Dear Younger Self

Dear Younger Self

It almost feels like yesterday when I was sitting in the backseat of my parents’ car on the five-hour ride to Syracuse University for freshman move-in day. The rest stops were few and painfully far between and, thinking back, I’m even more appreciative (and wistful) of the resilience of my younger bladder. More than 35 years and two kids later … well, enough said. But there is so much more I wish my younger self valued and, although I try to share this wisdom with my own kids, I figure I have a better audience with young people who don’t associate me with one of those anxious, over the top mom types who are featured in hourly (or more like nano-second-ly) Tik Tok videos. I hate to admit it, especially in writing, that I find these videos absolutely hilarious, if not disturbingly accurate. Sigh. So what would I tell my younger self? Granted it’s nothing earth-shattering or life-changing, but here are some simple learnings that hopefully will make a positive difference.

Majors – are a major PIA. No one at age 18 is going to know what they want to do for work in the future. Plus, consider the fact that by the time you graduate, there will be new jobs that don’t even exist today. So how do you plan for that? Simple. Study what interests you and learn as much as you can about different topics. The purpose of going to college is to get exposure to different things, perspectives, and experiences. Take advantage of that. After your first job, employers most likely won’t pay as much attention to your major because experience will play a bigger role. Stop wasting your time comparing yourself or envying others. Appreciate you. What a boring world this would be if everyone was the same. You bring something unique to the table. Embrace it. I honestly believe things have a way of working out. Whether it’s a bad grade, rejection, a layoff, or a health challenge, repeat one of my favorite quotes from John Lennon: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Don’t expect to meet your long-term partner in college. I blame movies and books that create this unrealistic expectation. In fact, don’t define “love” based on the movies or shows you watch or the books you read (I admit, I was sadly influenced by the story of Cinderella). It’s

not about feeling butterflies in your stomach as you wait and pray for that person to text, which by the way is all caused by anxiety and insecurity. The person should call and text and want to be with you. It should be that easy. And no, that doesn’t make it boring or mean. It also doesn’t mean that something is wrong with the person for liking you so quickly. You need to be able to connect intellectually – beyond a physical attraction – and talk and laugh together and just feel comfortable with one another. Opposites may attract initially because the differences are exciting but having more in common with each other results in a deeper connection. Be responsive. And if your brain read that as “be responsible,” then be that too! In one of my earlier jobs, our slogan was “back to you in under two,” meaning two hours. That applied not only to our external customers but also to our internal customers – our colleagues. This can apply to your professors and classmates, too. Nothing is more refreshing and valued than a person who is responsive. And if you don’t have the information or answer that someone requests, simply let them know you haven’t forgotten about them and provide an ETA for providing it. It’s all about communication. And trust me, people will notice and reward you for this. It’s easy to misinterpret excitement as anxiety since our bodies react to both feelings in similar ways. Whether you have a presentation to give, an interview, or a difficult conversation, one trick to remember to help alleviate a shaky voice is to take in a deep breath and as you breathe out, hum. Repeat this several times. I still do this today and you can catch me humming before an important call or as I’m walking into a meeting with a client. A good handshake with eye contact makes a lasting impression. Practice it – seriously! I’ll always be grateful to my dad who taught me.

Always remember that only you control your happiness. Regardless of how others treat you or speak to you, only you have control over how you react or respond. Say it Michelle Obama – “when they go low, we go high!” Be proud to put your name on your work. Don’t do things half-ass. Everything you do, and how you present yourself, is a reflection of you. I still cringe when I think about a yearbook “article” I wrote back in college when I was trying to be involved and build my resume. I overextended myself by volunteering my time as a writer and did a very lame job on the article in a rush to complete it. Luckily my last name has changed since then!

To quote my friend, Maryann, a happy life is a HEALTHY life. Simply put. No matter what job you have, where you live, which car you drive, or how much money you have saved, good health is the key to a happy and fulfilling life. Eat right, stay active, and do your annual health checkups. (Cue the sound of moms cheering and clapping.) And finally. Just breathe. Be present. Notice and be thankful for something every day – your health, your family, your friends, your experiences, the sunset, being able to see the sunset. As COVID taught us, there is more to life than just school or work. It’s all about balance and enjoying your time on this planet.

MEET THE AUTHOR

Lisa majored in Advertising at Syracuse University with the dream of working at an ad agency as a copywriter for The Limited or Coca-Cola (Diet Coke, to be exact). Upon graduating, she regrettably turned down a secretarial job at an agency, dutifully following the warning of a professor who claimed: “once a secretary, always a secretary.” And after discovering that many local agencies had far less glamorous companies as clients, well, she eventually entered the workforce in market research.

Lisa later spent several years managing an in-house ad agency at a trade association, then ended up in sales in the financial industry. Her biggest achievement, however, is being a mom to three amazing people! As an official victim of the mid-life crisis, Lisa is starting to reclaim her creative side by pursuing new passions like golfing, pottery, and writing.

Late-Night Library Review is a literary journal that is founded, edited, and designed by Brooke Lathe and Jackie Campbell, who are both curently junior English students at Fairfield University. We got the idea to create The Late-Night Library Review for our “World of Publishing” final course project as we have been learning about different forms of publication and wanted to try our own hand at it. We are excited to have immersed ourselves in editing, designing, printing, and distribution.