DELUXE & Q UBES

”Big Breaths…” ”They used to be.” Breast wishes for a Happy Birthday.—Dare to Laugh™

”The vet said it’ll stop him from scratching himself, so I got one for Brian too.” I couldn’t resist wishing you a Happy Birthday.—Dare to Laugh™

”This is heaven--no gravity!” Have an uplifting birthday. —Dare

”Your husband…must relieve his stress, which means sex…and other forms of pampering …Hope your birthday is to die for…—Dare to Laugh™

“I never said all that shit” (Confucius) “The person holding this card is Totally Awesome.” (That one sounds legit…) Happy Birthday!—Ephemera, Inc.

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Schitt Family Tree Chicken Schitt Pisa Schitt Bull Schitt Dip Schitt… Happy Birthday You Old Schitt! —Dare to Laugh™

The Ass Family Tree… Candy Ass Sorry Ass Wise Ass Fat Ass… Hope your birthday is all it’s cracked up to be.—Dare to Laugh™

“Instead of worrying…” live your life so that every morning…the devil… says… “Oh CRAP! She’s awake!!!” Happy Birthday—Maggie Mae Sharp FS

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“It’s true, we are good at multitasking!” Yep, we can sneeze, laugh, cough and pee, all at the same time! Happy Birthday—Maggie Mae Sharp FS

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Your Special Bedtime Birthday Story: A long, long time ago…you were born… and now you’re old. The End. Happy Birthday—Maggie Mae Sharp GL DC

Another year older?

Don’t worry, age is irrelephant. Happy Birthday —Pigment Productions Ltd FS

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BDT32716 Another beer older?

Cheers to You on Your Birthday!

—John Lund SV $3.79

BDT32721 Midlife Yoga Poses: I dropped my keys and can’t get up… I peed a little… Hope this year shapes up to be your best! Happy Birthday—Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32717 Passing gas isn’t necessarily a sign of old age… but throwing out your back while passing gas is. Happy Birthday, you old fart!—Mike Scovel $3.79

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—Mike Scovel $3.79

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“It’s a little early in the day to wear your ‘do me’ vest, don’t you think?” Do have a happy birthday!—Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32722 “I’m looking for wine that goes well with more wine.” Hope your birthday goes well! —Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32723 “I’m 82 and… full of aches and pains.” “…I’m 85 and feel like a newborn baby.”… No teeth, no hair and I just wet my pants. Happy Birthday…—Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

In honor of your birthday, I thought I’d make a toast… unless you’d rather I made you a pie! Happy Birthday—Margaret Sherry CLASSIC

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Old enough to know better, young enough to NOT give a crap. You’re at that perfect age. Happy Birthday—Dare to Laugh™

BDT32860 …Woman enjoys large stiff one Alcohol won’t make us any younger… but there’s no harm trying!… Happy Birthday—Pigment Productions Ltd $3.79

BDT32864 Forecast for your birthday: Alcohol, Low Standards, and Poor Decisions Forecasting a fun birthday ahead! —Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32875 “Do you prefer boxers or briefs?” “Depends.” Hap-pee Birthday —SuperStock, Inc. $3.79

BDT32971 I had to actually… leave the house, and talk to people to get you this card. I actually like you that much! Happy Birthday—Angi Sullins & Silas Toball GL $3.95

Take aging with a grain of salt And mix it with tequila and lime! Happy Birthday —Cindy Ann Ganaden GL TH

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“…thinking about the ‘hereafter’” …every time we walk into a room, we ask …“What the heck are we here after?” Happy Birthday—Maggie Mae Sharp FS gee·zer \‘ge-zer\ noun [slang] Not young. Not dead. Somewhere in between. Happy Birthday —Maggie Mae Sharp DC

BDT32861 Everyone gets to be young once… Your turn is over! Happy Birthday —Pigment Productions Ltd FS $3.95

BDT32865 Birthday Golfing Tips… Use your wood often! Grip the shaft firmly! …And don’t forget to wash your balls! Happy Birthday—Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32862 Bumper Stickers For Seniors… All signs point to a Happy Birthday!

—Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32867 Anyone can send you flowers on your birthday… But a REAL friend will score you a little weed. —Angi Sullins & Silas Toball $3.79

BDT32863 “These things are weird… they can stay in one spot for hours without moving” Hang out and enjoy your birthday! Happy Birthday—Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32877 “How much is the rent for the gorgeous apartment?” “Madam, this is a liquor store.” Hope this birthday finds you in your happy place!—Aunty Acid™ $3.79

BDT32880 “If only” Long story short: Happy Birthday! —Dare to Laugh™ $3.79

BDT32869 I got you this card because I know how much you like cats. Happy Birthday—Masterfile $3.79

BDT32972 Party Animal Start of the night End of the night It’s your birthday! Have all the happy you can handle. —Pigment Productions Ltd $3.79

BDT32973 …your birthday! I’m celebrating with a… mocha vodka marijuana latte! I hope you love your birthday as much as I…—Angi Sullins & Silas Toball GL $3.95

BDT32970 You’re at that age where an ‘an all nighter’ means… managing to go all night without having to get up and pee! Happy Birthday—Pigment Productions Ltd $3.79

BDT32974 You may not be extinct… But you’re definitely endangered! Happy Birthday—Ted Foulkes $3.79

BDT32976 I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. …before I forget – I hope you have a very happy… oh crap!—Aunty Acid™ $3.79

BDT32977 If I’ve learned anything in my 22 years on earth it’s that it’s ok to lie about your age Happy Birthday

BDT32978 3 out of 4 cats are excited it’s your birthday This is what the 4th one thinks. Happy Birthday!

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BDT32980 RIP Your Youth Too Soon? Happy Birthday

Productions Ltd $3.79

BDT55526 Now you only look half as old. Happy Birthday

BDT82356 Top 10 Fears of Growing Old: …1. Not knowing why you got a birthday card. Happy Birthday —G & C Studio $3.95

BDT82360 “Leon? Is that you? Why, I haven’t seen you since you were this tall!”

I have a hunch it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT32981 How to find out if you’re old: Fall Down… If people laugh, you’re young… Hope your birthday is full of all the fun you can stand!—Pigment Productions Ltd TH $3.95 do not make one old… It’s the other 364 days that do it. Happy

BDT48691 You’re how old?!? S#*T!

BDT55812 You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy bacon, and that’s pretty close. Hope your birthday sizzles! —Dare to Laugh™ $3.29

BDT82357 If you try to correct my grammar, I will think fewer of you Wishing you a more gooder birthday and a funner year ahead!—Ephemera, Inc. $3.95

BDT82361 You may be getting older, but you’ve got the body of an 18-year-old… dog! Happy Birthday!

—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

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BDT82354 The DNA results are back turns out you’re 100% awesome! Happy Birthday —Pigment

BDT82355 Not to brag, but I remembered why I went into the other room Wishing you a celebration worth remembering! Happy Birthday—Ephemera, Inc. $3.95

BDT82358 “Do you want… ‘I love everybody’ or ‘whoa, look at my paw’?” “The paw one.” Wishing you high times on your birthday!—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82359 “You mean…” “Yes. Your entire species is dyslexic.” Have a Happy Birthday for Dog’s Sake! —Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82362 “My memory is so bad.”

“How bad is it?” “How bad is what?”

Don’t forget to have a Happy Birthday!

—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82363 You’re at the age where the spring in your step… has been replaced by the creak in your back! Happy Birthday

—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82364 I’m having salad for dinner. Fruit salad. Well, all grapes. Like, wine grapes. Okay, I’m having wine for dinner. Cheers to a Happy Birthday!—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82365 The Old Little Engine I think I did, I think I did… Didn’t I? Wishing you a birthday to remember!

—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82366 “When I die, I’ll be cremated.” “I’ll be buried.” “I drank so much wine, I’ll be bottled!” I’ll be damned, you’re another year older! Happy Birthday!—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82367 Holy… Crap! Another one? Happy Birthday

—G & C Studio $3.95

BDT82368 Someday our prince will come… And we shall call him “Bartender.” Cheers to You on Your Birthday!

—Debbie Tomassi FS $3.95

BDT82369 Happy Birthday to you, Happy… eh… and so forth… and so on. You know how it goes. —G & C Studio $3.95

BDT82370 Welcome to Middle Age Your childhood toys are now considered collectible antiques You’re not old – you’re vintage! Happy Birthday—Ephemera, Inc. $3.95

BDT82371 …eight glasses of water…seems daunting, but eight glasses of wine seems… manageable! Raising a glass (or 8)… on your birthday!—Pigment Productions $3.95

BDT82372 “Other way around, Jeffrey” There’s no other way to say it… Happy Birthday —Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82376 When you reach the age that 9 out of 10 doctors say slow down… Party with the 10th! Happy Birthday —G & C Studio $3.95

BDT82373 Whatdya mean “share my cake”? Your day. Your rules. Happy Birthday—Pigment Productions $3.95

BDT82374 Sometimes I talk to myself and then both of us just laugh and laugh! Happy Birthday from all of us: Me, myself, and I! Happy Birthday—Mike Scovel $3.95

BDT82375 A little bird told me you’re another year older And I was all like “Holy S*?T! A talking bird!” … “Holy S*?T! you’re OLD” Happy Birthday—Pigment Productions TH $3.95

BDT82508 I don’t have a Bucket List, but my Phucket List is a mile long. Happy Phucken’ Birthday! —Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82509 “What do you plan on growing this year?” “Older and Crankier.” Smile and have a Happy Birthday!—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82510 “I taught the dog to shake today.” Cheers to a Happy Birthday!

—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82511 “Uh, Gary… That’s not how we introduce ourselves in this class.” Time to face another birthday! Happy Birthday—Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82512 “You’re such a tease!… Keep going, I wanna see your nipples, too!” Tit’s your birthday! Happy Birthday —Dare to Laugh™ $3.95

BDT82513 Can you find the little dog in this drawing? Older folks love games like this. Happy Birthday!

—G & C Studio $3.95

BDT82514 Getting older is a pain in the: Neck Shoulder Elbow Hip Lower Back Butt Knee X All of the above Happy Birthday—G & C Studio TH $3.95