The Courier Edition 239 by TKO UK

Edition 239

www.thecourier.es Friday 18th September 2015

DOUBLE CONFESSION RIDDLE OF BRITS BRUTAL KILLING ALEXâ&#x20AC;&#x2C6;TRELINSKI

n argument appears to have sparked the double slaying of a British couple in Alicante Province last March, with a 63-year-old Moroccan man (initials of D.D) confessing before a DĂŠnia judge, Javier Reyes, last Saturday. David Tarsey and his wife Jean, both 77, were each killed with a single bullet to the head at their villa at Jalon and were discovered in each other's arms on their sofa. The killer covered their bodies, which were in an embrace, with a green raincoat and fled. The authorities said at the time that they appeared to have been shot with a small calibre weapon, with no sign of a break in. A television had been taken, whilst a laptop computer was discovered in the swimming pool. The Moroccan knew the Tarsleys

well and had done some gardening for them. He was also known locally as a sculptor and painter. He admitted that he shot Mr.Tarsley firstly in the neck, after having a row with him and then fired at Mrs.Tarsley in the face. No reason was given as to why D.D. apparently snapped and what the argument was over. The Moroccan appeared,

wearing a dark suit, shirt and tie, at a behind-closeddoors hearing in front of the judge in charge of the police investigation on Saturday morning. As part of the hearing, the suspect was taken to the couple's home with the judge, while handcuffed and escorted by two Guardia Civil officers. The authorities are said to have found a gun at the caravan where he had lived for many years and he was arrested there last Thursday (September 10th). David Tarsey competed as a diver for Great Britain at the Melbourne Summer Olympics in 1956 and for England at two Commonwealth Games. The couple had been living in Spain for about 20 years, but had been trying to sell their villa at the time of their deaths. They were discov-

ered by friends who had become concerned that they had not been seen for several days. A family friend said Mr Tarsey had befriended a Moroccan man who lived nearby in a caravan not long before the couple were murdered. "David stood up for the man when a local bar owner refused to serve him because he was from north Africa", the friend said. The friend added: "The bar owner tried to throw the guy out but David insisted he be allowed to stay. He bought the Moroccan guy a beer and insisted the bar owner serve him. Later the man went to the Tarseys' house and David paid him to do some work in the garden. But if it's the same man, why on earth would he kill David and Jean? It doesn't make any sense."

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News

Friday 18th September 2015

In The Spotlight

Mass Fakery

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Orihuela Mayor, Emilio Bascuñana says that the Orihuela Costa has had a fair crack of the whip from the newly elected authority during July and August, despite criticisms that some parts of the area have been badly served especially in regard to road cleaning and waste removal. Flanked by coastal councillor Sofia Alvarez (on the left) and cleaning / waste disposal councillor Noelia Grao, Bascuñana said that ten extra police officers were drafted into the area over the summer there were improved bus services;

improvements to some footpaths and better access to beaches. On the issue of rubbish disposal and the cleanliness of the area, Grao claimed that the authority had to work on tight budgets inherited from the previous administration with a loss of staff. She said that they had done everything possible to make sure that services had not been reduced to the public with more grass and garden cuttings removed up to end of July, compared to last year, and the number of beach cleaning patrols had also risen.

Bones Of Contention

Myra Torrevieja & North Tel. 618 583 765

Jean Orihuela Costa Tel. 618 898 034

Patrick

Writers Alex Trelinski Mark Nolan Jeanette Erath Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies Nicola Cross

after a raid at last Thursday’s (September 10th) market in Gran Alacant uncovered a thousand copies, mainly bags and sports gear being sold to unsuspecting customers. Seven people were arrested, with two Chinese nationals being

detained at the warehouse, whilst the other five (of Spanish, Moroccan and Senegalese nationalities) were collared at Gran Alacant. The favourite fakes were bags, with officers discovering 27 thousand of them in their raid at Carrus.

Tourists Keep On Coming

Sally Los Alcazares, Tel. 618 391 491

International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265

35 thousand counterfeit items with a market value of three million euro have been seized in a raid by the Guardia Civil on premises on the Carrus industrial estate in Elche. Officers were given a major lead that the unit was stocking and importing fake items

A sports diver thought he found some human bones off the coast of Torrevieja last Sunday lunchtime but they were just animal bones instead. The diver called the Guardia Civil to report that some remains plus some clothes had been discovered between

Cala de los Trabajadores and Cala de la Zorra (picture from the Informacion newspaper). The coroner went to the scene along with the Guardia, with the remains being taken away in a black bag, and he quickly ruled that the bones were non-human.

August 2015 will be remembered as being the busiest ever month for Spain’s airports, with Alicante-Elche also recording a record-best figure. Nationally, just over 24 million passengers used the flight facilities across the country, which is nearly five percent more than the same month last year, with the airport at El Altet showing a four percent annual rise, clocking 1.26 million travellers. Domestic flights helped fuel

the rises, whilst internationally, over 533 thousand UK travellers used AlicanteElche airport, followed by Germany with 85 thousand, and Norway with 68 thousand. Over seven point two million passengers have gone through Alicante-Elche this year, with last year’s best figure of ten million travellers certain to be broken. In contrast, passenger numbers are continuing to fall at San Javier airport, as nearly 156 thousand trav-

ellers used the facility in August which is a three point seven percent fall compared to August 2014, which in turn had recorded a big fall over the same month in 2013. Increased services from Alicante-Elche, and the ongoing uncertainty over the date of San Javier’s closure in favour of the still-empty facility at Corvera are contributory factors to the reductions with air operators like Jet2 transferring next year’s summer schedule to El Altet.

Butano Falls For Winter The price of a gas butano canister has fallen again, with a price drop of five percent this week, meaning that the cost is now 12.76

euro per unit, as opposed to 17.50 euro earlier this year, a drop of nearly 5 euro. Raw gas supplies are continuing to fall, and so a

further cut is expected come the next bi-monthly price review in midNovember, just in time for the winter season.

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News

Friday 18th September 2015

No Reformas

A conman who pretended that he could do house repairs and swindled at least 11 thousand euro out of unsuspecting clients over a two month period, has been arrested by the Guardia Civil at his home in Los Alcazares. A dozen in San Pedro del Pinatar, El Algar, and San Javier hired the services of the Spaniard, who claimed to be a builder and who advertised in leaflets that were distributed across the Mar Menor area. He merely pocketed any money handed over to him in good faith and did nothing, with the Guardia revealing that he had an existing criminal record for doing the same thing in the past. He'd go round

Powerful quake off Chile slams waves into coastal towns, fatalities reported.

customers to do an estimate for the work and then take a deposit for materials that he planned to buy, only to never appear again. His "com-

pany" never existed and authorities are continuing investigations in the expectation that other victims of the fraudster will come forward.

La Marina Pledge

Valencia’s Environment Minister, Elena Cebrián,

visited the La Marina pine forest area on Monday

along with Elche Mayor, Carlos Gonzalez and other local and regional officials. Gonzalez said that after the indifference of previous administrations, he was certain that the new regional government will act in making improvements to the area. Cebrián in turn promised that more people would be allocated to maintain the forest along with producing a cohesive rural development plan.

You’re Nicked! Rojales police have arrested two people who are suspected of being involved in a whole host of robberies across the area in recent weeks. The police made their collar last

Wrong Home

Friday lunchtime after they spotted a car that they thought was used by the Spanish couple in their alleged crimes. The vehicle had been involved earlier in an

A 23-year-old woman didn’t case the joint when she and her mates tried to rob an Alicante City apartment, because it just happened to be owned by a National Police officer who was inside it at the time with his son. The robber was at the door with two accomplices as they started picking the lock of the flat, with the noise attracting the attention of the officer. He looked at them through the peephole and identified himself as a policeman, leading them to

flee the scene. The chase was then on and the copper managed to grab the woman, as her friends trying to pull her free from his clutches. Her bad day was completed as her cohorts gave up on her and ran away whilst the officer managed to restrain her along with the help of a neighbour, who by sheer coincidence was a Guardia Civil officer. The incident happened in June, but details have only just been released, with the woman’s accomplices still on the run.

Bitter Lemon Taste A gang of lemon thieves have been caught red-handed (or perhaps lemon-handed) by the Guardia Civil in the San Miguel de Salinas area. The five-strong gang had come all the way from Almeria for what they thought would be some easy pickings but as they were driving away in two vans with two and a half thousand kilos

of the citrus fruit, they were greeting by the Guardia who promptly arrested them. All five men had criminal records for theft, with one local lemon grower based in Pilar de la Horadada reporting some ten tons of the fruit being stolen from several farms that he owned, including the big haul that was nabbed by the Guardia.

Turtles Ta Ra

incidents recently in the Valencia region, with Torrevieja, one of the worst places to be hit. Nationally 13 million euro are being allocated, though the CCS says that the number of claims nationally is massively lower than during some major flooding back in 2012, when more than 210 million euro of compensation was paid out.

Air France pilot reports "white object" in water near where missing Malaysia Airlines MH370 part found. Oscar Pistorius said he cannot afford a new trial over the death of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Flash flood kills at least 18 in Utah. A Chinese wife’s illicit lover spent the night stuck out on an apartment block’s narrow ledge after her husband arrived home unexpectedly. Oklahoma man's execution halted amid larger lethal injection debate. Denmark to contribute funds to EU effort with refugees. More than 2,000 enslaved Indonesian fishermen rescued in 6 months. Third death reported in California wildfires as rain gives crews break.

attempted robbery on an industrial estate with the man and woman (both aged in their thirties) being shipped off to the custody of the Guardia Civil in Almoradi.

Ban on gays donating blood lifted in Argentina. Mozambique declared free of mines.

Claim Time For Claims 283 claims on public insurance have been made in Alicante Province following the storms that first hit the region 12 days ago. The Ministry of Development has authorised the public insurance body, El Consorcio de Compensación de Seguros (CCS), to make available funds of up to four million euro to compensate those affected by some twelve hundred reported

Meteorologists have predicted that Britain will face its worst winter in over 50 years.

Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush wants Margaret Thatcher on $10 note. 25 young loggerhead turtles got their first taste of freedom on Monday having been brought up at the Oceanographic Institute in Valencia City. Hundreds of people gathered at Elche’s Carabassi beach to wit-

ness the start of their new life in the sea (picture from La Verdad newspaper), with experts saying that some of them may well return to the same spot in 20 or 30 years to lay their eggs.

Obese Texan Girl, 3, one of youngest ever with diabetes. Children thrown from windows to escape fire in China.

News

Friday 18th September 2015

Extra Body

Take Your Pick

Two Spaniards have been arrested for growing 150 marijuana plants in the middle of a vineyard in Pinoso. The local police got interested in the field when they smelt marijuana coming from the area, and so the two clandestine growers were tracked down and detained by the cops and the National Police from Elche.

Fast Buck

Spain’s mobile phone operators are looking to squeeze every last ounce of profit out of their customers before new European Union rules on mobile roaming charges will see them scrapped in 2017. Spain’s mobile operators are the only ones in Europe to put on an extra one-off charge for calls between European countries, and now Orange, Vodafone, Yoigo and Movistar are upping the tariff by 10 percent from 20 cents to 22 cents per call. It’s unclear whether the EU will enforce the ending of this charge in 2017.

Fast on the closure of Torrevieja's Teatro Municipal, the local council claim they’ve had to shut down the Virgen del Carmen cultural centre for not having a proper safety license, despite the building having opened a decade ago. Planning councillor Fanny Serrano of the socialist PSOE said that she hoped that the closure will only be temporary

and that everything will reopen once the necessary permits have been obtained. Serrano slammed the previous Partido Popular administration, like in the recent case of the Teatro Muncipal, for having put the safety of thousands of visitors at risk by not going through proper procedures. Ex-PP mayor, Eduardo Dolon in turn rubbished the recent closures by in turn claiming that were no safety concerns at all at the cultural centre and that it was all posturing and a smokescreen for the council's recent controversial decisions like reductions in school bus services. Meanwhile Dolon’s workload appears to be getting larger as he’s just been put in charge of the PP’s General Election campaign for Alicante Province, in addition to his Provincial council and Torrevieja council duties.

Low-Cost Boost

Airport Ghost Stirs

Ryanair have become the first operator to run scheduled services out of one of Spain’s infamous ghost airports, Castellón, with the first commercial flight into the north Valencian region airport since it opened four years ago. The first service last Tuesday morning flew in from Stansted, with Ryanair launching a

thrice weekly service, as well as a twice weekly service later in the year with Bristol. The aircraft and the virgin runway it landed on were “blessed” with water cannons, as crowds of workers cheered the arrival. Castellón airport was opened to much fanfare in March 2011, but despite a 30 million euro

publicity campaign, no airline operators were interested in flying there. The airport came to symbolise the huge amounts of money spent by the Spanish government on “white elephant” projects. Ryanair struck a deal to fly to and from the airport earlier this year. It’s hoped that other operators will follow.

Refugee Backing

No Worries A 60-year-old Costa Blanca man has been given the all-clear over contracting the chikungunya virus from a tiger mosquito, with medics admitting that the tests had shown up a "false positive". At the end of July, health chiefs reported that the man from Gandia had contracted chikungunya. Initial tests proved positive for the virus and the man had not travelled anywhere where the virus is known to appear before the incubation period. The assumption was that he had caught it at home, leading health departments to launch various protocols. A second sample was sent to Madrid, and returned a negative result.

Low-cost Spanish airline Vueling, who run an extensive service of flights out of Alicante-Elche airport, has announced big expansion plans for the 2016 summer season, with an extra 200 co-pilots set to be employed. Candidates will undergo a stringent recruitment process including tests on their general operational and aviation knowledge, a trial in a simulator, a face-to-face

Around 300 people took to the streets of Murcia City last Saturday, along with larger demonstrations in Madrid and Barcelona to pledge support for war refugees try-

ing to get to Europe, with the marchers proclaiming that 'no human being is illegal'. Politicians from left of centre parties joined trade unionists, charities, and humani-

tarian associations in the protests. They claim that Europe's stringent protection of its borders were merely aggravating the human crisis and putting refugees at risk.

Fake Concern

Refuse Task

Palmed Off Dead or dying palm trees are being removed by Elche council at Arenales del Sol and Carabassí beach. Some trees will be transferred elsewhere and replacement palms better suited to the seaside environment will be put in. A report published in 2012 suggested that the coastal trees should be removed as they were susceptible to the red weevil because of the dry conditions.

interview, a psycho-technical test and an English language test, and those chosen will undergo an intensive course before they start work. Vueling currently operates 366 routes between 160 destinations in Europe. Launched in Catalunya in 2007, the company later bought out its low-cost rival ClickAir and has been gradually expanding its routes ever since.

A team of around 30 British and other foreign residents on the Orihuela Costa are to team up with the local council from next week to deal with the vexed issue of refuse disposal and

cleaning in the area. The council and the residents will share information on which parts of the region needs urgent attention along with making sure that people know when the refuse and cleaning teams are coming to their street, to avoid a build up of rubbish. Coastal councillor, Sofia Alvazrez, has also launched a “Citizen Services” phone service, which will take complaints and ideas with an English or Spanish speaker at the end of the line. The council email is residentes@orihuela.es and the phone number 966 760 000. In addition, they are launching a Whatsapp service with the number 628 822 269.

Over six percent of sports goods that are sold around the European Union are fakes, and that's costing nearly three thousand jobs according to the Alicante-based EU body, the OHIM. Just weeks after

the police stopped a racket that was shipping in thousands of bogus football shirts into the area via Alicante-Elche airport, the OHIM says that the sale of fakes is most prominent in Spain and France. The

sports industry loses around 76 million euro a year in Spain alone says the body, with shirts, footballs, ski equipment, helmets, tennis rackets, and fitness gear all being counterfeited.

News

Friday 18th September 2015

Dutch Courage

A yacht trying to smuggle in a vast quantity of cannabis into Spain was so full of the drugs that it nearly sank, according to customs officials. Three Dutch nationals were arrested as the vessel was

intercepted some 92 kilometres off the coast of Almeria with 10 tonnes of the drug on it. "The drugs took up all the available space" aboard, including on the cabins' beds and floors, a

Happy Summer Pilar de la Horadada's Mayor, Ignacio Ramos, says that he's been very pleased with the way that things have gone during the busy summer season in the municipality. Ramos said that there had been no incidents on the local beaches, and the area had been bolstered by a high number of tourists.

Pretty Boy

A parrot has been seized by the Guardia Civil after it

was found in a car that had arrived at the port of Alicante on a ferry from Algeria. Importing the African Grey parrot, also known as a Jaco, is not illegal, but there was no documentation including details on the bird’s health, as the breed can transmit the deadly psittacosis disease to humans. It’s not known if the parrot had much to say on the matter as it was taken to the safekeeping of the Santa Faz wildlife sanctuary.

Possible Hassle Air-traffic controllers have named two strike days for the end of September and early October, which might delay flights to and from Spain. The industrial action will take place for 12 hours from 6.00 am on Saturday, September 26th, and then

again on Saturday October 3rd. The dispute is all over suspensions following strikes nearly five years ago, but in practice walkouts earlier in the summer had a minimal effect on services, despite some hysterical reporting in British tabloids of “holiday misery”.

finance ministry spokesman said. The three Dutch crew members, two men and a woman, have been charged with smuggling and endangering public health.

Better Link Drivers in the San Javier area are being promised improved access to the key RM-19 and AP-7 main roadway routes. Murcia’s regional Public Works minister, Francisco Bernabé, made the promise at a recent meeting with San Javier Mayor, José Miguel Luengo. Bernabé said that substantial improvements will be made to the key Pozo Aledo roundabout to make life easier and quicker for motorists, adding that the work will not be started yet but will be completed in 2016.

Sad Statistic Abandoned pets were saved every five minutes in Spain last year, according to the Affinity Foundation study, with over 140 thousand dogs and cats being taken in by the country's many animal charities. One organisation though believes the real abandonment figure is actually substantially greater. "The reality is far worse and is at least 30% greater than the survey suggests" said Maria Costuya from the National Association of Animal Friends.

High Street Success Half-year profits at Inditex, the owner of fashion chain Zara, have risen by more than a quarter thanks to a revival on Spanish high streets. Net profits at the Spanish group, the world's largest clothes retailer, were €1.16bn between February and July, up 26% from a year earlier. Like-for-like sales, which strip out the impact of new stores, rose 7%. Warm weather across Europe - where Inditex has two thirds of its sales - also helped to boost trade. Inditex, which also owns Pull & Bear, Massimo Dutti, and Bershka, added 94 new outlets around the world in the first half of the year, most of them under the Zara and Zara Home brands. Over the last 12 months Inditex says it has created 12,000 new jobs, 2,532 of them in Spain.

Shine On

Porn Swoop

128 street lights alongside the N-332 highway through San Pedro del Pinatar have been replaced with energy saving bulbs. 106 thousand euro project will lead to a 60 percent drop in power consumption.

A man from Elda in Alicante Province has been arrested by the Guardia Civil for possessing more than three thousand indecent images and videos of children on his computer. The 54-year-old Spaniard was netted as part of a wider operation investigating the distribution of indecent images with members of the group using internet chat rooms to distribute the offensive material.

Costly Fool

Police have caught a hoax caller in Santa Pola who phoned the emergency services last week with news of a fire on Calle Mariano Benlliure in Elche. No blaze was there but the prankster was tracked down, with the authorities expected to have the last laugh, as the hoaxer may well have to pay for all the costs of mobilising teams to go to the non-existent fire.

Big Figures

The Valencian regional government is in debt to the tune of 40 million euro according to latest figures reflecting the second quarter of 2015. Only the northeastern region of Catalunya is higher at 60 million, whilst the much smaller Murcia region is over seven million euro in the red.

Back On Track

Easy Does It

Low-cost air-carrier Easyjet says that business is booming and has predicted that profits for this year will go up by 10 percent on last year’s figures, which is even larger than had been forecast earlier in 2015. The carrier, which uses Alicante-Elche airport, also says it carried over seven million passengers across all of its services last month, with Spanish and Portuguese flights being close to 95 percent full, which is a record for the company.

What Am I Bid?

Murcia’s still-to- beused Corvera Airport is worth 171 million euro according to an independent assessment carried out for the regional government, ahead of tendering early next year for a new management compa-

ny to replace the previous operator Aeromur, whose contract with the government was torn up in December last year. Over 4,900 items were put onto the inventory, with just under half being classified as furniture, as

well as the building, the runway, cargo terminal, and control tower. The long-running saga seems unlikely on past form to see the imminent closure of San Javier airport much before the end of 2016 at the earliest.

Child Dies A series of one-day train strikes has been called off by rail workers union, Semaf, after reaching a deal with rail bosses. A new phased retirement plan for staff will be introduced and train company, Renfe, have pledged

to hire new staff members. Bosses have also pledged other improvements, which led to the union scrapping industrial action planned for the rest of the month, as well as two day strike in midNovember.

Gunpowder Plot

Costly Clean

Rojales council have had to spend 8 thousand euro on urgent work at the ailing Príncipe de España school even though the bulldozers will be going in within months to clear the way for a new 5 million euro building. Clearing out the septic tanks as well as building and electrical work had to be done in time for the start of the school year. The council are still waiting for Valencia to give the date that construction on the new premises will start.

News

Friday 18th September 2015

A nine-year-old girl died on Mallorca last Friday afternoon after being caught in the propellers of a boat while on a family holiday. The child was pulled from the water with

serious head injuries but was pronounced dead a short time later. The tragedy happened in the resort of La Rapita in the south east of the island. A lifeguard at the nearby La

Rapita yacht club battled to save the youngster and pulled her from the water before medics arrived. Despite the efforts of paramedics the girl died a short time later.

Quick Trip The Guardia Civil uncovered a veritable arsenal of weapons when they arrested a 79-year-old Spaniard for domestic violence and threatening to kill his wife at their San Pedro del Pinatar home. The Guardia house search uncovered over 50 knives; two kilos of gunpowder; five guns; plus

thousands of gun cartridges and empty casings in addition to weighing scales presumably for the gunpowder. Virtually everything bar two of the guns had no licenses and the elderly shootist is now being investigated by a San Javier judge on violence and illegal possession charges.

Vulture Worry

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy's government has

been attacked for using what animal activists call a "killer drug" that could wipe out the vulture. BirdLife International, the International Fund for Animal Welfare and the Vulture Conservation Foundation said the use of anti-inflammatory diclofenac drug among livestock has led to the death of millions of vultures across the world. The lobby groups accused Spain and other European countries of putting 'the ambitions of pharmaceutical companies ahead of the environment'.

A car thief lost control of his stolen vehicle but escaped with no injuries, but only into the clutches of the police in the Torre

Pacheco area last Saturday. The thief was whizzing through at speed through the village of El Jimenado, when the car

overturned, but he walked out unscathed to face an even greater problem, courtesy of the Guardia Civil and local police.

On Hold Planned improvements to Torrevieja’s Eras de la Sal area have been delayed by the council, with the initial feasibility planning costing the previous Partido Popular administration 20

thousand euro. The new authority wants to see changes to what has been proposed, with the project having been designed to extend the seafront promenade from the Vista Alegre

to the Paseo del Maestro Velero, linking up to the Eras de la Sal Bridge. A variety of plans and proposals for the area have been put forward and rejected over the years.

Dave Silver

Friday 18th September 2015

We Three Kings... Better Make That Two! 'I've just had a thought,' commented Daft Barry in the pub the other evening. In any social gathering there is usually one arch wit who sacrifices good taste on the altar of cheap humour -- and our hostelry is no exception. The wag in our group reacted immediately to Daft Barry's innocent and sincere remark by yelling to Fag Ash Bill who, as usual, was outside chain-smoking on the pavement: 'Best keep those pub doors closed, Bill! Daft Barry has had a thought and we don't want it to escape!' An immediate hush descended on the inn as the entire clientele went into shared shock at the indelicate statement made by the coarse jokester. 'You should be ashamed of yourself!' snapped our group leader Andromeda Arkwright as the perpetrator hung his head in guilt. 'Barry might not be the most deep-thinking member of our group but that is no reason to insult the poor lad.' 'I am so sorry,' I whimpered in grovelling misery. 'I just didn't think it through before I made that stupid remark. I meant no harm, honestly. I love Daft Barry to bits. It's just that I cannot help uttering childish comments in any situation. 'For instance, my first

proper job when I left school was as a bank cashier. A customer approached my window and asked for a personal statement. I told him: "My name is David and I work in a bank." 'I'm afraid silliness is in my nature. But I beg you all to do what the bank manager didn't do and grant me forgiveness.' My pubster peers put their heads together to discuss my plea for clemency and then announced their decision: 'No forgiveness. We are sending you into exile forthwith.' And everybody applauded. There was, however, one dissenter. Andromeda Arkwright, using her hand as a gavel, banged twice on the bar top. 'Order! Order!' she called out to the still-cheering throng. 'I'll second that,' said Dave the barman. 'I'm losing money unless you lot order some drinks.' Andromeda Arkwright went on: 'As a student of psychology I am intrigued by what Dave Silver said in his defence. What exactly did you mean, Dave, by stating that making silly statements was in your nature?' 'Before I say anything further,' I said, my voice raspy with nervousness, 'Would it be possible to have a glass

of water?' 'Certainly,' said Dave the barman, hovering over the beer pumps. 'Would you like mild or bitter water? Er, only joking, of course. I never dilute my drinks.' I gulped down the contents of the proffered glass, stepped over the comatose, spread-eagled form of our former leader Ol' Red Eyes, and proceeded to speak. 'When I was growing up in the cobbled streets of working-class Manchester . . .' 'Cut the nostalgic drivel and just get on with it!' yelled Indoor Lou. 'We all came from humble beginnings.' 'But YOU didn't!' snapped Fearful Phil, pointing an accusing finger at Indoor Lou. 'Your family was as rich as Croesus.' 'Who's Croesus?' asked Daft Barry. 'Please keep out of this, Barry,' said Fearful Phil. 'I'm having an argument with Indoor Lou. But for your information, Croesus was this old king who had only to touch something for it to turn into gold.' 'That wasn't Croesus!' countered Indoor Lou. 'That was Midas!' 'Who's Midas?' asked Daft Barry. 'And don't shout at Barry!' snapped Indoor Lou at Fearful Phil. 'The boy Barry is the innocent party in all of this. It's that pathetically

inadequate Dave Silver who's to blame for making a wholly inappropriate remark to Fag Ash Bill.' 'Hey, keep me out of it!' yelled Fag Ash Bill from outside. 'I'm not responsible for what that saddo Dave Silver said. 'Just throw him out of the pub - if only for me to have someone to talk to.' 'Who's Dave Silver?' asked a confused Daft Barry. 'No, forget it. I remember who he is now.' Something on the floor stirred and opened one eye. 'I'm trying to get to sleep here. So let me settle the argument once and for all.' Ol' Red Eyes propped his head onto one raised elbow and began: 'Croesus was the king of Lydia from 560 to 547BC until his defeat by the Persians. Croesus was indeed renowned for his wealth. 'Midas was also a king. A member of the royal house of Phrygia, he was believed to have lived sometime in the 2nd millennium BC. But his ability to turn everything he touched into gold is merely a popular Greek myth. 'Dave Silver is the only one of the three who is not a king. A commoner, he was born in the last century and was fifth in the family line of succession after his elder

brother, the dog, the cat and the budgie. 'To conclude,' Ol' Red Eyes concluded his conclusion, 'The reason Dave Silver utters stupid remarks is that it is the only way he knows to get noticed.' The entire pub clientele rose as one and applauded me in recognition of my brave and constant struggle for recognition. 'Thank you, my friends,' I responded. 'But I feel we should now ask our good pal Barry the nature of his original unexpressed thought which kicked-off this whole ugly situation.' 'Oh, that,' shrugged Daft

Barry. 'I was only going to say that I thought it was quiet in the pub tonight.' 'There never is much doing early on,' said Dave the barman who glanced at his watch. 'But wait a second. It's now nearly closing time and we've still had nobody enter since Barry first thought his thought.' At which point there came a shout from the street. 'Any chance of someone bringing me out a drink?' yelled Fag Ash Bill. 'Dave Silver told me to keep the doors closed but it's thirsty work having to constantly turn customers away.'

Cultural Plea An Elche historical group has asked for a recently discovered archaeological site in the city to be declared as a unique cultural interest. The area is part of the extension plans for the delayed Central Market development in Elche, and was the site of some Arabic baths. The group want a protection order from the regional government to prevent the Market expansion, as they think there are some potentially hidden valuable sites in the area, which would permanently be closed off if the development goes ahead.

Load Of Rubbish Over 70 kilos of rubbish has been cleared out of the sea around Tabarca island by the Alicante firefighters diving unit. Amongst the trash, of containers, cans, and ropes, they even managed to find a sign. Of greater interest though was some timber which may have come from the wreck of an old ship, and that's been handed over for further analysis to the Alicante City Archaeology department.

An Awkward Start

Great Plume Of Fire Emergency services were called in to free four elderly tourists on the first day of their holiday after their hire car got stuck in marshland off the N-332 road between Santa Pola and Guardamar. The passengers were described as “European” with the incident happening at around 5.30pm on

Catalan Call Hundreds of thousands of Catalans went onto the streets of Barcelona last Friday to show support for independence from Spain. Local police said one point four million people turned out but the Spanish government put the figure at no more than 550,000. A separatist coalition of parties is leading the polls ahead of Catalunya's regional elections on Sunday September 26th. The Together For Yes campaign says if it wins a majority in the regional assembly it will push through plans for an independent Catalan state. But the Spanish government has promised to block any move to break away. Madrid said an unofficial Catalan referendum last November was invalid, which saw 80 percent of voters back independence but turnout was just forty percent. Polls suggest a majority of Catalans favour a referendum on independence but are evenly divided over whether they want to secede.

News

Friday 18th September 2015

One man suffered slight burns to his back after a fire in an Elche scrapyard last Tuesday morning. The incident was on the Carrus industrial estate in the city

with five fire crews from Crevillente and Elche quickly bringing the blaze under control which produced a plume of smoke which was visible over a wide area.

Monday when the driver apparently “felt ill” as they were travelling towards Guardamar, and he lost control as the car went off the road. Fortunately the vehicle was not travelling at speed and came to a halt on a slope a muddy area. The conditions though were tough for the elderly pas-

sengers to safely walk away from the vehicle, and they had to be helped out by emergency teams. The lucky occupants fortunately only suffered a few scratches and bruises and had only just arrived in Spain earlier that day. The driver was treated by paramedics and did not require a hospital visit.

Something In The Air

Mayoral Meets

Torrevieja's Green Party mayor, José Manuel Dolon (left), has met up with his Guardamar counterpart, José Luis Sáez of the PSOE, to talk about issues of mutual

benefit to the adjoining municipalities, including transport links; looking after the coast; and the La MataTorrevieja Natural Park which is in both council areas.

Three men have been arrested in Orihuela by the National Police and accused of crimes against public health and stealing electricity, as they ran a marijuana

plantation in a local house. A passing policeman smelt the strong odour of the drug as he passed the building plus nervous looking people trying to get in

through the front door. A raid was launched with 375 plants discovered with a range of lighting plus an illegally hooked-up electricity supply.

News

Friday 18th September 2015

Trail Ends

Spanish police investigating the case of an American woman who went missing on a pilgrim trail have arrested a man, named as 39-year-old Miguel Angel Muñoz Blas, who was then remanded into custody by a judge on Monday. The body of the 41-year-old pilgrim, Denise Pikka Thiem, was found on the grounds of the suspect's log cabin. Denise disappeared in April while hiking the Way of Saint James pilgrim trail in north-western Spain. Police had resumed their search for her last Thursday (September 10th) near the northern town of Astorga where she was last seen. Three hundred officers with dogs and a

helicopter were deployed in the operation, which focused on wells. Hundreds of thousands of tourists and Roman Catholic pilgrims hike the Way of Saint James, known in Spanish as the Camino de Santiago, each year, staying at hostels on their way to the north-western city of Santiago de Compostela. Thiem has not been heard from since April 4th when she sent a message to a friend saying she was at a point on the trail near Astorga. The suspect, Muñoz Blas, had only moved into the area three years ago, and his land – where the log cabin sits and which has a well for water – is where Denise's body has

been discovered. A nearby resident said she was 'not surprised' he had been arrested, saying the police 'had had him on record for years' after he 'went after female pilgrims insulting them' as they passed through the area. She said the man lived on his own in the isolated mountain area and claimed that he was 'very bad-tempered'. Police were investigating whether Muñoz had painted yellow arrows to divert walkers off the pilgrimage route toward his remote farm. Yellow arrows are used along the length of the Way of Saint James to help mark the pilgrimage route and point the way to Santiago de Compostela.

Bargain Bike

A prized bicycle that was stolen from a team that took part in the Vuelta a España has been recovered by police in Malaga after it was virtually being given away in a second-hand shop in the city. The specialist bicycle was being flogged off for just 120 euro, when it was worth around 12 thousand! The bargain made two agents suspicious when they were carrying out a routine inspection of the shop. The bicycle had been

sold to the shop by a man who lives in Malaga "with a long police record", along with another one which was also on display. The bicycle was stolen from Australian cyclist Simon Gerrans at the end of the third stage of the La Veulta between Mijas and Malaga on August 24th. The police identified the bargain bike as belonging to the Aussie team of OricaGreenEdge and returned the bike to them on the final day of racing last Sunday.

Free Rides If you fancy a ride on public transport and can get onto a tram this Tuesday, then you can ride for free as part of European Car Free Day! All tram services throughout the Valencia region will not

be charging passengers, which means that Alicante City’s tram network is likely to be very busy on a day when motorists are being encouraged to use environmentally friendly transport.

Xxxxx

Love Thy Neighbour

Offensive graffiti crawled on the wall of a Rojales area house was not part of a homophobic campaign, but part of a long on-going row between neighbours, according to local Mayor, Antonio Perez. The Informacion newspaper reported on Wednesday that a gay couple had claimed that the Rojales council had not helped them to deal with homophobic discrimination and actions that they had suffered ending up with their property being vandalised (picture from Informacion). Perez said that the council were addressing the issue but that everything indicated that it was part of a five year dispute between neighbours and not fuelled at all by homophobia. He added that he and council officials had had meetings with the two groups involved and that the local police would always respond if they got a call.

Friday 18th September 2015

Local & News

Dream Comes True

Despite suffering from dyslexia, writing has always been a passion for Santa Pola resident William J. Calvert. Now, that dream has become a reality with the forthcoming publication of his debut historical novel, 'Pistol & Sword'.

The story follows the early life of George Monck, later the Duke of Albemarle born in the seventeenth century. William says the book will appeal to anybody who likes a good historical novel and who is interested in the Thirty Years war and the English Civil war. When asked what inspires and motivates him to write, William says "Bringing history to the general public, and history that most people have never heard of". He hopes to sell enough copies to fund his historical research. "Pistols & Sword", published by Austin Macauley, will be released on September 30th. More details are available via www.austinmacauley.com

Van Boost In Harmony Stroke Benefit Torrevieja Stroke Support is better off to the tune of over 650 euro after a fundraising night at Guardamar’s Restaurante El Alto La

Dolores, with entertainment provided by Vinny Mack. The Restaurant owners, again, donated a cruise as first prize in the raffle.

The popular 60-strong Melody Makers International choir have started rehearsals for their next major production, called “That’s Entertainment” which will be put on at the Orihuela Costa Resort in January. New members to bolster

the ranks will be made welcome with the choir rehearsing at the Asturias Restaurant in Punta Prima every Tuesday afternoon at 5.00pm. Full training will be given after a short voice test, and you can get more details by calling 966 775 976.

The money continues to pour in for Age Concern, Costa Blanca South’s appeal to raise 35 thousand euro to buy a new minibus. Age Concern President, Maureen Payne, recently

got a cheque for the bumper sum of four thousand euro thanks to the efforts of Peter and Margaret Stent. The Appeal target has now reached over 24 thousand euro.

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish

Friday 18th September 2015

Going Shopping - Spanish Style After last week’s trip to the bank, we’re widening our net and going shopping with some key Spanish phrases in hand. I am a great fan of buying things, whether in the supermarket or clothes shopping. I just love it, and so let´s start with some words and then move onto phrases: ir de compras – to go shopping, la tienda – the shop, el centro comercial – the shopping centre, la panadería – the bakery, la carnicería – the butchers, el quiosco – the kiosk/newsstand, la tienda de modas – the clothes shop, el carro/carrito – shopping cart, la cesta – basket, la papelería – the stationary/book shop, la zapatería – the

shoe shop, la joyería – the jewellers, el mercadillo/el mercado – the market, caro/a – expensive, barato/a – cheap, comprar – to buy, pagar – to pay, abierto – open, cerrado – closed, cerrado al mediodía – closed at lunchtime, la caja – till, la tarjeta de crédito – credit card, pagar en efectivo – pay by cash, la salida – exit, la entrada – entrance, de major calidad - the best quality, el recibo – the receipt, defectuoso/a – defective, roto/a – broken, descuenta – discount, rebajas – sales, talla – size, color - colour. Here are some useful phrases you may need: ¿cuánto cuesta? / ¿cuánto es? – how much does it cost? / how much is it?, es demasiado caro – it´s too expensive, ¿tiene algo más barato? – do you have anything cheaper?, ¿ p u e d o probármelo? – can I try it on? El color no me sienta bien – the colour doesn´t suit me, ¿dónde están los probadores? – where are the c h a n g i n g rooms? Voy a pagar en efectivo – I´m going to pay by cash,

¿puede atenderme? – can you help me? ¿podría ayudarse? – can I help you? Sólo estoy mirando – I´m just looking, ¿podría mostrarme…? – could you show me…? So now we are thinking about buying something from a shop, what sort of verbs do you think you´ll need? Two of the most commonly used verbs are ´querer´ - to want and dar- to give. Spanish people don´t tend to me as polite as us British so they´ll say “quiero dos kilos” or even “dame dos kilos” Another useful verb is ´hay´, which normally means, there is / there are but can also be

used to mean ´do you have..?´ (are there..?). Another common word that you will need is ´dónde´ as you may need to ask where things are in a shop, so you´ll use “¿dónde está… ? Or ¿dónde están…? Now imagine the following scenario and translate it into Spanish. YOU: - Hello, do you have this dress in other sizes? SHOP ASSISTANT (SA):Yes, certainly. What size do you need? YOU: - Size 42, please. SA: - Ok, one moment I will go and look. YOU: - Thank you. SA: Here is the dress in a size 42. YOU: - Thank you, can I try it

on? SA: - Yes, sure. YOU: Where are the changing rooms? SA: - Over there. YOU: - Thank you. SA (at the till):- That´s 15 euros please. YOU: - Do you take credit cards? SA: - Yes we do. YOU: - Thank you. Remember you can make these exchanges as easy or difficult as you want according to your level. I hope you´ve written the above in Spanish before you check my version. Tú – hola, ¿hay este vestido en otras tallas? Asistente – Sí claro, ¿cuál talla necesitas? Tú – cuarenta y dos por favor, A – vale, un momento, voy a verlo Tú – gracias, A –

Aquí hay el vestido en talla cuarenta y dos Tú – gracias, ¿puedo probármelo? A – claro, Tú - ¿dónde están los probadores? A – están por allí Tú – gracias. (en la caja) A – quince euros por favor Tú – ¿aceptas tarjetas de crédito? A- pues sí Tú – gracias. Remember you can make up your own scripts like the one above to practise writing and translating Spanish, and then get a Spanish speaker to check that you have completed the translation correctly. Keep using your Spanish and you will continue to improve. ¡Que tengas una buena semana!

Pets

Friday 18th September 2015

The Voting Begins... Sadly, we have now had to close the doors on new entries into our Pet Idol 2015 competition. It is particularly sad for us because we have enjoyed receiving your pictures so much, and every single one of your pets deserves to be a winner. We have had dogs in sunglasses, hats and fancy dress costumes, cats lay down, sleeping, relaxing, doing what cats do best, little pets like hamsters, budgies and a gerbil, there have been so many we are amazed by how much love you all clearly give to your little companions.

Now, we are about to categorise the pets so that there is a fair chance for all. Once that is complete, they will be listed on the website, thecourier.es, and all you have to do is click to vote. ThatÂ´s it, our super computer will then calculate the most popular pet in each category and tell us who is winning. We will then give you a sneak preview of the results here next week. The voting will officially start when the pets appear on Tuesday at noon, then it is over to you. Oh, and if you think you can just sit there clicking away, that

would be unfair, so weÂ´re afraid that is not possible. We want each vote to matter. The Los Montesinos vets who are giving a 10 euro voucher, Eduardo Pets who are offering a free rabies voucher as a prize, as well as Tidy Paws and their 10 euro voucher for a pet hairdo, and of course the 1st prize is a 50 euro voucher to spend at the San Anton pet store and hospital in Guardamar. So, remember to visit the website from Tuesday to vote at thecourier.es and good luck to all the entrants.

Pets Corner: Can You take in a Homeless Dog or Cat?

ANNIE

COLA

ODIN

PIWI

TAMMY

Annie is a gorgeous staffie girl and was found wandering the streets in Torrevieja. She is around four months old and in good health, with a beautiful coat and a warm heart. She is good with other dogs and cats and very loving, and clearly enjoys pampering and a little tender love and affection. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Cola is an adorable 14 week old pup, who is being fostered in a home with other dogs and so has been very well socialised. He will still be a small dog even when fully grown. He has a very sweet temperament and like all little dogs loves cuddles. For more on Cola, phone PEPA on 650 304 746 email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Odin is an 11 month old male Fox Terrier type crossbreed who was found running along a busy main road late at night. He is now fully vaccinated, micro chipped and castrated; a happy boy looking for a loving home to call his own. If you think that he could be the boy for you then please contact the kennels on 966 710 047 or you can also email info@satanimalrescue.com

Piwi was going to be put to sleep by her owner who was returning to England. She needs somewhere to live out her final years. She has had Leishmania for many years but her levels are low and apart for her bones being old, she is in good health. Can you give this lovely dog a place of her own? Please phone 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Tammy was rescued by APAH when she was a small puppy. Now she is a friendly, medium sized dog who loves people and gets on very well with other dogs. She would make a lovely companion and will give a lot of joy, pleasure and love to her new family. To arrange to meet her, please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

TIGGER Tigger is a beautiful, fluffy tabby/white male, who was rescued with the rest of his brothers and sisters when his feral mum gave birth close to a large supermarket, where the staff looked after her and her little family. The kittens are now in the care of APAH, and ready to go to loving homes. To meet the family please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Friday 18th September 2015

8.7% per annum growth too good to be true? Think again!

13 Investing for income is not just for those who wish to drawdown a monthly income from their investment, reinvested dividends are also a great way to build solid growth over time. If you had invested £100 in the UK stock market in 1945 it would have been worth £5,140 at the end of 2013 with dividends reinvested, or £271 without, according to the oft-cited Barclays Equity Gilt study. Funds and investment trusts are an ideal method for income investing, as by holding a basket assets they spread risk. Income funds and trusts invest in portfolios of companies that pay a consistent dividend. One of the most well known of income funds is the famous Invesco Perpetual High Income fund which have returned a record performance since its inception back in 1988. The fund´s strategy is to deliver a high level of income together with capital growth. As of 10th September 2015, the fund has produced a return of 8.7% over the last year and 47% over the last 3 years. This income can be taken monthly or left to grow within your investment. This is one of the many income funds that you can invest in. The huge number of funds and investment trusts on offer can be confusing. At Seagate Wealth Management we believe in offering regulated financial advice using deep knowledge and expertise to provide clarity on how you can make the most from your savings and investments. Our advisers have been based in Spain for over 10 years and fully understand the worries and concerns that an expat faces when trusting their savings with someone. Please contact the telephone number below for a no cost, no commitment appointment from one of our friendly advisers to see how Seagate Wealth Management can help you. Alternatively, please email contact@seagatewealth.es

Friday 18th September 2015

Tony Mayes - About Life

Jeremy Corbyn is right on one thing! For once the pollsters got it right and successfully predicted left-winger Jeremy Corbyn as the new leader of the Labour Party. I was delighted to see that a raft of shadow ministers tendered their resignation, some within minutes of the result being declared last Saturday. At least that has saved me calling them all hypocrites for trying to pretend they could successfully work with a man who had opinions so widely different from their own. So good for them. I'm not surprised at the election result. Corbyn has attracted the votes of the British angry brigade, the disillusioned, those who have tried to get on in life and failed, and the great British unwashed. Whether he will appeal to the majority of the electorate is a vastly different matter. He now has the totally impossible job of trying to get the slightly left of centre or centre Labour MPs to agree with anything he has to offer by way of "true Socialist" principles. However, there is one part of Corbyn's policy which will gain him considerable popularity and something which the government must address urgently or face the consequences. And that is the total injustice which is so rife in the UK today. We've seen year after year the widening gulf between the

negate Corbyn's message. The new Labour leader is also advocating more money being spent on UK infrastructure. And I can agree with him on this one too, having seen the state of the railways and the UK road system incapable of coping with the demands being put upon them. But Corbyn's raft of renationalisation plans; huge public spending; an end to benefit cuts; more support for Trade Union power; and an end to Britain’s independent nuclear deterrent will not only frighten off electors but send shock waves in the financial markets and result in inflation and tax going through the roof and the value of the pound through the floor. One of my neighbours has a job delivering cars and drives from northern to southern England in the small hours. Last week he came across four separate road accidents along the M1, and all involved lorries, two of those incidents involving lorries crashing into the back of another. Probably these were as a result of drivers nodding off momentarily behind the wheel. Driving around and hearing reports of holdups on radio alerts, we often hear of accidents which involve lorries. It's a frightening thought that when we're

haves and have nots. It is not acceptable for the rich to get ever richer, while the poor fail to get any better off. The Tories have five years to demonstrate to millions of voters whether they will keep favouring the rich more instead of legislating to create a fairer society. That, more than anything else, will

out and about in our cars we are so vulnerable - in danger from a lorry out of control through a driver who is fighting to stay awake. It's pretty obvious which is going to come off worse when a lorry crashes into a car. It would be interesting to hear the percentage of road accidents which involve lorries -

and if the percentage is disproportionate, what can be done to make the roads safer? Latest figures show that Facebook has more nearly one and half billion worldwide users, and Twitter reported it had 316 million. But it seems all this chit-chat is taking its toll, especially among teens and 20-somethings, with an estimated 90 percent of them regularly using social media. The British Psychological Society says all this chitchat, morning, noon and night is leading to depression, anxiety and low selfesteem. It seems that instead of getting a proper night's sleep, teenagers are keeping up with the twaddle on social media into the small hours, depriving them of sleep and making them unable to cope with the next day. One teenager who was interviewed said: "When I'm using different social media I'll go from one to another and eventually I'll have been on for about four hours. Then I'll check the time. I should have been asleep, but I never will be because I'm checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram." Pathetic or what? I’m sure of people any sportsmen or women using

drugs to increase their chance of victory. Those who do, should suffer the ultimate sanction and be banned for life from competing. However, the tests that sportspeople undertake should be foolproof, so that there can be no possible doubt of guilt. Having said all that I have total sympathy with former British athlete Paula Radcliffe who found herself under the spotlight last week for what was said or not said in a parliamentary hearing on blood doping. During a Commons Culture, Media and Sport Committee hearing, Hereford MP, Jesse Norman, suggested that London Marathon winners and medallists and "potentially British athletes" were under suspicion. I don't begin to understand the highly complex tests which are done to check whether an athlete has broken the rules or not, but I really do deplore any MP using Parliamentary privilege to make statements to damage the reputation of anyone without any recourse. It's time to stop this, as it’s totally unfair that an MP can make allegations against a person who has no recourse in law to correct the statement. Slander is slander

wherever it is uttered - this bit of privilege should be confined to history. Now we all know how much you loved or still love your employer!! But there's one country in the world where you can display that love. Pictures have gone viral on the internet of a line of people kneeling and kowtowing in a public square in China, chanting 'thank you for my job' during the ceremony. Company bosses denied the staff were bowing to them but holding a ceremony to promote success for their company. But others felt that, as it's incredibly difficult to find a job in the current economic climate, if such a show of gratitude was needed, then the young people should do it. It's not the first time staff in China have been seen kowtowing to bosses. In 2012, an interior design company reportedly requested its staff to kowtow and chant slogans such as 'thank you for letting me survive' and 'thank you for letting me eat'. Those who refused to go were fined 3,000 Yuan (£300). Let's hope this doesn't catch on in the West! Has the human/ape missing link been discovered in a burial chamber in a cave system in South Africa? The

finding has reignited the big debate about where the human race came from. The 15 partial skeletons may be up to three million years old and have some human and some ape characteristics. More and more species of creatures are being discovered, which suggests that over thousands of years evolution was creating several different human-like species, originating in parallel in different parts of Africa. Only one line eventually survived and dominated, to give rise to us - science showing a far different story about our creation than religions suggest. Finally, I was saddened at the UK government decision to refuse permission for a giant wind farm about 10 miles out to sea off Dorset. The government is anxious to get the country using green energy rather than using fossil fuels, and have called on energy companies to come up with proposals. But the nimby (not in my back yard) brigade was out in force to block proposals for a farm off the coast - a farm which would have supplied power to all of Dorset and some of surrounding counties. Sad that nimbyism is alive and well and still influences common sense.

ISSUE 1 18TH SEPTEMBER 2015

Friday 18th September 2015

Homes & Gardens+

The Complete Service Propools and Gardens has been operating as the premier provider of garden and pool maintenance services to both communities and private homeowners alike for the past 10 years. The company is based in Guardamar Del Segura and has a customer base that spans the Costa Blanca region. Having forged valued relationships with over 35 urbanisations, Propools prides itself on its high standards and has built it reputation on providing a superior quality, reliable service through its teams of skilled staff. Recognising the role that administrators play in each community, Propools has built its unique selling point around developing winning relationships with presidents, committee members and administrators alike and bespoking its services to accommodate different briefs and budgets. Whether a customer is looking for a pool maintenance contractor to look after its community pools or landscaping options for a private garden, Propools works with each customer to deliver a tailored solution to meet those individual

requirements. In addition to having a flexible approach to each customers need, Propools comprises of staff which operate in dedicated teams focused on their individual specialism; gardening, palm tree cutting, garden design, pool maintenance and diving repairs, building and construction,electrical, plumbing and Irrigation techinicans. With both English and

Spanish staff, Propools is able to effectively engage with its client base, a distinguishing feature which has been valued by its customers. For more information or a free assessment and quotation please visit our website w w w. p r o p o o l s a n d g a r dens.com or call Richard Dickinson on (+34) 600 692 707 or Coordinating Supervisor Zoe on (+34) 638 613 693.

Homes & Gardens+

Friday 18th September 2015

Friday 18th September toâ&#x20AC;&#x2C6;Thursday 24th September 2015

2 - The Courier TV Pull-out

I Look Like an Idiot! Whatson´s Choice NO! Don´t look at me! When they said they were going to dress me up for the rugby I thought I was going to look like one of those lovely ladies from the Lifestyle+ pull-out last week. Glamorous, sultry, sexy even, but no, they didn´t tell me they were going to dress me up as the ball! What kind of cruel world is this if your favourite television can´t get dressed up in something stylish? I know why they did it by the way. Spite. Pure SPITE!

It´s because I admitted that I actually don´t like rugby! It´s still no way to treat a person / television character. I have feelings! I d o n ´ t have anyt h i n g against the rugby, I know it´s popular, it´s just not for me (insert joke about men with funny shaped balls). Anyway, the good news is I know I´m not alone. If you like the rugby, that´s fine, you´re welcome to it. In fact, there´s even your

FREE pull out and keep rugby planner in The Courier again this week, and there are still a couple left in the office if you want a glossy one. You´d better be quick though! Right, back to this week, as I was saying, I know I´m not alone so what I´ve done this week is gone through the TV guide and picked some of the alternatives to rugby, and there are a lot of them, especially on Friday when the big event starts. You read about my picks on the days, because there´s no Corrie or Emmerdale on Friday, there´s lots of space for me to fill. And I filled it. Talking of Corrie though, it is a dramatic week this week as they go LIVE for one episode, to celebrate

the birthday of ITV. Listen out for mistakes, name changes even the odd little rumble or furniture, as the cast partake in one of the scariest episodes ever. Doctor Who´s back this week too. Ah, see, they could have dressed me up as the Doctor. I can see myself in a long scarf and a hat, like the Tom Baker version. I wish I´d stayed quiet about the rugby now! Anyway, that´s it for now, I´ve got more to write about this week so I´m off. I do have a rugby joke for you. My mate thought he was doing really well in the rugby match for his local pub, but all everyone kept saying was “nice try”! Tatty bye my friends. Tatty bye.

Corrie Live - Wednesday

A thrilling week of episodes will see lives changed forever on Coronation Street as secrets and lies are exposed and some of our most loved characters are pushed to the edge. In a series of Corrie cliffhangers threats that were once empty now become a reality, while matters of the heart come to a head with far reaching consequences for a number of the street’s residents. Callum Logan will stop at nothing to get what he

wants and in a desperate bid to get sinister gang leader Denton off his back Callum wants cash, and he wants it from Kylie and David. The couple are living in fear as Callum blackmails them, come up with £20K and he’ll leave son Max alone and get out of their lives for good – otherwise he’ll hurt them. As they try to raise the money, a menacing Callum is doing everything he can to put the frighteners on the Platts. Pushed to the edge, there’s nowhere left to run for the Platts! Jason meanwhile has also been on the receiving end of one of Callum’s beatings. He’s determined to seek revenge and is baying for Callum’s blood but it soon becomes clear that Jason’s in no physical state to carry out a revenge attack himself. Worried about the bitterness Jason is harbouring, dad Tony and brother Todd decide to take matters into their own hands. As they plot to hit Callum where it hurts, Tony and Todd both have a dark side to draw on but have they met their match in the evil Callum Logan? With her wedding to Tim

just around the corner Sally should be every inch the blushing bride. Instead Sally’s tormented by guilt following a forbidden kiss with ex husband Kevin. Sally knows she made a mistake and is desperate to ensure her wedding goes ahead. But daughter Sophie is in the know and it’s not long before neighbour Anna overhears the juicy gossip. Sally’s on a mission to keep her saucy secret hush hush but how will Tim react when the truth comes tumbling out? Will Tim be saying I don’t instead of I do? Roy and Cathy’s friendship is now stronger than ever. But while she harbours ever growing feelings for her new companion, Roy is still battling his emotions after the loss of wife Hayley. As Cathy pulls out all the stops to celebrate Roy’s birthday will a surprise trip to Blackpool, a place with so many painful memories for Roy, tip him over the edge? And as Roy is confronted by echoes of the past will Cathy feel able to open up and voice her secret longing for a relationship with Roy? Andrea’s secret is out, she’s having Lloyd’s baby

and Lloyd couldn’t be happier. But as the couple prepare to head off into the sunset, to start a new life in Jersey, Steve is battling with the resentment he feels towards his former best mate and business partner. Not only did Lloyd let down his mum Liz to take Andrea back, he also can’t get his head round how Lloyd can trust Andrea after everything she’s done. Andrea and Michelle are desperate to bring the friends back together but as Lloyd’s farewell party approaches will they have to resort to dirty tactics to force the pair back together? And as teen Craig awaits the arrival of holiday romance Caitlin, he’s a bag of nerves. Will Caitlin hold true to her promise to visit Craig on the street or will his dream date end in tears? In the midst of this week of spectacular episodes Coronation Street will mark ITV’s 60th anniversary with an exciting live episode on Wednesday 23rd September. We’re keeping exactly what happens under wraps, but one thing is for sure, lives will never be the same again!

Still Open All Hours at Christmas

Arkwright’s will open its doors once again as the BBC One comedy Still Open All Hours returns for a new series, starting with a Christmas special as filming begins on location in Doncaster this week. The new series begins with a festive episode where Granville (Sir David Jason) bags himself a bargain Christmas tree, which gives him more problems than he wanted. Eric (Johnny Vegas) and Cyril (Kulvinder Ghir) embark on a new fitness regime and, as the holidays approach, Granville and Leroy (James Baxter) try to entice Madge (Brigit

Forsyth) to their festive party. Also returning to the new series is Tim Healy as love-

stuck Gastric, Nina Wadia as town gossip Mrs Hussein, as well as original cast members Lynda Baron as

Nurse Gladys Emmanuel, Stephanie Cole as The Black Widow and Maggie Ollerenshaw as the object of Granville’s affections, Mavis. Executive Producer Gareth Edwards says: “It‘s wonderful to be returning with our fantastic cast to Granville’s daft, warm and life-affirming world, full of the kind of characters and situations that could only come from the remarkable mind of Roy Clarke.” Written by Roy Clarke, Still Open All Hours is an BBC Comedy In-house production, produced by Alex Walsh-Taylor and directed by Dewi Humphreys.

Doctor Who The Magician's Apprentice

Saturday – BBC One Where is the Doctor? When the skies of Earth are frozen by a mysterious alien force, Clara needs her friend. But where is the Doctor, and what is he hiding from? As past deeds come back to haunt him, old enemies will come face-to-face, and for the Doctor and Clara survival seems impossible.

The Go-Between

Sunday – BBC One The Go-Between is a beautiful and haunting evocation of lost innocence and forbidden love, told over the long hot summer of 1900. Spending his summer holiday with the Maudsley family, 13 year-old Leo soon finds himself captivated by the enchanting Marian Maudsley. As the heat of the summer intensifies, Leo becomes more and more embroiled in the forbidden romance between Marian and farmer Ted Burgess, until he sets in motion a chain of events that has devastating consequences on his young life. Based on the classic novel, The Go-Between tells a timeless story about love, desire, duty and class at the beginning of the 20th century.

Peep Show End of an Era

Autumn – Channel 4 An emotional Olivia Colman is pictured with Robert Webb and David Mitchell on her last ever day of filming on the set of Peep Show. Colman’s Sophie will feature in the 9th and final series this autumn, as we follow the increasingly complicated lives of the El Dude brothers, Mitchell & Webb’s ageing flatmates Mark and Jeremy.

Friday 18th September 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 The One Show

22:00 Ripper Street An American journalist is killed in Whitechapel, and his exclusive story threatens seismic consequences for numerous Whitechapel residents

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News and Weather 19:45 Rugby World Cup: 20:00 Iolo’s Great Welsh Opening Ceremony Parks Iolo visits a park in Pontypool in 20:25 Rugby World Cup England v Fiji Hosts 20:30 Great British Menu England get the 2015 The two remaining chefs World Cup under way in the cook for the judges first live match of the tour21:00 Mastermind nament against Fiji at Contestants take to the Twickenham With Wales and Australia to come in black chair Group A, it is a must-win 21:30 Gardeners’ World As match for Stuart autumn unfolds Monty has Lancaster’s men, but the plenty to be getting on with Fijians are no pushovers, at Longmeadow having won the Pacific Cup 22:00 The Great British last month John Inverdale Bake Off: An Extra Slice is joined in the studio by Sister series to The Great three men who inspired England to World Cup glory British Bake Off in 2003 - Jonny Wilkinson, 22:30 Rick Stein From Lawrence Dallaglio and Sir Venice to Istanbul Rick Clive Woodward arrives in Istanbul

23:00 News and Weather 23:35 Mountain Goats 00:05 Pound Shop Wars 00:35 Film - Surrogates (12) 02:00 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:05 News

23:30 Newsnight 00:05 Later with Jools Holland 01:05 Film - Winter’s Bone (15) 02:40 Question Time 03:40 Special Forces Ultimate Hell Week

SOAPS

about Charlie’s offer for them to go away together. She agrees after he tells her all of his plans, but is stopped in her tracks when he adds that he wants to take Matthew with them.

20:30 Would I Lie to You? Rob Brydon hosts the comedy panel show 21:00 EastEnders Roxy finds herself torn between Charlie and Ronnie - who will she stand by? 21:30 Still Open All Hours David Jason returns as Granville, who has inherited the shop from his uncle Arkwright

Hello, Whatson here. I did warn you last week about soaps moving around to make way for the Rugby World Cup, and for that reason, tonight, there is not a lot happening on ITV apart from the opening events, so here is my alternative pick of the day.

In Eastenders on BBC One, Roxy is still thinking

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 09:15 Gardeners’ World 09:45 Great British Menu 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Tennis: Davis Cup 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip

At the same time, a worried Fatboy warns Charlie that he could be playing a dangerous game after learning that he plans to take Matthew. Meanwhile, Kathy tries to reach out to Phil, but she gets a shock when a familiar face arrives at her hotel. Ripper Street is also very exciting tonight when an American journalist is killed in Whitechapel and his exclusive story threat-

The Courier TV Pull-out - 3

07:00 Countdown 07:45 Draw it 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Four Rooms 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Posh Pawnbrokers 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 A Place in the Sun 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 21:00 Sarah Millican Hijacks Deal or No Deal Deal or No Deal celebrates an incredible 10 years on Channel 4 with a very special show that sees Sarah Millican turn the tables on Noel Edmonds 22:00 Gogglebox Britain’s favourite opinionated TV viewers share their sharp, insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques of the week’s best shows

23:15 News and Weather 00:05 Rugby World Cup Highlights 00:50 The Chase 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Britain’s Best Bakery 04:50 Nightscreen

23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:05 First Dates 01:05 Bad Robots 01:30 Film - Silent House (15) 03:00 Supernatural 03:50 Grand Designs 04:45 You Deserve This House 05:40 Hugh’s 3 Good Things 05:55 Fifteen to One

ens seismic consequences for numerous Whitechapel residents. With her business empire slipping through her fingers, Susan has to contend with some shocking news - and a face from her past who returns to exert their control. As the men of H Division inch ever nearer to the truth about the train robbery, the revelations expose some disturbing home truths.

Over on Channel 4, Sarah Millican Hijacks Deal or No Deal and turns the tables on Noel Edmonds. Sarah plays hosts and holds court in her own inimitable way, while Noel sits in the ‘crazy chair’ playing for a potential £500,000 jackpot for his chosen charity Children’s Hospice South West. Some memorable contestants from the past 10 years return to the show.

We mustn´t forget Would I Lie to You? Over on BBC One, full of laughs as Rob Brydon, Lee Mack and David Mitchell are joined by Jo Brand, Roisin Conaty, Paul Foot and Ray Mears.

Gogglebox is a must for any Friday night, as the watchers become the watched and we enjoy their unique, sharp, insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques of the week’s

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Magic Beyond Words: The JK Rowling Story (U) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud A compilation show featuring the most hilarious and outrageous dog-themed videos on the internet 21:00 Pussies Galore: Love Me, Love My Cats Documentary about fanatical cat lovers, including a woman in California who lives with over 1,000 adopted local strays 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the House as celebrities from the UK and USA take part in the ultimate CBB battle 23:30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 00:30 Celebrity Big Brother 01:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 01:50 Super Casino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:30 Access 05:40 House Doctor biggest and best shows. And finally, Alan Carr is joined by Hollywood stars Drew Barrymore and Toni Collette who talk about their new movie Miss You Already. Keith Lemon drops in to chat about the new series of Celebrity Juice, and Will Young discusses his album 85% Proof, while music is from Carly Rae Jepsen. So, there you have it, your alternative pick of the day for those wanting to avoid the Rugby World Cup. The soaps are still moving around a little, but we have the LIVE episode of Corrie to look forward to this week.

07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 09:05 Coronation Street 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 Coronation Street 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Film Burlesque (12) 23:25 Film - The Bourne Ultimatum (12) ITV3 07:00 Never the Twain 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 13:55 Heartbeat 15:00 The Royal 16:00 Where the Heart is 17:10 Never the Twain 17:45 On the Buses 18:15 In Loving Memory 18:50 Heartbeat 19:50 Murder, She Wrote 20:55 Corrie: The Road to Coronation Street 22:30 Vicious 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 Collision 01:05 Film - The Color Purple (15) ITV4 07:00 Alias Smith and Jones 07:50 The Car Chasers 08:50 Hogan’s Heroes 09:55 The Professionals 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:00 Minder 14:00 The Car Chasers 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Hogan’s Heroes 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Car Chasers 22:00 Car Crash Britain 23:00 Football’s Greatest: George Best 23:15 Rugby World Cup Greatest XV 00:20 Film Mortal Kombat II: Annihilation (15)

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Saturday 19th September

4 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 13:00 News 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Tennis: Davis Cup Semi-Final 17:30Final Score 18:10 F1: Grand Prix: Singapore Grand Prix - Qualifying Highlights 19:35 News Pointless 19:50 Armstrong Alexander quizzes another line-up of famous faces 20:40 Doctor Who Where is the Doctor, and what is he hiding from? National The 21:30 Lottery: In It to Win It Five contestants answer questions to scoop a big cash prize 22:20 Casualty There is a new doctor in the ED as life and death hang in the balance 23:10 News 23:30 Match of the Day 00:55 Film Rogue (15) 02:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:20News

07:10 Film - Anne of Green Gables (U) 08:25 Film Fabulous Sharpay’s Adventure (U) 09:55 Film The Last Flight of Noah’s Ark (PG) 11:30 Animal More 12:00 Park Creatures Great and Small 13:00 Great British Menu 14:00 Film - That’s Entertainment! (U) 16:00 Triathlon: World Series Chicago - Women’s Race Highlights 17:30 Flog it! Trade Secrets 18:00 The World’s Busiest Railway 2015 19:00 The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure 20:00 Gardeners’ World 20:30 Natural World How the Pacific archipelago’s animals are adapting to changing circumstances 21:30 Dad’s Army It is the night of the Home Guard Dance 22:00 6 Degrees of Teams Separation attempt to find the connections between six objects 22:30 Mock the Week 23:00 Cradle to Grave 23:30 Boy Meets Girl 00:00 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 00:30 Triathlon 02:50 Film - The Hunter (15) 04:15 This is BBC Two

07:00 The Aquabats! Super Show 07:25 Pat and Stan 07:40 Dino Dan 08:05 Share a Story 08:10 Sooty 08:25 Super 4 08:40 Adventure Time 09:00 Avengers Marvel Assemble 09:30 Fish Hooks 09:45 Horrid Henry 10:00 Jessie 10:25 News 10:30 Murder, She Wrote 11:30 The X Factor 12:30 Rugby World Cup: Tonga v Georgia 14:55 Rugby World Cup: Ireland v Canada 17:30 Rugby World Cup: South Africa v Japan 19:45 News

07:10 How I Met Your Great 07:35 Mother Scottish Swim 2015 08:30 Para Tri 09:00 The 10:00 Line Morning Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:55 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 News 17:30 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:05 Location, Location, Location

20:00 Keep it in the Family Bradley Walsh hosts the show in which two families go head-tohead in a series of games to win all sorts of prizes

21:00 Secret History The China’s of discovery Terracotta Army in 1974 captured the imagination of the world. But the dig only revealed a fraction of this extraordinary treasure

21:00 The X Factor Caroline Flack and Olly Murs present coverage as the audition stage concludes the Through 22:30 Keyhole Keith Lemon hosts the classic game show 23:30 News and Weather 23:45 Film - Invictus (12) 02:20 Jackpot247 04:00 Show Me the Telly 04:50 Nightscreen

20:00 Grand Designs Boat enthusiast James Strangeways invites Kevin to survey his new home

22:00 It Was Alright in the 1960s Matt Lucas narrates a look back at TV shows from past decades, with clips and reactions to programmes from people not aroundat the time 23:00 Gogglebox 00:05 Film - Battle: Los Angeles (12) 02:20 Alan Carr: 03:15 Man Chatty Hollyoaks Omnibus 05:25 Location, Location, Location

07:00 Milkshake 10:55 SpongeBob Squarepants 11:30 Cowboy Builders 14:20 Columbo Goes to College 16:15 Film Asteroid: Final Impact (15) 18:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 19:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 19:55 Film - Left Behind (12) Panic ensues when passengers suddenly disappear from a plane travelling en route from New York to London 21:55 News National and international news 22:00 Football League Tonight Kelly Cates and George Riley present action from the Football including League, Wo l v e r h a m p t o n Wanderers v Brighton & Hove Albion, Nottingham Forest v Middlesbrough and Rotherham United v the in City Cardiff and Championship Swindon Town v Burton Albion in League One Big Celebrity 23:30 Brother 00:30 Film - Date Movie (PG) 01:55 Super Casino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:00 Transporter: The Series

14:40 The Xtra Factor 15:40 Catchphrase 16:25 Film - Sweet November (12) 18:40 Film - The Shaggy Dog (PG) 20:40 Film - Bean (PG) 22:30 The Xtra Factor 23:30 Celebrity Juice 00:15 Safeword 01:50 Fake Reaction ITV3 14:50 Lewis 23:00 Corrie: The Road to Coronation Street 00:40 Wire in the Blood ITV4 14:20 The Car Chasers 14:50 Film - Smokey and the Bandit (PG) 16:45 Film - Smokey and the Bandit II (PG) 18:50 Storage Wars 20:15 Rugby World Cup: France v Italy 23:15 Storage Wars 23:45 HatTrick Heroes 00:00 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:15 Film - Driven (PG)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Keith Nicol

Sunday 20th September 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Bargain Hunt 12:45 Battle of Britain 75 14:30 Sunday Politics 15:35 Escape to the Country 16:05 The Great British Bake Off 17:05 Points of View 17:20 Tribute to a Queen - The Big Sing 18:00 F1: Singapore Grand Prix Highlights 19:35 News 20:00 Countryfile The latest rural developments, including reports on issues affecting country communities and insights into the life of the modern farmer 21:00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce presents an episode from RAF Coningsby 22:00 The Go-Between A tragic story of forbidden desire and betrayal 23:30 News and Weather 00:00 Eat Well for Less? 01:00 Weather & News

07:40 Countryfile 08:40 Gardeners’ World 09:10 The Beechgrove Garden 09:40 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:10 Great British Menu 12:40 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 Tennis: Davis Cup 17:45 Triathlon 18:45 Battle of Britain 75 Highlights from Westminster Abbey 20:00 World’s Weirdest Events Unlocking the secrets behind some of the world’s most unusual occurrences 21:00 The Best Of Top Gear Clarkson, Hammond and May star in a compilation of their finest moments from series 22 22:00 Special Forces Ultimate Hell Week The 13 remaining contestants are placed under the command of a former member of the Australian SAS 23:00 Match of the Day 2 00:10 Family Guy 00:30 Family Guy 00:55 Film Down Terrace (15) 02:25 Countryfile 03:20 Holby City 04:20 BBC Two

07:00 Children´s TV 09:00 Marvel Avengers Assemble 09:30 Fish Hooks 09:45 Horrid Henry 10:00 Horrible Science 10:25 The Unforgettable Sid James 11:00 The X Factor 12:30 Rugby World Cup: Samoa v USA 14:55 Rugby World Cup: Wales v Uruguay 17:30 Rugby World Cup: New Zealand v Argentina 19:45 News and Weather 20:00 The X Factor The first of two boot-camp programmes sees the successful contestants undertake a series of singing challenges when they are put through their paces by the judges

07:15 How I Met Your Mother 08:05 British GT 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:30 Film - 10 Things I Hate About You (15) 16:25 Film - St Trinian’s (12) 18:30 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 19:30 News 20:00 London’s Lost Graveyard: The Crossrail Discovery Engineers discover a graveyard that was lost for nearly 300 years 21:00 Time Crashers The celebrities work in a Victorian fishery in 1885

22:00 Downton Abbey Final series of the period drama following the lives of the aristocratic Crawley family and their servants at Downton Abbey

22:00 This is England ‘90 Lol, Woody and Milky revel in domestic bliss while the rest of the gang prepare to embark on a journey they will never forget

23:30 News and Weather 23:45 Rugby World Cup Highlights 00:50 River Monsters 01:20 Murder, She Wrote 02:20 Jackpot247 04:00 Motorsport UK 04:50 Nightscreen

23:00 Big Fat Quiz of the 90s 00:40 Film Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (18) 02:15 Come Dine with Me 04:40 Location, Location, Location 05:35 You Deserve This House

07:00 Milkshake 10:45 SpongeBob Squarepants 11:20 Football League Tonight 12:50 Ultimate Police Interceptors 15:40 Film Independence Daysaster (U) 17:20 Film The Time Machine (PG) 19:10 News 19:15 Film - 2012 (12) One man’s battle to save his family from a series of natural disasters caused by solar eruptions. As the Earth’s core temperature rises to dangerous levels, destruction spreads worldwide and the family move from city to city to escape the danger. Meanwhile, the US president along with a determined scientist are also confident that humanity’s time is not up 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the house as celebrities from the UK and USA take part in the ultimate CBB battle 23:00 Greatest Disaster Movies 00:30 Film - Planet of the Apes (12) 02:40 Super Casino 04:10 Police Interceptors 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make it Big

14:15 You’ve Been Framed 15:15 Film - The Shaggy Dog (PG) 17:20 The X Factor 18:50 The Xtra Factor 19:50 Film Twins (PG) 22:00 The Xtra Factor 23:00 Film - Scary Movie 5 (15) 00:50 Viral Tap ITV3 11:50 Lewis 22:00 Sunday Night at the Palladium 23:00 Birds of a Feather 23:35 City Lights 00:35 Lewis ITV4 13:55 Film - Smokey and the Bandit (PG) 15:50 Film - Smokey and the Bandit II (PG) 17:55 Film - Rio Bravo (U) 20:45 Film Driven (PG) 23:00 Film Red Heat (18) 01:10 Film The Fog (15)

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Tony De Love

Monday 21st September 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 09:15 Escape to the Continent 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Rockford Files 14:45 Canoeing: World Slalom Championships Highlights 16:00 Best Bakes Ever 16:45 Life Story 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 20:30 Inside Out Regional 19:30 Eggheads current affairs programme 20:00 This Wild Life 21:00 EastEnders Two Saba’s guests are accidenresidents prepare to leave tally stranded at a remote airstrip in the scorching sun Walford

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 The One Show

21:30 Rugby and the Brain - Tackling the Truth As the Rugby World Cup kicks off, former rugby international John Beattie investigates the link between the sport and brain injuries 22:00 All Change at Longleat Documentary following one of the country’s most extraordinary aristocratic families and the people who work for them, but running a £190 million estate brings challenges 23:00 News and Weather 23:35 National Lottery Stars 2015 00:20 Live at the Apollo 01:05 Weather 01:10 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Robert continues to deny he’s gay to Victoria and Andy and he’s desperate to get away as Victoria continues to question him about his relationship with Aaron. Later Victoria’s shocked to hear Robert is planning to leave and she tells Andy she wants to call Aaron, thinking he might help. Andy recognises Aaron’s mobile number and all of a

The Courier TV Pull-out - 5

21:00 Britain as Seen on ITV A selection of clips from the ITV archives showing Britain’s hobbies and pastimes before the internet 20:30 Great British Menu and boxed sets Culinary competition 21:30 Coronation Street 21:00 University David plays a dangerous Challenge Quiz series for game students 22:00 Doc Martin Martin 21:30 Only Connect Quiz decides to move out of the show presented by Victoria surgery and allow Louisa the space she needs, which Coren Mitchell she appreciates. Louisa is 22:00 Countdown To Life: intrigued to meet Martin’s The Extraordinary Making therapist Dr Rachel Of You Michael Mosley Timoney but is less tells the story of our middle enthused when Rachel weeks in the womb suggests they should have therapy as a couple 23:00 In Case You Missed it 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 23:00 News and Weather Top Gear 01:15 The Great 23:40 On Assignment 0:15 British Bake Off 02:15 Who Murder, She Wrote Do You Think You Are? 01:10Jackpot247 sudden the penny drops.

be able to raise the cash?

In Coronation Street, David and Kylie are outraged when Callum saunters into the Bistro. Gail contacts the police and The Platts are shocked to hear they had to release Callum DS Tyler explains that Callum’s on bail and asks the Platts to notify him if he threatens them. Fearing Callum is out for revenge, Kylie, David, Sarah and Bethany agree to stay in pairs, while Gail takes Max and Lily to stay at Audrey’s. Callum turns up at No.8 and offers David and Kylie a deal: get him £20K by tonight and he’ll be gone for good – or he’ll hurt them. Will David

After presenting him with gifts and cards, Roy’s friends wave him off as Cathy whisks him away on his mystery birthday trip. But how will Roy react when his surprise is unveiled - a steam fair in Blackpool, a place with so many memories?

When we return, desperate to put a stop to Callum’s menacing ways

21:00 Jamie’s Super Food In Japan, Jamie joins local people for their early morning exercise 21:30 Food Unwrapped Kate Quilton travels to the mountains of southern Peru, the home of some of the world’s finest coffee 22:00 The Catch The Van Dijck’s setting sail with a skeleton 23:00 It Was Alright in the 1960s 00:00 24 Hours in A and E 01:00 This is England ‘90 02:00 Undercover Boss USA 02:50 Grand Designs 03:45 Location, Location, Location 04:40 You Deserve This House 05:35 Fifteen to One

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film Final Verdict (PG) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 The Gadget Show The team goes behind the scenes with Dan of The Diamond Mindcart, a geek star, reviewer and gaming expert 21:00 Police Interceptors Jimmy collars a thief in the act and and Darren deals with a driver who is literally kicking off 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the house as celebrities from the UK and USA take part in the ultimate CBB battle 23:00 Katie Price: In Therapy 00:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:00 Pussies Galore: Love Me, Love My Cats 01:50 Tattoo Disasters: UK 02:15 Super Casino 04:10 The Yorkshire Vet 05:00 Nick’s Quest 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor

David searches for his nemesis at Gemma’s flat and the Dog & Gun. Frantic Kylie informs Sarah that David’s gone looking for Callum. As the two women fear the consequences for David, the pressure on Callum mounting, will he finally snap and call time on his dealings with the Platts? Tony takes Jason home to No.11 to rest. Eileen’s furious that he’s still obsessed with revenge, while Tony’s pleasantly surprised when Todd offers to help get justice for Jason. In front of oblivious Tim, Sophie makes digs at Sally about her kiss with Kevin.

In Eastenders, Lauren is feeling troubled and confides in Jane that she’s worried about Max being sent down. Abi overhears their conversation and is upset to hear that Lauren went to see Max, which leads to another argument. An emotional plea from Lauren convinces Abi to go to the court and support Max, but the day takes a surprising turn when Marcus brings Abi’s name into his questioning.

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Psych 07:55 You’ve Been Framed 08:30 The Cube 09:30 Dinner Date 10:30 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 The Cube 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - 300 (15) 00:20 Celebrity Juice ITV3 07:00 Never the Twain 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:30 Judge Judy 11:55 Lewis 13:55 Heartbeat 14:55 The Royal 16:00 Where the Heart is 17:05 Doctor in the House 17:40 On the Buses 18:15 In Loving Memory 18:50 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 20:55 Wycliffe 22:00 Inside Death Row with Trevor McDonald 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:15 Lewis ITV4 07:00 Alias Smith and Jones 07:50 The Car Chasers 08:50 Hogan’s Heroes 09:50 The Professionals 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:00 Minder 14:00 The Car Chasers 14:55 Pawn Stars 15:50 Hogan’s Heroes 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Rugby World Cup Highlights 21:00 Storage Wars New York 22:00 Goodwood Cars of the Future 23:00 Benidorm 00:00 Bundesliga 01:00 Motorsport UK 02:00 Film The Fog (15)

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Tuesday 22nd September

6 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Break-in Britain The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Jane pushes forward with her plan to help Max 21:00 Holby City When Elliot’s first love Brigitte tumbles back into his life, Elliot makes a startling choice 22:00 New Tricks A skeleton uncovered in the foundations of a swimming pool is identified as Cheryl - a young, pretty lottery winner reported missing 17 years ago. UCOS’ prime suspects are her quiz teammates, who won their lucky windfall as part of a syndicate 23:00 News and Weather 23:35 Millennium Children 00:35 Who Do You Think You Are? 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Aaron’s floored when Andy tells him he knows he was the last person Katie called. He covers she rang him because she was going to leave Andy but he doesn’t buy it. Robert’s alarmed when Andy pays him a visit and reveals what Aaron said about Katie, admitting he thinks he’s lying. Robert panics as

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 09:15 Rick Stein From Venice to Istanbul 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes 16:00 Best Bakes Ever 16:45 Life Story 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 This Wild Life Drought is beginning to make life difficult 20:30 Great British Menu The chefs go head to head with their fish courses 21:00 The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure The Bikers travel to Finland 22:00 The Naked Choir with Gareth Malone Gareth presents the search for the nation’s best a cappella group 23:00 Later Live with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Special Forces Ultimate Hell Week 01:15 The World’s Busiest Railway 2015 02:15 The Ascent of Woman 03:15 This is BBC Two Andy begins to put two and two together. He’s caught as Andy asks if Robert had anything to do with Katie’s death. Paddy witnesses Aaron trying to talk to Andy and is worried for Aaron who tells him he’s done something bad. As Aaron fills Paddy in on what he told Andy, Chas overhears their conversation. Belle is mortified to hear from Kirin that her parents have given him a warning. She hints she wants Kirin to kiss her and they end up snogging unaware Lachlan watches on. Lachlan sees the rucksack

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale Andy confronts Aaron 20:30 Deals, Wheels and Steals Six car dealers compete against each other to bag the best bargain car and sell it on for a profit 21:00 Parking Wars In the seaside town of Whitby, a B&B owner leads the charge against the confusing new parking measures introduced by the local council 22:00 Britain’s Biggest Adventures with Bear Grylls Bear reveals the tropical past of the Yorkshire Dales while abseiling at Malham Cove, rescues an endangered species and finds danger in a flooding cave 23:00 News at Ten and Weather 23:40 And Here Is the News 00:40 Through the Keyhole 01:40 Jackpot247 Ross chucked in the river and fishes it out. He looks inside and finds the gun. Jimmy’s not amused when Rodney’s client asks him to dress up in her late husband’s clothes.

In EastEnders, Marcus becomes concerned when Max refuses to listen to his advice. As a new day in court begins, Phil gets angry when Ben is torn apart on the stand. Phil furiously warns Marcus to

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - In the Dark 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News

20:00 Police Interceptors Dog handler Jimmy collars a thief in the act and the interceptors use the big red key to open the door of a 21:00 Obsessive drugs farm Compulsive Cleaners Gemma is determined to 21:00 The Yorkshire Vet challenge her obsession Julian risks life and limb to and sets off to help single inject a ferocious pig and mum Annia, a self-con- stud alpaca Lothario fails to fessed hoarder in Norwich live up to his namesake’s reputation 22:00 Educating Cardiff Benjy and Kalid are strug22:00 Celebrity Big gling to keep up in maths, Brother Highlights of all but Benjy’s teacher Mr the latest events inside the Hennessy is determined to House as celebrities from help him move back up a the UK and USA take part set in the ultimate CBB battle 23:00 The Changing Room 00:05 Bodyshockers 01:10 PokerstarsCom Shark Cage 02:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Gillette World Sport 03:00 Great Scottish Swim 2015 03:55 Para Tri 04:25 British GT 04:50 Deal or No Deal 05:40 Fifteen to One

23:00 The Hotel Inspector Returns 00:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:00 Celebrity Big Brother 02:00 Super Casino 04:10 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 05:00 Nick’s Quest 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor

stop his accusations, but his outburst backfires.

role as Director of Research when a phone call from Mr Hanssen forces him to make some tough decisions.

Max is next up in court, but before he takes the stand, he warns Marcus to stop using Abi’s name as part of his defence. Marcus ignores him and brings up Abi anyway as he questions Max. As Max publicly snaps and tells Marcus to leave his daughter alone, is he making life much worse for himself? Back home after the eventful day in court, Carol is shocked to find Robbie waiting for her. In Holby City, Elliot is busy preparing his acceptance speech for his new

Dominic takes Arthur away to his parents’ caravan site. But then Dominic’s parents turn up unexpectedly, triggering bad childhood memories. As he tries to save Arthur from his anxiety-induced demons, Dominic is forced to confront issues of his own.

07:00 Alesha Dixon: The Hot Desk 07:10 Psych 07:55 Emmerdale 08:30 Coronation Street 09:30 Dinner Date 10:30 Psych 11:20 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 Coronation Street 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - The Break-Up (12) 00:10 The Job Lot 00:40 Two and a Half Men 01:40 Fake Reaction ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:40 Judge Judy 12:00 Lewis 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Foyle’s War 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:05 The Vice 01:10 Lewis ITV4 07:00 Alias Smith and Jones 07:50 The Car Chasers 08:40 Hogan’s Heroes 09:50 The Professionals 10:50 Magnum, PI 11:50 Alias Smith and Jones 12:55 Minder 13:55 The Car Chasers 14:55 Motorway Patrol 15:50 Hogan’s Heroes 16:55 Magnum, PI 17:55 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 Storage Wars 22:00 Goodwood Revival 2015 23:00 Film - The Krays (18) 01:25 Film Mortal Kombat II: Annihilation (15)

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Wednesday 23rd September 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Pound Shop Wars Chris has done a deal with Disney to produce a massive range of official merchandise for the Frozen films 21:00 The Great British Bake Off The five remaining bakers tackle patisserie in the quarter finals, making 24 cream horns for their signature challenge

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 09:15 Claimed and Shamed 09:45 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 12:30 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Rockford Files 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes 16:00 Best Bakes Ever 16:45 Africa 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Food and Drink The Hairy Bikers come up with a speedy meal 20:30 Great British Menu Culinary competition 21:00 Don’t Panic - How to End Extreme Poverty in 15 Years Exploring eradicating worldwide poverty

22:00 Doctor Foster Gemma is about make new discoveries about the secrets those around her are holding on to

22:00 The Ascent of Woman Amanda looks at the role of women in revolutions

23:00 News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport 00:05 Mountain Goats 00:35 Film - Hard Rain (15) 02:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:15 News

23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Countdown To Life: The Extraordinary Making Of You 01:15 India: Nature’s Wonderland 02:15 The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure

SOAPS

ensues.... Aaron admits to Chas that Robert killed Katie and he helped him cover it up.

In Emmerdale, Andy accuses Robert of killing Katie. Andy tries to ring the police but is left shocked when Robert knocks the phone from his hand. Robert pleads with Andy to trust him but leaves him thwarted when he finally admits to killing Katie. Andy is reeling and he tells Robert to leave but he refuses, a fight

Rakesh catches Lachlan with a gun in hand. Chrissie is upset when Rakesh explains he will not be able to represent her at the trial. Ashley is planning a quiet dinner for Harriet’s birthday until Bob suggests throwing her a themed party. Victoria is shocked when the police arrive and arrest Robert on suspicion of murder. At the pub, Chas glances at Aaron when she learns Robert’s been arrested and Aaron thinks

The Courier TV Pull-out - 7

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News and Weather 15:00 Rugby World Cup: Scotland v Japan 17:30 Rugby World Cup: Australia v Fiji 19:45 News and Weather

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Another Man’s Wife 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Angry Britain Observational documentary series featuring extraordinary outbursts of temper caught on camera by bystanders and those caught up in the brouhaha 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door The first episode of the new series features a woman and her neighbour coming to blows after she spots him taking photographs of her

part supernatural thriller series. Priest and trainee exorcist Merrily Watkins has barely started in her new role when she is asked by the police for her help in solving a baffling and gruesome murder. Quickly caught up in a terrifying mystery, Merrily soon finds herself in real danger

22:00 Grand Designs What do you do after recovering from a traumatic, life-threatening brain haemorrhage? Spend everything you possibly can on a beautiful cuttingedge house, of course, with everything your loved ones could ever wish for

22:00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the House as celebrities from the UK and USA take part in the ultimate CBB battle

23:00 News at Ten and Weather 23:40 Rugby World Cup Highlights Scotland v Japan, Australia v Fiji & France v Romania 00:40 Sports Life Stories 01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Don’t Blow the Inheritance 04:50 Nightscreen

23:00 It’s a Weird World 00:00 Hunted 01:05 Bestival 2015: Music on 4 02:05 The Catch 03:00 Film - Semi-Pro (15) 04:35 Location, Location, Location 05:30 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 05:45 Fifteen to One

23:00 Wentworth Prison 00:00 Capital One Cup 01:25 Criminals: Caught on Camera 01:50 Super Casino 04:10 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 05:00 Nick’s Quest 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 House Doctor

Andy’s worked it all out. Robert paces in his police cell, scared as the door opens. He’s taken to the interview room where he answers questions about his relationship with Katie and Andy. He lies that Andy made up the allegation because he’s never forgiven him but will he manage to manipulate the situation?

return before Rakesh calls the police?

he is throwing her.

Rakesh tells Chrissie that Lachlan had a gun in the village but he doesn’t know where he is now. Chrissie’s stressed as she calls him. She begs Rakesh not to call the police, pleading for him to give her twenty minutes to find him. Will Lachlan

Debbie can’t resist when Ross kisses her but upset from seeing Andy and Robert fighting, Sarah, followed by Pete, runs in to see Debbie and Ross together. Angry, Pete leaves, warning Debbie against Ross. After comforting Sarah, Debbie postpones their night in and Ross leaves annoyed that Pete once again got in their way. Filled with rage, Andy insists to Diane and Victoria that Robert killed Katie. Harriet comes clean to Ashley she knows about the surprise party

In Coronation Street, it´s the live episode and with Callum closing in the Platts have nowhere left to run. The action continues where we left off on Monday with Callum paying a visit to Sarah after issuing the Platts with a final demand for £20,000, warning that he will hurt them badly if they don’t cough up the cash.

07:00 You’ve Been Framed 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 The Cube 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 The Cube 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Through the Keyhole 23:00 Coronation Street Live: Uncovered 00:00 Film Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies (15) ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:40 Judge Judy 12:00 Lewis 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Long Lost Family 22:00 Britain’s Busiest Airport - Heathrow 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:10 Lewis ITV4 07:00 Alias Smith and Jones 07:50 The Car Chasers 08:50 Hogan’s Heroes 09:50 The Professionals 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Alias Smith and Jones 13:00 Minder 14:00 The Car Chasers 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Hogan’s Heroes 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Rugby World Cup: France v Romania 23:15 Rugby World Cup’s Greatest Moments 00:15 Film - We Were Soldiers (15)

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Thursday 24th September

8 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 09:15 Eat Well for Less? 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Rockford Files 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes 16:00 Best Bakes Ever 16:45 Africa 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 19:30 Eggheads

20:30 EastEnders Masood worries when he hears of Jane’s intentions

20:00 Mary Berry’s Absolute Favourites Mary shares a selection of her recipes

21:00 Eat Well for Less? Gregg and Chris help Clare and Richard who are so busy with work and looking after two young children they have found themselves stuck in a rather unusual rut 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? Frank Gardner sets out to find out whether there is any truth in his late mother’s claim that her side of the family arrived in Britain with the Normans 23:00 News and Weather 23:35 Question Time 00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 News

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Chas tells Cain all about Aaron helping Robert cover up Katie’s murder. She continues that she could kill Robert but Cain stresses what the consequences would be. Later, Chas goes to see Chrissie and tells her Robert has been released. When Chas mentions the gun in the safe, a determined

20:30 Great British Menu Creative culinary competition 21:00 World’s Weirdest Events Chris finds a woman with her twin inside her brain 22:00 Cradle to Grave Danny’s loyalty to the football team is tested 22:30 Boy Meets Girl Leo and Judy plan to spend their first night together 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 The Naked Choir 01:15 Rugby and the Brain 01:45 India: Nature’s Wonderland 02:45 This is BBC Two Chrissie says she needs to make things right for everyone he hurt. At the garage, Cain tells an alarmed Aaron that Chas wanted him to kill Robert. At the scrapyard, Robert tells Aaron that he told the police Andy had got it all wrong and has kept Aaron’s name out of it but Robert’s left stung when he calls him a pathetic, money-grabbing coward. Robert viciously goads Aaron and he’s left seething. Returning from their holiday, Lawrence and Bernice learn about the arrest in the pub and Chas and Ross listen in as

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 17:00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Regional News 19:25 Party Political Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 19:30 News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale Robert leaves Aaron seething 20:30 Rugby World Cup New Zealand v Namibia All the action from the Pool C encounter at the Olympic Stadium in London, where Namibia are the final team of the 20 involved to make their entry into this year’s tournament. Craig Doyle presents, with analysis from Sean Fitzpatrick, Ian McGeechan and George Gregan, and commentary by Simon Ward and Geordan Murphy (Kick-off 9:00pm) 23:00 News at Ten and Weather 23:50 The Chase: Celebrity Special 00:50 River Monsters 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 Nightscreen Lawrence is told about Lachlan and the gun by Rakesh. Back home, Lawrence is left furious when Chrissie tells him Robert was behind the break in, whilst Lachlan secretly listens in. Andy’s stunned to hear from Diane and Victoria that Robert has been let go and his anger begins to rise. Robert pauses outside the door and realises he can use this to his advantage. Will Robert manipulate the situation to paint Andy in a bad light? Marlon persuades Paddy to accompany him to a singles night. Priya’s annoyed when Rakesh

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Four Rooms 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Deal or No Deal 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 A Place in the Sun 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News 21:00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces George meets a father of three trying to build a homemade campervan for less than £700 It’s made from 3000 CDs, with the floor built out of old vinyl records 22:00 Hunted 14 British citizens are given fugitive status and go on the run, taking extreme measures to avoid detection 23:00 First Dates 00:05 Gogglebox 01:10 Educating Cardiff 02:05 Katie Piper’s Extraordinary Births 03:00 16 Kids and Counting 03:55 Location, Location, Location 04:50 Deal or No Deal 05:45 Fifteen to One says he’s still representing Chrissie. Cain warns Debbie she’s on her own if she gets back with Ross. Andy spots Steph laughing with Jamie in the Bistro. When Luke lets slip that they used to be a couple, In Eastenders, Jane makes final preparations for her witness statement, which she hopes will help Max. She also writes a card for Ian and hands it over to Lauren, asking her to pass it onto Ian for her. It doesn’t take Lauren long to realise what Jane has planned and she races to the court to stop her.

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders and Bodge Jobs 13:10 News 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film Committed 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Underground Britain In Wales, Rob visits Europe’s largest cave system beneath Brecon Beacon national park, the dungeons of Chirk castle and the hidden remains of Ruthin castle 21:00 Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud A compilation of the most hilarious and outrageous dogthemed videos on the internet 21:55 News National and international news 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Final After four weeks of tussles, nominations and evictions, arguments and fun, the moment has arrived as the winner is announced

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Psych 07:55 Emmerdale 08:50 Coronation Street 09:55 Coronation Street Live: Uncovered 10:55 You’ve Been Framed 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:10 Coronation Street 15:15 You’ve Been Framed 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed 20:45 Film - Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (12) 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Film Scary Movie 5 (15) ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:30 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Lewis 14:00 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:10 Lewis ITV4

23:45 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 01:15 Super Casino 04:10 Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud 05:00 Nick’s Quest However, by the time she arrives, Jane has already taken to the dock and is describing what happened on Good Friday. To a stunned court, she makes a shocking revelation…

Meanwhile, Robbie gets annoyed when Sonia questions him on the reasons for his sudden return. Sonia gets a further shock when she spots Robbie suspiciously taking money from her purse.

07:00 Alias Smith and Jones 07:50 The Car Chasers 08:45 Hogan’s Heroes 09:50 The Professionals 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 Alias Smith and Jones 12:55 Minder 14:00 The Car Chasers 14:25 The Car Chasers 15:00 Tommy Cooper 15:25 Pawn Stars 15:55 Hogan’s Heroes 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 Minder 19:00 Rugby World Cup Highlights 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Pawn Stars 21:00 British Superbike Championship Highlights 22:00 Film - Red Heat (18) 00:10 Bundesliga 01:10 Film - Waterworld (PG)

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

The Courier TV Pull-out - 9

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI ITV celebrates its 60th birthday this coming Tuesday when it first popped up on London area screens in 1955. I raise a big glass to that anniversary and so many years down the line, it is hard these days to appreciate the revolutionary impact it had on UK TV. Before ITV’s appearance, a very staid BBC service lacking any creativity ruled the roost on the nation’s only channel. By 1958, when ITV was beginning to spread around the country, it hit the astonishing figure of getting 75 percent of all viewing as people rightly gave up on the BBC. ITV’s success was that it made popular but high quality shows; it was regional and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ITV

therefore not preaching from London; and it was full of creativity. I loved ITV as a kid in the sixties and seventies and barring sport and special events, most of the time, our household was tuned in to Granada and ABC in the North, and then to ATV when we moved to the Midlands. Don’t think that I’m fooled by nostalgia. Just go on-line and track down some old listings from the TV Times over the years, and you can see how rich and varied ITV’s offerings were. Hey, it was just in the eighties that we got Brideshead Revisited and The Jewel in the Crown, and most of the nineties saw the winning mix of drama and entertainment

continuing. Regular readers of my column will know that these days I get very frustrated and angry by the way ITV has gone in the last decade or so, especially as the money pours into the coffers. You are lucky to get original drama twice a week at 9.00pm (different from the eighties and nineties). At least five hours of the weekday prime-time schedule is dominated by Emmerdale and

Coronation Street, stifling the chance to bring something new to the party, be it drama or entertainment, or heaven preserve a probing documentary. Tell me the last new big hit entertainment format that ITV have come up with? I bet you can’t! Dramawise, Downton Abbey, which returns this Sunday, finishes this year. Mr.Selfridge will almost certainly end next year, and there’s realistically

one more run left of Broadchurch. So what is going on in the ITV drama department? Perhaps the new Jekyll and Hyde series, and Beowulf may come to the rescue, but it seems to me that ITV bosses have run out of steam in terms of creativity across all aspects of their schedule. Why not roll the dice and take some risks rather than putting on some poxy cheap celebrity presented documentary or some fly-on-the-wall reality documentary rubbish at 8.00pm or 9.00pm on a weekday? Nobody’s watching them and ITV know that, which suggests that the accountants are calling the tune. ITV was dubbed the

People’s Channel but I suggest they are badly out of touch with what viewers want, and that’s playing straight into the hands of other providers. It was once viewed as one of the best commercial channels in the world, but I’d far rather sit down and watch one of the American commercial networks for four hours (full of top drama and entertainment) then the feeble fare ITV is pumping out. The irony of all this is that sixty years on, ITV’s problem echo those faced by the BBC in 1955. It’s nothing though that some fresh executives, backed up by the ITV board, can’t sort out. As a viewer, I really hope they do.

The Secret Agent

Toby Jones (Marvellous, The Girl) will star in Tony Marchant’s (The Mark Of Cain, Garrow's Law) adaptation of the classic Joseph Conrad thriller, The Secret Agent for BBC One, directed by Charles McDougall (Hillsborough, Queer As Folk, The Good Wife), his first UK drama for a decade. Produced by Line Of Duty's World Productions for BBC One, Jones will play Verloc, whose seedy Soho shop hides his role as an agent of the Russian Embassy, spying on a group of London anarchists. Furious that Britain tolerates violent extremists, the Russians want Verloc to provoke a bomb outrage that will trigger a government crackdown. Caught between the Russians and the British police, Verloc drags his unsuspecting family into a

tragic terror plot. Toby comments: “I am both excited and intrigued by the challenge of playing Verloc, the eponymous hero of Conrad’s startlingly relevant novel The Secret Agent.” The stellar cast includes Vicky McClure (Line Of Duty, This Is England) as Verloc’s previously loyal wife, Winnie, Stephen Graham (Pirates Of The Caribbean, Boardwalk Empire, This Is England) as Verloc’s adversary Chief Inspector Heat, and Ian Hart (Boardwalk Empire, The Driver) as the dangerously unpredictable Professor. Vicky says: “I'm so excited to play the part of Winnie. It's an incredible script. And delighted to work with Toby Jones - I've always been a huge fan of his." Stephen adds: “I am really

excited to be a part of this project with some fantastic actors and an amazing director.” Tom Goodman-Hill (Humans, Mr Selfridge) will play Heat’s boss, Assistant Commissioner Stone and David Dawson (Ripper Street, Peaky Blinders) plays Verloc’s Russian handler, Vladimir. The anarchists include Tom VaughanLawlor (Love/Hate, Becoming Jane) as Michaelis and Raphael Acloque (The Ivory Year, Pushaway) as Ossipon. The Secret Agent (3x60) is executive produced for World Productions by Simon Heath (Line Of Duty, The Great Train Robbery, United) and by Polly Hill for BBC One, and produced by Priscilla Parish (Code Of A Killer). The drama was commissioned by Charlotte Moore, Controller of BBC One, and Ben Stephenson, former Controller of BBC Drama Commissioning. Filming commences this month. Executive producer Simon Heath says: “It’s a privilege to be working with such a terrific cast to bring to life Tony's brilliant adaptation.” Writer Tony Marchant adds: "I can't think of any actors better suited to delivering the modernity and authenticity of Conrad's work to the screen."

10 - The Courier TV Pull-out

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 14 represents G and 25 represents L, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Location (4) 3 Level-headed (8) 9 Set free (7) 10 Chimes (5) 11 Glasses (5) 12 Allow (6) 14 Fit to eat (6) 16 Country in East Africa (6) 19 Shut (6) 21 Frighten (5) 24 Line of people (5) 25 Building (7) 26 Mixed (8) 27 Chaos (4)

1 Emphasised (8) 2 Diacritical mark (5) 4 Not subject to taxation (6) 5 Teetotal (5) 6 Mass of precious metal (7) 7 Simple (4) 8 Maiden (6) 13 Unthinking (8) 15 Malady (7) 17 Idle talk (6) 18 Cling (6) 20 Assert (5) 22 Come up (5) 23 Shade of blue tinged with green (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Once, 3 Alias, 8 Fumbles, 9 April, 10 Spare, 11 Sterile, 12 Rocket, 14 Accede, 17 Clothes, 19 Rebel, 21 Lists, 22 Abandon, 24 Siege, 25 Bend. Down: 2 Comma, 3 Assist, 4 Irate, 5 Survive, 6 Fleece, 7 Bluebell, 10 Strictly, 13 Chooses, 15 Cereal, 16 Escape, 18 Haste, 20 Badge, 23/1 Nod off.

Scribble Pad

FILL IT IN

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Closely follow notice in exhibition (6) 4 Assisted with notice about record (6) 9 Mead brewed by an expert for the world of scholars (7) 10 Seize power from money lender quietly and without hesitation (5) 11 One last scrawny tree (5) 12 Joint league leaders? (7) 13 In serious difficulties with herds spread all over the place (4,7) 18 Shelter Dracula’s heart - he’s representing bloodsuckers (7) 20 It’s not a slur to be captured in the Russian mountains (5) 22 Bother young potter (5) 23 Move ragtime (7) 24 Nowadays fellows want peripherals (3-3) 25 Cancel Royal Engineer’s ding-dong (6)

Down 1 One might say, it appeared to be all sewn up (6) 2 A novice joins a doctor at a famous siege (5) 3 Odysseus’ first requirement - to catch you like Polyphemus? (3-4) 5 Kit that could be pique (5) 6 Girl identified from a line up (7) 7 Some looked up lexicon having two parts (6) 8 Redistributing revenue? Most enterprising (11) 14 Claimed a few blundered (7) 15 Tightly wrap the weapons up before a leg gets broken (7) 16 Gangster’s articles on girl? (6) 17 A dandy too (2,4) 19 Handy composition for a composer (5) 21 A labyrinth floor (5) Down 1 Lined (6) 2 Mission in San Antonio (5) 3 Like a Cyclops (3-4) 5 Fit out (5) 6 Relating to Paul the Apostle (7) 7 Semidetached house (6) 8 Daring (11) 14 Stated categorically (7) 15 Cuddle together (7) 16 Legendary Wimbledon champion Gibson (6) 17 Additionally (2,4) 19 Austrian composer (5) 21 Astound (5)

STANDARD CLUES Across 1 Dark spot (6) 4 Assisted (6) 9 World of learning (7) 10 Obtain by force (5) 11 Black hardwood (5) 12 Upper surface (7) 13 In difficulties (4,7) 18 Bloodsucking worms (7) 20 Mountain range between Asia and Europe (5) 22 Pester (5) 23 Move periodically (7) 24 Appendages (3-3) 25 Cancel officially (6) Last weeks Solution Across: 7 Lagoon, 8 Adagio, 9 Tops, 10 Alicante, 11 Fretted, 13 Major, 15 Pagan, 17 Tapered, 20 Doorpost, 21 Tern, 22 Debase, 23 Rennet. Down: 1 Favour, 2 Rods, 3 Invader, 4 David, 5 Carapace, 6 Bistro, 12 Tea break, 14 Rapture, 16 Azores, 18 Earner, 19 Monet, 21 Tent.

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Age Ale Cap Dry Dud Get Its Lap Mop One Ore Pal Row Sin Sir Son

4 letter words Abet Aide Aloe Alto Arts Boss Cane Cede Dale Dare Dole Edge Else Ends Ewer Feel Hose

Icon Ilia Iron Lied Mail Need Plan Rift Said Seat Shoe Sole Song Star Stud Tale Term Thee Tilt

Tree Trey 5 letter words Actor Alter Avail Disco Eared Ladle Louse Melee Nones Orbed Osier Panda Pores Psalm Sable

Shred Sorry Sound Souse Testy Toner Tonne 6 letter words Avocet Sateen Statue Street 8 letter words Cosseted Dossiers Mattress Noontide

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Sábado (8) 4 Bucket (pail) (4) 7 Cicatrices (5) 9 Abrigos (prendas) (5) 11 Noise (5) 12 Goodbye (5) 13 Hermana (6) 15 Athlete (6) 19 Costuras (puntadas) (5) 21 Otra vez (5) 23 Jabones (para lavar) (5) 24 Seven (5) 25 Wool (4) 26 Grillos (insectos) (8)

Down 1 Tailors (7) 2 To bring (news, luck etc) (5) 3 Anchovy (salted, tinned) (6) 5 Waves (in sea, lake) (5) 6 Broad bean (4) 8 Sonrisa (5) 10 Brillo (de tela, pelo, zapatos, superficie) (5) 14 Estrellas (5) 16 Lágrimas (5) 17 Dirección (7) 18 To tire (out) (6) 19 Robar (objeto, dinero) (5) 20 Mares (geografía) (4) 22 Sobrina (5)

The Courier TV Pull-out - 11 Across 1 Tending to induce drowsiness or sleep (9) 6 Word that can precede: book, heap, iron, metal and yard (5) 9 Single released in 1978 by The Motors that reached number four on the UK singles chart in June of the same year (7) 10 Music club first located at 165 Oxford Street, London when it opened in 1958 with a range of jazz and skiffle acts. Its most famous period was from 1964 to 1988 at 90 Wardour Street in Soho (7) 11 Comedy-magic partner of Penn Jillette (6) 12 Basic units of money in Venezuela (8) 14 Semi-precious variety of agate with different colours in layers (4) 15 Intense or irrational dislike or fear of people from other countries (10) 18 Psychedelic rock band

formed in San Francisco in 1965 that featured Janis Joplin as the lead singer: --------- and the Holding Company (3,7) 20 Small flake of soot or other dirt or a mark left by one (4) 23 Small tropical American monkey with a silky coat and a long tail (8) 24 Prolific German-born, British baroque composer, best remembered for his oratorio Messiah (6) 26 Slowly moving mass or river of ice formed by the accumulation and compaction of snow on mountains or near the poles (7) 27 Smooth, sweet substance made by boiling nuts in sugar and grinding the mixture, used especially as a filling for chocolates (7) 28 Warn or arouse to a sense of danger or call to a state of preparedness (5) 29 Person hired to fight for another country than

SUDOKU (Hard)

Quiz Word

their own (9) Down 1 Radio-controlled or laser-guided explosive device (5,4)

2 Name of the lion character from the BBC1 children’s show The Herbs (7) 3 Greek island in the southeast Aegean Sea 10

miles off the Turkish coast, the largest of the Dodecanese (6) 4 Nickname of the American rhythm and blues and rock and roll pianist and singer-songwriter Antoine Domino (4) 5 American funk/soul band whose UK hit singles include: Easy, Three Times a Lady and Nightshift (10) 6 BBC sitcom that was a direct spin-off from Porridge, starring Ronnie Barker as Norman Stanley Fletcher: Going ------- (8) 7 Long pinkish sour leafstalks usually eaten cooked and sweetened (7) 8 Members of the nobility in Britain or Ireland, comprising the ranks of duke, marquess, earl, viscount, and baron (5) 13 Large hemispherical brass or copper percussion instrument also known as a tympani (10) 16 Large-calibre guns

used in warfare on land (9) 17 Criminal who illegally sets fire to property (8) 19 Rock band formed in Madison, Wisconsin, in 1994 consisting of Scottish singer Shirley Manson and American musicians Duke Erikson, Steve Marker and Butch Vig (7) 21 Name shared by an island in the Atlantic Ocean off NW Africa and a river in NW Brazil, which rises on the Bolivian border and flows about 1,450 km (900 miles) to meet the Amazon east of Manaus (7) 22 Exterior front or face of a building (6) 23 Hot fluid or semi-fluid material below or within the earth’s crust from which lava and other igneous rock is formed on cooling (5) 25 Device with a small spike or a spiked wheel that is worn on a rider’s heel and used for urging a horse forward (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH S E M A NA S A N TA R E L I G I O S A H O LY W E E K ( E A S T E R )

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

geography QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Twelve 2. Naples 3. Lima 4. West Berlin 5. Peru 6. Cook Strait 7. USA (Arizona) 8. Spain 9. "Ironbridge, near Telford in Shropshire, England" 10. New Zealand 11. Devon 12. Grozny 13. Pakistan 14. Vietnam 15. Alton Towers

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across:1 Brass, 4 Straw boss, 9 Aft, 10 Lei, 11 Brocade, 12 Tail, 13 Petit point, 15 Solar, 16 Desecrate, 17 Adeptness, 21 Egret, 23 Ostracised, 24 Grub, 27 Epistle, 28/29 Gun dog, 30 Absorbent, 31 Busby. Down: 1 Bract, 2 Ant Hill, 3 Solo, 4 Stipend, 5 Robbins, 6 Woodpecker, 7 Ocarina, 8 Sweetmeat, 14 Protractor, 15 Soap opera, 18 Entails, 19 Evil eye, 20 Sleight, 22 Reredos, 25 Bogey, 26 Snob.

ceniza

domingo de ramos

misa santa

domingo resurreccion

Pentecostés

Felices pascuas

procesión

huevo de chocolate

resurrección

huevo de pascua

sábado de gloria

Miércoles de

viernes de pascua

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.cuaresma,

10.procesión, 11.resurrección,

g. resurrection, h.Whitsun,

2.domingo de ramos,

12.sábado de gloria,

i.Lent, j.Easter Sunday,

3.domingo resurrección,

13.viernes de pascua

k.Easter egg, l.Easter mass,

4.felices pascuas,

m.Easter Saturday,

5.huevo de chocolate,

a.Good Friday, b.procession,

6.huevo de pascua,

c.chocolate egg,

7.miércoles de ceniza,

d.Ash Wednesday,

8.misa santa, 9.pentecostés,

e.Happy Easter, f.Palm Sunday,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1i, 2f, 3j, 4e, 5c, 6k, 7d, 8l, 9h, 10b, 11g, 12m, 13a,

1. How many avenues radiate from the Arc de Triomphe? 2. If you landed at Capodichino airport where are you? 3. Which South American Capital City Is Also The Name For A Variety Of Bean? 4. What city is served by Tempelhof airport? 5. In which country is the Machu Picchu? 6. Name The Straight Between The North And South Islands Of New Zealand? 7. Where can you find the London bridge today? 8. To Which Country do The Balearic Islands Belong? 9. Where can you find the first iron bridge ever built? 10. Of Where Are The Maoris The Indigenous Population? 11. In which English county is Dartmoor? 12. What is the capital of Chechnya? 13. In what country is Lahore? 14. Hanoi Is The Capital Of Which Country? 15. What is built on the former home of the Earl of Shrewsbury?

cuaresma

Fill It In

Friday 18th September 2015 Aries March 21-April 20 Unexpected changes that affect your work or day-to-day routine could confront you with some kind of choice this week. They could turn out to be a blessing in disguise, so be flexible and do not try to swim against the tide. The position you are in is stronger than you think. You will make the right decisions if you trust your judgment now.

Taurus April 21-May 21 Finding new, constructive ways to use your creative talents should be your top priority in weeks to come, so do not be afraid to branch out on your own or listen to well-meant advice. The Sun’s eclipse this weekend stresses the importance of being independent and of breaking new, adventurous ground. Unexpected doors are due to open.

Gemini May 22-June 21 The Sun’s eclipse this weekend could trigger unexpected changes in your whole domestic situation. Better times now lie ahead, so be open to the possibilities around you and prepared to welcome the unknown. If you streamline your routine, you will be able to take full advantage of a lucky break that will put you in a very strong position.

Cancer June 22-July 23 If you trust your intuition and your sense of timing, you can find a way to banish someone’s doubts or overcome misunderstandings now. As a Cancerian, you usually prefer to take an indirect approach, but the Sun’s eclipse this weekend in your chart’s communication zone suggests the time has come to let down your defences. All you need to do is be yourself.

Leo July 24-August 23 Your current career goal is well within your reach, but do not try to go too far, too fast, or rely on others for advice this week. If you put your trust in your own judgment, you can make real progress, so do not be afraid to make a snap decision or to change your tactics. An important friendship also enters a new phase later in the week.

Virgo August 24-September 23 The Sun’s eclipse in Virgo this weekend helps you to see your situation from another angle. To take advantage of the opportunities the stars have got in store in months to come, you need to cut loose from restrictions and be decisive. New horizons beckon, so have the courage of your convictions.

Libra September 24-October 23 Reaching a more easygoing, open understanding with a friend or loved one should be your priority. From Thursday, Mercury starts stirring up confusion, so take decisive action before then. If you are diplomatic you can sidestep a potential problem. You could also find out something to your advantage, so keep your options open.

Scorpio October 24-November 22 Important changes in the company you keep are due from this weekend, when the Sun’s eclipse ushers in a more outgoing and expansive phase. New friends who have a lot to offer could make you see your current situation in a very different light, so do not limit your horizons, or let existing ties restrict your freedom. More exciting times now lie ahead.

Sagittarius November 23-December 21 Be flexible about career plans this week, or you could miss a chance to bring about some kind of breakthrough. Someone you spend time with now could also point you in a new direction. It may turn out to be the new way forward that you have been hoping for, so do not turn down an unexpected offer out of hand, or sell yourself too short.

Capricorn December 22 - January 20 An unexpected sequence of events could bring you a lot closer to your current goal this week. If you focus on the here and now instead of trying to plan too far ahead you can break a recent deadlock, or overcome misunderstandings that have held you back. A lot could hinge on how you play your hand, so be diplomatic but determined.

Aquarius January 21 - February 19 It seems that what you want from a close bond or an important friendship is changing, so let events unfold and make no new commitments yet. Because the Sun’s eclipse this weekend tunes you into your real feelings, you could also start to see a certain situation more clearly. A conversation later in the week could help you find the way ahead.

Pisces February 20 - March 20 The Sun’s eclipse this weekend falls in your chart’s zone of close relationships and longterm friendships. This is a time of growth, so be open to new people and ideas and be flexible about the future. But let no one put you under pressure to make new commitments yet. You will make the right decisions if you take each situation as it comes.

Friday 18th September 2015

Homes & Gardens+

Planning a Mini Garden over pallets you could obtain, perhaps for a small fee. These can be cut up and built together to form a whole range of fixtures and features. They can even be taken apart and rebuilt into frames. The pallet is our small-space garden super friend. Buckets and of course plant pots can also be staged by fixing them to balcony railings for example, and you may have seen old toilets being used too, although this might make you cringe if you´re going to grow food, you will of course clean your creations before consumption. With many of us adapting to living in smaller spaces when we moved to Spain, the idea of creating a garden oasis may not be quite as practical as in the lush green-gardened homes of the UK, but it is still possible in the smallest of spaces, with a little planning and thought. Moreover, the creation of our garden doesn´t have to be expensive, junk and leftover materials can be adapted for our purpose, and what´s more, it can save us money if we choose to fill our mini-garden with a choice of food. The first thing to do is allo-

In fact, any kind of receptacle can be adapted and converted to our garden, although weight is the primary element we must be aware of, the weight of the soil, the plants, the water all add up, and then we must add to that the weight of our crops prior to harvesting. Water drainage is also important, but if we plan our structure and think about this in advance, we can create a natural flow of the water through the different levels of our planters, and, if we are feeling really brave, can even make a feature of a mini waterfall, but let´s not run before we can walk.

cate space for our garden. The corner or side of a balcony could be ideal, or a windowsill, or even in the kitchen, although we have to be aware that not all plants will thrive indoors. Once we have allocated a space, we need to decide on the spread. Vertical gardening is all the rage these days, and there is no reason why we can´t follow suit. Tomatoes are known for growing upwards, with assistance, but a range of herbs can also be given paths to grow as well. We can stage our gardens into steps. Perhaps a local business has some left

Breezeblocks and bricks are another favourite, although with these we have to really think about the weight problem. One false move could bring them crashing down around our feet, especially perhaps in a heavy downpour. However, combining brick and wood can also lend an air of style to your garden. You could feature in seats and benches, maybe even a table and absorb yourself

into this newly created, living and breathing space. All you need is a little inspiration, some scrap pieces of material, and the intention to create something that will not only transform a small and redundant space, it can save you money and can also go some small way to helping the environment as your garden will become a elemental haven of your local ecosystem.

Veg of the Month - Broccoli

Easy Tips for Growing Broccoli at Home! Raising broccoli in your vegetable garden is actually quite simple, believe it or not! Adding broccoli to your organic home garden has many advantages, whether you are planning a small raised bed, or traditional inground vegetable garden. Broccoli is easy to fit into your vegetable garden design or layout. You can harvest this wonder plant in as little as 55 days and yet continue to harvest for many more weeks to come. Even if you’re a beginner in the garden, you can cultivate broccoli with little difficulty!

Broccoli is a cool season plant like cabbage, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts. Broccoli plants will not tolerate hot weather, but will immediately "go to flower" (which means you won't enjoy eating it!) It prefers daytime high temperatures of 50-70 degrees F. If your winter temperature doesn't go below 20 degrees F., it can be planted in the autumn and will be ready to mature in the cooler weather of spring and early summer. For beginners, the following varieties are recommended for ease of cultivation: Green Goliath – bred for the home gardener, it yields

side shoots to harvest even after the centre flower has been picked. Cruiser – this thrives even in dry conditions with highyield harvests after 58 days. Green Comet – with its very early maturity and vigorous characteristics, it can be harvested after only 55 days. Planting Guide for Growing Broccoli Sprouts You’ll have to look for a location with good air circulation and soil drainage as well plenty of direct sunlight when growing broccoli. Broccoli will grow much better in rich soil with added compost, humus, or aged manure worked into the soil. Also, it is important that no other cabbage family

plants like Brussels sprouts have been planted in the same spot for 3-4 years prior to planting broccoli. Planting Broccoli Seeds If you plan to apply the direct-sowing method to growing broccoli, which will work for autumn plantings, you must plant the seeds directly into the soil about 90 days prior to the first frost at depths of ¼-½ inches. Transplanting Broccoli Seedlings If you use the transplanting method, you will want to plant the seeds in indoor trays about 5-6 weeks prior to the last frost. You can then transplant the young plants in the early spring with 18-24 inches clearance between plants. If you are planting several plants, you might want to stagger the plantings by several weeks so that all of your plants are not ready for harvest at the same time. If you have more broccoli ready to harvest than you can eat, you can blanch it in boiling water, and put it in the freezer for later use. Whatever method used, you need to allocate 36 inches of space between rows. This is necessary because broccoli plants can grow up to 3 feet in height and are very heavy feeders, which means that they need

space and enriched soil to grow well. Top Tips As most home gardeners can tell you from experience, growing broccoli is a relatively easy undertaking. Often, you just plant it in the prepared enriched soil, sprinkle starter fertilizer and provide ample water and you’re done in about 2-3 months! There are, however, tips to yield better and bigger broccoli heads. First, you need to add compost as topdressing when the central flower/head measures an inch in diameter. Just sprinkle around the plant’s base but never against the stem. Second, always ensure

ample moisture by giving the plant 1-2 inches of water per week during dry weather. However, you must never water the head as you can encourage flowering, which is definitely not desired in broccoli cultivation. Third, you have to mulch to maximize moisture retention as well as to prevent weed growth. Growing broccoli also means that you may want to install cardboard collars to prevent cutworms from eating the plant and row covers for protection against the cold. And that’s about it! You can start harvesting your delicious broccoli and enjoy eating the fruits of your labour in your favourite recipe.

Homes & Gardens+

Friday 18th September 2015

The Future of Flooring Today and requirements, in detail, and according to your budget, making sure the right choice is made and ensuring the product ticks all the boxes. The surface itself has been independently tested in accordance with Critical Fall Height (BS EN 1177), Resistance to Abrasive Wear (BS 7188), Slip Resistance BS 7188), Resistance to Indentation (BS 7188), and Flammability (BS 7188) standards, so you are sure that quality is key. The surface installed is environmentally friendly, Having only recently launched in Spain, one of the most popular additions to pool and play areas appearing through the summer has been “Wet Lay Rubber” surfaces provided

by Active Surfaces CB. After several years experience laying this product in the U.K. , the company thought it high time the product was brought to the Spanish market, where the

heat can often lead to hardened surfaces, and solid tiles and concrete are often the norm. Unlike those hard and slippy surfaces, the flooring installed by Active Surfaces is a solid coloured granule composition which will leave a smooth textured surface which is soft and cool to walk on in all weathers. The team know their stuff too and their professional supervisor will be in attendance with their installation team and their hands-on experience will ensure the surface you have purchased will be completed to the highest standards. Prior to installation the surveyor will discuss meeting your individual needs

hard wearing, impact absorbing and easy to clean and is suitable for a wide range of different areas, including pool and play areas, golf courses, gardens, driveways, football pitches and sports grounds and the home. You can actually see a sample in a live display at Victoria´s Tea Room in Almoradí, located on Calle Pablo Picasso no 5 (Close to the Ayuntamiento / Town Square), so you can pop along, see the surfacing on site, and enjoy some refreshments at the same time.

What´s more, Active Surfaces will back up your purchase with a 5 year guarantee against fair wear and tear, so your installation is all set to last well into the future. For more information you can visit their website, www. activesurfaces.es, or call 662 679 467, and listen to TKO radio on 90.8 or 91.9 fm for the latest special offers as Active Surfaces CB are the proud sponsor of the Who´s on TKO Mystery Voice competition, where you can win cash for guessing who is saying a short phrase.

Friday 18th September 2015

Homes & Gardens+

Friday 18th September 2015

top

Friday 18th September 2015

Motoring+

Catch It Then Cook It

Eating sushi all wrong!

How To Smoke Your Own Fish

Desserts

Baked Apple 1 apple, 1 package sugarfree cherry gelatin, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tbsp lite whipped topping, 1 tbsp chopped walnuts. Directions Take on package of gelatin, make as directed. Add cinnamon. Peel and core an apple, add to gelatin mixture and cook on stovetop low-medium heat for 15 minutes. Turn apple over and cook additional 10 minutes. Remove from heat. Remove apple from mixture place in bowl. Add cool whip, walnuts and enjoy warm or cold. Caramelized Pears with Toasted Almonds and Yogurt 3 ripe pears, scrubbed, quartered, cored and thinly sliced 1 tablespoon firmly packed brown sugar, 1 tablespoon unblanched almonds, sliced 1/2 cup lowfat vanilla yogurt. Directions Heat the broiler. Arrange the pears in a shallow, flameproof dish in concentric circles, slightly overlapping each other. Sprinkle with the brown sugar. Boil for 5 minutes. Sprinkle with the almonds and broil for about 1 minute or until almonds turn golden. Top each serving with a dollop of vanilla yogurt.!

Smoked food is having a moment. From Americanstyle barbecue festivals such as Grillstock in London, A magical alchemy takes place when salt and woodsmoke combine with fish: first we savour it through our sense of smell, then it ignites the taste buds, in a way that frying, roasting or steaming simply does not match. You can build your own stove-top smoker by placing wood chips in the bottom of a roasting pan, covering with a sheet of foil, a wire rack on top and a snugly fitting foil hat or lid. He suggests starting off by hot smoking fattier fish such as mackerel or salmon, which absorb smoke well, and experimenting with a variety of wood shavings from whisky barrel chips to hick-

ory. You can even smoke fish over hay. If you prefer more help to fan the flames, Kitchin recommends a trip to your local fisherman’s shop for the best home-smoking kit. “That’s what the fishermen do – they catch their trout and smoke it for lunch on the shore,” he says. “You need something sturdy that won’t buckle under the heat. You can buy a great little hot-smoking unit which is portable, and comes with a grill and a sliding lid.” Cold-smoking, where the fish is cured and smoked in a cold area, is a more complex method, and requires specialised equipment, so it’s best left to the experts, unless you have a good amount of outdoor space to devote to it. After salting, with the bones left in to enhance

flavour, whole sides of salmon are hung by hand to allow the smoke to permeate the flesh. Smoked salmon became the first British homegrown gourmet food, and if done properly it still is that today. People can’t get enough of it. SMOKING TIPS Before hot-smoking fish it must be brined, rubbed or marinated. For mackerel, cover in salt half an hour before smoking, wash it off, dry and rub with olive oil. For salmon use a brine or rub it with dill and mustard seed or crushed coriander seeds. Then smoke for 1012 minutes at roughly 160C. Try other ingredients including lemon zest or sweet smoked paprika. Only use clean hardwoods such as oak or apple. Softwood such as pine will give a nasty taste.

We can't get enough raw fish and vinegared rice: the UK sushi market is worth £38.9 million per annum. Itsu has 50 sushi restaurants in London, while Wasabi has 35 and 65 of YO! Sushi’s 75 outlets are based in the UK, serving over 5 million customers a year. But are we eating it all wrong? You see, there is strict etiquette to follow when eating sushi. Here are some tips to help you maximise your sushi experience. 1. Eat cut sushi rolls with your hands. If you struggle to use chopsticks this traditional method will allow you to enjoy your meal without dropping the sushi. 2. Eat cut rolls in one bite. It is considered rude to bite the roll in half as the chef spent time making the sushi perfect. If it is too big to eat in one go, tell the chef and he can make adjustments. 3. Never combine ginger and sushi. Ginger is meant to cleanse the palette between bites. It is bad manners to eat the ginger with sushi. 4. Take care not to add too much soy sauce when dipping your roll.

You should add just enough to taste the soy sauce but not enough to overwhelm the flavour. 5. Only dip the fish in soy sauce when eating nigiri (raw fish over pressed vinegared rice). Tokyo sushi chef Naomichi Yasuda says: “The most important element of sushi is rice. Rice is the main ingredient. People talk about the fish, but the fish is the second ingredient.” The rice holds the sushi together. It requires careful preparation to create the perfect texture using a precise combination of vinegar and temperature. You should use chopsticks, or your hands, to turn the sushi on its side and then dip only the fish in soy sauce, not the rice. Do not shake soy sauce off the sushi after dipping. 6. The perfect amount of wasabi has already been included in nigiri, but if you want more, add only a small amount. It is considered rude to add a great dollop of extra wasabi. If you take too much wasabi and your mouth feels like it's on fire, breathe through your nose to get rid of the burning feeling.

Food & Drink

Friday 18th September 2015

Britain's big appetite for gourmet takeaway

Alongside kebabs and pizzas, many diners are looking for something classier

In 2001 when banker Will Shu was working on Wall Street, one of the “perks” of doing a 100-hour week was the point in the evening when someone brought out the book of menus from some of New York’s nicest restaurants and ordered dinner for everyone. They would stop work, gather in a meeting room and eat and chat. When he was posted to London in 2004, he was disappointed to find British bankers didn’t do that sort of thing. Of course you could order a takeaway pizza or a bog-standard Chinese meal, but not the kind of quality cooking he was used to. Shu finally launched Deliveroo in 2013, to link up customers with restaurants that didn’t traditionally offer takeaway food. It took a while to convince restau-

rants, worried they would be listed alongside greasy takeaways, to sign up but now the company, which operates in 19 cities in the UK, has more than 2,000 restaurants including Wagamama, Gourmet Burger Kitchen and its first Michelin-starred place, Trishna. In the first half of this year, daily orders grew by 500%. The food and grocery delivery market is booming. Last year, more than $1bn in the US alone was invested in online companies promising to improve the way we eat at home. These start-ups, in the vanguard of what is being called “fast food 2.0”, could even be, if you believe some of those involved, the future of how we eat. It’s not entirely unrealistic – as populations increasingly become more urbanised, space will become ever more cramped (and expensive), with future kitchen areas barely big enough for a kettle. Longer working hours could mean less interest in cooking after a day at work. In the US, other companies cook and deliver the

food themselves, including Munchery, which operates in four cities, and Sprig, which specialises in organic meals. Earlier this year, Maple, a delivery-only restaurant (if that isn’t an oxymoron), launched in New York. Founded by the Momofuku restaurateur David Chang, it promises good food delivered within 30 minutes. Big players have also moved into food – Uber, the on-demand taxi service, now also runs UberEats, using its network to deliver food from restaurants to customers in parts of the US, Canada and Spain. There is clearly a hunger for all of this, especially in markets used to ordering takeaways, such as the UK, US and Australia. Other parts of Europe, such as France and Italy, don’t have a strong takeaway culture, while street food is more common than home delivery in much of Asia. Lunch for thousands of office workers in Mumbai is the opposite of what takeaway means for most of us – a network of couriers known as dabbawalas collect tiffin

boxes packed with homecooked food from about 200,000 homes every day and deliver them to workers. But the UK is a takeaway nation. One study by the market research company Mintel found 23% of adults order a takeaway once a week or more, and 33% order one at least every month. They also asked if people would pay more for a takeaway meal cooked from scratch, from good ingredients, and found 16% would (rising to 21% of high earners). JustEat, one of the giants in online takeaway ordering, recently reported that orders and pre-tax profits were up 50% in the first half of this year – and of the countries it operates in, the UK is its most lucrative market. What is driving the growth? “I think it’s a few things,” says Helena Childe, senior food service analyst at Mintel. “You’ve got longer-term trends, such as the casualisation of dining out, whereas going out for dinner used to be more formal. Now increasingly, people are grabbing a snack on the move. So it’s partly consumer-driven. Then from an operator’s perspective, it’s about looking at ways to grow their markets.” She points to companies such as Starbucks, McDonald’s and Burger King which are all trialling delivery services as an example of how even the biggest existing companies are moving into this area. But the booming food delivery market isn’t just for cooked meals – a number of companies are offering a delivery of ingredients and

recipes for customers to assemble at home. The food and grocery sector, points out Ed Boyes, CEO of the UK arm of HelloFresh, is one huge area that has yet to be “fundamentally challenged by innovative online models”. HelloFresh sends 4m meals each month to its subscribers in the UK, US, Australia and parts of Europe. The people who order the boxes are diverse, from young professional couples and busy suburban families, to retired people who want to try new things. “Generally over the last few decades, people have been focused on convenience,” he says. “In that quest for convenience lots of the traditional values around food, especially cooking, have been lost and that’s where we see HelloFresh – [it] allows customers to recapture those values, knowing who your suppliers are and eating together as a family, but in a much more convenient format.” You can question how many families can afford to

eat like this – a HelloFresh box of three meals for two people won’t leave you much change from £40 – but he insists they have compared like with like (his suppliers are high quality, for instance) and that the supermarket versions are often more expensive, “and that’s not including the fact you get someone doing the planning and shopping for you. The reason we can do that is the business model is a weekly subscription service and we provide customers with only the exact quantities they need to cook with, which means there is no waste in the supply chain.” He believes, he says, “this concept has the potential to become the dominant way in which people cook and eat in the evening together.” Inevitably there will be casualties in this fast-developing sector, especially in a country where “takeaway” still means a curry or kebab – one high profile company was Housebites, where chefs cooked and delivered their home-cooked food, but it closed in 2013.

Health

Friday 18th September 2015

Five fitness tips that could prevent poor health in old age The good news is that we're all living longer; the bad news is more of us will be living with ill health

The problem with fat (subcutaneous not dietary) is that it encourages binary thinking. If you can fit into an aeroplane seat or those jeans you've had for a decade, it's easy to assume you're winning: you aren't part of this obesity crisis everyone's talking about. Eat less, move more; it's not complicated. Whatever you're doing works all right. You don't have to worry.

You’re fine. Well, sorry: you do have to worry. We all have to worry. We’re all going to live longer - according to the Office of National Statistics, as a man you can expect to hit 79 – and, while that’s good news, there’s a decent chance that, without taking steps to prevent it, you’ll spend those bonus years in depressingly poor health. "The increase in healthy life expectancy has

not been as dramatic as the growth of life expectancy," write researchers in a recent edition of online medical health journal the Lancet. "And as a result, people are living more years with illness and disability." Meet Britain's fastest nonagenarian So: let’s assume you’re not medically-definably fat. Congratulations! Perhaps you’ve snuck under the wire of the outmoded BMI system, which doesn’t take muscle into account and will happily classify you as ‘obese’ even if you’re built like an Incredible Hulk-era Lou Ferrigno. Hopefully you’re actually using your body fat percentage as a measure instead, and you’re somewhere in the 8-19 per cent range that the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition considers ‘healthy’. At the very least, let’s assume your waist circum-

ference is less than half your height, which most health professionals consider to be a decent marker of longevity. If you’re simply pulling that off through fortuitous genetics and no exercise ever, well, there’s no reason to be smug: if you want to spend your last days on the planet getting off the toilet unassisted, there’s more you can do. Here’s your five-step plan Walk around more It’s arguably better than running. It’s low-stress, lowimpact, easy to incorporate into your daily routine, and studies have linked it to everything from improved heart health to a decreased risk of stroke. Those advice columns suggesting getting off the bus/Tube early might seem ridiculous – why would you intentionally make your commute longer? - but even a little bit helps. 10,000 steps a day – often suggested as the critical point for serious

health change – is a bit more than two miles. Figure out a way to get there. Do the ‘Batwing’ - Years of hunching forward – whether over your laptop, phone or desk – are tightening your muscles and giving you an old-man hunch. Fix it with an exercise you can do in the time it takes to boil a kettle: without getting sweaty or crawling on the floor. To do the Batwing, stand a foot or so from a wall and lean back against it. Press your elbows into the wall and bring your thumbs to your armpits. Build some strength Running isn’t enough: there’s good evidence that resistance exercise - the strengthbuilding sort – will strengthen bones, reduce the risk of osteoperosis in and even lessen your chances of getting dementia. Stand up four times an hour You’ve heard the muttering

about chairs: they constrict circulation, cause tightening of the muscles, send your glutes to sleep – but if you’re not at the sort of progressive company that encourages walk-along meetings and standing desks, what’s to be done? The simplest fix is to stand up occasionally: just getting to your feet for a second, bracing your abs and sitting back down is enough to undo some of the damage. Do ‘loaded carries’ Just wandering around with a heavy backpack on is arguably better than a bench-press session: they’ll activate more muscles, force your lower back to work, and improve your grip. Find a way to incorporate them into your life: whether that’s a big shop a couple of times a week, helping friends move house, or taking more stuff to walk than you strictly need. Remember: your weekly Ocado delivery is killing you.

Excess sugar in food and drink needs tackling by law High sugar content in our food and drinks, is a sugar tax the answer? A decade on from his school dinners campaign, Jamie Oliver is back fighting a new war, this time against unhealthy levels of sugar in the nation’s diet. Once again, Oliver’s battles

against vested interests and public ennui makes for an entertaining narrative. As Oliver acknowledges, if school dinners was Star Wars, then Sugar Rush, his documentary to be broad-

cast this week, is The Empire Strikes Back. Oliver is genuinely alarmed by the impact that sugar is having on the young – and with good reason. That there is an epi-

demic of bad teeth and type-2 diabetes, costing the NHS billions a year, is not disputed. That it is on the rise is equally accepted. What is up for discussion, however, is the best way of combating these problems. Oliver’s favoured weapon is a 20% levy on sugar-sweetened drinks, something that in places as diverse as Mexico, Finland and Hungary is credited with encouraging consumers to switch to healthier beverages. Not everyone agrees. The Food and Drink Federation counters that, after an initial fall when a similar measure was introduced in France, consumption of soft drinks rose. There will be plenty such counter-arguments thrown at Oliver as the soft drinks industry seeks to destroy his arguments. Nevertheless, many experts, including the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, now believe a tax is one of many measures that should be considered if the UK is to lose its sweet tooth. Historically, the sugar industry has proved adept at portraying any attack on it as an attack on consumer freedom, a strategy employed by big tobacco. But for too long the industry has successfully obfuscat-

ed the debate around what constitutes healthy levels of sugar in a diet. It seems astonishing, bordering on the archaic, that the UK has maximum sugar guidelines for adults but no specific equivalent for children. Oliver’s latest crusade encourages us to ask important questions. May the force be with him.

Health DR MACHI MANNU

Friday 18th September 2015 Contact@medb.es

Website: www.medb.es

Food Poisoning, the causes, symptoms and treatments Food poisoning is a very common, yet distressing and sometimes life-threatening problem for millions of people throughout the world. Most cases of food poisoning occur when people eat food or drink water containing bacteria, parasites, or viruses or their toxins. Food poisoning can also occur when non-infectious poisons or heavy metals find their way into the

stomach. Illnesses due to food poisoning are usually mild and improve without any specific treatment. Food poisoning also occurs when we ingest contaminated food or water. Cross-contamination is often the cause, especially with raw foods, such as salads. Because these foods are not cooked, harmful organisms are not destroyed before eating

and can cause food poisoning. Almost all forms of food poisoning produce nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, and diarrhoea. The bacterial causes of food poisoning tend to cause these symptoms as well as fever and headache. Symptoms can start within hours to days after eating the contaminated food and last from a day to a week.

Food poisoning can affect the central nervous system and cause symptoms typical of nerve poisons. Eating shellfish contaminated with saxitoxin, for example, will produce weakness or paralysis around the mouth in a few minutes, which slowly spreads to the rest of the body. Mushroom and insecticide poisoning also attacks the nervous system. The treatment of food poisoning depends on the cause and severity. For most people, food poisoning resolves quickly without treatment. Those with mild diarrhoea lasting less than 24 hours should drink lots of clear fluids such as oral replacement solutions that contain the right balance of water, salts and glucose. People with severe symptoms or severe dehydration may require hospital admission for intravenous rehydration.

More severe cases of food poisoning may require admission into an intensive care unit. To minimize your risk of infections you should Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds before and after handling food, after using the bathroom, changing diapers, or touching animals. FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745.

Friday 18th September 2015

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

TIP: If you remember previously I have published instructions on how to book a medical appointment online. Well today I received a great tip from Jonathon for renewing European Health Cards on-line, it’s another great way to use your computer to help save the time and hassle of queuing at official buildings. 1.Open up a web browser (this seems to work better with Internet Explorer as other 3. Click on “Acceso al servicio” and then the “Solicitar / Renovar Tarjeta Sanitaria” browsers pick up on the security certificate warning) and navigate to www.seg- button at the bottom of the page. social.es

4. Complete the form with your personal details and click on the “Aceptar” button and your cards should be posted to you within 10 days.

2. In the bottom right hand part of the website is a link to “Tarjeta Sanitaria Europea” – click this link and a new page will open (don’t be tempted to click on the British flag on this page as it will take you to a different page)

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Friday 18th September 2015

Golden Leaves International Acquires Millie Munro Services!

Golden Leaves International, a market leading Funeral plan and Health insurance provider serving the expatriate communities of Spain is expanding its current operations. As part of Golden Leaves International’s continued expansion, they have purchased Millie Munro Services, a well established Insurance business that has been trading for nearly 14 years, providing Health insurance and funeral plans products to expatriates living in the Costa Blanca.

All new and existing clients will still receive the same continued level of exemplary support from the Golden Leaves / MMS team now and going forwards. Millie Munro has been working in a consultancy capacity throughout the last 12 months, helping smooth the business’s journey through this transitional period. “We are extremely happy to have acquired the MMS business as it has had a reputation for providing a superior standard of client advice and after sales service to its

extensive client base. An approach that is in direct harmony with our own well known and impeccable customer service standards. It is the first of many planned acquisitions by us as we move to further consolidate our business footprint in the expatriate marketplace” Barry Floyd – Managing Director of Golden Leaves International. The increased upturn in business throughout the Costa Blanca has necessitated that Golden Leaves International which now incorporated MMS has relocated to new and larger office premises in Javea, situated in the Arenal at Avenida De La Pla 123 – 125, Edificio Caribe, Locale 1 Javea 03730 Alicante. Tel. 0034 966 493 082 Golden Leaves International extend an open invitation to all our recent and any existing MMS clients to visit the new offices, have a cup of tea and meet their new support team in their new Javea home! The Golden Leaves International Team.

Beach and Breakfast

Citroën is offering the public a chance to win a unique experience with a competition launched on its social networks and the website beachandbreakfast.cool. The prize is a “Beach & Breakfast” weekend in its latest concept car, the fantastc and futuristic looking Cactus M. This offbeat outing promises fun and relaxation for the lucky winner. The competition is running in seven countries until 16 October. This is the first time a carmaker has offered the public a chance to hop aboard its latest concept car and go for a spin. The

“Beach & Breakfast” weekend is an original take on the more mundane “Bed & Breakfast” travel. The winner of the contest will receive an exceptional weekend for two in a Cactus M on the seaside, sleeping under the concept car’s integrated tent and getting an introduction to some exciting sports. This unique “Feel Good” opportunity is 100% Citroën. The competition is being run in seven countries, including Spain, as well as France, Germany, Italy, the UK, Belgium/Luxembourg, and the Netherlands, from 15 September to 16 October. The competition is hosted on

a special website, beachandbreakfast.cool, which has a URL presented by emojis.ws. To participate, all contestants need to do is explain in a few lines why they want to go on this adventure. They can then share their entry on social media to boost their chances of winning by collecting their friends’ votes. The Cactus M concept is a fresh, “outdoor” version of the Citroën C4 Cactus that embodies the spirit of the legendary Méhari. Unveiled on 02 September, it has made its public debut at the Frankfurt Motor Show which started on Thursday.

Friday 18th September 2015

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self-employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

CARS Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party! Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. Call Our Team Now on Tel: 966 923 963 Car document transfers same day provisional certificate. No trafico visit required. Torrevieja based office. Call Today 966 923 963.

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning. They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org. International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

INSURANCE

criminal defence, Spanish Wills. Tel: on 966 923 963

CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral. Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

TUITION

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNATIONAL MEDIA needs selfemployed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

Guitar lessons for beginners, as well as improvers. Provide an insight into most musical styles. From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja. English and Maths tuition. Experienced teacher offers tuition to all ages . All levels from age 6. Excellent references available. For further information please e-mail costablancavista@gmail.co m or call 698 363 456. Experienced quizmaster/question setter with

SERVICES

QUIZZES

Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel:- 664 838 581

SOLICITORS

REMOVALS

Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with Spanish Wills, debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud,

Van leaving SPAIN to UK on the 5th of October Space available. Please Telephone Today 722711998 or 0044 7552985343 or email keithmarion9@yahoo.co.uk

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Friday 18th September 2015

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Friday 18th September 2015

Walker Walkover

The British and Irish team under captain Nigel Edwards had a great time of it last weekend to regain the premier amateur team contest, The Walker Cup, with a lot of style and ease. The brightest and best young players in the British game defeated a winning margin of 16.5 to 9.5 points, big by any standard! Led by the US Amateur champion Bryson DeChambeau and Open Silver Medal winner Jordan Niebrugge, Team America were expected to put up a stiff challenge in their defence of the Walker Cup,

but it wasn’t to be. The GB&I team stamped their authority early on Sunday’s final day at Royal Lytham & St Annes by winning the morning foursomes by a score of three-one. Team captain and Walker Cup veteran Nigel Edwards had told his players to enjoy the experience of playing in the tournament, and in the early September sun on the Lancashire coast, the GB&I team did just that. The unbeaten double European Amateur champion Ashley Chesters was the first to return a point in the after-

noon, with a 3&1 victory over Niebrugge, while the decisive points quickly followed over a devastating 20-minute period. Edwards had gone for the jugular by sending his best players out first, with Jimmy Mullen and Cormac Sharvin following Chesters’ lead in winning their matches, while Paul Dunne was the first to make it down the 18th hole as he halved his match with Maverick McNealy to get GB&I over the winning line. The morning foursomes saw GB&I build a four-point lead, with the pairing of Ashley Chesters and Jimmy

Mullen turning their match around to win 3&2, and 54hole Open leader Paul Dunne and Gary Hurley winning their match, despite trailing at the 14th hole. Brabazon winner Cormac Sharvin and his University of Stirling roommate Jack McDonald, who had only played together once before, were never behind in their match and Edwards said: “It was a good morning because at one point it could have been 3-1 the other way. “Ashley and Jimmy really turned the screw on them and coming down those closing holes they did really well. Gary and Paul just do what they do – they just hang in there and got the win in the end.” Given the poor weather conditions on Saturday morning, Team America will not have been too disappointed to finish Saturday with the score at 7-5. Especially as it could have been even better for the home team, who at one point were up or level in all eight matches. GB & Ireland have now won two of the last six outings with

Lydia Ko’s Evian Championship win in France last Sunday has made her the youngest female major winner. The New Zealander is 18 years and four months old, six months younger than

the previous record holder Morgan Pressel. Ko shot a final round of 63 to finish six shots clear of America’s Lexi Thompson, who will feature for Juli Inkster’s United States team in the Solheim

Cup this weekend. With eight birdies and no dropped shots during the final round, Ko made her move into the record books comfortably. Afterwards she admitted she was pleased to now not have to answer any more questions about becoming the youngest major winner. Speaking about her feelings on the final green, she said: “I didn’t totally cry-cry. But I kind of got a little overwhelmed, and I could kind of feel tears coming when Jason [Hamilton, her caddie] said, enjoy the moment,

coming down onto the green.” “I kind of felt back over the whole week and all the questions I’ve been asked. But in a way I was relieved. But to kind of have that putt go in, I think just everything dropped.” Ko was also the youngest player in the sport to become world number one back in February, when she topped the rankings aged 17. Inbee Park, winner of two majors this year, finished tied in eight spot and 11 shots back from Ko.

Ko’s Knock-Out Win

Ivie Davies on Golf

Edwards leading the team in both successes. Now we have the top lady profession-

als to look forward this weekend with the Solheim Cup in Germany!

Monty Battles Away Colin Montgomerie became the first player to win three events in succession on both the European Tour and the Senior Tour, with his recent victory in the Travis Perkins Masters at Woburn securing him this unique position in the history of golf. And it didn’t come easy, as he had to win a play-off against fellow Scot, Ross Drummond. He needed an 18-foot birdie putt on the second extra hole to secure his victory, and his place in history. He will now keep the trophy permanently, which is a nice touch from the organisers. Monty won the PGA Championship on the main tour three times between 1998 and 2000, and then this event in 2013, 2014, 2015. He came to Woburn with a lot of pressure on him as the favourite to win and it's sometimes difficult and harder to achieve when something is expected of you. And he certainly proved that point! He was having some putting issues coming in and three putted the tenth and 17th and missed a 'gimmee' for a birdie at the 15th. He heard that Ross had bogeyed the 18th and it

gave him a chance to birdie the last to get into a play-off. That wasn't easy, knowing you need a birdie and achieving it to get into a play-off. Then he managed that birdie on the second play-off hole. He was very fortunate to come away with a win. It wasn’t such a good day for Drummond, who had victory within his grasp, until he three putted the final green, which let Monty into a play-off. Drummond has had 490 starts on The European Tour and 125 on the Senior Tour, but had never won. He really did miss his chance to take his first ever title at the tender age of 58 years and 281 days. Monty knew on the 18th that nothing less than a birdie would do, and pumped it 270 yards to within 15 paces of the green. He chipped to two feet, and holed his putt. Poor Scott Drummond! 28 years on tour, and to lose to Monty in such cruel fashion. Even Monty looked a bit embarrassed. There were no reports of butterflies being in the area, which I think could have made all the difference to Monty’s concentration.

TITTER ON THE TEE KNOW YOUR RULES Ray stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked, 'What the hell is taking so long?' 'My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,' Ray explained. 'I want to make a perfect shot.' His companion said, 'Forget it. You don't have a chance in hell of hitting her from here.'

QUESTION

A player’s ball is lying on a slope in play. When he addresses the ball it moves and comes to rest out of bounds. What is the ruling? A: The player’s ball is out of bounds and therefore he must proceed under Rule 27.1 B: The player incurs no penalty C: The player incurs a one stroke penalty and must replace the ball

ANSWER

C: Rule 18-b. The player incurs a one stroke penalty and must replace the ball

The Courier Sport

Arise Aru

Friday 18th September 2015

Home Run Over

CD TORREVIEJA 0 ALZIRA 1

Barclays Premier League Saturday 19 September

13:45 Chelsea v Arsenal 16:00 Aston Villa v West Bromwich Albion 16:00 Bournemouth v Sunderland 16:00 Newcastle United v Watford 16:00 Stoke City v Leicester City 16:00 Swansea City v Everton 18:30 Manchester City v West Ham United

Sunday 20 September

14:30 Tottenham Hotspur v Crystal Palace 17:00 Liverpool v Norwich City 17:00 Southampton v Manchester United

Sky Bet Championship Friday 18 September

20:45 Ipswich v Birmingham City

Saturday 19 September

Italian Fabio Aru won the Vuelta a Espana on Sunday in Madrid, with the Astana rider doing the damage on Saturday, when he attacked previous leader Tom Dumoulin in the mountains. With a lead of more than a minute, Aru only needed to avoid a mishap on the final 99km stage around Madrid. He managed it easily, smiling broadly as he finished 57 seconds ahead of Joaquim Rodriguez in the general classification as Germany's John Degenkolb took the stage win. The 25-year-old from Sardinia went one better than the second-placed finish behind his idol Alberto Contador at this year’s Giro d’Italia to confirm his status as one of the hottest up-and-coming riders in the sport. He is the youngest winner of the Vuelta since the Spaniard Melchor Mauri won in 1991. “Today a dream came true, a dream I’ve had since I was a child,” Aru said. “I’m very emotional, very proud,” he added. “I have to thank my teammates, they always believed in me and I dedicate this win to them and to m y family. It’s been a very hard Vuelta but I’m sure the public have liked it. It’s been spectacular.” Joaquim Rodríguez of Spain was second overall for Katusha, 57 seconds adrift of Aru, with Poland’s Rafal Majka of TinkoffSaxo a further 12 seconds behind in third as Germany’s John Degenkolb of GiantAlpecin won Sunday’s

sprint finish. Aru was not even Astana’s leader when the three-week race began but moved into contention after his compatriot Vincenzo Nibali, the 2014 Tour de France champion who won the Vuelta in 2010, was disqualified for hanging on to the team car after a crash on the second stage. Aru’s chances were further boosted on the 11th stage when Chris Froome’s bid for a rare Tour-Vuelta double was ended by a heavy fall that left the British Team Sky leader with a fractured bone in a foot and forced his withdrawal. The Dutchman Tom Dumoulin was the surprise leader by six seconds over Aru heading into Saturday’s decisive penultimate stage after a scorching performance in Wednesday’s time-trial. But Aru and his Astana colleagues wrecked the Giant-Alpecin’s rider’s chances of a podium finish when they left him flailing on the third of four ascents and he dropped down to sixth overall as Aru grabbed the red jersey. “This is not just a triumph for Fabio Aru, this is about the victory

Manager Pedreño’s undefeated home record since he took over earlier in the year went down the drain last Sunday thanks to a soft goal from a 64th minute corner which saw Fran race to the near post unaccompanied and with a deft flick skim it past Oscar. Unhappy fans are now looking for excuses and plenty abound if you are inclined to be an apologist who has witnessed the side’s worst ever start to a season. Torry have been beaten by three of the better teams in the group, all of whom seem likely to be play-off contenders, with Ontinyent surging clear at the top with a 100% record. But let's be honest, it is the team's failure to land a blow on opposing keepers that remains at the heart of Torry's woes. The manager paired Allen and Cesar up front and although both were lively (especially Allen), but neither really troubled a

defence that leaked six goals in their last two league matches. Quintero is painfully one paced and needs to give way to a no nonsense pairing in the middle of the back four of Jorge and Martin. This pair started as the midfield combination and although they are tough, gritty and hard to beat, they lack the creative know how that midfielders must have. Juanma remains lightweight and ineffective, whilst "saviour" Juanfran is more a battering ram than a skilled marksman. Jorge and Vicente, along with Martin and Oscar give everything and deserve better companions. Allen needs the right service and once getting this will knock them in. Adrian remains consistently good and the manager must now build his side around this core, forgetting the big summer signings, who simply have not performed, with Wednesday’s match at Villarreal to come.

So Near, So Far

VILLAREAL C 0 CD TORREVIEJA 0

13:30 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Nottingham Forest v Middlesbrough Blackburn Rovers v Charlton Athletic Brentford v Preston North End Bristol City v Reading Huddersfield Town v Bolton Wanderers Hull City v Queens Park Rangers MK Dons v Leeds United Rotherham United v Cardiff City Sheffield Wednesday v Fulham Wolverhampton Wanderers v Brighton

Sunday 20 September

13:00 Bradford City v Sheffield United

Monday 21 September 20:45 Derby County v Burnley

Thursday 24 September

20:45 Huddersfield Town v Nottingham Forest

Scottish Premiership Saturday 19 September 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Ross County v Partick Thistle Kilmarnock v St. Johnstone Hamilton Academical v Motherwell Dundee Utd v Inverness Caledonian Thistle

Sunday 20 September 15:15 Heart of Midlothian v Aberdeen 16:00 Celtic v Dundee

Spanish La Liga Saturday 19 September 16:00 18:15 20:30 22:00

Real Madrid v Granada CF Valencia CF v Real Betis Eibar v Atlético de Madrid Real Sociedad v Espanyol

Sunday 20 September 12:00 16:00 18:15 20:30 20:30

Sevilla v Celta de Vigo Deportivo de La Coruña v Sporting de Gijón Villarreal v Athletic Club Barcelona v Levante Las Palmas v Rayo Vallecano

Wednesday 23 September

20:00 Celta de Vigo v Barcelona 20:00 Levante v Eibar 20:00 Rayo Vallecano v Sporting de Gijón 21:00 Athletic Club v Real Madrid 22:00 Las Palmas v Sevilla 22:00 Málaga v Villarreal

Thursday 24 September

22:00 Real Betis v Deportivo de La Coruña

of a team,” Astana’s director, Alexander Vinokourov, said. “On paper it seems easy but the reality is that it was very tough,” added the 2006 Tour of Spain winner. Aru said after Saturday’s stage he would like to ride the 2016 Tour de France but first would meet with Astana to decide on the year’s objectives.

Torry’s dominant second half on Wednesday night coupled with an inexplicable ruling out of a Juanfran goal for a handball infringement that he did not commit meant that the team are still looking for their first win of the season to lift them out of the relegation zone. Manager Pedreño came up with a surprising line up, leaving Jorge on the bench along with keeper Oscar, but poor first half. performances from Quintero,

Juanma and Juanfran meant that Torry looked every inch a side in the bottom three. At the interval, the manager rousted his team and got the response he needed and deserved, after Villareal dominated the first period, but did not score courtesy of woeful finishing and some dogged defending. The second half belonged to Torry who put the ball into net twice. After sustained Tory pressure, a

cross from the left was moved on to Juanfran who rammed it home. It looked good but the referee disallowed it, indicating a handball against Juanfran who rightly pointed out that it had hit the hands of a defender! A minute later an excellent move saw captain Carrasco in possession thirty yards out and faced with a wall of defenders. As he saw Cesar make a dart on goal, he cleverly lifted the

ball over the defenders and into the path of Cesar, who made no mistake. No mistake this time from the officials, who judged that Cesar had inched ahead of the last outfield defender and was offside. It was close, but correct. Two points from their opening five games is a horrendous start for the Salineros, who seek to capture that first win at home this Sunday against Muro with a 6.00 pm kick off.

Friday 18th September 2015

Get That! ROMA 1 BARCELONA 1 Alessandro Florenzi got an incredible 60-yard strike for Roma in Wednesday night’s Champions League draw against holders Barcelona. Full-back Florenzi collected the ball in his own half, before unleashing an effort which floated over Marc-Andre ter Stegen and into the net. The champions went ahead in the first half through Luis Suarez, who nodded in Ivan Rakitic's cross from close range. On his 100th competition appearance, the closest Lionel Messi came to scoring was when he hit the crossbar.

Ron’s Hatful REAL MADRID 4 SHAKTAR 0

Cristiano Ronaldo seems unstoppable at the moment as he moved three clear of Lionel Messi at the top of the Champions League scoring charts after a Tuesday night hat-trick against Shakhtar Donetsk in their first Champions match of the new campaign. His treble, which included two spotkicks, took him to 80 Champions League goals and eight in his last two games. Ronaldo's third was a header after Marcelo's shot had been parried. Karim Benzema had tapped in Real's opener after keeper Andriy Pyatov dropped a cross, while Shakhtar had Taras Stepanenko sent off. Real Madrid's main cause for concern from the game was forward Gareth Bale having to go off with a calf injury after 32 minutes

Daddy Messi impresses ATLETICO MADRID 1 BARCELONA 2

Lionel Messi came off the bench to inspire Barcelona to a 2-1 come-from-behind win over Atletico Madrid at the Vicente Calderon Stadium last Saturday night. Messi had been left out of the starting line-up after missing a day of training last week for the birth of his second child - but his introduction on the hour made an immediate impression. Barcelona fell behind to a Fernando Torres opener early in the second half but Neymar's freekick immediately levelled the scores before the Argentinian stepped up to seal victory 13 minutes from time. The league leaders are at home to Levante on Sunday evening.

Five Star Ronaldo ESPANYOL 0 REAL MADRID 6

Hopeful Signs ELCHE 1 GIMNASTIC TARRAGONA 0 A Sergio León header just before half-time gave Elche another good result and three more points after a highly respectable start to their Segunda division campaign. A good build up led to a cross into the box by Álex Moreno teeing up León for what ended up being the only goal of the game against the visitors who were promoted last season. Elche were much the best side against the Catalan outfit with Alex Martinez and Alex Moreno posing all kinds of problems, with Moreno almost making it two after the interval. Gimnastic came into things more but Elche produced the best opportunity to double things up when a great solo run from Cifuentes finished with the shot hitting the crossbar. So far, so good for the new-look Illicitanos who are away to Huesca this Sunday afternoon.

Monte Win CD Montesinos warmed up nicely for this weekend’s start of the season by taking the annual Full Monte trophy(presented by Stan Dibble of the Full Monte Supporters Club), after beating local rivals Benejuzar three-nil last Saturday evening. Montesinos begin their campaign this weekend away to Sporting San Fulgencio.

Cristiano Ronaldo scored five goals to become Real Madrid's all-time top scorer in last Saturday’s slaughter of Espanyol. The forward's impressive haul saw him move ahead of Alfredo di Stefano and Raul in one afternoon to amass a total of 229 goals in 203 matches - one ahead of Raul, who needed 550 games to reach his tally. Ronaldo, who had failed to score in either of Real's opening league games, needed just seven minutes to open his account against Espanyol, having bagged a treble there last season. He promptly scored again from the penalty spot and then completed his hat-trick on 20 minutes with the help of a cross from Gareth Bale. Benzema added a fourth before the break, and then in the second half, Bale again laid on the pass for Ronaldo to strike for the fourth time and make Real Madrid history. But he was still not done, converting again from inside the area on 80 minutes. Second-in-thetable Real are at home to Granada tomorrow afternoon.

The Courier Sport

MIDWOE GIROUD SENT OFF! Arsenal suffered a 2-1 defeat at Dinamo Zagreb to get their Champions League campaign off to the worst possible start.

Bad Euro Starts The Euro hoodoo again struck unbeaten league leaders Man City on Tuesday night, the Blues going down 2 -1 at home to Juventus. After spending more mega bucks than anyone else one would/could assume that City might be as powerful in the Champions League as they are domestically, where City are unbeaten. Maximum fifteen points from five games, 11 goals scored nil against: that’s cool, but in their opening game in high-class Europe, missed chances, including two from wildly expensive England starlet Raheem Sterling could be crucial, City do have time to recover, but the omens are there again. To complete Mancunian misery nasty neighbours United also lost by the same score after going ahead away to PSV Eindhoven, Memphis Depay again scoring in Europe. But the match was marred by a dreadful injury to the Red Devils young England full back Luke Shaw, carried off after a double leg break. It will be months before the

young full back can recover, very sad as after a quiet start at Old Trafford, Shaw had returned to his best form of late – have United got cover? Hmm, they’re going to need it… Shalom… Chelsea won 40 in the Champions League, but unconvincingly against the Israeli team Maccabi Tel Aviv – who? But back at the Prem ranch, Chelsea are still unbelievably fourth from bottom, on four points! The new short and spiky Jose haircut was fitting as the Prem’s latest whipping boy is publicly wounded, suffering but still snarling in interviews. Now, after meekly going down 3 – 1 to Everton last week, Bridge bound is one of Jose’s greatest adversaries, Arsene’s Arsenal. On Wednesday the Gunners lost 2 - 1 away to Dynamo Zagreb with Olivier Giroud sent off, but a re-run of the unCharitable Shield on Saturday lunchtime will test Chelsea’s mettle in adversity: wonder if they’ll be handshakes all round afterwards?

John McGregor on Sport

Friday 18th September 2015

WEEK EURO FOR CLUBS

Arsenal, City, & Utd Slip Up In Europe!

The Latest Sport Headlines FOOTBALL Gossip: Man Utd & PSG battle for Ronaldo FOOTBALL Arsenal were a bit unlucky - Wenger EUROPEAN FOOTBALL Florenzi wonder goal as Roma hold Barca FORMULA 1 Renault to stop supplying engines EUROPEAN FOOTBALL British clubs pledge refugee help BOXING South African boxer dies after fight FOOTBALL Stadium ruling disappoints West Ham

Second City Surprise You could never ever have predicted that the second City in the Premier League after five games would be Leicester, complete with eleven points, eleven goals scored, and playing out of their blue skins. In a Midlands thriller at that King Stadium on Sunday afternoon the Foxes were two down to Villa, but stormed back to put three late goals past their Astonished visitors, plunging the Clarets’ manager Tim Sherwood into barelycontrolled seething anger in his post-match interview. Keeping it Midlands on Saturday, Ranieri’s rampant raiders are away to Stoke who have not started well, three places from bottom with only two points: manager Mark Hughes is another unhappy bunny. Joining the Midlands metropolis melee, vanquished Villa entertain nasty neighbours West Brom with only one point separating the two. The Baggies are down in 14th on five points, with Villa a place below on four. After you with the Brum bragging rights!

Bournemouth’s up and down debut in the Prem continues with the visit of suffering Sunderland, the Black Cats second bottom on two points and in deep doo doo. The Cherries aren’t much better with four points, but at least have won one, unlike their visitors. Talking of being in the shi…pbuilding area of north-east England, a problematical Prem place for football currently, Newcastle are officially bottom after Mondays defeat by West Ham. The Magpies detested-in-theEast-Midlands manager Steve McClaren is in big trouble and must start winning soon - maybe against … Watford; the Hornets are cock-a-hoop after a cool start, unexpectedly putting away Swansea 1 – 0 on Saturday. The Swans are at home to reviving Everton, which looks a great game with goals promise, but the Swalians will want to get back to their winning ways. The latest test of Premier League invincibility will be on Saturday evening at Manchester’s Etihad Stadium as mighty

Manchester City take on wildly unpredictable West Ham. Under popular ex-player Slaven Bilic, the Hammers are all over the place, and their 3 – 0 taking apart of Liverpool at Anfield set punters’ tongues wagging. On Monday bubbling away was continued by blowing away neurotic Newcastle, that result taking West Ham to a surprising fifth place. But taking on a rampant City side is a daunting task, no-one’s got anywhere yet. Super Sunday should be sensational as early doors is a fascinating London derby between vacillating mid-table Spurs, and sixth-placed Crystal Palace who look irresistible these days under prodigal ex-player Alan Pardew. Later lethargic Liverpool entertain newbies Norwich, fresh from whopping their co-promotees Bournemouth 3 - 1. Finally on the south coast, improving Southampton take on Man United, the Red Devils highly delighted after putting hated rivals Liverpool away 3 – 1 last Prem time out.

CRICKET ECB defers domestic structure change FOOTBALL QPR fight back to draw with Blackburn FORMULA 1 Rossi to drive five races for Manor OLYMPICS Five cities bid to host 2024 Olympics FOOTBALL Evans conviction decision delayed RUGBY UNION O'Connell a great teacher - Best CRICKET Ansari named in England Lions squad FOOTBALL Moreno sorry after Shaw injury RUGBY UNION De Villiers returns for Springboks RUGBY LEAGUE Captain Monaghan to leave Warrington

Supplied by BBC

ALL BLACK OR WHITE? D’S

ENGLAN RIVALS

Carter Can Rule The World! In Group B, Scotland (100/1) look to have a decent chance of progressing, with Japan, Samoa, and the United States all looking beatable; but South Africa, third favourites at 13/2 will be formidable opposition as ever. New Zealand’s Group C should be all about who goes through with the All Blacks amongst Argentina, Tonga, Georgia and Namibia. France (14/1) and Ireland (9/1) should dominate group D and go through leaving Canada, Italy and Romania behind, but of course in such a globally-wide tournament nothing should be taken for granted, and there are bound to be shocks along the way from unfancied countries with little to lose. The top two from each of the four groups will meet each other in the quarter finals starting on Saturday 17th October, producing four semi-finalists. These two matches will played a week later on Saturday 24th and Sunday 25th with the third place play-off held on Friday October 30th at the Olympic stadium. The World Cup Final is at Twickenham on Sunday 31st, kick off 5pm Spanish time. If you like your Telly but don’t like rugby – tough, go BBC, or find something else to do for a month while the World Cup is on, there’s a lot of it to see. As the soccer-loving son of a Kiwi I brought shame on the family favouring the round football, and being born and reared in England I have split loyalties when it comes to rugby. It was fantastic in 2003 when England won the World Cup in Australia, I’m just glad it wasn’t New Zealand who succumbed to Martin Johnson’s great team, where the name of Jonny Wilkinson will live forever. But now great NZ names like Richie McCaw, Kevin Mealamu, Tony Woodcock, Conrad Smith, Ma’a Nonu and Dan Carter may dominate this World Cup amongst notable other team mates. But favourites have been known to fail, and Stuart Lancaster’s England team are 9/2 second favourites in the betting. Led by Chris Robshaw ,the All Whites are unchanged from the team that beat Ireland last week. Will the English names of Jonny May, Geoff Parling, Mike Brown, Rob Webber, Ben Youngs, Brad Barritt, Dan Cole, Anthony Watson, Ben Morgan and Tom Wood et al go down in history for this World Cup? BTW – Fiji are no slouches at rugby - tune in tonight and see – ENGLAND!

G I B E H T

! F F O K KIC

They are the World Champions in every sense, with a huge six ranking point gap before England in second place. Their squad has an average 48 caps per man, almost twice that of England. With a similar population and attitude to their national sport as Wales, rugby is almost a religion in New Zealand. They are the mighty All Blacks and favourites to win the Webb Ellis Trophy, the battle for which starts today. And yet, as in most sports even strong favourites can trip up on their day and be unexpectedly beaten. France, unpredictable as ever are a team the Kiwis don’t like playing, losing to them in 2007 and the two nations could meet in the quarter finals if they both come through their groups. Initially all eyes and pressure are on the Home Nation as England take to the field at Twickenham tonight against

Fiji, kick off 9pm Spanish time, live on ITV(with the World Cup opening ceremony at 7.45pm). No doubt about it, England are in the toughest group which includes underdogs Uruguay but also Australia and the old enemy Wales. Two will qualify from each group, so at least one of the biggies will fall in disgrace in this pool - let’s hope for the dignity of our nation it’s not England. Form, home advantage, national pride and much more should surely see England through to the knockout stages. Wales odds are 20/1 and already have two key players out injured: with their brothers doing well in the Euro 2016 qualifiers, the proud nation’s teeth will be on edge. Australia similarly will not want to miss out, and their domestic pressure from down under to perform and progress is immense in another sport-loving country.

YARNOLD DAVIS CUP TAKES BREAK SEMI-FINAL

Skeleton Olympic champion Lizzy Yarnold will miss the 2015-16 World Cup season as part of a 12 month break. The Briton, 26, has won Olympic, World, European and overall World Cup golds in the last two years - exertions which have left her feeling 'burnt out'. Yarnold says she is not quitting and will return rejuvenated for the 2018 Games.

Davis Cup semi-final between Australia and Great Britain starts today. With Aussie battler Lleyton Hewitt and Andy Murray exchanging the first verbal volleys of Davis Cup week, with each trying to put pressure on the other ahead of their semi-final clash. Hewitt said GB No1 Murray has 'a lot of pressure on him'

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47