Emotions & Emoticons

N A D I A L A Z A - COLUMNIST E M O T I O N S A N D E M O T I C O N S : T H E C R Y P T I C L A N G U A G E O F LOVE IN A DIGITAL AGE

What I’m about to say could be a cue to roll your eyes or if you kept reading, it would perhaps make you consider adding some more nuance to your facial expressions and to the rendering of your emotions overall: we are a few posts away from Valentine’s Day. I do not plan on building a story on the legend of Saint Valentine and I will not attempt to give a short history of what lies behind our obsession for heart-shaped memorabilia, rivers of chocolate and millions of roses. My attention has been sparked by the phrase ”special occasion” – almost every Valentine’s Day suggestion is introduced by the phrase ”on this special occasion”. What is a special occasion? The implication is that ”special” equals ”impressive, astounding”. But does a special, lovely gesture have to be astounding or even impressive? I have often found myself unconsciously adorning and extracting a specific frame from my reality to match my internalized standards – that is how personal content takes shape online 20NEWS MAGAZINE

. I do not think we should plunge from one extreme to the other (is there such a thing as balance in the online world?), and desperately try to display reality as it is, but shouldn’t we cast ugliness as well? Forget about the aesthetics of ugliness, what about the mundane, what about simplicity and genuineness? I am by no means saying that we shouldn’t go over the top with our choices, if that is what we are comfortable with, what I am rather saying is that I think the core value of a gesture is not necessarily materially sustained. Suppose we have all the required ingredients, the gift is all set, our Valentine elated, we have the perfect picture... we must come up with a description for it all. Tap, tap, tap, here goes the text! Tap again, add an emoji! As complex human beings, we embody and display a wide range of contrasting emotions and our keyboards bear no less ample a range. Emoticons, emojis, stickers... Now coming back to emotions. This much ado to simply ask you: how many smiles take shape along with those little, sunny-yellow faces that we expediently and haphazardly (at times) send? Have we truly had a hearty laugh? Have we had our faces bathed in tears of joy? What about our mien? Is it unmovable or does it shift from emotion to emotion when texting? We easily pick up emojis from a list, but if we were to go over a personal inventory of real-life emotion, how bold is the range of colors in which we have displayed them? Are we truly in touch with our emotions? We could, perhaps, dare draw a heart on a piece of paper and hand it out... but what if we dare draw it into the heart of our beloved? How do we do that? Being, sometimes, is doing and here comes the revolution of it. It begins with taking out a love-threading conversation into the real world. That would perhaps involve the ”seen” status on a message – I am not suggesting that you should generate a bout of anxiety, as the ”seen” status has become the most frightening and hurtful online scenario – but have you ever considered mirroring back some of these lovable emoticons into the real world and not vice versa? Start with a smile and don’t just go with the plain, simple one, opt for the sticker version of it! Make it big and wear it proudly on your face. At the end of reading this, I wouldn’t want anyone to feel guilty for doing any of the above, but what I would like instead is for everyone to feel a gentle release from the contortionist pressure and imagined luxury of social media and become more aware. While trying to figure out a ”special” way of doing things, while coming up with an impressive plan and an astounding Valentine’s Day gift, what if you were reminded that there is something special in your very presence and the way you carry yourself? Wrap up the gift, whatever it be, in your energy, settle it within a state of presence and simplicity of feeling. Be present the moment, live it, observe and listen – that is how being becomes doing. Make use of what already is there. Love in itself is special and for you to be able to share it with someone else, here and now, is all the more special. Lastly, going back to the phrase ”special occassion” – the care, emotion, thought and action (of being and doing) put into bringing someone joy and the passionate joy that emerges through, that richness of feeling, lies at the very foundation of the meaning of the word ”special”- that makes the occassions limitless. If love is measured in gestures, let us make sure that an indelible part of our romantic gestures entails our authentic presence and essence. This Valentine’s Day, I urge you to disconnect from the internet and stay emotionally connected! Whatever you decide to do, whether you choose to share it online or keep it to yourself, pour your heart and love into it! Live love beyond its digital measurements and pixelated expressions. Love with all your heart and be present in your life and in the lives of those around you. ‘The ”seen” status has become the most frightening and hurt- ful online scenario’