Inlander 02/06/2014 by The Inlander

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FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 5

COMMENT | CONGRESS

Spokane in the Spotlight

FAMILY LAW

Cathy McMorris Rodgers put Eastern Washington on the national political map last week; the reviews were not kind

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he was not nutty, but I believe she was trying to sell me a dinette set.” That was Esquire magazine’s Charles Pierce on Cathy McMorris Rodgers’ Republican response to the president’s State of the Union speech last week. Then the reviews got worse. Her story about “Bette” from Spokane? This malarkey brought out the boo-birds from across the country — and a front-page debunking from the SpokesmanReview. Her performance should be cause for concern inside the GOP leadership: If, as reported, they have the intention of parading her out under the national media spotlight — “See, America, we have a female leader, too!” — the question becomes, is it only a matter of time before they see another Sarah Palin-like moment? First time on the national stage, and she manages to come off as vacuous while creating questions from her oft-told personal churchgoing, orchard-girl story. Did she live in Canada until she was a teenager, with its Canadian-style government-run health care? Does she really believe the world was made in six days and that the “man-made” theory of evolution is phony; that God made the earth 6,000 years ago? (That’s what Pensacola Christian College, her alma mater, has on its website under “Articles of Faith.”) Do we want to buy this dinette set?

ll this will sort itself out, but the New York Times op-ed column written in response by Spokane-bred Timothy Egan has drawn the most attention. His column, which focused on her policy positions, drew more than 500 comments. Here are some representative responses: “What makes this story tragic for the country, as well as for Eastern Washington, is that this is the district that sent Democrat Tom Foley to Congress for 15 two-year terms, 1965 to 1995.” (Virginia) “As much as Ms. McMorris Rodgers pains Democrats with her vacuous platitudes, I am pained by an uninformed electorate that keeps electing those without their interests at heart.” (Massachusetts) “Although her speech was substance-free, Ms. McMorris Rodgers, continuing the unrelenting GOP attack on the Affordable Care Act, did offer us ‘Bette,’ a Spokane constituent who, the congresswoman reported, ‘hoped that the president’s healthcare law would save her money — but found out instead that her premiums were going up nearly $700 a month!’ Unsurprisingly, the claim couldn’t withstand even a whiff of scrutiny.” (Wisconsin) “I have relatives in Cathy McMorris Rodgers’s district. …their chief source of income and health care (beyond Social Security and Medicare) is a union retirement pension and health

care plan. You cannot get them to see the irony in this.” (Connecticut)

gan’s criticism of McMorris Rodgers’ record as a congresswoman can be summarized like this: She represents one of the neediest districts in the state, yet votes against the needs of the neediest — her constituents. For example, we know that she voted to seriously reduce Community Development Block Grant funding — Spokane has 10 needy, CDBG neighborhoods. We know that she avoided voting on the DREAM Act even though the important agricultural interests in her district rely on immigrant labor. She voted to cut SNAP funding (food stamps) at the same time she voted to continue providing farm subsidies. (Note: America is spending $20 billion more a year just in Afghanistan and Iraq than on the total annual SNAP program.) With all this — her display on national television, together with her record of voting against interests in her district — wouldn’t you think that local Democrats could amount a serious challenge for once? She has run and won five times. Two of the five candidates — Don Barbieri and Peter Goldmark — had the name recognition and experience to at least make a run of it. But Barbieri didn’t successfully campaign outside the city of Spokane. Goldmark? Well, Peter Goldmark was, and still is, the perfect profile of a successful candidate in the 5th District. He’s a rancher with a Ph.D. from the University of California at Berkeley, but back in 2006? He campaigned against her on the “hot button” issues of veteran’s benefits and her failure to push canola oil. I kid you not. And McMorris Rodgers’ most recent challenger, Rich Cowan? Instead of campaigning against her, Mr. Cowan went out and won the “Mr. Congeniality” award. To be sure, 5th District Democrats don’t get much help from the national or state parties, and that’s a big mistake. Back in 1994, the GOP seized on public unrest to nationalize the 5th District election. With the assistance of Ed Rollins (Ronald Reagan’s version of Karl Rove), Republicans focused not so much on Foley but more so on defeating the Speaker of the House. It was a hugely symbolic win, and Republicans made the most of it. Defeating Cathy McMorris Rodgers, while not of the same magnitude, would likewise have national significance. But first, the Democrats need a candidate who has name recognition — and who will actually make a case. 

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Progress Reporting BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

REPRESENTING DEPUY & STRYKER HIP IMPLANT CASES PERSONAL INJURY AND MEDICAL LAWSUITS INCLUDING:

s regular readers know, here at the Inlander we work to bring the Inland Northwest all kinds of great stuff. Right now you can go online (Inlander.com/bestof) and vote in our 21st annual Best of the Inland Northwest readers poll — the original local poll, and the biggest of its kind. In a couple of weeks, you can go out and enjoy Inlander Restaurant Week, an event we’re bringing back for year two with the help of Visit Spokane and 74 of your favorite local restaurants. Every week, you can find out about what concert to line up for, the latest local microbrew to taste, or if someone “Saw U” in line at Thomas Hammer and wants to connect. But starting this week we hope to remind you of our most serious function: journalism. In this week’s issue, you can read the first two stories in our year-long series on mental health, “State of Mind.” Our editor, Jacob Fries, and his team have been talking about this project since last August, and planning in earnest since October. Our reporters have been out interviewing sources and investigating local institutions for the past two months. Shoe-leather reporting — sounds almost quaint in this era when the traditional idea of journalism is under siege. As BuzzFeed’s short-attentionspan bait — “LOL!” “Take The Quiz!” — is hooking big numbers online and while traditional providers of solid reporting are shrinking, we’re still devoted to the cause. Special thanks to Doris Kearns Goodwin for reminding us all of the power of the press, via her new book The Bully Pulpit. She celebrates the exposés of social injustices published in McClure’s and Collier’s back at the turn of the 20th century. America changed because of that muckraking journalism — for the better. It’s an inspiring reminder of our mission. We devote significant resources to our news reporting — every week in our award-winning News section, and in series like “The Injustice Project” and now “State of Mind.” These kinds of stories take time and skill, and we are committed to putting them in front of you. You should also know that we don’t intend to wallow in the mess our mental health “system” has become; we want our reporting to lead to solutions. This is a crisis: Too many of our family members and friends are falling through the cracks. Some, like Amanda Cook, who you’ll meet in this week’s coverage, are losing their life as a result of our collective failures. By reading our paper, advertising in it, or supporting those who do, you are supporting this kind of journalism — and, we hope, progress. 

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COMMENT | LETTERS ON OUR FACEBOOK

What was your favorite Super Bowl moment? LAURA BOWES: The whole thing! JAMES GALLINA: The first 12 seconds, when it looked like there might have been two teams fighting for it. SHELLEY BURNS: The first thirty seconds. I knew we would win after that. MELISSA MILLS MORGAN: The ball off the helmet started things off nicely.

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FOX IS WORKING FOR US

Please refrain from your biased beliefs about Fox News. (“Working the Angles,” 1/30/14.) Calling Roger Ailes’ news station the “biggest con job in history” is false, inaccurate and shameful. Please take a poll, not an Inlander poll, but an independent poll in this area. Then report to us who agrees with your blatantly one-sided beliefs of what is really happening at Fox News. They are aggressively protecting the Constitution, abortion rights, religious freedom, balanced government, 2nd amendment rights, exposing glaring defects in Obamacare, dishonesty in government and reviving the country from moral decay. Bill O’Reilly is the top reporting program in over 15 years on cable television. No program is even close to his percentage of viewers. You should include in your columns glaring bias of MSNBC, major networks and stories purposely left off the air and in print. It’s time for the truth, and not hurling rocks as someone who cares about this great nation. JOCK SWANSTROM Spokane, Wash.

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programs alive, especially at this time when Congress is voting. KRISTEN JOHNSON Spokane, Wash.

CHOOSING SERVICE

As you repeated in your article “Sidewalk Summit” (1/23/14) what a local activist said, that these “so-called street kids … need a purpose.” These needs can be very adequately addressed by enlisting in the military. As long as they haven’t run afoul of the law, at least in a

Bill O’Reilly is the top reporting program in over 15 years on cable television. No program is even close to his percentage of viewers.

With Congress in session again, they will of course be voting on very important issues and legislation that affects different people all over, even globally. But representatives from both sides have come together in the past to support American Foreign Assistance programs, programs that are responsible for vaccinations, clean water and construction of hospitals and schools that have changed many lives. This is more than just good public policy; we can show the world our generosity and interest in keeping peace and prosperity on a global scale. For less than 1 percent of the budget, we can additionally benefit from new markets that have the opportunity to emerge with our assistance and prevent conflicts that are more likely to arise from unstable parts of the world. Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers and Senator Patty Murray have both voiced support for this bill and other legislation like it, but we can have more of an impact if we voice our support to keep these

big way, and have completed most of their high school education or a GED, the military is a great place to get on track. The Army may help with the GED also. The pay, training and other benefits are way better than living on the street. They will have a future as opposed to very bad prospects otherwise. If they truly want to have a productive, meaningful life, they better be ready for some compromises in their lifestyle. It will take a commitment on their part. As a Navy veteran, I am proud to have served my country and used the training received, as well as some of the benefits I earned by being a veteran. HERB POSTLEWAIT Spokane, Wash.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Send comments to editor@inlander.com.

KATHY GRABICKI SACKETT: When the ball went right by Peyton Manning’s head in the first few minutes of the game. It seemed to set the tone for the rest of the game. STEPHEN MARK MAITLAND: Second play of the game...safety...Game Over!! APRIL OSTLIE: Manning’s face after the first snap! BEN RALL: The first four quarters. KEZ MCINTOSH: Knowing football season is over... (Don’t kill me, I’m just a hockey girl, not a football girl!) COLETTE POWELL: Bruno Mars. SAMMI JO: The Budweiser commercial. DON SPARKY BARBIERI: The horses rescuing the puppy...just sayin’. ERIN LAFFERTY: There were two, the first 12 seconds of the first half, and the first 12 seconds of the second! WAYNE NICHOLLS: The kick “away” from Harvin to begin the second half. KERRY BROOKS: Third down conversion before the last score — it was over and Peyton knew it. MICHAEL CAMERON: Every last inch of Bronco ass being kicked. I mean the whole game. MELODY MORSE: The end! Wow, I like the Seahawks...but after awhile...not even fun. AMY DOWNER: When Paul Allen was handed the trophy and they announced that Seattle Seahawks were the champions! VERNON STEARNS: The final score. 

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COMMENT | SATIRE

Coke Leaves Bad Taste T BY ANDY BOROWITZ

he Coca-Cola Company ignited a firestorm of controversy on Sunday with a Super Bowl ad that appeared to make the inflammatory claim that other languages besides English exist. From coast to coast, viewers reacted with outrage and horror to what many were calling the most incendiary Super Bowl ad in history. “I was enjoying the Super Bowl with my family, and suddenly, out of nowhere, comes this ad suggesting that there are other languages that aren’t English,” said Carol Foyler, a mother of three from Akron, Ohio. “I grabbed the remote and turned it off. My kids shouldn’t be exposed to garbage that’s just going to confuse them.” The Alliance for Responsible Advertising, a conservative watchdog group that monitors advertising it considers offensive and unfit for family viewing, issued a statement demanding that Coke apologize for the controversial ad and promise never to air it again.

“Last night, Coke assaulted millions of Americans with its misguided and inappropriate view that other languages exist,” the statement said. “In the future, we strongly hope that Coke will keep its crazy theories to itself.” Elsewhere, responding to fresh charges that he knew about the controversial lane closures on the George Washington Bridge last fall, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie today asked for the public’s patience while he makes up a new story. “All I ask,” he told reporters at a hastily called press conference, “is that the people of the great state of New Jersey give me sufficient time to invent a new story that explains my way out of this.” n For more fake news from Andy Borowitz, visit borowitzreport.com.

COMMENT | THE NSA

Stop the Spying P BY JIM HIGHTOWER

resident Obama’s support for the NSA’s domestic spying program prompted a critic to say: “Given the unique power of the state, it is not enough for leaders to say: ‘Trust us, we won’t abuse the data we collect.’” Oh wait, that wasn’t a critic speaking — it was Obama himself! He was trying to shush critics by insisting that the threadbare slipcover of reforms he was throwing over the massive spy machine should satisfy us that all is well, so please, people, just go back to sleep. Less than a week later, however, a blaring alarm went off in Washington, shattering any drowsiness that Obama had hoped to induce. The alert came from a small, littleknown federal agency called the Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board, set up by Congress back in 2007 to be an independent monitor of the spook establishment’s privacy infringements. In a stunningly blunt, 238-page report, the five-member panel of legal experts concluded that NSA’s bulk data collection is illegal, probably unconstitutional under the First and Fourth Amendments, a serious, ongoing threat to

Americans’ privacy and liberties — and essentially useless at stopping terrorist acts. “As a result,” wrote the board’s majority, “the board recommends that the government end the program.” Especially telling is the finding that NSA’s invasive phone sweeps are an ineffectual anti-terrorism tool. The agency and its apologists keep claiming — without any proof — that total vacuuming of domestic communications is necessary to prevent the next 9/11 attack. But the privacy panel did an in-depth analysis of this repeated assertion, and wrote: “We have not identified a single instance involving a threat to the United States in which the telephone records program made a concrete difference.” To get the whole report, go to pclob.gov. n For more from America’s populist, check out jimhightower.com.

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 11

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An oil train running through Montana. ROY LUCK PHOTO

ENVIRONMENT

Booming Business Amid train derailments and explosions across North America, Spokane leaders call for tighter restrictions on oil trains BY HEIDI GROOVER

n a small, working-class Quebec town last summer, a train nearly a mile long carrying crude oil derailed in the middle of the night, spilling more than a million gallons of oil and exploding into a blaze that destroyed more than 30 buildings, including the public library, and killed 47 people. Near Casselton, North Dakota, in December, an oil train crash and explosion caused the town

to evacuate. In Spokane, a similar spill could be above the Spokane Valley-Rathdrum Prairie Aquifer, into the Spokane River or over the heart of the city. An overwhelming majority of transport by rail happens without incident, but when accidents happen, they can be devastating to communities. Amid recent highprofile accidents, increased production in North Dakota’s

Bakken formation and oil sands projects in Alberta and at least 10 refineries and port terminals planned for or operating on the Oregon and Washington coasts, local leaders are worried this area could soon see a derailment of its own. “It’s a matter of when,” says Spokane Riverkeeper Bart Mihailovich. “We’re on rail lines just like all these other communities.” BNSF, one of the region’s primary rail companies, doesn’t disclose many specifics about its operations in the area, but estimates that about one train carrying oil passes through Spokane each day. According to Sightline, a Seattle-based, sustainability-focused think tank, that could climb to as many as 22 per day (some full, others empty on their way back to the oil source) in coming years. The Spokane City Council passed a resolution Monday night that, among other things, called on the ...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 13

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“BOOMING BUSINESS,” CONTINUED... state to require railroads to disclose information about routes and frequency of oil transport, asked state and federal agencies to include Spokane in any environmental studies about the impact of increased traffic, supported stronger federal regulations regarding the use of aging train cars and requested a city review of emergency plans in case of a derailment. The move is non-binding — city councils can’t, of course, compel the state or federal government to do anything — but Council President Ben Stuckart called it a proactive step. “People listen,” Stuckart said before Monday’s vote. “If we don’t want these unsafe trains coming here, we can be heard.” Even some councilmembers who are skeptical of the environmental concerns surrounding coal train traffic through Spokane, like Mike Fagan and Steve Salvatori, say oil trains are an unSend comments to deniable risk. The threat isn’t long-term like editor@inlander.com. climate change, but one that could happen today. Fagan and Salvatori both pushed for Monday’s resolution to be limited to safety issues alone (not environmental ones), but supported the full resolution in the end. At the heart of the safety issue is outdated rail car technology. A handful of derailments since 2006, including those in Quebec and North Dakota, involved DOT-111 cars. Those pill-shaped cars have thinner walls that are likely to rupture in the case of derailment, a flaw well-known by the National Transportation Safety Board, but not yet phased out by federal regulators. Adding to the concern, the Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration issued a safety alert in January saying that recent derailments and explosions “indicate that the type of crude oil being transported from the Bakken region may be more flammable than traditional heavy crude oil.”

LETTERS

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“The type of crude oil being transported from the Bakken region may be more flammable than traditional heavy crude oil.” Yet local communities remain in waiting for federal regulators to take any steps on those issues. For now, the most concrete work they can do is planning for the worst. BNSF spokesman Gus Melonas says the company helps educate first responders on how to respond to accidents and spent $125 million on track improvements in Washington state last year. Spokane Fire Department Assistant Chief Brian Schaeffer says his department does regular drills to practice responding to hazardous material spills, fires and explosions, and is prepared for a potential derailment in the heart of Spokane. Still, the state Department of Ecology sees more work to be done. The department is pushing for legislative support of $625,000 in Gov. Jay Inslee’s proposed budget that would go toward more emergency planning for inland areas like Spokane, which have historically seen less planning for oil spills than coastal areas. Those dollars would help communities across the state outline how emergency responders would react to a hazardous accident in their area, including an oil train derailment, says David Byers, the department’s response manager. Byers says states are able to require that private companies complete and test such plans for pipelines and ships, but don’t have the same authority over rail companies, making it crucial that towns do the planning themselves. “We’re prepared for spills certainly along waterways and marine areas,” Byers says. But now that’s changing. “We’re seeing a transition from that risk picture that’s been with us for a long time to this additional risk [in] inland areas.”  heidig@inlander.com

NEWS | DEVELOPMENT

Plugging Loopholes Democrats take aim at Washington’s developer-friendly vesting law BY DANIEL WALTERS

ashington state has a quirk that developers love, but land-use advocates hate: As soon as a developer’s predevelopment paperwork is in, their property is “vested.” No matter what happens to the zoning of the property afterward, that development is unaffected. “Washington has one of the strongest and best vesting laws in the country,” says Michael Cathcart, government affairs director for the Spokane Home Builders Association. In 2013, Spokane County became an object lesson in what that means for managing growth: Last year, Spokane County expanded its Urban Growth Area — the region where high-density development can be built — but a few months later, the Growth Management Hearings Board struck down the expansion, finding the county had run afoul of public participation requirements. For vast quantities of land, the reversal hardly mattered. About 640 lots, across six different properties, had already vested. Ultimately, land-use advocates saw it as a clear way for developers to get around requirements of the Growth Management Act. “This is such a giant, gaping wound in the growth management act,” says the Center for Justice’s Rick Eichstaedt. Asked about the loophole last year, County Commissioner Todd Mielke pushed back, arguing in the Inlander, “If you really don’t like the vesting process, change the law.” That’s exactly what Spokane Reps. Timm Ormsby and Marcus Riccelli are trying to do. “This is at least my second time dealing with my frustration over what happens under current law,” Ormsby says. “This is not uncharted territory.” They’ve introduced legislation to prevent vesting in new areas until 60 days have passed after the expansion of an Urban Growth Area. And if there’s a challenge to expansion before the Growth Management Hearings Board, properties wouldn’t be able to vest until the board gave the county a green light. Simultaneously, from the west side of the state, Rep. Joe Fitzgibbon, D-Burien, has put forward another bill that would have an even more dramatic effect, allowing zoning to be changed even for vested properties if the Growth Management Hearings Board strikes down a UGA expansion entirely. It would allow the state “to put the genie back in the bottle,” Fitzgibbon says. Even if either bill gets out of committee, the opposition that sponsors face from developer groups will be fierce. The entire point of vesting, Cathcart says, is to give property owners some assurance that it’s safe to make investments. He worries that new restrictions could cripple investors. “It’s just going to be driving uncertainty. It will just hurt the property owner. Now suddenly, they’ll have to be left waiting for months or years or more to get their investment off the ground,” Cathcart says. “They’re always trying to make this out to be about big, bad developers… It’s not just the developers that are going to be hurt, it’s the individual property owners that are going to be hurt.” Ormsby dismisses such criticisms, arguing his bill would, at most, delay development by eight months. He and his allies don’t have much time more to make such arguments: The cutoff for getting most non-budgetary bills through committee is this Friday. n danielw@inlander.com

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 15

NEWS | DIGEST

NEED TO KNOW

The Big News of the Past Week

PHOTO EYE PROTESTING ‘DATE GRAPE’ 1.

Spokane’s newest downtown bar, the Daiquiri Factory, is drawing national criticism for serving a drink called “Date Grape Koolaid.” (See Photo Eye on this page.)

In his State of the Union address last week, President Obama emphasized his intention to use his executive authority to bypass congressional roadblocks in advancing his agenda. Eastern Washington Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers gave the official Republican response.

Jennifer Na, one of the owners of the Coffee Break espresso stand in Spokane Valley, was arrested on charges she tried to set fire to her own business. Investigators initially speculated the attempted arson was a hate crime after “Go back to China” was found spray-painted in the parking lot.

Two children, ages 9 and 5, died after falling into the ice on a pond near the Coeur d’Alene tribal reservation. Police believe they were searching for their puppy.

SARAH WURTZ PHOTO

Local activist and rape survivor Taylor Malone, left, stands with others Saturday night during a protest outside the newly opened Spokane Downtown Daiquiri Factory on Wall Street. The bar’s menu includes a drink called “Date Grape Koolaid,” which has sparked controversy and national media attention accusing the venue of making light of a serious crime. In response to the backlash, the bar has defended the name and hidden negative comments and reviews on its Facebook page. In an audio statement designed as a faux news report that the bar posted Monday, a voice-over concludes there is “no reason to be outraged” and “everyone simply needs a little daiquiri therapy.”

ON INLANDER.com What’s Creating Buzz

DIGITS

2.5

In case you somehow missed it, the Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl for the first time in franchise history on Sunday night, crushing the Denver Broncos 43-8. (See page 62.)

The number, in millions, of full-time workers the labor market will lose by 2024 as a result of the Affordable Care Act, according to the Congressional Budget Office. With expanded health care coverage, the CBO predicts low-wage workers will choose to drop out of the labor force or reduce their hours.

1,000

The amount of money stolen from the donation box at Spokane Valley’s Habitat for Humanity store.

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NEWS | BRIEF

Try, Try Again Spokane City Council to consider another police contract; plus, bullying in CdA ANOTHER TRY

City and Spokane Police Guild negotiators have reached a new TENTATIVE CONTRACT AGREEMENT they hope will satisfy the city council, which rejected an earlier agreement and has called for more authority for the police ombudsman. The new agreement maintains the current structure in which the ombudsman sits in on Internal Affairs investigations, but adds several new roles:  Where he previously forwarded all complaints of excessive force or “improper/inappropriate interaction with an officer” to IA, the ombudsman would now conduct a preliminary investigation to determine whether to forward the complaint to IA. (Unless an officer is the one filing a complaint, the ombudsman cannot interview officers at this step.)  If IA refuses to open an investigation, the Police Ombudsman Commission (a new citizen group established to oversee the ombudsman) can direct the ombudsman to conduct an independent investigation into the complaint. The ombudsman can request, but not require, officers to answer his questions.  If the commission continues to believe IA is insufficiently investigating, it can direct the ombudsman or an unspecified third-party group to further investigate, but not until the department has determined whether the involved officer will be disciplined. The ombudsman still

couldn’t require officers to talk with him. The city council will vote on the agreement at its 6 pm meeting Monday and, if passed, Guild members will vote on it later this month. For more, visit Inlander.com. — HEIDI GROOVER

THIS IS WHAT BULLYING LOOKS LIKE

“One of my friends pretended to be friends with a disabled kid. When the disabled student left, she mimicked the kid’s limp.” “A girl put a picture of a whale and a pig on this girl’s Facebook page and said, these are your sisters.” Those are just two COEUR D’ALENE student experiences as relayed by Steve Wessler, the national anti-bullying expert brought in to assist the district. He released his high school and middle school climate summary last week, after conducting 34 student focus groups with 294 different students. While he also noted positive actions by students and teachers, he also saw pervasive levels of bullying. “The report was difficult to read,” says school board member Christa Hazel. “I started reading that report as a trustee and I finished reading the report as a parent.” In particular, she’s concerned about incidents that go beyond bullying and into sexual assault.

Wessler concluded his report with a list of suggestions for how to improve the districts’ climate, including creating leadership programs for students, holding “conflict resolution dialogues” about gender, race and religion, and training staff on the best way to respond to harassment. “This could be a four-to-five-year process,” Hazel says, “[before] you really start to see the turn-around.” — DANIEL WALTERS

SPD INTERNAL INVESTIGATIONS

A longtime Spokane police officer filed retirement papers Monday amid an Internal Affairs investigation into alleged false reporting, just days after SPD officials also placed a sergeant on paid administrative leave pending a separate, unrelated internal investigation. OFFICER BARRY O’CONNELL filed for retirement this week instead of facing possible termination over a sustained finding on false reporting allegations. Officials say the Spokane officer of 20 years was first placed on leave in late November pending the investigation, which resulted in a recent recommendation calling for his firing. “As a result of his retirement,” an SPD statement says, “the Internal Affairs investigation against O’Connell will be closed with no further action.” O’Connell was previously suspended from duty for three weeks in 2012 after his 10-year-old daughter accidentally shot herself in the leg with his department handgun. Police officials says Sgt. Chet Gilmore, a 25-year veteran, was also placed on administrative leave last Wednesday pending a separate internal investigation. SPD spokeswoman Monique Cotton reports the allegations are not criminal, but would not provide additional details regarding the nature of the investigation. — JACOB JONES

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On Monday morning, “Add the Words” protesters — seeking to limit discrimination based on “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” — blocked entrances to the state Senate chambers. Forty-four people were arrested. HARRISON BERRY/BOISE WEEKLY PHOTOS

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n December 2011, Sandpoint became the first Idaho city to pass a citywide ordinance barring discrimination in housing, employment and public accommodations based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Three years later, six other Idaho cities — including Coeur d’Alene, Moscow and Boise — have similar measures on the books. Federal law doesn’t protect gay or transgender people from discrimination. Neither does Idaho’s Human Rights Act. For human rights advocates, passing local anti-discrimination ordinances was the perfect strategy, second to amending Idaho state law, to protect LGBT people. Now, new bills in the Idaho Legislature threaten to gut these local anti-discrimination laws. Critics say they’ll codify discrimination.

Last week, Rep. Lynn Luker, R-Boise, introduced two bills aimed at providing more protection to individuals and business owners on religious grounds. House Bill 426 would keep professionals, such as doctors and counselors, from having their occupational licenses revoked if they refused services or denied employment to people based on a “sincerely held religious belief.” (The bill doesn’t protect individuals from being fired, nor does it apply to emergency responders.) House Bill 427 amends Idaho’s Religious Freedom Restoration law so individuals can use religion as a defense or in an affirmative claim in discrimination suits. “In both cases, it not only does not advance human rights … this actually moves us backwards,” says Tony Stewart from the Kootenai

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FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 19

MENTAL ILLNESS TOUCHES EVERY CORNER OF AMERICA.

About 2,000 people receive mental health care at the Spokane jail each year.

Our streets, schools, jails, hospitals, families. This crisis isn’t unknown. We’re reminded of it in every violent outburst of a troubled person. And yet how many pleas for help go ignored? How many sick people are warehoused behind bars? When will America find a way to do better? ‘THESE PEOPLE ARE US’

LOCKED AWAY

A primer on mental health, the costs and the high stakes for Americans

From the Spokane jail, Amanda Cook sent heartbreaking letters to her family. But help would come too late

BY HEIDI GROOVER

BY JACOB JONES

he first warning signs were the toys scattered all over the floor. The night before, Tammy Crider had watched her 3-year-old daughter Alecia go quietly to bed. Now, the next morning and the room a mess, it was clear the little girl had been up all night. Things would only get worse: violent tantrums, screaming matches, school suspensions. Tammy sought out behaviorists to try to help manage Alecia’s outbursts, but the changes didn’t stick. They saw a psychiatrist, but Tammy worried the doctor was overmedicating Alecia. Inside, Alecia only felt more mixed up the older she got. Her moods would shift suddenly and unexpectedly. She said things she didn’t want to say, but couldn’t seem to help it. She’d swell with anger at herself and then shut down to avoid saying anything at all. The behavior wasn’t entirely surprising. Tammy adopted Alecia and knew her biological family had a history of mental illness, but that didn’t make the puzzle any easier to solve. At 11, Alecia was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She was at once unpredictable and “like a zombie” from medication. At 15, Tammy moved her daughter into a group home. “Don’t make me stay here,” Alecia cried. ...continued on page 22

t her best, Amanda Cook could still give off the light of her former self — the bright, giggly girl who grew into a doting young mother. A photo from last summer shows Cook posing confidently with a deep-dimpled grin, one leg jutting forward, one shoulder cocked back, a warm reflection of the Spokane woman who once loved shopping and doing her sister’s hair. “She liked music and she liked fashion,” her older sister Melissa Parker says. “She had a very good heart. … If anyone in her family needed anything, she was right there.” At her worst, the 25-year-old Cook turned unpredictable, paranoid and sometimes violent. Parker says “everything went all bad” a few years ago. Her sister fell into drugs, lost her daughter to the state and racked up a string of arrests for increasingly troubling crimes. While Parker blames the drugs, she says she had noticed lingering effects on Cook’s mental state. She would hallucinate, suffer long bouts of crying and fear those around her. In a fit of frustration last March, Cook intentionally set fire to a trailer where she lived near Elk. In early October, she was arrested for assault after smashing through a window into her mother’s Spokane home and attacking her with a ...continued on page 27 wooden club.

EDITOR’S NOTE: These special reports are the first in our “State of Mind” series delving into the issue of mental health. Besides exposing serious problems, we will also strive to tell success stories and examine potential solutions. If you have feedback or a story to share, please email us at editor@inlander.com.

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in America.

AMANDA COOK While awaiting a mental evaluation, the 25-year-old sent letters to her sister: “I’m sorry I lost my mind! I hate what has happened to me.”

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 21

Alecia Crider, left, and her mother Tammy. Alecia was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, ADHD and general anxiety at the age of 11. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“THESE PEOPLE ARE US,” CONTINUED...

80 MILLION AMERICANS

Otto Zehm, a mentally ill janitor, died in 2006 after a violent confrontation with Spokane police

For Tammy, the moments that told her something was wrong were dramatic. For the nation, they may be less tangible. Yet across the Inland Northwest and beyond, mental illness — and the cobbled-together health care system meant to address it — is becoming impossible to ignore. A quarter of the U.S. population — nearly 80 million people — has a diagnosable mental illness, including conditions like depression and attention-deficit disorder, and about 6 percent live with a serious mental illness, like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Estimates vary, but spending on mental health care totals at least $113 billion a year in the United States, or about 6 percent of national health care spending. Still, only about half of those with mental illness in the U.S. get the treatment they need. Service providers say they’re seeing an increased demand for mental health services. The recession may be at least partially to blame: A national survey commissioned in part by the National Alliance on Mental Illness showed that jobless Americans were four times as likely as the employed to “report symptoms consistent with severe mental illness.” Those who experienced pay cuts or decreased hours were twice as likely. The national suicide rate, which dropped between 1990 and 2000, has been steadily rising since. Today, it’s the 10th leading cause of death. About a quarter of homeless adults in shelters, and 20 percent of those in local and state prisons and jails, have a mental illness as streets and prisons become homes for those not receiving treatment. A 2007 study of veterans returning

22 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

from Iraq and Afghanistan found that 31 percent of them received mental health or psychosocial diagnoses when they returned home. Meanwhile, states across the country, including Washington and Idaho, sliced a total of $1.6 billion from mental health funding during the years of budget slashing between 2009 and

ers opted not to take federal dollars to expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. Locally, some decision-makers are taking notice. A recently released report from the Spokane Regional Criminal Justice Commission called for an evaluation of the Mental Health Court, a specialty court run by Municipal and District

“The hardest thing I ever did was make the decision to not parent her on a daily basis.” 2012. Among the states with the most dramatic cuts, Alaska hacked 35 percent of its mental health budget while Arizona trimmed 23 percent, according to an analysis by NAMI. Idaho and Washington fared better, but each still cut mental health funding by about 11 percent. Tightening the squeeze, federal stimulus dollars that had temporarily increased the federal match for Medicaid — the government health care coverage program utilized by many low-income people with mental illness — expired in the summer of 2011. So even in states where spending on mental health care has risen since then, care may not have increased because new dollars were simply filling in the gap left by the temporary stimulus. And despite the benefits of Medicaid programs, a growing gap exists, consisting of those who make too much to qualify for government aid but not enough to afford good private coverage. That shortfall is especially dire in states like Idaho where lawmak-

Courts. The report also called for an expansion of the Spokane Police Department’s training to respond to mentally ill offenders. The rallying cry for better training has intensified in the nearly eight years since Otto Zehm, a mentally ill janitor, died after a violent confrontation with Spokane police. When his family settled its lawsuit against the city, crisis-intervention training for SPD was a requirement of the settlement. Priority Spokane, a group of local organizations including the city, county and nonprofit groups, has named mental health care the next biggest challenge facing the region. Providence’s Sacred Heart Hospital recently added seven emergency room beds in an observation unit specifically for those with mental illness. The rooms are designed to be more safe for those suffering from symptoms of mental illness, with sharp tools out of reach and fewer stimuli to help patients stay calm. They’re nearly always full.

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“There is not a family in the entire country that doesn’t know or live next door to or work with someone [who has experienced mental illness]. It’s time for us to start stepping up and owning this,” says Sandi Ando, the public policy chair for NAMI’s Washington state chapter. “These are not those sick people. These people are us.”

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As Tammy struggled to find care for Alecia, she sought help from Passages Family Support, a local agency that pairs people who have a mental illness or who have children with mental illness with other people or parents. There, Tammy got advice on the wrenching decision of whether to place Alecia in a group home. She struggled, feeling like she owed it to her daughter to take care of her, to not cast her off as someone else’s problem. But over time she realized Alecia’s outbursts were endangering them both, and she wanted to see her get better. “The hardest thing I ever did was make the decision to not parent her on a daily basis,” Tammy says, her voice cracking. “It was hard to ask for help, but I knew I had to ask for help because I couldn’t do it by myself.” Today, Tammy works as the office manager at Passages, where other parents often come looking for direction. The ways in which people find, access and pay for mental health care are complex. Hospitals, private doctors, nonprofits and government-funded service agencies all play a role, and patients pay for care with private insurance, state aid and often out of their own pockets. A large majority of patients receive outpatient care, like counseling or prescription drugs, rather than long hospital stays or institutionalization — a major shift since the early 1900s — but about a fifth of them say they or their family paid most of the cost, signaling significant gaps in insurance coverage. Most people accessing mental health care (about 60 percent) are covered by private insurance and around 20 percent are covered by public insurance, like Medicaid and Medicare, according to the most recent data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health. Today, both the public and private systems are in flux with the implementation of the Affordable Care Act. While coverage should expand under the ACA and parity laws have attempted to mandate that insurance companies cover mental health care to the same extent they cover other types of care, the results so far remain mixed. Some say insurers have responded by raising premiums or cutting benefits. For Medicaid recipients, eligibility requirements vary from state to state, and even with the promise of expansion in Washington state, roadblocks face some clinics serving people in need. Peg Hopkins, CEO of the Community Health Association of Spokane, a group of clinics that provide sliding-scale care to uninsured and underinsured patients, says her agency is reimbursed per month rather than based on what care is needed for a patient, stretching resources. ...continued on next page

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“THESE PEOPLE ARE US,” CONTINUED...

FACT Some leaders, including Washington Gov. Jay Inslee, are calling for more coordination between mental illness and substance abuse treatment in hopes of better treating the 9 million American adults who have co-occurring mental health and addiction disorders.

“Even though we know we can look at that young mom and know she’s depressed and know what it would take to get her back on track and her whole family stabilized, there is [sometimes] no money to do that,” Hopkins says. “That’s tough.” For many with serious mental health needs, emergency rooms are increasingly becoming triage centers. A Seattle Times investigation last year found that “boarding” mentally ill patients in hospital rooms and hallways has become an increasingly common practice in Washington, which ranks near the bottom of states for psychiatric beds per capita. In Spokane, Frontier Behavioral Health operates two evaluation treatment facilities and one crisis stabilization facility (48 beds total), which provide shortterm care, and the 287-bed Eastern State Hospital in Medical Lake offers long-term institutionalized care. But cutbacks at hospitals like Eastern State have pushed some people with serious needs toward scarce community facilities or into emergency rooms. Some change may be coming. In caring for children with mental illness, a 2009 lawsuit alleged that the state of Washington was failing

its youngest vulnerable citizens. That prompted plans for a significant overhaul of mental health care for children in Washington. Then a bill passed last year in Olympia mandated that the Legislature create a task force to study possible reforms of the adult system and report to the governor by the end of this year. To the East, Idaho transitioned management of its public behavioral health care system to Optum, a private, Minneapolis-based company, in September. With promises the switch would make providing mental health care more efficient and affordable, the state Department of Health and Welfare now pays the company $10.5 million a month to oversee services for Medicaid recipients. But in a state Senate committee meeting in late January, providers slammed the new system, telling lawmakers it’s plagued with long telephone hold times and difficulty for people trying to find out if they’re covered for certain services. Meanwhile, lawmakers are considering a $5 million proposal to open regional “behavioral health crisis centers” in Boise, Idaho Falls and Coeur d’Alene, which could help reduce mental health visits to

psychiatric hospitals plagued by inadequate staffing and poor care. “The vast majority of our state mental institutions are dreary, dilapidated excuses for hospitals, costly monuments to the states’ betrayal of the duty they have assumed to their most helpless wards,” wrote Albert Q. Maisel, who described the institutions as “concentration camps that masquerade as hospitals.” In the decades to come, much of that would change. Between 1955 and 1980, during a movement known as “deinstitutionalization,” the population of mental instituToday’s community-based system tions across the country fell from has not always been the model. 559,000 to 154,000. Drugs were America’s early history becoming more effective is littered with stories for treating the symptoms of dank asylums and of mental illness, making Send comments to questionable treatments: it more socially acceptlobotomies, malaria injec- editor@inlander.com. able to allow people tions and insulin-induced with mental illness to comas. In 1887, Nellie Bly live in the community. feigned insanity and penned her Chlorpromazine, marketed in the famous Ten Days in a Mad-House. U.S. as Thorazine, was first used in “The insane asylum on BlackFrance to sedate surgical patients well’s Island is a human rat-trap,” after a surgeon found that the drug she wrote. “It is easy to get in, but calmed patients’ anxieties about once there it is impossible to get their upcoming procedures. When out.” doctors tested it on a 24-yearThe Life magazine exposé “Bedold man who had experienced lam 1946” gave an account of state psychotic episodes, he was stable

hospital emergency rooms in the state. “Folks, this can work,” Idaho Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter told state legislators last month in his 2014 State of the State address, calling on them to support the proposal. “The response to such programs elsewhere has been encouraging, and communities have been more than willing to join in these investments as they see declines in use of local emergency rooms, hospital beds and jail cells.”

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enough to be released after 20 days of treatment. Throughout the ’50s, the drug’s use spread globally, and it became a staple in American psychiatric hospitals. “The time has come for a bold new approach,” John F. Kennedy told Congress in a “Special Message On Mental Illness and Mental Retardation” in February 1963. The question of caring for the nation’s mentally ill had come to the forefront, with hundreds of thousands of people institutionalized and the public cost growing. “When carried out, reliance on the cold mercy of custodial isolation will be supplanted by the open warmth of community concern and capability,” Kennedy said, outlining a plan to encourage more research of mental illness and more communitybased care. The move was an important shift toward compassion for those with mental illness, but building the services that were supposed to take the place of institutions took more time and money than some anticipated. Slowly, states moved people to nursing homes and other facilities, but it wasn’t until 1993 that states were actually spending more on community services than state-run institutions. Patient advocacy groups

like NAMI recognize the good done by deinstitutionalization, but say a lack of funding left some without sufficient care, a lapse the system is still making up for. “The history of deinstitutionalization began with high hopes and by 2000, our understanding of how to do it had solidified. But it was too late for many,” wrote the authors of a 2007 report, “Learning From History,” from the Kaiser Commission on Medicaid and the Uninsured. “Looking back it is possible to see the mistakes, and a primary problem was that mental health policymakers overlooked the difficulty of finding resources to meet the needs of a marginalized group of people living in scattered sites in the community. Multiple funding streams were uncoordinated. Even when needs were eventually recognized it was difficult to braid together a comprehensive service package.”

‘I FEEL NORMAL’

In her four years away from home, Alecia, now 19 with chin-length blonde hair, has softened in her feelings about the staffed facility where she lives and toward her mom for sending her there. She visits Tammy each weekend, when they go shop-

UGM_020614_6H_CP.jpg

ping and watch movies together. “It’s nice for me, but it’s not here,” she says, fidgeting with the sleeve of her magenta sweater on Tammy’s couch. Along with bipolar disorder, Alecia has some developmental delays, so she often seems to be hovering between her own age and a few years younger, but both she and Tammy say she’s made significant progress since the move. Her favorite books lately have been the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson, stories about a tight-knit group of teenagers who are part human and part bird. They’re orphaned and on the run; societal misfits with secret powers. At the group home, her room is painted “Pepto-Bismol pink” with an Eiffel Tower drawn on the wall. Sometimes, when her feelings overwhelm her, she slips under her tall captain’s bed, blasts Shakira or country music from her phone and focuses on breathing deeply. She hopes to graduate from high school in another year or two and move out on her own or with her boyfriend. “I feel normal,” she says. “I think of myself picturing normal, but not like real normal.” Tammy has worked to give her that semblance of normalcy, but it’s never been easy. When Alecia was ...continued on next page

225 E. 3rd Ave., Spokane, WA FACT Between 1955 and 1980, the population of America’s mental institutions fell from 559,000 to 154,000.

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small and would have an outburst in public, Tammy could feel the heat of others’ judgment. Once, when she started screaming because Tammy wouldn’t buy her a candy bar at Safeway, the woman in front of them in line told Tammy her daughter was a “brat” who needed to be disciplined better. “Why don’t you try talking to her right now?” Tammy shot back. Family members didn’t know how to react to Alecia’s sharp mood swings and often didn’t recognize them as symptoms of an illness. Tammy hopes that increased awareness of mental illness — its prevalence and its severity — might reverse that and make people pause before ridiculing a family like hers. “It’s not anything anybody’s chosen,” she says. “[People with mental illness] deserve to have a good life just like anybody else.” Historical evolution in mental health care has brought a slow decline in public stigma about mental illness. Yet media coverage of high-profile incidents like school and workplace shootings can blur the lines between violence and mental illness, leading the public to connect the two. In fact, statistics tell another story. Studies of the connection are complicated because both mental illness and acts of mass violence are rare, but the connection appears weak. The increased likelihood of violent behavior among those with mental illness, if it exists, is small. More significant may be that people with mental illness are about 11 times more likely to be the victims of violent crime than the general population. As stigma continues to fade and FACT more people seek treatment, the system will only be under more stress. People with Dr. Saj Ravasia, the medical director mental illness are of Sacred Heart’s psychiatric departabout 11 times ment, says demand for care is increasing more likely to and the conditions his patients are in be the victims are getting worse. Often, Ravasia says, of violent crime those without insurance or financial help than the general are waiting longer to seek mental health population. care, meaning their conditions are more severe once they arrive at the hospital, increasing the strain on hospital resources. (Where his unit once saw about 25 percent of its patients being involuntarily committed because they’re a danger to themselves or others, he says that segment is now around 75 percent.) He and his colleagues are also seeing an increase in patients in need of both mental health and substance abuse treatment, complicating their needs. And while the need for psychiatric services is growing, interest in the profession among aspiring doctors isn’t, necessarily. Ravasia is blunt: Psychiatry, especially in the emergency room, isn’t a glorified profession. Aspiring doctors rarely anticipate ending up doing this sort of high-demand, high-stress work, he says, and once they do it can take a toll. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, nearly 95 million people already face a shortage of mental health care, compared to about 60 million facing a shortage of primary care and 47 million facing a shortage of dental care. A shortage of providers means the systematic issues currently at play could get worse in the years to come as today’s providers retire. The DHHS, which designates “Health Professional Shortage Areas,” estimates that about half of the need for care is going unmet nationally. Washington is meeting only 43 percent of its need and Idaho meets about 62 percent. The array of challenges means the solutions must come from all corners, Ravasia says, but change will start with both government dollars and a shift in thinking. “There needs to be a real change in political will to care for the underprivileged in our society, because there’s still this misconception that people just have to pull their bootstraps up and get on with it,” he says. “These are medical illnesses. This is not because they don’t want to do better.” n heidig@inlander.com

“LOCKED AWAY,”

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 20...

The row of cells used for inmates on “suicide watch” at the Spokane County Jail. The “30” magnet on the cell door indicates the inmate must be checked on every 30 minutes. “She was a good girl before all of that,” Parker says. “She liked to draw. She drew butterflies.” With her most recent booking, Cook returned to a jail system overrun by mental health challenges, a system where inmates spend all day locked down, where medication comes slowly and where a simple evaluation can stall proceedings for months, leaving people stranded behind bars regardless of guilt or innocence — a system that ultimately could not save Cook from herself. From jail, Cook wrote letters about her growing confusion, fear and regret. On Dec. 3, she was released from her cell to take a shower. Somehow, she smuggled out a bedsheet. “I have hurt everyone who has cared about me. … I’m really not sure what has gotten into me honestly.” — Cook wrote in a letter, Nov. 3

ithin the black-mirrored glass monolith of the Spokane County Jail, the regional criminal justice system bears a responsibility it was never built to shoulder. In the wake of deinstitutionalization in the 1970s, local jail facilities have become the modern asylums, granted dwindling resources to meet the growing demands of a nuanced population of inmates with diverse treatment needs and sensitivities. The county jails in Chicago, Los Angeles and New York now stand as the three largest mental health facilities in the nation, together treating more than two and a half times the combined capacity of the country’s top three mental health hospitals. Spokane County Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich argues that federal and state lawmakers have forced mental health care onto underfunded local governments. With state and community facilities cutting programs, jails across

the country have evolved into warehouses for locking up large numbers of the mentally ill. A 2012 survey of 20,000 jail inmates found 17 percent met the criteria for serious mental illness. “The criminal justice system,” Knezovich says, “is not really the proper place for mental health treatment. … The jail is [already] way beyond its limits.” In 2009, the Spokane County Jail took the unprecedented step of obtaining certification as a licensed mental health provider, becoming the only jail in the state to do so and making it the second largest mental health facility in Washington. It now provides mental health services for more than 2,000 inmates a year — one in six of the approximately 12,000 adults under age 55 who received mental health services of any kind in Spokane County each year. Kristina Ray serves as manager of the jail’s mental health department. Since joining the jail staff in 2007, Ray says mental health personnel have worked to provide the same level of care as any other treatment facility, even as those types of facilities have closed their doors or cut their numbers of beds. Her staff of three mental health professionals, plus a few contract and intern positions, remains on call 24 hours a day. They assess inmates, provide stabilization, offer short-term counseling and develop discharge plans for follow-up upon release. “When I first started here, corrections and mental health were two very separate fields,” Ray says. “I have seen a complete 180-degree shift.” A 2012 audit of the Spokane County Jail by the Regional Support Network, which oversees mental health services across Eastern Washington, found the staff responsive and well organized. Mental health advocates with the nonprofit Disability Rights Washington and other organizations have commended the Spokane jail for several proactive policies, but they also argue the system and services remain insufficient all while new demands

JACOB JONES PHOTO

continue to multiply. Ray says the number of local inmates with mental health issues has gone up slightly, rising from about 1,700 in 2010 to 2,050 in the 2013 contract year. But the severity of conditions also has increased. As other facilities have cut community-based services, she says, the people showing up in the Spokane jail have suffered from more significant problems, more dangerous signs of crisis. “They’re more symptomatic,” Ray says. “They’ve been off their medication longer. They’re higher risk. It’s a lot more severe cases.” Five years ago, the jail might have had five people on suicide watch. “Now, it’s 20,” she says, “and that’s not uncommon.” “I’m sorry I lost my mind! I hate what has happened to me.” — Nov. 3

ehind the door to 2W19, one of several suicide watch cells on level Two-West, a 45-year-old man with a salt-and-pepper beard lets out a string of broken wails, seemingly drowning in his own screams. He then goes quiet, pressing himself hard into the far corner of his cell as Cory Standridge, one of the jail’s mental health professionals, steps in to check on him. Each inmate receives a mental health assessment upon booking. People may self-report a previous diagnosis or admit thoughts of self-harm. Police officers can make referrals or corrections staff may flag unusual behavior. Inmates with severe symptoms may require immediate “crisis intervention” to control their outbursts. “Sometimes when you guys hear me scream, it’s to get the raging thoughts out of my head,” the man tells Standridge, pausing, “You know what I see right now? ...continued on next page Math.”

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 27

“LOCKED AWAY,” CONTINUED... Wrapped in a blanket, the man says he sees nonexistent numbers wallpapering his cell. He had an argument with God, he explains, over the pounds per square inch of force needed to break the skin of an apple. God won, of course. In a strained voice, he starts listing the religious significance of prime numbers. He stops to rub his face. “Ahh. I just want my meds,” he moans. “You guys have been working on it since Monday.” It’s now Thursday. Jail officials say nearly nine out of 10 mental health inmates require some kind of medication stabilization, but the process can be complicated. Standridge tells the man she has to have him sign a release to get his prescription from his doctor, then his doctor has to confirm the medication and dosage, then the jail’s physician has to approve the dosage, then the jail has to actually order the medication from the pharmacy, then he can get his meds. The process can take several days. Inmates cannot bring their own supply for fear it could be tainted or misused. The jail’s mental health professionals also can prescribe medications, but inmate accounts suggest that process can still take weeks in some cases. In the case of Amanda Cook, her sister says the Pend Oreille County Corrections Facility in Newport had Cook on medication last fall that helped moderate her mood, but when she was released and soon rebooked into the Spokane jail in October, she could not get back on those meds. Spokane officials would not comment on Cook’s treatment. “They should have known about the medication she was on,” Parker argues. “I don’t understand why they weren’t communicating [with Pend Oreille County]. I don’t understand why Spokane wasn’t doing anything to help her.” Many factors determine if and when an inmate receives medication. Spokane jail nurse manager Cheryl Slagle says the jail transitioned from a Pennsylvania-based pharmacy to a local pharmacy in September, which has helped speed up parts of the process. They can now fill emergency prescriptions in less than two hours, but they still have to follow proper safeguards. Standridge tells the man in the blanket that she will follow up on his medication and see about getting him access to a phone. “You’re never coming back,” he growls. “Look, we all know my mind got f---ed up!” — Nov. 3

t her desk in the nearby county Public Defender’s office, defense attorney Kari Reardon tallies her caseload from last year — 262 separate charges. Of those, 29 charges — more than 11 percent — were dismissed because the defendant was not mentally competent to assist in his or her own defense. She then counts up her 64 open cases, 17 of which have stalled as defendants wait for mental health evaluations. Reardon, who sits on the mental health advisory board for the Spokane County Regional Support Network, acknowledges her client ratio might be a little higher than average, but there’s still a huge number of mentally ill defendants in the local criminal justice system — tying up courts, law enforcement operations and especially the Spokane jail. “Our folks with jail mental health have a tremendous burden,” she says. “I know they try. It’s just an overwhelming amount of people.”

28 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

Public defender Kari Reardon notes that Death Row inmates get more time out of their cells than local mental health inmates at the county jail. Reardon, like many other advocates, argues the criminal justice system should not be expected to provide primary housing and treatment for those who need mental health services. Jails were never really meant to be mental care facilities. But for many, they have become the only option. In July, one of Reardon’s clients allegedly started throwing rocks at cars outside Spokane Falls Community College. Court records indicate that when campus security confronted him, the 32-year-old man admitted the offense, saying “he wanted to go to jail to receive medication.” “That gentleman needed mental health help and was literally damaging cars so he could go to the jail and get his medication,” Reardon says. “That a person commits a crime to get help is a really sad state of affairs.” Jail officials confirm similar stories from other inmates. One 46-year-old Spokane woman recently booked into the jail has a long history of committing petty crimes to receive a monthly injection. During an interview outside her cell, the woman tells the Inlander she had few options for treatment at the time. She was homeless. She didn’t have insurance. So every other month she would go to the emergency room, and the next month she would get herself arrested on a minor crime. “It’s just tough,” the woman says. For those with few options, mental health manager Ray says the jail can serve an important role in stabilizing individuals and connecting them to long-term community care providers. Navigating any medical or mental health system can be difficult, even for those without mental issues, so the jail at least provides an accessible route to those who need it. Ray acknowledges it’s not ideal, but says other services can have long wait lists, high costs or confusing restrictions — the jail has to admit and treat everyone immediately. “We’ll see them at any time for any reason,” Ray says. “They don’t get billed. There’s no charge to receive mental health care. … They don’t have those barriers to getting treatment here.” “You guys want your sister back and I want to be a part of my family again. I’ve got a lot of shameful

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

guilt I just need to let go of, but it’s hard. Honestly, I feel like a freak show. I’m really hoping to still have a chance to get my mind right and be able to be with you where I belong.” — Nov. 18

ark pink doors seal the segregated cells along the double-tiered block of Four-East where most of the jail’s male offenders with acute mental health issues wait out their time. Each door has a small slot about three feet off the floor. Eyes peek out from many of the openings as men in yellow jumpsuits crouch down to stare or shout through their only hatch to the outside world. An arm emerges from one slot, clutching an envelope, passing it to a neighboring door where another hand snatches up the letter. Four-East has 46 single-person cells, almost always full. Due to staff shortages and security protocols, mental health inmates remain locked down in their cells for 23 hours a day, sometimes more. During their one hour of “out time,” they can wander the carpeted common area, pick out books, shower or watch the flat-screen TV on the wall. Jail officials say they dislike the heavy restrictions, but have limited resources. In cell 4E31, 28-year-old Scott Adams perches on the edge of his bunk. He wears two jumpsuits, doubling layers for warmth. The Army veteran has rough-cut brown hair and the word “GRUNT” tattooed in black capital letters down the length of his forearm. He seems tired, but agreeable, as he leans forward with a sort of resignation regarding the concrete all around him. “I’ve started to name the walls,” Adams says, pointing. “That one’s Kennedy. The door is Logan.” His cell has high ceilings and a small vertical window. By the door, a stainless steel combination sink-toilet fixture bolts into the corner. You can talk to other inmates through the sink if you blow all the water out of the pipes, Adams explains, but the toilet plumbing also is connected, so whatever gets flushed upstairs ends up in his toilet bowl until he flushes it down the line. He looks up to the ceiling as a loud clanging starts up from the cell above him. “It’s a horrible atmosphere,” he says, adding, “No [other jail] has a setup like this where they just lock you

in your room all day. … I think this is extremely counterproductive.” Many of Washington’s jails do, though. While jail officials say mentally ill inmates have trouble “maintaining” if they are not housed by themselves, civil rights advocates argue constant lockdown forces inmates into de facto solitary confinement, which is typically used as extreme punishment. Research studies going back to the 1970s associate solitary confinement with increased depression, hypersensitivity, fear, hallucination and incidents of self-mutilation. Reardon notes that Death Row inmates in Walla Walla get more time out of their cells than local mental health inmates at the county jail. “If you were already sane, that would probably drive you insane,” she says of the isolation and disruptive environment. Adams says he appreciates the Spokane mental health staff, but says the jail conditions come close to “torture.” He can’t sleep. He suffers constant nightmares. His fellow inmates will scream and holler as they struggle with their own demons next door. And the inmate above him continues banging away at all hours. Adams sometimes uses toilet paper to plug his ears against the racket. He takes antianxiety medication to calm his nerves. “There’s nowhere to go,” he says. “You just lay here and take it.”

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“I talked to my attorney today. She says Eastern is gonna come and give me an evaluation here in the next week or so. I’ll let you know. Please pray for me. … I need to pull myself together. I’m losing my mind.” — Nov. 18

ny defendants with suspected mental health issues must undergo a psychological evaluation to determine whether they are competent to stand trial or whether they can assist in their own defense. Once a question of competency is raised, nothing can move ...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 29

“LOCKED AWAY,” CONTINUED...

didn’t have her on suicide watch,” Parker says. “They kept putting [her evaluation] off and putting it off, until finally she couldn’t take it anymore.” Cook crept into the showers at about 11:40 am and threw her bedsheet up over part of a vent, investigators say. Jail staff found her hanging, alone and unconscious, about 30 minutes later. She never woke up and on Dec. 6 was declared dead.

forward until a state-licensed evaluator can meet with and question the defendant for about an hour. Eastern State Hospital provides seven evaluators to cover 20 counties across the east side of the state. “There’s a severe bottleneck on that,” Sheriff “I didn’t mean to cause so many problems Knezovich says. “We really need to get that … I wish I would have gotten my head system fixed.” together … Then none of this would have Ray, the jail mental health manager, says happened.” — Nov. 28 Eastern State has a lengthy waiting list. Inmates can face weeks or months of sitting in jail just for an evaluation, before they can even begin arker says her family wants answers. Despite any trial proceedings. Mental health inmates can Cook’s previous letters, investigators did not sometimes serve more time in jail awaiting an recover any note. Detectives found no sign of any evaluation than they would have if convicted of criminal involvement and family members do not their underlying charge. It’s a major frustration dispute the death was suicide. But what Parker for all involved. wants to know is what else should have been In May of 2012, the Washington State Legdone? What could be done in the future so other islature imposed new standards requiring state people don’t suffer the same fate? hospitals to conduct evaluations within seven “It could have been prevented,” Parker says. days if a defendant was in custody of the jail. A “Eventually, with proper treatment, she could new legislative audit report released Jan. 7 shows have been helped.” Eastern State Hospital met that deadline in only Ray could not comment on Cook’s death, 1 percent of hundreds of evaluations it conbut says her staff works tirelessly to provide ducted. The average waiting the best possible care to period stretched to 33 days. everyone in the jail. She Monthly waitlist records NEXT WEEK IN THE knows they could do better from Eastern State Hospital STATE OF MIND SERIES with more staffing or money. show the backlog of jail A new jail with advanced Ketema Ross is a poet, a scholar, an inmates who have waited treatment facilities would go advocate, a diagnosed schizophrenic longer than seven days for a long way. Her staff also and, by law, an innocent man. Seven an evaluation has contincould use a full-time position years ago, he committed a violent ued to increase in the past to follow up with inmates crime for which he was later acquitted year, steadily rising from 19 after release to make sure by reason of insanity. He’s not serving people in January 2013 to they attend appointments. time behind bars, so why does he feel nearly 50 by the beginning County officials also could like a prisoner of the state? of this year. direct more defendants into Public defender Rearspecialized Mental Health don says she sent Eastern and Drug courts. State an urgent letter on Dec. 2 over a client she Eastern State Hospital has requested funding considered “extremely, extremely depressed,” for more beds and evaluators to expand treatasking for help to arrange a faster evaluation. She ment and speed evaluations. Disability Rights sent a follow-up letter on Dec. 28, reinforcing her Washington recommends increased involvement plea. The best she could get was Feb. 5, more with families and reducing the amount of time than two months after his initial booking. offenders spend in isolation. They say some jails “I’ve had a case recently where I finally just have introduced policies to refuse inmates with brought a motion to hold Eastern in contempt,” severe conditions, directing them to a facility of she says. “That got my client evaluated more higher care. quickly, which is an unfortunate reality.” “There’s so much more that everybody could Amanda Cook was booked into the Spokane do,” Ray says. “We could offer more services County Jail on Oct. 12. Her attorney filed a mohere if we had more resources and more staffing. tion seeking a mental health evaluation on Oct. Everybody could offer a higher level of care so 28. Seven days went by. Then 33 days passed [people] don’t get stuck in the system, so they without any evaluation. Cook sat waiting, locked don’t kind of go from the jail to Eastern to the down alongside dozens of other inmates facing streets and back and forth. But that all boils similar challenges. Her letters turned despondent. down to funding.” “I don’t know what the heck happened,” As Reardon again counts through her many Cook wrote her sister on Thanksgiving. “My clients with mental health issues, she says she head really got twisted, Melissa. Why did things reminds herself each defendant is somebody’s happen like this? I think I see where everything sister or father or grandparent. They’re all people is going.” who deserve the same compassion as anyone. Parker says Cook needed medication and But instead of getting treatment through a hospiinpatient treatment as she grew increasingly tal, they are getting trapped in a legal system that afraid of the jail staff and depressed over the lost is failing them. custody of her young daughter. On Dec. 3, just “Our system is broken,” she says. “It’s nothdays after her daughter’s 6th birthday and with ing any one person in particular is doing wrong, the holidays quickly approaching, Cook came to but our system is broken.”  her breaking point. jacobj@inlander.com “I really don’t understand why Spokane

30 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

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FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 31

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Winners will be announced in our March 20 issue. 32 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

THE INLANDER/BEST OF 1227 W. SUMMIT PARKWAY SPOKANE, WA 99201

VISUAL ARTS TOUR

1. AVENUE WEST GALLERY VISUAL ARTS TOUR

Feb. 7-8, artist receptions from Friday, 5-9 pm unless otherwise noted

707 W. Main Ave., second floor PAINTINGS | Spokane-based artist and art instructor Jack Rogers’ “The Great Outdoors” series.

2. BARILI CELLARS

608 W. Second Ave. PASTELS | Vicky Cavin’s “Pastels in Motion” features whimsical wildlife and figures in motion. Reception includes wine tasting and light snacks.

3. BARRISTER WINERY

1213 W. Railroad Ave. MIXED MEDIA | Barrister is partnering with Coeur d’Alene’s Art Spirit Gallery to present “The Best Work: Selected Artists of the Art Spirit Gallery” featuring work by Harold Balazs, Mel McCuddin, Kay O’Rourke, Jerri Lisk and others. Reception includes a bistro buffet and music by Lonesome Lyle Morse, from 6:30-10 pm.

4. BLUE DOOR THEATRE (not on map)

815 W. Garland Ave. PRINTS | “Bovey Showvey: Spokane Landmark Screen Print Posters” by Inlander art director Chris Bovey highlights local landmarks including Mt. Spokane, Dick’s Hamburgers and more. Evening comedy improv shows include “I Saw You” at 8 pm and “Short Stacks” at 10 pm.

5. BOZZI COLLECTION

221 N. Wall St., Ste. 226 PAINTINGS | Featuring Spokane artist Tom Quinn’s intensely colored and hardedged acrylic and oil paintings in “Stuff and Nonsense: What’s Right with This Picture?” Reception includes gourmet chocolate and cheese tasting. ...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 33

7 23

5 15

PARK

13 31

3 14 27

2 29

JACOB GREIF ILLUSTRATION

6. BRICK WALL PHOTOGRAPHIC GALLERY

530 W. Main Ave., skywalk level PHOTOGRAPHY | “Photographic Potpourri” features the work of regional photographers Joe Nuess, Erik Sohner, Stewart Harvey, Cole Thompson and others.

7. CHASE GALLERY AT CITY HALL

808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. DRAWING | The group exhibition “Drawing: Line, Strokes and Pathways” features drawings, installations and other work by local artists John DeRoulet, Rachel Dolezal, Noel Fountain, Staci E. Paige and Dennis Smith. Reception includes music by the Brad Keeler Trio.

8. CLARA WOODS ART RESTORATION (not on map)

1817 E. Sprague Ave. ARTIST SHOWCASE | “The Art of East Sprague Avenue” by Clara Woods and Haley Waddington.

9. CLEARSTORY GALLERY (not on map)

1202 N. Government Way MIXED MEDIA | Seattle-based artist Kathy Hastings’ “Intersections and Crossings” features photos enhanced

34 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

with encaustic oil paint and mica powder.

Material Culture from the Permanent Collection.”

10. DODSON’S JEWELERS

13. KIZURI

516 W. Riverside Ave. MIXED MEDIA | The showcase “Rwanda!” features paintings, jewelry and baskets created by African artisans, brought to Spokane by artist Emmanuel Nkuranga. Sales of artwork benefits Healing Hearts Northwest, a local nonprofit that annually travels to Rwanda to perform heart procedures.

11. GRANDE RONDE CELLARS

906 W. Second Ave. PAINTINGS | Lisa Marie Brown’s “Ode to Manito” is a collection of oil paintings featuring scenes from Manito Park, such as the Duncan Gardens, Gaiser Conservatory, Japanese Gardens and other areas. Reception features the Eugene Jablonsky Jazz Trio.

12. JUNDT ART MUSEUM AT GONZAGA (not on map)

502 E. Boone Ave. PHOTOGRAPHY | Featuring the museum’s two exhibits, “Manzanar: The Wartime Photos of Ansel Adams” and “What is Art? Visual and

35 W. Main Ave., in the Community Bldg. MIXED MEDIA | Kettle Falls, Wash.based professional artists Greg and Dort Pritchett display their respective works in watercolor and pottery. A portion of proceeds from the sale of art benefits Healing Hearts Northwest.

14. KOLVA-SULLIVAN GALLERY

115 S. Adams St. DRAWING | Carl Richardson’s “Objectification” showcases the artist’s love of drawing. Work showcased in the medium of charcoal on paper.

15. KRESS GALLERY AT RIVER PARK SQUARE

808 W. Main Ave., third level DIGITAL ART | “Futuristic Throwback” by James Frye, an artist diagnosed on the autism spectrum as a young child, features the artist’s handsketched electronic images transferred onto canvas. Reception also features music by Spokane Public Schools orchestra students.

16. LIBERTY BUILDING

402 W. Main Ave. MIXED MEDIA | Art in a variety of media is displayed throughout the building, for a group exhibit titled “Healing Waters: Tying Art to Nature,” featuring work by more than a dozen local artists. Proceeds benefit the nonprofit Project Healing Waters Fly Fishing. Reception activities include fly-tying demonstrations, food and drink, live music and more.

17. MISSING PIECE TATTOO

410 W. Sprague Ave. TATTOOS | “The History of the American Tattoo” features pieces from Ray Youngman’s collection, including artifacts such as tattoo stencils given to wartime soldiers and sailors and original hand-painted tattoo designs used from the early 1900s to the ’60s.

18. NECTAR TASTING ROOM

120 N. Stevens St. MIXED MEDIA | Melinda Melvin, artist-in-residence at the Bozzi Collection and Manic Moon & More, uses paint, ink and resin to give her work a glossy, 3-D effect for “The Art of Looking Beneath the Surface.”

19. PATIT CREEK CELLARS

822 W. Sprague Ave. ARTIST SHOWCASE | “Beyond Tradition,” an exhibit of Megan Broughton’s work. Features happy hour and live music from 7-9 pm.

20. POTTERY PLACE PLUS

203 N. Washington St. BATIKS | In “Exploration of Objects,” longtime local artist Toni Spencer presents batiks on silk fabrics. Spencer’s pieces are inspired by shapes and colors of nature.

21. SATORI

122 S. Monroe St. PAINTINGS | “Bliss” by Dezana Aman features large and colorful abstract paintings. Tango dancing is also offered at the dance studio.

22. SPOKANE ART SCHOOL (not on map)

809 W. Garland Ave. PRINTS | Solitude resonates throughout much of printmaker Viza Arlington’s work, which often includes symbols found in mythology and literature. Guests can register to attend Arlington’s printmaking workshop on Saturday from 3:306:30 pm.

23. SPOKANE POTTERS’ GUILD (not on map)

1404 N. Fiske St. POTTERY | “The Works” showcases work by the guild’s instructors and students, including thrown, hand-built and sculpted ceramic pieces. Reception includes wheel throwing demos and artists at work.

24. SPOKANE PUBLIC LIBRARY, DOWNTOWN

906 W. Main Ave., first floor gallery DRAWING | An exhibition by Karen Mobley titled “In Black and White” features a variety of subject matters, including animals and landscapes, using charcoal pencil on heavy-weight paper.

25. STEAM PLANT

159 S. Lincoln St. MIXED MEDIA | “The Art of Steampunk” features work from Miriam Wilde, Robert LaMonte, Karmen Naccarato and others taking on the themes of sci-fi, Victorian and industrial material expressions.

26. TINMAN GALLERY (not on map)

811 W. Garland Ave. MIXED MEDIA | For “The Prodigal Goose and the South of France,” Gordon Wilson’s images were created plein-air during a half-year sabbatical in the south of France. This show also features studio paintings of humans and animals. Reception includes music by the Tinman Trio.

27. TRACKSIDE STUDIO CERAMIC ART GALLERY

115 S. Adams St. CERAMICS | Trackside Studio’s Ceramic Art gallery artists Gina Freuen, Chris Kelsey and Mark Moore present an exhibition of ceramic works from Trackside Studio’s shelves, titled “Celebrating the New Year with the Old.”

28. V DU V WINERY (not on map)

12 S. Scott St. PAINTINGS | Artist Melissa Lang uses charcoal as well as acrylic and oil paints to create abstract paintings referencing the human experience. Live music and a wine tasting complement this event.

29. VINTAGE HILL CELLARS

319 W. Second Ave. MIXED MEDIA | “Wine-spiration” by John Dunning presents pieces created using reclaimed wood, metal and wine barrels.

30. WHITWORTH’S BRYAN OLIVER GALLERY (not on map)

300 W. Hawthorne Rd. MIXED MEDIA | Closing reception for “Poetics and Public Projection: Layered History — Redrawn Memory” by Rose Bond.

31. SARANAC ART PROJECTS

25 W. Main Ave. MIXED MEDIA | “Plain Site” featuring the work of member artists Jon Faulks and Roger Ralston.

Making Marks Carl Richardson made a New Year’s resolution — and an art show came out of it BY LEAH SOTTILE

hen Carl Richardson unplugged himself from every social network he could at the end of 2012, he made a promise to himself: every day in 2013, he would make one drawing. Just one. Didn’t have to be significant or perfect. He just wanted to sit down every day, and let his mind unload through a stub of charcoal and onto a piece of paper. At the end of the year, he’d have 365 drawings. For a month, he did it. He drew something new every single day. Then February came. Life happened. He’d skip a day and draw two the next. By the end of the month, his routine was gone — but he still gained something. “It did give me this little ritual that I have now, of drawing. Taking time to really just block everything else out and draw,” he says last week, perched on a tall stool in the silkscreening studio at Spokane Falls Community College, where he teaches. Any time he spent drawing — time reserved for him and him alone, and not online — was time well spent. “When I’m drawing, it’s just me and the charcoal and the paper, and I’m not being social. I may have some music on, but everything else is just tuned out. Which is great. It’s a form of meditation,” he says. Though he didn’t have 365 drawings at the end of the year, Richardson had a spark in his mind for a new show. It’s called “Objectification” — and that’s not implying what you might think. The show simply exhibits 81 charcoal drawings, which are all of totally random objects. Paper bags. Tools. Fruit. Fabric. There isn’t a greater meaning or mission or takeaway to the show, he says. This is an exhibition simply about making art. “Honestly, the whole doing [a drawing] once per day is just selfish reasons of just wanting to draw and to escape. And so the show was born out of that — just my love of drawing,” he says.

“Objectification” is a major departure from Richardson’s last exhibition. As one of five artists in Gonzaga University’s Jundt Gallery exhibition, “Drawn to the Wall V,” Richardson presented a bold piece called “We” on one of the giant museum walls. On it, he sketched a portrait of himself, face cast down, hands in the pockets of a black hooded sweatshirt with the hood flipped up. The outline of the state of Florida loomed in the background, the lyrics to Bob Marley’s “War” falling in and out of focus. It was a piece teeming with fear and uncertainty, anger and frustration. “The whole Trayvon Martin thing kept spinning in my head, and so that piece just spilled out of me, “ he says. He couldn’t help thinking of the similarities between himself and Martin: Richardson is black. He grew up in Florida, too. “That could’ve easily been me.” That show, to him, was all about message. “It was about not judging people based on their looks. If you’ve met me, and you don’t like me, I’m completely cool with that,” he says. “But if you don’t know me and you just look at my appearance and you don’t like me based on that, then that’s where there’s issues.” “Objectification” shows Richardson leaving the message out of his work, simply concentrating on the meditative act of drawing and being surprised by his own work. “The act of drawing is just the same — because it’s still just pushing charcoal around,” he says. “If you’re putting a message out there, you have to make sure it’s clear. [But] with these objects, there’s no message, so I can relax.” n leahs@inlander.com “Objectification,” featuring work by Carl Richardson • On display Feb. 7-28 • Artist reception: Fri, Feb. 7, from 5-9 pm • Kolva-Sullivan Gallery • 115 S. Adams • 448-5517

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 35

CULTURE | DIGEST

POETRY KENNETH GOLDSMITH I

Grammy and Tony AwardWinning Singer-Songwriter and Composer of the Broadway hits SPRING AWAKENING� and AMERICAN PSYCHO�

LADIES NIGHT AT THE BING

Seriously Funny Girl Talk by Nationally Known Comedians

f Kenneth Goldsmith lived in Spokane, here’s an idea of something he might put in one of his books: “SUPER BOWL XLVIII. Seahawks ‘12th Man’ gallery: See and be seen. THE SPOKESMAN REVIEW THURSDAY, JANUARY 30, 2014 | CHANCE OF SNOW HIGH 33, LOW 20. ‘Bette in Spokane’ Declined Options. McMorris Rodgers’ Speech Tells Story” That doesn’t make much sense, right? Well, when Goldsmith — the Museum of Modern Art’s first Poet Laureate — explains his art, it actually makes a great deal of sense. Goldsmith “copies” things — transcribing front pages of newspapers, morning talk radio programs and weather reports. So he might sit down with a particular copy of the Inlander or Spokesman-Review and transcribe every single word — from page numbers to advertisements to editorials. It’s his way of capturing the zeitgeist of a certain moment in time. Goldsmith’s new book, Seven American Deaths and Disasters, applies that strange technique to seven notable events in American history: things like the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Sept. 11, 2001 and the death of Michael Jackson. It’s something that Goldsmith has been equally praised and criticized for. He explained it recently on The Colbert Report: “What’s amazing to me is that there have been hundreds of books written about 9/11, and to my knowledge, nobody went to listen to the way those events were described,” he said. “Well maybe they listened to it, but then they did additional work,” Colbert shot back.

Kenneth Goldsmith takes a unique angle to writing history. Goldsmith chuckled. “Artists are dumb. We do things that you shouldn’t do. What I’m doing is too easy for an investigative reporter to do. And by doing something that is that simple, we’re uncovering something that nobody else has actually thought of.” In a sense, transcribing what was being said in those moments, Goldsmith captures our blind innocence in the moments before a disaster happens. — LEAH SOTTILE Kenneth Goldsmith reads from Seven American Deaths and Disasters • Mon, Feb. 10, at 7 pm • Gonzaga University • Jepson Center, Wolff Auditorium • 502 E. Boone • Free • A discussion on his website, UbuWeb, will be held at 1 pm in the Jundt Art Center • gonzaga.edu • 313-6611

For Your Consideration BY CLARKE HUMPHREY

SATURDAY FEB 15 8PM • $15 April Martinich

Susan Jones

Susan Rice

All ladies get 1/2 off their first beverage purchase

Susan Rice Has Opened For Jerry Seinfeld!

MAR. 2ND | 5PM | $15

Suggested Donation

Proceeds benefit CDA Summer Theater & Friends of the Bing

36 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

APP | Thanks to a cute new app called MILESTONE, I know that as I write this, my birthday is in 207,751 minutes or 3,462 hours or a whopping 12,465,089 seconds away. With Milestone, you’ll be able to count how long ago, or how long until, some meaningful thing happened, or happens. But you get to do it in all kinds of intervals: seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, days, months, years. And it goes a step further, offering notifications for when you reach certain benchmarks. So I’m expecting a ping on April 19, 2015, when I’ve officially been alive for 200,000 hours.

INTERNET | According to BUZZFEED QUIZZES, I should live in Paris, I should be a professor, and if I were a sandwich, I would be a cheeseburger with lettuce for buns. They have everything. They can even tell you which One Direction member you should marry. I was a little hurt when I took that quiz and found out that Louis is my soul mate and not Harry. These quizzes, as silly as they are, are actually a lot of fun, and even though I can’t listen to everything Buzzfeed says — like I’m obviously meant to marry Harry, not Louis — they’re kind of thought-provoking. Now I’m thinking maybe my dad really is Watson from Sherlock.

BOOK | Alissa Nutting’s debut novel TAMPA is definitely unlike anything I’ve ever read before, and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. The novel tells the story of Celeste Price, a beautiful woman in her mid-twenties who finds herself solely sexually attracted to prepubescent boys. So what does she do? She becomes an eighth-grade teacher and seduces one of her students in this sexually explicit and very American Psychoesque look at why relationships between teachers and their students happen. It’s funny, but in a very dark way, with incredibly smart writing. If illicit sexual affairs are your thing, give it a go.

Nuclear #Spiceawar organizers Remi André Olsen (left) and Pat O’Halloran gear up for Saturday’s contest. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Contestants in the Nuclear #Spiceawar will take the heat once more BY LAURA JOHNSON

n the middle of the busy restaurant, two men bite into their piled-high burgers with abandon. Sweat begins to form on their brows; a pink flush crosses their cheeks. “It has a good kick, a slow burn,” says Remi André Olsen of the Saranac Public House #Spiceawar Burger. For a sandwich that includes habanero, serrano, jalapeño, ghost, de árbol, pequin, japonés, chipotle and cayenne peppers, it makes sense that Olsen and his cohort Patrick O’Halloran are sweating. This isn’t the pair’s first time ingesting extreme heat. They are two of the creators behind next weekend’s Nuclear #Spiceawar spicy foods contest, which will be held at Saranac. After the most recent event at the now-closed Blue Spark in 2011, the participants weren’t sure they could handle another; it was just too painful to relive annually. They decided to retire the competition altogether. “After the last one, we pledged to our wives we’d never do this again,” O’Halloran explains. But three years later, this battle of wills is back for the third time, breaking down into four rounds and a grand finale. It’s every man and woman for themselves here — no teams. “That means you have to eat everything,” Olsen says

with a smile. to antioxidants, but gorging can really irritate one’s tisLocal restaurants, including Saranac, Santé Restausues and digestive tract. rant & Charcuterie, Spike’s Philly’s and More, Monterey “This is kind of like a burn in a way,” he says. “The Cafe and Brain Freeze Creamery, among others, will cool thing is, you can try supply the hot dishes for 10 contestants to eat as something like this and the quickly as possible. cell turnover in your mouth “Spicy food is one of those things you’re kind of and digestive system happens For the first time, one lucky scared of until you try it,” says O’Halloran. “But then relatively quickly.” audience member will be you build a tolerance and it becomes natural.” According to Hunt, a gasallowed to participate in The idea for #Spiceawar came when a group of trointestinal tract will regenerate Nuclear #Spiceawar. The friends wanted to see who could take the most heat new cells in three to five days. contestant will be chosen via in one sitting. They asked area eateries to provide the “So if you want to, go for it a bidding war. Proceeds from food — items like hot wings, pulled-pork sandwiches and have a little fun,” he says. the auction will go to the and infused tequila. At Saranac, Olsen and Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Best of all, the contest allowed for mad smackO’Halloran have polished off talking. Bart Mihailovich, the Spokane Riverkeeper, their burgers. They each grab recalls the previous time he participated in the event. napkins to wipe the spice from “The day after was worse than the worst hangover their fingers and chins. A look of satisfaction forms on ever,” he says. their faces. But he’s back for more. “I don’t like to lose, so I will “That was nothing,” O’Halloran says.  overcome any kind of physical pain,” he says. lauraj@inlander.com But just how healthy is it to eat a bunch of spicy food in one sitting? Nuclear #Spiceawar • Sat, Feb. 8, at 2:30 pm • Free to Craig Hunt, a local registered dietitian and nutrition watch • Saranac Public House • 21 W. Main • spocool. coach, maintains that spice in one’s diet is healthy thanks com • 473-9455

GIVE IT A TRY!

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 37

FOOD | REOPENING

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38 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

A Reuben sandwich from The Handle Bar. MEGHAN KIRK PHOTO

Revved Up Again

More than a year after a fire, the Handle Bar reopens in a new location BY COLLEEN FOGERTY

he Handle Bar is a world that revolves around booze and bikes. In the morning you’ll catch a crowd eating an early morning breakfast before they head off to work. By lunch, they’ll be back, covered head-to-toe in grease, ready to dive into a homemade burger. Patrons will thumb through their stapled paper menu, leaving it stained but perfectly readable. The Handle Bar isn’t out to impress with the presentation of its menu — the Spokane Valley bar and restaurant would rather spend its time pleasing guests with its food. With a long list of breakfast, lunch and dinner items, there’s something for everyone. At night, when the drinks start flowing, the bar comes alive. It’s a spacious room with pool tables and a projector screen that covers a wall from floor to ceiling, sparing only a centimeter, if that. Once the snow melts and summer rolls around, a back patio area is set to give guests even more room to hang out and enjoy a drink. After a fire in November 2012 destroyed the original location on Appleway Avenue, erasing the endless hours spent remodeling it, the Han-

dle Bar reopened at the current location on Trent Avenue. When the restaurant was damaged in the fire, so was Hell Yeah Cycles, the motorcycle shop attached. Naturally, the bikes came along to the new location. The Handle Bar is covered in orange and black and frequented by motorcycle aficionados, but you’ll be perfectly welcome even if you don’t own a Harley. The goal here is to create a great atmosphere for all. A friendly, passionate staff is one way the restaurant achieves this goal. Despite the setback, the Handle Bar seems to be doing just fine. It’s far from a dive bar, but the unique combination of bikes, beer and food results in a biker bar with a splash of class that is open to all. Whether you’re in need of a motorcycle repair, lunch or just a good time, the Handle Bar has got you covered.  food@inlander.com The Handle Bar • 12005 E. Trent • Open Mon-Thu, 11 am-close; Fri-Sun, 7 am-close • 474-0933

NEW SECTION

Health in the

Turn to page 58

FOOD | OPENING

Northside Thai Thai cuisine makes its way to Mead BY JO MILLER

he Newport Highway traffic roars by outside, but inside there’s a subtle buzz of the afternoon crowd talking over their plates of pad Thai and curries. The little red building in north Mead has housed a few different food places: an Italian restaurant, a donut shop and more recently the Mercury Grill. But for about a year, Maw Phin has been at that location serving up Thai food. Diners are greeted with a plate of crab rangoon — dumplings that are externally crispy and internally juicy — when they sit down. The menu is chock-full of traditional Thai dishes, such as stir-fries, noodles and rice, curries and the ever-popular pad Thai. They also serve house specialties like pad woon sen ($11.95), which features stir-fried bean thread noodles, shrimp, carrots, eggs, celery, onions, broccoli and bean sprouts, as well as pineapple curry ($9.95) made with coconut milk, carrots and jasmine rice. We tried the drunken noodles ($10.95), which came out as a steaming hot heap of Get the scoop with our stir-fried flat, wide rice noodles mixed with weekly newsletter. Visit pork (you can also choose chicken, beef, Inlander.com/newsletter. shrimp or tofu), bamboo shoots, broccoli, red and green bell peppers, mushrooms and onions, topped with Thai basil leaves. Suggestion: Pair it with a glass of their sweet-but-not-too-sweet Thai iced tea ($2.50). Owner Robert Zornes previously worked in construction, but switched to the restaurant business, using what he learned from his family, who had been in the business. “When I was young I was always around it,” he says. Zornes opened Maw Phin for his wife, who is Thai, and brought in chef Nicky Fair to run the kitchen. Fair has cooked at other area restaurants, including Grandma Jai’s Excellent Thai in Airway Heights and Linnie’s Thai Cuisine in downtown Spokane, and his sister owns A Taste of Thai on Hastings Road. “People come from Airway Heights, the Valley and Newport once they find out he’s cooking,” Zornes says. Fair says he’s been cooking all of his life and considers making food for people a source of happiness. “I say to myself, ‘Always cook from the heart, always,’” Fair says. “People like that. It tastes better from the heart.” n

$17.Salad9Entrée5 Dessert

NEW 3-Course Dinner Menu 5-9 pm daily

SALADS Green salad or Caesar salad ENTRÉES Baby back ribs Safari Room gumbo Braised short ribs Creole chicken pot pie Herb grilled wild salmon

ENTRÉE

MINI DESSERTS German Chocolate Cake • Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Crème Brûlée • Chocolate Mousse • Key Lime Pie • Cheesecake

Maw Phin • 14819 N. Newport Hwy., Mead • Open Tue-Sun, 11 am-8 pm • 466-8424

BEST F’N BREAKFAST IN TOWN

Baby Back Ribs

Come on out for some great food.

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FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 41

All-Star History

and angry sides. Clooney has also grown steadily as a director, and this, his fifth feature, gives him his biggest palette yet. The story and its characters are complicated, the mood and tone is constantly shifting, and Clooney has it all under control with a sure hand and a keen eye. There’s breezy chatter among the Monument Men during some downtime, which smoothly morphs into quiet, thoughtful talk about what they’re doing and how they can’t let so much of mankind’s greatest achieveon all over Europe. ments be destroyed or stolen. There are problems with By the next year, Stokes has assembled a team of the American military stationed there, many members men that includes a museum director, an architect, an of which don’t believe that saving art is more vital than impresario, and others involved in the arts. The plan was winning the war, and that bombing a so-called important to protect what’s left (buildings and monuments) and find building might help hasten victory. Things turn political, what’s missing (paintings, statues and, specifically, the or maybe sociopolitical, with the subject of Adolf Hitler Ghent Altarpiece, which the Nazis had stolen). planning to open his own Fuhrer Museum, and filling Clooney long ago proved his ability to carry a film much of it with pieces taken from the homes of Jewish as an actor, but turns this into an ensemble piece where collectors. no one character is more imporThe film works on different levels tant than another. So even though as a thriller and a mystery, and has its THE MONUMENTS MEN Clooney plays the guy in charge, we share of tragedy. Then in the middle of Rated PG-13 also get Bill Murray and Bob Balaban Directed by George Clooney it all, we’re plunked down into a wartime comically bickering with each other, Starring George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill holiday get-together, with a lovely rendiJohn Goodman being his usually tion of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas Murray, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman blustery self, Matt Damon — working (performed by 16-year-old Nora Sagal) in France, away from the rest of the piped in, to soothing effect. group — pulling off a running gag about butchering the Clooney and co-writer Grant Heslov have given the French language, Hugh Bonneville and Jean Dujardin film a tense, exciting, crowd-pleasing ending that reaches adding some continental flair, and Cate Blanchett, as a a bit into rah-rah, flag-waving territory. But that’s fine. secretive museum assistant, showing off her frustrated It’s all part of the entertainment. 

Clooney assembles one of the best casts in recent memory for The Monuments Men BY ED SYMKUS

s The Monuments Men — a film, based on a book, based on a real story — actually telling us the truth? The film says that its heroes were art experts from the U.S., England and France who, posing as Allied soldiers, went to Germany in the middle and late stages of World War II to find works of art plundered by the Nazis and to save works of art that might otherwise have been destroyed by Allied forces. But historians, from both the military and art worlds, are now saying that they actually were military officers, not experts posing as them. I haven’t read the book. But it doesn’t matter to me. It’s a movie; it’s supposed to inform and entertain, and there’s always going to be some bending of the truth when a fact-based story makes it to the screen. George Clooney, who stars in, directed, and co-wrote the film, freely admits that some of the names were changed, and some of the characters were invented. But the basics of the real story are definitely here. In this version, we meet art historian Frank Stokes (Clooney) in 1943, as he’s making a passionate presentation to President Roosevelt about the loss of culture going

42 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

You would jump in a foxhole with Bill Murray, admit it.

FILM | SHORTS

OTHER OPENING FILMS THE LEGO MOVIE

From the directing team (Chris Miller and Phil Lord) who gave us the pretty good Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and the hip and raunchy 21 Jump Street comes a delightful surprise. Yeah, The Lego Movie is colorful and has a message about being creative and working together to solve problems and tells of the fight between good and (corporate) evil, but it’s also totally whacked, from its dizzily stunning visuals (Legos everywhere! Non-stop action!) and its plentiful supply of goofy references that only adults will get. Kids will love its look; adults will dig its eccentric soul. (ES) Rated PG

THE MONUMENTS MEN

George Clooney’s fifth outing as a director has him in a co-starring role, opposite a great ensemble: Matt Damon, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett and John Goodman, among them. It’s the (mostly) true story of the men and women who took it upon themselves to save great works of art and architecture from plundering Nazis and gung-ho, ever-bombing Allied forces during WWII. It’s a thriller and a mystery, has many comic and a few tragic moments, and is the most complicated and strongest piece of directing so far from Clooney. (ES) Rated PG-13

NURSE 3D

Abby Russell is one killer nurse. By day she is saving lives at All Saints Memorial Hospital, but at night she is taking

them. In this sexy action thriller, you’ll watch nurse Abby seduce cheating men and bring them to their early death. But when the unstable Abby becomes fixated on the new, innocent nurse Danni, her vicious rampage explodes. (CF) R

AMERICAN HUSTLE

AT MIDDLETON

In this romantic comedy, shot in Spokane and Pullman, an unhappy mom (Vera Farmiga) ends up on a college tour for her daughter on which she runs into an unhappy dad (Andy Garcia) who is bringing his own son to check out the college. The two quickly defect from the tour and go on a romp of the campus, finding out a lot about each other’s lives, and their own. It’s perfectly charming, funny and a great chance to see the campuses of Gonzaga and WSU morph into one. Garcia and Farmiga are incredible together. At Wandermere Village Centre Cinemas (MB) Rated R

BLUE JASMINE

New York socialite Jasmine (Cate Blanchett) is down on her luck. Her marriage to a wealthy husband (Alec Baldwin) fell apart after he lost all their money in a Wall Street scam, forcing Jasmine to move to San Francisco to live with her sister, Ginger, a grocery store clerk. To Jasmine, it seems like there’s not much left in her life to look forward to, as she struggles to cope with her downfall from

THE INLANDER’S MOVIE NIGHT AT

OSCAR-NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS

Around 1650, a device called the magic lantern became the first known example of projected animation, so what better place to celebrate this year’s greatest animated shorts than the Magic Lantern Theatre. Come watch a new take on old school Mickey Mouse as he takes on PegLeg Pete in Get a Horse! And see how Mr. Hublot deals with newfound chaos in his meticulously organized life. Also enjoy the brilliant art and timeless tales of the haunting short Feral, the clever short Possessions and the adorable short Room on the Broom. Additional animated shorts are to be decided. (CF)

VAMPIRE ACADEMY

When vampire princess Lissa Dragomir is forced to return to high school at a secret boarding school, her best friend and guardian-in-training, Rose Hathaway, is right by her side. Unfortunately, the potential threats against the royal teen at St. Vladimir’s Academy are high. Luckily, Rose is willing to sacrifice everything for her and trains to protect Lissa from dangers in and around the Academy. (CF) PG-13

NOW PLAYING Coming off the splendid Silver Linings Playbook, director David O. Russell is back, bringing the stars of that film, Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper, along. This time, the subject matter is a little more intense: He takes us back to the glittery 1970s for a crime drama about a group of corrupt politicians living the high life in New Jersey. (MB) Rated R

DATE NIGHT T!

TINA FEY’S HILARIOUS DEBUT SCREENPLAY STARRING LINDSAY LOHAN, RACHEL MCADAMS, AMY POEHLER AND AMANDA SEYFRIED RATED PG-13

a life of luxury to one where she’s forced to decide whether she should become a dental receptionist or a nurse. In Blue Jasmine, writer/director Woody Allen presents us a modern yet familiar character study of how the haves and the havenots perceive themselves. (CS) PG-13

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

The true story of the Vermont cargo ship captain who delivers food and water to Africa, and whose ship is hijacked by Somali pirates is both a nail-biter and a fascinating character study, mostly centering on the relationship between the cool, calm captain (Tom Hanks) and the determined but unsure pirate leader Muse (newcomer Barkhad Abdi). The adventure parts are thrilling, the attack and takeover is unnerving, the lifeboat sequences are claustrophobic. (ES) Rated PG-13

DEVIL’S DUE

When a newlywed couple is surprised with a pregnancy, they believe the surprises will end there. Unfortunately, they don’t. As months pass, the husband notices increasingly dark and disturbing changes in his wife. When these changes become horrifically dismaying, questions begin to arise about what his wife is carrying inside. (CF) Rated R

DIFFERENT DRUMMERS

Set in 1965 Spokane, this locally produced film tells the true story of Lyle Hatcher (who co-wrote and co-directed ...continued on next page

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FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 43

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the film with Don Caron), who befriended a wheelchair-bound boy at his school suffering from muscular dystrophy. The film tells the story of how Hatcher, full of copious amounts of energy, tried to teach his friend to run as the two became inseparable, getting into no shortage of trouble along the way. At AMC only. (MB) Rated PG

FROZEN

Frozen is a princess story; Disney is doubling down on the princesses — there’s two of ’em here. But Disney is also doubling down on the hints of nascent feminism Brave hinted at, the sort of barebones feminism which accepts that girls and women might possibly want more out of life than to get married. The princesses are sisters — the elder Elsa (the voice of Idina Menzel) and the younger Anna (the voice of Kristen Bell) — and this is mostly the story of their troubled relationship because Elsa is known to turn things into ice with her magical powers. (MJ) Rated PG

HER

In a near-future Los Angeles, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) earns a paycheck by penning intimate correspondence for those who don’t possess his way with words, but is soon left by his frustrated wife (Rooney Mara). Writer-director Spike Jonze allows his introverted sad sack to find companionship in the form of the world’s first artificially intelligent operating system. (CW) Rated R

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

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Dr. Frankenstein’s immortal creation is resurfacing some 200 years after its inception. Based on Kevin Grevioux’s novel, this film shows the captivating creature, Adam, as he discovers the fate of humanity lies in his hand. This action film will take you through the all-out war that is sweeping through the dystopian society as Adam engages in battle with supernatural gargoyles and demons. (CF) PG-13

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Splitting up a novel into three movies might seem like a bad idea, but most audience members will be still trying to keep track of all the names in this fantasy flick based on the Tolkien classic. (Smaug? Biblo? Erebor? Come on, now.) This second chunk features the majority of the action as Biblo Baggins (Martin Freeman) journeys with Wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellan) and 13 dwarves to save the dwarf kingdom of Erebor. (ER) PG-13

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Joel and Ethan Coen, following their own footsteps of filling a film with music, as they did in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, this time take on the early ’60s Greenwich Village folk scene. The title character (Oscar Isaac) is a multi-talented folkie who has no people skills and is likely ahead of his time. The people around him seem to cause nothing but crises, but the determined Llewyn sings on, against all odds. Not always a good idea in a Coen Brothers film. At AMC (ES) Rated R

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT

bucks, Woody Grant, a reckless, lonely boozer played by 77-year-old Bruce Dern, heads out from Montana to Nebraska to claim his fortune. He takes along his skeptical son (Will Forte), who’s humoring him, as Woody tells everyone he knows that he’s become a millionaire, gathering clingy new money-hungry friends along the way. Payne (Sideways, The Descendants, Election) shot the film in black and white, adding its already present sense of despair. At Magic Lantern (MB) R

KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM

This animated feature begins with cute little animals who are worried about starving, introduces a group of violenceminded bank robbers, sets up a confusing message about the differences (or is it the similarities) between selfishness and heroism, and features bland voice performances that go with a bunch of unappealing characters. (ES) PG

While working for a billionaire in Moscow, Jack Ryan unearths a plan to take down the U.S. economy. Now he is the only one with the brains and bravery to stop this collapse. This film follows Ryan on his action-packed mission to clear his name, protect his loved ones, and save his country. Based on a character created by author Tom Clancy, Jack Ryan is played by Chris Pine, who is supported by Keira Knightley and Kevin Costner. (CF) PG-13 Spokane is finally getting its chance to see this sci-fi/horror comedy film shot here more than three years ago. Prepare to learn all about the intricacies of LARPing — live action role playing, that is. Knights takes viewers on a crazy LARPing adventure with friends Eric (Steve Zahn), Hung (Peter Dinklage) and their nonLARPing roomie, Joe (Ryan Kwanten). But when a supposedly fake spell goes wrong, the trio accidentally summon a blood-sucking demon. At Magic Lantern (CS) Rated R

LABOR DAY

Life isn’t too exciting for 13-year-old Henry Wheeler and his mother Adele. But on a rare trip to town for some backto-school shopping, they meet an injured man who convinces them to let him stay in their home. Later, this man reveals he is a convict, but this doesn’t change his captivating nature. Over the long holiday weekend, this mysterious man will change the lives of Henry and Adele forever. (CF) PG-13

LONE SURVIVOR

Grab your tissue box and prepare to bawl out your eyes in the movie adaption of one soldier’s true story of survival. As the title reveals, four Navy Seals go on a mission to neutralize a high-level Taliban operative and are ambushed by enemy forces and, tragically, only one returns. The story though, is not only about survival, but also about the ties of brotherhood, and the consequences of choices made seemingly for the greater good. (ER) Rated R

NEBRASKA

Finding a Publishers Clearing House envelope stating that he’s won a million

THE NUT JOB

PHILOMENA

Philomena Lee, an elderly British woman, confides in her daughter that she gave birth to a son in Ireland 50 years earlier. Unwed at the time, she was forced to give him up for adoption. Martin, a former government adviser and journalist out of a job, is looking for a story idea to bring to his editor. At a party, he hears of Philomena. Together, he and Philomena investigate the life of her lost son and find themselves exploring America looking for answers. At Magic Lantern (KS) Rated R

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT

When one friend suffers a nasty breakup, his two best friends join him in swearing off relationships for as long as possible. But it isn’t long before these three men find love and are forced to navigate through the awkwardness of modern day relationships. Starring Zac Efron, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan, this comedy is a classic portrayal of today’s dating scene. (CF) Rated R

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

Martin Scorsese’s satirical adaptation of a memoir by Jordan Belfort, who rose from Long Island penny stock swindler to shady Wall Street power player, is so over the top that it risks becoming what it sets out to mock. But it’s a spectacle of opulence that demands to be seen. (SS) Rated R.

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

VARIETY

(LOS ANGELES)

METACRITIC.COM (OUT OF 100)

Inside Llewyn Davis

Her

American Hustle

At Middleton

Labor Day

Lone Survivor

The Monuments Men

DON’T MISS IT

WORTH $10

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FILM | ESSAY

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School of Fey

The Plastics are part of Tina Fey’s cautionary tale.

THE LEGO MOVIE

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LABOR DAY

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R Daily (2:15) (4:20) 6:25 8:45

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT I, FRANKENSTEIN PG-13 Daily 8:50

NUT JOB

FROZEN SING ALONG [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1200 PM)

PG Daily (2:50) (4:50) 6:40 Sat-Sun (10:50) (12:50)

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PG-13 Fri-Sun (2:30) (4:40) 7:00 9:15 Sat-Sun (12:15) Mon-Thu (2:20) (4:30) 6:50 9:00

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT RIDE ALONG

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R Daily (2:15) (4:45) 7:15 9:45 Sat-Sun (11:45) Mon-Thu (1:45) (4:15) 6:45 9:10

Adv. Tix on Sale ROBOCOP

Intended Publication Date(s): Friday, February 07, 2014. Saturday, February 08, 2014. Sunday, February 09, 2014. Published WA, Inlander [I_Directory_Update to Publish or Proof] 1.7" X 11" Produced: 7:00 PM ET, 2/4/2014 020414070038 Regal 865-925-9554

ou might be hard-pressed to remember, but there was a time when Tina Fey wasn’t a household name. This was when a New York Times review of her first produced screenplay would introduce her simply as the woman who does the satirical newscast on Saturday Night Live. But with Mean Girls, Fey rose to another level. In just a few short years, she’d be the biggest female name (and one of the biggest names, period) in all of comedy. It’s nearly been 10 years since Mean Girls stormed the box office, first on the appeal of its not-yet-a-train-wreck star Lindsay Lohan, then on the strength of the film’s outrageously funny take on high school life. This past decade has seen the movie find the sort of status few teen-centric films have achieved since John Hughes was in his prime. While Mean Girls strays from reality in a number of instances— there is no principal as insane as the one Tim Meadows portrays — the film is very much grounded in the brutal actuality of the modern high school. Most don’t realize that Fey based her script in part on a nonfiction book by Rosalind Wiseman called Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence. Knowing

VAMPIRE ACADEMY

PG-13 Fri-Sun (2:30) (4:50) 7:10 9:30 Sat-Sun (12:00) Mon-Thu (2:10) (4:30) 6:50 9:10

PG-13 Daily (2:50) (5:00) 7:10 9:20 Mon-Thu (2:40) (4:50) 7:00 9:10

Ten years later, Mean Girls still teaches kids a lesson (with a laugh) BY MIKE BOOKEY

MONUMENTS MEN

that Fey was able to adapt a parenting book into a comedic romp (with some stylistic help from director Mark Waters) makes Mean Girls all the more remarkable because it works as a what-notto-do guide for being a teenager (or dealing with teenagers). In the decade to come, the sort of bullying and underhandedness we see Lohan’s Cady both endure and practice, as she navigates the social landscape of a school that’s been all but hijacked by a trio of self-proclaimed “Plastics,” would only amplify. The “burn book” the girls in the film use to defame their classmates went digital and made life a living hell for a lot of kids. Tina Fey has never claimed to be a moralist, but the monologue her character delivers near the film’s climax should serve as a lesson in getting along to high school classes for years to come. Don’t get me wrong; the film is very, very funny, as it was always intended to be, but there’s more to it — just as there was always more to Fey than the woman who did the fake news on SNL. n Suds and Cinema: Mean Girls • Thu, Feb. 13 • Beer flows at 7 pm, movie at 8 • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • $4 admission, $4 beers from Selkirk Abbey (with ID) • All-ages

FROZEN

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LABOR DAY [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(100) 415 710 955

PG-13 Daily (1:20) (3:50) 6:30 9:00 Fri-Sun (10:50)

I, FRANKENSTEIN [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.1005 PM

PG-13 Daily (2:30) (4:50) 7:10 9:30 Fri-Sun (12:00)

RIDE ALONG [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1255) 405 705 950 JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1240 315) 635 945 THE NUT JOB [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1250 PM 305 PM)

VAMPIRE ACADEMY THE LEGO MOVIE

PG Daily (1:20) (3:40) 6:10 9:00 Fri-Sun (11:15) In 2D Daily (12:30) (2:45) (5:00) 7:15 9:25 Fri-Sun (10:15)

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT

R Daily (2:15) (4:20) 6:25 8:45 Fri (12:15)

LABOR DAY

PG-13 Daily (2:00) (4:30) 7:00 9:35

I, FRANKENSTEIN PG-13 Daily 8:30

AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY

LONE SURVIVOR [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(1245 340) 640 940

R Daily (1:30) (4:00) 6:45 9:20 Fri-Sun (11:00)

AMERICAN HUSTLE [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.615 PM 925 PM

PG Daily (12:50) (2:50) (4:50) 6:40 Fri-Sun (10:50)

FROZEN [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(100 PM) 430 PM 700 PM

PG-13 Daily (2:30) (4:40) 7:00 9:10 Fri (12:15)

THE SARATOV APPROACH (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1230 330) 625 915

LONE SURVIVOR

NUT JOB

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT RIDE ALONG

PG-13 Daily (2:50) (5:00) 7:10 9:30 Fri (12:40) R Daily (2:15) (4:45) 7:15 9:45 Fri-Sun (11:45)

FROZEN

PG Sing-A-Long Version Daily (3:50) Daily (1:30) 6:15 8:35 Fri-Sun (11:00)

ROBOCOP Starts Wednesday

Adv. Tix on Sale ROBOCOP MET OPERA: MUSALKA (NR)

PG-13 Wed-Thu (1:40) (4:20) 7:00 9:40

Sat.955 AM

Times For 02/07 - 02/09

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People’s Choice The Upbeat app combines the ease of Reddit with the music Internet users actually want to hear BY LAURA JOHNSON

DERRICK KING ILLUSTRATION

he idea came as many do, over lunch. The three co-workers from various departments in a Los Angeles-area startup would meet to dine and also talk of music and the future. It was out of shared distaste for popular radio, where record labels often dictate what makes the Top 40, that the young entrepreneurs saw their chance. They wanted to make something fresh that would allow users to easily discover music from around the globe. Late last summer, the trio decided to go forth with their innovation, calling it Upbeat. Clark Dinnison, a Spokane native, along with Shaun Russell and Phillip Robertson, worked tireless evenings and weekends until their own startup website was ready to make its mark in October. Just a couple of days after the launch, their app had attracted 1,000 users.

Taking a model already used by Reddit, they introduced a free platform solely curated by peers. Songs people liked could be voted up; songs people wanted to skip would fall to the bottom. “We’re the democratic solution to the Billboard charts,” Russell explains. “So if people want to know what’s happening right now in music, Upbeat is where they should go.” Unlike Spotify, which allows you to discover new music based on what you listened to in the past, or Hype Machine, which is dictated by music bloggers, Upbeat provides music regular people are stoked about right on the home page. The app was designed to be user-friendly with a minimalistic feel. Anyone can upload and submit a song via SoundCloud. Once the song is streaming, it’s up to

users to decide if it’s a favorite or not. “Karma points” are earned every time a user’s song is upvoted. Listeners can also purchase any of the tracks they want by clicking on a direct link to Amazon. Sure, a hit Miley Cyrus song can be uploaded at any time, but that doesn’t guarantee it will float to the top of the pile. “I’d say indie pop is the most popular,” Dinnison, 24, says. “But it’s fun to see people committing to less-known genres like jazz.” Currently, the application has more than 6,000 users and features around the same number of songs to discover. With programming and marketing backgrounds, the three have created the service without any outside funding. ...continued on next page

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 47

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“PEOPLE’S CHOICE,” CONTINUED... “It’s just rewarding to see this working, to see people using our product,” Russell, 29, says. “We all love music and Upbeat is just fun to develop,” Robertson, 23, adds. “It’s like you’re not even working.” While Russell and Robertson have each been in bands, Dinnison writes about music on his blog Noon Pacific. He says he cultivated an interest in music by going to shows in Spokane as a kid. Moving to California after attending the University of Washington, Dinnison’s goal was to work for a startup. “I think it’s very common for people who work for startups to catch the entrepreneurial spirit and want to start their own,” he says. “You’re learning a lot on the job so you want to do your own thing.” Upbeat, which is most effectively used in the Google Chrome and Safari browsers, has been a learning process for the team. From the start, user feedback helped them tweak the platform. They still have challenges — the first item that appears in a Google search for Upbeat is a workout

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app of the same name. “We really focus on the social loop with Upbeat — a lot of sharing songs on Twitter and Facebook,” Russell says. These days, the guys don’t have lunch together as frequently. Robertson recently moved back to Alabama to finish his degree, but the co-creators continue to carry on as if they all still lived in the same city. “It’s all really remote. So we’ll get online after work, get on Chat and make phone calls if we need to,” Dinnison says. Yet spending hours on the app almost every night isn’t a chore. They have plans to incorporate more audio platforms and ways to purchase music into the service. In their eyes, this is the future of music. “Upbeat really is the Internet’s music charts,” Dinnison says. “It would be awesome to take this full-time.” n lauraj@inlander.com Learn more at upbeatapp.com.

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MUSIC | ROCK

Kid Congo Powers, in front, continues his punk rock legacy with Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds.

Loud and Proud Kid Congo Powers is a punk rock legend, but he hasn’t shown his true self until now BY LEAH SOTTILE

id Congo Powers used to play guitar in Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. When he first started out, he was in the Cramps. He was also one of the founding members in the legendary punk band the Gun Club. In music circles, his guitarwork is respected and loved the world over. But right now, talking on the phone from his home in Washington, D.C., he’s saying he just recently figured out who he was. “The Cramps, the Gun Club and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds are all bands who definitely had a very strong vision of what they wanted to do from the get-go,” he explains. “Nothing was going to stop them from being themselves and doing what they wanted to do.” He was a big part of that — making music with characters who would never compromise their vision for anyone or anything. “I think that’s quite a noble thing to do for your creativity and what you think is right about it. … You’re not always a popular person when you do that.” But still, it took going to a late-oughts Cramps show, in which he watched his old bandmates lay themselves out onstage for their audience, for it to occur to him that they were just being themselves.

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“That’s one thing that took a long time to figure out,” Powers says, chuckling a little. “I was like, ‘I have been a part of this and I’m able to tap into this way of being. And why don’t I just do that? Why don’t I just be myself?’” Powers being himself is what launched his latest band, Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds. In the wide, wide world of garage rock, he’s found a sound that is wholly unique. The band’s latest release, Haunted Head, is a rolling, lurching, dark, garage record, filled to the brim with splashy surf guitars. It’s a dreamy, sexy, haunting sound. Like the Gun Club, this band collides styles — mixing the beautiful and the abrasive. Powers, soon to be 55, says music has shaped him as a person. In fact, he stopped working on a revision of his memoir to take this interview. He says it’s a coming of age story about music and life — a diary of a musical life: “What went into making … me.”  leahs@inlander.com Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds with Cheap Time, Primal Shakes • Sat, Feb. 8, at 8 pm • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • $10/$12 day of • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

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FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 49

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

AMERICANA DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS

or a band from North Lake Tahoe, Calif., Dead Winter Carpenters have played in this neck of the woods more than you might expect, including last year’s Pig Out in the Park. Next week, the crew stops in Moscow for two nights before heading to Mootsy’s. It’s more than OK that the five-piece wants to perform here. They’re just pure entertainment — especially when fiddle player Jenni Charles warps into full beast mode, nearly sawing her strings in two with her fiery bow work. Add a hard-hitting upright bass, drums and a pair of guitars, and you’ve got a ramblin’ Americana act that’lll make you wish the evening never had to end. — LAURA JOHNSON Dead Winter Carpenters • Feb. 10-11 at 9:30 pm • John’s Alley • 114 E. 6th St., Moscow • 208-8837662 • Thu, Feb. 13, at 9 pm with Folkinception • $8 • Mootsy’s • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW

Thursday, 02/6

J THE BARTLETT, Desert Noises, Aan, Moon Talk BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn BOOMERS CLASSIC ROCK BAR & GRILL, DJ Yasmine J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Open Jazz Jam BUCKHORN INN, Texas Twister COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, PJ Destiny FEDORA PUB, CdA Charter Academy Jazz Jam J THE HOP!, Spokane Boxing Fundraiser feat. The Colourflies JONES RADIATOR, Moondogs J KNITTING FACTORY, Iration, Natural Vibrations, The Movement, Micah Brown J LAGUNA CAFÉ, Just Plain Darin LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, Likes Girls J LUXE COFFEEHOUSE, Dirk Lind MONARCH MOUNTAIN COFFEE (208265-9382), Open mic hosted by Scott Reid O’SHAY’S, Open mic J THE PHAT HOUSE, T. Mike and Lucas Brown THE VAULT SOCIAL CLUB, DJ Seli ZOLA, Fus Bol

Friday, 02/7

J BABY BAR, Teen Blonde, Sea Giant, DJ Case BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn J BING CROSBY THEATER, Toad the Wet Sprocket THE BLIND BUCK, DJ Mayhem BOLO’S, YESTERDAYSCAKE J BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE, Justin Mitchell BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Greg Hodapp BUCKHORN INN, NativeSun J CHAIRS COFFEE, Open Mic of Openness CHECKERBOARD BAR, Daniel & The

50 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

BLUES HOPELESS JACK & THE HANDSOME DEVIL “H

opeless” Jack Beisel’s rich, buttery baritone is the kind of voice that sticks with you. At times his vocals are smooth as fine bourbon; other times he conjures the cracked croon of a desperate bluesman. Put that voice over wailing guitar and Pete Thomas on drums and you’ve got Hopeless Jack & the Handsome Devil. No matter how much the duo wants to talk about how they’re rock ‘n’ rollers, their music really is blues — bona fide, straight-from-the-gut howlin’ blues. As the Portland act proved in its 2013 release, Don’t Waste Your Time No Money Here, there’s nothing quiet about them. — LAURA JOHNSON Hopeless Jack & The Handsome Devil with The Mayfields, Silver Treason • Sat, Feb. 8, at 9 pm • $5 • 21+ • Mootsy’s • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570

Blonde, Sweet Rebel D, Gardening Angel COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Sammy Eubanks, Bill Bozly COLDWATER CREEK WINE BAR, Ron Kieper THE COUNTRY CLUB, County Line CURLEY’S, Dragonfly EAGLE’S LODGE (489-3030), Texas Twister FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Bruiser THE FLAME, DJ Wesone GRANDE RONDE CELLARS, Barry Aiken and North Point THE HANDLE BAR, Kidd Whiskey IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY (208-2902280), Charley Packard IRON HORSE BAR, The Jam Band JOHN’S ALLEY, Whiskey Syndicate J JONES RADIATOR, Ampersand, Go Man Go’s, Moon Talk LIBRARY LOUNGE (747-3371), Big Hair Revolution MAX AT MIRABEAU, Salty Dog

MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR, Maxie Ray Mills, Steve Sackett MICHAEL’S O.P. (447-3355), The Cronkites J MOOTSY’S, Bodhi Drip, Air Waves, Ian L. Miles, Blake Noble J MT. SPOKANE SKI AND SNOWBOARD PARK (238-2220), Flying Mammals NECTAR TASTING ROOM (869-1572), Gator Loops NYNE, DJ C-Mad O’SHAY’S, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Mike & Shana Thompson J THE PHAT HOUSE, Ragtime Steve ROADHOUSE COUNTRY ROCK BAR, Last Chance Band THE ROCK BAR AND LOUNGE (4433796), Armed & Dangerous SERGIO’S MEXICAN SPORTS GRILL (747-2085), Redeye Logic WEBSTER’S RANCH HOUSE SALOON (474-9040), Kicho

ZOLA, The Rub

Saturday, 02/8

J THE BARTLETT, Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds (See story on page 49), Cheap Time, Primal Shakes BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn THE BLIND BUCK, DJ Daethstar BOLO’S, YESTERDAYSCAKE J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Snyda Jazz BUCKHORN INN, NativeSun J CHAPS, Just Plain Darin with Tyler Coulston CHECKERBOARD BAR, Amy Bleu, Tyler Cornett, Ron Greene COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Sammy Eubanks, Bill Bozly COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS, Eric Neuhausser COLDWATER CREEK WINE BAR, Touch of Jazz THE COUNTRY CLUB, County Line

CURLEY’S, Dragonfly DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Working Spliffs EAGLE’S LODGE (489-3030), Texas Twister FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Bruiser THE FLAME, DJ Wesone GARLAND PUB AND GRILL (326-7777), Garrett Bartley Band GRANDE RONDE CELLARS, Brent Edstrom Trio, Eugene Jablonsky J THE HOP!, Ashylus, Reason for Existence, Deviance, Outlier, Drag Like Pull IRON HORSE BAR, The Jam Band JOHN’S ALLEY, Tracorum JONES RADIATOR, Polecat J KNITTING FACTORY, 112 THE LARIAT (466-9918), Donnie Emerson & Nancy Sophia LIBRARY LOUNGE (747-3371), Big Hair Revolution MAX AT MIRABEAU, Salty Dog MICHAEL’S O.P. (447-3355), The Cronkites

 MOOTSY’S, Silver Treason, Hopeless Jack & The Handsome Devil (See story on facing page), The Mayfields NYNE, The Divine Jewels  THE PHAT HOUSE, Bodhi Drip  REVEL 77, Jo & Arden RICK SINGER PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO (838-3333), David Grier ROADHOUSE COUNTRY ROCK BAR, Last Chance Band THE ROCK BAR AND LOUNGE (4433796), DJ Sonny  THE SHOP, Duran-Stern Duo WEBSTER’S RANCH HOUSE SALOON (474-9040), Kicho ZOLA, The Rub

GET LISTED!

Get your event listed in the paper and online by emailing getlisted@inlander. com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

Sunday, 02/9

CURLEY’S, Dragonfly DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church  THE HOP!, Chelsea Grin, Skies Burn Black, Verbera, A Cryptic Ending, The Horror Within MOOSE LOUNGE (208-664-7901), Michael’s Music Technology Circus REPUBLIC BREWING CO., Yogoman Burning Band ZOLA, Buckthorne Brothers

Monday, 02/10

BOWL’Z BITEZ AND SPIRITZ (321-7480), Open mic  CALYPSOS (208-665-0591), Open Mic THE HOP!, Let’s All go to the Hop! feat. local rap and hip hop artists  JOHN’S ALLEY, Dead Winter Carpenters (See story on facing page)  RICO’S, Open mic ZOLA, Nate Ostrander Trio

Tuesday, 02/11

315 MARTINIS AND TAPAS, The Rub  THE BARTLETT, Open Mic BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn  CALYPSOS (208-665-0591), Matt Baird FEDORA PUB, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills  THE HOP!, Elektro Grave  JOHN’S ALLEY, Dead Winter Carpenters (See story on facing page) LION’S LAIR (456-5678), DJs Nobe and MJ  LUXE COFFEEHOUSE, Open Mic Song Project  MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP, Greg Hodapp  THE PHAT HOUSE, Jazz Night with T1M2  RED ROOSTER COFFEE CO. (3217935), Open mic THE ROCK BAR AND LOUNGE (4433796), Open mic with Frank Clark SPLASH, Bill Bozly THE VAULT SOCIAL CLUB, DJ Q ZOLA, Dan Conrad and the Urban Achievers

Wednesday, 02/12 BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn  CHAPS, Land of Voices with Dirk Swartz THE DISTRICT BAR (244-3279), Likes Girls  FERRANTE’S MARKETPLACE CAFE (443-6304), Bratislava FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Kicho IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY (208-2902280), Highway 200 JONES RADIATOR, Sally Bop Jazz  KNITTING FACTORY, Rehab, Angels Cut, Ron Greene LA ROSA CLUB, Jazz Jam with the Bob Beadling Group  LUXE COFFEEHOUSE, Dario Re  MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR, Ken Davis  THE PHAT HOUSE, Be Open Mic with Mike Bethely SOULFUL SOUPS AND SPIRITS, Open mic THE VAULT SOCIAL CLUB, DJs Freaky Fred and MC Squared ZOLA, The Bucket List

Coming Up ...

THE HOP!, Bloodoath, Feb. 13 JONES RADIATOR, The Epilogues, Night Riots, Lavoy, Feb. 13 FORZA COFFEE CO., The Causeway, Feb. 13 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS, Old Time Music Session, Feb. 13. MOOTSY’S, Dead Winter Carpenters, Folkinception, Feb. 13, 9 pm. THE VAULT SOCIAL CLUB, E-VO, BrainFunk and more, Feb. 13

JOHN’S ALLEY, The Scott Pemberton Band, Feb. 13 JONES RADIATOR, New Mud, Feb. 14 KNITTING FACTORY, Battle of the Bands feat. Beyond Moral, Somatic, Framework, 5 Times Over, Rylei Franks, Beyond Today, Amnija, Move the Earth, The Finns, The Backups, Switchin’ to Whiskey, Upbeat for Sundown, Aleisha & Greg, Burning Clean, Feb. 14 CHATEAU RIVE, Suzy Bogguss, Feb. 14 CHECKERBOARD BAR, Leyden Falls, Wicked Obsession, Feb. 14 THE HOP!, Friends with Benefits III! feat. DJs Hapi, Lisciare, Atum, Digi, Decibelkaos, Joey Treasure, Desert Drive, Feb. 14 .THE HOP!, This or the Apocalypse, Sirens and Sailors, Sworn In, Shai Hulud, Feb. 15 JONES RADIATOR, Sea Giant, Ditto, Black Beacon, Feb. 15 COLDWATER CREEK WINE BAR, Cedar & Boyer, Feb. 15 KNITTING FACTORY, The Lion Oh My, Lavoy, The Rustics, Death by Pirates, Daethstar, Feb. 15 NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, Don McLean, Feb. 15 THE BARTLETT, Mon Cheri, Bristol, Feb. 15, CHECKERBOARD BAR, Mautam, Vultra, Lions Beside Us, Mudhelmet, Feb. 15 BABY BAR, Brothers Ov Midnite, bitwvlf, Feb. 15 THE HOP!, Abigail Williams. Erimha, Feb. 16

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Ages 12 & under receive a Free Club from Henry-Griffitts (While Supplies last)

SpokaneGolfShow.com

MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208667-9660 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. BEVERLY’S • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BOLO’S • 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BUCER’S • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 CARR’S CORNER • 230 S. Washington St. • 474-1731 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208664-9463 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2467 COLDWATER CREEK WINE BAR • 311 N. 1st Ave., Sandpoint • 208-263-6971 THE COUNTRY CLUB • 216 E. Coeur d’Alene Ave. • 208-676-2582 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIRST STREET BAR • 122 E. First St., Deer Park • 276-2320 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME • 2401 E. Sprague Ave. • 534-9121 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GIBLIANO BROS. • 718 W. Riverside • 315-8765 THE GRAIL • 4720 E. Seltice Way, CdA • 208665-5882 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 THE HOP! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRV’S BAR • 415 W. Sprague Ave. • 624-4450 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208883-7662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KELLY’S IRISH PUB • 726 N. Fourth St., CdA • 208-667-1717 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LATAH BISTRO • 4241 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 838-8338 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 LUXE COFFEEHOUSE • 1017 W. First Ave. • 642-5514 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR • 2718 E. 57th • 863-9313 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP • 121 E. Fifth St. • 208882-8537 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 PACIFIC AVENUE PIZZA • 2001 W. Pacific Ave. • 624-0236 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 220 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PHAT HOUSE • 417 S. Browne • 443-4103 PJ’S BAR & GRILL • 1717 N. Monroe St. • 328-2153 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 RICO’S PUB • 200 E. Main, Pullman • 332-6566 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SPLASH • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 STUDIO K• 2810 E. 29th Ave. • 534-9317 THE SWAMP • 1904 W. Fifth Ave. • 458-2337 THE VAULT • 120 N. Wall St. • 863-9597 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 THE WAVE • 525 W. First Ave. • 747-2023 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 51

VISUAL ARTS RECYCLED IMAGES

Each year for the Visiting Artist Lecture Series, Spokane Falls Community College, Eastern Washington University, and the Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture bring several internationally renowned artists to share their work and artist perspectives with the Spokane community. This year’s artists are linked by the motif “Recasting Tradition.” New York-based artist Sabrina Gschwandtner is the second speaker in the lineup. Her work — quilts sewn together from strips of abandoned 16mm films — integrates the major themes of the footage and celebrates the women who starred in the films. Gschwandtner specializes in contemporary craft culture, as she uses classic patterns to compliment her unusual materials, and links both gender roles and feminism in each quilt she designs. — EMERA L. RILEY Visiting Artist Lecture Series: Sabrina Gschwandtner • Wed, Feb. 12, at noon; at EWU; also at 6:30 pm; The MAC • Thu, Feb. 13, at 11:30 am; SFCC, Bldg. 24 • Free • northwestmuseum.org • 456-3931

52 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

THEATER THE OTHER V-DAY

WORDS MEN RIDING TINY BIKES

The Vagina Monologues • Thu, Feb. 6-Sat, Feb. 8, at 7 pm • $12-$18 • Kenworthy Performing Arts Centre • 508 S. Main St., Moscow • kenworthy.org • 208-882-4127

PNBA Awards Night feat. Jess Walter • Thu, Feb. 13, at 7 pm • Free • Auntie’s Bookstore • 402 W. Main • 838-0206

For the 12th year, the University of Idaho Women’s Center is staging a production of The Vagina Monologues, an annual V-Day event. V-Day, not Valentine’s Day, is a global campaign to bring awareness to and ultimately stop violence against women. Written by feminist playwright Eve Ensler, the play portrays a woman’s experience from a place of pain, power and everything in between. Each year, Ensler continues to write a spotlight monologue to highlight a visionary initiative to combat gender-based violence. — CLARKE HUMPHREY

Anchoring Jess Walter’s 2013 book of short stories We Live in Water is “Statistical Abstract for My Home of Spokane, Washington,” his numbered essay about our fair city, from the median family income to the number of adult men per capita riding children’s BMX bikes on any given day. But Spokane has changed in the five years since he wrote it, so ahead of the ceremony for winning the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association Book Award, he wrote an addendum that picks up where he left off: the bike lanes, the beards, the “nine new organic locavore restaurants that open here every day… ” — LISA WAANANEN

GET LISTED!

Email getlisted@inlander.com to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

GRACE

KELLY

COMMUNITY PET HEROES

No pet owner wants to imagine the unthinkable — an emergency that puts a beloved four-legged friend on the operating table, fighting for life. It’s an unfortunate reality, but let’s put a positive spin on this. After a successful trial run last year, the Lincoln Heights Vet Clinic is once again hosting the Dog People Blood Drive this weekend. Dog owners are invited to bring their happy, healthy pups to screen for eligibility for becoming emergency blood donors, with the potential to save a fellow canine’s life. Dogs must be between 1 and 6 years old and weigh more than 60 lbs. to qualify. Accepted dogs then have several options to become active donors to the Spokane Pet Emergency Clinic’s blood bank. Inland Northwest Blood Center will also be on site so pet parents can donate, too. — CHEY SCOTT

KEN

PEP PE PLOWSKI

Presented by Avista

L I O N E L H A M P TO N J A Z Z F E S T I VA L

Presented by Pepsi

February 19 - 22, 2014

Tickets on Sale Now! www.uidaho.edu/ticketoffice

208-885-7212 or 1-88-88UIDAHO

Other Artists include: Eddie Palmieri, Yellowjackets, Sheila Jordan, René Marie and more…

www.uidaho.edu/jazzfest

(208) 885-5900

2nd Annual Dog People Blood Drive • Sat, Feb. 8, from 1-5 pm • Lincoln Heights Veterinary Clinic • 2829 E. 27th • lhvetclinic.com • 535-3551

The New

INLANDER MOBILE When is our movie playing? Who has karaoke tonight?

MUSIC HE’S STILL BREATHING

Don’t call Duncan Sheik a one-hit wonder, even if the only song of his you can readily name is the 1996 smash single “Barely Breathing.” You’re humming that tune now, aren’t you? It gets in your head, right? While he’s not cranking out pop singles these days, Sheik has hardly been sitting on his hands. For the past decade, he’s been composing the scores to massively successful Broadway musicals, including Spring Awakening. On his current tour, he’s with a band and playing from both his solo albums and his musicals; maybe he’ll give us a preview song from the soon-to-arrive American Psycho musical. — MIKE BOOKEY Duncan Sheik • Wed, Feb. 12, at 8 pm • $25-$28 • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bingcrosbytheater.com

What’s happening this weekend? Where is the nearest Chinese restaurant?

The answers to life’s great questions. m.inlander.com

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 53

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT 1001 West Sprague Ave. • 509-624-1200 Classics

TRIUMPH AND DELIGHT

Saturday, February 8 - 8pm Sunday, February 9 - 3pm Schumann - Symphony No. 2 Brahms - Haydn Variations Sponsored by Maxine Kopczynski

Featuring Orchestra Section Principal Soloists

A SYMPHONIC NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

WITH LIVE MUSIC BY THE SPOKANE SYMPHONY

Saturday, February 15 8pm sponsored by WINE CELLARS

profound”

d “Playful an

Classics

THE POWER OF NATURE Saturday, February 22 - 8pm Sunday, February 23 - 3pm Ravel - Piano Concerto in G major Sibelius - Symphony No. 1 k

t Jeremy Den

Guest Pianis

A musical by Alain Boubil & Claude-Michel Based on a novel by Victor Hugo Music by Claude-Michel Schönberg Lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer

Sponsored by Mary Jewett Gaiser Endowment Fund

Schönberg

sponsored by River Park Square Patricia Ewers SCAFCO Total Wine Joan Degerstrom

The Symphony & Civic Theatre

Saturday, March 1 - 7:30pm Sunday, March 2 - 2pm

................. SPOKANESYMPHONY.ORG MARTINWOLDSONTHEATER.COM ................. 54 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

CINN-A-GRAM FUNDRAISER Meals on Wheels Spokane is now accepting orders for its annual Valentine’s fundraiser, delivered to recipients on Feb. 14. Orders must be placed by Feb. 7. Volunteers are needed on Thurs, Feb. 13 to help package cinn-a-grams, and to make deliveries on Feb. 14. $25. Meals on Wheels, 1222 W. Second. mowspokane.org (232-0864) SPOKANE TRIBAL COLLEGE DINNER & AUCTION Formal dinner and art auction in support of the Spokane Tribal College, featuring dancers, visual artists, live music and more. (Event rescheduled from a previous date.) Feb. 9, 5 pm. $30/ person, $50/couple. Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln (218-7278) GIRL SCOUT COOKIE SALES Local Girl Scouts are accepting pre-orders for cookies (Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, Trefoils, Do-Si-Dos and Savannah Smiles) from Feb. 7-March 20. Connect with a local Girl Scout by calling, emailing cookies@gsewni.org or at gscookiebiz. com. $4/box (Wash.), $4.25/box (Idaho). gsewni.org (800-827-9478) PUPPY LOVE A wine-tasting fundraiser benefiting the Spokane Humane Society, featuring silent auctions, food and more. Feb. 12, 6-10 pm. $10-$15. Nectar Tasting Room, 120 N. Stevens St. tinyurl.com/kk56v9h (869-1572) HEARTS FOR HOMES DINNER & AUCTION 5th annual fundraiser, proceeds go to new home construction and the “A Brush with Kindness” home repair program. Feb. 15, 5 pm. $45/ person, $360/table. Best Western Coeur d’Alene, 506 W. Appleway Ave. northidahohabitat.org (208-762-4663)

COMEDY

STAND-UP COMEDY Local comedians. See weekly schedule online. Thurs., 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. uncledscomedy.com (483-7300) BOONE STREET HOOLIGANS Gonzaga’s sketch comedy show returns, introducing “Sweet Lou & The Grind.” Feb. 7 at 8 pm, Feb. 8 at 2 pm. Donations benefit Cup of Cool Water. Gonzaga University Magnuson Theatre, 502 E. Boone. facebook.com/ boonestreethooligans (313-5718) SHORT STACKS The BDT Players & Friends try out new material, rework ideas, and share comedic talents in stand-up, sketch, music, film and more. First Fridays of the month at 10 pm. $5. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions. Saturdays at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. (747-7045) LIVE COMEDY Live stand-up comedy shows. Sundays at 9 pm. Goodtymes, 9214 E. Mission Ave. (928-1070) BADA BING! COMEDY SERIES Live comedy show featuring longtime comedy vets Susan Rice and Susan Jones, with up-and-coming Spokane comedian April Martinich. Feb. 15, 8 pm. $15. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. (227-7638)

COMMUNITY

OPEN DANCE NIGHT Community dance night, open to singles, couples and families, offering a variety of

dances including square, round and line dancing. Feb. 6, 7-9 pm. Western Dance Center, 1901 N. Sullivan Rd. squaredancespokane.org (979-2607) CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATION Authentic Chinese food, live entertainment by the Spokane Chinese Dancing Association and presentation on Chinese history and culture by Sam Song. Feb. 7, 6-8 pm. $15. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. sssac.org (535-0803) FAMILY DANCE & POTLUCK Caller Susan Dankovich leads circle, line, contra and folk dancing, to live music. Potluck dinner at 6:30 pm, dancing at 7 pm. Feb. 7. Free. St. John’s Cathedral, 127 E. 12th Ave. (533-9955) LINK SPOKANE PUBLIC WORKSHOP Public workshop on integrating various city departments to handle street and public infrastructure improvements after the 10-year street bond expires at the end of 2014. Feb. 7, 11:30 am-6:30 pm. River Park Square, 808 W. Main. spokaneplanning.org (625-6300) DOG PEOPLE BLOOD DRIVE The second annual event screens dogs to become blood donors for the Pet Emergency Clinic Blood Bank. People can also donate blood to the Inland Northwest Blood Center. Dogs must be over 60 lbs, between 1-6 years of age and in good health. Feb. 8, 1-5 pm. Lincoln Heights Veterinary Clinic, 2829 E. 27th Ave. (535-3551) MEET THE CAMPBELLS Living history event set in 1910, featuring actors performing as Mrs. Campbell and her staff. Activities in the house include games, hands-on art, and dressing up in Victorian clothing. Saturdays from 12-4 pm. $5/adults, $4/seniors, $3/ students. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. northwestmuseum.com (456-3931) “WE THE PEOPLE” PETITION RALLY Statewide petition (I-1329) campaign rally at the federal courthouse (noon) followed by lunch and volunteer training (1-3 pm) at the Downtown Library, first floor. Feb. 8, 12-1 pm. Free. Thomas S. Foley U.S. Courthouse, 920 W. Riverside Ave. s-m-a-c.org (844-1776) FERRIS BUILDING DEDICATION The newly constructed Ferris Performing Arts Facility, Paul G. Brueggemeier Hall, opens to the public with a concert and tours of the new facility. Feb. 11, 7 pm. Free. Ferris HS, 3020 E. 37th Ave. ferrishs.org (354-6034) FREE TAX PREP SITES Qualified professionals provide free assistance to residents earning less than $51,567 in 2013. Sites remain open until April 15. See site locations and schedules at unitedwayspokane.org (358-3526) POWER TO THE PEOPLE “Campaigns that Create Change,” an activist in residence workshop on planning effective social justice campaigns. Feb. 13, 3:30 pm. Free. EWU Monroe Hall, 526 Fifth St, Cheney. (359-2898) ONE BILLION RISING The annual community dance flash mob is a call to end violence toward women and girls in Spokane and around the world, hosted by Lutheran Community Services and the YWCA. Feb. 14, 3 pm. Free. River Park Square, 808 W. Main. onebillionrising.org (343-5057) SANDPOINT WINTER CARNIVAL The 40th annual festival hosts events around Sandpoint and at Schweitzer Resort, including skijoring, parade of lights, fireworks, K-9 keg pull and more. Feb. 14-23, see full event

schedule online. Sandpoint, Idaho. sandpointwintercarnival.com SCHOOL’S OUT DAY CAMP Day camps with activities such as swimming, rock climbing, cooking, crafts, games and more. Lunch and snack provided. Ages 6-13. Offered Feb. 14 and 17, and March 31-April 4, starting at 9 am each day. $45 per day (discount available for Kroc members). Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. kroccda.org (208-667-1865) VALENTINE’S DAY LUNCHEON Luncheon hosted by Harvard Park senior living with a menu of spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and dessert, as well as live music by The Fossils Five. Feb. 14, 11:30 am. $15/adv. $18/door. Corbin Senior Center, 827 W. Cleveland Ave. (327-1584)

FILM

ONE BILLION RISING Screening of the documentary short film, followed by a dance lesson for those participating in the One Billion Rising Flash Mob on Feb. 14th, 3 pm. Feb. 6, 3:30 pm. Free. Downtown Library, 906 W. Main. onebillionrising.org (343-5057) DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Screening of the three-time Oscar-nominated film. Feb. 7-13, show times vary. $8. Magic Lantern, 25 W. Main. magiclanternspokane.com (209-2383) OSCAR NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS See all of the 2014 nominees, appropriate for ages 6+. Feb. 7-13, show times vary. $8. Magic Lantern Theatre, 25 W. Main. (209-2383) LEONARD A. OAKLAND FILM FEST The 6th annual festival features screenings of an American independent, a documentary, and an international film. Late-night offerings feature three movies filmed locally, in honor of the 100th anniversary of Whitworth’s move to Spokane. Screenings held Feb. 8, 15 and 22 at 7 pm. Free. Whitworth, 300 W. Hawthorne Rd. whitworth.edu/ oaklandfestival. (777-4605) BROADWAY’S ROMEO AND JULIET Screening of a recorded (Nov. 2013) Broadway production starring Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad. Feb. 13 at 7:30 pm, Feb. 16 at 2 pm. Regal Cinemas Riverstone Stadium 14, 2416 Old Mill Loop., CdA. (800-326-3264) A FIERCE GREEN FIRE Screening of the award-winning documentary on the U.S. environmental movement, hosted by the Idaho Conservation League. Feb. 13, 5:30 pm. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front Ave. cdalibrary.org (208-265-9565) SUDS & CINEMA: MEAN GIRLS Screening of the teen girl cult classic film with beer from Post Falls brewery Selkirk Abbey. Feb. 13, doors open at 7 pm, film at 8 pm. $4. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404) HARVEY’S PLACE Premiere screening of the locally-produced feature length comedy by Ted Parvin, and starring local actors. Feb. 15, 7 pm. $10-$15. Panida Theater, 300 N. First, Sandpoint. panida.org (208-263-9191)

FOOD & DRINK

VALUE WINES Tasting class led by wine steward Matt Dolan featuring 10 wines under $10/bottle. Feb. 7, 7 pm. $20, reservations requested. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd. (343-2253)

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 55

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess CoWer rAnGers

I read your recent columns about guys who are too shy to ask women out. You seem to think it’s okay for women to make quick judgments about a shy man’s worth because his shyness is their first impression. Well, a man shouldn’t have to be loud, obnoxious, and “in your face.” These women, with their snap judgments, don’t consider that there might be something really good under the surface of a shy guy and could miss out AMY ALKON on a nice relationship. For instance, when I was younger and really shy, I had a huge crush on a girl but figured she was way out of my league. One day, we crossed paths unexpectedly and talked for a few minutes. I decided right then that I had to know “yes” or “no” and get it behind me. I mustered everything I had and asked her out as confidently as I could. She said yes, and we dated for over two years. Had she dismissed me just because I was shy, we both would have missed out. —Formerly Shy Guy A guy doesn’t have to be loud, obnoxious, and “in your face” to succeed with women, but he can’t be “in a fetal position behind furniture.” Typically, you get what you want in life by asking for it. I don’t think this is “okay” or not okay; it’s just how life works. When a guy sees a woman he wants, that’s his moment to hit on her, meaning do his best to chat her up and then follow through and ask her out. He might wish he could just sit there silently while she looks for “something really good under the surface” — getting his credit report and references from his neighbors, his grandmother, and his third-grade teacher, Mrs. DeMattia — but that’s not going to happen. And think about it; would you recommend that getting a job should work in the same way? No need to send in a resume or cover letter or sell anybody on your merits in an interview. You would just hide under your bed, and the employers would sense what a great person you are and send out a search party. Hilariously, you follow up your complaint about how life “should” work for shy guys with a great example of how it can work — once they stop waiting for a woman to club them like a baby seal and drag them home. As you showed, a guy doesn’t have to be fearless to ask a woman out. He just needs to decide not to give in to his fears in the moment and then get to work fixing what’s broken in himself. (In a shy guy, this is self-esteem that’s really “what other people think of me”-esteem and the paralyzing fear of rejection that ensues.) The cool thing is, a guy doesn’t have to become some Mr. Smooth to get the girl. He can even be kind of awkward. People admire courage, even when it maybe stammers a little. Of course, a guy won’t always get the girl just because he tries, but trying and striking out will only leave him with a temporary boo-boo on his ego instead of the internal injuries he’d get from tucking his tail between his legs so fast that he bruises his spleen.

CAllused In WonderlAnd

I live in a warm climate, and the girl I’m dating walks around barefoot everywhere and her soles are really black and callused. I’ve jokingly dropped hints like “Jeez, it looks like you just stamped out a fire!” but she just laughs. She’s a really great girl, but when I glance at her feet, my attraction takes a serious nosedive. —Defeeted On the bright side, if you ever lose her in a mall, finding her should just be a matter of following the trail of black paw prints. Sympathetic friends will offer helpful suggestions, like that you should get her a pedicure (which will solve absolutely nothing) or do something “sexy” like washing her feet for her before bedtime — an activity that’s got to be about as libido-boosting as power-washing bird poop off your roof. You’re likelier to get what you want (periodic daily footbaths? feet encased in Saran wrap?) if you make a sweet, direct request instead of just dashing off jokes about it. But while asking might sway a partner to curb an icky habit like absentminded nose-picking, chances are your girlfriend isn’t randomly going barefoot; she’s probably into it. Ultimately, you’ll probably need to figure out where you (and your libido) draw the line. Sure, it’s a shame to break up over this, but the reality is, one man’s “Okay, whatever” is another’s “Yick. Lemme outta here.” If you’re thinking dirty thoughts in bed, it shouldn’t mean fantasizing that your girlfriend’s ankles would come with mudflaps. n ©2014, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

56 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

EVENTS | CALENDAR VINO! WINE TASTING Friday’s tasting features selections from the Wine of the Month club, from 3-6:30 pm, and Saturday features “romantic wines for your sweetheart,” from 2-4:30 pm. $10/tasting. Vino! A Wine Shop, 222 S. Washington. vinowine.com (838-1229) NUCLEAR #SPICEAWAR Spicy food competition benefiting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, featuring food from local restaurants, an auction and more. Feb. 8, 2 pm. Saranac Public House, 21 W. Main. spocool.com SECRETS OF THE 315 Cooking class with Chef Brandon Mitchell on making some of the restaurant’s tapas, sauces and seasonings. Feb. 9, 3-5 pm. $45. 315 Martinis & Tapas, 315 Wallace Ave., CdA. (208-667-9660) BUTTERFLY, BRUNOISE & CHIFFONADE Chef Peter Tobin leads a class on professional knife skills to cut meat, vegetables and herbs. Feb. 11, 6-8 pm. $49. Inland Northwest Culinary Academy (INCA), 1810 N. Greene St. incaafterdark. scc.spokane.edu (533-8141) CHOCOLATE TASTING CLASS Learn how chocolate is grown, how it becomes chocolate we consume, terminology and tasting techniques. Feb. 11, 7 pm. $15, reservations requested. Chocolate Apothecary, 621 W. Mallon. (324-2424) CHOCOLATE EXTRAVAGANZA Chocolate and dessert tasting event, benefiting the Lake Pend Oreille Waterkeeper, and featuring food and beverages from local restaurants and businesses. Feb. 13, 6-8 pm. $10. Idaho Pour Authority, 203 Cedar, Sandpoint. lakependoreillewater.keeper.org (208-597-7188) VALENTINE’S DINNER Studio 107 and Scratch Restaurant host a 5-course dinner paired with wines from Washington’s Rotie Cellars. Feb. 13, 6:30 pm. $75, reservations required. Studio 107, 120 N. Fourth. cdajewelry.com (208-644-1201) CHOCOLATE & WINE NIGHT Sample eight red wines paired with chocolate from the Rocket’s gourmet chocolate inventory. Class offered both on Fri, Feb. 14 and Sun, Feb. 16 at 7 pm. $20, reservations requested. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) INTERLUDE VALENTINE’S DINNER The gallery and bistro hosts its annual Valentine’s dinner, with live music by John Elwood, art by Carrie Vielle and more. Feb. 14, 6-8 pm. $35/person, reservations required. Bank Left Gallery, 100 S. Bridge St., Palouse, Wash. bankleftgallery.com (878-8425) LATAH BISTRO VALENTINE’S DINNER A special four-course meal is offered in addition to the restaurant’s regular menu. Reservations recommended. Feb. 14-17. Latah Bistro, 4241 S. CheneySpokane Rd. latahbistro.com (838-8338) VALENTINE RESTAURANT NIGHT The historic estate hosts candlelit, 5-course dinners. Pre- (3-5 pm) and post-dinner (9-11 pm) happy hours offered. Dinner reservations required, happy hour is open seating but reservations are accepted. Dinner served from 5-9 pm on Feb. 14 and 15. Commellini Estate, 14715 N. Dartford Dr. commelliniestate. com (466-0667) VALENTINE’S CHOCOLATE TASTING Learn how chocolate is grown, harvested and processed, about fair trade standards and more. Feb. 14, 6 pm. $15. Chocolate Apothecary, 621 W. Mallon Ave. (324-2424) VALENTINE’S DINNER Dinner menu includes soup/salad, pan-seared sea scallops, stuffed lobster tail or steak,

truffle sample. Feb. 14. $25/person. Sweetgrass Cafe, 27068 S. Highway 95. cdacasino.com (800-523-2464) VALENTINE’S DINNER FOR TWO Dinner menu includes 10 oz. sirloin, stuffed lobster, salad, soup, side and dessert, and a bottle of private label wine. $80, reservations recommended. Chinook Steak, Pasta and Spirits, 37914 S. Highway 95. cdacasino.com (800-523-2464) VALENTINE’S WINE DINNER The Connoisseur’s Club hosts a 5-course dinner paired with wines from Walla Walla’s Three Rivers Winery. Feb. 14, 6-10 pm. $55/person. Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. (327-8000)

MUSIC

BLUESTREAK Concert by the bluegrass band, featuring members Doug Bond, Bob Asbury and Dave Hackwith. Feb. 7, 7:30 pm. $10-$15. The JACC, 405 N. William St., Post Falls. thejacklincenter. org ((208) 457-8950) JAZZ UNDER THE STARS Fundraising event including a jazz concert, dessert and silent auction to benefit the CVHS Band programs, such as marching in the 2013 Inaugural Parade in D.C. Feb. 7, 6:30 pm. $7-$10. Central Valley High School, 821 S. Sullivan Rd. (999-9880) PIRATES OF PENZANCE Dinner concert hosted by Lake City Playhouse, featuring a three-course meal and beverages, and live and silent auctions. Feb. 8, doors open at 6:30, dinner served at 7 pm. $40. Faith Ministries Church, 5073 E. 16th Ave., CdA. lakecityplayhouse.org (208-667-1323) SOLO PIANO CONCERT Concert by soloist Mark Salman, Seattle Conservatory of Music academic director. Feb. 8, 7 pm. Free. Steinway Piano Gallery, 13418 E. Nora Ave. steinwayspokane.com (327-4266) SPOKANE SYMPHONY Classics Series 6: Triumph & Delight, featuring guest conductor Pavel Baleff, from Bulgaria, and pieces by Brahms, Schoenberg and Schumann. Sat, Feb. 8 at 8 pm and Sun, Feb. 9 at 3 pm. $15-$54. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) FERENC CSESZKO & ROGER MCVEY From the University of Idaho, violinist Ferenc Cseszko and pianist Roger McVey perform works by Mozart, Schumann, Drigo, Monti, Dvorak and more. In the University Chapel, College Hall third floor. Feb. 9, 4 pm. Free. Gonzaga, 502 E. Boone. (313-6733) PALOUSE CHORAL SOCIETY “Ode to Music” concert featuring pieces by Bernstein, Handel, Whitacre, Mozart and more. Feb. 9, 4 pm. U. of Idaho Haddock Performance Hall, Moscow. palousechoralsociety.org (432-4796) AN EVENING WITH DUNCAN SHEIK Concert featuring the Grammy Award and Tony Award-winning singersongwriter and composer. Feb. 12, 8 pm. $25-$28. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. (227-7404) MY FUNNY VALENTINE CABARET Concert fundraiser benefiting the Jacklin Theater Troupe. Feb. 13, 7:30 pm. $10$18. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St. (208-457-8950) SCOTT KIRBY Performance by the composer, pianist, and visual artist who specializes in ragtime and related American styles. Tickets include wine/ chocolate and are available only at Bonners Books. Advance purchase suggested. Feb. 13, 7 pm. $20. The Pearl

Theater, 7160 Ash St., Bonners Ferry. thepearltheater.org (208-610-2846) MARCHFOURTH MARCHING BAND Performance by the eclectic Portlandbased musical group. Feb. 14, 8 pm. $25. Panida Theater, 300 N. First, Sandpoint (208-263-9191) VALENTINE’S DESSERT BALL Fundraiser concert hosted by the Northwest Christian School Jazz Band featuring music by the local big band group Tuxedo Junction. Feb. 14, 7 pm. $30/person, $50/couple. Service Station, 9315 N. Nevada. nwcs.org (951-2870)

SPORTS

LILAC CITY FIGURE SKATING CLUB “It’s Great 2 Skate” event with free skating lessons and skate rentals offered. Pre-registration online required. Feb. 8, 12:30-2:45 pm. Free. Eagles Ice-A-Rena, 6321 N. Addison. lcfsc.org (489-9295) LANGLAUF CROSS COUNTRY RACE The 36th annual 10K cross-country ski race. Feb. 9, 8:30 am. $25-$35. Mt. Spokane State Park. spokanelanglauf. org (922-6080) SPOKANE CHIEFS Hockey game vs. the Kelowna Rockets. Feb. 12, 7:05 pm. $10-$20. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. (279-7000) KING OF THE CAGE Mixed martial arts event. Feb. 13, 7 pm. $20-$50. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S Hwy 95. cdacasino.com (800-523-2467) MT. SPOKANE NORDIC CUP This Nordic ski race is a Junior National Qualifier with simultaneous classic and skate ski racese open to the public. Feb. 15-16 at 9 am. $25/one day; $45/both days. Mt. Spokane State Park, 26107 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. spokanenordic. org (455-8878)

THEATER

BAREFOOT IN THE PARK Performance of the classic romantic comedy by Neil Simon. Feb. 6-15, Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, also Sat matinee at 1:30 pm. Regional Theatre of the Palouse, 122 N Grand Ave, Pullman. rtoptheatre.org (334-0750) CRAZY FOR YOU Tap-dancing musical comedy. Through Feb. 9, Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $22-$30. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. (325-2507) GOOD PEOPLE Tony-nominated drama Jan. 23-Feb. 8, Wed-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm, also Sat. matinee on Feb. 8 at 2 pm. $12-$28. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard. (455-7529) GRUESOME PLAYGROUND INJURIES A play by Rajiv Joseph about friendship and injury, physical and emotional. Through Feb. 9, Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $8-$10. University of Idaho Hartung Theater, 709 Deakin Ave., Moscow. (208-885-7212) THE TEMPEST Performance of the Shakespeare romantic comedy. Through Feb. 23, Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $22. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard. (325-2507) THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES 12th annual performance by the University of Idaho Women’s Center, benefiting Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse. Feb. 6-8 at 7:30 pm. $12-$18. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main, Moscow. kenworthy.org (208-885-2777) HAPPILY EVER AFTER Musical combining characters and story lines of several

classic fairytales. Through Feb. 16, Fri at 7 pm, Sat at 1 pm and 4 pm, Sun at 1 pm. $12. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia. (328-4886) PERFECT WEDDING Romantic comedy performed by StageWest Community Theater. Through Feb. 9, Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $10-$12. Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 639 Elm St., Cheney. (235-2441) PRELUDE TO A KISS Romantic comedy, directed by Susan Hardie. Feb. 7-23, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $13-$15. Ignite Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway Ave. ignitetheatre. org (795-0004) THE FOLLIES “Cue the Dancers,” a performance piece written by Gail Cory-Betz. Feb. 8-23, Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $10-$12. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 240 N. Union Ave, Newport. pendoreilleplayers.org (447-9900) INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE OF A SLAVE GIRL Performance by the American Place Theatre’s based on Harriet Jacobs’ novel by the same name. Feb. 8, 7:30 pm. $10-$18. Panida Theater, 300 N. First. artsinsandpoint.org (208-263-9191) TREASURE ISLAND Local children in grades K-12 perform a musical adaptation of the novel, directed by the Missoula Children’s Theatre. Sat, Feb. 8 at 3 pm and 7 pm. $4-$6. Moscow HS, 402 E. Fifth. festivaldance. org (208-883-3267) SACAGAWEA’S STORY A one-woman show by Sara Edlin-Marlowe, based on the life and journal accounts of the famous Native American woman. Feb. 12, 6 pm. Free. Spokane Valley Library, 12004 E. Main. (893-8400) THEATER AUDITION MASTER CLASS CdA Summer Theatre Artistic Director Jadd Davis leads a course in putting together a successful audition. Ages 15+. Feb. 12, 6-9 pm. $15, pre-registration required. cdasummertheatre.com (208660-2958)

VISUAL ARTS

HEART OF THE PALOUSE Exhibition featuring watercolors and oil paintings by Andy Sewell. Runs through March 30, artist reception Feb. 13 from 6-9 pm. Gallery open Thurs-Sun. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way, Uniontown. artisanbarn.org (229-3414) HEARTS FOR HUNGER Public participation fundraiser art show to fight hunger in the local community. Finale showcase on Feb. 21, 4-7 pm. Free. Pacific Flyway Gallery, 409 S. Dishman Mica Rd. pacificflywaygallery. blogspot.com (747-0812) PRICHARD GALLERY INVITATIONAL ART AUCTION Work by 65+ local and regional artists is for sale in a live art auction. Feb. 8, at 7 pm. $15 admission. Prichard Art Gallery, 414 S. Main, Moscow. (208-885-3586) ARTIST SABRINA GSCHWANDTNER Presentation by the internationally recognized NYC-based artist for the Visiting Artist Lecture series. Feb. 12 at noon, at EWU, and at 6:30 pm at the MAC. Feb. 13 at 11:30 am at SFCC. Free. northwestmuseum.org (456-3931) MONUMENT BY GARRIC SIMONSEN Installation exhibition by the SFCC art instructor. Feb. 11-March 13, closing reception and walk-through March 13 at 11:30 am. Free. SFCC, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. (533-3746)

WORDS

JESUITS AND THE ARTS SERIES Gonzaga’s arts series continues, with a focus on poetry and literature, featuring the work of Jesuit priest Gerard Manley Hopkins. Events scheduled from Feb. 5-7, times vary. Free and open to the public. Gonzaga, 502 E. Boone Ave. (313-6132) POETRY OUT LOUD FINALS Regional finals of the national recitation contest, two students will advance to the state finals in March. Feb. 6, 7 pm. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague poetryoutloud.org (227-7404) 3 MINUTE MIC Auntie’s monthly poetry open mic series, featuring Spokane Poet Laureate Thom Caraway, with guest host Isaac Grambo of Spokane Poetry Slam. Feb. 7, 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main. (838-0206) KERRY SCHAFER The author signs copies of her book “Wakeword.” Feb. 9. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) 2014 HEMINGWAY FESTIVAL Feb. 10-12, event times and locations vary. This year’s featured guest writer is Kevin Powers, author of “The Yellow Birds.” Powers reads on Feb. 12 at 7:30 pm at the Kenworthy. University of Idaho, 709 S Deakin. uidaho.edu/class/ hemingway (208-885-6156) POET KENNETH GOLDSMITH The English Dept’s Visiting Scholars Series hosts two public presentations by the poet, author, artist and first poet laureate for the Museum of Modern Art. Lectures at 1:10 pm (Jundt) and 7 pm (Jepson Center). Feb. 10. Free and open to the public. Gonzaga, 502 E. Boone Ave. gonzaga.edu (313-6681) SPOKANE STORYTELLING LEAGUE The local group meets monthly on the second Tuesdays from 7-8:30 pm, (Sept-June) for storytelling for both entertainment and instruction. Free. Corbin Senior Center, 827 W. Cleveland Ave. (467-5703 or 466-8672) PNBA AWARDS NIGHT FEAT. JESS WALTER The winner of a 2014 Award from the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association accepts his award and presents. Feb. 13, 7 pm. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main. pnba. org/2014BookAwards (838-0206) PNBA AWARDS NIGHT FEAT. ROBERT WRIGLEY The Moscow-based writer is presented with a 2014 Award from the PNBA for his book of poetry “Anatomy of Melancholy and Other Poems.” Wrigley will read from and sign copies of the collection at the event. Feb. 15, 7 pm. Free. BookPeople of Moscow, 521 S. Main St. (208-882-2669) SPOKANE POETRY SLAM Competitive performance poetry night. Competing poets present original work without costumes, props, or musical accompaniment within a 3-min. limit. Open to all. Feb. 16, 8:30 pm. $5. Lantern Tap House, 1004 S. Perry. (315-9531)

HE TRADED HIS M.D. FOR AN M.A.

AND FOUND NEW WAYS TO HEAL. When neonatologist Erik Strandness felt faith leading his life in a new direction, he knew Whitworth’s M.A. in Theology would help him find his purpose. “It was the best decision I ever made,” he says. And it gave him the tools to transition from a career in medicine to a career in teaching.

• Theological heological education and practical application • Full-time or part-time options imited time on campus means you can continue to • Limited work as you study

, M.D. dnesLsO n a r t S Erik . IN T H E O G Y M .A

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AT E

Apply now. Visit whitworth.edu/theologyMA or call 509.777.3222.

NOT JUST NEWS.

amazing

stories

ETC.

MONSTER JAM Monster truck show. Feb. 7 at 7:30 pm, Feb. 8 at 3 pm and 7:30 pm, Feb. 9 at 2 pm. $20-$40. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. (279-7000) FINDING YOUR ANCESTORS Workshop on recording your family’s oral history in narrative form. Feb. 8, 1-3 pm. Free. Hayden Library, 8385 N. Government Way. (208-772-5612) 

“WAITING,” AUGUST 29, 2013

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 57

Health in the

THEPILATESLIFE “Change your body change your life.”

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58 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

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PUBLIC NOTICE OF AVAILABILITY

Singing Valentines

Environmental Assessment (EA) and Draft Finding of No Significant Impact (FNSI) Closure, Disposal, and Reuse of the PFC Joe E. Mann U.S. Army Reserve Center (USARC) Spokane, Washington

Friday, Feb. 14th 355 nder.com 09) 444-7 la PHONE: (5BulletinBoard@In mit Parkway E-MAIL: 1227 West Sum 01 2 N: IN PERSO Spokane, WA 99

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Indoor Garage Sale & Flea Market Greyhound Park & Event Center

5100 Riverbend Ave. Post Falls, ID Feb 21st & 22nd 9-4 pm $2 (12 & Under Free) Vendor Space Avail. Call 208-773-0545 Ext 203

SCRAPS, 2521 N. Flora. (509) 477-2532 spokanecounty.org/animal BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Interested to Quit Smoking for the New Year?

The WSU Spokane Sleep Center needs smokers 22-40yo willing to quit cold turkey. Earn up to $285. 509-3587756 for more info. IRB#13177

This cute critter needs a home!

Ralph 0570 is an adorable medium haired male kitten. He loves to cuddle and if you look into his eyes, all your worries melt away. You cannot resist him if you meet him and he will make a great Valentine’s Day gift for someone special in your life. Come visit Ralph at SCRAPS and make him your new best friend.

Chic FarmGirl Vintage Market is still accepting vendors!

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DOWN 1. Beefy stew ingredient 2. Setting of the 1962 film “Freud” 3. Takes a piece from 4. “Gone With the Wind” studio 5. Randy of “Brokeback Mountain” 6. Specialty docs 7. Guadeloupe, par exemple 8. “Grey’s Anatomy” hookups 9. Nanny’s cry 10. Rice-____

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a-t-h? 57. How deli meat may be served 58. Nota ____ 59. Egyptian cross 60. Windblown soil 61. Approved 62. Eyelid affliction

Spokane Housing Authority(SHA) Will Accept Online Pre-applications for 2014 Lottery of the Housing Choice Voucher Program Waiting List. From 1/27/14 10am - 2/10/14 3pm. Apply at www.spokanehousing.org - Equal Housing Opportunity

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Written comments should be submitted between February 6, 2014 and March 8, 2014 to the U.S. Army Reserve 88th Regional Support Command BRAC Environmental Coordinator:

ACROSS 1. Fallopian tube traveler 5. Long-reigning English monarch, informally 9. Quit trying, in slang 14. Deer ____ 15. The NCAA’s Runnin’ Rebels 16. Deplete 17. Players who are out of s-t-ea-m? 19. Vagrants 20. “Only when there’s ____ in the month” (old advice about when to eat oysters) 21. Sue Grafton’s “____ for Alibi” 22. Comic Carvey 23. Under consideration 25. Narrow openings that are out of s-e-r-v-i-c-e? 29. Yogurt-based drink of India

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Calling all Hipsters...

Pursuant to the Council on Environmental Quality regulations for implementing the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969 (40 CFR 1500), and Environmental Analysis of Army Actions (32 CFR 651), the Army has conducted an EA to analyze the effects to the human environment associated with the Defense Base Closure and Realignment (BRAC) Commission’s recommendations of closure, disposal, and reuse of the Mann USARC, located at 4415 North Market Street, Spokane, Spokane County, Washington. Public Availability: The EA and draft FNSI are available for a 30-day public comment period after publication of this Notice of Availability. The EA and the Draft FNSI are available for review at the Spokane Public Library – 4005 North Cook Street, Spokane, Washington 99207; the North Spokane Public Library – 44 East Hawthorne Road, Spokane, Washington 99218; and on the BRAC web site at: http://www.hqda.army. mil/acsim/brac/env_ea_review.htm.

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11. Fail to keep, as a promise 12. Words that have a certain ring to them? 13. Some NFL receivers

26. Draws on again 27. It helps hold glasses 31 28. Sermon subject 30. Lowly assistant 34 33. Higher up 36 34. Book between Daniel and Joel 35. 1985 Bruce Spingsteen hit 36. 1950 sci-fi classic 42 43 44 45 37. “Top Gun” foe 48 38. 4.0 is a great one THIS 41. Crops up 50 51 ANSW WEEK’S 43. Pressing I SAW ERS ON 56 44. More than odd YOUS 45. Pacify 59 47. Coleman and Cooper 62 48. Begat 50. “The Dark Knight Rises” villain “OUT OF STEAM” 52. “U crack me up!” 18. Wild and crazy guy 53. “I’ll take that as ____” 22. Commit 54. “Game of Thrones” network 24. “Did you get the email ____ you?” 55. “Yikes!” 25. Is unable to grasp, as a point 56. What hist. majors get 26

FEBRUARY 6, 2014 INLANDER 59

Your Home... Their Hope Become a Foster Parent • Non-traditional and traditional families encouraged to apply • Long term, short term, and respite care needed • Support from our licensed care providers

IT’S FREE

1. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers, Jeers). 2. Provide basic info about you: name, address, phone. 3. Email it to ISawYou@inlander.com by 3 pm Monday.

www.lcsnw.org/spokane (509) 343 5042 | theirhope@lcsnw.org

I Saw You

You Saw Me

Cheers

Applebee’s In the valley. Friday, at about 8:00 pm. You were at the bar having a beer with a friend. You: blonde, gorgeous body and an inviting smile. Me: wearing a Seahawks jersey with Wilson’s number. We made eye contact a couple of times and you smiled. You left in a black Honda. I would love to get to know more about you.

were leaving and I was sitting at a table nearest the exit. Our eyes locked and as I gazed into your eyes, I felt a connection. You were wearing a black leather jacket, jeans and black boots. I hope to see you again. Lunch?

Where Were You In 1992? I just wanted you to remember happier times. Maybe then you would smile more; you glow girl! My definition of a nice guy is simple. He who puts a higher priority on having a meaningful relationship with somebody, than just having somebody to sleep with. If nice guys finish last, it is because they understand how important that is… You get paid by the same place as I do huh? M.O.B. (it has to be your idea)

met and you grabbed my hand as we walked through Riverfront Park. I haven’t been the same. You are my world, my everything and I am so excited for us to start our lives together. There is no one else I want to spend eternity with. I love you. DC

STA Bus Plaza 6:50 pm, Friday. You: green hat, blue shirt, black jacket, and jeans listening to headphones waiting for the bus. Me: long blonde hair, blue eyes. You didn’t get on my bus and as I stared out the window, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you and would like to see you again and get to know you.

T H E PA I N T I N G S O F

Spokane Visual Arts Tour Feb. 7th & 8th · 5pm-1am Satori 122 S. Monroe (Lower Level)

$10 MVP

$3 OFF

HAIRCUT

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First Time Clients Only • Valid ID Required Regular Adult and Child prices and ages may vary by location. Present coupon before haircut. Not valid with any other offer. Coupon may not be bartered, copied, traded, or sold. Valid only at Spokane area locations. EXPIRES 3/31/14 • CODE 2106/2107

Loyal Returning Clients • Valid ID Required Regular Adult and Child prices and ages may vary by location. Present coupon before haircut. Not valid with any other offer. Coupon may not be bartered, copied, traded, or sold. Valid only at Spokane area locations. EXPIRES 3/31/14 • CODE 2108

Snow Running You, young woman walking her brown dog in the fresh snow, on the Centennial Trail near the Monroe Street bridge about 11:30am on Wednesday, January 29th. Me, older woman runner in a fluorescent green wind jacket who passed you. You spoke to me, lamenting the fact that you and your dog weren’t able to be running as well. I made sympathetic noises and said “Too bad,” and then commented that I loved the snow conditions that morning for running. I was having a great run, feeling really exhilarated, and was sorry you weren’t able to run as well. I couldn’t stop to talk with you, but I hope whatever was keeping you from running that day was only temporary and that you’ll be back to it soon. Rocket Bakery Downton Rocket Bakery, Saturday, reading the I Saw You’s, when I saw you, I just knew I needed to meet you, but I didn’t have the guts to do it. You are the most beautiful girl I think I’ve ever seen. You were wearing open toed shoes and I joked about you wearing the shoes while snowing. Wish you stayed around a little longer to chat. Maybe another day?

IT’S GOOD TO BE A GUY

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60 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

Grocery Outlet We talked in line about the expensive wine I was buying. I didn’t like the wine, but I really liked you. Help me pick out my next bottle of wine. Salvation Army Blast from the past. I saw you at the Salvation Army, January 27th. I was volunteering so I couldn’t really talk to you. I do think about you as well hope we can meet up for some coffee sometime. You know who you are and who I am. The hug was really nice. Costco On Thursday, January 30th, at about 2:00 p.m., I was at the northside Costco food court. You

Spokane Airport January 18th. We were both going through security. We laughted at our socks. I had a hole in my right sock and you were wearing Minnie Mouse socks. You: brunette, beautiful smile and an infectious laugh on your way to California. Me: the tall blond guy, fighting with my carry-on. You fixed it. I wanted to ask you to share some morning coffee. Single? Want to get that cup of coffee?

TO CONNECT

Put a non-identifying email address in your message, like “petals327@yahoo.com” — not “j.smith@comcast.net.” Mt. Spokane I saw you at Mt Spokane on Saturday, chair 3, asked if you had someone to ride up with. We had a great conversation. Talked about dogs, boarding and other random stuff. Told me you could only turn one direction... omni-turner, made me laugh. You had a great vibe, awesome board and two different colored bindings...very cool. Wanted to get your number...never got that far lol. I’d like to meet up...maybe grab a beer sometime. Hope to hear from you. Isuzu Rodeo Driving down Division. You in the red Isuzu Rodeo with a great smile, me, long dark hair in a silver Malibu. You caught me singing in my car, I’m better in the shower. How about some singing lessons? No-Li Brew House Raisin, was that you I saw at No-Li Brew House watching the Superbowl? I haven’t seen you since our days at NAU. Quite a while ago. I wore a green shirt and sat at the bar. You were at a table with friend. Let’s have a cup or a pint and catch up. Mike. Northpointe Walmart Saturday, February 1st in the electronics section. You: blonde hair, red reading glasses, jeans, brown wool jacket, looking at video games. Me, Seahawk shirt, jeans, also looking at video games. I asked you which game you were looking for and found it for you. Would love to get together to play the games together.

Cheers Thank You! Cheers and big thanks to the ladies who turned in our Macy’s bag that we dropped in the middle ot NorthTown Mall, Saturday, February 1st. We were lucky to have honest people find it. Thank you so much! Happy Anniversary You are the love of my life! My strength and my joy! Everday with you is better than the last. I’m so happy I found you. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Thank you for hanging in there and accepting most of my faults. Here’s to the next 10 years. My Love I just wanted you to know that I love you more and more every day. Thank you for bringing me into your world. You are truly an amazing person. I love you and I am looking forward to many, many years of loving you more each day. KP Happy Anniversary Honey, it has been a year since we said our I Do’s. Who knew that when your sister set us up that this would happen. This last year has been like a dream. You are an amazing husband and friend. What more could a woman ask for. I can’t wait for the next year. Love MM To A Great Mother Thank you for being such a great mother for our child. You are such a fantastic role model for our little sweetpea. Paying It Forward To the fantastic man who bought our breakfast at Frank’s Diner on the northside, Sunday. It was completely unexpected and very appreciated. We will return the favor. You made our morning and our Super Bowl day. Thank you again. Danny I just wanted to say thank you for all of your support with school and being such a great husband and dad. You have a way of making me laugh when I feel like giving up. I love you so much. KF My Man Honey, you have changed my life from the first moment we

Happy Birthday Mom Thank you so much for being such a great mom. Thank you so much for being by my side over the years. You have stuck by my side through so much. I wouldn’t have achieved my goals if it hadn’t been for your love and support. Yes! Stuart, you asked me to marry you and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if it was because of the excitement of the Super Bowl and the Seahawks winning that you were caught up in the moment of joy and so I didn’t answer you. Yes, I will marry you. I love you and the Seahawks. JC Parking Meter Thank you to the gentleman who gave me a quarter for the parking meter downtown. I was searching in my purse when you came along. It is nice to know that there are still good samaritans out there. It was much appreciated. Thank you This Time It Is Me! Happy Birthday Beautiful girl! You are our wife, mother, best friend, cheerleader, chef and the beating heart of our family. We love you so much. ADog, Lucy, Tiny, and m. One year from today I went from a Cancer patient to a Cancer Survior. I would like to thank those that made this possible and to let them know that I will not forget what they did for me.

Jeers Hit and Run Thank you to the scumsucking sack of monkey crap that hit my car in the Thor Fred Meyer on Saturday, January 25 between 9:50 a.m. and 2 p.m. Thanks for not leaving a note! Thanks for reinforcing my opinion that it’s not worth having nice things in Spokane! You’re lucky that their surveillance video isn’t good enough to get your plate, because they saw you hit me. Snow Removal Has it ever occured to you that not everyone drives in this town? Do you not realize that this is supposedly the largest city on this side of the state and not every poor working class citizen can afford to drive a vehicle. I suppose my question is, where are the @#%* sidewalks?

“I Saw You” is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

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Lets make the Inlander logo bigger I feel like it needs a little more Umph... How would it look if we used the ‘The Untold Stories’ stamp effect like you had on the first proof? then maybe a different treatment for Pick it Up then for the date? Thanks! On Tue, Jan 14, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Production wrote: The Arc of Spokane Thrift Store Jeers

of your donation

Jeers

It’s Not You Jeers to those who end relationships via email. This manner of breaking up is childish at best, and shows no respect for the other person or the time spent together. It takes courage to face issues head on. This is definitely the easy way out and not the grownup thing to do. You can hide behind your computer and keyboard, and with a click of the send button, viola! Relatonship over. Quite obviously such people are selfish and inconsiderate. So go ahead and hit the send button, but remember it could happen to you on your next relationship.

into your slaves! Her horsey friends are “greater than thou” Losers, can talk about nothing else, and are dead boring! I have had it up to my nose with your droppings! Tell your humanoid owners to get off their “high horses”, pull that riding crop out of their asses, and have some respect to the slaves they have condemned that actually do all the work!

Cell Phone Drivers Kill Get off your damn cell phones when you drive, People! 9 humans a day, a DAY! including kids, die on U.S. streets because you cannot shut your faces off for one minute. It is not 5 times, but 23 times! more likely you will crash talking and texting on devises while driving a 5000 pound steel missile. Ladies, you are supposed to be the most compassionate of the genders but 80% of the cell phone drivers are you! The men are not off the hook here either. I know you have the gift to gab your faces off but there comes a time when you really need be smart, be safe and focus on the road and pedestrians and especially, our kids! And that includes yours! Cell Phone Driving in School Zones! OMG! I see it every day! If you run over my kids it will be the last time you drive! And I agree with a previous JEERS writer, When you are driving with your cell phone anywhere close your empty brain, my horn will be going off loud and clear!

Single Ladies I may be working hard and finally getting somewhere in my life, but I still get lonely. And I admit that it gets really hard to be alone at my age, especially when it feels like everyone else is showing off engagement rings and announcing pregnancies. It gets really f@%*ing hard, but I want a man worth waiting for. So for all of the single ladies out there, like me, who have a string of failed relationships and shameful sexual misadventures trailing behind them, STOP!! It’s better to wait years for a good guy then to settle with some loser you met online who lists fantasy football and Monster energy drinks as his “can’t live with-outs”. Seriously, get a dog or volunteer, don’t waste your time with these creeps. When you are at a good place in your life, you will find a good partner.

Horse Abyss Dear Horses. Why do you often create a pathetic following of stuck up, self centered, slave drivers? You are an endless money pit of out of control behavior. Land, barn, fencing, vets, food, jumps, shows, trailer, truck, etc… OMG! You take all of our money! We are trapped at home. Why 3 feedings a day! Your owners have turned us

Hit and Run On Maple To the white pickup that rear-ended me then left the scene. Nice example to your 2 boys in the backseat. I called the police.

Car Thieves To the jerks who broke into my boyfriends car and stole his laptop and backpack. Thanks for making life even tougher for a hard working single dad going to college. I hope whatever drug run you needed goes terribly wrong and you have the worst trip of your life that ends in an overdose. RE: Dear Mafia You do realize, if you would pay your bills on time, you would get a credit card for less than 29.99%. Those high rates

’S THIS WEEK! ANSWERS

OUT OF STEAM

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are reserved for low score debtors. Low scores are from maxed out cards and missed payments. I know, it is the banks fault the payment was missed/lost, etc. Funny how I never miss a payment, pay every time, and my credit cards are 7.99%. Car Thief To the person or people who decided it would be fun to steal my daughter’s only mode of transportation for work. THANKS!!! I will say thanks for leaving the car seats. She is a single parent trying to provide for her children. You have made it so difficult. I hope you enjoyed your ride!! It happened over on the Northside near Francis. You know who you are!! Grocery Carts To the grocery stores who do not provide motorized carts in working condition. I went into a grocery store hobbling on crutches and not one of the motorized cars were charged or working properly. I like shopping at this grocery store, but I ended up going to their competitor who had motorzied carts that enabled me to purchase the groceries I needed. Jeers to Kahle, our favorite barista, for leaving us for bigger and better things :( Ok, we really should probably say “Cheers and Good Luck!” but we are just too sad to see you go! You have been wonderful - the cheerful, smiling face behind the espresso machine making delicious coffees and always brightening our day. We wish you the best of luck in your new endeavors! - The ‘IN’ Coffee Crew Jeers To The Cable Company we all know and hate - for charging me more than you said you would for TV service that STILL doesn't work, hanging up on me twice when I called to have it fixed, and causing me to miss the Super Bowl AND the Puppy Bowl. You're the worst. If it wasn't for internet nobody would even use you. Here's to hoping that special company from the internet picks Spokane for Fiber Service soon, so we can all cancel your overpriced, terrible service for once and for all. Jeers to the soulless waste of space who allowed the beautiful brown and white pitbull to starve and senselessly die near 1800 West Boone. There are rescues and resources who could have stepped in and given that poor dog a chance at the life he deserved. Rest assured, we will not stop until we have exhausted all efforts in tracking down your sorry ass. Thank you to SCRAPS for stepping in and making a difficult decision one which allowed that animal to rest in peace.

PICK IT UP FEBRUARY 13TH

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FEBRUARY 6, 2013 INLANDER 61

At Last

Lifelong Seattle sports fans have suffered unlike any other city — and now they finally have a championship BY MIKE BOOKEY

n Sunday evening, a few minutes after Percy Harvin broke away from the entirety of the Broncos’ kickoff coverage team, I sat holding my 10-month-old son. He was wearing a 12th Man shirt for reasons he won’t understand for several years and gnawing on an empty Skittles bag, the contents of which had been tossed around after a Marshawn Lynch touchdown an hour earlier. He didn’t choose to become a Seahawks fan (and a fan of all other Seattle teams), and neither did I. My dad had me on his lap in front of the television back in the mid-1980s, too. And he took me to the Kingdome, where I learned to pee in a trough and catch roasted peanuts from a guy named Rick who was more famous in the city than most of the players on the field. I learned “The Wave” and that “Louie Louie” is always played after “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” But it also was where I learned about disappointment and manageable expectations and that this is all just a game. I also learned how to lose. But now I was watching the Seattle Seahawks win a Super Bowl. I was almost jealous — it took me 31 years to see a championship, but my little guy got it on his first try. Things were going to be different for him. Maybe it wouldn’t be as agonizing. Maybe the defeatist ethos I and thousands of others have carried for a lifetime like a masochistic badge of honor wouldn’t be passed down to the next generation. Things haven’t been great for Seattle teams since professional sports arrived, despite a few glimpses of what could be. The Hawks have had a few winning years. The Mariners have been atrocious except for those few magical years that culminated in disappointment, and the Sonics, hell, the

62 INLANDER FEBRUARY 6, 2014

powers that be straight took them away from us and put them in the most anti-Seattle place you can think of. And then they got really good. The WNBA’s Seattle Storm won titles in 2004 and 2010, but I had to remind you, so that didn’t do much for us, it seems. But now we have that championship. It feels good, but it’s also foreign. It’s like a new shirt you know looks amazing but is just itchy enough to remind you that it’s not something you typically wear. When you’re a Seattle sports fan from birth, you watch World Series games and Super Bowls and when the confetti rains down, you wonder what it would be like if that was your team. But you don’t let yourself wonder for too long, because it seems irrational in the same way that it’s irrational to look at a private jet and say, “I bet I’ll have one of those some day.” I’ve heard some people say that Seattle is a city of losers, and that’s not quite right. It’s not, however, a city of winners: Other than a 1979 NBA championship, Seattle teams haven’t won much. They’ve teased us a few times, just enough to let those “this could be the year” daydreams seep into the minds of fans who ultimately would be disappointed. (See: 2001 Seattle Mariners.) We’re not losers as much as we are reluctant believers. Perhaps this is because we’re isolated out here in this corner of the

country, making us, by and large, a hardy bunch. We can take it, but not without forming a massive chip on our collective shoulder; we remain convinced that the rest of the nation either doesn’t care about our sports teams or is part of a vast conspiracy to make us lose. For years, our highlights didn’t make SportsCenter and our players were slighted by All-Star Games and Pro Bowls. Still, over all these years, I’ve never thought about jumping on a bandwagon of a winning team from some other city, even when I’ve lived in other cities with Perhaps the next generation of Seattle better teams. I never sports fans will grow up as winners. defected, and neither did so many other fans who have worn their Seattle colors proudly during the worst of times. And damn it if wasn’t all worth it on Sunday night. The first time I put a Seahawks shirt on my son at the beginning of the season, I did so with a deep sigh, knowing I was bestowing upon him a lineage of sports fandom that had given me a life of grief. I’m no longer worried — he’s starting off on a good note. I just hope he sees more wins than losses, because that’s all you can really hope for your kids. n

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