cramming into a skintight dress is definitely not how we want to spend this Valentine’s Day. Instead, we’re looking forward to uncorking a bottle of wine whilst wearing a sweatsuit combo worthy of a spot on What Not to Wear.

For adults, the Hallmark holiday has become an excuse to relax with a glass of wine in one hand and a box of Chinese takeout in the other.

Since we’ve been in close proximity with our significant others for the entire pandemic, there’s not a whole lot to talk about anymore. Watching a romantic movie together is a wonderful way to avoid bombarding your partner with hypothetical questions or sparking a nonsensical argument.

Since 2022 is off to a rocky start, we’ve saved you the trouble of researching B.C. wines that will delight your taste buds while Will Smith delights your eyes. Before your trip to the nearby liquor store on February 14, check out these five wine and rom-com pairings.

RED BARN WINERY’S 2019 SILENT PARTNER CABERNET FRANC/HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS

Nothing goes better with a sophisticated Cabernet Franc than a film about an advice columnist writing on how to get a man to leave you in 10 days. You can sip on this medium-bodied, earthy Cab Franc with tasting notes of mixed berry jam and plum while watching Kate Hudson lose her shit over a “love fern”.

Red Barn, a winery in the Okanagan Valley, produces wines that encompass the unique flavours and smells from the 8

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surrounding environment. Its Silent Partner Cabernet Franc is dry with a long finish and bell pepper–like flavours, sharing the same intensity as a dark red wine. If you’re ordering delivery for dinner, we suggest pairing this savoury B.C. wine with hamburgers topped with blue cheese.

We promise that this bottle of Cab Franc will be empty by the time that the unbelievably charming Matthew McConaughey takes his shirt off.

LIQUIDITY’S 2019 DIVIDEND/ FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

This full-bodied red blend is a combination of Merlot from Blind Creek Vineyard in the Similkameen, Cabernet Franc from Oliver’s Golden Mile Bench, and Cabernet Sauvignon from Okanagan Falls. Liquidity’s 2019 Dividend features hints of vanilla and a rich palate with fruity flavours like black currant and black cherry.

The wine’s delightful, complex taste pairs perfectly with what is arguably one of the best romantic comedies to ever exist: Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

The chemistry between heartbroken Peter Bretter (Jason Segel) and the lady whom he meets on his Hawaiian vacation, Rachel Jansen (Mila Kunis), is one of a kind.

Because it was coproduced by Judd Apatow, the film has impeccable comedic timing, sex jokes, and a generous amount of profanity.

Hamburgers, charcuterie, cheesy pastas, or a large quattro formaggi pizza will complement this red blend.

THE 2020 PINOT GRIS FROM VALLEY COMMONS/VALENTINE’S DAY

Few things—other than topless romcom hunks—get us more excited than a refreshing, fruit-forward wine with an

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

aesthetically pleasing label. This 2020 Pinot Gris has distinct tasting notes of apricot, honey, and pineapple, making it an exemplary match with the ever-so-sweet film Valentine’s Day. The lighthearted flick follows several interconnected love stories and boasts a big-name cast that includes Jessica Alba, Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, and Taylor Swift.

Valley Commons winery has its own vineyard in Fort Langley, but it also partners with farmers throughout the South Okanagan.

Call us “classless”, but we love pairing Pinot Gris with Nando’s flame-grilled peri-peri chicken. If you have time to cook a meal at home, we recommend pairing the crisp white wine with rustic vegetables, marinated mushrooms, and grilled fish.

EVOLVE’S 2018 MOMENTO/HITCH

This new release from Evolve was created to unite friends and is a velvety blend of Merlot, Cabernet Franc, and Syrah. Each wine was aged in American and French oak barrels for two years before being carefully combined.

When sipping on a glass of 2018 Momento, you’ll recognize blackberry, black cherry, raspberry, and plum f lavours. The red blend is easy to enjoy and unpretentious, which is why we think it pairs well with the cinematic masterpiece that is Hitch, starring Kevin James and Eva Mendes.

Total hottie and powerhouse actor Will Smith plays Alex “Hitch” Hitchens, a selfproclaimed “date doctor” who teaches men how to charm women. It’s hilarious, heartwarming, and will leave you feeling hopeful if you have yet to find love.

When it comes to dinner, order a funghi

alfredo with a side of garlic sauce from Pizza Garden and call it a night.

ROAD 13’S PERFECT PAIR SET/CRAZY RICH ASIANS

If there’s a better pair than Rachel Chu (Constance Wu) and Nick Young (Henry Golding), it’s the Road 13 2019 Viognier and 2018 Syrah. These two wines comprise the winery’s Valentine’s Day gift set and will keep your partner preoccupied while you slip into something more comfortable—and by that, we mean a grubby Tshirt from 1998.

Road 13 is located in the heart of the South Okanagan and is known for producing f lavourful wines that fuse nature and science.

The 2019 Viognier is described by its maker as “complex in the right ways”— which we find triggering, as we’ve been called the opposite a handful of times.

Pear, quince, and papaya form it’s delicate, fruit-forward aroma. Upon your first sip, you’ll discover tasting notes of vanilla bean, caramelized apple, and pear with a subtle citrus finish.

Like all Viogniers, this well-balanced wine should be served with roasted chicken or grilled seafood.

The 2018 Syrah from Road 13 is quite different in comparison to its companion, but everyone knows that opposites attract.

We find the incredibly attractive couple in Crazy Rich Asians to be a textbook example of this dynamic.

This full-bodied wine features tasting notes of cooking spices, black cherry, and smoky oak. Because Syrah is such a food-friendly wine, we recommend pairing it with a meat-heavy meal or grilled eggplant. g

BEER

Some beers seem a perfect fit for movie nights

by Mike Usinger

INNIS & GUNN CHERRY KRIEK

Scotland is known for many things on these shores, including but not limited to: kilts, bagpipes, haggis, and the Loch Ness Monster. (That 90 percent of Scottish folks don’t wear kilts, play the bagpipes, eat haggis, or believe in the Loch Ness Monster is entirely beside the point). While cherries aren’t usually associated with the likes of Robbie Burns, Rob Roy, and Robert the Bruce, they are most certainly a thing in the land that’s given us Sean Connery, Shirley Manson, and William “Groundskeeper Willie” MacDougal.

Innis & Gunn’s Cherry Kriek starts with fruit picked in an orchard just down

Scan to conffess Beers made for James Bond, ghost stories, and Rob Roy include (clockwise from left) Main St. Brewing ‘s Double or Nothing IPA, Shadow Play Dark Ale, and Innis & Gunn’s Cherry Kriek.

I

f you’re looking for something to bind the following beers together, think vaguely cinematic, at least in spirit.

Cue up Rob Roy, any Bond film starring Daniel Craig, or A Ghost Story, pop a cap or a tab, and get ready to lose yourself in another world.

MAIN ST. BREWING DOUBLE OR NOTHING IPA

Give Main Street Brewing a round of applause for not only spinning a good backstory, but in the tradition of the folks behind the James Bond franchise, keeping a good thing going. Double or Nothing’s beginnings spring from the adventures of Holly Hoppington, the brewery’s fictional special “I.P. Agent”, who supposedly sourced the ingredients for last fall’s spy-themed beers Norwegian Rendezvous and Trouble Weighs A ’Tun. A sequel of sorts, Double or Nothing IPA (inspired by last fall’s winning 007 flick No Time to Die) has a plot synopsis that goes like this: “Main St.’s latest seasonal series pits the plucky fictional IPAgent against evil henchmen and nefarious villains in a variety of European locales as she races against time to secure secret recipes and essential ingredients.”

Exotic-sounding right? Those expecting a hop-wars nuclear option are looking in the wrong place, as Double or Nothing is light on the bitterness and bursting with grapefruit and pineapple action. Add a double-honeyed finish with a pleasing malt undertow, and you’re immediately

left wishing for a sequel. No problem there as Hoppington is already headed back into action for Main St.’s upcoming spy-themed release That Sinking Feeling Italian Pilsner.

STANLEY PARK SHADOW PLAY DARK ALE

Famous for its inspiring beauty—the spectacular seawall, towering trees, and sandy swimming beaches—Stanley Park has a lesser-known dark side. Do a little research (which is to say hop on amyscrypt. com) and according to first-name-only San Francisco-based ghost hunter Amy, Vancouver’s crown jewel has numerous haunted sites.

For the ghoulishly inclined, ghosts reportedly make regular appearances at the Vancouver Rowing Club (where early Chinese residents buried their dead on the shoreline), Lion’s Gate Bridge (riptides have taken countless victims), and Deadman’s Island (famous as an early city morgue).

All this makes Stanley Park Brewing’s Shadow Play Dark Ale a no-brainer to reach for the next time you’re stumbling around Vancouver’s largest urban forest during the witching hour.

While described as a medium amber brown, appearance-wise you’ll be pouring what Spinal Tap might describe as nonemore-black. The high-carbonation factor makes Shadow Play unmistakable as an ale, but taste-wise it’s not far off from a robust coffee porter, complete with Kahlua and burnt orange-peel undertones. Don’t forget to crack one open for the ghosts.

the road from the Scottish distillery, after which the beer spends three months maturing in oak casks. If you’re a long-time Innis & Gunn fan then you already know the wood makes it good, and you’ll definitely pick up on the warm oak as well as subtle vanilla here.

Innis & Gunn Cherry Kriek is decidedly low-key on the fruit front—subtly tart, elegant, and almost wine-like. That makes for a refreshing sipper that’s surprisingly understated, making it something you wouldn’t expect from the big-and-bold land of deep-fried Mars bars, highland dancing, and a towering medieval castle on every second street-corner. g The Georgia Straight Confessions, an outlet for submitting revelations about your private lives—or for the voyeurs among us who want to read what other people have disclosed.

Neverland I moved to Vancouver to escape all my coupled friends having kids, buying houses, and growing up. I grew up anyway but now lack the equity of partnership, family, and home. I continue living in a purgatory where I never take off and I never land.

Friend’s pain Supposed to keep quiet about a friend. On the outside, they look so successful. House, wife, kids career, successful friends and a tight family. But he’s faking it. He’s in love with someone else, someone poor who would tarnish his rep. He compares it to a bad addiction, but he’s miserable where he is. He’s that much in love and the worst part is it’s been going on for a decade. Ten years of quiet indecision and I feel helpless. It’s like watching him dies slowly inside, and I can’t help. I can’t get advice either because it’ll blow the secret and I promised to keep my mouth shut.

Confession I slept with someone years ago and then later on found out through social media that she got pregnant. She never told me.

A writer wanted fame He had a band that could’ve gone places but that’s in the past. His attempts to write, while good, have largely gone unnoticed. His ex was perfect and doesn’t want him back. As he approaches his forties, he now gains his followers by way of Tinder. Perhaps, this is happiness for him but it isn’t exactly what he had planned. He may never understand why.

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to post a Confession FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

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BOOKS

Author reveals resilience of interned Jewish artists

B

by Charlie Smith

estselling U.S. novelist Meg Waite Clayton learned many things while researching her eighth book, The Postmistress of Paris.

Her main character, the wealthy adventurer Nanée, was partially inspired

by Chicago heiress Mary Jayne Gold. She worked with journalist Varian Fry to save about 2,000 Jewish artists and intellectuals in France.

Clayton not only had to dig into the details of this extraordinary Second World War rescue mission, she also needed to learn about French internment camps where Jews were imprisoned after fleeing Germany.

“For example, at Camp des Milles, there were artists and writers and musicians,” Clayton tells the Straight by phone. “And so even in this old brick factory, where the brick dust was so thick that it made the floor lumpy to walk on and it filled their lungs, they still created art.”

One of her characters, Edouard Moss, is a Jewish photographer from Germany who is being kept in Camp des Milles. Clayton points out that even under such gruelling conditions, the inmates created a cabaret in an underground cavern that was once a kiln.

“They wrote plays and performed them,” Clayton adds. “They wrote operas and performed them. It was really inspiring—the fortitude of people in those circumstances—and the way art and literature and the creation of it carries people through difficult times.”

Clayton praises historian Donna F. Ryan’s 1996 book The Holocaust & the Jews of Marseille: The Enforcement of Anti-Semitic Policies in Vichy France for helping her understand what took place in those years.

After the invasion in 1940, the Nazis ruled northern France and the Atlantic coastline to Spain. Southern France was ruled by a new French government in Vichy, which cooperated with Germany in rounding up Jews, many of whom were later murdered in Auschwitz.

But these internment camps for fleeing German Jews were actually set up before the invasion—a testament to the degree of antisemitism in France at the time. Camp des Milles, now a museum in southern France, is where 10,000 people of 38 different nationalities were interned from 1939 to 1942.

The character Nanée takes extraordinary risks to save Jews in the face of this.

Among those whom Mary Jayne Gold

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For All Time: the Shakespeare First Folio is co-organized by the University of British Columbia and the Vancouver Art Gallery and is curated by Dr. Gregory Mackie, Associate Professor, Department of English Language and Literatures and Katherine Kalsbeek, Head, Rare Books and Special Collections, UBC Library Image Credit: Yangos Hadjiyannis, at Kre.is Immersive

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FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

Media Partners

U.S. writer Meg Waite Clayton’s newest novel, The Postmistress of Paris, shines a light on the bravery of those who opposed the Nazis in southern France during the Second World War.

helped save in southern France were artist Marc Chagall, writer Hannah Arendt, and Nobel Prize– winning biochemist Otto Meyerhof.

“With the exception of Edouard Moss, the artists and writers named in the novel, including André and Jacqueline Breton and Max Ernst, are based on real people,” Clayton writes in an author note and acknowledgements.

“The depictions here are meant to honor those involved in these rescues, but all, including Varian Fry, are to some extent a product of my imagination.”

Clayton is drawn to historical fiction because the research helps get her into the world that she’s about to create before she even starts writing.

She likens creating a novel to writing a marathon. The former lawyer didn’t start writing until she was in her 30s—and even then only after growing up as a huge reader.

“If you woke up in the morning and you had never run and you said, ‘Okay, I’m going to get up and run a marathon,’ you would never finish it,” she says.

“For writing, I just get up every morning and I sit down and I write,” she adds.

“I write word after word after word and it eventually becomes a novel.”

As she works her first draft, she tries not to look back and judge what she has done because she feels that she can do this in later drafts.

“Often, I don’t know until I get to the end of a novel what it’s about, what needs to be brought up, what needs to be cut, and

even what I need to know,” Clayton admits. “I try to be kind to myself and not have expectations. And that works for me.”

Clayton doesn’t feel that there have been enough stories about the courage of women in the Second World War, which is one reason why she wrote The Postmistress of Paris. And in this instance, she was driven to complete the book by one woman in particular: her mother.

In the fall of 2020, Clayton’s mom, Anne Tyler Waite, was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. That prompted Clayton to call her agent for the first time ever to warn that she might not meet her deadline.

But Clayton also really wanted her mother to see the book. Fortunately, Clayton’s editor, Sara Nelson, agreed to read a “pretty raw first draft” and worked with her on a weekly basis to finish it on schedule.

“The first galley that went to anybody went to my mom,” Clayton reveals.

Sadly, her father died a few weeks after that, but he was able to read her dedication to her mother. Clayton says that her mother is still alive, “thanks to the miracles of modern medicine”.

“I would like to emphasize it’s a very optimistic book,” she states. “The San Francisco Chronicle called it ‘Casablanca if Rick had an artsy bent’.” g Meg Waite Clayton will speak at the 2022 Cherie Smith JCC Jewish Book Festival: the virtual edition at 8 p.m. on Wednesday (February 9).

ARTS

Paul Shaffer reflects on a musical life well lived

S

by Steve Newton

ometimes it’s the little things in life that matter. Or the stories behind them.

Like Paul Shaffer’s barely noticeable appearance in the 1988 Christmas comedy Scrooged. At one point in the film, Shaffer is seen performing in a New York City street band, playing keyboards along with saxophonist David Sanborn, guitarist Larry Carlton, and trumpet legend Miles Davis. The quartet is shown briefly playing a bit of “We Three Kings” as Bill Murray’s Scrooge-like character blusters by, insulting them as he goes.

“Only about six seconds of it appeared in the movie,” Shaffer recounts on the phone from his Big Apple home, “but we’d gotten to do a whole six-minute version of it in the studio, a couple of nights before we shot it, and, boy, was that a thrill. Because Miles just, in a most wonderful way, took over and arranged it in his style, and it was like a million-dollar music lesson for me, watching him work. He was very supportive of me and he knew I was not really well-versed in his style of music, but I sure learned a lot that evening.”

The Toronto-born Shaffer—who will perform with the Vancouver Symphony from February 10 to 12—has a million such memories from his fabled career. Many of them can be found in his 2009 memoir, We’ll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives: A Swingin’ Showbiz Saga. As for where it all started, the 72-year-old’s earliest recollection of music involves his mom playing piano at home.

“They always had music in the house, purposely, for my sake,” Shaffer says.

“Classical music and Broadway music, and my dad loved the great jazz singers: Sarah Vaughan, Billy Eckstine. And I remember being underneath the piano when my mother was playing. Then when I turned six, that was when my mom said, ‘Now’s the time to start lessons.’ My parents were the type that said, ‘That kid is going to play the piano if it’s the last thing he does.’

“So I started lessons, but as soon as I had one lesson, I started figuring out stuff that I could play by ear. I noticed that you could play ‘William Tell Overture’ all on black keys—just one white key. So right after my first lesson, it started to make sense. And I didn’t realize that my love of music had begun, but I was just sort of drawn to it.

And then when I heard rock ’n’ roll, obviously, that was it.”

Perhaps surprisingly, the historic stateside arrival of those four lads from Liverpool wasn’t what first inspired Shaffer to pursue a career in music.

“So many people, especially here in the States—professional musicians, friends of mine, and older guys too—say, ‘I became a musician when I saw the Beatles on Ed

After decades making music for Saturday Night Live and being David Letterman’s bandleader, Paul Shaffer has played with more stellar musicians than most anyone. And he’s not done yet.

And then when I heard rock ’n’ roll, obviously, that was it.

– Paul Shaffer

Sullivan.’ But we Canadians, I think...I don’t know, we knew about the Brits, we were used to them. We loved American music; at least that was my feeling. I loved American music. The Four Seasons—I was still reeling from their appearance [on Ed Sullivan] when the Beatles came on. It took me a minute to get the Beatles, to tell you the truth. But I loved Jackie Wilson; I loved ‘A Hundred Pounds of Clay’ by Gene McDaniels. And R & B attracted me very early; I don’t know why.”

Most people know Shaffer best from his lengthy stint as bandleader and musical director for David Letterman’s talk shows, Late Night With David Letterman (which ran from 1982 to 1993 on NBC) and Late Show With David Letterman (1993 to 2015, on CBS). The day before our chat was ac-

tually the 40th anniversary of his first show with Letterman, which he says was an honour and a privilege to do for 33 years but also—especially for its final decade—quite exhausting. He points to the performance

by James Brown in the show’s early days as the biggest musical highlight for him.

“He was one of the first guys to do it,” he recalls. “He heard me playing his music with my band, going in and out of commercials, and his agent called and said he wants to come on and do it. And I never thought I’d be playing with James Brown, you know. He was my absolute idol since I saw him in something called the T.A.M.I. Show—the initials stood for something that nobody even knew. It was his first performance in front of a mass audience, and I never got over it. Me and my band, all four of us, were on top of the world for months after that.”

Late-night TV watchers may also remember Shaffer for his pre-Letterman days with Saturday Night Live. One of the recurring skits he was involved with in the ’70s was Nick the Lounge Singer, featuring future Scrooged star Murray.

“I was part of a group of writers who would put this together every time he did it, Billy leading the way, of course. This group included Danny Aykroyd, who appeared in almost every one of those scenes, usually as a sort of a caretaker if it was a ski

lodge that Nick was performing in. Lots of laughter and lots of contributions, but Billy always picked the songs, ‘cause he knew what was gonna be funny.”

Shaffer was still in his 20s when his fleet fingers started tickling the ivories as a member of the SNL house band. But he isn’t concerned about any physical challenges that might come with performing as a septuagenarian.

“You know, Arthur Rubinstein played into his 90s,” he reasons. “It’s not the fingers, so to speak. As long as you practise—and I’ve been practising, I’ll have you know. I’ve been practising up for Vancouver for sure. But certainly in a rock ’n’ roll context, I get on-stage thinking that I can just scream and dance like I always have, and it turns out I can—but only for 30 seconds.

“But this is the kind of show that I’m not gonna have any problems with,” he promises, “and it’s all songs that I love. You’re 72 and you start to hear these songs and you feel about 20.”

Shaffer and the VSO will perform for a live audience at the Orpheum on February 11 and 12, offering a setlist of pop and R & B numbers that will include tunes by Barry White and a rendition of the Verve’s 1997 chartbuster “Bitter Sweet Symphony”.

They will be joined by Motown vocalist and composer Valerie Simpson—who, with her late husband Nick Ashford, wrote such R & B classics as “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and “I’m Every Woman”— for a selection of her songs. One highlight of the show will surely be the performance of “It’s Raining Men”, the 1982 dance hit by the Weather Girls that Shaffer cowrote with Paul Jabara.

Shaffer hasn’t spent a lot of time in Vancouver, but he remembers being here during Expo 86, when he attended a state dinner with Prince Charles and Lady Diana present. (“That was my introduction to Vancouver,” he quips, “not bad.”) This time around, he’ll be the one getting the royal treatment, at an online Vancouver Symphony gala on February 10. The livestreamed fundraiser will see him receiving the VSO’s first annual Gold Baton Award, which, according to a news release, “has been created by the VSO to recognize, honour, and offer gratitude to Canadian musical icons whose work has been transformative.”

“Well, I’m humbled,” Shaffer says of the bestowal. “Don’t know what else to say. I mean, I’m the inaugural recipient, too.

Let’s just say I’m gonna start working on my speech tonight.” g Paul Shaffer performs with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra at an online gala on February 10 and at the Orpheum Theatre, with vocalist Valerie Simpson, on February 11 and 12.

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

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FEB

11/12

ARTS

Paul Shaffer Live!

Full-bodied Cavalleria lures Darlington back to Vancouver

Fri, Sat, 8pm | Orpheum

THIS WEEKEND!

by Charlie Smith

Paul Shaffer, former music director to David Letterman, shares symphonic renditions of his favourite pop, R&B, and jazz tunes plus anecdotes and reminiscences from a remarkable career.

•

Paul Shaffer

Hear it. Feel it.

Thunderbird by Doug Lafortune, Coast Salish | Courtesy of Native Northwest

FEB

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Carnival of OUR Animals Sun, 2pm | Orpheum

KIDS CONCERT! A special collaboration with the VSO Indigenous Council presents a new take on Saint-Saëns’s famed composition and adds new music inspired by animals of the Pacific Northwest.

Mozart & Brahms* FEB

Fri, Sat, 8pm | Orpheum

18–20 Sun, 7pm | Bell Centre, Surrey Be moved by Brahms’ Symphony No. 2, and the lightning virtuosity of the VSO Concertmaster, Nicholas Wright, and Principal Viola, Hung-Wei Huang, in Mozart’s Sinfonia Concertante.

Hung-Wei Huang

FEB

Nikki Chooi Plays Mendelssohn*

25/26 Fri, Sat, 8pm | Orpheum

Nikki Chooi

Internationally acclaimed violinist Nikki Chooi makes his VSO debut. Robert Schumann’s Symphony No. 2, and a new VSO co-commission

by Linda Catlin Smith are paired with BC-born Chooi’s performance of Mendelssohn’s exciting Violin Concerto in E minor.

*Note: Large symphonic pieces require more musicians on stage. To keep the musicians safe and provide increased physical distancing on stage, the VSO has changed the programming of its Feb 18-20, and Feb 25, 26 concerts.

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Concerts presented at 50% capacity, in adherence with Provincial Health Orders

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

Conductor Jonathan Darlington says Cavalleria rusticana was the first verismo opera, setting the stage for future classics such as Tosca and Turandot by Giacomo Puccini. Photo by Svetlana Loboff.

V

ancouver Opera music director emeritus Jonathan Darlington has witnessed the pandemic from many perspectives.

He has conducted in front of a full house in Oslo where none of the musicians wore masks. His shows in Dresden were cancelled before Christmas due to a high COVID-19 infection rate that closed all theatres in Saxony.

Darlington has also led orchestras in Paris and Hamburg, and he has even conducted them on productions without audiences.

“For me, personally, it’s been really, really difficult,” Darlington concedes in a phone interview with the Straight.

The multilingual conductor is back in B.C. for a short period to conduct the Vancouver Opera orchestra and chorus in Cavalleria rusticana. The one-act opera by Pietro Mascagni appeals to Darlington because of its “red-hot, full-blooded music”. Giovanni Targioni-Tozzetti and Guido Menasci wrote the opera’s libretto, which is set in Sicily.

“I’m now, part of the time, living in Naples, so I have a kind of connection to southern Italy,” Darlington says prior to a rehearsal.

What sets Cavalleria rusticana apart, according to Darlington, is that it was the world’s first verismo opera, premiering in 1890 in Rome. In this type of production, “everyday life is put on-stage rather than having kings and queens and gods and goddesses,” he says. “So I think that very fact is really important.”

Moreover, were it not for Cavalleria rusticana, he argues, the career of one of the greatest Italian composers, Giacomo Puccini, may have unfolded somewhat differently.

“Puccini probably wouldn’t have written in the same way if he hadn’t known this piece and the relationship between the two composers wasn’t what it was,” Darlington says.

In particular, he points to Puccini’s Turandot and Tosca, which he describes as verismo operas of a very high calibre.

Being the first of its kind makes Cavalleria rusticana a “standout”. Plus, Darlington is impressed by the way Mascagni created interactions between the chorus and the protagonists, which he describes as “conversations that are happening”.

“I like to call it the orchestral carpet, which he lays down,” Darlington says.

“The orchestra is at one and the same time a commentator on what the singers are doing and partaker of the action. You have a free-flowing backward and forward, which is very interesting.”

The production features Othalie Graham as Santuzza, David Pomeroy as Turridu, Gregory Dahl as Alfio, Leah Field as Mama Lucia, and Hillary Tufford as Lola.

Due to B.C.’s pandemic restrictions, there’s a 50-percent seating capacity at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre.

“Obviously, the woodwinds and brass [musicians] can’t wear masks,” Darlington says. “Otherwise, they can’t play. All the strings [players] are masked. From country to country, it varies.”

In Oslo, he was tested every day. It’s two or three times a week in B.C. “In Paris, I was tested once a week, if I remember rightly,” Darlington adds. “In Hamburg, I was tested every five days.”

He’s only in B.C. for a brief stop, arriving on February 5 and returning to Europe on February 14. “I just have time to get over the jet lag and go home again,” he quips. g Vancouver Opera will present Cavalleria Rusticana in Concert on Saturday (February 12) evening and Sunday (February 13) afternoon at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre.

ARTS

by Charlie Smith

SANKOFA African A frican R Routes, outes, Canadian Canadian Roots Roots

November 4, 2021 – March 27, 2022

LunarFest lanterns light up Granville Island for New Year

The Forever Young exhibition of Lunar New Year lanterns at Ocean Art Works on Granville Island showcases the work of a diverse group of Indigenous and non-Indigenous artists.

V

ancouver mayor Kennedy Stewart is one of many fans of the annual LunarFest celebration in his city.

At the opening ceremony at Ocean Art Works on Granville Island, Stewart talked about what makes this festival unique.

“What struck me the first time I went to the lantern festival is that it was combining Indigenous and Asian art, which you’re not seeing anywhere else in the entire world,” Stewart said. “That is a unique export of what we’re doing here together.”

The free Lantern City exhibition, called Forever Young, is at Ocean Art Works, near the Granville Island Public Market, until February 21. On-site are several large lanterns covered with colourful artwork to bring in the Year of the Tiger.

They include Indigenous Taiwanese artist Pacake Taugadhu Rukai’s Lrikulau (Clouded Leopard), which shows a big cat that has long been associated with Taiwan. It stands alongside Squamish artist Jody Broomfield’s Honouring the Spirit of the Children, Canadian Heather Sparks’s Transformation, Filipino Canadian Danvic Briones’s Wind Garden, and Quw’utsun artist Charlene Johnny’s sxwut’ts’uli (Hummingbird).

There’s also a lantern highlighting the story of Alegria, which will be performed by Cirque du Soleil from March 25 to May 1 in Vancouver. Cirque du Soleil performers also appeared at the LunarFest opening ceremony.

“It’s always been a focus for our organization to create a festival that focuses on inclusivity, diversity, and imagination,” LunarFest organizer Charlie Wu said at the opening ceremony. “Back in 2019, we created a Coastal Lunar Lantern [event] acknowledging that we are on the land of the Indigenous people—and the great celebration

on their unceded territory should include the Indigenous community as well as communities other than our own.”

This marks the first year that there’s also a Lantern City exhibition at Granville Island. The general manager of Granville Island, Tom Lancaster, thanked his staff at the opening ceremony, as well as the artists and the LunarFest organizers, for their hard work in making this happen.

Other business groups that have partnered with LunarFest include the West End Business Improvement Association and the Downtown Vancouver Business Improvement Association.

Another speaker at the event was Minister of State for Child Care Katrina Chen, who has been attending LunarFest events for many years. “I’m also here as a proud Taiwanese Canadian,” Chen said.

The director general of the Taipei Economic and Cultural Office in Vancouver, Lihsin Angel Liu, wished everyone a lucky Year of the Tiger. The Taiwanese envoy ended her speech by noting that one of the slogans on a T-shirt that she observed read, “No more Chinese Taipei. Just Taiwan”.

Liu clearly agreed with that sentiment, as many Taiwanese take offence at the Communist government of China’s efforts to rebrand her independent country with this phrase.

Mayor Stewart also indicated support for the island nation, which has been colonized on several occasions throughout its history, including by the Dutch, Spanish, Japanese, and Ming and Qing dynasties.

“It’s important to show international solidarity with Taiwan,” Stewart said. g

Media Sponsor

For more information on events linked to Lunar New Year in Vancouver, visit LunarFestVancouver.ca.

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

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CHILL.

Enjoy stress-free reading without the noise on CreatorNews.

ARTS | CULTURE | LIFESTYLE ,QWURGXFLQJ WKH ŦUVW QHZV DJJUHJDWRU GHGLFDWHG WR WKH DUWV JOREDO FXOWXUH OLIHVW\OH DQG FUHDWLYH QHZV /HDYH GLYLVLYH SROLWLFV FULPH DQG IDNH QHZV EHKLQG ZLWK H[SHUWO\ FXUDWHG UHOD[LQJ UHDGV

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MOVIES / ARTS

Sankofa film fest focuses on loss of Black spaces

T

by Martin Dunphy

he word sankofa comes from the Akan language of West Africa, and its meaning can be expressed several ways.

Verbally, it means, literally, “to go back and get it”, to retrieve something.

Visually, artistically, sankofa is usually depicted as a bird with feet facing forward and head turned back, often with an egg in its beak, representing the future’s promise.

It has become a prominent symbol of the African diaspora and the need to draw on past history and cultural legacies to help build for tomorrow.

The exhibition Sankofa: African Routes, Canadian Roots has been running at the Museum of Anthropology at UBC since last November (it closes March 27). An introductory web essay by MOA Africa and South America curator Nuno Porto says of the term: “Sankofa recentres, recognizes, includes, inscribes, and builds on memory to move forward.”

As part of that art-based exhibition, there is a one-day film festival at the MOA’s Haida House this Saturday (February 12), commencing at 11 a.m. Entry to the films and traditional First Nation structure is free with museum admission on a firstcome, first-served basis. (Capacity is limited as per COVID-19 safety protocols, and proof of full vaccination is required.)

The fest, titled Sankofa Film Festival: Films From the Diaspora, consists of three short documentaries about the Black experience in urban communities in Canada, made between 1991 and 2016, and one (They Are We, 2014, 77 minutes) that traces Afro-Cuban culture and the shared heritage of a family torn apart by the transatlantic slave trade.

Of the other three, one (“Remember Af-

“Then I worked with the other curators,” she explained. “We wanted to make sure there was a cohesiveness with the rest of the exhibition…[that] we highlighted important spaces for the African diaspora in Canada.”

Santana, who was born in the Dominican Republic and came to Vancouver and UBC in 2017, said she works full-time for the Directors Guild of Canada, B.C. (“I do identify as Black,” she told the Straight, “but the term that I use is Afro-Latino.”)

The two films about Hogan’s Alley, the Black community and gathering place that thrived in Vancouver from the early 1900s to the late 1960s—when it was mostly demolished to make way for part of a downtown freeway project that was never fully realized—have the most local impact, Santana said.

“Although they both tell the story of…

what was completely torn away from the Black community, they tell it from different perspectives,” she noted. “ ‘Hogan’s Alley’ ”, she said, “gives a more personal story of the destruction of Hogan’s Alley. It tells the story of Hogan’s Alley through the eyes and lived experiences of three women.”

“Secret Vancouver”, on the other hand, is a look at what the neighbourhood, and Vancouver, lost when nightclubs, restaurants, and, eventually, the city’s only Black church were gone. “This is about the cultural impact of the loss of that community,” Santana said.

Although she never saw Hogan’s Alley in its heyday, she said, “you can definitely feel the loss. The Black community here in Vancouver doesn’t really have a space.

“I think it’s why Hogan’s Alley will not be forgotten.”

Santana’s advice to those who decide to take in the mini film fest?

“Take a moment to really listen to the stories that are being told. One thing we see a lot when it comes to Black history is that people like to say, ‘Oh, this is what happened in the past.’

“See how the stories reflect on today.”

Ultimately, Santana said, they are stories of inspiration and hope.

“I hope that these films help folks [understand] the history and loss of the Black communities in Canada,” she said.

“But these are not just stories of loss; they are stories of perseverance.

“The Black community here, we’re resilient. We don’t have a home base, so sometimes people feel at a loss.

“But there are definitely people doing work to make these spaces,” she noted.

“There are a lot of barriers to making it happen…but people are working.” g

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23

INTO THE LIGHT Step inside the ancient tale of the sea-monster Nian to gain a deeper understanding of Lunar New Year rituals and customs. Feb 18-20, Gateway Theatre. $18-28.

STAYED ON FREEDOM Performances by Marcus Mosely Chorale, City Soul Choir, Candace Churchill, Dawn Pemberton, Ndidi Cascade, and Will Sanders in honour of Black History Month. Feb 18, 7:30-9:45 pm, Christ Church Cathedral. $42.

TUNING New duet created and directed by Vanessa Goodman, featuring dancers Alexis Fletcher and Ted Littlemore. Feb 23-26, Shadbolt Centre for the Arts.

Africville was a Black community in Halifax that was demolished in the 1960s. The film “Remember Africville” screens at MOA on February 12. Photo by The Africville Genealogy Society/Facebook.

ricville”, 1991, 35 minutes) tells the story of a Black community in Halifax that was demolished in the 1960s in the name of “urban renewal”, a city-revitalization initiative that in both the U.S. and Canadian experience often involved uprooting communities of poor Black people. (American author James Baldwin famously referred to the practice as “Negro Removal”.)

The other two, “Hogan’s Alley” (1994, 32 minutes) and “Secret Vancouver: Return to Hogan’s Alley” (2016, 16 minutes), concern the destruction and cultural legacy of Vancouver’s storied Black neighbourhood on the southwestern edge of Strathcona downtown.

Coral Santana, a recent UBC graduate who worked as a cultural-programming consultant for the film fest, told the Straight by phone that she helped select the initial list of films to be considered for screening.

ARTS LISTINGS ONGOING ADVANCE THEATRE FESTIVAL Dramatic readings over five nights of five new plays written and directed by diverse, under-represented theatre artists. To Feb 11, 8 pm, Shadbolt Centre for the Arts. $15-35.

SEA SICK Alanna Mitchell’s production about climate change and the state of the global ocean. To Feb 19, Historic Theatre. From $29.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 10 THE AT HOME SYMPHONY GALA The Vancouver Symphony's virtual gala featuring Canadian music legend Paul Shaffer. Feb 10, 7 pm, online, vancouversymphony.ca. From $150.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11 JAZZ @ THE 'BOLT Three-day jazz event featuring top jazz players from Canada and the U.S. Feb 11-13, Shadbolt Centre for the Arts. $35-$100.

IN DARKNESS: LUTE SONGS OF JOHN DOWLAND Performance by baritone Jonathon Adams and lutenist Lucas Harris. Feb 11, 7:30 pm, Bill Reid Gallery of

Northwest Coast Art. $20-45.

PAUL SHAFFER & THE VSO Canadian music legend joins the Vancouver Symphony and Motown singercomposer Valerie Simpson in a program of pop and R&B hits. Feb 11-12, Orpheum Theatre..

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 12 THE NONEXISTENT A story of resilience and courage, intertwining epic accounts and acrobatic feats.

Feb 12, 2-3 pm, Kay Meek Arts Centre. $15-22.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13 COMEDY TING Standup comedy featuring Ed Konyha, Gina Harms, Ola Dada, Jonny Divito, Jackie Agnew, Marito Lopez, Duante Barnett, and Malik Elassal. Feb 13, 8-9:30 pm, Calabash Bistro. $20/25.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15 SILK ROAD MUSIC The Rogue Folk Club presents a program of songs from the classical repertoire to folk-based pieces that are popular in the Chinese communities. Feb 15, 8 pm, Mel Lehan Hall at St. James. $20 in-person.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 19 THE JAY AND SILENT BOB SHOW! LIVE Onenight-only comedy show featuring cult icons Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes. Feb 19, 7:30 pm, Vancouver Convention Centre. From $29.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20 A TRIBUTE TO JOHANNES BRAHMS Music of Brahms performed by pianist Jean-Sébastien Lévesque and violinist Victor Fournelle-Blain. Feb 20, 2 pm, Pyatt Hall. $15-25.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25 MARY'S WEDDING Story of love and survival weaves a theatrical spell of hope, regret, memory, and dreams. Feb 25–Mar 13, Firehall Arts Centre.

TUESDAY, MARCH 1 DISCOVER DANCE! Pianist/conductor Leslie Dala, countertenor Shane Hanson, and Ne. Sans dancers perform recent works to music by Handel, Bach, and Philip Glass. Mar 1, 12-1 pm, Scotiabank Dance Centre..

ARTS LISTINGS are a public service provided free of charge, based on available space and editorial discretion. Submit events online using the eventsubmission form at straight.com/AddEvent.

Events that don't make it into the paper due to space constraints will appear on the website.

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

15

MUSIC

Cory Weeds books his faves for Jazz @ the Bolt

C

by Steve Newton

ory Weeds is well known in Vancouver jazz circles as a concert promoter, record-label boss, and former club owner, not to mention a pretty decent sax player. He came by his love of jazz honestly, as his father is an amateur guitarist who had a lot of jazz records playing in the house.

At first, the young Weeds took a rebellious stance, attempting to dislike jazz just because his father loved it so much, but that didn’t work.

“I tried to really hate jazz,” he says on the line from his Burnaby home, “but eventually, man, it just got to me. It got to me quite seriously in about Grade 10 or 11, and then it really took off in Grade 12 and I never looked back. Jazz just excites me more than any other kind of music, and I’ve been very lucky. I’ve managed to have a career doing nothing but jazz.”

Weeds owned and operated the Cellar Jazz Club near Main and Broadway for 14 years, and he has released more than 300 recordings via the Cellar Music Group.

After the Cellar closed in 2014, he continued as a diligent promoter of local jazz musicians, booking talent at Frankie’s Jazz Club since 2016.

When asked to name his Vancouver sax heroes, the first person that comes to Weeds’s mind is Ross Taggart. Sadly, Taggart succumbed to cancer in 2013 at the age of 45, but Weeds has a number of other faves that are still active on the scene.

“I was really disappointed that I was away and missed Campbell Ryga last weekend,” he says. “And it’s always exciting to see Brad Turner and his quartet—Brad’s always doin’ really good stuff. I miss Oliver Gannon a lot, too. He’s been struggling with some hand issues, but it’s always special when he graces the stage. And there’s a young guy named John Lee who’s a multi-instrumentalist, and I love playing with him, but I also love just watching his bands. So there’s a lot of incredible talent here.”

Weeds’s latest major effort to promote the city’s top jazz artists and showcase their skills will be Jazz @ the Bolt, a three-day music festival that runs this weekend (February 11 to 13) at the Shadbolt Centre for the Arts. It’s a venue that’s near and dear to Weeds’s heart.

“I was born and raised in Burnaby,” he says, “so I watched that centre develop since the early days. I was reached out to by them to start a jam session, and we had really great success with that. Then I started kinda working as a contractor there and doing four or five shows a year.

“The setting is beautiful,” he raves, “right off of Deer Lake. It’s a nice centre with high ceilings, and they’ve got many spaces. They’ve got the James Cowan Theatre, which seats about 300, and they’ve got a Studio Theatre, which is about 185. And

16

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

Saxophonist and entrepreneur Cory Weeds has been promoting jazz in the city for many years, with his latest project being a three-day jazz festival at Burnaby’s Shadbolt Centre for the Arts.

then they’ve got some rooms that you can open up and make it bigger.”

Weeds feels that the layout of the

35,000-square-foot Shadbolt Centre makes it particularly well suited to the “jazz walk” type of event he envisions Jazz @ the

J azz FEST BOSS CHECKS OUT

d THE COASTAL Jazz & Blues Society (CJBS) announced on February 4 that Rainbow Robert (above in photo by Massimiliano Lachini) has stepped down as the managing director of Vancouver’s annual jazz festival. In a release, CJBS executive director Nina Horvath said the society will feel the loss of Robert.

“Rainbow will be deeply missed by staff and the jazz community,” Horvath said, “and it is our goal to continue to uphold the standard of artistic excellence she has brought to the organization.”

No reason was given for the departure of the longtime employee. CJBS was founded as a charitable arts organization in 1985 and has produced the TD Vancouver International Jazz Festival since 1986.

Robert held the jazz festival’s managing-director position since 2018

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

but has worked for the fest since 1998, mainly in programming. She replaced fest cofounder Ken Pickering after he retired in 2017. Pickering died in August 2018.

CJBS had the following to say about Robert in the release: “Her keen ear and expansive vision has been instrumental in the growth, recognition, and success of the TD Vancouver International Jazz Festival across the country and around the globe.

“Rainbow brought great passion and inspiration to her work and improved musical life in this city for both festivalgoers and artists,” the release continued. “She forged new relationships by developing in-depth collaborations between local and international artists, and helped shine a light on the magnitude of musical talent in Vancouver.”

The nonprofit noted the Robert led its education and outreach activities, “including collaborative initiatives with the Berklee Institute of Jazz and Gender Justice and the International Institute for Critical Studies in Improvisation”.

Meanwhile, the CJBS said that it will be “engaging in a thoughtful, transparent, and equitable process to determine the future artistic leadership of the organization”. The the 35th annual jazz fest is scheduled to take place this year, from June 24 to July 3, and it will be preceded by this month’s IronFest 2 (February 18 to 20). g

by Martin Dunphy

Bolt to be.

“The concept of the festival is that it’s a roaming festival,” he says, “so we have bands starting at 11, 11:15, and 11:30, and then once that 11:30 set is done around 12:15, there’s a little break and then it all starts again. So the idea is, you may come to the festival and you may not get to hear one band because that room will be full, so you just go to the next room, and then when somebody leaves the other room, you can go in.

“Now, COVID has made it a little bit difficult, because if we don’t have a certain amount of people in the centre, the roaming concept doesn’t work as well. But the way I’m kind of viewing it is that, look, Vancouver needs this festival. We need something to celebrate. So however it’s gonna work, it’s gonna work.”

Weeds has booked New York City’s Mike LeDonne and the Groover Quartet for the opening-night performance on Friday, when it will be joined by a big band composed of 13 local jazz heavyweights.

As well as Weeds himself on baritone sax, the lineup will include tenor saxophonist Dave Say, acoustic bassist John Lee, alto saxophonists Steve Kaldestad and James Danderfer; trombonists Rod Murray, Brad Shigeta, Jim Hopson, and Jeremy Berkman; and trumpeters Brad Turner, Chris Davis, Derry Byrne, and Jocelyn Waugh.

Although Weeds is thrilled about taking part in Jazz @ the Bolt’s opening gig, there’s plenty more that he’s recommending people see.

“On Saturday, I’m really excited about the Michael Stephenson Quintet,” he says, “Michael’s a very talented young man. I’m also excited about Alex Claffy’s quintet with Nicole Glover, a great saxophonist who’s really tearing up the scene in New York City. And then, locally speaking, on that day, Steve Kaldestad, who’s a dear friend of mine. I always love hearing him; he’s one of my favourite saxophone players.”

Sunday’s program features an allCanadian lineup, and Weeds notes that it wasn’t difficult at all finding enough worthy Canuck jazz acts to fill the bill.

“It’s no problem,” he says. “We’re very lucky in Canada. The Ostara Project, the all-female collective co-led by Jodi Proznick, that’s gonna be really neat. It’s always nice when you can bring seven talented women together. Black Gardenia is a really cool band, and Blue Moon Marquee is fantastic. Amanda Tosoff’s gonna do a trio gig, and she’s a wonderful pianist.

“That’s the beauty about being able to book a festival, ’cause you can book all the stuff that you want to hear.” g Jazz @ the Bolt takes place at Burnaby’s Shadbolt Centre for the Arts from February 11 to 13.

MUSIC / SAVAGE

Chalcedony’s “Permanent Marker” gets tears flowing

I

by Mike Usinger

“

f only tears could fuel a fucking time machine.”

Stop and think about that line for a second. Imagine everything you could not only have done differently, but all the life mistakes you’d be able to undo. Relationships. Hairdos. Career choices. That time you sunk $3,000 into MySpace shares when everyone was telling you Facebook was the more sensible option.

And that time spending $122,000 on a reno-worthy East Van character home seemed like insanity. So even though you had the down payment, you continued to rent in a three-storey walk-up on Beach Avenue because it was two blocks from English Bay, and stumbling distance from the Marine Club.

“If only tears could fuel a fucking time machine” indeed.

That line comes from “Permanent Marker” by Chalcedony, whose debut EP—Do You Really Wanna Know What the Fuck Goes On Inside My Head—arrives this spring. Chances are you know singerguitarist Chalcedony and bassist Gillian Callander from their previous tours of duty in the Vancouver indie underground, including stints with Junior Major and

‘Permanent Marker’ throws back to the past on a number of fronts.

Gillian Callander and Chalcedony prove that static can make more than balloons stick to walls.

Joyce Collingwood.

That the two know their postpunk history is reflected in “Permanent Marker”.

Chalcedony balances a dark yet winning vulnerability with an attitude as effortlessly badass as Courtney Love and Kelley Deal in the Lollapalooza years. On the back end, Callander anchors things with a bass line that nails the sweet spot between the

collected works of Carlos Dengler and Vancouver’s late and entirely great the Organ.

Visually, the Chris Rekrutiak–directed “Permanent Marker” throws back to the past on a number of fronts: clawfoot bathtubs, five-panel Craftsman doors, pedestal sinks, Nuggets-era dresses and zebra-skin shirts, and an opening scene that may or may not be a nod to the late great Laura Palmer—at

least where the makeup is concerned.

And speaking of Laura Palmer, man, if only tears could fuel a fucking time machine, because that would mean getting the chance to go back to when Twin Peaks was the newest and hottest thing on television.

And to make up for the fact you could have seen Hole at the Town Pump just days after the release of Live Through This, but instead went to Bootsauce at 86 Street.

And getting the opportunity to say goodbye to people you missed saying goodbye to when it mattered.

Think about it. But, unless you want the tears to really start flowing, don’t think about it too hard. g You can check out more of Chalcedony at https:// open.spotify.com/artist/01wlZpjdZMAZl7PuDo32Xf.

Some out-there kinks require a bit of restraint

by Dan Savage

b I’M A 40-YEAR-OLD bi guy and I’m really into drinking cum. I say “drinking” and not “swallowing” because I’m talking about glassfuls. I make and sell videos of me drinking large amounts of cum. Since I don’t have a stable of guys to supply me, I use frozen cum.

It used to just be my own that I saved up over time, but I met a guy online a couple years ago that’s into feeding his cum to people like myself. I have some health concerns about it. First, could STIs survive the freezing-and-thawing process? I’ve already had a few glasses of his cum, so the boat has sailed regarding my current “cumbull”, as they’re known in my niche sexual community, but I’m looking at getting more donors.

Second question, how much cum is safe to drink? And digest? It does give me an upset stomach, but I can usually handle that. But am I damaging myself by not taking my body’s prompt to throw it up?

From the research I’ve done, it seems the zinc in cum is the biggest worry. Just 100 mls or so contains your daily required intake of zinc and too much zinc can have some negative health effects. I’m aiming to drink at least a litre in one video and don’t feel comfortable discussing this with my doctor. Could you contact a doctor for me?

- Canadian Cumsumer

ER doctor Josh Trebach tells one of Dan’s readers that if he wants to go ahead with his plan to drink a litre of semen, he needs to be assured of the donor(s) STI status. Photo by Twitter.

P.S. I would’ve called into the podcast, but my sister is a listener and I would rather not share this info with her.

Before anyone can jump in the comments and post “FAKE” in all caps, CC enclosed his Twitter handle in a post-postscript, which allowed me to verify that he’s for real. What’s

more, a quick scroll through CC’s Twitter revealed that he’s not the only person out there methodically acquiring and chugging enormous amounts of semen. As it turns out, there’s a thriving community of “cumbulls” online who enjoy supplying, and even more cumguzzlers like CC who enjoy imbibing.

(Sadly, CC asked me not to publish his Twit-

ter handle, so you’ll just have to trust me: this letter is not a fake.)

Now, before I bring in the medical expert you hoped to hear from, CC, I wanna say this to my other readers: nothing about CC’s kink appeals to me personally—it looks like way too much of a good thing—but CC and his cumbulls aren’t hurting anyone. Indeed, the world would be a better place if it had more Canadians like CC in it and fewer Canadians like those fascist assholes in trucks currently blocking border crossings.

Okay! Let’s meet this week’s guest expert!

“It seems like there are two questions here,” said Dr. Josh Trebach, an emergency medicine physician and a medical toxicology fellow in New York City. “The first question is the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), the second is, ‘How much is too much?’

Is it safe to drink large volumes of semen?”

Trebach looked at the medical literature, CC, but found it “extremely lacking” for individuals who freeze, thaw, and drink large amounts of semen. Yours is an underserved (except when you’re being overserved) and unrepresented (except on Twitter) population.

“But we do know that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be transmitted from performing oral sex,” said Trebach. “This in-

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022

see next page

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

17

from previous page longer waits between shoots.

As for your plan to drink an entire litre of cludes syphilis, herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HIV. And while it’s tempting to assume cum in one video…

“So, how much is too much?” said Trebach. the freezing and thawing process would create a less welcoming environment for STIs, “In toxicology, we use a concept called the there’s evidence to suggest some STIs survive ‘median lethal dose’, or ‘LD50’, to describe how the freezing process quite well. Gonorrhea can toxic a given substance is. The LD50 is, basicsurvive temperatures lower than -300 degrees ally, the quantity of a substance that would kill 9258604 Canada Corporation dba Metropolitan 1097130 B.C.toLTD. exposed it—or in Fahrenheit for over a year. Chlamydia has also 50% of people who were Moversis looking for a Moving Van Drivers Banter Room Supervisor. Perm, F/TCC’s (40 h/w), Wage -ingested it. It dba case, would be theoretically been able to survive after being frozen.’’ is HIRING Line Cooks. Perm, F/T, Shifts, Week$26.00 per/h Requirements: high school, good possible to extrapolate from human or animal ends. Wage: $19.00 /hour. Requirements: Exp. Now, STIs are not spontaneouslyEnglish, generated 1-2 years of experience.

Main duties: min. 1-2 years, good English, high school Supervise activities of employees, assign workon the lethalMain dose ofPrepare eachandindividual inwhen semen comes into contact with of data duties: cook complete meals ers saliva, to duties; Co-ordinate activities of drivers or individual Set up stock food andgenerated movers; Prepare work schedules, control gredient (such as items zinc) to dishes, come upandwith the course, nor are they spontaneouslyand and supplies, Operate standard kitchen monitor routes; Recommend on hiring new equipment, cleanliness and hygiene is LD50 of semen, but this Ensure would be theoretical when someone packs their cum in dry ice and and employees train staff; Ensure health and maintained, Maintain inventory and records of safety regulations are followed; Schedule repairs andsupplies;Resolve imprecise.” food, ships it off to a stranger they met on the Internet.works;Order supplies and equipment, Perform kitchen and maintenance work station opening closing duties, work relatedproblems, maintain reports.

And now a little science, a littleandmath, and a “But given the lack of data for thoseCompany’s that freeze, Supervise kitchen staff and helpers. business address and job location: Job me, location and business address:zinc little guesswork (from not Trebach): thaw, then drink semen, I would encourage 1102 - 1068anyHornby St. Vancouver BC V6Z2Y7 1039 Mainland St., Vancouver, BC, V6B Please apply by e-mail: for our 5P9. imone doing this to err on the side of caution and is a trace element that’s important Please apply by e-mail: vancouvermetropolitan@gmail.com employment.banterroom@gmail.com assume practically the same risks as performing mune systems, metabolic functions, our body’s oral sex,” Trebach said. “This means knowing ability to heal wounds, and the production of the STI status of you and your partner(s) and important enzymes. Adult males should ingest of zinc daily,GROUP a singleINC teaengaging in appropriate prevention strategies, about 11 milligramsSIBER FACADE is hiring a Procurement Manager.percent Perm, F/T. spoon of semen contains about three e.g., PrEP and frequent STI testing.” $/hr. Requirements: 2-3 years of exp. areA45203 a litre.

So, let’s say your cumbull has been tested of that, and thereWage: collegeteaspoons diploma, Excellentin English Main an duties: Plan, manage entire litre and of oversee semen, and is currently STI-free and in a monogam- So, if you were to drink purchasing activity of the company, Develop and implement roughly procurement policies and six times ous relationship with someone who has also CC, you would be ingesting procedures, Control the budget; Evaluate allowance of zinc, been tested. Or tested, STI-free, and supplying your daily recommended suppliers, Negotiate policies with suppliersor Evaluate and control Attend meetings, you contracts, don’t have some his semen to men and women like you is his 66 milligrams. Assuming trade shows and conferences, Maintain and records,condition, Interview and hire that’s new health sole sexual outlet. If that’s the case, CC, you other, undiagnosed review personnel, Process claims against suppliers zinc (oraddress semen) kill shouldn’t let an exaggerated fear of contracting probably not enough Company’s business and jobto location: 230, 7270 Market Crossing, toUnit make you puke. an STI stop you from pursuing this pleasure. you, but it is enough Burnaby BC, V5J 0A3. Please apply by email to “My opinion is that hr@siberconstruction.com if you’re drinking so That said, CC, the more cumbulls you add to your herd, the greater your risk for contracting much of anything that you feel like you’re goan STI becomes. Obviously. So for safety’s sake ing to vomit, you should probably cut back, where STIs are concerned, you should stick as that may be your body’s way of telling you with your trusted supplier, even if that means something is wrong or that there is too much

of something present,” Trebach said. “And continuous irritation to your gastrointestinal tract through direct injury, distension, and repeated exposure is not advised.”

And even if there might not be enough zinc in a litre of semen to kill you—or enough citric acid or fructose or potassium or cooties—that doesn’t mean it’s safe to quickly ingest a litre of it. Amra Bakery Inc. o/a European Breads Bakery is hiring Bakers.

“An age-old the/hr world of toxicolShifts, Weekends, Perm, adage F/T. Wage:in $15.20 Requirements: Good English, exp. as a baker is ogy is that the dose makes the poison,” said an asset, high school education. On-the-job training will be provided by employer.

Trebach.

“Even things that may seem benign— Main duties: Measure and combine ingredients water, candy, semen—can according to recipes; Prepare dough; be deadly with a Prepare and operate equipment for baking; high enough dose, and you can have ‘toxic’ Set and monitor temperatures and bake items; Ensure product freshness and food safety; effects well below a lethal dose. In one litre of Keep work area clean and tidy. semen, enough to surpass the Company’s there’s business address and jobsodium location: 4320 Fraser St, Vancouver, BC V5V 4G3 recommended daily intake of sodium, and Please apply by e-mail: european.breads.amra@gmail.com that’s just not really healthy.”

People have actually died from drinking too much water, CC. It’s rare, but it happens. And it stands to reason that if a person can die after drinking three to four litres of water over the course of a few hours—which, again, has happened—it wouldn’t surprise anyone to learn a person died after drinking an entire litre of semen over 140 seconds, i.e., the maximum length of a video clip posted to Twitter. You say you don’t want your sister finding out about your kink after hearing your voice on my podcast, CC, and I have to assume you don’t want your sister—or the rest of your family—finding out about your kink after hearing from the coroner.

I have a lot of mottos, CC, and one of them is, “Moderation in all things—including moderation.” Your kink is not my kink, CC, but

Employment EMPLOYMENT Careers

Electra Fix Appliance Repair LTD

is currently seeking Appliance Service Technicians, Greater Vancouver, BC. F/T, Perm (40 h/w). Wage: $22.50 /h Main duties: Review work tasks; Refer to product manuals and disassemble appliance; Diagnose faults and conduct appliance assessment; Adjust, repair or replace parts and components; Perform routine maintenance work;Reassemble appliance, ensure that it is working properly; Report to the Manager and prepare documentation. Requirements: High school, completion of apprenticeship program or 2-3 years of work experience, good English.

Business address and job location: 2120 - 950 Seaborne Ave, Port Coquitlam, BC V3E 3G7 Please apply by e-mail: electrafixappliance@gmail.com

Highdeal Solutions Inc.

is looking for a Procurement Specialist. F/T, Perm. Wage: $29.50 /h, Extended medical benefit package. Duties: Solicit and analyze vendor quotes; Place purchase orders, establish delivery schedules; Negotiate and evaluate supply and service contracts; Prepare specifications and documents; Monitor compliance with contractual terms and conditions; Monitor delivery dates, resolve problems; Conduct cost benefit analysis for alternative products; Respond to inquiries and complaints; Maintain and review records. Requirements:1-2 years of experience in procurement.College diploma Business address and job location: 19055 Airport Way, Unit 119, Pitt Meadows, BC V3Y 0G4. Please apply by e-mail: hr.highdeal@gmail.com

M&E Import Limited

dba M&E Business Furnishings is hiring a Transport Logistic Manager (NOC 1215). F/T, Perm, Wage: $25.50/h Requirements: min 1-2 years of experience in transport logistic, High school. Duties: Coordinate and assign work to staff; Establish work schedules; Co-ordinate activities with other work units; Handling and resolving work-related problems; Prepare and submit reports; Train workers in job duties; Requisition suppliesand materials; Ensuring smooth operation of computer systems, equipment and machinery; Controlling the budget; Performing the same duties as workers supervised. Business address and job location: 107-1585 Broadway St, Port Coquitlam, BC, V3C 2M7 Apply by e-mail: employment.mefurn@gmail.com

9258604 Canada Corporation

dba Metropolitan Movers is looking for Moving Van Drivers Supervisor.

Perm, F/T (40 h/w), Wage -$26.00 per/h Requirements: high school, good English, 1-2 years of experience. Main duties: Supervise activities of employees, assign workers to duties; Co-ordinate activities of drivers and movers; Prepare work schedules, control and monitor routes; Recommend on hiring new employees and train staff; Ensure health and safety regulations are followed; Schedule repairs and maintenance works;Order supplies;Resolve work relatedproblems, maintain reports. Company’s business address and job location:1102 - 1068 Hornby St. Vancouver BC V6Z2Y7 Please apply by e-mail: vancouvermetropolitan@gmail.com

STRAIGHT 25 – JULY 2 / 202010 – 17 / 2022 2 THE 18 GEORGIA THE GEORGIA STRJUNE AIGHT FEBRUARY

1097130 B.C. LTD. dba Banter Room

is HIRING Line Cooks. Perm, F/T, Shifts, Weekends. Wage: $19.00 /hour.

Requirements: Exp. min. 1-2 years, good English, high school. Main duties: Prepare and cook complete meals or individual dishes, Set up and stock food items and supplies, Operate standard kitchen equipment, Ensure cleanliness and hygiene is maintained, Maintain inventory and records of food, supplies and equipment, Perform kitchen work station opening and closing duties, Supervise kitchen staff and helpers.

Job location and business address: 1039 Mainland St., Vancouver, BC, V6B 5P9.

Please apply by e-mail: employment.banterroom@gmail.com

SIBER FACADE GROUP INC

is hiring a Procurement Manager. Perm, F/T. Wage: 45 $/hr. Requirements: 2-3 years of exp.A college diploma, Excellent English Main duties: Plan, manage and oversee purchasing activity of the company, Develop and implement procurement policies and procedures, Control the budget; Evaluate suppliers, Negotiate policies with suppliers Evaluate and control contracts, Attend meetings, trade shows and conferences, Maintain andreview records, Interview and hire new personnel, Process claims against suppliers Company’s business address and job location: Unit 230, 7270 Market Crossing, Burnaby BC, V5J 0A3.

Please apply by email to:

hr@siberconstruction.com

Amra Bakery Inc.

o/a European Breads Bakery is hiring Bakers.

Shifts, Weekends, Perm, F/T. Wage: $15.20 /hr Requirements: Good English, exp. as a baker is an asset, high school education. On-the-job training will be provided by employer.Main duties: Measure and combine ingredients according to recipes; Prepare dough; Prepare and operate equipment for baking; Set and monitor temperatures and bake items; Ensure product freshness and food safety; Keep work area clean and tidy.

Company’s business address and job location: 4320 Fraser St, Vancouver, BC V5V 4G3 Please apply by e-mail: european.breads.amra@gmail.com

Personal EMPLOYMENT Services Men Seeking Women

Mature, employed gentlemen is looking for a girlfriend. Hobbies are singing, dancing and making videos.

Please call Kevin at 604-291-9364

Women Seeking Men Sweet, Cheerful, Youthful, Intelligent, Pretty Baby-doll type, 5'7" seeks n/s respectful Gentleman 45--58 choralspecialist@gmail.com

your kink is okay, as the saying goes, and your kink is about the consumption of immoderate amounts of semen. But I would advise you, as I have advised many others, to be moderate about how often you’re immoderate. In your case, that means carefully choosing your cumbulls, puking when your body tells you to puke, and cutting back on the semen if your body needs to puke each time you do this.

Otherwise, enjoy.

But the final word goes to Trebach, who wanted to add a quick disclaimer: he hasn’t examined you or taken a full history and physical, CC, so he doesn’t want you to think this is true medical advice. “And I know talking with a doctor about some of these issues is hard, but I like to think things are getting better. Today’s new doctors are, in my opinion, much more comfortable and open when answering questions about sexual health. Although some questions may be niche, we physicians owe our patients respect and confidentiality, as we are here to help them, not make judgments. Please find a doctor that you can discuss these questions with, so they can give you the best possible recommendations.”

You can follow Dr. Josh Trebach on Twitter @jtrebach.

PS Good news, everybody! CC responded to my email asking if he would allow me to share his Twitter handle here. Go have a look at @zoesixxx. g Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. Email: questions@savagelovecast.net. Columns, podcasts, books, merch, and more at www.savage.love!

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Your name is Neil Andrew and you were born in the Vancouver area in the mid-1950s.Your mother's name is Marie.

Please contact "Dee" at Box 61059, RPO Langara, Vancouver, BC, V6P 6S5 and provide some information about yourself or your mother so that I know it's you.

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THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 19 3 FEBRUARYJUNE 10 –25 17 – / JULY 20222 / 2020 THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

Student Sundays [19+]

Vancouver's First Retail Cannabis Store Open every day from 9AM to 11PM 2868 4th Ave. W Kitsilano (604) 900 1714 WWW.ECSVAN.CA Evergreen Cannabis is a private retailer of legal, non medical cannabis. You must be 19 years of age or older to purchase cannabis. ID is checked on premises.

20

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

FEBRUARY 10 – 17 / 2022