you can confide in Childline
June 2009 issue 3
cyber bullying the ultimate guide
Cyber bullying is any form of bullying which happens using any form of technology – to children by children
get to know the terms
There are two ways to cyber bully: 1. 2.
Direct attacks: messages sent directly to the victim. Cyber bullying in groups: Using others to help cyber bully the victim, either with or without the accomplice’s knowledge.
The effects of cyber bullying Even though cyber bullying cannot physically hurt you, it can still leave you feeling emotionally vulnerable and very upset. You can also feel scared, lonely, stressed and feeling like there’s no way out. Escaping cyber bullying can be very difficult. Because anyone can get access to a mobile phone or the internet almost anywhere. It can also be tough for those on the receiving end to avoid it, even in the safety of their own home.
Childline is
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Cyber bullying in groups Those who take part in online bullying often use a group of friends to target their victims by asking them to add a comment to a photo on a blog, or asking them to forward it onto another group of friends. Sometimes, these people don’t even realise they’re actually bullying someone.
Cyber bullying
Children targeting children
Cyber-harassment / Cyberstalking Adults targeting adults
Flaming
(Computer Slang) an angry, critical, or harsh electronic message, as an e-mail or message post.
Why do kids cyber bully each other? There are many reasons why someone might cyber bully someone else. Some reasons can include: Anger, revenge, frustration, entertainment, boredom, humour, to torment, defending themselves or to remind their peers of their own social standing.
years old this month Check out our new website
www.childline.gi for updates, information and help
in this issue: What to do if you’re bullied online How to protect yourself on the internet Where to go for help How clued up are you about bullying? Check out our quiz!
staying safe online It’s important that if you’re using the internet, you know how to stay safe.
so cia l ne tw or kin g There are a number of things to think about when using social networking sites like Bebo, Facebook and My Space: Personal Information Be careful what information you give out on your profile. Remember that you don’t know what your friend’s friends’ friend will do with your picture or your phone number if you give it out by mistake. Once your picture is out there, it’s out there forever and you won’t be able to get it back. Be aware that information on your profile could potentially be viewed by anyone. So if you wouldn’t be comfortable printing it off and handing it out on the street, maybe it shouldn’t be on your profile. Chatting Think through who you want to chat to, and how many of your personal thoughts you want anyone to view. But remember, the internet is a public space. Test yourself by asking “would I want my teacher/parents/ stranger in Main Street to see this?!” If the answer is no… don’t post it! Accepting Friendships If you know someone… who knows someone… who knows someone, it doesn’t make them your friend, so think carefully about whether you want to be chatting to them and what kind of things you’re saying. If someone adds you to their contact list and you don’t know them, they will be able to have access to your profile. And you don’t want that! So make sure you block them. If you add someone and decide afterwards you don’t want them on your list you can delete and block them too.
Privacy Settings Use your Privacy Settings! Adjust your account settings (sometimes called “Privacy Settings”) so only approved friends can contact you. This won’t ruin your social life – new people can still send you friend requests and message you. This means that people you don’t want to see your profile can’t! Some social networking sites are really well run and the administrators will try to help you remember to keep your personal information to yourself. Others are not so good – so be careful when choosing which areas you go to.
Uploading Photos Only upload pictures that you’d be happy for your parents to see – anything too sexy to be passed round the dinner table should NOT make it onto the web, as you don’t know who could be looking at it or what they might be doing with it. Don’t post pictures of you or your mates wearing school uniform – if dodgy people see your school uniform, they can work out where you are and find you. The more anonymous you are, the less vulnerable you are to people with bad intentions. Contact Details Don’t post your phone number or email address on your homepage. Think about it – why would anyone actually need this info when they can message you privately?
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chatting
contacts list, so they cannot message you.
Chat rooms or chat areas on websites are a great way to stay in touch and meet people. However, there are some things that you should be aware of.
Saving Conversations It’s also a good idea to learn how to save conversations. This way, if anything weird or dodgy happens, you have evidence of it and you can show it to an adult you trust, a teacher or the police.
Use a nickname or your initials instead of your name. Consider changing your photo to a cool graphic or picture of your favourite band, that way strangers won’t have access to a picture of you. Lying on the internet Even if you’ve been chatting to the same person for ages and you feel like you know them, remember it’s very easy to lie on the internet and there is no way of knowing if someone is telling the truth. Even if someone shows you a photo of themselves, this could be a picture of someone else or could be faked. This applies to webcam or video footage too; seeing a person in a video, does not mean it’s them. Sharing Information Be careful not to share too much information with other people in chat rooms. You don’t know who could be listening in or what they might do with that information. If you wouldn’t be comfortable yelling it out in a crowded room, it is probably best not to write it in a chat room. Adults With Bad Intentions There are some adults who will try to get in touch with young people and children because they have bad intentions. Bear this in mind whilst you use chat areas. If anything makes you suspicious tell an adult you trust or report any serious concerns to the police on 20072500. You could also phone Childline on 8008 between 6pm-10pm. Blocking Contacts Make sure you know how to block contacts. They will not be told you have blocked them; you will just appear offline in their
Hacking If you think someone has hacked into your account – report it to the people who run the site. Look out for this icon on other websites. This means that you can report abuse directly to CEOP from those sites. For example, MSN Live Messenger has a tab with this icon on it: Your Contact List Make sure the people on your contact list are people you really know in person as some people you meet online may not be who they say they are. Using a Webcam Webcam images can be recorded and copied, and also shared with other people, so the best thing to do is not use a webcam with people you don’t know in person. Some people will try to speak to young people using IM because they have bad intentions, and they can fake webcam images and pretend to be someone else to try and trick you. If you feel worried about this, make sure you tell to a trusted adult or report to the police on 20072500. You could also phone Childline on 8008 between 6pm-10pm.
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m o b il e s Your Mobile Number It’s a good idea to only give who your number out to friends you know in person. given If your mobile number is w, kno ’t don you that to people they may hassle you. This is your why it’s also best not to put r you of le profi number on the o, social networking site (like Beb ok). ebo Fac and MySpace Camera Phones ne Whilst having a camera pho is cool and useful, be careful if you share your photos with others. or Pictures can be changed ut shared around, so think abo you what the image is and who press are sending it to, before you out send. Once it’s out there it’s there forever!
gaming nge It’s also a good idea to cha ult your password from the defa ’t setting of 0000 so people can guess it. Text Messages d If you are receiving unwante the call can you s, text or insulting police on 20072500 or contact Gibtelecom to change your mobile number. You could also een phone Childline on 8008 betw m. 6pm-10p
Remember: You don’t need to share personal information to enjoy the game!
Private - If you want your blog to be private remember to password protect it, so only people you invite can view it.
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Proof-read and spell-check your e-mails. As boring as this may sound, many messages are never understood or are misunderstood because people left out words, said things unclearly, or misspelled words. While your
• Make sure you remember whilst playing, that people are not always who they say they are.
Depending on the content you want to blog about, you need to decide whether you want your blog to be private or public:
T E N R E T IN S E L U R N E D L O G Is it worth sending? Don’t waste peoples’ time or bandwidth with junk, chain emails and false rumours.
Use a nickname as your username/ character name
• Be careful that you don’t get tricked or blackmailed to give out any personal details like: • your IM address • your email address • your photo • your real name • where you go to school
blogs
Bluetooth that It’s important to be aware h, unless you lock your Bluetoot ess acc can area the in one any r things in your phone, like you contacts. If you don’t want to share this information with strangers (why would you?!), r then make sure you lock you Bluetooth.
Correct destination Make sure you are sending things to the right place and that the right person gets it.
Online games where you chat and interact with people you don’t know can be great - but there are risks too.
e-mails don’t have to be formal works of art, you should make them clear. Don’t attack others online. And don’t say anything that could be considered insulting or that is controversial. Fowarding messages Don’t forward other people’s e-mails without their permission or share their personal information. Are you angry? If so, wait until you are calmer and then re-read the message
Public - If you want your blog to be public, make sure: • You don’t publish pictures of you or your friends • You don’t give out information that’s personal, including: private thoughts, your full name, age or address. Don’t reply to spam If you reply, one of two things happens. (1) You either have sent a reply to a fake address they have used to send the e-mails from, (2) or you have now let them know that your address is an active one and you will receive many more messages.
How private is the message you are sending? Are you willing to have others read this message or forward it to others without your permission? If not, don’t send it.
2. Someone sends you a mean text on your phone. Do you: A) Decide to delete it B) Text back and tell them to leave you alone C) Feel confused and then save it. You’ll think about it later D) Send them a mean text back E) Immediately tell your parents, teacher or Childline
3. Someone sends you a spiteful message on instant messenger. How do you react?
A) Ignore it and start chatting to someone else? B) Reply back to them and find out what their problem is C) Shut down the computer and hope they’ll leave you alone in future D) Report them to the Internet Service Provider E) Go to an older person or talk to Childline, and let them know you feel uncomfortable
4. If you feel like someone is cyber bullying you, who would you go to for help? A) No one, you can deal with it B) Get a friend to join in against them C) If it gets really bad you might tell a parent or teacher D) The internet provider or the social networking site E) Parent, teacher, police officer or Childline
A) You hear about a friend being cyberbullied but you tell them to ignore it because it’s not that serious B) Passing on someone’s pictures or details without them knowing, or even if they’ve asked you not to C) Voting for someone in an insulting online poll D) Joining in with the insults even in a small way E) b, c and d.
7. Is cyberbullying more invisible than face to face bullying?
A) Yes, you often can’t tell who the cyberbullies are B) Even if everyone knows who they are, you feel more detached because you can’t see each other’s reactions C) It isn’t really but it can feel more scary because you don’t immediately know who is contacting you D) If you report the incidents to your internet service and social network providers they can locate the address the email’s have been sent from E) Cyberbullying always leaves cyber footprints. Both the person who generated the bullying messages and anyone else’s who joined in.
Mostly As not a clue ! Ignoring mea n or hurt ful messages or other form s of cyb erbu llying can sound like the best option as sometimes bullies will be contacting you spontaneously and randomly. They may get bored if they get no answer, but it can allo w the situation to get worse. If you are sca red or concerned, don’t let the situation dev elop - contact Childline on 8008 betw een 6pm-10pm for more help.
A) I don’t - it doesn’t affect me B) It’s when someone is excluded from an online group on purpose C) It’s when rude, angry or gossipy messages are sent on the text or online D) It’s bullying that can be tracked because it leaves cyber footprints E) b, c and d
5. Sometimes people encourage cyber bullying without even being aware of it. Which of these would you say could make a situation worse?
Mostly Bs - get clued up! Reacting to a cyberbu lly by sending back rude messages will mak e the situation worse, and means that you are sinking to thei r leve l. Also , som e actions like sending pict ures or igno ring som eone, may seem funn y or harm less , but could be very upsettin g for som e peo ple. You need to put you rsel f in the sho es of someone who is being bullied - how you would feel if you got the same trea tment? If you feel uncomfortable don’t tell the cyberbully, tell a parent, teacher or even the schools’ police liason officer. You can also talk to Childline on 8008 betw een 6pm-10pm for more help.
1. What do you think of when you hear the term ‘cyber bullying’?
how y0u scored
Mostly Cs - read the clues! Is it still bullying when you can’t see the person that’s bullying you? The answer is yes! Cyberbullying can feel confusing and scary, so if somethi ng makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t feel like you’re over reac ting . It’s alw ays bes t to go to someone older and tell them what’s happening. You can also talk to Chi ldline on 8008 between 6pm-10pm for more help.
Did you know that cyber bullying has affected almost a third of 11-16 year olds at least once? How would you react? Tests yourself to see how clued up you are about cyber bullying.
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008 to talk abou t anything that worries you.
Mostly Ds - getting the re! Sending messages that are in anyway offensive, purposely exc luding someone or joining in with any form of insult are all forms of cyberbullyin g. People can be banned from internet and social networking sites for cyberbullyin g but this can sometimes be used by the cyberbullies to falsely accuse innocen t parties. If you or someone you know is being cyberbullied, tell someone who will know the best way to put a stop to it befo re it gets any worse. You can call the Police on 20072500 or you can also talk to Chi ldline on 8008 between 6pm-10pm for more help.
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Mos tly Es you kno w where it’s at! Cyberbu llyn g is bull ying . You wouldn’t say som ethi ng onli ne or on a mobile phone that you wou ldn’ t say to someone’s face. Don’t help cyberbu llies. Joining in, even if it doesn’t seem all that serious can add to someone’s distress and isolation. Although it see ms anonymous, cyberbullying leaves trac es and can lead to being banned from an internet or social networking site and to action being taken by your school or even by the police. If you would like more info rmation, talk to Childline on 8008 betw een 6pm-10pm for more help. You can also contact the police on 20072500.
cyber-bully
Remember th at you can phone C hildline everyday be tween