The Ionian July 2012

The Ionian July 2012 Volume 3. Issue 5 www.theionian.com COMPLIMENTARY/∆ΩΡΕΑΝ Please recycle: give to a friend or neighbour when finished.

Berth of a best-seller Bill and Laurel Cooper talk to The Ionian Page 8

The art of keeping cool Page 5

An Olympic day out Page 6

Nibbles in Nidri Page 11

Handyman in paradise Page 12 July 2012 www.theionian.com The Ionian 1

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The Ionian Contact us: Email: admin@theionian.com Website: www.theionian.com Founding Publisher: Justin Smith Publisher: Barbara Molin Managing Editor: Barbara Molin Editor Martin Stote Business Advisor: Yannis Dimopoulos Business Advisor: Ryan Smith Greek Editors: V. Gigi and V. Lekkas Layout: Barbara Molin Printing: Graphic Arts Advertising: Colleen Shears Kim Davies Subscriptions: Barbara Molin You can download The Ionian free as a PDF document from our website: www.theionian.com.

The Ionian is published monthly. Published on the last day before each month, approximately.

Publication is for informational purposes only.

Although The Ionian has made every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this publication, the publisher cannot be held responsible for any errors or omissions it may contain. The opinions expressed by the contributors are not necessarily held by the publisher.

Published in Canada.

Keeping Cool

In Greece, you can easily tell the locals from the visitors. They’re the ones wearing jeans and long sleeves in summer - as in this month’s cover photo

by Lies van’t Net. The rest of us have been trying to keep cool as much as possible by taking dips in the sea, seeking shade, and even hanging in a hammock in the breeze under a couple of trees (the new branch office of The Ionian’s publisher) to cope with a heat wave.

In her article, The art of keeping cool on page 5 of this issue, Barbara de Machula gives a few timely tips on how to do just that, including a novel use for the often under-rated wet rag. With temperatures here well into sweltering, plus the final of the Euro 2012 soccer set for July 1st, and the 2012 Olympics in London following a few weeks later, this promises to be a month when remaining calm may not seem an option.

But Bill and Laurel Cooper managed it time and again during 36 years of sailing adventures, many of their exploits recounted in their best-seller Sell Up and Sail. In Berth of a best-seller on page 8, the first of three articles for which they have spoken to The Ionian, they tell our Editor Martin Stote how they wrote much of the book in the Ionian, which remains one of their favourite cruising grounds.

Robin Lamb also managed to keep his cool, if not his appetite, when he found the heads on his yacht Sundowner blocked. In Handyman in paradise on page 12, he tells us how he dealt with the problem quietly, methodically, and with only a passing attack of nausea.

Plato Chipz’s appetite is legendary, and as undiminished as ever as he and “Old Wheezy” fall upon another defenceless meal, this time at JD’s Bistro in Nidri. See his review, Nibbles in Nidri on page 11.

Paradoxically, Rosanne Hodin found shade beneath the olive trees, and Cover Photo: Fisherman in Vonitsa. Photo was struck by the air of peace and tranquillity when she visited the origiby Lies van’t Net. To purchase any of our pho- nal site of the Olympics near Katakolon on the Peloponnese. She detos or to submit your own for cover shot conscribes her visit in An Olympic Day out on page 6. sideration, please email us at: editor@theionian.com Enter our annual calenEnjoy reading... dar photo competition. For more information ~~~_/) Barbara Molin check our website at: www.theionian.com

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want to stay as close to the fridge as possible, try putting a wet cloth in front of the fan. You will feel the air become much cooler than usual, evaporating water cools the towel and that air will become a nice cool breeze. Wet the cloth regularly and you have your own air conditioner.

Talking about the fridge, in the morning I put several water or ice tea bottles in the freezer and when it gets really hot I enjoy my melted ice drinks to cool me down. My new puppy gets a dip with his paws in cold water to cool him down, and of course fresh water to drink, but not chilled.

The art of keeping cool Barbara de Machula

I

To conclude my cold tips, here is a recipe I love: Jamie Oliver’s yummy drink found in 30 Minute Meals.

Lemon Ginger drink Ice cubes 1 x 330ml can of fizzy lemonade a few sprigs of fresh mint a 2cm piece of fresh ginger 1 bottle of sparkling water

You will see the water factory where all the water is t has been a hot spring. Summer stole the bottled, but if you continue to Instructions: follow the road, turn left by the winter like a quick thief in the night. My first Fill a large jug halfway with painting student had to endure a lot of rain, cold church and drive down to a ice. Add the lemonade and nights, and we even had to heat the stove a few nearly abandoned village, evenings, not so long ago. And then suddenly, which is now only visited by mint sprigs. Peel and finely people filling up their water summer kicked in, and all the blankets had to grate in 2cm of ginger. Top tanks. The remnants of a once go, we had to use the fan, and making ice tea up with sparkling water, mix lively spa and health resort are became a daily chore. Heat was here! The with wooden spoon and take still visible, little cabins where plants burst into flowers and fruit, and people once stayed to enjoy to the table. periods of healing and recovery with Korpi water treatment.

There are many of these cabins, and you can Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals is published by imagine that in the old days this must have been Michael Joseph, Penguin, priced ₤26.00. a busy place. The water is cool and refreshing, Available at all good bookstores. it is lovely to feel the little chilly stream trickle between your toes. There are only a few people Barbara de Machula is keeping cool in her garden on a mountain near Palairos. She is an around, and much of the time you will be on artist, originally from Amsterdam. your own there. The water www.paintingholidaygreece.com flows down from the mountains when the winter snow melts.

Slowly it seeps through the stones, where it is filtered and mineralized. The water eventually flows down to a big lake at the feet of the Korpi Filing up at Korpi springs valley.

Another cool place is the waterfall near Nidri on the island swimming in the sea was a sure way to cool down. And the temperature was matched by the of Lefkada. This is visited by more political discussions in the taverna, which were tourists, but that eerie, magical green pool is certainly refreshing. getting everyone very hot under the collar.

It used to be the home of many Now that the elections are behind us, we green frogs, on a quiet day when hope that the European demands will ease up walking along the path to the and allow us to cool down a bit, and maybe waterfall you can hear them even give a little breathing space so we can performing a concert that deafens rethink our ideas on how to tackle the crisis. your ears. There is a footpath Meanwhile, I would like to share a few tricks leading up to the spacious natural on how to keep your cool on a hot day. gallery deep in the rocks and A delightful place to visit is the wells of Korpi in the mountains near Preveza. You may luscious green fronds hang down already be familiar with the blue bottles which from the walls. There are some rare birds, but you can spot them you can buy, containing crystal clear water. If you visit the wells, you can fill up your bottles only on very quiet days. It is for free with that same water. The wells are on certainly a good idea to take a dip the mainland near the village of Vonitsa. From in the green pool, the water is quite chilly and pretty clear. there you go down to Palairos, turn left to If you are not too keen on taking Monastiraki and follow the sign that says trips in the hot weather, and you Nidri Falls ©Julie Farren Nestleé Hellas.

July 2012 www.theionian.com The Ionian 5

An Olympic day out Rosanne Hodin

pleased, and for most of our four-hour visit we were alone. It's a huge site, with olive trees growing through the tumbled stones, and shade, lizards and wild flowers everywhere.

It is extraordinary that the site was only found and excavated in 1875.

Imagine the search and then the discovery of the first of the remains, found under six meters of alluvial mud. It was extraordinary too to be walking in the very place of the first Olympic flame as the 2012 flame was being relayed around Britain.

The monuments range in antiquity over multiple centuries, and the earliest occupation was a Bronze Age encampment on the hillside of Mt. Kronos. The site was believed to be a sacred grove, rich in spirit life. The

The Altis, the sacred Grove

and a large crowd gathered on the road ahead. Surely this wasn't right? It seems that we had stumbled on a national cycling event, a race 2012 Olympics start on July 27th, and Danny from Olympia to wherever, with a very generous Boyle, the director of the opening ceremony, has assembly of supporters. And off they went... promised synthetic rain clouds to remind the Once we were past the ticket office, a huge crowds of Britain’s famously perverse weather, mantle of calm settled over us. There were just in case it doesn’t rain for real. After all, it groups of visitors who were attached to a guide rained in the UK during the Diamond Jubilee and were herded from one site to the next, but weekend. But Rosanne Hodin got the best of we were as free as thistledown to go where we both worlds. She visited the original site in the sunny Peloponnese.

The monuments range in

It could only happen in the UK. The London

“Be there early to avoid the huge crowds”.

That was the advice we got from everyone. The Ionian pilot book gave the helpful suggestion that as Olympia would have been thronged with eager crowds in the fifth century BC, one should

antiquity over multiple centuries, and the earliest occupation was a Bronze Age encampment on the hillside of Mt. Kronos. The site was believed to be a sacred grove, rich in spirit life.

Head and shoulders probably of Poppea Sabina 2nd wife of Nero 480 BC

archaeologists have found round-ended stone huts which are thought to be the earliest monuments, but the first of the temple remains is a beautiful rectangular temple to Hera, from 600BC, and one of the earliest Doric temples in Greece. As well as featuring a statue of Hera it would have housed statues of significant women.

Strange, considering the site was only accessible to men. The largest of the

Olympic Staddium seatig 45,000 male only spectators

not feel bothered by them now.

We had arrived in our own boat and moored on the quay at Katakolon. From here one can either hire a car, or take a taxi to nearby Pirgos and then board one of the frequent buses. There is a train going directly to Olympia, but that is for the exclusive use of passengers from the cruise liners.

We hired a car to share with friends but even so maybe we were not going to be there that early. Along the quay where we were moored, a large cruise liner was docked, and eleven coaches parked nearby to carry whoever wanted to join us at Olympia.

As we arrived, a helicopter was circling overhead, police cars had set up a road block, 6 The Ionian www.theionian.com July 2012

The temple of Zeus, fallen columns

temples is of course to Zeus and the vast pillars lie as they would have fallen during one of the two earthquakes believed to have ravaged the site. The sanctuary gradually fell into disuse after the Christianisation of the area, when pagan rites were abandoned or suppressed.

Games and worship went hand in hand at Olympia and in its later heyday they were separated on the site. The athletes and their supporters were given accommodation and practice areas and luxurious thermal bath systems. The access to the stadium for the competitors was through a dramatic tunnel, from which, presumably, they made a spectacular entrance.

We sat on the grassy slope of the stadium, designed to seat 45,000 spectators. The view is fantastic now and would have been then.

It is wonderful to think that honour and glory were the prize, both for the winner and for his city state. This was not a games driven by commercial interest. There was no prize money. There were sixteen little pedestals where those who had cheated had made apologetic statues of Zeus, presumably to appease the Gods, who would have been offended by such an insult.

We wandered peacefully and in awe. The place still feels magical, still seems a sacred grove. It was quiet. It was serene. We were overcome by the conundrum of trying to make sense of these random stones.

In the museum, the treasures found on site were displayed, lit simply and to the utmost effect. Having seen the temples, it was quite possible to imagine these statues, votive offerings, and vases all in their original

Olympic stadium entrance ©J. Farren

positions.

Part of the ceremonial process involved extraordinary, free-standing containers like baptismal fonts decorated with lion heads or gaping griffons.

We saw exquisite glass flasks from a nearby tomb, pale azure in colour, and some flawless. Not visible was the huge chryselephantine statue of Zeus designed by Pheidias.

Chryselephantine statues were usually larger than life, built around a wooden frame, covered with thin carved slabs of ivory to represent the flesh, and sheets of gold leaf for the garments. Pheidias went on to design the Parthenon.

But the statue of Zeus was seized by conquering Turks and transported to Istanbul where it was destroyed by fire. This statue would have dominated the temple of Zeus, and was so vast and impressive that it would have left those who saw it filled with awe. We didn’t see it. But we were still talking about Olympia twenty four hours later.

Michael and Rosanne Hodin sailed from Plymouth in 2010 on their Dufour Classic 41 yacht Ethel. They spent 2011 happily cruising the Ionian. This year they hope to go round the Peleponnese and return to Preveza via the Corinth Canal.

Columns from the Philippeon, completed by Alexander the Great

Photos by Mary Ashworth unless otherwise noted.

Hermes bearing the infant Dionyseus

by Praxiteles ©Julie Farren

The Ionian 7 Lions and July stag,2012 handlewww.theionian.com of the lid of a votive cauldron

ago they have enjoyed the unorthodox, free-spirited, but sometimes hazardous life of the long-distance live-aboarder, sailing nearly 100,000 miles - the equivalent of four circumnavigations – visiting 45 different countries, including the eastern seaboard of the USA, the Caribbean, and most of the Mediterranean.

They survived the worst perils the cruel sea could throw at them, most famously, the 100 mph Hurricane Alberta which hit them 200 miles out from Bermuda in 1982. They literally battened down the hatches as the sea foamed around them, at one point rolling Fare Well right over.

When the worst was over, Bill ventured on deck, only to be struck by lightning. Not unreasonably, his hair stood on end.

Fare Well, Kassiopi, The couple were later Corfu 1977 awarded a Royal Naval Sailing Association medal for seamanship. And in March of in the Med under her belt. this year Yachting Monthly She also suffered with a included them in a feature on nyone moored up in Port Vathi on congenital and painful hip the magazine’s top 25 cruising heroes, which also Meganisi in the summer of 1985 may have seen problem. In preparation, she learned navigation at saluted the Hiscocks, Maurice a petite, sun-tanned woman, looking much a sailing school in Cowes Griffiths, and Robin Knoxyounger than her 56 years, sat on the spacious and accompanied friends Johnson. For all their sea stern deck of an impressive 50 ft steel ketch on coastal and cross miles, the Coopers admit, pounding away furiously on a battered old Channel sorties. But rather touchingly, “My portable typewriter. when the moment came, goodness, that was a surprise.

The woman was Laurel Cooper, and the she shared Bill’s We were so chuffed.” yacht was Fare Well, in which nine years During those years they have earlier she and her husband Bill had sailed from excitement.

“A burden rolled off my shoulders that I had been frequent visitors to the Ionian, which the UK, having decided to sell their beautiful never been aware of,” she wrote in their book. remains one of their favourite sailing grounds. six-bedroomed home, a converted Georgian “I smelt the sea, saw the first of many ocean In this, the first of three articles for which they coaching inn on the banks of the Medway at sunsets, and felt a freedom I had never known have spoken to The Ionian magazine, they Maidstone, Kent, in the UK, quit the rat race, and spend the rest of their lives like a modern- before.” And she told The Ionian, “Our income explain why they love the area and how the was a tenth of what it had been but we were ten islands have changed since they first arrived in day Odysseus. times as happy.”

Argostoli on Cephalonia in 1977.

Which is a clue to the title of the book they Sell Up and Sail has made them, if not a In the second article, in next month’s issue, were writing. Sell Up and Sail, first published they recall how Laurel was badly burned in a in 1986, became a bestseller, and has run to five household name, certainly a name known to most sailing families. The sub title is, Pursue cooking accident on deck in Liyia, on the editions. It has sold over 25,000 copies mainland just north of Igoumenitsa, a in the UK, been published in a “I was entrenched in a frightening squall in 2003 in Vliho Bay translated edition in Sweden, and in comfortable little life and saw no the USA by Sheridan House. It is commonly dubbed the bible for liveWriting “Sell up and sail” - Meganisi aboard sailors, although that suggests a reason to abandon it in order to Autumn 85 gravitas and a worthiness which does get wet, cold, and seasick away not capture its sometimes irreverent, from my books, cats and lively and seditious tone.

When they first decided to sell up children...” and sail, Bill was a shoe-in for the the Dream, and indeed Bill wrote in the first maritime adventures ahead. He was a former chapter of the book, “...it is a romantic dream Lieutenant Commander in the Royal Navy, a that has the chance of coming true...” But the professional navigator, a restless and adventurous spirit turned City gilts broker who chapter concludes, “Dreams can become a reality. It is hard work, rather than magic that was frustrated by his commuter’s lifestyle gets it done.” working as a financial advisor to the Harold And that is the key to the book’s huge appeal.

Wilson government. One day he had a Reggie It is not a manual for lotus eaters. It is an Perrin moment, and instead of boarding the train to London, returned home and told Laurel immensely practical, no-nonsense, pragmatic, wry and humorous guide on how to survive and that he was going to finish Fare Well, the hull enjoy a life like theirs, packed from cover to of which had been professionally constructed, but which he had been fitting out at the bottom cover with information and advice from the fundamental – Can I afford it? Am I the right of the garden, and cut loose.

Laurel, then a magistrate and art teacher, was sort of person? What sort of boat would serve best? – to the minutiae of domestic tips. “In a less likely candidate. “I was entrenched in a Greece, every household keeps a pot of basil to comfortable little life and saw no reason to abandon it in order to get wet, cold, and seasick keep the flies away. This is the little-leafed basil, not the one with the large leaves grown in away from my books, cats and children,” she wrote later in their book. She had sailed on the Italy to go with tomatoes.”

It tells how since leaving the UK 36 years Broads, and had one four week cruise with Bill

Berth of a best-seller Martin Stote

A

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reminiscent of last year’s hurricane force blow, their sometimes uneasy relationship with flotillas, and how their second boat Hosanna, an 87 ft Dutch barge, ran aground in the Lefkas Canal in April 2003, where it remained stuck for 24 days. They also break a personal rule and reveal two of their favourite and most secluded anchorages.

In the third, to be published in September, they tell of memorable barbecues in Abeliki Bay on Meganisi, pot luck suppers with other Ionian live-aboarders while wintering in Lefkas, and why old age has finally forced them to return to the UK and settle down on a permanent mooring in Rochester, Kent. They are both now 83 years old.

The Coopers set sail from Lowestoft in 1976 with their one-eyed cat Nelson, heading initially for Gibralter. They continued on around the Mediterranean, and spent their second winter afloat, in 1977/8, mainly in Corfu. “Gouvia Marina was then only halffinished and free,” said Laurel.

She continued, “Most of Sell Up and Sail was written in Port Vathi, Meganisi. We wrote it together. Bill was very good on boats and the technicalities, and I concentrated on the human aspect and psychology. Then we each edited the other’s stuff, improved the style, and agreed the finished paragraphs. The title was a joint effort which just cropped up in an editing conference with our original publishers, Stanford Maritime “When we were writing in Port Vathi, we were moored up off the beach, within ten metres of the cafe come taverna Akra Yialos, run by our dear friend Bissarion. It was just a seashore then, with trees, not the concrete quay it is now. Bissarion would go fishing early in

small change. You couldn’t get lettuces, mushrooms, or mayonnaise, and no fresh milk, but tzicken and tzips and a bottle of wine for two cost less than fifty drachma, about a pound in those days.

“I fear there are now too many foreigners for the old xenofilia to hold sway, especially after the hippies took such shocking advantage of it.

Brussels regulations have changed the kitchens beyond recognition, but mercifully not ruined the food, though we find it has become more Europeanised. It’s more difficult to find kokkoretsi, for example, or a nice row of goats’ heads on the spit!”

Pictures supplied by and used with kind permission of Bill and Laurel Cooper and Adlard Coles Nautical.

Sell Up and Sail (ISBN 9780713674033) is available, priced £19.99, from Adlard Coles Nautical at www.adlardcoles.com , from all good bookshops, and from Amazon.

Their other books are, Watersteps through France; Watersteps around Europe; Sail into Bill and Laurel’s first cruise the Sunset; A Spell in Wild France; Back Door to Byzantium; Sell Up and Cruise the Inland Waters. Those which are out of print may be available second hand via Amazon. they were both ex merchant seaman, as nearly all Meganisi men were in those days.”

The link to the Adlard Coles Nautical books Bill said, “We remember several Easters in home page is: different parts of Greece, but at least three were in the Ionian. We remember Bissarion making http://www.acblack.com/nautical/Sell-Up--Sail/ Bill-Cooper-Laurel-Cooper/books/ kokkoretsi - lamb or goat offal on a skewer, details/9780713674033 wound around with the intestines - for Easter morning. Everyone was very hospitable, we got The Adlard Coles Nautical 2012 brochure, red eggs, kokkoretsi, and huge plates of lamb. carrying details of their many maritime books “Of course, all this is after that magical and how to order them, is available from moment on Easter Eve when all is dark, then www.adlardcoles.com the candle is lit, and the light passes from hand to hand, CHRISTOS ANESTI! And everyone Martin Stote , a retired Daily Express spills out of the church into the road, street journalist, owns with his wife a share in a lights and house lights go on, and we all try to syndicate yacht in the Ionian. Although he can get the candle home, still lit, to make the smoky claim with all honesty to have sailed since he cross beside the door.” was a boy, that autobiographical snippet Laurel added, “We loved the Ionian from the doesn’t convey how much of his life has moment we first arrived in Argostoli in south actually been spent on dry land. He first read western Cephalonia in July 1977. Bill had been Sell Up and Sail about 20 years ago and has there in 1953 as Navigating Officer of HMS owned two editions of the book. Writing these Childers, a destroyer helping with the features was really just an excuse to talk to two earthquake in Ithaca, but he never got ashore. of his sailing heroes. Martin is The Ionian’s “The islands enjoy sheltered waters, barring Editor. the odd squalls, short distances between the islands, a lovely climate, hospitable and unpretentious people. There are countless other reasons why we love them. Islands are best because the people have a self-sufficient attitude of mind, there is always someone who can do what you want or get what you need.

“Also in 1977 we attended the second Folk Festival in Lefkas, which was hilariously anarchic. The stage in the Platia was like a boxing ring, about two metres high with seats Bissarion making kokkoretsi for all round it. When the Highlanders danced they Easter breakfast 1985 revealed all under their kilts, and the cheering audience could be heard as far as Meganisi.

“We remember visiting Petriti on the east the morning, and seeing one or the other of us coast of Corfu while it was still just a short pounding away on an old portable typewriter quay, and eating at a taverna on the beach with would stomp up our gangway with a plate of our feet in the sea under the table. The cabaret octopus, saying ‘You working so hard.’

“In the photograph you can see that Fare Well was a randy cockerel chasing several hens amongst the diners. Later the 18/30 Club ruined is dressed overall because it’s St Bissarion’s it for a while, but hey, everything passes.” day. We were privileged to be his friend as he Bill said, “When we came to the Ionian in didn’t like tourists. He sold only coffee and 1977 almost no shops had glass windows, wine, and if he was pestered for whisky and traffic lights were unknown, tavernas and most coca cola and other unobtainables he would ensure that if they DID sit on his rickety chairs streets had earth floors with chickens browsing Coopers with Hosanna, around your feet, and interesting kitchens. they got a glass with a fly in it. Sadly, he died Lefkas Marina, Spring 2005 many years ago. He wasn’t gregarious, like our Telephone calls abroad were made in Giorgio’s other friend Stefan of The Rose Garden, though garden at Kondokali Bay in Corfu with a kilo of July 2012 www.theionian.com The Ionian 9

TO ÂŁ12,950

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Review

Nibbles in Nidri Plato Chipz

W

bilious groans with the world via a speaker system worthy of Pink Floyd. ell, here we are once again, and I can As a counterpoint to these hymns, an obvious non-believer joins in from a nearby house, tell from the amount of fan mail that Barbara, our brilliant managing editor, has received for banging out his own message on a fifty gallon drum with a Greek spanner. They are then me that I have been sadly missed - by passing accompanied by the strummer section from cars, mostly. Anyway, I hope you all had a around the bay; a lone chain good winter. Mine was rather saw joins the cacophony, busy as Old Wheezy needed a punctuated by the odd blast good service, but now with her from a shotgun. (We don’t bottom scraped and anti-fouled own a gun but appreciate and clutching Rosemary the sentiment).

Connolly’s Hip & Thigh diet to This avant garde dawn her bosom, we’re all set for chorus challenges the another gastronomic Ionian untrained ear, brings tears extravaganza, or, as we say, a to one’s eyes and an selection of Greek salads. overwhelming urge to fire The enduring memory of up the RIB and head for being at anchor in Vliho bay Nidri in search of breakfast. will always be Sunday J D’s Bistro is a place to visit at any time, mornings, just after the sun has cast its glorious especially if you want a VERY good English cloak across the bay, as fish stretch and yawn and old men get out of bed for the third time. It breakfast, in which case ask for a "full house" if you feel a bit peckish. Jackie and Chris is then the Greek priest shares his various

always make you feel welcome and have a good range of food, from tikka masala to steak and ale pie, plus various Greek dishes and a Sunday roast.

There is a children’s menu and a table d’hote menu. Guinness and Strongbow are among the drinks available. There is also a good range of puddings. Many places use the term, “ home made,” but here it really is, using good local produce. Tuesday night at 9pm is quiz night, not to be missed.

J D’s is in the top two or three of Nidri's restaurants on my good food, good service and good value chart. If you choose to sit outside you will enjoy the wonderful spectacle that is truly Greek—namely, how much and how diverse a range of people and objects can be carried on a moped. Remember the game Double or Drop on the TV show Crackerjack?

My favourite so far is a man with twenty feet of drainpipe under one arm, a telephone, and a cigarette, clutching a small child eating ice cream. For further entertainment you can watch holiday makers occasionally thump the cash point opposite. Which reminds me, I must wash and iron those old drachmas.

Bon Appetit.

JD’s Bistro owned by Jaki Daniel, is located in Nidri, Lefkada Island on the main street opposite the Emporiki ATM. Tel: 697 030 8892. e-mail: jakid23@gmail.com www. jdsbistro.co.uk

July 2012 www.theionian.com The Ionian 11

the fish no longer. I had given it a burial at sea. I tried ineffectively to wipe the smell of dead fish from my mouth. It clung on.

I reconnected the inlet pipe to the toilet. It worked for a few pumps then jammed. I disconnected the pipe again. The fish was back, sucked up by the pump and staring at me accusingly. I had blown it out of sight but not out of the tube. I blew down the tube again and this time I continued to blow for quite a while after I heard bubbles coming out of the outlet. My ears popped with the effort.

I peered down the tube recoiling slightly from the overpowering whiff of decomposing fish. I optimistically reconnected pipe to pump. No joy. The pump still jammed up. I Robin Lamb started a further cycle of decoupling the pipe, blowing down it, then reconnecting it and pumping it.

Eventually the fish started to fall to bits and the pump was able to draw it near enough to the end of the tube for me to extract it with a long thin screwdriver. By now I felt that I had spent half an hour giving the kiss of life to a deceased haddock. I showered, and brushed my teeth. The smell seemed to be hanging on.

I rewashed my face, re-brushed my teeth, gargled with TCP, drank some of it, took the jammed up the mechanism. I took it to bits. I last cans of beer out of the fridge, drank them in studied the rubber flaps, metal discs, plastic virtually one swallow, and laid down in a passageways, and levers and tried to work out he heads (yacht toilet in boat speak) how the smelly contrivance worked. I could see darkened cabin to recover.

Five minutes later Helen clambered on board. no reason why it shouldn’t work. I fiddled with seized up on the last day of our son David’s “What are you doing in there on a nice day like stay with us. We blamed his partner this?” she asked me.

Debbie for the problem – it seemed There is nothing better than “I’m recovering from the mental and physical the charitable thing to do. Helen took stress of sorting out the heads,” I replied. them to Preveza to catch their plane sailing in paradise… but as Robin “Don’t be so wet. I’ve got something nice for home while, with Sundowner cleared Lamb found out on Sundowner, dinner. Guess what.” of people, I took the opportunity to “Oh I don’t feel that hungry.” check out the problem. there is a dark side to this “Don’t be silly. You will when you see it.

The pump would not pump water There was a big fishing boat in at Lefkas…” into the toilet. It appeared to be fantasy...

“Oh no….” I groaned. jammed solid as if something had “Yes there was. He had some beautiful fish so that’s what we’ve got for dinner.” it, cleaned it, put it carefully back together again. It still didn’t work but I was getting a bit of action on the flush cycle and, with the dribble of water, black flecks came into the bowl. Among the other disgusting odours was the distinct smell of dead fish.

I undid the flexible seawater inlet pipe that connects the seacock to the pump. I peered down it and there staring up at me was a fish. It had been pumped up the seawater inlet and was now jammed fast in the tube. It had been there for quite some time and, judging by the smell, it was very dead. Further, the frantic pumping had subjected it to a near vacuum giving it a curious bug-eyed appearance. There was nothing else for it. I gingerly put the pipe to my lips and blew until I heard air bubbles coming out of the far end. I peered down the pipe and could see

Handyman in paradise

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12 The Ionian www.theionian.com July 2012

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