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Thursday January 16, 2014 year: 134 No. 8

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thelantern the student voice of The Ohio State University

Bucks look to bounce back

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Bee Gees back with orchestra

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Bob Gribben talks hate mail

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Some undeterred by legal risks when using fake IDs Meyer: Johnson

‘outstanding’ add to coaching staff

Emily Hitchcock Lantern reporter hitchcock.47@osu.edu Some students are willing to risk jail time and fines for a buzz by using fake IDs in Ohio State’s campus area.

The Ohio Investigative Unit made 24 arrests in Franklin County in the area of fictitious identifications in 2013, Eric Wolf, agent in charge of administration for the OIU, said in an email.

It is illegal to purchase or consume alcohol under the age of 21 in Ohio.

Attempting to use an ID that is not a person’s own or possessing or attempting to use an ID that is fictitious are prohibited acts under the Ohio Revised Code section 4507.30(c)(a), Wolf said.

These prohibited acts are first degree misdemeanors, punishable by up to six months in jail and/or a $1,000 fine, Wolf said.

Some OSU students, though, said they used fake IDs for years without facing consequences.

Kathryn Chapman, a fourth-year in linguistics, said she obtained her older sister’s ID at 19 to be able to get into bars on a spring break trip.

“Her only stipulation was that I had to cut my bangs to look more like her,” Chapman said.

Her sister’s ID continued to get her frequent access into bars around campus until she was 21, Chapman said.

She could only recall three times where she had difficulty passing the ID off as her own and attributes her success to a lack of scrutiny by those checking IDs. “My sister’s eye color is different than mine, my sister tans — I’m very pale and she’s very dark, and after I gained some confidence using the ID, I grew out my bangs so they were completely different from my sister’s,” Chapman said.

Not all of those who check IDs let a fake ID pass so easily, however, said one seasoned bar employee.

Cruz Davis, bartender, bouncer and doorman for Bier Stube, a small bar at 1479 N. High St., has been checking IDs for almost five years.

“I usually check everything,” Cruz said.

Pulling out his own ID for reference, Cruz listed color

Dining halls experience overcrowding

Shelby lum / Photo editor

People wait in line for their orders at Marketplace, an OSU dining facility located at 1578 Neil Ave.

Francis Pellicciaro Lantern reporter pellicciaro.1@osu.edu Some Ohio State dining facilities’ workers said their workplaces are being strained to keep up with the demands of a soon-to-grow on-campus population.

Lauren Tepe, a second-year in psychology who has been a student cook at Marketplace since October 2012, said it’s a challenge to ensure quality meals when dealing with mass quantities of diners.

“Marketplace can get really crazy during lunch and dinner times and the actual lunch restaurant is not built to accompany as many customers as it

agcontinued as Dining on 3A

eric seger Sports editor seger.25@osu.edu

tint, holograms, fine print on the back of the ID and lamination as some of the most telling indicators that an ID might be fictitious.

Cruz said he also compares the picture and information listed to the person standing in front of him for discrepancies in eye color, hair color, weight and facial structure.

Keeping the bar out of trouble and in business is motivation to be vigilant with IDs, Cruz said, who added that fake IDs are used most commonly at certain times of the year.

“Fake IDs are out all the time during the first couple weeks of school and during football season,” Cruz said.

“When kids want to come out and party at bars for the games, you see lots and lots and lots of fake IDs.” In a later Facebook message, Cruz said he had turned away three fake IDs Saturday night by 1 a.m.

Sunday.

Procuring a fake ID used to be a lot easier on OSU’s campus years ago, said Richard Morman, deputy chief of University Police.

“Several years ago, we used to get quite a few calls into the residence halls about people making fake IDs and selling them because they were easier to duplicate without the holograms that are on them now,” Morman said.

A Polaroid camera and a big cardboard cutout were practically all you needed to manufacture a fake Ohio driver’s license at that time, Morman said.

Some students without fake IDs, though, said there are other ways to drink while underage.

Nick Engle, fourth-year in aviation management, said he never used a fake ID while he was underage.

“Most of my friends are older so I just had them buy booze for me,” Engle said. “If that hadn’t been the case, I probably would have been tempted to go get a fake ID so I could drink anyway.”

OSU’s Undergraduate Student Government released a statement Tuesday that said it supported Ohio House Bill 392 that would “create an Under-21 Alcohol Good Samaritan policy across the state of Ohio.”

The policy would allow people under the legal age of consumption to contact emergency services if needed without the fear of repercussions or incrimination.

“This Good Samaritan policy will create an environment that encourages students to call for help and make safe and smart decisions. USG supports Good Samaritan policies for Ohio State’s campus and off-campus areas as well as at universities throughout the state of Ohio,” the USG statement read.

Larry Johnson is officially an Ohio State Buckeye.

OSU made the announcement Wednesday, naming Johnson the next assistant head coach and defensive line coach for the Buckeyes, according to a press release.

“I am very pleased that Larry Johnson is an Ohio State Buckeye,” OSU coach Urban Meyer said in the release. “I have great respect for him as a family man, as a coach and mentor of young men and as a recruiter. He is an outstanding addition to our coaching staff.”

Johnson spent the last 18 years of his career at Penn State, including overseeing the entire defensive line for the last 14 years. He also spent 20 years coaching high school football in Maryland and Virginia, according to the release.

“In just a few hours I can tell that Ohio State cares about football,” Johnson said in the release.

“There is a winning tradition that is important here.

They care about academics and they care about players, and I like the way coach Urban Meyer approaches things. He’s a great teacher. He is very organized and this is what I was looking for.”

Johnson is set to replace former Buckeye defensive line coach Mike Vrabel, who announced via Twitter Jan. 9 he was leaving OSU to take a job with the Houston Texans of the NFL. Vrabel’s jump to the NFL comes after Houston announced the hiring of former Penn State head coach Bill O’Brien Jan. 3.

While coaching at Penn State, six of Johnson’s defensive linemen were first-round NFL Draft selections, most recently Jared Odrick in 2010. Johnson also coached seven first-team All-Americans on the defensive line in his time at State College, Pa.,

continued as Johnson on 3A

Landlord ups inspections after stranger found in basement Kathleen Martini Oller reporter martini.35@osu.edu After a stranger was found living unknown to residents in an off-campus house, the company that rents the property is making safety and security adjustments.

The residents of a house on 13th Avenue are still recovering from the shock of finding a stranger allegedly named Jeremy living in their basement in the fall.

When the housemates opened a locked door in their basement in September, they discovered a full bedroom, complete with textbooks and photographs, belonging to a man named Jeremy, said Jimmy Alderman, a fourth-year in civil engineering.

“It was a dangerous situation,” Alderman said in a September interview with The Lantern.

Jeremy told the housemates afterward that his cousin had lived in the house the year before and given him a key to the basement room, Alderman said. When the cousin moved out, Jeremy stayed behind.

NorthSteppe has since taken action to prevent situations like this, said Mike Stickney, broker of NorthSteppe Realty, in an email Wednesday.

“We have made policy changes,” Stickney said.

“We are inspecting our properties on a quarterly basis for safety, security and cleanliness issues.”

The house is split into two leases: one for five people on the first floor, and another for 10 people on the second and third floors.

When the housemates had previously run into Jeremy around the house, they had mostly assumed he was on the other lease, said resident Brett Mugglin, a fourth-year in computer science and engineering who encountered Jeremy in the basement one day.

“He was like, ‘Oh, I was wondering when I’d get to meet the people who live here,’” Mugglin said in September.

The housemates are currently pursuing legal action against NorthSteppe Realty, the company that rents out the house, but progress is slow, said resident MJ Dorony, a fourth-year in journalism.

“We’ve talked to Student Legal Services, who

Chelsea Spears / Asst. multimedia editor

MJ Dorony, a fourth-year in journalism, looks at the room where a stranger was found to be living.

Ritika Shah / Asst. photo editor

Some OSU students living on 13th Avenue discovered a stranger was living in their basement in September.

“It’s more like it’s been brushed under the rug, gave us advice on different people to talk to, but it’s just been a lot of different and maybe (they’ll) look at it later,” processes in itself,” Dorony said.

Malvic said. “My grades started Shortly after the incident, suffering from all the stress of it At one point, we NorthSteppe requested a formal last semester. I’m taking engineerletter from the roommates to ing classes, I’m involved in some had great hopes explain what they wanted from clubs, and now I have this new (of getting free the company and why. The house that is having all these rent and other roommates said they submitproblems.” payment) … and ted the letter, but not much has Though their story received now it seems a happened since. national and international attenlot more dim.

“At one point, we had great tion, the roommates’ lives haven’t hopes (of getting free rent and changed all that much, Malvic other payment) … and now it said.

MJ Dorony seems a lot more dim,” Dorony “The house is famous, not us,” Fourth-year in journalism said. he said.

Several months later, the In the end, Malvic said he just roommates are instead hoping wants to see this situation go to get their security deposit back away. and move on with their lives, said resident Jared “We’ve already been screwed,” Malvic said.

Malvic, a fourth-year in materials science and “We just don’t want it to happen again.” engineering.

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campus Bob Gribben takes ‘hatred’ in stride KRISTEN MITCHELL Editor-in-chief mitchell.935@osu.edu Students probably wouldn’t recognize Bob Gribben around campus — but many know his name.

What they think of him, though, he described as “hatred.”

A director of service operations in the Office of the Chief Information Officer, Gribben’s name is tied to the emails reminding students and faculty to change their passwords every 90 days.

While the 90 day turnover is considered an industry best practice, Gribben said, that doesn’t stop him from getting negative feedback.

“Faculty members are the ones that really email me and tell me, ‘Hey listen, your policy is a disaster, how could you make us reset our password, all you’re doing is creating an environment that causes us to be insecure,’” Gribben said. “They would really write up this nice, long dissertation, and I don’t have any control over it.”

The 90-day policy was put in place about three years ago, and Gribben’s name was put on the reminder emails to give it a personal touch.

“When they said, ‘Let’s make these letters that go out personal, let’s put somebody’s name on it,’ you know, it’s kind of like looking around the room, who wants to volunteer, and I remember my boss just kind of pointing right over at me, and I was like ‘Fine, put mine, I don’t care, whatever,’” he said.

The 1999 OSU graduate said at first he was overwhelmed by the negative response.

“I had a lot of people who were very, very, very verbally abusive, like angry,” he said. “They would find my office number … and I would get a call from someone who would just chew me a new one.”

Gribben said he quickly learned to brush off the attacks, but regularly checks Twitter to see what students are posting about him.

“I saw the massive amount of people that were like, you know, they pretty much said everything they could,” he said.

Gribben started responding to the messages and interacting with students.

“Let’s be honest, people live off the social media, and it’s an absolute blast,” he said. “People think that I’m like this

Sexual imposition, indecent exposure reported at library KAYLA BYLER Managing editor of design byler.18@osu.edu

KRISTEN MITCHELL / Editor-in-chief

Bob Gribben, a director of service operations in the OCIO, poses for a photo Jan. 2. Gribben’s name is tied to the emails reminding students and faculty to change their passwords every 90 days.

95-year-old man sitting at my computer …

I’ve heard it all so far.”

Some students tweet about their emails from Gribben, others use the emails for inspiration.

Ashley Nussen, a third-year in psychology, said a password reminder email from Gribben is what inspired her to dress up as him for Halloween this year.

“I was lying in bed one night trying to sleep. It was the week of Halloween, I think, and I still didn’t have a costume and I got an email from Bob Gribben, like of course, reminding me to change my password … and then I came up with the idea to go as him,” Nussen said.

That weekend, Nussen said many were confused about what her costume was at first, but when people came up to her, she handed them a piece of paper telling them to change their password.

“People would be like, ‘Oh my God, I hate that guy,’” she said.

OCIO spokeswoman Beth Varcho said, “Other than the informal chatter on Twitter, we haven’t received any complaints” about the 90-day password policy.

“Obviously this practice is in place to keep university systems secure and confidential data safe,” Varcho said in an email. “As long as that is the case, we will continue with the 90 day password policy.”

When he’s not fielding questions regarding the password reset, Gribben oversees the Buckeye Bar in William Oxley Thompson Memorial Library and 8-HELP, an OCIO tech support line. However, he is still best known for the password emails, a legacy he didn’t expect when he volunteered his name to be used.

“It’s taken on its own life, it’s like its own role now,” Gribben said.

A 56-year-old man, described as “an habitual offender,” was arrested for sexual imposition at the William Oxley Thompson Memorial Library Saturday at about 5:30 p.m.

Lonnie Sturdivant, a homeless 56-year-old man, was reported to library security for inappropriately touching female Ohio State students who were studying and police were called in, Deputy Chief of University Police Richard Morman said.

Officers found a man fitting the description that had been reported to library security, who was later identified as Sturdivant, and saw him grope a 21-year-old female student. Sturdivant was then arrested for sexual imposition, illegal use or possession of drug paraphenalia and possession of drugs.

Sturdivant might have also been previously involved with similar incidents at other locations around Columbus, Morman said.

In an unrelated incident later in the week, two female students reported a man in Thompson Library exposing himself and masturbating while watching them Monday at about 2:45 p.m. The man was described as being about 60 years old with a “scruffy beard” but “clean cut,” according to a University Police report.

Library security conducted a sweep of the building but did not find the man. A library staff member reviewed surveillance video of the suspect leaving the building. In the video, however, the suspect was aware of the cameras and had taken his shirt off and was using it to cover his face, according to the report.

A 26-year-old male student, suspected to be under the influence of alcohol, was arrested for disorderly conduct at St. John Arena Jan. 8 at about 9 p.m.

There were 36 thefts reported on OSU’s campus this week from Jan. 8 to Wednesday.

In one incident, a male student was arrested for stealing from the food court at the Ohio Union.

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Thursday January 16, 2014

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Johnson from 1A including Courtney Brown, who was picked No. 1 overall in the NFL Draft in 2000.

Since 1996, Johnson’s first season with the Nittany Lions, no other Big Ten team has had as many players from one position win Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year than the five defensive ends Johnson coached. “I am really impressed with the Ohio State players. I just met a group of players, walked out of the room and thought, ‘wow,’ these are kinds of players I want to coach,� Johnson said. “They were really impressive.�

Johnson, who grew up in Williamston, N.C., coached a defense that led the nation in sacks from 2005-09. He focuses on fundamentals and forming relationships with the players he coaches, according to the release.

“I’m a relationship guy and I think in order to get the best out of your players you have to develop relationships,� Johnson said in a released statement. “I’m also a teacher. I like to teach the basic fundamentals of football. I want guys who are fundamentally sound and have the ability to play fast and to play relentless.�

Johnson’s salary was not immediately available Wednesday evening, per OSU. The man he is replacing at OSU, Vrabel, earned a base salary of $291,004 last season, according to the USA TODAY coaches database.

According to PennLive, Johnson was offered to remain as defensive line coach for the Nittany Lions by their new head coach — James Franklin — but declined.

The Buckeyes are set to open their 2014 campaign Aug. 30 against Navy at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore.

Issue 7/Wednesday

Chelsea Spears

Asst. Multimedia Editors:

Courtesy of MCT

Then-Penn State interim football coach Larry Johnson (second from right) sits courtside at the Bryce Jordan Center in State College, Pa., Jan. 8. The Minnesota Gophers defeated the Penn State Nittany Lions, 68-65.

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Dining from 1A gets, so trying to keep up with the rush while trying to make sure everyone’s meals are well made is super tough,� Tepe said.

Jason Walker, the assistant manager at Marketplace, said the dining hall is “operating well beyond what the place was built for.�

Walker, who has worked at OSU for four years, three of which he’s spent at Marketplace, said while he’s heard the capacity of the dining hall is about 1,000 to 1,500, he estimated that Marketplace serves “two to three times that much.� Kevin Hatala, a former employee at Marketplace, said no matter how busy it was, “the managers were always really firm with upholding quality over time.�

Hatala, a second-year in nursing, worked as a student cook at Marketplace from October 2012 to the end of Fall Semester. “It’s gotten pretty crazy, sometimes you feel like you’re holding a little book in your hand of orders,� he said.

Katie McClymonds, a student cook and cashier at the PAD, an OSU pizza service that offers a delivery option, said some people have a misconception about how some dining services works at OSU. “A lot of people who order don’t realize how many people order (the PAD). We deliver to every residence hall and it’s not like Domino’s,� said McClymonds, a third-year in criminology who has worked at the PAD since last semester.

The PAD does not deliver pizzas individually, but instead waits for multiple orders to come in before sending its cars to North Campus or South Campus with orders from residence halls in the respective area.

Others have noticed crowding in the facilities themselves. “We’ve been in situations before where people are standing with their plates with nowhere to sit,� said Branden Canini, a Kennedy Commons line cook who has worked there for about three years. “We don’t want to lose quality service, but we aren’t staffed enough,� Canini said.

Canini said if sophomores move onto campus before new dining facilities on North Campus are built, Kennedy Commons would be “buried.�

Sophomores are set to be required to live on campus at the beginning of the 2016-17 school year.

This requirement coincides with the North Residential District Transformation, a $370 million project that is expected to include new dining facilities on North Campus along with adding 3,200 additional student beds to residence halls. “The planning process is very thorough in insuring that the infrastructure is in place as we plan the new residence halls,� said Office of Student Life spokesman Dave Isaacs.

Isaacs said a significant part of North District planning involves dining halls and a largeserving dining hall on North Campus might be in consideration.

Tepe said if enough facilities aren’t built, South Campus dining could suffer. “If sophomores are going to be required to live on campus in the future, I don’t know how Marketplace will survive. Marketplace gets insanely packed already, which makes a lot of people mad. Having so many more students here could be detrimental to our customer service,� Tepe said.

Employees at other smaller dining facilities experience crowds as well. “We get rushed because there are people on campus, freshmen to graduate students to faculty who are using our lines,â€? said Caitlin Hurdley, a manager at the Campus Grind cafĂŠs. Hurdley, a fourth-year in English has been working at Campus Grind since winter 2011. She said the numbers of customers often increase at times when people are getting out of class.

Canini said a more balanced dispersing of dining halls is needed, as the main locations built to serve large numbers of students are Kennedy Commons, North Commons and Union Market, while many other dining halls are mostly coffee shops.

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3A

sports

Thursday January 16, 2014

thelantern www.thelantern.com upcoming Thursday Women’s Basketball v. Penn State 7 p.m. @ State College, Pa. Men’s Basketball v. Minnesota 9 p.m. @ Minneapolis

friday Men’s Track: Penn State Invite TBA @ State College, Pa. Women’s Track: Kentucky Invite TBA @ Lexington, Ky. Fencing v. Junior NAC All Day @ Virginia Beach, Va. Men’s Swimming v. Kenyon, Oakland, Cincinnati 5:30 p.m. @ Gambier, Ohio Men’s Volleyball v. Lees-McCrae 7 p.m. @ Columbus Wrestling v. Northwestern 7 p.m. @ Cincinnati Men’s Hockey v. Minnesota 9 p.m. @ Minneapolis

Saturday Men’s Track: Penn State Invite TBA @ State College, Pa. Women’s Track: Kentucky Invite TBA @ Lexington, Ky. Fencing v. Junior NAC All Day @ Virginia Beach, Va. Pistol v. Navy 9 a.m. @ Annapolis, Md. Men’s Swimming v. Kenyon, Oakland, Cincinnati 11 a.m. @ Gambier, Ohio Men’s Lacrosse v. Hill Academy (Exh.) 12 p.m. @ Columbus Rifle v. Citadel 12 p.m. @ Fairbanks, Alaska Women’s Tennis v. Baylor 1 p.m. @ Waco, Texas Women’s Hockey v. Minnesota Duluth 4:07 p.m. @ Duluth, Minn.

Women’s Tennis v. Prairie View A&M 6 p.m. @ Waco, Texas Men’s Hockey v. Minnesota 6 p.m. @ Minneapolis Men’s Volleyball v. George Mason 7 p.m. @ Columbus Men’s Gymnastics: Windy City Invitational 8:30 p.m. @ Chicago

Sunday Fencing v. Junior NAC All Day @ Virginia Beach, Va. Pistol v. Navy 9 a.m. @ Annapolis, Md. Rifle v. Alaska 12 p.m. @ Fairbanks, Alaska Women’s Gymnastics v. Rutgers 2 p.m. @ Columbus Women’s Basketball v. Iowa 3 p.m. @ Columbus Women’s Hockey v. Minnesota Duluth 4:07 p.m. @ Duluth, Minn.

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Men’s basketball moving on from losses eric Seger Sports editor seger.25@osu.edu In sports, losses are bound to happen. Especially in men’s college basketball, where the last undefeated national champion was the 1976 Indiana Hoosiers.

For the Ohio State men’s basketball team, though, losses have been a rarity the past two years — just 18 in 93 games.

But back-to-back losses to then-No. 5 Michigan State and then-No. 20 Iowa could cause some uneasiness around the program. That is not the case though, junior forward Sam Thompson said.

“I don’t think anyone in the locker room is hanging their heads. We’re obviously upset about the losses. None of us like to lose — we’re all competitors,” Thompson said Wednesday.

OSU (15-2, 2-2) coasted through its non-conference schedule and first two conference games, rising as high as No. 3 in the top 25. But the back-to-back setbacks — first on the road against the Spartans and then Sunday at home to Iowa — could have the team reeling as it prepares for its road contest with Minnesota (13-4, 2-2) Thursday. Tipoff is set for 9 p.m.

The Buckeyes, however, are doing their best to not let the negativity continue, junior guard Shannon Scott said.

“I think we were all down at first, we were pretty upset with the way we’ve

been playing lately but we’re starting to get back a winner’s mentality now,” Scott said Wednesday. “I think we’re all positive, we all know what we have to do to become successful so we’re all sticking to that and we’re going to try and move on from there.”

OSU’s been here before, dropping multiple games once conference play began in the past two seasons. Two years ago, the Buckeyes lost two of four games over a 11-day span, and last season dropped three of four in February. Those teams rallied to earn trips to the Final Four and Elite Eight, though, which could prove useful for the rest of this year.

“Simply put, it’s a long season,” OSU coach Thad Matta said Wednesday. “I told (freshman forward) Marc Loving after the game, ‘This isn’t going to be the only time in your career you’re at a low point — trust me, it happens.’ It’s the reality for me coaching as long as I have.

We’ve lost to two top-20 teams in backto-back games and we’ve had a shot to win them both. I think the thing we’re trying to find is how do we get back to our consistent, our best basketball.”

The Golden Gophers took MSU to overtime Saturday in East Lansing, Mich., before ultimately falling 87-75. “(Minnesota’s) a great team, they’ve got great guard lay and great bigs as well. We know nothing’s going to be easy,” Scott said. “We’re in the Big Ten now, it’s not like we’re playing some random team.”

Minnesota has four players who

continued as Basketball on 5A

Shelby Lum / Photo editor

Junior forward Sam Thompson (12) attempts a dunk during a game against Iowa Jan. 12 at the Schottenstein Center. OSU lost, 84-74.

Strong junior class leading way with ‘great culture’ Grant miller Lantern reporter miller.5617@osu.edu For the Ohio State men’s hockey team, achieving success stems from one simple mentality.

“This group doesn’t expect to go on and keep games close — they expect to win hockey games.”

Those are the words of OSU coach Steve Rohlik, who has seen that winning disposition manifest itself in his team’s performances so far this season.

Not only have the Buckeyes have won eight of their last 11 games, they’ve also been scoring at a formidable rate of 3.83 goals per game so far this season, the third-best such statistic in the nation.

Among all the scoring success, the junior class’ on-ice performance sticks out the most. Four of the team’s top five goal scorers are juniors, and OSU’s junior class collectively averages more points per game — 5.89 — than any other group of junior players in the nation.

One of them is forward Ryan Dzingel, who leads the team and the Big Ten in scoring with 27 points. But despite his impressive play in the offensive zone, the Buckeyes’ alternate captain said he thinks the influence of his class isn’t just limited to those in leading roles.

“We have a big junior class,” Dzingel

Kelly Roderick / For The Lantern

Junior forward Ryan Dzingel (18) attempts to beat a defender during a game against Michigan State Jan. 11 at the Schottenstein Center. The teams tied, 1-1. said. “So even the guys who aren’t (captains or alternate captains) show a lot of leadership.”

Fellow junior forward Max McCormick has seven goals to his credit, while juniors Nick Oddo and Darik Angeli have found the back of the net five times each.

Forward junior Tanner Fritz, another leading Buckeyes contributor, is tied with Dzingel for a team-high 14 assists. Fritz

said he believes the growth the junior class has gone through is a result of the responsibilities placed on them from day one.

“We all came in together, and since we’ve been here, we’ve had a lot of responsibility,” Fritz said. “I feel like we’ve taken that well, and all of us have had personal success.”

Rohlik, who was an associate head coach on the OSU staff for three

seasons before being named head coach before the 2013-14 season, said the playing time the juniors received when they were younger greatly helped them mature.

“They had to grow up in a hurry with us (coaches) throwing them right into the fire,” Rohlik said. “A lot of these guys have an awful lot of games under their belt.”

Fritz said he sees how the experience of growing up in the program together has made him and his teammates play so well together.

“I think that in any team you want to find chemistry,” Fritz said. “And the fact that we’ve been together for the last three years and have lived together and pretty much done everything together has helped us out a lot.”

Rohlik said there are many other “pieces to the puzzle” that have contributed to the team’s performances this season, but he does single out what the third-year players alone have done for the program.

“This (junior) class has come in and created a great culture … and I think it’s contagious.”

The class of juniors along with the rest of the Buckeyes are set to continue their season when they take on Minnesota Friday. Puck drop is slated at 9 p.m. at the Hockey City Classic in TCF Bank Stadium.

CBJ star Jack Johnson pays visit to OSU Melissa Prax Lantern reporter prax.1@osu.edu A former Olympian shared some time at Ohio State Wednesday.

Current Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson showed off his personality when he grabbed boxes of steaming pizza and handed them out to the line of eager fans.

Students like Scott Pancoast, a third-year in natural resource management, lined up to meet No. 7 for the CBJ. Pancoast said he has been a fan of the Blue Jackets for the past three years but had never gotten a player’s autograph before.

“This is my first time actually meeting a Jacket,” Pancoast said. “The appeal (of hockey) is going down to Nationwide (Arena) and watching the games and having fun.”

Johnson spent two years on the University of Michigan team before deciding he was ready to sign with a NHL team.

Despite Johnson playing for the Wolverines, he said he knew it would be a lot of fun to come meet students on OSU’s campus.

“I’ve always had a lot of respect for Ohio State, especially with the rivalry,” Johnson said. “I thought they were kidding at first when they asked me,

but I jumped all over it when I realized they were serious.”

Students were not the only ones who were attracted to the event.

Emily Murphy of Dublin, Ohio, came to get her memorabilia signed. From Texas originally, Murphy said she is now a die-hard Blue Jackets fan.

“He’s (Johnson) an Olympian so it’s hard not to follow him,” Murphy said. “The Blue Jackets make Columbus feel like home.”

Johnson was not among the names selected to represent the USA in Sochi but he isn’t letting that fact get him down.

“You can’t let other people’s decisions defeat you or define you,” Johnson said. “Once an Olympian, always an Olympian.”

The CBJ are set to play the Washington Capitals Friday at Nationwide Arena at 7 p.m. and are looking to extend their four-game winning streak.

Jim Riley, manager of marketing for the CBJ, said the streak has increased student ticket sales.

“For our game against (the) Carolina (Hurricanes) … we had an attendance record for the rush program,” Riley said. “The rush program allows students to see an NHL game for only 15 or (25) dollars.”

Johnson said even with a big crowd during a game, he keeps calm.

“During a game, you try not to be thinking at all,” Johnson said. “You go out there and have fun and do what you’ve been doing for years.”

Shelby Lum / Photo editor

Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson (right) poses for a photo with first-year in exploration Brent Savan.

Johnson was signing autographs Jan. 15 at the RPAC.

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Thursday January 16, 2014

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sports After road win at Indiana, OSU women’s basketball focused on Penn State JAMES GREGA JR. Lantern reporter grega.9@osu.edu

LIZ YOUNG / Campus editor

Junior guard Raven Ferguson (31) blows past a defender during a game against Old Dominion Nov. 22 at the Schottenstein Center. OSU won, 75-60.

A 12-7 (2-1) record is not exactly a stellar start to the 2013-14 season for the women’s basketball team. However, with 13 games left in the regular season, the year is far from over.

Despite seven losses, the Buckeyes are coming off of arguably their biggest win of the year, knocking then-No. 22 Indiana from the ranks of the unbeaten and out of the top 25 in a 70-51 win Saturday.

Part of the Buckeyes’ struggles might be their tough schedule, which is ranked as the hardest in the country according to Women’s Basketball State, a website that specializes in women’s basketball statistics.

The tough schedule is something coach Kevin McGuff said will help his team down the stretch.

“We have faced a variety of styles. We have faced big teams and small teams,” McGuff said. “All of that together, I think, has really put us in a good position to kind of embrace the great challenge of the Big Ten schedule.”

Of OSU’s remaining 13 games, four come against opponents currently ranked in the top 25. OSU plays No. 16 Penn State twice (Thursday on the road and Feb. 9 at home) No. 18 Nebraska (Feb. 20) and No. 22 Purdue (Feb. 6) a team the Buckeyes beat 89-78 in Columbus Jan. 2.

McGuff said a key to success for the rest of the season is keeping their eye on the prize.

“We will not beat one single team in this league if we do not have great focus and concentration,” McGuff said.

Sophomore point guard Ameryst Alston has been an important asset to the team so far this season. She has played in every game and currently leads the team in average points per game with 16.9. Her 29-point performance at Indiana matched her career high and earned her Big Ten Player of the week honors.

“It’s a blessing and it does feel great,” Alston said of the honors. “Hard works pays off.”

Alston is not the only player on this OSU team that has contributed to their improved play, with the Buckeyes winning five of their last six games.

Junior guard Raven Ferguson has also stepped up her game as of late, recording a career-high 18 points in the win against Indiana.

“This was Raven’s best game all year,” McGuff said in a press release following the win against Indiana. “She generated a lot of offense for herself and her teammates.”

Ferguson said the win against Indiana gave her and her team confidence going forward.

“It is something we can build on for the future,” Ferguson said. “It was just a confidence builder because I had not been playing well.”

Ferguson is one of five players averaging more than nine points per game, something that she said is a big positive going forward.

“It helps us as a team knowing that anybody can score,” Ferguson said.

“That is the main thing … putting points on the board and getting everybody to contribute.”

The Buckeyes are set to take on the Nittany Lions in State College, Pa., Thursday at 7 p.m.

OPINION

Le Batard throws away Hall of Fame vote NICK DEIBEL Lantern reporter deibel.30@osu.edu It is no secret that Major League Baseball is outdated. The league has been criticized for years by fans and reporters for its reluctance to change, including its Hall of Fame voting process.

Earlier this month, Miami Herald columnist and ESPN personality Dan Le Batard protested this process by giving his Hall of Fame ballot to Deadspin.com, who then allowed their readers to decide which players would be put on Le Batard’s ballot.

Le Batard got his vote by being a member of The Baseball Writers’ Association of America, a group of reporters who have voted players into the Hall of Fame since its inauguration in 1936. Those eligible to be elected to the Hall of Fame must be listed ypon 75 percent of the ballots cast.

Le Batard said his reason for protesting is the hypocrisy of only allowing the BBWAA to vote on the Hall of Fame. Also, that the Association has become

sanctimonious by not voting for players because of their connection to the “steroid era.”

The BBWAA banned Le Batard for one year Jan. 12 and barred him from ever voting on the Hall of Fame again.

Le Batard expected that to happen. He also expected that his protest would create a large enough spectacle to bring “anarchy” to Hall of Fame voting.

He failed to do this for a number of reasons.

In a year that had 16 reporters inexcusably deciding not to vote for former Atlanta Braves pitcher Greg Maddux, including Los Angeles Dodgers beat reporter Ken Gurnick, who chose to only vote for former Detroit Tigers Jack Morris, the ballot Deadspin readers’ submitted for Le Batard was far from provocative.

The 10 players on Le Batard’s ballot were Greg Maddux, Frank Thomas, Tom Glavine, Mike Piazza, Craig Biggio, Edgar Martínez, Jeff Bagwell, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and Curt Schilling.

While some might argue this list proved fans are just as capable as BBWAA members at selecting Hall of Famers, it did absolutely nothing to accomplish Le Batard and Deadspin’s goal of making a mockery out

of the Hall of Fame. If Le Batard was throwing away his vote to prove how worthless they have become, the least he could have done was fill out a ballot that got people’s attention.

His next mistake was teaming up with Deadspin on one of their lamest projects to date. After spending 23 years building credibility and integrity as a sportswriter, Le Batard decided to abandon his nationally syndicated TV and radio programs to work with a site traditional reporters notoriously hate. Going with Deadspin left the door open to more ridicule than necessary and fellow BBWAA members have not held back.

The sad truth is baseball is resistant to change.

The BBWAA is not going anywhere. Ken Gurnick, the Dodgers beat reporter who left anyone involved in the steroid era of baseball off his ballot, still has a vote and Le Batard does not.

Le Batard is a fine reporter who had good intentions, but he completely overestimated this stunt, mistaking a mild look-at-me story for anarchical protest. In many ways, this already feels like old news.

Basketball from 4A average in double figures scoring, led by junior guard Andre Hollins with 16.3.

“We know they’re not a slouch. We know that Minnesota, just like every team in this league can beat us,” Thompson said. “They’re a great team, they play a style of play that’s really caused a lot of problems for opponents this season. They force a lot of turnovers, they make a lot of threes. We know that if we don’t bring our best game or we could very easily lose this game.”

Despite his team’s losses last week, Matta said in order to get a win Thursday, OSU just has to get back to what was working before when it opened the season with 15 wins.

“I think just doing what we do, the consistency of what we do,” Matta said. “I say this all the time, know that we’re going to hold teams scoreless, not that we’re going to score every time we have the basketball but it’s one play after another play after another play after another play and then you put yourself in a position and you have a great chance to win the basketball game.”

Thompson agreed.

“We definitely weren’t the same team that we were the first few weeks of the season (last week),” Thompson said. “Whatever the issue may be with that, we just have to get it back.”

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6A

Thursday January 16, 2014

thelantern www.thelantern.com .com

[ spotlight]

weekend concerts Thursday The Felice Brothers 7 p.m. @ Skully’s Luke Bryan 7:30 p.m. @ Schottenstein Center

Friday The Whigs 7 p.m. @ The Basement Oneohtrix Point Never 8 p.m. @ Wexner Center

Saturday Basic Cable Preachers 9 p.m. @ Kafe Kerouac Who’s Bad: The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute 7:30 p.m. @ Newport Music Hall

film releases for Jan. 17 “Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit” “Ride Along” “Devil’s Due” “Back in the Day” “The Nut Job”

itunes top 10 as of Jan. 15 1. “Timber (feat. Ke$ha)” Pitbull 2. “Counting Stars” OneRepublic 3. “Dark Horse (feat. Juicy J)” Katy Perry 4. “Say Something” A Great Big World 5. “Story of My Life” One Direction 6. “Let Her Go” Passenger 7. “Royals” Lorde 8. “Roar” Katy Perry 9. “Wake Me Up” Avicii 10. “Demons” Imagine Dragons

arts desk picks Concert: Oneohtrix Point Never Film: “Back in the Day” Song: “High Hopes” Bruce Springsteen

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Courtesy of Continental Entertainment

Bee Gees tribute band Stayin’ Alive. The band is set to perform with the CSO. Jan. 18 at 8 p.m. at Ohio Theatre.

Bee Gees spirit to be ‘Stayin’ Alive’ in C-Bus ANDREW ZISTLER Lantern reporter zistler.4@osu.edu The Bee Gees won numerous awards during the group’s decades in the spotlight. Throughout a long career, the band produced songs across various genres, from rock to disco and R&B. Now, the Bee Gees’ sound is blasting back from the past to Columbus for a one-night event at the Ohio Theatre.

The Columbus Symphony Orchestra is set to perform 8 p.m. Saturday with Stayin’ Alive, a professional Bee Gees tribute band. Stayin’ Alive is a group whose performance features electric guitars, bass and live drums in collaboration with a full symphony. Accompanying this mix of instruments is a multimedia experience, with original footage and photos from the Bee Gees previewed alongside the tribute performance.

Assuming the role of Robin Gibb, one of the three brothers in the original Bee Gees’ lineup, Todd Sharman performs lead and backing vocals.

“It’s a very unique type of sound that the Bee Gees have. They’re one of those bands that defined an era,” Sharman said. “They have a lot of staying power, they’re iconic.”

The Bee Gees are sometimes considered only for the golden oldies, but Sharman said their music has some staying power.

“We see a large cross section of age groups from kids to adults,” Sharman said. “Sometimes kids even come dressed as the Bee Gees, with fake beards and everything. Their music spans three decades, so it hits a lot of age groups.”

Sharman said the idea for the Bee Gees tribute stemmed from the fact that the symphonic aspect of the Bee Gees hadn’t been greatly explored.

“If you listen to the Bee Gees … symphonic music is already written into it. It really lends itself to symphonies,” Sharman said.

Chris Mullin, the bass player for the band ,

However, playing alongside a symphony with modern electrical instruments isn’t easy.

“When we perform with symphonies, the stage volume is a huge concern. An acoustic instrument, such as a violin or oboe, can’t compete with an amplifier,” Mullin said. “To ensure that the symphony is heard … all of our amplifiers are off stage and routed to our in-ear systems.

The stage volume from us is near to nothing. We know that we have to blend with the symphony and not overpower it.”

Rolanda Copley, publicist for the Columbus Association for the Performing Arts, said in an email it isn’t unusual to see a non-classical act at the CSO. “The CSO has a Pops series each year which features performances from artists that are not necessarily considered ‘classical,’ but have charted their music for orchestra,” she said.

“The CSO felt it would be a thoroughly enjoyable evening for fans of their music and provide a quality musical performance as well.”

Although the group is originally from Canada and has played in Ohio before, this will be its first time visiting Columbus.

“We had an awesome reception in Ohio the last time we played. The people in Ohio are very responsive to shows,” Mullin said. “We are excited about coming to Columbus.”

The Ohio Theatre is located at 39 E. State St. Tickets start at $25 and can be purchased at the CAPA Ticket Center or through Ticketmaster.

Courtesy of Continental Entertainment

Tony Mattina as Barry Gibb in Bee Gees tribute band Stayin’ Alive. The band is set to perform with the CSO Jan. 18 at 8 p.m. at Ohio Theatre. said in an email that playing alongside a symphony enhances the performance.

“We are the only Bee Gees tribute band in the world that performs with symphonies,” he said.

“There is nothing like the power of having a full orchestra behind you.”

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Columbus’ Own

In an attempt to shine light on local music, The Lantern’s “Columbus’ Own” is a weekly series that will profile a new Columbus band every week.

Small stage or large, Basic Cable Preachers perform like ‘band of brothers’ THY THY NGUYEN Lantern reporter nguyen.1070@osu.edu Wherever the pop-rock band Basic Cable Preachers travels, the Columbusbased band is willing to play anywhere for people who want to listen — even if it seems like it’s playing on the world’s smallest stage, said lead singer and guitarist Patrick Schlafer.

On a trip in April, the band traveled from a show in Dayton to do a second performance at a friend’s house party in Cincinnati the next night. The band’s party show took place in a friend’s garage, on a plywood stage. It was the tiniest stage the band had ever seen, Schlafer said.

“We called it ‘the smallest stage on Earth tour,’ but it was such a great experience. No matter how small the stage, there’s always a chance to connect with an audience. So whether we’re playing on a huge stage or a small stage, we should always try to make it the most intimate experience as possible,” Schlafer said.

Schlafer and lead guitarist Steve Kainec met at Capital University and found they shared a fondness of music. Kainec is a jazz music major while Schlafer is a music and technology major. After playing music with one another, they decided to form a band. They reached out to Andrew Forrai, a third-year in communication and English at Ohio State and a high school friend of Kainec’s, who is now the drummer of Basic Cable Preachers. Finally, the band added bassist David Butler to the mix, who was Kainec’s freshman-year roommate and music major at Capital.

Basic Cable Preachers has plans in store for 2014. Members are tentatively planning to record the group’s first full-length album, “Ma.” They are also planning to have their own merchandise apparel and to tour more in the Midwest during the spring and the East Coast during the summer, Schlafer said.

“I’m most excited for the recording of the album in February. It will be the accumulation of what we have worked for so far,” Kainec said.

Forrai said the album the band plans to record is something that is substantial and concrete.

“It’s a personal accomplishment to the band and it’s something we can give out to our listeners,” Forrai said.

Schlafer said the other members of Basic Cable Preachers are more than just his bandmates.

“It’s like they’re all my brothers. They trust me with a lot of things and I also trust them. Being in a band is like a business. They’re also my business partners. I have to be open and be able to communicate with them because we have a lot at stake, too,” Schlafer said, who is currently taking a semester off from his education at Capital to work on the band’s first album.

Courtesy of Mike Gray

David Butler (left), Patrick Schlafer, Stephen Kainec and Andrew Forrai of Columbus band Basic Cable Preachers. The band is set to play at Kafe Kerouc Jan. 18 at 9 p.m.

Kainec and Butler still attend school at Capital.

The band uses a collaborative manner of writing songs, Forrai said.

“It’s a good method. Once (Schlafer) has the skeleton of the song, we take it to practice. It helps to have everyone to be involved, and that’s why songs get written. Songs start to sound good because everyone has input,” Forrai said.

Schlafer said the theme of the band’s songs centers on the ideas of happiness and the stresses that young adults experience in life.

Matthew LaGanke, a third-year in agribusiness and applied economics, is a fan of Basic Cable Preachers.

“I think they’re catchy and creative. Their lyrics just flow. Sometimes people just try and force certain words to rhyme, but they don’t do that. It’s just naturally good music.”

So far, the band has only released one EP called “Friends, Family, and Significant Others.” The songs are free to download.

“We want everyone to walk away feeling like they were accepted and a part of (our music). I don’t believe that there is anyone who isn’t cool enough to listen to our music, it’s all inclusive. Hell, if you listen to our music, you’re like the coolest person in my book,” Schlafer said.

Basic Cable Preachers is set to perform at Kafe Kerouac, located at 2250 N. High St., Saturday at 9 p.m. Admittance costs $5 at the door.

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[ spotlight]

Michael Jackson tribute band to moonwalk onto stage THY THY NGUYEN Lantern reporter nguyen.1070@osu.edu Michael Jackson fever swept over Ohio State last October as the OSU Marching Band celebrated the 1987 release anniversary of the King of Pop’s album release “Bad” by performing some of his songs during a football game’s halftime show.

Campus is about to be hit with Jackson fever once again as Who’s Bad: The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute Band, is slated to appear at the Newport Music Hall 7:30 p.m. Saturday.

Jeff Schad, publicist of Who’s Bad, said the band first started when creator Vamsi Tadepalli had an idea while attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill to start a tribute band for Jackson.

Since there were no other tribute bands for Jackson at the time and because of his love for the musician, in 2004 Tadepalli decided to create a band from individuals that were within his musical circle, Schad said.

Frontman Taalib York remembers his feelings from the first time he auditioned for the Michael Jackson part.

“I was very apprehensive at first because Michael was my idol and I didn’t want to mess up his lyrics. Michael was still alive at the time,” York said.

Jackson died in June 2009 after suffering from cardiac arrest.

York said he also loves performing on stage for people.

“I love being out there. It’s weird. For some reason, I always feel like he comes through me while I’m on stage. It’s almost like a creative and artistic bonding session with my idol as well as a celebration for his legacy,” York said.

Schad said Who’s Bad stands apart from many other Jackson tribute bands because it is the only band touring internationally and the only one that has been performing as a tribute to Jackson since before his death.

York said it is very important to know how to emulate Jackson.

“It’s about emulating little things, details, how to walk, how he carried himself. That’s more of what my focus is. I do definitely know how to dance like Michael. It’s definitely important to

have the swag, and the attitude, and the movement, the punctuation. Everything needs to be lined up, just the little things, how he would stomp his foot or how he would point at the audience,” York said.

The band works hard to bring Jackson back to life for the audience.

“I hope to bring to them Michael. I like the audience to forget about me on stage, to forget that there is a guy doing Michael Jackson and really go back to feel like they’re really watching Michael Jackson,” York said.

However, not everyone is convinced a tribute band can accurately emulate Jackson.

“They’re great at what they do, but Michael Jackson was the original. I don’t think he can really be imitated. I don’t think anyone can touch him at all,” said Loreal Bell, a second-year in criminology.

While some would choose not to go to the tribute band’s concert, they remain fans of Jackson regardless.

“I like his old stuff as a kid from The Jackson 5 and I like that he became a different kind of pop artist in the ‘80s,” said Will Heydinger, a second-year in chemical engineering.

Tickets can be purchased through Ticketmaster at $15 in advance and $20 at the door. The Newport is located at 1722 N. High St.

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Courtesy of Jeff Schad-Montauk Music

Taalib York as Michael Jackson in Who’s Bad: The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute Band. The band is set to perform at The Newport Jan. 18. at 7:30 p.m.

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Thursday January 16, 2014

Thursday January 16, 2014

3B

diversions Crossword Los Angeles Times, Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Lewis

See the solution at thelanern.com

Across

1 In the know 6 Simplicity 10 Dundee damsel 14 Ledger entry 15 Cannonball, e.g.

16 In the know about 17 “The Caine Mutiny� novelist 19 Walk or run 20 Some NASA data-retrieval missions 21 Invitation “S�

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32 Some like it hot 33 Word with log or burner 34 Wrigley team 35 Revelation foursome 36 City ESE of Los Angeles 37 NestlĂŠ product introduced in 1948 38 Big name in liquor 39 Railroad charge 43 Ulna locale 45 Rossellini film renamed “Ways of Loveâ€? in its American version 46 Actor Estevez 47 Like the Titanic 49 Wrapped, as an ankle 50 Nursery employee 51 Exposed publicly 52 Old gridiron gp.

56 Where some worship from 58 Shoot the breeze 59 “Foucault’s Pendulum� writer 60 “Unbelievable� rock group

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Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let it happen again!

Visit the classifieds on thelantern.com to get an early jump on finding your dream home for next year!

thelantern The student voice of the Ohio State University

thelantern.com

Thursday January 16, 2014

classifieds Furnished 2 Bedroom

Unfurnished Rentals

Unfurnished 3 Bedroom

Unfurnished 4 Bedroom

E. 16TH between Summit and 4th. 2 bed, 1 bath, remodeled kit, with dishwasher, free washer dryer, lighted OTP bonus room, kitchen and bath tile floors. no pets, $800.00 a month. call or text steve @ 614-582-1618 view @ skrental.net.

HORSEFARM’S 4 bedroom house and huge yard. 28 minutes from OSU. $1200/mo.

Garden, hunting, lake, and canoeing near by. 614-805-4448 rom5436smith@yahoo.com

$1000+/MO - starting at $275 pp. Spacious 3 bedrooms. 45 Euclid,1394.5 Indianola, 1370 Indianola, 45.5 Euclid, 1372 Indianola, 1394 Indianola, multiple units at 350 E. 12th: University Commons. Available for fall, newly-remodeled, hardwood floors, safe and convenient, large bedrooms, low utilities, DW, W/D, off-street parking, A/C, www.hometeamproperties. net or 291-2600.

E. TOMPKINS Ave. 4 bedroom house. 2 bath. Large insulated attic. Newly renovated. New baths, kitchen. High efficiency gas furnace. Central Air. Refinished Hardwood Floors. New Area Rugs. New dbl pane windows. W/D Hookups. Off-Street parking.

Available Immediately. $1800/mo + utilities. Day: 221-6327 Evening: 261-0853

OSU AVAIL. NOW

750 RIVERVIEW DR.

SPECIAL $100 DEPOSIT 1 B.R. apts. stove, refrig., Gas heat, laundry Carpet and air cond. available NO PETS PLEASE $385 14TH AVE, 8 or 9 bedroom 268-7232 house for Fall. Paid utilities.

Laundry, parking. 296-8353.

OSU/GRANDVIEW KING ave 1 & 2 bdrm garden apts. AC, Gas heat, and hot water. Laun60 BROADMEADOWS BLVD dry facilities. Off-street partking 294-0083

Unfurnished Rentals

WORTHINGTON TERRACE RENTS LOWERED

• 1, 2 & 3 Bedrooms

• 2 Full Baths In 2 & 3 Bedrooms • Intercom Ctrl Lobby • Garage Available • Elevator • Window Treatments INCL

FROM $475.00

80 BROADMEADOWS TOWNHOMES 2 & 4 BDRM Townhomes

FROM $505.00 885-9840

AVAILABLE FALL. 1, 2, 3, & 4 bedrooms on Woodruff or 15th.

Parking. 296-8353.

EFFICIENCY AVAILABLE NOW!$495 - No Application Fee! Call Myers Real Estate 614-486-2933 or visit www.myersrealty.com GARAGES AVAILABLE for rent on SWCampus, only $50/ month. for details Call/email 614-263-2665, gasproperties@ aol.com.

Furnished Rentals

13TH AVENUE, 2 full bathrooms, completely remodeled townhome http://www.veniceprops. com/1655-n-4th 2209 NEIL Ave., Fall rental, 3 bedroom 1/2 double, excellent location, new bathroom, w/d, d/w, new windows, full basement, off-street parking, 740-548-7124, 614-563-8392.

Rooms

EAST 16TH, between Summit and 4th. 4 bed, 2 bath, remodeled kitchen with dishwasher and free washer dryer. large living and dining room, bonus room. lighted OSP. $1580.00 per month. call or text Steve @ 614-582-1618 or view @ skrentals.net

Help Wanted General

***YOU MAKE BIG MONEY. Get signatures on petitions for bars and grocery stores to sell liquor. $2-5 per signature, plus paid car rides, flexible schedulNORTH EAST, 4BD homes, for ing including evenings and weekmore information go to www. ends. 5 to 10 signatures per compass-properties.com or call hour is average. www.WhyISee. 614-783-6625 com, 4588 Kenny Road, Suite 300. Call or email, Charles@ WhyISee.com, 447-9992.

3 BEDROOM Double available Available Now! - $1600 FIRST FULL MONTH RENT FREE Call Myers Real Estate 614-486-2933 or visit $600+/MO - Affordable 1 bed- www.myersrealty.com #1 LOCATIONS: 34 West Oakrom units available for fall. 71 E. land, 170 East Oakland, 242 5th, 556 Drexel, 77 E. 7th, 1181 East Patterson and many more.

Say Ave. Newly-remodled, great 51&53 E. Patterson. 3 bdrm Our homes are in spectacular locations, spacious living areas, half double. Available for fall. condition, to see a full list:http:// hardwood floors, low utilities, Remodeled kitchen & bath. New www.veniceprops.com/properDW, W/D, A/C, off-street park- furnace. New appliances. Hard- ties ing, www.hometeamproperties. wood floors, new windows. Front porch and yard. Full basement, net or 291-2600.

W/D hookups. 740-548-7124.

1 BEDROOM available 2/14! 614-563-8392. $525- No Application Fee! Call Myers Real Estate 55 & 57 E. Patterson Ave., Fall 614-486-2933 or visit rental, really nice completely rewww.myersrealty.com modeled 1/2 double, 3 bedroom, DELUXE ONE Bedroom. 194 new kitchen and baths, upstairs King Ave. Utilities included. Ldy laundry, new furnace and winon site. Central A/C/. Off Street dows, dishwasher, A/C, rear Parking. Phone Steve 614 208 parking and security light, full PREMIER NORTH campus lo3111 shand50@aol.com basement, central air. cation - 152 E. Northwood Ave. 5 spacious bedrooms. 3 bathLARGE ONE Bedroom, corner 740-548-7124, 614-563-8392. rooms. Central air. Kitchen w/ of Patterson and High St. Availall appliances. Washer/Dryer able August 15, rent $600/mo. included. Wood floors throughLdy on site. Phone Steve 614 out. 2 car garage. Fenced 208 3111. shand50@aol.com yard. Landlord pays water/ groundskeeping. $2300/mo.

Call Rob 614-581-3755. $1500+/MO - starting at $375 pp.

331 E. 18th, 335 E. 12th, 1514 Hamlet, 84 E. 9th, 50 Euclid, $1800+/MO - starting at $360 1550 Hunter, 350 E. 12th, and pp. Large 5-12 bedrooms, 119 E. 13th, 52 Euclid, 79 E. 7th, 80 #1 CORNER of King and Neil. more. Available for fall, newly-re- Euclid, 90 E. 12th, 115 E. WoodSecurity Building. 2BR, CA, modeled, hardwood floors, large ruff, 186 Northwood, 1957 IndiLDY, OFF STREET PARK- bedrooms, low utilities, d/w, w/d anola, 405 E. 15th, 38 E. 17th, ING. $775/ month Phone Steve hookup, off-street parking, a/c, 185 E. Lane, 222 E. 11th, 333 www.hometeamproperties.net 614-208-3111.

East 12th, 88 W. Northwood, or 291-2600.

Shand50@aol.com 2312 N. High, 1668 N. 4th, and 186 W. Norwich. Fall rental, more. Newly-remodeled, great 4 bedroom house.

Great lolocations, spacious living areas, #1 NR Corner of Lane and Neil.

2 BR, CA, LDY, off street park- cation, new bath, full base- many with 3+ bathrooms, hardment W/D. Front porch and off wood floors, A/C, lower utilities, ing. Phone Steve 614-208-3111. street parking. 740-548-7124, newer kitchens with DW, W/D Shand50@aol.com 614-563-8392. hook-up, off-street parking, www.hometeamproperties.net $700+/MO - starting at $350 pp. 209 E. 13th Ave. Large 4 bdrm or 291-2600. with carpeting Several units at 320 E. 17th, townhouse 1366 Indianola, 331 E. 18th, 222 throughout, kitchen appliances, 26 E. Patterson Ave, Fall Rental, E. 11th, 1548 Hunter, 77.5 E. W/D hookups. Parking, 1 year Large 5 bedroom house. Great 7th, multiple units at 350 E. 12th: lease. $1660/month. Available Location. Newly remodeled kitchen and two baths. New University Commons. Available Aug 22, 2014. 614-565-0424. for fall, newly-remodeled, hard- 2207 NEIL Ave. Fall rental, 4 hardwood floors/carpet throughwood floors, large bedrooms, bedroom 1/2 double, best loca- out. Full basement. W/D. Front low utilities, DW, W/D hookup, tion, new kitchen & bath,DW, porch and off street parking. off-street parking, A/C. www. W/D, full basement, new 740-548-7124, 614-563-8392. hometeamproperties.net or windows, off-street parking, 291-2600.

740-548-7124, 614-563-8392.

1442 NEIL. Grad Building, 2 bed- 4 BEDROOM. 1/2 double. room, 1600 sf. Garage w/opener, 1703-05 N. 4th St. 2 baths. 2 hardwood floors, A/C, laundry, kitchens. Refinished Hardwood AVAILABLE NOW 14th Ave. 1 block to Medical School, no Floors. Large 2nd floor rear student group house. Kitchen, smoking, no pets, quiet. Avail- porch. Central A/C. Dishwasher. laundry, parking, average $300/ able July 30th. 885-3588.

Washer/ Dryer. Off street park- mo. Paid utilities, 296-8353 or ing. No pets. Available Aug. 299-4521.

2 BEDROOM available NOW! - 2014. $1500/mo. www.ghcrenFIRST MONTH FREE! Room tals.com 614-804-3165 Internet Included available immediately in $495- No Application Fee! 4 BEDROOM. Single House. off-campus house. 4 person Call Myers Real Estate 422 E. 15th Ave. 2 baths. Dining house has 1 room available.

614-486-2933 or visit Room. Carpet throughout. Cen- Men only. $ 425.00/month www.myersrealty.com tral A/C. Dishwasher. Washer/ plus utilities. Campus bus Dryer. No pets. Available Au- stop within 200’. Very good 2 BEDROOM Townhouse avail- gust 2014. $1480/mo. www. condition with 3 friendly ghcrentals.com 614-804-3165. roommates. Please call Ken able NOW! at 614-425-1810.

Internet included - Updated Kitchen LOOKING FOR EMPLOY$695- No Application Fee! GRAD HOUSE Room for rent.

EES? Ohio State has Short-term lease only Neil & Eighth Avail. Now. Across 50,000+ students that you Call Myers Real Estate Street from Campus. Furnished can reach. Call (614)292614-486-2933 or visit rooms, clean, quiet and secure.

2031 for more information. www.myersrealty.com Utilities included. Call 885-3588.

Unfurnished 1 Bedroom

MEDICAL COLLEGE across the street, 1 house from campus. Furnished rooming house for scholars only.

Present tenants= 2 Med students, 2 PhD Engineers and a Law student. Extremely quiet and safe, as is the neighborhood. $450/month 1 year lease minimum. 614-805-4448 or comp4861@yahoo.com

Unfurnished 5+ Bedroom

Unfurnished 4 Bedroom

Unfurnished 2 Bedroom

Rooms

Help Wanted General

Help Wanted Medical/Dental

Help Wanted Interships

LAB TECHNICIAN Analyze environmental samples for pollutants using EPA methods. Candidate must be accurate and detail oriented.

Opportunity to learn in a friendly environment. Full Time/Part Time. Email resume to: advan2@choiceonemail.com, fax to (614) 299-4002 or mail to AALI, 1025 Concord Ave., Columbus, Ohio 43212. EOE

MALE CAREGIVER Dublin professional to hire PT. Short AM hours. No experience necessary, training provided.

614-296-4207.

LOOKING FOR experienced WordPress developer to provide support for amazing new product. Flexible hours. Great pay.

Send email to scott@theme.co

BONJOUR OSU! La Chatelaine French Bakery & Bistro Restaurants are now hiring morning A.M. Counter Help (7 a.m. to 3 p.m.)and Dinner Servers (4 p.m. to 10 p.m.)

We are looking for enthusiastic, personable, reliable & happy individuals who have strong work ethics & some serving experience. We are a family-owned business with 3 locations around Columbus. Long term employment preferred. Please visit one of our locations for a application & introduce yourself to the manager on duty.

Upper Arlington 1550 W. Lane Avenue Worthington 627 High Street Dublin 65 W. Bridge Street Merci!

NATIONAL AFFORDABLE Housing Trust (NAHT) is a non-profit organization dedicated to the creation and preservation of quality affordable housing throughout the United States. NAHT is currently seeking a highly motivated intern for its Columbus, Ohio office. Duties include general office work, monitoring the development of assets, reviewing real estate financial and operational data, conducting research and organizing data including database entry work, assisting the Asset Managers with portfolio reporting, and various other projects as needed.

Related experience with affordable housing is preferred; the ideal candidate has coursework in Real Estate, Finance, Accounting or related field. Knowledge of Microsoft Office required and strong verbal and written communication skills a must. This is a paid internship and hours are flexible with a minimum of 20 hours per week with possibility of full time during breaks. Interested candidates should email resume to humanresources@naht.org.

PART TIME Call Center in the Short North $10 / Hour plus bonus. 614-495-1410.

SIGN SPINNERS

$10-$12/hour Training provided P/T work based on school COLUMBUS NONPROFIT has schedule immediate opening for p.t. instructor for 6th grade, career Apply online exploration & life skills after www.SpinCols.com school program. Program hours: Mon-Thur, 2-6pm, Jan-May. Must possess creativity, pa- STUDENTPAYOUTS.COM Paid tience & ability to work indepen- Survey Takers needed in Columdently. Bachelor’s in related area bus. 100% free to join. Click on & experience in youth services surveys. required. Reliable transportation SUMMER IN MAINE needed. $15/hr, 20 hrs/wk. Send Males and females. cover letter & resume to: pjenMeet new friends! Travel! nings@enterpriseworks.biz Teach your favorite activity.

EVENT SPECIALIST Conduct in-store demonstrations to generate excitement and brand awareness, through events and promotions. Weekends. Email Melissa.I.Simpson@asmnet. com or call 760-2743-2977.

HAVE THE summer of your life at a prestigious coed sleepaway camp in the beautiful Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania, 2 ½ hours from NYC. We’re seeking counselors who can teach any Team & Individual Sports, Tennis, Gymnastics, Horseback Riding, Mt. Biking, Skate Park, Theatre, Tech Theatre, Circus, Magic, Arts & Crafts, Pioneering, Climbing Tower, Water Sports, Music, Dance or Science. Great salaries and perks.

Plenty of free time. Internships available for many majors. Interviews on Jan 24. Apply online at www.islandlake.com.

Call 800-869-6083 between 9 and 5 eastern time on weekdays for more information. info@islandlake.com.

Tennis, Swim, Canoe, Sail, Waterski, Kayak, Gymnastics, Archery, Silver Jewelry, Rocks, English Riding, Ropes, Copper Enameling, Art, Basketball, Pottery, Field Hockey, Office, Softball, Photo, Newsletter, Soccer, Lacrosse, Dance, Theater Costumer June to August. Residential.

Enjoy our website.

Apply online!

Tripp Lake Camp for Girls: 1-800-997-4347 www.tripplakecamp.com

Help Wanted Restaurant/ Food Service

MOZART’S CAFE - Looking for part- time/full-time reliable counter help, server help, kitchen help, pastry chef. 4784 N. High Street. Email resume to info@mozartscafe.com

SERVING POSITIONS available at Figlio Wood Fired Pizza, a casual, upscale gourmet pizza and pasta restaurant close to campus with locations in Grandview and Arlington. Meet new friends while working with fun, attractive staff. Part time. Flexible schedule. WILL TRAIN the right position. (Also hiring bus persons and cooks). Apply in person at 1369 Grandview Ave or 3712 Riverside Dr.

TELEPHONE INTERVIEWERS wanted immediately to conduct interviews for research firm. No experience necessary.

Great part-time job for students.

Evening and daytime shifts available. Apply in person at: Strategic Research Group, 995 APPOINTMENT SETTER is Goodale Blvd., 2nd floor. responsible for generating TELEPHONE SALES. Flexible appointments for Sears customers who have previously exhrs. Downtown. 614-458-1875. pressed intrest in a free in-home Call 8:30 to 3. remodel estimate.

PT AM/ PM shifts available. Apply onHOUSE CLEANING position. line www.jobs.sears.com. Key Must be detail oriented, and word: appointment setters. Call reliable. Must have car, license 1-800-642-2080 AA/EOE Backand car ins. $10-12/hr, gas ground/Drug Test required. reimbursement.

Background check. Call Inga 614-327-1235 EARN CASH by ordering shirts leave msg or email for your chapter with College Hill.

CARE AFTER School hhhclean.schedules@gmail.

Worthington NOW HIRING Rec- Become a campus Rep today! com Contact Ryan at 425-478-7439 reation Leaders IMPORTANT TOBACCO Smoke M-F 2-6. $10.50/hr. Gain great experience working with EleStudy (Battelle-Columbus) Opportunity to Participate in Im- mentary students.

Interviewing now. Please downportant Tobacco Smoke Study load application at Earn $$$ for your participation Battelle is conducting a study www.careafterschool.com and to measure exposure to to- Call 431-2266 ext.222. bacco smoke from menthol and non-menthol cigarettes.

Participation involves two visits CHILDREN AND Adults with to Battelle’s smoking laboratory Disabilities In Need of Help (at 505 King Ave., Columbus).

If you are a regular smoker of Care Providers and ABA Therapists are wanted to work with cigarettes, YOU can help!!

Please call 614-424-3386 to children/ young adults with disabilities in a family home setsee if you qualify for participating or supported living setting. tion in this study.

Extensive training is provided.

Participants will be compensated This job is meaningful, allows you to learn intensively and can for their time and effort. accommodate your class sched•Location: Battelle-Columbus •Compensation: Participants will ule. Those in all related fields, be compensated for their time with ABA interest, or who have a heart for these missions please and effort.

•Principals only. Recruiters, apply. Competitive wages and please don’t contact this job benefits. For more information, call L.I.F.E Inc. at (614) poster.

•Do NOT contact us with unso- 475-5305 or visit us at www.

LIFE-INC.NET licited services or offers.

Help Wanted Sales/Marketing

Help Wanted Child Care

Call

292-2031 to place your ad or do it online at

the lantern .com

For Sale Bicycles BUY/SELL USED 937-726-4583

General Services 614 - 440 - 7416.

WRAPPING GIFTS. SEWING BUTTONS. WRITING BIOGRAPHIES. COPIES. Pricing negotiable.

Cash only.

Automotive Services

TOM & Jerry’s - a Full Service Auto Repair Shop. 1701 Kenny Rd. 488-8507. Take $20 off any purchase of $100 or more. Or visit: www.tomandjerrysauto.com

Resumé Services 614 - 440 - 7416.

EMERGENCY OVERNIGHT!!!

RESUMES BY MORNING!!!

LAST MINUTE!!!

Pricing negotiable.

Cash only.

Typing Services

614 - 440 - 7416.

EMERGENCY OVERNIGHT!!!

Bikes TYPING BY MORNING!!!

LAST MINUTE!!!

Pricing negotiable.

Cash only.

For Sale Miscellaneous BOOKS: A wilderness may be prowled by creatures of the forest. Or it may be urban, highly cultured, and just as deadly.

WILDERNESS, a science fiction novel, is by Alan Kovski. Available via Amazon.com

Tutoring Services 614 - 440 - 7416.

SPELLING TUTOR. HANDWRITING COACH. PUNCTUATION ADVICE. CAPITALIZATION. RUN-ON SENTENCES. Pricing negotiable.

Cash only.

BOOKS: AFTER global catastrophe, how will we rebuild our world? What vision will we follow? And who will corrupt it?

‘Wilderness,’ a science fiction novel, is by Alan Kovski. Avail- STAGGERING STUDENT loan able via Amazon.com debt for the next 10 years? Or graduating debt-free?

Duh, BOOKS: CHANGES may be which would you choose? http://www.Eva33.com genetically engineered, outside us or inside us, with or without 310-221-0210 our consent. WONDERS AND WANTED: 30 Students To Drink TRAGEDIES, a science fiction Insanely Healthy Energy Drink novel, is by Alan Kovski. Avail- And Secure Your Financial Fuable via Amazon.com ture. http://www.ptenergynow. com Email: studentohiostate@ BOOKS: THE future may be gmail.com beautiful, terrible, bewildering.

People will have to deal with it somehow. REMEMBERING THE FUTURE: science fiction stories by Alan Kovski. Available via Amazon.com

Business Opportunities

General Miscellaneous

For Sale Real Estate

614 - 440 - 7416.

TYPING. MANUSCRIPTS. BOOKS. LEGAL DOCUMENTS. DISSERTATIONS. THESES. Pricing negotiable.

Cash only.

CLINTONVILLE. 3036 Dorris Avenue. Well maintained 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath condo. $98,900.

Contact Cathy Royster (Coldwell Banker King Thompson) at 614-678-0615 or visit CBKT website for additional informa- 614 - 440 - 7416. tion and photos.

TYPING. MANUSCRIPTS. BOOKS. LEGAL DOCUMENTS. DISSERTATIONS. THESES. Pricing negotiable.

Cash only.

Announcements/ Notice

Travel/ Vacation

BAHAMAS SPRING Break $189 for 5 days. All prices include : Round-trip luxury party cruise. Accommodations on the island at your choice of thirteen resorts. Appalachia Travel. www.

BahamaSun.com 800-867-5018

Personals SUMATCH.COM Dating For college students & singles Thousands to choose from! http://www.sumatch. com/?enter=1

Real Estate Advertisements - Equal Housing Opportunity The Federal Fair Housing Act makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitation, or discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or intention to make any such preference, limitation, or discrimination.” State law may also forbid discrimination based on these factors and others. We will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law. All persons are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development at 800-669-9777.

Call 292-2031 to place your ad or do it online at thelantern.com - Terms of service available at thelantern.com/terms

HOROSCOPES

By Nancy Black Tribune Content Agency

Today’s Birthday (01/16/14). Career and financial gain comes naturally this year, as you discover experimental, creative and innovative solutions. Social fun heats up into February, when reinvention sparks with spiritual and philosophical inquiry.

Romance flavors spring and summer. Increase fitness and health. Your financial advice helps a partner in mutually beneficial ways. Repay, refinance and reinvest for resilience. Choose love.

To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging.

Aries (March 21-April 19) -- Today is a 5 -- Take care with changes of routine. Still, what would you do if you knew failure was impossible? Romantic challenges are all worth it.

Love’s a comfort when money’s tight (and more fun when it’s not).

Gemini (May 21-June 20) -- Today is a 5 -- Save out enough for expenses. You’ll concentrate well today and tomorrow. Passions flare and then fizzle. The possibility of error is high now. Be fair to avoid jealousies. Things are starting to make sense. Take it easy.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) -- Today is a 7 -- Patience usually wins. Career matters demand your attention today and tomorrow. A new phase dawns in your professional confidence. Postpone an outing. Save caustic comments until later. Watch expenses. You achieve a new balance.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) -- Today is a 6 -- Discover a useful time management tool and use it. Household finances take priority. Get supplies and groceries. A Full Moon turning point arrives in a relationship. Hold your temper and work things out. Don’t travel far.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) -- Today is a 6 -- Follow emotions, as well as intellect. Don’t travel quite yet. This Full Moon brings a new phase in your education; consider attending a seminar or workshop over the next two days. Passion guides your decisions.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) -- Today is a 5 -- Assert your desires over the next two days. A new phase begins with this Full Moon in your sign. Saving gets easier. Offer love and support when spending time with friends. Your power is increasing.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) -- Today is a 5 -- Do more research before advancing. Opposites attract even more so now.

Haste makes waste. This Full Moon in Leo brings a turning point in your savings and values. Get practical today and tomorrow. Postpone an outing.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) -- Today is a 6 -- A Full Moon turning point arises regarding institutions, spirituality and magic.

You’re extra intuitive today and tomorrow. Postpone a romantic rendezvous or creative endeavor. Clarify your direction with friends. A new opportunity gets you thinking.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) -- Today is a 5 -- Postpone gratification. Your partner wants your time, not your money. Everybody’s more willing to compromise for the next few days. This Full Moon brings a turning point regarding your self-image. Try on another’s view.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) -- Today is a 6 -- In case of conflict between home and career, family comes first today and Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) -- Today is a 6 -- Cooperation tomorrow. Don’t gamble now. Wait for later on a project, and comes easily today and tomorrow. Rally the team. Inject pasavoid arguments about money. Authorize improvements. You’re sion into the moment. This Full Moon opens a financial turning gaining respect. Get domestic. point. There’s a new opportunity for profit. Avoid distractions and stay in action. Stay flexible.

MORE ON OUR WEBSITE

www.thelantern.com Thursday January 16, 2014

Follow Us

@TheLantern

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) -- Today is a 6 -- Focus on work today and tomorrow. Solve a problem. The Leo Full Moon brings a shift in priorities. Check carefully for plan changes. The workload is getting intense. Stand up for what’s right. You’re extra attractive now.

JOIN OUR MAILING LIST

www.thelantern.com/email 5B

[ spotlight] OPINION

Unending award shows, Bieber’s egg-sistence make headlines

the dim bulb

RITIKA SHAH / Asst. photo editor

The Ohio State Columbus campus became tobacco free Jan. 1.

SATIRE

Courtesy of MCT

Bono, The Edge and Adam Clayton arrive at the Weinstein Company & Netflix 2014 Golden Globes After Party in Los Angeles Jan. 12.

DANIELLE SEAMON Arts editor seamon.17@osu.edu This is part of a weekly series called “Pop Opinions” where The Lantern offers its take on the week’s pop culture news.

Award shows need abbreviating Award shows are a logistical nightmare.

The Washington Post has statistics to back this up, too.

The Post’s Caitlin Dewey calculated that the time award winners took to simply walk to the stage made up 10 percent of the Golden Globes broadcast.

Jacqueline Bisset, who won Best Supporting Actress in a series, miniseries or TV movie for her performance in “Dancing on the Edge,” was the queen of the slowpokes, spending 66 seconds swapping spit with everyone at her table, trying to put on her best surprise face, applying another round of deodorant to her pits, catching up on her games of Words with Friends, loading the Internet on dial-up and preparing a bowl of Easy Mac before finally getting her bum on stage.

Amy Adams, who won Best Actress in a motion picture: musical or comedy for her performance in “American Hustle,” was practically Usain Bolt with a record time of 11 seconds spent to get to the stage.

Theoretically, award shows need only a 15-minute timeslot on basic cable television. By following this five-step plan, Americans nationwide can get their fix of celebrity idolatry while also being able to go back to watching football and eating buffalo chicken dip in a timely manner: - Pre-show is two minutes long, featuring Joan Rivers spitting nearly offensive, not-that-funny jokes about Sofia Vergara’s cleavage.

- Tina Fey and Amy Poehler do a six-minute long standup routine to open the show, focusing on how stupid and overrated Bono is wearing his dumb, red-tinted sunglasses.

- One minute is used for a moment of silence, dedicated to figuring out why Bono is even at this award show.

Courtesy of MCT

Justin Bieber attends the premiere of Open Road Films’ ‘Justin Bieber’s Believe’ in Los Angeles Dec. 18.

- Awards are presented in a four-minute PowerPoint presentation. Trophies are shot out to the audience in T-shirt cannons.

- Bono takes credit for tearing down the Berlin Wall in the last two minutes. His sunglasses are now tinted green.

Show’s over, and people can now go back to making grilled pizzas or whatever you do when award shows are not on.

Eggs-citing Justin Bieber news Of all the egg-citing news egg-spierenced by Hollywood this past week, one story egg-sists that is causing some heads to scramble: Justin Bieber allegedly did something wrong.

Justin Bieber? You mean Saint Justin? The one who granted his 200th wish for the Make-A-Wish foundation in August? Benevolent Bieber?

Investigators from the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department showed up at Bieber’s front door Tuesday morning with a search warrant. The deputies weren’t yolkin’ around — they were trying to crack down on a report of eggs being thrown at a neighbor’s home Thursday night.

Although Bieber’s temper is known to be hard and sometimes boiling, he allegedly cooperated with the officials.

However, Lil Za, Bieber’s friend who was hangin’ with Justin in his domain at the time of the search, was a lil less than egg-static when he was arrested for what was initially believed to be cocaine, but could be Ecstasy and Xanax. Either way, it was white, and Lil Za, whose real name is Xavier Dominique Smith, was not going to egg-scape without handcuffs.

Pop Opinions is happy to announce we beat TMZ with more egg puns in the reporting of this story.

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The Ohio Stater STUDENT HOUSING

More butts please: OSU officially becomes a ‘Free Tobacco’ campus CORY FRAME Lantern reporter frame.28@osu.edu In light of recent policy change, Ohio State has officially become the first-ever “free tobacco” campus in U.S. history.

The non-smoking ban, which took effect last week, not only offers free cigarettes to all students and faculty but also requires them to be smoking these products the entire time they are on campus.

University spokesman Lary Grewis recently spoke with The Dim Bulb about what students can expect now that OSU is a free tobacco campus.

“We request that all faculty, students, staff, fans, patients, visitors and contractors use tobacco products while on campus, inside and out,” Grewis said, while lighting up a Middleton’s Black & Mild. “See, this cigar was free!

“With our free tobacco policy, we understand that it may become quite expensive to smoke every time you visit campus, that is why we are just giving out tobacco products to everyone, free of charge.”

Grewis continued on to say the free tobacco policy is not just specific to cigarette smokers, but all tobacco users alike.

“We will have dispensaries set up all over campus dishing out free cigs, cigars, dip, chew, snus and even pipe tobacco for the hipsters.”

While the new policy is very specific about when and where campus-goers are expected to use tobacco, it does not say whether or not children under the age of 18 are exempt from this new rule.

“There will be no police enforcement of

the Ohio State campus non-smoking ban, but I believe peer pressure will be enough to make people want to smoke,” Grewis said.

“If you’re not smoking and everybody else is, you’re not going to feel cool. It’s as easy as that.”

While some might be shocked at the thought of campus-financed tobacco, OSU Interim President Johnny Plutto supports the new policy.

“If you planned on quitting smoking, now is the time to stop those thoughts immediately,” Plutto said. “Besides, I heard it’s really hard to anyway.”

Since the ban, OSU has spent roughly half of its $100,000 signage budget to make sure when visitors come to campus, they remember to light up their smokies.

Some of the signs that can be seen around campus or in front of the Ohio Union have slogans such a “Make sure you burn while you learn!” and “Smoke, dip and spit — just as long as you don’t quit!”

While this might seem like a radical transformation for some, Grewis hinted at even more changes to come.

“After we adjust to the free tobacco policy, we’re working on making it so only bicycle riders and skateboarders can use the Oval walkways. Also, we’re taking the seats out of the CABS buses, to promote more exercise.

Big things to come!”

At press time, 98 percent of the smoke alarms on campus had already gone off.

This is part of a series called “The Dim Bulb.” It is a weekly dose of satire, intended to poke fun at the university and affiliates. The contents of these articles are not factual and are not meant to be taken seriously.

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