A DEPRESSED INTROVERT’S GUIDE TO SOCIAL INTERACTION

By Luke Zounis

Now that restrictions are being slowly lifted and life is getting back to normal, people are beginning to socialise with each other again as the corona thingy is easing up. In light of this, I have decided to write a brief guide for my fellow introverts to get back in the swing of things. Catchups with more than one person at a time, meeting new people, and interactions with waiters and cashiers are all anxiety inducing activities, and a little bit of helpful advice can go a long way.

1. Law School Interactions Really this category can be broken up into a fair few sub-categories. Pre-lecture chats, awkward run-ins with an old group member, seeing that one flog with a funny face you never liked but haven’t spoken to yet are all valid concerns for an introvert to have. The best advice here is to make sure you’re at uni during off-peak hours. Watch any lectures necessary from home (or just don’t watch them at all), and schedule seminars as late as possible to avoid the most people. This way you won’t have to be on campus when everyone else is and can adequately deal with the lower number of people you don’t speak to.

2. Ordering Your Food/Coffee It is such a hassle when the workers asking you for your order don’t understand your mumbling sentences the first two times and ask you to speak louder and clearer. This can be avoided through a law school approved process of pre-written answers. Simply hand the worker a note detailing everything you want, and you won’t have to speak at all.

3. Sitting in your internship interview Now this one is a biggie. It’s your future after all. There can be a lot of internal stress having to explain why your GPA is too terrible to get an actual job and defend why you’re yet to drop out of law school. They’re going to ask you a lot of questions, and the best thing you can do is talk as much as you can about anything but what they’ve asked you. The more you talk the less likely they’ll suspect you of being an introvert after all.

4. Stuck at the lights with a pretty girl in the car next to you and you don’t know how to act or what you should be doing. Like seriously what is it that normal people do at the lights?!?!? This one is the Real Big Question. I genuinely have no advice and will take any submissions from Hilarian readers as to what I should be doing here. This issue has been bugging me since I got my P plates and every single time it happens, I turn into a mopey spud with ADHD. I’ll either fidget with everything or stare vacantly at the traffic ahead with my mouth wide open. Seriously someone please help me.