I'm Only Gonna Say It Once

My name is Ximena Name (I know, I know. What kind of last name is Name, right?!) and I am 22 years old. Even though I’m a senior in Newman University in Kansas, my home is Veracruz, Mexico.

You probably did the math already, but in case you haven’t, this is my fourth year living in the United States. So I guess you could say that I am an immigrant…at least temporarily.

All this time I have spent away from my home, my culture, my family, and my friends has given me a lot to learn and realize about the world and the people around me. If I tried to include all of it in these pages, it would probably turn into a book rather than an essay.

Don’t get discouraged, though. Instead, I will give you a summary of my thoughts and observations on immigration and my experience as a foreigner, not to mention, my experience as a Mexican living in America…I mean, the United States. Sorry, my bad.

Before going any further, let's touch on some family history, which brings me back to my – not so common – last name: Name. It is actually pronounced “nah-meh” (not “name” as in ‘my name is’) and it is Lebanese.

Far away, right? I know!

My great-great-grandparents were Lebanese, and they immigrated to Mexico, where they adopted a new home and continued the Name legacy. In fact, there are many Lebanese families in Mexico.

You must be wondering why. To be honest, so am I.

I would guess they come to Mexico because our culture and everything it has to offer (places, people, food, customs, and traditions) is absolutely beautiful. When people say otherwise, I think it’s just lack of cultural knowledge, and sometimes even ignorance. Maybe even racism, but let’s hope not.

So I did a little experiment.

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear "border" or "immigration"?

Unsurprisingly, all of the answers turned out to be pretty consistent. Most of them said–as you might already expect–illegal immigrants. Some even put the word “Mexican” in-between “illegal” and “immigrants”.

Sadly, a lot of U.S. citizens do this unconsciously, but the truth is, immigration is so much more than illegal Latin Americans coming to the United States.

It goes way beyond that.

Can I blame them, though? I mean, just take a look of what foreigner movies and the media shows to the world when they refer to Mexico.

Desert, drugs, corruption, crime. It is obvious that someone who has never been exposed to such culture will believe what they see in the movies to be true.

I asked the same question to my non-American friends, but they didn’t mention illegal immigrants at all.

If I hear the word “immigration” I think of diversity. I think of people from all over the world, adapting to another language and culture. I’ve been lucky enough to travel to many different countries and experience their culture, which might be why my non-American friends’ answers and my answer are different to what Americans think.

Maybe my answer is also different from theirs because my president isn’t too concerned with immigrants…but that’s a different topic.

As a Mexican in the United States, I have gotten countless of stupid comments regarding my country, my physical appearance, my level of English, among other things. People who have absolutely no idea about Mexico have been bold enough to tell me ‘I don’t look Mexican’ or that they’re scared of my country.

I've heard it all.

Why is your skin/hair so light?

How can you speak English so well if you’re from Mexico?

Do you have air conditioning ?

I’ve been asked if we use donkeys for transportation…come on, seriously!?

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry anymore.

Besides, ever since Trump became president I’ve found myself in the middle of very uncomfortable conversations involving The Wall, and of course his wild opinions on my people.

One time someone asked me what I thought about Trump.

“Do you really want to know?” I asked, already knowing the answer. He laughed, asking me a different question this time. “Now what would you think if foreigners were coming into your country and making a home out of it? Wouldn’t you be upset?”

The truth is, I wouldn’t. I would be very proud.

If people from other parts of the world were coming to my country, trying to make it their new home, then that must mean that my country is great and has so much to offer.

He was surprised, nonetheless, because he didn’t say a single word after that.

Every time someone makes a comment of that nature about my country or my ethnicity, I get a sudden urge to punch them in the face–no offense. It’s just upsetting and kind of sad that false ideas and/or information are being spread. It is even sadder that people are believing these things. But I understand this is probably because they don’t have anything else to compare it to or just don’t know any better.

Anyway, we might be getting a little out of topic here.

Immigration. Borders. Right...

The most significant border I see is the one between cultures–especially, between the Mexican and American culture. This has been the hardest part about being away from home: getting used to the people here. Sometimes I find myself struggling to communicate my ideas to someone else, or I keep noticing things that people here do, or don’t do that appear odd to me.

For example, some of the (I guess, cultural) differences that I have noticed are that most people here are a bit colder; they don’t usually eat with a knife; they don’t say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes; they burp in public, and don’t kiss on the cheek when they greet you or say goodbye.

I remember one time I ran and hugged my friend while screaming “Happy birthday!”

She was clearly uncomfortable.

“What are you doing? Everyone is looking at you!”

I felt like I had done something terrible, so I never did that again.

Now, when it's someone's birthday, I hold myself back.

No screaming. No getting excited. No hugs. Just a short, simple, straight-forward “happy birthday.”

Although borders and immigration go hand-in-hand, these two topics can represent different things to different people. This is probably because we’ve been exposed to different experiences, which have shaped the way we think about the world around us.

Different backgrounds lead to different customs, different beliefs, and ideas. There will always be borders and limitations when it comes to living in a foreign country or interacting with a foreigner, but that’s what makes immigration so exciting.

There is so much more of the world around us that we are not familiar with, and that’s okay. As long as we respect those who are different and keep an open mind when we are exposed to these type of situations.

At least, that's how I see it.