The Good Life Magazine – November-December 2020 by The Good Life Men's Magazine

FATHERS | DAD LIFE

WRITTEN BY: PAUL HANKEL

As the holidays approach, I wanted to share with you all some tried and true mantras that I have developed through years of painstaking trial and error. My hope is that it will open the door to a more peaceful, restful, and quality holiday season. Download the phone app that allows you to expel all the negativity from your life. There’s this great phone application out there that, believe it or not, will help you root out and expose all of the potentially negative people in your life. Its free to download and, in my experience, is extremely effective. It's called Facebook. Facebook is especially effective over the holidays, the time of year when mulled wine and PBR tallboys, shared at family get togethers, tend to loosen people up and, “let their true colors show”. Social media is great. Applications such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter allow billions of people to connect and to share what is important to them with others. I love this concept (huge 1st Amendment guy). However, with this great power often comes great stupidity – in the form of over-sharing, sharing non2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

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PHOTO BY: PAUL HANKEL

factual information, and the ability to be a jerk on social platforms. I would highly suggest that you harness the power of this free-to-use social tool to not only digitally unsubscribe from negative people, but also consider doing it in real life. Just PLEASE ... don’t publicly announce that you’re cleaning up your friends list ... its kind of rude. When road-tripping for the holidays, just bring the tablet. I, much like many other parents out there, always intended on being the, “perfect parent,” especially in regard to screen time for my son. And then ... he turned two and we started taking road trips during the holidays. This stance quickly evolved into frantically waking up early on the day of road trips to ensure that my kiddo’s tablet is fully charged and smudge free. The alternative is a hearing a three-hour detailed accounting of all the latest Fortnite updates and reenactments of Youtube videos. To me, the choice is clear! Just do your best, in relation to your child’s mandatory school fundraisers.

We all rue the day that the dreaded PTA envelope arrives, containing this year’s big fundraiser. Its always the same format: sell as many as you can so your child can participate in (insert activity). To make matters worse, the sales drive has now morphed into some form of cutthroat competition, that pits students against each other in a contest to see who can sling the most (insert product). It gets better ... in an effort to bolster sales, students are incentivized by a list of cheaply-made knockoff prizes ranging from RC drones that break after one use, to off-brand MP3 players. Sell thirty coupon books – win a plastic light up sword (batteries not included) ... UGH. You have two choices: you can, like me, procrastinate on participating and end up writing a large check, or you can awkwardly harass your family members into purchasing whatever your child is slinging. As a testament to this, I now have a glovebox full of Blue Book Coupons that I plan on distributing to family members at Christmas. Either way, you’re gonna have a bad time. It’s best just to power through it! Just let her be “basic”. One day, you will walk into your home and be greeted by the smell of apple pie. You’ll excitedly trot into the kitchen, only to find out that there is, in fact, no ACTUAL apple pie and that your significant other has just lit an apple pie scented candle. This travesty of occurrences is not just limited to apple pie scent ... pecan, pumpkin, banana cream ... there’s a scented candle for every pastry flavor! My suggestion is very simple and resonates especially well during the holidays: Just let her be basic. Go one step further: embrace female seasonal tendencies! I, for one, look AMAZING in flannel and will happily pay 11-17% more to shop at Target, in order to avoid having to go to Walmart. Wear the flannel. Pay $400 for the fall photo shoot. Embrace the pumpkin patches. Put up the Christmas tree (in late October for some reason). Watch the Hallmark movies. Take her to Target. I hope this concise and curated list gives you some insight into how to navigate the oft tumultuous world of the holiday season. Read through it again and then take it to heart. Now … go get your Carhartts on. You’ve got Christmas lights to hang (in November). • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3

INSIDE THIS NOV-DEC 2020

ISSUE VOLUME 8 â&#x20AC;¢ ISSUE 3

FATHERS - DAD LIFE A DAD'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS

OFFICER KEELY DILWORTH'S FIRST THERAPY K9

MEN'S HEALTH 5 TIPS TO FIGHT HOLIDAY STRESS

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CONSERVING WATER AT HOME HAVING A BEER WITH RADIO DJ - FISH ON THE COVER HURRICANES SLED HOCKEY THE ART OF ROASTING COFFEE BEANS

PUBLISHED BY Urban Toad Media LLP www.urbantoadmedia.com OWNER / PHOTOGRAPHER Darren Losee darren@urbantoadmedia.com OWNER / GRAPHIC DESIGNER Dawn Siewert dawn@urbantoadmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Meghan Feir Paul Hankel Ben Hanson Jeffrey Miller Krissy Ness Alexis Swenson Danielle Teigen ADVERTISING INQUIRIES Darren Losee darren@urbantoadmedia.com

READ A PAST ISSUE yumpu.com/user/thegoodlife FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK facebook.com/urbantoadmedia FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @urbantoadmedia

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ASK 30 WOMEN WHAT ANNOYING HABITS DO YOU WISH YOUR PARTNER WOULD BREAK FOR THE NEW YEAR? LOCAL HERO FARGO MEMORIAL HONOR GUARD HONORING THOSE WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE US

The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without permission. The Good Life Men’s Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views or policies of The Good Life urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 5 Men’s Magazine.

MEN'S HEALTH

"Fatigue is a big sign of stress. Don't wait until the holidays to take care of your mental and emotional health." _ Dr. Sauer

5 Tips to Fight Holiday Stress WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON

For most of us, this is going to be a Holiday season unlike any other. We're heading into winter already swimming in a sea of uncertainty that is driving up anxiety ahead of would-be family gatherings around the Thanksgiving dinner table (never mind Christmas… let's agree to take things one step at a time!). And speaking of taking things one step at a time, Dr. Forrest Sauer, founder of Twin Oaks Health Solutions in Fargo, says that's the guiding principle we should be following right now in order to maintain our mental and emotional well-being. He shared five tips that you can use to help fight holiday stress and arm yourself against potential anxiety-inducing encounters with family, friends, in-laws and even the nightly news, as we continue to battle through the pandemic. You can use these tricks to keep your mental edge yearround, and Dr. Sauer says they're especially helpful when the familiar warning signs of stress start to appear. 6 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

"Fatigue is a big sign of stress," he explains. "If you find yourself drinking too much coffee or not getting enough sleep, that's a sign your body is stressed. Same thing with motivation … if you notice you feel burned out all of the time or are starting to lack empathy, find time to put these tips into action. Don't wait until the holidays to take care of your mental and emotional health."

1 Maintain Your Routine

Dr. Sauer says the most important thing we can do during times when knowing stress levels will be high is to maintain a routine. "If you don't have a routine, set one up before the turkey, before the Christmas cookies, before the pumpkin pie …" explains Dr. Sauer. "Your daily routine will provide some built-in comfort, even if it's just psychological. Your brain will be more at ease if it knows what's coming next."

2 Avoid the Perfection Trap

When the Covid-19 pandemic first broke, it seemed like you had to do everything absolutely perfectly to stay safe and keep those around you safe. Diligence continues to be important, but Dr. Sauer says don't feel like you have to live in a bubble. "Don't hold yourself to a false expectation that everything is going to go as planned, because you're setting yourself up for failure," he says. "Being perfect is the enemy of success and will only breed more stress. I work with clients and they expect themselves to be perfect, but it's unobtainable ... you're asking for guilt and frustration." So, make your holiday plans, know what your comfort and risk levels are and stick to your plan. If a monkey wrench gets thrown in, give yourself the grace to follow your plan.

3 Plan Ahead

Notice a pattern? More planning! When it comes to holiday gatherings, you know what you're walking into. You know what temptations are going to be spread out on the table. You know what conversations have the potential to get heated. Go in with a plan and set appropriate expectations. "If you know you're going to Thanksgiving with the family or inlaws, set up a plan on what you want to eat, what you want to do, and set that expectation for yourself … don't waltz in without a plan," Dr. Sauer cautions. "For example, if you ate two dozen Christmas cookies at Grandma's last year, set the goal to only eat six this year. Same with your interactions. Know what conversations you're willing to have and which ones you need to avoid to maintain sanity."

4 Limit Your Media Exposure

It sounds like an impossible task. Many of us are glued to our smartphones, endlessly scrolling through Twitter or Facebook (TikTok?) Not only do we have a worldwide pandemic ratcheting up our stress levels, but we also have perhaps the most heated political atmosphere in a generation. Dr. Sauer's prescription is simple: limit your exposure. Just like maintaining your physical distance can protect your physical health, limiting your media exposure can preserve your emotional energy so you can respond to the situation with composure. Plus, you"ll have more time to spend on things that really matter.

5 Elect an Accountability Partner

If you've ever joined a gym or attempted to "go on a diet," you've likely heard the same advice. Having someone else to hold you accountable can keep you on track and help you stick to your plan. "It's really hard to remember your commitments and health plan with so much else going on — especially when there's a pan of your favorite pie staring you in the face," Dr. Sauer said with a chuckle. "Find someone close to you who won't let you slack and give them their assignment." • Special thanks to Dr. Forrest Sauer at Twin Oaks Health Solutions, medical consultant for our Men's Health section.

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OFFICER KEELY Dilworth's First Therapy K9

WRITTEN BY: DANIELLE TEIGEN

For the last several months, a new face has been making the rounds within the Dilworth Police Department as well as throughout the community of more than 4,400 people. She's happy to stop when officers, city employees, children or residents want to offer a quick hello, and every morning she's ready to do her work and do it well. Her name is Officer Keely, and she's a black, four-legged addition to the police department. She's a community canine, which means she's not as specialized as a drug dog, and instead performs many different duties as a therapy dog for officers or crime victims as well as being an approachable fixture within the community.

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PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

Chief Ty Sharpe said he'd been contemplating the idea of adding a canine to his force for some time, but research indicated the small department -- just seven officers -- would need to make an investment of about $50,000 to purchase, train and certify a drug dog. Plus, Sharpe worried that the dog would be under-utilized thanks to the fact that Dilworth sees little action in the realm of drugrelated and violent crime. So, he pushed the idea to the backburner. Then Sharpe found out from a friend in Ohio that a program had been developed in Franklin County (Ohio) for training therapy dogs, and the police department there had recently integrated a Poodle into its force.

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Want to follow along with what Officer Keely is up to? You can follow @DpdKeely on Twitter and @OfficerKeelyK9 on Instagram.

Sharpe was convinced, and after speaking with a few city officials, he put together a presentation discussing the costs and benefits associated with having a community canine as part of the Dilworth Police Department. "I likened it to the idea of a firehouse dog from the '50s and '60s where firemen would find these strays and feed them and they'd just end up roaming around," Sharpe said. In his presentation to the city, Sharpe wrote that "as a police department we are constantly evolving and looking at new methods and ways to deliver our message and services to the community. Recent studies on the surge in [post traumatic stress disorder-]related illnesses and the use of de-escalation tactics [and] several studies point to the calming effect of a therapy dog and the release of oxytocin," which helps "reduce our stress response and reduce general anxiety in people when produced." Sharpe had crunched some numbers and determined that a community canine would cost approximately $2,500 a year, and a local business had expressed interest in helping defray some of that cost. The city was sold, so Sharpe moved forward with the plan. He'd learned from Franklin County that the ideal dog was about 18 months old and any breed could serve in the role, so he figured finding the right animal would be relatively easy. He was wrong. 10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

"The roadblock was finding the dog; it needed to be about 18 months old, and the temperament was what you're looking for," Sharpe explained. He loved the idea of using a shelter dog and being able to give an animal another chance and purpose in life, and he started corresponding with a local golden retriever society about using an animal from them. However, they noted that nobody gives up a golden retriever unless there is a serious issue with the dog, and that wouldn't do for what he was looking for. Finally, a dog popped up at the Detroit Lakes Humane Society, and he called immediately to learn more about the animal. Shelter employees listened to what he needed, and they confirmed that the dog in their shelter would be a good fit. However, more than 50 people had expressed interest in her and 15 people had already applied to be considered for her adoption. Sharpe applied immediately and learned soon after that their adoption board had reviewed all the applications and selected the Dilworth Police Department as the lucky new owner. And that local business that expressed interest in funding the program? Northwest Bank agreed to fund the first year of Officer Keely's time in the therapy dog program and provided the $2,500 needed for food and veterinary needs. In August, Northwestern Bank President told KVRR that community commitment was a core value of the organization, so funding the program was a natural fit.

When Officer Keely came on board as the face of the therapy dog program, Sharpe anticipated slowly integrating her into the community because, at about 10 months old, Keely was actually much younger than the 18 months outlined. He expected maybe bringing her to the department a day or two a week and gradually introducing her to community events. He was pleasantly surprised to find that was not necessary. "She just took to it. The first day I had her I got stopped at a daycare, and I pulled her out of the car and she was right in the middle of about 25 kids who were around 5, 6 years old," Sharpe said. "They petted on her and she just walked away." Sharpe was delighted at how well she'd handled that situation, and he said she immediately made herself at home in the police department, getting to know the building, the officers and the city employees. In her six months on the force, Officer Keely has quickly adapted to her role and knows when she puts her vest on, she's ready to go to work. (At night and on weekends, she lives with Sharpe and his family and is happy to shed her vest for some games of fetch.) While the pandemic cancelled many events Officer Keely would have participated in, she's been able to serve in her role during the department's Lunch with a Cop program, and she also appeared at the Night to United in October (dressed as Batman, no less). She's visited the school and daycare facilities and may even expand her role into Moorhead schools. As Sharpe wrote in his explanation to the city about the program, the possibilities for how Officer Keely can be involved in the community are only limited by the imagination. He wants people to know Officer Keely is an approachable animal, so they are welcome to come up and ask to pet her. His car, which has no bars in it, displays a sticker designed specifically to embrace the idea of an approachable "Community Canine" that people can interact with and get to know. He said it's all part of his department's goal to be approachable to the community and connect with residents on a much more meaningful level. And Officer Keely is helping them do that, one puppy step at a time. â&#x20AC;˘

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WRITTEN BY: JEFFREY MILLER

Last issue I wrote about conserving rainwater. While it's easy to look up and see the rain, it can be more difficult to think about the water that is used in homes and apartments each day. As each person uses water every day, conserving our water is something that benefits everyone. It may come as a surprise to many, but the City of Fargo gets its primary drinking water from the Red River, with a backup of the Sheyenne River. According to the City of Fargo, the current usage for drinking water is 8 to 10 million gallons of water per day in the winter, with 15 to 16 million gallons of water in the summer. With that much water being filtered from the river and being utilized, it behooves all of us to conserve it. With a metro population of over 200,000 people, even small efforts can have a tremendous benefit on the resource. The toilet in your home can be a major source of water inefficiency. These appliances account for nearly 30% of a home's water consumption. A leaky toilet can accumulate thousands of gallons of water wasted a year. While that is hard both on the resource and your pocketbook, thankfully it can be easily fixed. An easy way to check for leaks is by adding food coloring to the tank. After waiting 30 minutes or so, check the water in the bowl. If there is food 12 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

color in it, there is a leak. It may take a new flapper or valve, but the small cost of the fix will pay back many times over in water bills. Why pay for water you aren't using? Sticking with toilets, older toilets use anywhere from three to seven gallons of water per flush. Newer models use 1.6 gallons or less. If the old toilet is performing well, a simple way to reduce the water per flush is to put a couple 20-ounce soda bottles filled with sand in the tank. The bottles will displace the water and lessen the water it takes to fill the tank. Leaky faucets are also a major source of wasted water. Water loss at the rate of one drip per second can waste more than 3,000 gallons per year. Simply replacing the leaky faucet will stop this waste. If the faucet isn't leaking, but water conservation is desired, installing an aerator is an inexpensive way to reduce the water used by almost half, with little reduction of water pressure. Like old toilets, old showerheads are notorious water wasters. Simply installing a modern showerhead can reduce water usage by up to 50%, with no noticeable decrease in water pressure. By reducing showering time, water usage can be reduced further.

Washing machines and dishwashers are often run on less-than-full loads. The amount of water used in a quarter load is the same as a full load, so maximize the water usage by only running the appliances when the load is full. New high-efficiency machines also use less water than older washers. When washing dishes by hand, fill one side of the sink with hot, soapy water and the other side with cool, clean water. Rather than letting the water run while washing, rinse the dishes off in the cool water. According to the EPA, this will result in a reduction of water use by half. Container gardens are becoming popular additions to many homes and apartments. Maximize water use by catching water in a bowl or bucket when rinsing food in a colander or while waiting for the hot water to kick in. The resulting water can be used to water the container garden, houseplants, or flower beds. Reducing our home water use can be done by using these simple changes. Not only will the water bill go down, but the most precious resource on Earth won't be, literally, going down the drain. â&#x20AC;˘

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HAVING A BEER WITH | FISH

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Before his on-air identity had been hatched, “Fish” was attending college in Mayville, N.D., when his friend suggested they go into the wedding DJ business together and move to Fargo. Fish fell for it hook, line and sinker. The problem (which turned into a blessing) was that some of his credits from Mayville didn’t transfer to MSU Moorhead, so Fish knew he had to find an internship and earn them back. That’s when he caught wind of an opportunity at Radio FM Media. He’d always liked public speaking, so it seemed like a natural fit. That was in 2014. Since then, Fish has been a radio DJ for Q105.1 ROCKS from 7 p.m. to midnight and now for 107.9 The Fox from 2-7 p.m. Like a Fish to water, he’s learned everything he knows from good ol’ fashioned observation and coworkers’ expertise. On a beautiful fall day one week before his wedding, Fish made time to chat over a beer and his phone at Drekker’s Brewhalla to tell me some specifics about the man behind the mic. I didn’t even make any horrible puns during the interview. Read on to find out more about the radio personality. Good Life: You’re in a grocery store standing right behind another person. You’re not abiding the 6-feet-apart rule. You’re both wearing masks. What would be an extremely creepy thing to say to them? Fish: I’d go up over their shoulder all creepy like and whisper, “Hey, want some hand sanitizer?”

WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

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HAVING A BEER WITH | FISH

GL: What are your thoughts on decorating for every season? F: As far as decorating, I’m a big decorate-your-lawn-with-inflatables and put-lights-up kind of person. My favorite holidays are the Fourth of July and Halloween. Halloween is handsdown my favorite holiday. So I get the Fourth of July to blow stuff up, and then I get the spooky, scary stuff for Halloween. I’m very into decorating for all the holidays and getting involved.

F: Before my fiancée came into my life, I would get kind of the same thing all the time. My fiancée’s mother is a hairstylist by trade, so now every other time I’m getting something different. It smells and makes my hair feel different every time. I’ve done that with body soap now, too. I’ll get a different scent or brand almost every time, just because it changes things up a little bit. Life is boring with the same thing over and over again.

GL: If you could convince someone of one thing, what would it be? F: For me it would be that people need to listen to everyone else’s opinions and be open to their ideas. They could be wrong and be completely against your views, but take a minute and listen to each other. I think our world would be a much better place if we just took time to listen to each other.

GL: If you’ve ever had Corn Flakes, do you eat them plain, plain with milk, or with sugar and milk? F: Sugar and milk, and here’s the thing about Corn Flakes; it’s not like I go out and search for Corn Flakes all the time. But every once in a while I’ll catch this show called “The Food That Built America,” and it’s about Hershey’s, Kellogg’s and all those brands. If I catch even a little bit of that episode, I’m eating Corn Flakes for a week straight. Sometimes I’ll put a little honey on them with milk. That’s really good, too.

GL: If you had to make up a cuss word substitute, what would it be? F: Off the top of my head, “flabbernackle.” GL: Do you buy the same kind of shampoo every time or do you switch it up a lot? 16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

GL: What would be a better name for a dry cleaning business? F: Shirt So Clean. It markets better. Think of all the laundry detergents

out there. As someone who works in marketing, I could brand that. Maybe I have my next career choice—opening up a dry cleaning place called Shirt So Clean. GL: You could also make a new candle scent named “Shirt So Clean” and it would have that weird detergenty smell. F: Yes, one up from the “clean linen” scent. GL: What would your best friend assume you’d done if you were arrested without an explanation? F: We had my bachelor party a few weeks ago and we actually talked about what I would get arrested for. If I’m getting arrested, I’ve probably already had a few too many drinks. I might get a little argumentative, if I don’t know why I’m getting arrested, so disorderly conduct or resisting arrest—or speeding. One of those three, for sure. GL: Did you grow up believing in Santa, and at what age did you realize he wasn’t real? F: Yes, I grew up believing in Santa. The reason I found out he didn’t exist was because my parents had gotten me something for Christmas and it

broke, so we had to take it back to Sears. I was like, “But wait a minute,” and then it all clicked. Everything came together and it was not good. I kind of already had known, but that put all the pieces together. I was like, “I’ve been lied to.” The feeling of getting lied to as a kid feels the same as being an adult. I don’t remember what age I was, but I was still pretty young. I didn’t cry, but I was angry. My dad still jokes about the day I actually found out. My mom was always like, “You have to believe in Santa in order to get gifts,” so even after I didn’t believe I was like, yup, yup. To this day—at 27 years old—I still get the gifts from Santa. That’s just how my mom operates, and so does my fiancé. GL: If you were to come up with a new tradition what would it be? F: Fireworks for every holiday. GL: Yes! That’s something I could get behind. Anything else? F: This is less of a tradition and more of a standard, but I don’t think you should be able to start decorating for Christmas until after Halloween because I like Halloween so much. You can celebrate for a little more than the month, but don’t be selling Christmas stuff in October. Let me celebrate my Halloween and Thanksgiving and then celebrate Christmas. GL: What does living the good life mean to you? F: Doing what you love. Doing things that make you more fulfilled and make your life more joyful, and having people in your life that support you and the things you like. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy in life. Keep all the negative people out. •

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ON THE COVER | SLED HOCKEY

WRITTEN BY: ALEXIS SWENSON

Bill and Adair Grommesh founded Hope, Inc. in 2006 to offer their child, who was born with a disability, access to adaptive sports. They quickly fell into sled hockey with Bill serving as the coach and have been watching the Hurricanes gain traction in the Fargo-Moorhead community since. As one of the most competitive sled hockey programs in the country, Bill and Adair Grommesh cannot stress enough how incredibly valuable each athlete on the team is. “When you start a competitive program, you’re going to have bruises and bumps. At the beginning, we just got beat

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PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

up and didn’t have many victories. Then, we started to win a few games and then win a few tournaments. In 2018 we had the best Junior Sled Hockey team in the country. It was a long journey that we never would have imagined in a million years. The best part is that it’s more than hockey. The belonging piece is the number one part of why we do this,” said Bill Grommesh.

Many players have been on the Adult team for several years including Dr. Tom Rene, age 48, who has played with the Hurricanes for six years. “It’s been fun to see the program grow over the years. The camaraderie is great here. My friendships are better than they’ve ever been. We’re a family,” said Rene. THE TEAM Hurricanes sled hockey players range in age from 5-60+ and both men and women are welcome on the teams. At minimum, there are always two adult teams and at least one junior team which is rare for a community the size for Fargo-Moorhead. The junior team is capped at age 18 and players can move up depending on their skill to play at a higher level. “We have a lot of players and interest. Large cities don’t have the number of teams and participants that we do. We want to make sure that anyone that plays sled hockey is feeling welcome and finding success. We get folks where they need to be on the ice, on the team, and finding success,” said Bill Grommesh.

Within the program now, two women, Chloe Kirkpatrick and Brynn Duncan, have made the USA Women’s National Sled Hockey team and two men, Tyler Shepersky and Grant Boser, have been repeatedly invited to participate in the national Paralympic development camp, U.S.A. Hockey Sled Select Camp, in Buffalo, NY in hopes of someday making the U.S.A. Paralympic sled team. Of 16-year-old Shepersky, Bill Grommesh said he’s an intense, fierce competitor. “He’s all in and his family is all in. Together, Shepersky and Boser are a very tough duo. I place them on opposite teams during scrimmages. They want to win so badly and kind of keep tally at practices. There’s no love lost when they play against one another. During tournaments, they’re back on the same team and compliment each other well,” said Bill Grommesh.

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ON THE COVER | SLED HOCKEY

WHAT IS SLED HOCKEY? While some folks are unsure what to expect before joining the team or watching the sport, everyone on the team can assure you that it’s no small feat to play sled hockey. The sport closely follows the rules of hockey and has the same high-intense physicality, camaraderie, and competition as stand up hockey. The only difference is that the players are strapped into a sled rather than standing. Each of the three Hurricanes teams are competitive in their own right when they play against other teams at the same level across the country. While the team practices year-round, the official season is from November to April. Practices are held three times a week to prepare for three regular on-season tournaments and nationals at the end of the season. For Hurricanes players, being on the team is about getting quality exercise, spending time with friends, and, of course, winning. “We’re here to win. Well, we’re also here to have fun, but the competitiveness is definitely here,” said Jarvis Wiest. Wiest plays on one of the adult team teams and used to play hockey competitively prior to an accident that resulted in paralysis of his legs. “Hockey is in my blood. I’m glad it can still be a part of my life at age 35. I’m truly blessed with what Bill and Adair have accomplished over the years. The camaraderie and friendships are incredible here,” said Wiest. 20 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

Anthony Segura, age 60, has played on the adult team for four years. “I love being around these guys and getting exercise. It’s a great energy release. Sometimes, you don’t know how to release negative energy. Well, this is a great way to do it,” said Segura. MORE THAN HOCKEY For Bill Grommesh, the greatest part about coaching the Hurricanes is that it is so much more than just hockey. “For me, the best piece is the camaraderie: the joking around, the connections players make, and how they’re supporting each other on and off of the ice. I love to see the emotion from the parents. When parents bring their kids for the first time or when adults play for the first time, I get to see the realization on their face that they can do this, that they’re going to find success, and that this is something incredibly awesome. That’s by far the best part of what we do,” said Bill Grommesh.

“FOR ME, THE BEST PIECE IS THE CAMARADERIE: THE JOKING AROUND, THE CONNECTIONS PLAYERS MAKE, AND HOW THEY’RE SUPPORTING EACH OTHER ON AND OFF OF THE ICE.” – BILL GROMMESH •••

With such a wide age range of players, a sort of natural mentorship has emerged, unplanned. “It gives a sense of assurance and hope to parents that it’s going to be okay. Kids have an outlet here; they have what everybody else has. Kids and parents can see that these adult players have a family, a job, and friends. It’s this deeply rooted sense of self within our whole family and striving to be the best you can be. Not everybody is going to achieve that Paralympic goal, but we want everyone to find success and be the best they can be,” said Adair Grommesh.

Coach Grommesh has focused heavily on building a team of high integrity that plays a clean, fair game and for the players to display good sportsmanship on and off the ice. As a result, the Hurricanes have earned recognition across the country as being a team of integrity and highly skilled athletes. This has increased their likelihood of being invited to play in various tournaments including the junior team being invited to play in the First International Youth Sled Hockey Invitational last October in Grand Rapids, Mich. They were one of only three U.S. Junior Sled Hockey teams from across the United States invited to play against an All-star team from Russia.

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ON THE COVER | SLED HOCKEY

THE HURRICANES HAVE EARNED RECOGNITION ACROSS THE COUNTRY AS BEING A TEAM OF INTEGRITY AND HIGHLY SKILLED ATHLETES. ••• Travel is often required to play in these tournaments. The top adult team always opts to travel due to having three players who are trying to vie for the Paralympics. The Hurricanes teams have traveled to San Jose, Calif.; Tampa Bay, Fla.; Buffalo, N.Y.; Detroit; Chicago; and Minneapolis to play teams from Texas, Seattle, Baltimore, Chicago, Philadelphia, D.C., and many others. “It’s not only playing the sport, but being able to experience travel. A lot of kids in wheelchairs never get this opportunity and the things that they’ve been able to do is great. Being able to do that as a team just draws them closer together,” said Adair Grommesh.

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GET INVOLVED There are many ways to support the team throughout the year including attending or volunteering at the March fundraising tournament the Hurricanes host on their home ice at Angel’s Arena in Fargo, ND. “The financial piece is always huge, but more importantly, we want people to help spread the word of what we’re doing. If you know a disabled veteran, or anyone who has a mobility challenge, tell them about our organization or help them get here,” said Bill Grommesh. For those who are interested in joining the team, Bill and Adair Grommesh and the team are more than welcoming. “Once we get them here, they’re hooked. We see all the positive parts about participating in the sport. We realize the anxiety and depression that comes along with having a disability. We want them to come here so they can have an outlet from that. And we hear from our athletes that this sport and this team help serve as an outlet from the challenges of having a disability,” said Adair Grommesh. “The biggest message I would want people to know is that we are athletes out here. We enjoy it and folks will get hooked on it too if they try it. A lot of disabled athletes don’t know about it, but we want them to come try it,” said Segura. •

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WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

When you think of coffee, what are you picturing? Maybe it is a delicious cup of espresso, or perhaps an icecold caramel latte? Believe it or not, coffee first originated in a protein-rich snack bar accompanied by animal fat, according to pbs.com. Although we call them coffee beans, in its original unprocessed form, coffee is a cherry-like fruit – which becomes red when ripe while the bean is the pit. There are a couple of ways they can harvest these beans from the fruit – washed and natural process. Washed (or wet) is the process of removing the fruit from the bean and then laying them out to dry, rotating them often; this is the most popular form. The natural process involves keeping the fruit and bean intact and undisturbed, where they get laid out to dry as a whole unit until they are separated from the dried fruit and sent off to a roaster before being

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brewed, according to Coldbrewhub.com. Now that we have the history of coffee down, we can get into it with one of our local roasters, Dexter "Dex" Dutton of Thunder Coffee in West Fargo, ND. Thunder Coffee has been open for a year this October in their West Fargo location. It is safe to say they are doing well if they had the initiative to jump into the roasting business. "It is not super common to have a roaster for a café our size. Usually, cafes that have been around a little bit longer have a larger following," laughed Dex. The Oklahoma native took a big chance opening up a coffee shop with his brother Skyler Dutton, and it has paid off. Not only for them but for coffee drinkers everywhere. When they first started a year and a half ago, Dex took a crash course on their old 250 kg roaster, which

"When COVID kind-of kicked off, we saw that was going to be a thing we decided we needed to do something with "I picked that up, but I didn't spend too much roasting, so I hopped back on time on it. I roasted maybe 20 pounds that half-pound machine. We and burnt all of it; it was undrinkable," got 100 pounds of green laughed Dex. "So that kind of "It is not super coffee in and I roasted a discouraged me, but we opened common to have little over 130 pounds up the West Fargo location and a roaster for a café on that roaster," stated got that going, so I didn't have Dex. too much time to think about our size. Usually, cafes that; it was kind-of a faraway that have been around a Now, remember, that goal." little bit longer have a is a half-pound per 20 larger following." minutes. This is what As time passed, and they dedication to the craft honed in on their coffee – Dex Dutton looks like. business. Through the café, Red River Market, providing coffee for Black Coffee and Fast forward to September, Waffle Bar, and keeping the staff where they had a 12-pound and customers caffeinated at Drekker roaster from Mill City Coffee Brewing Company, amongst many other Roasters installed in their additional venues. location. produces about a half-pound per 20-minute session.

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"Before getting this roaster, I rented some time on a 10 kg machine – still only getting about 12 lbs each batch - and I feel like I got it more under control now, so how do I dial that into this machine?" specified Dex. "I did take a class with Mill City Coffee Roasters after we bought this roaster, but prior to that, I had no formal coffee information." To be clear – there was some time between purchasing this roaster and installation. Because of the amount of coffee they are putting out, whether it be for specific local businesses or shipping their product across the country to places like Alaska, Georgia, Oklahoma, and so on, getting this roaster was the next best thing they could do with their expanding business. "We send a lot of coffee to Drekker through the cold brew they go through because each half-barrel keg of cold brew they go through takes 15 pounds of coffee," exclaimed Dex. "If I had been doing that on our old half pound roaster, that would have been what, 30-40 roasts!"

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Dex is also a part-time employee for Drekker Brewing as a bartender and a beer delivery driver for their Minneapolis drops. "It is so awesome to go into a place I work part-time and drink my coffee there, or tell people about my coffee, and just seeing people love the product. That is super reaffirming to me," stated Dex. As they begin to expand even further with their coffee business, the roaster addition can help them reach levels they weren't able to before. "We plan to be roasting five times a week, and I won't be able to keep up with that, so we have sent one of our employees through the same training course," stated Dex. "Providing that value to the local community but also able to reach an audience that is much larger than our location in West Fargo, that's the goal." If you haven't had a chance to grab a cup of their delicious coffee, I highly suggest you do it sooner rather than later. You won't be disappointed. •

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ASK 30 WOMEN

Gentlemen, the upcoming new year is the perfect time to become a better human, or at least a less irritating more self-aware human. 2020 had been less than perfect for many of us. One thing the health experts may not report: Quarantine life has created an all time high for irritating habits. The little and not-so-little things that drive your partner crazy. We asked 30 random women...

WHAT ANNOYING HABITS DO YOU WISH YOUR PARTNER WOULD BREAK FOR THE NEW YEAR?

LEAVING THE CUPBOARD DOORS OPEN.

AVOIDING THE DOCTOR. VISIT THE DOCTOR, PLEASE.

SWEARING, LIKE YOU’RE IN THE PUB.

ASKING ME IF I HAVE PLANS FOR SUPPER AT 5PM WHEN I’M STILL AT WORK.

CONSTANTLY ON HIS PHONE. STAY OFF YOUR PHONE. MAYBE READ A BOOK?

STAYING IN THE HOUSE WAY TOO MUCH. GET OUTSIDE AND ENJOY NATURE.

NOT CALLING OR TEXTING IF HE’S GOING TO BE LATE.

MAKING SNIFFING NOISES ALL THE TIME.

CHEWING WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN AND SMACKING HIS GUMS.

GETTING MAD WHEN I MOVE HIS STUFF. HE THINKS IT’S ‘LOST’.

EATING POORLY. EAT BETTER, BE HEALTHIER.

LEAVING STUFF EVERYWHERE.

SMOKING… STOP IT ALREADY!

TEXTING. YOU CAN ALSO USE THAT PHONE TO MAKE CALLS.

SNORING… MAMA NEEDS HER ZZZZ’S!

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ONE WORD… PROCRASTINATION!

HIS ROAD RAGE! HE HAS NO PATIENCE FOR HORRIBLE DRIVERS.

TRYING TO GROW A BEARD. IT’S JUST NOT WORKING.

SLOUCHING. SIT UP STRAIGHT.

SLURPING COFFEE. I CAN'T TAKE IT!

HANGING ON TO THOSE OLD T-SHIRTS. PLEASE, BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES.

SCREAMING AT THE TV.

DEBATING POLITICS WITH EVERYONE.

NOT EXERCISING ENOUGH OR AT ALL. EXERCISE MORE OR AT LEAST SOME.

BITING YOUR NAILS. EWWWW!

SPITTING CHEWING TOBACCO, OR JUST STOP USING CHEWING TOBACCO WOULD BE NICE.

NEVER CLEANING YOUR CAR.

ANY ANNOYING NOISES THAT COME OUT OF HIS BODY.

ACTING LIKE YOU DON’T HEAR ME.

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LOCAL HERO | FARGO MEMORIAL HONOR GUARD

Local Hero: Fargo Memorial Honor Guard Honoring Those Who Have Gone Before Us Relatively new to the area, the Fargo National Cemetery is a special place for veterans to receive their final farewell. Located at 8709 40th Ave. N., County Road 20, Harwood, N.D., the Fargo National Cemetery officially opened on Sept. 7, 2019 with a dedication ceremony from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. The new cemetery is operated remotely by officials at the Fort Snelling National Cemetery in Minneapolis, Minn.

Prior to the new cemetery being constructed, North Dakota was one of only ten states to not have a national veterans cemetery. Phase 1 of the construction has been completed which offers more than 3,000 casket and cremation spaces to accommodate burials for the next ten years. The cemetery provides casket burials, in-ground cremation burials, columbarium niches for cremation burials, and a memorial wall. 30 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

WRITTEN BY: ALEXIS SWENSON PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

Fargo Memorial Honor Guard

Along with the establishment of the Fargo National Cemetery was the development of the Fargo Memorial Honor Guard. The Fargo Memorial Honor Guard is solely dedicated to the Fargo National Cemetery. It is a volunteer group made up of roughly 30 veterans from the United Patriotic Bodies in the Fargo-Moorhead area. Fargo resident, Marv Nicklay, serves as the Sergeant of the Guard for the Fargo Memorial Honor Guard. At 80 years of age, Nicklay works to coordinate all the Honor Guard volunteers. He jokes that getting involved was just like joining the service: he said yes without knowing what he was saying yes to. Upon joining, Nicklay polled the United Patriotic Bodies for interest in the Fargo Memorial Honor Guard and began recruiting members. "Now members are coming from word of mouth when they hear about us at their local meeting or from others who are involved. It's a lot of work, but I enjoy it," said Nicklay.

"We all volunteer because of our love for our fellow veterans." â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Russel Stabler

Nicklay is also responsible for creating the duty roster which involves contacting each of the roughly 30 volunteers for their availability on a weekly basis. The day before a burial, Nicklay finalizes the duty roster and emails the group with their assignments. Monday through Friday, there are five burial slots offered each day at 9 a.m., 10 a.m., 11 a.m., 1 p.m., and 2 p.m. Nicklay also completes a monthly volunteer Man Hours report and submits it to the Volunteer Service Dept., Fargo VA. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 31

LOCAL HERO | FARGO MEMORIAL HONOR GUARD

Additionally, he helps onboard new volunteers including making sure they have all that they need and directing them to the tailor who will fit their uniform appropriately. To conduct a ceremony, the minimum required number of individuals on the rifle team is three and the maximum number is seven. Nicklay strives to have seven individuals along with a bugler and a squad leader. If the group is short on available people, Nicklay fills in. Nicklay also is responsible for watching and handling the rifles that were loaned to the group from the Fargo AMVETS. "We've got good, dedicated people. We're out there no matter what the weather is. If it's downpouring, we stay thereâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;we stayed out even before we received our rain jackets. In the wintertime we have parkas," said Nicklay. The cemetery has been especially beneficial to veterans who are originally from the Fargo-Moorhead 32 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

"About 9.5 times out some of the family and thank us for â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Marv

of 10 after a burial, members will stop by doing the honors." Nicklay

area who wish to be buried close to home, but live elsewhere in the country. Oftentimes, families would bury their loved ones at the state cemetery in Mandan, ND. Now, having the option of the national cemetery in Fargo means that families do not have to drive as far to visit their loved ones. Giving honors to those who earned it Nicklay is deeply rooted in this community of veterans and is humbled to honor those who have served. "The guys that we have volunteering are dedicated people. Their main purpose is being there and rendering final military rights for the veterans who have earned it. For myself, I do it to give back to the veterans for what they gave to us," said Nicklay. A particularly memorable experience for Nicklay occurred over the summer. During the three month time period in which the Fargo Memorial Honor Guard was unable to perform ceremonies due to the ongoing pandemic, 13 veterans were buried at the Fargo National Cemetery without honors. "They should have honors and receive the honors they earned. On August 8, Jason Hicks, United Patriotic Bodies Commander, set it all up so that each of those 13 veterans would receive their deserved honors. There were about 140-150 family members in attendance and it was well appreciated," said Nicklay. The day consisted of a ceremony every half hour where the individuals' name, rank, branch of service, and service date was announced. A chaplain led a prayer service and 18 Fargo Memorial Honor Guard members spent the entire day out at the cemetery. Additionally, Nicklay appreciates the peace and honor family members receive from the ceremony. "About 9.5 times out of 10 after a burial, some of the family members will stop by and thank us for doing the honors. When we're done firing, we pick up the brass and present the empty casings in a pouch to the family. It's a presentation urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 33

LOCAL HERO | FARGO MEMORIAL HONOR GUARD

touch type thing we leave with them that they really appreciate," said Nicklay. For others, volunteering is a natural way for them to give back and stay connected with the veteran community. Ron Freed of West Fargo, N.D. has been involved with the honor guard for various organizations since 1972. Serving the Fargo Memorial Honor Guard as Squad Leader is his way of giving back. Freed volunteers up to five days a week and enjoys being surrounded by like-minded individuals. "It takes a dedicated crew of guys that will come out there day in and day out in any kind of weather. Weather doesn't mean anything to us. We go out there with humility and honor to do this for our fallen comrades. We all feel good about doing it. It's in our DNA," said Freed. Fellow member Russel Stabler of Hunter, N.D. immediately filled out an application for the group as soon as he heard it was forming. "I strongly believe in taking care of my fellow veterans and their families. This is just one thing I can do besides what I do with various other veterans groups. We all volunteer because of our love for our fellow veterans," said Stabler. 70-year-old Stabler also serves as a Squad Leader and fills in as Minister when needed.

Eligibility

"A lot of people aren't aware that we even have a national cemetery here. It's a final resting place for veterans, their spouse, 34 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

and eligible family members," said Nicklay. All members and veterans of the armed forces are eligible to be buried in a VA national cemetery if they have met minimum active-duty service requirements and were not dishonorably discharged. Members of the reserve armed forces who pass away while on active duty, while on training duty, were eligible for retired pay, or were called to active duty and served the full term of service may also be eligible for burial. A veteran's spouse, widow or widower, minor children, and under certain conditions, adult unmarried children with disabilities can be buried in the VA cemetery.

Get involved

The Fargo Memorial Honor Guard works to express honor, respect, and gratitude for so many veterans who have served their country. "They were promised this and we're making sure it happens," said Freed. To get involved with the Fargo Memorial Honor Guard, Nicklay suggests contacting your local veterans organization. "We're always looking for volunteers. We've got members from all groups representing the United Patriotic Bodies. There's always someone in a local group for interested parties to talk to and learn more," said Nicklay. â&#x20AC;˘

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