BY: MEGHAN FEIR
I’m going to tell you a sad story. Get the Kleenex. Once upon a time, I was in a car with three groomsmen and a fellow bridesmaid on our way to — what else — a wedding. The five minutes of pure silence was deafening, so I asked some queries. They gave me short and to-thepoint answers. I stopped trying. One groomsmen in the front then asked the one seated next to me what was wrong. “Bartholomew (not his actual name, unfortunately), what’s up? This is the quietest I’ve seen you all weekend.” Turning to his friend, the sullen, monotone groomsman said, “It’s ‘cause I haven’t had a drink yet.” Laughing commenced as I examined the truth bomb he’d just launched. That statement, while so pathetic, rang with a sad truth. 2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
As America’s No. 1 drunkest city in 2015 and the fifth drunkest city in 2016, as stated by Bustle.com from data collected by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, that may also be Fargo’s No. 1 problem. Twenty-eight percent of Fargoans qualify as heavy drinkers. Unlike the kombucha I make at home that was an acquired taste for me before I became taste buds with my SCOBY, most alcoholic beverages offer little to no health benefits, thus eradicating any real need to acquire a taste for it. Although we’re surrounded by messages of “empowerment,” we’re actually an incredibly weak society. Everywhere you turn, alcohol is the draw for nearly every type of entertainment. Whether it’s at a party or a work event, it’s seen as a required guest “because it’s cold outside,” “because there’s not enough
to do,” “because, duh.” No one will go if it doesn’t arrive on time in its chill, relaxed, life-of-the-party state of being. I will give alcohol this: The only time I semi-like one of my uncles is when he’s drunk — when he’s a druncle — but there’s a sensible answer for what he and you should do if you’re a nicer, funnier, and more tolerable type of person to be around after you’ve been on the bottle. Instead of relying on a beverage to alter your personality, become the person you think you like being, but when you’re sober — fully aware. If the smart-Alec mental response that just went off in your brain is that the person you like being is drunk, stop kidding yourself. That’s problematic. Instead of only dancing at weddings when you’ve gone past the point of being able to remember, dance like a moron in your state of sobriety, and only evacuate the dance floor when “The Cupid Shuffle” starts playing its rancid instructions of turning to the left now, y’all. Three hops this time? Hops aren’t required to have a good time. (You’re welcome.) Instead of waiting to approach that woman you’ve been interested in until you’ve had at least four beers, take a deep breath and go up to her completely coherent and unaltered. If you’re nervous and shaking like a leaf, go for it. We so easily rely on things to ease the pain, numb the nervousness, dull the emotions, and alter about every other emotion we can experience all because we’re uncomfortable with our own feelings and how we deal with whatever comes our way. How is it that someone acting like a sloshed sloth is still so entertaining to people that they think they want to spend multiple nights a week or a month witnessing it? Why is self-induced sickness such a pleasure, so alluring that hangovers must be experienced every weekend? Drunkenness is one of the most accepted vices around, and although this altered state leads many to drunk driving, violent behavior, unwanted pregnancies, all-around stupidity and more, it’s laughed at, celebrated and encouraged by more than just Wisconsin rednecks, party jocks from the gym, and unsatisfied businessmen. I encourage all of you to lead by your actions. Stop before you get sloshed. Show others and yourself that you can be just as funny, just as confident, and just as calm without drinking so-called liquid courage. Although society may tell you otherwise, drinking is more sobering than you think. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3
The
GOOD LIFE MEN’S MAGAZINE
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18 • ON THE COVER POLICE CHIEF DAVID TODD ONLY ONCE CHANCE Fargo Police Chief Determined to Get It RIght The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without permission. The Good Life Men’s Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views or policies of The Good Life Men’s Magazine.
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VOLUME 4 - ISSUE 2
CONTENTS SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER 2016
02
LEARNING TO LOOSEN UP on Your Own
06
LEADER OF THE PACK Nicole Lee is Resident Wolf Keeper
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IS THERE EVEN A COMEDY SCENE IN FARGO-MOORHEAD? The Answer is Yes. And It's Getting Bigger and Better.
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HAVING A BEER WITH... Bob 95 FM's Jay Farley
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FATHERS My First Year of Fatherhood
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CARVING ARTISTS Chainsaws + Hand Carving urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 5
BY: KRISSY NESS â– PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
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Nicole Lee is the resident grey wolf keeper at the Red River Zoo, and has been working there for 16 years. She also works hand in hand with eagles, deer, small mammals and reptiles used for educational purposes. Lee went to NDSU and graduated with a degree in Zoology. “I started out volunteering at this zoo, and have experience with interpretative education type work at other facilities,” stated Lee. Lee was the lead Zoo Keeper in 2008 when the first two wolves were introduced to the zoo at five weeks old. It was a constant 24/7 interaction between the wolves, Lee and the other Zoo Keepers. “I knew wolves were in the eventual plan to get at the zoo, large carnivores and birds of prey have always been my interest,” Lee said. “I went out on my own to take classes and read materials on the wolves.” It was difficult for Lee to be in constant interaction with the wolves when they were puppies and then have zero connection with them after. “As humans we were their caretakers, we weren’t a part of their pack,” affirmed Lee.
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These are wild animals and cannot be looked at by her or any other person as oversized dogs or domesticated animals, just because they are in a zoo. “They are not tame, even with the socialization process.” – Nicole Lee
L: SALLY JACOBSON, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR ■ NICOLE LEE, WOLF KEEPER
Last year four new puppies were introduced to the pack; coincidently they are the nephews to the elder and only female, Ella. Moose, who is the eldest male wolf, was a bit skittish at first but has learned to live with the juvenile wolves. “Wolves are very territorial animals, so we did have to take that into account,” said Lee, “it was a nerve wracking experience, but we were hopeful.” The juvenile puppies really took to Moose, but they can be a bit obnoxious to a senior wolf. Lee expected the mother would be receptive, as she was missing that from her existence.
the fence; there are dig barriers set up to keep the animals where they are.
The six wolves live in an acre and a quarter in size exhibit, and were set up in with wolves in mind. There is a stream leading to a fairly large pond, specific plants and trees were brought in to make the wolves feel as comfortable as possible. There are also elevated platforms so the wolves can see their surroundings, this is very important to wolves. There are many jobs to be performed when you first get to the exhibit. Lee walked me through all the steps she takes when she gets to her job in the morning when she is working with the wolves.
If it is a feeding day they feed them in the holding area, typically during a cooler part of the day so they will finish all their food. “We do not feed them live animals,” stated Lee, “they can catch prey within the exhibit though.” Road kill is often donated to the zoo, mainly in town hits, which is great because those animals won’t go to waste; instead it will go to the cycle of life. Hunters will also donate foul and other game to the zoo. While they are feeding Lee maintains their living environment by making sure the auto water feeders are working and are clean. She will then make sure the windows are cleaned for the exhibit, and mow the grass.
The first thing Lee does when she arrives at the zoo is to check the perimeters of wolf exhibit and looks for gaps in
She will also do enrichment programs for the wolves such as hiding treats around the exhibit so the wolves have to
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That leads her to the holding area, where they do fly spraying and ointment application, the older wolves are accustom to coming up to the fence and receiving antifly ointment on their ears. The younger wolves will get sprayed with fly repellent if they are uncooperative, in fact the whole area is sprayed with fly repellent and the wolves will scent roll in it which is a natural behavior.
hunt them down, or hide food in card board boxes and bags so the wolves have to work to get their treats. Lee also keeps a close eye on the weather, for most storms the wolves can find shelter within the exhibit, but on occasions the wolf keepers will leave the holding area doors open so the animals can seek protection there. The day in a life as a wolf keeper seems pretty amazing, although as Lee stated before these are wild animals and cannot be looked at by her or any other person as oversized dogs or domesticated animals, just because they are in a zoo. “They are not tame, even with the socialization process,” Lee points out. If you find yourself at the Red River Zoo tomorrow or in a year, swing by the wolf exhibit! It is a beautiful display. While you’re at it, thank a Zoo Keeper; there is a lot of hard work that goes into sustaining these animals. •
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BY: PAUL HANKEL ■ PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
You probably weren’t aware of just how up and coming the Fargo-Moorhead area’s comedic scene is. Currently there are dozens of full and part time comedians gracing the stages of Fargo-Moorhead’s various comedy venues and also performing regionally and nationally. Recently Fargo became home to a new, full-time comedy venue called Level 2 Comedy Club, located in the Radisson Hotel, downtown Fargo. To go along with the venues, comedy fans can now see standup or open mic comedy at least four nights per week! The Good Life got to chat with three local up-and-coming comedians about their thoughts on the scene, some advice for novice comedians and their unique individual comedic styles. 10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
JD Provorse JD Provorse was born and raised in Jamestown, North Dakota, and has called Fargo home for the last decade. His first dabble with comedy occurred in 2007, at an open mic night, at Courtney’s Comedy Club in Moorhead. Since then, Provorse has gone on to perform more than 200 shows in 10 different states. Currently he performs locally and regionally and can be seen weekly at any of the venues listed in this article.
Marlin Wells Marlin wells is from a, “little town that no one’s ever heard of,” called Carson, North Dakota. He moved to Fargo in 2003, in order to attend Minnesota State University-Moorhead and has been performing, locally and regionally, for the last two and a half years. Wells grew up loving comedy and remembers his first experience with comedy being a Sinbad Special that appeared on Comedy Central. He also credits famous comedic acts such as George Carlin and Mitch Hedberg as his early influences. According to Wells, he never initially considered comedy as something he could do as a profession. However, influenced by the local scene and friend JD Provorse, Wells eventually began performing. Wells says that he and Provorse have been friends for over a decade and that, in his words, “JD hounded me for years, trying to get me to do standup. After awhile I was like ‘why not?’ and decided to give it a try at a Red Raven open mic, a few years ago. And now, here I am.”
Joe Christianson Joe Christianson is the hometown kid of the bunch. Christianson grew up in Fargo and has been steadily performing for the last three and a half years. He currently performs several times per week at comedy hotspots and has also performed regionally. His advice for fans of local comedy: “Just come out and support. We have a good thing going here!” urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11
The Good Life: Describe your style. JD Provorse: I’m not filthy by any means, but we are going to talk about some dark stuff. I also like to point my finger at things that I think are ridiculous! Marlin Wells: (laughs) Well, I don’t consider myself an artist, I hate that sh**! I’m just a guy who loves comedy. I try to stay natural and conversational – like a very one-sided conversation. I’m pretty mellow. GL: In your own words, describe the comedy scene in Fargo-Moorhead. JDP: Full of new growth. We’ve had several different phases of comedy. Our scene is very fresh, very new, and full of new voices.
MW: I would say that the comedy scene around here is underground, but strong. Right now we have a bunch of local comedians who have the chance to become real pros. The scene here just needs more exposure. GL: If you had to pick, who is your all-time favorite comedian? JDP: George Carlin. MW: George Carlin and Bill Hicks. Joe Christianson: Mitch Hedberg. All three also cited several other favorites, including current favorites – Kyle Kinane, Marc Maron and Hannibal Buress. They also commented on the fact that there are any number of female comedians on the rise. As well as their favorite female comedians, such as Morgan Murphy and Maria Bamford, and local favorite Michelle Pearson. GL: Where would be your dream venue to perform? JDP: Headlining the main stage at the Fargo Theater. I love that place! MW: I generally don’t think that big venues are exactly the right way to see comedy. Large venues are cool, but I feel like comedy should be in a dim room with 200 people. I'm not saying I'd say no to ever doing a
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large venue, but lets just say that I wouldn’t put Madison Square Garden at the top of my list. But as far as historically significant venues – I’d love to play The Comedy Cellar in New York, or The Comedy Store in Los Angeles. GL: What advice do you have for brand new comedians? JDP: Be fearless. Practice preparedness while meeting the situation. Putting in the work isn’t necessarily going to make you a star. But it will put you where you need to be if stardom happens for you. Also, I know that it’s really scary your first time, but DO NOT have a few beers before your first show. It will not go well! But afterwards…drink lots! JC: Just know that, at first, it’s going to feel like a really bad band practice. You’re just learning and aren’t probably going to be very good! To go along with the budding open mic and stand up scene, Fargo also plays host to national comedic acts several times per year. Shake things up this week and try something new. Check out one of FM’s comedy open mic nights! You can also join the Fargo Local Comedy Facebook group. Now, get out there and laugh! •
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BY: MEGHAN FEIR ■ PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
As an on-air radio announcer for Bob 95 FM, Jay Farley brings cheer to listeners throughout the day and has collected his fair share of stories over the years. The homecoming king of ’98 for the Alexandria Cardinals, Farley grew up around small Minnesotan towns and lakes where country music thrives. On a July day so humid and hot there was even a heat advisory floating around, we met up at Drekker Brewing Company in Fargo to chill out for a chat and sip on a glass of beer and some water on tap. Good Life: Jay, do you ever have days where you don’t want to hear any music at all? Jay Farley: Yes, but you can’t get crabby. Being on the radio is one of those jobs where a lot of people look to you to help get them through their day, so even if you are having a bad day, it’s important to not let that show.
GL: What’s the weirdest call-in you’ve ever received? JF: A lady called and was wondering if I could put out there on the radio a request for somebody to come help her tie a mattress to her car. She was moving somewhere, and the mattress kept falling off. Another time I read a story about people eating in their cars. One guy called up and said he always eats soup in the car. I was like, “How are you eating the soup, with a bowl and a spoon, or with a thermos?” He said that he’s done both. I thought that was odd. GL: If Batman sang country, which country music song would he sing? JF: We have to go with something mysterious. Eric Church is kind of mysterious. I would probably go with “Creepin.’” Batman is kind of a creep — a man of the night like that. GL: Do you ever have nightmares about the mascot, Bob? JF: No, thankfully. The only thing that would creep me out
Being on the radio is one of those jobs where a lot of people look to you to help get them through their day, so even if you are having a bad day, it’s important to not let that show. – Jay Farley 14 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
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I don’t like clowns at all. If my kids ever want one at their birthday party, dad is not going to be there. – Jay Farley
is if it were a clown. I don’t like clowns at all. If my kids ever want one at their birthday party, dad is not going to be there. GL: If you were to start a food truck business, what kind of food would you specialize in making and selling? JF: I love steak. It could be a whole bunch of kabobs or steak sammiches or something like that. GL: What would it be called? JF: The Steak ‘n’ Park? The Park ‘n’ Steak? I don’t know. Like T-Bone Town or T-Bone Truck. GL: It’s hard to come up with a business model in two seconds. JF: It is! GL: What about T-Bound? 16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
JF: Come on down to T-Bound! I’ll go with that. That’s good. GL: If you were going to write a popular country song, how would the first lines of the lyrics go? JF: Something about running out of beer. That would just set up the whole “Oh, crap!” kind of feel. GL: Would it be like, “Sittin’ in my Chevy, lookin’ at the road. Man, this gravel’s dusty. Can I get a Ford?” or “I remember the day you left me, lookin’ all pretty an’ sweet. I sat there on my tractor, watchin’ my cold beer can weep.” JF: You should be a country songwriter. That’s really good. We could work with that. I’ll have you on the show and you can sing it. GL: Yesssss. Can I read it in poem form?
JF: Yeah. You can even turn it into a haiku. Whatever you want to do. Music Mondays with Meghan. Wait. Did I not answer the question? GL: Well, I kind of took over because I’m a brat. How would your first couple of lines go? JF: I’d make it a party song. “My buddy showed up an’ we’re fresh out o’ beer. Let’s jump in the truck and get outta here.” We have to rhyme it a little bit. “We got the ladies just a waitin’ down by the crick. Grab your fishin’ pole. Yo, it’s gonna be sick!” A little bro country rap there. If we team up, we could really come up with something cool here. GL: Why does the Cookie Monster never gain weight? No, this isn’t a joke, and I don’t have an answer. JF: ‘Cause cookies are a “sometimes food.” That’s the way he goes now. He spent years and years only eating cookies, but now he teaches kids that cookies are a “sometimes food.” He doesn’t want you to know this, but sometimes he turns into the Veggie Monster. The Cookie Monster is all about moderation now. I know this because I’ve watched many of the episodes. That’s how he stays so slim and trim! GL: I’m glad he has more of a balanced diet these days. JF: He’s lookin’ good. GL: I was worried he was going to get diabetes. JF: Cookie Monster, checking his insulin levels on the next “Sesame Street.” Brought to you by the letter D for diabetes. GL: What does the good life mean to you? JF: To me, it’s family. I love my family. My boys are my everything. They’re adorable, by the way. Just to watch them grow, to hear them learn more every day and call me daddy and have them come running to me when I come home, it melts my heart every time I see my boys. That’s all I need — my boys. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 17
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BY: ALEXANDRA FLOERSCH â– PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
ONLY ONE CHANCE FARGO POLICE CHIEF DETERMINED TO GET IT RIGHT
What started as a simple drawing in grade school became a little boy’s future decades later. As many moms do, David Todd’s mother saved the drawing depicting his future career aspirations. In crayon, he drew a police car and policeman, dressed in blue and equipped with a gold badge and hat. In the distance stood a farm, complete with a green grass and a horse. Filed away in a safe place, only time would tell how accurate that prediction would prove to be. “So here I am,” said Fargo Police Chief David Todd, shrugging his shoulders a bit, not quite wanting to admit his 6-year-old self was right all along. “I live on a farmstead with horses and I’m a police officer. I got lost a couple times along the way, but I still have that picture.” The Journey After high school, Todd pursued premed but soon learned it wasn’t his passion. In search of the next step, family friend Les Sharrock, then the Moorhead Police Chief, encouraged him to do a ride along with his officers. “I did, and then, of course, I was hooked,” Todd said. Having given Concordia College and Northwestern College a run for their money, he quickly transferred to St. Cloud State University, enrolling in the school’s criminal justice program. But it wasn’t long before the Fargo Police Department had their sights on him. “I turned 22 years old and got hired the next month,” Todd said. “I had to drop out of St. Cloud State and I finished at MSUM. I’ve been here ever since.” Looking back 29 years later, Todd has held many positions in the department. While a large part of his career was spent in patrol, his urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 19
favorite position was as a downtown resource officer, where he really got to the know the members of the Fargo community. “You start to build relationships with them, get to know them and you care about (people),” he said of the homeless he especially grew to care for. But the downtown beat was only a temporary stint for Todd. After 13 years with the department, he was promoted to sergeant and, from there, worked his way up to lieutenant, captain and deputy chief. It was just a year and a half ago that the Fargo Police Department was under turmoil. To resolve issues, an independent review board was asked to examine the department, which resulted in a change in leadership. Almost immediately, Todd was asked to stepped in as interim chief and eventually accepted the official position of Fargo Police Chief in October 2015. “It has been a rocket ride ever since,” he said.
“If something controversial happens in your community, you have to be willing to get out in front of it and tell the community exactly what happened... before Facebook court is in session.” 20 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
Learning to Lead As chief, Todd oversees 163 sworn officers, 22 nonsworn personnel and two contracted employees for a grand total of 187 people. When he speaks of his team, you hear how much those men and women mean to him. In fact, a sign in his office reflects his motto: Mission first, officers always. “It’s always going to be our responsibility (as law enforcement) to accomplish the mission for the community,” he said. “But along the way it’s a leader’s responsibility to look out for their people and find ways to be there for them.” The position of chief is less about the individual and more about the team. Deciding what’s best for the department in the long run requires selflessness. “When you think you’ve reached the limit of what you want to accomplish for the department, it’s not about you... it’s what’s best for the organization,” he said, confident he’ll know when it’s his time to step down. It’s not an easy job. Todd often works 10 to 12-hour days, taking work home with him on nights and attending one or two scheduled events during the weekends. “This summer I’ve tried to back off on that a little bit for the sake of my wife,” he said. “She’s very understanding. She knew when I agreed to do this what it was going to entail. You just have to live, eat and breathe it. In the Spotlight The average police chief in the United States lasts three to five years in the position. “It takes you about two weeks in this job to figure out ‘Okay, there’s a life span to this,’” Todd said. “That’s because it’s a pretty stressful spot, it’s very political. You’re in the media spotlight all the time.” Engaging and staying in front of the media is one of the hardest parts of the job. “As Chief of Police, if something controversial happens in your community, you have to be willing to get out in front of it and tell the community exactly what happened before the rumors start and before Facebook court is in session.” Transparency between law enforcement and the community is critical to maintaining trust. “I get out there as quickly as I can and tell the story — talk to all the news media outlets and give them all those interviews to put out that fire,” Todd said. “When I say it’s hard for me to do that, it’s not hard, but it’s consuming and takes a lot of my time I could use elsewhere. But that’s the nature of today’s society. We try to find ways to be as transparent as we can.” Other times, the job is about admitting fault and hoping the community has enough trust in law enforcement that they forgive the actions. “If I’m urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 21
willing to get out there on the good stuff we did and defend it, I better be willing to get out on the mistakes we made and say, ‘Yeah, we screwed up,’... and apologize for it.”
support. “There are times when, as a leader, you have to put your arms around people, hold them up and help them through those situations,” he said. “Mostly it’s just letting people know that you care and you’re going to try and find the path forward for them.”
Law Enforcement in 2016 In 2016, putting on boots, a badge and a bullet proof vest takes courage. Fargo’s officer Jason Moszer proved that.
To this day, Chief Todd and many others wear a remembrance bracelet in honor of officer Moszer. “As a chief, it kind of reminds me of what the sacrifice is sometimes — what it takes to have a safe community,” he said. “In this case, it was the sacrifice of one of my officers who was a husband, a father, a son and a brother. I also use it to remind me what my responsibility is as a leader: to be there for my people.”
“When we went through Jeff Skuza’s death, I didn’t think I could do that again,” said the Fargo Police Chief of a fellow officer’s suicide. “But this one was different. It was a line of duty death.” The days, weeks and months following Moszer's death impacted not only the community, but the nation — marking yet another fallen policeman. Chief Todd has been applauded by many for the strength and courage with which he handled Moszer’s death. But for him, it wasn’t about staying strong. “As a leader, I think it’s okay for people to see your emotions because it shows them that you care,” he said. “They’re having those same emotions and they want to know it's okay to have those.” It’s not about having all the right answers — sometimes it means just showing your
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Todd believes people are passionate about law enforcement and are called to it. “They love what they do for a living and they love serving their community,” he said. “At the same time, they’re very courageous. When there’s something critical happening — instead of running away from the danger, they’re running towards danger.” Lately, there’s been a tendency by some to paint police as an occupying force. In some communities that may be the case and they may have earned the reputation, but in Fargo it’s different, Todd explained. “In communities like ours, we live here,” he said. “We’re invested in our schools, in our sports teams and our kids’ activities. We’re the parents sitting right next to you in the bleachers at that junior high orchestra concert.” They're as much a part of our community as the citizens they're sworn to protect. Looking Forward Outside of work, Todd and his wife are empty nesters. His oldest son, David, serves in the Marine Corps Reserve — having just done a short tour in Morocco — and is currently following his father’s footsteps, attending NDSU for criminal justice and in the police academy. Meanwhile, his youngest son, Jake, is pursuing physical therapy at UND with hopes to get into the doctorate program. Eleven-year-old Gunner, their black lab, is also part of the family. “He’s my best friend,” Todd said. For fun, the Todd family rides horses and camps. “I’ve got a Harley-Davidson that my wife and I like to take occasional trips on,” he said. “That’s kind of my stress reliever.”
PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: DAVID TODD
And just this year, the Todds are exploring the lakes area, having recently purchased a cabin. “We’re figuring out lake life, so that might be a transition out of the farmstead at some point,” he said. As for what comes next, Todd doesn’t know. “In many respects I’m fortunate that this is the last part of my career,” he said. “Knowing that, I’m just going to sprint and get as much done as I can.” Eventually, the Fargo native will retire as police chief and explore what else life has to offer. Until then, he’ll be living the good life. •
“The good life, to me, is giving all you got, because in a position like this, you only have one chance to do it right,” he said. “You want to give it all you’ve got and do it right so that someday you can walk away with no regrets.” – Fargo Police Chief, David Todd urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 23
My First Year of Fatherhood
Lessons Learned, Sleep Lost & Lives Saved BY: BEN HANSON ■ PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
At about 7 p.m. on July 29 — after thirteen hours of refilling ice waters, holding vomit bags at the ready and fighting my natural instinct to joke about all the probing going on — I became a father for the first time. In no way does it feel like it’s been that long, but I guess time flies when you’re barely awake to notice it. Soon, we’ll be hosting friends and family to celebrate Macklin’s first birthday, but somewhere mid-party planning, I realized we’re also marking my one-year #Dadiversary — the perfect time to reflect on the few things I’ve learned
during this first year of fatherhood. Not exactly lessons, so don’t worry about taking notes. Nothing profound, either. Just a few observations about what parenting has brought to my life.
Fat Camp for Your Ego I admit, I think I’m the greatest. At least I used to. As I tweeted out about a month ago, I have since realized that my son is, in fact, the greatest. Why? Well, he’s a baby, and babies come into this world with a measurable GAF level of absolute zero, automatically making them the coolest person in the room. I’m in constant awe of Mack’s ability to literally care nothing at all about the way he looks, smells or sounds. Got company over? Let me show you how I can fart on your boss’s lap! Posing for family portraits? Watch how I can smile through a face full of spit-up! He’ll stare you square in the eye, while unashamedly grunting his way to a full diaper... and you can’t help but happily cheer him on (more on the cheering later). How liberating must it feel to wake up and never look in the mirror or give your pants even a cursory sniff before slipping them on? Macklin doesn’t care. He’s a baby James Dean. His inborn chill level keeps my ego in check, especially when he points his cute little finger at me and smirks while I wipe his butt.
Everything's a Huge Deal When was the last time you flailed your arms and giggled like an idiot when a dog looked in your general direction? Do you often lose control of your vocal cords when eating pancakes? Do you get so excited about the speed at which you make your way down the hallway that you require a change of pants? Of course not. For babies, however, everything is a huge deal because everything is new. All of it. And because their memory and attention spans are adorably undeveloped, everything continues to be new. You’d think we parents, being the adults that we are, would be immune to such misplaced excitement, but we’re not. We become live-in cheerleaders for our kids, celebrating each tiny milestone like they’re splitting the atom. Last night I applauded my son for peeing in the tub simply because he did it standing up. (I think he may be a genius.) 24 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
My God, the Emotions I cried a little during this year’s Espy Awards. That’s right, a sports awards show made me cry. As the Aurther Ashe courage award was presented to the mother of a 15-year-old who took a bullet to save the lives of his two friends, the whole theater of all-star athletes broke down in tears. So, it wasn’t just me. At a concert a few weeks back, however, it may have just been me. A quiet song, sung solo by Brandi Carlile about her wife and their new baby girl made an already still summer night motionless. Emotionally motionless. A year ago, I doubt my emotions would’ve been so raw, but on that night my heart was pierced — effortlessly — by a simple love song. Being a parent makes these stories, songs and experiences of other parents more personal. Before Macklin, I understood their emotions on an intellectual level… now I feel them.
The Worst Roommate Yes, babies are adorable. They’re also loud, smelly and completely incapable of telling time or recognizing imminent danger. It’s easy to forget that we humans come into this world entirely unsocialized and without regard. Any regard. For anything. Not even their own lives, which I’m constantly saving. Most of us have lived through a bad roommate experience at least once… but it was over in the blink of a lease agreement. And in worst case scenarios, you had legal recourse. I don’t think I can take my son to small claims court to recoup wasted food costs or sue him for excessive midnight shrieking. Over the last year, I’ve learned that having a baby means choosing to live with the moochiest of moocher roommates. The upside is worth it, however. A gentler heart, a more patient disposition and a little less selfabsorption. I’m still the funniest person I know, don’t get me wrong… but I’m rooting for my son to take that burden off my shoulders as soon as possible. • Ben Hanson is a full-time father, part-time writer (for hire). Follow him and his son along all their #dadventures at www.MrFullTimeDad.com.
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BY: KRISSY NESS ■ PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
A
ward winning wood carver David Sharp taught a class hosted by local décor and furniture carver, Dean Tvedt, July 31st, in North Harwood at Tvedt’s studio -- Carving Cowboys.
Sharp hails from Tennessee and is a veteran when it comes to carving wood. He took first and second place at the Affiliated Wood Carvers Ltd. in Iowa last year and his work is nothing short of breathtaking. “The other carvers and I call this event Congress,” Sharp joked. He has been carving wood by hand and with chainsaws for 10 years and all of his work is realistic and made with natural wood. Some of the projects he has made include, but are not limited to: realistic, caricature, animals, relief, bust, and fireplace mantels. He enjoys teaching classes and commissioning projects for others. Tvedt has been carving wood for 15 years as a hobby and recently retired from the Air National Guard in Fargo. Since then he has dedicated his time to teaching classes and constructing beautiful works of art and furniture from reclaimed wood, “A hobby that pays a little — to buy more toys,” said Tvedt. He always uses standing lifeless timber, “98 percent of the wood I use is a dead tree already.” Tvedt also teaches classes on antler carving and I was lucky enough to get a look at some of his projects — they are amazing. The detail and patience that go into these endeavors is incredible. “Carving had taught me more patience,” admitted Tvedt. “Mary, my wife is my best critic.” She offers a feminine touch to some of his projects, and is a great support system when it comes to his hobbies. It is great to see two people working toward a common goal, even if it is primarily his hobby. You can find his work at The Red Silo in downtown Fargo and at Eclectic Charm in Bismarck. For most of his projects Tvedt uses a dremel or carves them by hand. “As I get older I do less and less chainsaw carving, it is hard on the body,” confesses Tvedt. His smaller projects can be carved in one-day and they boast striking texture and great detail. For larger projects they can take up to three days. These will be the size of projects that will be used for the class. 26 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
In this class the students, who ranged in age from 40-80, chose from a Mountain Man design or a Native American. They started with a 12x12 slab of red cedar wood that Sharp brought all the way from Tennessee. From there they shaped the project using a chainsaw, then when the projects takes its form they used dremels and carved texture and design by hand. None of these projects were painted; instead they had a natural wood finish and a light oil coat to preserve the project. Sharp and Tvedt had never met before this class, in fact Tvedt called Sharp up after finding out that he would be in Minneapolis teaching another carving class and asked him to teach this class. Both men have taught many classes between the two of
them, “Everyone always says they have no artistic ability, but everyone has the possibility to learn,” stated Tvedt. Sharp has a similar yet different outlook on teaching, “I find if the students want to do it, it [the project] will come out better.” There are four main types of woodcarving: Whittling, which is done by using a carving knife. When the carving is complete you can see the knife strokes rather than a smooth or sanded surface. Carving-inthe-round, just using a knife cannot produce these carvings, power tools or chisels are needed to give it a more life-like finish. Relief carving, have a flat back and are carved in three dimensions, most are done
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with hand tools but power tools can be used as well. Finally, there is Chip carving, which is used to remove selected pieces of wood from the project with a knife. Tvedt is also a part of a wood carving club in Moorhead, “In The Chips,” where locals get together to work on and discuss projects; they also have a good time poking fun at one another, “Not a lot of people know these types of groups are in Fargo/Moorhead.” stated Tvedt. It is good to get this information out to the public so maybe they can expand their knowledge of the different kinds of arts in the community and meet new people. If you would like to view any of Sharps work, head on over to his website, www.davidsharpwoodcarving.com and delve into the beauty that is woodcarving. The good life is “enjoying friends, family, the arts, and a sense of fulfillment.” Great final words from a local artist, Dean Tvedt. • L: DAVID SHARP, R: DEAN TVEDT
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Non-Profit Aids Individuals With Disabilities Through Service Dogs BY: JESSICA BALLOU ■ PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Great Plains Assistance Dogs foundation dba Service Dogs for America (SDA) is a small, North Dakota-based non-profit that helps train and certify service dogs for individuals with disabilities. Located in Jud, N.D., the organization helps place service dogs across the country. “The staff at SDA invest their hearts and souls into ensuring each dog is the best possible ‘life partner’ it can be for our clients,” said, Jenny BrodKorb, executive director since January 2015. SDA trained its first service dog in 1989 and placed it with their first client in 1990. Two years later, SDA became a designated 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization. It is also an accredited service dog school member of Assistance Dogs International (ADI). SDA received its initial accreditation in 2010, and it is currently the only accredited service dog organization in North Dakota. BrodKorb said they dual and triple train their dogs in multiple skill sets to better accommodate clients’ needs.
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It’s an amazing process to witness
TYPES OF DOGS TRAINED AND PLACED BY THE SDA MOBILITY ASSISTANCE DOG o Assists with, but not limited to, the following types of diseases or injuries: amputation, arthritis, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, paraplegia, spina bifida, stroke and more. o Task training: retrieve dropped object, open interior/exterior doors, help a person stand and brace, turn lights on or off, get help by alerting another person in the environment and more. SEIZURE RESPONSE EMERGENCY MEDICAL RESPONSE DOG (EMRD) o Assists with, but not limited to, the following types of seizures: absence, atonic, partial simple or complex, gelastic and more. Also assists with pseudo, psychogenic and cryptogenic nonepileptic seizures. o Task training: lie close to the client, retrieve an object, activate an emergency button, electronic alert system or pull cord, carry medication and more. DIABETIC RESPONSE EMERGENCY MEDICAL RESPONSE DOG (EMRD) o Assists with, but not limited to, the following diagnoses: Type I/brittle diabetes and hypoglycemia. SDA does not train dogs to assist an individual with Type II diabetes. o Task training: remind to test blood sugar at the sound of an alarm, get help by alerting another person in the environment, activate an electronic alert system lie close to the client and more. PTSD SERVICE DOGS (MILITARY AND NON-MILITARY PLACEMENT) o Tasks: alleviate anxiety and distress by lying on top of the person for deep pressure and psychoemotional grounding, help a person find an exit when anxious, turn lights on or off and more. 32 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
BrodKorb said knowing the dogs in their facility change the lives of humans is priceless. “It’s amazing to think that freedom and independence are reinstated with the passing of a leash,” she said. “We see people who are struggling to maintain a healthy existence (due to their disability/ies) flourish when they are selected by their new ‘life partner’ [service dog].” Every day can be a new challenge with its own rewards, so while it’s difficult to pick a favorite part of being involved in such a unique organization, one aspect stands out to BrodKorb. “Knowing the organization is changing lives by reestablishing independence — one leash at a time — is the best part,” she added. The organization lets the service dog choose its human before officially pairing up. Once someone is approved to receive a service dog, the client is brought to campus for dog introductions and team training. “This introduction process goes on until a dog, definitively, selects their human,” she said. “It’s an amazing process to witness.”
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“Knowing the organization is changing lives by reestablishing independence — one leash at a time — is the best part."
“It’s amazing to think that freedom and independence are reinstated with the passing of a leash."
The service dogs come from a variety of places. If the dog’s temperament and health meet SDA’s standards, they accept surrenders, work with rescues and shelters, and occasionally receive dogs from breeders. SDA also has its own breeding program on campus. “The bottom line is if the dog wants the job of being a service dog (and it’s a tough job!) and their health and temperament match our strict standards and best practices, we will consider a dog from nearly any source,” she said. SDA also works with two prisons in North Dakota, Missouri River Correctional Center in Bismarck and James River Correctional Center in Jamestown. SDA’s service dog trainer teachers inmates how to train specific behaviors and tasks to service dogs in training for the 34 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
Inmate Canine Assistance Program (ICAP). “The program benefits everyone: the dogs, clients of SDA, correctional facilities and staff, and the inmates,” she said. “Inmates learn a valuable skill and are able to help persons with disabilities in the process.” History of SDA The Great Plains Assistance Dogs Foundation/Service Dogs for America (GPADF/SDA) training program started in 1989. Ed Duden, Steven Powers and Michael Goehring came together with a vision to begin training service dogs. Goehring trained his personal dog as an assistance dog for the Deanne Brothers in Fargo. The first service dog team, Deanne and Zak, graduated in May 1990.
The story ran in Parade Magazine nationwide and showcased the need for specially trained service dogs. Due to all of the press coverage, inquiries and demand for services increased, she said. It became clear that dedicated facilities for training and placement were needed. The first facility was a 4,000-square-foot training/ kennel building. Groundbreaking began in the early spring of 1991, and the project was completed by that October. After that, GPADF/SPA bought a used mobile home for staff. The first client apartment was finished a month later, a few days before the first out-of-state client arrived for three-week team training. A second client apartment was finished in 1993, which made it possible for multiple team training sessions to occur at one time. By 1994 GPADF/SDA needed more housing for the staff to accommodate for the increase in demand and more kennel space for dogs in training. A second campaign and an apprenticeship program launched later that year, and the funding was in place by early 1996 for the Lion’s Wing expansion. Two years later, the construction on this 3,200-square-foot addition was completed. A 4,000-square-foot exercise yard was built in 1998. SDA is always looking for volunteers and also foster families who are willing to have a service dog in training live with them for exposure to everyday life situations not present on campus. The organization is supported by the help of donors, not federal or state funding. If anyone is interested in hosting, facilitating or participating in a fundraising event for SDA, email development@ servicedogsforamerica.org. For more information on volunteering, fostering, donations, applying to get a service dog and more, visit www.servicedogsforamerica.org. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 35