FATHERS | MR. FULL-TIME DAD
Five Stages of Toddler Sleep WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON
It’s 8:02 p.m. Macklin’s mama and I exchange knowing looks, reluctantly nod our heads and announce to our audience of one that it’s time for bed. Our nightly dance is about to begin, and we wonder, as we start the chase, what new moves may be introduced into the well-worn routine. Some nights, with naive optimism, I think back to the days when Mack was an infant and wanted nothing more than a quick night time bottle before being left alone to fall quickly asleep in his crib. There wasn’t much cuddling or soothing required in those early days. If you wanted to sneak a snuggle, you had to risk waking him up by taking him out of his crib mid-slumber. It was well worth it — and still is to steal those precious moments of silent bonding — but lately, we’ve been getting our fill during the hour-plus emotional extravaganza that is toddler bedtime. My wife, Emily, is a highly experienced and sought after child and adolescent therapist. A real pro, in other words. I do my best to follow her lead and pick up on the lessons she teaches through her interactions with Mack. Her patience rarely expires, but some nights the challenge of getting Mack into bed (and keeping him there) can push even her to the limit. In the middle of one recent bout with an especially tired boy, she walked out of Mack’s room and announced, “This is like grief therapy … hoping we hit acceptance here soon.” 2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
it past
Three seconds later, the sounds of three-year-old fists banging down doors made clear we hadn’t yet made stage two.
Emily nailed it. Like I said, she’s a pro. Mack’s bedtime has evolved into what we now call the five stages of toddler sleep grief. Our goal is to navigate our way through as quickly and as quietly as possible.
Denial
It’s now 8:02 p.m. … and ten seconds. The proclamation of bedtime has been made, and Mack — right on cue — issues his retort: “No it’s not.” He’s in full-on denial, often going even further. “I want to wind up!’ he shouts before turning his back to make his escape. Next to acceptance, denial is the easiest stage to get past … I simply catch him, throw him over my shoulder and march him up to his room.
Anger
8:05 p.m. Time for some old fashioned kicking and screaming. It’s best to just keep your distance for a few minutes and let the little guy wear himself down on his own. It’s not a fool-proof strategy, but it’s better than catching an errant kick to the shorts. At some point, we do have to jump in and pry him out of his clothes before steering him into the bathroom to pee and brush teeth … and yes, cry-brushing is a common occurrence,
but we gotta get those sugar bugs out! Anger is the least enjoyable stage for obvious reasons. Our secret weapon is Mack’s low tickle threshold. He loves it, and uncontrollable giggles always help the transition into stage three … my favorite of the five.
Bargaining
8:20 p.m. A slightly more tired Macklin turns on his charm and proceeds with his attempt to disarm us with an onslaught of surprisingly witty compromises he hopes will score him a few more minutes of playtime. The most common bargains are “just one more story, please Daddy?” or “how about some nighttime music, is that a good idea?” or “will you send Mama in?” Lately, he’s been very concerned about our new robot vacuum and requests to double-check that it’s safely “at its home” before he can really feel settled.
Depression
8:50 p.m. After a good 20-30 minutes of stories, more bargaining and more tickling, Macklin resigns to the fact that there is no escaping the inevitable. He’s not getting out of his room until morning, and the revelation crushes him. Regardless of who does the reading and the initial tuck-in, the other parent is consistently called in to replace the starter mid-way through stage four … and the back-up always gets the best snuggles. A sad toddler is sad but oh so loveable. Plus, the second parent gets the win … ushering Mack calmly into stage five.
Acceptance
9:05 p.m. After fifteen minutes or so of soothing Mack out of his nightly depression, he rolls over, turning his back to me and says, “Goodnight, Daddy, you can go now.” Stage five comes and goes in an instant, and it’s as comforting to me as it is to him. Once stage five hits, we rarely hear another sound coming from his room, aside from perhaps one last visit to the bathroom. Do I miss infant Mack and his astonishingly easy tuckins? Absolutely. Do I wish Emily and I would have more time to ourselves before we crash exhaustedly into our own bed? Yep. Would I give up his brilliant bargaining and adorable acceptance stages to avoid the other three? Nope. Some day, not too far out, I’m sure I’ll miss our nightly sleep grief therapy sessions every bit as much as I miss the other struggles that seemed so endless … until they were over. •
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VOLUME 7 • ISSUE 2
CONTENTS
SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER 2019
2
FATHERS - MR. FULL-TIME DAD FIVE STAGES OF TODDLER SLEEP
6
FLY LIKE AN EAGLE AERIAL SPRAYER ERIC KLINDT REACHES NEW HEIGHTS
18
ON THE COVER - FIX IT FORWARD THE MECHANICS OF FAITH FIX IT FORWARD'S IMPACT ON THE COMMUNITY
24
LOCAL BAND - THE HUMAN ELEMENT BETTER TOGETHER
10
RUSTICA - SIMPLICITY AT ITS FINEST BACK IN BUSINESS: RUSTICA'S OWNERS CARRY ON TRADITION
28
14
ASK 30 WOMEN WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WISH ALL MEN WOULD KNOW?
HAVING A BEER WITH - JEFF CULHANE "VOICE OF THE BISON" AND PROGRAM DIRECTOR FOR BISON 1660
30
LOCAL HERO - MIKE GRUCHALLA FROM THE MIDWEST TO VIETNAM AND BACK, MIKE GRUCHALLA'S FOCUS HAS ALWAYS BEEN DOING HIS JOB WELL AND FIERCELY SERVING OTHERS
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FLY
LIKE AN EAGLE Aerial Sprayer Eric Klindt Reaches New Heights
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Of all the dangers that are in a job, with all the training you do, it just becomes normal work that I don’t really think of as dangerous anymore.”
WRITTEN BY: JESSICA KUEHN PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Even though many people head to the lakes in the summertime, you’ll often find Eric Klindt flying in the sky. As an ag pilot with Wilbur-Ellis Agribusiness in Wahpeton, N.D., Klindt is putting his more than 20 years of experience in aerial spraying to good use. The late David Yaggie from Breckenridge, Minn., first got Klindt involved with aerial spraying. Klindt had always wanted to farm, so he helped Yaggie and his son both in a tractor on their farm and in a plane with aerial spraying. Later, he attended The University of Minnesota Crookston, where he received his commercial pilot’s license and aerial applicator training. Even though he really enjoys flying itself and how every day is different, there’s something else he loves more than anything. “The best part is that you get paid to do a job that you love to do,” he said.
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Eric also uses his plane to assist in putting out fires in the community.
Aerial spraying can be dangerous work, especially when it comes to the first initial pass with a heavy load or when you’re taking off a shorter strip with a full load, but Klindt said he doesn’t worry about any of that anymore.
includes being honored for the work he’s done in the industry from the National Agricultural Aviation Association (NAAA). Another memorable, albeit sadder, moment includes doing flyovers at burials after losing a pilot.
“Of all the dangers that are in a job, with all the training you do, it just becomes normal work that I don’t really think of as dangerous anymore,” he said.
“Those are quite memorable,” he said. “I mean, that’s something you’ll never forget for the rest of your life. There’s probably a lot more I could go into, but it’s just the fact that you can do this for a job and basically have the winters off, even though I find a lot of stuff to do, that’s rewarding work.”
The biggest thing he wants people to know about aerial spraying is how much the sprayers care for the ground, the farmer’s crops and the environment. “Some can say that we’re not very good to the environment by spraying pesticides, but it’s those pesticides that help the environment in controlling weeds and bugs that can overtake your field,” he said. One of the most memorable experiences in his career so far
According to his bio on Wilbur-Ellis’ website, his motto is “go big or go home,” which is a message he said he can’t help but live by, especially when flying around in his Air Tractor AT802. “I guess there’s nothing I do that’s little,” he said. “Now in this industry, it just so happens that I’m flying the biggest ag plane there is to spray with
in the world, basically, so I can get a lot done with it, which ultimately helps the customers and the farmers that I’m working for.” With bigger equipment and planes, more work is being accomplished more quickly than it used to be, making the process much more efficient over time. “If you go back 20 or 30 years, there were almost twice as many airplanes that did our work, but yet the number of acres that were covered are about the same, so we cut the planes in half but we’re still doing the same amount of work,” he said. Klindt knows that some people aren’t fans of the aerial spraying industry, but he said most of their unhappiness could be solved with more knowledge about what they really do. “Usually the people who don’t like what we do are just quite ignorant on what we do,” he said. “I always say that people claim this stuff is so
Whether it’s cleaning out your toilet or cleaning the countertops, those chemicals are way more toxic than the stuff that we put in our planes.”
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horrible. The stuff under your kitchen sink is way more toxic than most of the stuff we put out of our airplane, but you don’t think twice about that. Whether it’s cleaning out your toilet or cleaning the countertops, those chemicals are way more toxic than the stuff that we put in our planes.” He said that they do use toxic chemicals at times, but that isn’t all that they do, so he wants to help educate more people about it. Another aspect that’s important for people to know about the industry is the importance of family support due to the long hours that can often vary due to weather. “If [the family] doesn’t understand the roles and the sacrifices that they have to give in the summer when they’re aerial spraying, that makes it very difficult,” he said. For example, Klindt was in Iowa during this phone interview, and then he was going to head to Illinois next. He said that wouldn’t be possible without an understanding family since he has to be gone often in the summertime and work long hours, which causes him to miss family outings and other events. “If you don’t have a supportive family, it makes it difficult, and I’m fortunate that I have a wife and kids that understand that,” he said. When asked what the good life means to him, he responded: “To me, the good life is to be able to live in a faith community, have a decent job, be able to do the things you want to do and spend time with your family.” •
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RUSTICA Simplicity at Its Finest
Back to Business: Rustica’s New Owners Carry on Tradition WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Rustica Eatery & Tavern, one of Moorhead’s favorite restaurants, closed its doors earlier this summer for two weeks. Panic ensued in the hearts of their patrons. Once they were informed it would be under new management, a second round of panic took place. This time, it was concern over potential menu changes. Would people still be able to get their “burrata fix”? Would the fried chicken and pizzas still be available? Would those items taste just as good, if they were? Would people’s taste buds ever dance again? These and other questions bounced in the minds of many, but thankfully for these loyal customers, the new management team happened to be equally loyal employees of Eric and Sara Watson, the previous owners. Executive chef Micah Leitel has worked at the restaurant and tavern nearly four years, and Anna Weisenburger took on her role as front house manager in March. A month after Weisenburger started, the Watsons approached the two employees, encouraging them to take over the business. It didn’t take much convincing. Both Leitel and Weisenburger knew they each wanted their own restaurant someday. “Someday” just came a lot sooner than they had imagined. While it’s inevitable the two will gradually make their mark on the place, they want to keep Rustica customers happy and satisfied by keeping staples on the menu and the restaurant vibes the same. The homey environment, comforting food and occasional twists regulars have grown to love will continue being a fixture of Rustica. Read on to learn more about the new owners and their unique approach toward working in the hospitality industry.
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Good Life: Are there any drastic changes you two have in the works for this place? Micah Leitel: Our main goal is consistency. We want to provide the same experience to the guests they’ve come to expect. For now, we already have an existing clientele that love the place, so why mess with that? Give them what they want in the way they want it. Will it be exactly the same this time next year? I highly doubt it. It will always evolve. Anna Weisenburger: We didn’t want to rip the rug out from anybody.
There are some things that just won’t change because they’re not broken, but we definitely will slowly put our mark on things. GL: What’s something unique about how Rustica functions? ML: Our kitchen team is pretty awesome. They’re very dedicated and disciplined, and that’s kind of rare. Usually, kitchens are very chaotic places, but ours is serene. Even on a wild Saturday night, nobody’s fighting with each other. I can’t recall the last argument that was in the kitchen. That’s something special. AW: There’s not a lot of drama. Everybody jives together really well. Another unique thing about our operation is that we don’t have a specific dishwasher. Everybody washes dishes back there. If someone isn’t as busy, they go wash dishes. It is complete teamwork all across the board. Nobody is too good for anything.
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We didn’t want to rip the rug out from anybody. There are some things that just won’t change because they’re not broken, but we definitely will slowly put our mark on things.” — Anna Weisenburger urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11
GL: Did circumstances or a driving passion lead you two to where you are now? ML: I never set out to be a chef, but I’ve worked toward where I’ve gotten. You experience things and look for new challenges, and I found a lot of those here. If you can survive everything, you move on to the next station or role. I’ve always found that to be exciting. Then you just keep moving and, eventually, we got to buy the place. That’s pretty cool.
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AW: I think for people who take this seriously and make it their career path, the goal is to eventually own something. It’s often in the far-off distance, and a lot of us never get to do it, but once you reach a management role, what else is there, besides having your own place? GL: What makes Rustica so special in town? AW: I think what makes it unique is that it’s so sought after. It’s the best of the best. It’s comfort food that’s done really well and we offer really great service. ML: Simplicity takes a certain amount of confidence because you don’t have much to hide behind. The technique is very apparent right away. That’s the way I go at it. AW: I think the space we’re in also contributes to how unique we are, as well. This is the oldest bar in town. Guests can walk in and choose if they want to be in the tavern or the dining room. You get to pick your experience. ML: We occupy that odd middle ground between fastcasual and fine dining, so guests can really choose their own adventure when they walk in the door. GL: What does living “the good life” mean to you? ML: I’d say it’s being satisfied with what you do. Whatever it is you’re interested in, if you can turn that into a career, why not? You don’t need to be rich, just enjoy what you do. If you’re going to spend 13 hours a
day doing something, you should at least like it and be able to look back on what you did that day with a measure of pride. AW: In the same sense, I feel pretty good about watching the hard work you’ve put into something make a difference, like turning a negative situation into a good one with a guest and just seeing results. We come in here every day and work really hard. If our guests are happy with what they get from us, that’s a day that’s been done well. ML: I think owning this place would be a very poor idea if we didn’t absolutely love what we do. I love Rustica. I have so many good memories, and we’re making more. •
“
Simplicity takes a certain amount of confidence because you don’t have much to hide behind. The technique is very apparent right away. That’s the way I go at it.” — Micah Leitel
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HAVING A BEER WITH | JEFF CULHANE
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I think I’ve learned that time and place are very important when you have an opinion. To a certain extent, you may be right about something, but it might not be the right time to share it.”
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HAVING A BEER WITH
JEFF CULHANE "Voice of the Bison" and Program Director for Bison 1660 WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR
Jeff Culhane’s family has a history — of being in broadcasting, I mean. His dad and uncle used their voices as announcers for sporting events on and off the radio. That drew Culhane in. While his friends would be playing video games, he would be announcing play-by-plays for them as a kid. By the time he was 14, Culhane was already working parttime at a radio station. After a few years in South Dakota, six years at Husker Sports Network in Lincoln, Neb., and a stint in Morgantown, W. Va.,
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
he landed his current role as the official “Voice of the Bison” for NDSU and the program director for Bison 1660, positions he’s held for three years. At Bison 1660, Culhane has daily talk shows and covers football, men’s basketball, baseball and more. He, along with his team members, tries to cover as many men’s and women’s sporting events and conferences as possible. As we sat in Brewhalla for — what else — a brew and a holla (sorry), I had the privilege of learning more about the guy behind the Bison mic.
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HAVING A BEER WITH | JEFF CULHANE
Good Life: Jeff, you’re from Mitchell, S.D.? Jeff Culhane: Yes. They’re famous for the Corn Palace. GL: Is Mitchell also famous for other corn things, like corn hot dishes, corn drinks and corn candy? JC: Not really. The Corn Palace gift shop has a lot of candy corn stuff and corncob heads and who knows what else. My parents actually own a sports bar right across the street from the Corn Palace, so corn chowder is on the menu. GL: It better be.
GL: Did you have to do some vocal coaching to get your radio voice, or did all your practice in elementary school pay off? JC: I like to say I have a face for radio and a voice for newspaper. Not really. I have noticed through the years how certain things affect it, like if I drink a sugary drink. On a football game day, which is long and energetic, I’ll stay away from any pop and ice-cold water. That sounds weird, but I know how it makes me feel. I can’t eat close to or during a broadcast. My wife Sarah and I have a tradition called Game Day Breakfast. It’s usually a combination of eggs, bacon, pancakes or waffles. But, yeah; no schooling or coaching for the voice. I just have a feel for what makes my voice strong or weak. 16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
GL: Did you ever have to work on getting rid of an accent? Like me — I obviously have a very strong accent of sorts. Some people think I’m Canadian. I’m not. Some people think I’m from Alabama. I don’t know. Did you have to work on getting rid of yours? JC: Not really. When I get into the broadcast mode, I don’t have the upper Midwest sound. It’s not too over the top either way. GL: Yeah, you have a very neutral voice. JC: I was actually told from a southern school I applied for at one point that I sounded too northern. GL: Oh, my goodness. “The confederacy can’t handle it.” JC: That was a legit response from the school. So it’s real. Call it whatever you want to call it, but you have to sound like the locals to a certain degree. GL: Vocal prejudice. JC: There you go. In this day and age, get outraged. GL: That’s right. Get upset.
GL: What’s one of your hobbies outside of work? JC: I like to play golf. I recently told my wife that if we’re ever lucky enough to retire, a goal would be to play a golf course in every state of the Union. That would be fun. I’m not very good, but I like to play and I like to hang out with the guys or Sarah. We just had our first child five weeks ago, so I would say he’s my number one hobby now. GL: Congrats! Whoa, that’s a fresh baby. JC: Thank you. Yes, he’s fresh, in more ways than one. He’s taken things over, certainly for the better.
GL: What’s your favorite movie? JC: Saving Private Ryan. I was in high school when it came out, and I went there with a friend. Of course, when you’re 15 or 16 years old
— or guys at any age — crying or showing any emotion is just not something you’re quite expected to do. I remember we sat there after it ended and we just kind of looked at each other like, “Who’s going to say something first?” It was just such an amazing account of D-Day, Normandy and sacrifice.
GL: What’s one of your biggest personality traits that have changed since you were in your early 20s. JC: I’m quieter than I was then. I think I’ve learned that time and place are very important when you have an opinion. To a certain extent, you may be right about something, but it might not be the right time to share it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong about saying what you feel, but I definitely do think that if you’re looking to continue improving relationships and connect with people, or you’re looking to improve your career, it’s okay to not say something from time to time. That doesn’t mean you can’t say it at some point.
GL: What’s one thing you’re really into, almost like an obsession — besides sports? JC: I would probably now say, my son. As every parent that will read this knows, it’s just different. He and Sarah have been constantly on my mind as she’s still on maternity leave. I’ve been thinking about the future and how to do what’s best and how to provide, protect and guide, stuff that was as far away as you could think it would be a year ago.
GL: What does living the good life mean to you? JC: What I’m doing right now. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 17
ON THE COVER | FIX IT FORWARD
THE MECHANICS OF FAITH FIX IT FORWARD'S IMPACT ON THE COMMUNITY WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR
• PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Auto mechanics. They’re often met with mistrust. Women, specifically, have been told to watch out for mechanics that take advantage of the fact that many girls (myself included) don’t know a whole lot about cars, although, let’s be honest; many guys don’t either. Throw that stereotype out the window and imagine what a car obsession and philanthropy could accomplish when joined forces. Matt Carlson and Jeremy Jensen have been car hobbyists for years. They’re probably the type of guys who tried to soup up their Hot Wheels as kids, but starting an auto care shop was never a bucket list item — for either of them. Carlson and Jensen met when they attended Moorhead High School in the ’90s. Years later, they both wound up 18 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
at Microsoft and reconnected. It was there where they creatively merged their passion for cars with their desire to help others. Four years ago, their dream became a humble reality with the beginnings of what is now known as Fix It Forward Ministry. A Life of Service Mark 10:45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. After 15 years of working a stable, well-paying job, Carlson took the leap and began working for Jeremy’s and his brainchild, Fix It Forward Ministry.
“It was a difficult leap,” Carlson said, “but it was a good time for me to move on, and things fell into place. I felt like I was called to do this. We really felt like God led us.” Carlson and Jensen first ran the ministry on a private property out of town, but the limitations and location made it difficult. Their shop, while sizable for a residence, wasn’t large enough to service and store many vehicles. They also lacked a fenced-in space that could house donated cars. Despite these frustrations, they still knew this was what they were supposed to do.
— the perfect spot to start their next idea — an auto care shop to support the ministry. “We came up with the idea of just creating the shop and have it pay for the heat, electricity and the rent. We were able to get this big building that has enough room for everyone to work, and by having a regular automotive shop, we were able to get insurance,” Carlson said. “The more we can grow the auto shop, the more we can grow the ministry because all the equipment is used for both.”
“We found out that if you give away your services, it’s going to grow quickly,” Carlson said. “We started by working with the YWCA, and then we went to the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center. Lots of people have transportation issues, but if you’re a single mom with five kids, transporting is really difficult, so we thought we’d focus on that area. Then we went to the homeless shelters and 40 other organizations in the F-M community.” As Fix It Forward swiftly grew, they acquired their 501(c) (3) as a nonprofit and began giving away donated cars they repaired. Soon a shop with 6,000 square feet, private offices and a fenced-in area went on the market urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 19
ON THE COVER | FIX IT FORWARD
Good Stewards Throughout this process, God’s impeccable timing and creative way of providing for every need have reassured and encouraged Carlson and Jensen. “Before we changed our name and realized we needed to start a shop, someone at Jeremy’s church wanted to help with graphic design. We said, ‘That’s great, but we don’t really need anything.’ Two months later, we decided to start the shop and didn’t have a name, a logo or anything,” Carlson said. “He saw what we needed before we realized we needed it,” Jensen said. “By the time we had the building, he had everything laid out. He was like, ‘Here’s the logo, here’s the name, here are the colors.’ God put Stephen Dorsey in our path and knew the exact time we needed him, even though we had no clue we would. The whole ministry has been one thing like that after another.”
The people that have stepped up to the plate to help the Fix It Forward journey take off have a wide array of skill sets that are necessary for the mission’s success. Carlson and Jensen stay in their lane and allow other experts to assist them as they help those in need to gain independence and safety. This is one reason they rely on the organizations to provide the donees. “It comes back to being good stewards,” Jensen said. “We want to take the resources God’s given us, whether it’s financial or people’s time, and apply those in the most efficient ways possible. Part of that process is making sure we’re not trying to do those things we’re not called to do and avren’t skilled to do — letting the organizations do their work so we’re efficient on our end.” “We want to give cars to people so they can get that job and get out of the shelter or away from that abusive person — whatever it takes so they can be self-sufficient,” Carlson said. “These case managers are great at identifying the people who are in that spot. We’re not. We fix the cars.” Sticking to their interest in fixing cars for a purpose and allowing others to help them along the way has been the most efficient way of growing their business and
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We attract people who are really excited about our mission, so it’s not just that they want to turn a wrench; they want to give back.” — Matt Carlson, President
ministry. Both Carlson and Jensen encourage others to use their interests to help others in unique and practical ways. “Take the skills God has given you and help others,” Jensen said. “Take that gift, that passion and focus it on something bigger than you.” Finding Purpose For too many people, work is a source of, well, very little, besides earning income and, hopefully, benefits. Sure, you may have a friend or two at your job, one you can share memes with for an occasional laugh, but it might be hard to feel that sense of meaning. It’s for this very reason that people have sought out work at Fix It Forward Auto Care. Carlson and Jensen have never had to post job advertisements because the reward of the purpose is so palpable. “We have six employees here now. We haven’t ever put an ad out to hire someone,” Carlson said. “God keeps dropping the right people in place for us. That’s kind of unique in this industry.” As with many blue-collar jobs, there has been a national shortage of auto mechanics, and the turnover rate can be high. For Fix It Forward employees and volunteers, the impact their work makes in the lives of others keeps them satisfied. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 21
“We attract people who are really excited about our mission, so it’s not just that they want to turn a wrench; they want to give back,” Carlson said. “It’s a job with a big bonus,” Jensen said. “It’s very hard to find a career or a paying job in this industry that has that purpose or mission tied to it where you can go to work not only to achieve wages but to give back to the community, too.” Fix It Forward Auto Care opened 16 months ago and continues to grow alongside the ministry. They currently have six employees and had over 75 volunteers involved with the mission in 2018. They’ve also been able to fix up and give away 178 cars to those in need. That number continues to grow because of the generosity of others. Many of Fix It Forward’s volunteers are a part of Carlson and Jensen’s church families. It’s been a well-received opportunity, especially for the men of their congregations. “One of the struggles of the church is to get men involved. Statistically, if a man is involved in his faith, the family follows, but how do you get men involved in the churches? Most men don’t want to serve cupcakes 22 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
at funerals. That’s not our calling, and nobody wants Jeremy singing in the choir,” Carlson said. “So you have to provide opportunities for these guys. For a percentage of the population of the congregation, this gets them involved.” Living the Good Life When asked how they would describe what “living the good life” means to them, the friends’ answers were as meaningful as their mission. “I think as I grow and, hopefully, become wiser, living the good life is following the pattern that Jesus laid out,” Jensen said. “Living the good life is doing the best I can to take what God has given me and do good for others on the path he has for me. It really comes down to that — that giving back and living a life of service.” “My thought is basically living out your faith,” Carlson said. “Jeremy and I are both doers. One of my favorite mottos is ‘Less talk. More do,’ so living out the faith is going out there and doing those things that your faith talks about, which is serving others. It’s a different way of saying the exact same thing that Jeremy said, but that’s
probably why we work on so much together. I think most of the people working with us would answer in the same way. They feel that need to serve.” Get Involved If you would like to get involved with the ministry, here are a number of ways you can help their efforts grow. 1 Volunteer. Help fix cars during the evenings or weekends, or offer to visit with clients as they wait for their cars. 2 Donate your car, if your car is repairable. 3 Give a gift. Cash donations help pay for the car parts. 4 Get your car fixed at Fix It Forward Auto Care. This is how they keep the heat and lights on and how the ministry stays afloat. In order to receive help from Fix It Forward, each individual must have a referral from a case manager connected to the YWCA, Rape and Abuse Crisis Center, or one of the 40 organizations Fix It Forward Ministry works with on a case-by-case scenario. •
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Living the good life is doing the best I can to take what God has given me and do good for others on the path he has for me. It really comes down to that — that giving back and living a life of service.” — Jeremy Jensen, Vice President
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LOCAL BAND
THE HUMAN ELEMENT Better Together
WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
Interviewing local FargoMoorhead bands has become the highlight of my life these days. From meeting new people and listening to music I know or I am hearing for the first time is such a rush and always a treat. For this article, I had the pleasure of interviewing the members of The Human Element. Seth
Holden is on drums and is the resident comedian (although they are all hilarious), Matt Johnson is their lead guitarist and sings vocals, Brant Niemi is their bass player and bookkeeper, and Kari Marie plays they keyboard and sings vocals.
Brant came aboard in 2018,” Said Matt. With that being said they have been playing music for many years, whether it’s in other bands like O’Fosho, Sovereign Sect, Living In Tent City, or just jamming these four have talent like no other.
“We’ve been playing since 2015 as a band - Seth, Kari, and myself and
Before adding Brant to the band they group can agree there was something
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missing. “Brant was like the Ironman that put the ship back together,” said Kari Marie. “He is our magical unicorn,” added Matt. Although his band mates are singing his praise, the love they all have for each other is admirable. Our interview was a mere 35 minutes, definitely one of the shortest interviews
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When we were talking about what we should call ourselves once we decided this was a cohesive unit,” said Kari Marie, “one of the things I thought was quite prevalent is that regardless if we have original music or if we are playing cover tunes is that we each bring our own element or we each bring our own humanity to the songs.”
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LOCAL BAND | THE HUMAN ELEMENT
I’ve ever conducted, but it was filled with so much laughter, knowledge, and love that I felt like I’d been friends with them for years. What does The Human Element mean, you might be asking yourself? “When we were talking about what we should call ourselves once we decided this was a cohesive unit,” said Kari Marie, “one of the things I thought was quite prevalent is that regardless if we have original music or if we are playing cover tunes is that we each bring our own element or we each bring our own humanity to the songs.” No matter how hard you try you can never recreate what the original artist made, but you can bring your own element to that cover. The Human Element describes their sound as a mix of funk and singer-songwriter. It is definitely music you want to get up and move to and you really feel connected to the band when they play. “The music is so much better when you love who you play it with and love what you do,” said Seth. “It has got to be fun” added Matt. 26 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
As a group, The Human Element doesn’t take their music lightly but they approach it with a lighthearted attitude and correct their errors with little to no confrontation. “We never dwell on mistakes we’ve made while were playing or after,” said Seth. “ We may chuckle about it after the show, but then (that mistake) will never happen again.” It is easy to tell by talking with one or all the members, attending a show, or listening along in your car that they really love what they do when they are playing together in this band. “We never obsess over how we played in the show, we obsess over how fun it was to play the show,” Matt. “There is always musicians to play with, but there is not always musicians to play together,” added Seth. There is more to just music when it comes to shows though, “The sound and light crew are just as equally important as we are,” said Kari Marie. “It’s not always just that the songs were good, it’s how does the audience look, how crisp was the kick drum, can I hear Matt’s guitar or Kari’s Keys?” added Brant. Everyone brings their own special part to a band whether it is songwriting, composing, or making sure the sound quality is the best it can be. “We’ve been elevated to another level of magical playing since we’ve had Brant,” said Kari Marie. The Human Element is in the process of recording a live album along with their third studio album, the date is not set yet, but you can find their music on iTunes, Spotify, Orange Records in downtown Fargo or at any one of their shows. For all upcoming shows check out their Facebook page and check out some of their live shows on YouTube, you won't be disappointed. •
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ASK 30 WOMEN
WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WISH ALL MEN WOULD KNOW? “Yeah, I know.” “I knew that already.” “I know everything.”… False! You know some things, but not everything, about the important ladies in your life. You really don’t, and we can prove it. We asked 30 women “What is something you wish all men would know?”
1. Don’t try to fix it - just listen! 2. Chivalry is not dead. We always appreciate when you hold open doors, or offer to carry our things. 3. Women are like cats. We want attention when we want attention. But too much and we might bite/claw/scratch. 4. Reaching to hold hands in the car or in public actually means a lot. 5. It’s not always about the big extravagant things. Little gestures like doing laundry and dishes are appreciated. 6. When you leave the toilet seat up, we fall in. It’s not fun getting wet buns! 7. It’s the little things that mean a lot. 8. There is nothing wrong with owning an expensive handbag. Nothing! 9. We know they’re not gonna understand us, but at least try. 10. Money is not impressive. 28 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
11. When we are venting, a great question to ask is, “Are you just venting or do you want me to help you solve this issue?” Because sometimes we just need to get it out but we will handle it on our own. 12. Even strong and independent women appreciate hugs, hand holding, and kisses on the forehead. 13. Women like to be told they look nice. Everyone likes to be complimented. 14. “You look fine” is not an acceptable answer. 15. How lucky you are to not have to sit on a toilet in a public restroom.
19. They could avoid two hour long conversations by communicating well for five minutes. 20. We always notice when you check out another woman. No matter how hard you try to hide it - we know. 21. We love any romantic gesture. 22. How much cramps hurt. 23. No matter what we say, we always appreciate things like unexpected flowers or compliments or just coming up behind us for a hug that isn’t attached to any expectations. 24. We like Star Wars too.
FLOWERS? IT'S NOT EVEN M Y BIRTHDAY! 16. They should know women are the stronger sex. 17. How to put the lid down. 18. We need to hear “I love you” even if you are out with your guy friends.
25. We shave our legs for you, not ourselves. 26. A man who cooks is a dream come true.
27. We take so long getting ready to look good for you. 28. I need to hear how you feel about me often. 29. Stop competing and start listening. It's a team project, not a race. 30. My mood swings are hormonal, not personal.
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LOCAL HERO | MIKE GRUCHALLA
WRITTEN BY: ALEXIS SWENSON PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
When Mike Gruchalla arrived in Saigon, Vietnam on January 11, 1970, he hit the ground rolling - literally. “As soon as we touched down at the airport base ... the Viet Cong started mortaring us. The airplane got to the end of the runway, started taxiing back, lowered the back ramp on the airplane ... we exited while the airplane was still taxiing ready to take off. So, I hit the ground rolling,” explained Gruchalla. Merely seven months prior the 19-year-old had been drafted to serve in the Vietnam War. “I drafted and then I enlisted [in the Army] because my older brother had gone AWOL. I figured that if I enlisted and volunteered to be a medic and got sent to Vietnam, it would keep my brother out of Vietnam,” said Gruchalla. 30 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
Gruchalla volunteered to be a medic simply because he knew they were needed and assumed it would send him to Vietnam. In August 1969, Gruchalla left for Fort Lewis, Washington to complete basic training followed by Advanced Individual Training (Gruchalla’s medic training) in Fort Sam Houston, Texas. After the abbreviated training, Gruchalla went home for Christmas leave and arrived in Vietnam on January 11, 1970. Life in Vietnam Gruchalla felt life at base camp was far less appealing than getting out in the field and often volunteered for patrol with any group that wanted a medic. “I didn’t like being at base camp where I had to have spit-shine shoes, a pressed uniform; I wanted to do my job,” said Gruchalla.
This willingness to go out with anyone — Koreans or other allies — exposed Gruchalla to extremely dangerous situations. In the course of nearly 2 years, Gruchalla found himself in 15 different tunnels, being shot, surviving four helicopter crashes, and being run over by a tank. Earning the Combat Medical Badge Medal Most memorably, Gruchalla cites the event that earned him the Combat Medical Badge Medal, because, “there were only 2,231 combat medic badges awarded in Vietnam.” “On July 2nd, I was sent out to a firebase ... The night of the 2nd, we got attacked. When the attack started the enemy was playing Johnny Cash, Charlie Pride, and other country songs over loudspeakers in the jungle. Over a period of five or six hours, we threw everything at them we had.
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That badge says I did my job. I think I did it well. I wish I could have saved more, but there’s only so much you can do.” – Mike Gruchalla
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LOCAL HERO | MIKE GRUCHALLA
We even lowered the guns and fired beehive rounds (155 howitzer with seal darts), said Gruchalla. “... I was dragging a wounded soldier into the command bunker with the help of another guy. A satchel charge went off in front of us, blew me into the tunnel, and as soon as I got into that tunnel, they blew it. That sealed the entrance. “There were 38 of us in the bunker and we called in an A-B52 strike on our position. When it was all done, 63 GI’s died. 38 of us got off. I was number 38. “When we got dug out, it was my job to tag and bag the 63 guys. The first guy that I tagged and bagged was the guy that was helping me with the wounded man. He had the flag from that firebase inside his shirt. And, I 32 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
have that flag today,” said Gruchalla. According to the American War Library, the Combat Medical Badge Medal was established to recognize medical personnel who experienced combat while providing medical assistance to wounded personnel. “That badge says I did my job. I think I did it well. I wish I could have saved more, but there’s only so much you can do,” said Gruchalla.
things out ... because they made references to where I was,” explained Gruchalla. Gruchalla reasons that the paperwork was confiscated because he carried out some of his work in Cambodia and Laos – a direct violation of international law. “We weren’t supposed to be there,” said Gruchalla.
Gruchalla’s Medals Gruchalla also received a Purple Heart Medal, a Bronze Star Medal, and a Silver Star Medal, but the only paperwork he has is for the Combat Medical Badge Medal.
Per military rules, an individual is allowed to wear their medals if they have paperwork to verify earning them. As such, Gruchalla continues to be denied from wearing the medals. Initially frustrated, he has now reached a resolve of sorts.
“When I came home from Vietnam, it took me 4 months to get my things … They were going through and taking
“It hurt at first, but it doesn’t matter now. My dad saw my medals and that’s all that counts,” said Gruchalla.
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It hurt at first, but it doesn’t matter now. My dad saw my medals and that’s all that counts.” – Mike Gruchalla Coming Home Despite diligently doing his job to help fellow soldiers, Specialist Spc. 4 Gruchalla’s homecoming was characterized by a negative public perception of Vietnam veterans. “... On the flight from Minneapolis to Fargo, the only seat that was available was first class. There was a guy sitting in the window seat next to me. As soon as the plane took off, he went and sat with the stewardesses; he didn’t want to sit by a Vietnam vet. When we landed in Fargo, nobody got off the plane until I did. They all waited at the back of the baggage claim area until I got my bag and walked out the door,” said Gruchalla. In the following weeks, Gruchalla determinedly attempted to register for college. “I dressed the part – bell-bottoms, shirt with puffy sleeves, the beads, the whole thing. But, I went up to the registrar's office and pretty much got chased off of urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 33
LOCAL HERO | MIKE GRUCHALLA
Moorhead State. I had short hair, I was a Vietnam vet, I was a ‘baby killer’, said Gruchalla. “I went home. I spent four months in my folks’ basement growing out my hair. I didn’t go out for anything because I didn’t know if I would be accepted for having medium length hair,” said Gruchalla. A Continued Medical Career Eventually, Gruchalla acquired a job in the medical field, continuing to care for hurting people. For 10 years, he worked at Dakota Hospital for orthopedic surgeons. Then, he spent the next 27 years at the Fargo VA Hospital working in the operating room. Gruchalla saw firsthand how much of what the medics learned in Vietnam was put into practice on American soil. “It was a slow process, but it went from ambulances basically being 34 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
a meat wagon ... to someone riding in the ambulance able to initiate medical treatment. And, with that, the use of helicopters to transport because we found out in Vietnam that we only had basically an hour before things would permanently die,” said Gruchalla. “My Lives as a Medic” At the consistent urging of a VA doctor and Gruchalla’s now-wife, Gruchalla authored a book outlining the stories he carries from the Vietnam War. He was reluctant at first, in part due to his dyslexia which made the writing process challenging, though he’s glad now that he wrote it. “My Lives as a Medic: A Soldier’s Journal in Vietnam” provides a raw, honest memoir of Gruchalla’s experience in the Vietnam War. Giving Back Today Gruchalla wasn’t always involved - or invited - into veterans organizations. “When I first came home, the VFWs
and the American Legions called me ... they both told me they didn’t want me. ‘Vietnam was not a war ... we don’t want the Vietnam vets’,” said Gruchalla. Many years later, prompted by the positive change in the public’s view of Vietnam veterans, Gruchalla joined the VFW, AM Vets, Disabled American Veterans, and Vietnam Veterans of America. Gruchalla helps the Vietnam Veterans of America with their 5K and 10K races as a crossing guard and is involved with the Fargo Moorhead Vietnam Veterans Week in May. Furthermore, for the past four years, Gruchalla has volunteered with the Veterans Honor Flight of ND/ MN, a nonprofit created solely to honor America’s veterans for their sacrifices. He assists in Honor Flight fundraising events and has been the cook for the past 2 years.
Helping with the Honor Flight is a rewarding experience for Gruchalla, and his favorite part is “just seeing the veterans as they see the memorials.” The Good Life “In spite of being diagnosed with cancer and having a stroke, I’ve had a good life. And, most people would say a good life ... with friends and family. ... I have associations and acquaintances because in Vietnam I learned that you don’t want to be friends with anybody because when friends die, it hurts. When we acquaintances die, it’s not as bad,” said Gruchalla. Undoubtedly, the Vietnam War played a large role in Gruchalla’s life although he’s not solely defined by his years serving. Rather, his life in whole is a greater representation of his values. When looking at Gruchalla’s experiences, it is evident that in enlisting to protect his brother, working as a Combat Medic, 37 years in the medical field, writing a book, and volunteering with veterans organizations, his primary focus has always been caring for others. “... I wouldn’t change a thing. It was meant to be. And, like I said, it’s been a good life,” said Gruchalla. •
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... I wouldn’t change a thing. It was meant to be. And, like I said, it’s been a good life.” – Mike Gruchalla
“My Lives a Medic: A Soldier’s Journal in Vietnam” can be purchased by emailing: pmatsonr@hotmail.com
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DONATION VALUE 5¢ PER BOTTLE DONATION VALUE
for MILLER HIGH LIFE and MILLER HIGH LIFE LIGHT.
RECYCLE Empty and unbroken MILLER HIGH LIFE and MILLER HIGH LIFE LIGHT bottles only. Return in recyclable original carriers, cartons or boxes.
DONATIONS Donations go to: Fargo/Moorhead, Detroit Lakes CASS/CLAY VETERANS ASSISTANCE FUND and VFW COLOR GUARD FUND or any of the other registered organizations at: minnkotarecycling.com
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