The Holistic Parent - Summer 2018

E ou E hy R w it F e me

k Ta

T H E

!

MIND ...

B O DY ...

SPIRIT

A celebration of bodies, beauty and joyful self-love as a way to break down barriers for the next generation

UPCOMING EVENTS Made In Canada: Fall Edition

Etsy Holiday Market

September 29

November 24

Kitchener City Hall 200 King Street West Kitchener, Ontario

RIM Park – Forbes Hall 2001 University Ave. E. Waterloo, Ontario

For more information, visit www.etsywaterlooregion.com

UPCYCLED UNPAPER PRODUCTS

for your everyd a y us e

upcycledcreationscad.etsy.com

Modern Aromatherapy Jewellery to compliment your spirit for wellness Sterling Silver, Gold and Rose Gold Filled Chains now available

foxandbearessentials.etsy.com

REGUL ARS

EDITOR’S NOTE Why Body Positive?

PAGE 4

CONTRIBUTORS Meet the people who made this issue awesome PAGE 6

COLUMNS

MIND Beautiful Boundaries PAGE 8

BODY Positive Parenting PAGE 10

SPIRIT Pushing Pause PAGE 12

FEATURES

JOY OF MOVEMENT

BY SAMANTHA GERMANN

Reevaluating our reasons for exercise PAGE 16

SPACE TO MOVE

BY DANA ROURKE & SUZANNE DIETRICH

A celebration of body-inclusive movement spaces PAGE 19

UNCONDITIONAL SELF-COMPASSION

BY SYDNEY BELL

Combating the body image and self-esteem trap m

E u!

E yo R e with

ke

F

Ta

T H E MIND ...

PAGE 22

B O DY ...

SPIRIT

FEEDING YOUR SOUL

M A G A Z I N E

BY SUZANNE DIETRICH

Intuitive eating means fun, freedom and choice PAGE 24

BODY REBEL

BY DANA ROURKE

A celebration of bodies, beauty and joyful self-love as a way to break down barriers for the next generation

HolisticParent_Summer2018_Cover_02.indd 1

2018-05-14 1:15 PM

ON THE COVER The cover image features six local women (and four adorable children) who answered an open model call.

To see more about the cover shoot, check out page 7.

theholisticparent.ca

Taking back your body through radical self-love PAGE 27

FAT

BY BETH MURCH

Not chunky nor fluffy, just plain fat PAGE 30

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

3

UP FRONT | EDITOR’S NOTE

Why Body Positive?

Volume 04, Issue 03 | Summer 2018

Story by ELAINE KAPOGINES

4

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

PUBLISHER | EDITOR Elaine Kapogines elaine@wiltshiremedia.ca ART DIRECTION

www.madebyemblem.com Erik Mohr (Creative Director) P H OTO BY J E N N I F E R LYO N P H OTO G R A P H Y

The need for this conversation was punctuated for me by the flood of applications I received for the open model call we hosted for the photo shoot. Realistically, I was just hoping for a few submissions; instead I got over 40. My inbox was quickly overwhelmed with photos of beautiful woman — and words I will never forget. “My teenage girls are often teased for being the tallest in their class and for having big feet.” “I’m a mom of a 6-year-old daughter who’s already said ‘fat thighs’ and ‘fat belly.’” “I have had a tough time recognizing my appearance as that of an athletic person because I just don’t look like a typical runner.”

But what really struck a chord with me were the women we were not able to include in the shoot. One in particular rang in my ears: “I’ve had a hard time learning to love my body, which most people wouldn’t think because I seem to have an ‘ideal’ body type: skinny. But I was always teased growing up (sometimes still am!) because of how thin I am. I’ve lied about my weight and tried to laughed off the mean comments, but I’ve also gone home and Googled ‘how to gain weight’ just to try and fit in. It’s taken years for me to not feel guilty about my size. And the truth is we feel the same shame.”

The applicants ranged in size from 0 to 26, and everything in between. Too fat. Too skinny. Too saggy. Too many stretch marks. Hips too small. Muscles too big. It seems that simply by virtue of being a woman no matter what size or shape, we are just “too much” — or not enough. And no matter how “ideal” your body appears on the outside, the truth is that practically no one is immune to these feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy or shame. My heart breaks to think that this is what these beautiful women think about themselves.

However, through conversations and research for this issue, a clear distinction started to become evident: internalized insecurity about our bodies is a much different issue than societal bias and discrimation. It’s well documented that those living in larger bodies “don’t fit.” Our world just isn’t made for them. People are so scared of fatness that industries have an easy job of exploiting those fears to sell their products and services.

Our societal hatred of fat not only affects the mental health of a large-bodied person, but the physical health as well. Weight stigma in healthcare is known to negetively impact the quality of care and outcomes “obese” patients — that to me is terrifying.

In 2018, this is our reality. But what if our daughters could walk into a midwifery clinic and not be turned away simply because of their “high BMI.” Or they could see their primary care provider and not be told all their ailments could be cured by losing weight.

Or that promises of “bikini bodies” and “pre-baby weight” and “a whole new you” are relicated to the pages of our history books. Where they can go to a fitness class just because they love it, and not as a way to be “fixed.” Where food is fun, movement is joyful and life is as beautiful as they are. This is why I published this issue. The cycle of negatively needs to be broken. I want to pass on my love of books, my quirky sense of humour and my hatred of pop music — not my biases, insecurities and fears.

Ian Sullivan Cant (Associate Art Director) Mantej Rakhra (Graphic Designer) Sally Tan Soriano (Production) ADVERTISING DESIGNER

Elizabeth Wise PHOTOGRAPHER

Julia Busato CONTRIBUTORS

Sydney Bell, Suzanne Dietrich, Dr. Jen Forristal, Samantha Germann, Bina Moore, Beth Murch, Dana Rourke, Nicole Schiener PROOFREADER

Lesley Wiltshire

PUBLISHED BY

The Holistic Parent magazine is published four times per year. All rights reserved.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher © 2018 Copies are available for free at one of our 75+ community partners in the Waterloo Region, Wellington County and surrounding areas.

Visit theholisticparent.ca for a list of distributors.

ISSN 2368-6790 Publications Mail Agreement No. 42845523

theholisticparent.ca

UP FRONT | CONTRIBUTORS

SYDNEY BELL is a counsellor and body positivity advocate. Her work is grounded in the Health at Every Size approach to weight and health. Sydney believes that by providing spaces to challenge oppressive beauty and health paradigms and instead promote body diversity and radical self-love, we can turn the tide against rampant body dissatisfaction and the negative health outcomes that go with it.

Sydney currently resides in Kitchener with her partner Jon, two dogs and a cat. You can find resources and learn more about her work at sydneybell.ca. Find Sydney’s inspirational article Unconditional SelfCompassion on PAGE 22.

JULIA BUSATO is known for her work promoting body positivism. Based in Guelph, she is an internationally published photographer whose focus is on boudoir and artistic nudes. She has been using her camera for the last 12 years to capture the beauty she sees in the world. She is a proud mother of two children and has instilled in them her belief that there is beauty in everything. She is thankful for the opportunities that have come her way to allow her to share her vision and bring beauty and body positivism to others. Her reward is seeing the reaction of those she photographs when they realize the beauty they hold. See Julia’s work throughout this issue, including the cover image and all images in the body positive features. It was a true honour working with Julia for this project.

SUZANNE DIETRICH is a non-diet registered dietitian and the proud owner of Waterloo-based Gut Instincts Nutrition Counselling (gutinstincts.ca). She works with people of all ages and sizes who want to develop a better relationship with food and their bodies by moving away from diet culture. This includes people of all ages and sizes. She is grateful to be a mom of two very energetic boys. Suzanne was one of the lead contributors to this issue. Her article Feeding Your Soul on PAGE 24 focuses on intuitive eating and breaking the cycle of diet culture. She was also instrumental in creating the feature Space to Move on PAGE 19.

SAMANTHA GERMANN is the owner and operator of Samantha Lynn Wellness, a private, holistic personal training studio that challenges the “shoulds” that have been spread throughout the fitness world. Samantha is a CPTN-certified personal trainer that has been working in the field for four years, focusing on using strength training as a means to support folks as they deepen their connection to their body. Samantha Lynn Wellness (facebook.com/samanthalynnwellness) fosters an environment that encourages self-compassion as people discover new potential. Samantha’s article Joy of Movement on PAGE 16 will challenge the way you view fitness, exercise and movement.

BETH MURCH is a village wyse womyn, radical reproductive justice activist, full-spectrum birth worker and internationally competing spoken-word artist (bethmurch.wordpress.com). When she isn’t chanting down Babylon, dancing naked in the rain or calling little Buddhas forth from the womb, she is creating and disturbing peace with her literary craft, which draws upon themes of social justice, sexuality, nature, spirituality, loneliness and feminism. Beth’s passions include placentae, memento mori, cat memes, herbalism and religious kitsch. In her spare time, she enjoys baking bread, painting pictures of goddesses and learning to knit. Beth’s contribution to this issue is immeasurably important and beautiful — check out her piece Fat on PAGE 30.

DANA ROURKE is the founder of Reclaiming The Wild (reclaimingthewild.com). Combining radical self-care, yoga, Body Trust wellness and a non-diet, weight-inclusive approach, Dana’s clients begin to make peace with food and their body through her workshops, group programs and one-on-one sessions.

Working with individuals who struggle with binge-eating disorder, orthorexia, disordered eating, chronic dieting backlash, compulsive exercise and negative body image, she uses her training to help her clients learn to turn towards themselves with kindness. Dana was the lead contributor to this issue. Her article Body Rebel on PAGE 27 provides practical tips for healing your relationship with your body. She was also instrumental in creating the feature Space to Move on PAGE 19.

6

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

THE

BEHIND

SCENES

SIX WOMEN, FOUR KIDS, AND A TEAM OF SUPER-TALENTED PROFESSIONALS TURNED POTENTIAL CHAOS INTO A TOTAL SUCCESS For more Behind the Scenes photos and to learn more about our contributors, check us out on Instagram @holisticparentmag

Art direction was provided by Erik Mohr and Ian Sullivan Cant from Made By Emblem.

And the entire shoot was coordinated by publisher Elaine Kapogines.

Photos by JENNIFER LYON PHOTOGRAPHY (jennydoesstuff.ca)

Hair and make-up was provided by Morgan Minnick and Samantha Hutton of Hybrid Hair & Detox Spa.

The body positive artwork was all shot by Guelphbased photographer Julia Busato on location at Monigram Coffee Roasters in Cambridge.

All the women were wearing clothes from Maurices in Cambridge, and styled by wardrobe consultant Christina Proctor of Waterloo-based Wear Out There.

Our 10 brave models were selected through an open model call faciliated through our social media. A huge thank-you to our models: Erin Hellewell (Olive, 4, and Fern, 2), Megan Haddad, Danyel Kemp (Harrison and Lillian, 1), Lisa Reid, Siyobin Blanco and Denise Coleman.

MIND | MINDFUL MOMMA

BEAUTIFUL BOUNTARIES Shifting away from the ‘ disease to please’ Story by NICOLE SCHIENER

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brené Brown

S

o many of us have been taught that saying no, setting limits or declining an invitation or a request is impolite or even mean. Women internalize the message that our relationships will suffer if we don’t make everyone around us happy, or at least try. No wonder maternal mental health concerns have been steadily rising as women try to be everything to everyone, inside and outside the home. Striving to please others by sacrificing my needs and pushing past my limits did damage to my physical and emotional health. Shifting away from this “disease to please” hasn’t been easy. It has been a long process of moving from feeling overwhelmed to worried and guilty about disappointing others to eventually feeling free. Deepening into the truth of how much family, friends and my clients actually benefit the more I maintain my boundaries has led to improved health, richer connections and more joy overall.

Setting and sticking to our boundaries can and will have huge implications on our relationships. Things can get messy. This is because, as Harriet Lerner describes in her classic book, The Dance of Anger, we are inviting people into a new and unknown dance.

Because it’s unfamiliar, it often triggers anxiety and the “change back” reaction, where they invariably step on our toes or try to pull us down when they fall. It helps to validate the other person’s anxiety, hurt, frustration or disappointment, but we don’t have to take responsibility for their feelings. We can pull them closer to help regain balance and affirm

8

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

take away ...

As much as we can attempt to convince ourselves that other people’s needs and feelings are more important than ours, our soul knows otherwise.

our love while recognizing that it’s not our job to hold them up. We must hold our ground in this uncharted territory. Sometimes we will need to let go so they don’t take us down with them.

Although you may be terrified to say anything for fear of rocking the boat, what is actually more dangerous is the resentment that can fill up inside the boat. Unless it’s an abusive relationship, love and mutual respect often permeate when we are in control and stating what we need or won’t tolerate calmly rather than letting things build up and eventually boiling over in aggressive anger. Family and friends are not mind readers. They don’t know we’re tired, we’ve been battling a headache, we feel overwhelmed or lonely or underappreciated unless we tell them. They don’t know how much our soul craves solitude. We can’t expect our partners to just know how huge of a difference it makes if they unload the dishwasher, throw that extra load of laundry in or do more with the kids. These little things become big things that affect our emotional and physical well-being and threaten the quality of our relationships when we try to stuff our needs down, minimize or ignore them.

As much as we can attempt to convince ourselves that other people’s needs and feelings are more important than ours, our soul knows otherwise. Our body is the wise messenger of the soul and you may find yourself getting sick or burning out in its attempt to say “enough is enough.” It’s not our job to make others happy. Affirming our worth to ourselves and others comes from saying no. Raising children who learn that respecting others does not mean sacrificing ourselves comes from holding our boundaries. If we want our children to truly love themselves and to honour their right to physical and emotional safety, we must teach them the truth about boundaries.

NICOLE SCHIENER is a registered psychotherapist,

soulful writer and public speaker. She is the proud mama of two passionate little people, 7 and 10 years old. Find her poetry and inspiration on Facebook at “Peace and Possibility.” Follow along on her conscious parenting journey on Instagram @mindfulmama_nsm.

theholisticparent.ca

Helping you make peace with food • Intuitive Eating • Disordered Eating • Eating Disorder Recovery • Food Allergies • Registered Dietitian services are covered by many extended health care benefit plans • Health At Every Size® advocate

Suzanne Dietrich, Registered Dietitian

gutinstincts.ca | 226.808.7583 | Uptown Waterloo - 33 Dupont St. E, Waterloo

theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

9

BODY | PARENTING

POSITIVE PARENTING Favourite strategies for all the moms and dads take away

Story By DR. JEN FORRISTAL

A

s founder of the Umbrella Project, I spend my days waist-deep in parenting research. Everything from the fuzziest, happiest stories to the hardhitting scientific research crosses my desk daily. I get asked a lot about my own parenting style, so here are two of my favorite parenting strategies. I use these daily and get to see their positive effects first hand.

No matter what coping skill you are hoping to build, these tips will help you get there.

Make these a trend in your daily routine.

...

There is no more powerful input in your child’s development than what they see you do.

Here’s why that won’t work for your child’s long-term happiness: they are watching you! There is no more powerful input in your child’s development than what they see you do. If you want your child to be positive and have some fun in this crazy and challenging world, you must show them how. If you sacrifice all of your joy for others, they will most likely do the same when they grow up.

So take a deep breath and laugh! Be silly! Let go of the details that don’t matter! Dance, sing, tell jokes, surround yourself with great people and show your child what joy looks like. It will rub off on them and create more well-being benefits than you could imagine. Parenting is a tough enough job already. You need all the fun you can get!

2. INDIVIDUALIZED PARENTING

1. HAVE SOME FUN!

This is number one on my list. Let me tell you why. When we are in a positive and relaxed mood, lots of great things happen in our brains. First, we become more flexible and open to new ideas. This allows us to explore the things that might be a little outside our comfort zone, widening what we can tolerate and reducing anxiety.

Second, our brain naturally selects moodcongruent memories for us. This means that when we are in a good mood, our brains will help us think of successful memories. When we are in a low mood, we will think more often of our failures. This has a huge impact on whether we believe in ourselves when we face challenges, and this is an important piece of building self-efficacy. A little bit of joy also helps our relationships and can spread to the people around us — and these are only a few of the many benefits we accrue with a joyful mood.

While it’s clearly beneficial for our kids to have some fun, this tip is intended for parents. All too often, I see parents working hard to make sure their child is OK, that they are well, succeeding, and having a good time — while neglecting their own joy and well-being.

10

THE HOLISTIC PARENT

Summer 2018

If we want our children to thrive, it’s time we do away with a one-size-fits-all approach. We need instead to see our kids for the incredibly unique people they are. No two of us are alike and yet we somehow cling to a common set of standards that we want to measure everyone by.

Much of the damage to children’s feelings of self-worth comes from trying to live up to society’s highest expectations instead of learning how to master their own unique brains. Pay attention to your child as an individual: what subjects do they love, what helps them concentrate, what are their strengths, what do they need to feel balanced, happy, and whole? Make these things what you celebrate in your child.

You would be surprised how much what you think as a parent matters to your child, even if they pretend it doesn’t. Help guide them to feel proud of their own unique selves and to use personal growth and effort as their goal instead of living up to others.

The healthiest, happiest adults aren’t trying to be the best at everything. They focus their energy on the intersection of what they love to do, what they excel at, and where they can give back. When we use an individualized approach to parenting, our children will ultimately try new things without worrying about how they will measure up. They will follow their dreams. They will even have a better chance of accepting themselves, imperfections and all. This is a perfect recipe to give your child for future happiness and success.

DR. JEN FORRISTAL is a naturopathic doctor specializing in family medicine and pediatrics. She practices at True Wellness Integrative Health Centre by Fiddleheads in Kitchener. mydrjen.com

theholisticparent.ca

Summer Art Camp at The Clay & Glass!

Children ages 7 to 11 years old can join us for a funfilled week of creativity with clay and exciting mixed media projects! In this program, clay sculpture is the feature activity with a variety of new projects – both functional and sculptural.

Camp runs from 9:00am to 4:30pm with no-charge extended care from 8:15 to 9:00am and 4:30 to 5:30pm.

Cost: $240/participant (10% discount for Gallery members) Six weeks of camp to choose from, including one week of French camp. Week 1 begins July 9.

Visit our website for dates and to register: theclayandglass.ca/camps Canadian Clay & Glass Gallery

25 Caroline St. N. Waterloo, ON N2L 2Y5 519.746.1882 • www.theclayandglass.ca

CUSTOM HAND LETTERING logos wall murals chalkboards personal art live lettering at events @wiselettering | wiselettering.com

theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

11

SPIRIT | LOSS

PUSHING PAUSE Supporting a loved one through infant and pregnancy loss Story by BINA MOORE

A

s the recipient of The Holistic Parent and Home Hospice Association (HHA) scholarship in December 2017, I was offered the opportunity of a lifetime to attend and participate in the Infant and Pregnancy Loss Doula Program this past February. Throughout the training, one of the major challenges I reflected on was building community capacity and individual confidence supporting a loved one through a loss. My hope through reading this article is for you to gain a few insights that will help your journey alongside your loved ones.

Miscarriage, preterm, infant, and stillbirth losses can be painful to talk about. The dance between acknowledging a loved one’s loss, reading a loved one’s cues, and assessing timing and location of a potential conversation is difficult. There’s a lot to consider, thus, I ask you to consider “pressing pause” to reflect on the following as a guide to having more meaningful and supportive interactions with those you are trying to support.

ALLOW GRIEF

Upon learning of a loss, expressions of sorrow are imperative. Allowing the grieving parents to know there is in fact someone out there that does care and actually wants to know how you are doing is really comforting. This can be done by inviting the grieving parents to have a safe person to confide in and a safe place to be authentic.

Perhaps sitting and creating the space for your loved one to cry, display anger, stare out of a window, etc. is your next step.

SILENT ENCOURAGEMENT

Say nothing. A grieving loved one may need to know they are not alone, and that they

12

THE HOLISTIC PARENT

Summer 2018

take away ...

Press pause on your day in order to be present in whichever way you feel most comfortable.

don’t need to talk about their grief, conceptualize it, or explain it because maybe they haven’t begun to process their loss, what happened to them, or their bodies at all. If stuck or unsure, provide an expression of sorrow (i.e. “I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I am here for you”). Acknowledge in a text, phone call, or email that you are thinking about them, and be sure to name the child by saying the child’s name. Provide compassion, don’t minimize your loved ones pain, and keep the “why” theories to yourself.

KNOW YOUR LIMITS

Creating a healing/safe space for your loved one really is the first step, but I invite you to “press pause.” What are your limits? What are you capable of handling? If sitting with discomfort in the presence of a difficult conversation is causing you to shift out of a supportive role, consider the following instead: offer a service such as providing food or snacks or assisting with occupying the family’s other children, or offer to support with household chores. If the emotional support is difficult, that is OK, you can show support in other ways.

OFFER CONNECTION

What else can you do? Gather information and reach out to experts.

Connect a loved one to a grief community specific to their loss, a bereavement support group, a spiritual community or a specialized counsellor. If your loved one is willing, offer to attend the initial session as a support person.

No matter what stage of loss, it is important to remember grief is activated differently person-to-person. There will be good days and bad, a loved one will oscillate and that will be challenging. So, be courageous and “press pause” on your day in order to be present in whichever way you feel most comfortable. Reach out, be consistent, and create a space that invites safety.

BINA MOORE is a registered social worker and owner of Embrace Counselling Services. She is also a candidate for the Infant and Pregnancy Loss Doula Program with HHA, and a labour doula student with DOULAs Inc. embracecounsellingservices.com

theholisticparent.ca

An RESP as flexible as you need it to be.

Looking for more flexibility in a Registered Education Savings Plan? Well, you just found it. Ask how our Flex First Plan gives you the level of choice you need.

M�n�i�� ��i� a� t� �e� �

COOL AS A CUCUMBER FACIAL for only $85

Reg. $110

T�� ��r�ec� ������ fa�i�� �ea����n� ��� C����n� Cu������ Ma�� t� ���y�ra�� + s���� ���, ��n�i���� ���� .

Heather Heartfield | (519) 841-3093 | heather.heartfield@kff.ca

Pure + Simple | 1-42 Bridgeport Rd. E., Waterloo ON, N2J 0B3 | 226.647.5042 | @PureandSimpleKW ONLINE BOOKING NOW AVAILABLE at www.pureandsimple.ca | *Offer valid until 31/08/18

Do you or someoNe you love NeeD support?

Our Counselling Services

• Play Therapy • Art Therapy • Anxiety & Depression • Couples & Relationship Issues • Grief & Loss • Addictions • Self-Esteem Issues • Trauma & Abuse • Pet-Assisted Therapy • Life Purpose & Life Meaning No wait list • Always confidential

glebecentre@wlu.ca | glebecounselling.ca 519.884.3305 | 177 Albert St., Waterloo N2L 3T4 A community service provided by Waterloo Lutheran Seminary.

theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

13

handmade

IN A TOWN YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF

Unique + modern gifts and goods handmade in Canadian towns with populations less than 30,000 people.

Yoga. Simplified.

A down-to-earth yoga studio with classes for all levels.

200-hour Yoga Teacher Training & Mentorship Programs.

shop online today! www.acre75.ca Based in Milverton, Ontario. $10 flat rate shipping.

FREE shipping over $150.

1221 KING ST. E., CAMBRIDGE | 226-218-8251 THEYOGALOFTCAMBRIDGE.CA

Roasting and serving the finest coffees since 2012.

16 Ainslie Street S. Cambridge, ON monigram.ca

14

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

FEATURE | BODY POSITIVITY

B ECAUS E TH E R E ’S N O WRO N G WAY TO HAVE A BO DY Photography by JULIA BUSATO

Warning: The following articles contain information that may challenge expectations. We encouage you to read these pieces with an open mind and open heart. With love and joy. With thoughts of peace and healing. Recognize. Release. Reclaim. Reconnect.

Because you are worthy.

theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

15

SECTION || NAME FEATURE INTUITIVE FITNESS

R E E VA L U AT I N G O U R R E A S O N FOR EXERCISE Story by SAMANTHA GERMANN

16

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

FEATURE | INTUITIVE FITNESS

H

as anyone else ever felt like they didn’t belong in a gym or workout space — like this version of yourself wasn’t worthy of coexisting with the usual gym-goer? Ya, me too! When I dig a little deeper, I start to realize how engrained this socialized body ideal is in me and the folks around me. It has a major impact on how or whether we all see ourselves in the so-called “fitness world.” For all of the rules and stereotypes we have about bodies, there’s an equal amount that exist about exercise. These rules can be as broad as the implication that we need to join a gym in order to achieve our goals.

Or they can get as specific as how our body looks in certain movements or how frequently we participate in said movements.

These rules, although all-consuming, exist quietly in the background of a lot of our minds, dictating how and why we move our bodies.

What I want to know is who came up with this shit? And why do we keep abiding by these rules even if the direction they are leading us in doesn’t feel good? I don’t know about you, but I was never consulted, and my unique body was never specifically considered. These rules or “shoulds” were formed by someone who has never met me, knows nothing of my lifestyle, medical history or wellness goals. And I would argue that these rules were not necessarily created to support us, but rather to add to our insecurities and feelings of unworthiness. This feels problematic to me.

How many times have we stopped exercising or avoided going to a class that we love because we felt our body didn’t belong there? We are so quick to judge our fitness through a purely aesthetic lens rather than in relation to our actual health. For some reason when it comes to exercise wisdom, we turn to Pinterest boards and Instagram feeds, irresponsibly written articles in rag magazines or, if your wallet is deep enough, a personal trainer. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that there are amazing personal trainers, group fitness instructors and wellness advisors out there that are walking alongside us as we achieve our goals — folks who are mindful of their own body biases and make a point of not allowing them in to their practice.

But I think that it’s important to call out some of the nonsense and bring it to the table. It has been my experience that the reason people often choose to

theholisticparent.ca

incorporate movement into their lives is routed in their general dislike for their body. Although this may seem like a natural or appropriate connection, I would argue that the linking of exercise and physical appearance can be quite harmful.

I see this all too often in myself and my clients, we work our bums off but when we can’t see immediate changes we get discouraged and assume we have done something wrong or not worked hard enough… or are just not enough in general.

In reality, the only thing we’ve done wrong is not asked ourselves what truly feels good. Somewhere along the way, we made movement a form of punishment when it has the potential to be an amazing form of celebration. The power behind choosing to add movement into your life has a much larger impact on your overall health than achieving that smaller, leaner or more muscular body ever will. How would it feel to choose movement as a form of life enhancement and an opportunity to practice self-compassion? What if we chose movement for joy instead of shame?

If we continue to require this socialized body ideal to be the result of our exercise or the reason we choose movement, I suspect that we will continue to feel unsatisfied and incomplete. The world is constantly pulling us outside of ourselves to find the answers to all of our wellness woes. I challenge you to look inward. Come home. Ask your body — or even better, your soul — what would

serve its greater good instead of reaching for the answer in the choices other people are making. You really do know best; you just have to give yourselves the space to remember. Let’s bring play back to movement; let it be light-hearted and interesting; let go of the rules you’ve accumulated over the years. Let it be about what feels good in the moment instead of what you think you should be doing. You are the only one living your life, in your magnificent body with your magical, unique chaos.

The next time you catch yourself being self-deprecating, I challenge you to interrupt the thought spiral. Interrupt it with the knowingness that you belong because, well, you do. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone speak to the power of belonging more effectively than Brené Brown. She shares that “true belonging is not something we achieve, accomplish or negotiate with others — it’s something we carry in our hearts.”

You belong in movement; your body is worth celebrating. Period. No “if only” or “once I’m 10, 20, 30 pounds lighter.”

You belong in that spin class. You belong in the swimming pool, at the crossfit gym, in the yoga class or even in your living room dancing your heart out. We are so much more than our bodies, and pulling all of that wonder and magic into our movement allows us to start truly realizing our strength. You are worthy of movement, you are worthy of peace, you are enough.

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

17

services to support your growing family!

Occupational Therapy

helps all children participate successfully in life at home, school and in the community by developing skills, adapting tasks and modifying the environment.

See what PossibilOT can do for you!

Doula * Theta Healing * Aromatherapy www.nestedbirth.com

Jennifer Lake OT Reg. (Ont.)

possibilot.amaruit-asha.ca possibilot@gmail.com 519.502.5233

Guelph Moms & Co OUT OF YOUR CURRENT HOME?

homes@marianmonne.com 519.574.1258 marianmonne.com

!

I Ca n Help Programs for mom and her company

www.guelphmomsandco.com (519) 830-4655 Facebook.com/guelphmoms andco 18

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

FEATURE | MOVEMENT SPACES

Amma Yoga

Big Bliss 241 Duke St. W., Kitchener bigbliss.ca

1-72 St. Leger St., Kitchener ammayoga.ca

A celebration of body-positive movement spaces in the Waterloo Region

A

SIZE-INCLUSIVE SPACE CHECKLIST This checklist is two-fold: businesses can use it to become more size-inclusive and individuals can use to start to identify a sizeinclusive space.

A quaint, familyfriendly studio with a strong focus on healing the postnatal body and making yoga accessible for parents.

HIGHLIGHTS

s professionals working with individuals who are healing from weigh-stigma/bias, eating disorders and a distorted body image, we see a need for safe and size-inclusive movement spaces in the community.

Fitness facilities that focus on body change as the goal of exercise expose these individuals to the very behaviours and beliefs that contributed to their illness or anxiety. We all deserve to have spaces to move joyfully within a community of diverse body sizes. This will bring improved quality of life and greater overall well-being to all members of Waterloo Region. Based on the criteria in the Sizeinclusive Space Checklist, we have come up with a small list of size-inclusive local businesses for you to check out!

Owner Thea Mistry has created a studio that offers intimate classes in a bright setting with childcare available on site at a variety of times.

Their website also includes several wellwritten blog post on body positivity.

All body sizes, types and abilities are represented in marketing material, online presence, staff and physical location.

Weight or body size change is not used as a measure of success or incentive.

All body sizes, types and abilities are represented in

2nd floor, Cambridge breatheintomotion. com

DESCRIPTION

DESCRIPTION

Curated by DANA ROURKE & SUZANNE DIETRICH

Breathe Into Community Motion Yoga of Hearts Yoga 25 Milling Rd.,

A barre, hot yoga and non-heated yoga studio in downtown Kitchener.

DESCRIPTION

HIGHLIGHTS

This is a large, wheelchairaccessible, welcoming studio that is very committed to improving mental health. Classes are held at various hours throughout the day, even for the early birds. This space and their programs encourage respect, flexibility and awareness of where your body is at on each particular day. Fun and pleasure are the guiding principles of the activity.

marketing material, online presence, staff and physical location.

Fun and pleasure are the guiding principles of the activity.

21-826 King St. N., Waterloo communityof heartsyoga.com

A learner-centred approach to yoga based on a leveled system designed specifically for injury recovery or other physical limitations.

HIGHLIGHTS

Owner Mike Chapman has developed this system with inclusivity in mind.

Any one at any level of physical ability can come into the studio and feel welcomed.

Mike’s knowledge of movement and anatomy easily allows him to tailor poses to an individual’s needs. Props are not only utilized but encouraged to keep participants safe and comfortable.

The space and/or program encourage respect, flexibility and awareness of where your body is at on each particular day (think the

DESCRIPTION

Body-inclusive yoga studio offering a variety of classes and workshops HIGHLIGHTS

Owner Selam Debs focuses on ease, comfort and connection to your body by creating an environment where your body informs how much or how little you move and in what way. A number of classes are suitable for all skill levels and are taught by teachers who break the conventional “yoga body” mould. It was especially nice to be in a room full of diverse bodies!

opposite of the “no pain, no gain” mindset).

Food and diets are not a topic of discussion by staff and/or teachers.

DISCLAIMER: Please note this article was written by two white women who identify themselves as thin, and therefore may not necessarily

represent the voices or personal experiences of women of other races or body sizes. While this article was conceived and is endorsed by The Holistic Parent, the research by the writers was conducted independently of The Holistic Parent’s editorial and sales teams.

theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

19

FEATURE | MOVEMENT SPACES

Fearless Innovative Heart Yoga Wellness

Libella Fitness

3-10 Regina St. N., Waterloo fearlessheartyoga.ca

Various locations in the region, including in your home innovativewellness. ca

1031 Victoria St. N., Kitchener (inside Fetter Fitness) “Libella Fit” on Facebook

DESCRIPTION

DESCRIPTION

Casual, gentle and fun yoga classes catering for all ages and those with injury, mental health challenges, caretaker fatigue, and sleeping difficulties.

Body positive personal training and fitness classes rooted in honouring and listening to your body to find the intensity and pace that works for you.

HIGHLIGHTS

Getting your heart beating and at the same time ensuring there is no talk of diets, cleanses, weightloss and cosmetic fitness goals (as stated up-front in all classes) makes Erika’s classes a safehaven for women and femmes looking to move their body in a space that is sheltered from diet culture and inclusive of all body sizes and fitness levels.

DESCRIPTION

A friendly, warm studio in uptown Waterloo offering a variety of classes for all abilities.

HIGHLIGHTS

Not only is the studio’s philosophy welcoming, they have gone out of their way to present their branding and marketing material as such. Their website features a notably welcoming mission statement and a podcast on positive body image. They have also offered workshops on body acceptance. Weight or body size changes are not used as a measure of success or incentive.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Owner Jayne Hembruff offers chair yoga and is very in-tune with the needs and modifications for those with decreased mobility, histories of trauma, and injury. Other unique classes include “Sleep Aid: Yoga for a good night’s sleep,” “Stiff Bodies & Bad Backs Yoga” and “Restorative Gentle Yoga For All.”

Here’s a list of other spaces in the region that writers Suzanne and Dana are happy to recommend from the standpoint of size inclusivity.

20

HIGHLIGHTS

Queen Street Yoga 44 Queen St. S., Kitchener queenstreetyoga.com DESCRIPTION

A seasoned yoga studio in downtown Kitchener, committed to an accessible space where levels, backgrounds and beliefs are welcome.

HIGHLIGHTS

They offer Yoga For Round Bodies, a welcoming, closed class for those identifying as living in larger bodies. The instructor used “Let’s invite everybody and every body part to the party!” as the theme for the class I attended. They are committed to body positivity and have even offered Body Positive Bingo in the past.

Revolve 330 Gage Ave., Kitchener (inside the Toes Across The Floor Studio) revolvebellydance. com

HIGHLIGHTS

Welcoming of all bodies (without baring your belly, if you choose) and abilities. One of the instructors experiences chronic pain so is able to easily adapt movements for those experiencing this. The class was small, intimate and such fun! The music and movement is inspired by dancers and musicians from around the world. The program encourages respect, flexibility and awareness of where your body is at on each particular day.

My Fit Coach: Kim Holmes

FusionMovement Yoga Studio

The Yoga Loft

Salsa Babies

KW Pilates

pranalifeyoga.com

yloft.ca

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

myfitcoach.ca

salsababies.com

fusionmovement.ca

kwpilates.com

Various locations in the region kirstiesmallman.com DESCRIPTION

DESCRIPTION

A fusion-style based belly dance company offering instructional classes and performances.

Pranalife Yoga

SomaSoulMotion

Drawing from martial arts, dance arts and healing arts, Nia is strengthening, tension releasing and a way to listen to great music.

HIGHLIGHTS

Kirstie Smallman’s enthusiastic, nonjudgmental and compassionate teaching style fit perfectly with her motto of “dance, play, love.” If you are looking to move in a new way, start moving again, heal from an injury or illness, Kirstie’s “conscious movement medicine” is for you. A truly nourishing experience of body, mind, emotions and spirit for all levels of fitness and body sizes.

Other size-inclusive activities to consider include: curling, swimming (including aquafit classes offered at our local community centres), badminton (kwbadminton.com), martial arts.

theholisticparent.ca

Experience Cocoon Apothecary at our Headquarters and Retail Shop “We make everything in the back” at 72 St. Leger St. (at Breithaupt) Kitchener, ON. www.cocoonapothecary.ca

HANDMADE • 88% ORGANIC • CRUELTY & CHEMICAL-FREE

Learn each option that parents face when choosing childcare, based on their own needs. Includes checklists, sample interview questions and more!

AVAILABLE AT: Amazon.com & Amazon.ca

theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

21

FEATURE | SELF-COMPASSION

C O M B AT I N G T H E B O D Y I M A G E A N D S E L F - E S T E E M TRAP WITH A DOSE OF KINDNESS Story by SYDNEY BELL

22

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

FEATURE | SELF-COMPASSION

T

here’s an intimate connection between how our children feel about their body and their physical, emotional and mental well-being. A negative body image creates tension and uncertainty in how we relate to food, exercise and all other modes of self-care and wellness. This all-important body image is shaped by how we perceive our physical shape and size, and the thoughts and emotions these perceptions evoke. These thoughts and emotions are strongly influenced by cultural norms and beauty ideals. In Canada, we idealize thin bodies and perceive thin as healthy, which has cultivated a deep-seated cultural fear of large bodies resulting in children at younger and younger ages experiencing negative feelings about their bodies.

As parents come to understand this connection, they look for strategies to protect their children from the impact of a negative body image. It’s generally accepted that building self-esteem (our capacity to evaluate ourselves positively) is foundational for children’s mental and emotional well-being.

However, as we learn more about what supports healthy mental and emotional well-being in children, the focus on building self-esteem is coming into question. In fact, there’s growing evidence that building selfesteem on its own is not a solid foundation because it’s often reliant on feeling special and is developed through social comparison.

We build self-esteem by feeling better than or superior to others. As a result, self-esteem becomes a fair-weather friend — it’s there for us when things are going well, but when children run into life’s invariable obstacles, fail at their endeavours, or find themselves with a body that doesn’t look like the thin ideal, self-esteem is not available to them.

This applies when it comes to helping children with their body image. Building self-esteem is not a helpful framework to support children navigating their feelings about their body, as it can lead children to comparing themselves to others, ranking how their bodies look against not only those of peers but the unachievable thin ideal portrayed in the media. With a focus on building self-esteem, parents may risk falling into the trap of trying to help their body-anxious children to conform to unhealthy cultural standards by putting their child on a diet or encourage excessive exercise for weight loss.

While these actions are often motivated by love and concern, the impacts are often harmful.

Let’s instead consider an alternative tool

theholisticparent.ca

selfcompassion.org gozen.com/love blogs.uwhealth.org/kids/2015/08/ self-compassion-in-kids Visiting Feelings by Lauren Rubenstein Self Compassion by Kristen Neff The Mindfulness Path to Self Compassion by Christopher Germer

to support positive body image and general well-being: self-compassion. We’re self-compassionate when we’re aware of and respond to our own suffering with kindness. Noted author and researcher, Kristen Neff tells us, “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing ourselves for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means we are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings.” Researchers and mental health professionals are sharing data that suggests teaching children the practice of self-compassion has the benefits of self-esteem without the drawbacks.

The power in self-compassion is that it’s

unconditional, and we’re able to offer it to ourselves at any time on the virtue of being human and being alive.

Despite being associated with benefits such as reduced anxiety and depression, parents are often wary of self-compassion, confusing it with self-pity. Parents may worry that if children are compassionate with themselves, they will become lazy and complacent, when in fact the opposite is more often proven to be true. For all of us, when we have built a practice of selfcompassion, we create a psychological safety net that allows us to strive forward and take risks because we know that when we invariably experience setbacks or failures, we have a secure base to “return home” to.

Parents can encourage self-compassion by providing opportunities to learn about self-awareness (or mindfulness). For example, when your kids are struggling with something, ask them how they’d treat a friend and what they’d say to their friend if they were going through a similar situation; look for opportunities to identify and express feelings in a safe way to help create emotional awareness; and model selfcompassion by thinking about how you talk about yourself (especially your own body) in front of your children.

Navigating body image issues with your children can be tough. Learning to practice self-compassion provides a solid foundation for consistent self-care and positive self-regard that will support your child in building a positive body image, and enhance their overall well-being.

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

23

FEATURE | INTUITIVE EATING

I N T U I T I V E E AT I N G M E A N S F U N , F R E E D O M AND CHOICE — WITH A SIDE ORDER OF BACON CH E ES E HOT DOGS Story By SUZANNE DIETRICH

24

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

FEATURE | INTUITIVE EATING

H

ot dogs with bacon and cheese!?

That’s what my seven-year-old suggested for a dinner date with his friend. As a dietitian, I think “his mom will not be impressed!” Trying to ease my mind, I ask “how about some vegetables?” And then I begin thinking, I can buy organic wieners, whole grain buns, and we have free-range bacon. But then I think, we rarely eat hot dogs, this is his special night and it isn’t all about the nutrients — it’s about the company, the story at the table, the wiener jokes and the laughter. So, I give us permission to have a meal not solely guided by nutrition rules. Is that OK? As a parent, feeding our children and understanding their growth patterns can be overwhelming. There is the pressure of the thin ideal body type, the questionable obesity crisis, as well as the pressure to feed our kids healthy at all times. It can be simply exhausting to keep up with! At the heart of every parent is a desire to nourish a healthy child — a competent eater with body confidence. To this end, let me invite you to explore a few ideas around feeding our children that are strongly backed by science.

Consider honouring your child’s hunger and fullness cues Have you ever tried to breastfeed a baby that was not hungry? How do toddlers act out when they are hungry? Our body provides us with innate hunger and fullness cues at every age. Children do a very good job of recognizing them — let’s help them continue to do so by honouring it. Some meals they might eat like a bird, others like a horse, but by the end of the day or even week it often balances out.

Created by Ellyn Satter, registered dietitian and social worker, a practice I have adopted is the “Division of Responsibility In Feeding.” With the intention of raising competent eaters both parents and children are given a role in the feeding relationship. The child’s role is to decide if and how much they want to eat. Letting them be guided by their internal cues teaches them to look to themselves, rather than to external cues, as they grow. As parents, our role is to decide when (with structured times), where and what to eat (both nutritious and play foods). This approach can help remove some eating challenges families face by sharing the control and responsibility. As Satter says, “When eating is stressful, nutrition suffers.”

theholisticparent.ca

Check your own relationship with food and your body Do you allow yourself to eat all types of foods? Are you comfortable with your size? Do you engage in dieting behaviours like counting calories, frequent weighing or fad dieting? Do you make negative comments about your body in front of your children? We live in a very stigmatizing culture when it comes to weight and health, and the majority of our beliefs about size and food come from our family. Many of us grew up in households with dieting parents and are caught in a multigenerational cycle of dieting. The diet and body shaming industry is strong and powerful. Can we be the generation to stop it and create a world that welcomes all shapes and sizes?

It’s hard to love all parts of our bodies, but perhaps we can start to feel acceptance and gratitude for what these parts do for us. It isn’t an easy feat, but there is support available. Getting the help you need to change the way you look at your body can help your children learn to accept and respect their bodies. Reaching out to a Health At Every Size (HAES) or Intuitive Eating health care professional for support is a good start.

Respect your child’s size and growth trajectory If provided with a positive food environment, children generally grow as they are meant to — with a stable height to weight ratio — be that fatter, thinner or in between. As health professionals, one tool used to assess growth and health is a child’s growth chart, which tracks height, weight, BMI and head circumference over time. Concern is warranted when there is deviation from a child’s own normal growth curve, i.e. a child’s growth spikes, drops or flatlines quickly. Normal fluxes in the growth trajectory include being under the age of 2, growth spurts and puberty. Children can be healthy in all percentiles as long as they maintain a steady trajectory. Some children will be in larger bodies, which makes total sense when we take into account genetics and biological diversity. I encourage you to continue to trust their bodies and foster their growth — we all grow and develop at different times and places.

Keep in mind that if a child feels pressured to change their body by a parent, it puts them at higher risk for unhealthy

weight control behaviours like bingeeating and lower body dissatisfaction as they reach adulthood. An excellent resource for supporting children is Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming

by Ellyn Satter.

Prepare your child for body changes during puberty “Changes in puberty naturally heighten children’s interest in how their bodies look,” notes Kathy Kater, a leading body image psychotherapist from the U.S. This, in addition to a culture that demonizes fat, can be hard for children as they reach puberty if they are unaware of the normal ways in which bodies fill out during this time. This developmental time puts many at high risk of engaging in disordered eating and eating disordered behaviours. Let’s help our children understand ahead of time what they can expect during puberty: 1) Growth and development don’t always happen at the same time — and this is very natural 2) Weight gain and body fat increase 3) Timing is very individual — and predetermined before birth 4) A body can grow rounder then taller or vice versa Healthy behaviours are only part of a big picture contributing to the overall health of your child. Fun, freedom, and choice also play a big role. As parents and caregivers, fostering a positive, respectful body attitude can go a long way in creating a competent eater, and in helping a child be confident with their own body and its abilities. It can be challenging, but it starts with ensuring that we as parents are in a positive relationship with food and our own bodies. This relationship includes learning to trust your body’s ability to nourish itself and choose foods that are best for you. This will be based on a number of factors but also acknowledging that eating can and should be a varied and joyful experience. It can be hard to let go of food rules but our bodies have incredible wisdom if we can learn to listen. Listening might even involve the occasional bacon cheese hot dog — and that is definitely OK.

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

25

No food waste. No membership fees.

No GMOs. No toxic chemicals.

No fo o d w a s te. No memb er sh ip fe e s.

Now offering home delivery in KW city limits!

No GMO s. No chem ic a l s.

Life’s an Art… and a Science Individual psychotherapy • Couple therapy Family therapy (parenting, nuclear, blended, extended) Personal and Professional Coaching and Consulting For a full list of services, please visit www.limestonecounselling.ca

519-590-2220

610 Lancaster Street West Kitchener Professionally accredited Costs of services covered by employee benefit programs Healthy Home, School, and Work Environments

26

THE HOLISTIC PARENT

Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

FEATURE | BODY TRUST

TA K I N G B A C K Y O U R B O D Y T H R O U G H R ADICAL SELF-LOVE Story by DANA ROURKE

theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

27

FEATURE | BODY TRUST

M

ost of the females and femmes I know received the message that there was something wrong with their body at a very young age. I received this message around the age of eight, and it continues to be reinforced daily. As someone who identifies as a thin, cisgender, hetero, white woman, the bias I see (and have been partial to at times) perpetuating discrimination, disrespect and stigma for those in larger bodies is heartbreaking.

So what does discrimination against larger bodies have to do with body image and taking back our body? Everything! If we want to feel confident in our bodies, eliminate negative body image issues and heal our relationship with our body and food, we need to stop valuing thin bodies more than fat bodies. We need to stop putting fear in people about getting or being fat and make it a safe body shape/ size to be in a world of diverse bodies.

We’re told that people in larger bodies aren’t healthy. However, there’s plenty of weight science out there that shows folks can live in a larger body and be just as healthy (and even healthier) as those in thin bodies when engaging in health-supportive behaviours, as many do. At best, obesity research shows a correlation between weight and some chronic diseases, not causation.

Again, you may be asking, “What does associating ill health and disease with larger bodies have to do with body image?” So much! Now, not only do we fear being or getting fat because it isn’t beautiful, we also fear it because we are told it will kill us and it will be our own fault! How’s that for stress?

As billion dollar industries (health/ pharmaceutical, wellness and beauty) continue to profit from our fear of fatness, we continue to hand them greater yields by buying the “fixes” they sell when we buy the belief that our bodies are a problem that need to be fixed. What if your body wasn’t a problem to be solved or fixed? What could your life look like if you weren’t worried about the size and shape of your body? What would you choose to do with all the time you spend fretting about your appearance?

I realize this is a tall ask, stepping outside of the dominant paradigm of diet culture, body fixing, “health” and food restriction.

However, if we want our children to grow up in a world where they can show up as they are and feel accepted and valued, not inherit our body loathing and food guilt, and have autonomy over their own body, this is exactly what we must do. Step out of

28

THE HOLISTIC PARENT

Summer 2018

a culture that places value on some bodies and states of health more than others.

Through a paradigm called Health at Every Size (HAES) and Body Trust Wellness, I would like to share some of my favourite practices that can help us reclaim our bodies from this weight- and health-obsessed culture (diet culture) and the shaming that robs us of our innate worthiness, joy and full expression of who we are.

1. Challenge and Release Start by challenging and releasing the judgements, biases and expectations you place on bodies and get curious instead So much of what we believe to be true is

Decisions based on cosmetic fitness, not metabolic fitness often override our body’s natural cycles, needs, desires and cues. Work with your body instead of on it.

3. Become Aware of Body Checking Whether it’s talking in polarities about food (good vs. bad), commenting on the size of your thighs, trying on your “skinny clothes,” looking in the mirror frequently, or skipping dessert because “I shouldn’t,” our words and actions can have a profound impact on those around us, especially little ones.

I love the idea of not saying anything about a person’s body that they can’t change in 10 seconds or less. I have adopted this practice when not only referring to others’ bodies but my own as well.

4. Make Space for Grief We can spend a lot of time thinking about how our life is going to be better when we have the body we want. Letting go of this “ideal body” dream, can often be very difficult. Making room for feelings of loss, betrayal and anger is important. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself; these feelings are completely normal and in no way your fault.

5. Listen to Your Body

often quickly dismantled when we invite a critical eye to look at the data, research and our own intuition around it. Fat activist and author Marilyn Wann says, “The only thing that anyone can diagnose, with any certainty, by looking at a fat person, is their own level of stereotype and prejudice toward fat people.” Health is very complex.

We do have research that shows certain behaviours can hinder it but at the end of the day we really don’t know what actually turns it on or off. Some folks can eat, smoke, drink and live to be 95, some can’t.

2. Shift Your Mindset Put thoughts about weight on the back burner. It’s impossible to heal our relationship with food and our body when we’re focused on controlling its size.

We are taught that pleasure is indulgent, selfish, a conditional reward and untrustworthy. Pleasure is a feeling that reinforces joy, promotes supportive choices, keeps us alive and brings fulfillment.

When we listen to our body and do what feels right, we reinforce our desire for life.

Ask yourself, “If I woke up in a world that accepted all bodies as they are, what would I want to do to care for myself right now?”

Liberating our body from the culture of body shaming is so hard but is possible.

We start simmering in its soup from such a young age, it’s no wonder we are here, feeling the way we do. A couple things I love about body acceptance work are its rebellious, wild and compassionate qualities.

This work forced me to challenge everything I believed about food, bodies and our whole existence in them. It gave me deep love for others but most importantly myself.

Author Cheryl Strayed says, “What is on the other side of the tiny gigantic revolution in which I move from loathing to loving my own skin? What fruits would that particular liberation bear?” What fruits will your body liberation bear?

theholisticparent.ca

• Produce Bags • Lunch Containers • Travel Mugs •

#LifeWithoutWaste Come, visit our store in Waterloo!

9-105 Lexington Rd.

519-954-7877 The Original Lunchbox Store | Since 2008

Jar Accessories • Travel Mugs • Reusable Straws

Reusable Utensils • Snack Bags • Food Wrap • Produce Bags • Lunch Containers • Mason

Thermal Jars • Food Wrap • Lunch Bags • Glass Storage • Cold Packs • Bento Boxes •

SUSTAINABLE, ETHICALLY MADE CHILDREN’S CLOTHING FROM BIRTH TO 11 35 QUEBEC ST, GUELPH • WWW.FALLOWFIELDKIDS.CA

Adeilah Dahlke, Trained Professional Organizer jigsaworgsolutions.com

• Do you throw out a lot of food that has expired?

• Do you have a hard time finding important documents?

• Do you have to “clean up” before you have guests arrive?

All Things Pelvic

@jigsaworgsolutions Jigsaw Organizing Solutions

Then you might need a professional organizer!

Call today for a

FREE ASSESSMENT! 519.807.2478

Holistic HHDS Ad S2018.pdf

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

1

2018-05-10

2:49 PM

Questions about Pregnancy, Birth, or Baby?

Stop Googling...

Call Your Doula

Starting at $50/hour Day, Evening, & Weekend No Referral Needed Office and Home Services Often Next Day

helpinghanddoula@gmail.com • (519) 590-7223 theholisticparent.ca

Summer 2018 THE HOLISTIC PARENT

29

FEATURE | FAT

FAT

Story by BETH MURCH

The realization came to me one day that what I really was seeking was not a slimmer, trimmer figure, but approval — approval from my family, approval from my colleagues, approval from the media, approval from lovers and approval from society. I was so at. The word doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it? hungry for approval that I was trying to carve away at myself, This is funny, because most foods containing fat roll over the tongue so easily! I’m sure we can all think of some com- desperately trying to make myself smaller. It scared me that nowhere in that list of people that I was trying to impress was fy euphemisms: plus-sized, husky, chunky, fluffy, Rubenesque, me. What about what I really, truly thought about myself? Why big-boned (c’mon now, how big can your bones get? No one eats did I need anyone’s approval other than my own? What if I loved ice cream and thinks, “This is going straight to my scapula!”). myself unconditionally, passionately, kindly, the way that I so No matter what you call us, big-bodied people have existed naturally tended to love others? throughout history, and we aren’t going away The notion that I could be good enough, just any time soon. If we have always been around, as I am, with stretch marks, thunder thighs, why is our world so ill-equipped to handle our pendulous breasts and a bountiful booty was hot, buttery rolls? Why are slender folks so radical to me. I had spent so long trying to quick to dismiss those of us who are thicker? hone my body into a weapon against hatred It seems that shaming and blaming fat that I had forgot that I was a multi-dimensional people for their physiques, their varying abilihuman being with plenty of lovable features. ties, and even their very existence is the last I began to thank my body for the hard work it bastion for those avoiding social equity. Acts did. I started blessing my “problem areas.” I of aggression against large people are rarely stopped apologizing for taking up space — litertalked about, and if they are, they are often ally and figuratively. I no longer view the word made out to be the fault of the victim, as if “fat” as pejorative — to me, it’s a descriptor no having a particular body type meant having to different from “thin,” and I am quick to point simply accept abuse and hostility. out to people that being fat is no more a moral Almost as long as I can remember, I’ve been – Beth Murch, F.A.T. weakness than being skinny is a guarantee of “carrying a little extra weight.” I still rememirreproachable behaviour. My fat body is not representative of ber the first time I was called “fat” at age six, and how much it the excesses of Capitalism; it is not a metaphor for greed; and it hurt me. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve only gotten bigger — I went from being what someone once described as “fat in all the right is not the shape of sloth. It’s simply one way of having a body – and there is no wrong way to have a body. places” to just plain fat.

“I don’t need to step out of my fat suit to know how gorgeous I am!”

Did I try to do something about it? Absolutely! I have done – Beth Murch, F.A.T. all kinds of incredibly cruel things to my body in order to slim I am so much more than my body type. I am a writer, a perdown: starvation, vomiting after meals, strict and sometimes former, a birth worker, a friend, a romantic interest, a daughbizarre diets, brutal exercise regimes, pills, shakes, creams, ter, and so much more. I am skilled, powerful, creative, analytiteas, essential oils. You name it and I have done it in the name cal, strong and courageous. I am beautiful — yes! Beautiful! of changing my shape, and all to no avail.

And I should not be ashamed of who I am or how I look. Fat. I “...I have been taught that it is shameful to be soft, that I need to don’t need a comfy euphemism — I know exactly who I am, and have hard, sharp edges to carve out my place in this world instead of I am proud of who that person is. simply existing in it as my squishy self...” – Beth Murch, “Collarbones” “Image a world where you literally do not fit — clothes, rooms, conversations, relationships...” – Beth Murch, F.A.T.

F

“Imagine a world where you literally do not fit — clothes, rooms, conversations, relationship...”

30

THE HOLISTIC PARENT Summer 2018

theholisticparent.ca

We are here to help both couples and individuals create the most fulfilling relationships and lives possible!

Bliss Counselling is a boutique private practice located in Uptown Waterloo with a specialization in providing evidence-based tailored counselling services to meet your needs.

Our skilled associates have extensive experience and training in supporting clients who have a desire to better cope with life’s challenges. At Bliss Counselling our team consists of psychotherapists, clinical social workers, EMDR practitioners, hypnotherapists, sexologists, meditation teachers, and counsellors who represent some of KW’s leading experts in relationship and sex therapy.

Psychotherapy and counselling provide a platform to enrich, challenge and motivate one self. With therapeutic guidance and dedicated time to examine patterns, build skills and develop a deeper understanding of your strengths, and how to use them, you can become more effective in your life. You will learn about your relationships, your predictive behaviours and habits, and ultimately what is holding you back from living your best life.

In our therapy offices, you will find a comfortable, and relaxed vibe that is non-judgmental and where we all strive to improve ourselves.

If you have a relationship, life transition, career or personal stress, anxiety, grief, trauma, or family concern, seeking therapy is the right thing to do.

Call or book an appointment online.

We look forward to meeting you!

226.647.4123• info@blisscounselling.ca www.blisscounselling.ca We are a group of professionally accredited therapists therefore, many Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) and extended health care plans will cover our services.

Bliss is Dedicated to Helping You • Work through challenges of parenthood • Address pregnancy and postpartum concerns • Establish an active sexual life after childbirth • Manage stress and anxiety • Increase self-confidence • Improve body image • Create more fulfilling relationships (intimate, familial and social) • Address feelings of depression/sadness/ emptiness and/or loneliness • Break out of patterns that are causing uninspired sexual ruts or avoidance of sexual interactions • Take steps toward reestablishing trust and intimacy • Communicate more effectively • Learn to better handle conflict, either acute or ongoing • Heal from past trauma • Navigate grief and loss • Inspire personal growth • Identify attachment disorders

HANDMADE ORGANICS

FROM OUR FAMILY, TO YOURS. Specially selected organic and natural ingredients clean, soothe, nourish, and protect both baby and mama, every step of the way.

KINORGANICS.CA

@KINORGANICS

MADE IN CANADA