The Courier Edition 240 by TKO UK

Edition 240

www.thecourier.es Friday 25th September 2015

LEARN THE LINGO! TORREVIEJA MAYOR IN SPANISH CALL ALEX TRELINSKI

ritish residents in Torrevieja have been told to learn Spanish by the Mayor, Jose Manuel Dolon, in a bid to stop what he calls “problems and misunderstandings within the local health and social service sectors”. Dolon (pictured third from the left) made the call during a meeting with the British Ambassador, Simon Manley on Monday, which was attended by leaders of Alicante Province municipalities that have the largest amount of British people living within them. The so-called “Top Ten Towns” group meets on a regular basis with British consular officials, and took advantage of Manley’s visit to Alicante City this week where he was launching a new partnership with the Spanish Red Cross that will be piloted on the Costa Blanca before being rolled out across the whole of Spain. Jose Manuel Dolon said the British Embassy needs to do more to encourage ex-pats to learn Spanish, and he added that with the bulk of the British population being retired, communication problems were a serious issue. The Torrevieja mayor added that many ex-pats are not registered on the padron and that means they don’t

get involved in local matters, including voting in local elections. He said this was a hindrance to greater co-operation between the British community and the council. Other leaders from the region echoed Dolon’s comments about better integration in the meeting with Simon Manley, accompanied by Alicante’s British consul Sarah-Jane Morris, and vice-consul, Lloyd Milen. The ambassador agreed that it was crucial that every British citizen is registered in the locality in where they lived, in order to access all local services, and to be informed about their obligations as a resident in Spain. He added that the British Embassy plans to launch a padron registration campaign in association with local authorities to address their concerns.

After the meeting, the Ambassador launched the new partnership with the Spanish equivalent of the Red Cross, the Cruz Roja, with British residents encouraged to play a greater part in the organisation. The new initiative will first be tried out within Alicante Province, before being rolled out across the whole of Spain, with Manley, and Cruz Roja national vice-president, Javier Gimeno giving more details. The new agreement aims to improve the quality of life for the most vulnerable expats, and their ability to access Cruz Roja services. It also seeks to encourage people in the British community to volunteer for Cruz Roja activities and promote collaboration with other British community associations, many of whom were at Monday’s signing cere-

mony. They included Age Concern Costa Blanca South; the Royal British Legion; the Samaritans; the Royal Airforce Association; Help at Home; the International Residents group from Daya Nueva; AFA Torrevieja; MABS Cancer Support; Help at Home Mar Menor, and the HELP groups in the Vega Baja and Mar Menor. Simon Manley said: “People in the British communities have a wealth of experience and skills, and I really hope that this new partnership with the Cruz Roja will encourage more people to volunteer their talents and support for the benefit of others. The agreement will also help to ensure that British expats in the Costa Blanca area have easier access to the wide range of Cruz Roja resources, which can improve their quality of life.”

VOTE NOW ONLINE Check out page 12 for details of our great competition where your pet can win some fantastic prizes in Pet Idol 2015. Start casting your votes at thecourier.es, where you will be able to vote on your favourite pet.

WHATSON’S TV VIEWS

The Courier TV Pull-out The latest news from tele-land 25th Sept - 1st Oct

Starts page 19

News

Friday 25th September 2015

Crazy Influence

Stay Of Execution

Your Bigger, Bolder, Brighter Courier Telephone 966 921 003

Email office@thecourier.es

Website www.thecourier.es

Head Office C/ Luis Canovas Martinez 03183 Torrevieja

Opening Hours Mon - Fri 10.30 - 16.00

Editor Alex Trelinski

Production Editors Nicola Cross & Mark Nolan

Head of Layout Nicola Cross

Advertising Sales 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es

Sally Los Alcazares, Tel. 618 391 491

Myra Torrevieja & North Tel. 618 583 765

Jean Orihuela Costa Tel. 618 898 034

Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel. 685 901 265

Writers Alex Trelinski Mark Nolan Jeanette Erath Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor Ivie Davies Nicola Cross

A 39 year old Spaniard, who was under the influence of drugs, faces more than 27 years in jail for axing to death his 24 year old Romanian girlfriend, Sorina. He then cut up her body, after setting fire to their farm cottage, before trying to commit suicide. His trial started in Alicante’s Provincial Court on Monday, with the killing happening in October 2013 north-east of Villajoyosa in a cottage at La Torre de les Maçanes where the couple had lived together for five years. There were no previous reports of violence before the Benidorm-born man turned nasty on that fateful day two years ago, in a case that shocked the local community. His father and uncle came to the cottage and found him naked in a drunken and drugged up state, and advised him to hand himself in to the authorities which he duly did. The accused, identified as Martin RS, told the jury that he saw a lump in the couple’s bed and started hitting it with an axe, saying that he did not know that it was

Sorina. He had been to Benidorm earlier in the day and had taken acid-based drugs, which he claimed had made him suffer hallucinations. When he returned, he set fire to a building, and then went to the bedroom where he made his fatal attack. In his testimony, he said he could not remember dismembering Sorina’s body, but recalled hearing voices in his head telling him to hang himself. He tried to do that, but a tree branch gave way, so he then he tried to shoot himself in the head, but the bullet jammed in his unlicensed gun. Two Guardia officers testified on Tuesday that Martin RS confessed to the crime in a lucid way to them when he was under guard in hospital. The defendant’s lawyers are arguing that Martin RS did not know what he was doing because of his drugged-up state, whilst prosecutors are asking for a quarter of a million euros compensation to Sorina’s family, in addition to a 27 year prison sentence.

Taxing Times Opposition groups on San Fulgencio council have united to slam a 20 percent hike in property taxes in the municipality. The IBI rises were announced by the mayor, Carlos Ramirez, who blamed the increase on a close to four thousand drop in the number of residents on the local padron, which meant that their state grant had dropped by 600 thousand euro per annum.

Guardamar’s Lemon Tree Market is to stay open for the time being after the administrative courts, the ContenciosoAdministrativo, suspended the planned closure after an earlier decree from the Supreme Court ordering it shut down for not having a license. Guardamar mayor, José Luis Sáez, reported the suspension on Monday, after the council and market bosses had had a series of meetings to legalise activities at the site. Earlier this year, a manager of another local market threatened to take legal action against the council for not enforcing the Supreme Court order against the Lemon Tree Market which has been

running without a licence since 1993. The Court ruled in February that public interests were not served by it continuing, but the closure notice was not enforced by the previous Partido Popular-run council in Guardamar. The new PSOE mayor, José Luis Sáez, said this week: “We are fully aware of the problems that the possible closure of the market could cause, but we can’t forget as well that it is the responsibility of public officials to comply with the law. We are continuing to work on seeing that activities on the market site are licensed”. The council were set to enforce the Supreme Court ruling earlier this month, with market spokesman Juan

Fernández claiming that 700 families depended on it for their livelihood. But with good news for the market, comes bad, with a Torrevieja investigating judge saying that there was evidence that market bosses were irresponsible for letting septic tanks affect the La Mata lake. The environmental department of the Guardia Civil, SEPRONA, has been investigating reports of waste discharges in the area and took samples away in November 2014 for analysis. The judge concluded that it was highly likely that an environmental crime had been committed with further legal measures pending. He also noted that the market was being run without an appropriate license.

Summer Sizzler

With the arrival of autumn, Valencia region weather experts have been reflecting on the summer of 2015, which overall was the fourth hottest since 1950, with temperatures around one point two degrees above average figures. July was the month when all the records tumbled, yet

there were still substantial variations across the whole of the region, which meant overall that the summer of 2015 was still, in terms of figures and averages, not as hot as 2003, 2009, and 2012. In Alicante Province and the Costa Blanca though, the July temperatures were the second high-

est in living memory, only beaten by the recorded figures way back in 1877. In contrast it was the wettest summer since 2002, with big storms recorded in August and September. Forecasters are predicting that temperatures will be above average for the rest of the year.

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 188 - 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or nonappearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

News

Friday 25th September 2015

North-South Divide

Towns and cities in southern Spain, including Torrevieja and Cartagena, suffer from greater levels compared to their northern counterparts, according to a survey published by the AIS using government. The study investigated towns with a population of over 50 thousand people, and found that, apart from Madrid, the country's wealthiest towns were all located in the north, while its poorest were all in the south, with the most povertystricken top ten all in the south. The poorest municipality is Ceuta, Spain's North African enclave bordering Morocco, where 44.6 percent of people are at risk

Hundreds killed in deadliest Haj stampede since 2006. Twin suicide bombings kill at least 10 at Houthirun Yemeni mosque.

of poverty. This is followed by the town of Sanlúcar de Barrameda in Cádiz, where 38.5 percent of people are at risk of poverty, and Lorca in Murcia, where the figure is 38.3 percent. Torrevieja is in fourth place on 35.8 percent, closely followed by Cartagena on 35.5

percent. In ninth place is Molina de Segura in Murcia on 33.9 percent. In contrast, the wealthiest town is the Basque region capital of Vitoria, where 7.3 percent of people are at risk of poverty, followed by another Basque town, Getxo, with a figure of 7.5 percent.

Green Fingered

100 marijuana plants that could have produced 50

thousand euro worth of cannabis on the open mar-

month’s figures showed that the French and British accounted for close on half of the foreign visitors, with French tourists amounting to just over 23 percent, marginally more than those from the UK. The Asian market is showing some substantial rises, with visitors from that part of the

Fishermen operating out of Guardamar del Segura have called for action against the blue crab, after one was caught by them last week (picture from the Informacion newspaper). The Atlantic blue crab comes from the western

Atlantic Ocean and is a predator that threatens all kinds of Mediterranean mollusc species like cockles and jellyfish, as well as some types of fish, leading to concerns from local fishermen, who have called for special traps to be installed.

Pulled Out

world up by over 22 percent on last year. The Valencia region, including the Costa Blanca, had one of the biggest regional rises in Spain, with a six point three percent yearly increase over August 2014’s statistics, with British, French, and Dutch tourists fuelling the upward trend.

Top Gear Spanish Style Spain's vehicle production rose by a big 13.6 percent in July, according to the Association of Car Manufacturers (ANFAC), Spanish factories made 264,718 units in July, while manufacturing one point seven million vehicles in the first seven months of 2015, which meant a 12.9 percent increase when compared with the same period of 2014. ANFAC said the rise was down to increases in both the domestic and export markets.

Croatia bans entry of Serbian citizens as dispute escalates. Egypt's president swears in new government. Israel bars non-Muslim prayers during holiday. Pope tells U.S. bishops crimes of sexual abuse should never be repeated. Russia announces naval drills in 'east Mediterranean'.

ket, have been seized by the police in Torre Pacheco. The police raided a number of homes on Calle Río Azul de Torre in the town on Monday on the basis that squatters were using them and also illegally using power and water utilities. One man was arrested for having the plants and associated drug cultivating paraphernalia in one of the homes, along with possessing a gun and ammunition.

Tourist Boost A best-ever figure of 47.2 million foreign tourists visited Spain this year up till the end of August this year, just over four percent more than the same eight months of 2014. There were nine point two million visitors last month, some one point six percent more than August last year. Last

Crab Caught

German consumers increasingly concerned about economy. Send me home to Iran, immigrant begs British police. Merkel says benefits of migration greater than risks. Migrant youth killed by Channel Tunnel train. An off-duty lifeguard pulled a 69-year-old swimmer out of the water at Torrevieja’s La Mata beach on Sunday morning, with the bather being rushed to Torrevieja Hospital in a serious condition. The male bather who has homes in

both Torrevieja and Madrid was spotted floating in the water close to the Avenida de los Europeos at around 10.25am and the off-duty Cruz Roja lifeguard who was surfing in the area, attended to the swimmer before paramedics arrived on the scene.

Better Olives After a bad harvest last year, there’s more optimism amongst local olive growers with predictions that this year’s harvest will be some 22 percent up on 2014. The expected return of 17 and a half thousand tons is still significantly down on what be regarded as a normal harvest level ,

with numbers still down by a third, as olive oil prices rises start to slow down. Alicante Province is expected to produce just short of six thousand ton which is roughly the same as last year, with the northern part of the Valencia region showing the big rises.

China upset by reported hut demolition on India border. Putin plans air strikes in Syria if no U.S. deal reached. Russia exhumes murdered tsar and wife. New Zealand deports climate change asylum seeker to Kiribati. Breastfeeding woman admits Primark lie. Chinese firms urged to bid for HS2 work. U.K. School crime reports top 30,000.

Desk Something Different Success Over two thousand people have used San Javier airport's tourist information desk since it opened in May, according to San Javier tourism councillor, Antonio Martinez, who recently visited the airport along with mayor, José Miguel Luengo. 90 percent of the desk users were foreign tourists, who in turn were mainly British.

Baton Raised

Two of Britain's top classical orchestras will feature in a dozen concerts announced by Alicante City's ADDA theatre for their new season which will run through till May. The London Philharmonic Orchestra under conductor Vladimir Jurowski will be performing works by Sibelius and Tchaikovsky on Tuesday October 6th, with the presence of top international violinist, Leonidas Kavakos. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra will finish the season on May 27th under the baton of Pinchas Zukerman, with a programme that includes Sir Edward Elgar's Enigma Variations. Tickets range between 10 and 60 euro, with more details via www.instanticket.es.

News

Friday 25th September 2015

A man who flew in for a break on the Costa del Sol faces a big fine after he tried to smuggle seahorses into the country in his suitcase. Customs officers at Malaga airport opened the man's case and found the stash of dead seahorses inside. The Chinese national had packed the creatures into

two plastic bags and hidden them among his clothes. He arrived on a flight from Cali in Colombia, via Amsterdam, and had his suitcase checked when he looked nervy. The Guardia Civil said that the dried seahorses weighed about two kilograms. The man told police they were for his personal consumption but he now faces prosecution for breaching the rules on export and imports and smuggling protected flora and fauna. Seahorses have been exploited for years for their medicinal and ornamental properties and are now in danger of extinction. In some countries, they are considered a delicacy and are often made into a soup, with the Chinese also believing that eating dried seahorses can be a cure for a flagging libido.

Getting Better

Unbelievable

A dog that had its legs tied together and thrown into an Almoradi area canal is safe and well after four days of treatment, and is now looking for a new home. The local animal charity Abadal de Almoradí got a call about the distressed animal that

was spotted in distress in some piping at the Mayayo ditch, after it had managed to struggle out of the water, despite being bound. The dog, named Kiwi, is still said to be nervy after the ordeal and is being looked after by an Abadal volunteer,

before being transferred to their kennels, and then hopefully onto a loving family. Abadal have reported the incident to the local animal protection department and are appealing for any information on who mistreated Kiwi.

Hamming It Up

Less Jelly

The hot summer didn't bring out the expected quota of jellyfish to hinder Costa Blanca bathers according to local Cruz Roja official Domingo Llopis. One of the most affected areas was around Santa Pola, with Llopis saying that the Cruz Roja teams across the Valencia region had overall been involved in 33 thousand seaside incidents during the peak season of June through till September. Besides dealing with bites and stings, heat strokes, faintings, and general injuries kept the Cruz Roja busy over the summer.

A Costa Blanca hotel association says that it’s the first time since 2007 that the local hotel and hospitality sector has seen a major boost to trade, with figures so far for 2015 seeing a rise in turnover of just over five percent. The Business Federation of Hotels of Valencia (FEHV) say that their members have seen losses of over 30 percent since the start

A Malaga area town is a cut above the rest after it smashed the world record for the number of people simultaneously slicing a leg of ham at the same time! 202 serrano slicers from

the whole of Spain hit Sierra de Yeguas on Sunday and easily beat the previous best of 161 cutters. The cutters each had to slice at least five slivers of ham of between 0.5 and

1.5 millimetres thick in two minutes. The event was organized by professional ham-cutter, or cortador, Manuel Novoa, who had been trying to break the record for three years.

Don’t Cry For Me……

Hidden Stash

Tank’s A Lot

A tender to build a new storm water tank at Jose Luis de los Rios park in San Pedro del Pinatar has been advertised, with the two point three million euro project being funded by the European Union. The system is meant to stop localised flooding as well reducing pollution in the Mar Menor. There are similar tanks in Lo Pagan, Los Alcazares, Los Urrutias and Santiago de la Ribera.

of the recession, and that August saw a big leap in revenues amounting to 10 percent more compared to the same month in 2014, yet July saw a five percent fall, after an excellent June. Perhaps not surprisingly, coastal regions fared better than inland areas, whilst the FEHV study also suggested that customers were spending less than in previous years

Five people have been arrested in Elche as well as the El Campello area of Alicante for drug trafficking as they used with a hidden

compartment in a car. The National Police got wind of the car shipments some months ago and so they put a tracking device on the vehicle which went all the way north to Bilbao to pick up the stash, and then returned to the area. Two people were arrested when they got home to El Campello with the agents finding half a kilo of cocaine in a hollowed out area at the back of the rear passenger seats, where they hoped it would be undetected. Three other people in Elche were arrested at the start of September with 300 grams of cocaine being seized amongst other items.

A 74-year-old doctor who is wanted in Argentina on genocide charges was arrested by the National Police in Alicante City last Friday. Authorities released

details on Tuesday about the detention of Carlos Fernando Gori on an international arrest warrant. The warrant detailed how the Argentinian judiciary wanting him to answer alle-

gations that he played a part in human rights abuses perpetrated by the country’s military dictatorship after they overthrew the government of President Isabel Perón in 1976.

News

Friday 25th September 2015

Old Habits Die Hard Spaniards who don't like using cash and credit cards are sitting on around 341 million euro in foreign currency in their homes, according to a survey by Visa Europe. The average Spanish person who goes on holiday to a country that does not use the euro has around 71 euro in currency left over and does not bother to exchange it. In some cases, this is deliberate – foreign money is kept as a souvenir – but in others, it is not a conscious decision. Although credit and debit cards are tending to be accepted more and more these days around the world and travellers'

cheques are becoming a thing of the past, very few Spaniards use their cards abroad. Only 31 percent of Spaniards prefer to pay by card when they are at home, and this reduces even further – to 18% -

Medicine Man Hot on the heels of a recent case of a fake dentist in Torrevieja, comes the news that a man in the Valencia area has been arrested for pretending to be a doctor. Incredibly the 35-year-old would put on medical scrubs and move across Valencia province hospitals recommending patients to come and see him at his "practice" in the

Mislata area of Valencia City. The National Police raided the premises and uncovered a variety of medical paraphernalia, with the bogus doctor set to face a host of charges, with authorities trying to find out whether he actually endangered the life of his patients and whether he prescribed steroids for increasing muscle mass.

Very Chic

Four captive-bred northern bald ibis chicks have been sent from Chester Zoo in UK to Jerez where they will soon be released into

the wild as part of an effort to reintroduce the species. The bird was once widespread, from North Africa to Central Europe, but is now almost extinct in the wild. In Europe, there have been no northern bald ibis in the wild for 300 years. The chicks from the UK will join others, from zoos around Europe, for a bonding period before they are set free. At present only about 500 of the birds can be found in the wild, largely in a population in Morocco. They will live in a holding aviary at Jerez Zoo until they are released, possibly in late November.

Top Nosh Santiago de la Ribera's Barnuevo esplanade is hosting a food treat starting today (Friday) which runs over this weekend through till Sunday, with a special Gastrotour celebrating local cuisine. Some 15 bars and restaurants will be serving

tapas at two euro per person, whilst there will be special cookery demonstrations from top Spanish chefs as well as tastings and entertainment. It's predicted that over 20 thousand snacks will be consumed over the weekend.

when they are abroad. A total of 32% of people in Spain say they use cash all the time at home and do not like using cards, but 44% of them only want to use cash when outside the country.

Toy Story A Valencia design studio, Unamo, has come up with a game to help elderly people who are suffering with memory and movement problems, with results showing that they recover some of their faculties. Known as a Diskover Memory, the 'toy' is made up of 33 moving, coloured discs of varying shapes and textures split into three towers of 11 parts each, together with extra pieces split into four categories – memory and attention, reasoning, motor skills, and creativity. Unamo says the gadget has been created with hospitals, specialist clinics and residential homes in mind but is also suitable for use at home. Creator Humberto Navarro, an interior and product designer, says the Diskover Memory started out life as a home decoration item which doubled up as a children's toy. But as its design became gradually more and more complex and colourful, it ended up tested at the El Salvador retirement home in Valencia City with the results showing its therapeutic benefits.

Copper Bottom

Copper wire thieves have caused two areas of Orihuela City to be without street lighting. Last Sunday, thieves took wiring from Avenida Victorio Oliver, which left the road in the dark. That followed a similar incident a few days earlier in the Plaza de Caturla area.

Valencian Cheers The World Beer Awards have raised a glass to a Valencian regional ale, calling it one of the best craft beers on the planet. Golden ale La Socarrada, brewed in Xàtiva, was given the title of the fourth best beer of all time. The manufacturers say that the beer is made without filters or additives, and is “very well looked after”. The basic ingredients are water, barley malts, hops, yeast along with rosemary and rosemary honey. Top of the pops was Belgian beer Brasserie St. James Red Headed Stranger, while American stout Outer Darkness came in second. A series of blind tastings took place under a panel of international judges, after the various beers were nominated on-line.

Business Booming Spain’s international export trade is now growing faster than at any time since 1971, according to the latest figures. Exports went up between January and July by five and a half percent, the biggest hike for the same period since the early seventies. Two of the biggest rises saw sales to Saudi Arabia increase by nearly 43 percent and to Egypt by 28 percent.

Dogs Let Out? Dozens of dogs (and their owners!) were given a run out on trial services in Alicante City last weekend to see if more permanent routes can be established for the canines. Only guide dogs are allowed on Alicante buses, but council officials are hoping to run buses on routes that will be clearly identified as ones which dogs could go on. Initial feedback from the trial was positive with the dogs being well behaved, with some of the human users saying that they could do with permanent services as they would like to take their pets to the vets on public transport, rather than having to make costlier alternative arrangements.

Super Rare

A spectacular lunar eclipse should be visible, weather permitting, this Monday morning but you’ll have to get up early to enjoy it. It’ll be

the second lunar eclipse of the year, but it promises to be a more spectacular affair as it coincides with a supermoon (photographed in Alicante last month), which is a full moon that’s around 30 percent bigger and brighter than normal. A supermoon eclipse hasn’t happened since 1983, and the next one won’t happen until 2033. Your alarm clocks will have to be set to catch the sight which starts at 4.11am and ends at 5.23am.

Better Drains

Rafal is having a new drainage system put in across some key areas of the town. The work being done by Hidraqua should be

A 62 year old man had a lucky escape after his vehicle was involved in a collision with two other cars on the notorious N332 blackspot by the Santa Pola marshes on Tuesday. The driver of the Renault 11 car had

his legs trapped in his mangled vehicle before being released after an hour by Baix Vinalopó firefighters. Incredibly he only suffered minor injuries as he was taken to Elche General Hospital, whilst the peo-

ple in the other two cars were not seriously injured. The circumstances of the accident were not known as The Courier went to press. Only last week a car with four tourists spun off the road in the same area.

finished next week, with the 28 thousand euro project aimed at cutting down water losses and improving filtering.

Killer Blast The German cruise-liner, Amadea, from the Phoenix Reisen company made a bit of maritime history for Torrevieja on Tuesday, as it

became the first cruise ship to dock in the city. 400 passengers (mainly German, Swiss, and Austrian) came ashore to

enjoy the area’s delights for around six hours, before the ship sailed off for Mallorca late on Tuesday night.

Pilar de la Horadada’s local police officers have been honoured by the Valencian Government over

their work, especially in the rural areas of the municipality. The Valencian authority praised the way that the

local force worked with the Elche-based regional police, as well as with the Guardia Civil in Pilar de la Horadada.

and a long-haul flight from Heathrow to another continent can be bought as one trip, with luggage checked in at the Vueling desk in Spain and collected at the final destination. At present, this allows customers to book flights from London Gatwick to Barcelona, Rome and Naples as one trip with a connecting flight, via the same website. The

move will shortly include flights from Gatwick to Alicante-Elche airport as well as to other Spanish and Italian airports. Vueling is the first European lowcost airline to combine ticket sales with other carriers and will also share flight codes with Iberia(owned by British Airways) as well as with Qatar Airways and American Airlines.

Police Praised

A factory explosion in Almeria took the life of one worker on Monday morning with three others being seri-

ously injured. The blast was connected to work being carried out at the Hintes Oil Europa plant.

Guardia Grab

Barely A Scratch

A driver had a lucky escape last Saturday afternoon after having to be rescued from his overturned vehicle by firefighters. The accident happened close to the San Pedro del Pinatar ITV station on the road between Lo Romero and Pilar de la Horadada, and no other car was involved. The driver was freed and then treated by paramedics but didn't require any hospital attention and was allowed to go home.

Get Out Of That

Anchor Down

No Worries

A Veuling aircraft en route from Sevilla to Mallorca had to make an emergency landing at Alicante-Elche airport last Saturday night after a report that the cabin was losing pressure. Formal procedures were followed with emergency services put on standby, as the plane made a safe landing, with the passengers transferred onto another aircraft to continue their journey to Mallorca.

News

Friday 25th September 2015

Ten people, including a British man, have been arrested and accused of drug-trafficking and money laundering. The arrests were made by the Guardia Civil across the country in Operation Paraka, with nearly sixteen hundred kilos of cocaine being seized, Four Spaniards and three Argentinians were amongst those detained. Operation Paraka started in June when officers in Zaragoza stopped a car

carrying 98 kilos of cocaine. Further investigations later led to a series of searches and surveillance operations which led to further arrests. The well-structured gang allocated different tasks to the members, with the bosses making frequent trips to South America to negotiate with dealers and then to ship the drugs into Spain, where they stashed in rental properties before being distributed.

A new alliance between British Airways and lowcost Spanish carrier Vueling means travellers can buy combined tickets for flights with both companies. Using the BA or Vueling websites, passengers can purchase tickets from one or the other and combine return flights – for example, a ticket with Vueling to a London airport

Less Hassle

Dave Silver

Friday 25th September 2015

A Trouble-Free Day? Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Bank On It!

I had to pay a bill at my bank the other day. I didn't think it would take me long to transact the transaction. But it did. I queued at the counter for what seemed like ages. It wasn't really. It's just that there isn't much to occupy one's mind in a bank queue except to sneak a peek at what the person in front of you is transacting. Is he, like me paying a bill? Or is he drawing out some money? If the latter, why doesn't he use one of those convenient cash machines like I used to do before I got my PIN wrong at three attempts and my card was consequently blocked. I told the cashier at the

time that I hadn't forgotten my number. It was just that I had forgotten the correct sequence of the four digits. Anyway, back to the other day. I reached the cashier's window, dug into my inside jacket pocket for the bill and ready-made-out cheque . . . and couldn't find them. After excavating all my other clothes orifices but to no avail, I came to the horrid conclusion that I had left my stuff in the car. Offering a weak smile to the cashier, I mumbled something about having a senior moment, left the bank and trudged the half-mile back to my vehicle which I'd parked in the shopping precinct.

I remembered that I'd locked away the invoice and the cheque in the car's glove compartment, wondering at the time why a thief would want to steal my statement and pay in my bill at the bank. Indeed, he would have been doing me a favour. Go figure. Anyway, I reached into my pocket for my car keys . . . and couldn't find them. Indeed, all my pockets were devoid of them. I came to the second horrid conclusion of the day -- I had left my car keys in the bank. I must have put them down on the counter while I was hunting for my bill. I trudged the half-mile back from the shopping precinct, entered the bank and imme-

diately spotted a long, long queue leading up to the cashier windows. What should I do next? That was the question. Should I wait patiently until it was my turn or stride briskly to the window and ask about my car keys. In the end I had to do neither. A nice lady approached me and asked if I wanted to pay in a bill. In which case I would not have to queue but would instead be able to post my cheque through the selfservice machine. I gratefully accepted her offer but first I would need my car keys. The helpful lady looked puzzled. 'But why would you want to post your car keys through our self-service machine?' Her question sounded so ludicrous that I started to giggle and then guffaw. The nice lady looked most concerned. 'Can I fetch you anything, sir? A glass of water? An ambulance?' I stopped laughing long enough to gasp: 'Thank you, madam. You've already been of invaluable assistance. I now have enough material to write my next column for The Courier.' 'Courier?' queried the lovely lady. 'Ah, so you want to open a business account or send a parcel?' Her question triggered another fit of the giggles on my part. In fact, all in all I had

cackled so much that my vibrating tremors had shifted me nearer to the cashier windows -- where I spotted my car keys. I lunged for them and immediately heard a stern security-type voice say: 'Leave those bank vault keys alone!' Much later, after I had spoken to the detectives in the police station interview room, I returned to my car in the shopping precinct and drove home. I would return to the bank the following day to transact my business -- if they would allow me in, that is. 'Where the hell have you been?' Mrs S greeted me in the hall. 'And next time you go out, take your house keys with you. I'm tired of answering your irritating hammering on the front door. And while we're on the subject, you promised to fix the flaming doorbell.' 'That's not my fault,' I whined. 'Eric the dentist keeps offering to pop round to help me repair the doorbell but he never comes. And I thought he was my best pal.' Mrs S gritted her teeth. 'Eric HAS been round! It's just that we don't hear him when he tries to ring the doorbell.' I plodded into the kitchen, ostensibly to make myself a mug of tea but in reality to escape from Mrs S. But Mrs S followed me in.

'So where are they?' she demanded. 'Where are what?' I asked. 'The groceries I asked you to buy when you said you were parking in the shopping precinct.' 'But I've been nowhere near the shopping precinct,' I said. 'Cross my heart and hope to die,' I added, crossing my fingers behind my back and hoping to live. 'Hmmm,' Mrs S hmmmed. 'I wish I could fully trust you but there's always that niggling little doubt. Anyway, you might as well do something useful while you're in the kitchen. Please switch on the kettle. I'm gasping for a cup of tea.' 'Er, there's no point,' I mumbled. 'The kettle doesn't work.' 'Since when?' asked Mrs S. 'Since this morning when I had another go at fixing the front doorbell. I find the whole science of electricity most confusing.' Mrs S sighed. 'Well in that case, fill a pan with water and pop it onto the gas ring.' 'Can't,' I mumbled again, producing my painfully cramped hands from behind my back. 'Oh, my goodness,' gasped Mrs S. 'Your fingers are twisted together. I'd better get you to A&E. The last time you had locked fingers the doctors reckoned it was from searching through your pockets all the time.'

Hit Stopped Seven people have been arrested in the Costa del Sol town of Mijas on suspicion of planning to assassinate a businessman on orders from a Colombian drug cartel. The National Police said the investigation began last year, when evidence emerged that a gang in Madrid was being paid 90 thousand euros to travel south and kill "a Marbella resident and two bodyguards." Police arrested four men including a Colombian ringleader, as well as a woman and two children at raid. The plan was to allegedly use a child as the "trigger" in the attack, a technique police say is employed in Colombia to take advantage of legal difficulties in pinning charges on minors.

Different View A Valencia City man who smashed a bottle over his flatmate's head during a row about politics has been arrested by the National police. The 39year-old Lithuanian man is said to have threatened to kill his housemate if he called the police as well as beating him with a glass bottle, which he smashed leaving him with deep cuts. Police were called to the flat in the Trànsits area of the city, where they found the attacker in 'very wound-up state' in the doorway. The 41-yearold Ukrainian victim was bleeding profusely from his head and surrounded by shards of broken glass and spilt blood on the floor. He was taken to hospital where he needed stitches. Officers heard the two men had been discussing politics and their differing views led to a major argument, which took a turn for the worse.

News

Friday 25th September 2015

Discovered Urb

The Big Fruit Blaze

Orihuela’s coastal councillor, Sofia Alzarez, is to hold monthly meetings with residents of the Entre Naranjos urbanisation. Dubbed by locals as the “Forgotten City”, 100 people turned up to the first forum with Alvarez who has promised to make it a regular gathering where she will be accompanied by a member of the council government team.

Full Circle A fire ripped through the Congelados Españoles frozen food factory in Orihuela on Wednesday night, with 80 thousand kilos of fresh fruit and veg going up in smoke, as the

blaze destroyed an area of two and half thousand square metres. 17 workers escaped without injury from the premises which are off the N-340 road to Murcia City, with fire

crews being brought in from as far as Elche and Torrevieja to help fight the blaze, with teams able to save two and a half tons of products being destroyed.

Time to Pay Up People A man decided to drive to his own driving theory exam, in spite of not having a driving license, and was arrested after leaving the test centre! The man, from the town of Labuerda, in north-eastern Spain, was driving without a license, having lost all his points after a set of traffic violations, and was due to take

his theory paper in Huesca. He got rumbled though when the police noticed that a car parked outside the test centre belonged to one of the people due to take the theory exam. After the man finished taking his test, he was stopped on a local motorway and was promptly arrested for breaking road safety laws.

Almoradí council have been ordered to cough up nearly a hundred thousand euro over the building of new barracks for the Guardia Civil in the town,

after the courts ruled that the interest penalties the construction company faced were as a result of their late payment of invoices.

The court has therefore ordered the municipality to pay nearly 97 thousand euro, plus costs, to the company who built the new barracks.

Bye Bye CAM Bank

Visit Us!

Tourists on cruise ships stopping over at Cartagena could be heading off for trips to San Javier if the municipality’s mayor, José Miguel Luengo, has his way. He's held a meeting with Cartagena port authority chief, Antonio Sevilla, to encourage tour companies to organise coach visits to San Javier and the Mar

Menor area to visit the Air Academy and to learn about local farming and fishing traditions. Antonio Sevilla praised the pioneering idea of the San Javier council and added that he would be setting up a committee that would liase with the cruise companies so as to get the idea off the ground.

The name of the CAM bank has finally disappeared from the branding of the Sabadell Bank which took over the struggling Caja

Mediterráneo in December 2011 which operated across the entire Costa Blanca and Murcia areas. Banco Sabadell will be the

sole national brand for the company as it has dispensed with any regional names of entities that it has taken over in recent years.

News

Friday 25th September 2015

Rajoy’s Blessing

Partido Popular leaders including Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy have attended the same-sex marriage of their deputy secretary-general, giving tacit approval to a law they once bitterly opposed. Javier Maroto exchanged vows with Josema Rodriguez last Friday at a ceremony in the northern city of Vitoria attended by Rajoy, Secretary-general Maria Dolores Cospedal and other party dignitaries. "In Spain, the right to

marriage is for everyone and we all share that message today," said Maroto."Parties evolve," he added. "Now my party and the government join in backing that right." Maroto and Rodriguez have been partners in a same-sex relationship for 19 years. Apart from being a senior PP figure, Maroto is a former mayor of Vitoria. Parliament legalised gay marriage in 2005 under the previous PSOE Socialist govern-

ment, angering conservatives. The PP then challenged the law but the Constitutional Court upheld its legality. Now, a decade after voicing strong opposition to gay marriage, photographs at last weekend’s ceremony showed Rajoy with other party leaders smiling broadly as they posed beside the two grooms. Spain's General Election will almost certainly be held in December.

Loose Hazard The N-332 blackspot of La Mata in Torrevieja was the scene of another accident on Monday after a

trailer came loose from a vehicle travelling on the northbound side. It then careered onto the opposite

carriageway and hit the front of a car, with one woman taken to hospital for treatment.

Does Independence Madrid’s Loom? New Face

Independence campaigners are on track to win a small majority of seats in the Catalunyan Parliament this Sunday, according to three newspaper opinion polls, possibly paving the way for a declaration of independence. Regional President Artur Mas has branded the regional election as a de facto vote on region's separation from the rest of Spain after the Madrid government blocked an official attempt at a referendum on independence last year. The three separate polls for El Pais, La Vanguardia and ABC newspapers show the main pro-independence movement Junts pel Si winning between 63 and 67 seats, or around 41 percent of the vote, just shy of an absolute parliamentary majority. Mas has said that a separatist majority of at least 68 seats in the 135-member parliament is the minimum needed to launch a "road

map" to secession within 18 months. While the polls put Junts pel Si just out of reach of that majority, adding the votes of the more radical left-wing CUP could give the secessionists near to 50 percent of the vote with over 70 seats in Parliament. Last Friday, the major Spanish banks said a split would be a serious threat to financial stability in the region. "The debate has an extremely emotional element and it believe lacks a great deal of real and concrete information on the economic consequences of what they are planning," said BBVA President Francisco Gonzalez. Meanwhile, sources from the government sports body CSD told the El Pais newspaper last Sunday that Barcelona football club would not be allowed to continue to play in La Liga if Catalunya separated from Spain.

Madrid's council is to advertise for a black actor to play the role of Balthazar in January's Three Kings parade, bringing an end to the situation where a white performer would "black" up for the role. Madrid’s City Hall says it has scrapped the racist tradition, after complaints for a number of years that Balthazar should be played by a black man rather than a white man wearing make-up. Socialist councillor Mar Espinar confirmed that council, headed by Podemos mayor Manuela Carmena had agreed to a Socialist petition to change the practice, "to reflect the integration and diversity that increasingly characterizes Madrid's community." "It is one step further in the recognition of the diversity and multiculturalism that characterizes modern Madrid," she added. Last December, over 60 thousand people signed a petition calling for Madrid to choose a black man to play Balthazar in the parade. Critics have long claimed that the parade should reflect Madrid's diversity, while the previous council chiefs always denied claims of racism, citing "tradition" as the reason white men blacked up to play the king.

Friday 25th September 2015

New Resident

A tiny pony found wandering around the San Javier area has been given a new home at the Rojalesbased Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre. Rescue centre co-founder Sue Weeding was called about

the stray by the San Javier police, and said that if the centre could not have taken it in, it would have been put down. “This is why we must always respond to the police” said Sue. “There is no other suitable facility to take horses, ponies and donkeys in our area – we are their only option. If we did not take them, they would be destroyed”. The pony is the 122nd rescue animal brought to the Rescue Centre since it was opened eight years ago. Sue said the pony was about nine years old and in a reasonable condition though quite shy and nervous.

Rock On Woody

The AFA Alzheimer’s Association is set for a useful boost thanks to a fundraiser featuring the popular rock and roll band, Woody and the Peckers. The event is going to be at the Restaurante El Alto La

Dolores, in Guardamar on Friday October 9th, with tickets available from the Restaurant, The Card Place in Benimar, and the Post Room Benijofar, or Telephone 692 866 536.

The San Miguel de Salinas-based Vivace Classical Choir is celebrating its tenth year together and it’s announced its programme for the next few months including the traditional and informal Christmas Carol evening as well as an anniversary concert in March which will feature a performance of Karl Jenkins’ work for

peace, called The Armed Man. Vivace started with 10 members and now has over 60 singers of all nationalities with more people made more than welcome with rehearsals every Thursday evening from 7.15pm in San Miguel’s Casa del Cultura. For more details, phone the Musical Director, Tom Pargeter on 965 720 919.

Vivace’s Decade

What A Fabulous Start

A club based in the Benijofar / Rojales area that helps people cope with losing their loved ones has celebrated its first year. FAB was formed to help people to move on with their lives in a positive way after suffering loss, following a bereavement. FAB co-founder Rosina Montague says that taking the first step is the most difficult. “At FAB we provide practical advice based on experience, we understand

each other, we listen, we support and respect that each of us is coping with our own personal set of problems and worries, but mostly we have learnt to laugh again”, said Rosina. FAB holds monthly meetings at the "The Pato Pekin opposite the BP garage as you enter Rojaies from Benijofar. For more details, you can contact Rosina via E-mail:rosinamontagu3@gmail.com or you can phone James on 965 073 907.

Local & News

Chips Are Down If you’re into quizzes, then why don’t you try a fun quiz night in aid of Help Murcia Mar Menor that’s being staged in San Javier next Friday? The fund-raiser is at Lui’s Lounge at Camping San Javier, and starts on October 2nd at 7.00pm, and the ten euro entry fee also brings you a fish and chip supper. You can reserve a ticket by calling the HMMM office in Los Alcazares on

968 570 059, and put a team together! HMMM is a registered charity funded by voluntary contributions and monies raised at registered social events. They help people of all ages, with all sorts of problems, particularly in emergencies and at times of need, such as in the case of accidents, thefts, break-ins, sudden deaths and when the police or medical services are involved.

Jeanette Erath - Learn Spanish

Friday 25th September 2015

How to spare quaility revision time I often tell my students that the reason I can speak Spanish as well as I can is because I speak it every day. I make sure that I am able to have a conversation in Spanish, or read or listen to the language at least once a day. Whether I´m chatting to friends online or in person, both help me keep my Spanish fresh and in my head. There´s no reason why you can´t do the same, and once you have a good level of conversational Spanish you can begin to make friends, but until then, just read, listen and talk to yourself! It may sound odd but when I was learning Spanish, I used to walk around the house chatting to myself, just practicing phrases and words, until I got them right and was confident

sion over what we’ve done recently, along with a few more translation opportunities as well. We´ll start with going to the doctor, so translate the words into Spanish, and think about not only the words but the way that Spanish people speak:ME:- Hello doctor. I’ve a pain in my leg. DR: - Ok. Whereabouts does it hurt? Can you show me? ME:Yes, it´s here. DR: - Ok. How long has it been hurting? ME:- About four days. It started when I was walking around the market. DR: - Are you taking any painkillers for it? ME:- No, well, just paracetamol. DR: Ok. Come over here and let me have a look. ME:- Ok. DR: - Well, I can´t see any inflammation or injury. Keep taking the paracetamol and if it is still painful come back in five days. ME:Thank you doctor, bye. DR: - Bye. Now we are off to the bank and see how you can translate the following:til you get ME:Good Practice un ery morning. TELLER: it right ev Good morning. How time! can I help you? ME:- I saywould like to set up a direct ing them. debit from my account. This week I´m TELLER: - Ok. How much going to give you some revi- would you like to pay? ME:-

E REVISE WIS SPANISH

50 euros. TELLER: - How often would you like the money to be paid? ME:Every month on the fifteenth of the month. TELLER: What´s your account number? ME:- 234123129. TELLER: - Do you have your NIE? ME:- Yes. Here it is. TELLER: - Ok. Thank you. That’s been done. ME:: Thank you very much. Bye. TELLER: - Thank you. Bye. And finally we’re off shopping. Always remember that translating cannot always be literally word for word, and you have to be thinking in Spanish when you are

translating:ASSISTANT: - Hello, can I help you? ME:- Yes. I want a new washing machine. Can you tell me which of these is better? ASSISTANT:- Well, this one is bigger and can wash clothes in 15 minutes, whereas this other one is slightly smaller and doesn´t have a quick wash, but it is of course cheaper. ME:- Do they both use the same electricity? Are they economical? ASSISTANT: - Yes. They are both good with electricity. ME:- Do you offer free delivery? ASSISTANT: - No. I´m afraid not. Where do

you live? ME:- I live in the next town. ASSISTANT: Then the delivery charge is ten euros. ME:- Oh, that’s ok. How long does it take to be delivered? ASSISTANT: It can be delivered tomorrow or as soon as you would like. ME:- That’s great. Well then, I´ll have this one, thank you. ASSISTANT: - Ok. How are you paying, cash or card? ME:I´ll pay by cash. ASSISTANT: - Ok. Come to the till and we will do everything. ME:- Ok. See how you get on, try not to use a translator except for maybe the odd

word that you aren´t sure of. Next week I will give you my translations but of course you may have some differences. At the end of the day, unless you are doing an exam, the most important thing to remember is to be understood. To practice your pronunciation and expand your vocabulary, you don´t need to be perfect but just to be at a level high enough to have a conversation. If you’ve missed any of my past lessons, then don’t forget to check them out on The Courier website, as well as catching up with all the other great articles.

Pets

Friday 25th September 2015

My Dog Won’t Walk!

Pesky little hackers attempted to attack The Courier website this week, and many others too, which resulted in our service provider having to close down the site whilst the technicians repaired the damage. They successfully blocked the attack, but as a result we had to delay the launch of Pet Idol voting for a couple of days, until we caught up and were sure that the site will not come under attack again.

The good news is that the website is now back up and running, so the voting will start this weekend. We of course apologise for this, although it was out of our hands, and promise it will not affect the final votes.

Is your dog becoming stubborn and refusing to walk, as well as looking totally disinterested in the prospect, or even teases you by walking out with you through the gate, and then just becomes as a solid as a statue? There are many reasons dogs refuse to walk.

Open Finca A local animal sanctuary, Finca San Miguel de Salinas is staging an Open Day tomorrow (Saturday September 26th) with a chance for visitors to see the animals and help the group out to continue financing all the various fees they have to pay to keep their residents nice and happy! They currently have seven horses, three ponies, six goats, two

pigs, two dogs, and a dozen chickens, but they can't take in any additional animals, as they want to make sure that the ones they have already are looked after properly. The Finca is located just off the canal between San Miguel and Villamartin, and the sanctuary would love you to bring along any apples, carrots, or dog food as well as spending a little bit of

money to help the cause. The event starts at 1.00pm. It's also possible to become a member of the organisation for just ten euros per annum, or you can sponsor an animal for five or ten euros a month. There's more information on the website, www.happyanimalesspain.com or via Facebook, where you look for the group, Finca San Miguel de Salinas.

Fearful dogs often balk at venturing into the world. Passive protest is one way they avoid scary things. Physical discomfort such as being too hot or too cold can trigger misbehaviour. Some dogs want the chance to stop and cool down. Other dogs struggle with ice pellets and salt painfully trapped in their paws. Also, consider physical ailments. Orthopedic problems can cause pain. Young dogs are not immune. While rare, early onset hip dysplasia can affect puppies. Once all the usual suspects have been ruled out, carefully evaluate your training technique. Dogs, especially social butterflies, will misbehave to get attention. Some will even act out to get negative attention. Owners may think

prodding and pulling is serving to hurry the dog along. Dogs see things differently. They got the owner’s attention and thus a reward. When owners repeatedly pull a treat out of their pocket to coax a dog along after it lies down, it creates the exact same problem. The dog learns that lying down brings attention and food treats Instead, give rewards while the dog is walking nicely. Encourage the dog to follow you by using your voice and tapping your leg. When the dog follows, reward it with plenty of attention and treats. Continue to reward the dog every few steps, before it decides to lie down. With practice, you will instill new habits and use fewer treats over time. Dogs also tell your state of mind and whether you find the walk “fun”. You need to find ways of making the walk “fun” for both of you. Here are five things to remember and work on:1. Take a different route where there are new smells 2. Go out of

the back or side door instead of the front door (if you can do so!) 3. Go out and then come right back in, then go out again 4. Try adding a jog or run in between walking 5. Keep him guessing what’s next You need to increase your dog's level of “wanting” to go on the dog walk. Stop along the way and practice your basic commands with a treat. Challenge your dog's mind. And always end the walk before he’s ready, even if that means only going for 10 minutes. At least for the initial re-training of the mindset, keep the walks short so you always leave him wanting more. This will change his mindset to anticipate the next walk and want to go. Second, keep in mind that this is a dog that is not saying, “I’m tired.” This is a dog that’s saying, “I’m bored. I want more fun.” The dog is rebelling the structure of the dog walk. Think about it. On the walk, the dog is asked to be calm, to stay with you or behind you, to go at a slower pace. This is structure, and that’s good. Rules, boundaries, and limitations! But finding the balance between that and fun is your challenge.

Pets Corner: Can You take in a Homeless Dog or Cat?

BILLY & BOBBY

CORRY

DINO

MANDY

MILTON

Brothers Billy (pictured) and Bobby will be four years old in February and were rescued by APAH as tiny puppies, but have never been offered a loving home. Their only crime is to have grown up 'big', as no-one wants to give a large dog a loving home. They are gentle, friendly dogs who would be wonderful additions to a loving family. Please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Corry is a beautiful, fluffy dark grey tabby male with stunning white eyeliners, who was rescued with the rest of his brothers and sisters when his feral mum gave birth close to a large supermarket, where the staff looked after her. The kittens are now in the care of APAH, and ready to go to loving homes. To meet the family please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850

Dino is a two year old podenco cross and is such a gentle and loving little boy. He is a medium sized dog and currenlty weighs in at around 15 kilos. He is a friendly and jolly animal and is also great with other dogs. If you can give Dino a home, or just want more information, you can call: 645 469 253, and visit, www.petsinspain.com

Mandy is a beautiful five month old pup, who is very intelligent and sweet. She is very good with the other dogs and cats that she is currently being fostered with. Mandy is lots of fun and just wants to play and loves getting attention. For more on this adorable girl please phone PEPA on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Milton came into the SAT kennels with his brother when they were four months old, and they were lucky to be alive after being found in a cardboard box in direct sunlight. Milton has been at the kennels for the last four years, and is a happy, healthy and playful boy, as well as being very handsome! Please phone 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

RHYVRE Rhyvre is a gorgeous four to five month old pup. She is very good with other animals and is currently being fostered in a home with other dogs and cats. She is very gentle and placid loves sitting on your knee. For more on Rhyvre please phone PEPA on 650 304 746 email or p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Friday 25th September 2015

Do you need an adviser to look after your UK pension fund?

13 There have been a lot of articles written about transferring your pension away from the UK, but what if you wanted to leave your pension in the UK? Many clients have UK pension funds but do not wish to transfer them into a QROPS. This may be due to the cost of a QROPS or quite simply because they prefer to leave it in the known and safe jurisdiction of the UK. Often, clients move to Spain and no longer have a Financial Adviser to recommend how to get the best growth from their pension fund. This is because UK advisers will not deal with non-UK clients. If you have a UK pension fund, ask yourself these questions

1. Do you know where or how its invested? 2. Are you getting regular updates on how each fund is performing? 3. Are you maximising all the investment opportunities that are open to you? If not, then we can help you! One option is to transfer your pension to a UK SelfInvested Personal Pension (SIPP). A SIPP gives you a greater range of investment choice than a personal pension plan, notably equities and property. Also while itÂ´s invested, the SIPP remains tax free and so avoids capital gains tax, income tax and inheritance tax. By transferring your fund to a SIPP, your pension will remain in the UK and if you wanted to move your pension into a QROPS at a later date then this can be done at no charge. The other advantage is that it costs a lot less than transferring your pension fund to a QROPS. The greatest benefit of transferring to a SIPP is that we can manage it for you to get you the best potential growth from your pension. We will offer you different investment options and then monitor the progress of your pension fund. With our help you will decide how and where it is invested. I believe the only way to maximise any investment fundÂ´s performance whether it be a pension fund or an investment portfolio is to spread your money over many different investment products and then monitor each product to ensure that they are on track. If you would like us to look at your existing UK pension arrangements then please call us to make an appointment at our Benijofar Office and we can explain in more detail how a SIPP can benefit you. You can call on 965 704 338 or email us at contact@seagatewealth.es

Friday 25th September 2015

Tony Mayes - About Life

The Most Unwelcome Visitors

Some friends of ours were on holiday in a rental home in the Los Balcones area of Torrevieja last week, but their stay ended in total disaster and a major hassle. The evening before they were due to leave for their flight home, they packed their bags and left for a last meal out at a local restaurant. Some opportunist thieves must have been monitoring, because while they were out they smashed in the front door and ransacked the place, smashing interior locked cupboards and making off with our friends' suitcases and hand-luggage, containing about £250 of spare cash as well as their passports. Everything was taken and nothing left behind. It was then a mad dash to contact the rental agent, police and consul to report the crime, make statements and get the necessary paperwork so they had replacement passports for the return flight. They made it to the airport check-in at AlicanteElche with just three minutes to spare! The whole experience was extremely traumatic, especially for two of t h e p a r t y, w h o are in their seventies. What is clear is that this was no random burglary, as the thieves must have b e e n watching and s a w them leaving. It means people must always be aware of anyone hanging around keeping watch on properties and to report anything suspicious. And it also showed how easy it is for burglars to smash their way through an ordinary front door. Although they are

unsightly and annoying, security grills over windows and doors are worth having, because at least they make it slightly more difficult for burglars. Alarms may be all well and good, but how many people actually respond to them? There was a tragic death in the UK last week - a 20-something woman returned home after partying, obviously the worse for wear, began smoking while sitting on her sofa, and set it alight when she fell asleep. The smoke alarm went off but it took an hour before anyone bothered to respond, and by time she had died. Give it a few years and you’ll be able to get your own personal robot (man or woman), which will be capable of fulfilling all your sexual needs! According to the robotics industry, the prototypes are just around the corner, and the first, called Roxxxy will soon be on the market for a cool six thousand euros. Their creators, True Companion, says: "We are not supplanting the wife or trying to replace a girlfriend. This is a solution for people who are between relationships or someone who has lost a spouse.” Roxxxy is the first of a long line of planned intelligent robots capable of "thinking", thus becoming a self-learning engine who is able to talk to h e r

owner a n d learn his or her likes or dislikes. "The physical act of sex will only be a s m a l l part of the time you spend with a sex robot - the majority of time will be spent socialising and interacting," says the company's chief executive Douglas Hines. Roxxxy and her male counterpart could be incredibly useful mate! Soon

women will be able to have a personalised intelligent robotic man to do the housework and accompany her without any hint of complaint on shopping expeditions, dutifully "enjoying" trips to shoe shops and IKEA. And the female version will be able to accompany him to football and rugby matches without complaint, discuss the play expertly and have his meals dutifully on the table when he returns from work. But not surprisingly Roxxxy and her mates have already attracted the attention of critics, and one, Dr Kathleen Richardson, a robot ethicist at De Montfort University in Leicester, wants a ban on the development of robots that can be used for sex. "Sex robots seem to be a growing focus in the robotics industry and the models that they draw on - how they will look, what roles they would play are very disturbing indeed," she said. Richardson believes that they re-enforce traditional stereotypes of women and the view that a relationship need be nothing more than physical. "We think that the creation of such robots will contribute to detrimental relationships between men and women, adults and children, men and men and women and women," she added. This is only the opening salvo of a huge ethical debate. On one side will be those who will say the availability of a robot capable of looking and remaining as a person's dream man or woman will destroy human relationships. Others will argue it will end rapes, sexual attacks, the need for prostitution and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. But one thing is certain, the era of intelligent sex robots will be here soon and it will be an unstoppable force, just like everything else associated with the sex industry. Statistics from the Bank of England make for some very interesting reading and demonstrates that Brits are a nation of cash hoarders. They reveal that at least half of all UK banknotes which

have been issued are held overseas; hidden;, or being used in the black market, and only a quarter of cash in circulation is being used to buy and sell things. Much of it is squirrelled away under people's mattresses; buried in gardens; or fuelling the black market; or held in vaults by people living overseas, rather being held by banks. Much of that money is "dodgy" money, being hidden away from the authorities or perhaps from spouses! The figures from the Bank also show that most transactions take place by the use of plastic or transfer and less by actual cash, and only one percent is now by cheque. It shows people change their habits so quickly! I've long suspected that a large number of benefits claimants deliberately behave badly, dress ridiculously, or cover themselves in obnoxious tattoos and or metalwork - because they don't want to ever get off the dole. The boss of a care home, Shaun Drury has spoken out over the issue, claiming that many of the unemployed people he has interviewed have turned up in a shell-suit, given him high fives and spoken in one-word

sentences. The job-seekers' performance has in some cases been so weak that he has concluded they are looking for an excuse to avoid giving up their benefits. UK unemployed people must sign up for job interviews even if they don't actually want to work, because otherwise they face having their handouts withdrawn. Mr Drury - the general manager at Quality Lifestyle Ltd in Plymouth, Devon - said: 'The problem is that many of them, in my experience, don't actually want a job. They almost look like the comedy character Ali G, or express themselves in mono-syllabic non-sequiturs so that even the most desperate employer wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. And that's even if they bother to turn up.” Of course if Job Centres conclude that claimants are not actively seeking employment, they can have their £112-a-week Jobseeker's Allowance removed. So it's about time that Job Centre staff take a much tougher attitude to stop this abuse which verges on taking the Michael! UK landlords, many of whom that make Rigsby on Rising Damp look

respectable, need to face the music, with the Local Government Association calling for stiffer punishments against rogue landlords, who only get a slap on the wrist with a paltry fine. In one case, 10 people, including children, were living in a property infested with cockroaches and mice. Currently the highest penalty for housing offences is a fine. The LGA said a small minority of landlords were "creating misery" for tenants. In theory fines can be unlimited, but the LGA said a lack of guidelines was allowing magistrates not to take landlords' financial circumstances into consideration during sentencing, resulting in "paltry fines". The average fine for housing offences is £1,500, with the maximum fine going to £5,000. Gerald VernonJackson, vice chairman of the LGA, said: "For a landlord who owns hundreds of houses and gets tens of thousands of pounds every month, it's like giving a premiership footballer a speeding fine of £1,000 - it makes no difference." The housing shortage means landlords can charge more in rents and some act like little Hitlers. Time for a change methinks.

ISSUE 4 25TH SEPTEMBER 2015

Friday 25th September 2015

Property +

Introducing the Model Alba The “Model Alba” property serves up amongst one of the most modern styled dwellings on the market today. They are a new design of construction for detached houses, with a private pool, spacious garden and parking access. The Residential “El Amanecer” complex is located on the north side of Torrevieja, within walking distance from a major supermarket, a school, a park and garden area, and is moments away from one of the most iconic and historically recognisable symbols of Torrevieja and La Mata, the Torre del Moro, or Moor´s Tower. It takes just 10 minutes to walk to the beaches, which offer a selection ranging from the quite coves to the bustling and vibrant beaches where summer games and seaside cocktail bars take precedence, and surf-

ing is popular in the winter months. The location is also just off the major bus routes that serve the entire local area, as well as the city centre, and is directly linked with the main national road and motorway networks. The modern styled houses can be identified by the unique design, combining the spacious windows, a lot of light, best interior and exterior materials, natural stone and a lot of details making this project both different and comfortable. The main entrance is from the interior street that gives more privacy and comfort. All plots start from 300 to 400 m2. All properties will be built in 2 floors, with 119 m2 across the entire construction, and with a possibility of an “underbuild” (cellar) also available on

request. The spacious ground floor consists of a living – dining room, independent kitchen, bathroom and guest bedroom; on the first floor you will find 2 bedrooms, both en suite, spacious balcony and solarium exit. All villas are constructed with a best quality materials, as well as construction and interior decorating, are made an air conditioning by conducts pre-installation, solar battery for a hot water, and much more. To arrange a viewing, contact Best Price Properties on 966 44 33 81, quoting reference number BPP-7242, or your local real estate agent who will also be able to offer more details about this unique and exclusive opportunity to purchase a modern property suitable for living, rental or investment.

Property +

Friday 25th September 2015

Property +

Friday 25th September toâ&#x20AC;&#x2C6;Thursday 1st October 2015

2 - The Courier TV Pull-out

Strictly Showtime – Whatson’s Choice For fans of glitz and glamour, it is our weekend, as the new stars of Strictly Come Dancing return to our screens after their three weeks of training and wow us with everything they’ve learnt. This week, I am dressed for the occasion, with my sequined cummerbund and sparkly collared-shirt, ready to step in if anybody drops out, as I am certain that I could be the next champion of the dance floor, if anybody bothered to ask me that is. The rugby is still continuing, and still messing up the soaps, so keep your eye on

the listings pages for all the changes. Wasn’t Corrie exciting though! The live episode was something else. Yeah, one or two little hiccups, but nothing serious. I for one wouldn’t want to meet that Callum on a dark night! Although the actor who plays him is lovely and happens to be dating Georgia MayFoot, who used to be on Corrie and is now in Strictly… I want her to win now, not out of fear, but

because she is going to be very good… Probably! In other tear jerking tele moments this week we have the Pride of Britain awards, celebrating some great people and their emotional stories, so that is definitely one to watch, so long as you keep the tissues on hand. There’s also a shooting on Emmerdale this week, but who is responsible and

will the real culprit come forward, they are the questions on everybody’s lips, or at least they will be now. I have one more little thing to say after my joke of the week, a dance related little giggle, “Why don't dogs make good dancers? Because they have two left feet!” But when I was looking for a dancing joke I stumbled across a great inspirational line which I thought I would leave you with. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. Tatty bye my friends, tatty bye.

Weekends Get Glamorous

Strictly Come Dancing is back for this weekend’s live two-part spectacular on Friday. Join Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman as they bring the sparkly back into the nation’s living rooms. Three weeks ago Strictly’s famous 15 stepped off the red carpet and onto the dancefloor. This weekend, after three weeks of training, the time has finally come for six of our celebrity contestants to enter the famous

Strictly ballroom with their professional dancers for the very first time. The big question is - do they have what it takes to impress Len Goodman, Darcey Bussell, Bruno Tonioli and Craig Revel Horwood? The awesome foursome will be on hand to critique the celebrities and their professional dance partners. But no one will leave the competition tonight. The Judges' scores

Dangermouse Begins...Again!

Danger Mouse (Alexander Armstrong) is set to return to our screens from Monday. At his side is his everfaithful but always fearful sidekick Penfold (Kevin Eldon). Together our two best friends take on all manner of mind-blowing missions, aided, abetted and aggravated by a menagerie of old and new allies and adversaries and all manner of tech-defying gadgets. More breathtaking, more dangerous, more rib-ticklingly hilarious than ever before. In the double-length opening episode Danger Mouse Begins..Again , DM finds

himself instantly fired for destroying half of London in the opening chase scene. Apparently the Baron has turned over a new leaf and become a good guy supplying law enforcement robots to everyone around the world FOR FREE! A freelance DM infiltrates the Baron’s apparently ‘clean’ business but it’s soon revealed the Baron has been up to no good after all. Everyone realises the world needs Danger Mouse and he springs into his most outrageous, destructive action yet and into the brand new series.

are carried over to the following week when vote lines will open, and the viewers get their say on their favourite couple. The remaining nine couples will be dancing on Saturday evening. Meanwhile, Strictly Come Dancing’s cheeky little sister It Takes Two returns to BBC Two from Monday through to Thursday and it's bigger and better than ever before. Zoe Ball presents the popular weeknight show, giving viewers a daily dose of Strictly sparkle. As ever It Takes Two will feature expert dance analysis, updates, and exclusives from the training rooms, plus first looks at the dancefloor outfits and styling. It Takes Two will be exclusively revealing news of the music tracks the celebs will be dancing to each week. There will also be sneaky peeks of the group dance

training, and nostalgic look backs from the most memorable moments from Strictly’s history. This year, viewers will also get the chance to see even more from professional dancer Robin Windsor on It Takes Two, as he joins Karen Hardy and Ian Waite in both studio and filmed reports. Professional dancer Joanne Clifton will also be popping up as a regular dance expert with the latest gossip and news direct from the famous Strictly Come Dancing ballroom. All of this each weekday alongside the introduction of a special hour long episode every Friday, featuring a live studio audience packed full of Strictly fans, live music and exclusive live reports from the Strictly ballroom at Elstree Studios will ensure this is one party you will not want to miss.

Welcome To The Mosque

East London Mosque is one of the largest in Europe and the central hub of East London’s Muslim community, but for many it’s a place of mystery and the unknown. Documentary filmmaker Robb Leech has been granted access to the mosque and takes us inside to find out what life is really like for some of the two million people who come through the doors every year. Leech first came to The East London Mosque with his stepbrother Richard, who’d converted to an extreme brand of Islam, and was convicted of preparing

terrorist acts and jailed. Now the Mosque has invited Robb back. During eight months of filming he captures key moments: from the rituals of washing before Friday prayers to preparing Muslim couples for marriage at the centre’s very own match-making service. Robb meets young Muslims at the Mosque’s school who discuss ‘British values’. He meets older community members who tell him about the racism they experienced growing up in the East End; he witnesses segregation and attempts to understand its cultural value.

British Pride

Thursday 1 October The Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards is back and bigger than ever. Hosted by Carol Vorderman, the annual glittering ceremony marks its 17th year with a star-studded gala at the Grosvenor House Hotel on London’s Park Lane, which will be televised Thursday 1st October at 8pm on ITV The Daily Mirror’s 17th annual Pride of Britain Awards is a unique night of truly extraordinary heroes. It is packed with the most amazingly uplifting and moving stories of courage, selflessness and achievement against the odds – and more than a few surprises along the way.

Cider With Rosie

Sunday 27 September A vivid memoir of Laurie Lee’s childhood, Cider With Rosie is an evocative coming-of-age story set in an idyllic Cotswold village during and immediately after the Great War. Marking the journey of young Lol as he grows from boy to man, the story chronicles first love, loss and family upheaval. Lol’s boyhood escapades take place in a rural world as yet untouched by electricity and cars - a place suspended between history and modernity.

The X Factor Melvin Odoom

As one half of the new Xtra Factor hosting duo, Melvin Odoom is taking his new job very seriously and has gone to extreme lengths to find out what it’s really like to be an X Factor contestant. During this year’s Boot Camp, filmed at a grand country house, Melvin proved his commitment and dedication to the job when he spent the day as a contestant. Brushing up on his vocal and dancing skills before taking to the stage to audition in front of our judging panel - Nick Grimshaw, Rita Ora, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and Simon Cowell. Melvin performed the hit record by Mark Ronson ‘Uptown Funk’ and went all out on his appearance and dance moves.. but did he manage to impress the judges? Tune into Xtra Factor Sunday 27th September to see Melvin in action’.

Friday 25th September 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 The One Show

06:55 F1: Japanese Grand Prix 08:45 Break-in Britain The Crackdown 09:15 Gardeners’ World 09:45 Great British Menu 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 12:30 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Rockford Files 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Tom Kerridge’s Best Ever Dishes 16:00 Best Bakes Ever 16:45 Africa 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 19:30 Eggheads

20:30 A Question of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light- 20:00 Mary Berry’s hearted sports quiz Absolute Favourites The veteran cook focuses on 21:00 EastEnders The res- recipes inspired by her love idents of Albert Square reel of the countryside from the latest developments in Max’s trial 20:30 Great British Menu Culinary competition 21:30 Still Open All Hours Granville is determined to 21:00 Mastermind improve Gastric’s image Contestants take to the black chair 22:00 Strictly Come Dancing Tess and Claudia 21:30 Gardeners’ World present the first night in a Joe visits a `drinkable’ allotlive dancing double bill as ment in London six celebrities and their dancing partners take to the 22:00 Patagonia: Earth’s floor for the very first time, Secret Paradise The rarely South American before the next group to the seen wilderness same on Sunday 23:00 News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show 00:25 Pound Shop Wars 00:55 Film - The Box (12) 02:40 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:45 News

23:00 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 23:30 Newsnight 00:00 Artsnight 00:30 Later with Jools Holland 01:35 Film The Children (15)

SOAPS

about the break-in and gloats that he set up the rent boy. Lawrence is infuriated.

In Emmerdale, Andy flies at Robert as he is sickened by his manipulation. Aaron breaks the fight up, but Andy is shocked further when Chas guiltily covers for Aaron and Robert - lying that Katie was going to leave him. Andy runs out when Diane and Victoria start to be hoodwinked by Robert’s lies. Chas privately tells Robert to drop dead when he thanks her. Robert’s troubles continue when Lawrence confronts him, explaining that he had an interesting chat with Chrissie. Steeling himself for a fight, Robert explains

Later that day, Chas warns Robert to leave the village tonight if he values his life. However, Robert doesn’t take notice of Chas’s warning. As he takes a step back, there’s a sudden sound of a gunshot. Blood appears on Robert’s chest. His eyes meet Chas’s in utter shock as he collapses... Robert slumps forward onto Chas after being shot. Lawrence arrives and Dan jumps into action, trying to save Robert. Bob leads a shocked Chas into

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale Robert is shot 20:30 Coronation Street Things will never be the same for the Platts 21:00 Emmerdale Robert’s life hangs by a thread 21:30 Coronation Street Terror reigns at the Platts 22:00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Piers chats to John Lydon - aka Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols - about his remarkable life and career. The punk icon looks back on his controversial rise to fame and notoriety in the band that sent shock waves through the music industry and beyond 23:00 News at Ten and Weather 23:40 Film - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (12) 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Britain’s Best Bakery 04:50 Nightscreen the pub as the paramedics lift Robert into the ambulance. Lawrence calls Chrissie and leaves her an urgent message.

While out walking on a road, Lachlan throws something into the hedge when he sees Lawrence’s car. He is visibly shaken when he’s told that Robert has been shot. At the hospital, it’s clear

The Courier TV Pull-out - 3

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 Four Rooms 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 14:35 Racing from Newmarket 17:00 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 James Corden Does Deal or No Deal James Corden goes head to head with the meanest man on telly: the Banker. James takes on the infamous boxes with help from friends and family in the wings 22:00 Gogglebox Britain’s favourite opinionated TV viewers share their sharp, insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques of the week’s biggest and shows on television

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:25 Celebrity Big Brother 14:10 News 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Like Mother, Like Daughter (15) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 World’s Biggest Beasts Learn about a bird with the wingspan of a fighter jet, a snake that could swallow a man whole, or a marine reptile with a bite twice as powerful as a T-Rex

ITV3 21:00 World’s Biggest Beasts Learn about an insect that grew to three feet, a giant rhino twice the size of an elephant and the nearest thing to a real-life dragon 22:00 NCIS: New Orleans Pride joins forces with an old buddy who has been given a lethal dose of polonium

23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:05 First Dates 01:10 Bad Robots 01:40 Rude Tube 02:35 Film Beginners (15) 04:20 Supernatural 05:05 River Cottage Bites 05:20 Deal or No Deal

23:00 NCIS 23:55 NCIS: Los Angeles 00:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 Super Casino 04:10 Angry Britain 05:00 Katie Price: In Therapy 05:45 House Doctor

that Robert’s life hangs by a thread as a team of medics stand over him. As Victoria tells Diane they should have stopped Andy, Robert flatlines and is rushed into surgery...

and Lloyd reminisce about the good old times.

In Coronation Street, life will never be the same for the Platts after the events of the night before. Tim tries to come to terms with Sally’s betrayal. Can he forgive her and Kevin? Cathy and Roy agree to take things slowly. In the second part, terror reigns at the Platt house. Meanwhile, can Tim forgive Kevin for his kiss with Sally, or is their friendship over? Elsewhere, Steve

07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 The Cube 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 You’ve Been Framed 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Judge Rinder 16:40 Jeremy Kyle 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film The Shawshank Redemption (15) 00:55 Two and a Half Men 01:50 Fake Reaction

In Eastenders, everyone in court is shocked by Jane’s revelation and her friends find it particularly difficult to come to terms with her bombshell. However, with the prosecution tearing Jane apart, will her version of events be believed? Meanwhile, Robbie confides in Sonia about his troubles, admitting that he has no money and Nita has left him. However, when Carol learns of the situation, she shockingly tells Robbie to pack his bags and leave the Square again.

07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Lewis 14:00 Heartbeat 15:00 The Royal 16:05 Where the Heart is 17:15 Doctor in the House 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Foyle’s War 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:15 Lewis ITV4 07:00 Movies Now 07:10 Alias Smith and Jones 08:00 The Car Chasers 09:00 Hogan’s Heroes 10:05 The Professionals 11:05 Magnum, PI 12:05 Alias Smith and Jones 13:10 Minder 14:15 The Car Chasers 15:15 Pawn Stars 16:05 Hogan’s Heroes 17:15 Rugby World Cup: Argentina v Georgia 20:00 Rugby World Cup Greatest XV 21:00 Film - Invictus (12) 23:45 Benidorm 00:45 Film - First Blood (15) 02:40 Minder 03:35 Nitro Circus 03:55 Nightscreen

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Saturday 26th September

4 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 F1: Japanese Grand Prix 09:30 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live Martin: James 12:30 Home Comforts 13:00 News 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday F1: 14:00 Sportsday Japanese Grand Prix 15:30 Bargain Hunt 16:15 Money for Nothing 17:00 Final Score 18:10 News 18:30 Pointless 19:15 Strictly Come more Nine Dancing celebrities take to the floor Who Doctor 20:45 Trapped and alone on the planet Skaro, the Doctor is at the heart of the Dalek Empire - no sonic, no TARDIS, nobody to help

07:10 Film - Journey Into Fear (U) 08:20 Film Apache Territory (PG) 09:30 F1 10:30 Racing Legends: Stirling Moss 11:30 Animal Park 12:00 More Creatures Great and Small 13:00 Great British Menu 14:00 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 14:30 Two Greedy Italians: Still Hungry 15:30 Coast 16:15 The World’s Busiest Railway 2015 17:15 Flog It 18:15 The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure 19:15 Gardeners’ World 19:45 Natural World The intimate story of a leopard mother and her two cubs

07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 08:00 Share a Story 08:05 Fish Hooks 08:20 Horrid Henry 08:35 Adventure Time 09:00 Marvel Avengers 09:30 Assemble Thunderbirds are Go 10:00 Jessie 10:25 News 10:30 The Unforgettable Benny Hill 11:15 The X Factor 13:15 News and Weather 13:25 Downton Abbey 15:00 Rugby World Cup: Italy v Canada 17:30 Rugby World Cup: South Africa v Samoa 19:55 News and Weather

Terror

21:15 Film - Midnight’s Children (15) Two newborn babies are swapped in a hospital

20:15 Rugby World Cup Wales. v England Coverage of the Pool A encounter at Twickenham, where the old rivals meet in arguably the most eagerly awaited fixture of the pool stage. Presented by John Inverdale with Clive Woodward (Kick-off 9:00pm)

23:15 News 23:30 Match of the Day 01:05 Film Mystery Road (15) 03:00 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:05 News

23:30 Cradle to Grave 00:00 Boy Meets Girl 00:30 Film - A Walk to Remember (PG) 02:05 Film - Strawberry Fields (12) 03:30 BBC Two

the Through 23:20 Keyhole 00:20 News and Weather 00:35 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Show Me the Telly

National The 21:35 Lottery: In It to Win It Five contestants compete in a quiz 22:25 Casualty comes to Holby

20:45 Dad’s Army The Home Guard are responsibile for the defence of Walmington-On-Sea

07:05 How I Met Your Mother 07:30 Challenge Weymouth 08:30 FIM World Superbike Championship 09:00 The 10:00 Line Morning Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:55 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Racing: Newmarket and Market Rasen 17:10 News 17:30 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 Location, Location, Location Celebrity 20:00 Benchmark The first celebrity special of the new game show in which one win could contestant £50,000 for charity 21:00 Film - Snow White and the Huntsman (12) Snow White is on the run from her evil stepmother who has sent a group of men into the woods to capture her. But the huntsman leading the search learns that he is also a victim of the Queen’s duplicity 23:30 Film - Van Helsing (12) 02:05 Alan Carr: 03:00 Man Chatty Hollyoaks Omnibus 05:05 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems

07:00 Milkshake 10:30 Dora and Friends 11:00 SpongeBob Squarepants 11:35 Cowboy Builders 13:30 Cowboy Builders and Bodge Jobs 14:20 Film - Columbo Cries Wolf (PG) 16:20 Columbo 18:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 19:10 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away

14:05 The X Factor 16:10 The Xtra Factor 17:15 Catchphrase 17:55 Film Nim’s Island (U) 19:50 Film - Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (12) 22:00 Film - The Back-Up Plan (12) 00:15 Celebrity Juice

20:10 Funniest Falls, Flops and Fails Compilation of hilarious footage submitted by members of the public

13:40 Foyle’s War 19:55 Doc Martin 21:00 Lewis 23:00 A Touch of Frost 01:15 Wire in the Blood

ITV3

ITV4

21:00 Now That’s Funny A brand new series showcasing the very best internet videos

22:00 Football League Tonight Fulham host QPR, Brentford take on Sheffield Wednesday and Derby County travel to MK Dons

13:45 Pawn Stars 15:05 British Superbike Championship Highlights 16:10 Film - Rio Bravo (U) 19:00 Storage Wars New York 20:00 Storage Wars 20:30 Film - Cannonball Run II (PG) 22:45 Film National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (PG) 00:30 Film - First Blood(15)

23:30 Stevie Wonder: An All-Star Grammy Salute 01:15 The Gadget Show 02:05 Super Casino 04:10 Spike Fight Night

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Keith Nicol

21:55 5 News Weekend

Sunday 27th September 06:00 F1: Japan 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:15 F1: Japanese Grand Prix Replay 16:15 Eat Well for Less? 17:15 The Great British Bake Off 18:15 Points of View 18:30 Songs of Praise 19:05 News 19:30 Countryfile Matt and Ellie present this year’s One Man and His Dog competition 20:30 Antiques Roadshow Among the finds are an art nouveau vase, a Georgian dolls’ house and a letter from Lord Nelson 21:30 Cider with Rosie Adaptation of Laurie Lee’s memoir of his childhood and adolescence 23:00 News 23:30 Match of the Day 2 00:20 The Women’s Football Show 00:50 Imagine 01:45 Weather 01:50 News

07:45 Gardeners’ World 08:15 The Beechgrove Garden 08:45 Match of the Day 10:15 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:45 Great British Menu 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 Homes Under the Hammer 15:00 Escape to the Continent 16:00 Cycling: World Road Championships 17:30 Flog It 18:30 Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise 19:30 World’s Weirdest Events 20:30 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice Sister series to The Great British Bake Off 21:00 Top Gear Compilation of their finest moments from series 22 22:00 Special Forces Ultimate Hell Week The ten remaining recruits enter the world of a Russian special forces unit 23:00 Family Guy 00:10 Film - Youth in Revolt (15) 01:35 Film - Love Like Poison (15) 02:55 Countryfile 03:50 Holby City 04:50 This is BBC Two

07:00 Bottom Knocker Street 07:35 Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 08:00 Share a Story 08:05 Fish Hooks 08:20 Horrid Henry 08:35 The Matt Hatter Chronicles 09:00 Marvel Avengers Assemble 09:30 Thunderbirds are Go 10:00 Horrible Science 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:25 Jeremy Kyle 12:30 Rugby: Australia v Uruguay 14:55 Rugby: Scotland v USA 17:30 Rugby: Ireland v Romania 19:45 News and Weather 20:00 The X Factor The drama continues at Boot Camp in a grand country house setting 22:00 Downton Abbey Plans for the wedding are gathering steam, but Lady Mary’s meddling lands Carson in trouble 23:00 News and Weather 23:20 Rugby World Cup Highlights 00:20 Perspectives 01:20 Murder, She Wrote 02:20 Jackpot247 04:00 Motorsport UK 04:50 British Superbike Championship Highlights 05:40 Nightscreen

07:10 How I Met Your Mother 07:35 Mobil 1 The Grid 08:05 Volkwagen Racing Cup 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 Film Beaches (15) 16:45 Film St Trinian’s 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold (PG) 18:50 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 19:45 News 20:00 Time Crashers The final challenge takes the celebrities back to 43AD 21:00 First Humans: The Cave Discovery Discovery of fossilised remains in a deep and nearly inaccessible cave in South Africa 22:00 This is England ‘90 Life begins to take a darker turn as autumn draws in and honesty, loyalty and forgiveness are tested to the limit 23:05 Gogglebox 00:10 Film - This is 40 (15) 02:40 It’s a Weird World 03:40 Come Dine with Me 05:25 Location, Location, Location

07:00 Milkshake 10:30 Dora and Friends 10:55 SpongeBob Squarepants 11:30 Football League Tonight 13:00 Police Interceptors 14:55 Film 2012 (12) 17:50 Film Planet of the Apes (12) 20:00 Film The Forbidden Kingdom (12) A kung-fu obsessed American teenager goes on a magical journey to ancient China when he finds a golden staff belonging to the imprisoned Monkey King 21:55 5 News Weekend National and international news

14:35 You’ve Been Framed 16:10 Film - Nim’s Island (U) 18:05 Film - The Polar Express (U) 20:00 Film - Uncle Buck (12) 22:00 The Xtra Factor 23:00 Film - 300 (15) 01:20 Viral Tap ITV3 13:35 Film - Sparkling Cyanide (PG) 15:30 Foyle’s War 22:00 Sunday Night at the Palladium 23:00 Birds of a Feather 23:35 City Lights 00:35 Wycliffe ITV4

22:00 Film - Just Go with it (12) A plastic surgeon invents an elaborate scheme to win the heart of his dream woman by pretending to be getting a divorce, but the plan backfires when his ideal date asks to meet his soon-tobe ex-wife

11:00 MSA British Touring Cars 19:30 Goodwood Cars of the Future 20:30 Goodwood Revival 21:30 Storage Wars 22:00 Film Waterworld (PG) 00:40 Film - Rambo: First Blood Part II (15) 02:45 Hell on Wheels

23:55 Film - Welcome to the Jungle (15) 01:45 Tattoo Disasters: UK 02:15 Super Casino 04:10 Transporter: The Series

09:00 Trev Massey, 12:00 Gordon Lack, 15:00 Tony De Love

Monday 28th September 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Saints and Scroungers 08:45 Break-in Britain - The Crackdown 09:15 Escape to the Continent 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 12:30 The Daily Politics 14:00 A to Z of TV Gardening 14:10 The Rockford Files 15:00 Cycling: World Road Championships - Men’s 16:30 A Taste of Britain 17:00 Best Bakes Ever 21:00 EastEnders It’s 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It judgement day for Max as 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 his fate is about to be Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two sealed

07:20 How I Met Your Mother 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Deal or No Deal 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen 20:00 Emmerdale Suspicions are raised fol- to One 17:00 Posh Pawn 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 lowing the shooting Come Dine with Me 19:00 Simpsons 19:30 20:30 Coronation Street The Hollyoaks 20:00 News The Platts live in fear

21:00 Britain as Seen on ITV Focusing on the chang20:00 This Wild Life ing face of the modern Cheeky monkeys are tak- woman ing over the safari camp 21:30 Coronation Street 20:30 Great British Menu The Platts try to focus on the future Culinary competition

21:30 Panorama As Europe witnesses the dramatic movement of people across its borders, Panorama reporter John Sweeney joins thousands making the journey from the University Greek island of Kos to the 21:00 Austrian border with Challenge Quiz show Hungary 21:30 Only Connect Quiz 22:00 All Change at show Longleat As winter approaches, the estate is 22:00 Countdown To Life: being transformed In the The Extraordinary Making house, renovations com- Of You Michael Mosley mence on the grand stair- charts the final months of life in the womb case 23:00 News 23:35 Coldplay, Ed Sheeran, Beyonce and Pearl Jam at the Global Citizen Festival 00:30 The Graham Norton Show 01:15 Weather

23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Monday at Conference 00:45 Top Gear 01:45 Bake Off 02:45 Who Do You Think You Are?

SOAPS

Soon afterwards, Chas finds it hard to re-live the night of the shooting as she is questioned by the police. She is terrified that Aaron was the one who pulled the trigger.

In Emmerdale, Diane and Victoria worry because Andy is missing and they wonder if he could have pulled the trigger. Diane is relieved when she later hears that Andy has been in touch at last. At the same time, Aaron warns Chas to stay away from Chrissie and is frustrated when she doesn’t mention Chrissie’s gun to the police.

Over at Home Farm, Chrissie is concerned that the gun and bracelet are both missing from the safe. Lawrence warns Chrissie and Lachlan not to say anything to the police about the gun. Chrissie doesn’t mention to him that Chas already knows about it and she is soon anxious to find out what Chas has been saying to the police. In Coronation Street, The

The Courier TV Pull-out - 5

21:00 Jamie’s Super Food Jamie helps 84-yearold Giorgios work the land and enjoys a lunch overlooking the sea

21:30 Food Unwrapped Kate finds out why she’s paying for pistachios that 22:00 Doc Martin Louisa she can’t crack open and and Martin have their first therapy session together, eat but neither of them expected to be given homework. 22:00 The Catch The Louisa is surprised when Govenek of Ladram heads Martin agrees to let school- out to sea after being in the boy Peter Cronk do work harbour for seven weeks experience at the surgery, but Morwenna is not quite Sex Diaries: so happy about it when 23:00 00:05 24 Webcam Couples Peter starts trying to boss Hours in A and E 01:10 her around Hunted 02:05 This is 23:00 News and Weather England ‘90 03:00 Cinema 23:45 Piers Morgan’s Life on Cinema: Battu’s Stories 00:45 Murder, She Bioscope 04:10 Grand Wrote 01:40 Jackpot247 Designs 05:05 You 04:00 Jeremy Kyle 04:55 Deserve This House Nightscreen Platts live in fear. Meanwhile, Cathy is delighted when Roy invites her to dine out with him. As Cathy gets dolled up to the nines for their first date, a self-conscious Roy waits in the Bistro.

Elsewhere, Sophie is shocked to see her mum so heartbroken by Tim’s reaction to her kiss with Kevin. As she wallows on the sofa at home, Rita firmly orders Sally to buck

herself up and sort out the mess with Tim. In part 2, The Platts try to focus on the future. After a few first date nerves, Roy and Cathy relax in each other’s company. When Roy takes her back to the café for coffee, how will the evening end? Rita forces Sally to get dressed and drags her to The Rovers to show Tim what he’s missing. Galvanised by Rita’s pep talk, Sally approaches Tim. Will he be able to forgive and forget? In Eastenders, Max’s fate is about to be revealed in court. Those who know the

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 The Yorkshire Vet 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: New Orleans 16:15 Film - Garage Sale Mystery: The Wedding Dress 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 The Gadget Show The gang finds out if curved 4K TVs are worth the price tag, rides real-life hoverboards, and go behind the scenes of the Slow Mo Guys HQ

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Psych 07:55 Emmerdale 09:00 Coronation Street 10:00 You’ve Been Framed 10:30 Psych 11:20 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 Coronation Street 15:10 You’ve Been Framed 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film The Shawshank Redemption (15) 00:55 Celebrity Juice 01:40 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Mom ITV3

21:00 Police Interceptors Kev and Ian hunt for a man roaming the late-night streets with a machete. The driver of a feisty Fiesta makes off from the cops and takes the pursuit off-road 22:00 Autopsy: The Last Hours of Amy Winehouse Forensic physician Dr Jason PayneJames pieces together the last days of singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse 23:00 Most Shocking Moments in Pop 01:55 Super Casino 04:10 The Hotel Inspector Returns 05:00 Nick’s Quest 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 House Doctor truth are still desperate to do everything they can to ensure that Max is freed, even if it means breaking the law, but is everything all that it seems? With the pressure building, Max makes a rash decision that could affect everything.

It’s the day of Phil and Sharon’s wedding anniversary. Phil hopes to get their marriage back on track and tries a deal to get what he wants.

07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:50 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 Doctor in the House 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:50 Heartbeat 19:55 Murder, She Wrote 20:55 Wycliffe 22:00 Women Behind Bars 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:15 Trial and Retribution 03:00 Movies Now ITV4 07:00 Alias Smith and Jones 07:50 Minder 08:55 The Car Chasers 09:55 The Professionals 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:50 The Chase 12:50 Minder 13:50 The Car Chasers 14:55 Hogan’s Heroes 16:00 Gunsmoke 17:00 Magnum, PI 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Rugby World Cup Highlights 21:00 Motogp Highlights 22:00 Goodwood Cars of the Future 23:00 Benidorm 00:05 Bundesliga 01:05 Motorsport UK 02:05 Ax Men 02:50 Minder

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Tuesday 29th September

6 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 The Sheriffs are Coming 12:45 Thief Trackers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Home Away From Home 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Lauren continues to find herself torn 21:00 Holby City Cara is shell-shocked when her undercover cop husband arrives at the hospital. Adele is determined to put a brave face on her first day back at work and Jesse is reluctant to have a work stag do 22:00 New Tricks A bloodstained bust is uncovered during some reconstruction work in a cemetery, pointing UCOS to the murder of an alternative medicine practitioner bludgeoned to death seven years ago 23:00 News 23:35 Storyville 00:55 Who Do You Think You Are? 01:55 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:00 News

SOAPS

In an hour long Emmerdale, Suspicions are still running high in the village. The police want Sarah’s phone and Debbie wonders if Andy could be guilty. Later, Diane and Victoria witness the police apprehend a furious Andy. He is led through the police station to be questioned.

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 The Sheriffs are Coming 08:45 Thief Trackers 09:15 Rick Stein From Venice to Istanbul 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:30 My Life in Books 15:00 The Daily Politics 17:00 Best Bakes Ever 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 This Wild Life 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure The bikers sample cuisine in Sweden and cross the Arctic Circle into Lapland 22:00 The Naked Choir with Gareth Malone Gareth mentors four new groups as they begin their battle to stay in his contest 23:00 Later Live with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Tuesday at Conference 00:45 The Super League Show 01:30 Special Forces - Ultimate Hell Week 02:30 The World’s Busiest Railway 2015 03:30 The Ascent of Woman 04:30 This is BBC Two Meanwhile, Joanie is frustrated when her car breaks down. She tries to call for help, but climbs up a wall as she has no signal. Joanie ends up losing her footing and falls, injuring her leg. Kyle wakes up in the car but Joanie is unable to get to him. Zak drives along the road and sees Joanie’s car abandoned. When he hears her cries, Zak finds a pained Joanie and comes to her aid. Will this give Joanie a wake-up call? Elsewhere, Jai gives a coke-fuelled talk to the factory staff as Belle arrives late. Seeing her share a smile with Kirin, Lisa grows worried about

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News and Weather 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale Suspects continue to emerge and Joanie is given a wake-up call 21:00 Parking Wars Civil enforcement officers patrolling the small city of Hereford witness some rather unexpected behaviour. In Bristol, Darth Vader uses his force to confuse the council as they install new signs 22:00 Britain’s Biggest Adventures with Bear Grylls Bear Grylls takes on the Highlands in midwinter on a journey that takes him from the deepest point in Britain to its highest mountain. Along the way, he discovers ancient pearl mussels, helps save a forest and feeds reindeer 23:00 News and Weather 23:40 Through the Keyhole 00:40 Benidorm 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 Nightscreen their relationship. She later takes Belle aside to speak to her about Kirin, but is left worried when she insists their relationship is more than just a fling. With Lisa interfering, Belle is upset with Kirin’s reaction. Later, Belle and Kirin take their relationship to the next level. In EastEnders, Albert Square’s residents are shocked by the drama that has just unfolded in court. With tensions running high, the ramifications of Max’s actions run far and wide - leading to yet more drama for the Beales, Brannings and Butchers. Meanwhile, Stacey con-

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Deal or No Deal 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Posh Pawn 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 News

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - Finding a Family (PG) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News

20:00 Police Interceptors Kev and Ian hunt for a man 21:00 Obsessive roaming the late-night Compulsive Cleaners streets with a machete Tracey who rises at 5am each day to start her clean- 21:00 The Yorkshire Vet ing routine travels to Julian is called out to a Norfolk to help charity help a cow that is strugworker Kerry, who lives in a gling to deliver a huge calf. three bedroom house with Peggy the puppy has a family of foster dogs from chewed and swallowed a Romania huge chunk of extension cable Sarah sees Polly the 22:00 Educating Cardiff poorly chicken In Year 11, as exams approach, pressure 22:00 Body Donors mounts Documentary series follow23:00 The Changing Room 00:05 Bodyshockers 01:10 PokerstarsCom Shark Cage 02:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Gillette World Sport 02:55 Challenge Weymouth 03:50 FIM Superbike World Championship 04:20 Mobil 1 The Grid 04:45 Volkwagen Racing Cup 05:10 Location, Location, Location fronts Jane about what she claimed in court. Will Jane admit the truth? Linda throws herself straight back into work following her return, assuring Mick that she is fine. She remains strong when she later spots Dean outside and insists to Mick that home is the best place for her to be. Despite promising Lee that he’ll keep quiet about recent events, Mick tells Linda they need to talk about their son. In Holby City, Cara is stunned when her policeman husband arrives at the hospital undercover. Covering for him while she is on duty, Cara meets

ing two people who have donated their bodies to science, both before the death and after 23:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:10 Super Casino 04:10 Angry Britain 05:00 Nick’s Quest 05:25 Divine Designs 05:50 House Doctor another couple. She realises that the situation is more complex and he is more involved than she initially thought.

Meanwhile, Adele returns for her first day back at work since her attack, ready to face the music and go on her hen night. She is soon re-acquainted with an old friend from back in the day, who is desperately in need of a lung transplant.

07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 Psych 07:55 Emmerdale 08:30 Coronation Street 09:30 Dinner Date 10:30 Psych 11:20 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film - Derailed (15) 00:15 The Job Lot 00:40 Two and a Half Men 01:35 Fake Reaction 02:10 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 03:00 Animal Practice ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:05 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 Doctor in the House 17:50 On the Buses 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:05 Trial and Retribution 02:55 Judge Judy ITV4 07:00 Gunsmoke 07:50 The Professionals 08:50 Minder 09:55 The Car Chasers 11:00 Magnum, PI 13:00 Minder 14:05 Car Chasers 15:05 Gunsmoke 16:10 Motogp Highlights 17:15 Rugby World Cup: Tonga v Namibia 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 The Chase: Celebrity Special 22:00 Goodwood Classic Cars 23:00 Film - The Day of the Jackal (15) 01:55 Ax Men 02:55 Minder 03:45 Nightscreen

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Wednesday 30th September 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 The Sheriffs are Coming 12:45 Thief Trackers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Home Away From Home 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Pound Shop Wars Chris goes up against his business rival and former partner, Poundland founder Steve Smith, and takes Poundworld online with the launch of a brand new website 21:00 The Great British Bake Off In the semi-final, the remaining bakers must get to grips with the one of the most difficult ingredients - chocolate 22:00 Doctor Foster Gemma decides on a new start with Simon, but her medical career begins to fall apart

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 The Sheriffs are Coming 08:45 Thief Trackers 09:15 Pound Shop Wars 09:45 Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Rockford Files 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 A Taste of Britain 16:00 Best Bakes Ever 16:45 Africa 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:00 Food and Drink Tom is joined Monica Galetti for a discussion on simple cooking 20:30 Great British Menu A battle for the main course 21:00 Welcome to The Mosque Robb Leech explores Europe’s biggest Muslim community 22:00 Face of Britain by Simon Schama Simon explores the eternal power of portraiture

23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 Conference 00:45 23:00 News 23:35 A Countdown To Life: The Question of Sport 00:05 Extraordinary Making Of Room 101 00:45 Film - You 01:45 The Hairy Sliding Doors (15) 02:20 Bikers’ Northern Exposure Weather for the Week 02:45 Alex Polizzi: Chefs Ahead 02:25 News on Trial 03:45 BBC Two

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, Adam and Victoria interrupt Aaron as they are making a film for baby Johnny. Victoria remains concerned about Andy’s state of mind. Later, Aaron sees Adam and asks him when the scrap is being collected. Aaron then heads to the yard, but what is his plan? At the same time, Chrissie

can’t understand why Chas dropped her in it. She tells Rakesh that Eric could corroborate her movements on the night of the shooting, but has little hope that he will help. Could Eric create more problems for Chrissie? Later, Chrissie is aghast to be arrested. Meanwhile, Lisa asks Debbie to have a word with Belle about taking precautions with Kirin. Belle tells Debbie that she finds it embarrassing talking to her mum about sex and that she did take precautions. Belle refuses a school trip away in favour of staying around for Kirin, but is she too eager?

The Courier TV Pull-out - 7

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:10 Deal or No Deal 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Posh Pawn 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 20:00 Emmerdale Andy 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 and Aaron struggle over the News shooting 21:00 Location, Location, 20:30 Coronation Street Location Kirstie Allsopp Can Kevin convince Tim to and Phil Spencer catch up forgive and forget? with Mo and fiancé Jon, who could not agree on 21:00 All Star Mr and Mrs anything when they were Three celebrity couples searching for their first battle it out to see who house together in knows the most about their Birmingham other half in a bid to win up to 30,000 pounds 22:00 Grand Designs Kevin follows the progress 22:00 Midwinter of the of 37-year-old Angelo Spirit Priest and trainee Mastropietro, as he transexorcist Merrily Watkins is forms a damp, dark and asked by the police for her abandoned cave in help in solving a baffling Worcestershire into a stunand gruesome killing ning home 23:00 UEFA Champions League Highlights 00:00 News and Weather 00:45 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time 01:20 Goodwood Revival 02:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Don’t Blow the Inheritance 04:50 Nightscreen

23:00 Forced Marriage Cops 00:00 Sex Diaries: Webcam Couples 01:05 Blink 01:35 The Shooting Gallery 02:15 The Catch 03:10 Film - Big Nothing (15) 04:35 Cinema on Cinema: Pancham Unmixed

Elsewhere, Zak attempts to get Cain interested in Kyle. Also today, Edna warns David that Eric will lose all of his friends if he keeps treating people badly.

for Christmas. Later, Fiz and Tyrone go to the hospital for Hope’s biopsy results. They’re devastated to learn that she has a cancer called neuroblastoma and will require chemotherapy. Aidan agrees to Fiz being off work while Hope has treatment, but adds that regretfully he can’t pay her. How will Fiz react when Tyrone

In Coronation Street, Sophie is alarmed when a fired-up Sally vows to change Tim’s mind about the wedding. Soon afterwards, Sally begs a reluctant Kevin to appeal to Tim on her behalf. Over a pint, can Kevin convince Tim to forgive Sally? Meanwhile, Hope tells Fiz and Tyrone that she wants to visit Santa in Lapland

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud 2 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Film - Deadly Sibling Rivalry 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Nevada Triangle: The Missing Evidence This programme looks at the strange circumstances behind the high number of unexplained air crashes in one of the most beautiful places in America, the Sierra Nevada 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door Featuring a man who was attacked by his neighbour with a hammer 22:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away Britain’s best-loved High Court Enforcement Agents facing furious employees and heartbreaking evictions 23:00 Wentworth Prison 00:55 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 01:45 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:10 Super Casino 04:10 Secrets of Underground Britain 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor reveals that he’s booked a trip to Lapland? Elsewhere, the Platts struggle to focus. Also today, Zeedan struggles with the running of the gym. Due to the Rugby World Cup, there will be no Friday double bill this week.

07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 09:10 You’ve Been Framed 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Through the Keyhole 23:00 Release the Hounds 00:00 Tricked 01:05 Two and a Half Men ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 Doctor in the House 17:55 Rising Damp 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Long Lost Family 22:00 Britain’s Busiest Airport - Heathrow 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:05 The Vice 01:15 Blue Murder ITV4 07:00 Gunsmoke 07:50 The Professionals 08:50 Minder 09:55 Car Chasers 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 The Professionals 12:55 Minder 14:00 Car Chasers 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Gunsmoke 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 21:00 River Monsters 22:00 Film - The Quest (18) 00:00 Film - National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (PG) 01:40 Hell on Wheels 02:30 Minder 03:20 Hogan’s Heroes

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

Thursday 1st October

8 - The Courier TV Pull-out

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 The Sheriffs are Coming 12:45 Thief Trackers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Decimate 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Home Away From Home 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders Families reach breaking point as the fallout of recent events continues to send shockwaves around the Square 21:00 Eat Well for Less? Can Gregg and Chris help the Guests bring more variety to their plates - and in turn, knock a whopping 50 per cent off their shopping bill? 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? Anita Rani never met her maternal grandfather but she knows he had another wife and family before meeting her grandmother - and that he suffered terrible tragedy at the time of India’s Partition 23:00 News 23:35 Question Time 00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 News

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 The Sheriffs are Coming 08:45 Thief Trackers 09:15 Eat Well for Less? 10:15 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC News 13:00 The Daily Politics 14:00 The Rockford Files 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 A Taste of Britain 16:00 Best Bakes Ever 16:45 Africa 17:45 Coast 18:15 Flog It 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly: It Takes Two 20:00 Mary Berry’s Absolute Favourites Mary demonstrates her favourite summer salad 20:30 Great British Menu It’s the last chance for chefs to impress in the dessert course 21:00 World’s Weirdest Events Chris reveals how deadly poisonous frogs can saves lives 22:00 Cradle to Grave Spud begins a life away from the docks 22:30 Boy Meets Girl Geoff has promised to give Leo a try-out at his car showroom

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 News and Weather 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 17:00 Rugby World Cup: Wales v Fiji 19:45 News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale Lawrence takes matters into his own hands 21:00 The Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards 2015 Hosted by Carol Vorderman, celebrities Simon Cowell, Dame Shirley Bassey, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, David Walliams, Jeremy Piven and Little Mix are among those paying tribute to some truly inspiring people, aged from eight to 94. Winners range from an elderly retired couple who turned their home into a school for bullied children and a van driver who sandwiched another vehicle into the crash barriers of a busy motorway to save an unconscious driver

23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 00:15 The Naked Choir with Gareth Malone 01:15 Panorama 01:45 Horizon

23:00 News and Weather 23:40 UEFA Europa League Highlights 00:55 Rugby World Cup Highlights 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 Jeremy Kyle USA

copter crash and lunges at him, but Eric leaves triumphantly.

being locked up, but what will Lawrence do to protect his daughter?

David is angry with Eric, warning him that he could be in trouble for perverting the course of justice. He is gutted to realise how heartless Eric has become. Will David get through to his dad?

Meanwhile, Aaron struggles to hide his panic when he hears that the scrap isn’t going to be collected soon. Chas later warns Aaron that if he isn’t telling the truth, he won’t be able to live with himself and he seems troubled by this.

07:00 Milkshake 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 News 13:15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film - The Gourmet Detective (15) 18:00 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 News 20:00 Underground Britain In Wales, Rob visits Europe’s largest cave system beneath Brecon Beacon national park, the dungeons of Chirk castle and the hidden remains of Ruthin castle 21:00 Building the London Underground A fascinating look at the great engineering leaps that built the London Underground, the biggest metro system in the world 22:00 Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railway Journeys Chris continues his exploration of the world’s most extreme railway lines From Bangkok to Mandalay 23:00 Film - The Expendables (15) 00:50 Criminals: Caught on Camera 01:15 Super Casino 04:10 Now That’s Funny 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Divine Designs

07:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:20 Psych 08:05 Emmerdale 08:35 Coronation Street 09:10 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 09:35 Dinner Date 10:35 Psych 11:25 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 13:10 Emmerdale 13:40 Coronation Street 14:15 You’ve Been Framed 14:40 Dinner Date 15:40 Jeremy Kyle 19:00 Judge Rinder 20:00 You’ve Been Framed 21:00 Two and a Half Men 22:00 The Almost Impossible Gameshow 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Film - Billy Madison (PG) 01:40 Two and a Half Men 02:30 Viral Tap ITV3 07:00 In Loving Memory 07:25 Heartbeat 08:25 The Royal 09:25 Where the Heart is 10:35 Judge Judy 11:55 Inspector Morse 14:05 Heartbeat 15:10 The Royal 16:10 Where the Heart is 17:20 Doctor in the House 17:55 Rising Damp 18:20 In Loving Memory 18:55 Heartbeat 20:00 Murder, She Wrote 21:00 Lewis 23:00 Law and Order: UK 00:00 The Vice 01:05 Inspector Morse ITV4

SOAPS

In Emmerdale, at the police station, Rakesh tells Chrissie that she doesn’t need to worry as long as she has nothing to hide, but soon further evidence places her near the scene of the crime. As Chrissie falters under questioning, things aren’t looking good for her. Lawrence knows Eric has done it out of spite because of the heli-

As the tense day continues, Lawrence visits Eric and threatens to dig up his past if he doesn’t retract his statement. Bernice is worried about Lawrence, who takes her into his confidence when he tells her what happened to him in prison. He couldn’t bear the thought of Chrissie

Elsewhere, Zak is determined to get Cain to recognise Kyle in his life. Later when there is a near-accident involving Kyle and a car, Cain leaps to Kyle’s defence. Moira takes it as a good sign and she makes it clear she

wants to have a relationship with Kyle. Cain is annoyed by the manipulation, but will he ever recognise Kyle as his own? Also today, Megan is keen to formally dissolve the company and leave the village as soon as possible. However, an unannounced visit rattles her as she remains determined to keep her pregnancy a secret from Jai. In Eastenders, as the fallout from Max’s eventful trial continues, families reach breaking point on the Square. Meanwhile, Carol admits

to Sonia that she is fed up with the routine of her life. Their conversation is interrupted when Lauren arrives and asks Carol to talk to Abi about moving out of the Mitchells. Abi overhears the conversation, but Lauren tries to explain her reasoning. Has Abi been persuaded?

Later, Carol realises that she has a way out of Walford, but can she make it happen?

07:00 Gunsmoke 07:50 The Professionals 08:50 Minder 09:55 Car Chasers 10:55 Magnum, PI 11:55 The Professionals 12:55 Minder 14:00 Car Chasers 15:00 Pawn Stars 15:55 Gunsmoke 17:00 Magnum, PI 18:00 Minder 19:00 The Professionals 20:00 Pawn Stars 20:30 Rugby World Cup: France v Canada 23:15 Film - Invictus (12) 01:55 Goodwood Classic Cars 02:55 Minder

07:00 Peter Hurst, 11:00 Dennis Christian, 13:00 Alex Trelinski, 16:00 Andy James, 18:00 Suzy G

The Courier TV Pull-out - 9

TRELI ON THE TELLY WITH ALEX TRELINSKI You know that autumn is upon us when we get Downton Abbey and Doctor Who back on our screens, and it’s great to have them back, albeit Downton for the last series. There was something so comforting to watch Downton Abbey in absolutely top form last Sunday night on ITV with plenty of intriguing plot lines to get your teeth into! There was Lady Mary being blackmailed; a delightful interplay as Mrs.Padmore is brought in to find out exactly what Carson wants (in all aspects) from his impending marriage to Mrs.Hughes; and Denker the maid getting her come-uppance from the Dowager Countess over speaking when she shouldn’t have! I would go as far to say that this was

Old Friends Return

one of the best episodes ever and a hopeful sign that writer and creator Julian Fellowes wants to go out on a real high. Doctor Who’s Saturday return on BBC1 was a fine treat in going back to the roots of how the Daleks were created and the apparent role that the Time Lord had in it! We saw a very young Davros and then the old (and familiar nasty version) wanting revenge for what the Doctor had done (or not done) in the past in not helping him. Once again Peter Capaldi was superb in the lead role and I await the resolution of the cliffhanger tomorrow night with interest. Two small gripes though. The audio quality at times was abysmal and I couldn’t hear old Davros properly with his barbed com-

ments. Secondly, much as I loved it, it wasn’t that “welcoming” a start to a new series for people who perhaps would not be familiar with the history of Doctor Who or who would be giving it a try for the

first time or making a return after a few years. That aside, excellent production values and some great one-liners from Missy/The Master, made it very enjoyable for a Who fan like me, though it will

be sad to see Jenna Coleman depart during this series. Just desserts on two fronts this week! Firstly the death of nasty Callum on Wednesday night’s live Corrie, and rightly it was

Kylie that got her revenge. Secondly, in last Sunday’s Emmy awards, a long overdue best actor award for Jon Hamm and the fantastic role of Don Draper in Mad Men. I loved the way he crawled onto the stage after so many years of trying. I’m thoroughly enjoying Channel Four’s Saturday night nostalgia-fest, It Was Alright……. The series looks at social and political attitudes through some rarely seen TV clips which gets us gawping at what we thought was acceptable to be screened at the time. Last week’s show focused on the sixties, and my eyes popped out at some of the sexist and racist stereotypes that prevailed. It’s the turn of the nineties tomorrow, so we are not going to be that shocked, surely?

of Shakespeare’s classic, Midsummer Night’s Dream, forms a lead part of the Shakespeare season on the BBC in 2016. Maxine Peake is set to star as Titania, Matt Lucas as Bottom, John Hannah as Theseus, Eleanor Matsuura as Hippolyta and Hiran Abeysekera as Puck. Award-winning stage star Elaine Paige returns to television as Mistress Quince, Richard Wilson will star as Starveling, Bernard Cribbins as Snout, Javone Prince as Snug and Fisayo Akinade as Flute. In factual shows, Paul O’Grady: The Sally Army & Me, coincides with The Salvation Army’s 150th anniversary, it will explore and uncover Paul’s lifelong passion for the much-loved organisation. As a child, Paul always wanted to be in ‘The Sally Army’. This heartwarming series will see him achieve that ambition by

becoming an honorary member and experiencing what it is like to enlist as a volunteer. And that means rolling-up his sleeves and getting stuck in. Across the six episodes, Paul will take up a regular place behind the counter at The Salvation Army’s residential centres, assist in their work with older people, meet staff in the ‘Family Tracing Service’ and help as they continue to change families’ lives across Britain. Every day around the UK, an army of unpaid volunteers put their own lives on the line to try and save the lives of complete strangers. Saving Lives At Sea tells the story of these ordinary men and women who are doing something extraordinary giving up their free time to staff more than 200 RNLI lifeboat stations right across the country and provide a vital rescue service on Britain’s waters.

Autumn and Winter on BBC One This autumn, BBC One will bring the nation together with a distinctive mix of highquality programmes that will empower, surprise and inspire audiences. 2016 marks 60 years since Hancock's Half Hour launched the sitcom on BBC television. BBC One will mark our enduring affection for all the great comedy characters we have met over the 60 years by enlisting the biggest names in British comedy writing and performing to revisit loved classics alongside launching new shows in a landmark comedy season. In summer 2016, Brendan O'Carroll’s one-off live edition of Mrs Brown's Boys will launch the landmark sitcom season. Anything can happen when the Irish Matriarch is live and unleashed. Brendan O’Carroll says: “This is very exciting. When I heard the BBC were letting us go fully live I thought: "They've lost their minds!" I'm seriously delighted about this. As Mrs Brown's Boys started in the theatre it gives us a chance to show the TV audience LIVE what we really do. Put the kids to bed early!” A unique documentary celebrating Peter Kay’s illustrious career in comedy

spanning two decades as one of Britain’s best-loved comedians. From his childhood growing up in Bolton, to the places and people who have influenced him, we reveal how Peter began his journey into the world of comedy and his eventual rise to become a household name and national treasure. Featuring colleagues and peers sharing their insights into just what makes Peter tick, in this long overdue look at a very exceptional British comic talent. David Farr's visceral multi-part series, Troy - Fall Of A City, retells the fall of Troy and the collapse of a family. The story of the war between Greece and Troy is an epic tale of love, revenge, intrigue and bloodshed. Told from the perspective of the Trojan family at the heart of the siege, Farr’s psychologically rich and sweeping narrative goes back to the saga’s origins: to the judgment of Paris, his passionate elopement with Helen, and the ill-starred prophecy surrounding his birth. To Sir With Love is set in the bomb-damaged East End of London in the aftermath of World War II, Guyanese engineer Ricky Braithwaite is de-mobbed

from the RAF to find a cold welcome in a Britain which has turned its back on the black men and women who had fought alongside them in the war. Taking a job as a teacher at an unconventional 'free' school in the East End, Ricky faces a class of unruly white working class kids who test him to his limits. But in the space of one year, their lives are transformed under his guidance, and his own future is turned upside down when he falls in love with a white fellowteacher. Based on Robert Galbraith's best-selling novels The Cuckoo's Calling and The Silkworm, and the highly anticipated Career Of Evil, due for publication this autumn, The Cormoran Strike Mysteries will bring one of the most memorable detective duos of modern times to BBC One. Steeped in the atmosphere of contemporary London, Cormoran Strike's city is far from the bright lights and frenetic bustle, immersed instead in its darker, murkier side. War veteran turned private detective, Strike investigates shocking crimes together with his female assistant Robin, whose forensic mind and fierce

determination he cannot ignore. The murders take them from the hushed streets of Mayfair to the literary haunts of Fitzrovia, exposing the seedy reality lurking beneath seemingly innocent societies. With each crime, they discover a little more about each other and both learn that appearances can be deceptive. The Last Post takes us to Aden, 1965, The fag-end of empire, based on Peter Moffat's childhood memories, his father's life as an officer in the Royal Military Police and his mother's struggle between being what the army required her to be and what she felt like being, this is the story of a British army unit fighting a terrorist insurgency in the Middle East and the women and children who were there with them. In Rush Of Blood, three couples return from their holiday together in Florida and realise that one of them must have been responsible for a murder. Executive producers are Jolyon Symonds, Mark Billingham, Matt Charman and Matthew Read for the BBC. For one night only, BBC One becomes The Globe, with Russell T Davies’ bold and accessible adaptation

10 - The Courier TV Pull-out

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 24 represents D and 7 represents J, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1/6 Paid killer (3,3) 3 Yellow alloy (5) 6 See 1 8 Sincere (7) 9 Likes very much (5) 10 Collect (5) 11 Admit (7) 12 Intensify (6) 14 Be owned by (6) 17 Stark (7) 19 Kid (5) 21 Giraffe-like animal (5) 22 Guiding (7) 23 Owed (3) 24 Robes (5) 25 Consume (3)

1 Carrion-feeding carnivore (5) 2 Patio (7) 3 Sanctify (5) 4 Raid (6) 5 Quietness (7) 6 Motion picture (5) 7 Sum of money saved for the future (4,3) 12 Precious stone (7) 13 Nightfall (7) 15 Opening (7) 16 Bawl (6) 18 Divide (5) 19 Category (5) 20 Finger (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Site, 3 Sensible, 9 Release, 10 Bells, 11 Specs, 12 Permit, 14 Edible, 16 Uganda, 19 Closed, 21 Scare, 24 Queue, 25 Edifice, 26 Assorted, 27 Mess. Down: 1 Stressed, 2 Tilde, 4 Exempt, 5 Sober, 6 Bullion, 7 Easy, 8 Damsel, 13 Careless, 15 Illness, 17 Gossip, 18 Adhere, 20 Swear, 22 Arise, 23 Aqua.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Possibly anger a former American president (6) 4 Deputy at clock centre sounds hesitant (5) 8 Stop a container loading sulphur (5) 9 Comments about Antony and Twain (7) 10 Colour seen in Mogadishu evening sky (3) 11 Plant from good seed (5) 12 Powder easing sores in hospital cases (4) 13 Symbol of decreasing significance (5) 15 Something of great value found in Cherub Yacht Club (4) 17 Musical locks (4) 18 A new array of a Victorian flower (5) 20 Furthermore, alas, lost a ring (4) 21 Three dimensional little animal I see (5) 24 American intelligence alternately in China (3) 25 Cooked beef, sir? No it’s a toy (7) 26 End reveals words of advice, as expected (5)

27 Cleaned out horrible stink (5) 28 True information about key parts of an insect’s eye (6) Down 1 About as certain to restore confidence (8) 2 Grant given to a section of a hospital (5) 3 In German, the melody for a song (6) 4 Determines I’m in another list (6) 5 Fabulous bird returns to Fitzgerald with a parrot (7) 6 Pastimes held in the network (4) 7 Environmentally sensitive forerunner to supermarkets switches to fruit and veg (11) 14 Barmy fireworks (8) 16 Composer is in the middle of ‘Doorbell in Italy’ (7) 18 Still taking in Open University bachelor? For sure! (3,3) 19 Shrub Bill spies around area (6) 22 A couple get ready to take the strain (5) 23 Small amphibians in strange fest (4)

STANDARD CLUES 28 Diamond surfaces (6) Across Down 1 40th president of the USA 1 Comfort (8) (6) 2 Prize (5) 4 Doctor’s stand-in (5) 3 Rousing song (6) 8 Nautical term for stop (5) 4 Boundaries (6) 9 Comments (7) 5 White Australian cockatoo 10 Quality of a colour (3) (7) 11 Rush-like plant (5) 6 Material made of a network 12 Bathroom powder (4) of wire (4) 13 Less (5) 7 Retailer of fresh fruits and 15 Red gemstone (4) vegetables (11) 17 Head covering (4) 14 Thin, crisp, unsweetened 18 Australian river (5) biscuits (8) 20 As well (4) 16 Italian composer of operas 21 Three-dimensional solid (5) (1801-1835) (7) 24 US government agency (3) 18 That’s for sure (3,3) 25 Plastic disc for throwing (7) 19 Spiny shrub (6) 26 Come to an end (5) 22 Support beam (5) 27 Penniless (5) 23 Young newts (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Shadow, 4 Helped, 9 Academe, 10 Usurp, 11 Ebony, 12 Topside, 13 Hard pressed, 18 Leeches, 20 Urals, 22 Harry, 23 Migrate, 24 Add-ons, 25 Repeal. Down: 1 Seamed, 2 Alamo, 3 One-eyed, 5 Equip, 6 Pauline, 7 Duplex, 8 Venturesome, 14 Averred, 15 Snuggle, 16 Althea, 17 As well, 19 Haydn, 21 Amaze.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ail Ale Arm Ate Cep Dye Ere His Ire Rip Roe Sad Sap Sea Set Tow

4 letter words Able Adze Alit Area Arts Asks Asps Blue Cosh Deed Else Ewer Isle Laid Lame Long Mete

Oath Obey Oboe Peas Peat Pose Posy Rail Rasp Rest Rise Rune Sago Seer Sips Slut Soap Soar Some

Stoa This 5 letter words Boots Chips Costs Easel Emery Irony Koala Lists Manes Oiled Oozes Pants Penne Pilau Rodeo

Saint Salad Sated Stets Tapir Taste Topes 6 letter words Assail Hairdo Nestle Settee 8 letter words Annotate Bathroom Hypnosis Mirrored

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Spoons (8) 5 For (going to) (4) 9 Más temprano (7) 10 Garras (de animal) (5) 11 Cicatrices (5) 12 Raro (extraño) (7) 13 Ranura (hendedura) (6) 15 Pétalos (6) 18 Rosary (7) 20 Mud (5) 22 Swedish (f) (5) 23 Puddles (7) 24 Último (final) (4) 25 Morena (8)

Down 1 Ajedrez (5) 2 Nearby (7) 3 Goodbye (5) 4 A través de (6) 6 Otra vez (5) 7 Respuestas (a preguntas, en examen, test) (7) 8 Escaso (6) 13 Sunflower (7) 14 Truth (6) 16 Albaricoque (7) 17 To snore (6) 19 Escalones (5) 20 Cerebro (5) 21 Western (side, part) (5)

The Courier TV Pull-out - 11 Across 1 Seal consisting of a ring for packing pistons or sealing a pipe joint (6) 4 Surname of Germanborn English astronomer (1738-1822) who discovered infrared light and who catalogued the stars and discovered the planet Uranus (8) 10 Safety restraints in automobiles that inflate on collision and prevent the drivers or passengers from being thrown forward (3,4) 11 Chemical element of atomic number 35, a dark red fuming toxic liquid with a choking, irritating smell (7) 12 First name of Australian champion swimmer Fraser, British comedian French and British MP for Bristol South Primarolo (4) 13 Toy building large enough for children to play in named after a character in J M Barrie’s play Peter Pan (5,5) 15 Waterproof jacket, typically with a hood, of a kind originally used in polar regions (6) 16 American romantic comedy film released in 2001 starring Reese

Witherspoon as a sorority girl who struggles to win back her ex-boyfriend by earning a law degree: ------Blonde (7) 20 American Vietnam War film written and directed by Oliver Stone starring Tom Berenger (Sergeant Barnes), Willem Dafoe (Sergeant Elias) and Charlie Sheen (Chris Taylor) that won the Academy Award for Best Picture of 1986 (7) 21 Low, soft felt hat with a curled brim and the crown creased lengthways (6) 23 Long-winged seabird related to the petrels, often flying low over the surface of the water far from land (10) 25 Resident lexicographer and adjudicator on Channel 4's long-running game show Countdown: Susie ---- (4) 27 Mexican dish consisting of a tortilla rolled round a savoury filling, typically of minced beef or beans (7) 28 English all-girl group whose initial line-up consisted of sisters Easther and Vernie Bennett, Kéllé Bryan and Louise Nurding (7) 29 Remaining after the greater part or quantity has

SUDOKU (Very easy)

gone (8) 30 Syrupy blackcurrant liqueur produced mainly in Burgundy (6) Down 1 British national daily

newspaper founded in Manchester in 1821: The ------- (8) 2 Unofficial ballot conducted as a test of opinion (5,4) 3 According to the Bible,

the elder of the twin sons of Isaac and Rebecca, who sold his birthright to his brother Jacob and was tricked out of his father's blessing by his brother (4) 5 Attached (a journalist) to a military unit during a conflict (8) 6 Person supposed to be able to foresee the future (10) 7 Japanese poem of 17 syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world (5) 8 Feudal lord entitled to allegiance and service (5) 9 Official in a law court whose duties include swearing in jurors and witnesses and keeping order (5) 14 British television quiz show where the contestants face two rounds of questions, one on a specialised subject of the contestant's choice, the other a general knowledge round (10) 17 British radio programme originally broadcast on Saturday mornings, and then transmitted early Saturday evenings from 1998 by BBC Radio 4. It was

hosted by Ned Sherrin until 2006, and has been hosted by Clive Anderson and Peter Curran since 2007 (5,4) 18 Carbonated soft drink first produced in the USA by John Pemberton in 1886 (44) 19 First nuclear-powered submarine, launched in 1954 (8) 22 Song originally recorded by Little Willie John in 1956 that has been covered by many artists including Peggy Lee, Elvis Presley, McCoys, Madonna and Beyoncé (5) 23 Not affected by a chemical substance, especially alcohol (5) 24 Basic monetary units of 18 of the 28 member states of the European Union (5) 26 American songwriter and singer known for her eclectic folk-inspired music, whose UK hit singles include Marlene On The Wall and Tom’s Diner: Suzanne ---(4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

TIPOS DE CASA - TYPES OF HOUSES Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

el almacén

la casa de campo

el ático

la casa de playa

el edificio

la casa flotante

el piso

la casa rodante

el rascacielos

la casucha

la cabaña

la granja

la casa

la mansión

la casa adosada

tienda de campaña

music QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. C) Silver 2. Level 42 3. A Spaniard In The Works 4. Apple Records 5. Barry White 6. Otis Redding / My Girl 7. 1969 (Summer Of 69) 8. Ashton, Gardner And Dyke 9. Celine Dion / My Heart Will Go On 10. The Ramones

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Soporific, 6 Scrap, 9 Airport, 10 Marquee, 11 Teller, 12 Bolivars, 14 Onyx, 15 Xenophobia, 18 Big Brother, 20 Smut, 23 Marmoset, 24 Handel, 26 Glacier, 27 Praline, 28 Alert, 29 Mercenary. Down: 1 Smart bomb, 2 Parsley, 3 Rhodes, 4 Fats, 5 Commodores, 6 Straight, 7 Rhubarb, 8 Peers, 13 Kettledrum, 16 Artillery, 17 Arsonist, 19 Garbage, 21 Madeira, 22 Facade, 23 Magma, 25 Spur.

Empareja estas palabras - Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.el almacén, 2.el ático,

13.la casucha, 14.la granja,

h.the building, i.the farm,

3.el edificio, 4.el piso,

15.la mansión,

j.the tent, k.the terraced house,

5.el rascacielos, 6.la cabaña,

16.tienda de campaña.

l.the mobile home, m.the shack,

7.la casa, 8.la casa adosada,

a.the beach house,

n.the penthouse, o.the house,

9.la casa de campo,

b.the mansión, c.the cabin,

p.the boathouse.

10.la casa de playa,

d.the warehouse,

11.la casa flotante,

e.the country house,

12.la casa rodante,

f.the sky-scraper, g.the flat,

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1d, 2n, 3h, 4g, 5f, 6c, 7o, 8k, 9e, 10a, 11p, 12l, 13m, 14i, 15b, 16j.

1. What Type Of Bullets Did Bob Seger Perform With A) Bronze, B) Blank, C) Silver? 2. Who Had A Hit In 1983 With 'The Chinese Way'? 3. What Was The Title Of John Lennons 2nd Book? 4. Mary Hopkin's 'Those Were The Days' & The Beatles 'Hey Jude' Were Early Hits For Which Label? 5. Who Reached No.1 With The Song 'You're The First The Last My Everything'? 6. Whose Debut Single Was A Cover Of A Smokey Robinson Tune And Former No.1 For The Temptations? 7. Which Year Did Bryan Adams Refer To In 1985? 8. Which 3 Surnames Name The Group Responsible For The Resurrection Shuffle? 9. When Radio 2 compiled A List Of Songs Of The 20th Century, Which 1998 Movie Theme Was The Highest Placed Song Of The 199 10. Which American Band Comprised Jeffrey Hyman , John Cummings, Douglas Colvin, & Tommy Erdelyi?

Fill It In

Friday 25th September 2015 Aries March 21-April 20 This week´s link between romantic Venus and Uranus, the planet of creative growth and change, which is travelling through Aries, suggests that a new friendship has the stars behind it. You could also come up with a solution to a problem or misunderstanding if you are flexible about the future. Let nothing limit your horizons.

Taurus April 21-May 21 If you take a more spontaneous, easygoing approach, you can solve problems that have undermined your confidence in recent weeks. What matters now is you, so relax, unwind and put ambitious plans on hold until the planetary pattern changes. The decisions you make will be the right ones if you put your real needs and feelings first.

Gemini May 22-June 21 An unexpected meeting or a conversation that you had not planned could make you see somebody in a very different light, so be open to what others have to offer in the week ahead. You can also reach a much more easygoing understanding with a friend or colleague if you are prepared to listen to their point of view and give a little ground.

Cancer June 22-July 23 An easier, more rewarding phase in your close relationships with others starts this week, when Pluto, the planet that rules hidden or unspoken feelings, starts to travel forwards through the skies. A certain situation is not cast in stone, so streamline your routine to give yourself more freedom to manoeuvre. Listen to a friend’s advice later in the week.

Leo July 24-August 23 With persuasive Venus on your side this week, you could win support from someone unexpected for a current project or endeavour. It could revolutionise your chances of success in months to come, so make the opening move midweek. If you are diplomatic, you can also sidestep a potential problem with a loved one.

Virgo August 24-September 23 Do not take on more than you can handle or try to force the pace. With your ruler, Mercury, travelling backwards through your chart’s financial sector, you could be tempted to take risks or make the wrong decisions, so relax and take each situation as it comes. You should also give yourself more credit for what you have achieved to date.

Libra September 24-October 23 With the Sun in Libra in the weeks to come, you hold a winning hand where a tricky situation is concerned. Do not take decisive action yet. A twist of fate is due to strengthen your position, so play for time. A conversation later in the week could also give you insight into how to overcome somebody’s doubts.

Scorpio October 24-November 22 Take full advantage of an unexpected chance to push through career changes that you had postponed this week. If you banish recent doubts and focus on how much you have to offer, you can build firm foundations for the future, so do not hesitate to ask for support from those who count. Reaching your new goal could be easier than you think.

Sagittarius November 23-December 21 The wealth planet, Pluto, stops stirring up confusion in your chart’s financial zone this week, helping you overcome a recent setback and move forward. You are also at your most creative, so do not let existing ties or work commitments slow you down. It seems that a new project has the stars behind it, so be proactive.

Capricorn December 22 - January 20 If you stand back and take stock of what you have achieved in recent months, and draw up new plans for the future, you can usher in a more successful and fulfilling era. But do not overplay your hand or share your hopes and dreams with others yet. If you let others do the talking, you could also find out something that you badly need to know.

Aquarius January 21 - February 19 This week’s powerful link between your ruler, Uranus, and Venus, planet of romance, gives you an unexpected new advantage in a situation that preoccupies you. In fact, it seems a certain battle is as good as won, so do not settle for short-term solutions. Life-enhancing changes are on the horizon, so play to win this time around.

Pisces February 20 - March 20 With the planet of communication, Mercury, travelling backwards through the area of your skies that rules your most important bonds, you could create more problems than you solve this week by saying too much, too soon. The tide turns in your favour after next weekend, so bide your time a short while longer. Your patience could pay dividends.

Property +

Friday 25th September 2015

Property

Friday 25th September 2015

Top Tips for Selling Your Home sun. If you´re having a viewing, you could set up a brief snack on the patio of balcony, just a light selection of pastries and drinks could be enough for the prospective buyer to stop, sit and absorb the moment, imagining life in their new found dream home. Be Realistic about the Price

you visit a show house, the property you are viewing is immaculate. That is because you would never expect to see a show house that actually looked lived in, but by the same virtue, if you want to showcase your home to potential buyers, you must do the same. Nobody wants to see your dirty laundry piled high on the bedroom floor, or the washing up still sat in the sink, so a little bit of effort can make all the difference in convincing a potential buyer that yours is the home they want. De-personalize and De-Clutter With so many properties available on the market and new buildings starting to appear at a rate not seen for years, selling your home might not be as easy as you might think, but worry not, because the experts at Best Price Properties have some top tips to help you.

with more than 6 pictures are twice as likely to be viewed by buyers as listings that had fewer than 6. Choose your Neighbours

Choose your Seller Wisely

It is not always enough to place your own For Sale board on the front of your home. Sure you will get one or two curious passers-by wanting to look around, but the world of buyers is much bigger than just your street and so it is important to tell as many people about your sale as possible. It is also important to be discreet, allowing an agent to handle your sale takes away the stress and worry of not knowing who you are letting in! When it comes to choosing an agent, it is also important that they can market your property to the widest market available. Do they advertise in local press, newspapers and radio is the first question you might want to ask, and see those adverts yourself. It´s all very well an agent advertising themselves, but are they advertising your property? Ask about their on-line presence too. Did you know that the most recent statistics reveal that 92% of homebuyers start their house hunt online, and they will never even get in the car to come see your home if the online listings aren’t compelling, and in property, compelling means good pictures! A study by Trulia.com shows that listings

This might seem like a strange idea, but why not let your neighbours choose their neighbours? If you speak to your current neighbours, or are a member of a neighbourhood association, you could tell them that your property is for sale, and ask if they know anybody looking to buy. This goes against the idea of marketing your property to a wider audience, but it does bring out the more homely and community based ideas that make for a stronger future. After all, everybody worries about who might be moving in next door. You can even organise an “open house”, where you publicise a session, perhaps in the local newspapers, where you invite prospective buyers to visit your home, enjoy some refreshments, and browse around at their leisure. You then extend the invitation to your neighbours too, so that they can introduce themselves to the buyers and give you feedback as to who they think would be the most suited to their community. Keep it Clean This is one of the most talked about problems in the property sales market. When you flick through the pages of a glossy brochure for a new-build property, or even if

Virtually move out of your property at the point you decide to sell. Do this by removing everything in your home that makes it “yours”. Pack away and store your family photos, your ornaments, souvenirs, everything that is personal to you. The reason being, quite simply, is in that last statement. They are personal to YOU, and not to a prospective buyer. They want to imagine themselves in your property, living their own dream, distracting them with pictures of your day at the beach or your grandchildren might seem like you are being friendly, but remember to get in the mind-set that this is a business transaction you are embarking on, and one that requires considerable investment on the buyer´s part. Staging

Just like keeping the inside clean, the exterior is equally as important. You can stage the outside with a lick of paint, pruned plants and tidy garden furniture. Even the cheap garden seats look better new than expensive ones allowed to grow old in the

We all know that the property market has been fluctuating in the last decade or so, and many investors have lost money, but we have to think about the price today. Be realistic. The price you paid for the property is not necessarily what it is worth today. Price it too high, and you are out of the market straight away. Consider the improvements you may have made, but also consider their value. Many homes have extensions, conservatories, underbuilds, glass curtains and the like, but how many of these are fully legal and registered through the town hall? It is not to say that they devalue the property as such, but the cost to install these features beyond the original specifications is not always an indicator of an increase in value, and seldom would your property increase at the same rate as the cost of this work. In addition to that, we also have to think about the commission that some estate agents put on top of your asking price. If your neighbour is selling a similar property which is advertised at one amount, it is not necessarily a true reflection of the price you can ask, especially if you also then have to add commission on top of the commission being added by the agent listing your property. Listen to Your Agent If you have gone to the trouble of selecting an agent to handle your sale, the least you can do now is let them get on with it. The agent will have years of training, knowledge and expertise under their belt, they will know the market and they will know how you can make the best of the sale. If they offer you advice, it is as much in their best interest as yours, and so the best thing to do all round is to take that advice. Believe it or not, no estate agent wants to just list your property, they want to sell it. That is what makes good business for them, and therefore good business for you. If you follow these simple tips, it won´t be long before your property is sold and you are able to move up, on or to wherever you imagine the next chapter of your life to be opening. If you want to know more, you can contact Best Price Properties on 966 44 33 8, or visit the website, bestpriceproperties.com.

Friday 25th September 2015

Property +

Friday 25th September 2015

top

Friday 25th September 2015

How to make the perfect egg mayonnaise sandwich The beauty of the classic sandwich-filler ‘lies in its simplicity’

Desserts

Chocolate Muffins Pumpkin, canned, without salt, 425.2 grams , Devil's Food Mix (Duncan Hines), 1 serving, Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (GV), 20 tbsp. Directions Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Mix all the ingredients well. The batter will be thick. distribute the mixture into muffin tins lined with paper. Cook for 15-20 minutes. Mixture should make 18-24 muffins. The calorie calculations I used for this recipes is based on 18 muffins. Servings = 1 muffin.

Yummy Peaches 2-15 oz cans peaches in light syrup, 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup oats, 1/4 cup light margarine, 2 tsp cinnamon. Directions Drain peaches and put in baking dish. Sprinkle oats, brown sugar and cinnamon on top of peaches. Spoon margarine on top of mixture. Bake at 350*F for 20 minutes. Serving size is 1/2 cup.

If it’s true you only regret the things you don’t do (thanks, Sporty Spice), I’m looking forward to a fair few spectral egg mayonnaise sandwiches flitting accusingly above my deathbed. Thanks to a combination of infantile egg-related squeamishness and a (continuing and, I believe, righteous) dislike of vinegary long-life mayonnaise, I didn’t taste one until the age of 25. (I know. So many wasted opportunities.) I’ve made up for it since: with the true zeal of a convert, I now believe egg mayonnaise to be one of the great sandwich fillings of all time. Creamily comforting, but substantial enough to satisfy, soft and rich without being cloying, with an oldfashioned subtlety of flavour, it’s a simple, but nevertheless profound pleasure. Give me egg mayonnaise

over avocado and chipotle chickpea wrap, or a southern-fried chicken sub any day of the week – as Gary Rhodes observes: “[it’s] one of the most popular features of afternoon tea … maybe because it’s one of those fillings we rarely make at home”. Which is a shame, because, although I’ve never come across a – passingly fresh – egg mayonnaise sandwich I didn’t like, I have to say, they’re even better when they’re homemade. The eggs Most recipes call for hardboiled eggs, or, in the case of J Kenji-López-Alt, hardsteamed, a method he believes cooks them more evenly, and with less risk of cracking, than boiling. I can’t tell the difference if I’m honest, but it does make life a bit easier if you’re knocking up a job lot. Cooling them down

quickly in cold water, as just about everyone suggests, is a must, however – not only does it stop the eggs overcooking, it also makes them easier to peel. The mayonnaise If you lack either mayonnaise or the ingredients to make it, and you’re set on an egg sandwich, then soft boil the eggs and lightly butter your bread, as Rhodes suggests, and you’ll just about get away with it. But I don’t recommend this course of action – the assertively eggy flavour makes it feel more like a breakfast to go. For me, thanks to my aforementioned antipathy to the bought stuff, homemade mayonnaise is the only way to go, but I realise not everyone is thus afflicted, so I leave the choice up to you, though I’d suggest avoiding anything made with an assertive olive or rapeseed oil; the flavour should be fairly neutral to allow the boiled eggs to shine. Chow.com (now chowhound.com) rejects mayonnaise entirely, instead mashing the egg yolks with red wine vinegar and olive oil to make a paste. This, though nice enough, again lacks the requisite creaminess for an egg mayonnaise sandwich.

Food & Drink How to make Cocktails How much ice should you use? 1. Start with the classics. In Haruki novel Murakami’s Norwegian Wood, the character of Nagasawa only reads books that are more than 40 years old; if it’s still in print after all that time, it’s probably worth reading. A similar principle applies to cocktails. There are modem classics, true, but they are mostly indebted to the classic classics, which are classics for good reason. They are built on simple principles that, once learned, will lend structure to your own experiments. 2. Alcohol is the most important ingredient. It should go without saying, but so many people persist in the belief that a cocktail should be a liquid pudding or a naughty milkshake that it is worth repeating. A proper cocktail should not disguise its booziness; it should celebrate it. As a rule of thumb, a cocktail is 50ml of the “base” spirit (that’s a double shot), plus a couple of other bits and bobs. Use a generous hand with spirits, and a stingy hand with bits and bobs. It’s easy to make a cocktail more sweet or

sour or dilute; it’s harder to make it unsweet or unsour and undilute. A lot of bartenders pour the alcohol into the shaker last for this reason – if you mess up with the cheaper ingredients, you haven’t wasted the good stuff. 3. Ice is the second most important ingredient. Do not even think about throwing a cocktail party unless the contents of your freezer could sink the Titanic. Do not ever ask, as English publicans often do: “Ice with your G&T?” There is a certain kind of person who still sees ice either as overly fussy or a way of cheating them out of drink. But when ice is freely available in your own home and you have already purchased the liquor, there is no excuse. Ice serves a dual purpose in cocktails, chilling the drink as well as providing a little (but not too much) dilution. Use insufficient ice and it will melt much more quickly, resulting in insufficient chilling and too much dilution. The ice should always poke above the alcohol line in the shaker and in the glass.

Friday 25th September 2015

Health

Friday 25th September 2015

Will more sleep increase my Sex drive?

Lack of sleep is bad for your health – and studies show it can also affect women’s desire for sex

Being tired is the most common reason women give for not having sex with their partner. A survey three years ago showed that it had overtaken headaches

as the most popular “excuse”. But an American study last year of more than 1,000 employees from three companies found that 76% of workers felt tired “many

days of the week”, so being too tired for sex may well be the truth, rather than a white lie. We already know that lack of sleep contributes to obe-

sity, heart disease and diabetes as well as reducing life expectancy. So, why wouldn’t it ruin sex, too? There are, however, few studies of the impact of sleep on how women respond to sex. A pilot study of 171 young women published in this month’s Journal of Sexual Medicine found that sleep affected how much they wanted sex and how easily they became aroused, but that this was unrelated to how tired they actually felt. An extra hour of sleep led to a 14% increase in the odds of sex the next day. More sleep also increased the ease with which women felt “genital arousal”, which was measured on the Female Sexual Function Index’s genital arousal scale. So, will getting more sleep

improve your sex life? The solution The story of how lack of sleep reduces women’s desire is a complicated one, says the study’s lead author, Dr David Kalmbach from the University of Michigan. In fact, women’s sexual desire itself is complicated. Expert panels say that between 20% and 50% of women have problems with sex – often to do with lack of desire or difficulty in becoming aroused. But how much of this is medical, and how much social and psychological, is highly debatable. It is estimated that 20% of women have problems with lubrication – which could be due to anything from the menopause to insufficient foreplay. Kalmbach thinks it could also be due to lack of sleep – rapid- eye-move-

ment (REM) sleep in women is associated with increased blood flow to the vagina, while lack of sleep also reduces levels of androgen hormones, which may reduce the desire for sex. Sex is strangely complicated for such a natural, essential activity. Studies of loss of desire in women often cite psychological factors, such as overfamiliarity with a partner, the institutionalisation of relationships and loss of intimacy. Would sleep help any of these? That said, sleep is at least likely to promote healthy sexual responses through its regulatory actions on hormones, just as it safeguards against medical conditions. The recommended amount for anyone over 18 is between seven and nine hours a night.

Shocking NHS postcode lottery for elderly care An NHS 'atlas' reveals the full extent of the postcode lottery in healthcare Elderly people in some parts of the country are nine times more likely than in others to be admitted to hospital as emergency cases - for lack of the right care in their local communities. The statistics also reveal a three-fold difference in the chance of cancer sufferers being diagnosed early

enough to have a good chance of successful treatment, depending where they live. The figures, published by Public Health England, are among more than 100 measures assessed today in an “NHS atlas” exposing enormous variations in NHS care.

They also show major disparities in dementia care, the chance of receiving stroke treatment quickly, or receiving treatment at all for a host of common health complaints such as cataracts. Over 75s living in Canterbury were the most likely to be admitted to hospital as an emergency for a stay of less than 24 hours, with 11,000 cases per 100,000 population. Officials track this measure because most such stays could be avoided, if the right care was available closer to home. Those living in North East Lincolnshire were nine times less likely to experience have an NHS stay under such circumstances. In Slough in Berkshire,

just 18 per cent of those with the disease are diagnosed when it is at stage 1 or 2 – when it is most likely to respond to treatment. In West Suffolk, the figure is 60 per cent. Tom Cottam, policy manager at Macmillan Cancer Support said the major differences were costing lives. “This simply isn't good enough – where you live shouldn’t have a bearing on how early your cancer is caught,” he said. “It’s crucial people are diagnosed as early as possible as it gives them a better chance of surviving cancer and having fewer long-term complications.” The East of England has by far the best record for diagnosing cancer in the

early stages of its development. Of the top 10 CCGs with the highest percentages of cancer diagnoses made at stage one or two, nine were situated in the East of England. In South East England, the East Midlands and Yorkshire cancer caught at stage one or two made up less than a quarter of diagnoses in some areas. Patients in NHS Coastal West Sussex were the least likely to receive cataract surgery, with those in Bradford having almost three times as much treatment. The study found major variations in stroke care. Patients who suffer a stroke are supposed to be sent to a dedicated unit within four hours, for urgent treatment, improving the

chance of survival and lessening the risk of disability. But the research found the proportion receiving care within four hours ranged from 35 per cent to 80 per cent. Bradford, Waltham Forest in east London and Southwark in south London had the highest number of emergency admissions for over 65s with dementia.

Health

Friday 25th September 2015

VW scandal caused nearly 1m tonnes of extra pollution Contact@medb.es

Website: www.medb.es

Emissions could have far greater impact in Europe, where almost half passenger cars are diesel

Volkswagen’s rigging of emissions tests for 11m cars means they may be responsible for nearly 1m tonnes of air pollution every year, roughly the same as the UK’s combined emissions for all power stations, vehicles, industry and agriculture, a Guardian analysis suggests. The potential scale of the scandal puts further pressure on Volkswagen’s board and its chief executive, Martin

Winterkorn. The company’s executive committee plans to meet on Wednesday to discuss the affair and to agree the agenda of a full board meeting scheduled for Friday, amid reports that Winterkorn could be replaced. The carmaker has recalled 482,000 VW and Audi brand cars in the US after the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) found models with Type EA 189 engines

had been fitted with a device designed to reduce emissions of nitrous oxides (NOx) under testing conditions. A Guardian analysis found those US vehicles would have spewed between 10,392 and 41,571 tonnes of toxic gas into the air each year, if they had covered the average annual US mileage. If they had complied with EPA standards, they would have emitted just 1,039 tonnes of

NOx each year in total. The company admitted the device may have been fitted to 11m of its vehicles worldwide. If that proves correct, VW’s defective vehicles could be responsible for between 237,161 and 948,691 tonnes of NOx emissions each year, 10 to 40 times the pollution standard for new models in the US. Western Europe’s biggest power station, Drax in the UK, emits 39,000 tonnes of NOx each year. Germany’s Tagesspiegel newspaper said on Tuesday that VW’s board would replace Winterkorn, who has led the company since early 2007, with Matthias Mueller, who runs the company’s Porsche sports car division. Volkswagen rejected Tagesspiegel’s report and Winterkorn continued to ask for the public’s trust on Tuesday, saying the scandal was caused by “the bad mistakes of a few”. But Wednesday’s meeting will prove crucial to how VW responds. New York and other state attorney generals are forming a group to investigate the scandal, New York attorney general Eric Schneiderman said, adding to a series of

investigations in the US, Europe and Asia that threaten to sap Volkswagen’s resources and impose large penalties Last week, a report from NGO Transport & Environment found that Europe’s testing regime was allowing nine out of every 10 new diesel vehicles to breach EU limits. Testing regimes in the EU are known to fail to pick up “real world” emissions because cars are not driven in the same way in the laboratory as on the road. Some studies suggest the discrepancy may be up to

seven times the legal limit. Williams said being able to mask their NOx emissions would also enable carmakers to pass carbon emissions tests more easily as there was a trade-off between NOx and CO2 in diesel engines.. Catherine Bearder MEP, a lead negotiator on the EU’s new air quality laws, said: “Manufacturers in the US have been caught out, but we know that pollution limits are also being breached in Europe ... Unless we take action, thousands of lives will continue to be tragically cut short by air pollution.” In a sign that the emissions scandal will not remain restricted to the US, a Venice court will next month hear a case against VW and Fiat for misleading test advertising. The Italian consumer rights group Altroconsumo is due to press its case for a class action suit against VW and Fiat on 2 October, after laboratory tests showed that fuel consumption and CO2 emissions from the VW Golf 1.6 and Fiat Panda 1.2 were up to 50% higher than claimed. Altroconsumo wants the German car firm to pay damages of €502 (£365) to the owner of a VW Golf in a case that raises the possibility of widescale compensation payouts by the car industry.

Friday 25th September 2015

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Ellen wanted to know how to print off emails in ADVICE: : Josephine wanted help with a .pdf viewer. Sky email. Hi Richard, can you please tell me how to alter the size of the print when printing off my emails as I need to do from time to time it appears to have happened since sky changed the email and it is now so small they are difficult to read even with my glasses on thank you hope to see you at diving soon Ellen

Hi Ellen, I suspect that you are not printing off your emails correctly, hence the problem you are experiencing with print size. Sky use Yahoo’s email system and many people click File, Print to print off their emails, this results in a number of problems with the printing, including the printing out of adverts and banners at the edges of the email page. In order to correctly print your email, first open up the message you wish to print, then click ‘actions’ then ‘print message’ this will result in a new page opening that has only your email in it, none of the menu’s, adverts or other things that get in the way, then just click ‘print’ to get your email. Hopefully that will sort out your problem.

ADVICE: John wanted to know how to turn off the high contrast screen settings.

Hi, I clicked the ease of access icon on the bottom left of the screen and found among other things on the list " see more contrast in colour (high contrast)" I enabled this but having looked at it, decided I didn't care for it. I've tried everything to restore to the original but it will not return. I wonder if you could help with this please and look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards, John

Hi Richard, need a bit of help with P D F Viewer. I bought my computer from you and need you to advise me whether I am able to install the above or is it already within. I am worried to try to do anything in case it crashes. I have a couple of bookings that I need to obtain to print out from EasyJet etc. I am away very shortly, so can you please let me know as soon as possible as what I need to do! Many thanks, Josephine

Hi Josephine, when we supply computers we always install Adobe Acrobat Reader – the thing you need to read .pdf files, so if it’s one of our computers it should already be installed, if it’s not then you can get a free copy of it from the following address… http://get.adobe.com/reader/

ADVICE: Morag wanted to know how to stop Amazon sending her emails. Dear Richard, is there any way I can stop unwanted e-mails being sent from "Amazon books". As I don't have daily access to a pc these e-mails mount up quite considerably and I have no intention of ever reading these e-mails. Keeping my fingers crossed. Yours sincerely, Morag

Hi Morag, yes there is, the next time you get access to the Internet, go to the Amazon website and log into your account. Once logged in scroll down to the ‘settings’ section, you will see a sub section called ‘e-mail from Amazon’, it’s from within this section that you can control which emails, if any, you want to receive from Amazon.

Hi John, it sounds like you have turned on the “ease of access” settings which are specifically designed to enable people with poor hearing / eyesight (like me!) to make the computer easier to use. To turn these settings off you need to head into the Control Panel (Start > Control Panel) then in the top right hand portion of the control panel window there is a search box, type “ease” in there and you will be offered the “Ease of Access Centre”, click on it. Now click the link “Make the computer easier to see” in the “Optimise visual display” section and remove the ticks from any of the boxes that have them in, then just click “OK” and you are done, you should be back to normal.

ADVICE: Uffe wanted to know whether he could install Firefox on his tablet without risk.

Hi Richard, before I install Firefox on my tablet I would like to make sure it doesn’t conflict with Google Chrome which is my usual browser? By the way, I have another access to the Internet simply called "Browser"! I seldom use it, but it appears that it is "just" Google - and not Chrome? Anyway, can I install Firefox without "risk"? Thanks Uffe

Hi Uffe, everything we do with our computers has an inherent risk attached to it, however in this case it’s a pretty straight forward thing to do to install a new web browser on your tablet. There should be no “conflict” between the different browsers, Google Chrome, Firefox and “Browser” which is simply a web browser that comes as part of the Android package are all happy to work alongside each other on your tablet.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Friday 25th September 2015

Carthagineses and Romanos Battle for Cartagena

All of this week, the historic city of Cartagena is time-hopped to a time many years ago, as the annual Romans against Carthaginians battle is recreated. Cartagena has a history of three thousand years and, immediately as the summer comes to a close, the festival begins. To relive the history of the city, the Festival of Carthaginians and Romans evokes various official events from the Second Punic War: the causes of conflict between the

Carthaginian and Roman powers, the beginning of the conflict and its outcome. There are a variety of different events throughout the entire week, including the rather bizarre sight of Romans on bicycles on Tuesday, but as we get towards the weekend, the action gets even more intense. A full guide is available from the tourist information offices, but here are some of the more traditional highlights. Friday - 11:00, Sea battle in the Port. 19:00, Landing of

the Roman Army at the port. 20:15, Battle to conquer Qart-Hadast, Cuesta del Batel. 21:30, Victory at the Port followed by Military March of victory after the surrender of the city. Saturday - 13:30, Tribute to the fallen Romans, Monumento Funerario Torreciega. 19:00, Parade of Troops and Legions. Plaza del Ayuntamiento, Mayor, Puerta de Murcia, del Carmen, Plaza de Espa単a, Alameda de San Anton, Soldado Rosique, Puente Carthago Nova to the

Festival Camp. Sunday 21:00, Extinguish of the sacred fire. 21:30, Firework display at the Festival Camp. Please check the times with the tourist office are they were correct when the schedule was first published, but are subject to change. Even just for a walk around the city, Cartagena holds many a secret that is waiting to be discovered and this event makes it even more of an attraction than normal, and so a time not to be missed.

Classifieds

Friday 25th September 2015 ALARMS

CATERING

MOTORING

AUCTIONS

CLEANERS

LOCKSMITH

SURVEYOR

CAR BREAKERS

REMOVALS

DRAINAGE

WELDER

BARBER

CARPENTER

SWIMMING POOL SERVICES

PLUMBER

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Friday 25th September 2015

England’s Welsh Warning

England need to beware as they prepare for Saturday's Twickenham showdown with 2011 semifinalists Wales. Beware of wounded Dragons...they are likely to catch fire and reduce

you to cinders. St George is still recovering from the burns inflicted by Wales in the 2013 Six Nations championship. In case anyone has forgotten, the written-off Taffs thrashed England by a record 30-3

Four On The Bounce

Around one thousand runners pounded the streets of the La Marina village area in the seventh staging on Sunday of the Cross Pins y Mar de la Marina race, which saw the competitors take on an

eight kilometre circuit which started and finished at La Avenida de La Alegría. Raúl Guevara won the event for the fourth consecutive year, which was organised by the La Marina athletics club.

ACCOUNTANTS

CHURCH SERVICES

Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self-employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

CARS Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party! Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. Call Our Team Now on Tel: 966 923 963 Car document transfers same day provisional certificate. No trafico visit required. Torrevieja based office. Call us Today on Telephone 966 923 963.

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning. They will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further information and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org. International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

margin and went on to lift the European crown for the fourth time in eight years. Saturday's confrontation has a familiar look about it. England start hot favourites with Wales decimated by injuries to key playmakers Lee Halfpenny, Rhys Webb and long-term casualty Jonathan Davies. The game will be a doddle for Stuart Lancaster's sweet chariot, predict the fans in the white shirts and rose-coloured spectacles. Bu will it – particularly following the loss of England's midfield try

machine Jonathan Joseph? Wales, for all their injuries, feel they can exploit a juggled English back line which includes relatively untried rugby league convert Sam Burgess replacing Joseph. With Lancaster also handing George Ford's No.10 jersey to Owen Farrell, the Welsh will feel they can exploit what they see as England's soft midfield under-belly. Have Farrell, Burgess and St George got what it takes to slay the Dragon? Tune in to ITV at 9pm Spanish time on Saturday to find out.

Making A Splash The new season brought instant success for the Club Natacion Torrevieja swimmers in their first races of the new campaign. Piroska Rideg, Zoe Connolly, Yuriy Lymar, Paul Matthews and Vicki Connolly swam against 200 other swimmers across a distance of sixteenhundred metres around the Port of Cartagena in the 24th “Trofeo Carthagineses y Romanos” event. Zoë came in first for the Torrevieja team being placed 11th in her age category (13 –14yrs) followed, three and a half minutes later, by mum Vicki. In the Masters II category (42-52

yrs), Vicki took first place with a time 25mins 26 secs. Both Piroska (15-16yrs), Yuriy 19 – 24yrs) and Paul

INSURANCE

criminal defence, Spanish Wills. Tel: on 966 923 963

CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral. Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

TUITION

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNATIONAL MEDIA needs selfemployed salesperson. Car, mobile phone and client base available. For more info call 685 901 265 or email info@radiocosta.eu

SERVICES Gardening, property maintenance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with Spanish Wills, debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud,

Guitar lessons for beginners, as well as improvers. Provide an insight into most musical styles. From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja.

QUIZZES Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel:- 664 838 581

REMOVALS Van leaving SPAIN to UK on the 5th of October Space available. Please Telephone Today 722711998 or 0044 7552985343 or email keithvanman9@gmail.com

(Masters III – 54yrs and above) all finished the competition placed sixth in their respective age categories.

Ivie Davies on Golf

Friday 25th September 2015

Suzann’s Poor Judgement

Sunday’s final day of the Solheim Cup contest between the American and European women had it all courtesy of an emotional rollercoaster which saw the visitors snatch the trophy out of the European hands in Germany all after one of golf’s biggest controversies in years. The whole thing kicked off during Sunday morning’s pick-up of Saturday’s four balls as Charley Hull and Suzann Pettersen came from one down with three to play against Alison Lee and Brittany Lincicome to win the match, one up. Then everyone went berserk and lots of people started crying, as Europe were hot favourites to retain the trophy, after leading 10-6 with the singles to come. The Yanks turned it round, presumably fired up by the morning drama, and took

the trophy by a single point at the St. Leon-Rot course. It all came down to this. Lee missed a short putt on 17 and picked her ball up assuming it had been conceded after Charley Hull had started walking to the next tee, as the referee announced the match as all square with one to play. That’s when Pettersen said, “Hold on we didn’t concede that putt. You lose!”. The ref intervened and awarded Europe the hole after the controversial incident. Both Hull and Lee (who was playing in her first Solheim Cup), had to be consoled by team officials amid claims Europe had broken the game's moral code by not conceding from such a short distance. Four-time major winner Dame Laura Davies commentating on Sky Sports, went on the offensive: "I am disgusted," said

Davies. "Suzann has let herself and her team down." Davies also said that England's Hull, 19, was not at fault. US captain Juli Inkster thought Europe's action was "disrespectful," and added: "I couldn't believe it. I saw Suzann walk away. You don't do that to your peers. I expected Carin (Koch, the Europe captain) to do something afterwards but she didn't." Fat chance! Europe had a Solheim Cup to win. Carin Koch responded to Inkster's comments by saying it was Lee's mistake, adding: "Our team didn't concede the putt. She picked it up. It broke the

She has had food poisoning and now she has been wronged by one of the most senior players in golf and used to be one of the most respected players. I know Pettersen is angry and justifying everything, but she has let herself down and she has certainly let her team down. I am so glad I am not on that team this time.” US Captain Juli Inkster was overheard to say: "If that's the way they want to play, let's go," with Stacy Lewis adding: "Let's use this to motivate ourselves," before leading several of her team-mates in a chant of “U-S-A! U-S-A!”

rules. We considered changing the outcome but we would not have given the putt. They would have made her putt it. So, no. We all feel bad for Alison but she made a mistake." But, was that the way to respond, when earlier in the contest Annika Sörenstam had been let off the hook for allegedly breaking the rules about a vice-captain giving advice? Charley Hull stepped up to the plate and birdied 18 but was reduced to tears along with Alison Lee when it all kicked off after the match. Laura Davies went on: “I'm disgusted," she cried. "We have got our best player, Charley Hull, who has just won a point and she is in floods of tears. That tells you the wrong thing was done. How Suzann can justify that I will never, ever know. We are all fierce competitors but, ultimately, it's unfair. We have to play week in, week out together and you do not do something like that to a fellow pro. Poor old Alison Lee must think, 'I hope I never play a Solheim Cup again'.

Whether you think the putt should have been conceded depends on you sympathies, but on one point many conceded. The hammer of justice swung down heavily and America won the Solheim Cup, with Europe being out of order. By the letter of the law she was right, but was it proper? Both players walked off the green as if they had conceded the putt. Suzann should take a leaf out of Jack Nicklaus's book when he conceded a putt to Tony Jacklin in the Ryder Cup in 1969 saying “I don’t believe you would miss that and I am not going to give you the opportunity.” Just watch this paste the link to your browser and watch. Suzann Pettersen took to social media to issue an apology via her Instagram account the following Monday morning:“I’ve never felt more gutted and truly sad about what went down Sunday on the 17th at the Solheim Cup. I am so sorry for not thinking of the bigger picture in the

TITTER ON THE TEE

heat of the battle and competition. I was trying my hardest for the team and put the single match and the point that could be earned instead of sportsmanship and the game of golf itself! I feel I let I let my team down and I am sorry. To the U.S. team, you guys have a great leader in Juli, who I have always looked up to and respect so much. Knowing I need to make thing “right” I had a face to face chat with her before leaving Germany this morning to tell her in person how I really feel about all of this. I wanted her also to know I am sorry. I hope in time the U.S. team will forgive me and know that I have learned a valuable lesson about what is truly important in this great game of golf which has given me so much in my life. To the fans of golf who watched the competition on TV, I am sorry for the way I carried myself. I can be so much better and being an ambassador for this great game means a lot to me. The Solheim Cup means has been a large part of my career. I wish I could change Sunday for many reasons. Unfortunately I can’t. This week I want to push forward toward another opportunity

to earn the Solheim Cup back for Europe in the right way. And I want to work hard to earn back your belief in me as someone who plays hard, plays fair, and plays the great game of golf the right way.” Last weekend’s events have reminded me that it was 30 years ago, this month, when Europe won the Ryder Cup for the first time as a united continent. Sam Torrance holed the winning putt and raised his arms in a “V” for Victory salute that became one of sport’s iconic images. A lot has happened since then!

Rory Replaced

Jason Day took over from Rory McIlroy as world number one after winning the BMW Championship by six shots in Chicago last Sunday. The Australian, 27, finished with a birdie as he carded a two-under 69 to triumph on 22 under par. Northern Ireland's McIlroy finished with a 70 to tie for fourth on 14

under. Day admitted to nerves ahead of his bid to go to the top of the world rankings, saying: "To be honest I had terrible sleep over the last few nights. Thinking about getting to number one; thinking about winning this tournament; and thinking what I had to do to win this tournament to get to number one!"

KNOW YOUR RULES Ron is playing with Alan and Graham when Rodney has putted to with an inch of the hole and Alan said “Pick it up. It’s good”. They were playing an individual Stapleford competition, so is this correct and legal?

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities like golf and tennis as well as many adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is?"

ANSWER

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she asked, "How soon do you need to know?"

A: One of the first rules in the book – Rule 1-1 states that the ball must be played until it’s in the hole. The only exception to that is to concede a putt is in Match Play. There are no gimmies in Stroke Play under the rules.

QUESTION A: No. It is not legal – all putts must be holed out in any Individual Stableford Competition. B: Yes. If your partner tells you to pick it up, you must. C: Yes. Always to keep up with the pace of play.

The Courier Sport

Beauty And The East

It is arguably the biggest giant-killing act in sporting history – but Japan's Rugby's World Cup slaying of mighty South Africa was more than that. It was the ultimate game-changer, a result that introduced the public to global sport's Brand of the Rising Sons, writes GERRY GREEN. While football remains the most popular ball game on the planet, the emergence of Japan as a major rugby union force signals a huge breakthrough for the ovalball code. Forget the 45-10 hammering the oriental boys took from Scotland in Gloucester on Wednesday. The bigger, fresher tartan troops were always favourites against a team weary from their history-making exertions four days earlier. It was the South Africa result that put down the marker for the future of the game at world level. In the words of Japan

coach Eddie Jones, the man who steered Australia to the 2003 World Cup Final, "With an Asian team beating a top-tier country, that really makes it a global sport." Football remains No.1 with the public thanks largely to a complex coaching net that has elevated the top 50 or so nations to a level where their international teams are all capable of beating each other. The scene is changing, however, amid the chaos of Sepp Blatter's corrupt crew and FIFA's continuing refusal to adopt new technology that rugby, tennis and cricket have been utilising for a decade. Rugby has long held the moral high ground when it comes to respect for officialdom and use of technology to ensure that tryscoring and disciplinary decisions are always correct. Professional leagues thrive in all the major rugby nations, with spon-

Friday 25th September 2015

sors queuing up and the lure of big money attracting the world's best players. And crowds at top rugby Premiership games in England attract crowds of Manchester United and Arsenal proportions. Until last weekend, the main thing holding a genuine popularity challenge to football back was the absence of a meaningful rugby presence beyond the traditional hotbeds of the British Isles, France, Australasia, South Africa, Argentina and, to a lesser degree, Italy. The qualification process for RWC 2015 involved no fewer than 83 nations, the majority of them rugby's equivalent to European football's newest whipping boys, Gibraltar. Gibraltar beating England in the World Cup finals? Pure fantasy, of course. Yet that is what Japan effectively achieved by beating the Boks with a bit-part team made up of physical midgets and journeymen pros from overseas who qualify for Empire status on residential grounds. In fairness, Japan's rugby minnows weren't exactly devoid of professional assistance. The game has long been hugely popular in the Land of the Rising Sun, and a coaching team led by former Wallabies chief Jones and ex-England captain Steve Borthwick knew exactly what was required

to make the team genuinely competitive. Way back at RWC 1991, I remember Japan's charismatic manager Shiggy Kono lamenting after a World Cup defeat at Murrayfield at the physical limitations of his players. "Our backs are as good and as quick as any other nation,'' said the man who claimed to be his country's only failed kamikaze pilot.”The problem is finding Japanese players who are physically as big and tall as those in the leading rugby nations.'' Londoneducated Kono, who died in 2007, reckoned he was such a bad pilot that his wartime kamikaze unit bosses refused to send him on a mission. A mission where survival would have been as likely as the Japanese rugby team beating the 1995 and 2007 world champions. Even with the absorption of foreign-born forwards, Japan's tallest player at the World Cup is a mere 6ft 4in – that's four or five inches shorter than the average Bok, Kiwi or English second-row giant. Japan can still qualify for the quarter-finals for the first time despite the defeat by Scotland - but even if they miss out, noone can take from them the fact they achieved the unachievable. The little big men have also lifted the game of rugby into a new era of global competition.

Barclays Premier League Saturday 26 September

13:45 Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester City 16:00 Leicester City v Arsenal 16:00 Liverpool v Aston Villa 16:00 Manchester United v Sunderland 16:00 Southampton v Swansea City 16:00 Stoke City v Bournemouth 16:00 West Ham United v Norwich City 18:30 Newcastle United v Chelsea

Sunday 27 September 17:00 Watford v Crystal Palace

Monday 28 September 21:00 West Bromwich Albion v Everton

Sky Bet Championship Friday 25 September

20:45 Fulham v Queens Park Rangers

Saturday 26 September

13:30 MK Dons v Derby County 16:00 Birmingham City v Rotherham United 16:00 Bolton Wanderers v Brighton and Hove Albion 16:00 Brentford v Sheffield Wednesday 16:00 Burnley v Reading 16:00 Cardiff City v Charlton Athletic 16:00 Hull City v Blackburn Rovers 16:00 Ipswich Town v Bristol City 16:00 Preston v Wolverhampton Wanderers

Sunday 27 September

14:15 Middlesbrough v Leeds United

Tuesday 29 September 20:45 Brentford v Birmingham City 20:45 Fulham v Wolverhampton Wanderers

Scottish Premiership Saturday 26 September 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00

Celtic v Heart of Midlothian Dundee v Ross County Inverness v Aberdeen Kilmarnock v Hamilton Academical Motherwell v Partick Thistle St. Johnstone v Dundee United

Spanish La Liga Friday 25th September 20:30 Valencia CF v Granada CF

At Last!

CD TORREVIEJA 2 MURO 0

A Winning Start SS FULGENCIO 0 CD MONTESINOS 2

Torrevieja got their first win of the season, with their best work in the first-half getting both their goals against a pedestrian side that finished up with nine men! Lewis Allen(pictured being challenged) was in sparkling form, netting the opener and all day long tormenting the Muro defence. He constantly out sped them, out jumped them and out foxed them. He was unlucky not to add to his tally and it is clear that he is Torry's most dynamic and lethal striker as opened up his club account in just the eighth minute. Good work from Luis Carlos then set up captain Carrasco for a second goal, and the die was

cast. Allen later lobbed the ball past the Muro keeper who had advanced outside of his penalty area. He proceeded to prevent the ball going past him and into the empty net by handling it and thus was dismissed. Muro had another player shown a straight red in the second half when he swiped an arm at Sanchez and flattened him. Despite the numerical advantage, Torry failed to score again, though Juanfran had two headers that went close. A stern test awaits on Sunday at La Magdalena against Novelda, whom Torry have never beaten.

The season’s opener brought a deserved victory for Monte though the opening stages of the clash were somewhat dour, but the travelling supporters noticed a brand of passing football that was somewhat missing last season. Newcomer Dario had a big shot skim the post and Orouker produced a fine block from a home defender before Macan cooly slot past the advancing keeper on the stroke of half-time. In contrast, San Fulgencio didn’t even manage a first-half shot on target which was to the credit of the well-organised Monte defence.

The home side started the brighter in the second period, but Macan constantly looked dangerous, as San Fulgencio’s frustration led to a series of cynical fouls that were yellow carded. It wasn’t until the 85th minute that Monte doubled their advantage as substitute Wallace, who made a positive impression when he came on, produced some great work down the right, cleverly cutting inside and laying on the ball to Macan to get his second as he smashed the ball home. Monte’s first home match is this Sunday afternoon against Rayo Orihuela with a 5.00pm kick-off.

Foot and Pedal Around fifteen hundred competitors will be hitting the streets of Santa Pola this Sunday for the 21st staging of the Pepe Bonet Memorial Duathlon. The action starts at

Saturday 26 September 16:00 18:15 20:30 20:30 22:00

Barcelona v Las Palmas Real Madrid v Málaga Sevilla v Rayo Vallecano Villarreal v Atlético de Madrid Eibar v Celta de Vigo

Sunday 27 September 12:00 16:00 18:15 20:30

Sporting de Gijón v Real Betis Deportivo de La Coruña v Espanyol Getafe v Levante Real Sociedad v Athletic Club

UEFA Champions League Tuesday 29 September

20:45 Arsenal v Olympiakos 20:45 BATE Borisov v Roma 20:45 Barcelona v Bayer Leverkusen 20:45 FC Bayern München vDinamo Zagreb 20:45 FC Porto v Chelsea 20:45 Lyon v Valencia CF 20:45 Maccabi Tel Aviv v Dynamo Kyiv 20:45 Zenit St Petersburg v KAA Gent

Wednesday 30 September

18:00 FC Astana v Galatasaray 20:45 Atlético de Madrid v Benfica 20:45 Borussia Mönchengladbach v Manchester City 20:45 CSKA Moscow v PSV 20:45 Juventus v Sevilla 20:45 Malmö FF v Real Madrid 20:45 Manchester United v VfL Wolfsburg 20:45 Shakhtar Donetsk v Paris Saint-Germain

10.00am with a five thousand metre run around Santa Pola, and then the contenders will get on their bikes for a 19 mile race into the hills surrounding the town, all rounded off with another

three thousand metre run around Santa Pola. The roads will of course be busy as a result, but the event is a spectacle not to be missed if you´re a sporting fan.

Friday 25th September 2015

Ilicitanos Joy HUESCA 1 ELCHE 3

Barca Shocker CELTA VIGO 4 BARCELONA 1

The Courier Sport

COSTA WENGER RAGEr!claims

nge Arsene We go Costa ie D r e ik that str been sent e v a h ld shou the defeat off twice in . to Chelsea

Elche’s good start to their Segunda Division campaign continued on Sunday with an impressive victory at struggling Huesca that has lifted them to second in the table, two points behind Osasuna. Sergio León was Huesca’s main tormentor last Sunday with a couple of goals as well as missing a golden opportunity to get a hat-trick. Hector got the third for the Ilicitanos, whilst the home side got an injury-time consolation. It’s a high-noon Sunday kick-off for Elche this weekend as they entertain mid-table Oviedo.

Lionel’s Double BARCELONA 4 LEVANTE 1

Iago Aspas struck twice as unbeaten Celta shattered Barcelona's 100 percent start on Wednesday. Ex-Barca youngster Nolito continued his fine start to the season with a stunning opener and substitute John Guidetti struck for rampant Celta after Neymar had claimed a consolation. Barcelona created numerous chances but poor defending proved their undoing as the champions were continually caught on the break, as they surrendered the top of the table to Real Madrid. Barcelona are at home to Las Palmas tomorrow afternoon (Saturday).

New Leaders ATHLETIC BILBAO 1 REAL MADRID 2

Barcelona kept their 100 per cent start to the season going last Sunday with a comfortable win over Levante. The visitors did manage to keep the La Liga champions at bay until half-time, but Marc Bartra soon broke the deadlock before a double from Lionel Messi and a goal from Neymar increased Barca's advantage, while Victor Casadesus netted a consolation for Levante. It should have been a hat-trick for Messi though as he missed a spot-kick.

One’s Enough REAL MADRID 1 GRANADA 0

Karim Benzema scored a brace as Real went top of the Primera Division on Wednesday night. The Frenchman pounced on an embarrassing error by defender Mikel San Jose to put Real ahead on 19 minutes and then restored their lead in the second half just three minutes after Sabin Merino had headed the Basques level. It wasn’t a vintage Real performance, who conceded their first goal of the season in all competitions, while Cristiano Ronaldo's wait for his 500th goal goes on. That might happen at home to Malaga tomorrow earlyevening.

Hornets Buzzing Karim Benzema scored the only goal as Real Madrid were made to sweat to see off a bold Granada side at the Bernabeu last Saturday. The Frenchman headed in a cross from Isco nine minutes into the second half to break the deadlock against the dogged Andalusians, who had what looked to be a legitimate goal ruled out for offside and squandered a number of clear scoring chances

Sunday should see a good game between improving Watford at home to pulsating Palace, who will be smarting after just losing to Spurs on Sunday, but improved in a 4 – 1 Cup win over Charlton. Watford beat Newcastle – who isn’t – and the happy Hornets have now climbed to mid-table respectability with nine points from six games. On Monday night, Everton visit West Brom, the Baggies cock-a-hoop after the 1 - 0 derby win at Villa Park. Plaudits to Pulis because the Berahino baggage has been buried, and Tony’s tough team with four clean sheets now are turning up trumps again. Toffees time? Let’s suck it and see…

RED MISTw!as

abriel Arsenal’s G improper h it charged w to r reaction conduct fo t s in a ag sending-off Chelsea

Football fans Football fans in Germany, Spain and Portugal get better value for money from top flight matches than English fans because of the hefty £54 average ticket price to see a Premier League game. The Premier League has been ranked fourth for giving football fans value for money, according to the GoEuro Football Price Index and Onefootball, which calculates the results by combining average game costs and league ranking. England’s worldwide league ranking, based on data from Uefa, Fifa and others, is three, but its ticket prices push it to fourth for overall value, one slot below Portugal. This is because to watch a game in Portugal’s Primeira Liga costs £23 – less than half that of an English Premier League game. England was way out in front of the other 25 countries featured. While the average cost of a Premier League ticket, at £54, just pips the £50 to see a Spanish

John McGregor on Sport

Friday 25th September 2015

OF BLUE CRIME Chelsea at war with FA over Diego Costa!

T I U Q A EV ! E L T T BA

The Latest Sport Headlines FORMULA 1 Button in 'good talks' with McLaren RUGBY UNION Australia open with win over Fiji FOOTBALL Investigators ask to see Valcke's emails RUGBY UNION Much-changed France beat Romania FOOTBALL Sheffield Wednesday win at Newcastle

>> Diego Costa hits out at Arsenal’s Laurent Koscielny during last Weekend’s game.

Diego’s at it AGAIN!

'get bad deal' or Italian top flight game, the cost of travelling to an away game was way beyond anywhere else, except the US. Fans pay a typical £216 in the UK to see an away match. By comparison, Portugese fans will pay £98. Football fans in the US will pay £217. “It costs almost the same to travel to Germany to see a Bundesliga match as it does to stay in the UK and attend a Premier League game,” He said each week more than 2,000 British fans travel to see Borussia Dortmund play. If cost is a motivation those fans have made a sound financial move. Followers of the Bundesliga can get a return flight out to Dortmund with Easyjet for £114, whereas Chelsea fans wanting to buy a last minute train ticket to see their team play Newcastle on Saturday would pay a minimum of £127 to go there and back.

As a whodunit it was almost the perfect crime. A man is assaulted in broad daylight: two hands are shoved in his face and he is pushed aside, the assailant then lashing out behind him with his other arm striking the innocent man facially again - and then knocking him to the ground. Seeing this attack the man’s friend gallantly comes to his aid, but he is also violently facially struck with wounds to his neck by the assailant. Up comes a policeman who hadn’t seen the incident, and attempts to calm matters. But the enraged attacker is having none of it and despite the police presence continues to provoke the friend, who eventually kicks out in self-defence. The policeman then arrests the friend for assault and takes him away, and the attacker gets away scotfree… but that’s not quite the end of the story, there is a happy ending. You see this violent-but-true story is set in 2015, and today there are surveillance-type cameras everywhere. Back at the station these are studied and everyone can then see the true nature of the crime. Justice is done, and the culprit sentenced; turns out the attacker has previous form for this

type of violence. Aren’t our policemen wonderful? Strangely – although not really, come to think of it - Diego Costa’s boss Jose Mourinho is the only man on the planet who could see no wrong in his man’s obscenely repetitive criminal behaviour in fact he endorsed it on Saturday by bizarrely awarding Costa his own ‘Man of the Match’ award. Even the big striker’s teammates can see and publicly record the wild actions of a man way out of control. The scorer of Chelsea’s first goal (only achieved when playing ten men), Kurt Zouma unwisely-but-honestly stated in a post-match interview that Costa ’likes to cheat a lot’ - although he ‘wisely’ later retracted his words - wonder if Jose had some Kurt words with the Frenchman? Well said, Zouma, mon ami, we all agree with you. Even Chelsea supporters I know say Costa has gone too far this time, having served a three match ban only last season for stamping on an opponent. He should have been wearing Gary Cahill’s mask on Saturday. But amazingly, take the Brazilian-turned-Spaniard out of Chelsea’s current line up and the Blues

have no power up front. Remy is a different type of striker altogether and clearly doesn’t cut Mourinho’s mustard except in ‘reserve’ games like Wednesday’s League Cup win at lowly Walsall and flopper Falcao is a busted flush. How can it be with all those reserves and on loan players farmed out everywhere, plus all his wonderfullyearned European experience, the Portuguese Man o’ War in charge has no plan ‘B’ without Costa? Now in direct contrast to this time last season the belligerent one is hardly scoring this time round, and when Eden Hazard cannot play as he did towards the end of last season to keep Chelsea afloat. Prem statistics so far read: played six; won two, drawn one, lost three: goals for nine, against 12. With virtually the same set of players last year Chelsea stormed out of the blocks, Costa scoring eight in six games. That’s football for you. In another amazing twist in this season’s Bridge bust-ups club firstteam doctor Eva Carneiro has finally left the club, six weeks after she and fellow medic Jon Fearn were publicly and very rudely admonished in a match by Jose Mourinho.

FOOTBALL Arsenal knock out rivals Spurs RUGBY UNION Five-try Scotland see off Japan EUROPEAN FOOTBALL Borussia Dortmund's winning run ends at 11 RUGBY UNION Nine-week ban for Argentina's Galarza FOOTBALL Martial scores as Man Utd beat Ipswich RUGBY UNION SA show faith in skipper De Villiers US & CANADA Baseball legend Yogi Berra dies CYCLING Kiryienka wins men's world title CRICKET I thought my chance had gone - Patel FORMULA 1 Force India keep Perez for 2016 TENNIS Belgium-GB Davis Cup final to be held on clay BOXING Fury taunts Klitschko dressed as Batman

Supplied by BBC

FLAMIN HOT! ALLEZ Y N O H T AN

Martial will only get better Marital Aids, Martial Arts, all jokes welcome – Man United’s French teenage sensation Anthony Martial looks the perfect striker, already four classy goals in his first three games. £35m? Bargain, pal! Oh, and in true team-type fashion United’s goalie at t’other end, Really-rescued David de Gea is back struttin’ his style, pulling off some superb saves in United’s 3 – 2 win at St Mary’s against stuttering Southampton. Van Gaal insists Martial - who came on as a 70th minute substitute to score United's third goal in added time - will not get too big for his boots despite his stunning start for the club. The Reds should be fine for the points a g a i n s t s a h L A A G struggling LOUIS VAN nited's U Sunderland hailed Man ndreas A s whilst the id k z iz wh Anthony Saints will want d n a a ir re e P to get back to Martial. winning ways, but will they against Swansea in Swales, who although drawing goallessly against Everton, surprisingly lost 1 – 0 in midweek at Hull in the League Cup. The Toffees did better going through 2 -1 at Reading. Saturday’s late show has champions Chelsea away to nervy Newcastle, the Magpies now rock bottom and dumped out of the League Cup at home by Sheffield Wednesday - on Wednesday! What with captaincy crises, Costa and Carneiro calamities, a 4 – 1 League Cup win for Chelsea against lowly Walsall helped calm matters. Now a visit to Tyneside shouldn’t prove a problem, where new manager Steve McClaren has lost four in a row- and it really is crisis time at St James’ Park.

HAIL RS UTD’S STA

FLAMINI AT THE DOUBLE

D N E K E E BIG W

! D A E AH

Hands up – who thinks Man City 1 West Ham 2 was a flash in the pan, a freak result? Before that game at the weekend, City had won all five Prem games, scoring fourteen with none conceded. Well, tomorrow lunchtime we’ll find out, as the barely-believably-beaten Blues travel to Tottenham to take on a side buoyed by the return of playmaker Christian Eriksen and winning again. The Lillywhites 1 -0 win against difficult-to-beat-today Crystal Palace took Spurs to mid-table respectability, albeit suffering a set-back at home against nasty neighbours Arsenal 2 – 1 in the League Cup. Now it’s an avenging Man City coming, who took it out on suffering Sunderland 4 – 1 on Tuesday in the same competition. Victorious over Spurs, wounded and missing-in-action Arsenal are battling on. Gabriel’s reel ‘im in red card was rightly rescinded, but Cazorla’s still banned. Statisticianman, he say Gunners have had more men sent off than anyone else in the Prem - owz about that then, Arsene, not a stat to be proud of, eh? Arsenal’s Saturday’s opponents are that lively Leicester lot at their King Stadium, the Foxes still unbeaten after amazingly again avenging another 2 – 0 setback, this time coming back at Stoke to draw 2 – 2.

Then in midweek, Leicester overcame West Ham 2 -1 aet in the League Cup, proving beating the Hammers at home can be done. The Potters entertain barnstorming Bournemouth, also overcoming sad Sunderland last week. Dick and his Black Cats look doomed! In just six Prem games, West Ham are making a habit of going to top venues and coming away victorious – ask Liverpool and Arsenal. The Hammers are now rightly third behind the Manchester mafia, and on Saturday entertain doing-nicely Norwich. The Canaries are fresh from a good draw at Liverpool - which brings us nicely to the Reds. The anus (sic) is now really on manager Brendan Rodgers to win. A lot of big money has been spent but 13th place with only eight points is definitely not what the Fenway Sports Group have ordered. On Wednesday, Liverpool only just scraped through on penalties after extra time in the League Cup against lowly League Two Carlisle. Now it’s a Reds’ bogey side, Christian Benteke’s old friends Aston Villa who come to once-fortress Anfield. But vacillating Villa are only one place above the Dreaded Drop Department in 17th place with only four points. So which manager’s under the most pressure? Your call.

FURY GOADS MCCLAREN’S KLITSCHKO MASSIVE JOB

Tyson Fury confronted Wladimir Klitschko while wearing a Batman outfit and warned the “boring” world champion he plans to “knock him spark out”. The 27-year-old, who will take on Klitschko on 24 October with the Ukranian’s WBA, WBO and IBF world titles on the line. Fury told his rival “You’ve never fought a Gypsy King before.

Steve McClaren faces "a massive job" motivating Newcastle players who are "letting him down big-style", according to Sam Allardyce. Wednesday night's Capital One Cup defeat to Sheffield Wednesday brought boos from the St James' Park crowd and McClaren admitted the club is "very close to a crisis".

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p 44-47