A Thought

by Ashley Soules

When I first went to write this piece on love, I knew I wanted it to be about self-love. Since then, I’ve opened and closed this word document a dozen times. I would force out a few solid sentences and then be lost. Initially, I had wondered why this was so difficult for me, but I realized being open about your “flaws” means to be vulnerable. To be fully open about anything personal can be a scary thing. What will the perception be? Will people think differently of me? Nevertheless, I’ve decided that with vulnerability, may come strength.

In the 6th grade I thought skipping meals would make me pretty. However, after a few hours, my will was powerless over the sound of my stomach. I straightened my hair every day in my junior year of high school. My curls and I were always at odds and frying them seemed like the best solution. Sometimes I still feel like I can never leave the house without makeup. No scar or blemish deserves to see the light of day. I’ve used all these examples to basically say, sometimes I don’t love myself like I should.

Now, initially that may seem like a selfish and self-absorbed statement but oftentimes, we pour our love out to those around us, and we never take the time to love ourselves. The words “love yourself” are often used as a blanket statement, but there seems to be nothing behind the curtain when you look for more answers. To make matters even worse, all the media we consume solely focuses on and praises men and women with a specific look. Seeing these fabricated images night and day can cause you to constantly think about how you pale in comparison. In a society that presents the “perfect person” on social media and in advertisements, to wholly accept yourself can feel like a Herculean task. I would say the reason is simply because loving yourself is hard and sometimes the odds are stacked against you.

So, where do we go from here? Are we just always going to fixate on how we don’t measure up to society’s standards of what we should look like?"

Well, no, but it takes a lot of time and hard-work to be carefree and unconditionally loving of yourself. To me, it starts with understanding that acknowledging, embracing, and loving all your “flaws” is the greatest gift you can give yourself. In the words of one of my favorite comedians, Pete Holmes, “Love yourself for what you are doing, not what you think you should be doing.” I realize now that being pretty doesn’t necessarily mean being a size 00. I realize no matter how unruly my curls are, they’re mine and I love every strand. Somewhere down the line maybe I’ll wear makeup not just because I feel I need to. Reaffirm who you are, what you are, and where you are right now. Wrap yourself in the good days, bad days, and everything in between. What you wish you could fix today might be the thing you pride yourself on tomorrow.