Inlander 06/24/2021

BREAK TIME TEN TIPS FOR DISCONNECTING THIS SUMMER PAGE 6

CREPE CREATIONS A NEW ATTRACTION IN KENDALL YARDS PAGE 25

DUMB AND RECKLESS FAST AND FURIOUS: GLORIOUSLY STUPID PAGE 27

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2 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

INSIDE VOL. 28, NO. 37 | COVER ILLUSTRATION: JON MERRELL

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nside our local colleges, researchers are contemplating some of life’s greatest questions. In a way, all those questions can be traced back to one: What if…? What if massive saber-toothed cats roamed the Inland Northwest? What if dozens of planets offer even more ideal conditions for supporting life than Earth? What if you could replicate the perfect goat and help feed the world? Beginning on page 12, find answers to those and other questions inside this week’s SCHOLASTIC FANTASTIC section celebrating the latest research and insights coming out of our local universities.

Also this week: News reporter Daniel Walters explores the turmoil that has gripped Spokane City Hall (page 8). As City Councilwoman Betsy Wilkerson says, “The honeymoon might be over.”

— JACOB H. FRIES, editor

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SPOKANE • EASTERN WASHINGTON • NORTH IDAHO • INLANDER.COM

1227 WEST SUMMIT PARKWAY, SPOKANE, WA 99201 PHONE: 509-325-0634 | EMAIL: INFO@INLANDER.COM THE INLANDER is a locally owned, independent newspaper founded on Oct. 20, 1993. It’s printed on newsprint that is at least 50 percent recycled; please recycle THE INLANDER after you’re done with it. One copy free per person per week; extra copies are $1 each (call x226). For ADVERTISING information, email advertising@inlander.com. To have a SUBSCRIPTION mailed to you, call x213 ($50 per year). To find one of our more than 1,000 NEWSRACKS where you can pick up a paper free every Thursday, call x226 or email frankd@inlander.com. THE INLANDER is a member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia. All contents of this newspaper are protected by United States copyright law. © 2021, Inland Publications, Inc.

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IF YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME, WHAT ERA AND/OR PLACE WOULD YOU GO AND WHY? MORGAN ROBINSON: I think I would have to go with ancient Egypt. Not only do I find Egypt fascinating, and its culture beautiful and rich, it was also one of the most progressive cultures toward women. Women could choose to marry or not, they could inherit wealth and land from their fathers, and they had a lot more rights than most other cultures.

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Every week, we ask our followers on social media to share their thoughts.

SEAN McCARTNEY: The ’80s. Things were so much simpler then. Plus, I would’ve bet every dollar I had on Buster Douglas and be set for life.

Plus, when 2020 came around again I would be long gone.

ANNA BEER: I’d go back six years before I was pregnant and take a ton of naps!!

STANLEY PETERSON: I’d go back to the first humans and end them…

We suck monster balls. I tell people all the time it’s a good thing I don’t have any superpowers, there’d be a lot of people in cars flying into the sun. Despite that, I’m a generally happy and friendly guy.

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DAVE BROWN: I would go back and see the Palouse prairie before settlers arrived.

RACHELE NICHOLS: 1800s in which I can live as a homesteader… much simpler times.

CLYDE HERRINGTON: I’d like to be with Eric the Red when he reached North America. I would be in charge of setting up trade agreements with the Indigenous peoples. Columbus would have been irrelevant.

STEVE ST GEORGE: I’d put on sunglasses and go back to the Big Bang.

ATTICUS

HAROLD CROSE: Pacific Northwest pre-logging. Old growth forests, streams, rivers.

FUN NW GIFTS • COFFEE • BOOKS • GOOD TIMES

ERIC REIS: I’d go back to 2015 and try my damndest to stop Donald Trump from being elected.

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DAVID LEETH: I’d have to see me some dinosaurs. n

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Yes, you can leave home without it.

his weekend I’m going into the woods with my family. We’ll be far, far away from cellphone signals, completely unZoomable, ignoring all emails, tweets and alerts. If I hear annoying buzzing, it will be mosquitos, not text messages.

I’m super excited, and yet I’m struggling to wrap my head around fully disconnecting for more than a few hours after this bizarro year.

You’d think 14 months of being glued to screens for all areas of my life would be enough to make me want to throw my phone in the river and

watch it sink down between the slimy rocks until it becomes nothing but a useless block of plastic for trout to swim past. And yet I cling to my little digital friend.

Since I know how tough it can be to pry yourself away from the siren call of screens, I’ve compiled a handy list of 10 strategies for taking a break from tech this summer.

(I did have digital assistance on this, thanks to some Facebook friends — but let’s just pretend I wrote each of them a handwritten letter asking for their help to avoid that irony, OK?)

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1. Leave your phone at home and go for a walk. Your phone won’t even miss you.

2. Establish an official place to set your phone instead of keeping it in your pocket. Make sure it’s a safe, logical spot — that way you’ll be forced to disconnect for several days when you lose your phone the first time you put it there.

3. Leave your phone at home and go for a bike, scooter or skateboard ride. Or if you’re as graceful as me, just take another walk.

ION ECT

“Go for a drive in the mountains until you find a trail, then follow the trail until you’re thoroughly lost, then cry until a Bigfoot comes to rescue you.”

6. Instead of using social media, buy a bunch of postcards, write your random thoughts on them and mail them to your friends.

See if you get any back. (Those are like comments!)

7. Leave your phone at home and drive until you find a road where you can’t see any houses. Stop, get out and listen.

8. Complete an outdoor task that requires focus, precision and physical effort, like washing your windows, organizing your storage spaces, pulling all the thistles out of your garden or pulling all of the thistles out of my garden.

9. Leave your phone at home and go for a drive in the mountains until you find a trail, then follow the trail until you’re thoroughly lost, then cry until a Bigfoot comes to rescue you, then abandon your normal life and join a Bigfoot commune. This could take awhile, so be sure to pack books and snacks.

10. Get together with people you love (or new friends) and do something screen-free. It really doesn’t matter what you do — hiking, playing board games, visiting around a campfire, learning to knit, doing water aerobics, going to the library, taking the kids to the park, sharing a meal, sitting in comfy lawn chairs and watching how the shadows of the trees change while the sun goes down — whatever floats your boat, including actual boating. Human connection is the best way to remember how many wonderful things will never fit inside a screen.

I’ve been focusing on numbers 1, 6, 8 and 10, with a smattering of 4. (If anyone needs to borrow a 9-year-old…) I’m still more attached to my screens than I’d like to be — but I’m hoping this weekend in the woods helps break some of my lingering bad habits. And if I need a little extra help, there’s always the river. n Tara Roberts is a writer and college journalism adviser who lives in Moscow with her husband, sons and poodle. Her work has appeared in Moss, Hippocampus and a variety of regional publications. Follow her on Twitter @tarabethidaho.

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5. Leave your phone at home and go for a drive around town.

See if you can find a neighborhood you’ve never been to before and navigate your way home without a map app.

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4. Spend a morning with a 9-year-old who really, really likes to talk about the new Minecraft Caves and Cliffs expansion, and who expects you to remember everything about Minecraft even though you’ve never actually played it. Soon you will be swearing off technology and looking for an actual cave to hide in.

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City Council President Breean Beggs says that the emails released by outgoing city leader Cupid Alexander suggest “deep dysfunction” in City Hall. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

CUPID’S VOLLEY CITY HALL

Cupid Alexander’s explosive exit continues to shake up Spokane City Hall and undercut Mayor Woodward’s recent homelessness claims

BY DANIEL WALTERS

S

tanding at a podium outside a homeless shelter in the midday heat on June 3, Spokane Mayor Nadine Woodward celebrated the city’s new approach that, she said, increasingly emphasized getting people out of homelessness, and not just off the street.

“I’m the only one representing the city for this announcement,” Woodward said when asked why City Council members hadn’t been invited to the press conference. “These are operational things. These are things that I’m in charge of doing.”

Yet, as Woodward touted the city’s partnerships with Spokane County and local nonprofits, internally the city’s division in charge of addressing homelessness was about to be hit with another blow.

On June 14, Cupid Alexander, the city’s director of neighborhoods​, housing and human services division, abruptly announced his resignation, effective July 30.

And on Wednesday, after being told he’d have to use

8 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

his time off instead of continuing to serve through July, Alexander sent out a fiery email.

Arguing that other city employees hadn’t been treated this way, he accused City Administrator Johnnie Perkins, who had been in that job barely two months, of racial discrimination.

“I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this has been intentionally unethical, unequitable, worst-practices and a direct mistreatment that I can attribute from YOUR treatment of me, Johnnie, to my race,” he wrote to Perkins. “As the lone black employee I’m tired of this treatment.”

“The allegations Mr. Alexander made in the email are very serious,” a statement from the city of Spokane reads.

“Racism has no place in the organization, community or country.”

A day later, Woodward announced a third-party investigation into Perkins. The city cited that investigation

as a reason not to answer any additional questions about any of the issues Alexander raised in his emails.

“We need to respect the investigation process and give it space to play out,” city spokesman Brian Coddington wrote, turning down Inlander requests to speak with several different officials.

Yet as Alexander left, he forwarded a slew of emails to City Council members that not only outlined his concerns about racial bias, but detailed dysfunction at City Hall and suggested that Woodward’s administration had been intentionally withholding information from the council.

It’s exactly the kind of public reckoning that Alexander accused Perkins of trying to avoid.

“You came to my office and tried to intimidate me into NOT sending you emails because they are ‘public record’ and to just ‘talk’ to you,” Alexander writes in one ...continued on page 10

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 9

NEWS | CITY HALL “CUPID’S VOLLEY,” CONTINUED... email. “You were worried [about] the public information.

Leadership requires accountability. I have been accountable for EVERY thing I’ve done here.”

W

hen Woodward stepped into City Hall in January 2020, she found a lot of empty desks.

Former Mayor David Condon had left a slew of vacancies, arguing that his successor deserved a chance to build out her own team.

Yet Woodward’s picks have been rife with turnover.

Her first pick to lead the human resources department left within a few months. Her first city administrator pick, Wes Crago, resigned with little explanation in September.

“We will get through this,” Woodward wrote at the time in an email she sent to herself to print out, “we will not lose ground but we will have better direction in [carrying] out my initiatives.”

Two months later, in November, Woodward hired Alexander to run the neighborhood services division, calling him “someone our community partners will find engaging and collaborative.”

In one sense, it was a surprising choice: Woodward had campaigned for mayor on a conservative platform that savaged the city’s homeless shelter approach as “enabling” addiction and encouraging more homeless people to move here. Alexander, meanwhile, was a mayoral adviser in left-wing Portland.

Part of Alexander’s job was to oversee the Community, Housing and Human Services Department, the frequently troubled department in charge of the city’s shelters and homelessness.

For years, as an understaffed and overworked CHHS repeatedly struggled to find enough warming centers and shelter space, the department was hammered by the administration, the City Council and the public. When Alexander took the helm, in the middle of the pandemic,

email in May. “I have no deputy. I have no appointed individual. I am taking on the CHHS director role.”

He recounts taking medical time off because he’d been focusing so many months trying to “right the ship” at City Hall. But when a new city administrator finally arrived in April, it didn’t make Alexander’s job any easier.

As Perkins started to try to get up to speed, he’d send Alexander lists of questions and assignments. But Alexander appeared to grow increasingly irritated with what he saw as Perkins’ lack of responsiveness or clarity. He’d been “iced out” from crucial information and major meetings, he wrote, and sent on “fools errands” to complete busy work that the administration didn’t bother to use.

would call out what he saw as racially loaded rhetoric, sometimes in response to criticism he’d received, and sometimes more generally.

Betsy Wilkerson, the sole Black woman on the City Council, stresses that such concerns should be taken seriously.

“The question folks of color have asked is, ‘Don’t you believe me?’” Wilkerson says. “Most people don’t go around making up and playing the race card any chance they get.”

The issues Alexander raised go far beyond how the administration treated him.

Woodward’s June 3 press conference celebrated the department’s decision to extend a contract with the Guardians Foundation to run the Cannon Street shelter. But in a May 20 email to Perkins, Alexander wrote that he “kept staff from pretty much walking off the job because they disagreed” with the administration extending the Guardians’ contract.

In April, a state audit concluded that the CHHS department previously had been pressured to circumvent policies and procedures. Yet Alexander’s emails suggest Woodward’s administration was pressuring the CHHS department to extend the Guardians Foundation’s contract by 90 days without following a formal request-forproposal process — exactly the sort of issue the audit had flagged.

City Administrator Johnnie Perkins, left, and Cupid Alexander, neighborhood services director.

While Perkins argued that the city attorney said there was no legal issue, Alexander countered that “legality isn’t the issue — process and precedence is.”

On May 20, a lengthy email from Alexander to And while Woodward has highlighted regional Perkins brimmed with animosity, detailed weeks of grievcollaboration around homelessness, Alexander’s emails ances and listed 13 different email messages he’d sent to raised concerns that the informal regional group discussPerkins that the city administrator hadn’t responded to. ing homelessness had created yet another messy layer of In the email, which Alexander shared with the City bureaucracy.

Council, he wrote that he felt “personally targeted.”

“The regional leadership table is further confusing as Spokane’s City Council members across the ideologiit holds no charter, therefore any decisions would be an cal spectrum have showered Alexander with praise for obstruction of [public] meeting laws,” Alexander wrote to his housing expertise Perkins in a May 5 email. and his willingness Woodward had also told reporters at the June press to share what he saw conference that the recent “point-in-time count” of as the unvarnished Spokane’s homeless population concluded that — detruth. spite homelessness increasing in recent years — the city “He’s very needed to do a better job of using existing shelters to pointed about what move people out of homelessness, instead of adding more he says: ‘Here are shelter spaces. the facts,’” Kinnear says. “Boom, boom, boom.”

When reporters expressed skepticism of the premise, Yet in both Portland and Spokane, there are people Woodward doubled down. who tell the Inlander that Alexander’s intensity and con“That’s what they came up with,” Woodward says. fidence could sometimes come across as “That’s the recommendation of the blunt or dismissive.

CHHS staff.”

LETTERS In his email to Perkins, Alexander But it wasn’t.

Send comments to accused the city administrator of attacking When the actual report about the editor@inlander.com. him with vague intimations that Perkins homeless count was finally released, it had been “‘hearing’ things” about him. clearly recommended considering both Alexander was more direct in his response. adding more shelter spaces and reworking the existing “I have emails from colleagues indicating ... that our ones. meetings with YOU are the worst they’ve been in,” AlIn his emails, Alexander suggests that the administraexander writes to Perkins, saying he could prove it. “You tion had intentionally withheld the point-in-time count can deep dive my emails.” report from the City Council for at least a month. He wrote that the administration was trying to make sure the uch of the investigation into Alexander’s allegapoint-in-time count didn’t “disrupt” the mayor’s housing tions will focus on the concerns he raised about and homelessness plans, “as other entities were prepping discrimination. to attack” it.

“You said your ‘son’ said I looked athletic and asked Considering the apparent lack of transparency, Wilkif I played sports,” Alexander wrote to Perkins. “Stereoerson wonders if the trust between the City Council and typing me in every possible way imaginable.” the Woodward administration might be damaged.

Alexander has raised these kinds of concerns before.

“The honeymoon might be over,” Wilkerson says. n Several in Portland cited instances when Alexander danielw@inlander.com

“I have emails from colleagues indicating ... that our meetings with YOU are the worst they’ve been in.” the department was already plagued by turnover. And the turnover only got worse after he took over.

The Community, Housing and Human Services department’s senior manager, Tija Danzig, left in March.

The department’s director, Tim Sigler, who had already been on leave for months, resigned shortly after.

City Councilwoman Lori Kinnear doesn’t believe that Alexander’s leadership style was to blame. It was the unreasonable workload they faced. “[Danzig] was working in excess of 80 hours a week,” Kinnear says. “Because we were understaffed, she was being asked to do things at a pace that was not really humanly possible or sustainable.”

Today, there are seven vacancies within the CHHS department. With each employee who left, more and more work was heaped on the remaining staffers, including Alexander.

“They took MONTHS of leave off with zero notice, leaving me and others to scrape together the work — even as I was a new employee who received ZERO onboarding,” Alexander wrote in his email to Perkins last week.

Sigler “has been gone a majority of the six months I’ve been here,” Alexander wrote in one exasperated

10 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

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HIGHER LIFE FORMS What if dozens of planets offer even more ideal conditions for supporting life than Earth?

BY JACOB JONES

O

ut of thousands of planets strewn across the universe, Earth got pretty lucky. It has a close, but not too close, sun. It has a protective atmosphere. It has water and oxygen and a variety of environments for developing and sustaining that elusive spark of existence — life.

But recent research from geobiologist Dirk SchulzeMakuch, who specializes in astrobiology at Washington State University, suggests dozens of planets may offer even more ideal conditions for supporting life than Earth.

“There can be actually quite a bit of variation,” he says. “With that variation, you can come up with an even better planet than Earth.”

12 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

Schulze-Makuch, with astronomers René Heller and Edward Guinan, recently published a peer-reviewed paper listing 24 potentially “superhabitable” planets based on their theoretical conditions such as solar radiation, temperature, atmosphere, water content or other lifesupporting traits.

The researchers compared more than 4,000 exoplanets to create their short list of promising planets for further study. Schulze-Makuch says he tried to imagine how various beneficial characteristics might add up to create the necessities for alien organisms.

“Life is so adaptive,” he says. “How could life make a living? What kind of resources could you use? ... Life is

very creative and inventive.”

The type of star, its orbit radius and its radiation output often served as the initial criteria for narrowing candidates. Schulze-Makuch notes that K dwarf stars can provide much longer periods of stable, habitable radiation than our own G star. Having longer stability allows more time for life to develop, which scientists estimate may take 5 billion to 8 billion years.

Terrestrial planets about 50 percent larger than Earth would also provide more land mass for growing life while generating enough gravity to maintain a stable atmosphere, he says. Planets with extensive coastal areas and slightly warmer temperatures would also be poised to

An artist’s concept depicts Kepler-186f, the first validated Earth-size planet to orbit a distant star in the habitable zone.

NASA PHOTO

DIRK SCHULZE-MAKUCH

support more biodiversity than Earth.

They also looked at tectonic geology, moons, planet age and other traits to prioritize the key characteristics for superhabitable planets.

“Habitability includes so many different factors and parameters,” he says.

Schulze-Makuch emphasizes they have only identified planets with potential for habitation. Due to the limits of technology, they cannot yet confirm many of the measurements or conditions that would confirm habitability. Some of the closest candidates are still more than 100 light years away, he says. Others are 3,000 light years away. And new planets are discovered all the time.

“We cannot say we’ve found a superhabitable planet,” he says. “This is just the first step.”

Their list can provide a starting point for future research or examination by space telescopes, but it may take years of follow-up and still-unimagined technology to confirm their suspicions.

Schulze-Makuch acknowledges many of their theories and priorities may also be limited by their Earthly

NASA AMES/SETI INSTITUTE/JPL-CALTECH

understanding of how life develops and what it needs to survive. Extraterrestrial life may flourish under wildly different environments. Some of his other research explores how creatures survive in extreme environments.

Statistically, he says, there’s a high probability that the universe hosts a great variety of life, including complex beings, scattered across its immense reaches.

Instead of searching for a copycat of Earth, SchulzeMakuch says, it was important to look objectively at how other planets might offer superior conditions. He says he believes that idea helps him keep our place in the universe in perspective.

“We’re getting away from this Earth-centricity,” he says, adding, “I’m just interested in how nature works. ... You get a little bit more of a glimpse of what is really going on in nature out in the universe.”

Schulze-Makuch says such mysteries have inspired him since he was a child, looking up at the stars.

“It addresses one of the most ancient philosophical questions: Are we alone?” he says. “I can add a minuscule contribution to that question, get closer to the answer.” n

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 13

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SEEDS OF CHANGE What if we could rebuild the Palouse Prairie’s native land?

BY WILSON CRISCIONE

U

p a dirt road behind Eastern Washington University’s football stadium, a ridge overlooks an expanse of rolling wheat fields where everything is solid green, as if painted over with a broad brush.

That’s not how the Palouse Prairie naturally looks.

It’s the result of humans taking the land over and using the fertile ground for agriculture, stripping 99 percent of the prairie of its native plants.

But soon, researchers at Eastern Washington University hope to transform 120 acres of this land back into native prairie.

When they do, there will be clumps of yellow and pink flowers, bunch grasses of varying sizes, a diverse array of insects and wildlife drawn to their natural habitat. It will be the recipe used to try to restore a diverse ecosystem that’s become endangered.

“This is our chance to be a part of that ecosystem and bring it back,” says Erik Budsberg, EWU’s sustainability coordinator and the project leader for EWU’s Prairie Restoration project.

It will take years before the university-owned land will be restored, but the end goal won’t just be a green space for students and faculty to escape to. It will be a “living laboratory,” Budsberg says. The university will use it for research opportunities across a variety of disciplines, including biology and ecology.

In fact, as the seeds of the first native plants begin

14 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

to grow, it’s already providing research opportunities for students. Kristy Snyder, a graduate student in the biology department, is studying the effects of planting annual seeds, trying to understand how they might help the ecosystem and why they’re so scarce. She planted seeds on one and a half acres on the research site, and regularly tends the space to understand how the various plants are doing.

“It’s really cool to be able to join in on the beginning of a project like this,” Snyder says.

Justin Bastow, an assistant professor of biology at EWU, says there are several research questions that the restoration project could help answer. For example, how might the native plants affect soil critters and carbon sequestration in the soil? And how long does that recovery process take?

These are questions that students and faculty can study right there on campus.

“Those plants are going to support lots of bugs and bug diversity, which is what I’m really excited about — presumably also wildlife, birds, mammals and whatnot,” Bastow says.

O

ther disciplines at EWU have benefited as well.

Stacy Warren, the director of EWU’s Geographic Information Systems, says computer science students have been able to help map out the land,

ERIK BUDSBERG in order to come up with an accurate digital representation. Archaeology students, meanwhile, have been out digging through the land to better understand its history.

Geology students are using the land for research on groundwater.

“It brings students together from different disciplines and literally all walks of life,” Warren says.

It will take several years or more before the land will look like its native habitat again. The plan was to plant seeds in fall 2020 for a 15-acre pilot site. But the pandemic delayed those plans. Right now, Snyder’s acre and a half for her research is all they have for a pilot

EWU researchers hope to transform 120 acres back into native prairie. WILSON CRISCIONE PHOTO site. Budsberg hopes to plant more seeds this fall, when seasonal moisture should help the plants get established.

The other problem is that seeds for the native plant species can be expensive. The seeds for sticky geranium, a perennial plant with pink flowers, cost about $600 per pound, for example.

“It just costs orders of magnitude more than other species,” says Becky Brown, EWU’s biology department chair. “But it’s really common in the Palouse. So if we really want to bring back the Palouse habitat, we need to get it established.”

Alternatively, they could gather seeds from existing native habitat. But with only 1 percent of native prairie left, that’s not always easy to do.

The project has been funded so far mostly through the EWU Foundation, and further funding may come from other individuals, companies or stakeholders that want to see the prairie restored.

Budsberg says the origin of the project began five years ago, when he and other university leaders started thinking about how to better use campus facilities. As sustainability coordinator, Budsberg was interested in reducing the carbon footprint and emissions of the university while also finding a way to sequester carbon. He started thinking about restoring the prairie, since it could also increase learning for faculty and staff.

“This is our chance to help have that large natural native green space on campus that really encourages folks to connect with our region more,” Budsberg says. “The most important thing we can all do is have a better sense of place and understanding of how we can fit in our communities.”

Restoring 120 acres won’t put much of a dent in the overall landscape of the region. But by doing this work, the university believes it will be able to develop approaches to restoring the land that can help others if they choose to do the same.

Maybe, parts of the prairie will look like they used to, piece by piece.

“It’s a model for students and the community for how this can look,” says Brown. “I think more people will be inspired — its education and inspiration. I mean, that’s what universities do.” n

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JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 15

IC T S A L CHO C

TI S A T N FA

S

DESERT RESEARCH INSTITUTE PHOTO

LIVING SMOKE

What if a brand new field of science could explain how wildfire smoke carries microbes?

BY SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL

W

hen wildfires rage across the landscape, whether on grasslands or in forests, the massive plumes of smoke that rise into the air and travel for miles can carry more than a thousand different types of microbes with them.

Yet until University of Idaho associate professor Leda Kobziar came along, there was essentially no research on what bacteria and fungi might be carried in that smoke, how far those microbes might travel, or how they might impact soil ecology both where the fire started and where the microbes land.

So Kobziar and a postdoc researcher ended up coining the term pyroaerobiology to describe the brand new field of study around 2018, Kobziar says.

“There was nothing to call it, and really there had only been one paper that had addressed the topic at all in sort of an indirect way in 2004,” Kobziar says. “So we were picking up from that idea and just moving forward with it in ways that nobody had done, unfortunately, because it’s such an interesting topic.”

For the last four years, Kobziar has been the director of U of I’s master of natural resources program.

But this year, in addition to ongoing work with the U.S. Forest Service and the Environmental Protection Agency, she’ll be able to focus more on microbe research as part of a $940,000 National Science Foundation grant.

The NSF grant will help fund Kobziar, who is based out of U of I’s Harbor Center in Coeur d’Alene, and her partners across the country as they study grassland fires in Kansas and in a specialty lab-controlled environment at the U of I Moscow campus.

Specifically, they’ll be looking at tall grass prairies, which are some of the most frequently burned landscapes around the world, she says. They’ll be looking to learn how fire influences biodiversity, whether microorganisms in smoke live long enough to land somewhere else, whether they can repopulate when they get there, and how they impact the sites where they land.

“Smoke could be acting as a temporary refuge for microorganisms,” Kobziar says. “In very large fire circumstances, it could be that it’s a very important part of restarting the life cycle. We want to understand how [microorganism] community dynamics change with smoke.”

It’s also important to understand those things as scientists want to know how crops and plants that depend on microorganisms might be impacted after fires.

Plus, smoke can carry microbes that are dangerous to human health, so some of the research may ultimately illuminate just how concerning wildfire events can be for people.

16 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

“Everything we’re exploring seems like the real fundamental stuff to understand,” Kobziar says. “We know it’s been taking place for many millions of years, but it’s never been quantified in terms of its importance biologically.”

STUDYING SMOKE

Some microbes that help with nitrogen production, for example, are extremely helpful. Some fungi can also be important for symbiotic relationships with plants, she says. But harmful pathogens can also be transported in smoke.

Currently the filters Kobziar’s team use to collect smoke samples aren’t fine enough or set up properly to analyze viruses, she says. The team uses unmanned drones to collect samples, and filters that could trap viruses would likely be too heavy for that equipment to carry.

When possible, her team takes air samples before a LEDA KOBZIAR controlled burn happens, or at a spot very close to a wildfire where smoke hasn’t touched that air yet. That shows which microbes are already in the ambient air, which the scientists can then compare to the bacteria and fungi found in smoke samples.

So far they’ve found more than 1,000 different types of microbes in their smoke samples that aren’t found in ambient air, she says.

For this year’s NSF grant, Kobziar will work with the Desert Research Institute in Reno, Nevada, the University of Florida in Gainesville and San José State University to study fires on tall grass prairies.

In addition to studying controlled burns that happen every few years in Kansas, Kobziar’s team will be able to take soil and grass samples from a site there and experiment inside a combustion lab on the Moscow campus.

“We’ll do some smoke experiments where we directly take soils that are sterilized and expose them to known quantities of smoke-produced organisms and see what happens,” Kobziar says. “We’ll see if these organisms have the capacity to reproduce wherever they land.”

Researchers at San José State University will also create models to predict how far microbes could potentially travel in wildfire smoke as part of the project.

While the NSF work is ongoing, Kobziar is also working with the EPA to sample wildfire smoke whenever conditions allow for that.

“Whenever those happen, we take advantage of those either on the ground or with drones if we can gain access to them,” she says.

Because unmanned drones are always a lower priority than the safety of firefighters and manned firefighting aircraft, it’s not always possible to get samples in the air at wildfire sites, she says. At times it’s still possible to get samples from the ground depending on the flow of the smoke.

However, some of her students in the master of natural science program are also wildland firefighters, and as more of them become interested in her work, there may be more chances to partner with Forest Service drones that are already used to survey the perimeters of wildfires.

“But we also ensure our sampling is done using aseptic techniques from start to finish,” Kobziar says.

“Everybody handling equipment has to be using gloves that are sterilized … that kind of makes having anyone else do it complicated.”

One of the most pressing questions facing her field is how these microbes might impact human health. We already know that exposure to smoke can be damaging to human health. But how might microbes, especially allergens or pathogens, play a role?

“It’s imperative that we understand that, especially given that we live in a fire environment,” Kobziar says.

“We have to accept the fire regime as being part of our environment. It’s something we need to live with.”

As research reveals more information about harmful allergens in smoke, health officials could potentially have more of a heads-up about situations that could impact people who are immunocompromised, she says. Alternatively, more information could alleviate some concerns.

Another fascinating question Kobziar is curious about: What happens when there are fires in areas once covered by permafrost, where soils that have been buried under ice for millenia are now becoming exposed?

“What that might mean for new microbes or microbes that haven’t been there for thousands of years?”

Kobziar asks.

Many other questions remain to be explored, too.

“I used to laugh about this being a lifetime’s worth of work,” she says, “and now I realize it’s more than that.” n

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JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 17

IC T S A L CHO C

TI S A T N FA

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CAT TALES

A mural by Roger Witter at John Day Fossil Beds National Monument depicts the Machairodus lahayishipup eating a camel. COURTESY OF NATIONAL PARK SERVICE

What if massive saber-toothed cats roamed the Inland Northwest?

BY NATE SANFORD

W

hen it comes to paleontology, the most exciting discoveries aren’t always made in the field.

Sometimes, they’re made in a windowless museum basement lined with cabinets full of bones.

That’s where John Orcutt was around 2008, pursuing a Ph.D. at the University of Oregon and paying the bills with a job inventorying fossils at the university’s Museum of Natural and Cultural History.

Orcutt, now an assistant professor of biology at Gonzaga University, was going through cabinets when he came across a lower arm bone labeled “felidae” — the scientific word for cat. The specimen was discovered in the 1950s and had been collecting dust in the basement cabinet for decades.

“John saw it and was like, ‘No way. That’s way too big, that’s not right,’” says Jonathan Calede, Orcutt’s office mate at the time who would later co-author a research paper about the cat with Orcutt.

Because of its size, Orcutt initially thought the bone might have belonged to a rhino or a bear. But upon closer inspection, Orcutt realized the bone might belong to a previously undiscovered species of saber-toothed cat.

Over the next few years, Orcutt found more large cat bones at other universities that further cemented his hunch. In 2017, Orcutt and a team of three graduate students revisited the field site in Eastern Oregon where the bone in the museum collection had been discovered. In a stroke of luck, the first bone they found was an arm bone that belonged to the same large cat species.

“I knew in a second exactly what it was,” Orcutt says.

“It’s a dead ringer in almost every way.”

Calede helped Orcutt run a quantitative analysis comparing the bones with other, previously discovered saber-toothed species. In May 2021, the pair published a paper outlining their findings and confirming Orcutt’s

18 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

JOHN ORCUTT hunch from more than a decade ago: There’s a new cat in town, and it’s name is Machairodus lahayishipup.

The first part of the name comes from the Greek word “dagger teeth” and identifies the genus that includes a half-dozen other saber-toothed cat species. For help coining the second part of the name, Orcutt turned to the Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Indian Reservation upon whose traditional lands some of the bones were found. “Lahayishipup” is a compound of the words “ancient” and “wildcat” in the Old Cayuse language.

One of the most striking things about the cat is its size. The average M. lahayishipup weighed about 600 pounds. The largest bone analyzed by the pair belonged to a cat that was around 900 pounds, placing it among the largest cats in recorded history.

“When John was talking to me about where he was going with that project, even before I was involved in it myself, it was very clear: They’re huge,” Calede says.

“You’re like, ‘Oh, that’s a very, very large cat. It shouldn’t be the size of a bear. What’s going on?’”

Saber-toothed cats have been discovered before in

North America, but the majority are from the last million or so years. The species documented by Orcutt and Calede is from 5 million to 9 million years ago.

Saber-toothed cats earned their name and reputation from lengthy, dagger-like front teeth, but Orcutt says there’s debate in the scientific community about what those teeth were actually used for.

“The teeth are really long, but they’re also really narrow and surprisingly brittle. So it seems unlikely that they were slicing into mammoth underbellies with those teeth, because you’re asking for trouble if you do that,” Orcutt says.

So instead of using their sabers to attack, Orcutt says saber-toothed cats may have instead used their beefy forearms to grapple with prey — sort of like how a modern house cat plays with a toy. Once the prey was restrained, the cat would have used the sabers to deliver the killing blow and slit the animal’s throat.

“They are the final straw on the camel’s neck,” says Calede.

Camels were common in North America in M. lahayishipup’s time, and these grazers had reason to fear the big saber-tooths. Rhinos and giant ground sloths were also probably on the menu, Calede says. Because of the cat’s large arms, the scientists think the cat was an ambush predator who stalked prey until it was close enough to pounce.

Orcutt says that if he could travel back in time and see M. lahayishipup in person, he would be most interested in observing how the cat hunted. Did it roam in packs like the modern lion? Or was it more of a solo predator like a cougar?

Calede takes a more pragmatic view: If he were able to observe the cat in the wild, he would be most interested in finding a place to hide and not get eaten. n

BETTER THAN A CLONE What if you could replicate the perfect goat and help feed the world?

Inside WSU’s goat barn.

DANIEL WALTERS PHOTO

BY DANIEL WALTERS

I

magine the perfect goat. And yes, let’s acknowledge that contemporary beauty standards for goats may vary depending on the culture. But generally, go with us here.

A perfect goat grows up fast. A perfect goat resists disease. A perfect goat generates muscle mass efficiently.

A perfect goat doesn’t take as much food, water or antibiotics to get ready to be slaughtered for food.

Everyone wants to breed a perfect goat to breed almost-perfect kids. Just one great male goat can transform a whole herd. The problem is that there’s not a lot of good goats to go around.

But in Pullman, there are a few perfect — or at least pretty great — goats bleating in their pens at the goat barn at Washington State University as researcher Jon Oatley explains the revolutionary innovations these goats have unlocked.

What WSU did was to figure out a way to effectively snag a perfect goat’s genes, and hack the DNA of another male goat so that it too fathers another perfect kid.

“We can take that one male, and we can essentially carbon-copy him 100 to 1,000 fold,” Oatley says.

To be clear, it’s not a clone. Clones are expensive, and riddled with the DNA problems that come from “all the crazy things you were exposed to in adulthood,” Oatley says. It’s better than a clone.

Effectively, WSU extracts the genetic code from one elite goat and cuts and pastes it into a ton of other goats, forcing those goats to produce the offspring of the elite goat.

“We go into his testicles, and pull out the spermproducing stem cells,” Oatley says.

Then they transfer the stem cells of the elite goat and inject it into the testicles of another goat. And if that other goat is a normal goat, well, nothing happens; a normal goat already makes its own run-of-the-mill hoh-hum goat sperm.

“Those micro environments are already occupied. If we introduce new cells, they don’t have anywhere to go,” Oatley says. “So we have to get rid of the ones that are already there in order to introduce new ones.”

That’s where the really fancy science comes in.

“We have to make these surrogate males that don’t make their own sperm,” Oatley says.

WSU figured out the exact string of genetic code that allows a goat to produce sperm. By using a genetic editing tool called CRISPR, they’re able to knock out the section of code in the single cell of a goat embryo. That

embryo grows into a goat that’s unable to produce sperm.

“They have testicles, just like a normal animal,” Oatley says. “But they just lack the cells that make sperm.”

Inject the elite goat sperm stem cells into the spermless goats, and the stem cells automatically graft into the missing space.

“We try to do it as early after birth as possible, so that the introducing-donor’s stem cell is growing up with the animal as it matures,” Oatley says.

By the time it matures, the goat starts pumping out sperm containing the elite goat’s DNA sperm. Theoretically, a goat in Asia could start producing offspring with the genetic material of an elite goat that’s never left the shores of the United States.

And there’s another benefit: Knock out the sperm genes in both female chromosomes and just one male chromosome, and through the magic of genetics, start creating a unique line JON OATLEY of goats. Some of the offspring are spermless surrogate goats, with the empty slot in their genetic code that can be filled by a better goat, while others are able to have kids, but some of their offspring don’t produce sperm.

By now, it’s not a new technique.

“We’ve done it with goats, we’ve done it with pigs, we’ve done it with cattle, we’ve done it with mice,” Oatley says. Not only is WSU a leader in this technique, nobody else is doing it. Oatley suspects that researchers in other labs haven’t figured out which part of the genes eliminates sperm production.

There are many commercial opportunities: They could sell the surrogate goats that produce elite goat children directly. Or they could sell access to the goat breeding program, working with a rancher to create a custom elite goat breeding program.

Eventually, WSU is hoping they could even grow the goat sperm stem cells in a lab.

“You can get those isolated sperm stem cells to amplify by a millionfold,” Oatley imagines. “So now we have an abundance of cells that we can then transplant and transfer.”

They’ve done it with cows and pigs, but not yet with goats.

Oately acknowledges that messing with genetics this way can bring up some genuine ethical questions. But the impacts can be profound, he says.

“We’re doing it because we’re trying to address food insecurity. Right? How can we get meat to people more effectively?” Oatley says. “How can we address malnourishment, lack of access to food, all these things?”

A goat that can grow faster and take up less food is a goat that is less costly and has less of an impact on the environment. That’s particularly important, considering livestock can be a huge contributor to global warming. It could even reduce the controversial use of hormones in livestock.

“The reason that we use hormones is to overcome bad genes,” Oatley says. Start with great genes, and hormones are unnecessary.

Of course, there are ways that repeatedly seeding the world with one set of goat DNA could backfire. Without enough genetic diversity, a disease that would otherwise impact just a few goats could become a worldwide livestock pandemic.

It means that WSU has to use its power judiciously, Oatley says. Instead of just copying one ideal goat, they copy dozens. And they would need to track exactly where each line of elite goats is located to make sure there isn’t an overabundance of one type or another.

Could, theoretically, this same technology be used with humans? Could we, say, create a whole army of LeBron James-children to make the world’s most unstoppable AAU team?

“Can we do CRISPR modifications with humans?”

Oatley says. “Yeah, we can. And people have with human embryos, and it causes a lot of controversy.”

The big ethical question with genetic modification is about intent. Modifying DNA to cure a genetic disease?

That’s a pretty good moral justification.

“If it’s doing it for performance traits, to make somebody have more muscle mass or be taller, be faster, whatever, that, in my opinion, is unethical,” Oatley says.

“I tell people that I train in the lab: Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. I think everybody has their own moral-ethical compass they have to go on.” n

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 19

THEATER

Snapshots of the Female Experience

Lindsey Teter (left) works with director Dawn Taylor Reinhardt on Stays, one part of Stage Left’s Empower production.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Stage Left’s new show, Empower, is an all-female production highlighting the wide range of what empowerment can mean

BY LILLIAN PIEL

T

he name of Stage Left Theater’s newest show is fitting, to say the least. Titled Empower, it features a compilation of 10 original one-person plays, all written, performed and directed by women.

The playwrights featured in Empower, premiering online Saturday, are from around the world, with the directors and actors all hailing from the greater Spokane area. Each play was inspired by the boudoir photography of Crystal Madsen, a local photographer, and topics of the plays range from female sexuality to feminism to body positivity.

The idea for Empower was born out of a meeting with Madsen, Stage Left Artistic Director Jeremy Whit-

20 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

tington and Matthew Weaver, a local playwright and a friend of Crystal’s from high school who first wanted to create a project that blended her photography and theater.

Madsen said the original idea was to present a photo from her wedding photography to playwrights as a prompt to write a 10-minute play. However, when Whittington asked her about her passion, she spoke about her boudoir photography.

At first, Madsen said she was unsure about making boudoir the focus of the project since it is on the risqué side. But Whittington was excited about the idea, and from there it blossomed into an all-woman production

with Madsen as executive producer.

Madsen gave the playwrights a sampling of boudoir photos, and a wide range of reasons why women came to her to shoot boudoir that she culled from reviews and what women told her, she says.

“I get super emotional over my boudoir work because I get to see these women come in and find a new level of confidence and a different level of power that they haven’t felt before or they haven’t felt in a very long time, and being able to be trusted in that type of intimate setting to help them find that again is just an honor that I can’t even describe,” Madsen says. ...continued on page 22

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The stream of Empower premieres Saturday night.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“SNAPSHOTS OF THE FEMALE EXPERIENCE,” CONTINUED...

Joy Wood, front of house manager for Stage women and art.

Left and the producer and production manager for “They’re very female- and everythingEmpower, says that there are many different reasons inclusive, so the idea that we have a whole thing people have given for why they want to do bouthat’s all female playwrights and female direcdoir photo shoots, and every reason is valid and tors speaks to the fact that Stage Left, they have beautiful. Empower is not just a show about boutheir ears in the right spots,” Allen says. “They doir photography, she says, but it is a show based are hearing what’s happening in the world, and on the images of real women and the underlying I think that they celebrate the diversity and they feelings evoked when the images are viewed. celebrate the strength of women.”

When the show was first teased on Stage Rebecca Craven, a local actor who plays Left’s Facebook page, Wood said it caused Rhonda in Allen’s play, also spoke to the way some people to question the show and question Empower has brought together women from all whether it was pushing the envelope. But Wood areas of the theater. It is not as common to see says Empower does not need any explaining, and women in the role of director, or playwright, or that it doesn’t tell the audience what empowertech, she says. ment should or should not be.

The turnaround between rehearsing and “It doesn’t give the answers, it doesn’t even filming was quick. After reading through the really ask the questions — it just script and discussing with the puts things out there, and it opens playwright and director about WEEKEND up the conversation so you can ask what they had in mind for the C O U N T D OW N the questions, and you can come play, Craven had only two or Get the scoop on this up with the answers, and you can three rehearsals before filming weekend’s events with talk about it, and it’s just there, and Rhonda. our newsletter. Sign up at it’s raw and it’s real,” Wood says.

“I think it is so supportive Inlander.com/newsletter.

Each play in Empower was of Stage Left to provide this sort filmed separately, and the 10 shows of venue … and to show what will be edited into a collective show, in a similar we’re capable of and put it out there with their style to Stage Left’s Masterpiece Monologue support, so it’s been really great to be a part of series produced over the course of the pandemic. it,” Craven said.

Wood says she is unsure what sequence the plays Empowerment looks different for everyone, will appear in, but since they are 10 separate which is important to recognize, Wood says. She pieces without a beginning, middle or end, their knows that people will feel however they want arrangement could influence audience members’ about the show and that Empower is putting stofeelings about the show. ries out there and starting a conversation.

One of the plays in Empower was written by “This is what this time in history is about, Molly Allen, the resident playwright at Stage you know; it’s not ‘this is empowering, and this Left. Her show, titled Rhonda, is about a woman is what all women should do,’ it’s just about the whose husband buys her a boudoir photoshoot freedom to choose,” Wood says. n session, which leaves her wondering what the meaning of the gift is.

Empower • Premiering Sat, June 26 at 7 pm, Allen said Rhonda is a comedy and one of available to stream anytime thereafter • Free • the lighter plays in the show, and that Empower Streaming on Vimeo, visit stagelefttheater.org is just one example of Stage Left celebrating or facebook.com/stagelefttheater for the link

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CULTURE | DIGEST

THE BUZZ BIN

SUMMER SPRINTS

A Black Lady Sketch Show

Six short series you can stream this summer

BY BILL FROST

S

ummer’s arrived and you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to watch TV — I’m an active, thriving human with months of outdoor fun ahead of me!” Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

I’m taking it easy on couch slugs who might actually leave the house this summer by keeping it short.

Several TV series premiered over the winter and spring with truncated runs — that means fewer episodes, not a gastrointestinal vaccine side-effect — which can be consumed quickly before you peel yourself off the sofa.

Here are six recent series with a dozen episodes or less to check out before you inexplicably trade the airconditioned bliss of home for the sun-scorched hell of “summer fun.” I mean, get out there, ’Merica!

A BLACK LADY SKETCH SHOW (SEASONS 1-2 ON HBO MAX) It’s not an ironic name: A Black Lady Sketch Show is produced by, written by, and stars black women exclusively, including series creator Robin Thede, a long-overlooked comic force now running her own show. ABLSS’ sketches take the Black perspectives of Chappelle’s Show and Key & Peele to a new, female-centric level, and already have an instant-classic character in Thede’s Dr. Haddassah Olayinka Ali-Youngman, a “hertep” philosopher with no fear (or discernable point). Coincidentally, the show takes place at the End of the World (too soon?).

RUTHERFORD FALLS (SEASON 1 ON PEACOCK) Nathan Rutherford (Ed Helms) is obsessed with keeping his founding family’s legacy alive in the small town of Rutherford Falls; the local Minishonka Nation has bigger plans than dwelling on ancient white land-grabbers. The sweetly hilarious and complicated friendship between Nathan and Reagan Wells (Jana Shmieding) is the heart of Rutherford Falls, which subtly addresses Native American relations and, not so subtly, monuments to problematic colonizers (the town statue of founder “Big Larry” Rutherford is a progress roadblock and literal traffic hazard).

THE EQUALIZER (SEASON 1 ON PARAMOUNT+) The original ’80s Equalizer TV series was no great shakes, nor were Denzel Washington’s 2014 and 2018 movies. Likewise, CBS’ 2021 reboot is a glossy airball

24 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

that’s cheesier than a boatload of gouda wheels — and yet somehow, this Equalizer just works. Robin McCall (Queen Latifah) is a former — wait for it — special forces agent who deals out vigilante justice, aided by a married-couple hacker (Adam Goldberg) and sniper (Liza Lapira). How is this lavish, high-tech operation funded? Why can’t the cops catch her? Who cares?

The Equalizer coasts on cast charisma alone.

THE NEVERS (SEASON 1 ON HBO MAX) Created by Joss Whedon (who’s since left the show for “personal reasons,” riiight), The Nevers is a visual feast of Victorian-era steampunk anarchy with a killer, nimbletongued cast — so where’s the hype? Amalia True (Laura Donnelly) runs a sanctuary for The Touched, people with “extraordinary powers” (like witches, or X-Men) not fully accepted in 1899 London — she’s also exceedingly adept at drinking, fighting and screwing.

Season 1 of The Nevers cements a universe over five episodes, only to blow it up in the sixth. Brace for impact.

CHAD (SEASON 1 ON TBS) Not only did Nasim Pedrad (New Girl, Saturday Night Live) create, write and produce Chad, she also completely transforms her 30-something self into the titular 14-year-old Persian boy — let’s see “brave” Kate Winslet pull that off. Chad is so desperate to fit in with the cool kids during his first year of high school that he’s an insufferable dickhead to his friends, family and anyone in his path (so, typical 14-year-old boy). Pedrad pushes the cringe envelope to the limit, not so much creating comedy as inflicting it. Curb Your Enthusiasm has met its uncomfortable match.

RESIDENT ALIEN (SEASON 1 ON PEACOCK) An alien who was on a mission to wipe out human life on Earth crash-lands in a small Colorado town and assumes the identity/body of local doctor Harry Vanderspeigle (Alan Tudyk). The new “Harry’s” awkward attempts at being human somehow allow him to blend in, and Tudyk’s bizarro-virtuoso performance absolutely sells the alien’s intentions, both good and malevolent (he’s still going to destroy humankind, even though he enjoys most people … and whiskey).

Also woven into Resident Alien is a murder mystery and Ancient Aliens’ Giorgio A. Tsoukalos (!!). n

STRANGE WILDERNESS Whether or not you believe in Bigfoot, the Hulu documentary series Sasquatch is bound to suck you in with its outlandish story of hippies, drug dealers, brutal murders and, yes, a mythical woodland creature. Here’s the hook: Investigative journalist David Holthouse recalls working at a Northern California weed farm in the early ’90s, where a string of strange incidents, including some grisly killings, were attributed to a Sasquatch lurking in the woods. In his mission to discover if his memory is accurate, Holthouse finds actual answers, but they invariably blend fact with folklore. The saga ends on something of a minor note, but it at least has the good sense to last merely three episodes. (NATHAN WEINBENDER)

WHAT YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT STONEWALL Tune into podcast You’re Wrong About to get schooled on what really went down in historical events shaped to fit the dominant narrative in America, while at the same time feeling like you’re untangling a mystery.

Each episode features extensive research and interviews with experts, with some playful banter mixed in. A personal favorite episode is “The Stonewall Uprising” on the event that comes to mind for many when LGBTQ+ rights are brought up. It’s fascinating listening to hosts Mike Hobbes and Sarah Marshall explain how Stonewall remains debated because it is the only piece of LGBTQ+ history typically recognized by straight people and learning about the many factors that led to the uprising. You can find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Stitcher. (LILLIAN PIEL)

THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST There’s noteworthy new music arriving in stores and online June 25. To wit: HISS GOLDEN MESSENGER, Quietly Blowing It. It’s beyond time we made Hiss bandleader M.C. Taylor a star, America.

LUCY DACUS, Home Video. Her last album was one of the best of 2018, and early songs bode well for this one.

MODEST MOUSE, The Golden Casket.

Seems like a perfect band for that new Pavilion music venue. Just sayin’.

(DAN NAILEN)

OPENING

CREPE CREATIONS

Crepe Cafe Sisters’ No Borders savory crepe.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

Sweet and savory crepes make a new Kendall Yards cafe popular for brunch or anytime

BY CHEY SCOTT

H

ave it your way at the recently opened Crepe Cafe Sisters, where sweet and savory crepes are made fresh right in front of you in mesmerizing

fashion.

The fast cooking process starts with a ladleful of batter poured in the center of a large, circular, flat-topped burner. Next, the cook smooths the liquid pool out to cover the burner’s full circumference using a specialized wooden tool called a crepe spreader. The ultrathin pancakes cook fast, and after a well-practiced flip with another wooden tool resembling a wide ruler, any desired fillings are added. Crepes served with toppings are left plain at this stage, but both versions are folded into a layered triangle shape — first in half, then in thirds — before coming off the burner.

Owners Ashley Sadaoui and Jessica Moon are the sisters behind Crepe Cafe Sisters. The duo realized their

dream of finally opening a permanent storefront in May, six years after purchasing the business in 2015 from a family acquaintance.

“We had zero restaurant experience,” at the time of the takeover, Sadaoui says, though she and Moon had long envisioned owning a business together.

“Honestly, the restaurant fell into our laps, but the reason why we stayed in it and love it so much is the people we get to interact with every day,” she continues.

“It’s a joy to serve them and create an atmosphere where people can congregate and get to know each other.”

Until this spring, the crepe cafe had operated solely as a pop-up vendor at area farmers markets and events.

The sisters are continuing this mobile extension of the business — they upgraded from a tent setup to a food trailer last year — and can be found weekly this season at farmers markets in Spokane Valley, Liberty Lake and

Kendall Yards.

“We added the trailer in January 2020, which was tough because it was right before the pandemic, but it was also a blessing because it allowed us to have daily locations to be open and operating,” Sadaoui says.

At the stationary Crepe Cafe Sisters location on Kendall Yards’ west end, the sisters expanded their offerings of sweet and savory crepes beyond what’s available from the trailer (menus for each location are posted on the cafe’s website). Gluten-free and vegan crepes also became possible with the larger new kitchen.

One of the most popular new crepes added to the Kendall Yards menu so far is the Kickin’ Chicken ($12), filled with shredded chicken breast, cheddar and cream cheese, and topped with hot honey and gochujang barbecue sauce. ...continued on next page

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 25

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On the sweet side, Sadaoui says both employees and customers are loving the Honey Bee ($7). That crepe is simple, with a peanut butter and honey drizzle, but fruit or other toppings can be added.

Crepe creations that became popular while the cafe was exclusively mobile, and which continue to be top sellers, include A Bebe ($7), topped with fresh blueberries and house-made lemon curd, and the Oinker ($9), filled with shredded hickory-smoked ham and melted cheddar.

“We named [A Bebe] after the previous owners’ son, who couldn’t say blueberry and called them ‘bebes,’” Sadaoui says.

Crepe Cafe Sisters’ batter is simple: milk, canola oil, salt, flour and eggs.

“A big thing that draws people to our crepes is the batter, and this is coming from years of customer feedback,” Sadaoui says.

“We don’t put any sugar in our batter, which surprises people, but you can literally have one of our crepes with nothing on it and it tastes amazing.”

The Inlander is seeking a part-time, entry-level graphic designer to join our production team.

If you’re a designer with a clear understanding of design fundamentals who is proficient in the Adobe Suite, send your resume and portfolio to design@inlander.com.

ENTRY-LEVEL SALES REPRESENTATIVE WANTED The Inland Northwest is coming back, and so is the Inlander! We have a rare opportunity for the right person to join our sales team at the entry level. We’re looking for promising candidates who can help us prospect new business, manage some accounts and support the larger sales team.

This is a great place to start your career in media sales. Experience is always preferred, but we will consider those looking to make a career change or new college grads looking for a start in the professional world.

Get ready to work hard, juggle busy days and hit deadlines and goals. Our headquarters is right in Kendall Yards, and you’ll learn from the best sales team in the region. You’ll also be part of our company’s mission to support local businesses as they work to build back from the pandemic — helping the region rebound, too. Please send a cover letter and resume to hr@inlander.com.

S

Cafe owners and sisters Ashley Sadaoui (left) and Jessica Moon.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

ince opening in mid-May, Crepe Cafe Sisters has been much busier than expected.

“The weekends are honestly crazy busy — we never expected to be that busy on the weekends,” Sadaoui says. “People always ask ‘What are your slow times on the weekends?’ but honestly there isn’t a slow time. We have people filtering in and out all day Saturday and Sunday.”

Even with an exponential rise in traffic at the new cafe, the sisters say operating both it and their food trailer has been a smoother transition than anticipated.

“This makes it so much more conducive because we can prep all the ingredients at the storefront and don’t have to share a kitchen anymore,” Sadaoui says. “That’s been a lifesaver.”

Additional employees are still needed to ensure the cafe and trailer can meet a higher volume, and so that Crepe Cafe Sisters can expand its catering service, a frequent request from customers.

Inside the new space, large communal tables and a long bartop, plus a corner booth, make for a cozy, country kitchen feel.

Plexiglass barriers along the counter offer an unobstructed view of crepes being made fresh to order.

“Crepes are an experience for us just as much for customers,” Sadaoui says. “We want you to see how we create it. People really like seeing their food made right in front of them.”

A spacious patio wrapping around the building offers extra seating in warm weather, and Olmsted Green park across the street is a popular spot for customers to take their crepes to-go when the cafe is busy.

“That is a huge perk for our location,” Sadaoui says. “Even if we are packed inside or on the patio, there is the park, and it’s still an enjoyable place to eat your crepes.” n Crepe Cafe Sisters • 441 N. Nettleton St. • Open Tue-Sun 8 am-4 pm • crepecafesisters.com • 509-991-7532

26 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

Dom does dumb and does it well.

ANALYSIS

The Dumb and the Reckless The smartest thing the Fast and Furious franchise ever did was become gloriously stupid

BY DANIEL WALTERS

I

t all comes down to a thrilling vehicular showdown with a ruthless villain at an arctic base. With a clock ticking and the threat of a weapon of mass destruction looming, our hero races an absurdly modified classic car on a frozen lake, contending with assault rifle-wielding snowmobilers and enemy vehicles firing rockets.

I’m referring, of course, to a sequence in Die Another Day, widely considered one of the worst James Bond movies of all time, when Pierce Brosnan’s Bond rushes to save Halle Berry from a melting ice palace in Iceland.

But I’m also referring, of course, to the climax of Fate of the Furious, the eighth installment of the Fast and Furious franchise, when Vin Diesel’s crew faces off against a nuclear submarine on a separatist military base in Russia.

But that sequence works where the Bond scene fails.

There are dozens of reasons why, but many of them boil down to this: Die Another Day thinks it’s a Smart Movie.

When Brosnan, the suavest and smuggest Bond, hits the ejection seat button to pop his Aston Martin back upright — and dodge a missile — the movie practically cocks its eyebrow over a martini to brag about how oh-so-clever it is. The fact that the sequence is so dumb makes it all the more painful, like listening to a tone deaf singer who thinks he’s a karaoke star.

The Fate of the Furious scene also has a car dodging a missile — Diesel, chased by a heat-seeking missile in his Dodge Charger, jumps over a nuclear submarine, and leaps clear of the explosion — and is even dumber.

But the Fate of the Furious knows it’s a Dumb Movie.

It embraces it, with a climax that also includes skiing on a torpedo and tobogganing on a Lamborghini door.

Ludicrous is what the series does best.

So when in the series’ newest installment, F9 (opening this weekend), Vin Diesel crosses a chasm by driving on to the cable of a missing bridge, it’s exactly the sort of dumb that the series does best.

After all, dumb doesn’t mean artless. Making a great Dumb Movie requires craft. It’s as much about aesthetics as it is action. Where a Smart Movie seeks sophistication and subtlety, a Dumb Movie is all about being ballsy and brash. A good Dumb Movie relies on broad archetypal characters who either chew the scenery or blow it to smithereens.

Con Air? A wonderful Dumb Movie, right down to Nicholas Cage’s mullet. The Mission: Impossible franchise?

All near-perfect Smart Movies, except for Mission: Impossible II, which is a terrible Dumb Movie.

But above all, a great Dumb Movie has got to be fast and it’s got to be furious. That was the problem with early entrees in the Fast and Furious franchise. Despite the promise of the title, 2 Fast, 2 Furious was far too slow and placid.

The franchise only truly gathered enough speed with its fifth entry, when Fast Five airlifted in a 6-foot-5, 260-pound behemoth of muscle, a titan chiseled from a mountain of pure charisma.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, is such an iconic action movie star that he has the title of another iconic action movie in the middle of his name. By combining Johnson and Diesel, an unstoppable force multiplied by an unstoppable force, Fast Five builds up serious momentum. The faster the Fast and Furious franchise goes, the more it piles

on the absurd, the more it breaks free from the shackles of believability, the more you suspend your belief, the more the movies soar with it.

Consider Fast Five’s climactic heist. A Mission: Impossible movie heist sequence wants to suspend you in suspense, to make you sweat over every errant drop of sweat. But the heist in Fast Five is a comic subversion of the concept of stealth: It doesn’t open the bank vault, it rips it from its foundations of the police station, and turns it into a wrecking ball that demolishes cop cars and store fronts through the streets of Rio. Drop Tom Cruise in a Middle Eastern skyscraper, and a Mission:Impossible movie delivers an immaculately storyboarded high-wire sequence, one that ratchets up the tension as taut as the line that Cruise is dangling from. Drop Vin Diesel in a Middle Eastern skyscraper, and he drives through the window, flies through the air, and smashes through the window of another skyscraper.

And it’s totally awesome.

And our hero is fine, of course. Diesel can plummet off a cliff and brush off the ensuing car wreck, like Wile E. Coyote accordioning back into shape after being crushed by an anvil.

So try to find plot holes if you want. Nitpick about the infinite airstrip runway length of Fast & Furious 6 or the airspeed velocity of an unladen bank vault. But you sound like you’re tut-tutting Space Jam for not adhering to the rules of NBA playbook.

This is a series where The Rock removes the cast from his broken arm by simply flexing his bicep, like he’s ...continued on next page

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 27

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OPENING F9 THE FAST SAGA

The long-awaited ninth episode finally hits theaters, bringing Vin Diesel’s Dom back into action to foil a plot hatched by his long-forsaken brother Jakob (John Cena). (DN) PG-13

LANSKY

Legendary mobster Meyer Lansky (Har-

vey Keitel) wants to tell his story as the FBI closes in, and hits up a down on his luck writer (Sam Worthington) to share his violent past. At the Magic Lantern.

(DN) Rated R

TOVE

A biopic of Finnish painter Tove Jansson tracks how her unconventional approach to life pushed back at her father’s staid ways and led to a creative outburst that included writing, comic

strips, illustrations and more. At the Magic Lantern. (DN) Not rated

WEREWOLVES WITHIN

A new forest ranger (Sam Richardson) and postal worker (Milana Vayntrub) try to uncover the mystery of a creature terrorizing the small town of Beaverfield as the town’s residents are trapped together by a snowstorm in this comedy/mystery. (DN) Rated R

NOW PLAYING

12 MIGHTY ORPHANS

Luke Wilson plays a high school football coach who turns a ragtag team from a Texas orphanage into Texas state champions in this inspirational tale inspired by a true story. (DN) Rated PG-13

THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT

The latest chiller about supposed paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, investigating a murder suspect who claims to be possessed by a demon. (NW) Rated R

CRUELLA

Disney’s puppy-skinning villainess gets her own origin story, as Emma Stone portrays the enterprising seamstress turned devilish fashionista. (NW) Rated PG-13

DEMON SLAYER THE MOVIE: MUGEN TRAIN

A feature-length follow-up to the popular anime series, which has already broken box-office records in its native Japan. (NW) Rated R

GODZILLA VS. KONG

Like Batman and Superman before them, cinema’s most famous giant ape and radioactive lizard duke it out while the world watches. Also streaming on HBO Max. (NW) Rated PG-13

THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD

Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are an odd couple hitman and bodyguard combo back for another actionpacked adventure, this time with Salma Hayek in the mix as a world-class con

RITA MORENO: JUST A GIRL WHO DECIDED TO GO FOR IT

artist. (DN) Rated R

IN THE HEIGHTS

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Bronx-set musical hits the big screens under the direction of John Chu (Crazy Rich Asians), tracking a bodega owner’s dreams of forging a better life in a neighborhood full of colorful characters (and a whole lot of music). (DN) Rated PG-13

PETER RABBIT 2: THE RUNAWAY

Here comes a Peter Rabbit sequel in which the mischievous rodent finds a place beyond the garden where he’s accepted for his roguish charm. Is that enough to keep him from going home?

(DN). Rated PG

QUEEN BEES

Think Mean Girls, but set in a retirement home instead of a high school.

Ellen Burstyn is the newbie trying to navigate romantic pitfalls and interpersonal politics, joined by AnnMargret, James Caan, Jane Curtin and more. At the Magic Lantern. (DN) Rated PG-13

A QUIET PLACE PART II

A sequel to the hugely popular 2018 horror hit, following the original film’s family as they continue to evade monsters with hypersensitive hearing. (NW) Rated PG-13

RAYA & THE LAST DRAGON

A Disney animated feature centers a multicultural fable that follows a teenage warrior’s hunt for the titular creature. Also on Disney+. (NW) Rated PG

A documentary dedicated to the Puerto Rican actress who rose to Oscar-winning glory and success on the Broadway stage. At the Magic Lantern. (DN) Rated PG-13

SHIVA BABY

College senior Danielle unexpectedly runs into her sugar daddy sex buddy while sitting shiva at her parents house in this film festival favorite. At the Magic Lantern. (DN) Not rated

THE SPARKS BROTHERS

An exhaustive documentary about the Los Angeles cult band that everyone loves, but few seem to know about, directed by Edgar Wright (Baby Driver).

(DN) Rated R

SPIRAL

The new chapter in the Saw franchise stars Chris Rock as a cop investigating a series of murders that follow the same M.O. as the crafty serial killer Jigsaw.

(NW) Rated R

SPIRIT UNTAMED

A young girl befriends a rebellious horse named Spirit after moving to a small town, and must foil the bad guys’ plans to capture Spirit and his herd in this animated family flick featuring the voices of Julianne Moore and Jake Gyllenhaal. (DN) Rated PG

WRATH OF MAN

The latest thriller from Guy Ritchie stars Jason Statham as a shadowy figure who becomes the guard of an armored truck. (NW) Rated R n

“THE DUMB AND THE RECKLESS,” CONTINUED...

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28 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

Johnny Bravo or something. Die Hard couldn’t get away with that. But somehow this franchise takes what is basically a Cartoon Network gag and turns itinto a scene that makes audiences cheer.

If there’s anything in this series that seems uninspired — at least at first glance — it’s the dialogue. It doesn’t have the Joss Whedon-y pop-culture quips of Marvel movies or the Shane Black snark of the Lethal Weapon series or even the puckish puns of the Bond flicks. Instead, the Fast and Furious flicks are filled with almost all of the sort of generic chest-thumping machismo banter you’d hear from bros on a Call of Duty Twitch stream. (“Ride or die!” “Not good!” “Hell yeah!” “Just like old times!”)

When Diesel delivers his umpteenth varia-

tion of “I don’t have friends, I got family,” it’s corny, cheesy stuff, delivered with the deep gravitas of a movie that feels it’s the most insightful thing in the world.

Yet it works here, right down to how the word choice shifts from the grammatically correct “have” in the first half, to the more blue-collar “got” in the second half. It’s maybe the one part of the crazy series that feels real.

It’s as heartfelt as when a high school coach addresses the whole team at Godfather’s Pizza after their final game of the season, choking up about how much the guys meant to him. It works not because it’s an eloquent speech — it’s not clever, or particularly profound — but because it’s not one. It’s straight from its big, dumb heart. n danielw@inlander.com

Jenny Don’t and the Spurs are such a hot band, this snow melted shortly after this photo was taken.

MICHEAL PICKING PHOTO

LIVE

Shows of the Week A couple of taste-expanding treats drop by the Inland Northwest for shows this week

BY DAN NAILEN

L

ive music is fast becoming a regular entertainment option after months of us all leading lives that were way too quiet. This week, there are a couple of touring acts worth your consideration hitting the region on both sides of the Washington/Idaho border.

JENNY DON’T AND THE SPURS

It wasn’t until the Inlander booked this Portland cowpunk crew for Volume a few years ago (a gig scratched due to a finicky van leaving the band stranded in Eastern Oregon) that I became familiar with what has become one of my Jenny Don’t and the favorite Northwest bands.

Spurs • Sat, June 26 Lead singer Jenny Don’t at 8 pm • $15 • 21+ • has a rodeo roping backBerserk Bar • 125 S. ground and love for classic Stevens • facebook.com/ country that she shared with berserkbarspokane • Kelly Halliburton (formerly of 509-315-5101 Pierced Arrows), and the duo went about putting together a roots-rock band that could deliver their retro-tinged originals and covers by the likes of Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, Earnest Tubb and Hank Williams. Rounded out by drummer Sam Henry (ex-The Wipers) and guitarist

Christopher March, Jenny Don’t and the Spurs have spent the better part of the past decade touring like crazy and delivering rock-solid albums of energetic honky tonk tunes like those that fill their new release Fire on the Ridge.

New songs like “California Cowboy” and “Train Ticket” have the authentic feel of old-school country and some punk attitude, and are sure to get your boots scootin’ at their live show, whether those are cowboy boots or Doc Martens.

IGOR AND THE RED ELVISES

Igor Yuzov grew up in the Soviet Union as a child and developed into a pretty mean folk musician, eventually leading a folk band called Limpopo. Even as that band grew Igor and the Red popular, Yuzov secretly started Elvises • Wed, obsessing over rock ’n’ roll deJune 30 at 8 pm spite it’s being largely forbidden.

• $20 • All-ages He moved Limpopo to America • Crown & Thistle in the ’80s and soon started Pub • 107 N. 4th a new band with some fellow St., Coeur d’Alene Soviet expats, exploring the rock • facebook.com/ sounds he loved. Now called the crownandthistlepub Red Elvises, the band created a • 208-758-8357

high-energy blend of classic American rock riffs and some of his traditional Russian folk background, and delivered live shows that were thrilling, exciting both the band and their fans. I saw the band nearly 20 years ago and never forgot what a blast they were. Igor’s old friends from the band moved on, and he’s backed by a new crew of Red Elvises as the band celebrates its 25th anniversary with a tour across the U.S., including a North Idaho stop.

They bring an outsized personality to rooms large and small, and an opportunity to see Igor in action is not to be missed. n

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 29

COMMUNITY HEAD NORTH

Small-town living in the Inland Northwest is on full display every summer, when the region’s outlying communities open up the gates and invite visitors near and far to see and celebrate all they have to offer. Among these many community festivals is this weekend’s 71st annual Newport Rodeo & Festival, a twoday event that’s capped off by traditional rodeo showcases each evening. During the day, a community vendor and food fair offers more than 100 booths to explore and shop at, along with family-friendly activities like face painting, balloon artists and more. There’s also a parade through town on Saturday morning at 11 am, live music each afternoon and a chance to meet this year’s Newport Rodeo queen, Leana Newman.

— CHEY SCOTT Newport Rodeo & Festival • Fri, June 25 from 1-9 pm and Sat, June 26 from 12-9 pm • Rodeo tickets $8/kids; $18/ adults • Newport Rodeo Grounds • 1101 W. First St. • newportrodeo.com

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Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

30 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

OUTDOORS MIMOSA MORNINGS

Summer on the sprawling patio just east of Brick West Brewing on downtown’s west end is in full swing, with live music, yoga and more starting to fill up the calendar. Among those many event series, Yoga & Mimosas continues this weekend led by instructors from the Union fitness studio, which just added another location in the neighborhood. Spend a sunny summer morning with some relaxing vinyasa flow yoga (don’t forget to bring your own mat and water), followed by a refreshing mimosa with your choice of juice.

Make sure to register in advance, as class space is limited. More sessions are already scheduled throughout summer if you can’t make it this week; those are coming up on July 11, Aug. 8 and Aug. 22, all starting at 10 am.

— CHEY SCOTT The Union Presents: Yoga & Mimosas • Sun, June 27 at 10 am • $20 • 21+ • Brick West Brewing Co. • 1318 W. First Ave. • facebook.com/ThisIsTheUnion

BENEFIT BBQ FOR BLESSING

Grab your friends and grab a plate at this all-you-can-eat barbecue throwdown that doubles as a fundraiser for Blessings Under The Bridge, the local nonprofit that serves the homeless and less fortunate. Fifteen competing teams will serve ribs, chicken and brisket, and those attending the event can vote on their favorite dishes.

Co-hosted by the Spokane Tribe Casino, this 21-and-over event includes sides and one free adult beverage, and spirits and cold brews are available to buy, too. In addition to food and beverages, there’s live music by Motown-inspired band Nu Jack City, a live DJ and games. Try it all or pick your favorites, and relax on the lawn to enjoy some barbecue and time outside for a good cause.

— LILLIAN PIEL Blues, Brews, BBQ & Blessings • Sat, June 26 from 12-8 pm • $25 • Spokane Tribe Casino • 14300 W. SR Highway 2, Airway Heights • facebook.com/BlessingsUTB

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509-462-0827

River Park Square (509) 456-TOYS

1707 W Broadway Ave, Spokane, WA 99201

DeissnerLaw.com

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 31

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

PRIDE ON THE RUNWAY An evening of drag, fashion, food and festivities to benefit North Idaho Pride Alliance. June 25, 5:30 pm. $6-$50. The Hive, 207 N. First St. livefromthehive.com POOLSIDE YOGA ON THE FARM Enjoy an hour long, all-levels welcome, outdoor yoga class (poolside) overlooking Higher Ground Animal Sanctuary. Preregistration required. Ages 7+. June 27, July 11, July 25, Aug. 8 and Aug. 22, at 9 am. $15. Higher Ground Animal Sanctuary, 16602 N. Day Mt. Spokane Rd. highergroundanimalsanctuary.org

COMEDY FILM CHILDREN OF THE CORN

In some creative hands, humans lurking in the corn fields makes for terror (hello, Stephen King), but if you throw in Kevin Costner, you have the makings of a family-friendly, baseball-loving film favorite, even though the humans are, you know, long dead. Field of Dreams is playing this Friday as part of the University of Idaho’s recently launched 2021 drive-in movie series.

If watching Costner have a game of catch with his pop on a homemade baseball diamond isn’t your cup of tea, there are plenty more options hitting the Kibbie Dome parking lot (or occasionally the Theophilus Tower Lawn on campus) this summer, including newer fare like In The Heights, Wonder Woman 1984 and The Quiet Place Part II. It’s all free, you can pack your own snacks or buy concessions on site, but please leave the alcohol at home. If you’re traveling from outside Moscow, spend the night and hit the awesome farmers market in the a.m.

— DAN NAILEN Vandal Summer Cinema 2021: Field of Dreams • Fri, June 25 at 8 pm; gate opens 7 pm • Free • University of Idaho • Kibbie Dome Lot 57, Moscow • uidaho.edu/summercinema

COMEDY NIGHT WITH CASEY MCCLAIN The Social Hour Comedy presents Casey McClain, a NW comedian and a favorite across the region. His fun and witty style is sure to leave you wanting more. June 24, 7:30-9 pm. $10.

Ruby River Hotel, 700 N. Division St. fb.me/e/1mkuFIOxG (562-544-4612) JOHN CRIST John Crist is one of today’s fast-rising stand-up comedians, with more than one billion video views, millions of fans on social media and soldout shows from coast to coast. June 24, 7 pm, June 25, 7 & 9:30 pm and June 26, 6:15 & 8:45 pm. $35-$45. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com (509-318-9998) COMEDY NIGHT An evening of comedy with Joey Cruz, Nolan Culver and Phil Hustead. June 26, 8 pm. $10. The Draft Zone, 4436 W. Riverbend Ave., Post Falls. thedraftzone.com (208-457-7917) STEP BROTHERS TRIVIA “Maybe someday we could become friends.

Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” June 29, 7 pm.

Free. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com

COMMUNITY

TRIVIA INCONCEIVABLE!

Come one, come all medieval movie fans and trivia lovers alike. If you pride yourself on your knowledge of classic medieval movies full of shenanigans like The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Robin Hood: Men in Tights, or even if you just love a good game of trivia, register for Spokane County Library District’s next themed trivia night. The event is online, and those who wish to participate need to register in advance and provide an email to get login information. In addition to the aforementioned classics, there are bonus rounds of trivia about other comedic movies set in the Middle Ages. Any movie with princesses and princes, knights, ogres (including ones who want you to get out of their swamp), jousting and sword fights are fair game.

— LILLIAN PIEL Medieval Movie Hijinks Trivia • Fri, June 25 from 6:30-7:30 pm • Free • Online; register at scld.evanced.info

32 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

BIG BROTHERS & SISTERS’ BIG NIGHT OUT Celebrate volunteers with beer, live music, lawn games and more. Learn more about the Big Brothers and Sisters and how to get involved. Brick West is donating 5% of all sales from the evening. June 24, 4-9 pm. Free. Brick West Brewing Co., 1318 W. First (279-2982) BOOK SALE A community book sale offering more than 1,000 titles. June 25, 10 am-2 pm, June 26, 10 am-2 pm and June 27, 9 am-noon. St. Joseph Church, 3720 E. Colbert Rd. stjosephcolbert.org FROM HERE 2ND ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION Celebrate that From Here is still here, and able to support local artists, for a day of music, giveaways, demos and the opportunity to meet artists who sell at the shop. June 26, 12-6 pm. Free. From Here, 808 W. Main Ave. terrainspokane.com/fromhere JUNE BUG BALL Sandpoint’s USA dance chapter hosts a community dance with country two-step lessons and general dancing, door prizes and refreshments. June 26, 7-10 pm. $5-$9.

Ponderay Events Center, 401 Bonner Mall Way. (208-699-0421) SPOKANE VETERANS STAND DOWN A community event sponsored by local businesses, nonprofits and volunteers to provide services and resources for Spokane veterans and their families in need or experiencing homelessness.

Come enjoy a hot lunch, see old friends and make new ones. June 26, 10 am-2 pm. Free. Salvation Army Spokane, 222

E. Indiana. salvationarmyspokane.org COMIC-BOOK REALITY: SUPERHEROES & THE POWER OF REPRESENTATION In this interactive presentation, journalist and educator T. Andrew Wahl explores how everything from social movements to business concerns to changing demographics have shaped the reality seen in the pages of comics.

June 29, 6 pm. Online: humanities.org

FILM

POWER OF US FILM SCREENING + DISCUSSION A short film focusing on the climate crisis and its impacts on our world, followed by a facilitated discussion. June 24, 6:30 pm. Free. Online: meaningfulmovies.org MOVIES IN THE PARK A family-friendly event every Friday in Sally’s Park. All movies begin at sundown. Bring blankets and lawn chairs and enjoy the outdoors with safe distancing. Snacks and drinks available with proceeds benefiting Salvation Army’s local youth programs. Fridays through Aug. 27. Free.

The Salvation Army Spokane, 222 E. Indiana Ave. salvationarmyspokane.org

FOOD

YAPPY HOUR The public is invited to come enjoy drinks and live entertainment while supporting dogs and cats in need. Last Thurs. of every month, from 4-7 pm through Sep. 30. Free.

Free. Ponderay Petsafe Dog Park, 870 Kootenai Cuttoff Rd., Sandpoint. BetterTogetherAnimalAlliance.org EMRYS FERMENTATIONS POP-UP A pop-up dinner offering Old Worldinspired dishes, beer and braggot.

Takeout and dine-in offered; pre-orders recommended but walk-ups accepted based on availability. Pre-order by June 20. June 27. $6-$18/item. Saranac Commons, 19 W. Main. facebook.com/ events/561401291525898/ RUM IN AMERICA COCKTAIL CLASS This class brings together Hogwash Whiskey Den’s master mixologist Simon Moorby and cocktail historian Renée Cebula of Raising the Bar. Includes three drinks, light appetizer and recipe booklet. June 27, 3 pm. $60.

Hogwash Whiskey Den, 304 W. Pacific Ave. raisingthebarnw.com (464-6541) THE UNION PRESENTS: YOGA & MIMOSAS This summer event series includes a one-hour vinyasa flow followed by mimosas of choice. Ages 21+.

June 27, July 11, Aug. 8 and Aug. 22 at 10 am. $20. Brick West Brewing Co., 1318 W. First Ave. brickwestbrewingco.com YOGA & MIMOSA A guided yoga and pilates class with local instructor Sara Randall. Open to all skill levels; bring your own mat. Tickets include bottled water, keepsake glass and one mimosa.

Pre-registration required. 21+. June 27, 10, July 11, Aug. 1, Aug. 15 and Aug. 29 at 10 am. $38. Arbor Crest Wine Cellars, 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. arborcrest.com

MUSIC

MUSIC ON MAIN Music on Main happens in Pullman’s Pine Street Plaza each Thursday evening from 6-8 pm from June through September. Enjoy local artists and bands; follow the Chamber’s Facebook page for updates.

Free. pullmanchamber.com 10 PIECE JAZZ CONCERT: MIKE JOHNSON NONET The Mike Johnson Nonet is jazz played with the fire and excitement of rock & roll but with the grace and elegance found in romantic classi-

cal music. June 26, 8-10 pm. Free. The Longshot, 102 S. Boyer Ave., Sandpoint. longshotsandpoint.com CANCER AWARENESS BENEFIT SHOW The IN-CMA, D-Macs, Columbia Plateau Records and the Lake City Center have teamed up for this benefit event. All proceeds support people struggling with cancer. Performers include Shaiden Hutchman, Jeremiah Banks, Jake Rozier, Erick Johnson, Rusty Jackson and Chrissy Summering.

Also includes a professional dance lesson. June 26, 6 pm. $25. Lake City Center, 1916 N. Lakewood Dr. lakecitycenter. org (208-667-4628)

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

BARRE ON THE BRIDGE Strengthen and tone your body with emphasis on core stability and balance, plus low impact and high intensity cardio bursts.

Bring a yoga mat and water bottle.

Class held on Barbieri Bridge near the Centennial Hotel. Thursdays from 7-8 pm through July 15. Free. Riverfront Park, 507 N. Howard St. riverfrontspokane.com (509-625-6600) CIRCLING RAVEN COUPLES DATE NIGHT + WINE TASTING Start the evening with a four-person scramble round of golf and end with a special wine tasting. June 25, 5 pm. $100/couple. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S. Nukwalqw. cdacasino.com (800-523-2464) RELENTLESS WRESTLING PRESENTS: EPISODE 1, THE BEGINNING Relentless Wrestling brings a premium level of wrestling entertainment to the Pacific Northwest. Come see former WWE star Gangrel and MLW National Openweight Champion Alexander Hammerstone.

June 26, 6 pm. $20+. Trailbreaker Cider, 2204 N. Madison St. facebook.com/ events/288403412939950 (279-2159) COEUR D’ALENE IRONMAN IRONMAN Coeur d’Alene is making a special appearance in 2021. While registration to participate is closed, spectators can watch the race. June 27. Downtown Coeur d’Alene. ironman.com/im-coeurdalene (208-415-0116) SPOKANE INDIANS VS. TRI-CITY DUST DEVILS Home game series.June 29-July 3, 6:30 pm and July 4, 5:09 pm. $5-$14. Avista Stadium, 602 N. Havana. milb.com/spokane/schedule/2021-07

THEATER

UNDER THE STARS ​Enjoy “live” showcase-style performances with local actors and musicians, featuring performances by Andrea Olsen, Steve Mortier, Patti Mortier, Michael Muzatko, Melody Chang, Darnelle Preston, Doug Dawson and more. June 26, 7:30 pm and June 27, 4 pm. $22-$39. CenterPlace Regional Event Center, 2426 N. Discovery Place Dr. svsummertheatre.com ART AS THEATER Five original one-act plays written and directed Teresa Pesce, inspired by works of local POAC artists with musical score by Dave Gunter.

June 25-26 at 7:30 pm, June 27 at 2 pm. $12-$15. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave. panida.org (208-255-7801) SOMETHING’S AFOOT The Pend Oreille Players Association and the Kalispel Tribe present a murder mystery musical with a satirical take on Agatha Christie novels. June 18-27: Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. June 25, 7 pm, June 26, 7 pm and June 27, 3 pm. $7-$12. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 236 S. Union Ave. pendoreilleplayers.org (509-447-9900) n

supplies to pick up trash and abate the rampant graffiti along the alley outside their doors! Downtown’s a neighborhood too — let’s support businesses that treat it that way!

THANK YOU TO THE WOMAN AT HOME DEPOT I didn’t even catch your name, I’m sorry! But I am so grateful you helped me get that vanity home from Home Depot. I really appreciate your kindness, and will definitely pay it forward. :)

I SAW YOU HANDSOME MAN AT THE CAR WASH I was at the Coeur d’Alene Metro car wash when I saw you in your work pickup that had “Airway Service Inc.” on the side. I don’t know who you are, but you are very handsome and struck my attention. You had Texas plates, so hopefully by chance you run across this.

CHEERS RULE OUT RULE OF THUMB! Cheers to everybody who uses “common rule,” “normal rule” or simply “rule” instead of “rule of thumb.” For your information, the most likely origin of “the rule of thumb” dates back to the 18th century when a judge declared that a man could beat his wife with a stick so long as it were no wider than his thumb. Not cool. Thanks for removing it from your vocabulary!

RE: RIGHT OF WAY Rule of thumb at a four-way/all-way stop. You are correct that the car on your right goes first if you get there at the same time; otherwise it is who gets there first.

GOOD NEIGHBORS Cheers to the folks at Barrister Winery and the Meals on Wheels for spending time, energy and

DOG LOVER AT THOMAS HAMMER Thank you to the kind gentleman who stopped on his way into the Thomas Hammer parking lot on the South Hill to offer water and treats to our dog. For no other reason than his love of dogs.

Cheers friend!

JEERS JEERS TO A FAILED SYSTEM Jeers to a failed court system. What happened to protecting DV survivors and abused children? I no longer question the amount of DV cases with sad endings in Spokane or abused children allowed unsupervised visits with their abuser. I have witnessed an extreme case in family court with multiple hearings completely fail after a hearing in Feb 2021. How can a father that was arrested/charged for felony (article 15) abuse against a child, a psychotherapy mental eval (proves abusive narcissist) and multiple counselors determined “no visits with children or supervised” have unsupervised and overnight visits? How does a judge just take the risk? Jeers to a very poor decision from a very poor judge that was never looking out for the safety or well-being of a child. This is a sad reality to why Spokane has more reoccurring domestic violence cases than any other county in Washington — it’s the man behind the wooden box with a robe that has failed. Prayers that it’s not another tragedy on the news because of a system that has failed again.

CITY OF SPOKANE Since you have uni-

laterally decided to pick up my recycling bin every two weeks, I would expect to see a corresponding decrease on my utility bill. Not surprisingly however, this has not been the case. In fact, my bill has gone UP since you’ve implemented this “experimental” policy. Let’s call it what it is: This is a straight-up bamboozle. Either pick up the recycling bins every week, or lower the damn bill.

ing” with who-knew-what-was-next on the Fauci Fraud “FREE-way”!! Hundreds, and thousands, visit your businesses daily, with no masks, and no requirement to prove they are safe. (Good for

CHEAP HUNNIT FOR FENTANYL You think you’re immune, living a semi respectful life with your kids. You sell fake oxycontin — four for a hunnit, they’re real, you texted my son. When your co-worker/friend — my son — believed you, he died that night. He didn’t order a bullet; he did not order death. You didn’t tell the dealer he died. Protect yourself, and your own two kids, right? You claim you cared about your friend, my son.

Because you didn’t speak up, that hot batch still got sold. How many others died? SHAME. Really, how do you look in the mirror? HOW? God help you.

them.....or do we start with the next contagious item on the list?) There are many. They are virulent. They are common. The bugs are prolific. Certainly, NO one is required to be vaccinated, but to work in your Money Machine without a mask, one must show proof of and be on record as “vaccinated.” You can’t honor the fact that these employees who have NEVER taken advantage of the Co-Vid “offers” of time off, time off paid, time off to worry, time off to?? aren’t the folks who are going to show up to work sick, contagious or symptomatic!!! (Those are the trails of schmoes who will ALWAYS disregard safe work spaces. Crisis or not.)

Is the Pandemic Payola still too huge for you to do right by these laborers?...Or is your hunger for power only growing with the $$$s you tally every day. Do the right thing. Do right by your employees.

Especially those who have done right by you. Customers, ask the questions of management. Insist you know. Go where the workers are treated like the populace.

At this point, can we REALLY trace “that” outbreak to “that” bigger than small business?? NO...we cannot. Get off your high horse and back down to business, not this now-phony-baloney gravy-grab.

You know who you are, “Biggies.” ...

And it’s a little more than a little bit of a sham-shame. If you require proof from your employees, ask for proof at your doors!!

“

Either pick up the recycling bins every week, or lower the damn bill.

A PALPABLE VOID Awhile ago, “The Last Word” in the Inlander got kicked to the wayside. It was such good, concise writing I used it in my classroom. My students and I miss it. Please bring it back.

HONOR....ABLE? To the Big “Bad” Businesses NOW??... requiring their ever-loyal employees to present proof of vaccination in order to ditch the dirty masks!!…all while allowing throngs of customers to come thru the doors on “the honor system”!! How ‘bout you flip that narrative. These are the STILL hardworking employees that hung in their with you PRE-vaccine! The same employees who were/are regularly screened, tested, quarantined, and berated by belligerent types who are stressed in their own worlds, dumpin’ it where it doesn’t belong. Those who worked your businesses to megaprofits all while “comply-

SOUND OFF

1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3.

Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”

BAD PARENT ALERT AT DISHMAN HILLS Was with my Adventure Dog Class last Wednesday and we were at Dishman Hills in the Spokane Valley around noon, and we were very shocked when a tod-

”

dler started running at us totally naked!!

She was with several other kids, and they had their clothes on. No parents around!

Asked the kids where their parents were, and they said they were in the forest.

This happened on the paved trail by the grass area. Minutes later four adults came down the trail, and our dog instructor asked if one of them was the naked child’s parent? One, laughing, said yes.

Meanwhile there are probably 30 kids and only a few adults in the large play field. I just don’t understand how any parent would think that would be OK? That park is known for having a homeless problem, and the child had no shoes on.

God knows what she could of stepped in. The park playground grass area had about 30 kids in it, and not many adults supervising. Wondering if this was some day care gone wild or what. It sure gave our little dogs are startle. n

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS A B F A B K E A N U A N D Y S E T R D A N I E A R S O N S S W I T S H A I L E O A T O N R U S D E B B I E E L L I S G L A M D E A I D A S E E N A

M O R E L

I R K E D

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W E E

E L I S L I L E

S T C A I S

K I S A M A Y L E V O L T O K S W O O D S E O B L Y N O L O C O N E Y P E A G X H A

P S H A W

O T E R I

P O L E S

P L A I D

B E R G S

S Y N E

L U S I T A T E D

NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

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JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 33

“It’s time to get creative to achieve our community vaccination goals,” Apex’s Stacey Peterson says.

TOKES FOR SHOTS

Washington slouches toward a vaccination milestone with a little help from its ‘joints for jabs’ drive

BY WILL MAUPIN

E

arlier this month the state of Washington announced its “joints for jabs” program, allowing cannabis retailers to give out a free joint to anyone who gets vaccinated on site, and the story quickly made national news. After a slow start, the program is now making a real difference.

Last week, Apex Cannabis hosted a vaccine clinic at its location just north of downtown. They’ll be at it again this week, with fellow retailer Cannabis & Glass jumping into the mix as well. So far, it seems that free weed is a pretty good way to incentivize vaccination.

“We have partnered with a local private vaccine clinic that has completed more than 10,000 Covid-19 vaccinations. The clinics offer Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson vaccines,” Apex’s Stacey Peterson says. “Earlier this year their clinic was vaccinating hundreds of people a day.

34 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

However, recently their three-hour mobile clinics have only been getting three to five vaccinations. They were thrilled with last week’s in-shop vaccination numbers of 29 on Thursday and 43 on Friday.”

Washington’s vaccination rate peaked at just over 70,000 doses per day in mid-April but has fallen to between 25,000 and 35,000 per day in June, according to the state’s Department of Health. By comparison, Apex’s numbers seem small, but they’re critical as the state inches toward the magical 70 percent threshold. As of June 19, the state’s vaccination rate was sitting at 67.8 percent.

Cannabis, illegal just a decade ago and seen by many as a threat to public health, is now being used to help push the state over the finish line in the race to end a public health crisis.

“It’s time to get creative to achieve our community vaccination goals,” Peterson says. “As a society we accept vaccination incentives like beer, liquor and gambling, none of which have any positive medicinal value. The accepted thinking is, ‘Let’s do what it takes to keep our community safe!’”

UPCOMING JOINTS FOR JABS CLINICS

Apex will host vaccine clinics on June 24 and June 25 from 1-4 pm at their location at 1325 N. Division St. Preregistration is recommended, but walk-ins are welcome.

Cannabis & Glass is set to host three clinics. The first two will be June 24, from 1-3 pm at the shop’s 605 E. Francis Ave. location, and from 4-7 at it 9403 E. Trent Ave. location. The third will be on June 25 from 1-7 pm at its 25101 East Appleway Ave. location in Liberty Lake. n

Marijuana use increases the risk of lower grades and dropping out of school.

Talk with your kids.

GET THE FACTS at

learnaboutmarijuanawa.org

JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 35

GREEN ZONE

NOTE TO READERS Be aware of the differences in the law between Idaho and Washington. It is illegal to possess, sell or transport cannabis in the State of Idaho. Possessing up to an ounce is a misdemeanor and can get you a year in jail and up to a $1,000 fine; more than three ounces is a felony that can carry a five-year sentence and fine of up to $10,000. Transporting marijuana across state lines, like from Washington into Idaho, is a felony under federal law.

YOUR TEEN ASKS WHY

IS LEGAL FOR YOU, BUT NOT HIM. AND YOU SAY? Now that marijuana is legal for those 21 and over, it’s more important than ever to talk with your kids.

STARTTALKINGNOW.ORG 36 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

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DURING THE IN-SHOP VACCINATION CLINIC - ALL REWARDS MEMBERS RECEIVE 3X POINTS - NEW REWARDS MEMBERS RECEIVE 30% OFF The Joints for Jabs program was designed by the Washington State Liquor & Cannabis Board.

Cannabis retailers are only allowed to give one joint to those receiving vaccinations inside retail shops.

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JUNE 24, 2021 INLANDER 37

GREEN ZONE

BE AWARE: Marijuana is legal for adults 21 and older under Washington State law (e.g., RCW 69.50, RCW 69.51A, HB0001 Initiative 502 and Senate Bill 5052). State law does not preempt federal law; possessing, using, distributing and selling marijuana remains illegal under federal law. In Washington state, consuming marijuana in public, driving while under the influence of marijuana and transporting marijuana across state lines are all illegal. Marijuana has intoxicating effects; there may be health risks associated with its consumption, and it may be habit-forming. It can also impair concentration, coordination and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. Keep out of reach of children. For more information, consult the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board at www.liq.wa.gov.

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38 INLANDER JUNE 24, 2021

Advice Goddess PLATONIC BOMB

A guy I know grates on me because he only has female friends. He apparently tried to get involved with each of them at some point but got rejected. Why doesn’t he find male friends instead of preying on women (under the guise of friendship) who probably trust him not to hit on them?

—Disgusted This guy probably lives in eternal hope about each female friend, dreaming of the day he can be of service when AMY ALKON she drops something on his floor — like her panties.

Though you don’t mention him trying to roofie his dreams into reality, his behavior probably “grates” on you because you take a less sexually opportunistic approach to your friendships with men. We humans “are disposed ... to imagine that other minds are much like our own,” explains anthropologist Donald Symons, and they often are.

However, we’re prone to assume they should be like our own, so when someone thinks differently, we tend to see them as wrong (and maybe kind of awful) and not just different.

Men and women (and male and female minds) are more alike than different.

However, our differing physiologies — like which sex gets pregnant and needs to guard against having to raise a kid solo — led to the evolution of psychological differences, like women’s greater choosiness in whom they’ll have sex with. Though both men and women sometimes tumble into bed with their opposite-sex friends, for many men, the friendship zone seems to double as a “well, try your best to turn her into a sexfriend!” zone.

Evolutionary psychologist April Bleske-Rechek, researching sex differences in how people perceive their opposite-sex friends, finds that a man is more likely to define a female friend as someone he’s attracted to “and would pursue given the opportunity,” while a woman is more likely to define a male friend simply as “a friend of the opposite sex.”

Maybe you think friendship should be a “safe space,” guaranteed to remain endlessly platonic. And maybe that’s unrealistic — unless you avoid having friends who might hit on you. You could try to view this guy’s behavior in a more compassionate light. Chances are he’s a beta male who can’t compete with the alphas in the normal mating sphere, like on Tinder or at parties. He’s probably doing the best he can with the one edge he has, the scheme-y smarts to surround himself with a bunch of pretty ladies.

(Living in a dude-filled monastery only works for a guy whose pet name for his beloved is “The Almighty.”)

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My ex cheated on me and conned me financially, but before I realized this, I had really fallen for him. I miss him and keep thinking about him every day, and I can’t seem to stop. A friend suggested I get a spell from a witchcraft store. She insists this helped her have closure after her bad breakup. I’m a rational person, and this sounds completely ridiculous, but nothing I’ve tried (from meditation to venting to total strangers to dating other people) has helped. Please tell me this is completely stupid. —Plagued It’s a tempting idea, the notion that you can solve your lingering emotional issues via retail, a la “Curses: Today only, two for $19.99!”

In fact, a ritual — such as casting a spell or hockey player Stephan Lebeau always chewing 20 to 25 pieces of gum and spitting them out two minutes before faceoff — can have a positive effect. I know this sounds rather cuckoopants; however, it isn’t because the ritual works in any supernatural way.

A ritual, explains Harvard Business School professor Francesca Gino, is some “symbolic activity” you perform in hopes of making something happen. Gino finds that performing rituals leads to “increased feelings of control.” This can help the ritual-doer calm down and be more in control. Amazingly, even those who think the ritual they’re doing is total hooey experience this benefit — what I’d call the abracadabra placebo effect. Our psychology seems tuned to figure if we’re taking some action, it’s for a reason: to make things better.

You might create an eviction ritual to get the guy out of your head. I suggest writing the story of your relationship, including what you learned that will help you avoid entanglements with future Mr. Rottens. Psychologist James Pennebaker finds that “expressive writing” — even 15 minutes spent describing the emotional impact of a bad experience — helps us reinterpret and make sense of what happened so we can go forward instead of endlessly rechewing the past. Invite a friend over (or dress up your cat) to bear witness, and then say a few words, light the story on fire, and flush the ashes.

This should help you accept it’s over, though, admittedly, without the finality of the day of celebration you probably think the guy deserves: Casual Human Sacrifice Friday. n ©2021, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

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