30 FEATURE
7 OCTOBER 2021
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From the front line…
Take care everyone, for none of us know what tomorrow will bring!
It is with immense sadness that I report to my readers that once again as a family we are in a state of flux, for on erev Rosh Hashana my dear mother-in-law, Lily Curzon (93), was niftar. Lily had a jolly personality, and was quite distinctive at her height of 4' 11. Whatever she may have lacked in stature, she more than made up Lily and for with her convivial personGraham ality and hearty laugh. Her Curzon early life was not easy, for her father Max Matties, of Russian on the role of chauffeur. extraction, had died before she was born. Lily trained as a secretary and used her Her mother married secondly - Solomon skills for the benefit of the community; Levy, a widower, whereupon she and her Wizo, Barnet Shul Ladies Guild, she was daughter took his surname. Unsurprisingly, given her father's untimely demise, Lily also the booking secretary for a kosher was an only child, and when her stepfather counselling provider, and she additionally and mother died from cardiac issues a few created Sweet Charity with several friends years later, she was still only a teenager - an organisation which raised funds for and was then brought up in the care of her projects in Israel. She kept herself busy maternal grandmother in the East end of and active, going each week to swimming and keep fit. Graham predeceased London. All of this we only found out after her back in 2017, after which point she her passing as, for whatever reason, she continued to live at home, with family and would not be drawn on the subject. In the friends close at hand. final few years she had advancing dementia, which hampered any ability to share Covid and lockdown presented their details with family, even if she had wanted own hurdles; she had a fall in 2020 which to. As a young lady, she travelled across landed her in hospital with a fractured hip, Europe in the 1940s and 50s, with groups and it was a long, long road to recovery, of friends, visiting Switzerland, with intensive physio, thoughtfully coordinated by her daughter-in-law, Nicky. France and Spain. Back in London she Irrespective of all these difficulties, was introduced to Graham Curzon {born grandma Lily was soon back to her old self. Gert Katzenstein}, from Eschwege Germany, who had arrived in London in 1939 She then contracted Covid which, amazingly, she recovered from quite quickly, under the aegis of the Kindertransport; no small feat given she hadn't yet been they got along well and were married in called for her vaccinations. In March this 1954. They began their married life in Cricklewood, where they had their first son year she had another fall, but this time it was a head wound and the other hip, - Julian {my husband}, and after moving and so it was fortuitous that her eldest to the relative outpost of New Barnet, with granddaughter Yehudit was temporarily its brand new Jewish community, they staying with her, as she was able to mop had another son Adrian, who completed up, administer first-aid and keep her calm the family. Thus began a 'motorbike love story' for the Curzon men at least. Lily had until the ambulance showed up several hours later. By this point Lily was becomapparently travelled pillion on a bike previously with Graham, and on one occasion ing too frail to cope with life at home, and after surgery and hospital care she moved the bike wheels got stuck in a tram track, into a care home, where she was extremely causing the motorbike to stop violently, and Lily to have an unexpected and some- well looked after. what undignified dismount. No serious Thanks to my occasional - if flawed harm resulted although Graham got a attempts at family balancing (don't even serious rollicking. Both their boys had ask), Lily was blessed to have many grandmotorbikes at various points, and grandpa children, ranging from age 7 (Juliette) to age 24 (Joshua). She loved them all equally could be found tinkering with them, or - as do I - and would relish the chance to under the bonnet of the various cars they hold them as babies, later sitting them on graduated onto. It was truly a hands-on her lap and reading them a story. They sat education. Although Lily learned to drive, transfixed, and we would all watch in silent she was not happy behind the wheel of a admiration at her patience. car, instead happily leaving others to take
We thought ourselves quite clever by keeping the impending arrival of our twins in 2010 a state 'secret,' from the grandparents, relatives and our work colleagues. When I was then in recovery from an emergency c-section, Julian rang his parents to break the news, anticipating a sharp intake of breath from them, and a big cheer in the background. The response was quite different: his father picked the phone up, and remarked crossly, "why did you not tell us Jacqueline was having twins?" To which my perplexed husband could only rustle up a confused reply. He had emailed his office before the start of the working day, and one of his colleagues - whose parents happened to be best friends with my in-laws - had already told HIS parents, who of course had rung the twins' grandparents to congratulate them. Aarrgghh! The Jewish Grapevine is far reaching. It mattered not that it was not even 8 o'clock in the morning. Our moment of gleeful surprise was lost. It was a perfect example of 'Man Plans & G-d Laughs.' Despite her advancing years Lily would always look smart, in neat dark shoes, and either a twinset or a skirt and cardigan. She would combine this impeccable tidy appearance with a distinctive wavy hairdo and it was one of the very few complaints she had near the end of her life, that she couldn't get her hair done. She truly hated to look untidy. The Grandparents had nachas by the bucket, spending time with the children, going on outings, baking gingerbread men and women, and doing puzzles. Lily came to both my cancer fundraisers, where she dressed up for the evening, enjoying the music and singing along with everyone. She would always greet us at the door of her home with a cheery, "...'ello, 'ello everything awright?" in her broad Cockney accent. In her spare time she would read thrillers and novels, which she would frequently then recommend to us, but she was additionally an avid reader of not only the Telegraph, but also this column in the JW, where she occasionally spotted her name in dispatches, at which point she would guffaw with laughter when she spotted it. She kept reading until the last few weeks of her life. For such a little lady she showed both inner strength and fierce determination. There was nothing she couldn't put her mind to, be it cooking, baking or fixing. When food was scarce in the early years,
she learned to improvise with offcuts and bones from the butcher or fishmonger, whereupon she would make meatballs, fishcakes and salmon cutlets, all of which were simply outstanding!!! When times were less tough, she would get Julian to drive to Billingsgate Fish Market for a 5am kick-off, and peruse the aisles of fabulous offerings. Having grown up between the world wars, she was pragmatic, down-toearth and wasted nothing. One story which has survived for decades is that when they got engaged, Graham - ever the practical and hands-on individual - made her a special gift. Now you ladies are wondering, I can tell, what he made? 1.Cake? 2.Breadboard? 3.Apron? 4.A diamond ring? I think very few of you will guess correctly. What would a young kallah most like to receive as a useful gift for the new home? Give up? Answers at the bottom of the page. Lily and Graham generally spent seder with our family, and on occasion she moved in with us for Pesach, where she would sit at the kitchen table, reminding me how to best make her macaroons and coconut pyramids. The result wasn't perfect but we had such fun trying! She would shake her head in amazement at the noise and total balagan of a houseful of children, and a somewhat harassed mum. Lily commented, 'I'm glad I only had two.' When I asked if she hadn't wanted to try again for a girl, she laughed and said, "it might have been another boy." Enough said. The following summer, just before my awful diagnosis, she was also game enough to come on holiday with us to Buxton, where she enjoyed pottering around, playing with the kids, walking round the Pavilion Gardens and even climbing Solomon's Temple [a walk/ climb that I - almost 40 years her junior - was reluctant to undertake]. In true Lily style, she never complained, was undemanding and I don't think I ever heard her shout. I have included a photo of Lily and Graham, taken in their younger years. For any who might still remember them, I think you'd agree that neither of them had changed one bit in their 63 years of marriage. Lily's passing signals the end of an era. She was an Aishes Chayil who was a positive example to everyone she met, and she set the bar high. Thanks to those who came to offer condolences during the shiva. Lily, we will miss you enormously. G-d bless. Love Jacqueline x
https://www.gofundme.com/f/jacqueline039s-front-line-cancer-battle-fund THEJEWISHWEEKLY.COM
1.Wrong 2.Wrong, 3.Wrong 4. Are you having a laugh? Correct Answer: a kashering board.
BY JACQUELINE CURZON
