SpecialthankstotheEnglishandArtDepartments forassistancewiththispublication. Forbackissuesofthe StrayShot,goto https://www.frederickgunn.org/student-life/student-publications FacultyEditor:Mr.Visentin
CoverArt:Untitled by Thea Howe ‘23
Three Poems by Christian Wood ‘23
bopforpresidentialpolitics,c.2020
blackandmidnight onlythetvlightingupthehouse fireworkssoundingoff likegunshotsinthenight
tomorrowtomorrow,Iloveyoutomorrow thebrightdayisclouded walkingupstepslike asiftheywereachild whosetoysweretakenaway glassonthegroundpeople beingchasedlikesharksina feedingfrenzybrokenchairs brokenglasswomencrying menscared
tomorrowtomorrow,Iloveyoutomorrow
Hidinginthedark doorslock’sbeingchecked thecloudsblockingthesun thereisstilllighttosee thegallowsinthedistance thentheyleavewithnooneinsight
tomorrowtomorrow,Iloveyoutomorrow You'realwaysadayaway
(im)properbehavior
acrime:sleepinginyourbedwhilebedandnot hearingthecops whileblack.
BreonnaTayler:shewasshot6timesinherownhome while sleepingwhilebeingblack.
buyingproductsisalsoimproperbehavior,inthe UnitedStates. Askgeorge floyd’sdaughter–whowaskilledfortrying tobuy thingswhileblack.
seemslikelebron’swinning,whiletryingtomake statements mightcosthimsponsorships.
africanamericansathletesshouldavoidspeakingup forthings whileblack, inner-citybasketballshouldn’tbefrownedupon–unlikewalking thestreetsinthesuburbs. kidswalkingonthestreetinaniceneighborhoodis scaryto peoplewhileblack.
evenb-ballisnotfairgame,ifyouareplayinga “whiter”team.
LookattheNCAAWBwereLSUwerepaintedasnot classingfor winningwhileblack.
doblackpeoplebelonginAmericaorisitanillusion thatweare allfree?
whyisitblackpeoplewhoareseeninthiswayand howdoitry tolivewhileblack
AllTheSame
Cast:
SpeakerAbiracialman
PoliceofficerAwhiteman
YouAwhiteman
Rosteroffeelings
Anger
Hurt Rage Fear Scared
Anxious
Setting:TrafficStop,inanaffluentneighborhood
Infraction:Speeding
PoliceOfficer:Whyareyougoingsofast, Therearekidsouthereandpeopleare, That'snothowwedothingsonthissideoftown.
Speaker:Iwasgoingthepaceoftraffic,andIamfrom here.
Policeofficer:Canyoustepoutofthecar?
You:___________
a)Justgetout(Justagreeingtonotstarttrouble)
b)(pretendyoudonotheartheconversation)
c)(tofriend)Thecopisonlydoinghisjob
d)Justlistenanddon’taskquestions
e)Youcannotbeserioushedidnothingwrong peopleweregoingfasterthanus
RestoringtheNaturalOrderThroughJustice
by Jennifer Macler ‘23
Intheplay Hamlet byWilliamShakespeare, HamletseeksretributionfromClaudiusformurdering hisfather,thelateKingofDenmark.WhileHamletwas initiallydistressedaboutthedeathofhisfatherandthe remarriageofhismother,hedidnotviewtheincident asaninjustice.However,a ertheappearanceofhis father’sghost,inwhichthemurderousintentions behindhisdeathwererevealed,Hamletbegantoseek revenge.Throughouttheplay,Hamletfalteringly chasesa ertherestorationofjusticeforthemurderof hisfather,asfatecallshimtobringbackthenatural orderofgoodandevil.
Shakespeareinterchangeablyusestheconceptof naturalandunnaturalwithjusticeandinjustice.When theghostofKingHamletappears,hedescribeshisown “foulandmostunnaturalmurder”anddemandsthat “Ifthou[Hamlet]hastnatureintheebearitnot”(1:5:25, 81).Themurderisunnatural,andthereforeunjust,so ifHamlethasnaturewithinhim,thenhewilldothe lateKingjustice.Shakespearethenaddresseswhat determineswhatisjustorunjust,asHamletsays,“My
fatecriesout”andHoratioreassuresthat“Heavenwill direct”(1:4:82,91).Itissomehigherorder,here referredtoas“fate”or“heaven,”whichiscallingon Hamlettorestorethenaturalorderthatwasdisturbed byClaudius’sforcefultakingofthelateKing’slife.
A ertheghost’svisitation,Hamletseekstoprove Claudius’sguiltinordertoauthenticatehisrestoration ofjustice.Allthatendsuptranspiringthroughoutthe playpointsHamlettowardtheideathatheis “Promptedto[his]revengebyheavenandhell,” signifyinghisbeliefinadutytotakerevenge(2:2:537). Hisdutytojusticeisfurtherprovedthroughthe play-within-the-play,whichHamletusedto“catchthe conscienceoftheking”(2:2:558).AsClaudiusvisibly reactstothemurderintheplay,Hamletdeclares,“We thathavefreesouls,it/Touchesusnot”(3:2:219-220). Suchastatementrevealsthatanactagainstone’s conscience,orinotherwords,anactthatisunjustand unalignedwithnature,willmakeaslaveofone’ssoul. Thesoulisnolongerfreebecauseitischainedtoa debtthatmustberepaidundertheordinancesoffate. Itis,therefore,necessaryforHamlettoactbecauseitis provedbeyondadoubtthatanactofinjusticehasbeen committed,anactthathasensnaredClaudius’s
conscienceandrequiresanotherforcetobringbackto order.
Hamlet,althoughhavingproventhevalidityof hisrevenge,hesitatestocarryoutrevenge.He acknowledgesthat“Thetimeisoutofjoint”butdreads thathemustrestorejustice,protesting,“Ocursedspite, /ThateverIwasborntosetitright”(1:5:189-190). Eveninbelievingittobehisdutytorestoreorder,he fearstoact.InasoliloquyinwhichHamletexpresses histruethoughts,hecallshimselfout,saying,“ButI ampigeon-livered,andlackgall”(2:2:529).Hamlet’s mindsetbeginstoshi ,however,ashecomestogrips withtheideaofmortality.Inhisexchangewiththe gravedigger,hegrappleswiththethoughtthata er death,weall“returnethtodust”andfollowthesame circleoflife(5:1:177).ThisrevelationallowsHamletto acceptthedutythatfatehaslaiduponhimandfulfill therestorationofjustice.Hecomestobelievethat “There’sadivinitythatshapesourends”andthathe mustsimply“Letbe”(5:2:10)(5:2:196).Suchbeliefs allowHamlettoactwithoutregardforhisownends, butwithtrustindestiny'sroleindetermininghisfate.
Hamlet’sresponsestotheeventsoftheplay indicateShakespeare’sperceptionofgood,evil,andthe
naturalorderoflife.The firstinsightwereceiveinto Shakespeare'sbeliefiswhentheghostappearsonthe battlementsandHamletquestionsit,saying,“Bethoua spiritofhealth,orgoblindamned,/Bringwiththee airsfromheavenorblastsfromhell”(1:4:40-42).Such questionsareevidencethatShakespearedoesindeed believeinobjectivegoodandevil.Throughthe existenceofobjectivegoodandevil,justiceand injusticecanalsolive.Muchoftheplaythenfocuses onthereactionsofvariouscharacterstotheactsof injusticethatarecommitted.Intheexampleof Hamletseekingretributionforthe“unnatural”murder ofhisfather,Shakespearerevealsthatthereisabalance inlifethatmustbemaintained.Whenthenatural orderisdisturbed,anothermustpaythepricetobring justiceback.Inthiscase,itisHamletwhoplaysthe roleofremediator,whichherecognizesbysaying, heavenhathpleaseditso, Topunishmewiththis,andthiswithme, ThatImustbetheirscourgeandminister. (3:4:174-176)
ThroughHamlet,justiceisbroughttoCladiusinhis death,butnotwithouttheexpenseofHamlet’sown death.
Shakespeare’sviewontheorderoflifeis portrayedthroughthereactionsofHamlettothe injusticesdonetohisfather.Thattheremustbe remediationandbalancetolifeisacentraltheme throughouttheplay,asnoactionisle without consequences.Hamlet’sroleintherestorationofthe naturalorderisrevealedbytheghostofKingHamlet andprovenbythediscoveryofClaudius’sguilt.
AlthoughHamlethesitatestoact,herealizesthat individuallivesmeanlittleinthelongrun,soheletsgo ofhisfearandactsaccordingtofate.Hamlet finally restoresjusticethroughthedeathofClaudius,butat thetollofhisownlifeandthatofmanyothers.
Three Poems by Vivian Boucher ‘23
IFellFortheEyesThatWereNotLookingatMe
Ifellfortheeyesthatwerenotlookingatme. Theeyesthatshi aimlesslyaboutto Nearlyeverything,butyouforgotme.
HowIrememberthoseeyes,heavenly Shadesofblue,likethecolorsofthesea. Ifellfortheeyesthatwerenotlookingatme.
Ohwhatashame,forthiscatastrophe
Thatwrapsitscoldhandsaroundmyneck Effectseverything,becauseyouforgotme.
Iyearntocapturetheintimacy
Youreyespossessineveryonebutme. Ifellfortheeyesthatwerenotlookingatme.
Mypoorheartbeatstoamelancholy
Rhythmwhenyouareabsent.Yetyoureyes Consumemymind,becauseyouforgotme.
Thepaintinginyoureyes,asavory
PieceofartwhichIwillneverobserve. Ifellfortheeyesthatwerenotlookingatme. Yousaweverything,butyouforgotme.
“TheOcean,ohhowitremindsme.”
Theocean,ohhowitremindsme. Thewarmthofthesandencloses MyfeetasIwalktowardsthesea. Thebreezecallsmyname,stirring Myhairineverywhichway. Asthewavescrashdown,with Theirthunderousroar,theymeet Myfeetwithagentlehello. Thecurrenttakesitshandin Mineasitcarriesmeouttosea.
Some Memories
Neverleaveyour Bones,likesaltin Thesea Theybecomepartofyou. Andyoucarrythem.
“YouHaveLe GoosebumpsonMySoul”
Youhavele goosebumpsonmysoul, Willanythingfeellikebeingwithyou?
Tenderbruisethatneverseemstoheal
Whenthelightsareoff andit’squiet;
Willanythingfeellikebeingwithyou?
Atriparoundtheworldwouldn’tdo; Whenthelightsareoff andit’squiet
Ghostly fingertipsplayalongmymind;
Atriparoundtheworldwouldn’tdo
ForeverythingIsee,revolvesbacktoyou. Ghostly fingertipsplayalongmymind, Leavingimprintedmemoriesofyouinsideme.
ForeverythingIsee,revolvesbacktoyou; Thecharactersofmymostfavoritebooks, Leavingimprintedmemoriesofyouinsideme, NolongeroffercomfortwhenI’maloneinyour absence.
Youhavele goosebumpsonmysoul, Willanythingfeellikebeingwithyou?
Eventhecharactersofmymostfavoritebooksdonot compare,
Foryouareatenderbruisethatneverseemstoheal.
Randomthoughts###
by Thomas Vo ‘25
AsIliedownattheTurf fieldgazingupatthesky, thoughtsrunthroughmymind.TheSonyheadphones Iboughtfornoisecancellationpurposesdonotseem tosilencethematall,thestoriesIcarryfromthestart ofthisodysseycalledlife.“Hey,arewedoing fine…at all?”Iaskmyselfoutoftheblue.Perhapsthatquestion isnotfromme;itisthestreamofthoughtsconstantly flowinginmymind.“Stillinsecure,butit’sbetternow,” Irespond,asthewindcarriesmyconsciousnessaway. Atthismoment,Ifeelalive.
Honesty
by Audrey Richards ‘24
It’snevereasytoshowtruehonesty
Whenwerehopingtoescapeconstrainability
Wehideawayourrealselves
Lockedinaboxwekeepontheshelves
Ofourchildhoodbedroom
Coveredindustandgloom
Waitingtocomeoutandshineagain
Likeitwouldwhenwewoulddancealoneatageten
Butwehideit.
I’vealwayswonderedwhyit’ssohardtoshowme
She’skind,she’ssweet,andshe’ssometimeskinda funny
Butshehides.
Coveredinamaskofalie.
Maybeit’sbecausetheworldistoocruelforher. Itwouldbreakherdownfromayelltoawhisper.
Quietsothatnoonecouldhear Butthatiswhensheisthemostthere.
Iamhopingonedayshewillcomeoutofhershell
Bracetheunknownandbreakoutofthisspell
Herrealself
Nolongerstuckonashelf
Nolongerscreamingforhelp
Sheisfree
Readyforhonestly
Readytobeme
Untitled by Ava Gleason ‘26
MeatSaucePasta
by Aria Trotta ‘23
Mymomwasneveronetoshowphysicalaffection. Thedistancebetweenusfeltsostrongasshedisplayed herloveintheformoffood.HertraditionalJapanese dishes,myfavoriterecipeofmeatsaucepasta,orthe perfectlybakedchickenwingswereinthecomfortof ourhome.Theeffortsheindulgedinhercooking expressedher firingloveforus.Therewasnothing betterthangoinghometothedinnerscookedfrom scratchonthetable.Everythingfeltfarmore impressivethanthedininghallmealsthatIlivedoff of forayear.
Three Poems by Joseph Shaker ‘24
“Thereisnothing.”
Thereisnothing. Sorry.
Thereisabsolutelynothinghere. Nomaterial. Nobeauty.
Nolongelegantpassagesaboutstrong emotion.
JustrandomwordsthatI’musingtowaste yourtime.
Youdon’tneedtogodeeper. Becausethereisnothing. Thereisnoinvisibleink.
Youdon’tneedspecialgogglestoseewhat's happening.
Andthereisnothinginbetweentheselines. Thereisnothing. Sorry.
Andmaybethatisenough.
OhmyGod!Hediedonthestairs!
“OHMYGOD!!!HEDIEDONTHESTAIRS!!!”
Iglancedupather,seeingtearsinhereyes. Icouldhear PieJesu asgravityitselfincreased. Woeisme.Upthestairs.Woeisme.
Iglancedupather,seeingtearsinhereyes. Don’tforgetthislifestylewasmychoice. Woeisme.Downthestairs.Woeisme. Myheadlandedinthetreadsofmetal.
Can’tforgetthelifestyleIhavechosen. Goingupthestairs,IfI’mallowed. myheadisrestinginthemetalofthestairs. Iwasagi .Iwasacurse.
Godownthestairs,Ifthat'swhat deserve.
I‘lie’inthatstairwell.
Iwasacurse.NomatterwhatIdo
Willthecreatoracceptme?Oh.Makesme wonder.
Ishare‘lies’withthatstairwellforsome comfort.
OhmyGod.Iseriouslydiedonthe stairs.
Willthecreatorrejectme?Oh.Makesme wonder.
Blue
AmIblue?Howaboutyou?Areweblue? Youcan’twait.Gonow…Shoo!!You’llmakemefaint.
Ain’tthesetearsinmyeyes?Tellingyou
Wasittwo?Wasn’tmeandyou.Itwastoo. Betyoulikedthemtwo.Youain’tgotrestraint. AmIblue?Howaboutyou?Areweblue?
Ain’tthesetearsinmyeyes?Tellingyou Youhavenorighttomakeacomplaint. Youmademeblue.It'sbecauseofthem,too.
Doessheloveyou?DoIknowher?Who? No.Wait.Don’tyoutellme.GodIcouldfaint. AmIblue?Howaboutyou?Areweblue?
Youjusthadtoscrew,you,withthatcrew Youjustify.Youjustwait.You'renosaint. Ain’tthesetearsinmyeyes?Tellingyou
Ifeveryplotthatyouhadplannedfellthrough, Iwouldhavelovedyou,butshelookslate. AmIblue?Howaboutyou?Areweblue? Ain’tthesetearsinmyeyes,tellingyou?
Asthecommandofonedream
by Yuchen Liu ‘24
Myyouthhasn'tknown Thetasteofwine. Tillthislongnighttipsy Therainwas fine. Moonlightfalls,returningspring Parasolundergleams‘rosebling.’ Walkslower Slower.
ShouldseeHaiTanginthedeepestblue Thinnedtrees,myslumber.
Untitledby Lemiao (Chris) Wang ‘23
A Poem and a Screenplay by Taji Duncan ‘23
JustCureTheMan
Acureforaman, Wholiesill, frail, pale, wherehopesfail,
Isjusthalf, achocolatebar.
Justamorsel,whereitssweetnesssustains.
ACT1
DOORDASHFROMHELL
Writtenby
TAJIDUNCAN
INT.KHOA’SROOM-DAY
KHOAwalksinhisroomwithZACKbehindhim
ZACK
Brodoyouwannadotothegym?
KHOA Notnow,Itogetfood
ZACK
OhcanIhavesome,Iwillpayyou backlater.
KHOAshakeshishead
ZACK(CONT’D) C’mon—younevershare.
KHOA
BecauseIlovethefood.Iwantit.
ZACKleavesandclosesthedoorbehindhim.KHOAthen goesonhiscomputer.
CLOSEUPtoKhoa’scomputer
KHOAistypingonhiscomputerandordersdoordash.He ordersfromBurgerKingandgetsaBaconKingwith FriesandaDietCoke.
REVERSESHOTtoKHOA’seyesasheislookingatthe computerscreen.
ZOOMINtothephonenumberofthedasher.
CAMERATRACKSKHOAwhenhegetsup
Hethenwalksovertohisschoolbagandtakeshis homeworkout.
KHOAwouldthenbedoinghishomeworkforthe remainderofthetimeuntilhisfoodarrives.
CUTAWAYtotimeonhiscomputer
DISSOLVEStoupdatetime, Ohgod KHOA (CONT’D)
EXT.BACKDOOROFDORM-DAY
KHOArunstotheDoordashorderonthesteps
CAMERAPANStohisroom
INT.KHOA'SROOM-DAY
KHOAsetsthefoodonhisdesk.
CUTAWAYtoKHOAopeningthebagoffood.It’sempty.
ZOOMINtotheemptybaghejustopened
KHOAsitsdownnexttohiscomputer.
CLOSEUPtocomputerscreen.
KHOAtriestorefundhisorderbuthekeepsgetting declined.
CUTAWAYfromKHOAtypingtoKHOA’SEYEStothe declinedletter
KHOA(O.C.)(CONT’D) Thisisajokeman
KHOAnoticesthewriteyourdasherareviewandKHOA beginstosimileasheplaceshisfingersbackonthe keyboard.Hetypesthatthedasherwasathiefand thathedidn’thavethebriancellstogivesomeone thereorderontime.
MEDIUMCLOSEUPtoKHOAreadytosendthemessagebut hehesitatesabit.
ENDOFACT1 ACT2
KHOA(CONT’D) (confident) Screwit.
DISSOLVESfromwhatKHOA’stypingtohimselfsleeping inbed.
INT.KHOA'SROOM-NIGHT
KHOAthenwakesupandchecksthetimeonhisphone. KHOA (Exhausted) Mmmm.
KHOAgetsupfrombedandwalksovertohiscomputer
CAMERAfollowsKHOAtohisphone
KHOAnoticesthedashersendamessage
ZOOMINslowlytotheinboxonKHOA’SPhone
KHOAhesitatestoopenthemessageandheslowlyuses hisfingertounlockhisphoneandclickthemessage. Themessagesays“Iknowwhatyouwroteaboutme,and Iguaranteeyouwillgetsomepaybacksoon”
ZOOMINtoKHOA’spanickedface
KHOAplaceshishandsonhishead
KHOA
Whatisthis?
KHOAthentriestodeletethecontactfromhisphone inordertoreleasehecouldn’tgetridofit.
KHOAthenleavesamessageforthedasher
KHOA(O.S.)(CONT’D) Hellodasher,Ijustwantedtosay thatIamsorryforthereviewI wroteaboutyou,Iwasjustangry andIdidn’tknowwhatelsetosay aroundthattime.Therewasn’tany foodinthebagwhenIgotit,soI assumedyoutookmyorderandate it.
WhileKHOAistalkingonthephonehenoticeshowmuch timehasgoneby.
KHOA (CONT’D)
Ohum,bye
KHOAisrelieved,butthenseesthatthemessage couldn’tgothroughbecausethewifishutsoffat2AM
ZOOMINtotheclockturningtotwo
KHOAwalksaroundhisroomthinkingandthenrunsout ofhisroomandgoesdownstairs.
INT.ZACK’SROOM-NIGHT
KHOAknocksonthedoorbutitremainsunanswered. KHOAheopensthedoorabruptlyandstartlesZACK.
ZACK
Browhatdoyouwhat?
KHOA
Ineedtotalktoyou,its important.
ZACK (Annoyed)
BroIwanttogotosleep,letme gobacktosleepman,Ihavefirst blocktomorrowandIdon’twantto oversleep.
KHOA (Frightened)
Idon’tcarethisisimportant, someoneiscomingtoschoolforme.
ZACK (Confused)
What?Whatdoyoumeansomeoneis comingforyou?
KHOApullsouthisphoneandscrollstothemessage sentfromthedasher.
KHOA
Thismessagehere,thehesaidhe iscomingforme,togiveme payback.
ZACKstartslaughing.
KHOA(CONT’D)
Thisisn’tfunny,helegitis actuallycoming.
ZACK (amused)
Bro,that’sinsane.Bro,what?!
KHOA
StoplaughingwhatamIsupposedto do?
ZACK
Brojusttalktohimandsaythat youaresorryforthemessageand thatyouwilltakeitdown. ZACKstopshimself.
ZACK(CONT’D)
WaitIdon’tthinkyoucantake downdoordashreviews,justsay sorrytohim.
KHOA
Ican’tthewifiisdown
ZACK
ThengotoDOS... ZACKchuckles.
ZACK(CONT’D)
Orthecops...
KHOAbeginstoworryevenmore.
ZACK(CONT’D)
Dudedon’tworry,hedoesn’teven knowwhoyouareanyway,andheis notgoingtocommitanycrimesor something.
KHOAhuffsandwalksoutofZACK’sROOM.
ZACK(CONT’D)
Turnthelightoffwhenyougoout!
KHOAleavesthelightonandwalkstothecommonroom.
CUTAWAYtothedoordashapponKHOA’Sphone,he noticesthatthedoordashorderhasbeenreprocessed andthatthedasherisanhouraway.
KHOA
Thiscan’tberight.Howcanthisbe evenright?
CUTAWAYtoKHOA’Sroom
INT.KHOA'SROOMNIGHT
Hegrabsscissorsandplacesitinhispantsalong withsomespray.
KHOAthenstayssteadilybyhiscomputer.Rockingback andforthonhischair.ZACKthencomesin.
KHOA Ithoughtyouweresleeping.
ZACK
Iwas,thenyouwokemeup,bro.Are youstillscaredthatthedasheris coming?
KHOA Heis,look!
KHOAshowsZACKthetracker
ZACK Ohbro,what?
ZACKstartstolaugh
KHOA Idon’tknowwhattodo.
ZACK (sarcastically) Iwouldhideinmyroom.
KHOA
Whatever,justgo.Youaren’thelping. ZACKleaves,laughing.
CAMERAPANSfromleavingtoKHOAstaringathisphone cautiously
KHOAthenkeepsrefreshingthephonetoseeifthe orderwillstop.
KHOA
Comeon,thisisn’treal.
KHOAthenwalksdowntothecommonroomandopensthe blindstoseethecarsdrivingby.
KHOA(O.C.)(CONT’D)
C’mon!Thiscan’tbehappening!
INT.COMMONROOMNIGHT
KHOAlistenstothecarsdrivingbyandthenwalksto thedoor
CLOSEUPtoKHOA’sHandasheopensthedoor
EXT.CROSSWALK-NIGHT
KHOAgoesoutonthestreet,lookingbothwaystosee ifthedasherisgoingtocomeby.
CAMERATRACKSKHOAasheiswalkingacrossthestreet
KHOA
Hedoesn’tknowwheretogodoes he?
ZOOMINtoKHOA’Sphone.Itsaysthedasheris0to1 minutesaway.
KHOAlooksupandseesheadlightsinhisdirection
KHOA (CONT’D)
Crap!
KHOAthenrunsbackinside,andrunsupthestairs backtohisroomandhidesinhisbed.
CAMERAZOOMSINslowlytoKHOA’Sdoor
NothinghappensforminutesandKHOAthendecidesto walkout.Heseesthatthere’shisfoodonthesteps outsidewithanotesayingthatthedasherwassorry thatthefoodhegavewasn’tinthere.KHOAthen grabbedthefoodandopenedthebag.Therewasfoodin
therebutitmakesKHOAacheandmakeafacelikehe wantstopuke.
ENDOFACT2
INT.HALLWAY-NIGHT
KHOAwalkstoZACK’Sroomandopensittoleavethe doordashfoodinthere.
ACT3
KHOAthengoesbacktobedsmiling.
CAMERAZOOMOUTofKHOAandDISSOLVESTHROUGHDOORTO DOORTOOUTSIDEOFTHEDORM
ENDOFACT3
THEEND
elliott,annandphil
by Juliette Dutton ‘23
Heysohowwastheconcert?
Outforachange
Ohmygod!
Yepfarle
Yeahyeah
Youcamealongnow
Composed,I’llbewalkinginthesun Livingintheday
Andddd Uhisthatthelovelyday
Ohmygod,ohmygod
Lookatme,I’mtalkingtoyou
Phenomenal
It’sCalledaBlanket
by Anna Dámosy ‘24
Ifoundmyselfinthemostabsurdsituationthisfall, whenmyAmericanroommatesaid:“Youdon’tsleep withatopsheet?”“No,Idon’t”Ianswered,andjust watchedthehorroronherfacewhilesittingontopof mybed,withmatchingpj’sonandChinesetakeoutin myhands.“Butthenyoutouchthecomforter!”she said,andwhenmyreplyconsistedofnotknowing whatacomforteris,shejustrefusedtocontinuethe conversation.DayslaterIaskedmyHungarianmom, andsheagreedwithme,soImusthavebeenright.
ThingsYouCan’tControl
by Juliet Denman ‘24
Don’tbeashamedofthingsyoucan’tcontrol. Mytherapisttriestoremindmedaily ThatIcanlivemylifeandletthingsunfold.
AndIcan’tbeashamedoftheworldasawhole, Becauseyouwereinitandcomfortedme. “Don’tbeashamedofthingsyoucan’tcontrol.”
EverytimeIhearthisIwantto findaloophole, Gobackintimejusttokeepyoufree, Insteadofbeingtoldtojustletthingsunfold.
BecauseImissyouwithmyheartandsoul. Howdidyouleavewithoutthinkingofme? Don’tbeashamedofthingsyoucan’tcontrol.
Itsometimesfeelslikehittingapothole, Collidingwithatree,ordrivingintothesea, Andthenit’simpossibletojustletthingsunfold.
InmyheartIcanfeelyouplaythetitlerole. Becauseyourbeautyneverscaredme. Youfeltashamedofwhatyoucouldn’tcontrol. AndIstoodthereandjustletthingsunfold.
Four Poems by Fritz Wülfing ‘23
BELOW
Thelastsubway’sclosing,whatashame butthesubway’sstillaliveandwell,itmightnot havesandwiches,butitcanserveyouasanegative example,whatnottodotonotenduphere, w8holdonitisn’ttheirfault it’sthewaywedo,wetalk, interact it’showwecanstopthis,startthisinthe firstplace comingtogetheras 1it’sthewaywedo,wetalk,interact 2it’sthewayofthesubwayneverrest,connect andcross,Chicago’sfacilitator andwhenitstops,people jumpoff -letitbreathe, itneedsspacetoevolve itisundereverything.
ASPHALT
Chicagohasgreatstreets,doesn’tit? exceptforhumandirt sittingonacoldass street,keepingthe firealive themarshmallowssmellgood,butnoonehastime todeviatefromthedailyroutine foreveralonesurroundedbymillions lookingupintotheirfaces,noonereturnsthefavor belongstotheonesbornwithit thelotteryisharshandslim that’swhattheysay,hehitrockunderhisbottom,the asphaltiscoldandharshbut whenundergroundeverythingchanges,viewandfeel andsmell jumpthegates,everythingpossiblenodistinctiongo anywhere,waysareopenthe gatesareopenletit flood.
HOWTORAISEAFAMILY
She’satiteveryday,tryinghardtoshape sculpturesofherownkindtochange thecity,changeherlife-theydon’tmakeiteasyfor her,man gonefriends come,helpsomeandgoaretheyfriends? goingdown theredline thecenterrepelsherlikeasmellyfruit,foodgonebad still,shegoeseveryday,bringingJuantoschoolLucía torehearsalsinher decomposingBeetlegottalastsomemore,butit’s worththestruggle isn'tit?bybuildingfromherown fleshshebuilds somethingreal, animpact,acauseforaneffect thosepoorteachersintheirsmallasscarssupportthe cause,donateorit’syourfault.this institutionhereandthis facilityhereinneedyouneedtochoose,c’mon butallthosesweatylittleeducators educatorsidontknowthatword? skilledfriendsandhelpersintheirtightsuits,smelly fromthesubway,makeitpossibleunlockpotential criminals,offenders? judges,inventors?
Ourchildrenformus,weformourchildren weshapeourselves
divergence
Mathematics,awonderfulword,everything possible
didyoudefinethat?
solvingproblems,inequalities
Mathematicsislikepolitics,istheworld escapetheworldinit,howisthat possible
didyoudefinethat?
let’sdefine theTaylorSeriesofDeaths FromasinglepointofInfo
DoestheSeriesextend Tomagicallyunravel
Itsinfiniteends doesn’tthatsoundnice? itapproximatestherealworld
A r (15)= thenumbersmounttoinfinity,insomefunctions calamity
aprocessboundtoerr, Lagrange’serrorbound,hispointsofequilibrium stableL4,L5,taketheL,there’satrojan bulletspropelfamiliesoutoforbit
L1,2,3 killthemselves politicsishard,Nashwouldn’tbehappyhere morethanasinglepointofinfo butstillnoends opinionsconverge,butneverconvert divergencefromdiversion fastthinkingeverywhere
Untitled by Bridie Bolger ‘24
Three Poems by Maeren Hay ‘23
FrecklesandStars
Thestarsinthenightarealwaysthesame
Sometimesmisplacedbutalwaysshininglight Likethefrecklesonmyarmsandmyface
Whilemylifeischangingtheyalwaysstay
Inthedarknessofmyday,theyaresparklingwhite
Thestarsinthenightarealwaysthesame
Withexplodingheat,starsarebornintospace
Takingtheirplacefortherestofmylife
Likethefrecklesonmyarmsandmyface
Thesunwillshi ,themoonwillwaxandwane You’llforgetwhereyouareandloseyoursight
Butthestarsinthenightarealwaysthesame
Everythingchangesandhasmefeelinginsane
Theysprouttheirwingsandquicklytake flight Notthefrecklesonmyarmsandmyface
Thankyouforwhat’salwaysinthesameplace
ThankyouforthethingsthatIwon’tseedie
Likethestarsinthenightthatarealwaysthesame
Likethefrecklesonmyarmsandmyface
Already
Flowersarebloomingalready. UsuallyIgetajoltofhappinessthe Firstdayitfeelsandsmellslikespring. Notthistime. The flowerskeepblooming,forcingthemselves Throughthedirt.Notstoppingorwaiting Foranyone.
Literally,RightNow
Mylastassignedpoem,righthere,rightnow Packingupandleavinghangingovermyhead
Anhouruntilipreparetobecomeanalum
Theaderallisdoingitsjob:myworkisgetting done
AndIambuzzingwithproductivity. Iam,literally,rightnow,appreciatingmylasthigh schoolassignment.
Iam,literally,rightnow,aseniorsayinggoodbyetoall Iknow,
Knowingthatthereisbettercoming.Knowingthat thesearethelastdays— Literally,rightnow,thinkingofallthepeopleIneedto write
To.StaringatthelegosInever finishedbuilding. Iamliterally,rightnow,tryingtorememberwhatmy room,
Mylifefeltlikeinthoseotherthreeseasons. Iam,literally,rightnow,awareofthismoment,this passingsecond. Iam,literally,rightnow.
OurWorldisGettingTakenOverbyAI!
OrisIt?
by Oskar Umeh ‘24
Nowadaysyoucangoontheinternet,lookup “pictureAI”,andtypein“Spidermansittingonthe EiffelTowerholdingaturkeysandwich”,andwithin secondsyouwillbepresentedwithacompletely originalphotoofanimageclosetojustthat.Thishas beenmadepossiblebyrecentscientificbreakthroughs thathavepushedoursocietymuchfurtheralonginthe AIscene.Theexcitementarousedfrommovieslike AvengersAgeofUltronwhichonlycameouteight yearsagohasturnedintonervouslaughter.Ascrazyas itmayseem,thedayAItakesovertheworldiscloser thananticipated,orisit?Wehavearighttobeafraidof AIbecause,well,itcanperformmanytasksbetterthan humanscan,anditisjustgettingstarted.Also consideringwehavebeenthedominantracefor millionsofyearsitonlymakessensethatwefeelalittle resentfulwhenawebsitecanoutputmorecreative powerthanmostofuscan.ThissaidAIisjustthesame astheinventionofdepartmentstores.Beforepeople couldbuyclothesandothermodern-dayessentialsat storespeoplemadethem.Then,withindustrialization cameconsumerproducts,andpeoplecouldbuy
clothesandusethemuntiltheywereworn,andthen buynewones.Departmentstoressimplyreplacedan aspectofhumanlifewithamoresimpleprocesswhich isexactlywhatAIisdoingforusnow.AlbeitAIismuch morecomplexandIwilladmitsomeofthethingsit candoarealittlescary.However,therealityisthat peopledonotreallyknowwhatAIis,andtoremove someofthatfearweneedtodiveintothedefinitionof artificialintelligence.
AIisdesignedtomakedecisionsusuallywith real-timedata,anditdoesnotworklikepassive machinesinthatitdoesn'thaveapredetermined responseratheritcanchangeitsresponsebasedon data(West).Itwascreatedtocometoaconclusionwith instantanalysis.AIdifferentiatesfromprior technologybecauseitutilizesmachinelearning.A er anAIreceivesacertainamountofdataitlooksfor trends,andtakesthemintoaccountwhendoing analysis.Forexample,AIisusedintheschool applicationprocess.The finaltraitthatmakesAIso groundbreakingisitsadaptability.AIisabletochange ascircumstancesshi aswell.Duetomachinelearning theAIthenincorporatesthesechangesintoits algorithms(West).Whenlookingatthisdefinitionit
becomesmoreclearthatAIisatoolthatsimply performsatask.
LotsofpeopledescribeAIasamachinethat thinksoractslikeahuman,however,Idisagreewith thatstatement.IdothinkthatAIcanreplicatetheways humansthink,anditistruethatveryadvancedAIcan learnaswedo.ThissaidthewayanAIthinksversus howahumanthinksisinherentlydifferent.
Therewasonedayinmycomputerscienceclass whenweweregivenlinesofcodeandtaskedwiththe objectiveof figuringoutwhatthecodewasdoingto giveuserinput.Thecodeitselfwasverysimplebut thatisn’twhatmatters.Whatdoesmatterisacomment myteachermadewhenhelpingusto figureoutwhat thecodemeant.Hesaidsomethingalongthelinesof “ifyouthinkaboutthecodelikethecomputerwouldit willmaketheprocessaloteasier.Takethingsstepby stepandstoptryingtouselogicto findthesolution prematurely.”Whilemyteacherwasgivingusthis informationtoaidin findingasolutiontothecodeI tookittheotherwayandmadeadiscoveryabout humannature.Humansarealwaystryingto findthe
solutiontosomethingorlookingfortheanswertoa problem,whileamachinewillsimplycarryoutcode linebylinenotknowingorcaringwhattheoutcome willbe.
ThisiswherethedifferencebetweenAIand humanthoughtprocessescomesin,andwhatwillalso preventAIfromtakingover.AIsolelyreliesonthe informationitisgiven,anditdoesn'thaveasenseof reason.Thesethings,funnilyenough,arewhypeople considerAIsomuchmoreefficientthanhumans becauseitdoesnothavetotakeintoaccountpersonal connections,reasoning,andnegativeemotionswhich mightbetrueinasense.Thatsaiditistheseemotions andfeelingsthatallowustodifferentiatefromAI.
OnemightarguethatifAIcannotlearncertain humantraitsnowitwilllearnthemeventuallybecause itisalwayslearning,however,itcannotbecause humansarequiteliterallybuiltdifferentlythanAI. Forinstance,AIcannotreplicatehumanemotional intelligencebecauseitisrootedinphysicallybeing human.Emotionalintelligencerequiresadeep understandingoffeelingslikepainandsuffering,or happinessandpleasure.TheseareallthingsthatAI
cannotexperience.SoifallotherjobssuccumbtoAI dominationatleastitwouldnotreplaceyourtherapist. AIalsodoesnothavetheskillsforgroupworkofany kind.Takeaconferenceforexample.Duringa conference,manypeoplefromdifferentpositionsina givencompanyarepresenttodiscussorworkthrough anideaorproblemofsomesort.AIcouldnotreplicate thisatallbecauselikewithemotionalintelligencethe skillstoworkinagrouparefundamentallyabsentin anAI’ssystem.It’slikeifhumanstriedtolearnhunting frombears,sureabearcouldteachusitstacticslike sneakinguponitspreyorplanningtoattackatnight butwhenitboilsdowntoitwedon'thavethestrength orspeedtohuntlikeabear.Weareinherently differentandthusservedifferentrolesandhave differentcapabilities. AIisahumancreation,andthatisn'ttosaythat humancreationsarenotdangerous.Nuclearweapons, guns,anddrugsareallverydangerous,butallofthese things,AIincluded,aredangerousinthehandsoftheir creator.Simplyput,alloftheseobjectsneedusto becomeathreattous.I’msureifIwentbackintime andbroughtanAlexatoancientsocietytheywould thinkitwassomesortofgod.AIisscarybecauseitis
new,advanced,anddangerous,butonlydangerousin thehandsofitscreator.
AIcannotsurpasshumansevenasadvancedasit getsbecauseofthewayitthinks.AIisnotcapableof rationalthinking,itdoesnothaveemotional intelligence,anditisdependentonuserinputtolearn inthe firstplace.WhileIwasdealingwithavery simplecodeinmycomputerscienceclassthatday, whatIrealizedwasaninnatecharacteristicof machinesthatcanbeappliedatanylevel,anditisthe exactsamewithustoo.Thesimplethoughtprocess surroundingchoosingamovietowatchisinfluenced byourmoodifwe’veseenitbefore,andwherewe’re watchingit.Whenstudyingrocketscienceitisthe samestyleofrationalthinkingthathumansdivertto. Wehaveagoal,towatchamovie,thereforewemust pickoutthemoviebasedonX,Y,andZconditions.We haveanothergoal,buildarocketthatcansafelytakeus toandfromMars,thereforewemustconstructthe rocketconsideringX,Y,andZconditionsaswell. TheworldischangingandAIisjustapartofthat change.Weneedtoremaindiligentinourresearchon AIasitisnewandscary.Still,intimeAIwillactually
helpusevolveashumansbyopeningupnewjob opportunities,orbygivingusaccesstomuchhigher levelsofintelligence.
Asfaraswhatyouneedtodo,well,justlikewith anynewtopic,geteducated,andreadanarticleortwo aboutit.Itiswaytoonormalizednowadaysforpeople tobeignorantofimportanttopics,especially consideringhoweasyitistodosomesimpleresearch. LearnthatAIisjustanothertoolandwillnotinfact takeovertheworld.Realizethat“AIwillnotreplace you.SomeoneusingAIwill.”
Two Poems by Hugo Vilbois ‘23
Paradiddle
Whyareyousad?
Huh,I'mnotsad. Riverofthoughts, Justpaddleacross.
Buttherearecrocodiles! Butwehavepizza
Oh!That’strue! Andmusictoo. Goplaythedrumsthen. ButIhavehomework…
Noneedtogetahead, “Getoutofyourhead.”
One-e-and-uThat’sit,youwillfeelbetter. I’mnotasupset, ButwhydoIforget everytime
MonPère
TheysaywhenIwasyoungIcalledyou“Papa.” Mechanicaleyethatwinkedoneverytrip, YoucapturedallmysmilessoI’dremember Some fi eenyearsnowspenttoshapetherest.
Mechanicaleyethatwinkedoneverytrip, FromEuropetothewavesandburningsands, Some fi eenyearshavepassedtoshapetherest. Andthoughyou’rejustmachineIkeepyouclose.
FromEuropetothewavesandburningsands,
Memorieshavegrownandsodidyours. AndthoughyourjustmachineIkeepyouclose; Iwishmyeyescouldseethewayyoudid.
Memorieshavegrownandsodidyours; I’msavedbyallthephotographs. AndnowthatIcanseethewayyoudid, Thankyouforallyou’vedoneforme.
AndwhenIlookatallthephotographs
ThemanbehindthelenswhoIcall“Papa,” Thankyouforallyou’vedonewithme. Youcapturedallmysmilessowe’dremember.
A Story and Four Poems by Lívia Correia ‘23
APosthumousMemoirofanOldChild,or: God'sdream,or: AManifestofromNothing,or: MyMotherisNotYetBorn,or: ForgivingmyMurderer,or: OrSinfulAngel
“Societyo enforgivesthecriminal;itneverforgivesthe dreamer.”
-OscarWilde
–HespendsMondaymorningsinbed,hedoesn't havefamily,hedoesn'thavefriends,hedoesn'teven singthegloryofOurLord.Thisman,ladiesand gentlemen,deserves,attheveryleast,tobeexiled.
Hesaidthatasifhewasspittingonthe floor.IfI couldanswer,Iwouldcertainlysay:–Gentlemen,you aresickoftheeyes!Idon'tlivetogether,Idon'tbreathe collectively.Ionlysingmyownglory.Don'ttalktome aboutmorals,getyourLordoutofhere!Don'ttryto makemetaxable.I'mnot!Leavemealone!Iammy owncountry,ifyouwanttoexileme,killmeatonce. Ipreferredtoremainsilent.Ipreferredtosavemyself. Iknowmyrights.ButIalsoknowthey'renotwortha
crustofbread.SoIjustyawned.Irespondedattheir level.Theytalktoomuch,nicebigwords,dictionary words,andendupnottalkingatall.Theytookmy responseasdisrespect.Andforthatreasontheyhitme. Theyhitmetothepointwhereyoucouldn'tquitetell thedifferencebetweenmyeyes,nose,andmouth.I imaginedmyselftobethedarkcockroachesthatIhad repeatedlyexterminatedononeofmylasttripsto Madagascar.Iresembledahideous,repulsive cockroach.However,Iwasarightcockroach.That's whyIwrite.BecauseIwantjustice!BecauseI'mtired, absolutelytiredofthesemengettingawaywiththe barbaritiestheydo!
Forthesakeofmysafety,Iwillnotrevealmyreal nameinthisreport.Let'ssayIamacat,anuglyskinny cat,orevenbetter:donotimagineme.Justlistentomy voice.Iwilltellmystory.ThestoryofhowwrongedI was.HowtorturedIwas,myGod!Bythem.Theywho crossthelimitsoftheintimatepossessivenessthey havetoeachoneoftheirmembers.Theythinkthey owneverythingtheytouch.Ownersofeverythingthey determinetheirGodscreate.
Ifyou,whoarereadingthis,aretheexceptionof yourraceandhaveasanemindlikemine,youwill soonhavetoaskyourself:whointegratesonebesides oneself?Whycan'tIbetheonlyonetobepartof myself?A erspendingcountlessyearsattemptingto comprehendit,Iunderstoodthefollowing:what constitutesahumanareallthosewhosleepandwake upatthesamemomentthatJesuswasnailedtothe cross-afactthathasbeenrepeatedeverydaysincethe event,justasaprecaution(toserveasanexample).I'm anatheist,butIthinkthateverythingthatmakesup themanandthecountryisintrinsicallylinkedtothe deathofChrist,whichwasanaffronttohisfather,God (whohappenstonotexist)andhismother,Mary,who issleeping.I'llexplainthisbetter, first,letmetellyou whathappenedonDecember25,1871,Idon'tknowif outofirony,oroutofsheercomicalityofOurLord.
Iwasinsuchanintimatesleep,myantsdidn't evenexistandIwasformless,which,fromthe imaginativeneedofthosewhoreadme,Isuggestyou thinkofmeasabird.Afat,sleepybird.Ididn'twake up,Iwaswokenup.WheneverIthinkaboutit,arage risesinmethatstartsasaticklinginmyfeetandthat thenexpandsthroughmymusclestomyhead.The
men,inadditiontointerruptingmysleep,spoketoo loudly,almostscreaming."Thismanisaburdento society…",hetoldhissuperior,“…lookathim,lookat him.Hejustlivessleeping.Wakeup,youwretch! Disgustingbeing.Iknowyouhearme.React!”.I listenedtohim,listenedtoeverythinghesaid.IfonlyI couldanswer,myGod,ifonlyIcouldanswer.ButI can't.Ijustyawn.Andtheybeatme.Sometimesthey sendmetojail,butsoonthejudiciary,mycrustof bread,recognizestheinsanityofarrestingamanfor sleepingtoomuch.
Thistime,though,therewasnoway.Iwasforever arrested.Theyseteverythingup.Itwassneaky,they claimedIdiedfromsleepingtoomuch.Howabsurd! Andsocietydidn'tevencare(societyismadeofmen). Thewholeworldismadeofmen.OnlynowdoI realize,theworldissmall.Manissmall,withhissmall ideas,hisgoldenchains,hispoliticalspeeches,his libraryfullofmeaninglesswords,withhisdreamsthat don'tlastformorethan5years!Theydieevenbefore manisborn.Dreamsdieonaman'seminence:achild's understandingmakesitanoldman.It'sonlynowthatI realizethatwhatmotivatesmywritingisnotanger,it's nothate,it'snotjustice.It'spity!Pityforthechildren,
thepoorchildren.Iwasachildonce,youknow?AndI managedtodragitalongfor35years,theexceptionof myrace.UntilDecember25,1871,thedayofmydeath. Thedaytheypreventedthemiracle.Theywhowere alsochildrenanddreamt,butjustforgot.MyGod,only nowIrealize:Iwritetoremindthem.
“Oh,ma!”
Oh,ma!
I'msosorryIcalledyou
Onthattuesdaya ernoon
Itwasalreadydarkforyou
Icried
So,somuch
Myeyeswerered
Andyoucouldn'tdoanything
Iknewyoucouldn'tdoanything
ButstillIcalledyou
Ma,I'msorry.
Buttherewasthisday
ThatIsleptholdingthatpictureofus
Thatone
Thatwewereontheairport
Doyouremember,ma?
Whenwesaidgoodbye
Forthe firsttime?
Iusuallydon't
Buttoday
Idid
Becauseyou’renothere
AndImissyou
So,somuch
“Aworkerpassesbymarching”
Aworkerpassesbymarching; Stucktohisclass,andsometornclothes; A flowerwasbornonthestreet…
Wheredoeshego?Stomping… …likethat?aheadit'sallprose, Andwires,wires.Aworkerpassesbymarching
Theworkerdoesn’theartheopposingvoiceblustering IntheChamberofDeputies;Heonlynotices: A flowerwasbornonthestreet!
Makecompletesilence,paralyzebusiness,marketing… Trams,buses,cars,passfromafar.Pleasetakenotice! A flo…workerpassesbymarching
Thecolorisnotnoticeable.Thesmellisstillfading Thecitystinksofashes,missedwords.Whatisthe diagnosis?
Aworker?bornonthestreet?
Ohwait…Wasn’tita flower?Nolying. Diditbreaktheasphalt,thedisgust,thedailyhypnosis? Doestheworkerstillpassbymarching? A flower!Born!onthe…onthe…Street!!!
ATributetoClarice
Youdidn’tgivemethechancetowriteyouletters
Longliveyou!who’sstillalive
At fi ysix,tiedtoyourunwrittenfetters
Didheavenmakeyoudizzy?whenyouarrived?
LongliveClarice!whosewordsresoundasaprayer “IknowGod’saman,butIdon’twanttogetbeatup”, yousaid
Isthatwhyheavenmadeyoudizzy?
SometimesImissyoueventhough
IknowGod’saman
At fi ysix,tiedtohisunwrittenfetters
AndImissyouso,somuch,eventhough
Youdidn'tgivemethechancetowriteyouletters
TheImportanceofSilenceinPoetry: AReflectionon“ATributetoClarice”
Asoneofthe“smallbut fiercecultfollowing”of ClariceLispector,Ithoughtshewouldappreciate, whereversheisrightnow,thislittletributetoher.The pantoumstructuredefinitelysurprisedme.Ihadno ideawherethispoemwasgoingwhenIstartedwriting. Butthewaylines6and3 fittedsoperfectlytogetherin thethirdstanza,generatingsuchadeepreflection, mademerealizetheimportanceofwritingpoetryin differentways.Sometimes,tryingto fitapoemintoa mold,astructure,arule,isactuallywhatmakesitfree: thepoemseemstodrivethepoet.I,whowasbefore completelyagainstpoeticnorms,becomenowvery muchinfavorofit.
Iused“AnotherLullabyforInsomniacs”from StallingsasaparametertomakesureIwasfollowing thePantoumstructure.Ialsotriedtoimplementthe ABABrhymeschemesheusedinthe firstquatrain,but asthepoemstartedtodevelopitsownpaceand rhythm,Idecidedrhymeswereunnecessary.Still,I reallylikedtheway“fetters”and“letters”gavea musicalitytothepoem,justlikeStallingsdidwith
“linger”and“finger”.Thishelpedtoembraceanice rhythmwhenreadaloud.Also,eventhoughIrepeated thelines,Iimplementedvariationstothem,whichcan benoticedespeciallyinlines6and9,and3and10. ThatissomethingthatStallingsalsodidin Another LullabyforInsomniacs inlines16and19,and3and10.
AdeparturefromStalling'schoiceofwritinga five quatrainpantoum,Idecidedtosticktothree.Thisis because,despitethepoembeingshort,itispacked withliteraryelements,references,andanespecially rigorousstructure.Itriedtoapproachawritingstyle similartoLispector’s:dense,brief,enigmaticand unadorned.Bydoingthat,itisrealizedthatthevalue ofthewordsareactuallyinthesilencethat accompaniesthem,thereflection,andtherefore,the threequatrainsallowedmetowriteasilentbutdense poem.Theconstantclashbetweensilenceandwordsis exactlywhatmakesClarice’swritingsonotorious;the quote“IknowGod’saman,butIdon’twanttogetbeat up,”camefromoneofLispector’sshortstories.Similar reflectionsaboutthesametopiccanbefoundonone ofherlastbooks, PassionAccordingtoG.H.
Therefore,mypantoumhadtobebrief,short, almostasifitwaslackingsomething.Butwhatitlacks
isexactlywhatIcan’tsay:mysilences.JustasLispector said“whatIcan'tsayismoreimportantthanwhatI say”,“hearme,hearmysilence”oreven“my unbalancedwordsaretheluxuryofmysilence”(1).
Inconclusion,theexperienceofwritinga pantoumwasimpressivelyeye-opening.Itmademe realizetheimportanceofnotonlywritingpoetry,but alsodoingitindifferentways,waysthatmayseem weirdandpointlessat first.IamalsogladIcould expressmyadmirationforClariceLispectorinsuchan unexpectedway.Bydoingthat,Iexercisedlisteningto mysilences,thethingsIcan’tsayandlettingitdrive mypoeticvoice.
“IhavethecouragetoconfrontGod”
IhavethecouragetoconfrontGod Whosenameandface
Idon'tremember Hissilencedoesn'tscareme
BecauseImakemusicwithmywords Evenif They Are All mute.
Contributors
BridieBolger
VivianBoucher
LíviaCoreia
TajiDuncan
AnnaDámosy
JulietDenman
JulietteDutton
AvaGleason
MaerenHay
TheodoraHowe
YuchenLiu
JenniferMacler
AudreyRichards
AriaTrotta
JosephShaker
OskarUmeh
HugoVilbois
ThomasVo
LemiaoWang
ChristianWood
FritzWülfing
SpecialthankstotheEnglishandArtDepartments forassistancewiththispublication. Forbackissuesofthe StrayShot,goto https://www.frederickgunn.org/student-life/student-publications
FacultyEditor:Mr.Visentin
