ISSUE 18 The Local Malibu John Densmore by The Local Malibu

THE DOORS

JOHN

DENSMORE MALIBU ROOTS

90265 FROM THE CREATORS OF

M A G A Z I N E

CARBON CANYON Magnificent Malibu custom-designed estate with stunning mountain and ocean views from Santa Monica to Point Dume. Reminiscent of a romantic European villa, the three-level, six bedroom/nine bath family home features 12’ ceilings, recycled Bavarian walnut floors and walls of glass that open to bring the outdoors, inside. Perfect for entertaining, the home boasts spacious living and formal dining room; office/library; professional chef’s kitchen with custom floor to ceiling glass refrigerator; family room with breakfast area and pocket doors that open to a charming indoor/outdoor sitting area with fireplace; enormous owner’s suite with fireplace, office area and large terrace; two spa bathrooms with his and her oversized custom closets; bar/billiards sports room; state of the art screening room; recording studio; exercise/massage/sauna rooms; plus five en-suite bedrooms; infinity pool with numerous outdoor sitting areas; orchards of citrus and avocado trees and three-car garage.

$ 23,500,000

THE VERY BEST IN LUXURY LIVING.

CHRIS CORTAZZO MALIBU’S #1 AGENT 2000-2014 CalBRE# 01190363 29178 Heathercliff Rd. Malibu, CA. 90265 310.589.2472

chriscortazzo.com

“MALIBU’S MUST READ PREMIUM NEWSPRINT PUBLICATION”

Founder, Editor in Chief

CECE S. WOODS

FROM THE CREATORS OF

Creative Director JIM JORDAN

Co-Founder STEVE WOODS Executive Editors STEVE WOODS LINDA ATKINSON KYM GOLD RON BERKES

OLIVIA SMITH

Editor at Large TRACEY ROSS

Fashion Editor

CHRISTY CALAFATI

CURATORS OF COASTAL CUTURE

EDITOR’S

NOTES

Man About Town

MARLON YOUNG

ISSUE 18 SEPTEMBER 2015

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Facebook.com/ thelocalmalibu

HASHTAGS: #curatorsofcoastalculture #malibu #90265 FOR ADVERTISING: thelocalmalibu@gmail.com COVER PHOTO of JOHN DENSMORE BY DAN AMEZCUA @danamezcua danielamezcua.com

Contributing Photographers

IZZY CHAVIRA

issuu.com/thelocalmalibu

CLAUDIA TAYLOR ROB TAYLOR DAVID STANSFIELD DIANA NICHOLSON AUDREY RUTH CAROL HOYT BRIAN TIELEMAN RANDY OLSON DANIEL BRALVER LORY MAYOTTE LIZA UTTER JEN BEL GUS JOHANSON ANNEMARIE STEIN KIM LEDOUX RAMSEY MATTHEWS

Intern

ISSUU

Deputy Editors

TIM HORTON NICK CALAFATI JEN BEL EMILY SCHER GOODMAN DIANNE SCHALLERT BRIAN O’DELL

M A G A Z I N E

Publishers

KYM GOLD RON BERKES ADDISON ALTENDORF Dir. of PR and Marketing

90265

Please take a minute to stop and walk through the American flags at Pepperdine . For Americans who value western culture and democracy, it is vitally important to never forget that each of 2,977 flags placed –2,887 American flags for each American life lost and 90 various international flags representing the home countries of those from abroad who died in the 9/11 attacks by those have declared war on innocent men women and children of free thinkers .

Photo by Tim Horton

Malibu Farm Restaurant & Bar

Located at the historic Malibu Pier M, TU: 9-3:30 | W, TH, SU: 9-8:30 | FR, SA: 9-9 DINNER RESERVATIONS START AT 4:30

NEWSWORTHY NEWS BLOTTER

SCE SPARKS LATIGO FIRE 97.5 KBU news reports on DETAILS ON WHAT CAUSED THAT BRUSHFIRE … AND THAT HUGE FIRE DEPARTMENT RESPONSE UP LATIGO CANYON ROAD SEPT.. 9. LESS THAN AN ACRE OF BRUSH BURNED. SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA EDISON CREWS HAD BEEN WORKING ON A TRANSFORMER …. WHICH WAS MOUNTED ON A CONCRETE PAD. A CONNECTOR FAILED … AND SPARKS FLEW INTO NEARBY DRY BRUSH. THE INCIDENT BLACKED OUT ABOUT 650 CUSTOMERS FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS . INTERNET CONNECTIONS FOR CHARTER CABLE CUSTOMERS WERE OUT FOR LONGER … KILLING PHONE AND COMPUTER CONNECTIONS. THE REPAIR WORK BEING DONE WAS NOT PART OF THE MASSIVE POLE REPLACEMENT EFFORT … AN EDISON SPOKESMAN SAYS. THE POWER COMPANY’S TRUCKS CARRY WATER AND SHOVELS … FOR CREWS TO TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION IF A FIRE BREAKS OUT. SAYS COMPANY SPOKESMAN ROBERT LAFOON VILLEGAS; “SCE takes all reasonable fire mitigation efforts while performing work, including the suspension of all non-emergency work when “Red Flag” conditions exist. Our crews are trained and equipped to suppress incipient stage fires after calling 911. Once a fire grows beyond incipient stage, fire agency personnel and equipment are necessary to ensure public and employee safety.” THE FIRE WAS PUT OUT BY A MASSIVE AND EARLY RESPONSE BY THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. A CITY OF LOS ANGELES CHOPPER AND THE TWO SUPER SCOOPERS WERE BROUGHT IN QUICKLY. BUT IT TAKES ABOUT 20 MINUTES FOR THE FIRST FIRE TRUCK TO GET UP THE HILL. AND ALTHOUGH IT WAS HOT AND DRY … WINDS WERE NOT BLOWING VERY STRONGLY. THIS INCIDENT RAISES THE QUESTION … WHAT IS THE RISK FOR FIRES TO HAPPEN AS THE EDISON COMPANY STARTS REPLACING TWO THOUSAND POLES IN WESTERN LA COUNTY …. INCLUDING 900 IN MALIBU.

DROWNING in TRASH

BY STEVE WOODS

PHOTO BY STEVE WOODS

Along with increased commuter traffic and visitors to Malibu hiking trails, State Parks and County beaches, has come an unprecedented amount of trash being strewn along our coastline and roadways. The annual California Coastal Cleanup day could not come soon enough . Every year on the 3rd Saturday in September volunteers fan out and pick up after the slobs and low lifes that pollute our coastline. Last year nearly 67,000 volunteers removed more than 1,190,000 pounds of trash and recyclables from California waterways. The event is part of the International Coastal Cleanup, organized by the Ocean Conservancy, which is the largest volunteer event in the world. Please come out and help in any way you can . Santa Ana season is almost here, so before the winds come and the El Nino rains falls, lets pick up what we can before tons of trash are swept into the ocean.

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MALIBU COUNTRY MART MALIBU POINT DUME

MALIBU CROSS CREEK

CALABASAS

THOUSAND OAKS

NEWSWORTHY

DO NOT FEED the S H A R K S! BY STEVE WOODS

The recent shark incident involving a kayak fisherman off Deer Creek has surfers and divers wondering what is lurking below the surface and what provoked a 10-foot Hammerhead to take a taste test of the fisherman’s foot. Though the kayaker will not lose his foot, it turns out that the fisherman had his foot dangling over the side of his kayak 5 minutes after a curious Hammerhead circled to investigate the two fishermen’s bait and catch. The shark came back and saw an opportunity to snatch a quick snack.Hudgins said. “We didn’t see it for like five minutes and then all of a sudden he ( Dylan Marks ) had his foot over the side and he just got bit. And then he put his foot up on the kayak and he said, “Oh, dude. I just got bit!’” Not very smart considering the victim has had a history of catch and release shark fishing. With the warmer than usual currents off the coast many fishermen are eager to score a few yellowtail tuna, but the warm waters also have hammerheads following the warm water migration. Of the 9 species of hammerheads in the world only 3 are known to be aggressive towards humans and only when provoked. A new study in the journal Frontiers in Ecology and the Environment finds that California ocean goers are safer today than at any other time in the past six decades. Researchers from Stanford University analyzed data on great white shark attacks in California from 1950 to 2013 finding that, although the average number of attacks per year increased, a person’s individual risk dropped over 91 percent. But how can that be? It’s simple: population growth. More bodies in the water equal more shark bites. In coastal California the human population tripled between the 1950s and 2013, from 7 million to 21 million. Ocean activities increased at an even faster rate. By 2013, the state had 125 times more surfers and 204 times more scuba divers. Malibu’s last fatal shark attack occurred in 1989 off Big Dume .Two 24 year old Malibu residents had been kayaking but failed to return to shore. Their kayaks were spotted days later about five miles off Point Mugu. The kayaks had been lashed together, a common practice when kayakers stop to rest or swim. , Authorities said that one of the kayaks had three large holes in it, probably put there by the impact of a great white shark. One body was found six miles from the Ventura coast. Between 1926 and 2014 the California coast experienced 114 shark attacks, with only10 fatalities. The bulk of the attacks have occurred in the red triangle of great white territory off the central and north coast, although San Diego has the most non-fatal attacks at 17. It is amazing that more shark attacks do not occur, especially considering that great whites are known to nurse their young off of our Malibu coast. This is also one of the reasons the Monterey Bay Aquarium comes to Malibu in hopes of capturing a young great white. A captured shark will be kept in a 4-million gallon open ocean pen near Latigo /Paradise Cove for 13 days, and then put in a special 3,200-gallon mobile tank and driven to Monterey. The sharks will be on display at the aquarium for 6 months to a year before being released back into the wild off the Malibu coastline.

Kayak fisherman and shark bite victim Dylan Marks is carried off by rescue personnel. Hammerhead sharks are traditionally non agressive by nature.

ENVIRONMENT

LEO CARILLO BY STEVE WOODS

RESTORATION

With a deadline of October 31, two concrete Arizona Crossings are to be removed from Arroyo Sequit Creek that has blocked natural stream, sediment and tidal flow. The project area was part of a small coastal lagoon/wetland system before PCH re-arranged the landscape by the HWY Dept. in the late 1930’s. With last year’s removal of a small dam just above the campgrounds amphitheater and the current demolition of two Arizona crossings, the endangered Steelhead Trout’s chances of reaching their historic coastal stream habitat will be vastly improved. Project Manager Mark Abramson and Jamie King of State Parks who worked on the Malibu Lagoon Restoration said they have alot to do before the rainy season which will involve removing massive amounts of concrete from the creek bed before constructing foundation bases on either side of the creek bed that will receive a 100 foot pre fab bridge span. A smaller bridge span will cross the creek further up stream below where the old dam was removed last year. Part of the $3.2 million restoration will involve improving creek habitat by removing non native plants, re-contouring the creek bed slopes where previous highway construction constricted the natural creek flow and replant the area with native plants.

Since the late 1930’s this Arizona crossing near PCH has been a barrier to historic Steelhead runs.

An increasing national movement to restore streams and fish populations has inspired many to push for the removal of obsolete stream barriers. The Rindge Dam was built across on Malibu Creek in 1926 but was filled with sediment within 25 years. For over a decade, the Army Corps of Engineers has been trying to develop an environmental and economical plan for removing the aging obstruction so that vital sediment can replenish sand deficient coastal beaches and allow the endangered Steelhead Trout to reach it’s historic habitats in the 109 square mile watershed. Matt Stoecker, a biologist and photographer is focused on restoring rivers and wild fish populations through his company Stoecker Ecological. His early passion for trout fishing evolved into a deep love for the underwater world and eventually, the desire to capture it on film and share with people above water. Matt has worked on more than 50 fish-passage projects, including the removal of several obsolete dams. He supports the removal of the Rindge dam and is on the Technical Advisory Committee for the Matilija Dam removal project and works as a river ecogist with the Marine Science Institute at U.C. Santa Barbara. Matt is also the director of Beyond Searsville Dam, a nonprofit coalition advocating the removal of Stanford University’s unnecessary and destructive Searsville Dam. In 2009, along with project partners, Matt received the Riparian Challenge Award from the American Fisheries Society for the removal of steelhead migration barriers on Carpinteria Creek. Matt has helped produce or provide underwater footage for various films including Horse Creek Damolition – Restoring Southern Steelhead With Dam Removal (2007), Watershed Revolution (2011) and Southern California Steelhead: Against All Odds (2013).and Dam Nation (2014 )

Further up stream another concrete Arizona crossing is slated for removal near where a small dam was removed last year . The view from an ancient Chumash Indian village who harvested Steelhead when thousands of fish used the unobstructed creek to reach its historic spawning areas stream.

The previous Malibu Lagoon Restoration project that was approved by dozens of environmental organizations and State Agencies ,including the EPA to improve water and habitat quality was met with intense local protest and lawsuits. Though the project proceeded after legal time delays, protesters vowed to reorganize and protest the Leo Carrillo and Trancas Lagoon restorations but according to Mark Abramson, no protesters have filed suit or been seen with signs in protest of the heavy machinery tearing out the concrete out of the ancient wetlands stream bed Though vehicle access to the North Beach parking lot will be closed pedestrians can still park on PCH and walk down to the beach. Campers will still have access to the rest of the Campground and surfers can still park in the lot near the entrance station.

The movie DamNation points out that dams like Ventura’s Matilija Dam as well as the Malibu Rindge have been useless, silted up, obsolete, concrete obstructions and have been targeted by Environmentalist and fishermen for decades for removal. Graffiti artist show where bureacrats can make the cut. When these aging unneeded dams go, our beaches can regain some needed sand replenishment and Steelhead can regain their historic habitats.

After the massive floods of 1938, the HWY dept bulldozed a Chumash archaeological village site and filled in a lagoon wetland to build this bridge that now constricts Arroyo Sequits natural outlet meanderings.

LOCAL

THE FUTURE OF BLUFFS BY STEVE WOODS

NEARS IT’S FATE

The City of Malibu Parks and Recreation has reviewed workshop data and resident surveys about how to best use its newly acquired coastal bluffs across from Pepperdine and will take into consideration how best to develop or not develop it. With a slide show presented by Jeremy Frazini ,consultant for Michael Baker International ,it was determined that only about a 3rd of the 83 acres could be developed into a variety of possible options because of Fire dept setbacks and ESHA concerns. The number one priority listed by residents involved passive activity development like hiking and biking trails with vista points. Most wanted to preserve the natural feel while another large segment of representatives wanted to see more ball fields due to an increased popularity in soccer, little league baseball, pony league, softball and la cross .Some wanted a place for an amphitheater, a dog park and a community pool but those who attended the public meeting at city hall were mostly kids and their parents who wanted to see a skate park that was promised by the city years ago after Papa Jacks shut its gates to skate boarders on the temporary metal ramps. Kian Schulman, Carol Moss, Graeme Clifford of the Malibu Cultural Arts commission and Marianne Webster, a representative from the Sierra Club strongly supported preserving the pristine coastal bluffs as natural as possible. John Mazza spoke of his concerns about connecting the east Bluffs with the west bluffs and how parking would gobble up limited land with or without developed fields and organized sports activities. Other comments suggested that ballfields be moved to possible locations on the Civic Centers Wave or La Paz properties. 3 of the 5 Parks and Recreation Commissioners strongly favored a skate park while wanting a design concept to blend into natural environment. Even though a majority consensus by community members was to maintain a passive park with natural aesthetics, the Commissioners seemed eager to plan more ball fields, restroom structures, food facilities, a community pool (with changing rooms) and a community center facility building and enough parking to facilitate at least 100 parking spaces .

Now that the Crummer property developers were able to pay off the Coastal Commission to destroy a pristine coastal viewshed it is even more vital that the last of the undeveloped coastal bluffs are persevered.

Marianne Webster of the Sierra Club reminded the commission that the pristine land was purchased with State bond funds to be a State Park and protected for the people of California. Parks Commissioner chair Carl Randall said that he is confident that he can design a park that compromises with those that don’t want any development and those who want 84 ball fields.

SURF... AND

SKATE?

“I’ve traveled around the world and have skateboarded in city funded parks everywhere from the worlds biggest cities to the smallest towns in the USA. We have a city government that is more concerned with real estate developers, PR and the “Malibu brand” than it is with the children who are growing up here. I personally have been involved in the Malibu Skatepark project since the beginning, and find the non action by our “leaders” to start this project shameful. The skatepark should not be a bargaining chip for developers or the city. It should be built to give our children a safe place to skateboard in their own community. It really shouldn’t be this difficult…” - Justin Kell

Malibu may be one of the only surf towns in the world that still has not provided a Skate Park for its young. Promises have come and gone as another summer peels off the calendar while kids improvise on street curbs next to a busy roads.

Justin Kell skating in Ojai.

Meanwhile blue collar towns in Oregon with populations of less than 5,000 have managed to provide world class skate parks as a healthy alternative to darker unhealthy choices . Mike Gardner and his son Dakota were several of many who showed up at City Hall to prompt the city to get the ball rolling - Steve Woods

10 Reasons Malibu Needs to Build A Skate Park. By Mike and Dakota 1) In the age of Ipads and TV’s with 500 channels, we needs our kids being physical outside the home. 2) Because every community around Malibu recognized the value of skateparks and built them. 3) There are very few traditional neighborhoods with sidewalks and slow traffic where it is safe for kids to skate in Malibu. 4) We are a “surf culture” town and and where you find surfers, you’ll find a whole bunch of skaters. 5) Skating in a park is safer than in the street. Almost all fatalities involving a skateboarder happen because a motor vehicle was involved 6) BMX bikes, scooters, and even rollerbladers will enjoy a skatepark. 7) Because there a dozens of Mom’s and Dad’s who want to show their kids they can rip it up. 8) Your kids will learn about sharing, cheering on others, and dusting themselves off after a fall. 9) Nothing builds confidence like learning to drop in! You survive that….you can do anything! 10) We’ve been talking about it for 20 years and it’s time to act!

From left; Dakota Gardner, Jude Alexander, Nicolai Rainin.

OPINION Does the proposed Shopping Center confrom to the Malibu General Plan ? On July 13th the Malibu City Council had received the letter (below) from the Malibu Coalition For Slow Growth along with sentiments of Malibu residents who attended the standing room only City Council meeting in regards to the EIR for the proposed build out of one commercial property in the Civic Center. After hearing all of the comments concerning the project, the council in a 4-1 vote approved the EIR for the project. Skylar was the only one who voted against the data in the report. With the Councils approval, the commercial shopping building project can now be put on the November ballot to be voted on by residence in the city of Malibu as a result of Measure R which residence unanimously voted (60 - 40 ) for during the last election.

PART II CONTINUED... To members of the City Council Concerning Agenda 4B Cross Creek Shopping Center

The Local Malibu believes the residents of Malibu may be interested in reading the letter below which clearly points out many of the criticisms that residence have about a commercial project they will impact Malibu well into the future. The report is some 22 pages long and we will publishing sections of the letter in the build up to the election so that residence can read what the Council took into consideration or did not take into consideration in their decision. The final approval to go ahead with the Proposed shopping mall and the park is out of the hands of the Council now and in the hands of voters in November. Being informed is every voters responsibility. - Steve Woods

SPECIFIC PLAN This Specific Plan shouldn’t be approved. 1.Originally this project was asking for several variances. After Prop R passed the Applicant withdrew these requests and instead prepared a Specific Plan as required by measure R. This Specific Plan project is the exact same non General Plan and code complying project that was submitted to the city in May 2010 prior to the Specific Plan requirement. The applicant/city staff believes it now has an excuse for not complying with the LCP and MMC. According to a conversation with staff, Jasch told me that staff could not support the landscaping plan variance for the project but because it is now specific plan the applicant can create its own criteria. Surprisingly, staff is willing to recommend approval for this non code complying project despite the fact the landscaping variance in their opinion is not supportable. Something is wrong with this picture in that the staff is willing to relinquish control over the planning process they are hired to oversee. If one reads the Errata, staff is telling us that the code requirements are no longer relevant. In essence staff is recommending the Council ignore the General Plan LCP and MMC. To circumvent the need for a variance staff allows the plain meaning of the landscaping requirements to be reinterpreted in an untenable manner. Staff creates a fictional interpretation of the meaning of 40% lot area landscaping requirement and then says it meets the code erasing the variance requirement.This Specific Plan is just a poor excuse on the part of the Applicant and staff to ignore the certain important city regulations and it should not be allowed. If the Council approves this project you will be sending a clear message to other commercial developers they can design anything they want without regard for the rules and city oversight. This makes a sham of the whole planning process which was put in place to preserve Malibu’s open spaces, natural beauty and fragile infrastructure. 2. In this fragile area of the city with so many infrastructure constraints there is no excuse for designing a project that doesn’t respect the landscape requirement that was put in place to preserve open space in our commercial areas. If the city allows this Specific Plan, the Council will be allowing in essence at least one variance (regarding landscaping) that staff told me they would and couldn’t not support. Now the staff with magical thinking is saying they can support the outlandish and fanciful definition of 40% of lot area and no variance is necessary. The proposed landscaping definition defies belief and despite what staff says a variance is required to approve the CDP. Since the necessary variance findings can’t be made for this project, the only way to deal with it is to ask for a project redesign to meet the plain meaning of this LIP development standard. In addition, with Council approval, the city will be inviting chaos into to the planning process since with each project preparing its own specific plan there will be no set rules to guide development. New Civic Center development in Malibu is constrained by the lack of or difficulty of providing new infrastructure or expanding the capacity of existing facilities and infrastructure, ESHA, protection of visual resources, and hazards. The Land Use Plan, provides a framework within which new development may be accommodated in the Civic Center area but the LUP is being ignored. 3. What happens if the Specific Plan is approved by voters and the developer wins its lawsuit and the specific plan requirement is invalidated? In that instance does the applicant have a non-conforming approved project that might otherwise not be approved? 4. Allowing a specific plan in the Civic Center not to adhere to the landscaped lot area requirement, the variance that staff couldn’t support, sets the precedent for the allowance for less future landscaped open space hence over time the Civic Center area will lose its semi-rural/ rural character and become more urbanized. 5. The Specific Plan has to be prepared by or under the direction of the city. (MMC17.02.045 ( planning commission staff rept. P.3 ) This project was not developed by the city as specific plans normally are. We wonder how much city oversight was given to the window dressing surrounding this project specific plan language was it truly prepared by or under the direction and control of the city. The project is the same original project that was submitted to the city by the Applicant in May 2010. The project design was Applicant’s criteria not the city’s and city staff admits the Plan was prepared by the Applicant with the city tweaking the final Plan. 6. We are confused as to by what authority a Specific Plan can ignore the LCP and MMC regulations and staff no longer is required to review specific plans for code compliance since they are the standard of review for all development projects. The staff report now says that the needed variances can be made but one is no longer required for the failure to comply with the 40% lot area landscaping requirement. Staff just changes the interpretation of this requirement to meet the Applicant’s design and voila a variance is no longer needed. But staff is merely making findings without thought of the long term and short term effects on this area. The question remains, is this the best project at this location given the constraints of the area or is the city just rubber stamping without regard for the long term consequences of this project on the area ? 7. Since the Specific Plan negates the need for certain CUPs granting allowable alcohol uses now in the proposed supermarket and restaurants with no thought as to whether the city will later for some unforeseen reason find that this use should not have been allowed. 8. Grading restrictions and side yard setbacks no longer apply . Also the LUP minor modifications procedures are no longer required. 9. There are important development criteria of the Genera Plan that this project is not in conformance with. The law states specific plans have to comply with the General Plan. This Specific Plan doesn’t meet this test. Please see below and MCSG memo re its failure to meet the provisions of the General Plan. 10. The Specific Plan should comply with the city commercial development codes which effect the character and look of the Civic Center area and protect the fragile ecology of the Civic Center area. Why does the city need 24- 28 ft high one story structures in the civic center when the maximum allowable height is 18 ft. from natural or finished grade whichever is lower? Roof lines can have definition without the highest allowable heights normally reserved for 2 story buildings. Why is the supermarket allowed to not be residential in scale as required by the General Plan? Why are structures being designed around a parking lot as its central feature when the General Plan asks for designs around court yards? Why is the landscaping requirement being upended? Why is the General Plan provision with respect to the importance of open space, structure size and mass and mass being short circuited ? The questions could go on and on but these are just a sample of examples of where significantly important development requirements are not being met, setting the precedent for others commercial developers to follow suit in their Specific Plans. To simply say that variances, site plan review, minor modifications can be made is not an example of good planning ,especially since now if granted, they can be justified for every commercial project. Which is not the intention of the LCP, MMC and General Plan. GENERAL PLAN This project has to conform with the General Plan. Here are but a few of the General plan provisions that are clearly not being adhered to in this proposed Specific Plan. The Implementation Measures of the General Plan are referred to as IM. LU IM 36: Require commercial development to be designed with a residential scale compatible with the surrounding residential neighborhoods. Non Compliance: The supermarket structure at 24,675 square feet is a 100% failure in this regard. At almost 25,000 square feet it is completely out of scale with the its surrounding Knolls and Serra neighborhoods and is clearly not residential in scale.

To Be Continued.

OPINION

CITY OFFICIALS SPOKE LOUD AND CLEAR:

“When you make this land use decision don’t in your mind limit yourself to just “Whole Foods” because if you recommend approval of the specific plan and the specific plan as it’s being proposed is ratified by the voters, then any grocery store could go in to that space. Whether it’s a Gelson’s or a Whole Foods or a FOOD FOR LESS... You can know that these land use decisions are going to have a broader application.” - Christi Hogin, Malibu City Attorney

“I think it’s asinine for us to adopt a study that said [traffic has] stayed the same or gone down.” - Skylar Peak, Malibu City Councilman

Isn’t it implicit upon us to limit this EIR to this project only and at least at some point say if Whole Foods never shows up or Whole Foods bails out and this becomes a 99 Cent Store there’s a problem here? - John Mazza, Malibu Planning Commissioner

supports a NO vote on Measure W

With hundreds of thousands of square feet of EMPTY commercial space available in Malibu, why should we vote yes to build more?

WHOLE FOODS IS NOT THE WHOLE STORY. Tha last thing Malibu needs is something we DON’T NEED.

OPINION

ISIS WANTS TO K I L L YOU 5. PUNISHMENTS

BY DAVID STANSFIELD EDITED BY ALLEN WALDMAN

OPINION

5. PUNISHMENTS (cont’d)

OPINION

6. ROOT CAUSES (cont’d)

OPINION

6. ROOT CAUSES (cont’d)

MALIBU

MALIBU ROOTS By JOHN DENSMORE

My sister married the coach at Malibu High in the early 60’s, so I had a few acres to stash my newly acquired quarter horse. With the success of “Light My Fire,” the record company president wanted to give each of us a gift. Our guitar and keyboard players requested tape recorders. Jim (Morrison) got a Shelby Mustang GT 350, and I got a “real” horse. So my Malibu roots began in 1967. I used to get pancakes and eggs at the Malibu Colony Coffee Shop on the way to Trancas to ride my horse. Sometimes I’d stop at Chico’s for some flowers and veggies, where occasionally Chico would give me a bottle of his homemade herbal drink. He said it would cure anything. It was a dark brown liquid full of twigs and branches, spiked with some kind of alcohol. Since Malibu is near Hollywood, I’m going to cut to the 70’s when I bought my own place to keep the “LMF” (Light My Fire) horse. It was still pretty rural, with many domestic animals outside ranch houses. There were even a few horse corrals left around Point Dume. That was soon to be no more. As Bob Dylan wrote, “It’s rush hour now, on the wheel and the plow, and the sun is going down on the sacred cow.” Cut to the 90’s:Horses were disappearing rapidly in the Malibu Park area as we equestrians fought losing battles to keep trails open. The thought arose – Is Malibu still Malibu without any horses?

“SLOW

EQUALS

SOUL”

Recently the local voters tried to take back control of their community by passing Measure “R.” The idea being that there would be a vote on large developments. I blogged that everyone knows that if it’s a sunny day you can’t get to the Bu. And if you’re out here, you can’t leave due to the gridlock. So hopefully the citizens can go carefully into okaying new commercial malls.

I have nothing against Whole Foods per say (I even had stock early in the company’s career), but there’s no guarantee that the proposed new mall to be voted on in November will get Whole Foods. Target could be substituted. Equally worrisome is the fact that the developer of the mall is suing the city to reverse Measure “R.” Gosh... is there writing on the wall? My old friend, the famous American poet Robert Bly, used to say: “slow equals soul.” I sure hope Malibu doesn’t lose its soul.

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LIFESTYLE

EL NINO

PHOTO BY NICK CALAFATI

ESSENTIALS

The predictions of a wet fall and winter are on the horizon. As a matter of fact, we have already seen the signs with record rainfall in Sept. Have you picked your best battle gear to get through the upcoming inclement weather? Here are our fashion finds we can’t live without this El Nino year.

BOMBER TOPSHOP Florris MA-1 Bomber $105. llbean.com

LL BEAN Hunter’s tote, large. $39. llbean.com

CAMOUFLAGE THIERRY LASRY Sexxxy D-frame acetate sunglasses $435. net-a-porter.com

DENIM AMERICAN DRESS CODE five pocket flare, $195. americandresscode.com

Montana Ulmer is El Nino ready wearing American Dress Code five pocket flare available at americandresscode.com. Madison LA will carry additional styles. Top Shop green bomber jacket, Halogen cashmere beanie. Styled by Christy Calafati.

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LIFESTYLE

EL NINO

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ESSENTIALS

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FOOD

EL NINO TUNA! BY CLAUDIA TAYLOR

Hopefully, dear readers, you have had the chance to dip, swim or surf in our local waters recently- we’re experiencing temperatures and clarity that deserve a daily pilgrimage. Rinse yourself of worries, focus on your day, and replenish your joyful spirt as the waves bring you to the shore. And, just in case you haven’t noticed- the fish are jumping! Thank El Nino! With the large mass of warm water sitting on the equator off the coast of Ecuador Chile and Colombia our Southern California sea temperatures have been very warm, this has increased the range of pelagic fishes like yellow and blue fin tuna, Dorado, Bonita and other tropical favorites are abundant and biting in our local waters. A day trip off the Channel Islands with a few good lures and a knowledgeable captain can help land enough prime ahi and mahi mahi to fill your freezer to bursting. Just last week a friend dropped by 8 pounds of prime tuna loin and the question becomes, “what will we do with all of this fish?” Here is a warm weather favorite recipe to help you deal with the abundance of fresh fish bulging the freezers in Malibu.

Salade “BU-soise”

Tuna Conserva 2 Pounds Tuna Loin Steak 4 cups Extra Virgin Olive Oil 2 Fresh Bay Leaves 1 bunch Thyme sprigs 2 Tbs Peppercorns 2 Tbs Kosher Salt 2 cloves smashed Garlic 1 Bulb Fennel 1 Yellow Onion sliced thin Put olive oil, salt, peppercorns, bay leaves, thyme, garlic, onion and fennel in a 6-8 quart saucepot. Bring to a low simmer over medium heat, until onion and fennel are tender. Carefully place the tuna in the pot and cook for 5 minutes. Spoon the olive oil over the fish to baste until fish is cooked through. Remove the pan from the heat and let the fish cool in the olive oil. Then place all ingredients in a glass bowl and refrigerate overnight. Store the tuna in airtight canning jars for up to 2 weeks.

Patrick Stoker with the catch

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WINE

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WELLNESS

6 LIFE BENEFITS OF

ENDURANCE TRAINING HOW TO PARLAY YOUR ATHLETICISM INTO A BETTER LIFE. By TED MC DONALD I ran my first marathon in 2010. Prior to that, I played baseball, football, and lacrosse throughout my high school years and even a bit at UCLA. I loved being on a team, I loved the exercise, the camaraderie, and the competition. I had no idea what was in store for me when I broke out on my own and started endurance training. It wasn’t until I went for the long haul that I began to understand what it’s like to push myself beyond my physical limits and my mental capacity. It wasn’t until then that I learned how to understand my mind and body on a deeper level. My thoughts told me I wasn’t going to make it, they told me that I shouldn’t be running so far. They told me that it’s bad for me and that it will have negative, long term effects. Well, some of those thoughts were correct. There were definitely long term effects, they just weren’t negative. That race was 15 years ago and those effects were more positive than I could’ve ever imagined. Upon crossing the finish line that day, I had a great realization, “If I can do this, I can do anything!” I know it sounds like an after school special, but it kind of is. I fell in love with training and later racing. I started feverishly looking at new, cool events for which I could train. I found the Malibu Triathlon, Adventure Racing, ultra marathons, trail races and long mountain bike races. I love being in nature, away from the hustle and bustle of civilization. There is an incredible peace out there. Most importantly, I continue to recreate my own well being. When I get used to a certain level, I’ll take it up a notch by finding a new challenge. I have truly shifted the way I think about life, career, relationships and overall well-being. My challenge to you is to find your edge, then, safely, blow right on by it and see what lies ahead. You’ll be surprised! Here are my 5 Life Benefits that I’ve gained from being an endurance athlete: I’ve been able to create balance in my life more readily. It takes a lot of time, effort and commitment to train for these events. I am married, work more than full time and I must be incredibly precise when scheduling training otherwise all areas of life get out of whack. Increased body awareness. I’m acutely aware of all the nuances in my body because I know I need to be 100% in order to compete. I’m always looking to recover properly with yoga, massages, meditation, and proper nutrition. Decreases stress in my life. By experiencing intense exercise over longer periods of time, I build a tolerance to challenges and suffering. This has allowed my sensibility to life’s minutiae to diminish. I’ve been able to let go of the little things that used to bother. Better physical and cardiovascular health. I know it’s obvious, but it’s still worth noting, exercise is the number one thing you can do to live healthier. It is true that you cannot exercise away a bad diet, so you have to eat right. But definitely get out and exercise, you will feel better. Restful sleep has always been pretty consistent in my life, but when I started tracking my sleep with the Sleep Cycle app, I found that I slept better when I exercised during the day. And by now, we all know, studies have shown that sleeping 7-8hrs or more each day increases your well-being. Become part of a community. I’ve always wanted to feel part of the “in” crowd. In the beginning of my training and even today many people scoff at how much exercise I do, but those who understand it and reap the benefits all share this incredible gift of a very unique experience of life. We’ve created our own “in” crowd. Come join us! On twitter @teddymcdonald

WELLNESS For those who make the choice to use collagen building laser peels, botox, and fillers, they’ll certainly slow down the aging process… but, it won’t stop it! After some investigation, I believe these 5 anti-aging tips will keep you looking younger longer and they won’t cost you an arm and a leg! 1) YOUTHFUL ATTITUDE Learn to be adaptable Nothing in life stays the same for long, we’re in a constant state of change, so resisting it is a waste of energy. Learning to adapt quickly is a life skill that can serve us at any age. Instead of thinking: “I can’t do that anymore,” try saying: “I will find a new way to do that.” Continue to challenge yourself. Every stage of life has its strengths, and we should be willing to use them. The natural evolution is one of accumulated wisdom and knowledge. Add some youthful enthusiasm to all that accumulated knowledge and you’ll have good reason to feel excited about each new day. You are only as old as you feel… The key to psychological health is how you feel inside, not your chronological age. Feeling old is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Cherish your health… Stay in shape, Continue to exercise as you age. Visualize yourself as youthful and with endless energy. Visualization is a powerful tool. There is no magic secret to happiness and staying young, it starts in your head. It’s a choice. 2) SMILE Last week a client said I look younger when I smile. I was confused, did he mean that unless I was smiling I Iooked old and haggard? Then I did a little research on Smiling… what I discovered was that all these anti-aging creams, potions, and capsules don’t hold a candle to what a simple genuine smile from the heart can do to take years off your appearance. Putting a smile on your face will lead your brain to happiness, releasing endorphin’s which: Make us attractive to others. There is an automatic attraction to people who smile. It’s contagious… Others will want to be with you. Relieves stress… Stress does express itself right on our faces. A simple smile can help us look better, less tired, less worn down. Boosts our immune system… Smiling can actually stimulate your immune response by helping you relax and there is evidence that your blood pressure can decrease. Laugh often. Starting your day with a good laugh, or at least a big smile is as beneficial to your health as it is to your mood. Laughter benefits the heart, lungs, stomach and other organs. It relaxes tensions and changes attitude. When you smile at someone and they smile in return you are helping to create physiological changes in their bodies that may benefit them, as well as yourself. 3) ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS Take time to enjoy the things that you like to do… hike, walk, boogie board with your kids, go to the movies, read a good book, watch a favorite TV show or spend time with your spouse. Have a good balance in your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Choose those who are positive, and people that challenge you. Negative people see the difficulty in every opportunity, while positive people see the opportunity in every difficulty. Keep learning… Henry Ford put it best when he said, “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” 4) CIRCULATION Good blood circulation is essential to maintaining a healthy, youthful body. Your circulatory system is responsible for delivering oxygen and nutrients, and it filters out waste. If it’s not working properly, you can develop a wide range of health problems, which can age you prematurely. One of the best ways to insure good circulation is to exercise more frequently and maintain a good body weight. If your circulation is poor, you can start with moderate exercise and work your way up to more vigorous routines. Cardio based workouts are essential, they increase lymphatic fluids and helps to improve your immune system. 5) EAT LESS AND EAT RIGHT Dieting can boost your brain power. It activates a protein that helps the mind stay young and healthy. Restricting the number of calories you eat activates genes linked to longevity. Low-calorie diets have been shown to extend life and reduce risks associated with aging. A team from Catholic University of Sacred Heart in Rome claims that eating fewer calories triggers a protein called CREB1, which turns on genes that are linked to a longer and healthier life. Diet can play a large part in increasing your circulation. Increase your levels of iron and vitamin C, which are found in foods like lentils, beans, chickpeas and citrus fruits. Increasing your intake of vitamin E by eating foods like garlic, onions or olive oil can help thin the blood so it’s easier to pump blood throughout the body. Cutting foods like sugar, fat and toxins like alcohol will help lower cholesterol levels that can cause damage to the arteries and impact blood flow, all of which impact the aging process.

DEGENERATING OR

REGENERATING? BY DIANA NICHOLSON

Pilates instructor Diana Nicholson trained under Master Teacher, Marie Jose Blom Lawrence at “Long Beach Dance and Conditioning” She is a certified “Health Coach” from “The Institute for Integrative Nutrition” and a graduate of the California Healing Arts College”, as well as Yoga Certified through UnityOneYoga. - malibubeachpilates.com

By definition, true youthfulness is to have the freshness or energy of someone who is young. It starts from within! malibubeachpilates.com

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ENVIRONMENT

PLASTIC FREE ZONE IN MALIBU

Sunday September 13th, The 5 Gyres Institute, an L.A. based nonprofit organization with a global network of supporters dedicated to the elimination of plastic waste in the world’s oceans through scientific research, education, and action-based solutions, hosted a “plastic-free” educational salon at the beautiful home of Malibu resident Colette Brooks. Overlooking a bucolic vista of pigs and horses against the sparkling blue pacific backdrop, the 20 attendants learned about the serious threat that plastic pollution poses to our oceans, our planet and our health. Plastic pollution is primarily caused by the ubiquitous use of single-use plastic items such as straws, bags and disposable coffee cup lids. Plastic contains endocrine disruptors that may cause health problems to humans, and after their use, go on to kill sea life through entanglement and ingestion. Co-founders and husband-wife duo, Anna Cummins and Marcus Eriksen, gave a short presentation on the organization’s history and mission to empower citizens to become leaders in combating the global health crisis of plastic pollution. Following the presentation, 5 Gyres staff and board members mingled with guests while enjoying breath taking views of the Pacific Ocean coupled with drinks and Ethiopian food prepared by chef Fuad Affifi. Attendees were given parting gifts, which included a reusable produce bag, a vial of plastic pollution, and microbead-free facial scrub, to name a few. 5 Gyres will be hosting two more intimate fundraisers in the Los Angeles area before the end of the year.

From left to right: Anna Cummins, Tina Casebeer, Colette Brooks, Marcus Eriksen, Haley Jain Haggerstone.

For more information, contact haley@5gyres.org.

5 Gyres co-founders, Anna Cummins and Marcus Eriksen educate attendees about the threat plastic pollution poses to marine life and human health.

Sample vial filled with ocean plastic: (from top to bottom) pre-production nurdles, recovered ocean fragments and microbeads from cosmetic exfoliants.

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SURF

FIREWIRE TEAM WINS BILLABONG SURFAID CUP AT MALIBU For a third year in a row, the team from Firewire have won the Billabong SurfAid Cup. The event is held at the iconic Malibu Beach in Malibu California, with 12 teams raising an extraordinary $160,000 for humanitarian organization SurfAid. This is the second year that Dr. Dave’s team has won the SurfAid Cup fundraising trophy. The team of Conrad Carr, Gus Roxburgh, Debbie Frank, and SurfAid founder, Dr. Dave Jenkins raised an amazing $34,650. Since its inception in 2012, this event has now raised more than $400,000 for SurfAid. All funds raised contribute to SurfAid’s mother and child programs in remote areas of Indonesia in Nias, Mentawai islands, Sumbawa and Sumba. “The funds raised by the Billabong SurfAid Cup in Malibu, the ongoing support of MSA, and the community of Malibu saves lives in Indonesia. SurfAid works in places where hardly anyone but surfers go – but where there are high rates of infant and maternal mortality. Days like today show that surfers can make a real difference and give back to the places they love” says Andrew Judge, SurfAid’s CEO. This year, Billabong came on board as the event’s presenting sponsor.

Nick Rozsa with a blow tail on a glassy right. PHOTO: Trevor Pikhart

“We at Billabong are thrilled to offer our ongoing support to this longstanding and important partnership with SurfAid. Their incredible work has already helped to improve health and lower mortality rates in Nias and surrounding areas. Billabong is excited and proud to join globally in the support of SurfAid.” says Cathey Curtis, VP of Global Marketing, Billabong Womens. First Point at Malibu treated the surfers to near ideal conditions with light winds and pumping, glassy 4 to 5 foot waves. A five-man tag team format, the SurfAid Cup is part of the MSA contest and all the teams pick a pro surfer or legend to join their fundraising team. The judges were impressed with the level of surfing by all the competitors – including an amazing team of under 15 groms from Malibu. The team Latigo Groms, consisting of Niko Didden, Diego Didden, Charlie Hoberman, Henno Hopp picked pro surfer Matt McCabe and scored some incredible waves. The opportunity to give back by supporting SurfAid coupled with surfing an empty Malibu is what drives most of these competitors. The team from Firewire took out the final with a score of 91.70, followed in second with team Captain Mikke Pierson with a score of 80.47. The team Malaria Sucks narrowly edged out the SurfAiders team with a score of 69.90 to take third. Fifth place finishers Malaria Free Mentawai and the sixth place team from Billabong rounded out the exciting finals. The winning Firewire team consisted of Mike Thomas, Taylor Jensen, Noah Erikson, Chuy Reyna, and pro rider Mike McCabe.

Anthony Petruso with a powerful snap in the Billabong SurfAid Cup in Malibu. PHOTO: Trevor Pikhart

The other placings were: 1st Place – Firewire 2nd Place – Captain Mikke Pierson 3rd Place – Malaria Sucks 4th Place – SurfAiders 5th Place – Malaria Free Mentawai 6th Place – Billabong 7th Place – Malcolm Hates Malaria 8th Place – Saving Lives Every Day 9th Place – Latigo Groms 10th Place – Dr. Dave’s Team 11th Place – Indoteak Design 12th Place – Tad & Tad You can still support the teams here: https://www.classy.org/surfaidcupmalibu2015 Supporting sponsors for the 2015 SurfAid Cup in Malibu were Malibu Village, Dukes at Malibu, and Grom Social.

Anthony Petruso and Marc Oliver tag off for the SurfAiders while Fernando Aguerre looks on. PHOTO: Ryan Meichtry

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Billabong SurfAid Cup winners, team Firewire. L-R – Taylor Jensen, Mike McCabe, Noah Erickson, Mike Thomas, and Chuy Reyna. PHOTO: Ryan Meichtry

EL NINO WATCH

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Monday night forecasters predicted some overnight showers but by 2 a.m. the sky broke open with the heaviest rain anyone can ever remember for September.

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Record rainfall was reported early Tuesday September 15th for several locations in Los Angeles and Ventura counties. The 2.39 inches of rain in downtown Los Angeles made Tuesday the second-wettest September day since record-keeping began in 1877. The wettest September day was Sept. 25, 1939, when 3.96 inches of rain fell. An early season low pressure weather system from the north Pacific collided with late season remnants of Hurricane Linda heading north from Baja Mexico and gave us some welcome rain relief from a dry hot summer. Though the unseasonable rain caused 7 Sig alerts of traffic hell for Southland commuters, the rain is a huge welcome relief for firefighters battling fires burning up and down the state.

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PADDLE LESSONS

After more than a week of triple-digit temperatures and low humidity, a band of light showers blanketed portions of California on Monday and Tuesday, extending from Sacramento to Ventura. The light rain is part of a larger system moving through the state. This rare September rain follows the rare rain storm that dumped a record amount rain in July and is a bonafide wake up call that El Nino is alive and well .

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COLUMN

MAN ABOUT TOWN:

THE

LAST DINOSAUR An Everyman’s Guide To The New Woman BY MARLON YOUNG Continued from Issue 17... MY DAD What did you forget to do?

ME (groaning in pain) Turn off the current to the wire? MY DAD Ok, then. You think I forgot to turn the current off again? You can’t do that kind of teaching anymore. It’s against the law. Probably was back then, too. But now, you’ll go directly to jail. No passing go. No collecting two hundred dollars. What we have been instead is more sensitive to our sons. Very good. However, that’s all we’ve been. Those lessons that needed to be learned from a visceral approach haven’t been taught. Those were “action equals immediate consequence” lessons. Touch the gun, lose your fingers. Have a kid, get married and get a job. Get married, stay together forever and make it work. Those tenets were delivered in a manner that scared you and kept you scared until you were certain you were ready for the responsibility brought on by your actions because you were shown what a responsible man does. Right along with the fear of the consequences of your actions, there was the balance of responsibility early on. I learned to drive a truck when I was eight. Why? Because I was given the responsibility of maintaining a large garden of vegetables that was a mile away from my house. Every morning before school, I had to drive there and water this garden. I was given this garden watering responsibility and I had to perform it so my Dad taught me to drive a truck so I could drive down to the garden and then back to the house. “Water the garden, don’t crash the truck, don’t miss the bus to school.” And I did it because I was expected to. Yes, I lived in the country. Deep in the country. Early Branch, South Carolina. Population less than three-hundred. We didn’t have running water until I was about seven. The bathroom was an outhouse and the telephone was a party line. That meant that if you picked up the phone to use it, chances were you heard some of your neighbors talking and you had to hang up and wait until they were done. And, yes, that was less than a hundred years ago. If you don’t believe me, find someone from Early Branch and ask them. What I’m saying is that through concentrating more on our feelings as men, we have managed to soften the element of our masculinity that kept things in balance. That element of concrete consequence kept us from saying stupid stuff. Doing stupid stuff. It kept you alive, man. For crying out loud! For instance, what do you teach your son to do if another kid at school hits him? Hit him back, only harder? No. You can’t do that. You’ll be told that you’re raising a violent child. You have to tell your son that hitting is wrong and if someone hits him, he should tell the teacher and that teacher will hopefully tell that kid’s parents. Then, he’ll get a good, stern talking to from said parents once he gets home....and no X-box for a week. Problem solved, right? You know the answer to that. That same kid is back the next week bopping your son on the head with his lunch box. Why? No visceral consequences. That kid isn’t the one I’m concerned about, though. It’s the kid who is getting his ass kicked and doesn’t fight back because fighting is wrong. The kid who’s told that talking issues out and coming to an understanding of each other is the most desired solution in all situations. Really? Fifteen years later, the kid who was hitting your kid has now broken into your kid’s home while your kid is there with his family. What happens now? They sit down and discuss why he feels a need to rob people at gunpoint? Refer him to a good counselor? And what about the “hitting” kid? Do you think he has thought about the consequences? Sure, he has. He’ll get a stern talking to or something similar. He’s definitely not thinking that he may get his ass kicked or shot. We took that away from him and replaced it with “he didn’t get enough affection as a kid” or “he probably has a lot of disfunction in his family.” Both of those things may be true but what he also didn’t get was a good and swift ass-kickin’ when he was screwing up fifteen years ago. Now, I realize that this is a somewhat extreme example so let me make it more relatable. How many times have you heard women say that there are no more “real men.” Real men? What the hell is a real man? One who fights to defend his family? They said fighting was bad so we stopped. One who pays for dinner when you go out on a date? They said they made their own money and didn’t need us to pay. And that they didn’t want you to think that they owed you something if you DID pay. So, we stopped paying. One who takes care of his responsibilities as a father to his kids? They said abortion was an option for an unwanted pregnancy so there was no kid to take care of. What “real men” are we talking about, then? The men that exist right now ARE the real men so drink up! Enjoy their company because they are the by-product of the suppression of masculinity. That stuff that was taught to us by our fathers. Again, I’m not saying that all of that stuff was good. I am saying, though, that we didn’t think about our reaction would be to the overnight change in what women’s roles were going to be now in today’s society. Those old roles had been in place for thousands of years. We didn’t sit down and think about all of the possibilities of how the male-dominated society that we were living in was going to be effected once it was no longer dominated by men. Here’s why we didn’t do it; we were so used to thinking of women as meek and helpless that we didn’t think that they could possibly make such a massive change in our society that our entire old game plan could be turned upside-down. We underestimated them and that is an understatement. So, now we stand with our hands in front of our “johnsons” trying to protect the very testicles that we, because of our poor planning and underestimation, gave up willingly in the first place. That’s just our part, though. Our misstep as men. The flip side of that, the woman’s side, is that when they exercised their long-oppressed abilities, they scared us into a place where we were extremely hesitant to show any signs of that “man” that our Dads told us to be. Compliment a woman on her looks in the workplace, regardless of how innocent, and you will be one unemployed bastard. Address a woman under sixty-five years old as “Ma’am” and stand by for the tsunami of lambaste that will follow because it will absolutely come. Do you know when it’s okay to bring out the guy who metaphorically laid his jacket over a puddle of water so she wouldn’t get her feet wet and when it’s okay to let her open the door for herself? Of course you don’t because communication between men and women hasn’t been that black and white in forty years. That “real man” got frightened into hiding like a turtle in a thunderstorm and he has great reluctance in reappearing.

Photos by Denise Malone Marlon Young is an actor, screenwriter, and author of the most succinct, easy-to-digest book that addresses the fundamental problems in relationships to come along in a while. www.thelastdinosauraudiobook.com

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