MARCH-APRIL 2019
FREE TO A GOOD HOME
E FAT H
RS
You Might Be A Parent... WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON / MR. FULL-TIME DAD
I’m as indifferent as it gets towards Jeff Foxworthy, except on one account: the guy has managed to turn a single joke into a multi-million dollar, decades-long career. I’m not here to disparage anyone who likes his particular brand of comedy, but I am here to shamelessly rip him off with my own take on his now classic routine. Over the past three-and-a-half years of parenthood, Macklin’s mama and I have been casually taking notes on the multitude of lifestyle changes taking place one might otherwise miss if one weren’t paying attention. It’s easy to mark the bigger impacts of parenthood like lack of sleep, the emergence of grey hairs in your beard or the total and absolute loss of privacy. But every parent is well acquainted with that list. Today I offer a more subtle roundup of the amusing tweaks to your life as a parent. Scanning our list prior to writing this column, I came to an embarrassing realization: we may, in fact, be rednecks ourselves, overly concerned with snack foods. You’ll see... You might be a parent when… you have to keep the subtitles on while watching TV because you need to keep the volume at near imperceptible levels in order not to wake the sleeping child in the adjacent room. But it’s not so much the child, it’s the fact that you’re eating all the chips and junk food you can now only break out after said child goes to sleep. You might be a parent when… your candy stash suddenly becomes the potty treat stash. As soon as your kid knows where you’ve been hiding the treats, it’s game over. Those treats are now their reward, and while they can’t remember what you were just talking about five seconds ago, their recall when it comes to how many M&Ms were in the jar is bafflingly Rainman-esque. You might be a parent when… you have enough random snacks on your person to feed an entire work meeting when the vending machine breaks. Snacks in your purse. Snacks in your car. Snacks in your backpack. Most any meltdown can be averted with the right snack at the right time. One stick of minty gum alone has been known to save an entire road trip. You might be a parent when… you’re no longer annoyed by your parents’ inability to work their original model DVD player. Instead, you’re legitimately concerned that they won’t remember how to operate their grandchild’s car seat and you’ll come home to your 3-year-old watching cartoons in the garage still strapped in.
2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
You might be a parent when… things like “Peppa Pig Live” at the civic center seem like a great way to spend a Friday night. In reality, it’s a nightclub for toddlers complete with a hysterical crying girl in the bathroom cleaning vomit off her shirt, loud music blaring overhead and a $20 cover charge for a wrist band (or, in this case, a plastic light-up wand). You might be a parent when… you find yourself in a reverse hostage negotiation, trying to talk your way IN instead of out. “Think of how your friends are going to feel today if they have to go down the slides without you… you don’t want to let them down, do you? Come on, let’s at least go in and see what’s for breakfast.” You might be a parent when… poop becomes an acceptable talking point at the dinner table. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve got company, you cannot pass up the mind game opportunity to reinforce how fun it is to poop in the potty compared to your pants. You might be a parent when… “Costco” becomes date night. Next time you’re at the big box store, pay attention… that couple that’s got an empty cart slowly meandering through every single aisle as if the outside world has ceased to exist? They’re parents who’ve successfully lined up a trustworthy sitter. Sure, you give up the identity you’ve built up over the years, along with any credentials you may have earned, the moment you become a parent, but you’re now “Mom” or “Dad”... and no other title comes with so many rewards (or as many snacks). •
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3
VOLUME 6 • ISSUE 5
02
FATHERS / MR. FULL-TIME DAD YOU MIGHT BE A PARENT...
06
THE MAN BEHIND THE BENCH A GLIMPSE INTO LIFE AS A DISTRICT COURT JUDGE
10
HAVING A BEER WITH... TRAVIS HOPKINS
14
DANGEROUS JOBS SCUBA RECOVERY
18
ON THE COVER INSPIRING INDIVIDUAL JAKE HAILE HELPS PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH MORE THAN THEY THOUGHT POSSIBLE
24
STOVEPIPES ROCK AND ROLL FOR THE SOUL
28
ASK 30 WOMEN WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST ABOUT HIM?
30
LOCAL HERO F-M AMBULANCE HELP IS ON THE WAY
4 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
PUBLISHED BY Urban Toad Media LLP www.urbantoadmedia.com OWNER / PHOTOGRAPHER Darren Losee darren@urbantoadmedia.com OWNER / GRAPHIC DESIGNER Dawn Siewert dawn@urbantoadmedia.com
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Meghan Feir Brittney Goodman Ben Hanson Krissy Ness Danielle Teigen ADVERTISING INQUIRIES Darren Losee darren@urbantoadmedia.com
READ A PAST ISSUE issuu.com/thegoodlifemensmag FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK facebook.com/urbantoadmedia FOLLOW US TWITTER @urbantoadmedia
The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without permission. The Good Life Men’s Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views or policies of The Good Life Men’s Magazine.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 5
WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
THE MAN BEHIND THE BENCH
A Glimpse Into Life as a District Court Judge While much of the greater FargoMoorhead area was shut down or closing early for the day, the Cass County Courthouse in Fargo was open for business as usual in spite of the record cold snap that had gripped the region that last week of January 2019. It was so cold, the city called off garbage pickup for the day. Even the post office pulled its drivers off the road. So much for their motto, unofficial as it may be. When it’s that cold — cold enough to keep the biggest, toughest trucks 6 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
confined to their heated garages — you’d think a hot cup of coffee wouldn’t raise a bit of suspicion. You would think.
Marquart’s chambers, the mood was friendly and the good judge was a welcoming host eager to share some stories.
“Can’t let that coffee cup inside,” said the unnamed guard just doing her job. “It’s metal. Can’t bring it in. But you can leave it here and grab it on your way out.”
Starting Out … On the Campaign Trail
Sure, who needs warmth or comfort inside a courthouse when it’s minus thirty outside? Thankfully, up on the third floor inside District Court Judge Steven
It makes perfect sense that a judge was at one time a trial attorney, standing before the bench representing his clients. It feels altogether counterintuitive, however, to learn that the same judge was also at one point a candidate who had to campaign
for the job. Something about the gravitas of the job and the deference paid to the position makes it seem above the comparatively petty popularity contest that is today’s politics. Or perhaps it’s simply the notion of “winning” a seat on the bench that feels… well, wrong. "People were, for the most part, shocked that a judicial candidate came and knocked on their door," Marquart said. "They were very surprised by it, and I had some remarkable experiences. Once, I knocked on a door, a kid answered and said ‘Oh, come in! I'm studying and I've got this business law question, can you help me?' So I'm helping with that, his parents finally come in and start showing me pictures from their family vacation. I learned going door-to-door you can multiply by a factor of ten the amount of people you reach." Watching Marquart tell that story with a smile on his face, reliving the whole experience from fifteen years ago — he was first elected to the court in 2004 — it was easy to see why he continues to be reelected. He’s a natural public servant with an instinct to help out and do right. On the Job: Then & Now Now well into his third six-year term as a District Court Judge, Marquart has seen the court change in ways both obvious and subtle. To the observing public, the most obvious change has been a steady rise in the number of cases being heard. “We’ve gotten busier and busier,” Marquart said matter of factly. “The last hearing week, I had 101 arraignments in one week. These are new cases… 101. That’s a lot of people to see in one week.” Asked why the uptick in cases in recent years, Marquart said it’s a combination of factors. He credits the professionalism of the police force in their efforts to take more criminals off the streets, but he also recognizes it’s the simple mathematics of a growing population. “Fargo is getting bigger; I get that,” Marquart said, taking a meaningful pause before continuing. “One thing I want to dispel, though… we’ve had a lot of immigrants come into this country, and I think a lot of people out there think that urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 7
“Sure, some of the things in court aren’t so much fun. But some are. I love adoptions... everyone's happy in the courtroom with adoptions.” all these people commit crimes. I want to tell you it’s mostly white folks that we see in the courtroom.” The other, more subtle change that's taken place during Marquart's tenure has been the rapid increase in efficiency thanks to technology. It's been a much-needed innovation that has allowed the system to keep up with the burgeoning caseloads. “The electronic part has been a big change, and it all started with this software,” Marquart said, pointing to the flat screen monitor on the desk behind him. “I can type in a case number and see all of the documents relating to that case, which is a huge change from the old days when I’d send a law clerk 8 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
down to the clerk’s office to bring a paper file up. “And when I’m on the bench, I used to have a stack of files this high,” he said, lifting his hand high above his head. “Now I can see any document connected to the case right on my computer screen on my desk at the bench. We also use a lot of ITV [interactive television] in this courthouse, where they’re in the jail and just appearing before me on the TV. That perhaps has been the biggest change… the advancement in technology. It’s very efficient.” The Good, the Bad... and the After Hours In a job with a fair amount of
paperwork, it shouldn’t be a surprise to learn that Marquart’s favorite part of the gig is presiding over a courtroom. “I love being in court,” he said. “Sure, some of the things in court aren’t so much fun. But some are. I love adoptions... everyone's happy in the courtroom with adoptions. I also like my ordinary criminal appearance day and just knowing what’s going on in this community when you and I are sleeping. I often say this is the best job I’ve ever had.” The hard part comes when he sees the repeat offenders. Try as he might to see the hope in each case and give people their fair chance to improve their plight, Marquart
says a good nine out of ten people he sees before him — in criminal cases, at least — are what he calls professional troublemakers. “They have a history of getting in trouble and are just graduating from one level to another,” he explained. “I’m not there to fix these people’s problems. I apply the law.” But after the law has been applied… then what? How does a judge unwind after a day that may have found him handing down a life sentence — as Marquart did in the widely publicized 2011 case of Gene Kirkpatrick, who was convicted of plotting a murder-for-hire that killed Fargo dentist Philip Gattuso, his son-in-law?
WHY SHOULD I PRE-ARRANGE? • • • • • • •
Peace of mind knowing that the expenses for your funeral are handled. Easier for surviving family members to deal with the details of the funeral, including the financial burden if you choose to set aside funds. To make your wishes known to your family members. To have your funeral reflect your choices and lifestyle. You have no surviving family. If you set aside funds in a timely manner, they can be excluded from medical assistance limits. To take care of funeral expenses when faced with diminishing resources. Contact our Licensed Funeral Directors Michele or Jim, to discuss pre-arrangement options.
701-237-6441 • BOULGERFUNERALHOME.COM • FARGO
"I go home to a loving wife and forget what happened here, and for the most part I can do that," Marquart said with conviction. "Maybe it's a gift that I have but I don't think much about the decisions I make after I make them. It'd drive me crazy if I secondguessed everything." And what about fun? Are judges allowed to have fun? Marquart lets out a belly laugh when asked. “I just enjoy my time off,” he said. “I’m very happy to have grandkids moving back to town this spring… spending time with family is what I enjoy most.” Indeed, that’s the good life. Case closed. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 9
RI W
TT
EN
:M BY
AN
H
EG
FE
IR
H
•P
S TO O
:U BY
RB
AN
AD TO
M
IA
ED
10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
Travis Hopkins’ tale could aptly be called “There and Back Again: A Hopkins Tale,” but instead of quests in Middle Earth, the Jamestown native traveled back to Fargo after long and adventuresome stints in New York City, Las Vegas and Los Angeles. He had it all: long, black hair, piercings, a leather jacket, a drum set and a successful band. He probably even wore tattered, tight jeans with drumsticks in his back pocket. While touring with his band, Hopkins realized he had an interest in the behindthe-scenes work of band promotion and coordination. It also paid better. Since moving back to Fargo, Hopkins has continued using his marketing skills for a homebuilding company and a health and fitness center. He is also the host of The Side Stage Show on 95.9 KRFF, which features entertainers of varying niches, from rock musicians to animal communicators. While we didn’t partake in the brews at Drekker, we enjoyed the views from the loft area as we delved into the story of Hopkins’ life — as told in less than 40 minutes. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11
“My fiancé and I had a discussion. She wanted a Chihuahua and I wanted a pit bull, so we compromised and got the Chihuahua.”
Good Life: Are you more of a dog or hamster person? Travis Hopkins: I currently have my first dog ever. My fiancé and I had a discussion. She wanted a Chihuahua and I wanted a pit bull, so we compromised and got the Chihuahua. But I love that little thing. She’s 6 pounds of pure entertainment. She puts up with my antics and understands I’m a goofball. If I want to take a selfie, she’ll do this cute little pose and stay still. She knows me so well already. GL: What’s your hidden talent? TH: Well, speaking of dogs, I think I’m really good at barking. GL: Can I hear it? TH: (Imagine him barking really well in the middle of Brewhalla) GL: That was really good. TH: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Is there a dog in here?” GL: What’s your non-hidden talent? TH: I would have to say drums. I grew up in a musical family. My grandpa played with Lawrence Welk. My dad was a radio DJ, played in powwow groups, and was a drummer in small bands around the Midwest. I grew up with a musical influence and pushed it as far as I could. I’ve been told I’m one of the best steering-wheel drummers you’ve ever heard. GL: How did you go from being a musician to a marketer? TH: We were on tour on the East Coast and opening for folks like C.C. DeVille of Poison, Cinderella— older school bands. In that time, you learn how to do marketing and that nobody’s going to come to your show unless you’re promoting and advertising yourself. It led me to be the live music coordinator for the Hard Rock Café when I lived in New York City. I still loved playing drums, performing, touring and recording, but at some point, I didn’t want to be a broke musician and realized I was less broke when I was the coordinator. GL: How did you get into acting and on an episode of “The Sopranos”? TH: When I worked at the Hard Rock Café, there were casting agents that were always coming in after work. One of them approached me and asked, “Hey, are you an actor?” I just smiled and said no. The bartender, 12 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
who was an actress, said, “That’s an opportunity that just knocked that none of us ever get. You go back and tell him yes.” So I was like, “If he comes back, I’ll tell him yes.” A couple days later he came back and said, “Are you sure you’re not an actor? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you in something.” I finally went, “I am, actually. I just thought you were being weird.” He then wanted me to read for him right away, and in less than a week I was doing commercials for Got Milk? and Heineken Beer, and I was eventually on an episode of “The Sopranos.” GL: With all of that going on, why did you come back to Fargo? TH: I came back for family. I was raised by my mother and grandmother, from little on up. I came back for them because their health was starting to affect their day-to-day life. The least I could do was come back and start helping, start being more supportive. I’m happy to do it. We’ve always been extremely close, and it’s really exciting for me to have my mom so close and in my everyday life. GL: What’s your heritage? TH: I’m half Dakota Sioux and half German, so it’s always funny when people want to cast me for things. They look at me for a Native role, but they’re like, “Ahhh, you’re not quite dark enough.” And then they see me for a role that might be more Caucasian-based, but then I’m a little too ethnic. GL: What are you most proud of right now? TH: Honestly, I would have to say my family. I’m really proud of what everybody’s done, the things they’ve overcome, and what they’re growing into. GL: What does living the good life mean to you? TH: Obviously, everybody wants financial security and fun, but at the end of the day, do you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your stomach, health, happiness, and your family and friends? For me, the basic things make life good. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 13
14 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Scuba diving isn't exactly a hobby you find a lot of in the Midwest. When you pair that with a towing company and first responder training – you have Ryan Sherbrooke. Sherbrooke is the owner of Midwest Towing here in the FargoMoorhead area and has been a registered firefighter in Fargo for 3 years. "I love helping people," Said Sherbrooke. "I was an EMS full-time for thirteen years." Being the Lead Diver for his scuba recovery business he has seen his fair share of retrievals. They can be as small as rescuing a cellphone from the bottom of a lake to salvaging a pick-up truck from beneath icy waters. "If you break a water line in your house you know a plumber is coming," said Sherbrooke. "But, who do you call when you drop your car in 30 feet of water?" With many years of experience in a handful of occupations, Sherbrooke knows that you cannot do a job like this alone. "I gotta take my hat off to the North Dakota responders. They are so willing to jump in and help - they make our job so easy," said Sherbrooke. "The last thing we want is a diver in the water with no support." There are many benefits and risks when it comes to this job. Whether he is helping someone retrieve personal items lost when a vehicle went into the lake, or battling rapids in the icy Red River, Sherbrooke accepts the challenge because of his love for helping people. When people such as Sherbrooke use their talents and hobbies to help the good of the community and you see the local first responders back them up, it really makes you realize what a great community we are living in. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 15
If you are ever curious about what this operation looks like, they have uploaded videos and pictures of retrievals they have done over the years on their Facebook page. It is really quite an interesting thing to see. Not only are other vehicles involved but extractors and exothermic torches as well, and those can get as hot as 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit.
PHOTO S
SUBM IT
TED BY
: RYAN
SHERB R
OOKE
Sherbrooke and his fellow divers have done other jobs besides vehicle retrieval and the like. They have also been hired for such jobs as commercial diving for the city of West Fargo where they inspected the floodgates to make sure there was no debris or water escaping.
Sherbrooke seems to enjoy the variety of jobs he can get while utilizing his hobby of scuba diving, but it always seems to come back to wanting to help people.
“
If you break a water line in your house you know a plumber is coming. But, who do you call when you drop your car in 30 feet of water?" – Ryan Sherbrooke
"When we can recover that vehicle and personal private belongings that were lost, we just gave them back what they thought they lost forever," said Sherbrooke. There have been a few times in my life where I have lost something special to me in the lake and I wish I knew there was someone I could call to help retrieve it.
16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
Each job is a case-by-case situation and if Sherbrooke is unable to or unwilling to help for any reason he will happily recommend another company in town or the region to help with any and all situations. Midwest Towing and Recovery takes part in events throughout the year, for example, every February they take part in a staged water rescue for various charities for Giving Hearts Day, this year they raised money for CCRI. With all this community support and the desire to help others I know if I ever run into trouble that requires
a tow or a scuba recovery - I will definitely be calling Midwest Towing and Recovery. When asked what the good life means to Sherbrooke, of course, this is how he answered. “The good life means to me; giving back to those who provide every day to us all. Making a difference in one life, in my book, is living the good life,” said Sherbrooke. “You only leave behind your legacy in this life, if I've made a difference in someone else's life and given them hope and happiness, then I'd have to say that's the good life.” And what a good life he is providing for people in our community. •
“
The good life means to me; giving back to those who provide every day to us all. Making a difference in one life, in my book, is living the good life.” – Ryan Sherbrooke
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 17
18 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
JAKE HAILE HELPS PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH MORE THAN THEY THOUGHT POSSIBLE As a fitness coach, Jake Haile doesn’t care about what you can’t do.
or developmental disabilities, Parkinson’s disease or maybe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
But he will do everything he can to inspire you to realize everything you can do.
But athletes they are.
And inspire is exactly what he does. But so do all the incredible people Jake works with.
That altruistic attitude is evident immediately when Jake talks about his job. As a fitness trainer at TNT Kid’s Fitness and Gymnastics and operator of the No Limits program, Jake works with children and adults with some type of physical or developmental disability in a dedicated space that keeps them safe and with a program adapted
“They blow me away with their ability,” he said. The boxing program — which is a non-contact sport in this circumstance — gives individuals the skills necessary to box while actually fighting back against the disease. “The way I see it, these people have a boulder placed in front of their lives, and they could sit and stare at it, or they could choose to stand up and push the boulder out of the way,” Jake said. “I’m helping them be an active participant in the treatment of their Parkinson’s disease.”
“THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. IT’S ABOUT INSPIRING THEMSELVES AND MAKING THE COMMUNITY AROUND THEM BETTER.”
WRITTEN BY: DANIELLE TEIGEN
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Because Jake works with people who are often seen as the least likely folks to become serious athletes — they have physical
“This is not about me,” he said. “It’s about inspiring themselves and making the community around them better.”
to their individual abilities. In addition, he operates the Rock Steady Boxing program, where he teaches people with Parkinson’s Disease to box.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 19
Steve Holand is an athlete in the Rock Steady Boxing program, and he learned about the program about a year and a half ago from a family friend working in the health care field. Holand had been off his exercise routine for about 5 months, and he’d noticed his symptoms — most notably tremors and balance — were getting worse. Though he wanted to do something about it through exercise, Steve said he just couldn’t seem to get himself to the gym to work out. In November 2017, Steve joined the Rock Steady Boxing class and quickly realized how much he enjoyed the intense but fun workouts. “Jake has a natural upbeat coaching style, and it’s obvious that he is passionate about his work,” Steve said. “In class, he encourages us to push ourselves but respects each individual on how far they want to take it.” While Steve said getting to know the other athletes in the class has been an unexpected bonus of attending the class, the tangible benefits 20 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
are much more powerful. Steve said his Parkinson’s symptoms are much less troublesome, he’s in great shape and he rarely gets sick. Plus, lingering shoulder pain has disappeared and his feelings of depression have dissipated. “I think that is remarkable payback for a few hours invested each week,” Steve said.
That increase in self-esteem and an improved self-image is exactly why Jake enjoys his job. His first experience with helping someone realize how movement and fitness could improve self-esteem was more than 6 years ago when he was working for Community Living Services, an organization in Fargo that provides support services for
individuals with disabilities to live and work independently. Jake said he had a client who was about 12 or 13 years old and in need of motivation to get healthy. Jake said he just started playing basketball with the teenager, and the kid “woke up”. The more engaged the teen became in playing basketball, the less he experienced his violent behaviors. That’s when it clicked. Jake went to the director at CLS and asked if he could officially start a fitness program. He received the all clear and some funds to outfit a basic gym, and he started cycling people through the routine. “And people got happier,” he remembered. “It improved their quality of life and was making the community better.”
After he started bringing CLS clients to TNT Kid’s Fitness and Gymnastics to use their facilities and equipment, Jake partnered with the coaches of CrossFit Icehouse as well as TNT Kid’s Fitness and Gymnastics to create Fargomania. TNT hosted the October 2017 event, which featured individuals with special needs showcasing their athletic skills learned during an 8-week training cycle in four timed workouts at the event. Jake helped write the programming and watched the individuals achieve great things. “We were truly being in the moment with these people,” he said. Shortly after, TNT Kid’s Fitness and Gymnastics approached him about providing adapted fitness programs full time, and Jake jumped at the chance. After developing the program, Jake said TNT decided to seek a partner to make the program sustainable, and the Marv Bossart Foundation for Parkinson’s Support stepped in. “If you surround yourself with good people, then good things will find you,” Jake said. The partnership provided support and an outlet for participants for the Rock Steady Boxing program. “They are the most inspiring people,” Jake said. “When you are inspired, you become inspiring. I experience joy with them — how is that not the most intoxicating thing in life?” But Jake hasn’t always been this inspired, and he said it’s important for him to share that part of his story with people. He wants them to see that vulnerability is not weakness. Quite the opposite, actually. “To be vulnerable is to grow,” he said. And grow he has. As a young man growing up in Omaha, Nebraska, Jake said he was a “lost human being” who lacked self-esteem and was just trying to fit in all the time when his mother made him attend a conference where he met urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 21
some men from Fargo. Jake said they convinced him to move to Fargo, so he did. With just his possessions and some furniture in the back of his yellow pickup — nicknamed “Big Bird” — Jake uprooted his life from Nebraska to North Dakota. He started working in a commercial painting job and once his daughter Jaiden was born when he was only 20, Jake said he started to see life differently. He eventually enrolled at a technical school in a criminal justice program before realizing he wanted to reach people before they entered the criminal justice system. He enrolled at Minnesota State University Moorhead with the psychology program and put his love of movement to work for the university’s club lacrosse team. He completed his degree — which has an emphasis on behavior modification and special education — and used his experience operating an afterschool program to secure the job at CLS.
22 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“That’s where I found my passion, my passion for human beings,” he said. Jake noted that an important part of his story is the struggles he has faced — he has dyslexia and understands acutely what labels associated with disorders like that can do to a person, how they can limit what a person is truly capable of. He isn’t afraid to admit that he has struggled with depression and anxiety, and he is an advocate for mental health awareness and treatment. “I have high expectations for people regardless of those labels,” he said. “I can appreciate labels, but so many people with those labels have been told it’s okay not to do something because they have Parkinson’s, or because they think, ‘I am Parkinson’s.’ ” Helping people see past those labels and those limitations is what fuels Jake and drives his purpose. “They fill my cup,” he said.
In addition to working at TNT Kid’s Fitness and Gymnastics, Jake is also a CrossFit coach — his nickname “Omaha” honors his hometown — where he can instill a love of movement and inspire exceptional physical accomplishment in even more people. He also teaches Rock Steady Boxing offsite at an assisted living facility in Fargo, and he started offering a program specifically created to give veterans and active service men and women the space and support to control their own journey. “They sacrifice themselves for our country, and I have more respect for the armed forces than anything else,” Jake said. Jake is grateful to partner with the Brady Oberg Legacy Foundation to offer the program to veterans, and Oberg’s sister, Tracy Dunham, couldn’t be happier about the partnership. The decision was easy, she said, after seeing Jake’s passion for the veterans and how hard he works to develop a program that works for each veteran. His involvement has made “a huge difference because of his willingness to listen and advocate” for the veterans, Tracy said. Jake is quick to point out how many positive partnerships have allowed his work to happen. “I’ve been blessed and privileged by these collaborations of human beings wanting to make the world a better place,” Jake said. The first person he ever saw demonstrate unconditional love toward all people was his dad, and he emulates that love through his own work. Not only is his dad a mentor, but so are the people he works with. “They trust me enough to want to be inspired by me, and I get inspiration from that,” he said. He also mentioned the coaches at CrossFit Icehouse and their approach to movement and individual ability. “We don’t live to do fitness, we do fitness to live,” he said. That’s what living a good life is to Jake — waking up every day and having the opportunity to be excited about the people he works with and the quality of time he spends with his family, which includes his wife, Allison, and his daughters, Jaiden, 11, and Cynthia, 2. It’s about consciously making the world a better place. “Money and things have never made me happy,” Jake said. “And it’s not about what I will achieve when I look back at 80 or 90 years old; it’s did I do something every day to make the world better? It’s about being present in the moment every day. Experiences are everything.” And the experience of being around Jake Haile is remarkable because he exudes authenticity and positivity. He wants to show you everything you are capable of doing and being. Because that’s what truly matters. •
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 23
WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
If you have been paying any attention to Fargo’s local music scene in the past 18 months you will already be familiar with Stovepipes. The potential this band has is unreal, from the cohesiveness of the instruments to the powerful vocals. This group really knows how to put on a show and hold the attention of their audience. They describe themselves as rock and roll with classic rock influences. Cody Kostka, Mckay Galbrecht, and Jake Nosal had been playing music together for quite a few years before Nosal introduced Alex Phelps to the group. “I met Jake playing hockey in college and one thing led to another,” said Alex Phelps. “He invited me to a jam with the guys and kind of went from there.” Inviting Phelps to sing for the band really allowed bassist Kostka and guitarist Galbrecht to focus on playing their instruments without having to take on lead vocals, and Phelps really matched the vibe they were shooting for as a band. There is this sort of Led Zeppelin meets Jack White feeling that you get from their music, but you can absolutely tell they have a style that is unique to them and you know it the minute they start playing. “Medicine Man” off their new EP, Sparkle & Shine, is the perfect example of how they incorporate their musical influences into something of their own and it absolutely kills – along with the rest of their EP. Last year they played anywhere from 35 to 40 shows in Grand Forks, Fargo, and Detroit Lakes area. A few of their most memorable ones were when they played their first Open Mic Night at Sidestreet Bar and Grille in Fargo, “After getting that first one out of the way we got, what I would say, a very good response,” said basest Cody Kostka.
24 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“It’s cool to have played so many mixed bills with a band we never thought we would play with, and everyone is psyched to be there.” – Cody Kostka
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 25
Playing at the Hotel Shoreham was a big deal for drummer, Jake Nosal, “I’m from Detroit Lakes and the anticipation of playing for the hometown crowd and going back to a place where I used to watch bands play from behind the fence, because I wasn’t old enough and I was just working there was exciting.” They also opened up for The 4onthefloor at Drekkerfest 4 at their Brewhalla location. “I remember when we were
setting up and it was really packing out and people were showing up and didn’t have tickets because it was a sold out event. Seeing people get turned away was like, this is something, I can't believe this was happening,” said Phelps. Playing in Fargo's diverse music scene brings the opportunity for bands to play together that maybe wouldn’t otherwise.
“I can’t really give any credit to anyone other than the Fargo music scene, there are so many opportunities coming up it seems like. As long as you are just nice, it seems like, and genuine with people, and have a desire to be better at what you do, the community in this town is super welcoming.” – Alex Phelps
26 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“It’s cool to have played so many mixed bills with a band we never thought we would play with, and everyone is psyched to be there,” said Kostka. “As far as all the other local bands we’ve played with, not once have we had close to a negative experience with anyone.” Stovepipes have had success when it comes to their music, though other bands might give themselves all the credit for their hard work and determination, as they should, the members of Stovepipes credit their success to the Fargo music scene. “I can’t really give any credit to anyone other than the Fargo music scene, there are so many opportunities coming up it seems like. As long as you are just nice it seems like, and genuine with people, and have a desire to be better at what you do, the community in this town is super welcoming,” said Alex Phelps. December brought the release of their new EP, Sparkle & Shine, which you can find on Spotify, iTunes music store, or other major streaming sites. You can also find their EP at Orange Records in Downtown Fargo and Mothers’ Music in Moorhead. After this March, Stovepipes won’t have a gig lined up until summer, they are already talking about working on new music. “It’s been nice because we have been working on sets and now we can work on new music or refine what we have,” said Nosal. If you haven’t heard Stovepipes play, do yourself a favor and check them out. They were easy to find on Spotify so there really is no excuse not to, and I promise you will not be disappointed. Hey, they may even bring a little groove to your step; it is hard not to move when you hear their music. •
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 27
ASK 30 WOMEN
WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST ABOUT HIM? Gentlemen, you are irritating. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe, certain things you do are rather annoying to some people. Rest assured it’s not too late and we are here to help you through the process. The Good Life asked 30 random ladies… “What annoys you most about him?” Names were withheld to protect the innocent. Stop doing these little bothersome things and make the world a better place! 1. It drives me mad when he
doesn't rinse his prickly little hairs out of sink and counter top after shaving.
13. When he leaves his stuff laying all over. 14. Constantly talking and also
2. The way he chews his food.
pointing at things when he doesn’t need to.
3. Checking his phone every
15. Doesn’t wipe the toothpaste
other minute (turning it off and on making a clicking sound).
4. Pretending he’s listening to
me – when I know he’s not.
5. Cheering on sports players on TV. They can’t hear you! 6. Not flushing the toilet or
forgetting to close the lid.
7. Being late. 8. When he’s done doing the dishes (bless his heart, he is great at that) and he leaves the food trap full of disgusting scraps... for hours. So, as I scrape the dried-up gunk off the strainer, my mantra is “the dishes are done... the dishes are done.”
9. Lip smacking when he eats! Arrrggghhh! 10. Being stubborn. 11. Misplacing
everything – then claiming someone must have stolen it.
12. Breathing. 28 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
glob out of the sink.
18. Video games. 19. Spreading his germs when he’s sick. I’m pretty sure he touches every handle, button and remote in our home. Then he feels hurt when I follow him around with a can of Lysol. 20. Not going to the doctor
16. Clearing his throat
until he’s dying.
17. Asking me to put his things
21. When he doesn’t use the bathroom spray.
continuously.
in my purse.
22. Making gulping noises when he’s drinking.
23. Interrupts me when I’m speaking to others.
24. Mouth breather. 25. He doesn’t know where we keep anything. Tape, scissors, light bulbs, etc. 26. Not making his side of the bed.
27. Wearing clothes until they are falling apart.
28. Burping loudly and then acting disgusted when I do it.
29. His family. 30. Turning the channel in the middle of a TV show I'm watching so he can watch sports.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 29
LOCAL HERO
F-M AMBULANCE HELP IS ON THE WAY WRITTEN BY: BRITTNEY GOODMAN
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Not all heroes wear capes, they say. I say, after learning about the efforts of a dedicated group of people, some of them wear Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) uniforms and work for F-M Ambulance, an Emergency Medical Services (EMS) provider, headquartered in Fargo. You will be grateful for their skilled, caring service if you ever need them. F-M Ambulance will be celebrating its 60th year of providing service to our region. F-M Ambulance began in 1959 by private owners. It started with a location in Moorhead. Its base stations then moved twice – first 30 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
to 1101 1st Ave. S, Fargo and then its current location of 2215 18th St. S., Fargo, which was built in preparations for Y2K and opened officially on New Year’s Eve, 1999, where it has remained. F-M Ambulance Service is a wholly owned subsidiary of Sanford Health Systems. Don Martin, the current Communications Manager and Public Information Officer for F-M Ambulance, holding that position since 2007, has been with the company since 1994, starting as an (EMT) Intermediate. He described
his duties as, “overseeing the dispatch center, ensuring all the equipment and staff is working at full potential and that ambulances and specialty transport vehicles are being dispatched and sent on calls accordingly.” Martin described their work as critical: “We provide a crucial and critical service – advanced life support to the community. We provide a level of excellence that has improved throughout the years. Technology has changed and driven so much and allows us to provide better care. We have better outcomes and survival rates because of technology and
how we are continually improving our care.” F-M Ambulance has grown with the community to deal with its population growth. In 1994, they had 14,600 calls for service, which is 40 calls per day. In 2018, they had 31,443 calls for service, or 86 calls per day. In 1994, they only had four ambulances on the streets and they currently have twelve ambulances to cover calls. One dispatcher was on duty at the beginning, only Monday-Friday. Now FM-Ambulance has three dispatchers who handle the call volume and perform “Emergency Medical Dispatch” – triaging calls
and giving pre-arrival instructions to callers. They currently have 130 employees at the Fargo-Moorhead location. Their parent company, Sanford Health, has multiple emergency medical service sites throughout the region. In addition to ambulance services, F-M Ambulance also has disaster response vehicles including a Major Incident Transport Unit, Mobile Incident Command Post, and a Major Incident Response Unit with supplies to treat up to 100 patients. The service has been accredited by the Commission on Accreditation
IN 2018, F-M AMBULANCE
RECEIVED 31,433 CALLS FOR SERVICE OR 86 CALLS PER DAY
of Ambulance Services (CAAS) since 2004 and is the only accredited service in the state of North Dakota. They have received the American Heart Association (AHA) Gold Plus award for the
F-M AMBULANCE HAS A METRO-WIDE GOAL OF ARRIVING TO THE SCENE
AFTER BEING DISPATCHED IN UNDER 8
MINUTES, 59 SECONDS urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 31
LOCAL HERO We successfully get a patient who is having an active heart attack from their home to the cath lab in under 90 minutes. – Don Martin past four years. Martin explained what this award means: “We successfully get a patient who is having an active heart attack from their home to the cath lab in under 90 minutes.” When it comes to emergency care, time is critical. Martin explained, “FMAmbulance has a metro-wide goal of arriving on the scene after being dispatched in under 8 minutes 59 seconds. We average that at 97 percent of the time.” Martin has dreamed of being an EMT since an early age. “No kidding,” he said, “Ask my family.” He continued, “When I was five I knew I wanted to be an EMT. I 32 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
would collect Matchbox cars that were ambulances. Everything that had an ambulance I would collect. My aunt lived near Piggly Wiggly and we were so close to St. Luke’s Hospital, I would always run out to see the ambulances. I could tell by the sirens. My family would say this – I was always that way.” Born in Fargo and attending Fargo North High School, Martin divided his time between Fargo and the Turtle Mountain Band of Chippewa Reservation, of which he is a member: “I viewed Fargo as a boarding school.” “My Native American identity
is important to me,” explained Martin. “Being in Native culture, family is very important to me. I spend my holidays and as much time as I can with my family. It is very important to know where you come from. You can’t move forward if you don’t know where you came from. You don’t know where you are going. There is a difference between who you are and what you are. It is an everyday part of my life.” Part of that life experience includes volunteerism and community activities. He is a member of the F-M Ambulance Ceremonial Unit, the only EMT
You are a paramedic, but you also have to be a counselor and get them through that journey. The bedside manner is important to get them to the hospital, knowing they are not alone and you are going to be there with them. They are scared and anxious. It does not help the patient if you are also nervous. You can be sweating on the inside, but don’t let it show.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 33
LOCAL HERO
ceremonial unit in North Dakota. This group is asked to perform funeral services for EMS workers all over the state and region: “North Dakota, Northwest Minnesota and Northeast South Dakota, we go all over,” added Martin. He is also active in participating in powwows and has been serving as the chair of the F-M St. Patrick’s Parade Committee. For twelve years, Martin was on Fargo’s Native American Commission with a mission to be a conduit between the Native American community and Fargo and a liaison with different programs promoting Native American culture.” During the summer, Martin enjoys
his spot on Toad Lake: “I like being at the lake – the nature and the quiet.” Martin’s spends his spare time with his friends: “I am a social person – I like being out and experiencing life.” Martin explained how F-M Ambulance’s work impacts people: “When I think about what we do, there is a difference between seeing immediate change and seeing what happens afterward, down the road. You may not see it right away; it may take days, weeks or months. But it is rewarding when you see that whatever you did helped and made life better for that person.” For example, Martin has assisted with the delivery of eight babies during his time at F-M
Ambulance: “But the mothers do all of the work,” he insisted. When asked about the favorite part of his job, Martin said, “I like working with the people, with my coworkers, seeing that every day what I do makes a difference.” Martin described his work as “challenging: You never knowing what you are going to see or find, whether good or bad, and you have to be able to cope with it.” “In my role, we see a lot of bad things that happen to people. People are calling us at the worst times of their lives. Sometimes when you see a patient, yours might be the last face they see and the
"In my role, we see a lot of bad things that happen to people. People are calling us at the worst times of their lives. Sometimes when you see a patient, yours might be the last face they see and the last voice they hear." – Don Martin 34 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
last voice they hear,” Martin explained. He continued, “You are a paramedic, but you also have to be a counselor and get them through that journey. The bedside manner is important to get them to the hospital, knowing they are not alone and you are going to be there with them. They are scared and anxious. It does not help the patient if you are also nervous. You can be sweating on the inside, but don’t let it show.” Finally, Martin explained what “The Good Life” means to him: “It is being able to experience the journey of life with loved ones – friends and family – and having the experience altogether. It is facing all that life may give whether it be good or bad.” •
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 35