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NOT IN MY FAMILY - PART FOUR / HOPE AND DIGNITY OPIOID ADDICTION TREATMENT AND RECOVERY IN OUR COMMUNITY
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ASK 30 WOMEN WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF THE PERFECT VALENTINE'S DAY?
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HAVING A BEER WITH / JOHN LAMB LOCAL MAN SURVIVES INTERVIEW IN BREWERY
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CAR CARE SHAKES, WOBBLES AND PULLS
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ON THE COVER / TODD RUZICKA IMMUNE TO THE EXPECTED
CONTENTS JAN-FEB 2018 / VOLUME 5, ISSUE 4
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FATHERS / MR. FULL-TIME DAD WINTER IN TODDLERVILLE THE LONG, SLOW JOURNEY OUT THE DOOR
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GIVING HEARTS DAY MORE THAN JUST RECEIVING
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LOCAL HERO / JAIL CHAPLAINS BRINGING JESUS TO JAIL... AND CHANGING LIVES IN THE PROCESS
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NOT IN MY FAMILY // PART FOUR
“The biggest key is to treat someone with addiction with respect and dignity and to not judge. And to provide them with hope so that they can believe in themselves.” — Connie Longie
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NOT IN MY FAMILY - PART 4
Hope and Dignity Opioid Addiction Treatment and Recovery in Our Community
WRITTEN BY: BRITTNEY GOODMAN
Seventy-eight people die every day in the United States from an opioid overdose, numbers that have nearly quadrupled since 1999. Although effective treatment exists in our community, only one in five people who currently need treatment for opioid use receives it. “The social stigma attached to addiction and recovery inflicts innumerable harms to individuals, families, organizations and communities,” stressed William White, addiction scholar. The Surgeon General’s 2016 report called for “a cultural shift” regarding addiction: “For far too long, too many in our country have viewed addiction as a moral failing. This unfortunate stigma has created an added burden of shame that has made people with substance use disorders less likely to come forward and seek help.” Connie Longie is a certified addiction counselor with Prairie St. John’s. Licensed in Minnesota and North Dakota, Longie has been in the field since 2000. The numbers of people seeking help with an opioid addiction, particularly heroin, are increasing. Some people, Longie said, also have “an addiction to using the needle itself,” which means even a blood draw or using a needle because of diabetes can be a trigger. For many, the hardest part of overcoming addiction is the withdrawal. Counseling, coupled with connecting people with helping services can be essential to recovery. According to Longie, “most addicts have other issues in their life that need to be addressed. Some people have traumas that are unresolved. Many have relationship, social, economic and a multitude of other issues to be addressed. Some are homeless.” The government agency, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration has
published “Eight Dimensions of Wellness.” Longie recommended all eight be addressed for “a successful, sustained recovery”: emotional, environmental, financial, intellectual, occupational, physical, social and spiritual. Longie said: “I have seen people recover and I’ve seen people have to come back for repeat services. Even after near death experiences, people may go back to using. The key to success is to have wraparound care services that address their needs.” “The biggest key is to treat someone with addiction with respect and dignity and to not judge. And to provide them with hope so that they can believe in themselves. They are deserving of respect rather than stigma and punishment. They need safety and structure and being connected to supports in the community,” Longie asserted. Longie explained: “I love what I do and I do what I do because I have a passion for people who have lost their way. I have been in recovery for numerous years. I’ve seen people succeed. It is wonderful to see the amazing changes in those people and the confidence they have in themselves and gratifying to be able to guide and connect them to services so that they have a continuum of care.” Many people addicted to opioids also need help with safe housing. Longie said: “We need more transitional living services. They need to have that safety and structure. Many have burned bridges through their addictions and need a second chance.” She asserted: “The key for working in the addiction counseling field is not to judge. When you see people have to come back in, to repeat services, you have to show them that you care, do not judge, encourage them to change and believe in them. I have people who have been through counseling with me come up
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NOT IN MY FAMILY // PART FOUR
to me and thank me. But I always say ‘you did the work.’ I give them back the empowerment. Keeping humble in the field is important.” Longie called for new perspectives: “Don’t look down on them. Look at it as an illness. You don’t label a diabetic because their levels are up due to that extra pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. It happens across all walks of life: doctors, lawyers, clergy, teachers, mothers, fathers, grandparents.” Longie affirmed: “If we treat the addict with dignity and respect, along with working on the areas of wellness that need to be addressed, we will have a higher recovery success rate.” Eric Bailly oversees the substance use disorder strategy for Anthem, 8 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
Inc. with an emphasis on opioid addiction strategy. He is a licensed alcohol and drug counselor in Minnesota. Bailly has worked in a number of clinical and treatment settings for the past 20 years. Nationally, Bailly has seen creative and improved strategies for helping people with opioid addiction and other substance use disorders. For instance, in Connecticut and New Hampshire Anthem works with AWARE Recovery which delivers treatment in the home with psychiatric, case management, peer recovery support and counseling: “It’s a great model that embraces people in their home, recognizing the impact of social determinants of health. It is much more effective to work with people at home in their own context.”
Another improvement is in rural and chronically underserved areas. Clinicians are able to leverage video case consultation to connect with experts. Bailly sees a future with increased telemedicine for addiction and mental health services: “In these circumstances, a provider can get much of the support they need through videoconferencing to subject experts.” Bailly cautioned against treatment centers that can “take advantage of vulnerable people” by offering big promises and beachside resorts but no evidence of sound treatment strategies or results and calls for holding them “accountable for demonstrating outcomes and efficacy.” Bailly explained his drive to
working with substance use disorders: “I’m a person in long-term recovery since 1990. Some people will say I hit the wall or the bottom at a very young age, 18, when I made a commitment to turning things around. I made a decision pretty early on that I wanted a career to focus on helping those with addictions. The underlying thread for me, as a recovering person, is that I care. I really do.” Both Bailly and Longie see naloxone training as important. Bailly said: “Although the jarring mental image some people have of addicts is on the street, there are a number of senior citizens using a lot of opioids. For instance, for a professional working in a senior care center, knowing the signs of overdose is important and knowing how to administer naloxone is also invaluable.” Bailly suggested that, under certain circumstances, doctors who prescribe high levels of opioids for pain to senior citizens or others should prescribe a co-prescription of naloxone. Bailly recommended the National Urban League’s website whatsupwithopioids. org, supporting community conversation about the risks associated with opioids. There is hope. Fargo-Moorhead is making a concerted effort to end opioid addiction. The Mayor’s Blue Ribbon Commission on Addiction recently presented emerging recommendations for prevention, early intervention, treatment and recovery. The commission has begun expert panels and community talks and also plans to create transitional housing for people in treatment programs. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 9
Ask 30 WOMEN WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF THE PERFECT VALENTINE'S DAY? Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Causing millions of men to go into a gift buying, dinner planning panic!
But wait... Is this enough? Will she appreciate the effort? Fear not gentlemen, The Good Life Men’s Magazine is here to help!
You spend time in an awkward card buying stance next to men with the same card purchasing anxiety. You find the perfect card, look at the back, check the price and off you go! The perfect card in 3.3 seconds. Well done sir!
We asked 30 women from various walks of life, "What is your idea of the perfect Valentine's Day?"
flowers hitting the gun range clean house simple dinner bottle of wine watching movies holding hands steak a new puppy LADIES – If you would like to participate in our next Ask 30 Women, follow us on our Facebook page at: http://www.facebook. com/urbantoadmedia 10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
1. Roses, a heart-shaped pizza and a movie. – Jane D. 2. A home cooked meal at home with a little present that is homemade and meaningful. – Krista D. 3. Romance is for suckers. “Galentines” day all the way. – Carlie B. 4. Jimmy John's delivered for lunch, stay home, cook together and watch a movie. – Shelby S. 5. Flowers at work, coming home to a dinner made and doing the dishes while I relax. – Shanna P. 6. Going out for dinner and spending time with my husband. – Sonja 7. A quiet dinner. – Crystal C. 8. Any type of small thoughtful
surprise. A single flower or a thought out card. – Pam S. 9. Holding hands and having a glass of wine. – Kathy L. 10. Being with the person that means the most to you. – Cindy C. 11. Stay in and watch a movie, and order in take out. – Alexis N. 12. A simple dinner somewhere quiet, a walk after and a late movie. – Jenifer W. 13. Sitting by the fire, my husband cooking my favorite meal, and enjoying a bottle of wine snuggled up together. – Brie B. 14. House cleaned would be great! – Deniece M. 15. A nice quiet dinner at home that I don’t have to cook and a new puppy! – Alex T.
16. Staying in and having someone cook for me. And chocolate! – Heather T. 17. A perfect Valentine’s Day is with a little surprise for me. Does not have to anything big, and a little attention. A date in a nice restaurant or he cooks something delicious and we sit at a fancy table setting. – Lena W. 18. I will never scoff about getting flowers or a plant delivered to my work. I love flowers and plants and will proudly display them. – Amanda G. 19. Having a nice dinner at home followed by an evening of watching some of our favorite old movies together. – Michelle H. 20. A concert . – Alex S.
21. Spending the evening with my husband, getting some flowers, having a nice supper with some wine and watching a movie at home. – Connie N. 22. Me and the old man, a concert in a small venue, drinks, and a really good steak. – Gretchen P. 23. My perfect Valentine's day is spent at home with my husband and the dogs. I'd cook a nice supper – steak or something – and then we'd watch movies and drink beer. – Darcy W. 24. A nice quiet day with my husband and zero responsibilities. Roses are overpriced and cliché so I prefer a more creative bouquet. Alongside a bottle of wine. – Gina B.
25. Flowers, perfume and chocolate. – Michelle B. 26. An alone day with my honey doing something we both enjoy. – Beth R. 27. Spend time relaxing, watching a movie, or hanging out. – Jojo 28. Walking the dog, taking a trip, hitting the gun range, baking cookies - anything that gives us time to enjoy each other’s company. The best gift is something simple and small. A pint of my favorite ice cream. – Teresa T. 29. A sweet card and romantic dinner with my love. – Patty N. 30. A nice dinner and a yummy dessert. Then head home and be with our fur babies the rest of the night. – Molly K. / THE GOOD LIFE / 11 urbantoadmedia.com
HAVING A BEER WITH // JOHN LAMB
Every week, John Lamb, a content provider for Forum Communications, supplies the F-M area with the latest news on arts, entertainment, culture and events in town— the things that make Fargo more chic, relevant and “hipper” than it was 20 years ago. He’s a seasoned Fargoan, and besides his time living in the incomparable city of Duluth, Minn., he’s 12 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
always lodged within a mile of the house in which he grew up. Although Lamb has inadvertently avoided eating hotdish his entire life, he wasn’t able to elude this interview with yours truly at Drekker Brewing Company. Read on to learn the usual unusuals about the local writer.
LAMPCHOP • L-CHOP • EL-CHOPO • LAMMERS Good Life: Do people perpetually annoy you with wordplays of your last name? John Lamb: Sometimes. Sports guys do. The mom of my best friend growing up would call me Lambchop. And then Lambchop became L-Chop, and then L-Chop became El-Chopo—I didn’t deserve that one. Some of my friends call me Lammers, but they never put the B in there. Most people go full name: John Lamb. Not even a pause. John Lamb. GL: Do you beat people up in dark alleys for calling you those nicknames, or do you like them? JL: Oh, I couldn’t beat anybody up. I live up to my name with that. I would gnaw at people and just eat all their food and shed, but I would not beat anybody up. And none of the names have provoked any kind of fist-to-cuff or anything like that. I’d probably drink their beer when they’re not looking. Sneaky consumption. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 13
HAVING A BEER WITH // JOHN LAMB
HOTDISH Would you consider lasagna a hotdish? – John Lamb GL: What’s your favorite hotdish? JL: Would you consider lasagna a hotdish? GL: Umm, no. It needs to be more like Campbell’s soup mixed with something or other. JL: Ya know, I grew up in a house where my mom never did that, and my dad mostly just liked a hunk of meat or eggs. We never really did hotdish. GL: So never any tator tot hotdish? JL: I don’t know if I’ve ever actually had that. My girlfriend says we’re going to make it sometime, and I’m like, yeah, bring it on. Let’s do it. What are some other notable hotdishes? GL: I can’t think of any names for any other ones because you pretty much just throw stuff together. JL: Like noodle koodle. GL: Yeah, like noodle koodle, dippity doodle. Just whatever oodle. JL: I’m probably going to have my Midwest card revoked, aren’t I? I’m going to have to go through a remedial course, and I‘ll probably have to go ice fishing again. GL: You’ll be ejected from the Midwest. JL: I’ll have my badge or belt buckle taken away. They’ll have to sand the North Dakota tattoo off my arm. I should’ve just eaten the hotdish. GL: It could’ve been so simple, John. JL: That’s what we should say: Just eat the hotdish. Take the hotdish. GL: Leave the gun, take the hotdish. JL: Yes, exactly. Good catch.
THE GOOD LIFE The good life for me would be going to another city, having a good day, and being able to come back to a job I like, having a place where I like to live, and kind of just where everything makes me happy. – John Lamb 14 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
GL: How do you make your office space/cubicle/quad cozy? JL: I don’t clean. There are piles and piles of papers and newspapers, lots of empty bottles, and, sometimes, empty coffee cups. On the little divider, I post cards that friends have sent or interesting postcards for events. GL: Which movie has spoken to you in such a way where it’s like, “This is my life” or “I can totally relate to that character”? JL: It certainly wouldn’t be a super-hero movie. It would be a movie about somebody who would interact with people regularly, but who would probably do fine just keeping to himself. He could go to lunch by himself and read a newspaper and even go out and have a drink by himself as he watches a band play at the VFW. This is
why no one is going to turn my life into a movie. GL: It would be more of a documentary. JL: Maybe it would be a music video. GL: Which song would it feature? JL: Maybe some Hold Steady songs, the ones that aren’t so druggy. GL: If you had to give us a headline of your week so far, what would it be? JL: Do I have to use the phrase “local man” in there? “Local man gets through ‘nother week.” Oh, it would be “Local man consoles dog after eating brick of Brie.” GL: Brick o’ Brie. That should be a band name. JL: That would be good ‘cause it could go either way; it could be about cheese or a person. It sounds like bric-à-brac. I don’t know what that is, but it’s fun to say. GL: Exactly. Now I just want to start a band called Brick o’ Brie. JL: Brick o’ Brie. Do it. I’ll give you a good write-up. If only more people realized they just needed to buy me drinks to get good coverage. GL: What’s one of your favorite types of writing? JL: This may sound really odd, but obituaries can be really kind of fulfilling. You’re kind of giving a little portrait of someone’s life. If it’s someone who was noteworthy, a newsmaker, you can look through their files and find out what they did that was remarkable and unique and write about why they’ll be missed. GL: What does living the good life mean to you? JL: The good life for me would be going to another city, having a good day, and being able to come back to a job I like, having a place where I like to live, and kind of just where everything makes me happy. If I’m not there, I’m pretty close. I think I got the big ones. I just need to figure out retirement funds. •
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WRITTEN BY: MATT LACHOWITZER
You’re on your way to work, driving your normal route and you start to feel a slight shift to the right. It’s a windy day so you pass it off as the wind, but as the week goes by you start noticing the shift becoming more noticeable. You now realize it must be more than just the wind, and may be something wrong with your vehicle. If you start to experience abnormal feelings while driving, like maybe you are feeling an unfamiliar vibration, an extra bumpy ride, or abnormal resistance, be sure to keep your hands on the wheel, feet on the pedals, and your eyes the road to try and detect the issue. Your own body is a great tool for feeling out vehicle problems, so it is essential to utilize this sense. Below you will find some descriptions of some of those uneasy feelings that your car might be making, telling you something is not quite right.
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Vibrating or Shaking If you are feeling some sort of vibrating or shaking sensation, it can be coming from several different places so make sure to inspect all possible conclusions before making assumptions. Check your wheels and tires, the shaking could mean that the tires are misaligned or unbalanced. These feelings can also indicate suspension failure or warped brake rotors. Vehicle vibration is one of the most common and bothersome problems and it can sneak up on you gradually or just suddenly happen.
Pulling or Leaning It can be quite a scare if you are driving and your vehicles begins to pull itself in an undesired direction on its own. Most often this feeling can suggest that there is an issue with the steering, tires, failed shocks, wheel bearing, linkage, or suspension. While there are several things that can cause this sensation, the most common one is low tire pressure, so make sure you check your tire pressure and fill up your tires if they are low and see if your pull lessens or gets worse. If the pulling persists, bring it in to a trusted automotive service center to test the issue.
Loose Steering / Difficult Turning If you are experiencing either increased resistance with the steering wheel or if it feels disconnected or loose, it can become much harder to control your vehicle safely. If this sounds like a familiar feeling, then you could be facing a steering or suspension issue. These components work to connect your front wheels to the steering wheel and chassis of your vehicle, which allows you to control your vehicle safely. If you are having difficulties turning because of resistance it could be an issue with the power steering system like low on power steering fluid, the pump, or the belt.
Spongy or Low Brake Pedal It is no argument that brakes are the most important safety function in your vehicle. Routine brake checks are vital for vehicle safety. Any indication of abnormalities with your brakes should be assessed immediately. Spongy brakes can be caused by air in the brake lines, lack of brake fluid, or even old brake fluid. Old brake fluid can be topped off but if it’s too old the fluid will absorb moisture, which will make it difficult for your vehicle to maintain its pressure which allows you to brake consistently. It is crucial that you are relying on all your senses to help indicate any possible issues. Make sure you are paying attention to those vibrations, extra bumpy rides, or resistance. Your safety while driving is important, and these feelings could be telling you something more than just hitting a pesky bump. Whether your vehicle is shaking, vibrating, or pulling to one side too much, it is important to stop by your trusted automotive service center to ensure that your vehicle is safe to drive. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 17
COVER // TODD RUZICKA
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WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR PHOTOGRAPHY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Todd Ruzicka never considered himself much of a risk taker, yet the thought of spending his life confined to a cubicle seemed riskier than the many times he’s sacrificed the illusion of security and stability. What Ruzicka wanted was a story to tell. After going on music tours with bands and moving to the United Kingdom, the Mayville, N.D., native has continually returned to the roots he laid down in Fargo-Moorhead when his family moved for his father’s previous position at MSUM. Since his last homecoming, he’s delved deeper into his solo project, Immune System, an industrial electronic band, and his music licensing company, Immunity Productions, as he connects more deeply with the community surrounding him.
Music in the Veins As a child enveloped in inspiration from musicians like Buddy Rich, the rhythms of the drums came naturally to Ruzicka. From listening to records to attending his father’s choral concerts, Ruzicka regularly pretended to conduct and play the drums on pillows. Throughout high school and college, Ruzicka played in local bands inside and outside of school. Although music was always his first love, he majored in English and mass communications at MSUM. But that didn’t deter the feral call of music from beckoning him. “After I got my English degree, I did the normal thing and joined a country cover band and hit the road. I hate country. But it was enjoyable urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 19
COVER // TODD RUZICKA
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because I loved the people I was with,” Ruzicka said. Following a three-year tour in the Midwest, Ruzicka joined other bands, moved to Chicago and moved back home. Eventually, he decided to reach out to a successful industrialelectronic band from Madison, Wisc., to let them know he was available to drum. The following day, he’d already received a message. “Hey, man. Are you serious?” Two days later, Ruzicka arrived in Madison. “I got there, we practiced once, and then the next time we played was in Denver for the first night of our national tour,” Ruzicka said. “That was a little nervewracking, but it was so much fun.”
Making Music Work Although many musicians are hesitant to turn hobbies into professions for fear of it becoming more a drudgery than a passion, making music his work has always been Ruzicka’s goal. “When I was living in the UK, there was a good chunk of time where I didn’t have an outlet at all. That was my most imbalanced time in life, creatively speaking. I was unhappy and physically unhealthy. I didn’t realize how important it was to me.” After suffering from that long lull, Ruzicka had to power his creative outlet once more, and in 2005, Immune System was born. It featured industrial-electronic mixes and exuded darker sounds and emotions than his past endeavors. “I didn’t have much of an idea of what I was doing when I started,” Ruzicka said. “I just had some software and went for it.” Since he began mixing music, his sound has evolved. His desire to continually learn has added maturity and depth to his projects.
Idols. I’m just experimenting with orchestral instrumentation. Writing a bassoon part—that’s new. I’m sort of branching out and my dad didn’t hate it, so it means it’s all right,” Ruzicka said with a laugh. After living in the UK for six years, Ruzicka returned to Fargo in 2011 and started a music licensing company called Immunity Productions, the more commercial offshoot of his solo project. He began the company out of interest and necessity as the music industry continued to grow more untamed and unpredictable. “Right now, music is my job, but it doesn’t mean I can always rely on it. I don’t think anyone can really count on it anymore in the music industry, even the bigger bands,” Ruzicka said. “A lot of people now call the music industry the Wild West. You do what you have to do. There are no record sales. A lot of bands now see themselves as traveling T-shirt salesmen, and they survive on merch. The reason I found my way into licensing is because it’s one of the remaining ways musicians can still make money from their art. I started studying it and just kind of jumped in to see if anybody could use my stuff.” While his work remains unpredictable, Ruzicka has had several pieces featured in video games, business videos, documentaries and indie films. “Often in films, a little bit of a song plays. That’s licensed music. The first company that used my music was for a film called ‘Kessler’s Lab.’ They used a huge chunk of one of my songs,” Ruzicka said.
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COVER // TODD RUZICKA
That’s what he now calls beginner’s luck. Due to the difficulty of being discovered in the ocean of fellow musicians, networking is a vital aspect of survival in the industry, and persistence a necessary virtue. But the unknowns add to the intrigue of his calling. “Ninety-nine times out of 100, you’ll either get ignored or rejected. You’re usually ignored completely. But every now and then you strike gold,” Ruzicka said. “You can’t take it personally, but at first you do.” Following the first indie film, the documentary and a video game for a company out of Singapore, Ruzicka licensed his music for a short film called “Free Ride” that circuited film festivals around the globe. “I got a call one night. The guy said, ‘Hey is this Todd from Immune System? This is Kevin. I make films. I’ve always wanted to use your music and now I can. Would you consider licensing something?’ I was like, ‘Let me think. Yeah.’ Sometimes you’re really firing on all cylinders, and other times it seems as though nobody wants your stuff at all. It’s up and down.”
Paying It Forward While producing and licensing music is a daily part of Ruzicka’s routine, teaching drum lessons and interacting with his students adds another layer of joy and fulfillment. “I always thought I would like teaching drums, but it turns out that I really love it,” Ruzicka said. “I’m insanely proud of all my students. When you connect with them and see that spark and that they get it, I get goose bumps.” Ruzicka hopes to pass along the same passion and knowledge that his great inspirations and colleagues have given and stirred in him. 22 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
"My father had a huge influence on me, in terms of discipline and musical professionalism. My first drum instructor, Mike Blake, was also super influential. He taught me the concept of having big ears and always listening to the other musicians I might be playing with,” Ruzicka said. “I’ve had a lot of people higher up in the industry who have been very generous to me and very willing to help when I’ve had questions, though they didn’t have to. It’s kind of along the lines of teaching drums; I want to share what I know. I'm still learning and it's a huge learning curve, but I'd like to help anyone who might be interested in this area of the music business.”
Taking the Right Path While Ruzicka never knows what will be on the next page, the mystery and challenge drives his curiosity and keeps him persistent as he follows his unique pathway in life. “I’m naturally kind of anxious, and I don’t see myself as a risk taker. But in looking back, that’s completely wrong because I’ve done a lot of weird things,” Ruzicka said. “Certainly, there’s an element of security that I don’t have that was instilled in me that I should have, but that’s not the route I chose. I’ve tried the everyday, 9-to-5, cubicle jobs, and they make me miserable. I can’t do it. This is really the only way I can be.” •
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FATHERS // MR. FULL-TIME DAD
WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON
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PHOTOGRAPHY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
At one point in my life, I held firm to the philosophy that if you can’t get ready to go — shower, shave, get dressed, etc. — within 15 minutes, you should consider yourself a mild failure. No matter how tired, stressed, lazy or hungover I might have been, I could always muster the wherewithal to get cleaned up and out the door on time. But that was before fatherhood really set in. For the first year or so of his life, Macklin was an immobile pile of dough that was relatively easy to manipulate. He maybe added five minutes to my 15-minute rule. His life was onesies, formula and spare diapers. It was predictable and entirely manageable. At the age of two, the process of getting us out the door is still manageable, but rarely predictable.
Winter, however, has changed the game even more. Cold conditions coupled with Mack’s expanding awareness of the world around him means we could be stuck in our entryway half the morning trying to wrestle on 72 layers of winter gear. The challenges are many… Winter Boots Getting velcro booties onto a limp newborn used to be my daily challenge, and it was cute. Winter boots are only cute once they’re walking out the door. At one point, Mack had four different pairs of winter boots, all of which were about as easy to get on as one of those full-body suits Olympic swimmers used to wear. We’ve since found a pair that were designed by what I’m going to call a modern day Isaac Newton, built with parents’ sanity in mind. Thanksgiving may be long over, but I will never stop giving thanks for these easy-on boots that Mack can now put on by himself. That one pair has given me back about eight minutes of my morning. Two Sizes Too Big Emily and I are a pragmatic couple. When you combine my frugality with her forward thinking, you end up with things like three pairs of snowpants that are all two sizes too big. Bought on sale with the future in mind, theoretically Mack should be set for at least one more year, with our wallets none the wiser. The problem comes in the daily execution of pulling on that extra foot of leg room. It’s a multi-step process that involves a few rounds of sitting then standing, then sitting again, and a whole lot of wiggling (and, on a good morning, a helpful amount of giggling). The oversized snow pants are too long to stand and put on, and, ironically, too long to put on sitting. It’s a weird in-between-world of I don’t know what. Parenthood. Myriad Mittens If a child’s wealth were measured in mittens, Mack would be king of winter wonderland. He’s got spare pairs at home, at school, in his diaper bag, in my jacket pocket and probably under the ottoman. Thankfully, I have convinced myself this is inevitable, as the first piece of winter gear to become soggy and utterly useless is whatever pair of mittens Mack puts on first. Spares are a necessity. In fact, “things you need duplicates of” should be the first chapter of any parenting book.
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Abundant Excitement You can’t fault a kid for wanting to get outside and play,
but trust me, I’ve certainly tried. Getting dressed to go outside in the winter may be the greatest test of a kid’s patience there is. Mack usually passes with flying colors, but there are days when his feet are already stomping the frozen snow before we even get down the stairs. The fact that I often would prefer to stay comfortably warm in my recliner instead of putting on my own snow pants also complicates things. “Begrudgingly” is a word Mack will learn years before his peers. Overstuffed Car Seat The last hurdle to going about our day is getting Mack, fully winter clothed, into his carseat. Everything gets bigger in the winter, except the car seat. It’s like squeezing toothpaste back into the tube. Arms get stuck, buckles go missing and minds get lost. I remember the day when I learned kids aren’t supposed to wear big winter jackets when strapped into their car seat, but that’s just not realistic here in the Upper Midwest. No rational parent would ever consider bringing their child out to the car without a jacket on in the middle of winter. Graco’s safety precautions be damned. I’d rather Mack be immobilized and uncomfortable than frozen and purple. I suppose the lesson I’m learning is one of patience. Like everything else in this life with a toddler, I’m forced to slow down and pay more attention than I otherwise would. Mack’s laser-like focus on fun helps me reconnect with all those things that also brought me joy at his age. For that, I am grateful… albeit not as punctual. •
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WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS
Teaming up with Dakota Medical Foundation and the Impact Foundation, Giving Hearts Day has been making an impression in our region for more than 10 years. Over 41 million dollars have been raised through GHD with 571 profiled charities and 100+ volunteer opportunities. “It is not just a giving day, we are trying to grow them to be exceptional charities for the long haul,” said Pat Traynor, Executive Director, Dakota Medical Foundation & Impact Foundation.
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This is not about how much you can or are willing to donate it is about helping your neighbor. GHD takes place every February right around Valentines Day, this year it falls on the 8th and takes place online. This was strategic because Valentines Day about showing others that you love and care for them. “We find people are generally good, and they want to help, but if you don’t ask it wont happen,” stated Traynor. “People want to give and we kind of create a platform for that to happen.”
Working alongside Traynor is Scott Holdman, the director of the Impact Institution.
“It is not just a giving day, we are trying to grow them to be exceptional charities for the long haul.” – Pat Traynor, Executive Director Dakota Medical Foundation and Impact Foundation
“Scott and I have been working together for 10 years and he is pivotal in all of this,” said Traynor. Holdman is an innovator in nonprofit fundraising who, through training and coaching, helps charities as they solve complex community challenges. “ I am so grateful and exceedingly proud of Scott and the work he has done here,” boasts Traynor. “Last year we had almost 22,000 individuals give, we had over 300 charities and they raised almost 10.7 million dollars,” Said Traynor. “This doesn’t happen unless you live in a very generous region, so our fundamental philosophy is you need to create those mediums for people to ask; people need to know about these causes.” Both Minnesota and North Dakota and ranked in the top 15 stated for volunteer rates based on the pooled data from the last four years and over 70 percent of the top 15 are from the Midwest region, which show that we are living in the most generous region in the United States.
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PHOTO BY: KAYLEIGH OMANG - DMF
“Charities are doing a spectacular job, credit goes to them for getting the word out and following their own path for fundraising or this wouldn’t happen.” There are many ways in which the DMF and GHD work to gain as much notoriety as they can. First, they begin with the 5 T’s: Transformation – Trends, Tactics, Tools, and Team. By transforming the minds of the organizations and teams, following trends, and using appropriate tactics and tools they are able to reach many more people. Next, they utilize social media. #GIVINGHEARTSDAY and #COUNTME are connected to this event and raise a lot of awareness. “Our job is to bring social
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media around; that is exciting because the fundamental thing is that people will give if they are asked,” reaffirms Traynor. “Charities are doing a spectacular job, credit goes to them for getting the word out and following their own path for fundraising or this wouldn’t happen.” Then, they follow up with the location of the event — online. Holding the event online makes hosting the even so much more convenient for people to donate.
Finally, the finish with the three R’s: Recruiting, Retaining, and Reaching. By finding earnest charities they are able to keep them in their inventory for GHD and the right volunteers are able to reach people willing and wanting to give back. Giving back doesn’t have to happen once a year, and we know that here in Fargo-Moorhead. You can find something charitable happening every day whether it is a food drive, riding motorcycles to raise awareness, or receiving free food, beer, or merchandise just for participating in events around the community. But it is events like GHD that really reminds you that when you have all of the right ingredients at just the right time you can make a big splash in the community and raise more than just money, but the spirits of those giving and receiving.
Medical Foundation or the Impact Institution. They will gladly speak with you about options in regards to your favorite charity. Most people want to give to what they are passionate about, and other want to find something to be passionate about. With Giving Hearts Day you can search through variety of causes and charities that are just waiting to hear from you. What is unique about it is that there is something for everyone. After all there is a reason it is called Giving Hearts Day, it attracts giving hearts. •
If you have a particular charities you want to see a part of this event don’t hesitate to contact the Dakota
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LOCAL HERO // JAIL CHAPLAINS
PHOTO BY: BEN WHITE
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WRITTEN BY: DANIELLE TEIGEN PHOTOGRAPHY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Chaplains JAIL Bringing Jesus to Jail... and Changing Lives in the Process
On a Thursday afternoon in November, the Cass County Sheriff’s Office team gathered at the jail for a lunch hosted by Jail Chaplains, a local nonprofit focused on providing inmates with spiritual support and sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus and jail? You read that right. Jail Chaplains is a small organization with a big mission, and God is literally changing lives through their work. At the lunch, officers and administrators chatted easily with one another as well as with Mike Sonju, full-time chaplain with the organization. He’s been with Jail Chaplains since 2007, and he’s seen countless inmates get involved in the organization’s programs in the Cass County Jail and walk out at the end of their sentence with a renewed purpose and a heart for Christ. Sonju works with a team of 30 volunteers who help lead the 20 hours of faith based programs offered weekly. “Jail is the end result of a problematic life that didn’t occur overnight, and it won’t go away overnight,” Sonju said. “The message is greater than the messenger. We want people to walk with God, and we help them get to that relationship, in any way we can.” One person who has been helped is Wil Dort. A Haitian native who came to Fargo in 1997 with his mother and two sisters, Dort’s early childhood was influenced by a voodoo priest father who required his children to attend church every Sunday (even though his father didn’t attend). Dort obeyed, but didn’t really believe in the message. His aunt was the only Christian he knew in Haiti and family often ridiculed her for her beliefs. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 31
LOCAL HERO // JAIL CHAPLAINS
“Anything good from these programs doesn’t come from us; it comes from God and the hope of His message.” Chaplain Mike Sonju, Jail Chaplains
Then, in 2006, he was arrested and jailed on drug charges and sentenced to nine months in the Cass County Jail. A light bulb went on. “I didn’t want that to be my life,” Dort said. So he immersed himself in the Jail Chaplains Bible study and met Sonju, setting in motion a friendship that would lead to Sonju officiating at his wedding and speaking on his behalf to a pardon board. “We were brought together on this journey, and Mike has been very involved with my walk with Christ,” Dort said. He recalled reading the
Bible in jail - it was the first book he’d ever finished. “I was praying for change and a better heart,” he said. “I wanted a sense of purpose.” During those first Bible study sessions together, Sonju saw that the young man was serious about making a new start. “Some people rise to the top and show a sincere desire for a new life and getting on with the life God has for them,” Sonju said. “I could see it in Will that he walked the walk and talked the talk. He had a lot going against him, but a life for
Christ was what he wanted.” Looking back on that time, Dort can see various ways God was working in his life - like when he was cutting a client’s hair on work release (from jail) at the local barber college and lamented that his financial aid was being revoked; the client asked him to join him in a barbershop he was opening even though Dort didn’t yet have a diploma.
Or when he felt God telling him to visit Haiti in 2012, so he did, having been reassured by social services that he’d be fine to travel on his green card despite having two class A felonies on his record. When he returned to the United States, he was detained and should have been incarcerated. But he wasn’t. Dort said God was at work there, and when he applied for a pardon 32 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“God made a way for me, and I need to take it serious while I’m here...I believe the reason we are here is to share the Gospel and its truth and light.” Will Dort, Jail Chaplains returned citizen
from the governor. Sonju and Capt. Andrew Frobig, Cass County jail administrator, spoke on his behalf, as well as former Gov. Ed Schafer. Despite the impressive lineup, the outlook for recommendation for a pardon seemed bleak, and only Dort’s faith in God buoyed him. And his faith came through for him. On the way back to Fargo from the Bismarck hearing, Dort received a phone call that he would be recommended for pardon. “Things like that just don’t happen,” Dort said. “God made a
way for me, and I need to take it serious while I’m here...I believe the reason we are here is to share the Gospel and its truth and light.” As the jail administrator, Frobig sees firsthand how inmates benefit from being in the Jail Chaplains programs. “They’re skeptical at first, but they’ll check it out,” Frobig says. “A lot of them haven’t had any support before so they don’t know what to expect. They have to be willing to be open and talk about their faith and personal issues with others;
it’s counter intuitive.” While Jail Chaplains hosts an array of programs that seem typical for a religious organization - Bible studies, ALPHA, church services, anger management, Stepping Up - it’s one of the atypical programs that seems to also have a profound effect on participants. Frobig said the knitting program offers inmates an opportunity learn a new skill and practice socializing, which can offer a constructive outlet for many of the individuals. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 33
LOCAL HERO // JAIL CHAPLAINS
For Jail Chaplains to achieve its mission, Executive Director Gerri Leach serves as a driving force. She’s been with the organization since May 2012, and she considers the role a “God appointment.” She had worked for a seed company for 27 years and then for The Salvation Army during the historic floods of 2009, 2010 and 2011. “God changed my heart (at The Salvation Army), and I didn’t realize how much he was preparing me,” she said. In her role at The Salvation Army, Leach had created relationships with churches, businesses, and law enforcement officers - all of which have been crucial in her role with Jail Chaplains. The core team of volunteers, staff and board members attend 16 different congregations in the area. The volunteer time invested equals more than 1,600 hours or 41 40-hour workweeks. Last year, attendance at Jail Chaplains programs was more than 11,000, which is an average weekly attendance of 300 inmates. For Leach, the good life is seeing the lives of men and women change. “I see the barriers some returning citizens (former inmates) have to overcome, and the joy and tenacity they approach it with is incredible,” she said. 34 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“It’s surprising, but we often have more men than women (in the program),” Frobig said. In an environment often fueled by testosterone and sadness, Frobig said it’s great to see many men laughing and enjoying themselves while they knit. Plus, it’s a special moment for them to be able to create something themselves they can offer as a gift to a loved one. Frobig said the officers and administrators watch for inmates who may benefit from talking with a chaplain, but they never impose any beliefs on anyone; additionally, they can connect inmates with a person from a different faith, if they request. The connections Jail Chaplains offers are extensive.
“The community connections are really starting to turn lives around,” Frobig said. “They never give up on anyone.” To show his gratitude to the organization that led him to a new life in Christ, Dort gives back to Jail Chaplains any way he can, whether that’s through volunteering for events, offering financial donations, sharing his story to encourage others, or connecting with other inmates and returned citizens through Bible studies. Sonju is quick to point out that people like Sheriff Paul Laney, Frobig and the other law enforcement and corrections officers are a “tremendous asset to this community.”
“I don’t know how they do it,” he said. “Without them, we wouldn’t have these programs...For people who are incarcerated, these (programs) are like bringing light into the darkness.” When it comes to the good life, Dort’s answer is simple: It’s a Christ-centered life. “A good life is finding contentment with the life God gave you, with the happiness God put in you because no one can take that from you,” he said. Sonju agrees. “A new life in Christ is a good life,” he said. “Jesus didn’t die on a cross to make bad people good but to make dead people live...the good life is abiding in Jesus Christ. Anything good from these programs doesn’t come from us; it comes from God and the hope of His message.” •
“A good life is finding contentment with the life God gave you, with the happiness God put in you because no one can take that from you.” Will Dort urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 35