The Good Life Men's Magazine - September/October 2015 by The Good Life Men's Magazine

NOTHING TO SHAKE A STICK AT

Learning the Art of the Handshake BY: MEGHAN FEIR

There is an art form that requires no paint, no canvas and no depressed artist. It determines whether people you meet think you’re a masterpiece of a man or the ugly version of Dorian Gray’s portrait. First impressions may be wrong, but they’re always remembered. Your handshake paints a picture that will, whether you like it or not, determine what others initially think about you, until proven otherwise. For centuries, the shaking of hands has symbolized more than a standard “Nice to meet you.” They have signaled tangible agreements, contracts and promises. Believe me, sir, handshakes are a crucial part of life, so you’d best learn how to do it properly. 2

The limp and lifeless

There are things less attractive than a limp handshake, but I can’t think of any at the moment. When the power behind your hand is less firm than the grip of a newborn baby, you have a problem. Humans have been known to overanalyze (except for me, of course), and if your grip seems weak and apathetic, their impression of you may be less than savory. They might think you’re weak-minded. They may find you lazy. They could think you lack personality and confidence. Who are “they,” anyway? “They” are the people who matter and the people who don’t, but “they” could be your potential employer, best

friend, or wife, if only you could learn how to shake properly. You can’t just shake a stick at this, writing it off into tomorrow’s problems, unless you really do want to emasculate yourself and inform them how lackadaisical you really are.

The finger exchange

“Hi. Here are three of my fingers and a thumb. Take them.” Don’t just hand people some of your fingers as a hello. It’s awkward and exudes a lot of apathy, malaise and annoyingness, much like “The limp and lifeless” style of greeting. “The finger exchange” is actually disgusting. It makes people cringe. Avoid this at all costs, unless you prefer coming off as a creeper. If that’s your goal, pair it with a baggy Hawaiian shirt, greasy hair and a molestache.

Mr. Crusher

There have been several times in my life where I thought my bones were being crushed. Don’t be the cause of this pain. Don’t overcompensate for your insecurities by feeling the need to crush friendly hands. They’re innocent. There is a time and a place to break things apart that were once held together by glue, fiber, bones or cartilage, like if you live on a farm, are starving and have to break a chicken’s neck (gross), or when it’s finally time to take down that prized structure you made out of toothpicks and wood glue. However, it’s inappropriate to break someone’s phalanges in an otherwise congenial setting.

The confident conman

Even if you’re selling body wash that smells like bacon, you have a better chance of selling it when your handshake is on point. Follow my advice, boys. • Give 1-3 up-and-downs. Don’t go hummingbird style on them because it’s annoying and could damage their nerves. • The shake should last no longer than a few seconds. • Have a firm grip, but keep their bones in fine condition. • Make eye contact and smile before, throughout, and a short bit after the shake. • Smile with your mouth and your eyes. Remember, it takes more muscles to frown. That probably applies to sad-looking eyes, too. • Wipe the sweat off your clam hands prior to the exchange. If you do these things, you will emit confidence, charisma, and an apparent interest in meeting the previously unmet. They’ll appreciate it, you’ll become popular and may even grow more chest hair. Go forth and shake with confidence! 3

ON the cover 18

REBEL WITH A CAUSE CEO Gary Wolsky Continues to Impact Families

iN this issue

NOTHING TO SHAKE A STICK AT Learning the Art of the Handshake

SOME HISTORY AND SOME HELPFUL HINTS FOR THIS HALLOWEEN

08 10

COOL GADGETS FOR GUYS

LOCAL ATV CLUB Offers Fun and Friendship

CROSSFIT CRAZE A Workout Regimen Unique in Comparison

FATHERS Get Your Kids Involved in Taking Care of the Family Car

LOCAL HEROES Make-A-Wish Makes A Difference

HAVING A BEER WITH ... John Strand

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BY: PAUL HANKEL

A chance for kids to stay up late pounding bite-sized Hershey’s bars while amassing literal pounds of candy. It’s also a chance for parents to use up a few of those grocery bags we all have stuffed under our kitchen sinks, and to steal from our children under the guise of, “taste-testing one of everything … just to make sure it’s not poisoned.”

A peek at the origins of two favorite Halloween activities and how to avoid being blacklisted on your neighbor kid’s Halloween Trick-or-Treat route.

For those without children, namely females, Halloween represents a chance to dress up as a sexy (insert literally ANYTHING here) or this year’s most popular other costume and slam, then puke up, orange and green shots all over said costume. While everyone pretty much resembles a sweaty zombie by the end of the night, Halloween is still a fun change to escape from your normal self and to don a costume and participate in one of America’s most popular holidays. The following is a small window into the history of some of our favorite Halloween activities, along with a list of candies to avoid giving out, if you don’t want to be THAT neighbor. Enjoy!

A Halloween staple, the Jack-OLantern’s origin is uncertain. Most historians credit 1900’s Ireland as the birthplace of Jack-O-Lanterns, although the carving of gourds, melons, and other hollow fruits had been around for several hundreds of years prior. One account, from 18th Century England, recalls families hollowing out gourds, carving a menacing face on

the outside, and placing a small candle inside. The gourd was then placed on one’s stoop to scare away late-night travelers.

The candy industry’s equivalent of Black Friday sales, trick-or-treating is, by far, the most popular of all Halloween customs. The tradition is said to date back to the Middle Ages, where children would dress up and sing songs for the dead, in turn for sweets. A similar practice took place in Scotland, the earliest account being from 1985, where children would dress up and go door to door asking for treats. While the act of going door to door stems from the 1800’s, the actual saying of, “Trick-or-treat,” is mainly an American tradition, made popular in the 1920’s. Today, trick-or-treating is as popular as ever, with an estimated 90% of children participating in some form of trick-or-treating or Halloween activity. Needless to say, it’s good to be in the confectionary and costume business during October, with Americans spending nearly half a billion dollars annually on Halloween candy alone!

Disclaimer: This survey was done in the most basic, yet reliable, way possible – by asking a bunch of candy-loving kids! Anything NOT candy: Toothbrushes, fruits and vegetables (Seriously?! However, dentists can be forgiven for doing this because they’re, well, dentists. And let’s be honest, you already don’t like your dentist anyway, so what’s the harm), pocket Bibles, stickers, pens … you get the idea. Candy Corn: This author thinks it has something to do with the fact that it has a vegetable in its name, however according to our survey, candy corn is described as being, “just weird,” and as having, “Texture issues. Some are soft and chewy and some are hard as a rock, which makes me think they (the givers) just kept the leftovers from last year to use this year. Hello, expiration dates!” Tootsie Rolls: Its plain and simple – Tootsie Rolls are seen as the Nickelback of candies-overplayed and should’ve been retired circa 1998, after a three year stint. While the flavored ones offer nice variety, Tootsie Rolls are sadly viewed as a, “you stopped at the CVS on the way home, Halloween night,” candy. You’re better than that. Anything with black licorice flavoring – whether it’s Good & Plentys or actual black licorice … just don’t. Almond Joy and Mounds bars: Never, in the history of children, has a child ever said, “I’m in the mood for some shredded coconut and almonds, enrobed in chocolate.” This writer can’t back up this statement with any factual evidence, but, I think we can agree that the Almond Joys that line the street gutters and bottoms of our trash cans, every year on November 1st, speak for themselves.

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BY: MEGHAN FEIR | PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

e’s worn nearly every hat at the High Plains Reader. From making coffee and replacing toilet paper to being an editor, publisher and co-owner, John Strand personally knows how every facet of his business 10 operates.

You may know he’s from Crystal, N.D., or about his love for water towers and advertising, but I can guarantee you haven’t heard his viewpoints on the following questions, unless, of course, you had the audacity to ask John before I did.

THE INTERVIEW Good Life: Are you ready for these really weird questions? John Strand: I am, I think. GL: Are you scared? JS: Yes.

GL: Good. Where did you go to college? JS: I went to North Dakota State University. My mom had gone there in 1937. It was the only option I had. It was green and gold, or green and gold, or green and gold, and I wasn’t

smart enough to realize there are warmer climates, so I went to NDSU. GL: If you grew up Amish, do you think you would leave your family forever and choose the outside world or stay on the farm, grow a

scraggly beard and create highquality furniture? JS: Whether it’s Amish or my reality growing up on the farm, I would leave and go out into the world. I remember when I left the farm the first time I walked on the 11 dirt road singing “I’m free!”

GL: If you could have chosen which accent you were born with, which dialect would you have picked? JS: You mean, besides Canadian from up North? Ya, sure. I really like Australian and English, but I don’t know. I kind of like ours because wherever I go, people kind of peg where I’m from. This happened even before the movie “Fargo,” ya know? Maybe I already picked my dialect by being born where I was born and through whom I was born. GL: If you were a vegetable or fruit, what kind would you be and why? JS: If I were a banana, I’d be appealing. I always wanted to be more appealing. GL: Have you ever danced in the rain? JS: Well, I have, probably. I’m not sure which influence I was under. GL: Where is the top place on your bucket list to visit right now? 12

JS: Oh, China. I understand them so little and they’re so much in the world. I’d like to draw some of my own conclusions and information about what their culture and their world is like. All I have is scant information that is probably not accurate at all about their culture. GL: If you could see one business come to the F-M area, what would it be and why? JS: I love the fruit market in Mandan. It’s one of my favorite shopping experiences in all of North Dakota. It’s this great big stand that has vegetables and fruit – more than you can shake a stick at – and I just keep thinking, why is this not in Fargo? It’s a family run business that’s been there forever. It’s homegrown – pun intended. GL: What is your favorite city? JS: Toronto. It’s just a really culturally rich, safe place to be, and there’s eye candy everywhere, as far as cultures go. It’s an extraordinary example of Canada’s best. I love Toronto.

GL: What is your favorite summertime activity? JS: This goes way back. My favorite summertime activity is watching the stars at night. You start realizing we’re way more than we think we are. Humanity thinks we’re the only life force that exists or that matters. I think all I know sometimes is what I don’t know, and then I realize how much I don’t know when I look past my nose. GL: What are your thoughts on golf being aired on TV? JS: Watching golf on television? It’s like watching paint dry. GL: Thank you. GL: Who is one of your favorite characters? JS: My favorite character is Clark Kent. If only there were more Supermen today, but there’s no phone booths, so where are you going to find a Clark Kent? He’s a good-looking, smart journalist by day and a hero by night – or in his off time. GL: If Batman and Superman were painting, who would make a more beautiful piece, and what would it depict? JS: Well, Batman would have more resources and material access, but I think Superman, with his personal superpowers, which really were his own, would have delivered something more spectacular. I think he would depict something that suggests a human being, maybe a woman, in distress that needs our help. And we’d all be called to action. Batman’s butler, Alfred, may have been the best of all of them.

and strong. His presence was formidable. I’d happily weigh over 200 pounds with a 30-inch collar. GL: Who has been one of the biggest influencers of your life, besides Superman? JS: Superwoman would be my mom. She was a woman ahead of her time. She was a woman editor back when men ran the world in the ‘60s and ‘70s. She was a political leader when women didn’t do that. But more than that, she was a good leader because she successfully kept seven kids on the farm from killing each other. Now that’s leadership. GL: What does living "the good life” mean to you? JS: Well, "the good life” to me means that one has a gleam in their eye; they have a sense of self that says they’re okay with who they are; they celebrate whatever it is they’re all about. I think that’s the real wealth in living is being who you are, in the present with whatever you’re doing or whomever you’re with. To me, that’s the good life. You can’t buy, create or fabricate that. The good life is being you, and the best you you can be right now. That’s the good life, and it’s the name of a good magazine in town that draws this kind of stuff out of people over beer.

GL: Bowties or regular ties? JS: I’ve been studying bowties with YouTube videos, and when I look into a mirror, it reverses everything. I should’ve learned when I was young. I have probably 400 regular ties and six or so bowties. I want to be a bowtie guy, but I’m not there yet. I can do a really good Windsor with my eyes closed with a regular tie. GL: If you were a dog, what breed would you be and why, and what would your name be? JS: My favorite breed is an English mastiff. I’d be a big, gentle giant, but I would have a strength that, when called upon, would terrify people. I’m going to go with my own English mastiff male’s name, Tarvos. Tarvos was a real name from a few thousand years back in the world of the druids. He was the big, chiseled, strong protector of the chief druid in this ancient culture. He was quiet 13

BY: DANIELLE TEIGEN | PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

or 11 years, the Red River Riders ATV Club has been bringing community members together through a common love of all things related to all-terrain vehicles. Individuals or families can join the club to attend monthly meetings and participate in excursions on local trails; a majority of the clubâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s membership 14

is families, explained Secretary Kerry Johnson. He said children are present on nearly every ride, making the club a family-friendly option for those who enjoy riding and the great outdoors. Johnsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s son has been riding an ATV since he was 5 years old. In May, the club hosted a hands-on youth safety training session for riders ages 12-15 that supplements the

program the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources requires to become a certified ATV driver. The annual training gives youth an opportunity to put into practice what they learned through the DNR test and to obtain their safety certificate. Riders over the age of 16 are recommended to participate in the safety training, but it is not required. In addition to the training session,

Local ATV CLUB OFFERS FUN AND FRIENDSHIP

the club offers two rides each month from May to October as well as other excursions beyond that time frame. In the past couple of years, an average of 20 riders participated in each excursion, Johnson said. For an excursion to the Appleton, Minnesota, ATV Park, 30 machines participated. Club membership has been rising as the organization becomes more visible.

People have learned about the club through the website, its Facebook page, advertisements and parades. When Peter Murch bought his first ATV, he wondered what he was going to do with it. He discovered the Red River Riders ATV Club and joined in 2007. He was happy to find camaraderie among the members because going out on a ride by yourself can be intimidating.

That intimidation is precisely what the club aims to alleviate. “We have expert guides on each ride who have experience on trails so riders don’t have to worry about getting lost,” Johnson explained. A typical ride involves meeting at a designated location and heading out for a 2-hour ride before stopping for lunch. The group typically rides for 15

club. “Anyone is welcome to come on a ride and just see what’s going on,” Murch said. For larger rides, the group may break into smaller factions based on speed and experience of the riders. While local trails are great for riding, the club would eventually like to develop a local ATV park; the nearest one is in Appleton, Minnesota. For that to happen, the club would need to secure a site with a few hundred acres near the Fargo-Moorhead community. As far as funding goes,

another couple of hours on the way back, and stops are decided by riders — maybe they want to check out a local attraction or a cool nature spot or simply want to chat with some of the other riders, Johnson explained. Rides are organized to stay within 50 miles — or one tank of fuel — and they are typically low-speed to ensure safety. Some rides, like the Smokey Hills in Park Rapids, Minnesota, offer every style of trail — sand, rock, winding, trees, everything. Others, like the Agassiz Recreational Trail from Ulen to Fertile, Minnesota, are great rides for beginners who want a basic, flat course that will allow them to get comfortable with their machine. The club also organizes night rides to provide another type of riding experience. Rides coincide with a full moon, and an uncomplicated, wide trail is selected to ensure safety. The ride typically begins at 8 p.m. and lasts until midnight, offering riders a chance to truly experience nature in a new way. “We want to make sure everyone is having fun and that it’s a good experience for everyone,” Johnson said. “Riding with friends is a lot more fun than having just one or two 16

machines. Riding can be a very social sport.” Sociability comes with responsibility, which is why the club focuses on safety. Drinking on rides is not allowed, and rules and laws are obeyed at all times. Ride leaders are designated based on experience and familiarity with the particular route, which helps inexperienced riders focus on what is legal and what isn’t when riding. Safety gear is available on all rides in the event of an emergency, and an experienced rider is assigned to the back of the group as well. “We always ride to the ability of the least experienced,” Johnson explained. Interested riders can join an excursion before becoming a member of the

the Minnesota DNR offers a grant-inaid program that could supply some matching funds, with the club raising the rest of the money. Johnson and Murch acknowledged that a park is a distant dream, but it’s still important for living a good life of ATV riding. Learning how to navigate wooded areas and obstacles is crucial to the safety and enjoyment of a ride. That’s why the club hosts the youth training session each year. Both Johnson and Murch are certified trainers in both North Dakota and Minnesota, and they want to make sure ATV riding is as safe as possible for everyone involved. Learn more about the organization at www.redriverridersatv.org.

facts about atv RIDING The term Off-Highway Vehicle (OHV) refers to all-terrain vehicles, off-highway motorcycles and off-road vehicles. ATVs are divided into two classes based on tires and weight. • In Minnesota, anyone 12-15 years old and those born after July 1, 1987, must successfully complete ATV Safety Training before operating a vehicle on public lands, frozen waters, public road rights-of-way or state and grant-inaid trails. • In North Dakota, anyone 12-16 years old must have a valid driver’s license or an OHV safety certification card to operate a vehicle legally. • Both states require that vehicles be registered, and riders under the age of 18 must wear an approved helmet. • Riders are required to obey posted speed limits on any public lands or trails. Learn more about riding in North Dakota at www.parkrec.nd.gov/ recreation/ridesafe/ridesafe.html and in Minnesota at www.dnr.state.mn.us/ohv/index.html.

Rebel With a cause

CEO Gary Wolsky Continues to Impact Families BY: SHANE MERCER | PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

ary Wolsky grew up with an alcoholic father. His grades were often lousy. And the local juvenile supervisor knew him by his first name. It doesn’t sound like a recipe for success. And it doesn’t sound like a guy who would end up with a distinguished career in the field of family services. But, for over 30 years (and counting), Gary has headed up The Village Family Service Center, a Fargo-based nonprofit, providing a range of programming, including counseling, in-home family therapy, mentoring, adoption services, addiction therapy, and more. Gary provides guidance to legislators on family and children’s issues. He’s seen The Village through a sea of change and growth. And, along the way, he’s served on the Child Welfare League of America Board of Directors, the Governor’s Subcommittee on Children at Risk, the Cass-Clay United Way Board of Directors, the Family Therapy Coalition of Fargo-Moorhead Board of Directors, and the Board of Directors for the North Dakota Youth Justice Association. 18

“He has been so much on the cutting edge of developing programming for families and children,” said Jim Svobodny, former chair of the Social Work Department at Minnesota State University and a long-time friend. There is a grandfatherly kindness about Wolsky. Gary laughs frequently. His mind gravitates naturally to the big picture. He loves biographies and sailing. And he’s a devoted family man. Gary grew up in Enderlin, ND. And, while his dad was a heavy drinker, he was a soft-spoken man and not at all abusive. In fact, odd as it may sound, other than issues surrounding his dad’s alcohol use, Gary says his home was a healthy place. "They were wonderful people, my mom and dad,” Wolsky said. “I wouldn't trade them for anybody in the world. My dad just had this massive problem with alcohol that he was never able to succeed in dealing with.” At age 14, Wolsky took a job at a movie theater in his hometown. It wasn’t too long before the owner started leaving him in charge. “It was legitimate way of running away in a sense,” Gary said. 20

Gary enjoyed the freedom that working in the evenings and the 75-cent-anhour paycheck brought him. But he didn’t always handle the freedom well. He drank a lot. "Man, did I party,” he said. And that partying sometimes landed him in trouble with the law. "I know I kept my folks up more than a few nights kind of dealing with that sort of stuff,” Wolsky said. “And my grades were lousy; wasn't paying any attention to school.” Gary began taking up grown man’s work early on, getting construction and railroad jobs. It was, perhaps, an early indication of the independent streak that would be a signature of his life. Into college and beyond, Gary continued to party hard, but, despite that, earned his bachelor’s degree from the University of North Dakota in 1969, studying psychology. "I've always been fascinated by human behavior, how people work,” Wolsky said. “The fundamental DNA of anything, whether it's a family or a business, is individual behavior.” When Wolsky graduated from college, there was a draft lottery in place because of the Vietnam War. His draft number was low, and he knew what that meant. "I've never been a very patient person so I trotted from graduation down to my local draft board in Lisbon,” he said. He asked to be moved to the top of the list, and, by September, he had a draft notice. But, instead of Vietnam, he ended up in Germany. From there, he visited almost every country in Europe. After serving in the military, Wolsky earned his master's degree in Counseling and Guidance in 1972 from UND. As the years went by, Gary began to mature out of the party life. Having a

impact they made on families stuck with Wolsky.

“SOME PEOPLE ARE KIND OF STATUS QUO AND OKAY WITH LEAVING THINGS ALONE. I'VE NEVER BEEN OKAY WITH LEAVING THINGS ALONE.” — Gary Wolsky

few years under his belt slowed him down, but he also saw the risks that his behavior posed. He had, after all, watched the effect that alcohol abuse had on his father’s life. Today, Gary doesn’t drink at all. In 1973, Gary accepted a position in Rugby, ND. There, he spearheaded the establishment of the Family Therapy Institute of North Dakota. It also happens to be where he met Claudia, who would become his wife. Gary and his team did groundbreaking work during his tenure. "The whole concept of treating the families (in their entirety) of kids in trouble was alien,” Wolsky said. Families came into the center for a very intensive period of therapy and time together. And they’d go home with “incredible impact, very positive impact.” “Not that we had any magic, but you bring the family together in an intense sort of way and help them face their challenges, and they go home with some real fundamental changes," Gary said. As funding for the center ran out, the program wound down. But the

In 1983, The Village hired Wolsky as director of social services. Not too long after that, the position of president of the organization opened up, and Wolsky got the job. "When I came here in ‘83, I don't remember this precisely, but I think we had a couple dozen or maybe 30 staff,” he said. Today, The Village has about 250 employees and 21 locations in North Dakota and Minnesota. The programming has seen tremendous change as well. In 1987, The Village merged with the Center for Parents and Children in Moorhead, which marked The Village’s first step into Minnesota. The Village Family Magazine was launched in 1997. The Adoption Option partnership with LSSND began in 1999. The Village launched The Truancy Intervention Program in 2005. In 2006, The Village merged with Nokomis Child Care, which provides daycare for children, many of whom are experiencing special circumstances. The Village purchased First Step Recovery, an addiction treatment facility, in 2011. One Village program he’s particularly proud of is Intensive In-Home Family Therapy, a service that has roots back in the program Gary headed in Rugby. That program boasts a success rate of more than 80 percent, Wolsky said. That’s a lot of growth. “Some people are kind of status quo and okay with leaving things alone. I've never been okay with leaving things alone,” said Gary, a father of three and grandfather of four. “I have this old notion that either you're growing or you're dying.” The end game in all this, from Gary’s perspective, is to do a better job helping people. 21

“We're not interested here in building an empire of any sort,” Gary said. “I mean that's not the issue. The issue is what do folks need.” The same independent streak that’s run through Gary’s life, is also woven into the way The Village functions. “The not-for-profit world over the last 40 years has come to be very dependent on the government,” Gary said. “We have not, and we will not, because if 51 percent of your income comes from some government entity, you've just become a quasi-government organization, whether you have a 501(c)(3) status or not.” The Village is glad to work with the state and federal government when their visions align, Gary says, “but they don't own us.” “We're owned by the community,” he said, “which means we're accountable to the community.”

Those who have worked with him know about that fierce independence.

son, Mike, says his dad, “reads more books than anyone I know.”

“He’s very much an independent thinker and a very creative thinker,” said Jim Svobodny, who, along with his work at MSUM, also served on the Village board. “He likes to swim upstream sometimes. And sometimes for good reason.”

“I've never really left school," Gary said. Mike remembers the time a friend who worked at a local bookstore showed him a list of Gary’s book purchases over the past 12 months.

Yet, he values outside opinions and perspectives. Jim says Gary is always looking for new ideas. He seeks out information from others, and wants to hear their opinions. Though, as Jim said with a laugh, “He may not necessarily always take it.” Gary "follows the (dictum) ‘Seek first to understand,’” said Candy Haugen, a long-time Village staff member. That Gary was a poor student is a bit odd in light of how much he values continuing education. He promotes it to his staff and practices it himself. His

"And it was like 20 pages long on their computer system,” Mike said. “He's like, ‘I've never seen anyone who's purchased this many books.’” But, despite his drive to improve and grow, Gary is far from a slave driver. His managerial style is friendly and laid back. He believes in organizational health and the dignity of the individual. Candy knows that well. She remembers the day years ago when she was Gary’s administrative assistant and Gary ended up scheduled to be in two places at once. "And when he came back, I was sure that my head was going to roll,” she

“To me, The Good Life happens when a person is able to bring together a couple of ideas that can appear contradictory: contentment with and gratefulness for what one has, coupled with an ongoing drive to improve and to continue searching for knowledge and understanding." — Gary Wolsky

said. “And I was just so upset about it ... I went in his office, and I couldn't apologize enough, and I was choking up, and I said, ‘I can't even talk about it right now.’” But Gary didn’t let it end there. “He kept talking about, people just make mistakes, it's not going to tip over anything, no one was hurt with this,” Candy said. “I mean he kept on until I started to believe him - that it really was okay. And I've watched him do that throughout the years.” The way Gary handled that situation was no fluke. Candy says Gary is committed to treating people with respect, Gary believes “you have a responsibility to be respectful of folks, and he takes that responsibility very seriously,” said Candy, who started with The Village 28 years ago. Today Candy is a vice president in the organization. "I am (in this position) because Gary saw something in me that I didn't see, which is one of his amazing talents," she said. Within a few years of hiring Candy, Gary began to just sort of nudge her about managing human resources for the growing staff. “And I kept saying, 'Not me.’” But, eventually Candy gave in, becoming coordinator of HR, then director of HR, and, today, she’s vice president of human resources and board relations. "I just didn't think it was something I could do,” she said. “But he saw it.” Retirement is somewhere out there on the horizon for Gary, but he’s not quite ready for that just yet. He feels he still has some work to do, including a fundraising effort that he hopes will leave The Village on a strong and permanent financial footing. Besides that, he’s having fun. “You know, most people hate going to work in the morning. He loves it,” Mike said of his dad. “He's, what - almost 70 years old now - and he's still working and he's still staying sharp. He's still reading like he's going to be the CEO for the next 20 years.” Gary said he “can’t imagine having any more fun” than he’s had at The Village. “Not that I get here and giggle every day,” he said. “But it's a pretty great place to be.” What does “The Good Life” mean to Gary Wolsky?

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Jeremy Donais, Co-Owner of CrossFit Fargo and a CrossFit level two certified trainer, has been doing CrossFit for about three and a half years. Unlike workout regimens that tend to focus on repetitive weight lifting movements or running a certain distance, CrossFit offers constantly varied functional movements at high intensity. 24

Functional movements combined with never doing the same workout every single day and setting a personal intensity level ultimately gives control to the individual rather than a pre-written online plan.

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housands of fitness regimens exist while more seem to flood the pool of options every day. An abundance of choices may make it hard for a person to decide which regimen is the right fit for his or her lifestyle. A popular option around the world and in FargoMoorhead seems to be steadily gaining interest — CrossFit.

“CrossFit is functional movements or anything we do in real life,” Donais said. “Whether it’s picking something up off the ground or putting groceries up on shelves, a lot of the movements we do mimic those every day life things.”

“CrossFit is what’s your intensity level. It’s not what somebody's programmed on a website or what a CrossFit Games athlete is doing,” Donais said. “That’s not your intensity. It’s how you’re perceiving that intensity and what you can do.”

CrossFit Fargo and other CrossFit establishments gear workouts toward different fitness levels, ages and modalities. CrossFit participant’s ages can vary from five to 80 years old. A person’s body doesn’t have to be in perfect condition either in order to be successful.

“People with physical disabilities come in,” Donais said. “Whether it’s their knees, backs, diseases, or neuromuscular disorders, they start moving better. That’s our goal.”

CAMARADERIE BUILDS MUSCLE CrossFit establishments usually offer a certain amount of time frames throughout the day so participants can choose a time that works best for their schedules. As one continues to go to their timeframe and interacts with the same faces a friendship builds around trying to achieve a common goal — bettering ones self. “Through exercise and sweating and in some cases a little bit of blood, sweat and tears, all together it brings that camaraderie together,” Donais said. “It can be between a guy who is a doctor over here and another guy who is a mechanical contractor who works with his hands all day long.” The beauty of camaraderie found in CrossFit is it doesn’t have to be nurtured. Groups of people come together almost every day, which already stand apart from people completing other fitness regimens, to support and push each other to the next level. “No matter the differing socioeconomic statuses or backgrounds they’re right there cheering you on, and you’re right there cheering them on to get them to finish,” Donais said. “It’s real fun to watch.”

"Through exercise and sweating and in some cases a little bit of blood, sweat and tears, all together it brings that camaraderie together." — JEREMY DONAIS

COMPETITIONS OFFER AN OUTLET CrossFit Fargo, CrossFit 701 and CrossFit Icehouse call Fargo home while Elevate Human Potential CrossFit is in Moorhead. With four establishments in Fargo-Moorhead Donais thinks it makes them all a little more competitive while simultaneously achieving growth in the community. “We’re kind of a close knit community and we do do other types of events at the other gyms as well,” he said. “The further we can get the word out the better for everyone in the community.” The CrossFit Games televised on ESPN and other television networks show top CrossFit athletes from around the world competing against one another. The Dakota Games, hosted in June by CrossFit Fargo, brought a local competition to the F-M area. During the Dakota Games a person’s individual skill level determines the division he or she enters. Scoring is based on times and number of reps depending on what type of workout. In the end bragging rights and prizes are awarded to the winners. Being a first of its kind in the Dakotas area brought competitors from as far as Canada to test their CrossFit skills.

"We're kind of a close knit community and we do other types of events at other gyms as well."

CROSSFIT BREEDS CONFIDENCE CrossFit changed Donais’ life dramatically, and he believes every person holds the capability of doing CrossFit. “A lot of people see CrossFit as, oh my gosh I can’t do it, “ he said. “I see that out there as the biggest fear. Anyone can do it. If you move, then you can do CrossFit.” For Donais, CrossFit gave him the confidence every time he completed a workout he doubted himself to complete. After practicing multiple times and successfully completing the task he believes anything he puts his mind to he can accomplish. This mindset carries over to other CrossFitters. Moreover, the lifestyle changes such as eating fresh foods rather than processed foods and eliminating potentially harmful items, such as alcohol, from his diet helps shape Donais’ fitness goals. “You still can live life, but at the same time the way you were living life before wasn’t proving yourself or making yourself better.”

Fathers

get your kids involved in taking care of the family car BY: MATT LACHOWITZER | PHOTO: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

Growing up I enjoyed “helping” my father take care of our family vehicles to keep them on the road. Handing him the “1/2 inch wrench” and asking questions about what he was doing is exactly what sparked my interest into becoming an automotive technician. Several years later and I find myself doing the same thing with my son and it makes me so proud that he wants to “help” dad fix things. Taking the time to teach your children the basics of car care and the importance of what it takes to properly maintain a vehicle will not only allow them to learn the value of taking care of a car and how that affects the safety and reliability of their vehicle, but they will be more informed and better prepared for the day they become a car owner. Some of the basics to start with include: • Checking the tires. One of the biggest causes of vehicle breakdowns is a flat tire. Teaching your children how to check tire pressure and condition along with where the tire inflation sticker is located on vehicle is a good starting point. 28

• Get to know the lights. Checking interior and exterior lights can be a fun task to do together and you can show your child just how many different types of lights your vehicle has. If you have a light that is burnt out, replace it together.

• Wiper blades. Show your children how to check and replace the wiper blades and explain to them what they do. • Wash the car. Kids love to help wash the car. Ask them to look for any dents, scratches, or cracked or broken glass. Explain why keeping the family car clean goes beyond it looking good. • Check the fluids. Show your children how to check the various different fluids your vehicle is equipped with such as: oil, transmission fluid, brake fluid, coolant, power steering fluid, and washer fluid. Explain what each fluid helps with and what they should look like. Explain to them the importance of performing preventative maintenance and have them refill any fluids that are low. • Check the air filter. Explain to your children that this is what helps the engine breathe. If it’s dirty, have your children help replace it. • Get to know basic tools. Having your children help by grabbing you tools while you are working on the family car can help familiarize themselves with some of the basic tools needed to maintain the vehicle. Almost all children love learning how things operate, so why not the family car?

Make-A-Wish® makes a difference

AREA FAMILIES BROUGHT CLOSER TOGETHER THROUGH WISHES

hether kids want to play baseball with the Minnesota Twins, swim like a mermaid, travel across the country or meet a celebrity, the staff and volunteers at Make-A-Wish® North Dakota do their best to make it happen.

Tara Ekren, director of communications, said Make-A-Wish grants the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy, and life-threatening does not always mean terminal.

Wish granting process Wishes generally fall into one of four categories: I wish to be, I wish to go, I wish to have or I wish to meet. In recent years, Billi Jo Zielinski, president and CEO, said the organization has granted wishes involving travel and cruises, meeting celebrities and professional athletes, having a vehicle restored, room or backyard makeovers, shopping sprees, being a bee keeper, receiving a pet and more. “Each wish is unique to the child, and we strive to exceed expectations on each and every wish we grant,” she said. “We celebrate when it comes to wishes because wish kids are so creative and inspired by the chance to have such a magical experience.” Children can be referred to Make-A-Wish by a parent or legal guardian, a family member with detailed knowledge of the child’s current medical condition, the wish children themselves or a healthcare professional. 30

BY: JESSICA BALLOU | PHOTOS: URBAN TOAD MEDIA WISH PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: MAKE-A-WISH

Children must be between the ages of two and a half and 18 at the time of referral; have a diagnosis with a progressive, malignant or degenerative condition that is currently life-threatening; and they must not have received a wish previously from another wish granting organization. Kayla Pederson, director of program services, said the wish process looks like this: 1. The Make-A-Wish North Dakota chapter receives a referral (via phone, email, fax or visit); 2. The child’s doctor determines the child to be medically eligible for a wish; 3. A team of two or three wish granter volunteers are assigned to the child; 4. Wish granters meet with the family and work with the child to discover his or her one true wish; 5. Once a wish is determined, the volunteers notify the chapter staff of the wish; 6. Paperwork regarding the family and the wish is submitted to the chapter office; 7. Program staff seek chapter approval for the wish; 8. Once the child’s doctor determines the wish medically appropriate, staff work to finalize the wish and wish granters work on special enhancements and celebrations along the journey; and then… 9. The child’s heartfelt wish is granted! Wishes must be medically appropriate to the child and his or her current medical situation, but besides that, the sky is pretty much the limit, according to Pederson. “The only limit to wishes is the child’s imagination,” she said. ”Wishes come in all sizes, and wishes we’ve granted in the past range from a laptop computer to a current wish we are working on to go to Paris.” Pederson also said that Make-A-Wish® America provides policies and guidelines for wishes that Make-A-Wish North Dakota cannot grant, such as wishes involving firearms or weapons designed to cause injury, wishes for a direct gift of money and wishes for above ground pools, as well as a few others. “The wish process is a way to honor the difficult journey the child is going through and the courage they have shown to face the journey,” Zielinski said. There may be cases where a certain wish isn’t possible, for example, wishes that involve celebrities. Pederson said in all instances, the organization tries its hardest to grant the first wish, but if unable to, they work with the child to come up with a second wish. 32

History of Make-A-Wish Make-A-Wish began in Arizona in 1980 when 7-year-old leukemia patient Chris Greicius realized his lifelong dream of becoming a police officer, according to Ekren. Many of the volunteers responsible for fulfilling his wish wanted to do the same for other children with life-threatening conditions, so they and Chris’ family created Make-A-Wish America. The North Dakota chapter started five years later when two young insurance agents, Jerry Novacek and Kevin Reitz, attended a conference together in San Francisco. During a panel discussion about community giving and philanthropy, they watched a video called “Stephanie in the Snow,” a short film about a 4-year-old girl from Florida with terminal cancer who wanted to see and play in the snow. Novacek and Reitz were so moved by the story that they decided to do the same for sick children in their home state of North Dakota. Around this same time, Diane Weickert had a similar experience at an AT&T meeting in Phoenix, and when she got back, she put an ad in the local paper to find others interested in bringing Make-A-Wish to North Dakota. The three of them spent hours on the phone and in meetings, asking for donations, organizing fundraisers, applying for nonprofit status and granting wishes. Arlene Nelson soon stepped in to fill the role of treasurer. Make-A-Wish North Dakota is currently celebrating its 30th anniversary with more than 700 wishes granted to children throughout the state.

‘Able to make the world a brighter place’

“Of the kids I’ve had the opportunity to meet in Make-A-Wish, they have shown me an incredible amount of resiliency, strength, determination and joy.” — Kevin Register

Ryan loves Minnesota Twins baseball so when asked what his one true wish would be, it didn’t take any time at all for Ryan to say, “practice with the Twinkies at Spring Training!” Specifically, Ryan wants to meet his favorite player, Justin Morneau. Along with his parents, Ryan flew to Fort Myers, Florida to take in spring training and a couple of games.

There are currently six people working in the Make-AWish North Dakota office, in addition to the hundreds of volunteers across the state who assist in a variety of ways. “I think for all of us who work with Make-A-Wish, the mission is what drives us to be our best each and every day,” Ekren said. “We are able to make the world a brighter place for the kids we serve. A wish transforms the lives of sick children and their families for years to come.” Zielinski said the number of wishes granted each year by the North Dakota chapter has grown almost every year since its inception. Between Sept. 1, 2014, and Aug. 31, 2015, the organization granted about 42 wishes across the state, which is a record for them. “Each year, we estimate 50 North Dakota children are diagnosed with a life-threatening medical condition, and we are dedicated to making every eligible child’s wish come true,” she said.

Ryan was diagnosed with an immune deficiency at age 2 and it means that Ryan’s immune system’s ability to fight infections disease is compromised. His body doesn’t make antibodies to fight off other people’s germs. Because of this, he is particularly vulnerable to opportunistic infections, in addition to normal infections that could affect anyone. His medical condition doesn’t slow him down though. Ryan lives and breathes baseball! Meeting Justin Morneau and the entire Twins team was a dream come true for Ryan. Ryan came home with autographed bats, a ball, and memories to last a lifetime.

Even though the North Dakota office is located in Fargo, there are volunteers, events and wish kids all across the state.

‘Be a part of making their wish come true’ Kevin Register is one of the many wish granter volunteers across the state. Once a wish granter is assigned to a child, 33

he or she will visit with the child and his or her family to discover the child’s wish and find ways to make it happen. “We’ll think of a creative way of presenting the wish child with his or her wish,” he said. “We’ll also think of creative wish enhancements: special little gifts or notices leading up to the day of the wish. We also request in-kind donations along the way to help grant the wish.” Prior to joining Make-A-Wish, Register had been volunteering in pediatrics at Sanford Health. Over the years he had heard many stories of kids who received wishes from Make-A-Wish and how the kids and their families had been so positively impacted by the experience. After researching the organization more and hearing from families who had received wishes, he looked into volunteer opportunities. That’s when he learned about wish granters and thought it would be something he’d enjoy. Register said that he loves seeing the smile and excitement on the kids’ faces when presenting them with their wishes and hearing all about what the wish meant to the entire family after the wish is granted. “Realizing in most instances that, for a short time, the child and the family were able to take a break from dealing with the life-threatening medical condition of the child and simply enjoy the child’s wish,” he said. Since Make-A-Wish grants wishes to children with lifethreatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy, many of the wish kids go on to beat that condition they’re dealing with, but some don’t, Register said. 34

Fourteen-year-old Langley Bradley has always dreamed of becoming an archaeologist, so it seemed fitting that her one true wish was to go to Egypt to learn about the vivid legacy of an ancient culture. While there, a private Egyptologist guided her and her family through some of the world’s greatest monuments and historical treasures: The Great Pyramid, The Sphinx, and The Tomb of King Tut, just to name a few. Langley’s trip to the world’s largest outdoor museum came to a perfect end with a cruise along the Nile River where she could witness its vast history and spectacular sights.

“And of the kids I’ve had the opportunity to meet in Make-A-Wish, they have shown me an incredible amount of resiliency, strength, determination and joy,” he said. “So when I hear that we’ve lost one of those kids, that’s the difficult part. But I’ve also come to appreciate and be grateful for the opportunity to spend time with the wish kids, being one of 151 wish granters across the state who get to be a part of making their wish come true.”

‘Everyone is special’ While he said all of the kids, families and stories stick with him, one really stands out in his mind: when he worked

with Dawn Endres and Brittany Schank on Ryan’s wish. Ryan was nine at the time, and in the initial wish meeting, he mentioned he wished to meet Justin Morneau, one of his favorite baseball players. Ryan played baseball then, and he continues to love it to this day.

“We are able to make the world a brighter place for the kids we serve.” — Tara Ekren

At the time, Morneau played for the Minnesota Twins, so Pederson worked with the Make-A-Wish® Southern Florida chapter to set Ryan up to fly down to Florida, watch the Twins play in a pre-season game and meet Morneau. “Well, not only did he meet him, but he also got to take part in the pregame warm-ups, fielded balls with various Twins players, took on Michael Cuddyer in a foot race (and beat him) and got to sit in the dugout during the game,” Register said. “They took a photo of him sitting in the dugout between Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer talking baseball. He was one happy kid!” Ryan loved meeting all the different players, especially Morneau, who signed two bats and a baseball for him. “Thank you for giving everyone that needs a wish a wish because they are special,” he said in a Make-AWish video. “Everyone is special.”