The Courier - Edition 227 by TKO UK

Edition 227

www.thecourier.es

SAFE… ALEX TRELINSKI

he Guardia Civil are trying to find a heartless individual in the Cartagena area who abandoned three puppies by chucking them into a

pond of tar. The Guardia’s wildlife branch, Seprona, is leading the hunt, with the local El Portalico dog refugee rescuing and cleaning the dogs up, though sadly one of them didn’t survive. The pond of tar at

>> BEFORE

Friday 26th June 2015

LOCAL ANIMALS HAVE A MAINLY HAPPY ENDING

Albujon, halflway between Cartagena and Torre Pacheco, was under a foot deep, but it was enough to have the puppies trapped and covered as the tar solidified. A neighbour heard the barking and called for help. The puppies are a cross breed between a podenco and galgo and are ideal for hunting, and so the Guardia Civil are concentrating their investigation on hunters, hoping the help of the outraged public who help them track down the individual involved. He would face a charge of animal cruelty which carries an eighteen month prison sentence, as well as substantial fines.

pony that was stolen from a local show in the Vega Baja some three months ago has been reunited with its owner, after the animal was spotted wandering on a road in the Orihuela area. The local police were told about the pony being on the CV870 by the hamlet of Virgen del Camino a few kilometres south of La Murada from where it was taken back in March. The police officers took it to for safe keeping to the Asoka animal charity, and they then managed to track down the pony’s

was in good condition with the police now trying to

The Courier website is updated around the clock, with all the latest local and national news. Visit thecourier.es, download our apps and make sure your radio is tuned in and locked to 90.8 or 91.9fm to get all of the latest news as it happens.

COMING NEXT WEEK Make sure you don’t miss The Courier next week for the 1st Property+ pullout.

>> AFTER

...AND SOUND! relieved owner on the Costa del Sol. The animal

ONLINE NOW at thecourier.es

work out where it was kept and by whom.

>> HEALTHY PONY

The Courier TV Pullout 26th June - 2nd July

Starts page 19

Friday 26th June 2015

TELEPHONE

966 921 003 E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja Phone: 966 921 003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1600 EDITOR Alex Trelinski PRODUCTION EDITOR James Bone DESIGN ASSOCIATE Nicola Jane Cross ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier Tel. 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean Orihuela Costa Area Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265 Writers Mark Nolan Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies James Bone Peter Singh ADVERTISING DEADLINE Friday for the following Friday’s Edition.

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 188 - 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or nonappearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

A Moroccan man who lived in San Pedro del Pinatar and wanted to join the Islamic State terror group, has appeared before the National Court in Madrid, and faces two years in jail for promoting terrorism. Nabil Benkaddour was arrested in San Pedro by the Guardia Civil last November (pictured) and was accused of accessing a variety of websites that specialised in terrorism and gave tips on how to make attacks. Government spokesmen said that he went onto various social networks boasting about terrorist contacts and that he offered his services to IS

TERROR TRIAL

in Syria and tried to get over there to join their ranks back in January 2014, but could not fly via Turkey on the ticket that he bought because it was only for one way. Meanwhile, Spain’s Interior Ministry announced on Monday that a Torrevieja-based Moroccan had been arrested in Poland, after being in Syria fighting for Islamic State. The Guardia Civil had got the High Court in Madrid to issue an international arrest warrant for the man, with the initials AAEK. The warrant was issued back in January, with the Moroccan arrested at Warsaw airport having flown in from Serbia.

WHO’S HAPPIER?

The expressions perhaps show it all as the Murcia regional government stays in PP control, but only just, as the party has done a deal with the centrist Ciudadamos to keep power. As expected, Pedro Antonio Sanchez (smiling on the left) will be the new PP president having signed a deal with Miguel Sanchez of the new grouping which promises “a new style of politics” for the region. The exact date of investiture was still to be announced as The Courier went to print. Meanwhile, PSOE leader Ximo Puig is scheduled to

take over as Valencian President as of this Sunday, after his deal to form a gov-

ernment with the Compromis party is ratified tomorrow (Saturday).

HORRID DISCOVERY An Elda man’s body has been found by local police in his house (pictured), having been eaten by his dogs. He was said to be in his eighties and is the fourth such report in recent months in the inland area of Alicante Province. After a number of similar incidents in Aspe, Hondón de las Nieves, and Pinoso.

News

MULTI TASKING

Orihuela’s new Partido Popular mayor, Emilio Bascañuna, is going to be a busy man as he’s announced that he’s personally going to take on the roles of running urban and rural planning in

the municipality as well as looking after security matters. His minority administration sees Sofia Alvarez becomes the councillor of the coast with responsibility as well for international residents.

SAFETY STANCE

Gran Alacant’s sports centre has been temporarily shut down by Santa Pola’s new mayor, Yolanda Seva, over safety concerns. Emergency evacuation procedures and exits were

found not to be up to scratch by the new administration, with the construction needed of a second emergency staircase exit for a facility that was opened back in 2011.

News

Friday 26th June 2015

SKY HIGH

The skies above Los Alcazares will be a sight to behold this weekend with the centenary celebrations of the founding of Spain’s first ever hydroplane airbase back in 1915. Three Spanish equivalents of the RAF’s Red

Arrows will be performing special displays during the Fiesta del Cielo (Sky Festival) this weekend. There’ll be a sunset display on the Saturday evening starting at 7.00pm, followed by the main attraction flying

across the Los Alcazares beaches starting on the Sunday morning from 11.00am and running through till 2.30pm. Temporary car parks will be in operation across what will be a very busy area.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

Over a million passengers have enjoyed tranquillity on Spain’s high speed AVE rail services since ”silent coaches” were introduced last year. Over one point one million passengers have taken advantage of the facilities with talking and mobile phones banned, plus the bonus of no tannoy announcements; no children under 14; no pets; and dimmed lighting if you fancy a snooze. Ticket prices are the same as for the other carriages.

ZONE CONTINUES Guardamar’s new PSOE-led council say they’re powerless to stop the controversial blue zone summer car parking charges introduced two

years ago. Traffic and Safety councillor, Ana Martínez, says that cancelling the 10 year contract with the Ordenanza Reguladora del

Aparcamiento (ORA) for the parking meters would be very expensive at a time when the council’s finances are not in a good state.

LYNX PLEA

The world's most endangered feline species, the Iberian lynx, is making a comeback in Spain after being pushed to the brink of extinction, but Spanish motorists are hindering efforts to reintroduce the spotted cat into the wild. Last year, a record 22 lynxes died after being hit by cars, up from just two in 2008. Cars are "the greatest threat for the future of the lynx", according to the WWF, the World Wide Fund for Nature. "It's disgraceful because it's a problem that could easily be fixed," said Ramon Perez de Ayala, species program director at the WWF in Spain. He estimates it would cost around six million euro to make roads safer for lynxes by clearing roadsides of brush, putting up barriers and setting up passages that allow the felines to safely cross roads. "With the excuse of the economic crisis, we have not even carried out the most basic road maintenance works," added Perez de Ayala. The public works ministry said it "cooperates in the fight" against road accidents

involving lynxes and has carried out needed road works. The rise in lynx road deaths comes as efforts to boost lynx numbers through breeding programmes are starting to pay off. Slightly larger than a red fox and distinguished by its black ear tufts, the lynx has seen its population ravaged by farming, poaching and a decline in wild rabbits, its main prey, due to disease. Lynx numbers dropped from 100,000 at the beginning of the twentieth century to less than 100 in 2002, leading the International Union for Conservation of Nature to list the animal as "critically endangered". The number of lynx living in the wild has more than tripled since 2002 to more than 300, according to the WWF. Most Iberian lynx are in the Donana national park and Sierra Morena mountains in Andalucia, but the programme has reintroduced captive-bred animals to the regions of Castilla-La Mancha in central Spain, Extremadura in the southwest as well as locally in Murcia, as well as Portugal.

Child Rape Charge An Elche man who raped his two-year-old daughter and infected her with the human papilloma virus (HPV) is facing nine years in jail. The accused had the toddler at his home during one of his usual access visits following his separation from the girl's mother. He was a carrier of HPV, the virus which in a small number of cases can lead to cervical cancer after some years, and can cause pre-cancerous cells in the cervix which are normally removed through an outpatient laser procedure. Given that HPV is sexually-transmitted, its presence in a girl of two was clear evidence for the authorities of child abuse. As a result of her father infecting her, the toddler had to undergo a surgical procedure to remove the virus.

News

Friday 26th June 2015

CANCER ZAPPER

Elche's General Hospital has a unique laser treatment for prostate cancer which makes it the only facility in Alicante Province to offer a new high tech option for patients. The Green Laser XPS is used to destroy infected tissue with surgeons saying that

larger glands that could only be previously treated by open surgery can now be dealt with. Another benefit for sufferers is that their stay in hospital is reduced with some treatments also likely to be offered on an out-patient basis.

SWITCHED OFF

Two men have been arrested in Cox for dealing in arms and drugs. The National Police have been monitoring them since the start of the year after hearing that a number of homes in the Cox area were being used to illegally store guns,

which were bought through the growth and sale of marijuana. Sophisticated marijuana plant growing operations were uncovered by the authorities which included ripping off the electricity companies to the tune of 50 thousand euro.

GUARDIA STRANDED

Two Guardia Civil officers were left kicking their heels last week when their car broke down on the AP7 between Torrevieja and Crevillente, and then to make matters worse, the vehicle that came to pick them up also ended up suffering mechanical problems. The Guardia’s union, the ANC, has slammed the state of the fleet in Alicante

Province, which in last week’s incident meant that the officers were left standing waiting to be picked up on the hard shoulder, with materials like rifles lying on the ground. A few weeks ago, a Guardia car in Pilar de la Horadada had to be fumigated after being full of midges, something the ANC union said was not a unique case in the region.

BOARD BATTLE

Environmentalists say that two illegal advertising billboards have appeared in the San Fulgencio area and have launched a complaint with the Seprona branch of the Guardia Civil, who deal with environmental and wildlife issues. The Friends of the Southern Alicante Wetlands (La Asociación de

Amigos de los Humedales del Sur de Alicante) say that the billboards have appeared by the Hondo de Amorós, which is a protected area. The group say that they made representations to the Ministry of Environment at the start of last year but no further action had been taken.

KNOCKDOWN PLEA SIGN OF THE TIMES

Catral council has sent a letter to a Madrid Commercial Court judge about the abandoned Hotel Villa de Catral, whose management company has gone bankrupt with the decaying and dangerous state of the building causing grave local cause for

concern. It's been looted a number of times and set fire to, with the council wanting to knock the building down, and it’s written to the judge saying that the holding company have broken all their legal obligations by going out of business.

Spanish weather forecasters say that we are going to be in for a hotter than average summer. Meteorologists from

AEMET are predicting temperatures to be a degree higher than the summer norm, with no change to average rainfall levels.

UP A NOTCH

In a sign that Spain’s economy is improving, the country’s birth rate went up in 2014 for the first time in five years. The figures from the National Statistics Institute released on Monday say that 426,303 babies were born last year, 588 - or 0.1 percent - more than in 2013. The institute said 519,779 babies were

born in 2008, the highest number in 30 years. Since then, the number has fallen by 18 percent. The five-year decline roughly coincided with the economic crisis that lashed Spain after 2008. The economy emerged from a double-dip recession only at the end of 2013 and is growing again, although unemployment is 24 percent.

STILL AFLOAT… JUST!

The schooner, Pascual Flores, is back in Torrevieja, after some buoyancy repairs done to her in the southern port of Algeciras, but there’s still a big question mark over the vessel which is regarded as a beacon for the history of local ship building. The ship is in a far worse condition than was first thought, despite some six million

euro of municipality money being spent on repairing the replica which does contain some parts of the original structure. The situation is so precarious that the crew have to stop once an hour to spend 20 minutes pumping out the sea water, with the vessel also suffering from oil leaks and general structural deficiencies.

The Supreme Court has refused to overturn a guilty verdict and a 12 year jail sentence handed out to a 30 year old Alicante woman, Dayana GR, who threw her newly-born baby boy down a drain in the Virgen del Carmen area of the city back in June 2013. She was found guilty earlier this year of attempted murder, with the youngster surviving a two day ordeal before being

heard by a neighbour, with the boy being dubbed the “miracle baby”, as the story made international headlines. Her lawyers had argued the appeal on a variety of grounds including that her rights of presumption of innocence had been infringed and that there was no premeditation in what she did and therefore it could not have been classified as attempted murder.

ALL OVER

POOL FOOL

A Galician man's idea of fun has cost him dearly after he caused 21 thousand euro of damage after removing the plug of a giant inflatable swimming pool. Rodrigo M.D, was left further deflated in a court appearance last week after also being fined 360 euro for his moment of stupidity. The inflatable pool had been set up indoors at the Ponte Vella shopping centre in Ourense, Galicia, in

November 2012 to entertain local children, but the actions of the then 19-yearold Rodrigo turned a fun day out into a damp squib. He decided to pull out the security plug on the pool, causing 11 thousand litres of water to gush out, flooding several shops including Zara, Pepe Jeans and a local supermarket. He's already been ordered to pay the businesses compensation.

News

Friday 26th June 2015

FANNY’S CALL

Torrevieja's new Environment spokesperson, Fanny Serrano, says the city needs to recycle more as it's below the average for the Valencia region. PSOE group leader Serrano, who will become mayor in 2017 under a deal struck with the other coalition partners on the council, says that more recycling containers are needed and that she's asking the waste company franchise holder Acciona, to increase the number. Torrevieja residents only recycle around four and a

half kilos of waste per annum compared to the average across the Valencian region of eight kilos. Municipalities get money for recycled materials, whilst they have to pay for getting rid of residual waste, which means they have an incentive to be as green as possible. Serrano said that Torrevieja got just under 96 thousand euros last year for cans and plastic materials and 32 thousand euros for paper and carton recycling. The council has print-

ed 34 thousand leaflets to promote recycling and to make sure that people use the appropriate bins.

The Madrid government is refusing to yield ground on the possibility of the famous Lady of Elche statue returning on either a temporary or permanent basis to Elche from its current home of the National Archaeological Museum in the capital. A written reply to a PSOE deputy says that the work is a part of "common national heritage" and that a million visitors had seen it at the museum in the first year that the building had re-opened after extensive renovations. The Lady of Elche is a polychrome stone bust that was discovered by chance in 1897 at L'Alcúdia, an

archaeological site on a private estate just south of Elche. It's believed to be a piece of Iberian sculpture from the fourth century BC,

with the Elche municipality having campaigned for a long time for it to be permanently displayed in the area.

Based on increased airport numbers at AlicanteElche, there was little surprise that tourist visitors to the Costa Blanca and the

Valencia region are continuing to rise this year. The first five months of 2015 saw just over two million visitors coming to the Valencia

region, an increase of 2.7 percent on the same period last year. The figures for the Murcia region were even more impressive, with a five month rise of 6.7 percent on 2014, with a record high of 284 thousand foreign visitors, whilst May on its own showed an upsurge of 8.6 percent over the same month last year. Nationally, the numbers come to over 22 million visitors, just over 5 percent more on 2014’s returns, which themselves showed a significant improvement on 2013. UK visitors accounted for 22 percent of the total for the first five months of 2015, followed by France at 16.4 percent, and Germany at 16.1.

Half a million euro is be given out by the Alicante Provincial Council to improve road surfaces in a

number of muncipalities in the Vega Baja area. Grants are to be given to a dozen local municipalities including

Algorfa, Almoradí, Callosa de Segura, Catral, Daya Nueva, Rafal, and San Miguel de Salinas.

NOT FOR MOVING

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS

ROAD BOOST

Picture of the week coming soon... Send your pictures to us at pictureoftheweek@thecourier.es Marking them Picture of the week and we will print the best one on this page. Happy Snapping!

News

Friday 26th June 2015

WATCH THAT

Aircraft pilots over Spain had an extra potential hazard to watch out for last Saturday after 70 thousand racing pigeons were released from Valencia to head back home to Portugal. Warnings were issued for pilots to take care when fly-

ing below two thousand feet, in case the birds (flying in groups of up to 20) caught them by surprise. The pigeons had been shipped overland to Valencia, before homing and flapping their way back to their familiar Portuguese territory.

PARIS DETOUR

Last Monday morning’s Ryanair flight from Frankfurt in Germany to AlicanteElche had an emergency stop off at Paris Beauvale airport after a passenger

was taken seriously ill. Medical and ground staff took the patient to hospital, and flight FR3722 resumed its journey to the Costa Blanca.

WAGES WRANGLE

Two local independent municipality groups have criticised incumbent PSOE councils for keeping their wages and expenses topped up to the exclusion of others. In Los Montesinos, Maria Paredes, leader of the newly-formed independent party, AIMS, that came second in May’s elections, criticised mayor José Manuel Butron and two fellow councillors for claiming a total of almost 119 thousand euro per annum in wages and expenses, whilst the popula-

tion on the local padron had fallen along which led to a resulting reduction of two councillors. In Rojales, the independent grouping, PADER, criticised hikes for the ruling PSOE team, which will see a salary rise of some 16 percent for them, but nothing more for opposing councillors. PSOE mayor, Antonio Pérez, gets nothing as he’s retired, with PADER spokesman Desiderio Aráez, claiming that Pérez had changed his mind on a fair deal for all representatives.

SHOULDER FIRST

Torrevieja Hospital is leading the way in a new shoulder intervention operation that allows the patient to go home almost immediately. The shoulder prosthe-

sis allows bone repairs to mend naturally and quickly to the new material, with the technique being viewed as a Spanish and world leader.

COUGH UP

Princess Cristina and her husband have been forced to sell their their Barcelona mansion, reportedly worth in the region of seven million euro, to help them pay for bail in the fraud scandal legal case that has embarrassed the Spanish monarchy. Cristina, sister of King Felipe VI, and her husband the former Olympic handball player Inaki Urdangarin,

were forced to sell the house to pay a court bond for their liability in the case. Cristina, who was stripped of her Duchess of Palma title by her brother, has been ordered to stand trial for allegedly taking part in tax evasion by Urdangarin. Urdangarin himself is accused of embezzling six million euro in public funds.

Eight of ten Spanish youngsters say they would be prepared to give their toys to their family pet, and 94% say they 'feel happier' when they are in the company of their animals. A study by the Affinity Foundation on the emotional ties between children and pets in Spain has shown that six in ten youngsters say they believe spending time with animals

helps them to learn to love and respect people more, and nine in ten would be happy to give up part of their time to look after their cat or dog. Three-quarters say they would get up earlier than usual to feed their cat or walk their dog, and 80%, when asked if they would be willing to give up one of their toys for a pet to play with said they would do so.

LOVE YOUR PET

Dave Silver

Friday 26th June 2015

NO JUKE BOX REQUIRED

A stranger came into the pub the other evening which prompted me to go over to Dave the barman with a smug look plastered all over my face. 'See,' I said to mein host while pointing out the newcomer. 'You really don't need a juke box to attract more customers. 'The fellow who has just walked in is about the fourth stranger we've had in as many months. The punters are positively flocking in. You don't need songs in order to sell more of your diluted ale and watereddown wine?' Knowing how much Dave the barman yearned to install a music machine, my juke box comment managed to push his buttons and he reacted with the sound of silence. 'There's no need to sulk, Dave,' I said. 'Look, I'll go over to the stranger's table and buy him a drink.' The prospect of money dropping into his till prompted Dave the barman to break his silence. 'Don't try to use your charm on him, Dave,' implored mein host. 'I need the business and your smarminess might put him off.' 'I won't, Dave,' I promised. 'But is smarminess an actual dictionary word?' 'God knows,' sighed Dave the barman. 'But if it is, you

possess it in abundance, my insincere friend.' So I walked over to the latest stranger and plonked myself down, uninvited, on a chair. 'You're a fine, friendly-looking fellow and under normal circumstances I would purchase a pint for you or buy you a Burgundy,' I purred. 'Unfortunately, I find myself embroiled in one of my periodic struggles against penury and thus have no money on my person. I was therefore wondering if perhaps YOU might buy ME a glass of something.' The stranger shifted uncomfortably in his chair, shook his head and said: 'Not the old fallen-on-hardtimes story. Mum said you'd probably try that on.' 'Sorry?' I said. 'What has your mother got to do with our little chat?' 'My mother is your Mrs S. I am your first-born, Dad.' 'My first-born dad? What's a first-born dad?' I responded. And then I mentally inserted the comma and the true meaning dawned. 'Is it really you, my son? How come I didn't recognise you?' My son sighed. 'Because we never see each other these days. Whenever I'm at the house, you are in the pub. Our paths never cross.'

I glanced nervously around the bar. 'If I were you, Son, I'd vacate the premises pretty swiftly. The authorities frown on underage drinking.' My son sighed again. 'But I'm 44, Dad.' I counted on my fingers. 'So you are, lad. Blimey, the

had ambled over to eavesdrop, answered the question. ‘Because your father, although I deeply respect him as a human being and a long-standing acquaintance, can be a devious swine when it suits him’ 'He pretends all sorts of things just so he can stimu-

years certainly fly by.' My first-born stared at me for some time -- and I knew that I had been rumbled. 'You nearly had me fooled there, Dad. I really thought you'd taken leave of your senses. You knew damned well who I am all along. Why do you insist on playing these games?' Dave the barman, who

late conversation and find material for that decidedly unfunny Spanish newspaper column he writes every week. I sometimes wish the Madrid authorities would make him go and live there.' I shrugged my shoulders because I didn't care. (Actually, I shrugged only one shoulder because I did care a little.)

All Change at Carpet Heaven With the hot and humid weather we are experiencing at the moment, probably the last thing on your mind is cosy rugs and carpets. Well for us in the carpet and rug business it’s exactly what we are thinking about during the summer months. This is the time of year when all the designers bring out their new lines for the following season, and when us, the retailers, start looking at clearing old stock to make room for the new. Here at Carpet Heaven in Los Montesinos we are now

starting to bring in the new rug designs in this years new fashionable designs & colours Have you just bought, or are you trying to sell a house/apt with old or cracked marble or ceramic tiles? Why not cover your floor with high quality Burmatex carpet tiles, available in a vast range of styles, colours and textures, which will provide warmth, practicality and sound reduction. Another excellent alternative, especially for kitchens and bathrooms is

cushioned vinyl, which also comes in a wide range of wood, marble or stone effects and is non slip and durable. As always we have our extensive range of British “Stainfree For Life” carpets, available for fitting or as large area rugs, still at 2013 prices. Due to the exchange rate increases, these prices will inevitably have to rise in the new winter season, so get excellent value for money by ordering this summer – (you can order and pay a deposit and pay the

balance when fitted in the autumn) - you’ll be glad you did when those cold winter nights return! To make room on the shop floor for our new lines we will be holding an End Of Line Sale from Wed 1st July until Saturday 18th July. The 12th of July is when all our rugs will be discounted by 20%. Why wait for the inevitable autumn price increases, buy now at this years prices. We will even store for free until you are ready to collect. Please Note: We are open Mon – Sat 10am – 2pm.

'I'll tell you why I behave the way I do!' I cried. 'It's because I'm lonely. My best pal Eric the dentist got married and I haven't seen him for ages. I miss him tremendously. 'Believe me,' I continued, my lower lip trembling with emotion, 'I am the staunchest defender of everlasting love but I would have thought that even Erica the dentist's wife would have been sick of him by now. After all, they've been married for some months.' By this stage of my heartfelt monologue, I noticed that the pub regulars were gathered around me. I thought warmly that they had assembled to offer support to their tortured hostelry friend and colleague. But in cold reality I must have been boring them to bits because they now started to drift away, yawning deeply. My eyes brimmed with tears of nostalgia as I resumed talking. 'Eric the dentist and me were very close at school. Indeed, we were so inseparable that everyone called us The Three Musketeers.' 'Three?' queried both my son and Dave the barman. 'So who was the third?' 'There wasn't a third,' I replied. 'But who's ever heard of The Two Musketeers?'

There was a long silence and my fellow pubsters approached again to see if I'd finished whingeing. But I hadn't. 'Did I ever tell you that Eric the dentist and me were so close that everyone called us The Magnificent Seven?' 'Seven?' queried both my son and Dave the barman. 'So who were the other . . . oh, never mind.' I gazed moist-eyed but unseeing into the middledistance as I recalled some more stuff. 'Come to think of it, there was an old film called The Magnificent Two. It starred Morecambe and Wise and it wasn't that funny. But I went to see it at the cinema with Eric -- that's Eric the dentist not Eric Morecambe -- and I do miss him.' Before I could break down sobbing again, my son bought me a large whisky and water (mostly water) and Dave the barman let out a cry of triumph as he lovingly placed money in the till for the first time that evening. 'I'm just a lonely guy,' I mumbled into my glass of diluted scotch. My son's ears pricked up. 'That's the title of an old Little Richard record,' he said. 'Hey, have you guys ever thought of installing a juke box in the pub?'

News

Friday 26th June 2015

NO SURPRISE Spain’s socialist PSOE party has officially nominated their leader, Pedro Sanchez, to be their Prime Ministerial candidate in this autumn’s general election. 43 year old Sánchez, vowed in his acceptance speech to make the fight against joblessness and corruption the centrepiece of his government if he is elected. Sánchez took the reins of the party in July 2014 after the Socialists suffered their worst-ever election showing in a European Parliament vote, leading the previous leader Alfredo Perez Rubalcaba to step down. In a poll published on Sunday in the El Pais news-

paper, Sánchez came second amongst the most favoured politicians after the leader of Ciudadanos, 35year-old Albert Rivera. Polls suggest that the general election will be a four-way

race in which no party wins an outright majority, making post-vote alliance-building and deals essential, similar to what has happened in the wake of the recent local and regional votes.

VET QUIZ

The Guardia Civil have nabbed a Venezuelan vet wanted by America for allegedly trafficking heroin by implanting it in puppies (picture by the US Drug Enforcement Agency). 33-

year-old Andrés López Elorza was arrested last Saturday in the north-western town of Santa Comba where he had been hiding after the National Court authorized his extradition

last month. Colombian authorities discovered three kilograms of heroin implanted in three puppies during a 2005 raid on a clinic the vet ran in the country, with the Americans saying the vet was a member of drug-trafficking gang that used dogs to send liquid heroin from Colombia to the United States. López was arrested in Spain in 2013 but released while his extradition was being considered. He had been living here for eight years and was married with two children, with his employers speaking highly of him and he had no record of drug-trafficking in this country.

MORE CHOICE COMING

Online TV service Netflix is coming to Spain in October and will be available for tariffs starting from 7.99€ a month plus IVA. They have three different price brackets, the top one being 11.99€ plus IVA, will apply depending upon the number of devices in the subscriber's home which are connected and the definition chosen, which goes up to 4K.

An à la carte internetbased TV platform, Netflix allows subscribers to choose programmes from a huge catalogue and watch them as many times as they want. They are watched in real time and are compatible with any device that has an internet connection and a screen, including PCs, laptops, netbooks, Tablets, video game consoles, and Smart TVs.

CRUEL TRADITION? Fewer animals died than normal this year in the traditional ceremonies centered around the small Andalucian village of El Rocio which welcomed a million pilgrims to their sandy streets last weekend. They were all brought together to worship the 13th Century statue known as the Virgin of Rocio, with many walking for days in hot conditions, whilst some ride on horses or travel in carts pulled by animals, and that’s where the controversy arises over the welfare of the animals themselves. Since 2000, more than 230 horses, mules and oxen have perished during the week-long festivities, and many more have suffered non-fatal injuries, and seven years ago, the number of equine deaths peaked at 25, causing an outcry among animal welfare charities which continue to highlight the fatalities. Between 12,000 and 15,000 horses, mules and donkeys and their charges pick their way across the

region in large religious groups called "hermandades", pitching camp along the route. The extreme conditions make the horses the most vulnerable because they are of a more sensitive disposition and they are susceptible to colic, which can prove fatal. The Refugio del Burrito charity and the UK's Donkey Sanctuary sent a 30-strong team of vets and animal welfare specialists, who treated

almost 200 animals affected by injuries, exhaustion and dehydration. But despite the continuing problems, this year's pilgrimage saw a significant drop in fatalities with eight deaths being the lowest since 2002. That could in part be due to the cooler temperatures this year, but it could also be down to police and local authorities cooperating with animal welfare charities, which set up an onsite veterinary hospital for the first time.

IT’S ABOUT TIME

A northern Spanish town that was named after a Jewish massacre has been officially given a new title, after the communities 56 res-

idents voted on the matter. The controversially titled Castrillo Matajudíos, or ‘Jew Killer town’ finally rid itself of its dark past when it published

its new name in the official state bulletin on Monday. The town near Burgos will now be called Castrillo Mota de Judíos, 'hill of Jews’, with the official renaming coming a year after the community vote at the mayor’s suggestion. The local town hall then had to confirm that the name change "had historical justification" and that it was not too similar to the name of any other existing town. A massacre of Jewish people is thought to have taken place near the town in 1035 and another massacre happened in the village in 1109.

ON THE BUSES

Two youths went on a Sunday morning joy ride by swiping a Barcelona tourist bus, whilst the driver went for an urgent toilet break because he didn’t feel well. The empty bus was en route to pick up some passengers

before the driver had to answer a call of nature, with the two youths (believed to be tourists) nicking the vehicle for an impromptu journey. They took the bus on a journey around the city for about half a kilometre before

crashing into a parked car. By the time local police reached the scene, they had fled, with the vehicle being taken back to the depot, with authorities hoping to find clues to identify the hijackers.

Friday 26th June 2015

STALLION SAVED

A starving grey stallion has been seized by the San Pedro del Pinatar police and handed over to the Rojalesbased Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre. Authorities acted after complaints about the horse’s welfare by passers-by. Rescue Centre co-founder Sue Weeding said vet checks showed the stallion was malnourished but otherwise healthy. He will now be cared for in Rojales. “We’re delighted to see the police now acting on public complaints, which even just two years ago wouldn’t have happened,” Sue said.

“We are so encouraged by the changes that we’re seeing, there’s a huge movement forward in Spain for animal welfare and these rescues do have a knock on effect because people start to realise that they can’t get away with animal abuse.” Meanwhile as part of its fundraising efforts, the centre will soon open its ninth charity shop selling second hand clothes, furniture and bric-a-brac in Dolores. A manager and volunteers are needed to run the outlet, which is expected to open in about three weeks’ time. If you’re interested in helping, call Sue on 652 021 980.

TERRY TOPPER

The Vega Baja Garden Club is on a summer break until September, but not before club members enjoyed an informal lunch and a garden quiz at their June gathering. The marigold growing competition was judged by experienced RHS judge,

John Howes (pictured) and was won by Terry Sangwine. The group will meet again on Monday September 7th at Bar Trasgu, Calle Alicante 12, Formentera del Segura, and new members will be welcomed, more details from vegabajagardenclub@gmail. com

TEA TIME

The Mad Hatters came out for tea recently in the village of La Puebla close to Los Alcazares, and helped boost the coffers of Help Murcia Mar Menor to the tune of 200 euro. Andy and Stephanie Dexter (pictured right) hosted the event after spending

over a year renovating their home, with the afternoon blessed by perfect weather, and best hat awards going to Bill Saunders and Ann Hetherington. Volunteers for Help Murcia Mar Menor are always welcome get more details by calling 968 570 059 on weekday mornings.

HOLIDAY FUN

As the summer holidays kick in, local youngsters are being invited to have a treasure island adventure, along with fun and games, as well as chance to find that hidden treasure! It’s all part of the annual holiday club being staged at the International Christian Assembly’s church at Calle Urbano Arregui 23 in Torrevieja, between Tuesday June 30th and Friday July 3rd. Part of the building has been transformed into a treasure island, and the club will run between 11.00am

and 1.00pm every day under the leadership of Pastor Rafael Restrepo, his wife Mary, and their team of helpers. The children (aged between five and 13) will be able to play games, hear stories, take part in drama, and also can enjoy craft, playing games, winning prizes, taking part in drama and hearing stories. Admission is absolutely free, so the youngsters can just turn up and everybody is welcome. More details, call 966 799 273 or www.icatorrrevieja.org

Local News & Events

BILINGUAL GASP

The Gran Alacant Santa Pola Theatre Group (GASP) is into rehearsals for a very unique production in September, which will be presented in both English and Spanish! It’s a first for GASP and it’s going to be an evening of comedy sketches at Santa Pola’s Casa de

Cultura on Friday September 18th, so put a date in your diaries right now. Proceeds from the night will go to Cruz Rojo, and the group is always after new members (either on or backstage), so call Christine on 966 699 845 or e-mail christinelombardy@terra.com

The ladies put on their finest finery last week for a Royal Ascot lunch in aid of the Pink Ladies / AECC cancer charity at the Evolution Bar at the La Fuente Commercial

Centre. 455 euro was raised to help in the fight against cancer, whilst watching the races, enjoying the food, and contributing generously to the raffle.

PINK POWER

OUT OF THE BLUE

The ex-President of Samaritans in Spain had the surprise of her life as she was awarded the British Empire Medal in the recent Queen’s Birthday Honours. Chris Sumter recently stepped down from her role and returned to live in the West Country of England. She first joined the Samaritans seven years ago, becoming a Trustee and then CEO in 2011 and took over as President in November that year. She then boosted the profile of the organisation, and paid a crucial part in the setting up of a drop-in centre and charity shop at Punta Prima, just south of Torrevieja. Chris said that she was surprised with her award but added that it was also a recognition for everybody involved with Samaritans in Spain.

Friday 26th June 2015

Friday 26th June 2015 Check Out: www.thedogyouneed.com

When I visit dog owners, one of the main points I make is that a dog comes into our lives to teach us things. Some people will take it on board and their lives change dramatically in a very positive way but sadly others fail to take notice. So here is your chance and my wish is that you read carefully here as to what a dog has to teach you. Your dog will be so happy you did and I simply cannot stress this enough. Dogs are on this earth to teach us four things. They are as follows:Teaching One: Dogs have no ego. When I was younger, I though only footballers and movie stars had egos, but I was wrong. We all do. Ego is the thinking that I am right and you are wrong. It is the "Who do you think youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking at?" mentality. It is what causes wars throughout time and much suffering. When you drop the need to be right, you are allowing happiness into your life. Like I say to people now, "I would rather be happy than be right". Imagine if someone does something horrible to you in life. You have two choices. The first is to fight back, which will cause you misery. The second is to ignore it, which will give you balance and peace. Teaching Two: Dogs have instant forgiveness. I have

Peter Singh & Pets

Email: peter@thedogyouneed.com

THINGS THAT DOGS TEACH US

worked with dogs who have been physically abused and even sexually abused by human beings, but when I work with them, they show instant forgiveness and give me a chance, although I am a member of the same species that did the wrong to them. Instant forgiveness is an amazing thing and it takes away the bitter-

ness that can grow inside you for years and therefore ruin your life. I used to rarely forgive and it made me a very bitter person. I now forgive and bitterness is no longer part of me, only peace is. Teaching Three: Dogs live in the now. Not the past or the future, only the now. Many humans live in a nega-

tive state, which is either thinking about the past, or thinking about the future and sadly never living in the now. That is why, when a dog walks down the street, they notice the beauty of the floating butterfly, but the human rarely does, as they are wrapped up in thought and not the present moment. All you ever have in life is the

present moment, so learn from the dog and live it to the fullest. Teaching Four: Dogs follow calm. Many humans in the world follow chaos and anarchy. Look at the world at the moment and the mess it is in. A lot of this is caused by humans not following calm. Give a dog a choice to follow either a calm person or an

erratic person and they will follow the calm person a hundred times out of a hundred without fail. So nurture calm in your life and not chaos. So there it is: - the teachings of a dog. Now you have a choice to make. Turn the page and forget about what you have just read or make the most amazing change in your life and follow what our furry friends have to teach us. The choice is yours. I so sincerely hope you follow the latter, as I did. Then you will forever know the wisdom of a dog. www.thedogyouneed.com is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our charity registration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal, where the account details are below peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60-16-03 and the account number is 73754900. Anyone wanting to pay into the Spanish account, can do, where the details are: Cajamurcia bank. Account number 9007006467. IBAN - ES42 0487 0485 7290 0700 6467. BIC - GBMNESMMXXX. When donating via Paypal, can you please choose the option, personal payment or gift. Thank you sincerely.

PETS CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? BUDDY

KITTENS DAVE BABU Babu is a small eight to ten kilo long haired dog who is about 18months old. He loves to see everyone and is always a happy and loving little dog, full of fun. He is a very affectionate and great with other dogs and would be a wonderful addition to any family. For more on Babu please phone P.E.P.A. on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.com

Dave is a young pup he will not be very big when he is fully grown possibly 10-14 kilos. Besides Dave being lovely to look, at he is turning into a really nice very well behaved dog. He is currently in a foster home with other dogs and is very good with the four year old child that he lives with. For more on Dave, please call P.E.P.A. on 650 email or 746 304 p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Four beautiful kittens were abandoned in the street. One is white with cream ears; the others are grey with darker spots and ears. One is likely to be long-haired. They are litter tray ready free to a good home. They need attention but will be loving kittens given the attention they deserve. Tlf 671 337 675.

Buddy is a five month old small male crossbreed. He is currently still in the care of the people who found him, until a suitable space at the kennels becomes available but has been fully vaccinated and micro chipped in readiness for his forever home. Please call the kennels on 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

KITTENS These six week old kittens are in need of new homes. They are all in good health and very friendly. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

of a foster family and five of her siblings are already enjoying life in their new homes; only Bianca and her sister Sophie are still waiting for that opportunity. Please call the kennels on 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com for more information.

DUKE

Duke is a gorgeous housetrained dog and he has his BIANCA passport and microchip and is Bianca was found with six lit- fully vaccinated. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s now ready ter mates in a bin when they to go to his forever home. For were 10 days old. All the litter more on Duke, please call 600 have thrived due to the dedica- 845 420 or 865 776 348, or visit tion of a foster family and five of the website at www.k9club.es.

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish I hope you enjoyed last week´s revision exercises, now is the time to see how you got on. Here are the answers to the various tasks that I gave you, how did you get on? The first sentences had to be put in the present perfect, so I hope you all remembered the verb haber which is used as the auxiliary and the past participle of the verbs: Esta año ..he ido.. a la playa (ir), se lo …he regalado… a él (yo/regalar), ¿ya …has visto… a la maestra (tú/ ver), ella siempre …ha tenido..buenos amigos (tener), no …hemos almorzado.. aún (nosotros/almorzar), no … he estudiado… la lección (yo/estudiar), …hemos gastado…. mucho dinero (nosotros/gastar), Nunca … he dicho.. a nadie (yo/ decir), El hombre ..ha puesto.. gasolina en el coche (poner), por los últimos cinco años …he abierto…. la tienda todos los días (yo/ abrir), ¿cuántos años …has enseñado… el español? (tú / enseñar), ya …hemos escrito.. las cartas (nosotros/ escribir). Next you were asked to write the correct preposition: No me acordé …de.. la fecha de su cumpleaños, ¡que raro! Tardaron mucho …en.. llegar, El profesor era enojaba, estaba …de… muy mal humor, vamos … a.. esperar a Juan aquí, yo prefiero ir ..en.. un bus, el

Friday 26th June 2015

profesor está siempre … con… sus alumnos, tu sueldo depende ..de.. tu trabajo, el éxito consiste ..en.. trabajar, tú siempre te quejas ..de.. todo, ella no se fía ..de.. nadie, debes dejar ..de.. fumar, me gusta jugar al tenis .. con.. él, no me

…consigo… María is with me. María está ..conmigo…, does she study with you? (familiar) - ¿Estudia ella ..contigo..? You´re not with me – No estás …conmigo… , he´s with her – Él está con ..ella..,María is behind him

(masc. fam.) Juan no vive cerca de ..vosotros.., I work with you – trabajo ..contigo.., Everyone is sleeping except me – todos duermen salvo ..yo.., . He always takes the key with him. Él siempre lleva la llave

verbo de influencia. 3. Espero que Uds. (oyen, oigan) a los niños que cantan en el campo. – oigan es correcto porque esperar expresa emoción 4. Es probable que tú (ves, veas) un video de David Bisbal. – veas es correcto porque es

acuerdo ..de.. la fecha exacta, yo doy ..de.. comer al perro, ella va ..a.. un restaurante, la niña sale ..a.. jugar, la toalla está ..en.. la maleta, él sueña ..con.. un coche nuevo, ¿te acuerdas ..de.. mi? Cuento ..con.. mis amigos. Then you needed to write the correct pronoun. She lives with us. (feminine) – Ella vive con …nosotras.. Do you have something for me? ¿tienes algo para ..mí..?. She always takes an umbrella with her – ella siempre lleva un paraguas

– María está detrás de ..él.., She lives with you. (familiar) - Ella vive ..contigo…, She´s to the right of me – Ella está a la de derecha de ..mí.., Everyone has a pen except you. (familiar) – Cada uno tiene un bolígrafo salvo ..tú.., I have a gift for you (familiar) – tengo un regalo para ..tí.., Between you and me, this food is horrible. (familiar) – entre ..tú.. y yo, esta comida es horrible, Who lives with them? (masculine) - ¿Quién vive con ..ellos..? John doesn't live near you-all.

..consigo.., Everyone eats except you. (familiar) – todos comen menos ..tú.., the letter is from her – la carta es de ..ella. Finally I asked you to choose the correct form of the verb, either subjunctive or indicative. 1. Ojalá que (llueve, llueva) café en el campo. – llueva es correcto porque ojalá porque esperar expresa emoción. 2. Recomendamos que ella (va, vaya) a un concierto de Shakira – vaya es correcto porque recomendar es un

probable porque es una expresión impersonal. 5. Yo dudo que tú (practicas, practiques) la salsa tanto como estos profesionales. – practiques es correcto porque hay duda en la claúsula principal. 6. Yo sé que Haití (está, esté) al oeste de la República Dominicana. – está es correcto porque es algo cierto 7. Es probable que nosotros (nos divertimos, nos divirtamos) en Guardamar. – nos divirtamos es correcto porque hay una expresión impersonal

que expresa probabilidad. 8. Yo creo que te (gusta, guste) bailar la salsa y el merengue en la Republica dominicana – gusta es correcto porque creer indica certeza 9. Es cierto que (tengo, tenga) el CD nuevo de Melendi para ti – tengo es correcto porque cierto indica certeza, 10. ¡Haz tu cama tan pronto como (te levantas, te levantes) esta mañana! – te levantes es correcto porque es una acción anticipada, 11. Nos gusta comer palomitas cuando (vamos, vayamos ) al cine – vamos es correcto porque es una experiencia real o verdadera, 12. Mi compañero empieza a roncar tan pronto como (se duerme, se duerma) – se duerme es correcto porque es una acción habitual 13. Diviértete mientras que (puedes, puedas) porque hay que trabajar mañana – puedas es correcto porque mientras = as long as y no se sabe la duración, Mientras = as long as. No se sabe la duración, 14. Aunque (llueve, llueva) mañana nos marcharemos – llueva es correcto porque es el futuro y aunque significa 'even if.' How did you get on? I hope you managed to get most of them correct for whichever level you are. Now take a rest from reading, go out and practise your Spanish in the local bars and restaurants, have a great week.

Friday 26th June 2015

Tony Mayes - About Life

WELCOME HOME…..NOT! Why am I not surprised, as within hours of our returning to the UK for the summer we were treated as if we were living rough on the streets - homeless and without a penny to our names. Why? Because of the ridiculous antics of the credit rating companies. We have a Spanish home and a park lodge on a UK holiday site and don´t owe a penny to anyone - but that's not enough for these companies which traders now use to see whether potential customers are credit worthy. Sadly we don't fit into one of their neat little packaged boxes - either owning our own UK bricks and mortar home, or renting, or having lived for the past five years in a UK house with a postcode and paying council tax. And it meant I was unable to get a roaming device for my computer on a contract - the salesman wasn´t able to get past the ridiculous credit check to OK monthly payments of 28 pounds for three months. Despite having a UK bank account since I was 16, plus savings accounts, I was told my credit rating was rock bottom. Well, thanks a bunch Britain. Makes me wish I was a multi billionaire and could buy the b....y credit check company and put it out of business. After an hour of messing about on his computer, the salesperson managed to by-pass the credit check and provide me with a roamer. What a joke! Staying with Bonkers Britain, how about the recent riot at a Tesco branch in Northampton, as shoppers wrestled on the floor scrambling for offers 'like scavenging dogs.' Markeddown chicken and steaks prompted grown men and women to crowd in the aisles before pushing and shoving each other to get hold of the items - some of them on their hands and knees. Northampton's population has rocketed in recent years; household incomes and living standards have been squeezed following

the recession, and child poverty levels have increased too, with one in five Northampton kids now classified as living in poverty. But is there an excuse for people to behave like scavenging dogs in first-world UK? I think not. I find myself gravitating to cut price shelves at supermarkets to look for "bargains" where there are items near their sell-by dates. I don't need to do this, so have we become brainwashed by all the ads to seek out bargains and cut price this, that and the other, meaning our restraint and common sense have gone out of the window? I have umpteen store cards giving me money off, points, or other benefits as well as credit cards offering me perks. It's all part of this live for less obsession, which is only a short distance away from fighting in the aisles for cheap food. It's brainwashing. People in Britain are not really starving like millions are in the third world, and they should start living more sensible lives, which, for starters, means living within their means. Recent stories have a certain amount of déjà vu about

them! Take the appalling shooting of coloured worshippers by a white young man in a Bible study class in the United States, which was yet another example of Americans' utter stupidity. He did it because of racial hatred - something we have to live with because it goes back to our Stone Age past when one tribe fought another. You couldn´t trust the neighbouring tribe because you were competing for food and they were a threat. People gather in ethnic groups today without even thinking about it. There were pictures of a soccer team in weekend newspapers showing whites in one group and coloureds in another - not through race prejudice but because we tend to gather in groups we feel comfortable with. It's our tribal past at work and it will continue until we're all one colour and have the same religion so we're a good few generations away from this utopia. How right Obama is when he tells Americans of the folly and utter stupidity of his country's gun laws. Time after time we hear of multiple shootings - if it is not in schools and colleges, it is in

shopping malls and now within a religious group. There is no other civilised country on the planet where ordinary people own so many guns, says Obama, and he's right. And when guns fall into the wrong hands, whether among the mentally ill, or those filled with religious or race hate or have severe family issues, the death toll will be far higher than if that person can only gain possession of knives. Sadly Americans are driven by big bucks and there are mega bucks within the gun lobby. So, despite all the hypocritical nonsense coming out of the lips of Americans, little will change and we´ll hear of another mass killing before too long. The other case of déjà vu was the appalling news that a defenceless, three week old baby boy was mauled to death by a terrier dog in Sunderland. Why the hell stupid people have to have a dog in the same house as a baby beats me - it should be made illegal. Thousands of people are bitten by dogs every year in Britain, and sadly, every year there are deaths because people insist on having potentially

vicious carnivores in their homes. Here are the dreadful statistics: More than 200,000 people per year are estimated to be bitten by dogs in England alone, according to research for the British Medical Journal. Since 2005, 22 people have been killed by dogs in the UK, 12 of them children, according to the Office for National Statistics. Is any of this acceptable? No it isn´t. With these horrendous statistics, it´s about time people re-evaluated their relationship with dogs, because far too many people are being injured by them, and it's about time politicians had the courage to introduce Draconian legislation. For a starter, every dog should be licensed; people should be required by law to go to dog handling/obedience classes as part of holding a licence; every dog that attacks a human should be put down and the owner prosecuted and ordered not to own a dog for at least 10 years. That might then establish responsible dog ownership. Perhaps it's true to say that the British are as stupid over dog ownership as

Americans are over gun ownership. Both should change. We saw the 'great' British unwashed on the march again last weekend, complaining about benefit cuts; loss of union power; wanting all cash spent on homes and not Trident; complaining of non-existent cuts in "Our NHS"; calling for a living wage for mothers; a frackfree world and every other left-wing cause! Listen to them and you would think that the Tories were about to rob everyone of every single benefit, double the tax of working people and hand every penny to the rich. As chancellor George Osborne was at pains to point out, the UK has only one percent of the world's population but has seven percent of all welfare spending on the planet and that's ridiculous! Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that this level of 'feather bedding' is unsustainable. That same common sense says there is a limit to what working people and businesses can afford to pay in tax to fund the welfare state. Common sense also says you can't keep on borrowing to live beyond your means. There's a day or reckoning, just like Greece has met its Waterloo. When you can get a second generation immigrant living on benefits, depriving herself and her children of food so she can save enough to have a boob job abroad and then when it goes wrong, demand it's fixed on the NHS. It demonstrates benefit culture is totally out of control and needs to be fixed. Sadly, the benefits system allows people to live irresponsibly and that irresponsibility breeds on itself (as well as breeding another generation of scroungers). And once people have got used to living on welfare, they're going to fight tooth and nail to preserve their 'rights'. That's why the 'unwashed' were on the march in London and in other cities, and a plague of curses on them!

ISSUE 3 - 26TH JUNE 2015

Motoring+

Friday 26th June 2015

Removing Abandoned Vehicles You should always report an abandoned vehicle vehicle is showing signs of damage for example, or maybe missing main components and has been

the owner has 10 days in which to respond to the claim by confirming the status of the vehicle, or it will be

>> A official Policia Local notice

>> Abandoned vehicles are a all too common sight If the police have reason to owner to confirm identity, to believe that a car has before they can have the been abandoned on the vehicle removed. street, there is a procedure This procedure is different they can initiate to enforce to the case of a vehicle

which has been legally parked, this particular process is aimed at vehicles that are in a legal, convenient and safe place, but the

police believe that they may simply be abandoned. There are a number of reasons why an officer might think this, perhaps the

parked in the same place for some time. If there is sufficient evidence to suggest abandonment, the police will affix a sticker to the vehicle, advising the owner that there is reason to believe the vehicle has been abandoned. The sticker is dated and

removed to the municipal pound. Remember though, this procedure is for abandoned vehicles which are seemingly legal other than the suspicion of their status, if you park illegally, your vehicle may be removed immediately.

Motorhomes: Parking or Camping? Touring Spain by motorhome or campervan In Spain, the law is quite clear, motorhomes and campers are not allowed to “camp” on the street. But the question arises as to what defines “camping”, and what is simply a vehicle which is “parked”, albeit of a larger size, in the same way that any other car or van may occupy a space on the road. There is a distinct difference between “camping” and “parking”. If any of these actions are performed, the vehicle is considered to be “camping”. • Emitting noise, such as by using a generator. • Extending sun blinds and shades. • Vehicle stabilisers or “feet” deployed. • Emptying or disposing of fluids. • Furniture such as tables and chairs placed outside the vehicle. • Side or “swing” windows opened, protruding from the vehicle perimeter. The above activities can only be conducted in authorised places, such as campsites. There are activities that a

>> Is this motorhome parked legally? motorhome or campervan from the vehicle perimecan perform whilst stopped ter. which do not fall into the • Using wheel category of camping, in chocks on an incline. which the normal traffic • Turning the rules apply. wheels so as they are • O c c u p a n t s secured against the kerb. inside the vehicle, eating All of those activities are or sleeping. permitted, so long as the • Opening the sky- vehicle is correctly and light or rooftop window, legally parked. These activias this does not protrude ties also apply day or night.

>> Motorhome Feet

Motoring+

Friday 26th June 2015

Motoring+

Friday 26th June 2015

Picking up Unwanted Passengers What to do when Bugs and Insects can find there way into your car Distractions when driving are a major cause of traffic related incidents, from drowsiness to using your mobile, tuning your radio to talking to other vehicle occupants, many of those distractions can be dealt with easily, but others can be so far out of our control, they become an even bigger danger. What do we do when an insect enters our car, especially if we start to panic that the insect, such as a wasp, might actually attack us? If an insect enters your vehicle, first and foremost, the advice is do NOT panic. Even though there is a fear, and a risk, even wasps do not normally attack unprovoked, and so remaining calm may reassure our insect passenger that we are not posing any kind of threat. Outside of our vehicles, the most time wasps will sting is when they feel under attack, such as when we wave our arms around trying to deflect it. This action not only confuses the wasp, it too starts to feel threatened and panics, resulting in a defensive attack. Whilst maintaining our calm persona, and telling all other vehicle occupants to do the

same, we need to keep our eyes on the road and our driving, whilst politely asking our insect to leave. It will of course not be quite that simple. Firstly, we probably want to stop our car, so we need to identify a safe place to do so. An insect in the car is not actually considered an emergency, so the hard shoulder of the motorway is not the place to stop, if you´re on a fast road such as this, wait for the next service station, a the insect is not going anywhere soon. On any other road, the normal rules for stopping will apply, find a location that is both safe and convenient and does not cause problems for other road users. In case you´re wondering,

simply opening the windows when the vehicle is moving will usually not work, as the force of the wind will simply blow your insect back inside. Of course, if your vehicle is travelling at a slow speed, this is a more realistic option but remember you are driving a car, not an insect trainer. If you have stopped, remain calm still. Don´t suddenly panic and start waving your arms, open the windows and the insect might simply leave of its own accord. If not, the vehicle occupants can get out and maybe open the doors, if it is safe to do so. Remember, the insect is not actually trying to cadge a lift to another location, it will have entered your vehicle

>> Unwanted Cricket attached to car

>> A car covered in insects unintentionally, but don´t worry too much that it might be lost in the wilderness, it will find a new home. Once the insect has left, your journey can continue, but you might want to check for any others that may have entered before you set off. Oh, and by the way, the picture below is of an abandoned car where wasps have made their nest. This will not happen to you on the short trip you are making. Remember, stay calm.

>> Don’t panic, if this happens whilst driving

Friday 26th June toâ&#x20AC;&#x2C6;Thursday 2nd July 2015

Friday 26th June 2015

FRIDAY

TV Pullout

26th JUNE

00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Family Finders 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Continent 17:00 The Box 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC Local News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Would I Lie to You? 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Celebrity MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Local News; Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show Christening on Emmerdale

00:40 Perspectives 01:35 Jackpot247 00:20 Kate Humble: Living with 04:00 Tonight Nomads 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 01:20 Panorama 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 01:50 An Hour to Save Your Life 07:00 Good Morning Britain 02:50 24 Hours in the Past 09:30 Lorraine 03:50 This Is BBC Two 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 05:00 The Glasgow Girls' Stories 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 05:30 Ten Pieces 11:59 ITV Local Weather 06:20 Ten Pieces Extra 12:00 This Morning 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 13:30 Loose Women 08:00 Claimed and Shamed 14:30 ITV News and Weather 08:30 Family Finders 14:55 ITV Local Weather 09:15 Gardeners' World 14:55 ITV Local News 15:00 Jeremy Kyle's 09:45 Cowboys and Angels Emergency Room 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 12:00 BBC News 16:59 ITV Local Weather 12:30 BBC World News 17:00 Tipping Point 13:00 Daily Politics 18:00 The Chase 14:00 Tennis from Eastbourne 19:00 ITV Local News 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Gino's Italian Escape 20:30 Glastonbury 2015 21:30 Coronation Street 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 Doc Martin 22:00 Arthur Ashe: More Than a 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Champion Weather 23:30 ITV Local Weather 23:00 Glastonbury 2015 23:30 ITV Local News 23:30 Weather 23:40 Vicious 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Weather

00:00 Family Guy 00:25 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 Family Guy 01:30 Insane Fight Club 02:30 Festivals, Sex and Suspicious Parents

Soap Bubble In tonight´s Emmerdale, it’s Moses’ Christening day but Debbie’s distracted. The new vicar conducts the service in the church surrounded by the Dingles. As they leave the church Zak’s spotted Debbie is troubled and tries to reach out to her, telling her she can tell him, Debbie looks over towards the garage where she can see Ross. When the police arrive to talk to Debbie over Jai’s stolen car, Debbie secretly guesses it was Ross but is worried they want to search the garage. In Coronation Street, desperate to talk, Carla agrees to meet Nick at the Rovers Quiz Night. David notices the chemistry between Nick and Carla, so interrogates Nick, will he reveal how close they’ve become? Later, in hospital, Erica and Nick fear for the baby, will everything be ok or is her pain a sign there’s something wrong with their unborn child? Overcome with emotion Nick takes his anger out on Gail, pointing out that she’s never liked Erica. Gail is left hurt by Nick’s words and Michael approaches her to offer his sympathy. How will Eileen react to this? Meanwhile when Carla finds Nick alone in the Bistro, will she be there for him when he needs her the most? In Eastenders, following her attack, an injured Shabnam tries to make her way to the community centre - but she collapses in the park. Meanwhile, a nervous Dean meets his daughter for the first time, but will it all go to plan?

03:30 Russell Howard's Good News 04:00 Don't Tell the Bride 05:00 Close 20:00 Glastonbury 2015 21:00 Glastonbury 2015 21:50 Match of the Day Live

00:05 Dogging Tales 01:15 My Big Fat Gypsy Fortune 02:10 One Born Every Minute USA 03:05 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 04:00 Country House Rescue 04:55 Dispatches 05:25 SuperScrimpers 05:45 Deal or No Deal 06:35 The Common Denominator 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 Jimmy's Australian Food Adventure 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Shipping Wars UK 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 The Last Leg

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 HouseBusters 05:50 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Jesse Stone: No Remorse 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 World War II in Colour 21:00 Conspiracy 22:00 Big Brother 23:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

00:35 Two and a Half Men 01:30 Love Island 02:30 Crazy Beaches 02:50 Life's Funniest Moments 03:15 The Hot Desk 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 09:10 You've Been Framed! 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 You've Been Framed! 14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 20:00 You've Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 The Back-Up Plan

00:35 The Vice 02:05 City Lights 02:55 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 On the Buses 07:35 Heartbeat 08:35 The Royal 09:40 Murder, She Wrote 10:40 Judge Judy 11:55 A Touch of Frost 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 The Royal 16:15 Wild at Heart 17:15 French Fields 17:50 Doctor in the House 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Rosemary & Thyme 22:00 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 23:00 afterlife

TV Pullout

Friday 26th June 2015

SATURDAY

27th JUNE

00:25 SunTrap

00:00 Glastonbury 2015

00:10 Bloody Sunday

00:10 Man Down

00:55 Fallen

03:00 Question Time

02:10 Jackpot247

00:40 Greg Davies: The Back

04:00 Protecting Our Foster

04:00 Britain's Best Bakery

of My Mum's Head

04:50 ITV Nightscreen

01:35 The Big Bang Theory

07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate

02:00 Supernatural

Challenge

02:50 The Hotel

02:55 Weather for the Week Ahead

Kids

03:00 BBC News

05:00 Schools - One Hundred

07:00 Breakfast

Years of the Women's

07:25 Pat & Stan

03:45 Four Rooms US

11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live

Movement

07:35 Dino Dan

04:35 The Renovation Game

05:30 Schools - Poland

08:00 Canimals

05:30 Deal or No Deal

Stories: Secondary

08:15 Sooty

06:20 The Common

07:10 The Lost Squadron

08:30 Super 4

Denominator

09:00 Nerds & Monsters

06:45 Close

09:25 ITV News

07:10 Triathlon

09:30 Weekend

08:05 The Grid

12:00 Kangaroo Dundee

10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:30 FIM Superbike World

12:30 Kangaroo Dundee

13:20 ITV News and Weather

Championship

13:00 James Martin's Food

13:29 ITV Local Weather

09:00 The Morning Line

Map of Britain

13:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show

10:00 Frasier

14:35 Surprise Surprise

10:30 Frasier

15:35 1000 Heartbeats

11:00 The Big Bang Theory

16:35 All Star Family Fortunes

12:20 The Simpsons

12:30 The Box 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 Homes Under the Hammer

08:30 East of Sudan 10:00 Wimbledon Classics

15:00 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 15:30 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League 18:05 Escape to the Country 18:50 Pointless Celebrities

13:15 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial

19:40 BBC News 19:50 BBC Local News;

14:15 Tennis from Eastbourne

17:20 Scooby-Doo

13:55 Rude(ish) Tube

Weather

17:00 Flog It!

19:00 ITV Local News

14:25 Channel 4 Racing

20:00 Prized Apart

17:30 Glastonbury 2015

19:10 ITV News and Weather

17:10 Come Dine with Me

21:05 The National Lottery:

19:00 Gardeners' World

19:30 You've Been Framed!

17:45 Come Dine with Me

Who Dares Wins

19:30 Edwardian Farm

20:00 Harry Potter and the Order

19:40 Channel 4 News

21:55 Casualty

20:30 Japan: Earth's

of the Phoenix

20:00 Walking Through

22:45 The John Bishop Show

Enchanted Islands

22:40 Black Work

History

23:40 ITV News and Weather

21:00 Penelope Keith's

23:30 National Lottery Update

21:30 Dad's Army

23:54 ITV Local Weather

Hidden Villages

23:30 BBC News; Weather

22:00 Mock the Week

23:55 FIA Formula E

22:00 Taken 2

23:50 Not Going Out

22:30 Glastonbury 2015

Championship

23:55 Babylon AD

00:00 Glastonbury 2015

00:10 Celebrity Juice 00:55 Two and a Half Men 01:55 Fake Reaction 02:35 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 03:00 Life's Funniest Moments 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Emmerdale 09:35 Coronation Street 12:00 Catchphrase 13:00 Music and Lyrics 15:10 Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium 17:05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 17:35 Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 19:05 Minion Madness 19:20 A Cinderella Story 21:10 Along Came Polly 23:00 Love Island

00:30 Big Brother 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:20 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:20 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Pip Ahoy! 07:45 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 Make Way for Noddy 08:25 Paw Patrol 08:40 Little Princess 09:00 Wanda and the Alien 09:15 Zack and Quack 09:30 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:45 Jelly Jamm 10:05 LazyTown 10:30 Dora and Friends 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 Access 11:50 Stop! Police Interceptors 12:45 Stop! Police Interceptors 13:50 Columbo: Playback 15:20 The Green Berets 18:05 5 News Weekend 18:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 19:10 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 20:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 21:00 Celebs on Benefits: Fame to Claim 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The 80s: The Best of Bad TV

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

01:15 Family Guy 01:40 Family Guy 02:00 American Dad! 02:25 Family Guy 02:45 Festivals, Sex and Suspicious Parents

TV Choice

TonightÂ´s big sit-down-as-a-family-and-enjoy moment is another wizardry adventure, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on ITV. In the fifth episode of the Harry Potter series, rumours of Voldemort's return are intensifying. But the Ministry of Magic refuses to accept that "He Who Should Not Be Named" may be plotting a comeback. To make matters worse, the Ministry suspects that Dumbledore could be planning a takeover and installs obstructive official Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) at Hogwarts to spy on the old professor and limit the teaching of defensive magic. In rebellion, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe, pictured) forms a secret army which is later ambushed by Death Eaters. Sirius and his Order of the Phoenix smash the attack, but tragedy strikes when Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter) casts a wicked spell... Fans will note a darker tone to this instalment, as well as an emphasis on Harry's emotional journey, which ranges from typical teenage angst to bitterness and grief. Special attention has also been paid to the effects, with the flying sequences and Ministry sets standing out, while the habitual who's-who of Brit actors extends to include an impressive performance from Potter newcomer Staunton.

03:45 Stacey Dooley Investigates 04:45 Comedy Feeds 05:00 Close 20:00 Glastonbury 2015 21:00 Glastonbury 2015 21:50 Match of the Day Live

00:05 The Vice 01:45 The Human Stain 03:25 Stephen Tompkinson's Australian Balloon Adventure 04:15 ITV3 Nightscreen 04:40 Emmerdale 07:00 Where the Heart Is 08:55 Lewis 10:55 Inspector Morse 13:05 Inspector Morse 15:25 Inspector Morse 17:40 Inspector Morse 19:55 Doc Martin 21:00 Foyle's War 23:00 A Touch of Frost

Friday 26th June 2015

SUNDAY

TV Pullout

28th JUNE

00:20 Room 101 - Extra Storage 01:00 The Hot Chick 02:40 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 Prized Apart 15:20 Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 15:50 Flog It! 16:25 Escape to the Continent 17:25 Songs of Praise 18:00 Nigel Slater: Eating Together 18:30 Nature's Greatest Dancers 19:30 BBC News 19:50 BBC Local News; Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell 23:00 BBC News 23:20 BBC Local News; Weather 23:30 A David Attenborough Special

00:55 The Chase 01:50 Jackpot247 03:40 This Is BBC Two 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 07:05 Animal Park 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate 07:35 The Big Allotment Challenge Challenge 07:25 Pat & Stan 07:35 Dino Dan 08:35 Countryfile 08:00 Canimals 08:15 Sooty 09:35 Gardeners' World 08:30 Fort Boyard Ultimate 10:05 The Beechgrove Garden Challenge 09:25 ITV News 10:35 Saturday Kitchen Best 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show Bites 12:30 Live FIA Formula E 12:05 The Box Championship 14:15 ITV News and Weather 12:35 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on 14:29 ITV Local Weather 14:30 Long Lost Family Trial 15:30 Off Their Rockers 16:00 Live FIA Formula E 13:35 Wimbledon 2015 Championship 14:35 From Here to Eternity 18:45 Love Your Garden 19:45 ITV Local Weather 16:30 Live Challenge Cup 19:45 ITV Local News 20:00 ITV News and Weather Rugby League 20:15 Catchphrase 19:15 Glastonbury 2015 21:00 Surprise Surprise 22:00 Black Work 21:00 Top Gear 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:19 ITV Local Weather 22:15 Odyssey 23:20 FIA Formula E 23:40 Glastonbury 2015 Championship 02:00 The Infidel

01:40 Street Sound and Style

23:00 The Cold Light of Day

00:30 Jackass 00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:00 Person of Interest 05:50 Make It Big 06:40 Angels of Jarm 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:20 Angelina Ballerina 07:35 Pip Ahoy! 07:45 The Mr Men Show 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Chloe's Closet 08:15 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Paw Patrol 08:50 Little Princess 09:00 Wanda and the Alien 09:10 Zack and Quack 09:25 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:45 Jelly Jamm 10:00 LazyTown 10:30 Dora and Friends 11:00 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35 The Secret Life of Pets 12:05 Stop! Police Interceptors 13:05 The Land before Time 14:20 The Princess Bride 16:15 Spies like Us 18:05 5 News Weekend 18:10 Beetle Juice 19:55 Dirty Dancing 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Greatest 80s Movies

00:00 Bachelorette 01:50 The Keith Lemon Sketch Show 02:45 Love Island 03:35 Teleshopping 06:35 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:45 Emmerdale 10:35 Coronation Street 13:00 Catchphrase 13:40 Take Me Out 14:50 Take Me Out - The Gossip 15:35 Love Island 16:35 Minion Madness 16:50 Despicable Me 18:45 The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey 22:00 Love Island 23:00 The Break-Up

01:05 Wire in the Blood 02:30 Judge Judy 02:50 Man About the House 03:20 ITV3 Nightscreen 03:30 Teleshopping 07:00 Calamity Jane 08:55 Heartbeat 09:55 Heartbeat 10:55 Inspector Morse 13:05 Inspector Morse 15:20 Inspector Morse 17:35 Inspector Morse 19:50 Inspector Morse 22:00 Caroline Quentin's National Parks 23:00 Wimbledon

02:05 The Last Leg 03:05 Hollyoaks 05:10 Hugh's 3 Good Things: Best Bites 05:25 The Renovation Game 06:20 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 07:15 How I Met Your Mother 08:05 Ginetta GT5 Challenge 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Jamie and Jimmy's Friday Night Feast 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 15:30 Edward Scissorhands 17:35 Location, Location, Location 18:35 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 Kevin McCloud's Escape to the Wild 21:00 Amazing Spaces Shed of the Year 22:00 Humans

Dirty Dancing

00:00 Glastonbury 2015 01:15 Match of the Day Live 03:25 Stacey Dooley Investigates 04:25 Comedy Feeds

TV Choice

04:50 Close 20:00 Don't Tell the Bride

Classic coming-of-age drama Dirty Dancing in on Five tonight, starring Jennifer Grey as 'Baby' and Patrick Swayze as Johnny, about a spoiled 21:00 Glastonbury 2015 17-year-old girl Baby Houseman who learns a lot about life from the hotel dance instructor Johhny Castle during a family summer vacation in the 22:00 Glastonbury 2015 Catskills in 1963. After teaching her to dance, Johnny's sexy dance moves have a pro- 23:30 Glastonbury 2015 found affect on Baby and the pair fall in love. Baby's father has over ideas about their relationship however, and orders her to end it. Featuring the Oscar-winning song 'I've Had the Time of My Life', performed by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes. By the way, if you havenÂ´t seen Humans on Channel 4 yet, it might be worth checking it out before the story runs away and itÂ´s difficult to catch up. Tonight, Laura finds herself at odds with her family when she tries to return Anita to the shop. But when Anita saves Toby from a near-fatal road accident, Laura is begrudgingly forced to keep her. But do the family prefer Anita? Joe suggests that Laura is imagining Anita's strange behaviour, but he can't help noticing how human Anita appears when he has to strip her down to check for damage. George is hatching a daring plan to escape with Odi. Pete and Karen investigate a murder at a brothel, but after Pete's hot temper earns him a suspension, he's stuck at home with Simon.

TV Pullout

Friday 26th June 2015

MONDAY

29th JUNE

00:05 Don't Tell the Bride

02:00 Treacle Jr

01:05 Weather for the Week 03:20 Countryfile

Ahead 01:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow

04:15 Holby City 05:15 This Is BBC Two

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer

07:00 Homes Under the

12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Hammer Under 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather

08:00 Claimed and Shamed 08:30 Family Finders

14:45 Wimbledon 2015 19:00 BBC News

09:15 Demolition: The

19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC Local News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News

Wrecking Crew 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 Daily Politics

20:30 Nigel Slater: Eating Together

12:30 Wimbledon 2015

21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Wimbledon 2Day

21:30 Panorama 22:00 The Met: Policing

22:30 RHS Hampton Court

London 23:00 BBC News

Palace Flower Show

23:25 BBC Local News; Weather

23:00 Episodes

23:35 Have I Got Old News for 23:30 Newsnight

You

00:20 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive 01:20 Jackpot247 04:00 Motorsport UK 04:50 British Superbike Championship Highlights 05:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Local Weather 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Local Weather 14:55 ITV Local News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Local Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Local News 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Vicious 22:30 It's a Funny Old Week with Jason Manford 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Local Weather 23:30 ITV Local News 23:40 Plebs

00:55 Rude Tube 01:50 Blue Valentine 03:45 Come Dine with Me 06:05 The Renovation Game 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 The Big Bang Theory 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:40 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Superfoods: The Real Story 22:00 Kevin McCloud's Escape to the Wild 23:00 Man Down 23:35 Tattoo Fixers

01:50 Jackass 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:45 Angels of Jarm 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 King of Texas 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Stop! Police Interceptors 21:00 Furious & Funny: Caught on Camera 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Under the Dome 23:55 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

01:15 Crazy Beaches 01:40 Love Island 02:40 Fake Reaction 03:15 Teleshopping 06:45 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 New You've Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Ibiza Weekender 23:00 Love Island

01:00 Wycliffe 02:05 On the Buses 03:00 Judge Judy 03:20 Judge Judy 03:45 Cornwall with Caroline Quentin 04:30 ITV3 Nightscreen 04:40 Emmerdale 07:00 On the Buses 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Murder, She Wrote 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 A Touch of Frost 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Wild at Heart 17:15 French Fields 17:50 Doctor in the House 18:20 On the Buses 18:55 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 A Touch of Frost 23:00 The Kindness of Strangers

Soap Bubble 00:30 Family Guy 01:15 American Dad! 01:35 Family Guy 02:55 Festivals, Sex and Suspicious Parents 03:45 Don't Tell the Bride 04:40 Great Movie Mistakes 04:55 Close Patrick visits Dot in Prison In tonight´s Emmerdale, it’s the morning after and Debbie and Ross are still asleep on a makeshift bed in the garage. Meanwhile, Pete is worried about Moses who has a temperature and James tells him they need to take him to hospital, immediately. In Coronation Street, Michael sets off to clear the air with Gail, in the hope they can salvage their marriage. As they have a heart to heart, Michael explains to Gail how much she hurt him with her web of lies. In part 2, Gail rages at Eileen. Eileen does her best to defend herself, assuring Gail they only kissed and Michael isn’t really her type, but this only serves to fuel Gail’s anger. Gail pursues Eileen out of the salon and the two women fight on the street. In Eastenders, Shabnam is battered, bruised and still in shock after her attack. Masood fails to convince her to speak to the police about what happened, so he takes matters into his own hands by calling them himself. Shabnam's anger towards her father is reignited when she receives a phone call from a police officer, who asks her for a statement. She furiously loses it with Masood before Stacey finds her in tears. Elsewhere, Patrick remains cold towards Vincent and refuses to go back to the house. However, after a few tough words from Dot when he visits her in prison, Patrick finally decides to give Vincent a chance and moves back in.

20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Live at the Apollo 23:00 EastEnders 23:30 Bad Education

Friday 26th June 2015

TUESDAY

TV Pullout

30th JUNE

00:05 Have I Got Old News for 00:15 Weather You

00:20 Odyssey

00:35 The Graham Norton Show

01:50 Napoleon

01:25 Weather for the Week

02:50 Watchdog

Ahead 01:30 BBC News

03:50 The BBC at War

07:00 Breakfast

04:50 This Is BBC Two

10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow

05:00 Schools - Empire

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council

06:00 Schools - Story of Britain

12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down 07:00 Homes Under the Under Hammer 13:15 Bargain Hunt 08:00 Call the Council 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2015

08:45 RHS Hampton Court

19:00 BBC News Palace Flower Show

19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC Local News

09:15 Japan: Earth's

20:00 The One Show

Enchanted Islands

20:30 BBC News; Regional 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire

News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City

12:00 Daily Politics 12:30 Wimbledon 2015

22:00 The Syndicate 23:00 BBC News

21:30 Wimbledon 2Day

23:25 National Lottery Update

22:30 The Bank: A Matter of

23:25 BBC Local News; Weather

Life and Debt

23:30 Newsnight 23:35 Imagine Eastenders - Shirley Finds a Bra

Soap Bubble In Emmerdale, Debbie is struggling to make a decision regarding Moses’ operation when Charity arrives, with a prison guard and bristling with attitude. Debbie’s furious with Charity, who seems unaffected by Moses’ worrying condition. Debbie snaps, telling Charity the baby’s father should know his son is ill. But Charity vehemently disagrees. Later, in the pub, Pete comforts an upset Debbie but Ross can’t take it and heads for the door. Rachel is struggling with Jai’s bully-boy tactics. Ruby’s chuffed to see Ali home but Rachel’s awkward. Ali breaks the ice, asking for a hug. Elsewhere, Jai suspects Rachel lied when she told him Archie was ill and suggests there’s only one way to find out. Later, Rachel is horrified when Jai brings a doctor round to see Archie. Rachel is seething with rage and Sam is deeply uneasy about the extent of Rachel’s bitterness. In Eastenders, Carol attends her appointment with the surgeon, with Sonia accompanying her for moral support. She is told that there is no sign of her cancer coming back, but when the surgeon mentions a breast reconstruction, Sonia steps in and declines on her mum's behalf. Later, Sonia is annoyed when Carol arrives home drunk. They begin to argue, but they're interrupted when Shirley turns up to confront Carol too, having found a bra down the back of the sofa at home. Carol then admits that she slept with Buster...

00:10 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Local Weather 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Local Weather 14:55 ITV Local News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Local Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Local News 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones 21:00 Love Your Garden 22:00 The 7/7 Bombing: Survivors' Stories 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Local Weather 23:30 ITV Local News 23:45 Benidorm

00:35 24 Hours in A&E 01:35 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 02:25 Spying on Hitler's Army: The Secret Recordings 03:20 Country House Rescue 04:20 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:15 The Renovation Game 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 The Big Bang Theory 11:25 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 22:00 Child Genius 23:00 Not Safe For Work 23:50 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

01:20 Psycho Pussies: When Cats Attack 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Polar Storm 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Stop! Police Interceptors 21:00 The Dog Rescuers 22:00 OAPs Behaving Badly 23:00 Big Brother

00:05 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 Family Guy 01:30 Bad Education 02:00 Festivals, Sex and Suspicious Parents 03:00 Live at the Apollo 04:00 Don't Tell the Bride 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents 23:00 EastEnders 23:30 Russell Howard's Good News

00:00 Celebrity Juice 00:45 Two and a Half Men 01:40 The Vampire Diaries 02:30 Love Island 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You've Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Love Island 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Bad Bridesmaid

00:35 01:40 02:30 03:15 03:30 07:00 07:10 07:35 08:35 09:40 10:40 11:55 14:10 15:10 16:15 17:20 17:55 18:25 18:55 20:00 21:00 23:00

The Vice The Royal Judge Judy ITV3 Nightscreen Teleshopping Movies Now On the Buses Heartbeat The Royal Murder, She Wrote Judge Judy A Touch of Frost Heartbeat The Royal Wild at Heart French Fields Doctor at Large On the Buses Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Midsomer Murders The Kindness of Strangers

TV Pullout

Friday 26th June 2015

WEDNESDAY

1st JULY

00:55 Surviving Summer 02:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:45 Call the Council 12:30 Wimbledon 2015 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2015 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC Local News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 The Interceptor 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Local News; Weather 23:35 SunTrap

00:15 Weather

00:15 The Chase 01:10 Jackpot247 00:20 Match of the Day Live 04:00 Loose Women 03:15 Antiques Roadshow 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 04:15 Napoleon 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 05:15 This Is BBC Two 09:30 Lorraine 05:30 Biomimetics - Designed 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show by Nature 11:30 This Morning 06:00 Wild Weather with 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Local Weather Richard Hammond 12:00 This Morning 06:30 Schools - Life on Planet 13:30 Loose Women Ant 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Local Weather 07:00 Homes Under the 14:55 ITV Local News Hammer 15:00 Judge Rinder 08:00 Call the Council 16:00 Secret Dealers 08:45 Helicopter Heroes Down 16:59 ITV Local Weather 17:00 Tipping Point Under 18:00 The Chase 09:15 See Hear 19:00 ITV Local News 09:45 Cowboys and Angels 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 20:30 Coronation Street 12:00 BBC News 21:00 The Cube 12:30 Daily Politics 22:00 Long Lost Family 14:00 Wimbledon 2015 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 21:30 Wimbledon 2Day 23:30 ITV Local Weather 22:30 RHS Hampton Court 23:30 ITV Local News Palace Flower Show 23:40 The Mafia with Trevor McDonald 23:30 Newsnight

00:55 Rude Tube 01:50 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:20 Gillette World Sport 02:50 FIM Superbike World Championship 03:15 The Grid 03:45 Ginetta GT5 Challenge 04:15 Triathlon 05:10 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:40 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Auction House 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Kids in Crisis?

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Celebs on Benefits: Fame to Claim 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Trauma Doctors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Subzero 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The 12-Year-Old Shopaholic, and Other Big Spending Kids 21:00 90 Cats and Counting: Cat Crazies 22:00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 23:00 Big Brother

00:50 Two and a Half Men 01:40 Love Island 02:35 Crazy Beaches 03:00 Life's Funniest Moments 03:20 Teleshopping 06:50 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 The Cube 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 The Cube 14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 New You've Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Love Island 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 The Vampire Diaries

00:35 01:40 03:30 07:00 07:25 08:25 09:25 10:30 11:55 14:00 15:05 16:10 17:15 17:50 18:20 18:55 19:55 21:00 23:00

Coronation Street - Liz introduces Dan to Leanne

00:00 Family Guy 00:45 American Dad! 01:10 Family Guy 01:30 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents 02:30 Russell Howard's Good News 03:00 Don't Tell the Bride

Soap Bubble In Emmerdale, Jai goads Rachel telling her Sam was all over Tracy in the café. Rachel fumes but will Jai’s tactic work? Later, Jai thanks Megan for supporting him at court and they kiss. A jealous Leyla watches. But when Megan goes, Jai forms a plan, asking Leyla to befriend Rachel. It’s not long before Leyla is outside their house when she overhears a fracas inside, and swiftly reports back to Jai who assumes, Rachel has hit Archie. He’s about to storm over when Leyla stops him,they need proof. Before long, Leyla returns to Tennants, telling Rachel she’s there to return Archie’s teddy – but unbeknownst to Rachel, the teddy now houses a secret filming device… In Coronation Street, Having spent the night with Dan, Liz is happy as Steve arrives back from Spain. Steve’s pleased to see how Liz is moving on after Tony’s affair but he’s furious to learn that Tony owns half the pub, having conned him out of his share. Unable to eat or sleep, Gail’s deeply upset over Michael. Michael’s also downbeat, pointing out it was only a kiss. Not wanting to provoke Gail further he moves out of the Grimshaws. When Andy and Steph offer Michael a roof over his head, Michael reluctantly accepts. Gail approaches Michael and pointing out he appears to have forgiven Andy, wonders if he could find it in his heart to forgive her too. Will the couple reconcile?

04:00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents 05:00 Close 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Shanghai Noon 22:45 Great Movie Mistakes 23:00 Insane Fight Club

The Vice A Touch of Frost Teleshopping On the Buses Heartbeat The Royal Murder, She Wrote Judge Judy A Touch of Frost Heartbeat The Royal Wild at Heart French Fields Doctor at Large On the Buses Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Lewis Blue Murder

TV Pullout

Friday 26th June 2015

THURSDAY

2nd JULY

00:05 The Met: Policing London

00:15 Weather

01:05 Weather for the Week

00:20 Match of the Day Live

Ahead

03:15 See Hear

01:15 BBC News

03:45 Kate Humble: Living

07:00 Breakfast

with Nomads

10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow

04:45 This Is BBC Two

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Call the Council 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under

05:00 Children of the Holocaust 05:45 Guin and the Dragon 06:00 History Hunt

13:15 Bargain Hunt

07:15 Homes Under the

14:00 BBC News; Weather Hammer 14:45 Wimbledon 2015 08:15 RHS Hampton Court 19:00 BBC News Palace Flower Show

19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC Local News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News

09:15 Animals Unexpected 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 Daily Politics 12:30 Wimbledon 2015

20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Britain Beneath Your Feet

21:30 Wimbledon 2Day

22:00 Celebrity MasterChef

22:30 RHS Hampton Court

23:00 BBC News

Palace Flower Show

23:25 BBC Local News; Weather

23:00 Mock the Week

23:35 Question Time

23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Ejector Seat 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 11:55 ITV News 11:59 ITV Local Weather 12:00 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Local Weather 14:55 ITV Local News 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Local Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Local News 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Big Box Little Box 22:00 Superhospital 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Local Weather 23:30 ITV Local News 23:40 Exposure

00:00 On the Edge and Online

23:00 Career Criminals

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 OAPs Behaving Badly 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 The WotWots 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Lily's Driftwood Bay 07:30 Fireman Sam 07:40 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Little Princess 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 NYC: Tornado Terror 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Trauma Doctors 21:00 Benefits: 37 Years on the Dole 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Person of Interest

00:00 Family Guy

00:45 Two and a Half Men 01:35 Love Island 02:35 The Vampire Diaries 03:25 Teleshopping 06:55 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 Life's Funniest Moments 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:10 You've Been Framed! 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 You've Been Framed! 14:45 Dinner Date 15:40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 New You've Been Framed! 20:30 Jurassic Park 23:00 Love Island

00:30 01:35 02:30 02:50 03:15 03:30 07:00 07:25 08:25 09:30 10:30 11:55 14:05 15:05 16:10 17:15 17:50 18:20 18:55 20:00 21:00 23:00

01:00 Wild Life Festival 01:30 My Daughter the Teenage Nudist 02:25 One Born Every Minute USA 03:20 Conviction 05:10 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 06:05 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Deal or No Deal 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dogs: Their Secret Lives 22:00 The Tribe

Emmerdale - Teddycam

00:45 American Dad! 01:10 Family Guy 01:30 People Just Do Nothing 02:30 Insane Fight Club 03:30 Comedy Feeds 04:00 People Just Do Nothing 05:00 Close

Soap Bubble In Emmerdale, Jai continues to watch Rachel’s actions from afar, but when ‘teddycam’ only shows a skewed image, his anxiety grows and he heads to find Rachel, determined to see Archie and make sure he is okay. Arriving at the playground, Jai demands to have his son for a few hours, Rachel agrees, preoccupied as she attempts to make up with Sam. Meanwhile, Jai has arrived back with Archie and checks him over for bruises, fighting back tears at the unhappy situation. Confessing his love to Leyla, he tells her they’ll be together in a few more weeks, before passionately kissing, unaware the hidden teddy cam continues to record. Will Jai fall victim to his own trap? As the story continues, Rachel watches ‘teddycam’ as Jai tells Leyla how he’s hidden money and plans to leave Megan. Rachel is pleased to have such incriminating evidence on Jai though Sam suggests they bide their time and think things through before acting on it. But later at the pub, when Megan makes comments to Rachel insisting she and Jai could give Archie the life Rachel could only dream of, will the now empowered Rachel bite back and shatter Megan’s illusion? In Eastenders, Carol faces a backlash after the bombshell she dropped on Shirley. Shirley refuses to hear what Buster has to say, but they have to put on a united front when Derek from Child Services visits to discuss their chances of getting access to Jade.

20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Don't Tell the Bride 22:00 Reggie Yates: Extreme South Africa 23:00 EastEnders 23:30 Russell Howard's Good News

The Vice The Royal Judge Judy Man About the House ITV3 Nightscreen Teleshopping On the Buses Heartbeat The Royal Murder, She Wrote Judge Judy A Touch of Frost Heartbeat The Royal Wild at Heart French Fields Doctor at Large On the Buses Heartbeat Murder, She Wrote Foyle's War Blue Murder

TV Pullout

Friday 26th June 2015

TV Pullout - Quizzes

Friday 26th June 2015

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 5 represents B and 19 represents N, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Throw off (4) 3 Facing (8) 9 Inspect (7) 10 Fertile spot in a desert (5) 11 Verses (5) 12 Objective (6) 14 Pressure (6) 16 Forgive (6) 19 Lowly (6) 21 Sum (5) 24 Test (5) 25 Abuses (7) 26 Delight (8) 27 Second-hand (4)

1 Most inexpensive (8) 2 Frighten (5) 4 Attractive (6) 5 Smell (5) 6 Alternatively (7) 7 Effortlessness (4) 8 Osculates (6) 13 Surrounded (8) 15 Procedure (7) 17 Creative person (6) 18 High-ranking (6) 20 Invoices (5) 22 Stories (5) 23 Halt (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Trapped, 5 Idle, 7 Inn, 9 Scare, 10 Vague, 11 Tie, 12 Items, 13 Seats, 14 Knot, 15 Gifts, 18 Steam, 20 True, 21 Drama, 22 Storm, 24 Bus, 25 Equal, 26 Clown, 27 Eye, 28 Beds, 29 Desires. Down: 1 Testing, 2 Aware, 3 Press, 4 Distinguished, 5 Invests, 6 Luggage, 8 Legs, 16 Feature, 17 Stables, 19 Moments, 21 Deed, 22 Sacks, 23 Odour.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Girl in the French vessel (4) 4 Criticise pub credit (5) 9 Oddly, is my in-tray the duplicate? (7) 10 A section of people care naturally for the stadium (5) 11 Noisily speculated about invitee (5) 12 Brew tea leaves, but not as boost (7) 13 Being more reckless, I might get grilled (6) 15 Citric mixture for an enemy (6) 19 Stir it in quartz (7) 21 Furtively surveys legal proceedings (5) 23 Discharges part of the ecosystem itself (5) 24 Resulting from a fairer travel cost (7) 25 Episode starts with some children entering new establishment (5) 26 Recognises Bishops’ jurisdictions (4)

Down 2 Accept Romeo leaves a bride (5) 3 Commence the French alarm (7) 4 Imagine leftist and suddenly become very angry (3,3) 5 Sailor consumed sink (5) 6 The gate Len made is very posh (7) 7 Force liner about, causing delay (6) 8 Grow weak when confused with the inability to hear (4) 14 Ghosts’ drinks (7) 16 Charts disks (7) 17 Somehow chews a nut (6) 18 Watch out for secondrate merchandise (6) 19 Adam’s son turns up in double-bass recital (4) 20 By the sound of it, I’ll row (5) 22 Arab leader heard frothy milk drink (5)

Down STANDARD CLUES 2 Endure (5) Across 3 Catch unaware (7) 1 Young girl (4) 4 Become angry (3,3) 4 Blackboard material (5) 5 Become less intense (5) 9 Copy (7) 6 Graceful (7) 10 Sports building (5) 7 Hang around (6) 11 Visitor (5) 8 Decline (4) 12 Lift up (7) 14 Strong liquor (7) 13 Bacon slice (6) 16 Takes down (7) 15 Faultfinder (6) 17 Type of nut (6) 19 Stir up (7) 18 Watch out! (6) 21 Instances (5) 19 Famous murder victim 23 Discharges (5) (4) 24 Flying fee (7) 20 Gangway (5) 25 Landscape (5) 22 Quiver (5) 26 Perceives (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Scale, 4 Paste, 8 Rearguard, 9 Doe, 10 Obey, 11 Extreme, 12/18D Air base, 13 Fall, 15 Nose, 16 Sag, 18 Besiege, 19 Ache, 22 She, 23 Eradicate, 24 Scope, 25 Sheet. Down: 1 Sermon, 2 Agate, 3 Edge, 4 Player, 5 Sedating, 6 Endless, 7 Mere, 12 Alter ego, 14 Answers, 16 Sewage, 17 Detest, 20 Cease, 21 Kiss.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words As Be Hi Up 3 letter words Add Ado Ago And Ate Boa Car Dab Eat Got Ion Its Net

One Ore Pig PrePry Red Rep Sap Sea Sir Six Sty Sum Tea Ted Tod Try 4 letter words Ages Area

Bars Bods Cans Cask Cast Coot Cosh Damp Data Disc East Gnat Ides Iota Lisp Lure Mass Monk Noel Rasp Salt

Sang Sans Sear Sexy Sold Sole Sore Sort Stir Suds Veal 5 letter words Arena Decor Doubt Handy Inane Miner Overt Pants

Pedal Sauce Spree Strep 6 letter words Absurd Assets Caress Caring Harass Monday 7 letter words Cartoon Seaside 8 letter words Entering Subpoena

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Mushrooms (flattopped) (5) 4 Streets (6) 9 Reign (7) 10 Ira (de persona) (5) 11 Lavar (4) 12 Edition (of book) (7) 13 Sol (3) 14 Merluza (4) 16 Loyal (friend, subject, employee, wife) (4) 18 One (3) 20 Listeners (radio) (7) 21 Sueldo (semanal) (4) 24 Sombra (zona sin sol) (5) 25 To choose (7) 26 Luck (6) 27 Lanza (5)

Down 1 Tornillos (6) 2 Colas (de animales, aviónes, cometas) (5) 3 Cicatriz (4) 5 Yellow (colour) (8) 6 Tear (teardrop) (7) 7 Primavera (estación) (6) 8 Young (person, animal, wine, country) (5) 13 Cinturón de seguridad (8) 15 Promedio (7) 17 Moses basket (6) 18 You (polite or formal address) (5) 19 To close (6) 22 Discutir (5) 23 Helados (4)

TV Pullout - Quizzes Across 1 On which racecourse in Berkshire are both the King George VI and Queen Elizabeth Stakes run? (5) 4 Comprising 1.5 million local volunteers otherwise ineligible for military service, what name was given to the British citizen army organised in 1940 to defend the UK against invasion? (4,5) 9 What was the nickname of the American gambler and gunfighter of the Old West, John Henry Holliday? (3) 10 What type of insect would normally live in a formicary? (3) 11 What name is often applied to a person who someone who is not connected with the Christian religion or any of the large established religions? (7) 12 In gambling casinos, what name is given to the case from which playing cards are dealt one at a time? (4) 13 Pyongyang is the capital of which East Asian country? (5,5) 15 What was the surname of the Norwegian dramatist whose works includes The Master Builder (1892), Peer Gynt (1867), A Doll's House (1879) and Ghosts (1881)? (5)

16 What unflattering name is sometimes applied to a large stomach and rolls of fat around the waist? (5,4) 17 What game, played on a court with light long-handled rackets used to volley a shuttlecock over a net, is named after the country seat of the Duke of Beaufort? (9) 21 What surname connects Aston Villa chairman Doug, former Blue Peter presenter Janet and Love Affair lead singer Steve? (5) 23 Which branch of medicine concerns childbirth, midwifery and the care of the mother? (10) 24 What is the collective noun for a group of toads? (4) 27 Which adjective means ‘of, pertaining to, or characteristic of the lion’? (7) 28 What name is given to a female sheep? (3) 29 According to legend, following the suicide of her lover, Mark Antony, Cleopatra followed suit, by killing herself by means of the bite of which venomous snake? (3) 30 Which savoury dishes are made of eggs beaten and fried in a pan, with or without cheese, herbs, ham or other additions? (9) 31 The monthly magazine, launched in 1992 by Richard

SUDOKU (Hard)

Friday 26th June 2015

Quiz Word

Ingrams, which features general-interest articles, humour and cartoons, is called The (What)? (5)

Down 1 Aconcagua is the highest peak in which major mountain system running the length of the Pacific coast of South America? (5)

2 According to Greek Mythology, what was the name of the race of savage giants with a single eye in the middle of their forehead? (7) 3 What was the surname of the actor who starred as Inspector Morse on television from 1987 to 2000? (4) 4 Do Anything You Wanna Do, in 1977, was the only UK hit single by the pub-rock band Eddie and the (What)? (3,4) 5 What epithet granted in India and Tibet to people thought to have great knowledge and love of humanity, is derived from the Sanskrit for ‘great spirit’? (7) 6 Which which position in Association Football would you principally associate Iker Casillas, Lev Yashin and Petr Cech? (10) 7 What name is given to a small receptacle for tobacco residue and cigarette ends? (7) 8 What is the name of the garment that consists of trousers with a bib held up by straps over the shoulders, made of calico, denim, or a similar material and worn as casual or working clothes? (9) 14 What name is often applied to someone who hates and would persecute

Jews? (4-6) 15 What name for ‘an intricate and confusing interpersonal or political situation’, comes from the Italian for ‘confuse’? (9) 18 Which verb means 'to get rid of by throwing away or giving or selling to someone else'? (7) 19 Which word meaning 'unbearable physical pain' or 'extreme distress of body or mind' is derived from the Latin for 'something operated by twisting'? (7) 20 What is the name of the positively charged dense centre of an atom? (7) 22 Which cord worn around the neck to hold a knife or whistle shares its name with a line used for extending or fastening rigging on ships? (7) 25 The name of which conical tent made of skins, cloth or canvas on a frame of poles, used by American Indians of the Plains and Great Lakes regions, is taken from the Sioux word for ‘dwelling’? (5) 26 Which popular line of construction toys began in the workshop of Ole Kirk Christiansen, a carpenter from Billund, Denmark, who began making wooden toys in 1932? Its name means ‘play well’ in Danish? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH LIMPIEZA A FONDO SPRING CLEANING

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

barrer blanquear la ropa fregar el suelo lavar la ropa lavar las cortinas limpiar las ventanas ordenar los cajones music QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. Ten Years After 2. Indigo 3. Chicago Transit Authority 4. Dave Clark Five 5. How Much Is That Doggy In The Window 6. Bono / U2 7. Sheena Easton 8. Whistle Down The Wind 9. Garth Brooks 10. John Cougar Mellencamp

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Crisps, 5 Reckless, 9 Mixtures, 10 Ravine, 11 Leprechaun, 12 Shaw, 13 Red Cross, 16 Rookie, 17 Scarab, 19 Black box, 21 Wise, 22 Royal flush, 25 Famine, 26 Ointment, 27 Marmoset, 28 Africa. Down: 2 Rhine, 3 Sitar, 4 Sirocco, 5 Rascals, 6 Coroner, 7 Livestock, 8 San Marino, 14 Enchilada, 15 Carpe diem, 18 Burgess, 19 Boycott, 20 Atlanta, 23 Lemur, 24 Sonic.

quitar el polvo sacar brillo a la plata sacudir los tapetes tender la ropa Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1. Barrer, 2.blanquear la ropa,

12.tender la ropa.

i.clean the floor,

3.fregar el suelo, 4.lavar la ropa,

j.polish the silver,

5.lavar las cortinas,

a.shake the rugs,

k.clean the windows,

6.limpiar las ventanas,

b.wash the clothes,

l.to tidy the draws.

7.ordenar los cajones,

c.hang out the clothes,

8.planchar, 9.quitar el polvo,

d.wash the curtains,

10.sacar brillo a la plata,

e.bleach the clothes, f.sweep,

11.sacudir los tapetes,

g.to iron, h.to dust,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1f, 2e, 3i, 4b, 5d, 6k, 7l, 8g, 9h, 10j, 11a, 12c.

1. Which British Blues Rock Trio released The Albums 'Undead' & 'Stonedhenge'? 2. There Is Just One Colour Of The Rainbow Never To Feature As Yet (16/09/08) In The Title Of A UK Top 40 Song What's The Colour 3. What was the original name of the group 'Chicago'? 4. Who was Glad All Over in their No1 hit from 1963? 5. What Was The First UK No.1 In Which The Entire Title Actually Posed A Question? 6. On the Single ' Do They Know It's Christmas ' Only One Person Performed On Both The Original And The 20 Year Remake Band 7. Who Sang The Theme To The Bond Movie For Your Eyes Only? 8. Which 1961 Movie Directed By Brian Forbes & Starring Hayley Mills & Alan Bates, Provided The Inspiration For Andrew Lloy 9. Who Released An Album In The Guise Of A Fictitious Singer Entitled 'In The Life Of Chris Gaines' In 1999? 10. R.O.C.K In The USA' Was A Hit For Which American Rocker?

planchar

Fill It In

On The Box

Friday 26th June 2015

Tennison – The Early Days

ITV has commissioned a brand new drama looking back at the fictional life of one of their greatest detectives, Jane Tennison. The prequel to Prime Suspect will be written by Lynda La Plante and will compose of six episodes, each an hour long, portraying the young Jane Tennison beginning her career and revealing why she became such a complex and formidable character in the Metropolitan Police. It’s Hackney in the 1970s, and women police constables are being uneasily ‘integrated’ into the force. We’re introduced to 22year-old Jane, a probationary officer in a world where high-ranking police officers were notoriously chauvinistic, and the rules and regulations often bent.

Single-minded and ambitious, if a touch naïve, Jane’s dedicated and instinctive approach to her career is evident from the start. Starting as a WPC on the beat, she is thrown in at the deep end, drawn into a brutal murder invesigation, and experiences first hand London’s violent criminal ganglands. She works alongside senior investigating officer DCI Bradfield, and in her first murder case, sees the devastating effects violent crime has on the victim’s family, as well as experiencing tragic ramifications herself. With a strong sense of style and a 70’s musical backdrop to the narrative, we’ll also meet Jane’s family and begin to understand the complexities of her ambition and personal life, that shape the character

recognised by millions of viewers worldwide. The drama series will broadcast in 2016 to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the first Prime Suspect series screening on ITV in 1991. Seven series of the iconic police drama were produced from 1991-2006 starring Dame Helen Mirren

who brought DCI Tennison and later Detective Superintendent Tennison to life. The prequel has been devised by Lynda La Plante who has written a book titled Tennison, to be published by Simon and Schuster in September 2015, before hitting our screens in 2016.

Michelle Keegan is Our New Girl BBC One has announced a brand new series of the acclaimed army based drama series, Our Girl.

However, Lacy Turner will not be returning. Lacey says: "I had an amazing time making Our Girl and

taking Molly on her journey. Unfortunately, I won't be able to take her through this series as I'm currently busy working on EastEnders, but I know that Tony will write a fantastic series full of action and drama with great characters. I hope everyone enjoys making the second series as much as we did the first.” Instead, the new five-part series will star former Coronation Street actress Michelle Keegan, and will

follow the British Army on a posting in contemporary Kenya. Michelle will play Corporal Georgie Lane, a brilliant and committed soldier who loves the adrenaline and adventure of her job. Michelle Keegan says: "I've watched Our Girl and I'm a massive fan of the series so I can't wait to be a part of it. It's going to be a big but exciting challenge for me so I can't wait to get started!"

Who Do You Think You Are? This summer, Who Do You Think You Are? Returns, delving into the family trees of stars from the world of film and TV, theatre, music, cookery, modelling, and news. In this 12th series, Great British Bake off presenter Paul Hollywood, modelling legend Jerry Hall, Last Tango In Halifax stars Sir Derek Jacobi and Anne Reid, actress Jane Seymour, choirmaster and broadcaster Gareth Malone, stage and television actress Frances de la Tour, news reporter Frank Gardner, actor and writer Mark Gatiss and television presenter Anita Rani will reveal all. Spanning almost a thousand years of history and crossing four continents, the new series follows our 10 household names as they investigate the secrets of their family trees. Travelling from the Tower of London to the Highlands of Scotland, from Tunisia to Tasmania, from the

Punjab in India to the Wild West of America, our intrepid 10 each embark on a journey of discovery as they dig deep into their family ancestry, uncovering a host of hidden pasts and shocking revelations. Full of heartbreak, laughter, intrigue and surprise, each film captures every step of our celebrity’s mission to learn more about their ancestors’ lives. From new-born babies spirited away under cover of darkness to convicts transported to the other side of the world; from sisters separated by the Holocaust to the battlefields of North Africa; from laudanumaddicted socialites to paying the ultimate price for treason in Tudor England; from music halls to tales of vampires, the latest series of Who Do You Think You Are? reveals the rich and extraordinary stories of our celebrities’ families and their history.

TRELI ON THE TELLY AN UNFUNNY LOAD OF RUBBISH WITH ALEX TRELINSKI

So it’s a Monday evening and you’re a bit bored, and you fancy a little bit of a party game. Can I therefore recommend you watch ITV’s new show It’s A Funny Old Week hosted by Jason Manford because I have the perfect time-killer for you. Before it starts, get you and the rest of the members of your household to guess how many cutaway shots will be screened of the studio audience laughing in hysterics. It’s the only fun part of the show as the blatantly inserted pictures of people behaving like sea lions who have just been thrown a fish, got me on the floor in stitches. I can only guess that a copious amount of laughing gas had been

released through the studio ventilation system to create the false impression that this programme is funny, because this is a ragbag of rubbish that has done nothing to enhance the reputation of the normally entertaining Manford. The show is a poor attempt to rip-off elements of Mock The Week, TV Burp, You’ve Been Framed and Have I Got News For You, with a number of video clips that are weeks old, and not fresh off the internet. Manford tries to offer a satirical commentary that just isn’t funny and he frankly looks embarrassed and ill at ease with it all. It’s puerile pap and he has to shoulder some of the blame for it, as his name is on the writing credits. UK TV could do with a satirical review show with

some teeth and I suggest that Manford’s team ought to look at fellow-Brit John Oliver’s US programme, Last Week

self in guessing the figure, if you can put up with the rest of it! Sheridan Smith, who we

Tonight (screened on Sky Atlantic) which is terrific both with the writing and Oliver’s presentation. By the way, the average count for the hysterical studio audience cut-away shots for It’s A Funny Old Week is 25 based on the first two shows. Give it a go your-

featured in our TV Guide last week, has quickly become a bankable commodity in UK TV drama, which means that she can pick and choose what she does and that it’s unlikely that she’ll go for a duff script. ITV’s Black Work sees her as a Leeds copper

mourning the murder of her husband (and also policeman), and so we wonder whether his death had a lot more to it. The mix includes Smith’s character not knowing what he was up to, and a great revelation that her car was being bugged, including conversations with another copper that she was having an affair with. With two more parts to go(and a chance to watch it again tomorrow night), it’s good quality ITV drama with a fine cast and a good script by Matt Charman, who was badly treated by the BBC over Our Zoo last year. It was a sad farewell for Channel Four’s No Offence this week in what, along with the very different Wolf Hall, has been the best new UK drama series of the year. Series two, thank heavens,

was announced on Tuesday for this captivating cop show, which has balanced beautifully the key elements of comedy and drama. Four’s biggest audience hit of the year though has been Humans, all about robots (called Synths) interacting with us mere mortals. It didn’t sound like a grabber for me, but the first two episodes reeled me in straight in, especially with the almost eerie Synths who clearly are much more than robots. I knew it as soon as Chris Evans announced that he was stepping down from the One Show. It was nothing to do with his new duties with Top Gear, but fresh from a brilliant one-off, it was the fact that TFI Friday is coming back for a full run later in the year. Great stuff!

Motoring+

Friday 26th June 2015

Buy the Nautilus

The Star of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Captain Nemo’s sixwheeled Nautilus car from Sean Connery’s adventure movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

will be sold by international auctioneers Coys at their Blenheim Palace auction on July 11th. Designed by production

designer and art director Carol Spier and one of only two made, this fully functional and complete vehicle was used throughout the film and

features heavily on the promotional posters. Its twin was rigged with scaffolding for filming the actor’s closeups. Chris Routledge, Managing Partner of Coys, said: “We have a long tradition of selling film, television and celebrity cars, and having such a cool car from such a cool film is really exciting. We are offering an unrepeatable opportunity to acquire one of the cars that actually appeared in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and which will undoubtedly increase in value in years to come.”

The vehicle started life as a Land Rover fire tender, adapted via a steel frame with the addition of a Rover V8 engine. The chassis is covered in an intricate ivory coloured fibreglass shell and features a wealth of elaborate embellishments in an aged gold effect on both the exterior and interior. Inspiration for the decoration was taken from the Hindu god Ganesha and assorted flora and fauna. The interior is trimmed with faux leather and even features the original Land Rover dials. The wheels each measure 72cm and hidden within the arches are hydraulics to adjust the ride height. The car retains most of its original functionality and shows signs of wear and evidence

of running repairs from onset use. In spite of this wear, the car is in running condition. For the last few years, the car has been part of a large collection of movie props and costumes at Prop Store’s uk facility. It is estimated at £18,000 to £25,000. Stephen Lane, founder of Prop Store, said: “I bought the Nautilus from the film company after The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen came out because I loved the car, loved the design and felt it was one of the most emotive vehicles I have ever seen, a true design icon. I have taken it to Essen, driven it at the Lord Mayor’s Show and now feel it’s time to let somebody else own it and enjoy it.”

Motoring+

Friday 26th June 2015

A big Porsche with decent fuel economy? Porsche Panamera S E-hybrid has two engines – a petrol V6 and a powerful electric motor. If you turn left off the A66 at Brough and pick up the old twisting road that heads towards Sedbergh, you pass through the heart of the Howgills – a series of green, treeless mountains. It is breathtaking, unforgiving scenery. At the base of Cautley Spout, one of the deep rocky clefts that slices through the fells, we pulled up outside the Cross Keys. It’s been an inn for 400 years and looks as old as the hills that dwarf it. It does brilliant ham and eggs and an amazing rabbit pie. But it doesn’t do booze. It’s a temperance pub. We thought they were joking at first. I ordered a lemonade and my friend had a pint of milk, which seemed wrong on so many levels. But, as we had driven here in a car which itself is almost teetotal when it comes to the hard stuff, it sort of made sense. Porsche’s new Panamera S E-hybrid is a 410bhp supercharged V6 car. It can hit 62mph in a shade over five seconds and has a top speed of 168mph. It has barely there CO2 emissions

>> It can do up to 80mph using the electic motor of 71g per km – that’s about using only this for about 22 a third of what a Porsche miles. The electric propul911 pumps out – and will do sion is totally silent and this more than 90 miles to the adds to the sense that some gallon. It is, as my granny strange trickery is at work. used say, a real Frugal Turn the key – silence. Dougal. And, despite spend- Press the throttle – silence. ing a week with the It feels like you are slipping Panamera, I could never get on ice, rather than driving. over the whale-and-plankton Surely you shouldn’t have to fact that such a big car could check the dash’s ignition have such a tiny appetite. light to know whether your But there is no Derren engine is actually on. And Brown hoodoo here. This then the black arts really get hybrid Porsche has two underway – using this engines – the mighty V6 is stealth engine alone you paired with a 94bhp electric can drive at up to 84mph – motor. If you fully charge the in a Porsche with four seats, car’s 9.4kWh lithium-ion bat- in Benedictine silence. tery pack, you can drive You can charge the bat-

tery using a conventional domestic socket – we unwound the flex and plugged into the outdoor socket of the pub to top up over lunch. It would take eight hours to do this fully – which would be a long lunch with no booze. A fast charger, however, could do the job in just two hours and, while you drive using the petrol motor, the car tops up its batteries as best it can using its regenerative braking system. If you use the V6 alone you’ll only get about 30mpg – which is poor but not terrible for a supercar and the combined engines mean at

least you won’t suffer from range anxiety. All the extra gadgetry means the S E-Hybrid is at least 300kg heavier than a regular Panamera. That’s like having a baby elephant sitting in the passenger seat, all the time, and all that extra poundage makes the car feel sluggish and laboured at slow speeds. The faster you go the more secure and compelling the drive, like a boat hefting itself out of the water. Once at cruising speed, all that power matched with the active air suspension leads

to a ride as soothing as a Bing Crosby lullaby. Inside the Panamera is huge, your baby elephant could wriggle about in comfort on its individually adjustable seat. The car even has a boot – not something Porsches normally bother with. So, all in all, it’s a very clever car. But would it be a wise move to buy one? No, of course not. The V6 diesel version is 25 grand cheaper – you’ll need a lot of 8-hour lunches to save that – and being simpler has at least 25 things less to go wrong.

Motoring+

A Concept Car with taste For the first time in a long time, Lamborghini has prepared something genuinely unexpected for a motor show: a concept car with taste. This is the Lamborghini Asterion LPI 910-4, and it demonstrates the raging bull’s more ‘sensual’, caring and sharing side. That’s ‘demonstrates’ in the literal sense, as the firm claims this isn’t just some kind of static design concept. Instead it’s ‘a technological demonstrator representing a Lamborghini model that could be realistically produced today, using technologies currently available and drawing on Lamborghini’s own expertise.’ As such it sounds as much like a challenge to brand owners the Volkswagen Group as it does an effort to drum up new customers (while also making clear Porsche wasn’t involved in the process). In keeping with contemporary trends, the LPI 910-4 is a plug-in hybrid. And in keeping with Lamborghini naming con-

Friday 26th June 2015

vention it produces 910ps – that’s 898bhp. What’s in a name? Lamborghini Asterion LPI 910-4 power, performance and clever packaging The power is provided by a three electric motors and a 5.2-litre V10. That last part should be familiar as it’s the exact same 602bhp unit deployed by the Lamborghini Huracan LP610-4. The electric motors make up the remaining 296bhp, and together this very modern combo is capable of 0-62mph in 3.0 seconds. Top speed is 199mph. So, to further decode the name, LP – as it does with every Lamborghini – stands for ‘longitudinal posterior’, meaning the longitudinal mid-rear positioning of the conventional engine. The I stands for ‘ibrido’, Italian for hybrid. The 4 means it’s four-wheel drive, and we’ll come back to that. Asterion, aside from sounding stupidly cool, is apparently the ‘proper’ name for the mythical Minotaur, perhaps the ultimate hybrid. There must have been high-fives all

round when they came up with that one. Instead of using a conventional four-wheel drive system like other Lamborghinis, the Asterion drives the rear wheels with its V10 while two of the electric motors take care of the front wheels, adding torque vectoring into the bargain. The third motor is tucked away in the seven-speed dual clutch gearbox. The transaxle design of this positions it behind the engine, leaving what would usually be the transmission tunnel in a conventional four-wheel drive car free to provide storage for a lithium ion battery pack. Lamborghini says this solution is not only ideal for the balance of the car, it also provides the best crash protection for what can be a highly delicate (and combustible…) component. Silent running – the Lamborghini Asterion’s electric vehicle capability The Asterion’s batteries are no mere ploy to satisfy the CO2 reduction lobby – although they will certainly do that as well. Instead they give the car a 50km (31-

mile) electric only range – nearly triple what even the Porsche 918 is capable of achieving, the only other hybrid hypercar with any significant EV potential. Lamborghini claims 98mph is possible on electricity alone. Best not expect the batteries to carry you anywhere near to 31 miles at that velocity. The usual eccentricities of official fuel economy testing means the Asterion would homologate at a frankly ludicrous 67.3mpg. That’s equivalent to 98g/km CO2, therefore making it the world’s first road tax-exempt Lamborghini (in the UK). The weight of the hybrid drivetrain – some 250kg – is offset by the extensive use of carbonfibre. This includes the entire monocoque and the wheels, which are 20 inches in diameter at the front, 21 inches at the rear. Active cooling via part-titanium grids over the front air intakes further improves efficiency. Lamborghini Asterion: it’s a cruiser, not a bruiser It’s easy to think of the Asterion as Lamborghini’s answer to LaFerrari, McLaren P1 and Porsche 918, but the big bull is actu-

Lambo’s 897bhp Asterion plug-in hybrid combines V10 engine with three electric motors for emissions of 98g/km

ally pitching it as ‘a car comfortable for every day cruising rather than extreme performance and handling’. Someone go check for pulses over at Sant’Agata, stat. This entirely uncharacteristic approach strikes us as enjoyably refreshing, perhaps reflecting the somewhat polarised reaction to other recent Lamborghini concepts, namely the Veneno and Egoista. Although maybe it’s just because the marque knows it’s never going to get the green light for the car and just wanted to do something different. Either way, the cruisernot-a-bruiser ethos is evident in the ‘sensual’ design of the outside and the luxurious nature of the interior. For heaven’s sake, the Asterion’s even got conventional doors. On the inside there are just two seats. Several of the finest bovine specimens were obviously sacrificed for the cause, the leather contrasting with ‘forged carbonfibre’ and titanium detailing. The three-spoke steering wheel is an explicit reference to the Miura. Yes, Lamborghini is apparently skirting round that sacred,

uh, cow again. The buttons added to the wheel control the driving modes: Zero for electric running, I for Ibrido (ie: hybrid) and T for Termico (thermal, thus combustion) power. Designed in-house at Lamborghini Centro Stile, the Blue Elektra ‘glittered’ exterior also pays respectful homage to heritage – though we’re sure you’ll have your own opinions about these and other visual references. The differentiation between this and Lamborghini’s existing models deliberately points to the ‘technological concept behind the car’. At the rear the hexagonal glass of the transparent engine cover changes depending on the driving mode. Almost inevitably theses days, the in-car infotainment including satellite navigation and climate control is taken care of by a removable tablet. So what do you think? To our eyes it’s the most interesting thing Lamborghini has shown at a motor show in ages – but does the Asterion stray too far from the animalistic nature of this passionate Italian supercar brand? You decide.

Friday 26th June 2015

Motoring+

Friday 26th June 2015

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Food & Drink

Friday 26th June 2015

Sizzling Spanish Garlic Prawns - Tapas Style

Strawberry and banana ice cream

Enjoy Delicious Sizzling Prawns in the Sun

Desserts Fruit Kabobs with Coconut Yogurt Dip

Ingredients 1 1/2 c low-fat vanilla yogurt 1 1/2 T flaked coconut 1 1/2 T reduced-sugar orange marmalade various fruits: melon, pineapple, apples, pears, blackberries, strawberries, kiwis, etc. Directions Combine the yogurt, coconut and marmalade; cover and chill. Thread fruits alternately onto 20 (6-inch) wooden skewers. Serve with coconut dip on the side. Serves 20: 1 skewer with 1 tablespoon of yogurt Mini Frozen Key Lime Desserts Ingredients 2 (6 oz each) containers of lime yogurt, 1 (8 oz) container of cool whip lite, thawed 24 animal cracker cookies. Directions Combine yogurt and cool whip until thoroughly combined. Spoon yogurt combo into mini muffin tins. Put one animal cookie "handle" on each. Freeze. Enjoy. Makes 24 mini desserts Place the yogurt in a small bowl. Serving Size: 12 skewers; 1 per serving.

Sizzling Spanish seafood, perfect for a summer's evening or a tapas party. This simple, baked dish is one of our favourites, great with a glass of ice-cold Fino. You can serve these in the middle of the table - in a large, attractive earthenware dish or in individual bowls. Provide plenty of paper napkins for

fingers and faces!! Or, finger bowls with iced lemon water would be a nice idea. Tactile food at its best! INGREDIENTS 900g raw king prawns, peeled and butterflied, 3 tablespoons parsley, chopped, 1 teaspoon chili flakes (paprika) or 1 - 2 teaspoon, pimentos (smoked paprika), 4

tablespoons olive oil, 4 - 6 garlic cloves, thinly sliced, 4 - 6 tablespoons dry sherry, fino is good DIRECTIONS Heat the oven to 220C fan / 200C / gas 7. Preparing prawns: To butterfly the prawns simply slit the prawns lengthways but don't go all the way through and remove the vein.

Divide the prawns, garlic, chilli or pimenton, sherry and olive oil between 6 small ovenproof dishes or use 1 large one. Cook for 8 - 12 minutes, depending on the size of the dish or dishes, or until pink and sizzling. Sprinkle with the parsley and serve with crusty bread & lemon wedges.

This tasty ice-cream contains no added sugar, getting its sweetness from strawberries and vanilla. Equipment and preparation: for this recipe you will need a pre-chilled ice cream maker. Ingredients. 300ml/10fl oz double cream. 300ml/10fl oz whole milk, 1 vanilla pod, cut in half lengthways, seeds scraped out, 6 large free-range egg yolks, 500g/1lb 2oz ripe strawberries, hulled, halved. 1 medium-large very ripe banana. Preparation method Pour the cream and milk into a large saucepan and stir in the vanilla pod and seeds. Bring to the boil, then immediately turn off the heat. Whisk the egg yolks in a large bowl until pale then whisk in the cream and milk. When thoroughly combined, return the liquid to the saucepan and set over a

very low heat. Cook for about 5 minutes, stirring constantly, until the custard is just thick enough to coat the back of the spoon. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to make sure the mixture does not overheat otherwise the eggs will begin to scramble. Remove the pan from the heat, remove the vanilla pod and pour the custard into a clean bowl. Cover the surface with cling film to stop a skin forming, leave to cool. Put the strawberries and banana in a food processor and blend to a purĂŠe. Put the cooled custard and the purĂŠe into a prechilled ice cream maker. Churn until very thick (this could take over 30 minutes) then transfer to a freezer-proof container and freeze until solid. Remove from the freezer and leave to stand at room temperature for 510 minutes before serving.

Food & Drink

Friday 26th June 2015

Is wine good for you? Health benefits of drinking wine - a guide sorting out facts from wishful thinking. While excessive and binge drinking is best avoided, moderate drinking (1-2 units a day) can have some benefits for heart health. Sorting out fact from wishful thinking isn't easy. We look at the facts and find a little wine is probably fine - just don't overdo it. Facts and fallacies There's been a lot of talk lately about the risks and rewards that drinking wine has on your health. So what's true and what's not? In reality 'moderate' drinking (one or two units a day) does seem to protect against heart

disease - but primarily for men aged over 40 and postmenopausal women. There is little evidence that drinking wine or other alcohol will improve the health of younger people, who are less at risk of heart disease in the first place. According to the British Heart Foundation, drinking more than two units a day may be harmful. But before you go and pour your wine collection down the sink - relax. It really is true that wine - particularly red wine - does contain several antioxidants, such as quercetin and resveratrol, which may play a part in helping to prevent heart disease and cancer. To avoid significant risk to health women should drink no more than three units a day while men should have a maximum of four units a day. Raise your glass to red wine Scientists have found that red wines have higher levels of polyphenols, antioxidants and, in general, the darker the wine, the higher the antioxidant content - in tests, cabernet sauvignon grapes were shown to contain the most polyphenols. Professor Andrew of the Waterhouse, University of California, suggests that other red grape varieties with medium to high levels of antioxidants are merlot, zinfandel, syrah and petit syrah. Waterhouse also suggests that wines from milder regions such as Bordeaux, Burgundy, Rioja and California's Napa Valley, may have higher antioxidant lev-

els than wines from hot regions such as Languedoc in France and southern Italy. Some research suggests that white wine has health benefits too. Winemakers have created a chardonnay called Paradoxe Blanc, which is four times higher in polyphenols than red wine. Beware of binge drinking According to Alcohol Concern, at least one in four men and one in seven women drink more than the guidelines. This can make you more vulnerable to heart disorders, including high blood pressure and stroke, even if you are not in a highrisk group. For women in their twenties, drinking heavily can contribute to osteoporosis later on. Binge drinking is especially harmful and can damage the brain. Regular heavy drinking is associated with a wide range of other health problems from liver disease to loss of libido, menstrual problems, nerve and muscle damage, and psychiatric problems, including clinical depression, as well as increased risk of accidents. Alcohol is thought to be responsible for about three per cent of all cancer cases people who drink more than five units a day are more likely to develop cancer of the mouth, larynx or oesophagus. But Dr Morten Gronbaek from the Danish National Health Institute argues that moderate wine drinkers have fewer coronary diseases and cancers than those who prefer other alcoholic drinks.

Friday 26th June 2015

Contact@medb.es

DR MACHI MANNU

Scalp and Skin Problems in summer worse in the summer months. The diagnostic scans carried out at MedB clinic show that the hidden cause of many skin problems are microorganisms, especially herpes and papilloma viruses. Sometimes, there may also be underlying bacterial and fungal infections. Furthermore, people with skin problems will also suffer from a depressed immune system. A weak immune system may sometimes give rise to skin problems and other times, skin problems are made worse by a deteriorating immune system. Microbes such as viruses are notorious for lying dor-

mant in the body for a long time waiting for the immune system to become depressed, before they are activated. The antibiotic creams that are commonly prescribed for skin problems are not usually effective because antibiotics typically destroy bacteria and have no effect on viruses and other types of microbes. Antibiotics also suppress the immune system by destroying beneficial probiotics (healthy bacteria) in the gut system. Steroidal creams are also prescribed to lower inflammation in skin problems, but they have serious side effects and also worsen matters by thinning the skin and

Editor

Our health is usually better in the summer mainly because our bodies produce more vitamin, which strengthens our immune system. But the summer season is also known to exacerbate skin and scalp problems. Chronic scalp problems tend to occur in bald men and presents in different forms. Typically, scalp problems occur as red patches which may be flat or slightly raised. Sometimes the red patches are also seen on the shoulders, arms and other parts of the upper body. The lesions may also appear in the form of warts with yellowish crusts. These skin problem are normally

Health & Letters

letters

HONEST THANKS Last week on Tuesday June 16th, I lost my wallet at Zenia Boulevard. It contained all my bank cards, driving license, health cards, and a small amount of money. However, it was found by some kind soul and handed in to security personnel and I was able to collect from the Boulevard Information desk the following day. The contents of the wallet were fully intact. The money was of little importance but words cannot describe my relief at getting the other items back. The finder never left a name and address and this is the only way I can thank him/her for this considerable act of kindness and honesty. I would also like to thank the staff at the Boulevard for their help in this matter. GEORGE BERRY Calle Almanzor Villa Costa II

LIFE’S NOT A GAS I need some advice as we have had some horrendous gas bills from our new natural gas company. It seems that we have been automatically put on a holiday tariff, even though we are permanent residents, which has meant loads of problems trying to sort it all out. We asked our community president to e-mail residents and warn them, so they didn't have similar problems, but she refused saying it would be libellous! So can anybody help us with advice? It has cost us a lot of money and worry, so we need to warn others. Help! TRUDY MCDONALD EDITOR: - It seems strange that Trudy has not been able to get her tariff looked at, but her comments hardly fall under the classification of libel! Any Courier readers had any similar hassles, plus crucially any advice to pass on???

We want your views

Letters should be sent to letters@thecourier.es or via post to: Editor at The Courier C/Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja. Please include name, address, and work or home telephone numbers.

preventing wounds from healing properly. At MedB clinic we successfully treat skin disorders by targeting the root cause of the problem which may be a microbe such as a virus, or an allergic reaction. We have observed from our scans that when the skin problem is mild, the microbes are usually restricted to the skin and hair, but with more severe skin problems, the microbes are found deep inside the organs. In such cases the whole body has to be treated to completely eliminate the microbe. FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL 965071745, 966189074

Letter of the Week CARD FOUND I found an EHIC card belonging to a Charles Coll at Alicante-Elche Airport early last Sunday morning(June 20th), and it’s safe with me at the moment. If Mr.Coll reads this, then we can arrange for him to get it back! DENISE EDITOR: - Over to you Mr.Coll, as we have Denise’s details! Make contact with us firstly.

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Friday 26th June 2015

Horoscopes Aries March 21-April 20 With Jupiter, the Lord of Luck, on your side until mid-August, you should have the flair and confidence to bring about a major breakthrough in the weeks to come. The key to long-term success is being in the right place at the right time, so all you need to do is trust your instinct. You now have a sure-fire sense of what to say, and when.

Taurus April 21-May 21 Your private life and closest bonds come first in the month ahead, so do not spread yourself too thinly or let others make you feel you should be more outgoing. With such positive alignments in the heavens, you can deepen your existing ties and build a stable and secure basis for the future. Make extra time for an old friend later in the week.

Gemini May 22-June 21 A more sociable phase begins this week, so accept unexpected invitations and put ambitious plans on hold. New friendships that could make you feel quite differently about your situation, and about the future, are on the horizon. Someone you spend time with now could also help you solve a cash-flow problem or career dilemma.

Cancer June 22-July 23 Good luck is all around you, especially where financial and career matters are concerned, so be confident about how much you have to offer and concentrate on what you can achieve, short-term. With dynamic Mars i Cancer until early August, you also have energy and motivation, which means success is almost guaranteed.

Friday 26th June 2015 Leo July 24-August 23 With Uranus, the planet of creative growth and change, aligned with lucky Jupiter in Leo from now until mid-August, you should be on a winning streak in the weeks to come. It seems the only thing you can do wrong is hedge your bets, so go all out to make a certain dream come true and to reach your most ambitious goals.

Virgo August 24-September 23 Deep down, you may sense that long-term tensions are now easing and that unexpected avenues are opening out before you. If you trust your instinct, you can also overcome misunderstandings with a loved one and usher in a more relaxed, fulfilling era. Blue skies lie ahead, so let go of attitudes you have outgrown and focus on the future.

Libra September 24-October 23 With easygoing, lucky Jupiter beaming down on your close friendships in the weeks to come, you can deepen your existing ties and forge new and unexpected bonds with people who are on your wavelength. You can also solve a career or financial problem later in the week, so draw up constructive plans and put them into action then

Scorpio October 24-November 22 If you are flexible about your routine, you can take full advantage of the run of luck the stars have in store between now and mid-August. With Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, in your chartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s career zone, you are due to reap your just rewards for all the time and effort that you have invested in a current project. Aim high in the weeks to come.

Sagittarius November 23-December 21 Any doubts you may have had about a certain situation ease this week, when your ruler, Jupiter, is due to boost your confidence and help you see how simple it would be to make important changes. If you are flexible about the future and prepared to change your plans without much warning, you can leave recent problems in the past.

Capricorn December 22 - January 20 Positive, constructive changes in your home life or family situation are in the stars in the weeks to come. If you are prepared to give a little ground, you could also find that others will change course and fit in with your plans. Truthful Mars could also help you find the words to overcome a problem or misunderstanding with a friend or loved one.

Aquarius January 21 - February 19 Your love life is under lucky, easygoing stars from now until mid-August, so do not be afraid to bring up subjects that you may have been avoiding, or to break the ice with someone you would like to see much more of, this weekend. An unexpected sequence of events is also due to make you see how strong your hand is in a situation that preoccupies you.

Pisces February 20 - March 20 The planetary pattern in the weeks ahead is due to boost your confidence and put you in a very strong career position. If you take full advantage of the opportunities that come your way, you can revolutionise your prospects of success. A more adventurous, creative phase is also now beginning, so open up to change and do not plan too far ahead.

Classifieds

Friday 26th June 2015

FREE information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org. International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

AUCTIONS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

CARS Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party! Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 Car document transfers same day provisional certificate. No trafico visit require. Torrevieja based office. Call 966 923 963. Hiace white Toyota Power Van LWB. Good condition, well maintained, long MOT, RHD. Regularly serviced. 1000€. Tell 620 135 988.

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CHURCH SERVICES

Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self-employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning. They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further

CATERING

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Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

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SOLICITORS

Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel:- 664 838 581

REMOVALS Van leaving UK to Spain 2nd May. Returning Spain to UK 9th May. SPACE AVAILABLE. Tel 679 042 805 or 0044 (0)7552985343. Email keithmarion9@yahoo.co.uk

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TUITION & CHILDCARE I have 25 years experience in teaching primary children aged 4-10 years I am hard working, reliable and speak English. I am looking for childcare work or I can help your children with their homework. I live in Lomas de Campoamor close to La Zenia Boulevard so, if necessary I can collect the children from school, home etc. I am available for 3-4 hours each day, 7 days a week I have excellent references. For further information please email me ingaoskarsdottir@gmail.com

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Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with Spanish Wills, debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence, Spanish Wills. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

PERSONAL SERVICES Spanish lady in Playa Flamenca near Carrefour provides Erotic massage at her private house, discretion assured tel. 865 64 64 37

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Friday 26th June 2015

PLUMBER

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

WELDER

Ivie Davies on Golf

Friday 26th June 2015

KICK OUT THE BOO BOYS!

The behaviour of the American golf fans at the US Open at Chambers Bay was far better than that witnessed earlier in the month as Justin Rose saw his hopes of Memorial tournament glory at Muirfield Village, rudely interrupted by a local fan. Rose was the latest victim of the Yoo-EssAy brigade, whose regular vocal attempts to put off European players while they are in contention has reached a point where action must be taken. The Englishman had enough on his plate trying to keep his cool as he hit the back nine in the final round, very much in the hunt for victory. So to be subjected to an idiot shouting at the top of his backswing, which clearly put him off and cost him a shot at the 14th, was an unacceptable extra pressure that ultimately cost him the title. Had he not bogeyed that hole and continued his round uninterrupted, he’d have finished a shot better off than David Lingmerth and not had to face the pressure of a play-off that he eventually lost on the third extra hole to the Swede. But in the wake of that shameless piece of bad sportsmanship came the most genuinely heart-warming moment in the play-off when Rose’s five-year-old son applauded Lingmerth for holing a courageous putt to keep himself in the play-

Jordan leads Young guns

off with his dad. That even a little boy can have a better grasp of etiquette and common decency should put these idiots to shame. Sadly that Muirfield Village incident was only the latest in an ever-increasing list where high-profile European Ryder Cup heroes have been subjected to abusive taunts from the stands. It’s not new for Rose, having had to shrug off a heckler while he shared the lead at the Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill in April. He was playing with Tiger Woods – a big enough distraction for most players – and lining up a 15-foot putt birdie putt when a voice from the gallery screamed: “It goes right, it goes right”. Rose allowed the advice to invade his mindset and instead of aiming right lip he

aimed for the centre. He said: “So I hit a great putt which is in the middle with four feet to go, before it suddenly goes left of the hole. It’s one of those annoying moments when someone plants a seed in your brain. It just got my back up a tiny bit. It was rowdy out there but it’s Bay Hill on a Friday afternoon. You have to expect that sort of stuff.” But why should you? Just because it’s commonplace for American galleries to act like ignorant drunken idiots, does that mean top pros should just have to put up with it? Sergio Garcia shouldn’t have to endure the kind of abuse he takes from the American crowds on a regular basis. At this year’s Players Championship, Garcia committed the heinous crime of being in contention for the title in direct competition to one of the home favourites, the popular Rickie Fowler. Nothing wrong with a bit of partisan support for your countryman – but when it spills over into actively trying to put his rivals off their game it becomes a disgraceful issue that undermines the entire event. At the time Garcia said: “It was probably about three or four times on every hole since the 10th hole.” The worst of the lot coming when he reached the 13th and a spectator shouted: “I don’t want you to hit the ball in the water. I want you to hit two balls in the f****** water”. Almost as staggering

was Garcia’s shrugged response when asked if this kind of abuse was an unusual situation: “When I get in contention? No, not really. Obviously some guys are there who don’t deserve to be here watching golf but that’s what it is.” That’s totally unacceptable! It’s time for the PGA to start sending a clear message of zero tolerance to the bigmouth idiots who threaten to ruin it for the rest. Curbing the sale of alcohol on the course is never going to be a realistic option – after all why should the vast majority of decent right-thinking fans suffer for the idiocy of the minority who ruin it for the rest. So the only answer is to root them out and throw them out. No warnings, no second chances, immediate ejection. Granted that’s not so easy when many of the stewards at Tour events are locals volunteering their time for the week. They are not trained to be acting like bouncers facing down rowdy drunk fans. But with the amount of cash swilling around the PGA Tour, they can more than afford to employ trained security staff that are capable of following high profile “at risk” groups – and dealing with the idiots accordingly. It’s time to send a clear decisive message – not only to the hecklers that they will not be tolerated but also to the players who must be reassured the Tour is serious about protecting them and the integrity of their sport.

Congratulations to Jordan Spieth for his US Open win on the somewhat curious greens of Chambers Bay, after Dustin Johnson blew it by three-putting at the eighteenth. But it’s a massive plus for the young guns of the game, with the 21-year-old winning 2015's first two majors, with his victory on Sunday coming after his Masters win in April. Rory McIlroy, 26, holds the other two major titles, the Open and US PGA Championship, with Rickie Fowler, 26, the Players Championship champion. "It's awesome that the game is in young hands," said Spieth. "It's kind of cool I think to have two players holding the four majors and Rickie having the fifth [Players Championship]." Spieth's victories this year are his first in the majors and match the achievement of McIlroy in winning back-to-back titles after the Northern Irishman's victories in the Open at Hoylake in July 2014 and in the US PGA at Valhalla the following month. Spieth is ranked second in the world, behind McIlroy, but the well-spoken and generous

American downplayed suggestions of a rivalry between the two. "I don't think there is much of a rivalry. I've said that from the beginning," stated Spieth. "Rory has four majors and dozens of wins and I'm just starting out. "Again, I'm certainly quite a bit younger than he is. I'm just happy to have this and to be chasing that number one spot that he holds. So I'm certainly focused on that." It means Spieth is now the sixth player to win the Masters and US Open in the same year, the youngest player to win the latter since Bobby Jones in 1923, and keeps him on course to potentially become the first player to win all four majors in a calendar year. The next major is The Open at St Andrews on 16-19 July, followed by the US PGA Championship in Wisconsin on 13-16 August. Tiger Woods came the closest to achieving the feat when he won all four major titles consecutively, but over two calendar years in 2000 and 2001. You can’t say that Spieth hasn’t got a shot at all four in the form that he’s showing at the moment!

TITTER ON THE TEE KNOW YOUR RULES

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper and threatening manner. The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet? The woman answers: "Well Doctor Cameron, I do not know what to do. Every time ma hubbie comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me around." The Doctor says: "Aye, well... I have a real good cure for that. When your husband arrives home intoxicated, just take a wee glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he goes to bed and is sound asleep." Two weeks later she comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. She says: "Doctor that was brilliant! Every time my hubbie came home drunk, I swished with water. I swished an' swished, and he didn’t touch me even once! Tell me Doc...what's the secret? How does the water do that?" The Doctor says: "Janet, it's really no big secret. The water does bu--er all - it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."

QUESTION

A player holes a short putt in the monthly medal and removes the ball from the hole while it was still rolling around the bottom of the hole. As the definition of 'holed' is “...when it is at rest within the circumference of the hole...”, which of the following is correct? (a) The player incurs a penalty of one stroke (b) The player incurs a penalty of two strokes (c) The ball is holed. The reference to the ball being at rest is to make it clear that if the ball. falls below the lip and thereafter bounces out, it is not holed under stroke and distance - Rule 27-1, Rule 26-1 & Decision 26-1/7 (b) He may drop the ball in the bunker as near as possible to where the ball lay, but not nearer the hole that affords maximum available relief from the casual water - Rule 25-1.

ANSWER (c) The ball is holed. The reference to the ball being at rest is to make it clear that if the ball falls below the lip and thereafter bounces out, it is not holed.

The Courier Sport

Friday 26th June 2015

HULL OF A FRIENDLY

CD Torrevieja have confirmed the re-signing of a number of fan favourites for the start of next season, plus two pre-season friendly fixtures including a match against relegated Premier League side, Hull City. Córdoba will be the first team to test the new look squad when they come to the Vicente Garcia stadium on Saturday July 18th, whilst Steve Bruce’s Hull City will be the visitors on Friday July 24th. Other matches are currently in the process of being arranged. Meanwhile, six players from last season have agreed to return, including Oscar, Vicente, Jorge, Burguillos and Carrasco, but UK trialists are expected to be looked over with pre-season training getting underway on Monday July 13th. In terms of fund-raising, CD Torrevieja has launched the 200 Club in a bid to get a local company on the front of their shirts for just 200 euros. Every company buying an entry gets two season tickets, which they can use or raffle off in their premises to recoup their outlay, as well as giving

themselves a chance to get their shirts emblazoned with their logo. Everybody who’s bought into the club will get a chance to witness the shirt draw in front of the local media, and as well as having their name and logo on both the home and away strips, the lucky winning company will enjoy a free full page ad in every edition of the club's match day programme and be featured heavily in the club's webpage and Facebook postings. The club is hopeful that lots of bars and restaurants in the area will get involved in the 200 club, and they might even be able to raffle off the season tickets on busy weekend nights to their customers and holidaymakers! CD Torrevieja is also out and about selling advertising boards to local companies who want to advertise within the perimeter of the Vicente Garcia at a cost of 300 euros, but it only costs 20 euros to support the club by buying an ad on their pre-match publicity posters, two thousand of which will be displayed in all kinds of venues throughout

the next 11 months. The Torry Shop which offers club merchandise has been revamped and will be open at the entrance to the Tribuna area this coming season for fans and holidaymakers to

buy shirts, hats, scarves, mugs and various club memorabilia. It is also planned to reinstate hospitality packages for sponsors within the Directors Lounge, allowing guests to

enjoy a drink and snack before the match and during the half time interval. The plan is also to have the players and their families there to relax and enjoy some postmatch refreshments. The

club is after a sponsor for this facility who would have the lounge featuring their name and logo, as well as enjoying a ground advertising board and VIP season tickets for themselves and guests.

Pie and peas and Lancashire hot pot are off the menu for the La Liga outfit Real Sociedad despite boss David Moyes pencilling in a pre-season friendly fixture against his former club Preston North End, writes Andrew Atkinson. And instead of tasting Lancashire delicacies - such as pie and mushy peas Real Sociedad players will have to do with a Chinese takeaway! Newly promoted Championship side Preston North End are looking to add another friendly to their pre-season schedule at Deepdale in July - with Real Sociedad now heading to China for a tour. Moyes, who still owns a multi-million

pound Mansion in Hoghton, Preston, was in charge at Deepdale during 19982002. He moved to Preston in 1993, from Scottish club Hamilton Academical, and became player manager at The Lilywhites, making 143 appearances for the club. In the 1998-99 season Moyes guided Preston to the second division title. And in 2001 Moyes took Preston to the Championship play off final losing 3–0 against Bolton thwarting him of Premier League status. Despite Moyes signing a new fiveyear contract with the club. he left Deepdale in a move to Everton in 2002. He was appointed Manchester United manager in 2013 replacing Sir Alex Ferguson,

and moved to Real Sociedad last November, after being sacked at Old Trafford exit. Moyes has retained close-roots with his beloved Preston North End, and was at Wembley Stadium last month to watch The Lilywhites' in their League One play-off final 4-0 win against Swindon Town. "I had plenty of opportunities before I went to Spain to stay in England, and I had made a decision that I would go and work in Spain," said Moyes. "I wanted to try something different, wanted to try new culture, work with different players and see how La Liga works. I'm really enjoying it. It's a great club, I've had great fun as well."

FORMENTERA NO REAL TASTE! SEVENS

Eight men’s teams are taking part in this weekend’s fourth staging of the Formentera del Segura Seven’s at the Polideportivo Formentera del Segura,

starting tomorrow morning (Saturday June 27th) at 10.00am. The tournament will be split into two leagues featuring teams from the newly formed Costa

Cobras, as well as the Torrevieja Tigers, San Javier Squalos, Lorca, Elche, Villena, and Los Zorros. Ladies teams will also be playing as well.

FIRED UP

Chris Froome has told of his fierce hunger to win the Tour de France again. The Team Sky leader and 2013 winner is one of this year’s favourites for the crown, despite crashing out of last year’s race, breaking his wrist and hand in the process. Speaking in Monaco as he prepares for the first stage, which begins on Saturday, July 4, Froome said he is “on a mission” given the disaster of 2014.

“That incident, for me, is when the beginning of this year’s Tour began,” he told Sky Sports News HQ. “I got home, turned on the

TV and saw my team-mates still racing and I had that burning hunger to get back in this year’s competition in the best condition possible.

Friday 26th June 2015

The Courier Sport

FRAN QUITS ELCHE

Elche’s manager, Fran Escriba, has left the club having reached a deal with the Ilicitanos to rescind his contract which was due to run until 2017. He’s almost certain to take over at Getafe having received an offer to manage the club. Escriba would have had to pay one million euros to break his contract if Elche were in La Liga and 100 thousand euros if they were in La Segunda, but as the debt the club has with him is superior (five months without pay this season, plus bonuses still owing) they have not offered up to much resistance. Escriba arrived at Elche in 2012 and in his first season he led them into La Liga as La Segunda champions, breaking various club records. In his second season, he kept them in Spain's top flight. Last season, despite economic restrictions and instability, he once again kept them among the elite, securing safety with

three weeks to go. Under his management, Elche's last season away from home was the best in their 21 years in the top flight. On top of that, he leaves the club as the manager to have taken charge of the second most games at the club (76), only topped by Otto Bumble, who managed the side in the 1960s. Getafe reportedly reached a verbal agreement with Escribá to take over their coaching position left vacant following the club’s decision to relieve interim manager Pablo Franco of his duties. Getafe are awaiting to make certain they will not be relegated due to outstanding debts, much the same as Elche were, before they make the agreement official. Once Getafe have settled their issues and are out of threat of administrative relegation, they will then make the announcement official and begin preparing their squad for next season.

BYE BYE DAMIAN

Damián Suárez has reached an agreement to end his contract with Elche

and will become the first signing for Getafe this summer, linking up again with

likely new boss Fran Escriba. Besides almost certainly securing Escriba, Getafe have also reached an agreement to sign the Ilicitanos most consistent player but the signing will not be made official until Elche’s future is finally decided in the courts. The 27-year-old Uruguayan right-back made 34 appearances for Elche last season. Meanwhile, Elche’s problems get from bad to worse, with a fresh ruling from La Liga (the LFP), that they’ve barred the club from signing any players next season due to the club’s contractual irregularities.

HUNGRY FOR THE TOP

ANGEL TO WING SOUTH?

Barcelona have reportedly reached out to the agent of Manchester United winger Angel Di Maria over a possible move to the Camp Nou next season. Di Maria is keen to leave Old Trafford and would love to make his way back to La Liga and Barcelona have made first contact to determine if the Argentine international would be open to a move. Di Maria is said to be determined to leave Manchester United after an underwhelming first season

and the player and his agent are said to be feeling positive about a possible move to Catalunya.

While the United manager Louis Van Gaal is believed to agree to the sale of the former Real Madrid winger.

Real Madrid’s reserve team boss Zinedine Zidane has admitted that he would’ve gladly accepted the first team position if he had been offered it, after the sacking of Carlo Ancelotti. Zidane was Ancelotti’s assistant for the Italian’s first year with the club, where he helped guide the team to their long-awaited ‘Decima’ Champions League title before accepting the position of Real

Madrid Castilla manager. “Yes, I would have accepted being Ancelotti’s successor. I’m a professional and I’m never going to turn down a challenge,” said the Frenchman. However, Zidane is content to continue growing as a manager with the reserve side while Rafa Benitez takes the reigns. “I’m not disappointed. I believe it wasn’t the time. “There’s no comparison

between the head coach and assistant. The head coach is the one responsible. Everything passes through you, you take all the decisions,” added Zidane. “To be a coach means to be alone. When you’re the assistant coach, you can give advice and offer a different point of view, but you can’t compare. The responsibility is always the head coach’s.”

John McGregor on Sport

Friday 26th June 2015

CHARACTER SKETCH

I was sad to read the other day that Stan Bowles has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Stan who?’ you might ask, if you’re under 40. That question is truly ironic, with the sad memory problems associated with such diseases. But being ancient - oh, I remember Stan Bowles… Recently voted QPR’s most popular player ever, 66 year-old Stanley Bowles was one of the great characters of English football in a long career of q u i r k y genius that carried h i m through 5 6 5 games between 1967 and 1984. From starting at Manchester City Stan travelled via Bury, Crewe, Carlisle, had nine great years at Queens Park Rangers, then onto Nottingham Forest and then finally to Leyton Orient and Brentford. Stan’s skill a n d

artistry were admired everywhere he went. Though not especially known as a playboy with the women, Stan was more a spikey comedian, a joker, an inveterate gambler who came from the betting shop to regularly turn up for top games ten minutes before the kick off - and then went on to perform brilliantly. At half time, Stan

would take far more interest in the immediate horse racing results he’d missed than on his own team’s performance, or any other team’s results h e

hadn’t bet on. His antics were legendary: in the days when the FA Cup m e a n t

more it does now, the Cup used to be paraded whenever and wherever by the winners. In 1 9 7 3 Sunderland had amazingly and unexpectedly just won the Cup against mighty Leeds a t We m b l e y and for their final h o m e game had proudly placed the Cup on a table by t h e pitch, before t h e match against QPR. For a bet (of course) Stan dribb l e d across the field from one side to the other before irreverently belting the ball straight at the Cup, successfully knocking it off its perch. The faithful fans at Roker Park went berserk: "We had a bet to see if anyone could hit the Cup," Bowles recalls, ‘I did, even denting the bloody thing. We won 3-0, I scored two goals. It was the headlines on News At Ten… they had a riot in Sunderland…. they don't get many of them." T h e longest lasting Loftus Road legend was a highly gifted but outspoken footballer who played

in the George Best era, indeed the Irishman was his idol. "As a footballer, there's nobody to touch George, greatest player I ever saw by a mile. Rooney's a good player, but he hasn't got it all like George had. And George was a good-looking kid. Poor Wayne's got a face only a mother could love.” Stanley Bowles’ life eventually became one long rollercoaster ride from football pitch to gambling club, casino to greyhound track – and often pub to police cell. A former manager famously said of Stan: "If he could pass a betting shop like he could pass a ball, he wouldn't have had a problem." As Bowles admits in his 1996 book named ‘The A u t o b i o g r a p h y ’ : "Everywhere I went things seemed to end in chaos" – except, it seemed on the football field. Like many players touched by genius, it was only with a ball at his feet that he appeared totally focussed. His was the

kind of charmed and colourful existence that led Terry Venables to remark recently that Bowles was more crackers than Gazza - and Bowles still doesn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. There were only five appearances for England, a pathetically poor return for such a talented player. "I walked out on England," Bowles says without a trace of regret, after arguing with manager Joe Mercer. Bowles saw this as a legacy of the bad blood between the two when Mercer and Malcolm Allison were both in charge of Manchester City. "I just got the hump. I do things on instinct. I walked out on the European Cup with Brian Clough as well. I woulda got a medal. Woulda got twenty grand for that now ... John Robertson, he was my best friend at Forest, Clough left me out of his testimonial. It sounds stupid, but to me it wasn't."

sentimental," he says. "I didn't know I'd played football for 17 years until a statistician at QPR said it. I only watch it on the telly if I've had a bet. Some players miss it. Not me. I mean, Dave Clement, from QPR committed suicide because he couldn't handle coming out of football. He was a good friend of mine, a lovely fella." With all those fabulous memories and anecdotes it is today truly tragic that Stan’s mind is failing him. His family have respectfully asked that people do not approach Stan for autographs or similar requests: how sad… Last week I was having a pop at the behaviour of current Jack-the-lads Wilshere and Grealish, not to mention (£50m to Man City?) Raheem Sterling. My theme was that these young men are unprofessional in today’s football, getting involved in unsavoury off-field incidents they were caught doing. But when I think about

For all the controversy, Bowles loved those times. He doesn't see his modern equivalent. "There's some brilliant players, don't get me wrong, but no characters. They can't relate to the fans any more. I'm not

it, perhaps I’m being harsh – has anything really changed? All footballers are human: but in 40 years’ time, will those young players of today be remembered with the same awe reserved for characters like Stan Bowles?

Friday 26th June 2015

SOUTHGATE PRESSURE SERGIO SET FOR EXIT Gareth Southgate insists he won't quit as England Under 21s boss, but admits the decision is out of his hands, after England Under-21s' European Championship campaign came to a dismal end as they lost 3-1 to Italy at the Ander stadium in the Czech Republic.

Manchester United have lodged an opening bid for Sergio Ramos and the Real Madrid defender has asked his club to consider it. United's written offer is understood to be around £35million and came as Ramos met with Real Madrid officials on Wednesday morning and reaffirmed his decision to leave the club.

RODGERS REVVING UP! NEW SIGNING ROBERTO FIRMINO

After their Balow par season Liverpool are splashing the cash all around and this week have made their fifth close season signing, 23 year old Brazilian Roberto Firmino from German club 1899 Hoffenheim. £29m ‘Firmino’ is set to become Liverpool's second most expensive signing ever after Andy Carroll, now with West Ham. The Brazilian, who has scored 49 times in 153 appearances in the Bundesligia for eighth-placed Hoffenheim was on target for his country in their 2-1 Copa America victory over Venezuela on Sunday. In the absence of Neymar who has been suspended for the rest of the tournament, Firmino and Philippe Coutinho, who is already a Liverpool player are set to start again for Brazil in Saturday's quarter final against Paraguay. Liverpool have also signed highly rated 18 year-old Charlton defender Joe Gomez for £3.5, this coming hard on the heels of recruiting midfielder James Milner from Man City, striker Danny Ings from Burnley and Hungarian goalkeeper Adam Bogdan from Bolton. Gomez is an under 19 International with a big future and has agreed a five-year deal with the Premier League club. But the Reds have so far resisted two offers from Man City for England forward Raheem Sterling. Surely not another Luis Suarez saga in the making at Anfield – one pricey one out, five in for the same money - and more mediocrity - the fans won’t Kop that again… Have you wondered why, if FIFA is

based in Switzerland, and ‘saccar’ is not exactly an all-American sport then why were the heavy-handed honchos of the American Police Force on an allexpenses-paid trip to Europe to arrest key members of FIFA in Zurich? After all, most Americans don’t even watch the beautiful game - but U.S. officials claim they have the jurisdiction to pursue corruption charges against some of the game’s top officials wherever. Have they? Try this for size from New York attorney Kelly Currie: “This is a global investigation, and we live in a global marketplace: The world is not insular to a particular country any longer. And so, virtually any international business transaction crosses borders, and this is really no different.” Oh, really - does that mean ‘American’ law can be practiced and exported anywhere in the world? Is it any wonder America is detested in some parts of the world - some who might even be hosting the next World Cup – and the Yanks just don’t get it, do they? The U.S. Justice Department announced the charges—including racketeering and bribery— displaying a 47-count indictment as well as several earlier guilty pleas. U.S. authorities said that nine FIFA officials and five sports media and promotions executives face corruption charges involving more than $150 million in bribes. Note the dollars – not euros, or pounds – the American Greenback is the self-styled world currency. But American authorities say they are

not simply acting as world police— despite the global nature of the alleged crimes. The ‘criminals’ are being extradited to the Good Ol’ US of A because, says Currie "This racketeering enterprise impacted the United States in a number of ways." The name that keeps cropping up is Jack Warner, a man under deep suspicion of financial wrongdoing. The U.S. inquiry focuses on the Confederation of North, Central America and Caribbean Association Football, whose Trinidadian former boss Warner was regularly dogged by accusations of corruption before he resigned in 2011. Also the FBI are claiming that many of the people who were charged in the indictment either resided in the United States during some of the relevant period, or they conducted meetings regarding their supposed schemes in the United States. Fortunately, or conveniently the Swiss Federal Office of Justice agreed with Currie's statements, where the U.S. request for extradition alleges that "these crimes were agreed and prepared in the U.S., and payments were carried out via U.S. banks.". In addition to the above, but alternately to the American offensive, a separate Swiss investigation has also been launched in relation to the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids – won by Russia and Qatar, respectively. The head of Fifa’s auditing and compliance committee, Domenico Scala, this month warned that Russia and Qatar could lose the right to host the the 2018 and 2022

World Cups IF evidence was found of corruption in the bidding process. From Russia without love? It’s fair to say that the hosts for the World Cup in three years’ time aren’t exactly happy with all these events and charges. Russia has reacted with characteristic fury over speculation that the corruption investigation into FIFA could cost it the right to host the World Cup in 2018. Of course, the country stands to lose a massive amount if it all goes wrong, not only involving money but a huge degree of prestige and respect in the eyes of a suspicious world towards a country with many secrets. Russian spokesmen were quick to say they would both co-operate with the investigations, while condemning them at the same time. Playing the political card the Russian Foreign Ministry said the arrests of officials appeared to be an illegal attempt by the U.S. to impose its laws on foreign states. Hmm… have the Russians got a good point there? Let’s hear it from the top: “Russia fought honestly for the right to host the 2018 World Cup and the decision should not be called into question. We fought in an honest manner... and we won. We do not think the decision should be questioned,” Russian Premier Vladimar Putin told journalists on the sidelines of an investment forum in Saint Petersburg. The president said “No evidence has been found of any corruption.” As Mandy Rice-Davis once famously said ‘Well, he would, wouldn’t he?’

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47