Whywelove RealityTV

While I was recently browsing through my Netflix account, I came across the category “Escapist Reality TV” consisting of shows that follow real people in their daily lives but with a high potential for possible drama to happen. To be honest, I am also guilty of indulging in shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or dating shows like Too Hot to Handle. Now, when watching the first show I can pretty well distinguish it from my own reality, considering that I don’t own a million-dollar business, and I am not married to a rich real estate agent either. Having said that, with Too Hot to Handle, these people seem to have normal lives, they go to work or university, although they probably party a bit too much and break one too many hearts. So that realisation made me wonder why people watch the show in the first place and secondly, why it is deemed to be “escapist” by the provider.

Design & Illustration: Chloe Dickson

Nevertheless, the reality TV stars might not be completely guilt-free in that equation, considering they have closed themselves off completely, because they have been hurt, thus not enabling new possibilities for honest relationships.

Over the course of ten days or a month, these singles are supposed to learn to trust each other again and develop a connection on a purely emotional and platonic level, ignoring the physical attraction they would usually indulge in for a night. Having finished a season, I often wonder if those workshops and lessons they have been given will actually stick in the outside world where physicality and temptation reign.

Personally, I would say that the appeal of dating shows lies in the fact that love is a subject which is omnipresent, whether you see couples walking down the street, you’re in a relationship yourself, or you might just be a happy single. Therefore, the topic can hardly be avoided, the question if there is a boy-/girlfriend is the first one to be asked at family gatherings without a doubt. Since it is on people’s minds, someone might find it comforting to either see that others have bad luck with love too or they might find it amusing, with a slight sadistic tendency, to watch the reality TV “stars” fail at committing themselves to someone while simultaneously they claim to be looking for the “perfect match”. The other interesting observation I’ve made is that about 99% of the people who participate in the above-mentioned dating show talk about how they have been exploited by either men or women, so they have lost the ability to open up about their true feelings, let alone trust someone enough to commit to a relationship.

If dating shows were a microcosm of our society, it would be a sad and hopeless representation, since it would mean that genuine connections between people are impossible to find.

Keeping up with the life of the participants, a small number of them are still together with the person they formed a bond with in the series, yet the number of those who have broken up is greater. I suppose that is just what would happen in the real world too. Some relationships work out and some simply don’t, but whether this makes the singles return to their old player patterns is a question I consequently ask myself.

Admittedly, I watch a show like Too Hot to Handle precisely to “escape” my own reality, not necessarily because I have been unhappy with relationships. After a day of working on an essay, reading through literary criticism or other academic texts, my brain needs some light and funny entertainment which this show indeed grants. I believe that’s why most people watch it, to take their minds off their workday or, sadly, they might recognise their own dating patterns in what the contestants reveal, hence they feel understood and less alone.

Seriously though, after four seasons, who still believes that the people who sign up to the fake dating shows, pretending to be a show of wild amorous adventures, when they are actually Too Hot to Handle, don’t know what they are signing up for?