Inlander 1/10/2013

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January 10-16, 2013 | free | near nature. but not lost.

snowlander

winter adventure snowshoeing | snowmobiling | getaway to whitefish, montana | sandpoint winter carnival | calendar supplement to the inlander

news

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page 13

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Spokane Valley wants to simplify business

Inside the Park Inn, one of Spokane’s oldest restaurants

Will Zero Dark Thirty earn Bigelow a second Oscar?

2 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

inside

It’s a great timegifts, to join local your local food co-op! Local food Support your local economy by buying locally produced food!

JAN. 10-16, 2013 | Vol. 20, No. 13

COMMENT NEWS CULTURE SNOWLANDER FOOD FILM

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comment StAFF DIRectoRY PHone: 509-325-0634 ted s. Mcgregor Jr. (tedm@inlander.com) PUBLISHER

J. Jeremy Mcgregor (x224) GENERAL MANAGER

eDItoRIAL Jacob H. Fries (x261) EDITOR

Mike Bookey (x279)

CULTURE EDITOR

chris Bovey (x248) ART DIRECTOR

How well do you think the city handled the Monday morning snowstorm? Gary Kennison Jr. It’s all right as long as they keep the sidewalks clear. For those who don’t have cars or anything, it really bites trying to get anywhere whenever the sidewalks are completely blocked by snow and ice. It’s safer to walk on the street than it is on the sidewalks in town.

lisa waananen (x239) WEB EDITOR

chey scott (x225)

LISTINGS EDITOR

Heidi groover (x249) Jacob Jones (x237), Joe o’sullivan (x282), leah sottile (x250), daniel walters (x263) STAFF WRITERS

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As far as I know, pretty well. I come to work really early, so by the time I come to work there’s not much plowed. But by the time I went home it was pretty much plowed out and looking pretty good.

CONTRIBUTORS

nathan Brand, kate dinnison, eric gavelin INTERNS

ADVeRtISInG tami linane-Booey (x215) ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Bruce deming (x217), Jann Harris (x230), kristin wagner (x212), carolyn Padgham-walker (x214) SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Jamie albertini (x247), Jean russell (x236), emily walden (x260), Michael daubel (x231), Bev Bowman (x251)

Lisa May Actually, I live in Coeur d’Alene, so it’s probably not pertinent. How was it there? It was better — I thought the roads in Coeur d’Alene were much more plowed than the roads in Spokane. I was actually surprised that it was not better taken care of.

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

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oPeRAtIonS

Krista Branson I think the main roads were pretty good. Side roads — I don’t know, I’m from Portland, I’m so bad in the snow. How long have you lived here? Six years. But I still feel like a Portlander.

dee ann cook (x211) BUSINESS MANAGER gail golden (x210) CREDIT MANAGER angela rendall (x213) OPERATIONS ASSISTANT trevor rendall (x226) DISTRIBUTION MANAGER

PRoDUctIon wayne Hunt (x232) PRODUCTION MANAGER Brett anderson (x205) WEB DEVELOPER/PRODUCTION alissia Blackwood (x238), derrick king (x238), tom stover (x265) GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

Devonte Cleveland I think it went pretty well. They got it out of here pretty quick, so it didn’t bother anybody and it’s not too icy this morning. Did the storm surprise you? Actually it did. When I went to sleep, it wasn’t snowing too bad, and then when I woke up there was a lot of snow out there.

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Fifteen for ’13

Start the new year by getting back to the basics of good citizenship

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comment | resolutions

E

arly in this new year, when all Americans, particularly Republicans, are trying to make sense of the fiscal cliff’s consequences, it’s time to earnestly resolve for a better year and a better country. Here are a few promises to consider for the greater good: 1. Give thanks daily for the blessings surrounding us — family, friends, fresh air to breathe, the ability to think and dream, to live in a free country. Too often, we take them for granted amidst our criticism of America’s flaws and leaders’ ineptitudes. The United States remains a fabulous and resilient country. 2. Dedicate yourself to read more and watch television less — there’s too much mindless trash on TV and an abundance of quality literature left unread. Choose five books to complete in 12 months (most Americans consume four per year). Avoiding FOX News or MSNBC for a while will lower blood pressure, allow us to form our own opinions and help us fret less. 3. Whatever one’s faith, pray often — more than 90 percent of Americans believe in God. Regularly conversing with the God of one’s religion is comforting and uplifting. 4. Increase commitments to others. Doing so can address some of the problems America faces. Choose a person less fortunate and provide assistance, perhaps saving someone from welfare. Volunteer for a local charity — helping others is satisfying and therapeutic. 5. Read the Constitution and Declaration of Independence again — they’re inspirational and center our thinking away from trivial political issues and personalities. 6. Get fervently behind a cause. Maybe it’s tax reform, expecting U.S. representatives and senators to pass the same immigrant citizenship exam required of new American citizens or promoting a specific government improvement. There are thousands of issues to follow. Picking a topic, researching it and proposing a solution to policymakers is enlightening and engages us in the American political process, making us better citizens. 7. Request an in-person meeting with your local or national public officials. Doing so makes one an active citizen, something more than a voter. You’ll be enlightened by the experience and mindful that elected officials work for us. 8. Write a thank-you letter to a teacher, first responder, postal worker or any other public employee who serves the common good, carefully choosing words of thanksgiving to properly cite their public services. Recipients will be appreciative and strive to do a better job to justify such thanks. 9. Volunteer for one day in a neighborhood classroom to observe the rising generation and appreciate the challenges teachers face each day.

Doing so will make for better-informed voters when school levies come up for renewal. Besides, young people are joyful and stimulating to be around. 10. Write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper expressing your views on an issue. Choose a subject, thoughtfully articulate your concerns and if it’s published, those who know you will appreciate your opinions even more. Who knows, maybe your policy idea will take hold. 11. Invite a military veteran to have coffee, thanking the veteran for service rendered and learning how military service affected the veteran’s life. You’ll both be enriched. 12. Spend an afternoon in the Spokane Public Library learning about the resources offered. You’ll forever treasure the value libraries provide for a community and be aware of how much the public relies on them. 13. Learn a few foreign phrases. Americans expect foreigners to know English when they

Avoiding FOX News or MSNBC for a while will lower blood pressure‌ visit us, but we’re often offended when we visit other countries and all citizens there can’t understand English. Foreigners appreciate communication in their native language — even a little. 14. Take the immigrant citizenship test (see www.uscis.gov) — you’ll be amazed at what you don’t know, or have forgotten, about America and our form of government. Better yet, also attend a swearing-in ceremony for new citizens — you’ll see how important American citizenship is to them. 15. Smile and greet at least five strangers each week — at the grocery store, the cleaners or some other public place. Thank clerks wearing nametags by name. The smiles and greetings you receive in return will be surprising.

E

very new year offers Americans opportunities to reflect, but also look forward — to improve upon our shortcomings of the past 12 months. Fulfilling the list above will improve our citizenship and engage us as enlightened problem-solvers, forming opinions through study and interest. Thomas Jefferson was once taught, “Enlightenment is man’s emergence from his self-imposed immaturity.� Let’s be sure 2013 is a year that each citizen steps closer to enlightenment. n

comment | publisher’s note

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t the birth of rock ’n’ roll, DJ Alan Freed was like the attending physician. He wrote songs with Chuck Berry, got his own TV show and had spun records from Akron to New York. Then he got busted for payola — in fact, in 1960 he was the first to be indicted for taking money to play certain records. If Freed could create a hit — and big profits — what was $2,500 to a record label? There have been no payola prosecutions in decades, but the word has been getting tossed around since Republican icon Dick Armey blew the whistle on his old employer last week. In December, Armey resigned as chairman of FreedomWorks, the political organization credited with powering the Tea Party. Armey told Media Matters he left because he objected to “paid advertising� spent to get Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh to weave nice comments about FreedomWorks into their broadcasts. “Raising money,� Armey said, “[became] an end [unto] itself, not an instrumental activity to support the foundation work that our organization does.� Wait, Beck and Limbaugh are getting paid to pimp FreedomWorks? That’s the real news here. In 2012, Beck took $1 million from FreedomWorks, while Limbaugh took an unspecified amount. Sounds like payola to me. In 2011, Politico.com dug into conservative media and right-wing fundraising and quoted one troubled conservative involved with such a group: “I wish more of the grassroots knew the reality that this wasn’t Rush or Sean or Beck saying these things out of the goodness of their hearts. If the grassroots found out that these guys were getting paid seven figures a year to say this stuff, it might leave a bad taste in their mouth.� But the grassroots don’t need to know that; they just need to keep writing checks. And to keep the outrage levels high, conservative media stars have to raise the rhetoric to further extremes, pushing elected officials into crazier corners. Now members of Congress are openly advocating blowing up the American economy over the debt ceiling, and 67 Republicans in the House voted against funding relief for Hurricane Sandy’s victims. Unlike Freed, who could never find a job after his conviction and who died of alcoholism five years later, Dick Armey looks to be fine. FreedomWorks owes him $400,000 a year for 20 years as severance. And the group plans to stick with its pay-to-say arrangement with Beck and Limbaugh. The question in payola was, “Do you really think this song is great, or is somebody just paying you to say that?� For FreedomWorks, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, it’s, “Do you really believe all this crazy stuff, or is somebody just paying you to say that?� Meanwhile, the question for America is, “Which is the bigger crime?� n

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comment | digest on our facebook

What issues do you want the new Congress to take on this session?

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letters

The Future of C.O.P.S.

and some original empirical research. It failed to identify I was so happy to hear that the new mayor and the new any gun control that had reduced violent crime, suicide chief of police have put together a plan for revitalizing or gun accidents.” the policing of Spokane. But wait, their plan Having more guns does not make a sounds so familiar — areas of the city with a society either more dangerous or more police emphasis and patrolling of the neighSend comments to safe. But what does? borhoods. That’s what’s already in place — an editor@inlander.com. That question brings us back to the established organization of volunteers in 10 lack of any leadership rising above the Spokane C.O.P.S. (Community Oriented Policsordidness and shallowness of politics to find and face ing Services) shops throughout the city with a police the real issues. Every ounce of political will expended officer working out of each one, patrolling and handling in futile arguments over gun control means less spent citizen complaints. These Neighborhood Resource productively on exploring public policy that will make Officers are actively engaged with the citizens in their a real difference. We can’t afford to waste our public neighborhoods, following up on complaints. This has health resources or any more young lives. been working flawlessly for 20 years. We know what doesn’t work. Let’s figure out what But now the mayor is trying to change the function works. of C.O.P.S. to a mini City Hall in each neighborhood to collect utility bills. What is wrong with this picture? SUE LANI W. MADSEN We, as volunteers working with the police to protect Edwall, Wash. the safety of the citizens, don’t want to be turned into unpaid city clerks. We wish to remain the community eyes and ears (and sometimes arms) of our city police department. You hit the mark on most of the coal train issues (“The Coalman Cometh,” 12/27/12) except for a very important BARB HEDLUND consideration — namely the exportation of our energy. President, Nevawood C.O.P.S. Energy means jobs, period. Why are we even considering exporting our future energy needs? We have a glut of natural gas, so there is a push to liquefy and export that. Why are we willing to sell our future at wholesale Professor Herold made a good point in his commenprices for some fast bucks today? tary on guns (“Finding Our Balance,” 1/3/13) when he Since there is a glut of natural gas, why hasn’t the referred to the impact of letting go of the idea of a moral price come down to the consumers? As stated, the coal universe. When we have no responsibility to others, trains will not benefit Spokane. The jobs promised by the when good and evil are “problematic categories,” then coal companies are very short-term. When the coal terwe have no grounds to be surprised at whatever hapminals are complete, very few jobs will remain. No new pens. Yet we know in our gut that random killing is an jobs for Spokane. But there will be more diesel exhaust, evil act. It is in evil act no matter how it is carried out. more noise and more problems at the grade crossings. Before we blame the tool as a handy scapegoat, it It’s way past time to take a long look at this counwould be useful to look at the science to find out what try’s future energy needs and put a stop to the moneyworks. A study titled “Would Banning Firearms Reduce grabbing practices of big business. We will pay for these Murder and Suicide” in the Harvard Journal of Law & mistakes for decades to come. Public Policy concluded the answer is no. The authors of the study noted: “In 2004, the U.S. National Academy HERB POSTLEWAIT of Sciences released its evaluation from a review of 253 Spokane, Wash. journal articles, 99 books, 43 government publications

letters

Who Benefits?

Leadership Wanted

Mandy O’Connell: First I’d like to see them take a look at their pay scales and then adjust them according to the levels that their constituents are currently living on! Why can’t we find money for things like books in my son’s school when they live on six and seven figures? Jake Green: It would just honestly be nice to see a Congress open to creating bipartisan laws that will benefit the people that they have been voted to represent. Alyse Marshall Juliano: Reauthorization of VAWA! Jamie Bosanko: Ideally? Balancing the budget; tax reform; filibuster/ procedural Senate reform; climate change; minimum standards on paid sick/vacation leave; stagnant US wages; marriage equality; immigration reform; gun control; reauthorizing the VAWA; and just because I’m a real dreamer, instant run-off voting in federal elections. Realistically? Maybe VAWA and immigration reform if we’re lucky. David Camp: Climate protection. Eagerly awaiting Cathy McMorrisRodgers to lead the way. Lori Wilson: Make realistic budget cuts. The children, elderly and (genuinely) poor have suffered enough in this state. Maybe if they just completely restart, say “Let’s pretend everything has equal monies... Who needs more or less depending on what’s going to reverse the red better?” Rose Messick: To care about the citizens they are supposed to represent... instead of adding to the debt with pork to benefit a few so as to receive perks from corporations and lobbyists. Shame Shame. n

JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 9

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...and find The

inside.

comment | satire

Ready For Nothing by andy borowitz

J

ust hours after being sworn in at the U.S. Capitol last week, the freshman class of House Republicans said that they were disappointed that they failed to shut down the government on their first day in office. “We were all like, ‘OK, we’re sworn in, let’s shut this thing down,’” said freshman Rep. Byron Ernie (R-Kentucky). “We were all pretty bummed that the government just kept running.” Rep. Ernie acknowledged that it might have been “overly optimistic” of the freshman Republicans to expect to engineer a government shutdown on their very first day, “but bringing the government to a random standstill was the whole reason we became Republicans,” he said. House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia) chuckled goodnaturedly at the ambitions of the high-spirited GOP freshmen, telling reporters, “I remember what it was like to be young and full of big ideas

about crippling our historic institutions for no discernible reason whatsoever. There’s nothing like your first time.” Surveying the cherubic faces of the incoming Republicans, he said, “They’re like kids who want to close down a candy store.” Looking beyond the disappointment of his first day, Rep. Ernie said he was looking forward to “that magical day” when he and his fellow Republican freshmen get to participate in their very first government shutdown: “We’ll be paralyzing the government in the same building where John Boehner and Eric Cantor did it, and Newt Gingrich before them. It’s like playing basketball in the same arena as Michael Jordan.” n For more fake news from Andy Borowitz, visit borowitzreport.com.

comment | education

How To Earn a D+ by jim hightower

T

he “ivory tower” of academia has become overshadowed by a new edifice on campus that is reaching ridiculous heights: the tower of mammon. As public universities have been driven by budget-whacking lawmakers to seek ever-more private funding, what were once centers of free thinking are increasingly dominated by corporate sales gimmicks. “A lot of schools are taking a much more corporate approach,” exulted a PR executive who works with top administrators, marveling that “a CMO didn’t even exist on most campuses 10 years ago.” A who? A chief marketing officer. Marketing what? As explained by the CMO of the University of California system, “the changing funding landscape” requires universities to sell themselves to moneyed elites, which means academic institutions must rework what he calls “their visual identities.” Forget intellectual pursuits, we’re talking about corporate branding. Iowa’s Drake University, for example, rebranded itself a

couple of years ago with the slogan “Drakeplus.” That was intended to sell students and donors alike on the clever equation that Drake-plus-you would equal remarkable results — even excellence. This might have been an inane but innocuous bit of PR-puffery, except that the school’s marketing geniuses chose to reach for PR artistry, substituting the letter “D” to refer to Drake. Yes, that meant that the official brand they created to characterize their institution of higher learning was: “D+.” Not exactly a standard of academic excellence. Educational achievement is not a product of marketers, but of… well, of educators. A school with plenty of good teachers will sell itself. So here’s a marketing concept: fire the CMO and hire a couple more teachers. n For more from America’s populist, check out jimhightower.com.

JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 11

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FROM: THE STAFF AT KOOL 107.1 First and foremost we resolve to give you 107.1% of the coolest songs of all time. While in reality we realize that this is somewhat subjective, if you love music from the 70’s, 80’s, and today, mixed with classics from the 60’s, we think you’re in for some great music in the year ahead. Secondly, we’re here “LIVEâ€? to make your mornings fun again! We’ve brought back Rob Harder and Mark Holman, two local legends who have been starting your day with a smile and laughs for almost 25 years. We’ll be the first to agree with you‌corporate radio sucks. We’ve seen (and unfortunately lived) the cookie cutter approach that delivers sterile “out of marketâ€? music feeds and voices. It doesn’t work, and it certainly wasn’t filling our need for local flavor, and personalities who know you want more than sugar sprinkled on top. That’s why we started KOOL 107.1, a LOCAL station, owned and operated by local people like you. More importantly, we’ll keep you up to speed on what’s happening here in our community. Be it weather, traffic, or what’s happening this weekend, we’ll do our best to keep you in the know.

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Our pledge? Turn us on, and we’ll do our best to turn you on to great music, along with friends that will have you laughing on a daily basis. The reward for reading our resolution? The first five people who call our request line, (which incidentally is 509-315-8030) when we play Celebration by Kool & The Gang, Friday, January 11th, will each receive a pair of free lift tickets to Lookout Pass. Let’s have more fun in the year ahead! We plan on it, and invite you to join us at KOOL 107.1 FM, and online at www.kool1071.com

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12 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

government

Open for Business

Spokane Valley doesn’t hesitate to brag about how much nicer they are about permits than in the past By Daniel Walters

W

hen Walmart tried to build a supercenter on Spokane’s South Hill in 2006, 600 people filled a high school cafeteria, many of them slamming the corporation’s impact on traffic, wages, benefits and surrounding businesses. The outcry worked. Walmart built elsewhere. But in the more conservative Spokane Valley, the opening of a new Walmart this October not only was uncontroversial — it was celebrated. In fact, last month, the face of the Walmart manager, Brian Mansfield, topped a billboard paid for by the city of Spokane Valley, proclaiming in giant text: “Spokane Valley

has been the best city when it comes to obtaining permits.” He starred in a television advertisement as part of the same campaign. “The city of Spokane Valley helped us achieve our goals with the permitting process by making it so easy,” Mansfield says in the ad. As jaunty music plays, the camera pans across the store. “They were so willing to come out to the store at any given time. The city is so probusiness-like that they were willing to help get our store open on time on October 17.” In Spokane and Spokane Valley, candidates campaigned on “pro-business” promises to make permitting ...continued on next page

Walmart’s Brian Mansfield is touting Spokane Valley’s business savvy. young kwak photo

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A billboard marketing Spokane Valley’s permitting process.

swifter and easier. Both have made efforts in that perspective of not just throwing the rulebook at direction, but the Valley is unique in advertisthe applicants, but walking them through all the ing it. It has spent $75,000 of leftover economic different regulations.� development money on print advertisements, That’s meant new reorganization: a new billboards and TV and radio spots, bragging development services coordinator now assists about having the “Friendliest Permitting Process permit-seekers in navigating through all the in Washington.� different phases and departments. Two planners But it wasn’t always so friendly. have been moved permanently into the permitTraditionally, says John Hohman, commuting center to provide additional on-the-spot nity development director, the Valley was more expertise. And the Valley is getting rid of its two hands-off. They may have handed the developer “permit specialist� positions and replacing them a copy of their regulations, pointed them to their with more advanced “permit facilitators.� website and then let them fend for themselves. “What we’re looking for is a more educated, But that’s not the case anymore. better experienced individual that can help direct Mike Jackson has been city manager since people when they come in the door,� Hohman 2010, when former City Manager David Mercier says. If a resident wants to add a garage to their was dumped by the new crop of conservative house, for example, they may not even know Spokane Valley council members. Jackson says where to start. A permit facilitator, he says, when the previous community development would have the broad knowledge to help them director retired, he began looking for someone to immediately, instead of passing them off to take the department in a different direction. someone else. “This is something we’ve heard about in the The department also went digital. Hohman Valley since incorporation,� Jackson dumped a drawer full of paper permitting says of permitting problems. “It’s documents, many out of date, into recycommon throughout any city — cling. Now the forms are online, always Send comments to permitting is a challenge wherever updated with the latest version. In 2013, editor@inlander.com. the Valley aims to make it even easier. you go.� That’s when Hohman was “We’re getting away from application hired, and he began working on a forms,� Hohman says. “roadmap� to improve permitting. The last 18 You’ll be able to walk into the city, he says, months have been about turning permit employsit down, and the permit facilitator will interview ees from gatekeepers into guides. you. She’ll ask a series of questions about your “The biggest change is our perspective project, then fill out your paperwork for you. and attitude,� Hohman says. “We have taken a You won’t have to write a thing.

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F

or the city of Spokane, the permitting overhaul hasn’t made billboards, but the changes may be just as dramatic. It began with a November 2011 “kaizen” event — an intense, in-depth efficiency-management seminar used to solve a specific problem and brainstorm how to cut waste. “After that was done, we had a survey based on in-person and over-the-phone interviews for people who have been through the process,” says Jan Quintrall, director of business and development services. “Shockingly enough, we talked to our customers. We heard about the inconsistency. We heard about the silos. We heard about lack of follow-up.” The “silos,” Quintrall says, referred to the habit of each department only concentrating on its specific role, without communicating about the project as a whole. Mistakes get made that way. “We had the customer bring in seven sets of plans to seven different departments,” says Quintrall. “A lot of them were repetitive. So by having everyone in the room and everyone talking to each other, that doesn’t happen.” Even as Mayor David Condon’s tight budget cut positions, Quintrall began moving her employees to the permitting department: Thanks to restructuring, a department of 10 grew to a department of 30. She says all the changes have slashed the initial response time of 60 days nearly in half. And in February, the city of Spokane will officially open the “Developer Service Center,” a one-stop shop for anyone in the city needing a permit.

M

eanwhile, Walmart’s not the only business praising the Valley. When Tacoma Screw Products opened its new Spokane Valley location last year, the company’s executive adviser, John Wolfe, says he had to go through the typical eight or 10 required permits, including demolition, plumbing, electricity, mechanical permits, site plan reviews, sign codes, even a seismic capacity permit to ensure the storage containers could survive an earthquake. “It was outstanding,” Wolfe says, praising the Valley’s accessibility. “I’m over in Tacoma, and I could pick up my phone and call any one of the [Spokane Valley] departments. … I ended up feeling like I found some new friends.” And Dennis Crapo, with Diamond Rock Construction, says that permitting in the Valley has been “extremely difficult” in the past, but that they’ve “improved vastly.” The question, he says, is whether it will continue to improve. Putting up a billboard claiming to have the friendliest permitting process is one thing, “but a reputation is earned over time.” n danielw@inlander.com

F. Dana Kelley Attorney & Shootist

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JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 15

news | digest

need to know

The Big News of the Past Week

Politics Leaving It Behind T

hree years ago, the direction of Spokane Valley irrevocably changed. Mayor Rich Munson and the City Council had been pursuing a sweeping, zoning overhaul, hoping to renew Sprague Avenue and channel development to create a strong city center. But then came Brenda Grassel and the Positive Change group. After the 2009 election, the group seized control of the council and completely reversed course, dismantling the plan, restoring the former zoning rules and narrowing the vision of Spokane Valley government to its bare essentials. But Grassel stepped down from her council position on Jan. 1. She’s leaving the city limits, moving to acreage in unincorporated south Spokane County — making her ineligible to serve on the council. When we caught up with Grassel as she finished her term, she said she’s most proud of the way the council reorganized the budget, funneling more investment into long-term road preservation. The Valley, she says, managed to repeatedly balance its budget, despite plunging revenues and rising health care costs, without raising taxes. That meant negotiating with the union — but it also meant cutting out lots of little expenses. The council, for example, saved money by eliminating catered dinners from its meetings.

Grassel, the owner of Precision Cutting Technologies, was also one of the driving forces behind the Valley’s ordinance preventing panhandlers from asking for money in roadways. “It had really gotten out of hand in the amount of panhandling going on,” Grassel says. “One landowner had a little mini-camp going on in his property. At first I was told we couldn’t do anything, that it was all decided because it was a First Amendment right.” But when Grassel says she started researching it, she found many municipalities were able to limit panhandling for safety reasons by preventing them from stepping into streets. “We came up with a much better ordinance than the city of Spokane did,” Grassel says. “They didn’t create the ordinance for the entire city limits. All they’ve done is to move [the panhandlers.] I understand they’re not really enforcing it. ” She says she hopes her temporary replacement, who will be appointed by the council, will share her general philosophy. “I have an ideology of what City Council should do and city government should do,” Grassel says. “It’s a pretty basic service ideology. We should be providing police, infrastructure and roads.” — DANIEL WALTERS

Departing Spokane Valley councilwoman Brenda Grassel talks the budget and her vision for city government.

2.

We went briefly over the fiscal cliff before Congress got it together and properly kicked the can down the road on federal government spending cuts and widespread tax increases. As part of the deal, however, people earning more than $400,000 annually did see their taxes go up.

3.

Idahoan Joseph Duncan has an appeal to spare him the death penalty after his conviction of the 2005 murder of a 9-year-old boy. Duncan has said he has no interest in an appeal, but court-appointed lawyers filed one anyway.

4.

From now on when a complaint is received, social service agencies will have 24 hours to help the inhabitants of the homeless camp beneath the freeway in downtown Spokane get to a shelter before the city evicts them.

5.

Apparently this winter’s snow strategy is to blanket everything and then melt quickly in order to cause the maximum possible discomfort. Well played, Mother Nature.

On inlander.com

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1.

Spokane Police Chief Frank Straub called for more community and policing strategies to cut violent crime. December saw seven citywide homicides, matching the seven that happened in the rest of 2012.

Number of votes Idaho Republican Rep. Raul Labrador received last week to be Speaker of the House of Representatives. Rep. John Boehner of Ohio was re-elected speaker with 220 votes.

74,447

What’s Creating Buzz The number of FBI background checks run prior to firearm purchases in Washington state for December 2012, up from 44,046 in December 2011.

SNOW: We’ve got your rundown of texts, maps and cameras to keep track of the winter weather. HOAXES: Feeling nostalgic for 2012 already? Don’t. It was full of fake videos and unfulfilled promises (apocalypse, anyone?). Some of the year’s biggest hoaxes are on Bloglander.

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Wanted: Pot Leader Washington seeks a marijuana manager; plus, Whitworth gets sexy NOW HIRING

The Liquor Control Board is looking for someone someone to take the lead on this whole LEGALIZING MARIJUANA thing. The agency is hiring a “marijuana licensing and regulatory manager� — someone to manage just about everything that comes along with Initiative 502, which legalized recreational marijuana for people 21 and older, but gave the board a year to craft regulation of the drug. The new regulator will oversee ongoing public comment, the implementation of regulation and “state, local and federal agency collaboration,� according to a post about the job on the state’s website. The gig pays between $80,510 and $87,664 a year and is based in Olympia. In total, the board hopes to hire about 35 new staffers to help regulate pot, but that’s dependent on the state’s yet-to-be-approved budget. — HEIDI GROOVER

confirms Stephens was placed on paid leave last month, but did not release any details regarding the nature of the internal inquiry. She says no one else has been placed on leave in connection with the matter. “No other information [is] being provided to the public,� she says. Stephens, who joined the department as a reserve officer in 1984, rose through the ranks to major of the Operations Bureau. He served as interim police chief from January to October 2012, at which point newly arrived Chief Frank Straub took over the department. Officials say Stephens was placed on leave Dec. 20, the day before Straub revealed a new command structure that included demoting Stephens to the rank of captain. Earlier that month, Stephens said he was excited to lend his institutional knowledge to the new chief’s efforts to “develop a strong command staff.� — JACOB JONES

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Former Interim Police Chief Scott Stephens remains on administrative leave from the Spokane Police Department pending the outcome of an unspecified internal investigation. Department spokeswoman Officer Jen DeRuwe

It took less than two years for the abandoned website of the Whitworth University student newspaper to start redirecting visitors to a hardcore pornographic website. Type in “thewhitworthian.com� into browser and

you’ll find a review of the new Hobbit movie and a profile of an undocumented immigrant student. But type in “whitworthian.comâ€? — the newspaper’s URL until 2011 — and it will automatically direct you to NomPorn, a website brimming with sexually explicit images. “OK‌ that’s awesome,â€? former Whitworthian editorin-chief Jerod Jarvis sarcastically says upon seeing what the website had become. “Unfortunately, we feel we were screwed over by College Publisher.â€? Jarvis helmed the paper in 2011, when it opted to move away from College Publisher, a platform that managed hundreds of college websites. MTV U had sold College Publisher to a private firm, which began to charge for the previously free service. Eventually whitworthian.com was auctioned off. A look through screenshots at the Internet Wayback Machine and Domain Tools show that the site has taken a number of forms since August of 2011, including a Wordpress blog composed in the Thai language. But now it’s been registered by someone out of Tel Aviv, Israel, and forwarded to pornography. Casey Smith, product developer at College Publisher, says the domain shouldn’t have lapsed: Domains are usually owned by the client, not by College Publisher. “That’s awful for Whitworth right now,â€? Smith says. Whitworth University only heard about the problem on Tuesday, says university spokeswoman Nancy Hines. They’re emailing the owner in Tel Aviv to ask him for the domain back and are pursuing legal actions through InterNIC, an agency that handles domain name complaints. Whitworth University filters pornography oncampus, Hines says, it’s unlikely the porn site could be accessed from campus. — DANIEL WALTERS

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NEWS | TRAFFICKING

Battling Backpage The first serious attempt to curb sex ads for minors on Backpage.com was over before it began. Now what? BY HEIDI GROOVER Expires: January 31, 2013

Wednesday January 16, 2013

Linda Elkin, Regional President of U.S. Bank, and Grant Forsyth, Chief Economist at Avista, to-gether, will provide a regional financial update on where we are today and what the future holds. They will be accepting questions from attendees. 11:45 am to 1:00 pm First Presbyterian Church 318 S. Cedar St, Spokane Luncheon costs $15 for general admission & $5 for students Reserve by Monday, Jan. 14th @ noon Email: cityforum@spokanefpc.org Phone: (509)777-1555

www.spokanecityforum.org

T

here’s an understandable sense of urgency when lawmakers talk about the state’s finances, or educating its children or funding its social services. But at least one state senator is talking about something else. “There are kids being trafficked,” says Sen. Jeanne Kohl-Welles, D-Seattle, who’s soft-spoken until she gets to this issue. “It exploits women and men, girls and boys.” Last session, Kohl-Welles sponsored SB 6251, a bill targeted at sites like Backpage. com for their role in sex trafficking of minors. The law criminalized causing or aiding the sale of sex with a minor and was aimed at forcing sites like Backpage.com to verify ages or shut down their adult sections entirely. It was hailed nationally as the first of its kind, uniquely able to go after the long-elusive online sale of minors. But soon after the bill was passed, it was challenged in federal court and swiftly struck down by a U.S. District Court judge who ruled it unconstitutional. Now Kohl-Welles and her allies are left to repeal one of their proudest accomplishments and figure out what to do next. “We worked very hard to have a bill that would pass constitutional muster. We thought we had it right,” Kohl-Welles says. “I don’t think it was a weak bill, but it was a difficult bill.” According to challengers and the judge, the law’s downfall started with how broadly it was written. It could have swept in Internet providers and sex ad-free sites if they host other people’s (potentially illegal) content. Along with Backpage — a Craigslist-like classifieds site with “adult” and “escorts” sections — the Electronic Frontier

Foundation challenged the law on behalf of the Internet Archive, which catalogues millions of sites on its Wayback Machine. General counsel for Backpage Liz McDougall called the legislation “regrettable, shortsighted and ill-informed.” But it’s unlikely that pushback against Backpage is over. Kohl-Welles says she hopes to introduce another, similar bill in the coming session, which begins on Jan. 14, and says she’s working with state legal staff to come up with better language. (Though neither she nor Dan Sytman, an attorney general’s office spokesman, would give specifics about what that language might look like.) Other states, including Connecticut and Tennessee, have considered similar bills. McDougall says lawmakers need to invite sites like Backpage to the discussion to “better understand the Internet.” “The reality is it’s not possible in the Internet realm to review every bit of thirdparty content,” she says. “The result would be that what’s allowed on the Internet is whittled down to only the most innocuous content. We felt we had no choice [about challenging this bill].” In January 2012, Backpage made about $2.6 million from ads for prostitution or body rubs (ads range from $3 to $15 each), according to classified advertising consultants The AIM Group, the only group to report detailed stats about the site. “It does not require forensic training to understand that these advertisements are for prostitution,” reads a letter to Backpage signed by 46 attorneys general, including Rob McKenna, last August. “This hub for illegal services has proven particularly entic-

ing for those seeking to sexually exploit minors.” New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof called it a “godsend to pimps, allowing customers to order a girl online as if she were a pizza.” But Backpage is also a marketplace for completely legal sales — adult services like phone sex and stripping, and the type of miscellania you’d find on Craigslist. McDougall says it regularly turns over information on ads it believes to be for minors, a luxury authorities may not enjoy if advertisers migrate toward offshore sites. “It’s this sort of Brave New World,” says Gonzaga Law Professor Mark DeForrest. “As technology has arisen, legislators are trying to deal with problems that arise with that new technology. Sometimes they’re not really certain where the boundaries are around the First Amendment.” Washington has a reputation for taking action on sex trafficking issues. The state was ranked first this year in state ratings given by the Polaris Project, an advocacy group that pushes for laws against human trafficking. The ratings gauge states on whether they have a legal framework that “combats human trafficking, punishes traffickers and supports survivors.” Kohl-Welles acknowledges momentum on the issue could lag with budget issues distracting lawmakers from policy changes, but she’s not letting up. “I’d like to get to a point in society when there is no sexual exploitation, but I don’t know that that’s going to happen,” she says. “In the meantime, I will do everything I can to stop sexual exploitation of minors.” n

225 E. 3rd Ave., Spokane, WA

18 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

OLYMPIA 2013 The session starts Jan. 14. Here’s what you’ll be hearing about:

The state BUDGET will undoubtedly dominate the conversation, especially initially, as the state faces a $900 million shortfall for coming years. Outgoing Gov. Chris Gregoire proposed one budget with no new revenue and deep cuts, and another that increases school and parks spending but reduces a fuel tax break and extends an in-patient fee that goes toward Medicaid. We have yet to see incoming Gov. Jay Inslee’s take on it, but legislators will hash out the details of their own versions, meaning a slew of potential cuts and the expected “cut spending” vs. “increase taxes” arguments. And that’s also drawing attention to the state’s other huge unanswered question. A year ago, the state Supreme Court ruled that Washington was not adequately funding public EDUCATION. But how to fix that problem has come back to a deep divide among lawmakers, with some rallying behind an “education first” mantra, arguing public schools should be the state’s first priority, and others worrying that will result in too many social service cuts.

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Gov. Christine Gregoire signed anti-trafficking legislation last spring. “Some legislators are caught between two major issues,” says 6th District Rep. Kevin Parker. “[But] when we look at those issues, scholars are saying the ladder out of poverty is education.” Parker and House Majority Leader Rep. Pat Sullivan, D-Covington, both say TRANSPORTATION will be another hot topic. Unfunded projects across the state — including the North-South Freeway — will compete for money. Sullivan says the house will have a new committee focused on technology and the economy, and he expects Inslee to release a “GREEN JOBS” package. Last week, at a gathering of progressive activists, 3rd District Representative-turned-Senator Andy Billig said he’s planning to focus on ELECTION REFORM. He ultimately hopes to limit spending on initiatives, but considering constitutional protections of spending-as-speech, that’s unlikely for now. In the meantime he’s working on a bill to list the top three or five funders of initiatives on ballots and in voter guides. — HEIDI GROOVER

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Weddings Special Advertising Section

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Before the Kiss

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How to stay sane while planning the big day

ven if you set out with the best intentions, there’s bound to be some issues that pop up as you plan your wedding. That’s why we asked local wedding professionals what their tips are for undertaking the big task of planning your big day, so you can get hitched with as few hitches as possible. Oh, the Budget It’s human nature to avoid unpleasantness, especially when you’ve got more fun things to do, but skirting the budget planning process in favor of dress shopping and cupcake sampling is the easiest way to sink a wedding. “[Budgeting] is probably the most uncomfortable part,� says Jessica Sheady, who co-owns Spokane’s Soiree Event Design with her business

20 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

partner, Ali Messer. “But once you do that it gives you an idea what is feasible.� As wedding and event planners, the duo is acutely aware of how easy it is for couples to get carried away, and determining your budget early on is the best way to keep your impulses at bay. “There are so many different vendors and things that you can spend your money on, and before you know it, you can ruin your wedding,� says Messer. “A budget allows you stay on track.� If you don’t plan on hiring a wedding planner to lead you through the entire process, many will offer services a la carte, meaning you can pick and choose which elements of your wedding you could use an extra hand with — such as budget planning — and pay only for those. Soiree even ...continued on page 22

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JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 21

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22 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

offers a “Just Getting Started Package,â€? which includes a consultation, a list of questions to ask vendors, two complete event scenarios and budget help. In all, just keep in mind that the sooner you figure out the rules, the sooner you can play the game. The cupcake samples are waiting. Pinterest: Friend and Foe The DIY trend has hit the big time as more to-be-wed couples are looking to move away from having a tired, cookie-cutter wedding into one that incorporates more thoughtful and crafty personal touches. And the online community has definitely stepped up to the demand, with expansive DIY sites like Pinterest featuring thousands of adorable projects couples can “do themselves.â€? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. “It’s a great tool,â€? says Sheady, but, “you don’t realize how much time or money it’s going to take to execute [a project] with 150 guests.â€? Ironically enough, the DIY trend often masquerades as a way to save money, but in reality can make a huge dent in a couple’s budget. The cost of supplies, botched trial-runs and the sheer amount of time projects take to complete can catch couples off guard, especially since blogs and other DIY sites can make projects look much easier and more attractive than they really are. “Sometimes trying to DIY everything can be a little overwhelming,â€? says Alisa Lewis, who owns and operates Alisa Lewis Event Design out of Hayden, Idaho, as well as The Attic, which rents out vintage and antique furniture and dĂŠcor for special events. “I advise [couples] just to pick two to three things that they think are doable for themselves.â€? Because handmade crafts are so popular among her clients, Lewis has incorporated a “Guided DIY Dayâ€? as one of her services, which treats the bride and her guests to a crafting party with supplies and guidance provided by Lewis. But if the bride has a last-minute DIY disaster before the big day, Lewis has a plan for that, too. She says she offers many rentals, like table numbers, that look handmade so brides can maintain that personalized, crafty aesthetic at their weddings without their guests ever being the wiser. But how do you keep from getting wrapped up in the whimsical online wonderland in the first place? “I get less caught up on new and exciting things, and keep in mind what is classically my style,â€? says Messer, who adds Soiree also offers a DIY day for brides. Messer says that staying rooted in their own

style allows brides to incorporate a lot of what they already own into their wedding, which has the added bonus of saving money on top of ensuring a lot of truly personalized touches, not just ones trending on Pinterest. Tap Into the Grapevine Getting acquainted with the planning process through others is key — after all, you’re not gifted with the knowledge of how to throw a party for 200 people just by slipping an engagement ring on your finger. “Once you start talking to people who have been married and thrown events, they will ask you questions that will make you start thinking about things you need to think about,� says Messer. But even if you don’t have a host of newlyweds to poll, there are plenty of other ways to get valuable insight. A major untapped source are wedding vendors, says Whitney Tampien, who, with husband Jordan, co-owns Flat4 Photography — known for its signature wedding photo booth. “All vendors see everything,� says Tampien — including other vendors. By asking a trusted caterer, DJ or photographer for recommendations (or which businesses to steer clear of), Tampien says you can get an inside scoop on who does the job best. Show Off Your Flexibility It’s good to have some ideas going into the wedding process, but being too set in stone can wind up costing you. Instead, Messer suggests that when you can budge, make it clear to whom you’re working with that you’re flexible and open to suggestions. “Be open to new ideas from your vendors because they know the best ways to save you money in their niche of your event,� says Messer. “They know how to do their job best.� A lot of factors can influence prices greatly across the board, especially time. Messer says that weddings on non-traditional days of the week, like a Friday, can lower costs, so can moving the wedding date to one in winter instead of summer, where there’s less competition and demand for venues and vendors. In the end, Messer says, couples who let go of certain ideas in favor of what will work better overall don’t carry around much regret after the big day is over. In fact, Messer usually sees the opposite. “It’s better than what you’ve imagined,� she says. e

“Icons” by Ken Yuhaz

Strength in Numbers Points of Departure explores the shared journey of five different artists

“Box Top Collage” by Bradd Skubinna

“The Visitor Within” by Kay O’ Rourke and Ken Yuhaz

By Carrie Scozzaro

Kay O’ Rourke’s “Not What It Seems”

A

rtist Kay O’Rourke paints what she knows — gardening, friends and family, beloved pets, current events, poems or books she’d read, everyday ups and downs — and what she doesn’t know. Like how the inheritable form of Alzheimer’s will continue to affect her mother. Or whether or not it may someday affect her. “I started to paint,” she says, “to understand and cope.” She found a metaphor for the disease in the trickster or jack-in-thebox figure. “You get a surprise when the lid pops open,” explains O’Rourke. “[Alzheimer’s] can be sad, disturbing, challenging and illuminating.” Rather than contain the trickster, O’Rourke embraced the unknown, planning a body of work around jackin-the-boxes and then inviting other artists to “continue the journey of understanding.” “I wanted people way different from me and my form ...who I thought didn’t do ‘pretty’ pictures, but dealt with issues and art in a more conceptual way,” she says. Over a potluck at her house, O’Rourke invited artists Bradd Skubinna and Tom O’Day to join her, Katie Creyts and Ken Yuhasz to participate in a group exhibition called “Points of Departure” using “issues of the unexpected in their lives” as a point of departure. They discussed collaborating when O’Day, whose ...continued on next page

JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 23

culture | visual arts “strength in numbers,” continued... work often involves transforming and even destroying artwork — his and others — offered his own jumping-off point: what if each artist reconfigured one of O’Rourke’s artworks? Talk about unexpected. But O’Rourke was delighted and let each artist choose two of her artworks to do with as they wished. Although each artist responded differently to O’Rourke’s work, many could relate to the same issues she was experiencing. “I know the feeling of having, but not really having, a loved one,” says Yuhasz, whose older brother was brain-damaged after being attacked and left for dead. In addition to showing several neon works, he collaborated with O’Rourke to translate her painting, “The Visitor Within,” into a 3D sculpture. Creyts tried to capture the unflappable spirit and optimism of her own mother, who recently recovered from a stroke. “I tried to work with the theme of life unraveling and unexpected chaos,” says Creyts, who re-envisioned O’Rourke’s painting, “Night Play,” as a 3D sculpture/mobile. “The piece uses movement and repetition to excite the viewer’s eye to loop around the work, only to start all over again,” says Creyts, with whom O’Rourke collaborated in last year’s “Territory: Generational Triptych” at the Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture. For Skubinna — who found himself thinking about his father’s battle with cancer — collaboration wasn’t a familiar process, although using someone else’s artwork, even cutting it up, didn’t phase him. He paired a portion of O’Rourke’s rabbit drawing to create “Dreams of a Dead Hare,” a wall installation of mandala-like images made from cut up drinking straws and curled paper. “Being in control of my work has long been important,” says Skubinna, who will also exhibit several of his meticulously pieced together box top collages. Of all the participants, O’Day says he was probably the most comfortable with altering O’Rourke’s work. “It always feels good watching something go through a transformation,” he says. He reconfigured one of O’Rourke’s artworks into a triptych, although he wouldn’t reveal the specifics. That suits O’Rourke just fine. “I love the process of change,” she says. “I love being open to our differences and celebrating them. This started with my journey with Alzheimer’s, but we all deal with the unknown and unexpected and cope with it in different ways,” says O’Rourke. n

culture | visual arts

Screen Capture Lanny Bergner harnesses fire and air to create otherworldly mesh artwork By Carrie Scozzaro

L

anny Bergner is to metal mesh what glassblower Dale Chihuly is to glass: a magician. A gas-powered torch allows him to “draw” on sheets of humble stainless mesh, oxidizing it, resulting in oil-slick colors that shimmer in the light. Then, using just scissors and pliers, Bergner transforms the screen into sculptures ranging from structured geometric constructions to otherworldly, organic forms. Like Chihuly — known for his early Seaforms and complex installations of undulating glass pieces — Bergner is inspired by nature, often working in series as he continues to push the boundaries of his chosen material. With “Primordial Muse: Evolution” now on display at North Idaho College’s Boswell Hall, Bergner was inspired, in part, by 19th century naturalist Ernst Haeckel’s Art Forms from the Ocean. “I would look at the book’s images and select a nature pattern as a starting point,” he says, describing how he created images on the screen with the torch. “I wouldn’t replicate an image from the book, but rather just use it as motivator to begin the drawing process. I try to lose myself in the drawing process and let it go where it wants to go.” Suspended from the ceiling or mounted on board, some screens are displayed flat, while others become 3D sculpture. “Beneath the Waves” literally pushes the boundary of the mesh to create gentle, pod-like hollow forms that seem to float on the wall. Delicate tendrils, some with orbs of colored glass known as frit, emerge from the ends, lending the effect of anemone or nudibranch (similar to how Chihuly’s glass pieces remind viewers of jellyfish or kelp gardens). The angled edges in another series, “Beneath the Deep Blue Sea,” become more pronounced in an adjacent series of large, geometric vessels. Vessels 1, 2 and 3, for example, stand like a three-foot-tall abstracted figure, crafted by fastidiously cut and stitched sections of screen. Their austere profile, which also reflects Bergner’s interest in perfume

bottles, refers back to earlier works, such as the hanging forms he showed at University of Idaho in 2009. Bergner’s overall process shifts back and forth between these varied ways of working: geometric versus organic, loose and intuitive versus structured. “Structure, form and process is central to my work,” he says, although he also likes “moving back and forth between the more systematic structured approach and the more uncertain organic one. That way I can explore different sides of my human nature.” Bergner’s interest in working with mesh is an outgrowth of his inquisitiveness. While an undergraduate at the University of Washington, he’d learned to cast bronze and fabricate metal, including large-scale public works out of steel tubing. Later, while attending graduate school at Temple University’s Tyler School of Art in Philadelphia, a friend gave him some bronze mesh with which to experiment. Something magical happened. “The play of negative and positive space [from undergraduate work] has been an important part of my work for many years and mesh is a great material in that regard,” says Bergner. n Lanny Bergner “Primordial Muse: Evolution” • Through Jan. 24 • North Idaho College Boswell Hall, Corner Gallery • Gallery walk, 10:30 am, Jan. 24 with closing reception 5-7 pm; artist’s presentation, 1 pm Jan. 24 at Todd Molstead Library • 1000 W. Garden Ave, Coeur d’Alene, Idaho • Free • nic.edu.

Lanny Bergner’s “Neural Mesh”

Points of Departure • Jan. 11-Feb. 2 • The Art Spirit Gallery • 415 Sherman Ave, Coeur d’Alene, Idaho • theartspiritgallery.com

24 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

culture continues after snowlander

CULTUrE | DIGEST

play review K2 K

2 is a fair measure of an actor’s mettle. That explains, at least in part, why Lake City Playhouse plans on entering this one-act, two-man play, ably directed by Troy Nickerson, in this year’s AACTFest competition. Despite its focus on climbers in a life-or-death predicament on the world’s second-highest peak, Patrick Meyers’ play is light on activity and heavy on existential monologues. Therefore, it’s up to the actors (George Green as Harold, Todd Kehne as Taylor) to engage the audience with this unlikely pair of high-altitude philosophers. The set is spartan: a windy ledge at 27,000 feet. The two men cut sharp figures against the impressionist swirls of snowy white, shadows of black and cobalt blue. Harold — absent husband and father, physicist on a lifelong search for Meaning (capital M) — has broken his leg and is now immobile. Taylor — a fellow risk junkie and lawyer with social Darwinian views of society — is faced with the grim prospect of abandoning his partner to save himself. With daylight fading, the climbers’ life-threatening need for action is fraught with the opposite. They make further progress on their descent into oxygen-deprived, frostbitten madness than down the icy rock face. “Mountains are metaphors,� Harold says during his increasingly manic musings. “The higher you go, the deeper you get.� The locus of their descent gradually shifts to the heart of darkness. There are epiphanies, sometimes cruel. Meyers’ script doesn’t exactly weave these in seamlessly; the words clearly originate with the pen rather than the mouth, rendering them flowery and artificial amid the more believable frantic expletives. Both Kehne (in a markedly different role to his recent one in It’s a Wonderful

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Hotel Ruby Productions Presents Todd Kehne and George Green in K2. mike mccall photo Life at Interplayers) and Green manage to relate the more affected passages in a way that doesn’t lose the play’s tension and humanity. K2 ultimately equates the climbers’ ascent to a search for God. The quark — the “methodâ€? to the “quantum insanityâ€? that Harold claims to have sought in his education and work — manifests itself in more poetic constants that Harold and Taylor have overlooked in their adrenaline-fueled quests. And all the while, their private drama plays out on the frigid, unforgiving crags of the savage mountain; something the climbers have imbued with infinite significance but which remains impassive toward their suffering and revelations. Mountains are metaphors indeed. — E.J. IANNELLI K2 • Thu-Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 2pm, through Jan 20 • $11-17 • Lake City Playhouse • 1320 E. Garden Ave., Coeur d’Alene • lakecityplayhouse.org • 208-667-1323

For Your Consideration By Joe O’Sullivan

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BOOK | Dennis O’Driscoll is a dead Irish poet, though regrettably, he joined those ranks with his unexpected death at age 58 on Christmas Eve. His final collection of poems, DEAR LIFE, caps 30 years of books filled with droll observations of the middle-class office existence. Like this: The hidden pain of offices: a mission statement admonishing me from walls/the volatility of top brass if sales volume/for a single line falls one per cent./And customers’ righteousness, their touching/faith in the perfectibility of man. In Dear Life, Driscoll also tackles the Internet era, money and climate change. A barrel of laughs? Maybe not. But insight? Hell yeah.

MAGAZINE | Do you wish the world’s happenings were conveyed in the grainy swoosh of a graphic novel? You, dear reader, have stumbled upon fortune. SYMBOLIA, a new Tablet magazine, hooks up narrative journalists and graphic artists to produce a pulpy, altogether human manifestation of news. Six issues a year. Subscribe for the art, stay for the storytelling. If you don’t have a tablet, you can still sign up to get it in PDFs, which you can then print out on the your work computer. Sweet!

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One of the many portraits Casey Johnson captured while in Afghanistan. Casey johnson photo

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26 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

or submit it at inlander.com/getlisted and we’ll help connect you to the right people.

Revealing a different side of Afghanistan through five years of photos By Mike Bookey

C

asey Johnson is back in Spokane — his hometown — but as he hangs photos from the past seven years of his life, it’s clear that part of his mind is still back in Afghanistan. Applying adhesive to the final prints for his show at RiverPark Square’s Kress Gallery, Johnson, 33, talks about his time in Afghanistan — first as a student trekking across the landscape, and then as a professional researcher and State Department employee — with the ease and casualness which one might recount a weekend ski trip. It’s all matter of fact; no big deal. Johnson, who graduated from Lewis and Clark High School before heading off to Seattle University — then pursued graduate degrees in journalism and international law in India and Tufts University, respectively — sees himself as a writer, not a photographer. He didn’t go to Afghanistan to create a photo exhibit. He stresses this fact repeatedly. Rather, he just took some pictures of the people and places he saw along the way. “I like being able to take photographs without being a photographer,� says Johnson, affixing the most recently shot images — tile-like arrangements of Polaroid portraits — to the wall. The show is displayed chronologically across the gallery, beginning with a gorgeous panoramic shot of Band-e Amir National Park, which Johnson stumbled upon in 2005 while touring the country for a travel magazine. The images pick up two years later when Johnson returned to work as a researcher for The Liaison Office, a development and peace-building organization trying to reconstruct the embattled country. The pictures from this time also feature the people of Afghanistan, many of whom loved letting Johnson photograph them. The fact that the United States has been

engaged in a war in this country for more than a decade is not the focus of this exhibit, but it’s also not ignored. “I was wary about including photos of the war. What I’m trying to do here is not not show pictures of the war because that’s what’s happening in certain parts of the country,â€? says Johnson. “I’m not going to leave it out, though, because for years, a third of the images have to do with the war and two-thirds were everyday things you see.â€? Johnson saw more of the war’s impact when he took a job as a State Department field worker. He lived on an army base in Kandahar and shared an office with a high-level colonel. Wherever he went, he was almost always accompanied by armed troops. Again, Johnson wasn’t working as a photographer, but he nevertheless captured amazing moments and insightful images — like an eerie shot of an American soldier wading through a creek — that bring an increasingly ignored conflict to our attention. Where the exhibit shines most brightly, and the area in which Johnson seems to take the most pride, is in the portraits of the people he met. There was little hostility directed his way when he was living in Kabul and mixing among the locals, and the smiling faces and close access he documents is proof of this. “News [about Afghanistan] that makes it back here these days, especially about the war, is all casualties, violence or stories of corruption. Obviously, these are all negative,â€? says Johnson. “It was nice to shoot average street life and something that wasn’t negative.â€? n Five Years in Afghanistan • Through Jan. 25 • Kress Gallery at River Park Square, third floor

Bar History

Uncovering the storied past of the Park Inn, one of Spokane’s oldest restaurants By Nathan Brand Editor’s Note: Nathan Brand, our video intern, has been painstakingly researching and producing a documentary about the history of the South Hill restaurant and bar, the Park Inn. With the video now complete and troves of new and perhaps forgotten information uncovered, here’s a little background about how Brand pieced together this intriguing story. Have a read and then check out the video.

I

knew the Park Inn was old but I didn’t know how old. The manager took an ad out in the Inlander’s Annual Manual that said: “Serving Spokane for over 76 years.” I was impressed — but its history ended up reaching back even further than that. One Saturday night, sitting at the Park Inn’s bar after getting off work, I’d overheard the bartender telling the story of the plane crash that killed the previous owner of the Park Inn, Gordy Olsen. It was then that I started entertaining the idea of making a three-minute documentary about the place. Soon, I found myself in the library, reading about the plane crash and its strange circumstances in the July 3, 1985 issue of the Spokane Chronicle. After several more weeks in the library, an afternoon in a graveyard and a vicious, fact-checking argument on another local bar’s Facebook page, I decided that this story could not possibly be satisfied in three minutes. There was much more of a

story here — a story about a business that has operated continuously for as long, or perhaps longer, than any other dining establishment in the city. Freeman’s Park Inn Restaurant, as it was originally known, opened in 1932. In the ’30s, ’40s and ’50s, it sold burgers, fries and milkshakes and had one of the earliest drive-thru windows in the United States. In the mid-fifties, it was known as the Park Inn Café and had

Park Inn: The Untold Story

See it at Inlander.com or scan this QR code with your phone or tablet. The documentary will also be screened at the Park Inn (107 W. 9th Ave) on Jan. 13 at 8:30 pm. an ice cream parlor. It officially became a tavern in 1956, though it had been serving alcohol before then. Over the years, it’s been a popular neighborhood hangout, a refuge for those with loved ones in the nearby hospitals and a spot for off-duty nurses to blow off some steam. What’s perhaps most impressive, though, is that in its 80-year history, it was always known as the Park Inn, in one form or another, and it’s never closed down — but it

came close. According to the current manager of the bar, Ron Wieber, the Park Inn was least successful in the mid to late 1980s and was beginning to lose money. Customers stopped showing up, and the bar was literally falling apart. Then, in 1993, Wieber and four of his golfing buddies pooled their resources and purchased the Park Inn. As Greg Hougham, one of the owners, describes it, “It was just a group of guys who really enjoyed the place, and wanted to keep it going.” So, the more I learned, the more eager I was to make this film. But the project almost didn’t happen. Wieber, intensely proud of his restaurant, brought up all the times the Inlander had referred to the Park Inn as a “dive bar” in its pages. But soon, with the dust settled and assurance that I had nothing to do with any mention of the Park Inn as dive bar, Ron agreed to let me start filming. Some days I would spend an hour or two researching at the Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture, then at night I would bring my camera to the Park Inn, have a couple drinks, film things and interview people. On my way home, I would stumble around the parking lot, looking for clues in every boarded up window and door. One night I discovered a secret staircase dating back to the 1940s. I thought the Park Inn was just a bar with an interesting story or two attached to it, but I found out something different. This is a largely ignored piece of local history. The Park Inn might not only be the oldest restaurant in Spokane, but also the oldest in Eastern Washington. It is to Spokane what Hudson’s Hamburgers is to Coeur d’Alene. This video is about the mating habits of 1950s era nurses, a pizza chef that survived the Battle of the Bulge and a kind-hearted, occasionally violent owner who died in a strange plane crash. This is the story of a South Hill institution that survived longer than anyone expected, told through interviews with bartenders and customers and featuring never-before-seen photographs. Enjoy. n

A look at the Park Inn circa 1965.

JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 27

FOOD | OPENING

Did’s Pizza and Froyo is an add-on to the popular Thai Bamboo. marshall E. peterson jr. photo

Boards, Waves and Pizza Did’s brings a taste of spring break to North Division By Annemarie C. Frohnhoefer

A

bout two and a half weeks ago May and Tom Burgess, owners of Thai Bamboo, opened an extension to their North Division location. Did’s Pizza and Froyo appeals to, as the signs and menus state, “the perpetual surfer in all of us.” So while landlubbers cling to their bamboo, the clientele next door at Did’s can surf from 12 different froyo flavors (40 cents per ounce) to shave ice ($2.25 - $2.75) or bubble tea ($2.75-$4.25); they drop into some fresh vegetable and fruit juices like the Breath Freshener — carrots, parsley, cilantro, green pepper and cucumber; or The Dude — carrot, tomato, beet, green pepper, red pepper, onion and ginger ($4.95-$6.95) all before lining up to order pizza ($1.99-$3.00/slice, $8.49-$22.99/pie) teriyaki plates ($7.99), salads ($4.49-$17.99) or calzones($8.99). The walls are embellished with shiny surfboards. Beach towelesque wall panels are strewn with actual flip flops, a copy of Mad Magazine and other beach sundries. The rest of the décor underneath the high exposed-ductwork ceiling is metallic gray. The brick-lined pizza oven is in the shape of a tiki head with glowing red eyes and, yes, there are some areas decked in the all-important grass-fringe style. General manager Dane Rice refers to it all as a “surf shack theme.” He points out the arcade area and the 70-inch flat screen TVs while explaining that a large number of patrons are from Gonzaga and other area schools. The menu, as well as the décor, reflects that. Take, for instance, the calzone, filled with ricotta, mozzarella, mushrooms, peppers and onions. The one-foot-long wonder of golden pizza dough rises high above its plate. Stick a knife in it and the dough doesn’t sink all that much. A table full of dudes in their early 20s left with to-go boxes. Even they couldn’t finish the entire savory pastry. Adults who bring their younger children in for the arcade games and thin-crust pizza can order from Thai Bamboo’s menu. Beer and cocktails are also available. Come summer this spot near the park will be ready to quench any number of thirsts. n

28 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

Did’s Pizza and Froyo • 5406 N. Division St. • Open Mon-Thu 11 am-10 pm; Fri 11 am-11 pm; Sat 11:30 am-11 pm; Sun 11:30 am-10 pm • didspizzaandfroyo.com

The raid scene of Zero Dark Thirty is high-action cinema, but hardly the most compelling aspect of the film.

Sneak Attack

has transformed from a meek newcomer to a hardened operative — some call her the “agency expert” — on what sometimes seems like a one-woman campaign to hunt down and find and kill bin Laden. Chastain, who played a troubled Mossad agent in The Debt, turns in a magnificent performance as an agent who’s trained to be unemotional, and succeeds, except for the few times she’s alone. But this is not only about Maya. There are plenty of people around her, many of whom meet their demise during the search, much of which is shown in talky, are routinely chained up, waterboarded, stuffed in small behind-doors sessions, some of which happens out in boxes — OK, tortured — in order to get information out the field. Years go by, with specific dates and locations of them. The sessions are run by another CIA man, Dan flashing up on the screen, almost like chapter headings, (Jason Clarke), who is cold, cruel and mostly calm, just that will alert students of history about what’s going to there to do his job — get these people to talk, to give up happen. details that might lead them to bin Laden. Of course, everyone knows how it’s going to end, But far from the recent complaints of U.S. senators, and when the familiar-looking compound is finally from both sides of the aisle, who claim to have seen the shown, the film’s slow pace and scenes of endless talkfilm and are slamming it for its inaccuracies in portraying ing make way for some knuckle-biting what went on at those black sites, the film action. The final section is presented in ZERO DARK THIRTY something close to documentary style. neither promotes nor celebrates torture. It’s Rated R there, all right, and it’s tough to watch, and The sight from behind green nightDirected by Kathryn Bigelow in a couple of cases (according to the film), vision goggles is creepy, the atmosphere Starring Jessica Chastain, Chris it resulted in some solid leads. But it’s in the is cramped, the absence of soundtrack Pratt, Jason Clarke film because it did happen. music is unnerving. It’s easy to forget The early torture scenes provide a jumpeverything that led up to this point, ing off point in telling Maya’s story. When she first sees except for the fact that you’ve witnessed an amazing arc what’s going on she’s appalled; she can’t even look. Later in the character of Maya. But that might not even register on, she’s one of the people doing the questioning (but not in some viewers, as most will be going through feelings of doling out any punishment). Still later, years later, she excitement, exhilaration and exhaustion. n

Kathryn Bigelow makes a case for a second Oscar with Zero Dark Thirty By Ed Symkus

I

f you’ve seen the preview trailers for Zero Dark Thirty, which is military jargon for half-past midnight — the exact time Navy SEALs hit the ground at the Pakistani compound where they killed Osama bin Laden — you’ve probably got the wrong idea of what the film is really about. Oh, it climaxes with that late-night raid, shot in real time and featuring some incredibly tense moviemaking. But that’s only the last half hour of a two-and-a-half-hour film. This collaboration by director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal, who also worked together on The Hurt Locker, is much more about the almost decade-long, frustration-filled series of counter-terrorist operations that led up to the raid. Actually those first two hours focus on the CIA operative known here as Maya (Jessica Chastain), who is, in reality, an amalgam of a few agents, but for dramatic reasons is presented as one person. At the film’s start, she’s on her first assignment, just settling down, still dressed in a tailored black suit, at a CIA black site in Pakistan, where suspected terrorists

JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 29

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A Haunted House

opening films A HAUNTED HOUSE

You might surprise yourself by actually laughing — not just chuckling but letting out some deep belly laughs — at the latest Marlon Wayans flick, A Haunted House. And it appears that Wayons and friends spoof the shit out of the Paranormal Activity franchise. In Haunted House, Wayans and his lady (Essence Atkins) move into a house occupied by a demon, and contract the help of Chip the Psychic (Nick Swardson) and a priest (Cedric the Entertainer) to clean the place up. They’re not so much scared by the ghost as they are amused — making those of us who were actually scared by the original movies feel a little silly. (LS) Rated R

GANGSTER SQUAD

Gangster Squad shouldn’t work yet it does. I kinda love this movie for its cheerful, ridiculous sensationalism. I cannot decide if the garish, overblown villain is a work of genius or lunacy. Sean Penn as 1949 Los Angeles mob boss Mickey Cohen swaggers through this, roaring his felonious philosophy at his minions — that it is his “manifest destiny” to rule the entire West Coast. Who will stop him? LA Police Chief William Parker (Nick Nolte, doing a hilarious impersonation of Nick Nolte) puts incorruptible Sgt. John O’Mara on Cohen, instructing the impossibly square-jawed lawman to bring down the mobster on the sly. (MJ) Rated R

ZERO DARK THIRTY

Sure to be Oscar nominated, Kathryn Bigelow’s follow-up to her Oscar-winning The Hurt Locker tells the story of the almost decade-long search for 9/11 mastermind Osama bin Laden. The script focuses on CIA operative Maya (Jessica Chastain), whose first assignment lands her in Pakistan to help find bin Laden, and who eventually becomes consumed by the often-frustrating hunt. The film is brutal in its depictions of torture but is even more nerve-racking concerning things that might happen to the story’s heroes. The film is long and talky and tense, and viewers should be required to have a brief rest period after watching it. (ES) Rated R

now playing ANNA KARENINA

Keira Knightley plays this high-society woman who tumbles into an affair with the dashing Count Vronsky (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). Joe Wright (Atonement and Pride and Prejudice) directs this adaptation of Leo Tolstoy’s late-19th century novel about the Russian upper class. (JM) Rated R

ARGO

In November 1979, as Iranian students took over the American embassy in Tehran, six Americans managed to sneak out a back door and find refuge in the home of the Canadian ambassador. Two months later, time is running out to bring the hidden refugees home, and the intelligence community’s options aren’t good. So CIA analyst Tony Mendez (Affleck) comes up with a seemingly absurd plan. (SR) Rated R

CHASING ICE

Climate change skeptics just might change their minds after seeing this award-winning documentary following National Geographic photographer James Balog on what seems like an unreasonable quest to document, through years of time-lapse photography, the rapidly melting glacial ice in the Arctic. The images Balog captures of the crystal blue glaciers crumbling into house-sized chunks down into the frigid sea are seriously stunning. At Magic Lantern (CS)

DJANGO UNCHAINED

Seems about time for Quentin Tarantino to conquer a Western movie — seeing that he’s already done a heist flick, some samurai films, a blaxploitation homage and a war movie. Django Unchained tracks a slave (Jamie Foxx) who is promised freedom by a bounty hunter (Christoph Waltz) in exchange for helping find a pair of criminals. They also rumble with a rich Frenchie (Leonardo DiCaprio) who owns Django’s wife now. (LS) Rated R

GUILT TRIP

Seth Rogen plays an inventor who is on the brink of making it big and must travel across the country to make that happen. But things get all screwed up and pretty soon he’s toting his annoying-ass mother along for the ride. (MB) Rated PG-13

HITCHCOCK

The director of some of the scariest films in history was a portly British man known for his perfectionist style and sardonic

critics’ scorecard the New York Inlander Times

Variety

(LOS ANGELES)

Metacritic.com (out of 100)

Zero Dark Thirty

95

Lincoln

87

Django Unchained

81

The Impossible

75

The Hobbit

62

This is 40

60

Les Miserables

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tongue. And, of course, scaring the hell out of people. In this biopic, Alfred Hitchcock (portrayed by Anthony Hopkins) struggles to get funding to make his famous film Psycho come to life, leaning heavily on his wife Alma Reville (Hellen Mirren) for advice. (LS) Rated PG-13

THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY

Part one of Peter Jackson’s three-part prequel to his outstanding Lord of the Rings trilogy is solidly acted and directed, and brimming with neat visual trickery, such as combining very big folks with very small folks in a single scene. But problems abound in the telling of Bilbo Baggins’ (Martin Freeman) long, treacherous journey across Middle Earth 600 years before the oh-so-similar one taken by his nephew Frodo. (ES) Rated PG-13

THE IMPOSSIBLE

The horrific tsunami that wreaked havoc on Indonesia on Dec. 26, 2004, is the bright and frightening flame that ignites this true story of a vacationing family that’s torn apart by its devastation. Most of the rest of the film is about them trying to get back together physically while surviving physically and emotionally. Ewan McGregor is great, Naomi Watts is outstanding, newcomer Tom Holland, as their son Lucas, is one of those revelations who takes charge, both as a character and as an actor. (ES) Rated PG-13

JACK REACHER

So, here’s the deal — there’s a killer out on the loose and he’s straight capping everybody. So the cops find a dude they think is totally the guy they were looking for. But then the real killer shows up, and guess what — it’s a hit man named Jack Reacher played by Tom “Waiting for the Spaceship� Cruise and he wants to off the guy police thought was the killer. (MB) Rated R.

LES MISÉRABLES

At the end of the day, director Tom Hooper doesn’t realize that live singing on a movie set isn’t enough to re-create the majestic Les MisÊrables experience — not when so many of the people involved insist on turning it into‌ well, a movie. There are some strong performances, especially from Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman, but overall, this filmic version of the classic doesn’t live up to the potential of its source material. (SR) Rated PG-13

LINCOLN

Steven Spielberg gets back into seriousand-important mode with his look into the last four months in the life of Abe Lincoln (certain Oscar nominee Daniel Day-Lewis) as president, husband, father and dandy teller of stories. This is all about his handling of the lengthy Civil War, as well as the contentious congressional battle surrounding the Emancipation Proclamation. The film has a talky script and a terrific battery of actors. (ES) Rated PG-13

PARENTAL GUIDANCE

Do you ever find yourself wondering what the hell Billy Crystal has been up to for the last five years other than appearing in black face on the Academy Awards and receiving an apparently hefty regimen of botox to his forehead? Yeah, me too. Well, it looks like he’s resurfaced again in the comedy game, this time playing a grandfather who, along with his wife (Bette Midler), are sent to baby-sit their helicopter-parented grandkids. It’s a total generational clash with hilarious consequences. (MB) Rated PG

PROMISED LAND

John Krasinski (The Office) had an idea for a script about contemporary American identity. Dave Eggers started writing it, then left. Krasinski took it up, collaborating with Matt Damon, and both of them now star in it. If you don’t know much about the controversial business of fracking for natural gas, you will by the end of this initially refreshing but eventually too by-the-numbers take on how it’s tearing poor farm communities apart. The film remains sorta apolitical, but you soon realize that Krasinski and Damon would likely tell big companies to frack themselves. Directed by Gus Van Sant. (ES) Rated R

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS

It’s about famous folks, including Santa Claus (Alec Baldwin plays him as a Russian Cossack) and the Bogeyman (Jude Law) — there’s your good and evil — as well as the Easter Bunny (a hilarious Hugh Jackman), the Sandman, the Tooth Fairy ... the list goes on. When the Bogeyman rears his ugly head, the Guardians (protectors of children) call on Jack Frost (Chris Pine) to join them in the fight. The script is wonderfully free of any hip contemporary references, making it kinda timeless. (ES) Rated PG.

THE SESSIONS

It’s a story about a middle-aged guy paralyzed from polio (John Hawkes) who hires a sex surrogate (Helen Hunt) in order to lose his virginity, all the while consulting with his priest (William H. Macy) of the morality of it all. Depressing, right? Maybe. It’s a story that is fully aware of how uncomfortable the subject matter could be. At Magic Lantern (LS) Rated R

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

Director David O. Russell (The Fighter, Flirting with Disaster) continues exploring the humor and tragedy of the human situation in a story of two emotionally damaged people (Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence) who meet ‌ and, thankfully, don’t follow the rules of movie clichÊs. Throw in the Cooper character’s more down to earth, but still nutzoid dad (Robert De Niro, right on the mark), and the movie almost starts to sparkle. It’s just a tad too quirky for its own good, but one of the more enjoyable relationship films in a long while. (ES) Rated R

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TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D

I thought the only thing that could cheapen the excellent 1974 horror film about the hillbilly family with hefty power-tool collection would be one more remake. Nope: one step lamer would be a 3D remake, which opens in theaters this week. In this undoubtable turd of a film, a super sexy girl and her super sexy friends travel to Texas to collect a family inheritance. That inheritance? Her cousin Leatherface! Who loves killing super sexy girls who have super sexy friends! Especially in 3D! Yawn. (LS) Rated R

THIS IS 40

Comedy writer-director Judd Apatow gets a bit more serious this time out, keeping the relationship-related laughs coming. This sorta sequel to Knocked Up features two of that film’s characters – Debbie and Pete (Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd) – dealing with the happiness and strife combo of their marriage. Each is keeping a big secret from the other, and each is having some issues with their fathers (Albert Brooks plays his, John Lithgow plays hers). It’s definitely still in comedy territory, and some of it is quite raunchy, but Apatow also gives us more of a character study, and lets both Mann and Rudd shine. (ES) Rated R n

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Blue Period

After years of success, El Ten Eleven was handed some life lessons and turned them into songs By Azaria Podplesky

F

or a while there, things were going swimmingly for El Ten Eleven. In fact, when The Inlander checked in with the post-rock band in 2010, guitarist and bassist Kristian Dunn said, “Things are going well for us and they keep getting better.” At that time, they were. The instrumental duo’s fourth album, It’s Still Like a Secret, was about to be released, as was Urbanized, the final movie in Gary Hustwit’s “Design Trilogy,” rounded out by Helvetica and Objectified, all of which feature the music of El Ten Eleven. So when we asked for a status update just last week, Dunn said with a laugh, “Oh, you know, the usual. We’ve been ruling the world, having people bow to our powers and bow down at our feet, so the same.” He’s all jokes now, but both Dunn and drummer Tim Fogarty experienced

quite a few life-changing ups and downs since we last spoke — divorce, relocation and, in Dunn’s case, remarriage and having a child. But like any good band, El Ten Eleven put the changes, both good and bad, to good, creative use. They’re the inspiration behind the group’s fifth album, Transitions. Recorded at Stage and Sound in Hollywood and Dunn’s Atwater Deluxe Rehearsal in Los Angeles, Transitions was originally intended to be one 40-minute song. After a lot of reworking, that idea became the 10-and-a-half minute title track. The band also recorded, “Thanks Bill,” a song the band was playing on tour before they began recording Transitions. The song’s title is in reference to Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson and was inspired by Dunn’s wife’s sobriety. “She got sober and is staying sober ...continued on next page

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with the help of A.A. and it works really, really well for her,” he says. “If she wasn’t sober, we probably wouldn’t be together, my daughter probably wouldn’t exist so I thought that was worthy of some thanks.” Though it only took Dunn and Fogarty three days to record Transitions, the tweaking process — as Dunn calls it — took a month, followed by many more months of trying to figure out the best time to release the record on the duo’s own Fake Record Label. To make up for the time between the album’s February completion and its October release date, El Ten Eleven is finishing up three songs that will go on an EP to be released in early 2013. While recording Transitions, Dunn got to fulfill his longtime dream of playing through a vintage Vox AC30 guitar amplifier. Aside from that, though, the recording process wasn’t too exciting, as Dunn compares recording studios to factories. “You just kind of get in there and get to work and get it done, at least that’s been my experience,” he says. “The studio seems like it’s more, I don’t know, punching the clock. I mean, it’s a great clock to punch — don’t get me wrong.” Dunn says that it’s not in the studio, but at their live shows, where he and Fogarty feel emotionally connected to the music. After receiving a lot of love-it-or-hate-it responses from fans about the band’s third album, These Promises Are Being Videotaped, Dunn has been waiting to hear negative feedback about Transitions, but says that so far, many fans have told him and Fogarty that it’s their favorite El Ten Eleven album to date. Even if Transitions received mixed reactions from fans, the duo would still be happy with the album. “We make these records for ourselves, really,” Dunn says. “We want records that move us first and then if they also move other people, then that’s a bonus. So the fact that it’s doing well and people are into it, needless to say, it’s super big.” n El Ten Eleven with Nude Pop and Miss Massive Snowflake • Thu, Jan. 17 at 8 pm • A Club • $7 • 21+ • 624-3629

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34 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

MUSIC | hardcore Ahh, lifers. You gotta love ’em. Today Cook conjures the spirit of 100 Arthur Janov primal scream therapy sessions all in the name of his hobby as the frontman of Seattle hardcore thrashers, Toe Tag. In his post-Accused life, Cook played with the Black Nasty, Denial Fiend and now Toe Tag, all while concurrently owning and operating award-winning Seattle burger spot, Zippy’s Giant Burgers. Toe Tag — which also features members of Midnight Idols and a couple of Cook’s old Accused buddies — still weekendwarrior throughout the Northwest and do at least one California run a year. And, after seven years of existence, Toe Tag has amassed a small handful of releases, including a forthcoming recording they completed with the legendary producer Jack Endino last April. Cook couldn’t stop rocking, even if he tried. “Playing music now is like it was in the early ’80s because you just do it to do it. There are no expectations; sometimes you play for 10 people, sometimes 100, sometimes more,” he says. If you were thinking “where’s the burger-flipping biz analogy?” Cook has already got it figured out. “Having my own restaurant is what it was like playing hardcore in the ’80s,” he says. “There aren’t a lot of places, so if you do a good job, people will appreciate it. But now, in music, there are so many bands and so much going on, it’s hard to stand out.” At this upcoming Spokane show, Cook will also front Martha’s Revenge: a band that bills itself as the Northwest’s premier Accused tribute band. The name is an homage to the Accused’s iconic mascot, Martha Splatterhead. For Cook, continuing to play music and be in bands “is a priority and an intricate part of my life,” he says. “We rehearse at my house twice a week, crack open beers, take bong hits and play. It’s like our men’s club.” n music@inlander.com

Primal Screams

Blaine Cook (on mic) does double duty in Toe Tag and Martha’s Revenge.

Flipping burgers and screaming into microphones doesn’t ever have to get old By Kevin Stewart-Panko

“I

t’s just what I like to do. When I was in my early 30s, I was thinking, ‘When am I going to grow up?’ But I dig what I do and it’s not like I’m in a rut.”

That’s 50-year-old Blaine Cook talking. His inhuman voice led innovative hardcore/metal legends, the Accused through the 1980s, parts of the ’90s and the early 2000s. All the while, he balanced

his punk rock dervish persona with a day job as a teacher. You could bring him home to mom, and as long as mom never found out what he did on the side, everyone could live happily ever after.

Toe Tag and Martha’s Revenge play with Rutah and Autolycus • Sat, Jan. 12 at 9 pm • Mootsy’s • $5 • 21+ • 838-1570

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JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 35

music | sound advice

PUNK THE COLTRANES

T

emecula, California-based punk rock outfit, the Coltranes, say they named themselves after the man they believe to be the king of punk rock: jazz legend and master of experimentation, John Coltrane. Though the sound you hear onstage from them won’t mimic what you might have heard in 1950s jazz clubs, the Coltranes certainly evoke an experimental punk rock sound. Rooting its sound in grit and aggression, the band’s two singers, nagging crash cymbals and rumbling bass lines evoke a more guttural brand of punk. It’s frustrated, sometimes bizarre and consistently pissed at the core. Just like punk rock should be. — LEAH SOTTILE The Coltranes with Motherboy and Mirror Mirror • Sat, Jan. 12 at 9 pm • Baby Bar • $4 • 21+ • 847-1234

J = the inlander RECOMMENDs this show J = All Ages Show

Thursday, 1/10

Barbary Coast (489-4084), Armed and Dangerous Basement (218-7654), DJ Kowax Bluz at the Bend, Sammy Eubanks Bon Bon (413-1745), DJ Amoe Brooklyn Deli & Lounge (8354177), Lee Lester Bucer’s (208-882-5216), U of Idaho Faculty Jazz Group the Cellar, Kosh Cda, PJ Destiny Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos J THE Hop!, Loss Monstarz Impulse (242-7000), DJ Ramsin John’s Alley, Andy Frasco Jones Radiator, Sterling Witt J Knitting Factory, LBC Sublime Tribute, Long Beach Rehab Laguna Café, Just Plain Darin LeftBank Wine Bar (315-8623), Nick Grow J Luxe Coffehouse, Dirk Lind Marquee, MCSQUARED Moon Time, Robert Meade nYne, DJ C-Mad O’Shay’s, Open mic Phat House (443-4103), Funk Night with The Tone Collaborative Rick Singer Photography (8383333), Cahalen and Eli Roadhouse (413-1849), DJ Camo Swamp, DJ Aphrodisiac Ugly Bettie’s, Reggae Night with Real Life Rockaz Zola, Cruxie

Friday, 1/11

315 Martinis & Tapas, Andy Day J A Club, Woe, Is Me, Texas in July, Capture the Crown Bigfoot, Karma’s Circle Bluz at the Bend, Kenny James Miller Band Bolo’s (891-8995), Phoenix Bonsai Bistro (208-765-4321), The

36 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

R&B JAGGED EDGE

I

n an industry teeming with testosterone, the fellas in Jagged Edge have built a career on being sensitive. They’re the types who probably cry at the sight of babies and are always dying for a good mani-pedi. Their portfolio of commitment-heavy songs could make even the most eager single lady raise an eyebrow: “The Rest of Our Lives,” “Lets Get Married,” “Can We Be Tight,” “Head of Household” and an album called Baby Makin’ Project. Funny, though, that the group’s biggest hit came when they strayed from the stalker-boyfriend thing and made “Where the Party At?”: a song about drinking and hitting on chicks. Hilarious. — LEAH SOTTILE Jagged Edge • Fri, Jan. 11 at 9 pm • Knitting Factory • $30-$75 • 18+ • ticketfly.com • 244-3279

Brad Perry Project Boomer’s (368-9847), The Usual Suspects J Carr’s Corner, Garlands, Elan Toby, Tear Free the Cellar, Pat Coast Band Cda Casino, The Hitmen Coldwater Creek Wine Bar (208255-1912), Bright Moments Curley’s (208-773-5816), Suckerpunch DiLuna’s Café (208-263-0846), Cahalen and Eli Eichardt’s, Ron Kieper Jazz Trio Fedora Pub, Bill Bozly Fizzie Mulligan’s, Protocol Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos Hill’s Resort (208-443-2551), Sammy Eubanks J THE Hop!, Impending Doom, The Browning, Hearts & Hands, This or The Apocolypse, Thick as Blood, Fit For a King, Light Up the Sky Impulse (242-7000), DJ Ramsin

J Interplayers (455-7529), Interludes feat. Stephanie Hatzinikolis, Robby French, Mick Croon Iron Horse (208-667-7314), Shiner Irv’s (624-4450), DJ Prophesy Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center (208-457-8950), Leon Atkinson John’s Alley, Left Coast Country J Knitting Factory, Jagged Edge (see story above) Laguna Café, Diane Copeland Library Lounge, Big Hair Revolution J Luxe Coffehouse, Trickster Fox Marquee, Likes Girls, MCSQAURED Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar (8639313), Spare Parts J Mootsy’s, Belt of Vapor, Hooves nYne, DJ Mayhem O’Shay’s, Tom and Barb Pend d’Oreille Winery (208-2658545), Dead Fiddler’s Society Rain (456-5656), Just Plain Darin Red Lion River Inn (328-9526), Chris Rieser and The Nerve

Ringo’s Little Vegas Casino (924-2055), Chris Ellenberger Roadhouse (413-1849), DJ Camo Rock Bar (443-3796), Armed and Dangerous Seasons of Cda, Truck Mills Sergio’s, Luke Jaxon Band Shore Lounge (208-765-4000), Robert Vaughn Swaxx (703-7474), DJ Fusion Ugly Bettie’s, The Fail Safe Project, 33, Vial 8 Viking Bar (315-4547), The Stepbrothers Zola, Fus Bol

Saturday, 1/12

315 Martinis & Tapas, All that Jazz A Club, Kraddy (of The Glitch Mob) J Asia Restaurant (448-4499), One Match Left J Baby Bar, The Coltranes (see story above), Motherboy, Mirror Mirror

Bigfoot, Karma’s Circle Blue Spark, DJ Darkside Som Bluz at the Bend, Kenny James Miller Band Bolo’s (891-8995), Phoenix Bonsai Bistro (208-765-4321), The Brad Perry Project Boomer’s (368-9847), The Usual Suspects Bucer’s (208-882-5216), Jon Wight Cellar, Pat Coast Band Cda Casino, The Hitmen Coldwater Creek Wine Bar (208255-1912), Truck Mills Curley’s (208-773-5816), Suckerpunch Fedora Pub, Bill Bozly Fizzie Mulligan’s, Protocol Gibliano Brothers, Dueling Pianos Hill’s Resort (208-443-2551), Sammy Eubanks J the Hop!, Heaven and Hell Cabaret feat. 20XX Ichiban, The Luna Brothers Band Impulse (242-7000), DJ Ramsin

Iron Goat Brewing Co. (7470722), Don Thomsen Iron Horse (208-667-7314), Shiner Irv’s (624-4450), DJ Prophesy Jones Radiator, Kevin Brown and The Beloved Country Library Lounge, Big Hair Revolution J Luxe Coffehouse, Jake Hensley Marquee, Likes Girls, MCSQAURED J Mootsy’s, Toe Tag, Martha’s Revenge (see story on page 35), Rutah, Autolycus nYne, DJ Mayhem Red Lion River Inn (328-9526), Chris Rieser and The Nerve Ringo’s Little Vegas Casino (924-2055), Chris Ellenberger Roadhouse (413-1849), DJ Camo Seasons of CDA, Janet Johnson Sergio’s, Luke Jaxon Band Shop (534-1647), Garry Burris Shore Lounge (208-765-4000), Robert Vaughn Vintage Vines (227-9463), Stephanie Hatzinikolis Zola, Fus Bol

Sunday, 1/13

THE Cellar, Max Daniels Band Daley’s Cheap Shots, Blues Jam with Voodoo Church Knitting Factory, Randy Rogers

get listed!

Get your event listed in the paper and online by emailing getlisted@inlander. com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date. Band, Wade Bowen Marquee, Likes Girls St. John’s Cathedral (838-4277), Paul Grove Zola, The Bucket List

Monday, 1/14

Blue Spark, Open mic Bowl’z Bitez and Spiritz (8089750), Open mic Calypsos (208-665-0591), Open mic Eichardt’s, Open mic with Truck Mills Phat House (443-4103), Open mic Rico’s (332-6566), Open mic Soulful Soups & Spirits (459-

1190), DJ Fusion Ugly Bettie’s, Open mic Zola, Nate Ostrander Jam Session

Tuesday, 1/15

315 Martinis & Tapas, Kosh Chairs Coffee (340-8787), Open mic J THE Hop!, 20XX Ichiban, DJ Beauflexx and DJ Q John’s Alley, Matt Sircely and Danny Barnes Lion’s Lair (456-5678), DJ Funk J Luxe Coffehouse, Trickster Fox Marquee, DJ Paulie D Peking North (484-4321), Open mic Phat House (443-4103), Jazz Night Trinity at City Beach (208-2557558), Ray Allen Zola, Dan Conrad and Haley Young with The Urban Achievers

Wednesday, 1/16

Blue Spark, DJ Darkside Som Cellar, All That Jazz Cum Inn (924-6762), Armed and Dangerous Eichardt’s, Charley Packard Fedora Pub, Kosh J the Hop!, House Wednesdays feat. ZeCe Productions Irv’s (624-4450), DJ Prophesy Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center (208-457-8950), Matt Andersen La Rosa Club (208-255-2100), Mac Lloyd J Luxe Coffehouse, Jonathan Zaragoza Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar (8639313), Janet Johnson Ripples (326-5577), Dru Heller Trio Roadhouse (413-1849), Bobby Bremer Band Soulful Soups & Spirits (4591190), Open mic hosted by Son of Brad Swamp, Carey Brazil Zola, Island Soul

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Coming Up‌

J A Club, El Ten Eleven (see story on page 33), Miss Massive Snowflake, Nude Pop om Jan. 17 Knitting Factory, Cash’d Out on Jan. 18 Mootsy’s, Rice Queen on Jan. 18 Northern Quest, The B-52s on Jan. 19

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315 MartInI Bar & tapas • 315 E. Wallace Ave., Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-9660 aCLuB • 4061/2 W. Sprague • 624-3629 BaBy Bar • 827 W. 1st • 847-1234 tHe BeLLtower • 125 SE Spring St., Pullman • 509-334-4195 BInG CrosBy tHeater • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BIG aL’s • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-777-8312 BIG foot • 9115 N. Division • 467-9638 BLaCK dIaMond • 9614 E. Sprague Ave. • 891-8357 BLue sparK • 15 S. Howard St. • 838-5787 BLuZ at tHe Bend • 2721 N. Market • 483-7300 Carr’s Corner • 230 S. Washington • 474-1731 tHe CeLLar • 317 E. Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-664-9463 tHe CHeCKerBoard • 1716 E. Sprague Ave • 535-4007 Coeur d’aLene CasIno • 37914 South Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2467 daLey’s CHeap sHots • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 eICHardt’s • 212 Cedar St. Sandpoint • 208-263-4005 fedora puB • 1726 W. Kathleen, Coeur d’Alene • 208-765-8888 fIZZIe MuLLIGan’s • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 fox tHeater • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GIBLIano BrotHers • 718 W. Riverside Ave. • 315-8765 tHe GraIL • 4720 Seltice Way, Coeur d’Alene • 208-665-5882 tHe Hop! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 ICHIBan • 202 W. Third Ave. • 747-8877 Iron Horse • 407 Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-7314 JoHn’s aLLey • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208883-7662 Jones radIator • 120 E. Sprague Ave. • 747-6005 KnIttInG faCtory • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LaGuna CafÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 4480887 LIBrary LounGe • 110 E. Fourth Ave • 747-3371 LUXE COFFEEHOUSE • 1017 W. First Ave. • 642-5514 Marquee • 522 W. Riverside Ave • 838-3332 Moon tIMe • 1602 Sherman, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-2331 Mootsy’s • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 nortHern quest CasIno • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • 242-7000 nyne • 232 W. Sprague • 474-1621 o’sHay’s • 313 Coeur d’Alene Lake Drive, Coeur d’Alene • 208-667-4666 red LIon teMpLIn’s • 414 E. First Ave., Post Falls • 208-773-1611 SARANAC PUBLIC HOUSE • 21 W. Main Ave. • 473-9455 sCout • 1001 W. First Ave. • 747-3434 seasons of Coeur d’aLene • 209 Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 serGIo’s • 825 W. Riverside Ave. • 7472085 tHe swaMp • 1904 W 5th Ave • 458-2337 uGLy BettIe’s • 211 N. Division • 747-8940 wave IsLand sports GrILL & susHI Bar • 523 W. First • 747-0556 ZoLa • 22 W. Main • 624-2416

JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 37

Lindsay Teter and Jon Hudson in Escanaba in Love. marhsall e. peterson jr. photo

THEATER LOVE AT THE DEER CAMP

With huntin’ and beer and outhouse humor, the latest show from the Spokane Civic Theatre proves theater has a little something for everyone. Escanaba in Love is a Yooper comedy — “Yooper” as in U.P., the Upper Peninsula of Michigan — and the trouble begins when young Albert Soady Jr. disrupts the men-only tradition of the family hunting cabin by bringing along his new bride. This show is the prequel to Jeff Daniels’ previous hit comedy, Escanaba in da Moonlight, which was performed at Daniels’ own theater before becoming a movie. — LISA WAANANEN Escanaba in Love • Fri, Jan. 11 at 7:30pm, showing through Feb. 2 • Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm • Spokane Civic Theatre • 1020 N. Howard St. • $24 adults, $18 students • spokanecivictheatre.com • 509-325-2507

38 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

SPORTS RIVALRY GAMES

Last week, we told you about the Groovy Shoes showdown between North Central and Shadle Park and the effort to keep this and other high school rivalry basketball games at the Arena. If you missed that game, there are still a couple more “spirit games,” as the kids call them, both with goofball names and plenty of pep to go around. First is the Rubber Chicken game between Ferris and Lewis and Clark on Thursday night and then the squads (and the entire student bodies) of University and Central Valley battle it out on Tuesday night for the prized Stinky Sneaker. They’ve got spirit, how ‘bout you? — MIKE BOOKEY Rubber Chicken: Lewis and Clark vs. Ferris • Thu, Jan. 10 at 5:30 pm • $6 at the door • Stinky Sneaker: Central Valley vs. University • Tue, Jan. 15 at 5 pm • $6 at the door • Both games at the Spokane Arena

COMEDY LIVING LEGEND

Back in the day, Robin Williams would sweat his ass off on stage, firing off hilarious bits as he rocketed back and forth in front of enormous and devoted audiences. Now, Williams is back on tour, but he’s taking it easy. At this show, the Academy Award winner is sitting down and chatting with fellow comic David Steinberg. It won’t be sweaty, but it would be hard to imagine a scenario in which these two don’t crank out the funny. — MIKE BOOKEY An Evening of Sit Down with Robin Williams and David Steinberg • Mon, Jan. 14 at 7:30 pm • Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox • $88-$127 • martinwoldsontheater.com

get listed!

Email getlisted@inlander.com to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

COMING IN FEBRUARY!

SPOKANE

RESTAURANT WEEK MUSIC HAPPY HOUR WITH THE SYMPHONY

Going to see the Spokane Symphony Orchestra has a very classy and refined feeling to it. But sipping on something boozy while mingling with other finely dressed folk before the concert makes the evening feel even fancier. At the new “Symphony with a Splash” concert series, you’ll get all of that. This Friday’s performance will be preceded by two hours of drink and food in the elegant Art Deco Fox Theater, with some musical ambiance by local Latin fusion band Milonga. Then the orchestra takes the stage at 7 pm with a performance melding music by jazz, romantic and baroque composers of the past and present. — CHEY SCOTT

PRESENTED BY

Spokane Symphony With a Splash: Making Music Their Way • Fri, Jan. 11; happy hour from 5-7 pm, concert at 7 pm • Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox • 1001 W. Sprague Ave. • $30 • spokanesymphony.org • 624-1200

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FEBRUARY 22 - MARCH 3 MUSIC GET JAZZY

Jazz lovers won’t want to miss The Fox’s upcoming concert featuring renowned jazz trombonist Robin Eubanks, sliding his trombone so fast all you’ll see is a blur. If Eubanks’ name sounds familiar, it’s because his brother, Kevin Eubanks, was The Tonight Show’s bandleader for almost two decades. Eubanks is set to perform in Spokane with jazz vocalist Kate Reid, drummer Jeff Davis and trumpet player Tito Carrillo. Before Eubanks’ set, though, the Eastern Washington University Concert Jazz Ensemble will play a special set, “Jazz at the Speed of Light,” accompanied via live telecast by several jazz musicians located throughout the U.S. A theater-size screen on the stage will make it seem like the far-away musicians are right there with the ensemble. — CHEY SCOTT Robin Eubanks and the EWU Concert Jazz Ensemble • Sat, Jan. 12 at 7:30 pm • Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox • 1001 W. Sprague Ave. • $26.50$36.50 • thefoxtheaterspokane.com • 624-1200

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For more information | 509-325-0634, ext. 222 JANUARY 10, 2013 INLANDER 39

relationships

Advice Goddess Not Just Another Pimply Face

I’ve loved my fiancee deeply for her intelligence and beautiful personality since the day we met five years ago. However, I don’t think I was ever really attracted to her. In fact, lately, I’m increasingly repulsed by her. I hate her slouchy, tomboyish walk, and I’m turned off by her unfeminine manners. She constantly has pimples; her breath smells; and her lips are always dry and chapped. I go through the motions with her in bed, but it’s become very unsatisfying. amy alkon In all fairness, she has a great body, beautiful eyes, and a beautiful smile, and I really do love her and feel absolutely horrendous for sounding so superficial. I could never actually cheat on her, but I’ve been having thoughts of it, and that alone makes me feel terrible. —Conflicted In any relationship, there’s an inevitable erosion in hot and steamy, but you’re with the wrong woman if your sex face could easily be mistaken for your standingover-a-septic-leak face. Okay, so your fiancee could win inner beauty contests, but beauty on the inside just isn’t enough unless you’ve been reincarnated as an endoscopy camera and sent on safari down her digestive tract. Then it wouldn’t matter that your favorite thing to do in bed is roll over and realize she’s away on business or that your sexual fantasies involve picturing her fully clothed, scribbling out a purchase order for a warehouse of zit cream. Looks are especially important when getting into a long-term relationship (especially the “till death do us part” kind), because if you’re careful crossing the street, you’ll be spending a really long time looking at the person. The ultimate in well-intentioned cruelty is marrying somebody you aren’t attracted to and will come to despise as you find her increasingly physically repellant. You should instead figure out what your “type” is and only get together with someone who fits solidly into it. We all have a type — looks, smell, and behavior we’re drawn to. For some people, it spans a broader spectrum of humanity (and in some cases, farm animals). For others, the range is smaller, which is fine, as long as they accept that they’re narrowing their options — and don’t narrow them so far that the only woman they could ever go out with is Jessica Biel. The least hurtful thing you could do now would be to hop a bus back in time and sleep in on the morning you met your girlfriend. Barring an ability to bend the laws of physics, you should break up with her immediately. (Tell her the relationship just isn’t working for you anymore, not the whole ugly truth.) When you love a woman you aren’t also in lust with, you should resolve to love her only as a friend — same as you would some loyal hairy guy you know who’s also “beautiful on the inside.” Nothing comes between the two of you, either — save for the feeling that a roll in the hay with him would pale in eroticism to a roll in a river of cat vomit.

Deck The Halls, Not The Guests

At a Christmas party, a drunk man made a lewd comment to my wife. When she told me about it afterward, I got angry and told her I wanted to approach him and tell him not to disrespect her. She said that only crazy people do that and that she was sorry she’d even mentioned it. Isn’t demanding that he apologize to her the right thing to do? What man just lets this go? —The Husband Historically, men fought duels to defend a woman’s honor when her virginity was called into question. Just wondering: Is there any real worry that people at the Christmas party now suspect your wife has had sex after marriage? Sometimes you make a situation worse by taking action. This would be one of those times. The guy was drunk (which means you may have to remind him of what he said before demanding he apologize for saying it). He’s creeped on your wife only once; he hasn’t started following her around the supermarket, muttering that he’d like to jingle her bell. By chewing him out for what seems to have been a passing drunken incident, you would probably turn it into a lasting incident, creating lasting social discomfort for your wife. And as endearing as it is that you’re raring to go all Sir Lancelot on the guy, by showing your wife you can’t hold back, you’d likely cause her to hold back news of anything more emotionally charged than a spilled drink. Save your energy for offenses with a continuing negative effect, like the neighbors who leave their blindingly bright Christmas display up until Easter, making every moment you spend in your living room feel like a year being interrogated by the East German Secret Police. n ©2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

40 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

events | calendar

Comedy

Stand-Up Comedy Local comedians. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy, 2721 N. Market St. (4837300) Live Comedy Stand-up comedy show featuring Todd Johnson. Jan. 11 and 12 at 8 pm. Uncle D’s Comedy Club, 2721 N. Market St. (483-7300) Choose to Lose Live comedy improv show based on audience suggestions. Fridays through Jan. 25 at 8 pm. $7-$9. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) Safari Short-form improv games based on audience suggestions. Saturdays through Jan. 26 at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) Robin Williams Live sit-down show featuring award-winning actor Robin Williams and comedian/actor/director David Steinberg. Jan. 14 at 7:30 pm. $88-$127. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague Ave. (6241200) Live Comedy Stand-up comedy show featuring Harry J. Riley. Jan. 18 and 19 at 8 pm. Uncle D’s Comedy Club, 2721 N. Market St. (483-7300) Adult Improv Class Eight-week session emphasizing and reinforcing skills of improv comedy including creativity, spontanaeity, listening and trust. Tuesdays from Jan. 22-March 12 from 7-9 pm. $25/session or $150/8week class. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045)

Community

Volunteering Duties vary by department and time commitments. Valley Hospital & Medical Center, 12606 E. Mission Ave. (473-5639) Feed the Neighborhood Free meals provided every Thursday from 4-6 pm. Free. 7th and Catherine Ave. Post Falls, Idaho. (208-661-5166) Meal Delivery Volunteers Needed Greater Spokane County Meals on Wheels is looking for drivers to deliver meals any day on any route, Mon-Fri from around 11:15 am-1 pm. Neighborhoods in greatest need: South Hill, Sinto, West Central, Northtown. Time comittment 1-1 1/2 hours/day. Call 924-6976 for more information. Square Dance Lesssons Weekly square dance lessons open to the public. Thursdays through Feb. 21. Free. Western Dance Center, 1901 N. Sullivan Rd. (979-2607) Human Trafficking Awareness Day Community vigil to raise awareness of human trafficking in Eastern Washington. Jan. 11 from 5:30-6:30 pm. Women’s Hearth, 920 W. Second Ave. (343-5091) Family Dance and Potluck Learn circle, line and other dances called by instructors from the Silver Spurs Youth Folk Dancers. All ages and abilities welcome. Jan. 11. Potluck at 6 pm, dancing at 6:30. Free. St. John’s Cathedral, 127 E. 27th Ave. (533-9966) SCRAPS Volunteer Orientation Learn about the various volunteer opportunities available at SCRAPS animal shelter and with the SCRAPS Hope Foundation. Jan. 12 from 10-11:30 am. Ages 16+. SCRAPS, 2521 N. Flora Rd. Spokane Valley. (477-2769) BALLE Community Capital Series

Webinar presentation of a revolving loan fund in Ohio supporting local businesses through unaccredited investors. Jan. 15 from 4-5 pm. Free. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. sunpeopledrygoods.com (368-9378) Budgeting 101 Financial workshop hosted by STCU on budgeting. Jan. 15 at 6 pm. Free. Post Falls Library, 821 N. Spokane St. stcu.org/workshops Shelley Lake Open House Open house on the city of Spokane Valley’s Shoreline Master Program update focusing on public access to the Spokane River and Shelley Lake. Jan. 16 from 4-6 pm. Spokane Valley City Hall, 11707 E. Sprague. (720-5411) MLK Human Rights Breakfast 20th annual event featuring full breakfast, entertainment, featured speaker, awards presentation and more. Jan. 19 at 9 am. $4-$8. Moscow Jr. High School, 1410 E. D St. Moscow, Idaho. humanrightslatah.org (208-8823648) Martin Luther King Jr. Day Commenorative Celebration Service commemorating the civil rights leader featuring speakers Freda Gandy and Ivan Bush. Jan. 19 from 4-6 pm. Free. Holy Temple Church, 806 W. Indiana Ave. (789-3705) Rae’s Book Exchange Closing Celebrate 30 years of business before Rae’s closes its doors with coffee, refreshments and more. Jan. 19 and 26 from 10 am-6 pm. Rae’s Book Exchange, 6516 N. Nevada St. (4892053)

weekend countdown

Get the scoop on this weekend’s events with our newsletter. Visit Inlander.com/newsletter to sign up.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day Unity March Unity march celebrating the work of the civil rights leader. Jan. 20 at 10 am. Free. Downtown Spokane, starting at the Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (789-3705)

Crafts

Metal-Clay Jewelry Class Learn to make charms, pendants, beads etc. from bonze or copper clay in this introductory class. No experience needed; all tools and supplies provided. Jan. 16 and 23 from 6-8 pm. $60. gogoshebogo design, 2103 W. Knox Ave. (2096752) Bead Weaving Class Beginning class on loom bead weaving. Jan. 19 from 9 am-4 pm. $85. Registration required by Jan. 12. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way, Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (229-3655) Family Craft Night Supplies courtesy of West Plains Art Center. Jan. 19 from 6-7:30 pm. $12/family. West Plains Art Center, 111 N. Lefevre St., Medical Lake. westplainsart.com (9797604)

Etc.

A Course in Miracles Theological study group. Thursdays at 7 pm. Love Your Life Center, 1111 E. Sherman Ave. Coeur d’Alene. (208-777-1996) Country Swing Lessons Learn country-style swing dancing. Jan. 10 from 7-9 pm. $5. The Roadhouse

Country Rock Bar, 20 N. Raymond Rd. (413-1894) Apollo 13: Misson Control From the creators of “Walking With Dinosaurs,” an interactive performance of NASA’s 1970 Apollo 13 mission. Through Jan. 20; show times vary. $38-$53. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (7776253) STEM Connections Learn about the importance of STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) and what it means for the future of the area’s youth and the economy. Jan. 10 from 7:30-10 am. $10-$25. The Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. spokanestem. org (321-3625) NextGen Real Estate Investment Learn how to get started in commercial real estate with no experience, money or credit. Jan. 10 from 6:30-9 pm. Free to members, $15/non members. Red Lion Hotel at the Park, 303 W. North River Dr. (771-4448) Ancestral Wellness Series Weekly, three-month wellness program to learn how to optimize your health through whole nutrition and lifestyle improvement. Thursdays from Jan. 10-April 18. Free open house on Jan. 10 at 5:30 pm. Program cost $495. Woodlands Family Medicine, 30544 Hwy. 200, Ponderay, Idaho. (208-6279816) Undiscovered Worlds Explore what other planets exist outside of our solar system. Jan. 11 at 7 pm. $3-$6. SFCC Planetarium, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. (533-3569) NextGen REI Seminar Learn how to get started in real estate investing with no previous experience, money or credit. $39-$49. Jan. 11-12 from 9 am-5 pm. $39-$49. Keller Williams Realty, 802 N. Washington St. (771-4448) ARTS Anonymous Program for all artists who want to explore, expand and get support for their creativity, whether professional, amateur, beginning or still searching for arts expression. Saturdays from 3-4 pm. Free, donations accepted. St. Luke’s, 711 S. Cowley. (280-0325) Bridal Festival Vendors, demos, prizes and more. Jan. 12-13. $7. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (208-773-7049) Transplanting Houseplants Class Bring your houseplant in and let our resident experts tell you if it needs to be transplanted. If it does, we will provide the soil and a new pot the right size to keep your plants healthy. Jan. 12 at 11 am. $5. The Plant Farm, 14208 E. 4th Ave. (926-9397) Lego League Competition See more than 400 local students compete in the first Lego League competition building a NXT robot to solve real world problems. Jan. 12-13 from 12:15-3:30 pm. Free. EWU Computer Science/Eng. Bldg. 10. Cheney. (294-3642) Downloading OverDrive eBooks Learn how to download OverDrive eBooks to your Kindle, Nook or other device. Bring your eReader to this hands-on class. Jan. 12. Times vary. Free. Shadle Library, 2111 W. Wellesley Ave. Call to preregister. (444-5390) Oneness Blessing and Meditation Event open to the public. Jan. 13 from 1-2:30 pm. $10 suggested donation. Unity Center of North Idaho, 4465 N. 15th St., Coeur d’Alene. (208-5122243)

Intro to TV Production Learn the basics of TV production including lights, cameras and audio gear. Jan. 15 at 5 pm. $20 or free to members. Community Minded Enterprises, 25 W. Main Ave. community-minded.org (444-3088) Open House Explore career options available through the college, tour the facility and meet with faculty and other students. Jan. 15 from 11 am-7 pm. Free. Carrington College, 10102 E. Knox Ave. (532-8888) Mobius Kids Science Workshop Learn about electricity by building a circuit board to light up the room. Jan. 16 from 4-5 pm. $10-$15. Mobius Kids, 808 W. Main Ave. (624-5437)

Film

Poisoned Waters Documentary on pollution in America’s waterways. Discussion on the Spokane River to follow. Jan. 10 from 7-9 pm. Free. Indaba Coffee, 1425 W. Broadway. (939-1290) The Perks of Being a Wallflower Drama based on the novel by Stephen Chbosky. Jan. 10-13. Times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. Moscow, Idaho. (208-882-4127) Funny Face Screening as part of the Audrey Hepburn Film Festival Jan. 14 at 7 pm. $4. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. Moscow, Idaho. (208-882-4127) Life of Pi Based on the bestselling novel by Yann Martel. Jan. 17-20. Times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. Moscow, Idaho. (208-882-4127) 180 Degrees South Screening of the documentary “180 Degrees South: Conquerors of the Useless.” Jan. 17 at 4 pm. Free. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. (368-9378)

Food

Sushi 101 Learn the basic ingredients and equipment needed to get started making sushi with Chef Jim Wolters. Jan. 10 from 6-8 pm. $50. INCA at SCC, 1810 N. Greene St., Bldg. 1. incaafterdark.scc.spokane.edu/ (533-7283) Kombucha Workshop Learn how to make kombucha, a sugar-sweetened, fermented tea. Jan. 10 from 3:30-5:30 pm. $15, preregistration required. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. (368-9378) Sushi Basics Learn the basics on making Sushi from cooking rice to the seafood you’ll need in this hands-on class. Jan. 10 at 5:30 pm. $49. The Kitchen Engine, 621 W. Mallon Ave. (328-3335)

Soapmaking 101 White Moon soaps leads a workshop making soap using organic oils. Jan. 11-12. Fri from 3:30-6 pm, Sat from 11:30 am-12:30 pm. $55, preregistration required. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. sunpeopledrygoods.com (368-9378) Boutique Washington Wines Sample 8 award-winning wines from small Washington-based wineries paried with bread and cheese. Jan. 11 at 7 pm. $20, reservations requested. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) Renwood Winery Tasting Renwood Winery of Plymouth, Calif. will be sampling its zinfandel wines. Jan. 12 from 5-7 pm. $10. Studio 107, 503 Sherman Ave. Coeur d’Alene (208-664-1201) Meet the Winemaker Wine tasting co-hosted by Grande Ronde Cellars winemaker John Mueller, of Spokane. Jan. 12 at noon. Pilgrim’s Market, 1316 N. Fourth St., Coeur d’Alene. pilgrimsmarket.com (208-676-9730) Mixology Monday Learn to make three classic cocktails using vermouth and bitters with bartender and mixologist Ryan Roberge. Jan. 14 at 7 pm. $15, registration required. corkjoy.com (208457-9885) Mardi Gras Classics Learn to cook New Orleans style dishes including gumbo, a BBQ Shrimp Po’ Boy sandwich and beignets. Jan. 14 at 5:30 pm. $39. The Kitchen Engine, 621 W. Mallon Ave. thekitchenengine.com (328-3335) Vegetarian/Vegan Breakfast Learn how to reinvent classic breakfast favorites without eggs, dairy, meat or refined sugar. Jan. 15 at 5:30 pm. $39. The Kitchen Engine, 621 W. Mallon Ave. thekitchenengine.com (328-3335) Chef’s Favorites from Asia Learn to cook dishes from Thailand, Korea, Japan and Vietname with Chef Steve Geving. Jan. 16 from 10:30 am-1:30 pm. $25, reservations required. Blanchard Community Center, 685 Rusho Ln. (208437-0426) Duck 101 Coeur d’Alene Casino Exec. Chef Adam Hegsted shares tricks and techniques to prepare duck meat. Jan. 17 from 6-8 pm. $65. INCA at SCC, 1810 N. Greene St., Bldg. 1. incaafterdark.scc. spokane.edu/ (533-7283)

Music

Spokane Symphony Symphony with a Splash: Making Music Their Way. Jan. 11 at 7 pm. Bar open from 5-6:45 pm. $30. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague Ave. (624-1200)

interLUDE “An Evening of Acoustic Indie Music” concert featuring Stephanie Hatzinikolis, Robby French and Mick Croon. Jan. 11 at 7:30 pm. $10. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard. (455-7529) Leon Atkinson Classical guitar concert. Jan. 11 at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. The Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. Williams St., Post Falls. thejacklincenter. org (208-457-8950) Robin Eubanks Concert by renowned jazz trombonist with an opening performance by the EWU Concert Jazz Ensemble accompanied via simulcast by musicians located around the U.S. Jan. 12 at 7:30 pm. $25-$35. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague Ave. foxtheaterspokane.com (624-1200) Spokane Youth Symphony “Musica Latinoamericano” concert featuring works by Latin American composers. Jan. 13 at 4 pm. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague Ave. foxtheaterspokane.com (624-1200) Tuesday Night Music Series Free concerts. Tuesdays through Jan. 29 from 5-6:30 pm. Jan. 15, Ian Skavdahl; Jan. 22, Joan Alexander; Jan. 29, Brian Gill. Moscow Food Co-op, 121 E. Fifth St. (208-882-8537) Matt Andersen Blues guitar concert. Jan. 16 at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. The Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St. Post Falls. (208-457-8950)

sports

The Flying Irish Run Weekly 3-mile run. Thursdays at 6 pm. Free. Red Lion River Inn, 700 N. Division. flyingirish. org Rubber Chicken Annual Greater Spokane League basketball game, Lewis & Clark vs. Ferris. Jan. 10 at 5:30 pm. $6. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com (279-7000) GPS Navigation Basics Learn the basics of GPS navigation and how to pinpoint your location, mark waypoints and more. Jan. 10 from 7-8:30 pm. $30-$50. REI, 1125 N. Monroe St. (328-9900) Spokane Table Tennis Club Ping pong club meets Saturdays from 1:304:30 pm and Tuesdays from 6-8:30 pm. $2/visit. Salvation Army, 222 E. Indiana Ave. (456-3581) Spokane Chiefs Hockey game vs. Kootenay Ice. Jan. 12 at 7 pm. $9-$21. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com (279-7000) Spokane Table Tennis Ping pong club meets on Saturdays from 1-4 pm and

Mondays and Wednesdays from 7-9:30 pm. $2/visit; open to the public. North Park Racquet Club, 8121 N. Divison. spokanetabletennis.com (768-1780) Stinky Sneaker Annual Greater Spokane League basketball game, University vs. Central Valley. Jan. 15 at 5 pm. $6. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com (279-7000)

Theater

K2 Drama. Through Jan. 20. Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $11-$17. Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden Ave. lakecityplayhouse.org (208-667-1323) Escanaba in Love Comedy prequel to “Escanaba in da Moonlight.” Jan. 11Feb. 2. Thu-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $18-$24. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com (325-2507) The Right to Dream Performance by Living Voices of Seattle on the 1950s60s Civil Rights Movement. Jan. 16 at 7:30 pm. $5-$10. Washington State University Jones Theatre, Pullman. ticketswest.com (335-8522)

Visual Arts

Kolva-Sullivan Collection Ceramics Exhibit featuring ceramic pieces from the Spokane-based Kolva-Sullivan Gallery’s vast collection. Through March 30. Opening reception Jan. 17 from 6-8 pm. Free and open to the public. Museum of Art/WSU, Washington State University, Pullman. (335-1910) Explorations 13 Art showcase featuring work by local college students at EWU, Gonzaga, NIC, SFCC and Whitworth. Exhibit runs through March 29. Artist reception Feb. 1 from 5-9 pm. Gallery hours Mon from 8 am-9 pm, Tue-Fri from 8 am-5 pm. Free. Chase Gallery at City Hall, 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. spokanearts.org (321-9614) Art Sampler After-school workshops for students to explore art through projects inspired by famous 20th century artists. Fridays, Jan. 11-25 from 4-5:30 pm. $15/class. Ages 8-12. Spokane Art School, 809 W. Garland Ave. spokaneartschool.net (325-3001) Gerry Queener North Idaho wildflower photography exhibit. Jan. 11-Feb. 6. Artist reception Jan. 11 from 5-6:30 pm. Free. Moscow Food Co-op gallery, 121 E. Fifth St. Moscow. (208-882-8537) Points of Departure Artist showcase featuring the work of Kay O’Rourke, Katie Creyts, Tom O’Day, Bradd Skubinna

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Band, Bar & Banter 5-6:45pm ~ Orchestra Performance 7-8pm Tickets/Info 509.624.1200 www.spokanesymphony.org

and Ken Yuhasz. Jan. 11-Feb. 2. Artist reception Jan. 11 from 5-8 pm. Gallery open Tue-Sat from 11 am-6 pm. The Art Spirit Gallery, 415 Sherman Ave., Coeur d’Alene. (208-765-6006) Artist Night See work by local artists and designers Kadra Evans, Lynne Blackwood, Kristy Carey and others during the store’s new Second Saturday artist night series. Jan. 12. Free. Glamariata, 911 1/2 W. Garland. (216-4300) Portrait Drawing Learn the proportions and anatomy of the human head in a workshop taught by artist Tom Quinn. Jan. 12 from 10 am-2 pm. $40. Spokane Art School, 809 W. Garland Ave. (3253001)

Words

Naked Lunch Break Weekly literary open mic and reading series through winter quarter with free pizza. Open to all; participants must sign up to read three minutes of material. Thursdays through March 21. Free and open to the public. Riverpoint Campus, 600 N. Riverpoint Blvd. (368-6557) Iyad Burnat The leader of the nonviolent Popular Resistance in Bil’in, Palestine, will speak about his experiences living in the occupied West Bank and his strategies for non-violent resistence. Jan. 11 from 7-9 pm. Unitarian Universalist Church, 4340 W. Fort George Wright Dr. pjals.org (838-7870) James B. Hunt Author presentation of “Restless Fires: Young John Muir’s Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf in 186768.” Jan. 12 at 2 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) Danger! Live Writers Local reading series featuring local writers Iris Gribble-Neal, Tim Johnson, Jonathan Potter and Lynn Rigney Schott, hosted by Dennis Held. Jan. 14 at 7 pm. Free. 21+. Jones Radiator, 120 E. Sprague Ave. Inland NW Writers Guild The Writers Guild invites new and established writers to bring ideas, questions and more to share with other writers. Jan. 16 at 6:30 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) Myth-information Planned Parenthood health educator Cindy Fine debunks myths about birth control and answers questions. Jan. 16 from 12-12:50 pm. Free. EWU Monroe Hall, 526 Fifth St. Cheney. (359-2898) n

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Starbucks on 29th New Years Day, I saw you talking with your friend around noon. You were wearing a nice scarf and tall boots. I hope you come back. I’ll be there if you let me know at sittininsb201@yahoo.com Ugly Bettie’s 12/28. Me: Tattoo’d girl watching a friend sing/play guitar. You: Handsome man with a lovely hat. We smoked, acquired fake accents, talked of ex-fiancÊ’s and I tried to teach you how to twostep. I forgot to get your number because my mother wandered off. Thank you for keeping me company! Freya Fred Meyers To the girl that was parked next to me on Christmas Eve at about 2:30. We were both checking out each other as I was driving off. Should of went back into the store but was in a rush. This is a long shot but if you see this and felt the same, I’d like to get to know you.

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The Revolver We met at the Revolver, when I made a mistake and thought you were someone else. You were looking at the ‘I Saw You/You Saw Me’, and you said that you always wanted to find yourself in one of those articles. I later saw you at Monterey Cafe singing to Sir Mix-a-lot, and I didn’t stay long enough to ask you out. Let me buy you a coffee. Northside Front Desk I can’t help but notice you whenever I walk in. You greet everyone with a warm

You Saw Me RE: Fred Meyers On Francis on 12-18-12 around 6:30 p.m. You were leaving and I was just going in. I gave you a very beautiful smile. You noticed that I had the most perfect, beautiful eyes, dark hair and that I looked very well put together. You had on a Harley coat and had gray beard and you smiled back at me. I made your evening with my perfect smile. You said “Thanks�. I am wondering if it is me that you are talking about as I did notice you also. I saw you and smiled at you cause you looked like you could use a smile. Anyway I was wondering if you would like to get together for coffee or tea sometime as I do not know if I will see you at Fred Meyers again as it is going to be closing on January 31, 2013. How about Tuesday the 15th of January around 6:30 p.m. Wear your Harley coat. I will meet you back there then. Let’s meet inside at their coffee shop inside to the right. Hopefully that will still be there then as they are taking a lot of things out of the store. I will be there then. I may be walking around the store with a cart until I see you there. I hope you see this page and I hope I see you again there.

Cheers Our Family I saw you tall dark and handsome. You were walking down the hall of the Holy Family hospital on the fourth floor on December

Baby Baby Baby You really do it for me. And even though ya know it already I’m gonna say it again ‘n again. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I’m yours tried, tested and true, a gootwon. And if you’re a bird, I’m a bird, so yous a gootwon too. But you already know that. You’re all I ever wanted. Muah Thanks Mom! Joan, you soooo rock! Thanks for all of your support during my transition back to Spokane. It’s good to be back and it’s great to be your son! Love ya! JR To My Beautiful Wife! “the last 3 years have been the best ever! You would give your last penny to help someone less fortunate and there are few children who can say they have a mother as loving and caring as you are. I hope you know that I appreciate everything you do for me and our kids, even though you do not hear the words, “�Thank you�� nearly enough. I love you, Dawn!!�� Honey Bunny These last few months have been the greatest. I know that we are meant to be and God guided us to each other’s hearts. I am thankful every single day. Now we get to ring in the New Year together, celebrate your birthday, and get our own place! I am in complete bliss with you. Thank you for everything you do, and thank you for being. I love you so much! Happy birthday! Baby Cakes Dwittle Here I first saw you 6 months ago, We have shared so many laughs, adventures, late night’s, You have became my best friend, lover, and so much more, when I’m with you my world is complete. I am so thankful you are in my life Andy. happy six months. Random Act Thank you to the silver truck in front of us at Starbucks. It was a great surprise that you paid for our order, and yes- we passed it on. With the economy what it is random acts of kindness are rare. Bravo. Safe Drivers Thank you to all the safe drivers out there! Those of you who choose to drive with courtesy are not unseen. Some people (like myself) recently moved here and have trouble driving on ice/snow, so when someone actually doesn’t

Roger High School Students Thanks to all of the students for the thousands of pounds of food they collected for the Women’s & Children’s Free Restaurant in December. The food collected during this food drive will help to feed many women and children in Spokane this year who would otherwise go hungry. Your generosity is much appreciated by the board, staff, volunteers and clients of the Restaurant. Thank you so much, you are the best. My Man! Cheers to the only man I could ever want to grow old with! The past 9 years have been quite the journey and I wouldn’t ask for it any other way. I am so proud of you! Your accomplishing all that you have ever dreamed and have worked so hard to achieve it! I love you and you’re going to be a great father!! Looking forward to what the new year will bring us. Love~ shnookums. PS: marry me! Good Samaritan A big thank you to the person who paid for mine and my son’s meal at the Satellite on 12/23. Going to the Satellite to eat every Sunday is part of our weekly outing, your actions mean a lot to me and made my week. Also, big shout out to Satellite staff for always being so accommodating to us. Happy 33rd Anniversary You: parked in an old station wagon flipping a coin with a friend to determine who was gonna try to pick up the girl. Me: Sitting on the curb outside Rogers Cafeteria in October 1974 at the Sadie Hawkins Dance (the first and last dance I would attend to date) You, won the toss and approached me only to discover a 16 year old under a straw hat with long braids, painted on freckles and ropes holding up baggie jeans, crying because her date left her once the dance started. Me, two weeks later during class change in a crowded hall I recognized you, jumped up and shouted your name. Now, 38 years later we are days away from our 33rd Anniversary. It would seem to be somewhat of a Story Book Romance of high school sweethearts. However, it is not a Fairy Tale. Rather one of hard work, committment and growing love writing one chapter at a time to reflect all things worthwhile and lasting. You are an amazing friend and rare man of good character. A Strand of Three Cannot Be Broken! Forever My Love- Happy 33rd Anniversary Big Guy!!!

“I Saw You� is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

Jeers

Jeers

Jeers

Re: All Right Everyone I just want to let you know that not everyone pees on their hands when they use the bathroom. My penis happens to be the cleanest part of my body so I actually wash my hands before I relieve myself, not after.

on sidewalks and puddles near sidewalks are common. I know it’s hard to comprehend, but some people do still use them to walk on. So quit being lazy and shovel the snow and ice, while driving please actively avoid splashing people on the street by driving around or slowing down when a puddle is present. Drive safe and have a great day. Thank you.

Remember when you move your accounts to another bank ask them about the travel rules. I am sure they would advise you to make a call before you leave. Too bad your Subaru didn’t run out of gas. It might have taught your rude @$$ a lesson. Don’t blame us for protecting you as a customer!

I’m Sorry I still don’t know what I did to deserve to be completely shut out of your life but, I’m sorry. You were the most important person in my life and now you’re gone. I miss you more than you can ever know and I’m so sorry. After all this time without you, my life hasn’t gotten any easier. I think about you all day and all night. I’ve tried so hard to move on, but I just can’t. No one will ever come close to you. I miss everything about you. I’m sorry if I never told you, but you meant everything to me and you still do. I hope when you think about me it makes you smile. Even though living without you makes me sad I still smile when I see your face in my mind. I’m sorry. RE: Homelessness This is in response to the person who wrote a “poem� about homelessness in Spokane. I respect your right to be offended by “thugs� prowling the streets, dealing drugs and begging for food. But if they were successful drug dealers I’m sure they wouldn’t need to beg for food. I hope you respect my right to have the opinion that you’re an intolerant, conceited, judgmental fool. Have you ever considered the fact that these homeless people have histories behind them you could never fathom? Your mother could be homeless. What if her home owners insurance lapsed and she lost everything in 30 minutes and was recently laid off. What if your Uncle started to develop mental issues and had no insurance? Forced to live on the streets. And you trying to make your own way supporting yourself or family, living paycheck to paycheck, you won’t help, but judging by the ignorance of your writing you don’t make much money to do so anyway. Were you so sheltered for your whole life that now the mere sight of a homeless person disgusts you? Are you really that screwed up? You think that homeless people need to be forced out of town? Why not try to help them. Volunteer at the mission. Talk to these “Thugs�. Is your next course of action to round them all up and put them in concentration camps? Look this song up “Another Day In Paradise� by the Great Phil Collins Moronic Spokane Drivers When you’re driving, you need to put down your phone, ignore the kids in the backseat and leave the radio alone. Also, please wait to eat, put on your makeup, or anything else other than drive and pay attention to your surroundings. Whenever you turn or exit a parking lot watch for pedestrians. On 12/21 I was almost hit by an idiot driving a late model green pickup while crossing Nevada and Lyons. If I hadn’t been paying attention I might be dead or seriously injured, the driver would have a lawsuit, ticket, and possible jail time. Is it really worth it to be in such a hurry or so distracted? Also, during this time of year snow

Re: All Right Everyone This is in response to the Jeers Section of December 20, 2012. You wrote about washing hands after using the restroom. I for one wash my hands prior to peeing, to avoid touching my junk with whatever I’ve touch prior to answering nature’s call. I was taught not to pee on my hands, therefore washing afterward is not nessesary, especially working outdoors.You should worry more about yourself. Parking Lot Dings Cheers to the driver of the SUV with the vanity plates in the parking lot of the General Store. After your son left a large dent and some of your charcoal grey paint on my car your response was “How’s my $60,000 car?� and “Do you have kids? Shit happens, this is a parking lot.� I hope you realize this is real life, not the Real Housewives of Spokane, and that driving off after damaging someone’s property without leaving your contact information is not a good example to set for your children. I can only assume you were having a terrible day and that life is not as good as your vanity plates and late model SUV would lead the world to assume. Cheers to you and yours during this holiday season, and may your rambunctious offspring close the doors to your vehicle with a good deal more care. RE: Complaints Cheers to you angry member of the North YMCA for giving a good laugh. You’re right; the YMCA should just demolish and rebuild the locker rooms to your satisfaction. Or better yet, how about just get rid of them altogether so there’s no place to change at all. Maybe you should have submitted blueprints to create your dream locker room prior to the Y being built. You should be more grateful for what the YMCA offers to our community. And a big Cheers! To my fellow members of the YMCA who don’t complain and aren’t high maintenance. Along with the staff who are helpful and kind; the facilities are perfect just the way they are! RE: Bank Bashers going to Canada. FYI the rule of blocking your card is for your safety. I work in Bank Security it is simple, take a few seconds to make a call and let your bank know you are leaving town. Simple rule for you idiots leaving (especially leaving the country). If you are going to travel 100 or more miles away from your zip code you need to call in. Otherwise when transactions start popping up in other states or countries and we don’t know that is you, we shut them down to protect you! I hope you learned your lesson and get your panties out of a bunch.

Jeers To Me for making you feel the way you do, you, our 3 kids and the others we have helped with over the years, are the only things that matter in my life. I know I have lost some of their respect and I am trying to rebuild with all of them. With you I am still trying. Some days are good, some are great, some are real bad. I am proud of you for even trying. No matter how this thing called life turns out, I will never forgive or forget what I have done to you and our kids. I now only hope for your health and happiness and hope someday you won’t have to think about trust and sadness. I love you now and for ever. So jeers to me for all the mistakes I have made over all these years! I am truly sorry. Gentle Customer we truly appreciate the fact that you shop at our grocery store, we understand that at the end of a very long day, we all get a little tense and are ready to get home, slip into our casual clothes, slippers, and relax. Please bear in mind though that your irritation that we seem to not be working fast enough, is in fact an error. We have to be very precise in certain transactions, our very livelihood depends on 100% accuracy. I can only hope that if and when you are the age that my customer is, you will also hope that the person behind you will be patient and not keep making such an uproar that I would have been delighted to tell you to “Shut Up!� However, a cooler head prevailed and I smiled and said politely, “I’ll be right with you, Sir, thanks for waiting.� Maybe patience should be your New Year’s resolution. Stolen Cast Iron Bathtub on 10th. To the Team of pinheads who came onto my property and stole the antique cast iron bath tub painted red underneath. My neighbor got photos and a license number. Do you really want to go to jail over this? Just bring it back and nothing will be done. Off Street Parking Unfortunately, many people in Browne’s Addition have to park on the street. This is fine when everyone parks the way they are supposed to park. When one car parks in a space that is meant for two cars, it is very frustrating to be the person who gets home late, on a really cold night, only to have to park two blocks away because you don’t have the intelligence to leave room. If you don’t want people parking near you, don’t live in Browne’s. Until the city puts angle parking on the wider streets show some common sense and decency, especially during the cold weather!!

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The developer of the Monkey Island game, seen above, turned to Kickstarter for money to make a new game — and he raised $3.3 million.

Get the Party Kickstarted Crowdfunding’s future depends on a brand-new mindset for spending money By Daniel Walters

B

ack in January 2008, a small, independent computer game developer, Tales of Game’s Studios released a very weird videogame. Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa was made in the vein of the early Final Fantasy games, except that you played as basketball superstar Charles Barkley in a post-apocalyptic world where B-ball has been outlawed and the painful events of Space Jam linger. This year, the small team of developers went to Kickstarter, a fundraising website, asking the collective Internet for $35,000 to make an even more bizarre and ambitious sequel. The collective Internet, however, had better ideas: By the time the fundraising period ended this December, online donors forked over more than $120,000. “The money is going to hit us over the next few days,” says Liam Raum, producer of the game. “There’s not really much to it. It just gets dumped into my account, and then we just go for it.” That simple. It’s called crowdfunding — and it’s easy to understand all the hype. Tim Schafer, the quirky developer behind silly ’90s point-and-click games like Monkey Island, asked for $400,000 to make a new game and got $3.3 million. The formerly-from-Spokane duo behind web-comic Penny Arcade raised $528,000 to turn their site ad-free. For the creators, it’s a secret passageway past penny-

46 INLANDER JANUARY 10, 2013

counting publishers, past equity-hungry investors, past recession-weary loan officers. Artists can take their pitch to directly to The People. And the good people of the Internet — land of a million weird niches — will donate to practically any old weird cause. But all that promise comes laden with unexplored risk. The satirical Onion News Network jokes of “an insidious new Internet scam called Kickstarter has already conned thousands of unsuspecting victims into donating money to so called ‘important personal projects’ that in actuality are just terrible useless garbage.” Crowdfunding hovers in this uneasy area between charity and investment. “It gets all the way to the word ‘investment’ without actually covering it,” Raum says. Real investors would get an actual percentage of the company — if the company succeeds, they make more money. Most crowdfunding projects, however, just offer “rewards” for donating certain amounts: T-shirts, posters, an in-person lunch with the creator and usually a copy of any product being created. “Kickstarter does not guarantee projects or investigate a creator’s ability to complete their project,” the site’s FAQ says in the ironically titled “Accountability” section. “The environment is there for a class-action lawsuit,” says Raum of projects failing to fulfill their promises. “There should be some sort of accountability.” Until then, he suggests that people could probably do with pledging a little more conservatively.

In two years in Spokane, 23 projects have been successfully funded on Kickstarter, including albums, books, clothing lines, graphic novels, a TV show parody and even a bakery selling beer cupcakes. Two local musicians, Karli and Caleb Ingersoll, used Indiegogo, another crowdfunding site, to raise money to create the Bartlett, an all-ages music venue. After a one-month campaign, the Bartlett fundraiser had raised a total of $21,000 from 230 donors. Caleb Ingersoll, in a phone call last week, explained why he didn’t just get a loan: “About a year ago, we talked to some banks about it. And they basically were just like, ‘There’s no way.’ We’re young, we’ve never been business owners before.” They had experience working for that sort of business, but “we didn’t have startup capital, we didn’t have any downpayment, really. … We’re young, and we can’t wait 10 years to save up the kind of money to make it happen,” he says. Thanks to crowdfunding, however, they’ve now got cash — and recognition. “Now we have something behind our words and our dream,” Ingersoll says. He says real estate brokers and developers have begun to treat them more seriously. Yet, there’s a reason why banks don’t usually loan to would-be business owners armed just with hope. Businesses often fail. In Spokane, all-ages venues in particular haven’t always had the best luck. That’s the trick: As crowdfunding becomes more pervasive, it might take a philosophical shift in how we view spending money. For crowdfunding to really work, people have to learn a third mindset, separate from I-better-get-my-money’s-worth capitalism or my-donationbetter-help-other-people charity. It’s got to be about charging recklessly ahead in the pursuit of other people’s dreams — damn all the scams, naiveté and failure. That may be easier for the young, always a bit better at freely parting with their money. “The older generations look at crowdfunding almost as if it’s a cop out,” Ingersoll says. “The younger generations understand.” n

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