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HELMET IN CONCERT
Lest We Forget The Best Of
$
1399
The highly anticipated new album from one of the leaders of the hard rock revolution.
CD
16 of Manson's greatest hits including "The Beautiful People", "The Dope Show", "Sweet Dreams", "mOBSCENE", plus a brand new cover of "Personal Jesus". Limited edition CD with bonus DVD also available -
$
1499
CRADLE OF FILTH
$
1299 CD
Size Matters Available Oct. 5
3 Inches of Blood "A crusading metal army come to smite the heathen naysayers. These Canadians conquer." - Kerrang!
IN CONCERT With their cunning amalgam of venomous black metal and high gothic drama, Cradle Of Filth return with their explosive new album 'Nymphetamine'.
$$ Nymphetamine
99 99
12
CD CD
October 20 Richard's On Richards
Advance $ & Vanquish Available Oct. 19
1399 CD
October 15 Lucky On Yates (Victoria)
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THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 4
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Innards
Cover Stor y
THE NERVE HIT SQUAD
King Pin (a/k/a Editor-In-Chief) Bradley C. Damsgaard editor@thenervemagazine.com
Every time you turn around these days there ‘s another band named after a lactating contortionist in Nevada. Emily Kendy holds the phone about 16 inches from her head.
Pistol Whipper (a/k/a Music Editor) Adrian Mack mack@thenervemagazine.com The Getaway Driver (a/k/a Production Manager) Pierre Lortie
production@thenervemagazine.com
2 Bit Rounder (a/k/a Editorial Assistant) Ryan Calvery, Sean Law
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Weapons Cleaner (a/k/a Article Editor) Jon Azpiri, Shawn Conner
Surveillance Team (a/k/a Photographers) Laura Murray, Jeremy Van Nieuwkerk, Miss Toby Marie Launderer (a/k/a Book Editor) J. Pee Patchez
Shotgun (a/k/a Film Editors) Managing Film Editor: Michael Mann Contributing Film Editor: Jackie Dives Map and Details (a/k/a Skate Shreditors) D-Rock and Miss Kim
The Henchmen (a/k/a Design & Graphics) Pierre Lortie, Annie Totalenkrieg, Chris Trudeau
The Muscle (a/k/a Staff Writers) Atomick Pete, A.D. MADGRAS, Cowboy TexAss, Casey Bourque, Sinister Sam, Adler Floyd, Aaronoid, Billy Hopeless, D-Rock and Miss Kim, Michael Mann, Adrian Mack, Jake Poole, Max Crown, 8Ball, Carl Spackler, Richard Murray, E.S Day, David Bertrand Girl Friday (a/k/a Subscriptions/Mailouts) Sue Hobler
Fire Insurance (a/k/a Advertising/Marketing Dept.) Brad Damsgaard, Kevin Angel, Kristin Lamont advertise@thenervemagazine.com Cover Photo OmerCordell
Out-of-town Connections (a/k/a Distribution and Street Team) Calgary: Rick Overwater, Mike Taylor. Edmonton: Freecloud Records Graeme MacKinnon, Lindsey McNeill. Winnipeg: Phil and Ryan of Steel Capped Records, Victoria/Whistler: Jono Jak, Lindsay Seattle/Bellingham: Frank Yahr
The Nerve is published monthly by The Nerve Magazine Ltd. The opinions expressed by the writers and artists do not necessarily reflect those of The Nerve Magazine or its editors. The Nerve does not accept responsibility for content in advertisements. The Nerve reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or submission and accepts no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or artwork. All content © Copyright The Nerve Magazine 2004
The Nerve Magazine 508 - 825 Granville St. Vancouver, B.C. V6Z 1K9 604.734.1611 www.thenervemagazine.com
15
KEITH LEVENE 15
They said, “don’t ask him about PiL.” So we asked him about PiL.
FEAR FACTORY 13
Lock up your burgers! They’re coming back!!!
TELEPATHIC BUTTERFLIES 21 Mack’s continuing journey into homosexuality.
ELECTRIC FRANKENSTEIN 11 Sean Law tells you how not be an asshole. Real nice.
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CARNAL FORGE 17
These Swedish heartthrobs want you to feel the awesome power of their love, as expressed through the magic of song.
LADY DRUMMERS 16
It’s so cute the way they move their little arms!
CINEMUERTE 30
Kier-la is back! Let’s try to not fuck it up this time.
Off the Record 23
Run Chico Run, The Futureheads, Unleashed, The Paybacks...
Live Wires 22
Beastie Boys, The Black Keys, Thin Lizzy, The Killers...
What Were You Thinking? Worst cd of the month 25 Adrian Mack is an Idiot Marginally offensive 10 Casie’s Q&A 9 Skate Spot 26 Ainsworth 25 Film 29 Crossword/Comics 35
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OCTOBER 26 COMMODORE DOORS DOORS 7PM 7PM TICKETS TICKETS ALSO ALSO AT AT SCRAPE SCRAPE
OCTOBER 29 VOGUE THEATRE
DOORS 7:00PM, SHOW 7:30PM TICKETS ALSO AT ZULU AND SCRATCH
ENTER TO WIN
Email Email win@thenervemagazine.com win@thenervemagazine.com (put (put the the name name of of the the show show in in the the subject subject line) line) for for your your chance chance to to win win aa pair pair of of tickets tickets to to one one of of these these concerts. concerts. Winners Winners will will be be drawn drawn 11 week week before before the the concert concert date. date.
THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 6
CHEAP SHOTZ
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Sir Arthur
can Trust! It took a further 5 hours just to get inside the office and when we did, there he was. On the answering machine. He sounded quite polite, as it happens. An inconsolable 8 Ball described the sensation thus-wise: “wet, quite alarming, circular in nature and in my ass.”
…It Was THIS Big!
Rick James versus Napolean
Rick James Autopsy Report: Heart Failure. Traces of Xanax, Methamphetamine, Wellbutrin, Celexa, Vicodin, Valium, Cocaine, Digoxin, and Chlorpheniramine
Napolean Autopsy Report: Multiple internal abscesses causing blood poisoning leading to kidney, liver and heart failure. Cardiac Arrhythmia. Stomach cancer. Liver cancer. Kidney cancer. Gonorrhea. Diarrhea. Syphilis. Sisyphus. Chronic Advanced Diverticulitis. Brain Fistulas. Lurgee. Dry Cap. The Rheum. Arsenic poisoning. Lead poisoning. Mercury poisoning. Chinese Pig Flu. Weak Knees. Headaches. Dengue Fever. Typhoid. Crapulosis. Leprosy. Rabies. Periodontal Recession. Pleurisy. Gangrene. Gum Legs. Tremors. Polio. Jamaican Finger. The Bends. Septicemic Plague. Gas.
Danny Danger Survives Massive Fart
According to the Nerve Insider, Red Hot Lover’s Danny Danger was mercilessly attacked by a certain other Nerve Insider’s ass while passed out on a couch in Whistler, recently. Though considered by many to be the Nabob of Male Sensuality, Danger is possibly a big girl’s blouse who can’t hold his liquor. Having already puked on himself after a single Guava Bellini, Danger slipped into a coma during a party celebrating the band’s successful arrival at a party. Meanwhile, somebody who cannot be named (Brad) stuck his big white can on Danger’s head and administered an air shit the size of Tokyo. (Reuters)
This foot, your ass. Time is money, losers. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! Mr. Gene didn’t get this far sitting on his solid gold ass waiting for you schlubs to get your drug taking shit together.
P
The One That Got Away…
lop! That’s the sound we heard when fate stepped up and planted its long and horned tongue in the already well slackened and pink-hued Nerve-hole. Here was an RJ of almost biblical proportions. Like the RJ that God handed down to Job. Or the RJ that Abraham endured when he was ordered to murder his own child (again, by that miserable bugger God). And how about getting stabbed to death by your dad? Like that’s not a douche mingled with an RJ. None of this compares though to the big old tongue we were forced to lower ourselves onto last Sunday. With only a few days till publication who should step up to the plate for the Nerve interview of his life? That’s right! Mr. Chaim Witz, star of Runaway, Trick or Treat, television’s Third Watch, and beloved bassist with top rock ‘n’ roll musical band The Kiss. In his guise
as Gene Simmons, of course, Mr. Witz has never bowed before the nay-sayers who claim he could sink no further. We thought we’d have a go anyway so with a fearless 8 Ball primed, loaded and cocked like a great Gatlin Gun of Nerve-y salaciousness, we set about our task like thin-lipped Djangos of Yellow Journalism. No second hand rumour would be left unexamined, no mind-boggling journey into perversion and under-age sex would be ignored, no pocket of light would be undimmed, no opportunity for bad-taste would be missed. This would be the Nerve interview to end all Nerve interviews.
So when the key to the Nerve’s office broke off in the lock, and Sir Arthur and 8 Ball were left standing outside holding Vanilla Lattes and each other’s dicks like two guys out of a porno version of Samuel Beckett, well… it became the tonguing to end all tonguings, appropriately enough. Professional! Reliable! The Team you
Michael Mann Kissed Gently by Sir Arthur
It’s been a long, hot month in Nerveland. Anything that could go wrong did, and anything that didn’t also did. It was that kind of month. Putting all that behind us, Brad and Sir Arthur enjoyed a bucolic evening in Geneva to celebrate the arrival of new Film Section Editor Michael Mann. Michael, a toilet dancer from way back, wrestled manfully with the rigours of sharing a single pencil in an office accessible only by a window on the fifth floor. Laughing off obstacles that included our deep suspicion of his abilities, Michael produced some of the finest work we’ve ever seen at the very back of this not very substantial monthly. Sadly, Michael’s diminuitive physiology left him ill-prepared for the Swiss mountaintop antics of the super elite and he was forced to retire a little earlier than expected. Tucking him in, Sir Arthur placed a gentle kiss on Michael’s forehead and tenderly stroked his hair till sleep finally came. Knowing what’s best for everybody, he then threw all of Michael’s obscure and frankly horrible “Hippity-Hoppity” cds out of the penthouse window while Brad took pictures of his little wiener. So, welcome aboard!
You Have 3 New Messages, first message....
Sent: Sunday, Sept 26th at 9:55am “Hello, this is Gene Simmons, I’ll try you later. (click)” Sent: Tursday, Sept 9th at 11:30pm. “I always enjoy the way you people write your stories. (hic) So thank you for writing and, uh, (hic) distributing your magazine. (click) drunk and anonymous. Sent: Thursday, September 9th at 11:14 pm Hey Brad, It’s Harley from Deadbolt, calling from the “other” border. Hey man, you know, I don’t think we’re going to make it up there before this year. I gotta go to Arizona and do a contract on the(m) Vienamese (not sure if he said that or V.P.s or something else). But hey, let me give you my cell number, it’s 858-883-****. But we definitely want to get up there and make everything legal, so they don’t turn us around at the border, again. Ok guy, talk to you soon. (click)
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Navarre_Metal ad_NERVE
9/24/04
9:32 AM
Page 1
DRY KILL LOGIC Three years after the release of their punishing disc "The Darker Side of Nonsense," Dry Kill Logic (formerly known as Hinge) is back with a new album and a new approach. "The Dead and Dreaming", produced by Scrap 60 (Anthrax, H2O, Ill Nino, Cradle of Filth) is the band's most cohesive and dynamic offering to date. North American Tour this fall. In Stores October 26 Go to www.drykilllogic.com for tour and band updates.
GWAR - War Party GWAR is once again rising from the depths of hell in 2004 to permanently claim their place as one of the most influential metal bands of all time. "War Party" represents GWAR'S first studio album in over three years and their ninth studio album overall. Produced by Glen Robinson (Probot, Voivod, Queensryche), the album finds the band returning to their classic metal roots with a vengeance - displaying a power and intensity that will have GWAR fans roaring with approval. Tour Dates Nov Nov Nov Nov Nov Nov
02 03 04 22 23 24
-
Club Soda - Montreal, QU Capital Music Hall - Ottawa, ON Opera House - Toronto, ON Red's Entertainment Complex - Edmonton, AB MacEwan Hall Ballroom - Calgary, AB In Commodore Ballroom, Vancouver, BC
Stores October 26
FU MANCHU New Fu!!! First album of new material in almost four years. On tour this fall and watch for November/December dates with Clutch. Includes songs, “Written In Stone” and I’m Gettin’ way”.
On Tour Monday October 4 Toronto, Ontario Mod Club In Stores NOW www.fu-manchu.com
UFC PRESENTS ULTIMATE BEATDOWNS VOL.1 METAL Ultimate Beatdowns is the perfect companion to the Ultimate Fighting Championship's high energy and power. The album features tracks from metal powerhouses Slipknot, DamagePlan, Sepultura, and Hatebreed – along with previously unreleased songs from Chimaira, Sepultura, American Head Charge, and Icepick. www.drtentertainment.com In Stores NOW As heard on THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 8
.icebergradio.com
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Casey’s Q & A
Ja y
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Ca se Ch y! ris ” th ta in g Z: rig “A ht w, no fu w. ck Ca I c n an’ It tt ell hi Jo yo nk e: u of wa *A lat an iti s er yng of ?” fo S e r a pt n . 28 an t sw h@ er … 7p m . I’m Tr sti av ll is (m y br ot he r): “C as ey Lo og er !”
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Se Jo an h L Ka nny aw rm W (le ala og ft) de gle “It !” s ( ’s rig un ht pri ) “ nt Ca ab se le! y ”
an d
“I’ve decided I no longer wanna be called “Casey Cougar” - what should I be called instead???”
What do YOU think I should be called? Send your suggestions to: editor@thenervemagazine.com
The Coug’s been hibernating - did you miss me? I’ve been resting up to save my energy coz I’m making a lot of changes, one of which involves ditching the “Cougar” moniker. Why, you ask? I figure since the guy I’m screwing is only 4yrs younger than me, that name is no longer appropriate. Therefore I consulted with some pals:
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Column
W
Adrian Mack is an Idiot By Adrian Mack
ell, I was kicked outta the Bernardo/Homolka Yahoo group. I’ve been a member for some time under the flimsy reasoning that it might give me something to write about. I guess it did coz here we are. In the early nineties, Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka sexually tortured and killed three teenage girls, including Karla’s youngest sister. In a trial that was celebrated for a number of reasons, Karla was let off the hook while her husband got life. The subsequent outrage was focused on the so-called “Deal with the Devil,” referring to the shortened prison sentence Karla received in exchange for her testimony against Paul. She should be out of jail by next summer and the Crown has still not answered any of the persistent calls for some sort of accountability in the affair, especially since new evidence that surfaced during the trial strongly indicated Karla’s culpability. This is where the story gets juicy, of course. When news of some videotapes containing stomachturning proof of the couples’ guilt first surfaced, ardent and morally retarded gorehounds like myself became really interested. More than ten years later, of course, I’m appalled at the tasteless and tactless shit that I was and I’ve scaled my unwholesomeness down to a much more acceptable level of prurience. But it’s still prurience and that’s what I kept bringing up to the people on that message board – that for all their hand-wringing, and their academic dissembling and outrage over the abuse of victim’s rights, they were still, you know, hanging out on the Bernardo/Homolka message board. Their defence, in a nutshell: better us than a bunch of real perverts! This was huffily argued with the exaggerated grimness of beleaguered Knights, implying that their souls had been selflessly offered in the name of the public good. Predictably, there were more than a few of them with a healthy interest in the notorious videotapes, which depicted in unsparing detail the sexual assaults committed against the three deceased girls along with some footage of another victim, known simply as Jane Doe. Jane Doe survived the ordeal though she has no memory of it – she was drugged unconscious the whole time. The original tapes were destroyed with much fanfare recently but our moral sentinels over on the message board seem pretty convinced that there are duplicates. It’s plausible enough – Bernardo’s first lawyer, a real weirdo by the name of Ken Murray, concealed their existence for the first six months of the investigation. It was during this time that Karla, who was shown much kindness by no less than the hand of fate itself, struck the deal that ensured her freedom. When those tapes did eventually emerge, Karla was finally uncovered. Her willing, indeed her lip-smacking involvement was clear for all to see. Well… it was clear to those who were permitted to view the tapes at any rate. This select group of about sixty people included lawyers, jurors and police. The extent of the brutality on display was such that anybody who saw the tapes was THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 10
offered counseling subsequently. One of the livelier debates on the board concerned the rumour that Japanese collectors had scored copies for something like $50,000 US. I found this interesting for a couple of reasons; firstly because us Western Porn Addicts love hanging the sickest shit on the Japanese. My cyber-pals were apoplectic, of course! They insisted on their right to seize and review the tapes. Again, in the unlikely guise of concerned citizens and with strident condemnations of the crimes, they would fantasize about watching and judging Karla all by themselves. I tried to argue once that our interest in Karla grew out of our own sexual fascination with her. She was gorgeous! An All-Canadian Suburban hottie – albeit with appalling style (Beaver Canoe). She was apparently willing to do anything and take it anywhere, up to and including a dead girl’s hand in her snatch. More than that, the feeling among most of us is that Karla was actually the real motivator in all this sickness. Paul was merely a pathetic, runof-the-mill sexual sadist. He had even worse style than her, if that’s conceivable, modeling himself after, get this, Vanilla Ice, and fervently working on his home made demo under the awesomely dumbass name MC Hype. Paul eventually unraveled in grand style, his unsturdy brain overtaken by events. Karla, weirdly, grew stronger and stronger and her court appearances were masterpieces of personal strength in the face of unyielding denunciation. She had already won – she had pulled the wool over the eyes of the entire legal community, even after showing up at the crime scene, two cops and video camera in tow, wearing a schoolgirl outfit replete with white knee socks that matched almost exactly the uniform worn by one of their victims. Her flagrancy is and was mind-boggling. She’s the perfect medium for a very deep male fear concerning the witchy mind control talents latent in women (or so it seems to the paranoid western porn addict, anyway). On top of that, she’ll probably stick her finger in your ass while you’re slaughtering schoolgirls at her behest and it’s a queasy thrill that you can’t ignore. She is the very definition of power in the wrong hands and the ironic thing is, I got kicked out of the Yahoo group because I was bitching about George Bush! I felt pretty awful about it, as it was rather dramatic and public - the whole group was shut down actually but I was singled out for my aggressive behaviour. It came about because I was in a bad mood and I was sick of those freaks calling for the return of capital punishment which in turn blew up into a full scale argument about the war and I finally had them sussed as the bloodthirsty and craven hypocrites they actually were. All the while, I was happy to confess that I’ve had wet dreams about Karla, which is miraculous as both my balls were shot off during a school play that went wrong back in ‘83. But witchy old Karla could still squeeze it out of me like no murderous sexopath before or since and I took this little puzzle to the experts only to find that honesty was not in their mandate.
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S
Music
al Canzonieri is an industrious fellow. As one of two guitarists in the band he founded 13 years Classical music is just a museum art… It’s great but you’re still going to ago, he has lead Electric Frankenstein see it like you’re viewing an anomaly or a museum piece. But Rock’n’Roll around the world, spreading the gospel outlasted every style and everybody that said, “Rock’n’Roll is Dead”. When of REAL Rock’n’Roll to a broad crossProdigy said it they disappeared fast. When the guy from Smashing section of fans. Hailing from New Pumpkins said it, what happened? Within months they broke up and Jersey, EF is heavily influenced by The disappeared. And who is he now? Nothing. So what’s still around? Misfits, The Dead Boys and Sal’s childRock’n’Roll. So who’s still around? Us. How many bands are hood fascination with the notion of meldby Sean Law around from 13 years ago? Only the Rock bands: John ing B-Movie horror imagery with aggresSpencer, Rob Zombie, etc… the thing is, the Real sive Rock’n’Roll music. EF is remarkable Rock’n’Roll bands are doing it because they love to play for their approach to poster art and cover and these other bands are just following the trend of graphics. Most of the notable graphic what’s popular… but they don’t do works of Art. artists in the Rock’n’Roll scene have Really good Rock songs or albums are good forworked with them. These images are now ever… Because Rock’n’Roll is exciting, it’s a collected together in the book Electric physical thing… It’s like a Zen thing where the Frankenstein (Dark Horse Press). physical becomes spiritual: you have an ecstatReaching Sal by phone in New Jersey we ic experience. Only Rock’n’Roll, I think, can spoke of many things, some of which deliver that. follows… Nerve: Of all the images in the EF book are Nerve: How’s response to the book? there any that you are particularly Sal: It’s been really good; the reviews have fond of? been really high up there. The letters and eSal: Nobody can deny how great the Coop mails I’ve been getting are either fans who posters are… Culturally the stuff I like the said they’re so glad that they could get most is stuff like Johnny Ace because it’s got everything in one place or fans of just the Art the Big Daddy Roth feeling, Alan Forbes, who love the book just for the art itself even Mark Arminski… Part of the EF idea was to though they didn’t know who we pull together everything that influenced us were. from all different time periods, like books Nerve: Your Vancouver gig will be your first and artwork. An MC5 poster influenced our separated; when we here, but you have played in other sound, because it made (us) feel a certain do a show they’re all parts of Canada. How’s that been? way, those colors and the drawing style, it together. That was the Sal: I’ve never had a bad show, knock on has a lyrical feel to it. So the art is musical in itself. That inspires you to whole point in the band wood! I always tell people from the US and create music that you would think would have fit that poster… our song in the first place: to pull it Europe that Canada is one of the best “Speed Girl”is my idea of a Detroit style of song. all together, after the Rock’n’Roll places to play in the world. Nerve: You’ve been involved in R’n’R for a long time, on either side of major labels deliberately Nerve: I understand that you only play out on the stage. Are there any shows that stand out in memory as being the best? chopped everybody up weekends? Sal: Black Flag were totally amazing. The Misfits too, it always felt like into little pieces so they Sal: Yeah, for a couple of reasons. One is due to they were all gonna jump on your head at any second. That was could control the market. jobs, two is the way that the music business has Hardcore: everybody was so angry because everybody hated Reagan. Nerve: You hold a Black changed and the economic situation has changed Like now with the Anti-Bush thing. Belt. What is your daily everywhere. It’s not feasible for small, medium regimen? or even big bands to tour. Gasoline is double or Electric Frankenstein play Vancouver for the first time on Thursday Sal: I eat healthy, I take triple what it was, hotels go up because of that. October 21st – if you don’t go you are an asshole. tons of vitamins, and I Clubs are not paying anymore than they did in teach Kung Fu. I just came back from my class a cou1980; it’s not much more. So we fly out to do ple of hours ago. I have classes with my teacher, these shows on the weekend because more people who teaches teachers. I practice empty-hand forms, go out. We do these exclusive shows in exclusive then I practice self-defense, then I practice weapons. areas within a 50 mile or 100 mile radius and that The class I’m teaching is learning to use the staff. My way people will gravitate to the one show, instead style is Shuai Jiao, the art of takedowns, it looks like of spreading yourself thin. The stupid thing about grappling kind of, or Judo, but Shuai Jiao came first. touring is you’re only playing half an hour or hour It’s what all Martial Arts are based on… to the next show, and there’s not that many Nerve: Considering your background with The (origpeople that are able to sustain a lot of scenes, inal) Misfits I’m curious to know if you had any comthey’re gonna pick one of them, so it cuts your ment or observations on the Danzig ‘incident’ in audience. You wind up playing big cities on the Arizona. weekdays and small towns on the weekend, when it Sal: I know (Glenn) studied with one of Bruce Lee’s should be the opposite. students. I saw in the video that he wasn’t really Nerve: Do you consider yourselves a New York band expecting it. It was the club’s fault that the stage-gear or a New Jersey band? was dismantled, not Glenn’s. The other guy (Danny) Sal: We feel we’re international because we’re playcame over cry-babying… and Glenn pushed him, ing every weekend, all over the world. It could be in which was a big mistake, Glenn shouldn’t have pushed Italy, then the next week Ohio, then England, then him… The way Glenn had his arm… you see, in my New York, so I don’t feel rooted... We live in New Martial Arts style we stand sideways, so the first thing Jersey but we don’t play in New Jersey. It’s not like I said to myself was: “Uh oh he’s standing forward, fullthe old days where we’d go see The Misfits, every on, if he puts his arm up he’s going to smother the (view month you’d go to see them; but how many bands of the) other guy’s arm”, and that’s what happened… were there then, 20? Now there’s like 20, 000 to see! Nerve: Is there any line-up or time period of EF that We go and play where people want. I don’t stay in one you’re particularly proud of? area: I’ve seen what happens to bands that do that, like Sal: Each line-up has had it’s own unique chemistry, part D-Generation. They were popular in the press, popular of the Electric Frankenstein idea; every Frankenstein in New York and Los Angeles. That’s it. They would do movie had a different actor playing him! That’s why a show anywhere else and there would be about five or we’ve had guest people too, like Rik L Rik (from Fsix people who keep up with the news and what’s cool Word). I really like this next record that’s coming out in etc… I’d rather be popular all over the world than to the spring. I think everything that we thought this band just be big where you’re from. should sound like musically came together finally. The Nerve: (at this point we had a discussion regarding the evolution of our sound into one that is really unique. terminology and styles of Rock’n’Roll, Garage Rock and I mean, you hear roots of Punk and Metal and Rock but Punk Rock.. Sal’s summary of EF’s place in it’s blended in together and become something of its own. same follows…) Every record has been getting there. Sal: It’s Rock’n’Roll. Part of the reason we’re called Nerve: This year and next year are viewed as being the Electric Frankenstein is that (fans of) Heavy Metal, Punk, unofficial 50-Year Hardcore, Rock’n’Roll, Classic Rock, Anniversary of Rock’n’Roll. Do you have any comment on Rockabilly, Garage, Progressive Rock etc; they all like this?Sal: The interesting thing is the fact that it’s outus. So all those different kinds of people that would be lasted everything.
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Music
FEAR FACTORY: SWEATSHOP REUNION
D
By E.S. Day
ark, brooding & haunting, LA’s Fear Factory embark on a new tour co-headlining with Lamb Of God, to support their fifth release Archetype. The band has gotten a make over with the recent departure of Dino Cazares, who’s been replaced by exStrapping Young Lad Byron Stroud. As for the sound? A more advanced and mature hybrid of their pioneering soundclash combining hardcore metal with industrial beats coupled with a penchant for melodic vocals and sprinkled with harmonic shards of glass courtesy of vocalist Burton C. Bell. Not lost are the brutal and primitive beats that are synonymous with the Fear Factory moniker, making this tour an interesting return to the club fold after their appearances on larger scale tours Over the phone from L.A I got to speak to vocalist Burton C. Bell about the latest incarnation of the group and his feelings about today’s music scene. And (you’re gonna hate me Nerve readers)…Hip-Hop!
Nerve: Will Fear Factory and Lamb Of God take turns headlining? Burton: We are co-headlining, that’s the way it’s advertised, that’s what the bill is – so we’ll be playing first. Nerve: You all have some form of Hip-Hop influence, from Cypress Hill, N.W.A. to Public Enemy and Beastie Boys, not to mention appearing with Vancouver’s own Swollen Members and Snoop Dogg. Will Fear Factory find those influences more prominent in future songs? Or are you trying not get mixed in with that Nu Metal genre? Burton: What we do on our own time is what we do. I mean there’s definitely many sides to the Fear Factory and there’s many sides to us. Individually…ah…it’s not just strictly heavy music. The reason why Fear Factory is so versatile is that we have so many sides to us. We are able to bring those sides to FF with the culmination of the members and differentiate each members likes and dislikes (he mentions off the record he is NOT a fan of Limp Bizkit. But then who is?). We’ve managed to create what FF is. Nerve: Speaking of Rap Metal I’m curious if the band listens to some of the original underground rap-rock like The Goats, Smokin Suckaz Wit Logic, Urban Dance Squad etc… and since you guys are the remix kings, how
about a Hip-Hop remix of some FF material or better yet a collaboration? Burton: I could hear “Edgecrusher” being remixed by maybe Muggs from Cypress Hill, I could hear it even being remixed by one of the guys from Swollen Members, but it would have to be tastefully done and can’t be cheesy. I mean for something to be remixed it would have to be done with a FF vibe Nerve: What are you views on the fact that Bodycount has now had another member die, raising the Bodycount to 3? Burton: (Laughs) I think maybe they picked the wrong name for a band (laughs) Nerve: How has the departure of Dino affected the band? Burton: Ahh, ya’ know, everyone’s gotta go they’re separate ways. I mean ya’ know people grow apart, and that’s with every relationship, every friendship and that’s working, business or personal. The departure with Dino has been a very positive thing for the rest of the members of FF cause we were able to continue. Nerve: How did Byron (ex-Strapping Young Lad) come into the mix? Burton: Uh, when it came time for us to search for a bass player he was the only person that we thought could play for FF and he was the only person we called. Nerve: For those who are curious, what happened with Roadrunner Records? Burton: Well we actually did a demo (due to contractual obligations) which is really the reason FF got back together. I mean when I initially left the band back in 2001ya’ know we all wanted to do our own thing but then Roadrunner was like “whatever you guys plan to do you’ve got to go through Roadrunner.” It was like… well shit! It was Raymond & Christian who approached me and said well, the best way to do this is to do a demo as FF, and I said the only way I’m gonna do a demo with FF... is without Dino. Nerve: How’s Liquid 8 (their new label) working out? Burton: Liquid 8 is working out fantastic, you know. They’re a very independent label, and they are really eager to break into a new genre. They have a lot of different types of bands and they are 100% behind us. Nerve: Any other soundtrack or video game appearances in the future? Burton : We are going to be appearing on a
soundtrack for a movie called… Saw that’s coming out through Lion’s Gate, starring Danny Glover Nerve: Speaking of movies what’s the last film you saw? Burton: Actually I’m just walking out of the theater as we’re speaking, from seeing Metallica’s Some Kind Of Monster Nerve: Really? I heard it was Some Kind Of Shitty Movie. Burton: No actually! It’s not shitty at all! Actually it’s kind of brilliant. It has its moments where I’m like, “I can’t believe they’re going through this!” I’m not at their position, but I can actually relate with what they’re struggling through. It was very interesting you know. It was a little bit heartfelt. I would recommend every musician go see it. Nerve: Has Fear Factory ever considered covering an old classic metal track from the early 80’s? And if so what would it be? Burton: You know what we are doing? Actually going through a bunch of songs but the only metal song that’s on the list? ...ahh.. I would love to do Black Sabbath’s “The Mob Rules”. Nerve: Will Raymond and the band be eating at Burger Heaven (New West) this trip? And am I invited? And more importantly are you guys buying? Burton: If you are bold enough to join Raymond on a feeding frenzy, you are more than welcome to join us and if you’re bold enough to keep up with Raymond…we’ll pay! (As a starving writer- I’m holding him to this) Nerve: I was told Vancouver was your fave place to play in Canada. Why? Burton: We’ve spent so much time in Vancouver. (Outside of the USA) it’s like a second home to us. With all the friends we’ve made up there, ya’ know - recording Obsolete and Fear Is The Mind Killer (and Remanufacture) going to Vancouver is just like a reunion with all our friends. Nerve: How was the Australian tour received? Burton: Oh my god it was fantastic! It was a great homecoming there as well. You know, we’ve spent so much time there. All the fans were very eager to see us and very welcoming – we had great time down there. Nerve: New live DVD in the works possibly? Burton: Uh… not live, but coming out in November were gonna put out a short DVD,
with 4 videos. It’s gonna have “Cyberwaste”, it’s gonna have “Archetype”, and another version of Archetype done by a completely different director. It’s also gonna have another video “Bite The Hand That Bleeds You” which will be the featured video for the movie Saw that’s coming out that’ll be released like in November or for an early Xmas release for like $8.00! Also you’re gonna get a limited edition poster with that DVD by an up and coming graphic artist named Ben Templesmith (Dark Horse). He’s done something really fucking cool for us. Nerve: What will be banging (music that is) on the FF tour bus on this trek? Burton: We are a listening to a new band called Mnemic from Denmark, the new Zeke. The new Ministry we are all listening to. I was banging the new Skinny Puppy… that’s all I can think of. Nerve: Any rabid fan stories? Burton: Uh… every day! I mean just kids coming up and you sign their arm and the next day it’s tattooed on them! I mean these fans come up and like they have every thing we’ve ever put out and they want us to sign all of it everything! And I will stand there for 15 minutes with each person and sign everything they’ve got. Nerve: If you could go back in time (’84 to be exact) and open for any band, who would it have been? Burton: Back in ’84? I would have to say, uh… AC/DC, Iron Maiden. I mean I’m such a fan of music - even U2! Nerve: Is FF going to (hopefully) stray away from politics or political agendas and just get on with the music? Burton: No. I don’t like to talk about politics. I hate going to a show and being fucking preached to. I just want to hear the fucking music! Nerve: What can Vancouver expect upon your arrival and do you have anything you’d like to say to your loyal Vancity fans? Burton: Vancouver - when we arrive, expect to hear FF at it’s finest, playing the best music from every album that we have ever had and it’ll be hard-hitting and passionate and it’ll hit straight to your soul. THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 13
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THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 14
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Music
Keith Levene Speaks of Riots and Punching Bags. By Chris Walter “Keith was one of the most talented fucking guitar players I’ve ever known. He made a guitar do things that were not supposed to be possible” (John Lydon, 2004)
W
hen Mack asked me if I wanted to interview legendary ex-Clash and PiL guitarist Keith Levene, I was a little nervous. After all, I (kind of) grew up listening to The Clash and Pil, and over the years those musicians reached an almost mythical status, not just with me, but with the punk world in general. What could I ask a fellow who had helped invent punk rock; who formed The Flowers of Romance with Sid Vicious and who would develop into such an innovative and original guitarist? I stayed up late pondering the problems ahead. I was scared. So, it was a wee bit anticlimatic when I squeezed myself into Mack’s broom closet of an office (honestly, a Porta-Potty has more elbowroom), and we made the transatlantic call. The phone rang and rang, and we finally got an answering machine that instructed us not to leave voice mail, but to leave a text message. Yeah, right, as if the Nerve has that kind of technology… I breathed a sigh of relief, almost happy not to wriggle like a fish on a hook while I struggled with my silly little questions. We set up another date with Keith’s publicist, but when I returned the following Friday to the splendor that is The Nerve headquarters, HE WASN’T HOME THIS TIME, EITHER! Well, I’ve been snubbed before, and by many people less worthy than Mr. Keith Levene. I mean, it was almost an honour. Finally, after much soul-searching, Mack and I decided to take one more kick at the can, and we arranged yet another date. This time, when I arrived with my jumbo coffee, I really wasn’t nervous at all, as I assumed he probably wouldn’t be home again. If I was a rock ‘n’ roller, I would NEVER answer the phone, not if my life depended on it. Amazingly, Keith did.
Keith: Hullo? Nerve: (after slight shocked pause) How are you, Keith? I’m glad we finally reached you. This is the interview that almost wasn’t. Keith: Huh? Nerve: Nevermind... I’ll get straight to the first question. You’ve got a new EP out. What made you decide to throw your hat back into the sordid and slimy ring that is modern rock? Keith (laughs) I’m really questioning that right now, okay? When I finished off the EP and started making this album, Titanium Dream, it was because I knew I had music better than anything I’d done with PiL, but now I’m really not digging the industry at all… Nerve: You’d forgotten what it was like? Keith: Actually, yeah (more laughs). And being a little older and a little wiser, I can see how fucking ridiculous the whole thing is. Nerve: To be honest, I’m a little confused with your latest EP. Did you write the songs as instrumentals, or did you plan to add vocals? Keith: Some of the songs will come out on Titanium Dream with vocals. There’s one called “Soundstage One” that was actually a track on a thing I made called Violent Opposition, but I was never really happy with it so I re-recorded it and called it “Soundstage One”, but it still wasn’t quite finished, but I said fuck it and put it out anyway. Eventually, it’ll have vocals. And “Object B”, the other rocky track, that’s supposed to have vocals on it as well. Nerve: Obviously, since you play most of the instruments yourself, you can’t tour to support the EP. Do you plan to start another band?
Keith: It’s weird––it’s turned into various floating bands. I tried to do a band, and it’s just become really difficult, and every time we had something, one of the main people would leave, and it would become impossible to maintain that band. So at the moment, I’ve got three floating things. Last week we were going to do this thing on the radio, but I’ve got a lot going on, and we just couldn’t do it. I would have used what I call the Subs and Daniel lineup, which is one of the best lineups I’ve ever used. I would have called it Murder Global. Nerve: So I guess there’s no chance of a North American tour? Keith: Well, it’s really difficult to say at the moment. It’s so hard to get a lineup together, keep it together. I can’t really see it happening in the near future. But it doesn’t mean I won’t be doing gigs here and there (in the UK), but there are other things taking precedent over that. Gigging helps to sell records, but the reason I play live is so that people who like what I do will have a chance to see me. I don’t really care if it sells records or not. Nerve: Don Letts is making a movie. Are you involved in this? Keith: I was going to be. I was talking to them about six or seven weeks ago, and I was supposed to go in… The last thing I heard was that he had shot about seventy hours of film and he had to edit it down to ninety minutes. I was going to be interviewed by him, but I don’t think I’m going to do it now. It sounds like I’ve got so much stuff that I couldn’t really have the impact that I’d wanna make. Nerve: Thirty seconds or something. Keith: Yeah, it’s no fucking good. And the last time he got footage of me, he really misused it to the nth degree, so I don’t really trust him. Nerve: Well, I guess that answers that question. Keith: Yeah. Nerve: I remember reading about a gig in NYC in 1981 where PiL played backstage and they showed a live video of it for the audience, who, understandably, rioted. What was the idea behind that? Keith: Oh, yeah, that was the Ritz Riot Gig, where we played behind a screen. That was my fault, because I was in New York, and we were really into video at the time. Y’know, it was a really fucking big deal to have a VHS machine; it was like, “Wow, he’s got a VHS machine!” To walk around filming a gig was a really big deal, unlike today, where you have a bunch of screens at every gig. But this machine they had in New York, I think there were three or four of them in the world, and I really dug the idea, cause it was like playing a gig inside a TV set, y’know like live interactive video. But it didn’t quite work out that way. It was interactive, but not so much in the video way. Later, we were getting lots of offers, saying, “We’ve got video monitors, come down and smash our club!” Nerve: Good publicity, I guess, heh heh. Keith: That’s what they wanted. Nerve: So it wasn’t a deliberate attempt to rile the crowd? Keith: (laughs) No, it was like the Ritz phoned us, and I guess some band had cancelled, so they asked us to play, and I said “Yeah, if we can use your video equipment.” We told them to bill it as a Public Image Video Gig, but they didn’t, and I guess all these kids showed up thinking Sex Pistols. They were really pissed off. We didn’t know that the kids had come from places like Brooklyn and Jersey, and they weren’t all part of the same rock. We were just these guys from London having a really great time. Anyway, the kids were shouting stuff like, “Where’s Steve?” It turned into this big bottle throwing thing. They were throwing bottles and chairs, anything they could get their hands on, at the screen. Then they were coming upstairs, backstage later, with their heads bleeding and stuff, going, “Wow, man! That was the greatest thing I’ve ever been involved in!” And we were like, “Oh, man, I’m so sorry about your head, and your eye!” They were going, “No, no, it’s cool! That was great!” Nerve: I wish I’d been there… (eyes mist over longingly). Anyway, you worked with John Lydon for a long time. Did you ever get the urge to punch his lights out? Keith: Well, maybe around the time I left the band, yeah. But John was a very cool, hip guy. I mean, how old are you? Nerve: Uh, (cough, cough) I’m forty-four. I’m an old fuck. I bought Never Mind the Bollocks when it first came out… Keith: So you’ve been around, and so has John, but lately he’s been making a bit of a twit out of himself. But when he first came around, he was a very hip, interesting guy. He was too funny to want to hit, you know? Nerve: Really? (laughs) Keith: But I can see where you’re coming from. Nerve: Well, I guess we’ve racked up the phone bill enough. This is where I give you the opportunity to plug your upcoming projects. Keith: I can’t do that. It’s all very top-secret stuff. THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 15
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“You’re a really good drummer. For a CHICK!” - by Casey Most bands will tell you finding a good drummer is the hardest part of forming a band and they’re right. Drummers provide the heartbeat of every song, yet rarely get the props they deserve. Female drummers are probably the least appreciated of all, which REALLY burns my toast. I recently talked to 3 of my fave Vancouver drummers - who all happen to be “chicks”- and here’s what they had to say.
Shelby Stocks plays drums in the Organ. Their next Vancouver show is Oct. 8th with Black Mountain @Pat’s Pub.
Casey: How long have you been playing drums? Shelby: Only for 3 years now! It’s funnysometimes I feel like I can’t play for shit and I’m worse than when I first sat down & did it…I’m feeling much more confident these days but I still have LOTS of work to do… It would have been cool if I had started as a kid but at the same time, I definitely have a style. I find it interesting because there’s so much I can’t do (yet) so I have to find ways to be creative. Casey: Why do you think drummers rarely get the credit they deserve as musicians? Shelby: I’m not sure…I think because you’re in the back (of the group/stage) nobody pays attention which helps me glide through shows more easily. Ever since I started going to rock shows the drummer has always been the only one I watch because that’s what I wanted to do. I think (most often) drummers watch drummers; it’s like “wow that’s cool!” seeing different styles. I think people think the drummer is the fuck-up and they just kinda show up… It’s funny, I don’t think many people realize that if you’re the drummer and you fuck up a song; tempowise, miss a beat or you backflip it or whatever, that’s it! No one can recover, but if the guitar player fucks up you can keep it going. Casey: There’s that stigma - “chicks can’t play drums”- what the fuck, why do people say that? Shelby: I think in general, there’s an attitude that women can’t play music as well as men. They think a woman can front a band, sing or play bass but she can’t rock the guitar or play drums or have 5 women get together and make decent music…We’ve had some really creepy, threatening letters and emails from guys - I don’t know if they’re pissed coz they’ve been doing music so long and never got anywhere and we’re a bunch of girls - why are we getting so much attention? That’s debatable too - the fact The Organ is 5 women OBVIOUSLY has something to do with it. Casey: What advice do you have for other people who are just starting out? Shelby: Just do it, for yourself. The best thing I ever did was buy a drum kit but if I wasn’t having fun I don’t think I’d do it anymore. It’s nice to be appreciated but it’s not everything. If we just played locally and never got this kind of attention across Canada, I think we’d still be pumping it out. Juli plays drums in Black Rice, Evol Hearted and (sometimes) All Purpose. Black Rice are having their CD release for Contact on Oct 8th @Lamplighter. They are going on a cross Canada tour starting Oct 15th. THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 16
ying pla t r sta de 6 ou gra all the id y n I d but go. hen rs a e flute rcus- coz : W a y e e pe th st 2y Cas s? d 1 o play t with s at fir aying e m t r u dr I sta ted t I wen sciou ed pl t : e n Juli I wa did so elf con I star ut ther d . s b n s e ba -girl as so nois way , aside a y s a girl … I w much right r band e had s, o w w e n e s l sio akes peop le oth here d sho mie w r o p y m , e d u a t l w i th a co no orld d, p ho e wit e only I’m in actice s of w u’v r t yo wer the 2 nt… p s, idea n e t plim from mitme set lis ta , com t I ge I s com songs e t b u b d e had on… at’s th e an ited nce lly nic elled o c nati ey: Wh ? sw ds uy rea n Cas gotte it soun ts, it’s a big ce a g an, h m n r t , n “ eve Well lime nd wi hs) O said, p rou : n i g l r d m u u u n o J to t idn’t ! (la ds a lk a of c lot ys wa a show terwar nd girl you d in’ a t f alw after me a he sou alized ust hit d e t j o r t a he e up a ask but I were cam s gonn snare e, you a n r I w n you ropho c w i o m d ea hav
so hard!” Casey: Why do you think drummers rarely get the credit they deserve as musicians? Juli: We’re hiding in the back all the time. No one can see us. The guitar player’s up front, the singer’s in yer face. The drummer’s gotta stay in the back and keep it together. We’re the underdogs! Casey: There’s that stigma -“chicks can’t play drums”- what the fuck, why do people say that? Juli: I used to get really offended when people would say “you’re pretty good…for a chick”. Fuck you, I’m just a drummer! Why do you have to say chick??? Rock ‘n’Roll was such a boys club for so long and the only girls who made it big were novelty acts, really. There’s not that many good female musicians featured prominently in the mainstream. There’s The Distillers: Brody playing guitar with an all boy band in a low-cut top with her tits hanging out. Yeah, that’s really great for us! Casey: What advice do you have for people who are just starting out? Juli: Stick with it. There’s lots of awkward points where you’re like, gawd, am I gonna get any better? It’s the first part when you’re learning that it’s really exciting because you have so much to conquer but once you start to build your style, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut. Start listening to all kinds of music, don’t limit yourself cos if you only listen to punk rock, you’ll only be able to play punk rock. Mix it up all the time.
CC Rose plays drums in The Cinch and Vancougar. She also plays piano in Christa Min. The Cinch play on Oct. 15th @UBC for a CITR fundraiser.
Casey: How long have you been playing drums? CC: 18 years-since I was 11. I took piano and guitar lessons as a kid but I was more interested in playing drums when I started forming bands. Now that I’m playing piano in a band (Christa Min) it’s so awesome. It’s funny how the two instruments play off each other. They’re both percussion you’re hitting the piano but it’s more melodic, hitting notes rather than just rhythms. Casey: Why do you think drummers rarely get the credit they deserve as musicians? CC: Coz we’re sitting down in the back. I was in an interview where the interviewer said, “I’m not necessarily interested in the opinions of the bass player or the drummer as much as the guitar player or singer.” I was so offended by that! I was like, why??? Why do you think the drummer has less to say about the band? I’m not in any singersongwriter groups who have one leader who does everything; it’s more collaborative, but the drummers always get dumped on. Casey: There’s that stigma -“chicks can’t play drums”- what the fuck, why do people say that? CC: I think it’s male insecurities. I think people who haven’t had much exposure to girl bands or drummers have this perception that playing drums takes force and think women don’t have the strength. The one thing people say to me a lot is “wow, I can’t believe how hard you hit your drums!” And I do but it’s my style. Any girl can play that hard… I think it has a lot to do with confidence too. Casey: What advice do you have for people who are starting out? CC: Just keep doing it. The only way to get good at anything is to do it and not put too much pressure on yourself. Play with other people. Becoming a good musician is all about learning to feed off of other people.
CARNAL FORGE
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Here we can see the members of Carnal Forge gathered solemnly around the flashlight, as is the custom in Sweden.
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By Dave Bertrand
Kill the head and the body will die.” – Ingvar Kamprad (Ikea Founder/World’s Richest Man) Now in case you didn’t know, Sweden has been blessing us with a seemingly unending boom of top-notch metal for over ten years now. Those wise metal gurus At the Gates set the precedent back in 1995 with the seminal Slaughter of the Soul album, proving that melody and mid-paced tempos can segue beautifully with dissonant high-octane death metal thrash-mastery. Sadly, those glorious pioneers internally combusted just as they’d reached their peak, but how their legacy looms large! Just as that conniving slut Helen of Troy had a face that launched a thousand ships, so too did At the Gates launch or alter the careers of seemingly a billion bands (actually 22 536, if my CD review last issue is anything to go by. Hint: it isn’t), all of them using the sounds of Slaughter... as their blueprint. Let’s see… The Crown, Darkane, The Haunted, Arch Enemy, In Thy Dreams, In Flames, Soilwork, just to name a few. All taking the initial idea but pulling it into different directions… The boys in Carnal Forge though pretty much take their ugly step-child straight up the middle: thrashy, fast, violent, chock-full of razor-blade riffery. Not likely to win any special badges for originality, but damn if they don’t do what they do and do it well. Well, the Forge has just come out with a new release, Aren’t You Dead Yet? and just as all seemed wondrous and jolly in the Carnal Forge camp, that sneaky frontman Jonas Kjellgren signs his own pink slip. What is a crew of Swedish skull-crushers to do? Grab a buddy to fill in and truck on, of course. Bass master Lars Linden gives me the gory details…
Lars: It was kind of a shock when Jonas left the band, just with no warnings really. It was my last day on holiday in Spain and Stefan called me and said, “Well Lars, um… Jonas left the band.” “I don’t believe you. Fuck you, I need to pack my bags!” So at first we were kind of
shocked, but after trying out some vocalists, we decided to try Jens (Mortensen)… and everything was really comfortable. He’s a little different than Jonas of course, but I mean, maybe it’s good for Carnal Forge to have a little change. Mix stuff up a little bit for the next album, I think that’s pretty good. It feels very good. Nerve: Have you guys played live with him yet? Lars: Not yet, we’re just rehearsing. It’s like a crash course in Carnal Forge (laughs). He’s really busy now learning all the lyrics… the weekend after next we go on the European tour with Pro-Pain.
different concerts… Lars: Yeah, there’s some bootleg shit from when we were in Japan, from Tokyo, and then there’s some stuff from the gig in New York, on the Metal Gods Tour.
With Halford, Testament, Immortal, Primal Fear, and Amon Amarth in attendance, the illfated Metal Gods Tour was set to be the ultimate in glory-soaked metallic hooliganism. It was also going to be Carnal Forge’s big splash in the U.S. of A. But… Nerve: How was that show? Lars: It was fucking excellent until it was fucking cancelled! (laughs) It was just awesome,
I mean working with these real maniacs, you like never know if you’ll get a fork in your shoulder, or a knife in your back.
Nerve: You do all the artwork for the band. Did you come up with the bullet-hole cover? (In case you haven’t seen it, the new album has an actual hole poked through the center of the booklet! Right in the brain of the unlucky corpse who got picked as the Carnal Forge cover model. Ouch!) Lars: No, that was like the first one I didn’t do, ‘cause I was working on the artwork for the DVD, and at the same time we were heading into the studio where I work as a producer, so I mean I didn’t have time. We let Century Media find someone to fix the cover for the new one. It’s one of those ideas that when you come up with them, they can either look like complete shit or they can turn out pretty cool, and I think we got away with this one. Nerve: You’ve got a new DVD too. I think it’s really cool that the main concert is from Poland. It’s always Live in London or Live in New York or whatever, but Live in Krakow? Sweet! Plus the DVD has footage from three
but we had to go home after ten days instead of six, seven weeks, so that was kind of shitty. Nerve: I remember the first time I heard about Carnal Forge was around Please…Die! and I remember reading an interview saying that a bunch of you guys worked in a mental institution or something. Did that really happen? Lars: Yeah, that’s true. Nerve: Yeah? How many people in the band was that? Lars: Three of the guys. Jari (Kuusisto, guitar), Petri (also Kuusisto, also guitar), and Stefan (Westerberg, drums) they all work with crazy people. Nerve: (laughs) Lars: But it got a little bit too much, with all these criminally insane people, so now they quit their jobs there, and right now they’re just taking care of elderly people and… what do you say? Demented people. (I listened to this part of the tape about ten times, and I swear he says demented. Isn’t that the same as crazy? Is
photo: Jonas Hilberg
Music
he saying that the elderly are insane? Is he right? Is this a comical Swedish error? What is a carnal forge anyway?) I mean working with these real maniacs, you like never know if you’ll get a fork in your shoulder, or a knife in your back. They got kind of tired of that. Nerve: There are a LOT of good bands in Sweden, but so many of them play generally within the same style of melodic death and thrash. How do you feel about that? How would you say that Carnal Forge really stands apart from everybody? Lars: To be honest, I don’t really care about that. I don’t pay attention. Ummm…I think I really touched a nerve here. A definite coldness came over the phone line. It was a damn fair question though I thought. Anyhow…
Lars: I only focus on Carnal Forge, I don’t really give a damn about other bands really. Of course, I know there’s a lot of good bands coming up and it’s good to have a thrash scene in Sweden, but I don’t really listen to that kind of music myself. Nerve: You have another project going called Leech. How does that compare to Carnal Forge? Lars: Aaaaaahhh…… well, (laughs) now that Jens Mortensen is the vocalist (for CF), I mean he’s the vocalist in Leech, and now it’s just one member that differs, the lead guitarist. That’s like a second Carnal Forge! It’s kind of weird.
So now it seems we have not one, but TWO Carnal Forge’s to toast our nuts. A good thing, I think. Check out www.carnalforge.com, peruse the Leech demos, and pass judgment on the new guy as you see fit. Sadly there are no North American tour plans as of yet, but maybe if we all set our phones to auto-dial and swamp the piss out of the phone lines at Century Media, we’ll get our wicked way just yet! Continue the Swedish Invasion! We welcome you Vikings with open arms! THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 17
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The Sound of Two Catholic Schoolgirls in a Knife Fight
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By Emily Kendy
etween Hamilton and the Niagara River, in Southwest Ontario, lies the small city of St. Catherines. Until three years ago, St. Catherines’ main claim to fame has been Karla Homolka, a convicted apprentice to murder who, along with her partner Paul Bernardo, raped and killed three teenage girls. Now, a less horror-show act has emerged to put the city back in a more favorable spotlight, a band called Alexisonfire. You’ve probably heard of ‘em. If you’re over 16, thank you for reading this far. The five-piece, whose sound revolves around two singers, a screamer and melodic guitars, have moved up the ranks of dive joints and house parties in their home town, to established national and international fame. Besides a number of regularly requested videos on MuchMusic, the band’s second album, Watch Out, recently went gold in Canada, and gold in Canada means the possibility of moving out of the folk’s house, perhaps to an apartment in L.A. “No, no. I think that would be the last place we’d want to live,” says George, the band’s resident screamer, during a phone interview from Grimsby, fifteen minutes outside of St. Catherines. While he might not want to move there, he readily admits a fondness for the oldschool L.A. punk movement, and his favorite venue to play. “The Troubadour is just one of those clubs,” he says. “So much history has gone on in that room. The Bags played, and Tom Waits was in the audience, and they called out Tom Waits. After the show, the bouncers locked the doors and made the singer of The Bags and Tom Waits fight. Let them duke it out on the dance floor. Apparently it was a really girly fight. It wasn’t... no teeth got knocked out. Read “We Got the Neutron Bomb”. It’s like, uh, the oral history of the L.A. scene.” George is looking out of the Kitchen window of his parent’s house, and after a moment of distracted silence, gives a half-hearted attempt to explain his view of lawn furniture, which leads to the far more interesting question of what he is wearing. “I’m wearing a white, Groovy Ghoulies tshirt, and uh, socks, and uh, Joe Boxer under-
wear.” Seems George missed the memo that Joe Boxers went out with No Fear, but that’s okay, because the poor guy can barely get it together to do his laundry (his mom’s out of town). “I haven’t changed my jeans in a few days and we played a few shows and, uh, the floor of the Opera House (in Toronto) isn’t exactly the cleanest place.” As for how he ended up on the floor George would only say that sometimes these things happen. Alexisonfire formed in 2001, when band members George, Chris (bass), Dallas (guitar, vocals), Jesse (drummer), and Wade (guitar, vocals) got to know each other while each was playing with different bands in the St. Catherines music scene. Strong evidence suggesting that while paying dues might be an old-school concept to the group, who went from zero to 50,000 albums sold in less time it
formula tea, and gets a lot of sleep. “If I lose my voice we can’t play shows. We’ve had to cancel before and it just sucks. For the fans, us, the promoters...” As for the story behind the band’s name, it was stolen Alexis: polymorphous boyonboy hotjizzaction. from a contortionist make CDs to hand out at gigs, next thing you stripper who has a website of the same name. know you’re thirty and your jeans are still With the construction of the band’s first webdirty. But the demo tape did what all heavenly site came the first email from the OTHER demo tapes ought, and found its way into the Alexisonfire, telling the band to cease and right hands. desist, as she had a copyright on the name. “It is an absolute series of flukes that “We were looking for different names, we brought us to where we are today,” says were getting really pent up about it,” says George, who adds their fame is a by-product of luck, more so than knowing the right people. “We never had any sort of plan, like, here’s the step by step method to becoming this sort of a band. We were just in the right place, at the right time. We’re idiots when it comes to this stuff. We’ve kind of been plunged into it.” George might not know the right people, but his other bandmates did. When Dallas ran into EMI sound engineer Greg Below at a show in Toronto, he slipped Below the demo. Very shortly thereafter, the music exec George. “But Greg did a trademark search and dropped in on a show, bringing with him she has no trademarks on it. So we kinda stole it. We pay homage, you know. We’ve probably Michael McCarty, president of EMI, resulting in a label deal with Distort who are distributed generated more hits for her site than she has. I throughout Canada by EMI. Distort has since don’t know. I hope she’s doing fine. No hard licensed the band’s album to over six other feelings or anything like that. Maybe we’ve labels as well, from different parts of the generated some revenues...I’m always scared world, including Equal Vision in the States, when we play Nevada she’s going to show up and Defiance in Australia. with a group of enormous porn industry “It works out nicely for us,” says George. guys.” “This way, instead of having one label for the Once the band had some songs under their entire world, we have eight teams of people collective belt, they produced a demo, recordwho are all working to push our record, and ed at Burning Sound, the fledgling studio of a friend where the recording process was mostly stuff.” The music videos have also worked out live off the floor. The collection of demos was nicely. Greg submitted the bands music to distributed to friends; wrapped in drummer VideoFACT - the grant service that provides Jesse’s math notes, with Alexisonfire handfunding for music videos. It took him three written in the corner. The story could end here: form band,
I think if I went around calling Alexisonfire punk, people would get mad. I mean, we’re influenced by punk music but...
takes to get a college degree or a good R.J., Alexisonfire is not contrived. “We’re not a manufactured band AT ALL,” says an emphatic George. “We’ve played in an abandoned marina...in like, borderline squats. We’ve been playing shows for a long time!” So when their respective bands failed, simultaneously, Wade called up George for a practice with the other three, hoping he’d want to scream for them. From that first rehearsal, their grisly sound was born. “Pretty much what I do for a living is damage my throat,” George says of his role in the band. “The healthier I can be the more I’m going to bounce back.” Being healthy includes limiting his alcohol on tour, save for the odd day off he might indulge in a few cocktails. He avoids soda, does vocal warm-ups, drinks a lot of throat
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tries before landing the cash and resources they needed. All four of the band’s videos have since been directed by Marc Ricciardelli, each treatment, or story line, getting knocked together by the band themselves. “The decision making process in Alexisonfire is always a painful one. It’s great. I always have these ridiculous, outlandish ideas and everyone kind of, like, shrugs them off,” says George. “Then nobody’s happy with the way it’s going to turn out. Then we shoot the video and we’re all really happy with it. Mark is the one who can take the video and make us like it.” “Accidents”, the latest song to be optically exploited, features the band members as ambulance attendants, racing through city streets saving lives, to lines like “If only we could heal ourselves, we wouldn’t need to be hooked up to these machines”. “We had a paramedic on site,” says George, of their uber-professional acting abilities which include using a pair of defibrillator paddles on a young man whose heart monitor flatlines, at the end of the video. “There’s a heartbeat!” says George. “There’s the heartbeat at the end, and you’re all like, oh, he’s still alive...we did it!” While victory of some sort seems to be theirs for the taking, there are a couple of obstacles in the path to world domination. While Alexisonfire take great pains to get as close to their fan base as possible, with numerous inside jokes played out at various music awards ceremonies, identifiable only if one is a regular to their website, it is a given that the majority of music fans have fickle hearts. “People are going to ride waves. I don’t imagine there is a ton of longevity in the music industry right now, and we’re just going to be grateful while we’re here, and while people are taking interest. I think in a few years if we’re not around I’ll just be... doing something else.” There’s also the question of their genre, although a screamo, even an emo tag doesn’t bother George too much. Only one term in particular makes him squirm. “I think if I went around calling Alexisonfire punk, people would get mad,” he says. “I mean, we’re influenced by punk music but...I don’t really criminalize genres. If people want to make up genres, that’s cool. I think that’s probably easier.” If their second album is any indication, Alexisonfire has extended their expiry date. Watch Out is considerably more serious than their self-titled 2002 debut. With sharper vocals, and calculated guitar chords wrestling
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with drums in a match of grim-rock wits, the album seems to suggest the band is making a conscious effort to improve their game. “It wasn’t so much what we learned, this time around. It’s more like what we learned from what we did last time,” George explains. “This time we knew what we were doing, going in. Serious songs are just what came out. Some of them are pretty light hearted, I think. Like “Hey It’s Your Funeral, Mama” is a song about go-carts.” Despite their occasionally odd sense of humor, funny isn’t one of the first words that comes to mind when holding their two albums in each hand. The cover of Watch Out has an Archie-comic meets Edvard Munch sensibility, with a cartoon caricature of a lady in the foreground, haunted by background ghouls. The cover of the first album is equally as morbid, with two Catholic girls wielding knives for a schoolyard face-off. What makes it all the more interesting is the fact that for her first court appearances, Karla Homolka also wore a schoolgirl uniform. “No, no,” says George, brushing off the coincidence. “That’s just our twisted sense of humor. When we first started out, you know, you get flyers for shows and stuff, and underneath the band name would be a brief description of who that band was. Ours always was two catholic school girls in a knife fight.” During the early 90s, while the killers were at large and George was too young to understand why all the cream coloured Camaros in the St Catherines area were adorned with orange stickers (indicating that the vehicle had been searched by police), it nevertheless hit the impressionable screamer closer than most. “It was a really scary time. I remember it all happening. My mom worked with the Mahaffy family (Leslie, victim),” says George. “Both families, the French family (Kristen, victim) and Mahaffy family are in an absolute wreck right now. It’s terrible. It’s really hard for any sort of family to come back from that. I mean, it wasn’t like they were just murdered. It was brutal.” Because of a plea bargain, in 1993, Homolka was systematically portrayed as a victim of abuse at the hands of Bernardo. She acquiesced to his psychotic demands out of fear and self-preservation, the argument ran. And so, while her husband is currently serving a life sentence, Homolka will be a free woman July, 2005. “I’m sure when she does get out, we’re not going to see her at a beer store,” says George. “She’s going to have to move very far away. There’s a lot of people who would love to publicly flog her.”
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here are sirens all around while I’m trying to talk to Rejean Ricard, the grossly over-talented Winnipeg songwriter who fronts Telepathic Butterflies. Their second album, Songs from a Second Wave, has succored me through this savage month, while my city has burned. “Is that a typical sound in Vancouver?” he asks as another cacophony of screams and rioting arcs right off Granville, drowning our talk. “Damn right,” I tell him, grimly. “It’s war out there.” The Butterflies have come to restore such ancient virtues as song craft and good taste to rock ‘n’ roll, the body of which lies necrotizing in an I.C. Unit, barely able to draw breath after being crushed by Marshalls and mowed down by it’s own stupidity for so long. Their new Rainbow Quartz release has superceded even my expert abilities at hating shit on every level. Aside from the dodgy band name, these guys are unimpeachable. They even sing in French at one point, for fuck’s sake, which is the equivalent of crossing a minefield with a pogo stick in my world of insane standards. How dare they? As if to taunt me even more, Rejean concurs: “What can I say? I agree with you. 100%,” he laughs, knowing full well that the track in question “Big Bang!” comes after 40 minutes of pop perfection. “I couldn’t write a bridge in English for some reason,” he explains, “and it dawned on me. Why don’t I just write it in French and boom! It just sort of happened.” He then politely points out that some exceptions prove the rule, name checking the great French rocker Jacques Dutronc, for one. The truth is, Rejean and his boys are so competent with hooks and arrangements that they could have belched their way through “Big Bang!” and it wouldn’t matter. Not wanting to soften Rejean with too much praise, I either gush or I blurt, (I can’t remember which because I was in a beautiful fantasia of ass-kissing) “You guys are the fuckin’ best! Do you
This is about know how amazing you are?” Or n’t about me. is is th t bu s as much talent something. Chuckling, Rejean reasa band with so thin mint. great pop and another wafer sk sures me, “we’re pretty freakin’ critical ri t no r tte they be Young Man”, on a lot of fronts… I don’t feel like, single “Angry w ne e th ke Ta e The Pretty yeah! We’re the fuckin’ shit, man! But It starts out lik est until a for example. hedelic thingi yc ps at the same time, yeah, I feel good r sei th at Things us into Hollie change takes about the band.” d y oo od m el ss m le gh seam t enou Debuting as a two-piece with as if that’s no ”. ity dd O territory and, ce 2001’s Nine Songs, Rejean and drumards into “Spa your and fun, onw wn do t pu – is mer Jacques Dubois have since netted az one Blues Scale N in my office bassist Eric Van Buren for this latest lst playing it e th d ze ci weapons. Whi criti incarnation, with the occasional contriwriter boldly g day, a Nerve and competin s ea id od go bution from guitarist Rob Pachol. of t . ei ot rf sp su e ’s th song cker on While these men sound like they could to sack the fu d ha ’s I er s. uv ok co ho ’s play at Van be paradigm-smashing European When the TB th , it will go Architects, the other traveling member on October 13 b lu C ay West lw ai R of the TBs is the more conventionally their first ever in history as th tour,” n ur w fo do r named Angus Kirkpatrick, who’s s is, like, ou hi “T . ow sh t of showcasCoast lumpen moniker belies a British here’ve done a lo “W n. ea Austin, ej R says z flying us to rt itage. Knowing a thing or two about ua Q ow nb nd of thing. es with Rai those terrible bastards I inquire as to York. That ki ew N tuto us flying you know ac Angus’ efforts to integrate into civil ting to think, ar st w re fe e’ w y er Now ing ev society. Rejean thoughtfully explains, gotta start tour ally, we just s of life for a ct fa e “…he’s English.” Enough said, sir! th e ths.” These ar on m se. It can do So you made your first video, I band, of cour n iia ad an C l smal d the opportun hear. Any nude scenes? the industry an as er d ng an da in al u re yo the “No… oh, actually there was ore and more, ties shrink m can bankrupt ad ro e underwear somewhere” th on ng oi G s. ge emer rfly on the You guys or a hot chick? eak the butte br n ca it – u n’t know yo “No. One of us.” . Rejean does el, if you will he w Angus. If we’re lucky. But pressing ct: all and what to expe on: Rainbow Quartz ponied the money us as really sm There are “I always see t, you know? for this adventure in their continuing ou g tin ar st we’re just ing in but efforts to reverse the laws of nature by e e-mails com lot of positiv a crowds, I to putting out records that are actually translate in l ’l at th er th whe to people who good. it translates in ckers…” nno. Maybe du headphone ro “Good songs last,” says Rejean of s; ow sh to ry, Canmore don’t go the philosophy that underpins the band ictoria, Calga u Vancouver, V erve orders yo and the label. “This is a no-brainer. ning): The N tes w of nd f you’re liste ki (i ys with the You know this. I know this. Everyone bo e es ng th e tti si id to prov They’re in the media knows this. I guess the they deserve. n hospitality try with no er un co e market just doesn’t really give a shit iddle of th m e th in t gh ri ghta make and all the EMI’s, all the Universals er way. We ou filiations eith innipeg, af W are going to go ‘What’s hot today speaking of em ours. And th g? pe ni Sammy? Sign ‘em up!’” al with Win s of what’s the de it’s six month Yeah, as the Big Three melts into a pretty much, ank, st in ’s le “I th op pe t Big One, I say ther, by mos ea w y un us ab lo r pretty the shee “Exactly. So you know what? Fuck Rejean about out ys s Sa ep ” se s, at rd da and music th t it. I don’t care.” This of course is the ar ity al n qu w dance of hunker do real philosophy that underpins both t forces you to … there’s of that city. “I ck Fu band and label, bless ‘em. Rejean conmmunity? co ts ar e th d an riters, artists, tinues, “If you’re going to gain fans akers, songw freakin’ filmm erywhere. It’s you’re going to gain fans that are on ody… it’s ev actors, everyb to be pretty em the same wavelength as you, not cos And it se s e. en polis sc e th quite bigger metro they like that you have really tight posed to… a e th of e or genuine as op m jeans and a good looking ass. You exponentially where there’s annabe movie w d an rs te ri know what I mean.” w wannabe song in a way. You Well yes. I do have a great looking mbling place, stars. It’s a hu prima donna. around like a to fuckin’ can’t prance ue collar-ness bl gh ou en ’s There .” wn potentially shoot you do
Music Happily, The TB’s are more than just pretty genuine. They fall quite neatly into a growing Canadian tradition for great, dare I say it, 60’s infused power pop. It’s such a futile pursuit really that sincerity is self-evident. It’s also, for those in the know, extremely rewarding. My next question is so nerdy that I put on some horn-rimmed spectacles and combed my hair to the side before I asked it. Do you like Klaatu? I ask, referring to the ludicrous (i.e. awesome) Canadian band from the 70s that some people thought was a secret reunion of The Beatles. Rejean laughs, “Well, Klaatu’s before my time. I don’t actually own any of the albums. Everyone’s saying check out Klaatu.” No shit? “I’ve heard that, yeah.” D’you ever dig Zumpano, Sloan… “There’s the whole Superfriends, Flashing Lights contingent,” he offers, though any connection with that, he says, is only “by virtue of interest and taste.” Ignoring the perfectly symmetrical Beard/Afro aspect of the man, how do you feel about Jeff Lynne, from ELO? “You know,” he reasons, “… the guy’s written some great songs. But… he was in The Move but that wasn’t my favourite period of The Move. I don’t think he should have produced (The Beatles) Anthology, either,” he concludes, laughing. Agreed. Badfinger? “No matter what you are…” sings Rejean down the phone to me. “Tragic as hell but fuck, yeah… I’ve got the 45s. I love that stuff.” Solo McCartney? “Oh! Well, fuck!” He stammers. “The first solo McCartney? Wings? Great! Great tunes. Some throwaways, some stinkers but… fuck yeah! We were jamming to “Let ‘Em In” just last night, going, fuck! You know what?” Let ‘em in! “That’s right. Let ‘em in…”
Outside, Vancouver explodes for the 2nd time today and we wrap up. Rejean’s gotta hit the road. I gotta hit the pipe. See y’all at the show.
s e i l f r e t t u b telepathic
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Off The Record
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erve: Who are you? Thomas: I’m Thomas Shields from Run Chico Run… We’ve been at it for seven years, you know. Maybe eight years. And we’ve got fuck all except a raw fuckin’ deal from day one! Nerve: If the City of Victoria asked Run Chico Run to design a city mascot, what would that be? Thomas: A shambly, old, lecherous hobo. Who kind of looks like he’s from The Dark Crystal, maybe. Some little pouches with thirty-sided die hanging off his belt. Nerve: Tell me about those stupid killer whales in Victoria. Thomas: …There was one in front of The Bay that was incredible. It was, like, a Voyageur and he’s all pink cos he was supposed to be like a human, kind of, but he looked like a big cock. Wearing a Hudson’s Bay smallpox blanket… (2 Hours Later…) …Do you get that with people where you can’t explain why you fuckin’ hate their guts? It’s instant, when you see them. Eventually, you’re like… there’s nothing wrong. It’s a perfectly nice person. Maybe eyes too close together? I dunno! Something… Nerve: And you end up feeling petty. But you also end up feeling kind of strong. Because you can summon up such contempt over nothing. Thomas: And also such restraint that you don’t just fuckin’ kill them coz that’s the animal desire in you. I’ve got a friend who fuckin’ hates monkeys, like, so much. But anything human that resembles a monkey, like, the less you resemble a monkey the more he can deal with you, but… Nerve: Let’s face it. Monkeys. Not as great as they make out. Thomas: Have you heard about Bonobo Monkeys though? Nerve: They fuck all the time. Thomas: And they’re Matriarchal and the women, they’re all insane lesbians and they Kick Axe IV Elfin Stone/MTM
The ambiguous direction of this album leads one to assume that the boys who had us doing the “Heavy Metal Shuffle” back in the 80’s have forgotten that, although some retro-metal acts seem to do OK on the touring frontlines, the bands of yester-year have lost that lovin’ feeling when it comes to putting out new material. Vocalist George Criston is missing from this opus, though the Brothers Gillstrom are still talented songwriters/arrangers. Time has taken its toll, however. I think they’re out to enjoy themselves, make a couple of bucks and get their kids through college, so I won’t shit on this album THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 22
Photo: Erin Nicholson
Ru n C h i c o R u n
let men into their little coven and you can impregnate the women and if you behave badly the women rip you apart and… Nerve: Are we still talking about monkeys? Thomas. …that is so hot! Nerve: According to a very credible internet source, George W. Bush was involved in a Skull and Bones ritual at Yale that involved giving an RJ to a male corpse. Is that true? Thomas: Yes. It is true. Nerve: Gimme a two word review of Kiefer Sutherland’s performance in Flatliners. Thomas: Hmmm… thought provoking. That’s what I’d say to that one. As a guy has it ever happened to you where you cum and you lounge around, you cuddle. Then you get up and go to the bathroom and you’re all in your post-coital glow and you’re all groovy and you’re just not thinking and you’re at your new lady-friend’s house and you go to take a leak and suddenly pee comes out in three different directions? Like, on the walls? And you’re like, nnnghghghg!! People say the stream is a very fragile thing. I’ve had a hair just get in and just fuck it all up. Just, like, one hair. Nerve: I’ve done it. Thomas: Brutal. Nerve: In my case it turned out to be a tangerine. Thomas: A tangerine! Nerve: In my foreskin. Thomas: Wow. A whole tangerine! This isn’t discussed, you know? In Sex Ed class they don’t warn you. Nerve: Are you circumcised? Thomas: No. Sometimes girls are like, “what’s that thing all about? Show me what it can do,” and you’re like, “well, not too much you know. You can pull it. That’s about it. It’s a turtleneck!” - Hugh Jampton (which is missing that energy from the Vices days). Mind you, if the tracks don’t really strike a chord, the signature KA thump is defiantly present. Think Blind Melon doing a tribute to Great White. That doesn’t mean overdosing on heroin while setting a club full of people on fire either. I mean musically. - ES Day
Unleashed Sworn Allegiance Century Media
I never really pay too much attention to all the various sub-genres of metal. Heavy, Doom, Thrash, Grind, Speed, Black, Death, Power, Glam, Shred, Progressive, Epic-Hollywood… whatever. Call it
what you like: if it jams, it jams. The only real criterion is whether the metal is true or the metal is false. True metal has the power to transcend mere “performer/listener” parameters. It inspires. It propels one to greater and stronger spirituality. This could result in a serious case of rip-lash after a night in the pit or achieving a new personal best in sales at your place of employment. Those who have heard the call will understand. False metal on the other hand is just that – false. Weak, impotent, pretentious, phoned-in bullshit is easily detectable from miles away by someone who’s true of heart. One might suggest that false metal should be put to death. This would be a great basis for a new manifesto for metal heads the world over—at once a battle cry and mission statement for the true. If only that concept could be expressed more articulately. Perhaps by arranging words into a more easily identifiable credo, true metal will reign supreme in its rightful kingdom once and for all. Anyhoo, this new Unleashed album is about as true as it gets. For those of you not in the know, Unleashed are kind of like a Swedish Bolt Thrower—Vikings instead of Vietnam. While this is no Where No Life Dwells, this is still highly fucking recommended for all fans of True Metal. - 8 Ball
Ditchpig Ditchpig Baby Batter
If all my reviews sound like ringing endorsements, it’s because I stay away from anything that looks even remotely emo and go for the stuff that is guaranteed to be downright owly and mean. This CD is no exception. It tears out of the starting gate at 200 mph and never lets up except for one psychedelic freak-out that almost gave me an acid flashback. Ditchpig often reminds me of early Dayglo Abortions, and this is the shit you want to be listening to when you take your first unsupervised skydiving lesson, butt naked, with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a phattie in the other. Damn, forgot the parachute! - Chris Walter Run Chico Run Shashbo Boompa
This bent record from those two demented eggheads in Victoria sounds like a panic attack. - Hugh Jampton
Another Damn Disappointment Hooligan Volcom Entertainment
Having expected very little from Another Damn Disappointment, I can’t honestly say they lived up to their name. I can, however, say that this CD will hardly make a blip on the punk-rock radar. For starters, ADD sound exactly like any generic, mediocre Fat/Epitaph band from the mid-‘90s: muted guitar intros, clean bass, an “Oi! Oi! Oi!” for good (and laughable) measure. The whole banal nine yards. What’s worse, ADD try their hand at some typical leftist soap-box rants which are as trite as those they oppose. Mix a few lame antiBush/big corporation rants—without any clear solutions—and a couple of fuckin’ and drinkin’ songs, and you’ve got yourself another shitty SoCal product. Way to go, Volcom. - Adam Simpkins
GFK If Liberty Isn’t Given, It Should Be Taken G7 Welcoming Committee
Some raging metal action here to keep Malefaction company on Canada’s best record label. GFK are a Quebec City wrecking crew that have been sledging away now for an octet of years. Overtly political lyrics drive a band intent on pummeling listeners with a dizzying display of tech-metal and plodding yet intricate guitar mania. Lead screamer just kind of bellows away with a thick French accent but, hey, no complaints there as he does a killer job of it. Does anyone feel a big “but” coming on? Well, the production sound, courtesy of Pierre Remillard (Cryptopsy, Misery Index, etc.), is a real
sore spot—all clunky and difficult sounding. Unfortunately, the production makes each member of the band sound like they recorded in a different part of Quebec, only to gather for a final hackneyed splice job. Ah well, I’d love to see them live. - Jason Schreurs
Flashlight Arcade The Art of Blacking Out On The Rise
I’m a wimp for the melodic punk stuff as much as the next Dag Nasty fan, so it didn’t take long for Flashlight Arcade to perk up my ears. Similar to Vancouver’s late/great Brandnewunit (yep, remember them?), these Jersey skate punks land just shy of remarkable. Can’t outright recommend them though, for a triad of reasons: 1) Their singer refuses to wear his ball+cap straight, and that is just inexcusable. 2) Do not, I repeat, do not try forays into a Hot Water Music sound unless you have the appropriate chops. 3) Things tend to get a bit too wimpy on a few too many occasions. Less Wig Out at Denko’s and more Can I Say, alright dudes? – Jason Schreurs
The Franklins The Franklins Reluctant Recordings
Hyped-up, adrenaline/methamphetamine fueled mayhem with many catchy song titles such as “Trailer Park Girls”, and “Tourettes on the Bus”. The onslaught is peppered with just enough melodic riffage and crazy-ass leads to keep it from getting monotonous, and the vocals are strained over broken glass with psychotic intent. I was thoroughly prepared to drop the bomb on Reluctant Recordings if they tried to lay anything weak on us, but both these releases are pretty fuckin’ impressive. This shit is enough to get granny out of her wheelchair and into the slam pit. What the Samhain is going on in Edmonton, anyway? - Chris Walter
Red Planet We Know How It Goes Gearhead
There’s powerpop and then there’s pussypop and this band walks a fine line between the two. Pop and cheese go well together in both the physical world and most metaphysical dimensions, but regardless of where you get it from, pop and cheese should leave you in a pleasant mood. This record, however, started to give me a stomachache about halfway through. - Killed by Jeff
KMFDM WWIII Live Sanctuary/EMI
Judging from the crystal clear soundboard mix, these industrial overlords have captured the sheer rawness that one would expect from their live show. It’s crisp, tight and loud. Though I’m not the most exuberant fan of live albums (with the exception of KISS Alive II), I found myself bouncing along to the title track as well as engaging in the act of blindfolding myself, randomly selecting foods from the fridge that appear to be missing an expiration date and smearing them all over my naked, shameful body. This is the soundtrack for said event. - ES Day
The Black Keys Rubber Factory Fat Possum
Chicken! Whiskey! Chicken! Whiskey! Chicken! Whiskey! Chicken! Whiskey! Chicken! Whiskey! Chicken! Whiskey! Chicken! Woooooooooooooo!!!! - Spackler
Liars Academy Demons Equal Vision
Liars Academy is certainly a bizarre band. Not in a “wow, they’re wacky” sense, but more like “what the fuck are they doing?” For a supposed rock band on a rather emo label, their music and influences
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are all over the map, but not in an interesting way. At best, Liars Academy sound like a latter-day Samiam; at worst, a Counting Crows tribute act. If that weren’t bad enough, halfway through the album one of their vocalists (I’m too bored by this band to do the research) lets out a throaty screamostyled wail that is so ridiculously out of place it will make you want to tear your hair out in absolute confusion. To make matters even more absurd, they then take a shot at New Wave (and surprisingly fail!). What the fuck? Indeed. - Adam Simpkins The Paybacks Harder and Harder Get Hip
What would the world be without Get Hip? That much shittier, that’s what. The Paybacks hail from the Motor City (surprise) and straight off, frontwoman Wendy Case rips into fuck-or-fight rock songs with a vocal delivery somewhere between Lemmy with tits, Joan Jett and a bucket of nails. “Scotch Love”, “Can You Drive”, and opening track “When I’m Gone” put fun back into rock ‘n’roll with a sledge hammer. Don’t fuck around; make The Paybacks your next favourite band. – A.D. MADGRAS Por Vida: A Tribute to the Songs of Alejandro Escovedo V/A Or Music
Alejandro Escovedo’s family and friends in the industry released Por Vida as a sort of tribute/benefit album to supplement the Hep C-stricken artist’s only source of income: the constant touring which he is no longer able to do. Lucinda Williams opens with “Pyramid of Tears”, done so exquisitely it could easily have been written by her and not Escovedo. Actually, almost every single song on the album is done equal justice; each artist fully owns and respects his or her chosen piece. Standouts include Calexico’s breathy, soulful “Wave,” the aching harmonies of Jon Langford and Sally Timms on “Broken Bottle,” and the disc’s high point, Velvet Underground’s John Cale doing “She Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” with astounding grief and beauty. A long and sometimes slow journey, but with some song-skipping it’s definitely a worthwhile one. - Meghan Dean Table 69 Reserved Last Tango Productions
Read the band’s name. Now read the name of their album. Um, yeah…the whole CD is kinda like that. -Meghan Dean Teenage Knockups Keep Hollywood Out Of Winnipeg Longshot
This slab would have fit right in with the 80’s hardcore I grew up with, and it feels kind of weird when I realize that The Teenage Knockups were probably just screaming ankle-biters back then. If I close my eyes, I can travel back in time to the days when every longhair was the enemy and it was Reagan, not Bush, that was scaring the piss out of us. It’s nice to know that being young, drunk, and pissed off never goes out of style. Of course, I’m favourably biased towards this because Winnipeg is my hometown, and the Knockups are the type of angry punk rock that I hold so dear, but I really dig this shit. So spray paint the walls, steal the key to your parent’s liquor cabinet, and try not to go for a ride in the police truck. Strange title though, considering that this sounds so much like SoCal hardcore of yesteryear… -Chris Walter
The Dillinger Escape Plan Miss Machine Relapse
Oh fuck, here it comes… LEFT HOOK! RIGHT HOOK! SLAP TO THE TITS! Easing back a little now… wait, how about some PARSLEY IN YOUR EYES! SCREWDRIVER TO THE KIDNEYS! TWISTING OF THE NIPPLES! SEISMIC TESTICLE ERUPTION! There’s no way to keep up with
Off The Record
T he F u tu r ehe ads
this attack, this shit is out of control! Every angle is deadly!!! Obviously learning a shitload about the weird and wonderful world of musical lunacy from supergenius Mike Patton when they teamed up to make the masterpiece EP Irony is a Dead Scene, DEP are still the metal band to end all metal bands (and yes, they still look about as threatening as those fookheads from Matchbox 20). This album should’ve been called Fumbling Toward Epilepsy. If you have any interest whatsoever in heavy music and you DON’T pick this up, be warned that you run a serious risk of having me consider you a douchebag. - Dave Bertrand The Pasty Whites Start Reluctant Recordings
The Pasty Whites? Sheeeit! This is kick-the-cat, throw-bricks-at-police-cars, sleazy ass punk ‘n’ roll. Singer reminds me at times of the dude from the New Bomb Turks but, just for extra fuckoff-ness, these guys also bring a touch of metal guitar wankery and double kick drum to the equation. My only complaint was that it could have been a bit longer. Don’t buy this CD: get buck naked while drunk on cheap draft, and STEAL IT from that cute little punker/punkette who took pity on you and dragged your worthless ass home from the bar. - Chris Walter The Futureheads s/t Warner
This quartet from the north east of England are the latest chancers in the ever accelerating post punk revival. They even got Andy Gill to produce, taking them one automatic step closer to the full deployment of words like: “Gang” and “Four”. What saves the enterprise from mere pastiche is the kind of modestly cerebral mischief of a song like “A to B”, which on the face of it, seems to be a diagrammatic appreciation of the science of not moving. Even better is the current of northern silliness detectable just under the surface, not to mention the extremely impressive and complicated group vocal arrangements. This review started out as total payola but somehow it all went right, proving that crime does pay. Catchy as fuck. Hit the north!! - Mack The Snake The Cross The Crown Mander Salis Equal Vision
So, Sunny Day Real Estate will never play again, Radiohead just don’t do it for you anymore, and Jeff Buckley’s posthumous fart-collections can’t muster any emotion in your dark soul. Fret not, TSTCTC will whet any appetite longing for theatrical, epic song writing. Even though the song titles will conjure memories of Dungeons & Dragons in your parent’s basement (“The Fields of Ius”, anyone?), Mander Salis is an extremely impressive piece of work. Keeping their prog leanings to a minimum and knowing when to bust out the chops, the flow and sequencing of this album is—dare I say it—almost perfect. So quit your snivelling and find out where the real banshees live and demons dwell. - Adam Simpkins
Transmission0 0 Go-Kart
The influence of the mighty Neurosis will continue to be felt for many years to come and I, for one, am tickled like a pig bathing in mud. The Netherlands’ Transmission0 is the latest group to take the Neurosis sound and warp it into something all their own. Adding goth elements to the epic apocalypse (think Neurosis’ cover of Joy Division’s “Day of the Lords”), these guys bring that sound to the brink thanks to guitarist Mischa van Rodijnen’s precise, all-encompassing production splendour. It’s deliriously heavy. Fuck, get me the headphones and
T
he Futureheads are the newest thing to come out of Sunderland. Sunderland is a dark, satanic, wind-blown and dogshit covered hellhole in the North of England. And it’s still better than Toronto. We spoke to singer/guitarist Ross.
Nerve: What’s the best thing that ever came out of Sunderland? Ross: Ships. During wartime Sunderland was the biggest place in the world for building warships. Nerve: So they would also be the biggest things that came out of Sunderland. Ross: In a quite literal sense, I suppose so. Yeah. I think they would be quite closely rivaled though by Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics. Nerve: Actually I’ve seen him and he’s only about 5’2”. Ross: Fair enough. Nerve: What’s the worst thing that ever came out of Sunderland? Ross: At the moment I’d have to say the football team. Nerve: If The Futureheads were asked to provide Sunderland with a city mascot, what would it be? Ross: It would be a little robot in a tracksuit probably with a bottle of cider in its hand a dark closet to curl up in, and I’m down for a few hours of solitary confinement with 0. Make sure to come get me later though, okay? Wouldn’t want to be swallowed into the Transmission0 abyss. - Jason Schreurs
The Dragons Rock And Roll Kamikaze Gearhead
So at the end of the 90’s everyone was pooing in his or her little pants about Y2K. Apparently the world’s top whiz kids had failed to take into account that when the big ’00 hit, computers would crash because they just weren’t designed to compute this dramatic calendar upheaval. Banks would slam shut, freezing all the money in the world in some sort of millennial void; Starbucks would have to postpone the grand opening of 300 more locations until the following week; airplanes would fall from the sky. Luckily, none of this ever happened. Except for the airplane thing and it was a year-anda-half late, so big whoop. Slowly but surely (January 2nd, actually), denizens of planet earth crawled out of their hovels and resumed business as usual. It was a good time to be alive, and a great time for fans of rock ‘n’ roll music. Girls draped themselves in simulated blue leather with their hair teased to the heavens; record labels like Man’s Ruin and Junk ruled the school and dudes everywhere lined up to get GG Allin tattoos on their brains in a
perhaps... It would come pre-programmed with three insults. You push one button and you get a random insult. Nerve: You guys did a “Squat Tour” across Europe. Now you’re playing in decadent bourgeoisie “Theatres”. Explain yourself! Ross: It’s an absolutely different kettle of fish… to be honest it’s really nice to play on a proper stage with some lights that work properly and a PA system that you can hear yourself back through. Nerve: Who is your favourite Italian Marxist Political Thinker of the early 20th Century? Ross: My favourite Italian? Nerve: Yeah. Ross: I’ve absolutely no idea. Nerve: The correct answer is Antonio Gramsci. Ross: OK. Nerve: Did you guys approve of producer Andy Gill’s dress sense? Ross: Apart from his penchant for pointy cowboy boots, yeah. He’s not too bad. He wears a lot of white linen which can look a little bit porno sometimes. Nerve: I saw him working a grey singlebreasted suit with a pleated trouser and a tank top in the eighties. I was pretty upset. Ross: Yeah, fair enough. He’s quite a weird man really. The first time we met him he was like, “I confess, I don’t really listen to music.” He’s far more interested in food. He’s a food connoisseur. We learned a few things off him. Just not necessarily what we wanted to learn. - Hugh Jampton desperate teenage attempt to be the next Hellacopters. It was around this time that Southern California’s The Dragons released their Rock N’ Roll Kamikaze album. Unfortunately, it never got the proper release the boys felt it deserved, and the aforementioned Junk records went tee-yachts up not long after. Well, fans of mediocrity, rejoice! The kind folks @ Gearhead have taken it upon themselves to re-release this semi-explosive slab for your listenin’ pleasure. This isn’t your mom’s “remix and remaster” hack-job. Oh no! The Dragons have actually managed to get none other than George Lucas to handle the fixing up of their record. All the original tracks you know and love are here as well as five more “deleted” bonus scenes. The band has been digitally enhanced to look AND sound younger. Their wardrobe has also been coordinated to fit what Mr. Lucas feels is a more accurate portrayal of early millennium fashion. But wait, there’s more—top 40 R‘n’B sensation Shaggy has been added to give the mix a more Caribbean feel (the kids LOVE Shaggy!). There is also an added producer’s commentary where George explains his idea to make a Dragons prequel which will finally reveal what I am sure are fascinating origins. -8-Ball
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Live Wires
been sucked into another contrived corporate concert” rage. Show opener Talib Kweli, whose new album The Beautiful Struggle drops on September 28th, delivered an average set. Hits like the Nina Simone-sampled “Get By” went over well. Still, his command of the stage remains superior in a club setting. Overall, an average show for 66 bucks, leaving me to advise the original Beastie Boys fans to Check Your Head… and give it a good shake. Next time, I’ll wait for the DVD. (2 out of 5) -E.S. Day
Brant Bjork
Starvin’ Hungry
Brant’s show-before-the-show freeloader gig at A&B Sound was intimate to the point of being intrusive. “Here’s your swiveling computer chair, sir, and here’s a busted-ass acoustic guitar. We expect to be entertained. 40 minutes, minimum.” I don’t think BB had a clue that he was going to have to do this solo—no band, no mics, no pick! But it was lovely, like story-time in pre-school; the crowd sitting in a semi-circle on the floor while the teacher hooks us in. But this campfire-esque scene was just a primer; the nighttime spectacle was the thing to see. Hooded Fang was my entrance music, and these blokes were about as Stoner as you get: power trio, distorted bass, Wah-Wahs, gravel throat, Ghostbusters T-shirts, pentatonic everything, a song about a woodchuck… Man, Brant Bjork is pure lo-fi class; he mellowed at the bar during the opening act, did his own soundcheck, then he & The Bros got us movin’ and groovin’ right off the bat, insisting that the stage lights go down before busting into the opening onetwo doob-groove of “Lazy Bones / Automatic Fantastic” from the Jalamanta album. From then on the shit was a-rollin’. They busted out a few Kyuss memories near the end… smooth as silk, baby! The Bros’ drummer played it cool, loose, and barefoot. The extra guitarist was a headband hippie, and the bassist? Well, he rocked back and forth, staring straight at his amp for the duration of the nearly two-hour show. Amazing. He took the solid-as-truck but boring-as-fuck bass player routine to a new peak These guys made Mr. Bjork’s simple, infectious chill-out tunes ooze with smoky energy. I wasn’t stoned, but BB and the boys had me fooled! The Labour Day crowd was alive and hell; people were even dancing! How the two boogying ladies on stage left were replaced by some bald and moustachioed homoerotic spastic groove-machine, I’ll never know. But I do know this: Bjork and co. dragged us all out to sunny California for a dose of low desert punk, and I’m sad as hell to come back. -David Bertrand Beastie Boys, Talib Kweli Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, BC Monday, September 20th, 2004
Having been cryogenically frozen in a B-Boy stance since 1998, the recently thawed out NYIII from NYC rode into Vancouver on their Hip-Hop horses only to leave the crowd drinking from a dirty trough. My anticipation grew stronger as the odd assortment of fans ranging from punkers with pink ties to car mechanic jumpsuit twits complete with fake gold chains dripping to the waist, and, of course, the kids. When I say kids, I mean children. Yes, the B-Boys have struck a chord with the youth of tomorrow. Must be the goofy Sasquatch they have as the mascot for their newest opus To the 5 Boroughs. They kicked it “Root Down”, they “Passed The Mic” while “ChChecking It Out”, they gave us a dose of “Triple Trouble”… uh, you get my point. DJ Mixmaster Mike gave the strongest performance, as always, including beat juggling DVD’s! The hits were played minus any important tracks from Paul’s Boutique (of course). I knew I would be subjected to an array of political views, short commentary on their beliefs etc. Just play the goddamn songs already. Watching these 40-somethings jump around in matching outfits was enough to drive one to leave the show in an “ I’ve
THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 24
L.A. Guns, Crystal Pistol, State of Shock The Buffalo Room, Vancouver, BC Friday, September 10th, 2004
It’s been a while since I’ve seen the “All Black” Glam Gods—1989 to be exact. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the show after being moved from the Commodore to Vancity’s newest nightspot, The Buffalo Room. Sitting down with thespian drunkard Phil Lewis, he informs me that this is the first date of the tour. “It’s been eight years since we last played Vancouver, so it should be interesting.” I asked him how this tour might be received: “Well, the show will
photo: Phil Duperron
Those cheap jackals down at headquarters finally came thru with a ticket to the gig, and yet they showed a complete lack of professional courtesy by stiffing me on the expense account. How am I properly going to cover the concert sober? Was I expected to drop a bundle on drinks? The prices were ridiculous and I, along with the rest of the crowd (aging roadies, Long & Macqua-lude employees, bearded bikers and their beer-bellied old ladies) were forced to endure some sort of Salt Lake City-style liquor laws. Thank Jesus for my own razor sharp instinct and professional experience that I packed my trusty hip flask and a large quantity of mescaline hidden discreetly in my pocket. On with the show. Thin Lizzy, (… er Scott Gorham and John Sykes) rocked ferociously and played tighter than Bruce Allen’s anus. It’s pretty much a tribute act, but they played all the songs you wanted to hear (“Bad Reputation”, “Cold Sweat”, “The Cowboy Song”) and had the good sense to not play any new songs. The same however could not be said of Deep Purple, who were touring in support of their new album, wait for it, yes, yes… Bananas! No Ritchie Blackmore. Instead you got Steve Morse lookin’ like my Grade 8 Hash dealer. Ian Gillan was sort of there, looking like late-period Oliver Reed with a serious jones on for anal sex. Ian Paice looked like Horatio Sanz imitating Elton John and hit the drums about as hard as Jm Jay Bullock. Roger Glover wore a shirt that should have been outlawed in 1987 (teal and black zebra stripes. Betcha those L&M employees were dyin’ to know who his tailor was). And if John Lord had been on this tour he would have brought an organ from some 6th Century German church that had cheered the Huns on to victory in some horrible slaughter in the Black Forest. Instead, the geek they brought along played a Casio keyboard set on lame. Then during his solo he played the theme from Star Wars. I shit you not. - Spackler
speak for itself.” Well, he was certainly right. Bottom line: the concert was good; the show wasn’t. Looking like a double-chinned bloated Elvis, Phil Lewis could easily pass for the British version of Harvey Keitel à la Bad Lieutenant. Swarthy and swaggering, he proceeded to miss his cue to the opening lines of “One More Reason” whilst downing a full bottle of vino side stage. In case you’re wondering, they opened with “(Show) No Mercy” and followed through with a string of old school faves: “Sex Action”, “Never Enough”, “I Wanna Be Your Man” and “Electric Gypsy”. The encore prompted Mr. Lewis to announce, “we don’t get paid until we play this one!” Of course, he was referring to their biggest hit to date, “The Ballad Of Jayne”, followed by the fitting show closer, “Rip and Tear”. With a 12 am curfew, The Buffalo Room had to shut ‘er down. That, I guess, excused the band for not playing “Bitch Is Back” or “Hollywood Tease”. Shame. All in all, the acoustics weren’t that bad for a small room. Kudos go out to show openers State Of Shock and Crystal Pistol who definitely gave L.A. Guns a run for their money. Let me say this, though: CP front man Mik Ireland (sporting his new Casey Chaos haircut—sorry Mik) IS a Rock Star. With virtually no stage room he pranced and prodded in the shadow of a darker Iggy Pop, slithering and sliding to the pounding beat of a (finally) new track, “Locomotive”. Overall, the gig was a cool throwback to ‘89, as Phil reminded us: “Hey Vancouver—welcome to Hollywood!” - E.S. Day The Illuminati, C’mon, Les Tabernacles, Starvin’ Hungry New City Likwid Lounge, Edmonton, Alberta Friday, Sept 17th, 2004
What a killer night for rock fans. When Montreal’s Starvin’ Hungry are just the opening act, you know your eardrums will be beggin’ for mercy by the time the dust settles and the lights go on. Frontman John Milchem led his band through an assault of heavy, angular tunes that managed to sound nostalgic and new at the same time. With a razor-thin mustache,
C’Mon
photo: Phil Duperron
Brant Bjork & The Bros, Hooded Fang The Brickyard (and A&B Sound, Seymour St.) Vancouver, BC Monday, September 6th, 2004
photo: Jackie Dives
Deep Purple, Thin Lizzy The Orpheum, Vancouver, BC Saturday, September 11th, 2004
horn-rimmed glasses and muscles bulging out from under his tee-shirt, this guy kicks it like a geek-rocker on steroids. Plenty of power and finesse to spare. When are ya ever gonna see someone wield a vintage 12-string guitar like a weapon while screaming like a banshee instead of jingle-jangling their way through a Byrds retrospective? Unfortunately, tons of latecomers missed out on these guys and will have to pick up their debut disk Damnesty to find out about them. Edmonton’s own Les Tabernacles played their first bar show in a while, proving once again that a little raunch ‘n’ roll goes a long way. They drew the crowd into a sweaty, leather-clad mass before C’mon swooped in for the kill. Under his trademark cap and stringy beard, singer/guitarist Ian Blurton played the part of the bedraggled Godfather of all things loud while his sexy sidekick Katie Lynn Campbell held down the bottom end and teased the crowd into a tongue wagging fury. After a thunderous set of threeminute shakers that left most people too dazed to do anything but stumble up to the merch table cash in hand, there was still The Illuminati to go. Could it get any better? Not without a shovel to dig up the dead. - Phil Duperron The Black Keys The Drink, Vancouver, BC Sunday, June 5, 2004
Judging by the capacity crowd at The Drink, The Black Keys have been doing something right. I found out what that something was when they took the stage, launched into The Stooges’ “No Fun” and, quite simply, made it their own. Guitarist-vocalist Dan Auerbach’s lilting and soulful delivery was both world-weary and passionate while drummer Patrick Carney provided the primitive backbeat. Together they morphed the song from a bratty kid punk anthem into a “keep-on-keepin-on” kind of song—something born more of experience than boredom. And this is it, really. Two twenty-somethings up there playing like old men who rock like young men. Tapping into something forgotten by most and butchered by many. Real deep blues, man. Honest and unaffected songwriting that proves it ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you’re at. They spent the night sounding all their own, but I kept thinking of the Jimi Hendrix Experience with Bill Withers on vocals. That’s a good thing. They pulled off a Kinks and a Beatles cover as convincingly as their take on Junior Kimbrough’s “Everywhere I Go”, which made me really glad to be holding a double Wild Turkey. They jumped deftly from garage-psych to deep blues to R&B rave-ups. Patrick Carney’s beat twisted and turned around Auerbach’s guitar lines, ebbing and flowing but never losing sight of that hypnotic rhythm. The crowd, decidedly (and thankfully) unhipster, danced and received them well, confirming what I already knew. These guys are for real. Pass the barbeque sauce. - Shit Ricky The Killers The Commodore Ballroom, Vancouver, BC Friday, September 3rd, 2004
If Robert Smith had started A Flock Of Seagulls, they would have turned out the debut album by The Killers. They’re looking Las Vegas and feeling Australia; mind you, the state of R&R today is quite confusing for listeners… Their self-produced album Hot Fuss was luckily mixed by Alan Moulder (U2, Smashing Pumpkins) and Mark Needham (Fleetwood Mac). What the Hot Fuss is all about remains to seen by this writer. Appearances on Pepsi Smash and The O.C. have already enticed my thumbs to point downward as I cross them off the “Street Chic” credibility list. The UK is all over these denim dimwits, which I’ll predict will pave the path to EuropeDom—“Made In the USA - Lost In The UK”. From the city of sin to the city of smoke, The Killers arrived in time to entice every artsy fartsy Rock ‘n’ Roller in Vancouver to come out of the woodwork. Judging from the massive numbers of ties and blazers in the extensive line up (the show was sold out), fashion has seemingly taken a top spot in The Killers career path. The one-hour set pulled tracks from their debut, but judging from the crowd, singer Brandon Flowers should have worked a catwalk from the middle of the stage. Oh yeah, they did close the set with their Boyfriend/Girlfriend song that’s all the rave, but the notion that a band like The Killers would find themselves doing not one but two encores seems a little premature for a band who only has one album to their name. They were a tight-knit bunch live, so if they play their cards right, these Vegas vagabonds might just break even. (2 out of 5) - E.S. Day
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WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
My Bloody Road to Death
Worst CD
Tvangeste Firestorm Neoblast
Holy Christ. Holy sweet mother of God. Holy Hell-in-a-handbasket, this album sucks my balls. “The Prussian Treasures!” the press release says, “absolutely amazing! Majestic, noble, symphonic sound and sophisticated, technically perfect solos!” Everyone should buy this album just to own the artwork. Just look at that dude with the
sword. LOOK AT HIM!!! Oh yeah baby, the whole band gets these triumphant pictures. We’ve got snakes coming out of eyes and magical crystal balls and the band marching in the moonlight with a wolf. Jesus God, this is what happens when you give some European D&D noodleheads a keyboard and a record deal: really bad Cradle of Filth. And for fuck’s sake, if you’re going to bother singing your shitty battle tunes in English, could you at least choose a name that us lowly mortals can pronounce? The lyrics too are a treat and a half: “Undying Sun of Native Land! The blood is not as purple as you are.” Sorry, my Prussian friend, I didn’t quite catch that. And did I mention there’s a RADIO EDIT on this disc? Lord, I wish I could see the kiddos bee-boppin’ to “Under the Black Raven’s Wings” down at the discotheque in Yakutsk. The digitized “raven” noise that starts the track off is titaniumstrength hilarity as well; it sounds like a computerized rendition of a chipmunk in labour. Fuck! Shit! Balls! They’ve got the Baltic Symphonic Orchestra and the Prussian Chamber Choir jizz-lobbing orchestral glory all over this train-wreck. But, you know, you could have the only known polygraph scratch of Mozart blowing a tuba with his asshole and it wouldn’t make me want to listen to this pompous pool of ineptitude any more than the laws of good journalism force me to. I have never seen the word “sword” so many times on a lyric sheet before. Now let’s have a look at the photo gallery, shall we? - Bertrand
NERVELAND’S NEWEST MEMBER Published in house by our own Book Editor J.P Patchez with senior partner Laura, this rare, perfect bound first edition weighs a full 7 lbs 14 oz and boasts the finest materials and high end production. It’s about time something wonderful happened around here. Welcome to the world Jaden-Mary Poole.
Ainsworth
By J. Ainsworth
T
his is about the Metric System and how it is useful only in the sucking of milk from a cow’s undertubes. I was walking down the street minding my own Damn business and carrying my new yardstick, it’s a beauty, when some cocksucker comes up to me like a bat out of hell. He looks at me, and he looks at my ruler, and he’s apanting like it’s his own business, like he ran a race. He asks me, “Hey! I’ve got a rebar I knocked out of a fifteen hundred kiloton mound of cement, and my boss, that cocksucker, he’ll fire me less’n I can fix it before he gets back from his lunch.” So we went over to fix it. It was my job to hold the level, but first we had to measure the damaged rebar with my yardstick so he knew how much of the fucked up rebar to cut off. (He hit the rebar with a big hammer by accident when he was trying to hit some other goddamn thing. He was so enthusiastic you could see it in his eyes. He loved that hammer. Can’t blame him. I’m saving up for this lovely nine-pounder they got for sale at the Army and Navy. You could walk straight into heaven with a hammer this nice. Nice wooden handle, none of this fiberglass faggotry. But at twenty dollars, I’m going to have to spend some time saving!!) I take my yardstick, go up to the rebar, and this guy, he just looks at me like I’m offensive. “Man… man is that an… Imperial Yardstick? Man, that’s fucked up. That’s a fucken child’s measuring stick!” Unbelievable. This is what the forced and violent Social Engineering and Metricical Enforcement in the youth days has led to. Some son of a bitch reckoning the stick that will save his life is sub par. Old hat. I just walked away, pausing to take my yardstick. Anybody who can’t figure out the gentle fractions of the Superior Imperial measuring system should be taken out and stabbed. It is shocking that these science guys and the moral scientists with all their brains and their degrees from fucking Heidelberg can’t figure out the
finite exquisity of multiplying fractions. Oh no, they say, my very important stupid gene experiment is gonna be all fucked up if I can’t use liters of genes. You know what I say? If you can’t handle your genes in pints, then maybe science isn’t your thing.
Look at this equation for a second. Just look at it. 1 + ! etcetera + 10 = 100 hundred * point 5 equals 100.5. This is math with out a soul; Math without anger and its leading ecclesiastical architecture straight into fopland. Now, get your math around the Imperial version. 1 1/8 divided by 1 8/32 = ( 2 1/8 + negative 1 3/8) is equal or greater than 25 16/132. This, THIS is how you architect a fucking house of God. Mathematics, eh. Going right down the toilet. Christ, CHRIST I’ve been looking at a Rock ‘n’ Roll poster for the last hour... “The Ugly Memorys”, it says. It’s… it’s spelt wrong, for god’s sake. I have been informed that it’s on purpose. Disregard, then.
A dialogue in Hell between a Greek and a Turk. Greek: I agree with the above dissertation that the metric system ipso facto is a bunch of nonsense. Turk: I concur it is self-evident OOOH Stop! Stop it you devil! Greek: <giggle> Turk: Stop IT! STOBBIT! Oh <giggle> Stop it Gary,I’m trying to concentrate… Greek: Snuggles! Snuggles! Turk: oh FUCK OFF Gary… <giggles> … a little harder… Greek: <giggles> It all goes to show. Thanks for reading! Also the metric system is no good at the racetrack.
THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 25
SKATE SPOT
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Skate
Shreditorial
Weight Gain The Skate Spot is now fatter than Dave Carnie. Thanks to the kindly sponsorship of Montreal’s Underworld, whose new VanCity shop is currently under construction on Granville, the Spot is expanding from a column into a section. This means there’s space for guest writers and photographers to talk even more crap, as well as more Skate Spot-trademarked inane trivia wrapped around smartcracks. In the future, look out for new sections like Smoked Am (XXL amateurs), Girl Parts (she-gnar), Skarchitecture, Snow Balls (men’s snowskidding), Snovaries (duh), Radkins Diet, Gnartist Profiles, Kimme Advice, Letters to the Shreditor, and photo sections like Frame Grab, Full Bleed and Video Daze/Hellavision.
Vancouver Skate Plaza Opens Seven years in the making, as of Saturday, September 25 the new downtown street plaza is officially open for grindy flippery, though the place has already been skated heavily for several weeks. Conceived as an urban business plaza displaced to under the Georgia Viaduct, the park is a street purist’s dream, with pop mandatory for most lines. New Line Skateparks and Van Der Zalm Landscape Architects faced a tricky design challenge, given the site’s fairly small size, odd shape, and concrete viaduct pillars, and moderate budget. The designers showed a lot of restraint, taking the minimalist route and aiming for simplicity. The major ordering device, a series of concentric circles radiating from the main entrance at the northwest corner, works well to keep the park cohesive as well as taking advantage of the natural high-to-low elevation change of the site. The strongest part of the design is the attention to detail. Ground plane texture variations and multiple granite ledges bring out those sometimes-neglected elements of feel and sound. The stairs have authentic details like treads and nosings, and even the boundary fencing skips the usual wire mesh for a more architectural feel. Thanks to all involved for a job well done. As well, thanks again to openminded politicians like Al DeGenova and Lyndsay Poaps in City Hall for making quality youth-oriented public space a priority. Wax ‘em up! The ledges, not the humans, you dolts.
Bonsor Park Coming Soon Under construction at press time, with an opening date set for Saturday, Oct. 2 at 2pm is Spectrum Skateparks’ Metro Skatepark (aka Bonsor Pipeline) right by the Jubilee skytrain stop. Watch out for a full review next month when it’s finished. The design includes three distinct sections: the Metro Square street section featuring authentic Pier 7-type ledges; The Dogleg bowl with flowing New West-ish banks; and the Bonsor Pipeline O-shaped pool coping bowl with fullpipe and Banzai Pipeline name check. Where on planet earth is Chris Miller when ya need him? This is going to be one fun park. Almost as fun as the park is the City of Burnaby-generated pamphlet boilerplate, which we must now quote: the Pipeline section is “...designed to create considerable return momentum for more experienced skaters” and their investment analysts. The Dogleg has a THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 26
“...circular layout to encourage a variety of continuous motion runs”, which I got when I ate that dog leg burrito in Mazatlan. Don’t forget the “...seating node with small roof structure...youth can rest in the shade and watch other skaters” ride around in pelting rain. Don’t get us wrong, Burnaby, we love the new park as much as clunky writing, which is a lot.
New Shops Next to Bonsor is the skater-owned and operated Push skate shop, which has that real shop feel down to the masonite service counter and skate-wheel door pulls. Run by owners Eve Feaver, Tony Snell and manager Gordon Faulkner, the shop is supporting a lot of local companies and has the widest selection of grip tape colours we’ve seen - enough variety for even the most discriminating rifle-gripping survivalist. Check ‘em out at 6766 Jubilee Ave or call 604.434.PUSH. Also in new-shop news, watch out for Superior Tattoo and Skate, a new shop opening soon at 2767 Commercial Drive, conveniently adjacent to the local cold beer and wine store. The store is owned and operated by Ken “Goonie” Fleming and Chris “Campbell Kid”, according to the usual lacklustre Skate Spot fact checking. The store stocks Dan Cummer’s Maniac clothing and decks (604.417.8550), which can also be found at the Gibson’s skate shop or at China Creek. So the next time you’re caught in a Commercial street hacky circle, pick up a painkilling yet blood-thinning bottle of Maudite, lie down for a huge back piece, then go skate China Creek for a trippy blood infection. C’mon, think of the endorphins!!
Addendum - 32 Inch Canvas Skateboard art is where it’s at and some originators of the form will be exhibiting in this multi-city/artist traveling show. The exhibition will be in Calgary, Saturday Sept 25th, 8pm12pm, at the C1RCA Showroom 536 9th Ave S.E., Back Door Upstairs. More than 60 artists will be featured, including: Andy Howell, Broken Home, Cody Hudson, Evan Hecox, Geoff Mcfetridge, Heavyweight, Kalifornia Republik, Micheal Leon, Madreal, Sam Flores, Uxa, Zephyr and many more local and international. The show is also coming to Vancouver and Toronto, so check out the online flyer for the details: www.giant45. com32INCHCANVASWEB.jpg Thanks to Zev Klymochko for the info.
Regress? I’ve had a few. Analog presents “Boner”, Tuesdays at the Lamplighter at 210 Abbott in Gastown, starring the Boner Brigade of Mick Twist, Tony Cawk, Slappy Grind and Gaytor. Don’t leave your girl in a surf bag in the desert, bring her along for skate videos, no cover, and free pool. Gaytor loves free pools, especially of blood. Then on Wednesday you can catch Skate Night at Pub 340. Don’t forget to bring your fresh footy, and to leave Friday morning open for genital antibiotics and stomach pumping. Why skate & destroy when you can S.T.D. & D.U.I.? -D-Rock and Miss Kim. Email us at downspace@telus.net . Website in full effect at downspace.com.
M
Gnartist of the Month: Jay Pay
r. Jason Pay grew up in Calgary, attending art school at the Alberta College of Art before deciding that skating and snowboarding were his true path. He moved to VanCity fulltime in1996 to concentrate on rad radness. When we spoke to Mr. Pay he was somewhat burnt due to livin’ it up for a week and a half since the Jaks China Creek comp. He presses skate decks and skimboards, and does art in a variety of media. Jay is a true individual who enjoys skating, snowboarding, art-making, not shaving, and monosyllables.
Skate Spot: So, Jay, what kinda arty stuff are you doing right now? Jay: Party stuff? Well, right now I’m doing some customized skateboards. SS: How about those gorilla graphics? JP: Yeah, I’ve done some limited edition prints. SS: Weren’t you in the Slam City art gallery? JP: Just once. SS: How about silkscreen stuff? JP: Mostly I’ve been doing woodblock printing and stencils. Scott Browning framed that one. (points at “Gardening at Night” print). SS: What inspires your artwork? JP: Beer. I dream of drinking for free. I made my first skimboard because I didn’t want to pay for one. All my artwork comes out of
RADKIN’s DIET -
This morning I awoke to my raging hangover. I was feeling like a sack of shit, but somehow I knew all was not lost when I turned to discover that my blow up sheep had not deflated over the course of the night (pull the wool and jam the lamb!). Standing in my bedroom, I realized the only thing that would fix this hangover was a skate with the boys at Hastings, a six-pack of Iron Horse, and a big ass BBQ. So here’s the recipe for Keen’s Girthy Mushroom Cap Burgers: INGREDIENTS LIST (makes four burgers) 1 pound lean ground beef (* vegheads substitute 1 pound chia pet) 15 mushrooms of your choice 1 white onion 1 tbsp. Worchestershire sauce 1 tsp. Pepper 1? tsp. Salt 1 tbsp. Dijon mustard 1 tbsp. Chili flakes 1 tsp. Rosemary (dried or fresh) 1 tsp. Thyme (dried or fresh)
being a cheap-ass. Anything you buy can be made. SS: What’s your favourite medium? JP: Um, I dunno. Large. SS: What made you decide to go to ACA? JP: The system told me to go. If was fun because I met a lot of people. I was just a kid...17. SS: Is Raymond Pettibon (Black Flag graphic artist) your favourite artist? JP: No. Maybe. I like the comic book style, like graphic novels. SS: Does art get you ladies? JP: No. SS: Does a beard get you ladies? JP: No. Beer gets you ladies. I don’t have a beard; I just don’t shave. SS: What were your favourite skate spots in Calgary? JP: H.D. Cartwright school for sure. I used to skate the Posessed Palace underground ramp downtown. It was in the half-built Catholic school board building. Team Posessed built it... it was a miniramp. I would skate Riley Park. I skated downtown every day. (Jay starts busting out a bassline through a mini Camel cigarette-pack speaker.) SS: Do you do all your creative work under the name “ProCreation” ? JP: ProCreation for hard goods. I can be emailed at jaypay72@yahoo.com. - Miss Kim and D-Rock
INGREDIENTS LIST (for red pepper aioli)
1 grilled red pepper (grill until skin is blackened all over) 1? cup mayo 1 clove garlic pinch of both salt and pepper pinch of chili flakes
RECIPE FOR BURGERS Puree mushrooms and onion in food processor Mix into ground beef with herbs, salt/pepper, worchestershire, dijon and chili flakes Grill for approximately four minutes on each side RECIPE FOR RED PEPPER AIOLI After pepper is blackened place in a bowl and cover with Saran wrap Remove twenty minutes later and peel and seed Puree in food processor with remaining ingredients Now put it all together with all the necessary condiments (pickles, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard) slap it between a bun and mow down on that burger like it’s your first time!! -KEEN
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S
Hastings Comp: Youth Uprising
aturday’s rain gave way to a blue-sky Sunday, as the Hastings Bowl Series competition went off on Sept. 19th. Good attendance led to good energy, which led to some inspired bowl shredding. I remember when I was a grom, my first TransWorld had a Pro Spotlight with Chris Miller Indy noseboning the crap out of the Upland Combi-pool, and I remember thinking that I’d never get to skate anything that epic. Fast forward to Hastings, which is basically Upland with smoother transition, and think about this being a free public park with little enforcement of pad and helmet rules. Canada ain’t so bad. Arriving just in time for Girls’ comp, I witnessed the transmogrification of estrogen and urethane into explosive gnarestrothane. Char Hunter showed a lot of speed and power, whipping around in the Sarlacc pit with little regard for the toothed monster. Pixie was showing fire and is quickly becoming the Dale Earnhardt of the ladies set. Always on the bleeding edge, Dana sported a blood pumping skeleton look complete with hook which lasted exactly one slam, although it made it through some fast dual lines with RDS’ Kathy Miller, who took first place with her consistent and varied skating. Any relation to Chris? Results: 7. Wild Card 6. Mina (grom) 5. Pixie 4.Allie 3. Dana 2. Char Hunter 1. Kathy Miller.
T
Photo: Lawrence McLaughlin
China Creek: Jaks Comp
Glenn Rebick: Full Bleed, China Creek.
Justin Lintunen: Front Board
he annual China Creek/Jaks skate comp went down (ed.- like some Taliban jets) on Saturday, September 11. Attendance was relatively low this year, possibly due to the opening of the brand new superskatetastic downtown STREETPLAZA funland. Back at stinky old China Creek, foreboding rain the night before gave way to blue skies and sunbeams the next day. Old school bowl tricks, lip tricks on crapped out 2-year old 1⁄4 pipes, snaking, slamming, pain, and blood were the order of the day. Good vibes and finely brewed beverages flowed in abundance. No ambulances or fights this year, and the 5-0 let it be. The session overall was pretty killer.re experienced rippers, it was cool to watch the mini-shredder kids. It made me think back to when I first started skating and couldn’t even ollie. Not that I’m super good now or anything, but I landed a tre flip once. I swear Ray saw it. Anyway, it was snake or be snaked in the warm up. Barging through was occasionally necessary to get a line in and often resulted in crazy skateboard madness, close calls and
Photo: Jeff Cole
George Faulkner and Mike Faux: Twice the Rock.
Four standouts come to mind: Byron Briscoe landed catch o’ the day, rodeo transferring over the spine, then ...oops, he did it again! Best trick, at least in my mind. Stevie D did more lines than Pablo Escobar, going ollie-oop to nollie fakie to backside disaster to fakie ollie to half-Cab to run-on sentence. Reigning champ Johnny Byers rode stylish lines like a feeble transfer to 5-0 to hurricane with badassitude. Then came the surprise, at least for me. He was a standout kid before, but this year he growed up an’ blowed up real good. In various lines, Cody Trujillo executed 1-2-3 melon transfers over spines and hips, generated huge tuck-knee speed, hooked a big stale fish, and aired over the corner fence. Kid’s channeling Jay Adams or something. First place. Results: 6. Steve Lang 5. Mike Prangnell 4. Byron “Muscles” Briscoe 2.(tie) Johnny Byers & Stevie Denham 1. Cody the Kid Steve Lang was the Last Man Standing and won a board even bigger than his standard. A petition to save China Creek was passed around, Jaks played skate hockey, Chalmers did a huge half-Cab to Slayer hair toss, then rode the bowl with a hockey stick as chaos reigned and the fleet broke up. Another fun Bowl Series event. See ya at Bonsor. -D-Rock and Miss Kim
Photo: Jeff Cole
Advanced: Quinn Starr let his backtail slide, he let his front rail slide, he ruined the rhyme at Miller flip time. Prangnell played cro-magnon P.I. with a front-to-backside boneless, a
frontside invert, and huge backside airs; better to die on your knees than live on your feet. George Faulkner no-complied with Ray Barbee steez, and Lemmy just say Trevor grinds coping like it’s a motorhead, Steve Lang rolled in over the flat and caught a li’l tranny, then 3 flipped his 40” board - uncanny.
collisions. Sometimes two or three guys attacked the teacup at the same time. The contest began in the mid afternoon with the beginners sesh. A few heats later it was obvious that local Glenn Rebic was going to come out on top. Ryan Christensen swept the intermediate division with kick flips and b/s 180’s into the channel of the teacup, and huge one-footers and ollie grabs out of the tub, amongst other things. In the expert category the action really got intense. Louis Philippe came through with a couple of crazy half pipe lines in the teacup which included bigspin axle stalls, body varials to disaster and other tech moves, sometimes barely hanging on. It was enough for him to take the advanced title. After a bit of post competition puttering, most folks, if they were old enough, retreated to various bars or house parties to drink excessively. Betcha I wasn’t the only one who woke up Sunday morning with a pounding hangover. Luckily there were a few brews left in the fridge so I headed back to China Creek where it was business as usual. Go big and go get more beer. -Daniel Cummer
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Film
MALE FANTASY
Robert Dayton’s Male Fantasy? No, it isn’t two chicks at once...
Oh for fuck’s sake, now his mug is in on the silver screen and in The Nerve. What’s next? Guns & Ammo most likely.
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By Michael Mann
he only reason Brad Damsgaard wants this article done is so he can buy a little more time before he has to crack open the Nerve safe and pay Greg Milton, the producer of Male Fantasy, for producing the Sprëadeagle video. He’s one of those guys you see everywhere. He has red hair. Some call him Big Red. He used to have facial hair but doesn’t now. He’s also produced a video for The Organ and some videos for Tegan and Sara. The only reason Adrian Mack wants this article done is so The Nerve can earn favour with Mint Records (Male Fantasy is directed by Blaine Thurier from the New Pornographers) and he can get some free A.C. Newman CDs. The only reason I’m doing this article is so Greg will give me a job on the next film he does. I’ll spell it out for you if you haven’t figured it out yet; this article is one big circle jerk. It’s a film article payola. Except no one associated with the Nerve or this movie makes any money. The only one who’s gonna get anything out of this article is Adrian Mack and all he’s gonna get is an A.C. Newman CD. Fuck him. Male Fantasy is gonna be screening at the Vancouver International Film Festival this year. It stars this guy Robert Dayton. He used to write for Terminal City (a Vancouver weekly for you out-of-town readers) and he’s the guy who when you go out is usually wearing a sweater, trucker hat, glasses and a porn star moustache. Basically, he’s the dude who sticks out like a sore thumb wherever he goes. I think he looks kind of like Terry Richardson. If that vague description doesn’t tell you who this guy is, I think he’s in a band called Canned
Hamm but I could really care less about that as this is the film section. My film section. I never liked the music in The Nerve. Except when they did an article on Atmosphere. They were cool… THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO. The Nerve doesn’t know shit about hiphop. Nerdy emo whiteboy shit is out. Dirty South is what’s hot now. You don’t even fucking know what “the dirty dirty” is. You’ve never even heard of Young Buck. You’ve never drank Hpnotiq. You think I just spelled Hpnotiq wrong but you’re wrong. Crunk? That’s the first time this word has appeared in The Nerve. So fuck you Adrian Mack. Fuck you and your shitty frontin’ music section. (Uh, Michael? Yeah, listen, you’re FIRED. Ed.) Having killed any credibility this article might have, we should talk about the movie. While the red carpet film festival gala for the Vancouver International Film Festival was going on at Cin Cin, another type of gala was going on with Robert Dayton and myself. This gala took the form of drinking beer and Bushmills on the shady patio (actually more of an enclosed alleyway) at the wonderful Met Pub on Abbott Street. As junkies scrounged up enough tobacco out of cigarette butts around us to make a full cigarette, the bespectacled and be-moustached one speaks about his premier theatrical offering. “It’s an unsexy movie about sexy issues. It’s not for everyone. It’s a comedy but it’s very dark. My character gets a divorce, he hits rock bottom and he gets a little loopy. His version of loopy is pretty extreme and he starts to feel like he’s a god.” Despite no formal acting training, Dayton pulls off a convincing and likable performance. “I’ve done a lot of performing over the years. I’ve done a lot of theater and stage stuff.
I’ve done a lot of persona work, generally ad libbed stuff that I would create,” says Dayton. “I’ve taken some acting lessons since the movie. Their advice to me is that I’m not ready for an agent yet, but I have an interesting look.” Though the movie has violence and nudity, it is lacking in the zombie department. But Dayton tackles the hard to swallow fact that his movie has no zombies head on. “Zombies are too trendy.” Despite Male Fantasy being zombie-free, Dayton is opinionated on the topic of zombies; “a dead person should not be moving fast unless it has been injected with the virus rage or has caught the virus rage” This lack of zombies hasn’t discouraged people though. Along with a favourable review in Variety declaring Male Fantasy a cult hit, the movie has been well received by critics and filmgoers at South by Southwest, the Toronto International Film Festival and the Vancouver International Film Festival. No word yet if the movie plans to screen in hurricane ravaged Florida. While some press focus on the fact that Male Fantasy has no zombies, a lot of the mainstream press has been having a difficult time accepting Dayton as the unlikely thespian based on his physical appearance. “I have to get used to the basic concept that if you’re an actor you’re a piece of meat. But I haven’t seen the other actors getting treated as rotten meat, they’re just treated as meat.” One example of this being Darrin Maharaj, probably the most effeminate “man’ in the city and the biggest joke currently on CityPulse “News,” “You wanna talk about a real fuckwad? We’re filming this movie and they come to do some publicity that’s gonna air that night on
the hard-hitting CityTV evening news. I use the term “hard hitting” loosely. He enters the room and goes, ‘who’s the male lead?’ and I go ‘I am.’ He was incredulous and was all, ‘You’re the male lead?’ I was like, ‘Yeah Armani, I had my features de-chiseled for the role.’ That went through his ears. You said you came up with questions on the walk over here? How about this for a question to ask me... ‘So, do you get more action in the movie than you have in your entire life?” A gutsy question coming from a “man” who wears eyeliner and probably spends more on facials and manicures than I make in a year. Dayton was phased by the question but not phased enough to shut up about it and has some harsh words for Maharaj, “It was a notch on the bedpost kind of question. I bet he’s dating a lot of walking talking fuck dolls. Fuck dolls with pulses. I date interesting, intelligent, attractive, fascinating women.” Male Fantasy is screening at the VIFF and will be probably be screening at a few places in town after that. Keep your eyes open. Let me say that this movie is definitely worth checking out, even if you don’t know anyone involved with the production of the film. I haven’t written one of these articles in a while but if I remember correctly you’re supposed to leave the reader with an inspirational quote from the subject you interviewed. I can’t really find anything so how about some Georgia Straight bashing instead: “When a guy who is the movie critic for the Georgia Straight says I have a geeky moustache. It’s pretty pathetic. The movie made him feel good about himself and he’s the movie critic for the Georgia Straight. Here’s an idea for a more pathetic movie…. It’s a movie about the film critic from the Georgia Straight.”
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Film
CINEMUERTE
I
By Jackie Dives
think it was John the Baptist who once said, “WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU!” when Jesus moved his rock and rose from the grave. On second thought, maybe that was Lucio Fulci with his maggot-ridden conquistador zombie? Regardless of where one’s worship lies, be aware that there’s a full-blown feast awaiting all you film cannibals at the end of October. That’s right baby! Cinemuerte returns for Round Six!!! Gore and exploitation junkies would be well advised to book the days and nights of Oct. 27-31 off from their mundane day jobs to prepare for the impending barrage. Now understand that there was much turmoil in months past. This all might never have been. Kier-la Janisse, whose efforts with Black Dog Video, Criminal Cinema, as well as the Cinemuerte Festival and magazine have provided this city with needed injections of horror, has abandoned our cherished Pacific Northwest for the dry, cow-poked, Bush-country of Texas. Fucking Texas?!? But thankfully, she’s coming back, if only for a few days, and bringing some local Texan heroes with her.
Nerve: What are you doing in Texas? KJ: I’m programming at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema in Austin. This means I source films, pitch movie ideas to the owner, then book the films, and book guests. Over the last two weeks I’ve booked James Ellroy, Pauly Shore, Peter Bogdanovich and some of the Degrassi kids. I book their flights, hotels, send them their contracts, and babysit them while they’re here. I can’t really complain.
Nerve: What is your favourite thing about Texas? KJ: Close proximity to Louisiana, where cockfighting is still legal. I go there at least once a month and spend the day betting. Nerve: What are you most excited about this year for the festival?
THE NERVE OCT 2004 PAGE 30
KJ: I’m excited because it’s my first year with female guests and excited to see all the regulars again. These people give me so much energy. Their loyalty makes me really happy.
Nerve: Do you have any guests lined up yet? KJ: Lee Soo-yeon, director of The Uninvited will be there, Millie Perkins and Matt Cimber from The Witch Who Came From The Sea and the legendary Jim Van Bebber will be there for The Manson Family. Jim Van Bebber is known for being a wildly unpredictable guy, so I’m crossing my fingers that he won’t maim anyone. Nerve: What can we expect to endure during
Nerve: What makes a film worth putting in the festival and how do you decide exactly what goes in? KJ: I invite submissions but usually I’m not happy with what I get. Most of the films tend to be handpicked from other festivals and from film archives. I try to have a mix of retro titles and new stuff. I usually try not to have too many films that are similar or from the same country but that’s probably my only conscious guideline. Other than that it’s usually just how excited I am about the film.
Nerve: Which of your favourite directors from the glory days of yonder do you think
Nerve: What is your favourite thing about Texas? Janisse: Close proximity to Louisiana, where cockfighting is still legal. I go there at least once a month and spend the day betting.
the exploitation all-nighter? KJ: Other than that it opens with Takashi Miike’s (Ichi the Killer, Dead or Alive, Audition) new commercial horror film, One Missed Call. He makes about 6 movies a year. This is a new Ring-type movie he made. It’s his most commercial film but it does have the usual Miike perversity and wit. Then it’s Poor Pretty Eddie, probably my favourite film I’ve seen in the last year. It’s mid-70’s, produced by Mike Thevis, a porn mogul who went to prison for bumping off a few people, and edited by Frank Mazzola, who was the fight choreographer on Rebel Without A Cause. After that is the TBA that I am saving for something new, then Lady Terminator, a crazy made-in-the-Phillipines action/horror film with so much gunplay it will blow your mind.
have now sunken the lowest with their recent output? KJ: Argento sucks hard now. He’s a junkie. He’s unfocused and obviously just needs the money.
Nerve: Where do you stand on the recent craze of horror movie remakes? KJ: The new Dawn was OK, but the problem with these films is that they really don’t need to be remakes or sequels. The new Texas Chainsaw wasn’t any more like Chainsaw than the first half of Jeepers Creepers was, or Wrong Turn, so it could have just been a new movie influenced by Texas Chainsaw. I’m not angered or offended by the whole thing. I like the fact that the studios have at least temporarily owned up to the fact that genre films are their bread
and butter. I just think it’s stifling to directors and writers who are trying to create something original. All these films they’re remaking went against the grain when they [first] came out, they were all controversial or fresh in some way, so to really come up with something just as good, the studios are going to have to let go of the reins and let filmmakers do what they want. Just don’t give them so much money! Make them use their brains instead of their wallets.
Nerve: What is the single most ineptly made genre film to see the light of proper distribution? KJ: Van Helsing. It was so bad I kept trying to fall asleep.
Nerve: Have you heard that Thor is coming out with a sequel to Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare? It’s called The Intercessor. KJ: He was talking about it at Cinemuerte last year. It’s about time. Thor is King.
Nerve: Which yet to be released movies are you most looking forward to? KJ: Well, I wouldn’t normally be excited about a Rob Zombie project but his new movie apparently stars E.G. Daily, and that’s reason enough for me to be excited. And I’m excited to see the new Jeff Lieberman movie Satan’s Little Helper, his return to horror after about 20 years.
Tickets for the festival will be available at Black Dog Video starting October 23rd and at The Pacific Cinematheque starting October 27th. If you are interested in having your masterpiece shown at the festival check out BloodShot, the 48-hour filmmaking contest. Winners will receive prizes and have their flicks played on Friday October 29th. www.cinemuerte.com
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Film
Gore
NASCHY RISES FROM THE TOMB FOR ALL HALLOWS’EVE
F
By Sinister Sam
alse creek rots of corpses. They are corpses that float throughout the abyss of the dark, tunneling beyond the soil of the side streets. This year, the corpses are on the move. They were dumped in dark Europe and will float hauntingly beyond the abyss of the dark ocean and into our nightmares. The abyss is home to the atrocious beasts of yesteryear that stalk the canyons and delve into the fuck holes of the pits of Halloween. The limbs of the deadened sod scrape against the hides of the leathery green beasts that haunt the depths as they make their way across the canyons and the mountains of the watery lost world. A world of insurmountable pressure and darkness. The corpses make their way into the fortress we know as the West Coast. They grind and slither their way into the waterways that lead to the areas of live flesh that is ripe for scare tactics and fucking hell on the dark lit screen. The fucking nightmares take hold as you witness the dark white shapes and float under the bridge we know commonly as the gate of Cambie bridge. These new visitors of the rotted carcass know this place as the climbing point for the streets that lead to the Cinematheque. A place of dread this Halloween that takes shape as a tower of inferno, of depth, and a falling pit that succumbs to the horror…. CINEMUERTE… These corpses that rot and slither along Howe Street come from the mind of a creative being, Aleric de Marnac. He made these beings from a satanic hunger. Mabille DeLancré is the evil female ghost that helped de Marnac reap his vengeance and dump the corpses into the dark swamp behind the castle of one resurrection of the De Marnac creature. A creature that decided to come back via a blood/beheading cult to kill the beings of the dark Spanish landscape. The corpses were dumped into the swamp only to come back and be vilified by Thor’s Hammer – sent back into the depths of the dark swamp and into the oceans of dark mystery (HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB Dir: Carlos Aured 1973). If you haven’t broken out the stones and bones figure out who I’m talking about, the dark swamp king of Halloween is Paul Naschy. Get the wolf blood skull and work out the incantation again. YES! Naschy has risen from the tomb of Seventies masterpieces and is starring in the 2004 feature entitled ROJO SANGRE (Dir: Christian Molina) that will play at this year’s Cinemuerte horror film festival (Oct 27 – 31 at the Pacific Cinematheque). ROJO SANGRE is the story of an underappreciated horror/genre actor that has spent a lifetime playing the roles of monsters in several different horror films. As the story goes, he discovers that his days of creature features has hit a dry spot and he finds a sad reflection of his old self eventually succumbing to the job of a
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“human statue” in front of a whorehouse. Coupled with the murder of his daughter, his wife leaving him, and the lurid rise of the new disheartening employment, Naschy’s character goes on a murderous rampage that utilizes the aesthetic and ideologies of his past monster roles. Seemingly, this new film acts as a semi-autobiographical piece that celebrates the “unappreciated” themes that Naschy has been a part of for the last couple of decades. Due to the “dated” formation of his horror ideology and stance that when it comes to the amazing 70s mix of classic horror-dom. Emma Cohen’s breasts, and good darkened cheap blood will suffice. I agree that to some extent Naschy may be overlooked in his country, but the scope of his work is almost impossible to not trip over as he is the almighty when it comes to very cult/serious ventures into classic creature features. Naschy has written and acted through a vicious telltale assortment of master horror films that stick within a parameter of darkness that truly captures the heart and soul of the dark Spanish horror atmosphere. ROJO SANGRE is a fitting piece that reflects some of these themes theatrically. Now, if we can only have Naschy’s directors like Carlos Aured and Leon Klimovsky also celebrated in movie form, we can all rest in our dark caskets easy…. Oh yes… the darkness… I have been asked to provide the Satanic film footage for the BARRIER KULT video premiere at Antisocial skateboard shop sometime mid October. Yes, the video looks like it is going to possibly be the darkest, most cutting hell stone shaving event that Vancouver’s skateboard world has ever known. PURE highway barrier skating mixed with ritual and piles of Eurotrash Satanic ritual footage…. Halloween… YES MASTER…
ATTACKED!!!
by Happy Bats?
From Oddity to Happy, video store gets a facelift
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By Dave and his Shot Glass ell, with the Devil’s Night fast approaching, it felt like the right time to send some props out to some local merchants of death, fighting the good fight for our right to bad taste: Cory and Erica, the proprietors of Happy Bats Cinema at 15th Ave. and Main. This little-video-joint-thatcould burst open a short age ago under the name of Oddity Cinema, offering us “celluloidal anomalies” and filling the gaping hole that was left after Reel-Horror was put to death. But just as things started to roll, Oddity founder Chris Bavota jumped ship to the miserable gloom of Edmonton to start a new shop, and now these two eager beavers have moved in, upped the title count by about 500%, and moved well beyond the walls of just horror and anime. British comedies, Criterion, 80’s imbecilities… “Oh no!” shout the purists. But fear not, as all is for the best. Spicy is a life of variety, as some jackass reputedly said, and it seems that sometimes change is a damn good thing. So we sat down for a little Q&A.
Nerve: How did you two end up owning such a killer little operation? Erica: Chris was trying to sell the store, so [Cory says to me], “Hey, do you want to buy a video store?” He didn’t think I’d take the idea seriously. Cory: Yeah, [Erica] was like, “Why, do you know someone who has one?”
Nerve: So what’s up with the name change? Erica: It was either on Showcase or Bravo, they had Shriek Week or something like that, and there were these happy bats cartoons dancing on an orange background. There was this really happy music, but in the background there was slashing and chainsaws.
Nerve: Do you ever get passersby coming in, kind of aghast at some of the films on the rack? Erica: Oh yeah. We had this one woman, she came in with her kids, and she just went (eyes wide, shocked gasp). She looked at the first wall and said, “Let’s get out of here.”
Nerve: Does having your store next door to the Chinese Family for Christ hinder your business in any way? Erica: Umm…. No.
Nerve: Which of the coffins is the one that had someone inside? Erica: Our coffee table. Cory: It was a viewing coffin, for people who might’ve ended up in a cardboard box or something. Now it’s a footrest. Nerve: Who’s the guy with the billboard and the crazy hat? Cory: That’s Dan, AKA The Wizard. Erica: We want to get him this big fuzzy black bat costume.
Nerve: How did you convince him to do this? Do you pay him in anything more than smiles? Erica: He volunteered to do it! It’s work experience. He’s still in high school.
Nerve: Was the addition of the 80’s section your inspiration? Erica: I grew up watching those films in the 80’s, so I have a particular fondness. Some of them are really bad, but I still like them. An old time favorite horror film of mine was April Fool’s Day. I loved that one. Nerve: So you’re an 80’s chick then? Erica: Umm… well sort of…
Nerve: How do you feel about Corey Feldman? Cory: I don’t.
Nerve: Any Happy Bats future dreams and ambitions? Cory: I want to make the place that wasn’t there for me when I was first starting to watch movies. I grew up in a small town and had to travel three hours [to go to the cinema]. But when VHS came out, it was like 50 movies a weekend. When I first started watching different movies, I’d say, “Do you have this movie?” and the first answer wasn’t yes, it was, “Oh, you haven’t seen that yet?” Now if someone comes in here and says, “Do you have this?” I’m excited that they haven’t seen it, ‘cause I know what they’re in for. We’re not just special because of what we [carry], but because I’ll talk to someone if they have questions about anything whether it is two weeks old or ten years old and made in Sweden….
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Puzzle Page
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Win a pair of tickets to the PLANET SMASHERS show Oct 14th at The Brickyard
Bring your completed puzzles in person:to The Nerve office weekdays between 12- 5pm or you can mail them to: The Nerve Magazine 508-825 Granville St. Vancouver, BC V6Z-1K9
-by Dan Scum
Across 1. An STD that affects the liver 5. Type of smear 8. _____ (A Dubb) 12. _____ with a view 14. Ms. Longstocking 15. PORN STAR Reid 16. Fable 17. Change for a finscrew 18. Type of sex 19. XXX 21. Loud and piercing 23. Possess 24. Hurry! 25. Place for ANAL SEX 26. “Well, it’s been _____!” 30. HARD ON 32. Spermless LOAD 33. SEX act with multiple guys on a girl 36. FUCK 37. PENISES 38. Some have black eyes 40. Name of numerous PORNOS 42. GENITAL cold sore 43. Blow-up dates 44. FUCKED 45. Snake 48. Nesman or Claypool 49. PORN series “The Bang _____” 50. CUMMING sound, maybe 52. SEX TOY for 25 Across 57. Chinese sauces 58. Gooey substance left on an i-mac after watching INTERNET PORN 60. Exclusive 61. SEXY (abbrv) 62. Place to CUM 63. Where to find a Sherpa 64. Yugoslav 65. “Let them ______ PUSSY” 66. Belonging to the star of EVIL DEAD Down 1. Pot alternative
2. Ethiopia volcano 39. FUCKING 3. Indigent 41. Guiding Light character 4. Piece of rope Chamberlain 5. Yearn 42. Hurry! 6. Chimp, e.g 44. The Sausage ______(or 7. Nirvana “Territorial Pizza______) _______” 45. Gluteus maximi 8. PORN ______ 46. GET LUCKY 9. PORN STAR Russof 47. Comedian Richard_____ 10. Asian peaks 49. ASSES 11. TESTICLES 51. Tavern or restaurant 13. SUCK ______! (abbrv.) 14. Theme of this puzzle 52. ASS 20. Be in debt 53. Trial entry 22. Jew 54. LABIA 24. Cracker, old school 55. State to have Multiple 26. Software company wives in 27. Loose Lipped Lady 56. Sets 28. Linda Love______ Last Issue’s Solution: 29. Tattooed 30. FUCKS 31. Forced SEX upon 33. _____ Gone Wild 34. Nuclear Engineering and Radiological Sciences 35. Be open 37. Bad Blacksploitation Pimp
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