Inlander 8/06/13 by The Inlander

AUGUST 8-14, 2013 | GENERATING BUZZ SINCE 1993

What Will We Do When The Bees Are Gone? 22

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The soaring cost of overtime

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COMMENT | PUBLIC SERVICE

arion Jones earned five gold medals in track at the 2000 Summer Olympics. Later, in disgrace, she admitted to illegal steroid use, pled guilty to charges of lying to federal agents and spent six months in prison. Tearfully expressing regret at her guilt, she uttered these words, “I have betrayed your trust.” I recently watched her admit to illegal activity and saw her painfully reveal how she had brought such trouble upon herself. She forfeited her Olympic medals, bringing shame to herself, her family, friends and her country. She served her sentence and briefly returned at age 34 to play professional basketball. Her story is a lesson in humility for disgraced public figures who also betrayed public trust.

ome politicians today have a perverse tendency to betray public trust through improper conduct, and after a self-imposed hiatus, believe they deserve a “second chance” to again be public servants. Former U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner, a serial exhibitionist, craves public attention, in spite of recent revelations that he re-offended by sending more lewd texts of himself to others. Former New York At-

Tulsa Shock for a couple of years before retiring, but frequently tells her compelling history to students, urging them never to cheat and to always be honest. Marion Jones’ blueprint for humbly recovering from scandal and public humiliation is remarkable, but other examples also show how best to deal with adversity, even when it’s not self-imposed.

eterans of America’s wars routinely returned home scarred and blemished, yet were quiet about their experiences, instead thankful for having done their duty for a grateful nation. A new book by Daniel James Brown, The Boys in the Boat, chronicles another story of grace overcoming adversity. It’s the story of the triumphant University of Washington crew team that won Olympic gold against all odds in the 1936 Olympic Games in Germany. One of the boys featured, Joe Rantz, grew up in Sequim and spent years in Eastern Washington and North Idaho as part of a family struggling to survive the 1930s’ Great Depression. Joe Rantz’s mother died of cancer when he was little. Abandoned by his stepmother and father and their young children when Joe was only 15, he survived — alone — in the empty family home in Sequim, catching and selling fish, working in the woods and doing other odd jobs just to survive, though surviving provided no relief to the aching loneliness of a young boy completely on his own. Yet he excelled in school and was accepted at the University of Washington, where he made the men’s crew team. Tall, tough and rangy, Joe Rantz became part of a crew team that went on to compete against — and defeat — the best crew teams in the world. Crewing is a sport that stresses the legs, arms, shoulders and lungs in a symphony of athletic coordination with eight rowers, all of whom must pull oars at the same intensity and rhythm in order to move the boat quickly over a 2,000-meter course. Big, strong, intense, coordinated people row crew. Winning gold in 1936 in front of Adolf Hitler was a colossal feat, yet Joe Rantz and his teammates, all ordinary boys with extraordinary physical gifts, had something else that made them golden. They had character, the kind that subsumes the self to a greater cause, admitting shortcomings with honesty, like Marion Jones, and then earning the respect they’re due. Disgraced public officials should take note. 

The problem with these four guilty men is that they lack the character of Marion Jones. torney General Eliot Spitzer, a recidivist prostitution consumer, resigned in disgrace from New York’s governorship, but now again seeks public office. Disgraced former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (the “hiker”) shrewdly played the “second chance” card and was reelected this year to his old Congressional seat. Former U.S. Representative Bob Filner, now San Diego’s mayor, facing female ex-staffers’ accusations, has admitted to being controlled by internal demons such that he can’t resist groping women. The problem with these four guilty men is that they lack the character of Marion Jones — to simply admit their shortcomings, with contrition and consequence, and respectably serve as examples of how to gracefully withdraw from public life. With low approval ratings of public officials, one would think that these disgraced men would feel obliged to try to improve public respect for government service by exiting the public stage. But no — they deem themselves too important. Marion Jones did her prison time and then trained for a new athletic challenge — professional women’s basketball. She played for the

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Art By Nature BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

“M

an, this is beautiful up here, y’all!” That was Amy Ray, half of the Indigo Girls, last Thursday night as the Festival at Sandpoint opened its fourth decade on the shores of the confluence of the lake and river named for the Pend Oreilles, aka the Kalispels. “We know!” you could almost hear the crowd thinking, with the rain holding back and the pine-covered hills across the water lit as the sun poked through. “The Festival really celebrates our natural setting up here,” says Dyno Wahl, who has been the executive director of the Festival for 15 years now. “Nothing beats North Idaho: We’ve got everything.” It was so beautiful, it even took a couple of Georgia girls by surprise. Just down the road in Coeur d’Alene the very next day, it was Art on the Green’s weekend to shine, with 50,000-plus art lovers on hand. Celebrating its 45th year, it has spawned companion events that stretched all the way across City Park up along Sherman Avenue. The Coeur d’Alene Summer Theatre is of that same vintage, right there on the old Fort Sherman Grounds; this weekend, they kick off their final show of the season, 9 to 5. And Coeur d’Alene has added Ironman in late June, and this Labor Day weekend they’re bringing the hydroplane races back to the lake. My grandfather Archie ran the Lakeview Court hotel in downtown Coeur d’Alene when I was a kid, right across the street from the beach. Even today, as I walk under that cooling canopy of trees on a hot day — as I did over the weekend — it puts a smile on my face, reminding me of running over there with all my cousins to play. I remember Art on the Green, but I really loved the Scottish Festival and Tattoo that ran from the 1950s through the ’70s. With a name like McGregor, watching those pipe bands and caber-tossers from all over Canada and the Pacific Northwest was pretty amazing. (Now there’s a festival somebody should revive.) None of these events happen by themselves — “This only happens with all our volunteers,” says Wahl. “It may not always be obvious, but any given night, there are 300 volunteers out on that field.” It’s taken a couple generations of dedicated people to keep these institutions alive for so many years. Back up in Sandpoint last Thursday, watching the osprey survey the crowd from high above the stage, and as the Indigo Girls alternated between the sweet harmonizing of Emily Saliers’ songs and the rock-star prophesizing of Amy Ray’s, it was the perfect North Idaho summer moment. They said their final “Thanks, y’all!,” and fireworks marked the moment right up above our heads. And just then, as we moved to the exit, after a month of searing heat, nature provided the final encore as the skies opened up and rain started to fall on the happy crowd. n

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COMMENT | DIGEST ON OUR FACEBOOK

The world’s first “testtube hamburger” was cooked up in London. Would you eat meat made in a lab? SHAYLA CLARK: Eww. BARB CHAMBERLAIN: This makes me happy I’m a vegetarian. LESLEY JOHNSON: I wouldn’t eat real meat, much less test tube meat meant to duplicate it. ADAM JOHN FRANK: Absolutely. Especially if they can figure out how to get the fat to grow into it properly.

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I was disappointed to find no correction of Mary Lou Reed’s error of attributing quotations from “Swinging on a Star” to Frank Sinatra in “Get What You Pay For,” (7/25/13). Search “Swinging on a Star” on Wikipedia and you’ll find that not only is the song Bing Crosby’s, but the very words that Mary Lou Reed quoted in her article were written in Bing Crosby’s home. Spokane and Bing are due an apology! JERRY FRANC Coeur d’Alene, Idaho NOTE: Bing Crosby was the first to sing the Jimmy Van Heusen/Johnny Burke song in Going My Way; Frank Sinatra, and others, subsequently recorded the song.

SPEECH ON THE BALLOT

As someone who interacts every day with Spokane businesses and nonprofits, I feel a responsibility to respond to Ted Hensold’s commentary about the Spokane Moves to Amend the Constitution ballot initiative (“Withdrawing Consent,” 7/25/13). A growing number of people in our community are very worried about the negative consequences of the SMAC initiative, which goes well beyond overturning a single Supreme Court decision. It seeks to eliminate the constitutional rights of businesses, nonprofit organizations, their employees and any person speaking on their behalf by prohibiting any contact on legislative matters unless done in a public meeting. The initiative would go further, making it illegal for the person or organization to exercise their rights to defend themselves in court if sued for engaging in these prohibited practices. That’s right. If you, as someone “purporting to represent” a nonprofit board or business, has a cup of coffee with (or writes an email to) our mayor or a city council member to discuss issues affecting your organization, your actions would be a criminal offense, subject to a $5,000 fine or one year in jail — or both. Needless to say, Mr. Hensold is underselling the draconian impact his initiative would have on our community; he even admits that “this ordinance, if passed,

may be struck down.” If proponents aren’t sure whether their initiative is legal, why should we as taxpayers spend hundreds of thousands, if not millions of our dollars to find out? Spokane is a beautiful city on the verge of economic recovery; we can ill afford the legal expenses or the negative message these radical threats to our constitution would send if passed. I support the growing effort to have a judge determine whether SMAC’s initiative should be pulled from the ballot, because it and its companion initiative are both unconstitutional and an abuse of Washington’s initiative process. MARK RICHARD President, Downtown Spokane Partnership

SIGNS ARE EVERYWHERE

Like all empires throughout history, the United States is coming to an end. An empire has an emperor or an absolute ruler who is usually an individual, but in the case of the United States, this emperor is the Corporation. It is just like Mitt Romney said, “Corporations are people.” The 2003 documentary film, The Corporation, describes corporate behavior toward society as a psychopath with little regard for individual rights — their bottom line is always profit. There are signs that point to upcoming events, just like there would be in your own life. Look at the United States; Detroit was once the darling of the corporate world. They have now declared bankruptcy. We used to have triple AAA credit rating but have now been downgraded to double AA plus. The 2008 recession should have been a wake-up call to the greed on Wall Street, but instead it was just another excuse for a bailout. These problems didn’t occur overnight; they have been brewing for a long time and are now coming to a head. This fall, Congress will vote on the debt ceiling again. A government shutdown is in the making. If you think the depression of the 1930s was bad, just wait. MAX TUGGLE Coeur d’Alene, Idaho

JONATHAN PLANK: It’s a more humane alternative to acquire the same product. Anyone against it isn’t thinking sensibly. MICHAEL J SALSBURY-PHOTOJOURNALIST: Only if Soylent Green was the other option on the buffet. LONI WAGGONER: What a waste of time and money. Nobody will want to eat that! So what now, are they going to be sneaking it into kids’ meals to experiment without the public’s knowledge and consent? RACHEL FENNEN AUSTIN: It’s way more humane than real meat. I wish meat eaters wouldn’t be so grossed out by this. Isn’t eating a dead animal kind of gross? I say, if you eat meat, you should at least try it to see if it tastes the same. If it tastes the same, how can you justify killing animals when there’s no need to? MAGGIE DIMAURO: Yuck...hell no. KELLI CRAWFORD: I don’t understand the resistance to this. It’s a wonderful way to improve our treatment of animals and the environment and tastes exactly the same. Of course I would eat it. ALLIE RAWLINS: I don’t trust real meat unless it’s local and organic, I would never trust meat that’s been created in a lab. STANLEY PETERSON: Nope! The real deal for this schlemiel. We suck, what could possible make us believe we can out do nature. We are more likely to do ourselves in... seems to be the course we’re on, who wouldn’t agree? 

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COMMENT | SATIRE

Rest Up, Congress A BY ANDY BOROWITZ

s House Republicans began their five-week summer vacation this week, their leader, House Speaker John Boehner, urged them to rest up for “the many symbolic and meaningless votes that lie ahead.” Mr. Boehner, while congratulating his colleagues on having voted to repeal Obamacare 40 times, reminded his fellow Republicans that their work is “far from over.” “I want you to come back from vacation refreshed, because we’ve got another year of futile, time-wasting votes to cast,” he said. “Only the strong will survive.” According to Boehner, this year’s grueling schedule of fakerepeal votes had been the GOP’s “most physically punishing ever.” Noting that the exhausting ordeal of frequent, pointless Obamacare votes had transformed his fellow House Republicans into hollowed-out husks of their former selves, the Speaker observed,

“Purely symbolic voting may be even more exhausting than actual work. “It’s true that voting to repeal Obamacare has cost the American taxpayer over $50 million,” he said. “But that’s nothing compared to the toll it’s taken on us.” For his part, Boehner said he intends to spend August at the beach, as he always does, fruitlessly trying to change the rules of volleyball. Elsewhere, responding to Pope Francis’ suggestion that the Pope is not capable of judging gays, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia contacted the Vatican this week to say that he would be “more than happy” to help the Pontiff do so. n For more fake news from Andy Borowitz, visit borowitzreport.com.

COMMENT | POLITICS

Meet the 10 Percenters BY JIM HIGHTOWER

e Americans are now pretty clear on who makes up the 1 percent — the wealthiest elites who feel entitled to profit at the expense of us 99 percenters. But who the heck are the 10 percenters? According to pollsters at Gallup, a mere 10 percent of Americans today have “a great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence in Congress. That’s the lowest rating ever, not only for our nation’s august legislative body, but for any institution in America. Gallup reports that public trust in lawmakers has tumbled all the way down to dead last among our nation’s major establishment organizations, ranking even lower than the greedheads of big business and fluffheads of TV news. Of course, that’s really no surprise, especially given the knownothings who control the do-nothing nuthouse that claims to be our House of Representatives. Hailing from perversely gerrymandered districts, most of them are elected by an extremist fringe in low-turnout, no-contest races, then come to Washington not to govern for the

common good, but to prance about in ideological dances designed to titillate the faithful fringe. Thus we have the ceaseless spectacle of a House that won’t even consider passing a jobs program, a futureminded green energy initiative or even an urgently needed bill to repair and expand America’s dangerously deteriorating infrastructure. But in a buffoonish and totally fruitless political stunt, they have voted again and again (40 times, so far) to repeal Obamacare — all without offering any health care alternative to replace it. So the surprise is not the public’s deep distrust of this Congress, but that 10 percent say they have faith in it! Who in the world are those people? I’m guessing staff members, family dependents, lobbyists and the unhinged fringe who foisted this bunch on us. n For more from America’s populist, check out jimhightower.com.

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Extra security at major events, officials say, is partially to blame for the rising overtime expenses.

POLICE

Long Hours With staffing shortages, Spokane law enforcement agencies struggle to avoid soaring overtime costs and officer burnout BY JACOB JONES

oping with tight budgets and depleted ranks, both made more than $22,000 in overtime alone during the the Spokane Police Department and Spokane first six months of 2013. A Spokane Police detective has County Sheriff’s Office now spend more than similarly clocked nearly $18,000 in overtime. $100,000 on overtime each month to cover Police Chief Frank Straub says recession beltpatrol shifts, task force assignments and tightening steadily drove down staff levels, leaving special event security. numerous vacancies unfilled and digging a “hole” Local officers and civilian personnel in that local departments have only started to dig Send comments to understaffed divisions rack up longer hours editor@inlander.com. out of. and bigger paychecks as law enforcement “The numbers have gotten down too low,” agencies struggle to handle increased duties he says. “[But] we’re not going to jeopardize the with fewer employees. safety of our officers by understaffing the shifts.” A dispatch supervisor for the Sheriff’s Office has Without funding in recent years to replace retirements

LETTERS

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

or other openings, Straub and Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich say they have had to cover existing shifts with fewer officers, stretching their people thin and driving up overtime hours. Both departments now resort to paying overtime rates of time and a half for shifts they once staffed with regular duty officers. Knezovich expects his overtime costs could run more than $500,000 over budget this year. City records show the Spokane Police on a similar trend to run about a half million dollars over budget in overtime. And with officers picking up more and more shifts, both departments also voiced concerns about employees getting tired or burning out. “Staffing is a huge issue for us right now,” Knezovich says. “We have no cushion left.”

traub says several factors have contributed to extra overtime costs this year. While many officers have been called in to backfill vacant shifts, his new efforts to target crime “hot spots” have also increased demands on patrol officers and specialty units. Beyond that, Straub says the department also spent more on overtime to strengthen public event security in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. ...continued on next page

AUGUST 8, 2013 INLANDER 13

NEWS | POLICE

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“LONG HOURS,” CONTINUED... “That heightened everybody’s concerns around big event security,” he says. “That was a big driver.” Department records show overtime costs to cover this year’s Bloomsday almost doubled compared to 2012, increasing from approximately $29,000 last year to $57,000 this past May. Hoopfest overtime expenses also increased about $13,000 over last year. Overall, special event overtime costs went up from about $175,500 in 2012 to nearly $249,000 this year. Straub argues the extra police presence resulted in fewer disturbances and increased public safety at events. He also notes community groups or regional task forces often reimburse the department for a portion of overtime spent on special assignments. Knezovich says deputies on special teams have seen increased overtime demands. Understaffed divisions, like dispatch and records, have also struggled to fill shifts amid turnover and staff reductions. “We’re always behind in staffing,” he says. Meanwhile, many police and sheriff’s employees have banked thousands of dollars

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in overtime payments. At the Spokane Police Department, Det. John Willard has picked up enough extra shifts to make more than $19,000 in overtime for the first six months of 2013. The Sheriff’s Office has several employees making $15,000 to $20,000 in overtime for the first half of 2013. The top earner is Sgt. Mike Kittilstved, who has banked more than $22,800 working overtime with the regional Gang Enforcement Team. “They work a ton of overtime,” the sheriff says.

aw enforcement agencies typically operate with high overtime rates. Patrol duties and shifts cannot go unfilled if a high-profile case eats up manpower or an injury benches an officer. Citizens still expect someone to respond when they call 911. The Spokane Police Department budgeted for more than $1.7 million in overtime this year, double that of any other Spokane city department. The Sheriff’s Office budgeted $1.3 million in overtime for 2013. Both anticipate exceeding those figures by up to $500,000. City officials asked Straub last month if the

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department had reached a tipping point where paying officers overtime cost more than hiring additional officers to work the time at regular salary. “We’re pretty much at the point now where we’re spending more on overtime than we should be had we been appropriately staffed,” he responded. Other regional departments have spent significantly less money on overtime this year. In Idaho, the Coeur d’Alene Police Department spent just $135,000 for overtime during the first six months of 2013. The top overtime earner, Officer Jared Reneau, made $7,700 during that time. Most Coeur d’Alene officers made $2,000 to $5,000 in overtime. The Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office, which warned of understaffing and increased overtime in its 2013 budget proposal, spent more than $313,000 on overtime. Much of the Kootenai County overtime goes to jail staff with Deputy Wade Kiedrowski collecting the most at $11,800 for the first half of 2013. Average overtime for the department’s 58 patrol deputies during that same period was about $1,218. Gavin Cooley, Spokane’s chief financial officer, acknowledges the Spokane Police Department will be significantly over budget by year end, but he believes some additional tax revenue and inhouse savings will cover the expenses. “We’ve known we were going to have this overtime,” Cooley says. “[Straub] has been very clear that he’s going to do whatever it takes to create a safe community. That’s what he’s been charged with.”

oth the Spokane Police Department and the Sheriff’s Office hope some relief is on the way. City budget priorities announced Tuesday ask for funding for an additional 25 SPD officers. County commissioners also recently approved five deputy positions to fill a few of the vacancies at the Sheriff’s Office. Entry-level commissioned officers often take at least 18 months to get trained and put on the street. Straub says he has made seven recent hires to fill previous openings. Knezovich says he has two new deputies going through training. For the time being, both departments will continue to rely on overtime to fill shifts. Straub says his overtime numbers should level off now that most of the city’s special events have finished for the year. Just Pig Out in the Park remains. Straub and Knezovich say they plan to closely monitor how their employees pick up overtime shifts to prevent overworking or overtime abuse. They say they try to make sure employees do not stack up shifts or let work hours overwhelm their home lives. “We’re watching it really closely,” Straub says. “It’s something that we have to pay attention to.” Knezovich says he knows his employees could be stretched thin, and he works to prevent overtime from having negative impacts on job performance or family. “You can only work so much overtime before you start burning out,” he says. “It takes a toll.”  jacobj@inlander.com

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NEWS | DIGEST

NEED TO KNOW

JOBS SLOW RECOVERY National unemployment continued to fall, slowly, through the first half of this year. Spokane’s rate — which fell below 8 percent this summer for the first time since 2008 — is slightly higher than the national rate, but has been following the same trend of slow recovery.

The Big News of the Past Week

The unemployment rate in Spokane has been higher than the rate in Washington state as a whole since 2011...

10%

SPOKANE

WASH.

7% ’03

’08

’13

... But most of Washington’s recovery is in the Seattle area. Without Seattle, the state is on par with Spokane.

REST OF WASH.

Recession

SEATTLE

DEC. ’07-JUNE ’09 4%

3% ’03

’04

’05

’06

’07

’08

’09

’10

’11

’12

’13

’03

’08

’13 LISA WAANANEN CHART

Sources: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Local Area Unemployment Statistics; Washington State Employment Security Department

Megaloads hauling giant pieces of equipment for a controversial Alberta oil sands project made their way past protesters in Idaho’s Nez Perce Reservation in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Nineteen protesters, including most of the Nez Perce Tribal Executive Committee, were arrested. In a victory for environmentalists, the Washington State Department of Ecology will mandate study of the state-wide, and even global, consequences of Bellingham’s proposed coal terminal before it can be constructed.

2. 3.

A suspected Al-Qaeda threat caused the closure of 20 U.S. embassies throughout the Middle East and Africa.

8% U.S.

The city of Spokane came under fire for hiring Kyle Twohig, son of Public Facilities Director Kevin Twohig, as head of the city’s engineering services department, despite Kyle having no engineering training. A consulting firm used by the department recently undershot the correct cost for a bridge project by nearly $500,000.

Major League Baseball suspended 13 baseball players for their use of performance enhancing drugs, including Yankees star player Alex Rodriguez.

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181

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VIDEO: Check out our latest mini documentary, which takes you behind the scenes with The Strangers, a local band working on its first full-length album. TO DO: All the recent news about business closures may have you down. But there’s still plenty to be excited about in Spokane: The Bartlett, Pho City and more on the blog.

NEWS | BRIEFS

uted equally. Washington ranks 36th in the nation in the number of developmentally disabled individuals it serves per capita. — DEANNA PAN

Cuts and Cops

CONDON’S TURN

Mayor Condon releases his proposed budget; plus, Ben Stuckart rethinks surveillance EYES IN THE SKY (AND EVERYWHERE ELSE)

Spokane City Council President Ben Stuckart is postponing a vote on an ordinance aimed at regulating DRONE USE in the city while he makes changes called for by the ACLU of Washington and others. Stuckart’s original proposal required council approval before city departments purchased new surveillance technologies, including drones, but didn’t mention leased equipment or regulate a handful of other technologies police are already using. The ACLU of Washington criticized the original ordinance for not covering all activities “that pose a potential threat to privacy,” like red light cameras, cameras on public buildings, license-plate readers and handheld, body-worn or vehicle-mounted devices used by law enforcement. Now, Stuckart is reworking the ordinance to include leased equipment and to require departments to write protocols for data-gathering technologies they’re using, outlining things like how the data will be used and how long it will be stored. Stuckart says the new ordinance will go before the full council for a vote Aug. 19. — HEIDI GROOVER

STILL WAITING

Washington state is providing services and supports to less than half of all eligible PEOPLE WITH DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES, according to a new report from the state auditor’s office. Approximately 20,500 people currently receive services from the Developmental Disabilities Administration. The DDA provides individuals with intellectual disabilities and neurological disorders — such as autism, cerebral palsy and epilepsy — housing, medical care and job training. However, more than 15,000 people with developmental disabilities have been waiting, on average, three and a half years for services from the state. Another 46,200 eligible individuals have never even asked for help, perhaps because “they believe the wait list is too long or because they do not know how to apply,” state auditor Troy Kelley says in a statement. Although Washington spends more than $900 million a year on these programs, the report concludes that the Legislature “does not adequately fund services for people with developmental disabilities” nor are funds distrib-

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Anticipating a $4 million shortfall, Spokane Mayor DAVID CONDON released on Tuesday the broad outlines of the city’s 2014 budget, promising to add 25 new police officers and raise property taxes 2 percent to pay for new squad cars. The $2.3 million to pay for new officers comes in part from $800,000 in administrative cuts Chief Frank Straub is making in the police department. The city will also redirect $1.4 million originally budgeted to pay down other debts. Along with public safety, the mayor says he’s emphasizing street maintenance and capital spending for things like police and fire equipment. The city plans to increase spending on street maintenance by 50 percent, funded in part by selling rights of way to the utilities department to use for storm water management. Despite growing sales tax revenues, the expected shortfall comes in part from increasing employee health care and insurance costs. Chief Financial Officer Gavin Cooley says cuts and savings across the city will close the gap, with the biggest chunk coming from $1 million in savings from a pension fund for fire department employees hired before 1977 (the city will pay less into the fund each year, but benefits will remain stable because the fund has accrued more than it’s paid out). Elsewhere, eight to 15 positions will be cut through layoffs or closing vacant positions, he says. The administration will gather citizen input before sending a final, more detailed budget to the council in October for their consideration. — HEIDI GROOVER

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NEWS | PARKING

Seattle, for one, estimates disabled parking abuse costs the city $1.4 million a year.

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BY MEGAN PETERSEN hey’re the people who park in the designated spot just for a minute, just one. Or those who stash the placard in the glove box and use it when they’re out of change for a meter. Or those who borrow placards indefinitely, continue using expired ones or even counterfeit and sell them on the streets. They’re disabled parking abusers, and they’re all over Washington. Abuse is so common that the Legislature appointed a work group to tackle the issue. Although the action stems from rampant handicapped parking fraud in cities like Vancouver and especially Seattle, Spokane sees

its fair share of abuse. “All you have to do is walk around downtown, and there are blocks just full of handicapped parkers,” says Jan Quintrall, Spokane’s director of business and development services, which oversees parking enforcement. The density of disabled parking placards is making people skeptical. “It’s heavy enough that it seems unlikely that all that usage is legitimate,” says Toby Olson, executive secretary for the Governor’s Committee on Disability Issues and Employment, part of the group convened by the Legislature.

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The work group, which began meeting in June, is charged with finding out exactly how widespread disabled parking abuse is and strategizing how to stop it, according to its spokeswoman Christine Anthony. The group will set stricter standards for medical professionals who write recommendations for placards and establish a public system to check the validity of placards. The work group’s deadline to submit its findings, recommendations and a draft for legislative action is Dec. 1. For some, the issue is more than a place to park. Theresa Kennedy, an independent living advocate with Spokane’s Coalition of Responsible Disabled, says the abuse is a societal blow to the disabled. “It’s sending the message that you don’t have a place in our community,” she says. “It sends the message [to] the person who needs special accommodations that they don’t deserve to have that accommodation.” Disabled parking placards and license plates are meant for people with a variety of disabilities, ranging from chronic arthritis to acute sensitivity to vehicle emissions to inability to walk more than 500 feet unassisted. A physician or registered nurse has to determine that the condition is serious enough to be eligible for the parking placard, which disabled drivers get for free from the Department of Licensing. With a handicapped placard, drivers can legally park for free in any public street parking, including metered parking, or in designated handicapped parking spaces. “In parts of the state where on-street parking is expensive or at a premium, placards usually have a lot of value,” Olson says. In some parts, it can even be nefarious — Olson says some people have gone as far as stealing or counterfeiting placards to get the best or free parking. But most abusers are friends or family members of disabled drivers who use the placards illegally, with or without their knowledge, or people who use their own expired placards. “By far [the abuse in Spokane] is people using someone else’s placard, whether it’s innocent or not,” Quintrall says. Quintrall says identifying phony placards isn’t cut-and-dry — the appearance of the placards isn’t very uniform (they can vary by placard type, state or date issued), people get crafty with concealing expiration dates, and license numbers and some disabilities are invisible to the naked eye. Parking enforcement officers often have to confront handicapped parkers about their disabilities. Handicapped parking abuse can cost the city parking revenues, and can cost other drivers if the city raises parking rates to compensate for what it’s losing to people parking for free, Olson says. Seattle estimates that disabled parking abuse costs the city $1.4 million annually. Quintrall says her department is looking into the cost of the abuse in downtown Spokane. Although Spokane probably doesn’t see as much of a deficit as Seattle, she says handicapped parking abuse still makes a mark on downtown. “The whole purpose of metered parking is flow,” Quintrall says. “If we clog up the downtown core with handicap parking, that hurts the stores. … We need to keep commerce flowing.” 

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NEWS | TRANSPORTATION

Message Not Sent Idaho’s ban on texting while driving didn’t actually do much — and may have caused harm BY DANIEL WALTERS

aylor Sauer’s final Facebook status update predicted her sudden, violent death. “I can’t discuss this now. Driving and facebooking is not safe! Haha,” she wrote. Shortly thereafter, the 18-year-old Caldwell, Idaho, teen rear-ended a slow tanker truck at 80 miles an hour on Idaho’s Interstate 84, then was hit by another semi-truck. Idaho State Police says there was no evidence of any braking, but cellphone records showed she had been posting from the phone about once every 90 seconds. Her death sent her parents, Clay and Shauna, on a mission to reduce texting while driving. “We just thought, there’s no way we can put our heads in the sand and pretend this is not what happened,” Shauna Sauer says. “I think she would be glad for what we’ve done with it.” Amid tears and hoarse voices, they spoke at high schools and went on the Today show with their daughter’s story. They urged the Idaho Legislature to pass a law banning texting while driving. In previous years, legislators like former state Rep. Raul Labrador had fought against such a ban, arguing that since Idaho already had an inattentive driving law, a texting law wasn’t needed. But in 2012, possibly thanks to the Sauers’ testimony, a law was passed. Over a year after it passed, however, evidence suggests the law might not have worked liked the Sauers had hoped.

o start with, the law appears to have barely been enforced. Stu Miller, spokesman for the Kootenai County Sheriff, says his office and the Coeur d’Alene Police only wrote 16 citations combined in that first year. The Idaho State Police only wrote 66 tickets. By contrast, during that same period the state police wrote 471 tickets for inattentive driving. It’s not an easy law to enforce. Dialing up to 10 digits to make a phone call while driving is still legal, where tapping out “kthnxbye” to send

20 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

a text message is not legal. It’s hard for a police officer, looking in through a car window, to tell the difference. Proving it in court can require subpoenaing records from phone companies. So instead, Idaho State Police spokeswoman Teresa Baker says police are more likely to write up texters with another violation, one easy to spot, like failure to signal or an improper lane change. After all, the anti-texting law carries only minor consequences. “It’s a non-moving violation,” says Baker. “It doesn’t put points on the driver’s record. It doesn’t increase the driver’s insurance rate.” The fine for texting while driving is a mere $85, while the easier-to-enforce inattentive driving violation is punishable by up to 90 days in jail and a $300 fine. Sauer says the original bill presented to her was tougher on violators, but she saw it watered down as it made its way through the Legislature. “It’s a little slap on the hand, it really honestly is,” Shauna Sauer says. “But at least it’s something. … Sometimes you’ve got to take baby steps.” She’d prefer the state impose a hands-free driving rule. But Craig Chamberlin, spokesman for the Spokane County Sheriff’s office, says Washington state’s hands-free driving law appears to have lost its initial power. “When it first became a primary offense in July of 2010, you barely saw anyone on their cellphone or texting,” Chamberlin says. But drivers eventually picked the habit back up. “I see people becoming more creative in how they’re hiding their phones. You see a lot of people driving down the road with a kink in the left side of their neck because they’re holding their phone [with their heads].”

eanwhile, studies of distracted driving have come to surprising conclusions. In 2005, as society was becoming saturated by cellphones, the Insurance Institute

for Highway Safety interviewed drivers after crashes and compared their statements with phone company data. They found it didn’t matter if the device was hands-free or handheld: Drivers were four times more likely to crash while on the phone or sending a text message. With the use of cellphones skyrocketing, experts braced themselves for an epidemic of vehicular disaster. Instead the opposite happened. “Over the last 10 years, police-reported crashes have been going down as cellphone use has dramatically increased,” says Russ Rader, spokesman for the Institute. “Researchers can’t account for the fact that the wave of crashes we expected didn’t materialize.” Yet while the overall trend has been fewer crashes, in three out of every four states that enacted no-texting laws, something even stranger happened: The number of crashes went up. “In order to avoid detection, drivers may be moving the phone below window level, to their lap, to hide their fact that they’re texting,” Rader says. “New laws may not be an effective strategy at all.” But new technology might be. Volvo is using a “City Safety System” in its cars, which automatically applies the brakes in slow-moving vehicles if the vehicles ahead suddenly slow down. And Sauer just spoke at a press conference last week for the Ford Motor Company, announcing technology for young drivers that wouldn’t turn on the radio unless the driver’s seatbelt was buckled, would send alert parents if their child was speeding,5and would allowdowntown min from parents to block most text mes55min fromdowntown downtown spokane • eight taps •minfrom sages and calls on their child’s spokane ••eight spokane eighttaps taps•• beers handcrafted on cellphone whenever the child beers beers handcraftedon on • handcrafted was driving. site • patio seating site • patio seating • site • patio seating • “I got all choked up thinking trivia thursdays trivia thursdays trivia thursdays about this big company that would make a car that would [protect] more of our kids,” Sauer says. Yet kids aren’t the only ones at risk. Morning drivers of all ages have stubble to shave, makeup to put on, fast food to eat, coffee to spill, kids to yell at in the backseat, radio knobs to adjust and daydreams to get lost in. 2204 2204 east east mallon mallon ave ave “If people2204 think this is just a thu–fri 4–9, thu–fri 4–9,sat sat2–9 2–9 east mallon ave teenage problem, they’re 4–9, nuts,” sat 52–9 50099..447744..00772222 thu–fri Sauer says. “This is a social ii r nn gg oo aa tt bb rr ee ww ii nn gg .. cc oo mm o 5 0 9 . 4 7 4 . 0 7 2ro 2 problem.”  facebook.com/irongoatbrewing facebook.com/irongoatbrewing idanielw@inlander.com rongoatbrewing.com

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silence of the

hives America’s honey bees are dying in droves, and colony collapse disorder is the least of our worries BY DEANNA PAN

ric Olson is giddy as he wanders the California cow pasture where he winters his honey bees. The spring season should pay off spectacularly. It’s early February of 2011. He’s in Waterford, about 20 minutes east of Modesto, for the state’s annual almond bloom, the largest pollination event in the world. Olson is 68, white-haired and sturdy, and with more than 13,000 colonies, he’s by far the largest commercial beekeeper in Washington state. Renting out his hives at $150 a pop, he stands to walk away with a cool million. But as he and his crew begin peering into hive boxes, Olson feels a lump in his throat. There should be tens of thousands of worker bees — gathering pollen, secreting wax, building perfect hexagonal cells — but here, between wood and wire frames still oozing honey, only the queen and her brood hang on amber-colored comb. One box after the other: Empty. Hundreds of them. Olson lifts lids at random. Empty again. And the next. And the next, save for a few dozen bees clustered in a measly fist-sized clump. Those hives are basically good as dead. It takes Olson and his crew six weeks, working 10-hour shifts, to separate the dead hives from the live ones: Of the 13,578 hives he trucked to California, 9,000 — nearly two-thirds — are gone, costing him $1.4 million. At the end of the day, after Olson gets back to his room at the Holiday Inn Express, he falls apart. “There’s no worse feeling in the world than seeing all your bees dead,” he says. “You get attached to these little buggers, and you just feel like you’ve let them down, and you have.” Colony collapse disorder, an enigmatic phenomenon, is now

a catch-all term for unprecedented and large-scale honey bee disappearances. Twenty years ago, it wasn’t uncommon for beekeepers to lose 10 to 20 percent of their hives, but by the spring of 2007, migratory beekeepers in several states began reporting crippling and inexplicable losses, varying between 30 and 90 percent of their stock. There’s no single explanation for this rapid decline, or miracle cure to reverse it. Since 2006, roughly one in three honey bee colonies in the United States, on average, haven’t survived the winter. If honey bees are the proverbial canaries in the coal mines, as many scientists believe, their decline may portend more pollinator die-offs, imperiling our ecosystems and threatening global food security. Some 75 percent of all crops rely on animals and insects for pollination. Without them, we’d be stuck with a diet of wheat, corn and rice. Dwindling honey bee populations may mean smaller harvests, rising food prices and fewer apiarists willing to stake their livelihoods on a species with such a precarious future. It’s been seven years, and beekeepers, farmers, entomologists, regulators and environmentalists are still scrambling for answers as all of their fates, and much of ours, are tangled with the vitality of the honey bee.

“No smoking gun”

Stories of bees vanishing from seemingly healthy hives emerged long before the alarm was sounded about colony collapse in late 2006. Researchers have identified at least 18 isolated episodes of unusually high colony losses as far back as the late 19th century. ...continued on next page

AUGUST 8, 2013 INLANDER 23

COVER STORY | BEES

What’s That Buzz?

Honey bees are often confused with predatory yellow jackets, weaving through soda cans and sandwiches at your backyard barbecue. Chances are that wasn’t a honey bee that stung you — or even a feral bumblebee, whose numbers have dropped a stunning 96 percent within the past two decades. Here’s how you tell the difference: European honey bee: Brought to the U.S. by 16th century Spanish explorers, European or Western honey bees are commercially raised for honey production and crop pollination. They’re gentle, slender and fuzzy with clearly defined black stripes on their abdomen. Africanized honey bee: Virtually indistinguishable from European honey bees in appearance, these “killer bees” are known for their defensive and aggressive behavior. Imported to Brazil in 1956, Africanized bees have spread to southern parts of the U.S., including Texas, Arizona and California. Bumblebee: These wild bees are generally larger than honey bees. They’re wide, plump, and hairy with bright patches of color on their thorax and abdomen. Unlike honey bees, they lack a barbed stinger, so they can sting more than once. Yellow jacket: A type of wasp, they’re similar in size to honey bees, but with jagged black and yellow bands on their abdomen and a narrower waist. They’re carnivorous, unlike honey bees and bumblebees, and have a hearty appetite for human food. — DEANNA PAN

“SILENCE OF THE HIVES,” CONTINUED... In an old trade journal for beekeepers called Gleanings in Bee Culture, a concerned reader wrote in to describe May Disease, “a new malady” in which bees across Colorado “completely evaporated” over the course of a few days in May of 1891 and 1896. “[M]any said it was high winds. Others said it was the smelter smoke that killed them,” he wrote. “It remains yet a complete mystery.” The honey bee population in the United States has in fact been declining for the past few decades, even as the agriculture industry’s reliance on pollinators has grown. Since 1947, the number of managed colonies in the U.S. has dropped from a high of 5.9 million to roughly 2.5 million today. Every year, beekeepers like Olson truck 1.6 million hives — two-thirds of all commercial colonies — across the

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country to pollinate 760,000 acres of California almond groves. After last winter’s bee die-off, almond growers risked not having enough bees to guarantee their yields. A federal report published this past May concludes that the current survival rate of bee colonies is so low that regulators aren’t confident in their ability to meet pollination demands. As the USDA’s top bee researcher Jeffery Pettis says: “We are one poor weather event or high winter bee loss away from a pollination disaster.” Dennis vanEngelsdorp, an entomologist from University of Maryland who surveys U.S. colony declines, agrees. “We’re right at the brink of having shortages of movable colonies in the U.S,” he says. “One in every three bites we eat is directly or indirectly pollinated by honey bees. … If we do have that [shortage], we won’t be able to produce

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Olson’s Honey beekeeper Matthew Shakespear inspects a bee hive at their Moses Lakes facility. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO apples, almonds and a whole variety of crops in this country.” As colony collapse deaths climbed, the urgency to pinpoint the cause grew desperate. People blamed pesticides, fungicides, viruses, cellphone radiation, genetically modified crops, global warming and even, as the New York Times reported in 2007, “a secret plot by Russia or Osama bin Laden to bring down American agriculture.” “Everyone was hoping for this one single answer,” says Washington State University entomologist Steven Sheppard. “But by about 2009, 2010, people realized there doesn’t seem to be a single answer. … There’s no smoking gun.” Most scientists now agree that a combination

6 th

of long-existing factors — pesticides, fungicides, pathogens, malnutrition, parasites and monocultures — are weakening our domesticated honey bees. The University of Maryland’s vanEngelsdorp says colony collapse disorder isn’t the problem it once was. “What we see are a lot of dying colonies or dwindling, rather than collapsing,” he explains. “One way to perhaps think about it is that it’s just been an attrition of quality of life for the bees,” says Sheppard. “The overarching and more important concept is the need to be concerned with colony health.” Recent declines in bee populations are a re...continued on next page

A n n u a l

S e p te m b er 08, 2013

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COVER STORY | BEES

“SILENCE OF THE HIVES,” CONTINUED... flection of our constantly changing agricultural industry. Not only is trucking hives across the country stressful for bees, but congregating them in massive holding yards is a quick way to spread disease. Farmers are also treating their plants with a merry-go-round of pesticides and fungicides, and honey bees are now suffering from long-term exposure. Indeed, as the parasitic Varroa mite — the single most destructive honey bee pest worldwide — builds up resistance to pesticides, new chemical treatments are developed that may have even worse effects on bees. “The number of beekeepers who have gone out of business is a very long list,” says Sheppard. “Living in a chemical treadmill and doing everything the way you’ve done it before is just not working.”

Public enemy No. 1

Fifty thousand bumblebees dropped dead in a Target parking lot in Oregon this past June. The scene at the shopping center looked something like a war zone. “Yellow-faced bees fell from the trees, twitching on their backs or wandering in tight circles on the asphalt,” described the Oregonian newspaper. “A few dead bumblebees even clung to linden flowers, while hundreds littered the lot.” A few days earlier, a landscaper had doused 55 linden trees in the parking lot with an insecticide called Safari. In response, the Oregon Department of Agriculture instituted temporary restrictions on more than a dozen different insecticides containing dinotefuran, Safari’s active ingredient. Environmentalists felt vindicated: The culprit

behind the massacre was part of a class of nicotinederived pesticides known as “neonicotinoids” — the most high-profile suspect in colony die-offs. Introduced by the German chemical behemoth Bayer in the mid-1990s, neonicotinoids are the fastest growing class of insecticides in the world. You can find them in your local hardware store or garden center under names like Bayer 2-1 Systemic Rose and Flower Care. “Neonics,” as they’re often called, are systemic insecticides: Once applied, the plant absorbs the insecticide chemicals, which circulate throughout its tissue. Neonics work by attacking the central nervous system of any insect that feeds on it. Evidence suggests neonics disorient bees, impair their memory and reduce their capacity to forage for food. Some scientists, environmental advocates and beekeepers believe that low-level exposure from

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contaminated pollen and dust are weakening and slowly killing our bees. “It dumbs them down. They don’t seem to learn as well. They don’t seem to interact as well and function as well,” says Mark Emrich, an Olympia-based beekeeper and president of the Washington State Beekeepers Association, who unsuccessfully organized a petition asking the state Department of Agriculture to restrict the use of the pesticides in urban Thurston County. “Our educated guess is the fact that these neonics hit the scene at the same time we started gathering all these losses.” There’s no question that neonics, when administered to bees in laboratory settings, are extremely toxic, but field data is scant. After all, most honey bee colonies as a whole forage on multiple sources of nectar and pollen, and according to WSU’s Sheppard, it’s unclear if neonics alone have any detectable harmful effects on honey bees in the real world. But the lack of evidence hasn’t stopped public backlash. This past April, the European Union, which is also contending with colony declines, voted for a twoyear ban on neonicotinoids. Three months later, Reps. John Conyers, D-Mich., and Earl Blumenauer, D-Ore., followed Europe’s lead and introduced the “Saving America’s Pollinators Act of 2013” to suspend the use of neonics until the EPA conducts a full review. Seeking to eliminate the use of these insecticides, beekeepers from Minnesota, along with a handful of environmental advocacy nonprofits, are suing the EPA. There’s “a beauty and a danger to these systemic insecticides,” Sheppard explains. Since neonicotinoids persist in plants for months, they reduce the frequency of exposure for humans spraying the chemicals and organisms running into them. “The downside is: Where is that level of exposure to bees that actually harms the colony?

That’s a little bit muddled.” And if we ban this class of pesticides, Sheppard wonders, “What’s going to take their place?” If the outsized public interest regarding neonics has accomplished one thing, it’s a flurry of research on the pesticides’ effects. This fall, Sheppard will lead his own study, sampling pesticide levels in hives from urban and rural areas in the Olympia region. His findings may prove what Emrich and other Thurston County beekeepers have been saying all along — that neonics are indeed a problem for city beekeepers — or that they’re another red

“We’re trying to breed bees that can deal with these pathogens a bit on their own,” says Sheppard. “Eventually, I think what we’re going to need to do as beekeepers is to develop bees that are more resistant or tolerant to mites, and then use less chemical treatments in the hives.”

“let them be”

Mike Durst doesn’t listen to “any of that trash”— the latest study, the hottest theory, the finger-pointing and name-calling from beekeepers, agrichemical companies,

” That’ll bring you a little closer to Jesus, having 60,000 bees on you. herring in a hunt for answers. Still, there are other threats to bees, and so Sheppard, who specializes in genetics and was part of an international research team that sequenced the honey bee genome, wants to build a stronger bee. He and his WSU research partner, Susan Cobey, are creating a honey bee sperm bank — gathering semen samples from honey bee subspecies in Italy, the eastern Alps and Georgian mountains — so that beekeepers eventually might cross-breed more robust and resilient bees.

greenies and scientists. “I know chemicals have to affect them,” he says. “You don’t have to be a scientist to figure that out. … So I try to let common sense be the guiding rule there, and then you know, let them be.” Durst (which everyone calls him) operates his own commercial apiary, Mark T. Durst and Sons, with his wife, father-in-law and a handful of friends, near the Fairchild Air Force Base in Medical Lake, Wash. He has ...continued on next page

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broad shoulders, sinewy arms and yellow pollen in the grooves of his fingers. He turns 43 this month, so he’s young by beekeeper standards. He squints beneath the shadow of his olive drab cap and talks high-speed from the side of his mouth in an even Appalachian drawl. He’s also wearing a full bee suit, which he normally doesn’t, except when he’s moving hives. That’s another rule. Last spring a pallet of hives on the back of his tractor snapped, sending a colony of agitated, cold and tired honey bees tumbling over his bare face and hands. They stung the snot out of him. “That’ll bring you a little closer to Jesus, having 60,000 bees on you,” he says. Durst doesn’t feed his bees corn syrup, just sugar water when their food stores are low. He pollinates as locally as possible and in organic orchards. He doesn’t treat his bees with any chemicals. Instead he makes grease patties out of sugar and essential oils to ward off any mites. And he hasn’t had any mite problems. Since he began beekeeping in 2006, he hasn’t had any colony collapse problems either. His winter losses average between 10 and 20 percent. “You can’t do what I’ve done and see what I’ve seen and not care about acting in a positive way,” he says. “I don’t wanna jinx myself, but my hands-off theory seems to be working.” A Navy vet and third generation beekeeper, Durst learned how to extract honey, rear queens and graft eggs from his grandfather in the West Virginia panhandle when he was 8 years old. After he retired from the the military, he worked a string of odd jobs that he couldn’t stick with. So he started beekeeping and says it’s like “therapy for me.” Durst won’t say exactly how many hives he owns — “because it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there” — but here in Medical Lake, he’s got 180 hives pollinating wildflowers and weeds on 31 acres for the upcoming honey harvest. In the holding yard, Durst tenderly pries honey-slicked frames apart with a dull 10-inchlong blade that looks like a painter’s palette knife.

He’s careful about stacking the boxes, one on top of the other, so he’s doesn’t crush any bees hovering in between. “Between the explosions and getting hit in the melon so many times, sometimes I can’t even speak straight,” he says. “So you knows it’s just nice to be able to come back and see reality, and see how they work together and say, ‘Hey man, you know, if these insects can get it together, so can I.’” Some days he’ll sit on an overturned bucket and watch his bees buzz madly above purple clover, vetch and phlox. In the orchard, bees queue up for a drink on shaved pieces of oak floating in a small pool of water. He crouches over them. “Look up at the horizon of the flowers,” he says, pointing. “Look at the world we’re in.” As one bee slips into a pool, Durst gently scoops it out with his finger and back onto a floating board.

The beekeeper effect

After 33 years in the business, Eric Olson didn’t know whether he’d hang on to his house or his orchard. In 1977, Olson’s parents sold him their Yakima ranch after he got home from an Air Force tour in Guam. He bought his first package of honey bees in 1979 (seven out of 10 of his colonies died), and in 1980, he rented his first set of hives. But by the spring of 2011, having lost more than 60 percent of his bees, Olson figured he was bankrupt. He had a choice to make: “Do you keep on going or give up and quit?” Olson didn’t want to go out like that. So he took a loan from the bank, got some help from the USDA’s Emergency Livestock Assistance program, and invested the rest of his savings into buying more bees. He got an idea: A friend and mentor of his had long been wintering his hives in potato cellars in Idaho, and he’d never experienced the big die-offs plaguing the

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Medical Lake beekeeper Mike Durst: “I don’t wanna jinx myself, but my hands-off theory seems to be working.”

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

industry. 130 acres of sunflowers. The following year, Olson didn’t truck his Shakespear smiles gently, often and reflexbees to California in November for the annual ively, as he works his bees, calming them first almond bloom in February. Instead, he leased with a smoker before he pulls out sticky frames three controlled-atmosphere storage rooms from and removes polymer Apivar strips, a chemical the Upper Valley Fruit warehouse a few miles treatment for killing mites. down the road. He kept the temperature at 40 “There are several places out there, where degrees, lowered oxygen levels and increased you read, ‘Bees have been around for thousands carbon dioxide, forcing his bees into a deep sleep. of years. They can manage on their own. They’ll For 60 days, before daylight and after dark, he take care of themselves,’ which is true,” he says, checked on his girls, monitoring the gases and “But in nature, when they’re left to themselves, temperatures in the engine room outside. only about 20 percent of every swarm that leaves Coming out of storage in January 2012, he the hive survives through the next year. … knew his bees would be good, but not this good: Really, beekeepers can have a big effect on the His losses totaled 4.4 percent. He did even betsurvivability of the hive.” ter last year, losing an unheard-of 3.3 For Shakespear, the future of percent of his hives. beekeeping isn’t all “doom and gloom.” “It was thrilling. We’re excited. In fact, he sees opportunity to experiWe’re tickled pink,” says Olson. “Like I Send comments to ment, to get on the cutting edge. Olsaid, I did not want to go out that way. I editor@inlander.com. son, for one, does his bookkeeping in a did not want to go out that way.” spiral-bound notebook. But Shakespear WSU’s Sheppard thinks the higher hopes to buy a computer and software levels of CO2 may have decreased the bees’ program that could help track his hives as they metabolic rate, causing them to eat less and age move across the country, ensure that they’ve been more slowly. Now Olson is working with WSU checked in on and fed. If beekeepers are going to to study the effects of controlling the temperature survive, they have to innovate. and atmospheric gases on indoor wintering bees. Back in the holding yard, Shakespear pulls In two years, Olson more than recouped his out a frame covered in dark leathery wax. Somelosses. This summer, he had an all-time high of thing smells faintly of spoiled milk and rotten 18,713 hives spread between Mott, N.D., and eggs. He calls this a classic case of “beekeeper western Washington, down in Ritzville and Umaneglect.” tilla, Ore., and up to Odessa and Coulee City. “This yard fell through the cracks,” he says. Olson is at the top of his game. But he’s It’s one of the downsides of managing so many 70 now. On Jan. 1, 2016, Olson will hand over hives. operations to 37-year-old Matthew Shakespear, There’s no queen in sight and a dispropora commercial airline pilot who got hooked on tionate number of male drones. beekeeping. “What’d you do to me, Fermin?!” he shouts, Shakespear (the Bard’s uncle is his 17-generwith facetious exasperation, to the other beeations-back grandfather) has been a beekeeper keeper in the field. with Olson’s Honey for six months. Before that, Shakespear pulls out another frame. And he ran his own small-scale operation. He’s tall another. Only a few dozen workers cling to the and soft-spoken with milky blue eyes and short dry, rust-colored comb. He sighs and moves on to gray hair. It’s 98 degrees in Olson’s Moses Lake the next hive.  holding yard, where his bees are pollinating some deannap@inlander.com

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Change Agent Sandpoint Renaissance man Ben Olson takes the city’s famous seamonster to the stage BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

en Olson hasn’t stopped pushing for social change in his native Sandpoint; he’s just altered the form it takes. Instead of rolling the rock uphill — like Sisyphus in the Greek myth or Albert Camus’ existential antihero — Olson has channeled his passion and angst into his music, his photography, and especially his writing. “I have this stubborn, atavistic desire to keep my town real, to forbid any changes that pull us closer to douchebaggery, to resist the influence of money and development,” says Olson. His involvement with the Sandpoint Reader from 2004-08 (the newspaper closed in 2012) honed his journalistic skills and provided a ready forum for his musings (some would say rants). His reputation as a gadfly climaxed in 2008 during an only slightly tongue-in-cheek Airsoft pistol duel between himself and former city councilman John T. Reuter. Now his activism comes in the form of writing, says Olson, whose first theatrical production, Death ...continued on next page

Ben Olson, far right, and the cast of The Hunt for the Pend Oreille Paddler.

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of a Small Town in the West, was about a rich developer planning to bulldoze the town. Consider his band, Harold’s IGA, named for a longtime Sandpoint grocery store leveled to make way for a behemoth bank building. After Death, Olson lightened up a bit with Sperm! The Musical, highlighting infertility, but also touchy subjects like abortion and genetic modification. Although Olson says he doesn’t like musicals, music is another matter. He writes music, sings — slightly nasal and raspy but pleasant, like weathered, rough-hewn wood — and plays guitar for Harold’s IGA. They perform locally, occasionally in Portland or Seattle, sometimes featuring up-and-comer Holly McGarry. Some songs, like “Western Heroes?” carry political overtones about historically important and controversial figures, such as “Unabomber” Ted Kaczynski and Industrial Workers of the World founder Bill Haywood. Others, like “Lighthouse Man,” might remind you of Jakob Dylan’s overcast soulful stylings, peppered with unusual instruments like the xylophone, accordion, ukulele, and banjo. He wrote a few songs for his next production, The Hunt for the Pend Oreille Paddler, which runs Aug. 16-24 at the Panida Theater. It follows four residents of Northsaint (Sandpoint’s doppelgänger), all intent on ferreting out the monster from the lake believed responsible for the death of a local fisherman. The idea for the play came from regional folklore. “There have always been lots of explanations for the supposed lake monster,” says Olson. “A submarine, a giant sturgeon, a strange wave phenomenon, a floating log.” But it was a conversation with someone convinced the creature was real that piqued Olson’s interest in turning the story into a play. It’s rife with campy humor and a few musical numbers, which Olson describes as “fairly absurd, some-

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times lewd, and always atypical for what you would expect in a play.” Olson’s way of railing against the absurdities in life, sometimes, is to embrace them, turn them on their ear. “I don’t want to write a play that is like anything else... in fact, I want to write a play that people who don’t like plays can enjoy,” he says, admitting he had zero theater experience and crediting actor-turned-director Andrew Sorg with being his “ace in the hole.” “He is an inexhaustible force in the theater world who I give full credit to when the play comes out great,” says Olson of Sorg. “I also blame him when it doesn’t.” Like his writing, Olson’s photography is straight-up, unsentimental and a bit quirky, like the black-and-white that photos landed him in the Tinman Gallery’s 2011 “20 Under 40” juried exhibition. “Stylistically, I’ve always been drawn to odd, morose photographic styles” and portraiture like that of Walker Evans and Mike “Disfarmer” Meyer, says Olson, whose interest in photography kicked in with Mark Story’s Living in Three Centuries project. Olson’s job for Story’s photographic catalog of centenarians, which received awards from Photo Review and Lucie International, was to travel across the U.S. in search of subjects, then help Story shoot the photos. “It’s all part of the same output; photography, writing, playing music... I’ve got something inside that needs to get out,” says Olsen. “Someday, when I merge them all together into one final form, it might be good enough to break down the barriers. For now, I’m content to keep learning, keep honing my craft.”  The Hunt for the Pend Oreille Paddler • Panida Theater • 300 N. First Ave., Sandpoint, Idaho • Fri-Sat, Aug. 16-17 and Fri-Sat, Aug. 23-24 at 7:30 pm • $10 advance/$12 at the door • (208) 263-9191 • panida.org

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n the pilot episode, Walter White, hero and villain of Breaking Bad, starts cooking meth after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the cancer wasn’t the reason. Cancer was just the excuse. This isn’t a story about a good man turned bad by circumstances. This is the story of small sins and petty villainy — pride, anger, entitlement — germinating and growing into the purest form of evil. (99.1 percent pure) Simultaneously, Breaking Bad (9 pm Sundays, AMC) is about what it means to be a man. Rather, it’s about what a man thinks it means to be a man. Walt begins the first season as an emasculated chemistry teacher with an embarrassing dad moustache, intimidated by his brash, macho DEA brother Hank Schrader. But both change. Walt finds his passion, his talent, his confidence in the artistry of cooking meth. He creates an alter ego — the ruthless and fearless meth king Heisenberg — partly as an alias, partly as a rebellion against his wimpy self-image. Then he evolves into his creation. Masculinity becomes his mantra. “A man provides,” another character tells Walt with a soft-spoken gravitas, seducing him back into the meth game. “And he does it even when he’s not appreciated, or respected, or even loved.” A man controls. A man is feared. A man is respected — as a husband, as a father, as a genius, as a king, as a monster. A man makes money and cooks meth and deals death and builds empires. A man sells his soul to please his ego. A man knocks, and demands that doors open. But Hank makes the opposite journey. He faces

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He’s the one who knocks. down his obsession with work, his post-traumatic stress disorder, the problems in his marriage. He’s crippled, and learns to drop the swagger. He becomes more tender, more humble, more willing to sacrifice his self-image to do the right thing. Breaking Bad is the story of a villain, but make no mistake, Hank is the story’s hero. And, like two 747s crashing in mid-air, those trajectories — hero against villain — will finally collide this season. Boom. — DANIEL WALTERS Breaking Bad final season premiere • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • Sun, Aug. 11 at 7 pm; doors open at 6 pm • $5 minimum donation • bingcrosbytheater.com • 227-7683

For Your Consideration by Lisa Waananen

10 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday August 17, 2013 Riverfront Park The Region’s Largest Multicultural Celebration Family-oriented and FREE

FEATURING: Cultural Villages Interactive Children’s Center Free K-8 School Supplies (before noon) Job & Education Fair Amerigroup Health Fair

STAMP ART | You don’t have to be a philatelist to appreciate the latest series of stamps from the U.S. Postal Service. Check out Tejana star LYDIA MENDOZA and her 12-string guitar, strikingly bold against the red, white and blue of the Texas flag. The first in the Music Icons series that honors American music pioneers, the stamp was designed by Neal Ashby and Patrick Donohue, Grammy-nominated graphic designers (yes, there’s a packaging category) who specialize in visual design work for the music industry. The second in the series features the handsome, brooding face of Johnny Cash on an appropriately black background, and Ray Charles is next.

INSTAGRAM | Some celebrities use Instagram to show how they’re just ordinary folks like us. Oh look, it’s Jessica Alba getting lunch from a food truck! Taylor Swift’s cute cat! And so forth. Singersongwriter CHUCK RAGAN uses Instagram to show us that his life is just as amazing and outrageously American as we always imagined. He and his two rugged chocolate labs traverse a world of blue skies and scenic streams, where the fish are enormous and always biting. It’s like some fever dream cross between Hemingway and an Eddie Bauer catalogue, like America’s answer to Vladimir Putin posing shirtless while doing manly outdoors stuff. Nice try, Putin — this is how it’s done.

BOOK | Back home in London to see her dying father, Alice is a twentysomething wanderer who finds comfort in looking up plane tickets on the Internet. Daniel, middle-aged and seeking his lost daughter, is homeless in a more literal way. These two narrate alternating chapters in the debut novel by British writer Sarah Butler, TEN THINGS I’VE LEARNT ABOUT LOVE, and share a connection that drives the story. Enjoyment of this book depends heavily on whether you’ve been to London (I haven’t) and how you feel about descriptive scenes begging to become an indie film starring Ellen Page. But the themes of family and home keep resurfacing in my mind — it’s an inquisitive novel, and its pieces of symbolism fit together in intricate ways.

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he three actresses are passing around a fake joint. As each inhales deeply from the rolled-up paper, they start to cough and giggle and say their designated lines. The scene is so realistic the whole room can’t help but catch a theatrical contact high. Rehearsals for 9 to 5: The Musical run, strangely, from 10 am to 6 pm every day but

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Sunday. As the Coeur d’Alene Summer Theatre only has two weeks to put the entire production together, time is of the essence. This day is three days in. Rehearsal is in a side orchestra room, as the ongoing Romance, Romance’s set is currently taking over the North Idaho College theater stage. You can truly feel the camaraderie in the room as actors sideline

9 to 5 is based on the 1980 film of the same title and became a musical in 2009. the temporary stage waiting to be called to their next scene. “That’s summer stock for you,” says the show’s musical director Joseph Bates. “You go into a tiny world and the rest of the world ceases. We’re a quick family and then get divorced quickly.” Based on the hit 1980 comedy (currently streaming on Netflix if you’d like a brush-up), starring Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, 9 to 5: The Musical was reinvented for the

stage in 2009 with Parton writing the songs. Playing the three leading ladies are Vanessa Miller as Violet (Tomlin), Darcy Wright as Doralee (Parton) and Charissa Bertels as Judy (Fonda). While the professional actresses had never met before this week, their chemistry onstage sings. “I’ve never been in a scene where it’s a girl gathering,” says Miller during a quick break. “Exploring these female relationships is an interesting dynamic because we’ve all had these kinds of life experiences with our girlfriends.” “Theater people are so open,” Bertels continues. “That’s why it’s so easy for us to connect.” While Miller makes her home as an actor and teacher in Seattle, Bertels and Wright come to CDA Summer Theatre from New York. They all agree playing characters made famous by others is always a daunting task. “My performance will have hints of Dolly Parton,” says Wright, originally from Coeur d’Alene. “But it would be insane to try to be her.” But as Parton’s fingerprints are all over the musical, from the big-bosomed character of Doralee to the country-tinged songs that make up the show, it’s hard not to make comparisons. “I was alive in 1980, unlike many of the cast members,” Miller says with a laugh. “So I definitely remember when the film came out. But there are differences between the musical version and the movie — there’s more layers in this.” The basic premise, set in the late ’70s, revolves around three women who are treated horrendously by their boss, a “sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot” (this phrase is a running joke throughout). They hatch a plan to make him pay for what he’s done and take control of the company on their terms. “I’m definitely drawing experiences from my mom,” Bertels says. “She worked in an office very similar to this for a long time and she’s finally retiring.” Both Wright and Miller can relate to having an unfair boss. “This show is all about how women find their survival mode,” Miller says. “Dolly Parton is someone who really knows who she is and that’s what really shines through in this show.” n 9 to 5: The Musical • Aug. 15-18, 7:30 pm; Aug. 18, 2 pm; through Aug. 25 • $25-$40 • Coeur d’Alene Summer Theater • North Idaho College • 1000 Garden Ave., Coeur d’Alene • cdasummertheatre.com • (208) 769-7780

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The Bloodfest Club

J.T. Sutherland, right, and his brother, Noah, take the ax to a donut zombie.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

At Dawn of the Donut, brains and intestines have never been so delicious BY LEAH SOTTILE

y dawn, the rain had turned apocalyptic. Somehow, it was almost fitting that torrential rainstorms drenched Spokane last Friday morning, leaving a trail of car accidents, jackknifed semi-trucks and middle-of-the-roadway swimming pools in its wake. Things were just slightly left of normal — maybe what it will feel like just before the apocalypse happens. Midway up the North Division Street hill, the air smelled of sugar and hot coffee. People walked in twos and threes to join a line ducked under the dripping eaves

36 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

— a line that wrapped from the entrance of a tiny brick building and nearly all the way around to the front again. Cars snaked through the parking lot and down the side street, blinkers blinking, engines turned off. People had been waiting here since the sun came up, but not just to get a fresh donut. No, they could get a donut at one of the other custom, handmade donut shops just minutes from here. These people — moms holding their children, teens on summer vacation, businessmen in Friday casual —

were waiting to get an experience alongside their donut and coffee. You can get a donut anywhere, but at the just-opened Dawn of the Donut, you can eat a fritter, pose for pictures with a zombie mannequin holding a pair of nunchuks, and on this particular day see a guy dressed up like a zombie moaning “DONUT!” while you wait. By 11 — two hours before closing — there wasn’t a donut left in the house.

ust a few days before Dawn of the Donut opens its doors for the first time, Jayy De Boer’s phone is ringing off the hook. The pink-and-white-haired wisp of a woman is no casual zombie fan. She loves zombies. Across the back window of her gold-colored PT Cruiser is a sticker that reads “ZOMBIE ABUSER.” And instead of stick figure-shaped stickers for her family, she’s got zombies. A mom zombie — that’s her — and a little-boy zombie, for her 5-year-old son. So it seemed like fate when De Boer, who recently relocated to Spokane from Moses Lake, saw an ad on Craigslist looking for a manager of a donut shop. She thought, why not apply? That could be fun. When she got on the phone with the Missoulabased owners, Martin and Paige Judnich, she never expected how perfect the job would be for her. “They said, ‘We really like your résumé. How do you feel about zombies?’ ” De Boer says. “I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? Perfect. Let’s do this! Can I start tomorrow?’ ” For the past few months, De Boer has helped make the Judniches’ dream of owning a zombie-themed donut shop a reality. By last Friday — now with black-and-pink hair — the sugary zombie apocalypse they wanted had arrived. Saying that Dawn of the Donut takes a unique angle on donuts is an understatement. Yes, there are “normal” donuts here: your traditional raised and cake donuts that just go for $1 each. But then there are the shop’s specialty donuts ($2) — donuts so delicious that they give any other local donut shop a run for its money. There are donuts covered in M&Ms, raisins, Rice Krispies, Cocoa Puffs and Oreos. The “Brains” are brain-shaped fritters filled with apple or apricot, soft and cakey on the inside with an

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amazing crunch on the outside. There are donuts shaped like coffins, others like little zombies. “We have a donut that looks like brains, we have a donut that looks like intestines,” De Boer says. “We embrace the creativity in the kitchen, and it certainly shows.” The shop also produces a huge line of vegan donuts, something you can’t get anywhere else in Spokane. De Boer laughs while telling about a day a few weeks ago, when she was hanging a mural outside the shop. A car drove by and someone yelled, “You’re going to hell! Buncha freaks!” “I’m sure we’ll have naysayers that think that we’re sadistic or evil. Devil worshippers. The Antichrist. I’m sure we’ll get it all. But those type of people that are so judgmental won’t be our customer base,” she says. “It’s supposed to be fun. Donuts are fun.” n leahs@inlander.com Dawn of the Donut • 3402 N. Division St. • Open daily, 6 am-1 pm • dawnofthedonut.com • 328-1764

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Why URM Food Service?

food | opening

SUPERIOR SERVICE “The High Nooner and URM have been partners for over 20 years...URM has always offered great service, top quality products, and competitive pricing. They have always taken great care of The High Nooner and we would never consider any other food service but URM!”

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38 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

The Blind Buck’s interior features a throw-back feel.

Discreet Drinks

jennifer debarros photo

The Blind Buck delivers a laid-back speakeasy vibe at the edge of downtown BY ANNA CLAUSEN

ain Avenue has been targeted for its “hipness” in the past few years, as stores and restaurants continue to flourish in an unlikely pocket of east downtown Spokane. Apparently this trend is growing, as The Blind Buck becomes the latest bar to pop up in this already happening nightlife area. Like some of its neighbors (Zola, Saranac and Boots, to name a few), The Blind Buck doesn’t skimp on the design elements. At a recent soft opening — the bar opens permanently later this week — guests pointed and checked out all of the quirks and details as if the speakeasy-style drinking establishment was a museum. There are the TVs displaying only black and white, the pennies that make up the bathroom floor, the word “Blind” spelled out in lights in the corner, and of course the eponymous buck on the wall beneath it. You can tell just by looking at the place that a lot of thought and passion went into making the bar just right. The Blind Buck is easy to miss on the outside, given that it’s opening on a stretch of Divi-

sion that’s long been vacant after the neighboring Globe bar closed. This may just add to the bar’s speakeasy-like vibe. You might even feel like you need a password to get in. Once you step inside, an eclectic group of people make up the crowd, from college kids to local hipsters. The easygoing music (think Foster the People and Passion Pit) makes the bar a place where you might actually be able to meet and get to know someone — like the bartenders, also co-owners, who are more than willing to tell customers their stories. One, James Fountain, was a professional snowboarder before he helped open the bar. With its classy, trendy atmosphere, you’d think The Blind Buck’s prices would match the décor, but they don’t. Specialty drinks, which on opening night included Mules served in Mason jars and mint juleps, are $6. Well drinks are just $3. All go great with the Goldfish they use as bar snacks. n The Blind Buck • 204 N. Division St. • 2906229 • theblindbuck.com

FOOD | BUSINESS

Comings and Goings

YOUR DESTINATION FOR GREAT COCKTAILS, FOOD, AND MUSIC HOME OF THE RAINDROP MARTINI

Who’s gone and who’s new in the food and drink scene

Quacking you up Since 1993

BY INLANDER STAFF

NO W OPEN EVERGREEN BISTRO

This north Spokane bistro at 1902 W. Francis Avenue had its grand opening last weekend, debuting its selection of Washington-state-only beers and wine. The light menu features two salads, four appetizers and four 12-by-15 pizzas, plus a build-your-own option. Try the house special: the Evergreen Pizza covered with red sauce, mozzarella, chicken, pine nuts, artichoke and red onion. MELTZ EXTREME GRILLED CHEESE’S MOBILE MELTZ The secret has long been out about Meltz’s brick-and-mortar restaurant that’s known for its creative — and filling — take on the grilled cheese sandwich. Now the savory business is taking its cheesy show on the road with the recent opening of Mobile Meltz, a food truck that’s already attracting fans on the streets of Coeur d’Alene, typically on Kathleen Avenue. Keep an eye on Meltz’s Facebook page (facebook.com/MeltzExtreme) to see where you’ll find the truck.

Admission Free

Uncommon Gifts

After only a couple years in business, Ciao Mambo, the Italian eatery on the west end of downtown Spokane, abruptly announced its closure, and the restaurant’s parent company soon announced it would reopen as a different restaurant. Ciao Mambo was part of a regional chain that includes operating eateries in the Montana cities of Billings, Missoula and Whitefish. The same company announced that the vacated space will become a MacKenzie River Pizza, Grill and Pub, which already has two locations in Spokane. UGLY BETTIE’S PUBLIC HOUSE Ugly Bettie’s, an eastern downtown spot for live music and drinks, closed last month. Jeremy Tangen, formerly a partner in the Marquee Lounge — which also closed in July — has purchased the space. Tangen, who remains part of the group that operates Press on the South Hill, plans to rename the bar and change its image. He expects a late-September opening. 

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FOOD | UPDATE

W E D N E S D AY S

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VINTAGE VINES

Pair a glass of wine or beer with Vintage Vines’ bacon jam bruschetta.

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106 N. Evergreen Rd. | Spokane Valley 227-9463

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t’s not the most typical place you’d find a beer and wine specialty shop fused with a cozy cafe — Vintage Vines is sandwiched between a jewelry store and an insurance office inside a Spokane Valley strip mall, 50 yards from the bustle of East Sprague. Yet charm abounds inside the quaint, quiet shop with local art hung on the walls and a welcoming grandma’s-house-meets-coffeeshop feel. The locally owned business opened as a beer and wine specialty shop in 2011. While wine and beer lovers should find plenty to like in the shop’s retail area, Vintage Vine’s menu — added to supplement its beverage offer-

Final Days!

ings — shouldn’t be overlooked. A diverse appetizer list features snacks that pair well with both beer and wine, including cheese and hummus plates, crispy housemade potato chips served with a cheesy onion dip, and mini grilled cheese sandwiches with prosciutto. Savory sandwiches, soups and salads round out the remainder of the menu, including daily rotating sandwich and soup specials. Don’t miss the tangy, sweet pulled pork slider special. Most menu items are at or under $10; ask your host for beer and wine suggestions.

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40 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

THANK YOU

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to Cake’s Celeste and Gina for our Inlander Building Dedication Cake!

FOOD | SAMPLER

Spokane’s BEST New Bar!

SUSHI BONSAI BISTRO 101 Sherman Ave. | Coeur d’Alene 208-765-4321 With its elegant koi pond and impeccable service, this pan-Asian eatery offers a delightful blend of Chinese, Japanese and Thai foods. The TW roll (fresh water eel, avocado and cucumber) and Rainbow roll (California roll topped with chef’s choice of seafood) are two excellent sushi choices. Other treats include the Drunken Spyders, tempura-fried soft-shell crab and yellow curry. GINGER ASIAN BISTRO 1228 S. Grand Blvd. | 315-5201 Come here if you want to feel classy. Ginger Asian Bistro, located on the South Hill and first opened in 2009, provides fresh, delicious sushi. Their most popular roll is the Las Vegas roll, containing shrimp tempura, asparagus and avocado, and topped with fresh spicy tuna, sprinkled bread crumbs, mayo, eel sauce and finished with masago (eggs from the capelin, a smelt-like fish) and scallions.

SUSHI MARU 808 W. Main Ave. | 455-3900 Sushi Maru, located in River Park Square across the hall from Rock City, is perfect for the nervous sushi eater who doesn’t know what to order. A conveyor belt carries little multi-colored plates of sushi right past your table, which is ideal if you like to see your food before you order it. Each plate color corresponds with a set price. SUSHI SAKAI 11520 E. Sprague | 922-9960 The family-owned Sushi Sakai lays out a variety of sushi suited for all kinds of people, whether you like to stay safe with your food and order the simple California roll, or go bold and try the octopus, rattlesnake or caterpillar rolls. SUSHI.COM 430 W. Main Ave. | 838-0630 Don’t bother going to Sushi.com online. It doesn’t exist. Just go to the downtown joint that rolls some of the finest sushi around. Sushi.

com recently upped its game with an interior redesign. But it didn’t have to do anything to its rolls. They were always awesome. Go there at lunch for its bento-style combos. Or try the popular snow shadow appetizer, which includes salmon, snow crab and avocado wrapped in sweet radish, topped with wasabi and miso sauce. WASABI BISTRO AND SUSHI BAR 10208 N. Division St. | 290-5573 This spotless and welcoming sushi place on the corner of Division and Hawthorne, just across the street from Whitworth University, provides fresh dishes for decent prices. The Las Vegas roll is the most popular dish from the sushi bar. The spider roll is a favorite, as well as the spicy tuna roll for $7. 

ENTRÉE

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AUGUST 8, 2013 INLANDER 41

Kids will be kids — until they run away into the woods.

The Not-So-Wild Ones The Kings of Summer takes awkward kids into the woods BY CURTIS WOLOSCHUK

hether it’s The Way, Way Back or The To Do son) is confident enough to talk to his crush Kelly (Erin List, this year’s “summer movies” have been Moriarty) in the halls of their high school, he’s resigned steeped in nostalgia. The Kings of Summer, to losing her to college guys with their own apartments. Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ first feature continues this trend, Meanwhile, his best friend Patrick’s (Gabriel Basso) natuinviting viewers to recall their own teenage forays into rally athletic frame masks a fierce introversion that leaves the woods when they inevitably laid eyes on a stretch of him most comfortable when holed up in his basement. untamed land and claimed it as their own. Given their lack of ambition, Chris Galletta’s script Of course, those filmgoers unable to draw on firstrequires a catalyst to flush these underachievers out of hand experience may instead turn to hiding and spur them into action. SomeTHE KINGS OF SUMMER what unexpectedly, the strongest aspect memories of Terence Malick’s 1973 debut Rated R Badlands or last year’s Wes Anderson of a script focused on teenage boys seekoffering Moonrise Kingdom. Like both those Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts ing their independence proves to be its films, The Kings of Summer features teenage Starring Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso, alternately astute and absurd depictions Nick Offerman runaways making a life for themselves of parental posturing and blather. At Magic Lantern in nature. However, the rebels here lack As Joe’s curmudgeonly dad, Parks the bad reputations of Badlands’ Kit or and Recreation’s Nick Offerman effortKingdom’s Sam. Rather, they’re the sort of unmotivated, lessly finds the ideal gritted-teeth delivery for a man who anonymous kids who drift through life without anyone defines himself by rules and routine. In scenes in which giving them a second thought. While Joe (Nick Robinhe refuses to rise to the bait of his son’s taunts, he hilari-

42 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

ously conveys a boiling cauldron of barely suppressed fury and deep-seated frustration. Conversely, Megan Mullally and Marc Evan Jackson play Patrick’s parents as the sort of blissful squares who attempt to earn points by talking about Hancock but end up referring to Will Smith as “that New Prince.” Alas, Vogt-Roberts’ coming-of-age film also harbors serious dramatic ambitions, as evidenced by its use of a slight variation of the time-honored “Chekhov’s gun” principle. Here, the philosophy runs: if a snakeskin is glimpsed in the first act, heavy-handed Garden of Eden allusions must flourish in the second and a serpent must rear its sinister head by the climax. The stage upon which all of this might unfold is a haphazard homestead that the boys construct in an Ohio forest. While it defies credibility that such unskilled hands might erect a two-story structure, their refuge pales in terms of contrivance to Biaggio (Moises Arias), a machete-brandishing weirdo who gloms onto Joe and Patrick. Despite tracks by The Orb and MGMT throbbing on the soundtrack, Vogt-Roberts aspires to a sense of timelessness. In keeping with the film’s “some things never change” mentality, it’s the arrival of a young woman — the aforementioned Kelly — that sets into motion the boys’ expulsion from paradise. Needless to say, one doesn’t necessarily turn to the Good Book when looking to get their teenage kicks. And as the denouement proudly summates what its characters have learned, we can only lament that we never once saw these boys go wild. 

FILM | SHORTS

OPENING FILMS ELYSIUM

In this sci-fi tale, the 1-percenters don’t just live in their own world philosophically and in terms of lifestyle; they’ve literally left the planet behind. Orbiting above Earth is the titular satellite/habitat, where those who can afford it enjoy the bliss of cure-all medical technology and breathable air, while the surface world has turned into one massive, overpopulated, disease-ridden wasteland. But then one of those lowly Earth dwellers (Matt Damon) gets exposed to a lethal dose of radiation, and his only chance of survival is finding a way to get up to the medical marvels of Elysium. (SR) Rated R

I’M SO EXCITED

All aboard a flight to Mexico City, the lives of the pilots, flight attendants and some of the passengers are fully on display. It’s an absurd comedy that explores sex, death and some other serious stuff. Antonio Banderas and Penélope Cruz play airport workers on the ground in this film by Pedro Almodóvar. Unless you’re fluent in Spanish, you’ll be reading the subtitles. (JR) Rated R

KINGS OF SUMMER

That desire to be free from your parent’s rule and live life as you choose is a common one. This film tells the story of three friends who make this romantic fantasy a reality. Running into the woods to build their own house, they come to better understand the meaning of friendship, family and what it means to rule. Delightful performances mark this unique coming of age story. At Magic Lantern (JR) Rated R

LOVELACE

In 1972, Linda Boreman was forced by husband Chuck Traynor to star in the

pornographic film Deep Throat. The film garnered significant mainstream attention, and Boreman, performing under the name Linda Lovelace, became a national icon representing female sexual freedom. This film shows the dark, abusive reality that was Boreman’s life. It stars Amanda Seyfried and Peter Sarsgaard. At Magic Lantern (JR) Rated R

GRAND REOPENING

Jason Sudeikis plays a small-time pot dealer who finds himself in major debt to his supplier (Ed Helms). He’s then forced to make a trip to Mexico to pick up some bud, and he believes he’ll keep a lower profile if he crosses the border with his family. Without one, he recruits a nerdy boy, a punk girl and a stripper (Jennifer Aniston — as a stripper!) to pose as his kin travelling in an RV. (JR) Rated R

PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS

The son of Poseidon, Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman), ventures out into the Sea of Monsters with his friends to find the Golden Fleece, which holds the power to restore peace to their town. Full of myth, magic and adventure, this movie takes the viewer along for the quest with impressive visual effects. (JR) Rated PG

PLANES

Disney has almost made the movie Cars again. This time, it’s just with planes. Dusty, voiced by Dane Cook, is a plane with dreams of becoming a champion racer, but he’s afraid of heights. With the help of his mentor Skipper (Stacy Keach), Dusty sets out to make his dreams come true. He meets goofy characters voiced by Brad Garret, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and John Cleese along the way. (JR) Rated PG

BEFORE MIDNIGHT

Cruising around in a vintage Dodge Challenger, the DEA’s Bobby (Denzel Washington) and Navy investigator Stig (Mark Wahlberg) are both working undercover but make for such convincing bad-asses that they even have each other fooled. Indeed, the hook here is that, having been assigned by their respective agencies to infiltrate a crime syndicate, each assumes that the other is a criminal. It’s only once they’ve robbed a bank together (in order to secure evidence, naturally) that they realize each other’s actual allegiances. (CW) Rated R

In 1995, Before Sunrise introduced us to the pair as dreamy twenty-somethings whose chance meeting on a train led to a single wildly romantic night in Vienna; in 2004, Before Sunset found them reuniting in Paris as slightly more hardened adults, in a way that completely reframed the events that occurred nine years earlier. Now, the third installment in Richard Linklater’s story features our couple (Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy) now very much together raising twin daughters as they vacation in Greece. (SR) Rated R

20 FEET FROM STARDOM

Yes, folks, there’s such thing as a really scary (and gripping) horror movie that isn’t punctuated by gore. Director James Wan (Saw) fills his based-on-fact haunted house tale with nervous cameras, dark rooms, loud noises and the stories of two families — one lives in that house, the other is trying to help them. This is really unnerving stuff, and a ball to watch in a big dark room with a bunch of strangers, most screaming as one. (ES) Rated R ...continued on next page

We know names like Bruce Springsteen, Sheryl Crow and Mick Jagger. Names like Merry Clayton, Darlene Love and Claudia Lennear aren’t so familiar. We know the stars, but we don’t know the backup singers. This moving documentary puts the women who have supported these stars in the spotlight. One story looks at singer Judith Hill, recent contestant on NBC’s The Voice, and her partnership with Michael Jackson. At Magic Lantern. (JR) PG-13

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plays a retired CIA agent on a mission to track down a nuclear device. Giving the movie extra flavor is the eccentric John Malkovich. (JR) Rated PG-13

Gru is back with his minions and adopted daughters in the animated sequel, picking up as the Anti-Villain League cracks down on high-tech super-criminals. The agency calls on (or rather, kidnaps) Gru for his ex-villain expertise, but will he be able to juggle the mission on top of his paternal duties? Get ready to giggle for returning voice actors Steve Carell, Kristin Wigg, Miranda Cosgrove and the adorably clumsy minions. (PG)

GROWN UPS 2

Those guys from the glory days of ’90s comedy are back for another round. Happy Madison Productions brings you another Adam Sandler installment with the same pee jokes, physical humor and goofiness that have become his trademark. You get to watch him hang out with David Spade, Kevin James and the always-enjoyable Chris Rock. There are plenty of SNL cameos throughout. Also, Shaq makes an appearance. (JR) Rated PG-13

KON-TIKI

The charming and adventure-filled Oscarwinning documentary of the same name, from 1950, gets a dramatic treatment that keeps the original’s mood and aura intact, but throws in a few fictional inventions. Still, the story of Thor Heyerdahl and a handful of sailors who recreate a centuries-old raft voyage, with only winds and currents guiding them, makes for a nice bit of comfort viewing. Plus, there’s subtle, perfectly done CGI work on some of the sea life they encounter. (ES) Rated PG-13

THE LONE RANGER

Johnny Depp dons another wig as Tonto, the Native American sidekick to the notso-lonesome Lone Ranger, John Reid (Armie Hammer). Tonto lays down the wisdom in fluent broken English to transform a man of law into a masked hero. Loaded with Pirates of the Caribbean special effects and quippy humor, Depp and Hammer gallop horseback through the dust in an adventure against the Western bad guys. (BN) PG-13

MAN OF STEEL

The reboot of the reboot of the Superman story is brimming with both fight and flight scenes, lots of self-doubt, a bit of humor, the problems of actually being a stranger in a strange land, and a moving, heartfelt look at father-son relationships. Henry Cavill is slightly earnest in the lead, Amy Adams gives Lois Lane the right amount of feisty toughness, Russell Crowe shows the stoic side of Jor-El, Kevin Costner is a wise and kindly Jonathan Kent, and Michael Shannon manages to mix malevolence with pride as General Zod. Visual effects are excessive, but writer David S. Goyer and director Zack Snyder make everything balance out just right. (ES) Rated PG-13

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY

The gang from Monsters Inc. is back, and this time they’re back in school. We see Mike trying to get back into the Monsters University scaring department — after failing out — by winning a universitywide “Scare Games.” Here Monsters University takes advantage of a familiar

SMURFS 2

college-movie trope: an outcasts vs. elites competition straight out of Revenge of the Nerds. (SR) Rated PG

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

It seems that Joss Whedon (the man behind Avengers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and generally known as the king of all nerds everywhere) can do whatever the hell he wants after raking in so much superhero cash last summer. Take on Shakespeare? Why not? He wrote and directed this modern telling of the classic tale, most of which he filmed at his own house — because he can do things like that. (MB) Rated PG-13.

MUD

Two teenagers stumble across a ruggedly handsome fugitive (Matthew McConaughey) hiding in the Deep South from bounty hunters and the law. The boys decide to take matters into their own hands, making a pact to keep the dashing criminal hidden from hungry killers and help reunite him with his long lost love. It’s nice to see McConaughey continue his habit of appearing in movies that aren’t, by and large, romantic comedies. Let’s hope he keeps it up. (SM) Rated PG-13

PACIFIC RIM

Guillermo del Toro (Hellboy) pays homage to the Japanese monsters movies of his youth with this big, loud, exciting tale of gigantic creatures rising from the ocean’s depths, and being met by man-made, equally gigantic robots that attempt to beat the tar out of the invaders. The film pauses briefly to share personal, usually tragic, stories of the folks in charge of fighting back, but the insane action is never far away, and it keeps on getting crazier. One great idea was to fill the film with B actors instead of stars. The only really recognizable face is that of del Toro regular Ron Perlman, who plays a darkly comic, 24-carat-gold-shoe-wearing war profiteer. (ES) Rated PG-13

RED 2

At 58, Bruce Willis is still atop most Hollywood call sheets for the big-budget cop movie. In this one, he’s supported by three Academy Award winners: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Anthony Hopkins and Helen Mirren. Reuniting his old team, Willis

The origin of these little blue dudes and dudettes goes all the way back to 1958. Originally appearing as comic strip, the Smurfs have been reincarnated over and over again. Neil Patrick Harris starred in the 2011 version, and he’s doing it again. This time around, the Smurfs team up with Harris and other human friends to save Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) from the evil Gargamel (voiced by Hank Azaria). (JR) PG

TURBO

Ryan Reynolds is the star of this latest film from DreamWorks Animation. Yes, that means you don’t get to look at him. It’s a cartoon snail version of Reynolds that wants nothing more than to go fast and win the Indy 500. The voices of Paul Giamatti, Bill Hader, and trademark delivery from the voice of Samuel L. Jackson accompany Reynolds in this family flick. (JR) PG

THE WAY, WAY BACK

Fox Searchlight continues to establish itself as, perhaps, the premier indie film distributor. From them we’ve received films like Sideways, Juno and Slumdog Millionaire. Their newest film seems to contain the same charm they’ve become known for. This time around, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Maya Rudolph and a young actor named Liam James look to deliver said charm with a tale about a forlorn kid who finds a new life with a summer job at a water park. (JR) PG-13

WOLVERINE

Logan, the Wolverine, is a roiling bundle of angst and emotional torment and aching vulnerability. He is haunted by the ghost of Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), who keeps begging him to just figure out how to die already and join her in the afterlife. Now, he has to head to Japan and face his inner demons. (MJ) Rated PG-13

WORLD WAR Z

Former UN worker Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) and his family are stuck in an apocalyptic traffic jam as Philadelphia falls to fast-moving, rabid zombies. Then, Gerry is tasked by the government to travel around the world looking for the source of this global pandemic, all the while trying to get back to his family. (MJ) Rated PG-13 

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Before Midnight

Monsters University

Man of Steel

Kings of Summer

2 Guns

World War Z

Wolverine

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PLANES [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(200 PM) 700 PM ELYSIUM [CC,DV] (R) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1245 330) 740 1015 PLANES IN REALD 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1130 AM) 430 PM 930 PM PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1200 230) 500 730 1000 PERCY JACKSON:SEA OF MONSTERS IN REALD 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1230 PM 300 PM) WE'RE THE MILLERS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(1255 350) 720 1005 2 GUNS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(1215 345) 710 950 SMURFS 2 [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(215 PM) 715 PM SMURFS 2 IN REALD 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1145 AM) 445 PM 945 PM THE WOLVERINE [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1210 320) 705 1010

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Elysium squanders its style on painfully obvious allegory

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t’s a bit silly talking about a science-fiction exposed to a lethal dose of radiation doing that film like Elysium as an allegory. That’s almost job; his only chance of survival is finding a way a tautology; at its core, all science fiction and to get up to the medical marvels of Elysium. fantasy is fundamentally allegory. Genres explorBlomkamp made his name with the South Afing other worlds — future, alien or imaginary rican science-fiction tale District 9 a few years ago, — have always been ways for us to explore our and brings the same gritty aesthetic to a biggerown world. Tolkien knew it, Rod Serling knew budget enterprise. In a summer full of bloodless it, Gene Roddenberry knew violence, it’s almost refreshing to find a it, George Lucas knew it: We movie that acknowledges genuine trauma ELYSIUM need a way to talk about heroto the human body. Rated R ism, injustice and our human Yet as inventive as Elysium is to look at, Directed by Neill Blomkamp struggles to do the right thing Starring Matt Damon, Sharlto it’s barely passable as something to think in a way that makes those ideas Copley, Jodie Foster about. Where District 9 fully built its world bigger than a political idea of as a unique metaphor for alien apartheid, the moment. Elysium trots out an extended riff on the But there’s allegory, and then there’s the immigration debate that doesn’t even bother to shoulder-shaking, rib-nudging, painfully strained wrap the idea in new clothing. Earth residents storytelling that Neill Blomkamp throws at Elyemploy the equivalent of coyotes to try to smuggle sium. As visually striking as Blomkamp makes his them to Elysium; the vessels full of “illegals” 22nd-century world, he never for a moment lets themselves are referred to as “undocumented us forget that this is A Movie That Says Someships.” thing Important About Our Time. The only real focus on life on Elysium comes Elysium posits a world where the 1-percenters in the form of Jodie Foster, playing its hawkish don’t just live in their own world philosophically; defense minister Delacourt in a performance they’ve literally left the planet behind. Orbiting so staggeringly terrible it infects the rest of the above the earth is the titular satellite/habitat, movie. Snarling about needing to preserve their where those who can afford it enjoy the bliss of way of life for the children, Foster never even cure-all medical technology and breathable air, bothers trying to make Delacourt more than a while the surface world has turned into one mascartoon of militaristic xenophobia. sive, overpopulated, disease- and pollution-ridden What remains is a piece of genre filmmakfavela. Among the denizens of that world is Max ing with some brutal, body-exploding set pieces, da Costa (Matt Damon), an ex-con trying to put buried inside a feature-length public service anhis life back on the straight and narrow. Max is nouncement for an amnesty program. 

PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(100 PM) 730 PM PERCY JACKSON:SEA OF MONSTERS IN REALD 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.415 PM 1015 PM WE'RE THE MILLERS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(1245) 445 715 1010 2 GUNS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(105) 425 710 1005 SMURFS 2 [CC,DV] (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1240 PM 330 PM) 735 PM

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THE WOLVERINE

PG-13 Daily (10:40) (1:20) (4:00) 6:40 9:20

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PG-13 Daily (10:40) In 2D Daily (1:20) (4:00) 6:40 9:20

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PG-13 Daily (11:15) (1:45) (4:15) 7:00 9:40

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Youth Group Idaho band The Ongoing Concept is called up to the major leagues BY LEAH SOTTILE

his was such a horrible idea. It happened when the packed crowd of sweaty young teenagers in beanies and backward caps and colored Vans started chanting for another song at the end of The Ongoing Concept’s set last weekend. After what would become the band’s next-to-last song, the crowd defiantly stood their ground, chanting “One more song!” The guys onstage — a screamy hardcore outfit who recently caught the region by surprise with their announcement they had been signed to major label Solid State Records — were expecting this. They cue up a sample of a groaning organ, and the kids in the audience instantly recognize the song. The room starts to move. As the noise builds, the band’s main screamer, 20-year-old Kyle Scholz, tromps through the crowd, hops

up to grab the bottom of the balcony with his fingers and pulls himself up until he’s standing with his back against the railing — a good 20 feet up in the air. As he turns to face the crowd, the music building, the energy swelling, the kids stare up at him — all wide eyes and orthodontic smiles — and prepare to catch him. Kyle shakes his head and gestures for them to clear the floor. The crowd crams against the walls. And then the music breaks. That’s when Kyle jumps.

ou could say that The Ongoing Concept is at the very center of the Scholtz family. It’s what all three of the Scholtz kids — Kyle, 16-year-old Parker and Dawson, 21 — devote their free time to. It’s the thing that brings the Scholtz boys closer together ...continued on next page

KRISTEN BLACK PHOTO

AUGUST 8, 2013 INLANDER 47

MUSIC | ROCK “YOUTH GROUP,” CONTINUED... with their parents, Dan and Crystal, who built a practice space and recording area above their garage for the boys, helped outfit the band’s 15-passenger touring van with bunk beds and their trailer with enough power for the kids to bring a game system and microwave on the road. Sometimes their parents stand at the back of the crowd at shows, watching this thing their kids have built. “We always [played] thinking that two years, three years down the road, if nothing had happened, we would kind of say [we’d call it] quits,” Dawson says, sipping coffee at the dining room table of the Rathdrum, Idaho, family home. “We kind of thought it would be more of a hobby that would just kind of die when we got older. … The fact that this is actually, possibly going to be our career is kind of weird, and we never thought it would happen.” Over the past three years, they just kept at it. Where so many bands just play a few shows here and there, the Scholtz boys and their friend T.J. Nichols — whose family lives across the road — decided to treat this band like a job. These kids from the middle of the Idaho panhandle had somehow acquired an old-school punk ethic: saving every penny they got from their shows, teaching themselves to record their own music, shooting their own videos and hounding the record labels they loved to take notice. The band even created a mobile stage setup they could assemble in 10 minutes, and played to the ticket line at four different Warped Tour dates. “I just knew I wanted to do this for my career. I’ve always wanted to do it,” Dawson says. “There’s a certain time when it’s not supposed to be fun, in a way. It’s supposed to be a job. And I just always looked at it as a job.” Slowly, the band’s sound became their own: brash hardcore mixed with emo vocals, guitars overlaid with banjos, organs blended with frenetic electronic samples. Kyle started doing backflips onstage as he sang. At one show, Dawson dislocated his shoulder while thrashing about with his guitar … four different times.

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“We try to go as crazy as possible,” Dawson says. “We just want people to go home and be like, ‘That was the most sickest show ever!’ and remember it for a long time.” Somehow — they’re still not sure how — they got a call one day from an A&R rep with Solid State Records, a subsidiary imprint of Christian label Tooth & Nail Records. And within a few months, The Ongoing Concept announced they’d be in the company of bands they’d long idolized: Underoath, August Burns Red and the Chariot. Their new album, Saloon, comes out in a few weeks. Though Dawson says he wouldn’t consider The Ongoing Concept a Christian band (despite the members identifying as Christian), he says their ideas fall in line with those of their new labelmates. “I just feel like there’s a dark kind of vibe you get to this kind of music,” he says. “Everyone’s angry at whatever. I just feel like we try to bring a positive influence or atmosphere, try to be fun and make people excited for music in general.” And sometimes getting people excited means playing every single show like it might be their last.

yle hits the ground like he’s done this a million times before: tucking into a ball and rolling to his feet again, then running to the stage to grab the microphone. The kids love it, smiling and singing and screaming along with the band. In front, a skinny kid in a baggy shirt and bright blue, skintight jeans is yelling along, shaking his moptop of hair, then suddenly ripping his own shirt from the neckline down. Fans are kicking their legs and punching the air. After the show is really done, a line of kids slowly files out of the venue. They look starstruck. A boy in a beanie looks at the girl he’s walking out with and shakes his head. “Those guys are crazy!” She raises an eyebrow and smiles at him. “They’re always crazy.” 

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SPOKEFEST VOLUNTEERS Volunteers needed to help set up the course and fair, provide direction, host food/ water stops and more for the annual community cycling festival (Sept. 8) in downtown Spokane. spokefest.org (anamatt24@gmail.com) PIRATES OF THE COEUR D'ALENE Interactive family and party cruises. Family cruise departs twice daily, at 11:30 am and 2 pm. $23-$32. Party cruises (ages 21+) Saturdays through Aug. 31 from 7:30-9:30 pm. $27. Coeur d'Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. piratecruisecda.com (208-765-4000 x. 21) SCHOOL SUPPLY DRIVE Donations of school supplies are needed to be distributed to area children by the Salavation Army on Aug. 16. Drop off locations: Shopko, Fred Meyer, Walgreens, Lowe's, Home Depot, Prime Source Credit Union, Advance America, Spokane Public Safety Bldg. (329-2721) THURSDAY NIGHT DANCE Community dances featuring live music by local bands. Thursdays from 7:30-9:45 pm. Free. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. (535-0803) FAMILY DANCE NIGHT Get moving with the whole family. Aug. 9 and 23 from 7:30-8:30 pm. $5-$10. The Buddhio, 915 S. Perry St. (389-0429) SWIM AND A MOVIE Open swimming, concessions and screening of "Escape From Planet Earth" at the pool. Aug. 10 at 6 pm, movie at dusk. $2-$4. Northside and Southside Aquatic Centers, Spokane. (477-4730) CAMARO CLUB SHOW 23rd annual Inland Northwest Camaro Club car show. Aug. 10 from 9 am-3 pm. $20/

participants, free to view. Mirabeau Meadows, 13500 Mirabeau Parkway. KIDS WRITING WORKSHOP Children's author Wendy W. Snodgrass leads a writing workshop for children ages 9-12. Aug. 12, 14 and 16 from 10 am-1 pm. Free. Coeur d'Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front Ave. (208-769-2315) GLENROSE SUMMER MARKET Farmers market, live music, vendors and more. Aug. 13 from 3-7 pm. (Also schedule for Sept. 10). Little Yellow Schoolhouse, corner of 37th and Fancher. (944-1085) FEED THE NEIGHBORHOOD Free meals provided every Wednesday from 4:30-6 pm. Free. (Volunteers also needed to cook and serve meals) 7th and Catherine Ave., Post Falls, Idaho. (208-661-5166) WELCOME BACK UP ALL NIGHT Games, live entertainment, activities and more. Aug. 17 from 9 pm-1 am. Free. Washington State University, Pullman campus. wsu.edu (335-8443) STRIDES FOR STRONG BONES 3-mile fun run benefiting the Washington Osteoporosis Coalition. Aug. 17 at 9 am. $15-$20. Waterfront Park, Medical Lake. wastrongbones.org (206-4652585) STILETTO SPRINT High-heeled sprint races to benefit the Women's Healing and Empowerment Network with men's, women's and team sprint races. Aug. 18 from noon-5 pm. $5-$30. Luxe Coffeehouse, 1017 W. First Ave. whenetwork.com (443-3527)

ETC.

A COURSE IN MIRACLES Theological study group. Thursdays at 7 pm. Free. 1042 W. Mill Ave., Ste. 207 Coeur d'Alene. (208-660-7687) AFTER HOURS FELINE FESTIVAL After hours event (adults only) featuring food, beverages, tours and more. Aug. 8 from 5:30-8:30 pm. Cat Tales Zoological Park, 17020 N. Newport Hwy. (238-4126) BARK-IT MARKET Community garage sale benefiting the Spokane County Regional Animal Protection Service (SCRAPS). Aug. 9-10 from 10 am-2 pm. Donations accepted Mon-Sat, noon-5:30 pm at 2521 N. Flora Rd. Sale at future SCRAPS facility, 6815 E. Trent Ave. (477-2984) PERMACULTURE WORKSHOP "Creating a New, Permanent Culture for All" on permaculture practices outside the garden. Aug. 10 from 11 am-1 pm. $11, pre-registration required. Sun People Dry Goods Co., 32 W. Second Ave. sunpeopledrygoods.com (368-9378) SUMMER GARDEN TOUR Tour private gardens at homes on the South Hill, hosted by the Associated Garden Clubs. Aug. 11 from 10 am-5 pm. $10. Locations vary. (230-4986) BREAKING BAD PREMIERE Screening of the final series premiere of the hit show. Aug. 11 at 7 pm. $5 donation. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. (227-7638) INLAND NW FREETHOUGHT SOCIETY Secular social group, meets on the second Sundays of the month at 2 pm. Free. Shari's, 320 N. Sullivan Rd. infreethought.org (216-4788) BUDDHIST MEDITATION CLASS Series of workshops on Buddhist meditation techniques and philophy, taught by Tibetan Buddhist nuns from Sravasti

Abbey. Mondays from 6:30-8 pm, Aug. 12-Sept. 16. Free, donations accepted. Unitarian Universalist, 4340 W. Fort George Wright Dr. sravasti.org (447-5549) SPOKANE MOVES TO AMEND THE CONSTITUTION The local activist group meets on the second Tuesdays of each month. Next meeting is Aug. 13 at 6:30 pm. Free. Unitarian Universalist, 4340 W. Ft. George Wright Dr. (844-1776) PICKIN' ON THE PRAIRIE Vendors selling vintage, antique, salvaged, handmade and collectible items and more. Aug. 17-18 from 10 am-4 pm. $4 admission. Past Blessings Farm, 8521 N. Orchard Prairie Rd. pastblessings.com (499-5099) ROCK BAND FUNDRAISER Videogame night fundraiser hosted by the Modified Dolls benefiting Child's Play and the Sacred Heart Children's Hospital. Aug. 17 at 5 pm. $5 entry, donations accepted. Black Wolf Gaming Center, 14208 E. Sprague Ave. (279-2290)

FESTIVAL

PALOUSE PRIDE LGBT pride week celebration featuring activities, a parade, live music and more. Through Aug. 11. Times and locations of events vary throughout Moscow, Pullman and Lewiston, Idaho. inlandoasis.org (208596-4449) KIDS DAY Family activities, booths, entertainment and more. Aug. 10 from 11 am-5 pm. Riverfront Park, 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (242-2400) TREASURES ON FOXWOOD Outdoor antiques, vintage goods, food, live music and more. Aug. 10-11, Sat, 9 am-5 pm; Sun, 9 am-4 pm. $4 entry fee. Foxwood Tea House, Newport. (589-0097) WINGS OVER SANDPOINT Regional pilots fly into Sandpoint for a breakfast and aircraft display. Aug. 10 from 8 am-2 pm. Sandpoint, Idaho. 1441. eaachapter.org (208-255-9954) PEND OREILLE COUNTY FAIR Exhibits, animals, live entertainment, vendors and more. Aug. 15-18. Pend Oreille County Fairgrounds, 419152 Hwy. 20, Cusick. povn.com (509-455-1367) NATIONAL LENTIL FESTIVAL Street fair, lentil-themed food, wine and beer tasting, parade, pancake breakfast, children's events and more. Aug 16-17. Downtown Pullman, Wash. lentilfest. com (509-334-3565) GOODGUYS GREAT NORTHWEST NATIONALS Cars, exhibits, demos and more. Aug. 16-18. $6-$15. Kids under age 6 free. Spokane Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana St. good-guys.com (925-838-9876) VINTAGE TRAILER CAMPOUT First annual vintage trailer camping weekend featuring activities, barbecue and more. Aug. 16-18. Newport City Park campgrounds, Newport, Wash. inwvintagetrailers.blogspot.com CUSICK RODEO Riding competitions and more. Aug. 17 at 7:30 pm, Aug. 18 at 1:30 pm. Pend Oreille County Fairgrounds, 419152 Hwy. 20, Cusick, Wash. povn.com (509-455-1367) HISPANIC HERITAGE FESTIVAL Music, dancers, exhibits, demonstrations, arts and crafts, food and more. Aug. 17 from 10 am-4 pm. Riverfront Park, 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. hpbaspokane. org (625-6601)

events | farmers markets

Bonners Ferry Market,  Saturdays through Oct. 5 from 8 am-1 pm. Corner of Hwy. 95 and Kootenai Street, Bonners Ferry, Idaho. bonnersferryfarmersmarket.org (208-267-7987) Cheney Farmers Market,  Tuesdays through Sept. 24 from 2-7 pm. Cheney City Hall Parking Lot, 609 Second St., Cheney, Wash. cheneyfarmersmarket. com (235-2225) Chewelah Farmers Market,  Fridays through Oct. 18 from 11:30 am-5:30 pm. City Park, 600 N. Park St., Chewelah, Wash. chewelahfarmersmarket. blogspot.com (936-4353) Clayton Farmers Market,  Sundays through Oct. from noon-4 pm. Clayton Fairgrounds, 4616 Wallbridge Rd., Clayton, Wash. CdA Farmers Market,  Wednesdays through Sept 25 from 4-6 pm, Fifth Street and Sherman Avenue. Sunday market from 10 am-4 pm, Sixth and Sherman. Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. kootenaifarmersmarkets.org Colville Farmers Market, Wednesdays through Oct. from noon-5 pm. Stevens County Fairgrounds, 317 W. Astor Ave., Colville, Wash. (732-6619) Deer Park Farmers Market,  Thursdays through Oct. from 4-7 pm. 412 W. Crawford, Deer Park, Wash. (979-1051) Emerson-Garfield Farmers Market, Fridays through Oct. 18 from 3-7 pm. Knox Presbyterian Church parking lot, 806 W. Knox Ave. emersongarfield.org (398-9628) Hayden Farmers Market,  Saturdays through Oct. 19. from 9 am-1:30 pm. Corner of Hwy. 95 and Prairie Ave., Hayden, Idaho kootenaifarmersmarkets.org Liberty Lake Farmers Market,  Saturdays through Oct. 12 from 9 am-1 pm. 1421 N. Meadowwood Ln., Liberty Lake, Wash. llfarmersmarket.com Millwood Farmers Market,  Wednesdays through Sept. 25 from 3-7 pm. Millwood Community Presbyterian, 3223 N. Marguerite Rd. millwoodpc.org Moscow Farmers Market,  Saturdays through Oct. from 8 am-1 pm. Friendship Square and Main St., downtown Moscow, Idaho. moscow.id.us (208-883-7132) Northeast Washington Farmers Market, Wednesdays and

Saturdays through Oct. from 9 am-1 pm. Under the clock tower on the corner of Main & Astor, Colville, Wash. (517-414-0399) Pend Oreille Farmers Market,  Saturdays through Sept. from 9 am-1 pm. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 240 N. Union Ave., Newport, Wash. (509-671-3389) Pullman Farmers Market ,Wednesdays through Oct. 16 from 3:30-6 pm. Spot Shop parking lot, 240 N.E. Kamiaken St., Pullman, Wash. pullmanchamber.com (509-334-3565) Rathdrum Farmers Market,  Saturdays through Oct. 5, from 9 am-3 pm. City Park off Hwy. 53, Rathdrum, Idaho. rathdrumfarmersmarket.org Rockford Farmers Market, Saturdays through Sept. 7 from 9 am-3 pm. Rockford Park, First Street and Hwy. 278, Rockford, Wash. (291-3146) Sandpoint Farmers Market,  Saturdays through Oct. 12 from 9 am-1 pm; Wednesdays, from 3-5:30 pm. Farmin Park, Third Avenue and Oak Street, Sandpoint, Idaho. sandpointfarmersmarket.org (208-597-3355) South Perry Farmers Market,  Thursdays through Oct. from 3-7 pm. The Shop, 924 S. Perry St. thursdaymarket.org (720-8449) Spokane Farmers Market,  Saturdays through Oct. 30 from 8 am-1 pm; Wednesdays from 8 am-1 pm, starting June 12. 20 W. Fifth Ave. spokanefarmersmarket.org (995-0182) Spokane Public Market,  Thursday-Saturday, year-round from 10 am-6 pm; Sunday from 11 am-5 pm. Spokane Public Market, 24 W. Second Ave. spokanepublicmarket.org (842-3544) St. Maries Farmers Market, Fridays through Oct. 4 from 3-6:30 pm. Downtown St. Maries, Idaho. (208-245-4381) Tuesday Growers’ Market,  Tuesdays through Oct. 8 from 4:00-6:30 pm. Moscow Food Co-op, 121 E. Fifth St., Moscow, Idaho. moscowfood.coop Veradale Farmers Market, Tuesdays through Sept. 24 from 2-6 pm. Spokane Valley Eagles, 16801 E. Sprague Ave. West Central Marketplace,  Tuesdays through mid-Oct. from 3-6 pm. A.M. Cannon Park, 1920 W. Maxwell Ave. (703-7433) n

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AUGUST 8, 2013 INLANDER 55

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess IT’S SCOLD IN HERE

Online dating isn’t going so well. I’m a 34-year-old professor seeking a relationship. I listed an age range of 18 to 35 on my profile, not because I particularly like 18-year-olds but simply to avoid limiting my options. I messaged a 24-year-old woman, noting that I loved that she “enjoys supporting people who have a purpose and a passion.” She wrote back: “You seem really cool, but the fact that you’re considering dating women as young as 18 is a dealbreaker. 18-year-olds aren’t people yet. You’re a professor. AMY ALKON You know that.” She then scolded me for failing to admire that she clearly has purpose and passion — she doesn’t just support those things — but considering my interest in 18-year-olds, purpose and passion probably don’t matter much to me anyway. Huh?! Should I really be faulted for being open-minded? —Reprimanded Online dating can be so efficient. It used to be that you’d have to wait to say hello to have your first argument. This woman probably couldn’t go out with you anyway, as busy as she must be getting the ignition lock replaced on her broom. However, she may have done you a favor. Although most women won’t turn online dating into online berating, many probably share her anger and suspicion at the lower end of your listed age range. But, but…you protest, you’re just trying to be open instead of assuming that every single 18-year-old will be the dating equivalent of going out with a steak in a short skirt. Your open-mindedness seems to be a rational approach. The problem is, we aren’t the rational animals we smugly insist we are. Research by evolutionary psychologists Martie Haselton and David Buss suggests that we evolved to make protective errors in judgment — erring on the side of perceiving whatever would have been least costly for our survival and mating interests back in the ancestral environment. This makes us prone to believe there’s a snake behind every rustle of a pile of leaves because the embarrassment from shrieking like an idiot would have been less costly than dying from a snakebite. In the mating sphere, women evolved to be “commitment skeptics,” prone to overperceive men as hookup-seeking cads until they prove otherwise. For men, it would have been costly to miss any mating opportunity…leading to a 34-year-old man being “open” to a wide range of women, including a woman only slightly older than some of his socks. You can turn this into a positive experience in two ways: by thanking your lucky stars that you won’t be the boyfriend she’s ripping into at the supermarket for eyeing the wrong potato and by listing an age range that’s less ire-producing. This actually shouldn’t limit you in the slightest, since you can write to any woman you find attractive — including those who’ll think you’re “like, so much more amazing” than the other “men” they’re dating, because you don’t live with your parents or have a job that requires a paper hat.

DON’T JUST MALL A WOMAN

I’ve saved some money to get my girlfriend something special for her birthday. I know what she likes at REI, Pottery Barn, and Williams-Sonoma, but nothing feels special enough. Perhaps I’m an idiot for asking you, a stranger, what to get the woman I know and love, but maybe you can point me in the right direction. —Stumped Too bad the two of you aren’t cats, or you could just come by with a dead cricket between your teeth. But you are wise to think outside the cardboard box. Researchers Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton write in “Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending” that the purchases that ultimately make us the happiest are not material things but experiences. They cite research showing that new “stuff” soon stops giving us the same zing, while experiential purchases not only contribute to our sense of self and our connection with others but get more meaningful over time through the stories we tell about them. Also, they never need dusting. So, instead of deciding between the espresso machine that’ll guess her weight and the one that gets basic cable, think about an experience she’d really love. It could be a Champagne balloon ride or driving a racecar around a track (nascarracingexperience.com). But fret not if these are too pricey. The research suggests that even when people spend just a few dollars, they get more lasting pleasure from an experience than a thing. And even when experiences go wrong, like a romantic picnic that ends in horrible poison oak, they tend to be viewed fondly in hindsight. Your girlfriend may not have asked for a series of hydrocortisone injections for her birthday, but years later, she’ll be laughing with you and friends about that and not the story of how you once got her a bowl from Pottery Barn. n ©2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

56 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

EVENTS | CALENDAR PEACH FESTIVAL Peach picking, arts and crafts, vendors and more. Aug. 17- Sept. 2. Green Bluff Growers, Mead, Wash. greenbluffgrowers.com GARLAND BLOCK PARTY Live music, art vendors, food and the Runway Renegades fashion show. Aug. 17 from 3-10 pm. Free. Garland Business District. garlanddistrict.com UNITY IN THE COMMUNITY 19th annual celebration of Inland Northwest culture and diversity, featuring cultural villages, family activities and more. Aug. 17 from 10 am-4 pm. Free. Riverfront Park, 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. nwunity.org WOODEN BOAT SHOW Wooden and classic boat show. Aug. 17-18. Coeur d'Alene Resort, 115 S. Second Ave. cdaresort.com (208-765-4000) BONNER COUNTY FAIR Contests, activities, booths, vendors, food, live entertainment and more. Aug. 20-24. Bonner County Fairgrounds, 4203 N. Boyer Rd., Sandpoint, Idaho. co.bonner.id.us (208-263-8414) NORTH IDAHO FAIR & RODEO Vendors, booths, animals, exhibits, rodeo competitions and more. Aug. 21-25 from 10 am-10 pm. $6-$9. Kootenai County Fairgrounds, 4056 N. Government Way, Coeur d'Alene. northidahofair.com (208-765-4969) NORTHEAST WASHINGTON FAIR Vendors, exhibits, food and drink, arts and crafts and more. Aug. 22-25. North East Washington Fairgrounds, 317 W. Astor Ave., Colville, Wash. (684-2585) NW INDIAN ENCAMPMENT & POWWOW Gathering of native tribes from across the Northwest and Canada, featuring traditional music and dance, an Indian Market and more. Aug. 22-24, Thu from 5-9 pm, Fri at 7 pm, Sat from 9 am-7 pm. Free. Riverfront Park, 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. spokaneriverfrontpark.com (242-2400) CLAYTON COMMUNITY FAIR Exhibits, animals, demonstrations, activities and more. Aug. 23-25. Clayton Fairgrounds, 4616 Wallbridge Rd., Clayton, Wash. claytoncommunityfair.com (276-2444)

FILM

KIDS SUMMER MOVIE SERIES Movies shown on Wed and Thu at 1 pm, through Aug. 15. $3/show or $15/pass. Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127) BRAVE Animated family film. Aug. 8 at 2:30 pm. Free. All-ages. The Kroc, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. (208-667-1865) MONSTERS UNIVERSITY Animated family film. Aug. 8-11, showtimes vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127) HERE COMES THE BOOM Outdoor movie screening as part of the Summer Moonlight Movie Series. Aug. 9 at dusk. Free. Sunset Park, S. King St., Airway Heights. cahw.org (244-4845) STAR TREK Outdoor movie screening. Aug. 9 at dusk. Free. Half Moon Park, Holl Blvd. and Indiana Ave., Liberty Lake. pavillionpark.org (755-6726) OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Screening as part of the South Perry Summer Theater series. Aug. 10 at dusk. Free. The Shop, 924 S. Perry St. (534-1647) THE GOONIES Outdoor movie screening. Aug. 10 at dusk. Free. Rocky Hill

Park, Mission Ave. and Winrock St., Liberty Lake. pavillionpark.org (7556726) THE AVENGERS Outdoor movie screening featuring pre-show performances, food and more. Aug. 14 at dusk. $5. Riverfront Park, Lilac Bowl, 507 N. Howard St. outdoormoviesatriverfront.com THE WELCOME Screening of the documentary film on the healing process for veterans with PTSD, as a fundraiser for the Warrior Songs project. Aug. 14 at 7:30 pm. $20; free to vets. Hamilton Studio, 1427 W. Dean. warriorsongs. org THE WRESTLER Screening of the film as part of the library's "Great Sports Films" series. Aug. 14 at 5:30 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane branch, 906 W. Main Ave. spokanelibrary.org (4445341) DESPICABLE ME 2 Animated family film. Aug. 14-18, showtimes vary. $3$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127) ZAMBEZIA Animated family film. Aug. 15 at 2:30 pm. Free. All-ages. The Kroc, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. kroccda.org (208-667-1865) ONE TRACK HEART One-time screening of the documentary about Krishna Das. Aug. 15 at 7:30 pm. $7. Magic Lantern Theater, 25 W. Main Ave. magiclanternspokane.com (209-2383) BOLT Outdoor movie screening. Aug. 16 at dusk. Free. Pavillion Park, 727 N. Molter Rd., Liberty Lake. pavillionpark. org (755-6726)

WEEKEND COUNTDOWN

Get the scoop on this weekend’s events with our newsletter. Visit Inlander.com/newsletter to sign up.

THE HOBBIT Screening as part of the South Perry Summer Theater series. Aug. 17 at dusk. Free. The Shop, 924 S. Perry St. (534-1647) HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA Outdoor movie screening. Aug. 17 at 8:20 pm. Free. Mirabeau Meadows Park, 13500 Mirabeau Parkway, Spokane Valley. spokanevalley.org STAR TREK II Screening of "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" as part of the Mobius Sci-Fi Spectacular Series. Aug. 17 at 11 am and 2 pm. $5. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7638) THE PRINCESS BRIDE Outdoor movie screening featuring pre-show performances, food and more. Aug. 21 at dusk. $5. Riverfront Park, Lilac Bowl, 507 N. Howard St. outdoormoviesatriverfront.com

FOOD & DRINK

"RESERVE" WINES Wine tasting class on the differences between a "reserve" and non-reserve wine. Aug. 9 at 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (3432253) CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH Four-course summertime brunch as part of the Connoisseurs Club. Aug. 11 from 11 am-2 pm. $40. The Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. thelincolncenterspokane.com (327-8000)

EAT TO LIVE WORKSHOP Six-week workshop on the benefits and how-tos of eating a plant-based diet including cooking demos, meal planning and more. Through Aug. 28, Wed from noon-1:30 or 5:30-7 pm. $10/class or $50/program. Center for Spiritual Living, 2825 E. 33rd Ave. (951-5557) SIERRA NEVADA TAP TAKEOVER Beer tasting hosted by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. Aug. 15 from 5-8 pm. Free. Enoteca, 112 E. Seltice Way, Post Falls. corkjoy.com (208-457-9885) CALIFORNIA DREAMIN' Wine tasting class focusing on California region wines. Aug. 16 at 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) DINNER AT THE MARKET Five-course dinner prepared by local chefs using the market's food vendors. Aug. 17 at 6 pm. $35-$50. Spokane Public Market, 32 W. Second Ave. spokanepublicmarket.org (842-3544) AFRICAN COFFEES CLASS Learn about and sample African-grown coffees. Aug. 17 at 10 am. Free, RSVP requested. Roast House Coffee, 423 E. Cleveland Ave., Ste. C. (995-6500)

MUSIC

SUMMER CONCERTS IN RIVERSTONE Concerts in the park featuring local bands and artists. Thursdays from 6:30-8 pm, through Aug. 29. Free. Riverstone Park, 1800 Tilford Lane. artsincda.org (208-292-1629) FESTIVAL AT SANDPOINT Outdoor concert series featuring performances by the Indigo Girls, Cake, John Butler Trio, The Avett Brothers, Steve Miller Band and more. Through Aug. 11, dates and times vary. $37-$60. War Memorial Field, 855 Ontario St. festivalatsandpoint.com (208-265-4554) ALAN JACKSON Country concert feat. Gloriana. Aug. 8 at 7 pm. $89-$149. All-ages. Northern Quest, 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights. northernquest.com (481-6700) LEON RUSSELL Concert by the music industry legend. Aug. 8 at 7:30 pm. $37-$47. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7638) KAREN HUNT OPERA The Post Falls High School student performs a solo opera concert. Aug. 9 at 7 pm. $5. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 William St., Post Falls. jacklincenter.org (208-457-8950) BLUE WATERS BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL Three-day bluegrass music festival featuring performances, workshops, camping and more. Aug. 9-11. $15-$45. Waterfront Park, 1386 S. Lefevre St., Medical Lake. bluewatersbluegrass. org JACC INDIE FEST The JACC's first annual indie music fest features live music, an outdoor beer garden and more. Aug. 10 at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. Post Falls Kiwanis Park, 4176 E. Weatherby Ave. jacklincenter.org (208-457-8950) PIANO CONCERT Concert by New York-based pianist Louis Landon. Aug. 10 at 7:30 pm. Free. Steinway Piano Gallery, 13418 E. Nora Ave. steinwayspokane.com (327-4266) HOT AUGUST NIGHTS Jazz concert featuring Lynn Yew Evers on piano. Aug. 11 from 7-9 pm. Donations accepted. Private residence at 8410 N. Kyle Ct. lynnyewevers.com (467-4496)

NORTHWEST MUSIC GROUP PRESENTS...

Seryn Folk/world music concert. Aug. 14 at 8 pm. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com Sammy Hagar Rock concert. Aug. 17 at 8 pm. $69-$139. Northern Quest, 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights. northernquest.com (481-6700) The Long Ear Anniversary Celebration of the record store's 40th anniversary featuring live music, activities, vendors and more. Aug. 17. Free. The Long Ear, 2405 N. Fourth St., CdA (208-765-3472)

nonprofit Elevations. Aug. 10 at 4 pm. Orchard Park, 3300 N. Park Rd., Spokane Valley. hotstart.com (462-1972) Spokane Table Tennis Club Pingpong club meets Wednesdays from 6:30-9 pm. $2/visit. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. (456-3581) Spokane Water Trail The Spokane River Forum presents on recreation opportunities along the Spokane River. Aug. 14 at 7 pm. Free. REI Spokane, 1125 N. Moroe St. (328-9900) Spokane Indians Spokane Indians vs. Hillsboro Hops. Aug. 16-17 and 1920 at 6:30 pm, Aug. 18 at 3:30 pm. $5The Flying Irish Run Weekly 3-mile $11. Avista Stadium, 602 N. Havana St. run. Thursdays at 6 pm. Free. Red Lion spokaneindians.com (325-7328) River Inn, 700 N. Division. flyingirish. Bonner County Rodeo Horses, org bulls, competitions and more. Aug. Tai Chi Workshop Introductory les- 16-17 from 7-9 pm. Bonner County Fairsons and demonstrations. Thursdays grounds, 4203 N. Boyer Ave., Sandat 6 pm. Free. Coeur d'Alene Park, spo- point (208-2563-8414) kanetaichi.com (847-5915) Spokane to Sandpoint Relay 6th Stand-Up Paddleboard Series annual 200-mile team relay race. Aug. Stand-up paddleboard series hosted 16-17. $100/team member. Starts at Mt. by Mountain Gear. Aug. 8 at 6:30 pm. Spokane, main lodge. spokanetosand$15/night. Nine Mile Recreation Area, point.com (541-350-4635) 14925 N. Hedin Rd. mountaingear.com CdA Crossing Swim Second annual (340-1151) 2.4-mile open-water swimming event GoPro Basics Learn how to use the benefiting local charities. Aug. 18 at 8 GoPro camera to capture life on the go. am. $55-$250. All-ages. Starts at the Aug. 8 at 7 pm. Free. REI Spokane, 1125 Hagadone Event Center at the CdA ReN. Moroe St. (328-9900) sort, 900 Floating Green Dr. cdacrossCharity Golf Classic Tournament ing.com (208-769-7819) fundraiser benefiting those affected by WunderWoman Triathlon Olymepilepsy in the Inland Northwest. Aug. pic and sprint triathlons. Aug. 18 at 8 at noon. Coeur d'Alene Resort Golf 7:30 am. Prices vary. Waterfront Park, Course. (499-0536) Medical Lake, Wash. emdesports.com Sunny's Pedal Fundraiser and me- (326-6983) morial bike ride honoring organ donor Sunny Lebsack. Aug. 9. Riders depart from Lewis & Clark High School on a ride to Sun Valley, Idaho. Lewis & Clark Bat Boy Musical comedy based on High School, 521 W. Fourth Ave. sunny- a 1992 Weekly World News story. Through Aug. 10, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, spedal@gmail.com (503-380-9800) Spokane Table Tennis Ping-pong Sun at 2 pm. $10-$15. Lake City Playclub meets on Saturdays from 1-4 pm house, 1320 E. Garden Ave., CdA. lakeand Mondays and Wednesdays from cityplayhouse.org (208-667-1323) 7-9:30 pm. $2/visit; open to the public. The Complete Works of William North Park Racquet Club, 8121 N. Divi- Shakespeare Comedy. Aug. 8-10 at sion. spokanetabletennis.com (768- 7:30 pm, Aug. 4 and 11 at 2 pm. $12-$28. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. 1780) Snake Pit Derby Dames Coeur interplayerstheatre.org (455-7529) d'Alene's Snake Pit Derby Dames vs. Mining Madness at the Mill Perthe Spokannibals. Aug. 10. Skate Plaza, formance of an original play by Carol 5685 N. Pioneer Dr, CdA. snakepi- Roberts. Through Aug. 25. Wed-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $10. Sixth Street trollerderby.com (208-772-9507) Lilac City Roller Girls Women's Melodrama, 212 Sixth St., Wallace, Idaflat track roller derby bout vs. the Mag- ho. (208-752-8871) ic City Rollers. Aug. 10 at 5 pm. $10-$12. Hairspray Musical performance by Spokane County Fair & Expo Center, the Spokane Christian Youth Theater. 404 N. Havana St. lilaccityrollergirls. Aug. 9-10, Fri at 7 pm, Sat at 3 and 7 pm. $10-$14. Bing Crosby Theater, com Hardhat Classic Golf Tourna- 901 W. Sprague Ave. cytspokane.com ment 5th annual event benefiting (487-6540) WSU's Facilities Services Scholarship Joseph & the Amazing TechnicolFund. Aug. 10 from 8 am-2:30 pm. or Dreamcoat Performed by stu$135/player. Palouse Ridge Golf Club, dents in the theater's academy musical 1260 NE Palouse Ridge Dr., Pullman. performance camp. Aug. 9-18, WedSat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $10-$19. hardhatclassic.com Coeur d’Alene Triathlon Triathlon, Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard duathlon, or sprint-distance triath- St. (325-2507) lon. Aug 10. $85+. Downtown Coeur 9 to 5 Musical. Aug. 15-25. Thu-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $28-$42. Schuler d’Alene. cdatriathlon.com (979-1018) Blacktail Lake Hike 6-mile round- Performing Arts Center, 1000 W. Gartrip hike to Blacktail Lake outside of den Ave. (208-769-7780) Sandpoint, hosted by the Idaho Con- REMIX: Improv & Scripted Togethservation League. Aug. 10 from 8 am-4 er Performances featuring a blend of pm. Free, registration required. gdel- scripted and improvised acting in twocharacter scenes. Aug. 15 at 7:30 pm. gadillo@idahoconservation.org Charity Softball Tournament "Us $10-$15. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. vs. Them" softball tournament hosted Howard St. (455-7529) by Hotstart Inc. benefiting the local Church Basement Ladies Musical

Sports

Theater

comedy. Aug. 15-Sept. 1. Wed-Sat at 7:30 pm and Sat-Sun at 2 pm. $12-$28. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. interplayerstheatre.org (455-7529)

Visual Arts

Summer Creativity Series Series of creative arts sessions for children ages 6-12. Thursdays from 1-3:45 pm, through Aug. 15. $12/session. Dahmen Barn, 419 Park Way, Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (229-3414) Rural Life to Coastal Reminisces Painting exhibit featuring the work of Gary Brogan. Through Aug. 25. Galley hours Thu-Sun 10 am-6 pm. Free. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way, Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (229-3414) Artist Studio Tour 10th annual tour of local artists' personal studios. Aug. 9-11 and Aug. 16-18 from 10 am-5 pm. Free. Locations vary in and around Sandpoint. arttourdrive.org (760-5191556) Robert Grimes Exhibition featuring new works by the Spokane-based multimedia artist. Aug. 9-Sept. 7. Artist reception Aug. 9 from 5-8 pm, artist demonstration Aug. 10 at 1 pm. Free. Gallery hours daily from 11 am-6 pm and to 8 pm Fridays. The Art Spirit Gallery, 415 Sherman Ave. theartspiritgallery.com (208-765-6006) Kids' Art Workshop Workshop on creating with Fimo clay. Aug. 9 from 10:30-noon and 1-3 pm. Ages 6-12. Free. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way, Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (229-3414) Coeur d'Alene ArtWalk Monthly art showcase throughout downtown galleries and businesses. Aug. 9 from 5-8 pm. Free. Downtown Coeur d'Alene. artsincda.org (208-292-1629) American Prints "American Prints from the Permanent Collection" exhibition. Aug. 10-Nov. 2. Public walkthrough Oct. 4 at 10:30 am. Gallery hours Mon-Sat from 10 am-4 pm. Jundt Art Musueum, 502 E. Boone Ave. gonzaga.edu/jundt (313-6611) Drawing Perspective Workshop taught by artist Carrie Vielle on drawing depth and three-dimensional space. Aug. 10 from 10 am-3:30 pm. $75. Ages 16+. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way, Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (229-3414) Pop-Up Cards Learn to make pop-up cards and books. Aug. 12-16 from 10 am-noon. $77. Ages 12+. Spokane Art School, 809 W. Garland Ave. spokaneartschool.net (325-3001)

GLEASON FEST is a grassroots, indie music festival to benefit the gleason initiative foundation and to raise awareness about A.L.S., a rare, terminal disease that erodes the nervous system.

BEER GARDEN

• Hey! Is For Horses • The Rustics • Hey Marseilles • Hollow Wood • SSSSnake • Delbert the Band • Blue Scholars

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Frank Zafiro & Colin Conway Presentations and readings by the local mystery authors. Aug. 8 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie's, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) Broken Mic Spoken word open mic night. Wednesdays at 6 pm. All-ages. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First Ave. (847-1234) Josh Gross The Boise Weekly reporter reads and talks about his book "The Hack." Aug. 18 at 1 pm. Free. Auntie's, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) Jenny Milchman The author reads from and talks about her debut novel "Cover of Snow Debut." Aug. 20 at 7 pm. Free. Auntie's, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) n

TEAM GLEASON

FEATURING LIVE MUSIC BY

Aug/Sept Edition On Stands Now!

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THE NETHERCUTT

F O U N D AT I O N C I T I Z E N S H I P

TOURNAMENT COMING THIS FALL! The Nethercutt Foundation is offering local 4th, 8th and 12th graders the chance to win scholarships, prizes and even a trip to Washington D.C.

LAST WEEK’S QUESTION: We elect a U.S. Senator for how long? ANSWER:

B Six (6) years

TO LEARN MORE: nethercuttfoundation.org

1901 N Division St | 509 328-1229

ACROSS 1. Golfer known as “The Big Easy” 4. Printing problem 8. Food brand providing “big crunch since 1942” 14. “____ Te Ching” 15. Part of BYOB or MYOB 16. Certain battery 17. Adorable thing to slip a shoe on, to a Spanglish speaker? 19. Audiophile’s setup 20. “House Hunters” network 21. Exxon, previously 23. Animal with a silent “g” in its name 24. Booze 28. There is something to feed the birds, to a Spanglish speaker? 30. XXXI x V 31. Alt-rock genre 32. Eminem’s “Just ____” 33. Carnival site

58 58 INLANDER INLANDER AUGUST AUGUST 8, 8, 2013 2013

34. Moved to a better fishing spot, maybe 36. Slays, mob-style 40. Nearly a dozen over the course of one’s years, to a Spanglish speaker? 44. Blubber 45. Corp. creativity department 46. WWII USN carrier 47. “Hmm, yes ...” 50. Bombay Sapphire, e.g. 51. Mil. officers 52. Lacking a major metropolis, to a Spanglish speaker? 55. U.S. Supreme Court justice who said “I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged” 57. Enero-to-diciembre period 58. Future doc’s exam

60. Poker pot starter 62. Wodehouse’s Wooster 64. Death of an ocean-dwelling predator, to a Spanglish speaker? 68. Outcome 69. Start of some carrier names 70. Tic-tac-toe winner 71. Madison Ave. VIP 72. “American Reunion” actress Tara 73. ICU workers DOWN 1. Inscribe permanently 2. Wrinkle near the corner of the eye 3. Hushed 4. Exit line 5. Shorten 6. Overseas agreement 7. Site of many a cat rescue 8. Matthew who founded a college in 1861

“SPANGLISH”

9. 1991 autobiography subtitled “Growing Up in the Jackson Family” 10. Whiz 11. Suit fabric 12. “The L Word” creator Chaiken

13. 2012 Tom Hanks film “____ Atlas” 18. 1961 Literature Nobelist Andric 22. Slight variations of color 25. Actress Hatcher 26. “Shake a leg!”

27. Informal greeting 29. “Great” red feature of THIS Jupiter 30. Singer Sheryl ANSW WEEK’S ER 35. Portuguese “she” PAGE S ON 37. Spell 61 38. Something typically found between 88 MHz and 108 MHz 39. Filming locations 41. More awesome than awesome 42. Govt. money insurer 43. Bart’s teacher 48. Cool as a cucumber, for one 49. “I won’t bore you with the rest” 52. Native Israeli 53. “That’s all ____!” 54. Viking’s tongue 56. “Mighty ____ a Rose” (1901 song) 59. Old Russian despot 61. Grandson of Adam and Eve 63. Awards ceremony rental 65. Donkey syllable 66. NFL’s Cardinals, on scoreboards 67. Singer Stewart

Ross's Memories on Monroe

2802 N Monroe Street. Antiques & More! Mon-Sat 10am-5pm IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF WASHINGTON FOR THE COUNTY OF SPOKANE Case No.: 11-2-01901-7 SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION AURORA LOAN SERVICES LLC, Plaintiff, vs. MERRILL MONDAY; et al, Defendants. TO: FINANCIAL RECOVERY GROUP THE STATE OF WASHINGTON TO THE SAID DEFENDANTS: You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to wit, within sixty days after the 1st day of August, 2013, and defend the above entitled action in the above entitled court, and answer the complaint of the Plaintiff, AURORA LOAN SERVICES LLC, and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorneys for Plaintiff, McCarthy & Holthus, LLP at the office below stated; and in case of your failure so to do, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint, which has been filed with the clerk of said court. The basis for the complaint is a foreclosure of the property commonly known as 3204/3206 Meadow Glen Lane, Cheney, WA 99004, Spokane County, Washington for failure to pay loan amounts when due. MCCARTHY & HOLTHUS, LLP 19735 10th Ave NE, Suite N-200 Poulsbo WA 98370 PH: 206-319-9100

BUYING Estate contents /household goods. See abesdiscount.com or 509-939-9996

PHONE: (509) 444-SELL • EMAIL: sales@inlander.com

Hello there! I’m Midnight 2657; & I came into the Spokane county animal shelter (SCRAPS) 7-20-13. I’m an adult female short haired cat. I’m declawed so I need to stay indoors. I’m a little shy at first & frightened of the other cats here at the shelter. I can’t tell you how much I love scratches on the EARS & CHEEKS! I’m a little nervous being held but love to curl up in your lap - so a home without small children would be best for me. So if you’re gentle, patient & looking for a forever feline friend, please come meet me & give me a chance :)

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A MONTH

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LEGEND NORTH DOWNTOWN

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Equal Housing Opportunity All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Law which makes it illegal to advertise any preference to, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for our real estate which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain on discrimination call HUD free at 1-800-669-9777. The toll free telephone number for the hearing impaired is 1-800-927-9275.

Historic Brick Building ~ Walk Downtown ~ Front & Back Courtyards ~ Hardwood Floors ~ Across from Park ~ 3 bedroom $835

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AUGUST 8, 2013 INLANDER 59

“Spokane’s Original Gourmet Cupcake Shop”

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Block Party

Have creative, local, & diverse merchandise?

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First Time Clients Only • Valid ID Required Regular Adult and Child prices and ages may vary by location. Present coupon before haircut. Not valid with any other offer. Coupon may not be bartered, copied, traded, or sold. Valid only at Spokane area locations. EXPIRES 8/31/13 • CODE 2106/2107

Loyal Returning Clients • Valid ID Required Regular Adult and Child prices and ages may vary by location. Present coupon before haircut. Not valid with any other offer. Coupon may not be bartered, copied, traded, or sold. Valid only at Spokane area locations. EXPIRES 8/31/13 • CODE 2108

IT’S GOOD TO BE A GUY

sportclips.com

To Cowards! r e t a C e W

IT’S FREE

1. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers, Jeers). 2. Provide basic info about you: name, address, phone. 3. Email it to ISawYou@inlander.com by 3 pm Monday.

I Saw You

Cheers

Argonne Monday 7/22 at 5:16 pm Argonne by the MacDonalds, You were in a blue pick-up truck heading north and I was in a blue Chevy Cobalt heading south. You smiled and waved to me and I smiled and waved back. We made eye contact at the red light, I would love to meet you for a drink sometime.

knew me from somewhere. I was so flustered that I just shrugged my shoulders and you were gone. I’d love to meet you there again and buy the coffee this time. How about it?

may have in store in order for us to be together and I vow to make my life about us, I would place this life as the most important and the most beautiful event that has ever happened in my lifetime. I pray everyday, I ask the Lord to bring us together and to watch over us as a devoted and loving family.

You Said “the most beautiful person I have yet to know”.. and yet, we do have knowledge of each other, and have been in a strange, elliptical orbit, however obscure, for some time now. We know each other in the sidelong way two people have, dancing around the sweetly hidden truth. We rarely touch, from fear more than anything, aware of electric possibility. You re-entered my life in a dramatic way, and I would expect nothing less from such a fabulous being. What is it about the Divine at work that brings us together at such a time? I can’t know the future, any more than the will of the Universe, yet the strength of our connection and the vibration between us leads me onwards. I will go on Faith, and trust that the Way will reveal itself, as it unfolds. Namasté, lovely light of Life, we recognize one another.

Walgreens By Costco Is it true? Did I find the cowboy of my dreams? I saw you on 8/1 at Walgreens by Costco on N. Division. I was wearing a long, beige skirt with a white t-shirt, and a long necklace. I have mid-length brown hair. We both smiled at each other, more than once. So, if you’re not attached and would like to get to know me better, then please respond to this ad. Cowgirl up!

TO CONNECT

“j.smith@comcast.net.”

Lunch Delivery Friday July 26th, I was the brunette girl making a sandwich delivery to your office, a roast beef on whole wheat. You were working at your computer when I came in. Your smile took my breath away. You caught me off guard. Coffee or a drink sometime? On Sunday, August 4th, at the Wellesley and Francis stoplight. I was in the lane to turn left, you were going north. You were wearing sunglasses and looked adorable. You were rocking to your music. I was in the black Escalade. You waved, but I had to make the left turn, the other cars behind me were honking. You are really cute, and I wish I’d given you the smile you deserve. I hope to see you around Starbucks At 5-Mile It was a Sunday afternoon and you were in line in front of me. You are a redhead, with the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen. You asked me if you

My Love The passion I`m feeling for you is growing every moment. You’re the most beautiful man I have ever known. Your loving words are burning deep down to my everlasting being. Please tell me that this is real, that I`m the one you need for the rest of our lives together ? I would be lost without you now and I feel a-bit shaken too. I have washed away most of my fears that I once had in the past. I understand what the future

Part of

(509) 209-3954 1702 E RIVERSIDE(behind the Tin Roof) Open Tues & Thur 10-5 & family

Random Act of Kindness On August 1,2013 at the Burger King at the Y, a very nice gentleman purchased my dinner. I was in the car behind him in the drive-thru lane. It was a dark blue car I remember. I was leery of random acts of kindness but you have proved there are people like that around. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and restoring my belief in people again. Orion Experience On the night I shared this thought with you, I arrived home, walked out under the stars, and offered my heart to the night sky. I was intensely blessed, as I watched the heavens make way for the brightest of shooting stars to surrender its path directly through Orion. Dante’s notion: The secret rhythm of the universe is the rhythm of love, which moves the stars and planets. Love is the source, center, and destiny of experience. My notion: You know who you are. Customer Service When experiencing a problem with my AC unit, Greenstone Homes was right there to help me. In a matter of minutes, they provided the best customer service in the world. Go, Greenstone! Want a bulder--check out Greenstone Homes. Thank You! I want to say Thank You to the person who was kind enough to call the person of the check that I lost and return it to them, so that I could get my check back. Thank you again. Her name is Cindy and she rides the STA 174 Liberty Lake express bus in the morning from Mirabeau Park Ride

Road Crew Cheers to the road crew that fixed Francis!! You officially made everyday of my life better. Thank you on behalf of the Northside community! Thank You! To the doctors, nurses and staff at Sacred Heart Hospital for taking great care of my brother-in-law. Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you my beautiful wife Jill. I love you more than the words can ever express. Thank you for all you are. XOXO Jack Good Samaritan Thank you so much! I was parked on Monroe and I had to walk to City Hall. I forgot to put money in my meter, and I realized this when I got to City Hall! I hurried back to my SUV and there was 30 minutes on the meter! Thank you so much, you saved me a parking ticket. Forever and Ever Cheers to the genetics of the beautiful woman in my life, who has given me the most adorable baby girl anyone could ask for. Before I met you and settled down with you, I was in a low place in life. But you being the SUPERHERO you are, you picked me up and gave me a sense of hope and

Happy Tears! The other day I saw a guy without a shirt carrying an ax on Nevada. Months ago my neighbor screamed obscenities and smashed his meth pipe in the street. It can be difficult to remain positive about humanity at times, but then you found my keys and ID in Friendship Park, called Crime Check and asked around if someone was missing keys. Lyndsey S. is this week’s winner Hours later when I frantically of the “Say it Sweet” promotion! ran back to the park and Send in your CHEERS so was told that the woman in you too can be enthe pink shirt had found some tered to win 1 dozen keys, you confirmed my identity. Thank you for the happy tears! May “Cheers” cupcakes at blessings fall from above. Celebrations Sweet

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60 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

SpokAnimal Angels To the woman on the phone and the animal control officer that came to get a stray cat that had passed away in my greenhouse, thank you for your compassion and kindness toward the poor kitty as well as my self. Being an animal lover I was quite upse,t but these sweet souls were very kind and understanding. We are lucky to have such special people looking out for our furry friends!

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Seeking My Sister Your name is Carissa, you should be either 22 or 23 years old, your mother’s name is Cindy, and last time I saw you, I was about 4. Your mom and my dad were married when you were born and the next thing I knew, you were gone! All this time I have been thinking that I have a little sister out there that I am never going to meet. So, if your mom’s name is Cindy and she was married to Steve, and you are Carissa, please reply to this!

Near The Water You are absolutely gorgeous and wore a flamming tatoo on your arm. Wish we could talk more. Where do you get your Put a non-identifying email work done? I am wanting to find a address in your message, like parlor that will tatoo your escence “petals327@yahoo.com” — not on my skin.

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security, and a new passion for life. I love you and forever will. But please babe, my hands are tired from all the feet rubbing you ask for.

there to help me get every part I needed. You offered freindly service I’ve gotten nowhere else in this city, so once again thank you so much. The world needs more people like you. Keep on running the best store around.

You’re telling him his imagination is not wanted in public, that no one, wants to hear it. Can you imagine what that is doing to him? It broke my heart into pieces. You are teaching him hate and teaching him he is not important. That is disgusting behavior for a mother. Would it have been better if he was screaming and kicking in his stroller? How about grabbing things off the shelve and throwing them? So very selfish of you and to think you had a baby in tow as well. I really hope you can see how precious they both are before it is too late and to the dad standing there letting his son be completely disrespected.

Hello Batman I am elated we reconnected after 6 years. I have always loved you and you were forever on my mind all those years. My heart skips beats hearing your voice and the anticipation of seeing you overwhelms my every thought. Love only happens once in a lifetime and I know this is the real thing. Hoping that our future may bring forever togetherness without reservation or regrets. I love you. Come into the Batcave and be with your Batgirl. Happy Birthday! to the best husband any woman could have or want. You’ve given me the best gift a girl could ever want. You’ve made all my dreams come true. It’s your birthday and I can’t wait to spend it with you. You’re my best friend and my love. I am so proud and excited to be yours. You’re going to have the best birthday ever. This is just the beginning. Love your adoring wife. A Big Thanks Great big thanks and cheers to the SCRAPS folks who responded almost immediately to my call about a dog wandering around on Northwest Blvd. The poor puppy had a collar and tag, but refused to come in my car and kept running back into the street! I was so happy to come back to see the SCRAPS gal loading up the dog! Yeah! Happy ending and I hope the owners have claimed their lost dog! Keep up the great work! Customer Service To the wonderful men at Napa. You men are absolutely wonderful. On Friday, August 2nd, when my VW Golf started breaking you guys were

Jeers Sob Story Scam To the guy outside Safeway who asked me for money with that great sob story about you not being a creeper, not being able to get a hold of anyone, and needing some extra cash. It convinced me to pull out some small bills in my wallet and would have told you not to even worry about coming back with the $10 I started to hand you, until you asked for $20. As I waited in the magazine aisle along with mindful employees wondering how long I was going to stand there, couldn’t help wonder how big your smile was after turning to tell me you’d be back in “15 minutes!!” Thanks for turning my ice cream run into a broke ass-weekend. RE: Breakup Text This sounds like it was meant for me. If you are JW then just get in touch with me. I am curious as to what you meant by it’s too late, or is it? I Have No Words! A big jeers to the mom at Winco on Saturday, August 3rd who warned her child to stop using his imagination or she will take away his toy. I heard your precious child from a few aisles down, the little voice roaring, it melted my heart right away. Then I saw him in his stroller holding the dinosaur being ever so sweet, (how cuuuuute!!) i just absolutely love hearing and seeing children in their element! That soft warm feeling was quickly jolted when shortly after I spotted him I hear you snap at him to “knock it off or I will take it away!!” Ummmmm what?!

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Shh! Jeeers to people who talk during the church sermon. Your lack of manners and common courtesy prevents those around you from hearing the minister. Also, if an older person is looking for a seat, allow her to have the aisle seat. Spokane Drivers Ok, I give up, you win, if you can’t fight them join them, as the saying goes. I’ve complained about the lousy driving habits around here long enough. From now on I’m with you, I refuse to use my turn signal, and if I happen to forget and do use it, I’ll do it when I’m actually in the process of turning, the hell with that 100’ thingy. Guess what, surprise, if you run into the back of my car, I’ll sue your ass off for following to close. I’m going to use the fast lane of traffic exclusively and hopefully impede everyone that actually has to be somewhere. And when I have to turn, I’ll of course stop in my lane until it’s safe for me to crossover, however many lanes there are so I can get into K-Mart or where ever I suddenly decide to go . The hell with planning ahead. I’m going to start using my cell phone only when I get in my car and I’m gonna learn how to text while driving, this, of course, means sitting through multiple green lights, or until someone actually honks their horn behind me and then I’ll only go at the last minute so you, my friends, can wait through another red light. I’ll join everyone else and not worry about getting a ticket because the cops are seldom seen. From now on no more 60 mph speed zones for me on the freeway, I’m getting in that line always doing 70 -80. And last, but certainly not least I’m gonna tail gate the hell out of anyone in front of me. So thanks to all you Spokane and Idaho drivers for helping me see the light, perhaps joining you will keep my blood pressure down.

AUGUST 8 2013 INLANDER 61

Oasis of Weird Mike Ferguson deals in unique artifacts and immense statuary at his roadside auction house BY JACOB JONES

eyond the red double-decker bus, past the marble lions and neon signs, out behind the cast-iron eagles, aluminum buffalo and gargoyles, Mike Ferguson reclines in the shadow of a 30-foot metal palm tree. Shirtless in the afternoon heat, he speaks into his cellphone, placing an order for more flying saucers. Just off the freeway west of Spokane, Ferguson has established a surreal, park-like sales lot that would make Willy Wonka proud. At I-90 Auctions, he deals in the massive and ridiculous, selling immense statues, rare antiques and wild ideas. “There’s nothing that scares me,” he says. “Right now, I’d like to buy an airplane, like a 737 size, because I want to turn one into a guest house.”

62 INLANDER AUGUST 8, 2013

Ferguson, 53, once operated out of a house along Ruby Street, packing the yard with statues, fountains and cast-iron collectibles. Starting with antiques and sculptures, he eventually took on importing larger pieces personally from China, Mexico and Italy. “The fun for me is still acquisitions, finding stuff,” he says, adding, “It’s just what I think is cool.” Ferguson says he invests about 60 percent of his money on his proven winners, customer favorites that always sell well. He spends another 30 percent on new or “cool” stuff he wants to try out. The last 10 percent he spends on “stupid” things, just gambling on what might sell big. But when the recession hit, people stopped thinking

Mike Ferguson: “The fun for me is still acquisitions, finding stuff.”

JACOB JONES PHOTO

big. Sales plummeted. Ferguson moved the store out to his home along Interstate 90, filling the surrounding acreage with metal-frame garden conservatories, aluminum dinosaurs, exotic animal statues and bizarre signs. With his new space, Ferguson created an inviting oasis of weird. Curious travelers pull in for a rest from the road and reality. Children explore the maze of wonders and relics, including playground equipment salvaged from Natatorium Park. Passing bikers picnic under angelic stone sculptures. In 2010, Ferguson suffered another hit when a routine medical test uncovered prostate cancer. To pay the bills, he returned to his previous career as a nurse with the VA Medical Center. He and his family sold off much of the statue inventory as they prepared for the worst. Three years later, both Ferguson and the economy have recovered. His prognosis is good and sales are on the rise. Just last week, Ferguson quit his nursing job to go back to the auction house full-time. It’s time to start thinking big again. Ferguson already has plans for his next trip to China, dreaming up a new inventory of larger statues, stranger pieces and unlimited possibilities. “The bigger and crazier the risk,” he says, “the bigger and crazier the payoff at the end.” n jacobj@inlander.com

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FESTIVAL CONCERTS THIS WEEK! ATSANDPOINT AUG 8 - 12, 2013 THE

Thursday, August 8th

JOHN BUTLER TRIO with ECLECTIC APPROACH Friday, August 9th

UT STEVE MILLER BAND O with D LMATTOANDERSON S

Super Saturday August 10th

THE AVETT BROTHERS

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Sunday, August 11th Grand Finale

“Festival Fan Fare”

SPOKANE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA

208-265-4554

Taste of the Stars Wine Tasting

Or order online at:

www.FestivalAtSandpoint.com AUGUST 8, 2013 INLANDER 63

August 15th • 7 pm GENERAL $50 RESERVED $60 Purchase tickets at the casino or any TicketsWest outlet.

CUSTOMER

APPRECIATION

CONCERT Saturday, August 17th • 8 pm Chinook Meadow • Free

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September 29th • 7 pm GENERAL $30 RESERVED $40

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25 miles south of Coeur d’Alene at the junction of US-95 and Hwy-58