3
Turkey Tips for a
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! WHAT SIZE BIRD?
Allow cooked bird to sit for about 20 minutes before starting to carve.
You will need about 1.5 lbs of turkey per person if you want leftovers
Place the bird on a cutting board, breast side up.
To feed 4 to 6 people = 6 lb to 9 lb turkey To feed 8 to 10 people = 12 lb to 15 lb turkey To feed 12 to 14 people = 18 lb to 21 lb turkey 18 or more people = Buy two 12 lb to 15 lb turkeys
Remove the leg and thigh by cutting through the skin between the leg and body of the bird. Pry the leg away from the body and cut through the joints to remove each leg.
PLAN AHEAD Thaw your turkey, if frozen, in the fridge 24 hours per 5 lbs. of turkey
Separate the thigh from the drumstick.
A thawed turkey may be kept in the refrigerator for up to 4 days before cooking
REMOVE THE GIBLETS Remove the bag of giblets before cooking. DON’T LAUGH ... This happens more often than you think! The bag of giblets may be frozen inside the cavity. Allow to thaw or run warm water inside the bird for easier removal.
Remove the wings by prying away from the body and cutting through the joint.
Slice the breast meat by holding the knife parallel to center of breast bone. Starting on the outside of the breast cut slices while working your way up to the center with each slice.
DRYING THE SKIN Drying your bird thoroughly with paper towels helps crisp the skin. Drying inside the cavity is also important, and most people forget about it. Set the wishbone aside and allow to dry. 2
GOOD LUCK!
MAKE A WISH!
www.urbantoadmedia.com This holiday season Urban Toad Media LLP and The Good Life Men’s Magazine would like to thank all the members of our military and their families. Thank you for your sacrifice and your dedication. Please remember these brave men and woman who give so much every day. Don’t forget to add them to your holiday shopping list. Please consider a gift to one of the many charities that support our soldiers and their families. One less gift under your tree could make the world of difference to someone else.
Wounded Warrior Project www.woundedwarriorproject.org
Fisher House www.fisherhouse.org
Folds of Honor www.foldsofhonor.org
Soldier’s Angels www.soldiersangels.org
Veteran Tickets www.vettix.org
Operation Homefront www.operationhomefront.net
NOVEMBER-DECEMBER 2014 VOLUME 2 • ISSUE 3
CONTENTS
02 HOLIDAY GIFTS 03 TURKEY TIPS
FOR A HAPPY THANKSGIVING
ON THE COVER
18
PALMER FORNESS A TRUE SANTA FOR ALL SEASONS
FOR OUR MILITARY
18 06
HOW TO STOP & CHECK LIKE A HOCKEY PLAYER
12
IN EVERY ISSUE
24
FATHERS
30
LOCAL HERO: ART WILLIAMS
SINGLE DADS: IT’S A SMALL CLUB, RIGHT? HAS LEARNED TO LOVE THE GOOD LIFE
30 4
08
BIG BROTHERS, BIG SISTERS MAKING A DIFFERENCE, ONE KID AT A TIME
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YULETIDE WOES: HOW TO REACT WHEN YOU GET SHOCKINGLY BAD GIFTS
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Dawn Siewert dawn@urbantoadmedia.com PHOTOGRAPHY Darren Losee darren@urbantoadmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Soo Asheim Jessica Ballou Cantrell Meghan Feir Paul Hankel Shane Mercer
06 14
STOP! IT’S WEATHER TIME: RAIN, SLEET OR SNOW, WHEELER WILL KEEP YOU IN THE KNOW
PUBLISHED BY Urban Toad Media LLP www.urbantoadmedia.com /urbantoadmedia
14 26 FOOTBALL VS. FÜTBOL
THE NEW AMERICAN PASTIME VS. THE WORLD’S GAME
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READ AN ISSUE ONLINE: issuu.com/thegoodlifemensmag ADVERTISING SUBMISSIONS Urban Toad Media LLP 624 Main Avenue, Suite 7 Fargo, ND 58103 701-388-4506 | 701-261-9139 The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without permission. The Good Life Men’s Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views or policies of The Good Life Men’s Magazine.
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HOW TO STOP LIKE A HOCKEY PLAYER
HOW TO CHECK LIKE A HOCKEY PLAYER FOCUS Focus on the body of the person carrying the puck, not the puck itself. Determine the direction of your opponent. Skate at your opponent at an angle forcing him toward the boards. Avoid skating head-on into your opponent. A head-on collision may result in injuries. STANCE Keep your stance low, while maintaining your balance. Keep your hands and elbows down, as well as your stick. This will ensure a clean body check. Make sure you and your opponent are close enough to the boards to avoid injuries. A safe distance is under two feet. CHECKING While maintaining the same, or slightly faster speed than your opponent, drive him into the boards. This will keep you from bouncing off of your opponent or plowing him over, resulting in an injury. 6
BY: CANTRELL | PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA SPECIAL THANKS TO: ROB AASAND AND NIC SCHREINER
STARTING Start skating with your legs shoulder-width apart and knees slightly bent. PIVOT & PLANT FEET While facing forward pivot your hips, and turn on your front foot enough to begin stopping, and start to plant your back leg. STOPPING To stop, use the inside edge of your front skate blade, and outside edge of the back skate blade. The trick is to lean back, while keeping weight on the front leg, and digging in enough to spray ice. The most important things to remember are to keep moving in the direction that you are skating, maintaining balance, and paying attention to the angle of your blade. TIP If this is your first time trying to stop, hold onto the boards and push off with your leg and practice sliding your skate sideways.
TIP To avoid a trip to the penalty box, keep your checks clean. Never check from behind. This could result in serious injuries. Always keep your elbows and stick down to avoid a crosschecking or elbowing penalty. 7
of The Village Family Service Center
MAKING A DIFFERENCE ONE KID AT A TIME BY: SHANE MERCER | PHOTOS: SHANE MERCER
Sometimes things just click.
J
im McDonald had come to the Big Brothers Big Sisters office in Fargo to peruse the application information of three potential “littles” to decide who he wanted to mentor. One of those “applicants” was Joe. “The question at the bottom of all these applications or resumes of the kids was, ‘Is there a behavioral problem that is part of this kids’ character?’” said McDonald, who was unmarried at the time and had recently finished his studies at dental school. “And (Joe’s mom) wrote, ‘Nope, Joe’s a good kid, but I really have a devil of a time getting him to bed on Monday nights because of Monday Night Football.’” “And I said, ‘That’s my guy,’” McDonald recalled. “If he has a hard time going to bed because of Monday Night Football, this kid’s up my alley.” Joe Hamm was only about 7 or 8 years old at the time, but it was the start of an enduring friendship. Hamm is 8
38 now, and he and Jim still get together for lunch when Hamm comes in for a dental appointment. “He’s like a friend I’ve had my whole life,” McDonald said. The friendship between Jim and Joe is part of the legacy of Big Brothers Big Sisters in Fargo-Moorhead. BBBS matches young people who need a positive influence in their lives with adults who wish to be mentors. The national organization is more than a century old, and its roots in our community go back to 1966, when Big Brothers began at the YMCA. The Village Family Service Center brought it under its umbrella of operations in 1973, adding the Big Sisters portion of the program. Hamm came into the program after his parents divorced and he moved with his mother, Mary Hansen, from Illinois to Fargo. “I think there was a piece that I was missing since I grew up with a single parent,” Hamm said.
JEFF AND JARED
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“He’s like a friend I’ve had my whole life.” — Jim McDonald
Hansen felt her son needed the guidance of a male figure in his life. “I just asked him if he’d like to have a big brother, and he said he wanted a little brother,” Hansen said with a laugh. “He didn’t quite understand it.” But once he did, “he was really excited.” “He looked forward to doing everything with him, whether it was going over to his house and watching a football game or just talking to him on the phone or just getting together and going out for an ice cream cone, just the little things, he really looked forward to it all the time,” she said. And McDonald enjoyed the friendship too. “I just remember laughing, and just really enjoying this little guy’s company,” he said. “We had so much fun.” And what grew between them was a bit more than simple friendship. “It feels like he’s family,” Hamm said. “Family” is a word you also hear when you talk to
JOE AND JIM
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Jeff Olsen and his 9-yearold “little brother,” Jared Haven. “Jared asked me one time, ‘Could you be my big brother forever,” said Olsen, who owns Rusco Window Co. in Fargo. “I said, ‘Yeah, I can.’” “He’s more than a friend really,” Haven said. “He’s like family.” Jeff, who has two sons of his own, said he “never dreamed in a million years” that the relationship would grow into what it has. “Jared’s always going to be my third son, and we’ll be friends ‘til the day I die,” Olsen said. Haven said, “We’ll probably still be friends up in (heaven).” Jeff and Jared have packed a lot of fun into the 2-anda-half years they’ve been matched. Their outings have included snowmobiling, swimming, fishing, eating out, going to the park, and more. But they’ve also tackled some serious issues in Jared’s life like how to deal with
“We’ll probably still be friends up in (heaven).” — Jared Haven
JEFF AND JARED
bullies, overcoming fear, being obedient, and not talking back. Jeff draws on his experience as a dad to help Jared. “My thought is ... why waste that (experience)? You know, why not be a positive influence in somebody else’s life?” said Olsen. “And my hope is that Jared does this for somebody else someday.” “Someday, Jared, some young boy’s going to need your help and you can mentor him and show him how to become a man and make good, healthy decisions,” Olsen said. Local BBBS director Susan Smith can point to research as well as her own staff’s observations that demonstrate the effectiveness of mentoring. “It just never ceases to amaze me that something as simple as an adult spending time with a child can make such a huge impact,” Smith said. “We see that the kids are doing better in school, they’re getting along better with their peers and their family members. They’re making
better choices and decisions. And they’re doing better academically.” Historically, though, the program struggles to find enough men to fill the need. Typically, the local BBBS program has several dozen boys on its waiting list. Smith says it’s harder to recruit men than women for the program, and there is a greater number of boys than girls coming to their program for services. But for those who do volunteer, McDonald says they’ll get more out of it than they put in. “I mean, I’ve got a friend for life here,” he said. And Mary is deeply grateful for the impact Jim has had on that friend. “I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t been there. Joe would have missed out on a lot in his life,” Hansen said. “I’ll never be able to thank him enough for what he did for Joe — and for me, just to know that I could depend on (the fact) that he wasn’t going to let my son down, and he never did.” 11
Yuletide Woes: How to React When You Get Shockingly Bad Gifts
T
here you are, sitting on your grandmother’s lavender carpet as your family and you open gifts on Christmas Eve. The wassail is simmering on the stove, attempting to mask the horrifying stench of lutefisk emitting from Scandinavian-American tradition, a culinary crime that even butter cannot mask. On this holy night, you fully realize that the giving of gifts is symbolic of God’s greatest gift given to man (his son), which is exactly why you question how your aunt Bertha thinks it’s fine and dandy to give your diabetic self a mason jar full of Christmas candy, yet another indicator that they are merely acquainted with you after your 30 years of being in the family since birth. You may give a sheepish thank-you. You might even put on a gracious act and appear ecstatic to receive a gift you can’t ingest without putting your life in danger.
Whether you’re more of a Scrooge or a saint, here are possible ways you could react after receiving yuletide woes. The gift that keeps on getting given
If you’ve received the same item every year, only with color variations, thank your bland benefactor graciously. Think of how fun you can have confusing your coworkers the following week by wearing the exact same outfit every day – and yet not. Ask the gift giver if they could grab you one in hot pink, as well, so you can have this J.C. Penney pullover in every shade of the rainbow. Your collection just isn’t complete without it. Flash forward
When you receive a Valentine’s Day-themed gift at Christmas, you can safely assume that your bestower is completely oblivious to the art of gift giving, they’re strong supporters of stores decorating for Easter in October (they have to get the word out, ya know?), or it was the cheapest thing they could find near the entrance of the store. You have a few options with this kind of gift. You can purposely discard the memory of it until the proper holiday arrives, or you can walk around as proudly as a peacock in the patriotic, “Happy Fourth of July 2015” sandal slippers your uncle gave you. The jab-in-your-ribs gift Maybe it’s your brother getting you a baseball bat after you just got parole for beating someone in a dark alley with a baseball bat. Perhaps your sister bought you lip gloss after you told her your insecurity of looking too feminine (compared to other men of your level of straightness). Whatever the history of the situation may be, when you get a gift so mean that your cheeks instantly begin burning with rage after the big unveil, calm yourself and say, “Wow! Thanks!” Give ‘em a big hug, too. It will bring them no satisfaction.
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BY: MEGHAN FEIR PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Try-a-little-harder gifts
When your wife buys you diet pills, you know she’s subtly hinting at something. When your mom puts informational packets about rehab programs in your stocking, you can gather she’s also making a suggestion. You’ve placed your trove of self-help books from Christmases and birthdays past in a special spot in your basement where they can easily collect more mold from water damage. Honestly, if people are going to such extremes for you to get your act together, maybe you should actually do it, whatever “it” is. However, sometimes these presents really are uncalled for, and it may require a little questioning, in a nonaggressive approach, of course.
So how should you react when you receive an utterly horrendous gift? Ninety percent of the time, stay calm. Many people are just bad at picking out presents, in which case you shouldn’t react negatively and judgmentally. Be thankful that they spent the time to pick something out for you, even if it is ridiculously bad. When someone is truly trying to be malicious and bring back bad memories for you (or create new ones), don’t give them the reaction they’re hoping for – a tantrum. Be a gracious, grateful, kindhearted peacemaker. After all, this is the season of peace on earth, goodwill toward men – a season that shouldn’t end after Christmastime.
What in the ... ?
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STOP! IT’S WEATHER TIME:
RAIN, SLEET OR SNOW, WHEELER WILL KEEP YOU IN THE KNOW
BY: JESSICA BALLOU | PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
e has to work most holidays including Christmas, people get angry at him a lot and his job depends on predicting things that may or may not come true. And he loves it. John Wheeler has been a meteorologist at WDAY for the past 30 years, and he really enjoys solving the daily puzzle known as figuring out the weather. On a typical day, if the weather isn’t crazy, Wheeler arrives at WDAY around 2:30 p.m. Monday through Friday and stays until after the 10 o’clock broadcast is finished. One or two meteorologists have usually been there in the morning and early afternoon, working on and preparing the forecast throughout the day. In addition to the morning and evening broadcasts, WDAY also maintains the forecast on a weather app called Yourcast throughout the day. 14
“We have to keep the forecast fresh all day, 24/7, not just for the news at 6,” he said. People like to poke lighthearted fun at weather forecasters by saying they get the weather wrong all the time, and Wheeler says there’s an element of truth to that. “We rarely get the forecast exactly right, but that’s not because we’re incompetent. It’s because it’s hard,” he said. “It’s a challenge, and that makes it entertaining to try to get as close to what ends up happening as we can.” When meteorologists have to interrupt TV programming for really bad weather, Wheeler said they cautiously and carefully follow a policy they’ve created. While some people in their viewing area may not be affected by that weather announcement, so they get irritated that their show has been interrupted, other
people are irritated that meteorologists don’t break into programming enough for weather alerts. Wheeler said that since WDAY uses a broadcast signal, it can’t just send the weather announcement to cable or dish companies in the affected area; it’s all or nothing. When it comes to preparing for harsh weather, Wheeler said people don’t need much. He said many people, guys in particular, get in the mindset that if you get into trouble while driving, you have your cell phone to save you. That alone isn’t enough to help, though, especially if you’re in an area without cell phone coverage. People die every year from severe frostbite, and Wheeler said that is so preventable. “Yeah, you can buy these fancy winter survival kits, but you don’t really need that. What you should be doing
is just having a good, warm blanket in your car and then when you leave town, make sure you’re got a pair of boots with you and a hat and that sort of thing. Most people kind of don’t think about that,” he said. He said people could be better at preparing for harsh weather in the summer as well, particularly when it comes to tornadoes. Wheeler said most of the time when a tornado warning is issued, it’s because there’s a likelihood that a tornado could form in the area or a funnel cloud may be spotted; it doesn’t always mean there’s a tornado coming at you right now. But tornadoes do form and that can happen, and most people don’t know what to do. “My recommendation for summertime weather is that everyone, every family and every place of business has a plan,” he said. “So if this is the real deal, here is what
“We rarely get the forecast exactly right, but that’s not because we’re incompetent. It’s because it’s hard.” – John Wheeler 15
we’re going to do. Everybody knows where they’re going to go. And everybody knows how to contact each other after a disaster.” “It’s a simple little preparing that a lot of people could do that doesn’t take that much time,” he added. Wheeler’s primary job is as a meteorologist at WDAY, but he also teaches broadcasting classes at North Dakota State University (NDSU) a few times a week and helps out with the campus’ SUTV news station. He walks most of the time, but occasionally he’ll bike to his classes. In his spare time, in addition to walking, he enjoys working on his old house, reading, cooking and traveling when he can. 16
“I spend a lot of time out there in the weather, and I do that whether it’s cold or not. So I’m out in this weather that I’m forecasting. So you may hold me responsible for the weather, but at least I’m subjecting myself to it.” He entered college as an engineering major but changed his mind to meteorology during his freshman year because he wanted to focus on big picture questions, and meteorology suited his temperament more. He also had experience with and an interest in public speaking, science, physics and communication, so meteorology seemed to be his perfect match. Thirty years later, he’s still interested in the field because
each day can present such different challenges that he can’t wait to figure out. “Although we still get a lot wrong, we’re a whole lot better at forecasting the weather for tomorrow, the next day or Friday than we used to be 30 years ago. But it still is a daily challenge, and it’s hard. And I think that’s why it keeps me interested because it’s a new problem every day, a new mystery.” When asked what The Good Life means to him, Wheeler said: “The good life means finding value in work, satisfaction in play, confidence in decisions, and contentment in family.”
“The good life means finding value in work, satisfaction in play, confidence in decisions, and contentment in family.” – John Wheeler 17
Born November 24, 1929, Palmer Forness was the third and middle child of first generation Norwegian immigrants; Albert Forness and Bertina Sondroll. Perhaps due the chronological order of his birth or because he and his siblings were the first generation born in the United States, Palmer Forness was not ‘typical’ of his many friends or family members during the rugged years when Fargo was becoming a city of recognition. Palmer, a gentle soul who respected and loved his parents felt it was important to continue the traditions brought from the “old country.” Palmer loved to wander into different sections of Fargo with his pals from school and Palmer was a “thinker.” Sometimes to a point of belaboring an argument so much he became distracted from what was his original mission. But above all else, Palmer Forness was a person with dreams and the inner vision of what “could be.” BELIEVING IN THE POTENTIAL POSSIBILITIES After graduating from Oak Grove in 1947, Palmer took a few odd jobs until finding a more permanent position with the Bergseth Fish Company. During a run for the Bergseth Fish Company, Palmer got a glimpse of a young girl he thought he knew. Rounding the block once more, he saw her. Beulah Olson! Beulah was the younger sister of an Oak Grove classmate and the last time he saw Beulah, she was “just a skinny kid and still attending Oak Grove.” It was now 1949, Beulah was attending Nursing School, and “she was beautiful!” Not very bold with the
BY: SOO ASHEIM PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
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PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: THE FORNESS FAMILY
patriot who loved his country, but he realized the Army was not offering him any type of vocation he would ever need or want to use. Plus, being away from his family and others whom he loved so dearly for what seemed an eternity, Palmer was more than ready to bid the Army good-bye and return home. FARGO FIRE AND WHATEVER CAME NEXT Of the fifty applicants vying for a placement on the Fargo Fire Department, Palmer scored the second highest on the entrance aptitude test and was hired immediately. For the next 26 years, Palmer’s “home away from home,” was the Fargo Fire Department where he had many friends who became as close as family members, and a job that provided him with the money needed to support his growing family and give him the added self-confidence he needed to feel he was contributing to his community and helping others.
young ladies, Palmer was too shy to stop during the next several weeks when he would see Beulah to ask her out. Finally, a church function for young people being held at Pontoppidan Lutheran Church and Palmer had a reason to ask if Beulah wanted to go with him. From that day forward, Palmer seemed to understand his and Beulah’s destiny was bound as a ‘duo.’ In 1951 “Uncle Sam” reached out for Palmer’s assistance as the Korean War was beginning to flare up. However, Korea was not a place Palmer would ever see. Instead, Palmer was stationed in Germany where he was able to travel and experience the cultures of a few other countries. The highlight of his entire journey with the United States Army was one of the amazing events of his life when he was able to take a trip to his father’s ancestral homeland in Norway. Palmer was not enamored with the military. He followed orders and did as he was commanded to do, even when ordered to carry out an order that made no sense to him. Palmer was an independent thinker who felt the reason to do most things in life was for the benefit or at least betterment for others. Palmer was a
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WHEN BEULAH CAME HOME Palmer joined the Fargo Fire Department in 1954. By 1958, the young woman named Beulah Olson who it seemed Palmer had dreamed about forever and he were finally able to meet head to head and decided to marry. While Palmer had been away with Uncle Sam’s
Army, Beulah had not been standing still. She earned her Registered Nursing degree and was also a Certified Midwife. Beulah had been working in Kentucky for a couple of years as a Certified Midwife and Registered Nurse before Palmer brought her back to North Dakota as she and Palmer planned their wedding. Once they were married, Palmer and Beulah sometimes felt, as the saying goes “ships passing in the night” as they worked opposite shifts or Palmer’s days on at the Fire Department ran on consecutively for two or three days. But through it all, they became parents to seven children; two daughters and five sons, who followed in their parents footsteps as all seven children attended and graduated from Oak Grove High School. As time marched onward, the needs of the Forness household did as well. By 1963 they definitely needed a larger home and Palmer wanted the children to be able to “play and enjoy nature.” Palmer and Beulah bought a small farmstead north of West Fargo they called “Five Acres.”
PHOTO: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
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Listening to literally thousands of children every Christmas, Palmer Forness leaves a legacy and to this day is still remembered by many a child whose first encounter with the “big man in the red suit” bringing back only happy memories.
Palmer was very handy and knew how to construct and rebuild anything, while Beulah was the “artistic” hand in the family who made it all come together. Palmer worked the farm with the children when he wasn’t at the fire station. They had a few pigs and a cow and chickens that helped keep their large crew fed and healthy. Palmer loved the ‘farm life’ and so did the children. While Five Acres was used mostly for “family get-togethers,” such as parties and weekends away from the faster paced of Fargo, Five Acres gave Palmer a place to find the balance he needed to be happy and useful as they always had a “project” to work on. More importantly, he adored being with his family as they laughed and played and were happy most of the time. That was an all-important factor for Palmer – that his children have happy and fond memories of their childhood years together as a family. FARMING LIFE, RETIREMENT AND NEW COMMITMENTS In 1968, Beulah and Palmer were able to purchase a larger acreage farmstead they called “Pleasant Pastures.” The Forness Log Cabin was donated to Bonanzaville when Albert Forness, Palmer’s father, passed away. Palmer often lent a hand in preserving many significant historical artifacts and buildings that would have probably been destroyed had it not been for the many hours of volunteer labor donated by people such as Palmer Forness. By 1970, Palmer and Beulah and their crew of five moved to their farm home. The Fargo Fire Department had a regulation requirement when Palmer first signed on requiring all Fire Fighters’ to live within the city limits of Fargo. In the years since Palmer began in 1954, the requirement was lifted, but during winters when the weather was far more unpredictable or a storm was brewing, Palmer opted to stay in town at his Mother’s place. As the mysteries of life are often filled with surprises, sometimes, they come in pairs. The last of the Forness’
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major surprises arrived one blustery January evening when the last child Beulah and Palmer were expecting turned out to be a pair of twin sons! They named their baby boys Jon and Jason. Palmer and Beulah found life on their Pleasant Pastures homestead always peaceful, albeit, one of constant commotion with continual projects in progress. It is said “timing is everything,” so when the Fargo Fire Department decided to make changes to their pension plan, Palmer made a decision, too. After twenty-six years as a Fargo Fire Fighter, Palmer Forness retired in 1979. NEXT STOP: SANTA CLAUS Not long after retiring from the FFD, Palmer wanted to move forward with his plan to work with young people. Palmer began a new career at the Fargo Youth Commission. He worked three sometimes four nights a week, approaching each child and situation with an infectious optimism of positivity. Between his time on
the farm building and taking on new projects, spending more time with his own children, and counseling at the FYC, Palmer was busier than he could ever have imagined. When Palmer decided to take a ‘vacation’ from shaving, it wasn’t long before the 50 plus year old with his shocking white head of hair and long flowing white beard could have easily passed as good old Saint Nick’s twin brother! By late fall Palmer was approached by the West Acres Mall manager about playing Santa Claus in the West Acres Mall during the holidays. Requiring a few stipulations of his own, Palmer agreed. By 1981 Palmer became the Fargo Youth Commission Director. The one on one, case per case interaction between he and the youth who were coming and going from the FYC grew less as the responsibilities of boards and budgets and disciplinary issues for so many grew two fold. The task was daunting and the sadness Palmer began to feel made him weary. He tried many ideas and on occasion even took
home some of the FYC kids to spend time with his family on the farm. To no avail, the depression became a cloud surrounding him that was also affecting his own home life. Toward the end of 1982, Palmer decided he needed to step down as Director of the FYC. NEVER GIVE UP THE DREAM While Palmer felt disappointed he could not solve all the problems so many youngsters at the Fargo Youth Commission faced and that Palmer tried so fervently to help, he was still the dreamer. Palmer believed any attempt made to help others be happy was always worth trying. For the next eight years, Palmer Forness was the most sought after Santa in Red River Valley history! Listening to literally thousands of children every Christmas, Palmer Forness leaves a legacy and to this day is still remembered by many a child whose first encounter with the “big man in the red suit” bringing back only happy memories.
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FATHERS BY: PATRICK BATCHELDER
Y
ou never asked to be single, but there is much joy ahead with your children if you can navigate these tricky waters well. You’re not alone. Not by a long shot, guys. Did you know that since 1980 the number of single dads in the US has doubled to nearly 1.6 million? That’s a lot of us. I’d bet the census count missed a few too. Single dads are growing 6 percent a year-that’s double the rate for single moms. That means almost 15 percent of us men are running a dadonly household.
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DOWN AT THE MOUTH? THINK AGAIN It’s so easy to fall into the “Poor me, I’m just a single dad” attitude. For one thing, everything around us promotes the stereotype. Stop and think. What words and phrases come to mind when you think of yourself as a single dad? “Mr. Mom.” “Absentee Father.” Or maybe “Deadbeat Dad.” You never saw yourself this way before you were a single dad, right? So what makes you any less valuable as a father now? Nothing does. If anything, you’re more valuable now-more of a stabilizing factor, more of a necessary dad than you ever were. I remember my first days as a single dad. I don’t enjoy remembering. My kids were only 1 and 3 at the time. I was into bottles, diapers, day care and Winnie the Pooh. It was a time of holding them, nurturing them, wiping tears away. And watching them go. That Christmas may have been the hardest. When it was Mom’s week, starting the afternoon of the 25th, I watched them drive off and felt the punch to my stomach. You know what punch I mean. It feels like the first one you got back in third grade. THE CHOICE IS YOURS; MAKE IT A GOOD ONE Right then and there I decided I could spend the rest of my life feeling down and out or I could do what was best for me and the kids. I guess you could say I took the road less traveled in this case and became a proactive single dad. My time with the kids became the most valuable asset I had. I needed to provide for them, but my career and its satisfaction didn’t come close to what we did together. And boy, did we do things together. These were times that only a dad could invent. Still, there’s a strong message that parenting is really all about mothering. CAN A DAD REALLY BE A MOM? Somehow, single dads are supposed to raise kids like moms do. But what happens? We fail miserably. Or we walk away. That makes the kids very miserable. As a single father, raising children should feel natural. Simply remember to raise them as a man would. Sure, moms have a way of raising kids, but dads do too. Our way of
showing love and laughter are not a mom’s way. It was never intended to be like a mom. What do I mean by “a dad’s way?” Spending time with the kids. That can mean letting them sit on either side of you while reading a story from the sports page-out loud. Or laughing about the pile of laundry, and taking off for a little fishing, knowing that it will be waiting for you when you get back. I recall a walk we took when my daughter was about 4 years old. We went up and down the alleys in town, looking at old cars and barking back at the fencedin dogs. We found a really glorious mud puddle and started tossing rocks into it. You guessed it, pretty soon we were into it ourselves and covered with mud. Along came a mom. She was horrified. When I pointed out that kids were “wash and wear,” she got a blank look on her face. I don’t think it had occurred to her in quite that way. Dads are different, and kids love it. ENJOY MANHOOD, ENJOY FATHERHOOD Whatever you do, know that you’re not alone. Know that being a proactive single dad is a blast. Be a man, be a father, get muddy and let the wash pile up. Most of all, ignore the stereotypes that tell you what to be. Don’t try to be a mom. Don’t see yourself as “nothing but a single father.” That outlook will take you nowhere-fast. Let me leave you with a couple more statistics. This one comes right off the pages of Newsweek, from an article entitled, “It’s Not Like Mr. Mom.” Describing single dads, the authors say: “... and they’re not the stereotypical wealthy widowers or fathers raising only boys or older kids. According to a recent study, about two-thirds of single fathers are divorced, but 25 percent have never tied the marital knot; only 7.5 percent are widowers. 44 percent of their children are daughters and one-third of the men care for preschoolers.” Keep your chin up and enjoy being a dad. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not the best. “Copyright 2012 All Pro Dad. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted with permission. For more fatherhood resources, visit AllProDad.com.”
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BY: PAUL HANKEL
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“World sporting events like the World Cup are often referred to as a way for the world to come together and share in the love of sport.”
of sports fans stating that football, namely the NFL, is their preferred sport, it is evident that football sits atop the American sporting landscape. One would tend to think that football, namely NFL football, is the most popular sport in the world. However, according to the numbers, it is soccer that still remains the world’s choice.
For decades, Americans referred to baseball and the Major League Baseball Association (MLB) as, ‘the American pastime.” However, according to several studies conducted by ESPN and other sports enterprises, the National Football League (NFL) has taken over that label. With nearly 35%
THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES Both football and soccer are played on a field by 11-man teams. Both games are governed by referees and feature penalties for player infractions. That is, pretty much, where the similarities end.
While football is considered a sport of, ‘short bursts of athletic violence,’ that features intense plays of 6-8 seconds, soccer is a more continual sport, featuring a running clock and very few stoppages in play. While football is played in during four 15-minute quarters, soccer is played in two 45-minute halves. Professional football teams feature players mainly from top level football colleges and universities in the US, while professional soccer teams feature star players from around the world, some who sign professional contracts as early as 13 years old.
STARTLING FACTS The NFL had revenue of over $9 billion dollars in 2013.
According to Forbes, the average NFL team is worth nearly $1.43 billion dollars. Real Madrid, the Champions League soccer powerhouse, is the most valuable sports franchise in the world, with an estimated value of $3.44 billion dollars. Real Madrid is followed by Barcelona and Manchester United on the list of the most valuable sports franchises. The Dallas Cowboys, long referred to as, ‘America’s Team,’ is fifth on the list of most valuable sports franchises, worth an estimated $2.3 billion dollars. According to a recent Harris Poll, well over half of Americans watch NFL games on Sundays. It is estimated that nearly half the world’s population enjoys soccer in some form, whether playing the game or watching it. 27
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According to FIFA, there are close to 300 million people who play soccer, worldwide. It is estimated that a soccer player can run as far as seven miles during a 90-minute soccer match. The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), the governing body of college athletics, had a surplus of over $61 million dollars in the 2013 fiscal year, according to the USA Today. The majority of this revenue came from college football.
NFL and its Commissioner to, ‘save face,’ following what some are calling one of the biggest cover-ups in NFL history. Will these Public Relations nightmares affect the NFL’s bottom line? Most likely. However, the NFL and its PR departments have shown an uncanny and unprecedented ability to bounce back from nearly every significant situation of bad publicity.
Current News PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL Recently, the NFL has come under fire regarding its disciplinary policies, namely the allegations concerning former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice and current (at time of authorship) Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. While NFL player arrests for offenses such as driving under the influence and possession have long been considered the norm, the recent rash of domestic violence arrests among players has cast a grim glow on the NFL, its Commissioner and its discipline policies. In response, the NFL has changed its Domestic Violence policy. Players convicted of committing Domestic Violence are now suspended six games for a first offense. Any player convicted of a second charge of Domestic Violence receives a lifetime ban. While some critics call these new rules too strict, there are others whom think that these new policies are only being instated as a way for the
COLLEGE FOOTBALL College football continues to be the Saturday afternoon activity of choice in America. What was once a noon or evening game, consisting of a three hour event, has morphed and evolved into an allday event that features endless full-day coverage and a dominance of television airways on Saturdays in America. Television shows such ESPN College Gameday, recently in Fargo for a second year in a row, continue to provide college football fans with in-depth, almost fiendish coverage of the sport, its teams and schedules. The newest addition to the college football landscape is the move to a 4-team playoff system amongst FCS schools. While this playoff system is only in its first year, there appears to be some sort of satisfaction for fans who have, for decades, thought that the Bowl system of determining a champion was too bloated and did not offer teams outside the SEC, the dominate college football conference, a fair shot at the trophy.
PROFESSIONAL SOCCER The World Cup, soccer’s premiere event, took place in June of this year and set records in terms of viewership and support. While the top leagues such as the MLS and foreign leagues continue to experience strong growth in popularity, in the US, the numbers of athletes choosing to participate in soccer continues to remain stagnant. While both football and soccer are drastically different in the way that they are played, there’s one thing that’s for certain: sports are huge on the worldwide stage. With events like football’s Super Bowl, and soccer’s World Cup continuing to grow in popularity and viewership, the world’s appetite for sports shows no signs of stopping. World sporting events like the World Cup are often referred to as a way for the world to come together and share in the love of sport. With more and more options being made available for fans to watch and participate in both sports, such as streaming games on the internet, the numbers of casual fans will surely continue to rise for both sports, which, in the male sports fan’s opinion, is the very definition of The Good Life. 29
LOCAL HERO
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BY: SOO ASHEIM | PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
No one is ever promised life will be easy. Or, that when we make decisions, we may want to consider the over-all cinemascope of our life. And not hastily decide a life-long changing decision when it is based on a few of our past performances. Or, during a time that might not have been our brightest or best moments in life. For better or worse, often many of us do make decisions that eventually will affect us for all eternity. When we look back, usually many years later, we eventually recognize what led to that one all time and life altering choice shaking our head as we wonder what in the world was I thinking?
THE BEST INTENTIONS Art Williams was a Math major at Central State College in Ohio when he graduated in 1964. Art joined the ROTC while he attended college, so when he graduated and decided to join the Army, he knew that decision was one of the “right” choices he made as a young African-American man about to join the thousands of other young and eager college grads in the mid-1960’s who believed in righting the wrongs of the world; where good always would win over evil and when necessary, fight for the idealistic causes of the day. Believing with every fiber in their bodies to what President John Fitzgerald Kennedy said: “ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what I can do for my country.” Like a pied piper, President Kennedy convinced an entire nation that “giving and volunteering” was the noblest and most patriotic ideal any generation of college age people could ever offer to do and pay forward in the name of democracy, apple pie and all that is wholesome in the world. It was if some new brain washing gimmick befell an entire generation of young people. Some slightly over 18 year olds or barely over twenty-one year olds and just out of college graduates could be found standing in long lines at malls and in neighborhood parks or burned out downtown building lots (yet, only a day or two before it could have as easily been the site of a gang like robbery or Civil Rights protest “gone haywire”) began signing up to join President Kennedy’s newly formed American Peace Corps. A naïve and very young diplomatic core of 31
up villages and under-ground tunnels with a never ending cycle of North Vietnamese soldiers holding one single focus: take over the land growing the main food supply for the southern hemisphere, rice, while simultaneously enslaving civilian women and children.
THOSE WHO DEFEND GO
volunteers offered their many talents and skills to cross southern borders into other lands as far away as Chili and Peru or fly across the seas and oceans in an effort to “reach out” to the masses of sick and often dying children, parents and elderly people. With only the very best intention and usually with back breaking effort to teach foreigners how to farm, grow gardens, develop and build infrastructures within their villages and tiny towns. Within a year, thousands had boarded buses and trains, drove in car pools or hitch-hiked to the nearest Peace Corps recruitment office to sign up for as long as three and four year “tours of volunteering” abroad. Many went to countries and cities they had never heard of before to lend their raw labor, talents and often minimal skills to the poorest of the poor who lived in filthy squalor, rampant with contagious diseases, drinking and cooking with polluted water. The infrastructure consisted of dirty, dusty streets half the year during dry periods and muddy pits when it rained. The Peace Corps volunteers worked tirelessly attempting to teach and train their host countries people how to function in a modern world so they too, might live beyond the age of forty-five. During the same time frame, Vietam was growing far beyond a mere political conflict. By the end of 1964 and into 1965, Vietnam was a hot bed of blown
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After graduation from Ohio’s Central State College, as a Distinguished Military Graduate, both the Air Force and the Army wanted to claim Arthur Williams among their bravest and brightest. And while it wasn’t a split second decision for Art to make, because Art’s dad was who he was and Art wanted to be sure whatever he became it would be because he earned it himself. Art opted to stay “Army All The Way.” Life was complicated enough in those days for a black or multi-ethnic person. Art recalls with bittersweet irony why he opted to take his ROTC Army Commission after he graduated from college and explains it this way: “My father was a wellknown and respected Air Force Colonel who was a Tuskegee Airman” during World War II. I needed to be sure whatever I did, I would have earned it and it wasn’t given to me because of who my dad was. If I had
joined the Air Force, especially before my father retired, I’m not sure I would have been totally certain something didn’t come my way because of who my dad was.” Art felt he could do well in the Army and he did. For those who are not terribly familiar with WW II history, Art Williams father (also known as “Art”) was among an elite group of Officers from World War II. As a Tuskegee Airman, Colonel Williams went beyond his comfort zone to become a Logistician and advisor within the US Government and to other governments at the request of our government.” The Tuskegee Pilots were the only AfricanAmerican pilots in World War II. Afterwards the Tuskegee Squadron disbanded in 1949 and those who stayed with the Air force were shipped over to Europe and elsewhere around the world. After the Second World War was over, Colonel Williams was stationed in Germany. The Colonel, Art, his mother and siblings lived in Germany from 1949 until 1952. From 1954 until 1958 they lived in France, where Art attended a French School as the only American private boys school, until 1958, when another move was made. This time the move was back to the United States capital city where Art graduated from a Washington, D.C. high school in 1960.
OHIO COEDS AND CO-MINGLING
Colonel Williams, Art’s mother and siblings moved to Taiwan. Art said, “I’ve been called a survivor” due to having “bounced around so much as a kid and as an adult,” while giving an explanation as to how he views himself as well as life. Art explained what he thinks by saying, “What I found is that many of us who have traveled and moved away from friends and family tend to become very flexible or wind up really broken. I learned to become kind of flexible.” Thinking about Art as an only son of a higher ranking military man, graduating with a degree in Math and then becoming a twelve year military person himself, one might presume that Art might have a much higher tendency to be a bit ‘rigid.’ Art is a Mathematician. Generally speaking often there is no flexibility when computing the numbers end of anything. The answer is either correct or it’s wrong! Yet in interviewing this soft spoken man, I never got a vibe that he is someone who is incapable of looking beyond or outside the scope of “procedure and protocol” so to speak. Flexibility means having the ability to reach an alternative plan that yields the conclusion hoped for.
Art moved with his family when his father was transferred to Wright Patterson Air Force Base after Art’s graduation from High School. Four years later, Art finished college at Central State and joined the Army.
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Art Williams believes he has found The Good Life. A military veteran who not only believes in his faith but lives it by the good deeds he does for others.
THREE TOURS INTO HELL After his college days at Central State College in Ohio, Art spent twelve years in a soldier’s suit. During those twelve years, Art spent three years in Vietnam. He volunteered to go with the Ninth Infantry Division into Vietnam his first time and second tours; from 1966 until 1968. Art said, “as a Commissioned Field Artillery Officer, he needed to see it and experience what the troops experienced in order to understand what the soldiers he was commanding were going through and how they dealt with what they had to endure.” It was his way of learning how he could become a better Field Commander. His second tour was during the Tet Offensive, known for having the “worst fighting.” As the Battery Commander in the MeKong Delta, his Division was Staff Headquarters during the planning of the invasion into Cambodia. When his tour was completed after the second tour, he was shipped back state side to Ft. Sill, Oklahoma to train for the Officers Advance Course. Fourteen months later, Art decided to go back once more. The Invasion of Cambodia was during his third tour as he served with the Cavalry Division-Airmobile. Art described it as the team that “does everything by air; 34
helicopters primarily. Basically the simple answer is to watch the movie Apocalypse Now.” “After my third tour I served as an Assistant Professor of Military Science at Virginia State College where I completed requirements for a Masters of Education degree. I was then assigned to Germany where I Commanded a Nuclear Capable Field Artillery battery.” At the end of his third tour, Art decided it was time to leave active duty to return to civilian life. Art liked many of the places he adopted and made his home. One of them happens to be a suburb of Minneapolis-St. Paul where Art and Marie, his wife of the last twenty-nine years met. Art also liked Denver during most of the fourteen years he, Marie and their two children lived there. By the time they left, Art said he was definitely ready to move away. Too many people had moved into his little mountain town where he did more IT Tech and consulting work for many companies around the country. Art and Marie moved to Fargo approximately four years ago. Art’s last gig was with Corelink Administrative Solutions as a Project Manager in 2010. When I asked Art “so have you found where or which area or city you liked the most?” He smiled from ear to
ear and said, “FARGO!! It’s just the best place!” According to Art the West Fargo, Fargo and Moorhead people are “A-number One’s” in his opinion. Art Williams is a Vietnam Vet and because of his experiences in Vietnam as well as the PTSD he’s suffered with, he feels for anyone who has the misfortune to have so much trauma in their lives regardless of when it happened. Art also visits and volunteers at the Fargo Veterans Hospital as often as he can because he understands why some of the men he has helped get into counseling have waited for so many years. More often than not he believes many of the soldiers returning from conflicts and wars need to deal with their disorders immediately. Especially PTSD; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Knowing what he went through, Art believes this is a disease that will never completely leave someone and it most certainly can be fatal. Art and Marie Williams are also members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Art, a grandson of a Presbyterian Minister and who was brought up in the Catholic Church, I wondered how such a radical “switch” occurred. Art’s simple answer was that for nearly 41 years he wandered around asking “why?” and feeling he was missing something. Then, during a job interview with the Vice President of a company in Minnesota, who happened to be a devoted member of the (Morman) Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints. Art and the VP began conversing
about how they felt and what was important in life for each of them. After a very long conversation, Art decided he wanted to at least go to a service and hear what they do. Art realized when the service was over the first time, he felt more at peace than he could ever remember. That was thirty years ago. Art believes what many people feel; God just wants us to be as good as we can be and to treat one another with as much kindness and understanding as possible. Art Williams believes he has found The Good Life. A military veteran who not only believes in his faith but lives it by the good deeds he does for others. Now he and Marie are living in a place Art says is the BEST EVER.
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