Volume 24 - Issue 5

Volume 24, Number 5

The magazine about Yale and New Haven

•

Family Violence: Shattere Lives

April 10, 1992

TheNewJoumal (pom'~gran' it,

pom' gran'it) n. I . A chambered, many-seeded globose fruit

having a tough, usually red rind and surmounted by calyx l obes. the edible portion consisting of plc> ~'"::.ntly acid nesh developed from the outer seed coat.

2. A new gourmet cafe (minus the tough, usually red rind) serving the Yale community.

PuBLISHER

Sarah DiJulio EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Kathy Reich MANAG ING EDITOR

Emily Bazelon SENIOR EDITOR

Erik Meers

Just One Blockfrom the Old Campus

242 COLLEGE STREET • NEW HAVEN • 776-3304

BUSINESS MANAGER

Tina Asmuth DESIGNER

Annerte Kirchner

More than a tobacco store

PRODUCTION MANAGER

Jay Porter PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Valerie Burgher ASSOCIATE PuBLISHER

SINCE 1934

Kathleen Weyman

G IFTS FO R ALL OCCASIONS

ASSOCIATE EDITORS

•MUSIC BOXES•CUTLERY •CHESS SETS•WRITING INSTRUMENTS 624-3250 New Haven, CT 06510

268 College Street

Joel Tesoro Charlotte Brooks ASSOCIATE D ESIGNER

Beth Zasloff SUBSCRlPTION MANAGER

Yoshi Inoue STAFF

Kate Brewster • Masi Denison • Susan Dominus • Julie Freedman • Jason Gilbert• Sonya Joo* • Julian Ku Caitlin Macy • Savannah Neely David Suisman• Seija Tupasela* *elected Apri/4, 1992 Members and Directors: Edward B .

Bennett III • Constance Clement • Peter B. Cooper • Andy Court • Brooks Kelley Patricia Pierce • Fred Strebeigh • Thomas Strong

Always 100/o Student Discount visa me accepted

Frit!nds: Anson M. Beard. Jr. • Edwa rd B. Bennen. Jr. • Edward B. Bennen Ill • Blaire Bennen • Gerald Bruck • Jonathan M. Clark Louise F. Cooper • Peter B. Cooper • Jerry and Rae Court • David Freeman • Geoffry Fried • Sherwin Goldman • John Hersey Brooks Kelley • Andrew J . Kuzneski, Jr. Lewis E. Lehrman • E. Nobles Lowe • Peter Neill • Julie Peters • Fairfax C . Randal Nicholas X. Rizopoulos • Arleen and Arthur Sager • Dick and Debbie Sears • Ri chard Shields • Thomas Strong • Elizabeth Tate Alex and Betsy Torello • Allen and Sarah Wardell • Daniel Yergin

916 w halley avenu e new hav e n, ct. 3876 7 99 2. THE NEw jOURNAL

APRIL 10, 1992

'I heNewJournal Volume 2.4. Number 5

The magazine about Yale and New Haven

S T A N D A R D

April 10, 1992

s--------------

4 About T his Issue 5 Newsjournal Building Beinecke To Heal the Hill 7 Between the Vines: Exhibirionisr Enrerrainmenr... by Andrea Moed 28 Afterthought: Tipping rhe ScaJes ... by Nina Morrison

F EAT U R E

s - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

10 Captive Audience? by Seija Tupasela. Can th~ gkmy Chan~/ On~ ukvision n~twork ~ducau stud~nts in b~twun th~ comm~rcia/s?

12 Quinnipiac's Guardian Angel. by Susan Dominus. F~d up with drugs and cri~ in th~ Quinnipiac urrau housing proj~ct, Virginia Hmry took maturs into hn- own hands.

16 Doodle Dynasty. by Peter Seibel. Dining inN~ Havm hasn't b~m th~ sam~ sine~ ~nk~~ Doodk cam~ to town .. .42y~ars ago.

18 Unbalanced Equation. by Savannah Neely. Has a &karth ofwomm stu&knts andfaculty mark Group IV th~ hardi~st old boys' n~twork at ~k?

20 Dwight Hall: The Spirit of service. by Jolie Taublieb. For ova- a hund"d~ars Dwight Hall has stood in a uniqu~ position, linking th~ univ~ity with N~ Havm.

22 Shattered Lives. by Emily Bazelon. Th~ stau kga/ sysum has only b~gun to addr~ss th~ iss~ offamily vioknu and its &kvastating impact upon womm and chi/drm.

cowr art by &rh Zasioffi cowr tksign by Annnu Kirchn".

(Volume 2-4, Numbtt 5) 71N Nnu j~l'1fll1 is publish.,.! fiv~ times during th~ school year by Th~ N~ Journal at Val~. Inc.. POS( Office Box ~32 Yal~ S12tion, N~ Ha~n. CT 06520.

Copyrip1 1992 by 1"M N~ Journal•• Val~. Inc. All righu r~- Rq.roducnon <ima on whok or in part ,.,thou• writt<n pmrussion of~ publiSher and edJtor·in-d>id' is proh•bit.,d.

This map:tine is publish.,.! by Yak Collcsc stueknu. and Yak Uni·~~ is not rcsponsibk form ront"?ts. Ek>'<n ~ cop•cs of~ ~an dimibut.,d IT« to members of~ Yak Uniwrsity community. 71N Nnv ] 111, 111/ is prin<.,d by Turley Pubhaoons of Palme-. M.A. Boollecpmg and bilhng ~ an provided by Colman Boold<«l""' of New Havm, CT. Office address: Calhoun Colleg~. 189 Elm Stt«t, GB50--Ca~ntry Shop. Phone: (203) 432-1957 Subscripuons •~ ~V2ibbl~ <O ~ outsid.~ the Yak community. R;ues: One year, $18.

T- years, $26. TIN Nnv jotmutl encourages l~n~rs to th~ .,di<Or and comment on Yale and N~ Havm ISSUCS. Wm~ [0 Kathy Reich, Edi<onals, ~32 Yale: Suuon, N~ Havm, 06520. All lmc:rs for publication must includ~ address and sign••~- TIN N'"' }ou17fll1 r_..,cs th~ nght <o .,.In alllc:ncs for publ~Cauon.

cr

AruL 10, 1992

THE NEW )ou.NAL

3

ABouT T

The New Joumal Thanks J

Iona Brindle

Britton Payne

Rosita Choy

jennifer Pitts

Katie Dixon

judy Porter

jess Goldman

Larry Porter

Will ]anensch

Michael Rubin

Anna Ljunggren

Peter Seibel

Katherine McCarron

folie Taublieb

AndreaMoed

joan

~isman

Nina Morrison

Stu Wt>st

Calhoun Master

Steve Ury Calhoun College

Turan Onat

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HIS

IssuE-

n April, Yale students can become myopic. As seniors obsess over essays, as juniors juggle seminar papers, and as all students struggle with exams , we have little time o r energy to face the outside world. By putting the issue of family violence on our cover, we hope to bring people out of their weenie bins to consider the realities of their community. We have compiled the:.e women's stories to make people think. Battering happens to women everywhere-across the lines of class, race, and education. It happens to women at Yale.

Family violence is not the only article in this issue that concentrates on New Haven rather than Yale.

Whether we write about community advocates or everyone's favorite neighborhood diner, Th~ N~w journal reaches out· to New Haven, hoping to learn fro m and learn about its inner workings. From the Quinnipiac Terrace Housing Project to Hillhouse High School, the city offers vital glimpses of life beyond the Ivory Tower-all the more crucial in a place like Yale, where we often lose sight of everything but Sterling Memorial Library.

The last weeks of school will slip by before we know it, and we want to take this opportunity to thank all the seniors (and our one graduate student) who have literally taught us everything we know. Best of luck to Anna, Jenn, Katherine, Joey, Masi, Sue, and Dave--we know that you.r talents will be appreciated wherever you go.

As for the rest of us, we have our next issue to plan . We're holding a meeting on Monday, April 13 at 7:30 in our office in the basement of Calhoun under Entry F to discuss TN]s summer issue. If you're interested in writing, photography, design, layout, or selling ads, please attend or call Kathy at 436-1441.

I

-KDR APRIL 10, 1991

NEwsJouRNAL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - --

Building Beinecke

the old books and manuscripts, and 798 screened bulbs illuminate the A harem bathing chamber in books within the cower.

Istanbul inspired the design of the A collection that now consists of Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript 500,000 volumes and several million Library. Gordon Bunshaft, the build- manuscripts traces its origins to a back ing's architect, constructed the original shelf that English literature Professor miniature model of the library with Chauncey Brewster Tinker, known as side panels of Peruvian onyx in an the first "Keeper of Rare Books", attempt to reproduce the chamber's began in the main library, housed at tan glow. the time in Dwight Hall. In 1930, the university transferred the collection to Suppliers in Peru, however, lacked boulders large enough to supply the the Rare Book Room of the new necessary sheets of onyx. Bunshaft Sterling Memorial Library. Officials searched elsewhere, including Tunisia, requested a separate building in 1958 where political strife prevented any wh'en the collection expanded beyond extraction.

Without a source, capacity. A donation of several milBunshaft considered other materials lion dollars from the Beinecke family for the side panels. He rejected enabled Yale to make plans for a new alabaster because it dissolves in rain- facility. water and glass because it cracks durBunshaft continued to draw on ing harsh New England winters. The foreign models for the exterior of the marble used to build the Acropolis in building, this time from France. To Athens was not richly veined enough. complement the Neo-Classical and Finally, a Vermont supplier suggested Gothic buildings that surround Montclair Danby marble. Although Beinecke, he stylized the building's Bunshaft felt the stone's yellow and surface to match those of Commons black streaks contrasted too strongly in and Woolsey Hall and copied a box~ like structure from a Gothic library in ~ Rouen to harmonize it with the Law -o School and Berkeley College. ; Mixed reactions greeted the final result. "There is no excuse for putting :i this brute of modern design in the ~ midst of gracious and beautiful build~ ings," fumed one architect and Yale ~ alumnus in a letter to then Yale g President A. Whitney Griswold. At :::1 8 the same time, an article from The Times of London proclaimed, "The whole spatial co n ception is one of remarkable simplicity, which the severely classical exterior expresses." the sunlight, he eventually agreed to The number of opinions around use the marble in the construction. the building's design matches the Today, sunlight filters through many legends that have sprung up Beinecke's translucent walls and floods around Beinecke.

One popular tale the ground floor and mezzanine level. concerns the fire-extinguishing system A six-tiered glass shaft that rises in the that seals off sections of the library and center has the capacity to hold pumps in gas co smother the flames.

180,000 volumes. A constant temperature of70 degrees and humidity of 50 Officials stopped using carbon dioxide percent provide optimal conditions for after employees voiced safety concerns.

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APRIL 10, 1992

"There were red signs saying clear the area within one minute," explained Christa Sammons, Beinecke Library's Publi c Relations Officer. "Carbon dioxide makes the voice drop an octave and causes headaches but is not incompatible with life. " The system now uses halon, a safer gas.

The library's underground level, divided into sections like a submarine for further fire protectio n , houses bookstacks for an additional 600,000 volumes. Offices and a reading room surround a sunken courtyard that Bunshaft modeled after the medieval cloister scriptorium. He filled the space with sculpture instead of planting to reduce the danger of water seepage into the books below.

Bunshaft chose Isamu Noguchi as the sculptor. As buildings in the Middle East and Europe inspired the architect, South Asian structures provided a model for the sculptor.

Noguchi carved Imperial Danby marble into shapes reminiscent of huge astronomical viewing instruments he had seen in Jaipur, India. He created a sphere to represent the sun or cosmic energy, a pyramid to symbolize the geometry of the earth or of the past, and a cube to signify chance.

Bunshaft once wrote that he wanted to dramatize the rare book collection's importance in a building that stands in the heart of the Yale campus.

Even Beinecke's detractors must admit that he fulfilled that goal. The library's THE NEW jOURNAL

5

striking design provoked Yale Corporation member Wilmarth S. Lewis to declare in his dedication address in 1963, "Nobody at Yale can be unaware of the Beinecke Library, and it will be a very incurious scholar who will not venture inside it at least once.

..

-Rosita Choy

To Heal the Hill "The Hill Health Center is not an umbrella for other organizations, but rather an octopus," said Alderwoman Toni Harp (0-2). The center, located just beyond the Yale Medical School, extends its tentacles into New Haven's social fabric to address a variety of the Elm City's special needs.

In 1968, a group of Yale Med students founded the clinic on a shoestring budget to care for people in the Hill, one of the most economically troubled areas of New Haven. Today, the Hill Health Center (HHC) serves 120,000 patients a year w ith a staff of 200 and has branches in Dixwell and at the Jackie Robinson Middle School.

HHC's bilingual staff supplies a wide variety of basic medical services to the community, from treating children's cavities co delivering babies.

The clinic provides free medical care for welfare recipients and a sliding rate scale for other patients. Federal, state, and local governments cover twothirds of expenses, and patient fees make up the balance.

The center has launched efforts to mitigate acute New Haven problems like under-employment, AIDS, homelessness, and drug abuse. HHC also runs the Senior AIDES Program, which places elderly New Haven residents in jobs at non-profit organizations. "Senior citizens supplement their often restricted incomes," said Harp. "They also feel useful contributing to the community."

To combat the growing problem 6

THE NEW JouRNAL

of teenage pregnancy in New Haven, the clinic sponsors the Young Parents' Outreach Program that provides special care for pregnant teens and enables them to stay in school. The Healthy Start Program oversees pre-natal services, while the Hispanic Mothers Outreach offers bilingual counseling for entire families. HHC provides pregnancy testing and assigns social workers to pregnant women. Even if these women do not return to the center, the social workers makes sure chat

don't use drugs, many still have unprotected sex." Aside from its health education programs, HHC provides medical care and support for 500 AIDS patients in New Haven.

"In New Haven, crises compound," said Alderwoman Escher Armand (D-7). "Substance abuse has always been a significant problem. But coupled with the loss of jobs, drug and alcohol addiction has been on the rise." Addressing chis increase, HHC plans to open a 25-bed detoxification

.

~

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they continue to receive care.

HHC doctors do not perform abortions, although the center provides pregnancy counseling. In violacion of the gag rule, counselors still discuss all options with patients.

"Despite the government's intentions, the rule has not changed our actual operation," said Harp.

AIDS poses another challenge for the center. "It's alarming to see how HIV has entered 'new' populations like women and especially teenagers in the past year," said Steven Ingram, the Director of AIDS Outreach at HHC. Ingram's AIDS program focuses special attention on New Haven youth, striving to change high-risk behavior.

"I honestly believe chat most young people are aware of how AIDS is spread," said Ingram. "But even if they

center on Cedar Street later chis spring. "We hope to provide accessibility to detox for all people, regardless of their ability to pay," explained Armand. "We need to take the pressure off the emergency room."

HHC plans to continue providing vital medical; psychological, and social services to the New Haven community. Imminent cuts in Connecticut's General Assistance and Aid to Families with Dependent Children programs, however, will further burden the center. "Without these subsidies, people will not be able to afford the basic necessities essential co maintaining good health." explained Harp. "The threatened cuts won't make our mission any easier, but we'll survive."

-Michael Rubin APRIL 10, 1992

Exhibitionist Entertainment AndreaMoed

was time to give somebody else a turn. I sighed as two burly men grabbed me by the corners of my borrowed Velcro suit, and peeled me off chat ; fuzzy surface. If only Velcro Jumping Thursdays at Bahama Bob's could last forever.

Decades after disco's

hundreds of America's Funniest Home Videos and dreamed of getting their own public access cable shows, just like Wayne and Garth of \%yms World.

But unfortunately, we can't all have our 15 minutes of fame right away. For local exhibitionists who haven't yet hit the airwaves, the new karaoke singing and "challenge" bars have become the adrenaline oudet of ch oice, and New Haven is their newest mecca. Come the weekend, Yalies and townies alike flock to the clubs just to make complete fools of themselves.

In the early hours of the evening, as sane people finish their happy hour buffets, dedicated jumpers arrive at Bahama Bob's to assure their places in line and check out the terrain. Already, the Velcro pit crew has marked off the field with "CAUTION!" tape and has started handing out "consent" forms to sign. No one needs to tell these adventurers that they will be courting injury or death. The forms warn them of a more gruesome fate: their names and photos may someday be used in sponsors' promotions. If you can't overcome the fear of publicity, you clearly don't belong in the game. Besides, the rewards make jumping worthwhile-cash prizes for the best jumps, complementary cassetces, and waitresses spraying alcohol into the crowd from pump bottles. All because, as an emcee reminds us, we're at

It was Letterman who first let people in on the joy ofacting goofy in front ofhordes ofstrangers, and now they just can't get enough. the only place in town whece " YOU can stick. ..YOURself...TO A WALL!!!"

But first comes another daunting challenge-that of keeping amused for the hour before the jumping starts.

When the thrill of sitting around, drinking, and watching TV wears off. the surrounding neighborhood offers ample opportunity for fun. Right down the block, you can find a APRIL 10, 1992

THE NEW JOURNAL

7

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musical playground at Play It Again Sam. Sam's, a piano bar with a mission, offers its guests the chance to grab the spotlight w ithout even putting down their drinks. On a raised p latform in the center of the room stands the central attraction: the dueling (or dual-ing, as it is mispelled on the bar's marquee) pianos. At two facing baby grands sit two Sams, ready to play it again, or play it a third time, or play any tune that's catchy. They perform tag-team style: as Sam One bangs out the song on his piano, Sam Two pounds a rhythm on his, while shaking a tambourine with aerobic intensity. Switching back and forth, they provide high-octane, if not virtuosic, renditions of "Day-0," "All Shook Up," and other party-starters.

And, wouldn't you know it, they seem to have memorized every Billy Joel hit ever written.

Pizza• Pasta • Casseroles • Subs • Gyros • Souvlaki • Sandwiches • Seafood • Chicken • Steak • D aily Special • Salads • Platters • Burgers• Wings • Beer • Wine • Desserts

ut these Piano Men aren't content to just sing. They want us to sing right back at them-not meekly, but like we mean it. From the club's walls not-so-subliminal messages scream, "Clap my hands and shout...

Kick up my heels and SHOUT!" and

.,IDJ ~~ '"/. .!A~~~- ·

YI~Jitk( - - - - -0 - ··

1R([flf~UJJIR(~1r 288 York Street•New Haven 787-7471/7472 just behind Sterling Library

8 THE NEw JouRNAL

B

the Sams have apparently sworn to uphold the house rules if it kills them.

First, they appeal to us college kids, teasmg out several classic rock songs with constant audience prompts.

"All in all it's just aWHAT?Another Brick in the Wall!" scream both Sams in unison, evoking Ethel Merman far more than Pink Floyd. Next they try dirty versio~s of Beatles songs, hoping we'll chime in on the naughty words.

"Desmond takes a trolley to the jeweler's store," adlibs a Sam, "Buys a pack of condoms for a buck/ Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door/ And as he gives it to her they begiJl to ...

To... ?" Silence.

Later, in the middle of the Village People's "In th e Navy," some frat guys finally deign to scream back a c~orus.

The Sams, visibly p leased, seize the moment to segue into an upbeat Billy Joel standby. Unfortunately, almost no one else .picks up on this burst of enthusiasm. After turning around to see who the show-offs are, the other patrons go back to stirring their drinks and humming. By this point, Sam One has had about a ll he can take.

Wondering aloud whether we're all just sissies or something, he launches into a classic called "There's a Skeeter On My Peter, Wackin' Off." More silence.. "Maybe you don't care," Sam sniffs, "but I do!"

Back at Bob's, the crowd has swelled and anticipation is building.

The emcee, however, appears to be APRIL 10, 1992

having a crisis. After bantering on about the joys of Velcro for over an hour, he's running out of things co say.

As the contestants suit up and fling themselves at the surface, all he can do is fixate inanely on their names: "This

Next they try dirty versions ofBeatles songs, hoping we'll chime in on the naughty words. is Quick Vic. Will Quick Vic stick?

Quick Vic sti ck? Q uick Vic W ILL stick!" Maybe he's gone into an infinite loop- i f so, no one is paying attention. Not only that, but after a few minutes, no one watches the jumping anymore, either. As at Sam's, the anticlimax is heartbreaking. That person spread-eagled up there on the wall probably waited all week for this, the most embarrassing moment of his life so far. And now, he might as well be the "Where's Waldo" guy, for all the attention he's getting. What's the deal here, anyway?

Maybe, like with TV car crashes, prolonged exposure to odd public behavior d esensitizes us to it.

Or maybe "challenge" bar-hopping is like any supervised play period-when it's not your turn on the swings or the slide, it's just another long line to stand in. li1J Andr~a Mo~d

....

~....

~:"

•

is a unior in

Pi~rson

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Your summer just won>t be complete unless you help out on our Labor Day issue. Come to the next TNJ meeting: Monda]> Aprill3 at 7:30 in our office in the basement of Calhoun College> entryway F. All writers> photographers> artists, computer whizzes> and ad sellers are welcome.

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9

Captive Audience?

Seija Tupasela or a week-long series called "Popular Culture: Inside Hollywood," teenage hosts interview the producers of Final Analysis and Waynt"s World about the movie business. The 12-minute broadcast closes with advertisements for Ooritos and Pop-Tarrs, and then flashes back co a "Facing the Future" question for its viewers: "Is it okay for mothers of high school students to have full-rime jobs?"

T he program appears not on MTV, but on Channel One, an educational nerwork that broadcasts to over 9000 high schools across the country, including New Haven's Hillhouse High School. At Hillhouse, the show airs at 7:50 a.m. and receives little more than a glance from students who trickle into class early. Those who have been half-listening laugh at the notion that mothers of high school students don't work. At an inner cicy school like Hillhouse, the question has little relevance.

When Superintendent of Schools John Dow, Jr. first introduced Channel One to Hillhouse hsr spring, it sparked a great deal of controversy among teachers. Some objected to the advertisements, while ochers argued over when to air the program so that it would not disrupt the school day.

Hillhouse Principal Lonnie Garris, Jr. counts himself among Channel One's fans. He believes that the benefits of the program outweigh irs shortcomings. "Channel One

F

Commt"rcial 7V prt"cuks homttroom at Hillhouu High School.

10

THE NEW jOURNAL

provides far- reaching opportunities," he said. "We have only begun to realize its potentiaL" His enthusiasm seems in part from the recognition that by broadcasting Channel One, his resource-starved school can get extra funding and equipment. In exchange for the permission co broadcast irs programs o n a daily basis, the Whircle Educational Nerwork gives schools televisions, videocassette recorders, and satellite dishes. Teachers and administrators can take advantage of the television monitors to broadcast announcements and videos. "Cha nnel One's beauty is the way in which the school can use the equipment," said Hillhouse English teacher Sandra Friday.

But other teachers express skepticism about the use of TV in education. Chemistry teacher Lise Orville chose not co allow a Channel One monitor in her homeroom because she feels chat commercial television has no place in the school. " I chink students watch too much television, period," Orville said. " I find it distracting."

Even reachers who like the program don't believe chat ads belong in a school setting. "Although I suppon Channel One, I don't like the ads," admitted social studies reacher Dr. Burt Saxon. "Getting Channel One for free with ads is a Faustian bargain."

Whittle representatives point our char ads, which appear fo r two out of twelve minutes of each broadcast, make the news program possible. "When the Berlin Wall fell, we were there. When Nelson Mandela was released from p rison in South Africa, we were there," said Hicks Neal, an anch o r correspondent for Channel One. "To fi nance these lcinds of trips, we need a lor of money." To Neal, the benefits of international news coverage offset che negative implications of advertising in schools.

By presenting news in a format that appeals co high schools students, Channel One hopes to catch the attention of its audience long enough co get across crucial bites of informacion. And with global coverage, the nerwork claims that it can prepare American students for an increasingly interconnected world. "We're helping to make the world a litcle bit smaller," said Neal.

To calm the initial storm that erupted over its decision to air C han nel One during the school day, the Hillhouse administration chose to air the program before homeroom.

Many administrators regard homeroom as the ideal rime co APRIL 10, 1992

watch C hannel One, but teachers need that time to take in exchange for much-needed funds, the business sector will attendance and listen to announcements over the public expect to dictate the direction of American education in the address system. Broadcasting the program later in the day future. " I fear the result of corporate intervention will be would disrupt classes. As a result of the early-bird time slot, schools that just produce workers," said Saxon.

Experts like MacMullen question the motives behind few students and teachers watch the program. Some students don't even know it exists. "I never saw it," said the business commun ity's newfound interest.in public Hillhouse student Yasmine Paylor. " I never even knew schools. "If the business community is interested in public about it. " Even students who make it to school before education only because it chinks of students as products and homeroom don't seem to follow the program closely. "I their educational needs in terms of economic competition, watch it every once in awhile. It's like news for kids, kind of then we have reason to worry," she warned. educational," said another student.

The actual impact of Channel One on Hillhouse stuSome teachers approve of Channel One because it tries dents does not seem to live up to detractors' fears. Because to keep students informed about current events. Many of most students hang out in the hallways instead of flocking the students at Hillhouse come from families that do not to the TV monitors, few watch the program enough for it encourage kids to read the newspaper or watch television to exert much influence upon them. news programs. Teachers appreciate Channel One's attempt But supporters' hopes for the network fall short as well. to address this deficiency. "The news is current and makes The students interviewed who watch Channel One do not students aware of what's happening around the world," said pay more attention to the show's content because of its slick history teacher Mark Gould, the Hillhouse coordinator of format. As a result, any exposure to current events that stuChannel One. "It's geared to their level." dents gain from the broadcast is minimal. English teacher Those who object to Channel One, however, criticize Friday, who has a television in her homeroom, does not the program for talking down to students. With its teenage think that Channel One has caught on with most students. hosts, simplified language, and ads that target adolescents, "My impression is that some of the students watch it, but Channel One reflects America's lowered expectations of its not eagerly," she said. students. "The format of Channel One is the kind of forAlthough students on the whole greet Channel One mat that dominates the media already. Everything is given with indifference, when they do comment on the program to students in short snippets," said Edith MacMullen, direc- they mention its format-not the news inside the package. tor of the Teacher Preparation program at Yale. "I think it's While the program's stated purpose of educating students demeaning to kids that we nee;d~to~~~~~m~ak~e~si~m~p~le~¡.........:a::b:o~u~t~im:.:.!:::::.::.:~.:.:.:.:.:::::..!~ virtually unnoticed, its hosts and lower the standards for and ads successfully appeal to them to learn . We should be their audience. One student, challenging them instead. who says he watches Channel Complexity is not limited to One occasionally, does not a few people at Yale." think the program helps him Educators' concern over find out more about world Channel One's introduction events. "It's okay," he said with of corporate advertising into a shrug. "I like the kids that schools reflects a deeper fear. do the show. And I like the As the Federal government 1111 withdraws support from public education, big business is picking up some of the tab. Educators worry that ArRlL 10, 1992

THÂŁ

NEW jOURNAL

II

Virginia H mry difmds h~r housing proj~ct against drug tkakrs and "al ~stau tkv~lop~ alik~.

Quinni piac's Guardian Angel Susan Dominus ive a.m. finds Virginia Henry siccing on a bench, reading the paper, and waiting for the bus that will take her from her home on the Quinnipiac River in Fairhaven to downtown New Haven. By 7:00 she's cleaning in Jonathan Edwards College, where she has worked for the past four years. When her workday ends at 1:30, she heads home to Quinnipiac Terrace, her public housing development, to relax, make dinner, and spend time with her daughter, her grandchildren, and whoever else might stop by.

Tenants who want anything from advice regarding an

F 12

THÂŁ NEw JouRNAL

eviction notice to a little neighborhood gossip find their way to Henry's small three-room unit, where plaques on the wall proclaim her success as a community leader recognized in New Haven political circles. As the head of the Quinnipiac Terrace Tenant Task Force, Henry enjoys elder status in her community. "She fights for us when we need it," says Edna D uBose, another tenant on _the task force. "The only help we've got is her."

Henry's slow, soft drawl belies her reputation as the persistent fighter who led a grassroots campaign to combat drugs and who organized the tenants to protest a private APRIL 10, 1992

takeover of Quinnipiac. "With Virginia, it's always, ' Yes, but.. .'" says former congressman Bruce Morrison. " You could say, 'Virginia, we just got $ 12 million for Quinnipiac Terrace,' and she'd say, 'Yes, I appreciate that, bur what about this, and what are you going to do about that?' That kind of energy and persistence makes her as successful as she

...

IS.

Morrison and H enry allied in 1988 to preven t New York developer Aaron Gleich from buying Quinnipiac.

Gleich promised to provide Quinnipiac with services like a job placement program. He also planned to renovate the facility with funds from the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Henry, however, worried about long term results. Tenants in public housing pay a fixed 30 percent of their income for rent. If Gleich had purchased Quinnipiac, he could have convened the waterfront property to market prices after 15 years, forcing out low-income tenants.

Then Mayor Biagio DiLieto placed H enry and her daughter, Delzina, on a committee to assess Gleich's proposal, but both felt that the commission consistently ignored their input. They resigned from the committee at a press conference in the mayor's office, calling the decision-making process a sham.

When Alderman Frank Grasso (D-12) indicated that he would vote in favor of Gleich's takeover, Henry and tenant supporters picketed his h ome. Grasso thought that the social services Gleich proposed could help Quinnipiac, bur he voted against the takeover in response to tenants' fears about rent stability. The Gleich deal didn't go through, and the developer is now under FBI investigation in connection with his political contributions co New Haven officials.

Even before Gleich appeared on the scene, the Housing Authority of New Haven (HANH) had plans to renovate Quinnipiac. Unfortunately, other sites ranked high~r on their list of priorities. Henry went to work and convmced HUD that Quinnipiac's problems could not wait.

With strong support from Morrison, Henry and her tenants persuaded HUD rep resentatives to visit Quinnipiac. "We showed them the falling plaster, chipped paine, leaky

faucets, walls that were coming apart," recalls H enry. She also pointed our the common hallways where drug dealers and abusers congregated.

"The next thing we knew, HUD told us to give Quinnipiac Terrace whatever they needed to turn che place around," recalls David Echols, executive director of HANH. HUD granted Quinnipiac $12.4 million. Half of these funds went to remodel kitchens and bathrooms, remove asbestos and lead-based paint, and eliminate the common hallways. Quinnipiac plans to use the remaining money to improve the facilicy's grounds. enry moved to Quinnipiac Terrace in search of a safe place to raise her family. She placed her name on a waiting list in 1965 and finally got in nine years later, when the development abandoned a policy forbidding access to unwed mothers. "It had everything," recalls Henry, who has never married. "Grass, trees, a park, nice acmosphere... it was a nice place to live and raise a fami , 1y.

Unfortunately, the same park that attracted Henry also appealed to drug dealers. Not only did the park afford an unobstructed view of oncoming police cars, bur the development's easy access co the highways made it perfect for a quick getaway. By the mid-80's, extensive drug traffic had turned Quinnipiac Terrace into what tenant DuBose described as one big shooting target. "Even now, we can't sit our on our porches the way we used to," she says. "You never know when a bullet's going to come flying."

In 1988, Henry joined tenants from five other housing developmentS in New Haven to form Tenants Against Drugs Dammit!!

(TADD!!). Tenant members reported any drug activity that chey witnessed in the park. Then police chief William Farrell supplied TADD!! members with a direct line to the station and provided each development with up to four officers ro conduct round-the-clock surveillance for three weeks. Two community-based police officers srill patrol Quinnipiac.

Henry does nor let the few dealers who remain at Quinnipiac intimidate her. "My mother and I went to rhe

H

uShe fights for us when we need it, "says a tenant on the task force. uThe only help we've got is her. "

APRIL 10, 1991

THE New JouRNAL 13

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store the other day," recalls Delzina, "and we noticed a bunch of dealers on the corner. She walked right up to them and said, 'What is rhis, a drug dealers' workshop?' They looked kind of stunned, bur they moved off the corner. "

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describes herself as a strong-willed teenager.

Henry poinrs to her mother as a role model. "My mother stood up to my father," she says, "which was something unheard of in those days."

When H enry's parents divorced, her mother left the So uth and took her children to New H aven.

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Quinnipiac sopm fi~/d has umg bun a fovori~ hangout for drug tkakrs. not protect them from the hazards of drugs. One of Henry's own sons is currently serving rime for dealing at Quinnipiac. "He's an addict," says Henry. "H e was supporting his habit.

I told him, 'Don't do it, you might get swept up. '" The police arrested Henry's son during one of the cleanup sweeps that TADO!! fought to bring to public housing. "He knew what I was doing," she says.

V

rginia H enry's own upbringIng in Wilmington, North Carolina bears little resemblance to her children's. "I had never heard of drugs in North Carolina," she recalls. A solid student and popular cheerleader in high school, Henry

One of only 11 black students at Wilbur Cross High School, He"n ry dropped out during her senior year.

She has since obtained a General Education Degree from the state of Connecticut. "Although everyone went out of their way co be nice at Wilbur C ross, I didn't like being a small fish in a big pond," she remembers. Henry intended co enter the military service, but changed her plans when she became pregnane at age 18.

During the ten years between her move to Quinnipiac and her first day on the job at Yale, Henry worked briefly for the H ousing Authority of New Haven when the development experimented with tenant management. She helped tenants with housing upkeep. Although APRIL lO,

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she favored tenant management, Henry felt that Quinnipiac's tenant manager did not treat all tenants equally. She cites one instance when the manager pulled workers off a job repairing the unit of an alcoholic tenant. "I don't care if he. drinks 24 hours a day; he pays his rent and has a right to have that work done," says Henry. After the tenant management plan collapsed, Henry took a custodial positio n at Yale. Although other tenant groups have asked her to act as 'their consultant, Henry prefers the stability of her present job.

H

enry also refused mayoral candidate Bill Jones' invitation to run as alderwoman on his ticket in 1987. She explained that sh e could accomplish more without ties to a political constituency. "When you're on the outside, you can say whatever you want to say," explains Henry. "You have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

Henry's efforts have improved conditions at Quinnipiac, but drugs still plague the d evelopment. Drug dealers and abusers regularly take over empty housing units while the police look the other way. "I once saw the police drive right by. All they said to those boys was, 'Just don't start a fire."' says tenant Fannie May Anderso n.

Tenants always glance outside before stepping beyond their doorstep.

Oelzina H enry looks forward to an entirely drug-free Quinnipiac. "I pray that day 's com ing," she says.

"When I think of the amount of drugs we started with, and what we're down to now-" Her mother, only half-listening from the sink, misses the first half of her daughter's sentence. "It's what we're up to," Henry says, automatically correcting her daughte r. "' we Vr•ve come up, not d own. » .._..

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Susan Dominus, a unior in jonathan Edwards Co/kg~ is on th~ staffojTNJ·

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APRIL 10, 1992.

15

Doodle Dynasty Peter Seibel

I

t all started in 1950 with a $300 prize from a church raffle and a lucky coincidence. Lew Beckwith Sr., a 41-year old sometime bartender-waiter, happened to be working for the Monarch laundry company just when they wanted to sell their store-front on Elm Street. With the raffle prize and a few loans, Lew Sr. bought the building and started a lunchcounter hamburger joint, the Yankee Doodle Dandy, which would become a New Haven landmark and a favorite eating spot fo:: the Yale and New Haven community.

Lew Jr. was 12 at the time and his father put him to work washing dishes every minute that the boy was not in school.

Now Lew Jr. is just Lew, an.d he is the owner, maitre d', shortorder cook, floor sweeper, and waiter at the 12-seat establishment. He started his own daughter, Darlene, working ¡at the Doodle when she was 12, and now she is his only employee, officially the waitress, though if Lew has a second to spare he will ask a customer directly, "What can I get for you?"

Above Lew and Darlene's heads hang signs advertising the Doodle's low prices; the top dollar item is the "Dandy Doodle Double Double Cheeseburger on a hard roll, L&T,

The Yankee Doodle serves burgers to New Havens masses.

16 THE NEw JouRNAL

with onions and bacon-$3.00." Like the prices, the decor seems more 50s than 90s, from the ancient "Drink CocaCola" clock in one corner to the vintage manual cash register. Le""w still uses the same equipment that his father bought when he opened the store, from the Toastmaster toasters to the Tidy Nap napkin holders. Throughout the decades, countless customers have worn off the counter's finish as they leaned over to pay their bill and exchange pleasantries with Lew. Lew spends his day dancing a two-step between a grill about the size of two cafeteria trays and a wooden counter. He cooks everything on the grill or on a single burner to its right; the back burner always holds a plate piled with bacon.

From his spot in front of the counter Lew can reach all the foodstuffs he needs to prepare everything on the Doodle menu, from sliced cheese, tomatoes, and ham to a nutritionist's worst nightmare;- pigs-in-blankets-hot dogs stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon.

Although the restaurant hasn't changed since 1953when Lew's father moved the counter from one side of the store to the other, to add two stools that expanded the available seating by 20 percent-the world outside has changed quite a bit. The country has gone off the silver standard.

(The first bill the Doodle earned, taped in Lew's scrap book, bears the legend "In silver payable to bearer on demand. ") Prices have gone up-"Yeah, prices change," says Lew. "Usually once a year I go up five cents on everything." Yale went coed. "I didn't like to see the change. But now I'm glad because it's better this way." Lew also remembers "when there were 8:00a.m. and Sarurday classes, and when they wore jackets to dinner. Nowadays if you're a senior and you've got a class on Friday you did something wrong."

Lew saw John Kennedy's motorcade drive right by the Doodle on the way to the president's speech on the green.

A few years later he boarded up his windows as a precaution against riots during the Black Panther trials of 1970.

Through it all the Doodle has stayed open, winning devotees in Yale and New Haven. Lew reminisces about the late Bart Giarnatti, who used to come in for a burger even after he left Yale to become Commissioner of Baseball.

History Professor Jonathan Spence, who considers the Doodle an essential contributor to Yale's status as a great research university, ate his first meal in New Haven at the Doodle w hen he arrived from England in 1959. "The Yankee Doodle is for when you need a quick meal and an APRIL 10, 1992.

----------------------------------~---~

absolute bargain ," he says. "You go to the Doodle and get your jolt and get back to work. Long may it flourish. And may it stay cheap." Some other regulars who appreciate a quick meal are bus drivers whose routes run past the Doodle. According to Lew, the buses have phones on them now, and the drivers call ahead to place their orders. They stop at the High Street traffic light direcdy in front of the D oodle, dash in, pick up their order, and get back to their bus before the light changes.

E

xcept for his two annual 12-day vacations, one at Christmas and one in July, Lew has kept the Doodle open almost w ithout pause for its 42-year existence.

"I was closed for a couple of days when my father died and for a couple days when Darlene's other grandfather died. I

to 10:00, and a lunch rush that starts around noon.

The seasons also bring an ebb and flow of business into the Doodle. "Toward the end of the year the architecture students seem to work around the clock-they come in early, " says Lew. "Or on Saturdays if a sports team has to leave early or when there's an exam like the LSAT when everyone has to get up early, then I get a rush." On a normal day Lew serves about 350 customers, but when the dining halls are closed at the beginning and end of the school year it is even busier. "It can get up as high as 500-550 customers a day. There's only 12 stools, and we're only open eight hours. When you're serving 500 people you're pushing a lot of people."

During his years at the Doodle, Lew has seen many restaurants come and go. He attributes the Doodle's staying • • •1) power to a sort oflunch-

1

l ~~~;;;;;::::::::::::::=::::]

"i

~ counter hoi y tri n i ry: ~ "Good food, reasonable ~ prices, and fast service." ~ A fourth factor, the family tradition , has .,·5 undoubtedly contribut~ ed to the Doodle's su ccess. Unfortunately, the tradition will end with Lew. His son, a banker in Chicago, has no interest in running a restaurant. Darlene is going to keep working at the Doodle as long as Lew keeps it open, but she doesn't covet Lew's 4:30 to 3:30 daily schedule.

"It's a lor of work, and I wouldn't be able to do it," she explains.

As for Lew, he will head to Florida the year 2000. when he retires. "I plan to spend most of my time where it's nice and warm, where you don't have to worry about shoveling snow and starting the car when batteries won't start." But the move is still a few years off at least: "I'd like to hang on unril the year 2000 because three things will happen," he says. " I' ll be 62, which is the retirement age; it'll be the year 2000, which is something; and the Doodle will be 50."

1.!

l

o

Lew Bukwith plans to ckJu tlu Doodk and retire to Fwrida in had to go into the hospital twice for operations, but the first time I postponed the operation until my son was off f~r the sum mer and h e kept it open for me. T he second ume I postponed it until he could take his vacation from work."

The Doodle used to stay open until midnight, but Lew has eased back in recent years, cutting the hours to the current 6:30 a.m. co 2:30 p.m. He stiH arrives at 4:~0 eve~ morning to make the coffee and light the stove. That gtves me about a half hour to read the paper and get a cup of coffee myself." Then comes the fi rst of three daily rushes-two breakfast rushes, one from 6:30 to 7:30, another from 9:00

Peter Sdbel is a sophomore in Berkeky Colkge.

THit NEw JouRNAL 17

APRIL 10, 1992

Unbalanced Equation Savannah Neely CC

Suzy Loper {SY '92), the lone fomal.e physics major in her class, helped create the Math-Science sibling group.

18

THE NEW j OURNAL

s

tudies show that women, by the undergraduate years, rend to shy aw7ty from math-related sciences," said biology professor Mary Helen Goldsmith.

Girls learn early that to pursue a career in math or science goes against the grain of societal expectations, and ¡ tany colleges give them little reason :- ~ believe otherwise. Yale proves no .: .~ception to the rule. With few women faculty to serve as role models, Yale may indeed compound the attrition rare.

-Most Group IV departments suffer from a severe drop-off in the number of women who continue past introductory-level courses. Students estimate the female-to-male ratio in upper-level electrical engineering courses at one in four, and the physics ratio at a startling one in ten. A huge gap between the number of men and women science majors plagued last year's graduating class. In the most glaring example, the physics department had no women graduates in 1991 and will give a degree to only one woman this year.

Suzy Loper (SY '92), the lone female physics major in the senior class, believes that the lack of women faculty lies at the root of the low number of female science students. In physics, applied physics, biology, engineering, math, and MB&B, only 6 our of 139 tenured professors are women.

Marian Westley (SM '93), one of four female physics majors in her class, has never had a female professor because there are none in her department.

Only biology stands out among the science departments for its abundance of women students; it in fact

boasts more women students than men. Still, the ratio does not result from any special effort on the part of the university. Instead, biology attracts women because it is the stepping stone to medical school. "People who are more concerned about the practical application of their education choose biology," explained Loper. And some women may choose biology because it ¡ requires less math than other sciences.

"Biology is traditionally more attractive because it doesn't have as much reliance on quantitative calculations," said Goldsmith. Biology also has three women professors, making it the most integrated science department at Yale.

Female students in the "hard" sciences, such as physics, engineering, and math, say that the paucity of female role models on the faculty alienates them from the sciences.

"When everyone you go to for help is of the opposite sex, there is a strange dynamic created," said engineering major Ida Primus (BR '93). Male professors simply cannot fill the void. "It's not so much a matter of male faculty not supporting you, but of having the chance to see people like you who are farther along," explained Westley.

Students like Primus seek summer programs geared towards women, such as Mills College Summer Math Institute, to study under female professors.

Yale women who must look to other schools to obtain the support they need call for a change in the university's agenda. In 1989, a committee headed by psychology professor Judith Rodin submitted a report which called for recruitment of female and minority professors, but the university has no APRIL 10, 1992

THE DOODLE immediate plans to increase the number of female science faculty. "Yale is currently unwilling to recognize the h:ck of women as a significant flaw in its program," said Loper. "But if 40 percent of students in an introductory physics class are women and the graduating class includes only a handful, then there is a problem." omen faculty face obstacles even more daunting than those that frustrate their students. The struggle for tenure contributes heavily to their tenuous position at the university. In the first ten years of coeducation, the number of tenu red women rose by only 18 while the number of men grew by 83. Only one woman received tenure in physics.

"Yale is a university run by its senior faculty, and as long as women remain untenu red it will always be male dominated," said one woman professor.

A few female professors allege that a glass ceiling in the sciences prevents them from getting ahead. "In my experience, the policy has never been to recruit women," said another female faculty member. "I have seen a pattern where women get hired as assistants or associate professors and then are never tenured."

Charles Bockelman, the Director of Undergraduate Studies for Physics, disputes such charges. "It is not a question of not hiring women," claimed Bockelman, "When the position comes up the best person for the job is hired."

And other professors think that the position of women faculty wiJl improve over time. Goldsmith claims that as more women fill the junior and associate positions, the number of tenu red women inevitably wi11 i nc rease. Since Yale lacks a tenure track, however, a junior appointment is no guarantee of tenure. In fact, most junior professors must constantly apply for permanent positions at other schools while at Yale.

W

APRIL

IO,

1992

While the university relies on natural progression of women up the job ladder to remedy its lack of female professors, the u ndergraduate admissions office has adopted a more active policy. Todd Viola, wh o works part time in admissions as the science-engineering coordinato r, seeks out and identifies outstanding high school scientists. He claims that his recruitment efforts apply especially to women and minorities.

For incoming freshpeople, both male and female, the Dean's offic!e sponsors the Academic Mentorship Program in Science. The new yearlong seminar program includes a weekly lecture by a professor explaining his or her personal research, followed by small discussion groups. But the lunchtime discussion group Women in Science, which Viola was to head, fizzled this year because of lack of student participation.

With sparse institutional support, students have stepped in to fill the breach. Science at Yale has taken on a new dimension this year with the addition of an undergraduate support network for science majors. The Math-Science Sibling group, initiated last fall by Westley, Loper, and Nancy Cunningham OE '92), strives to foster communication berween first-year and upper-level science students. But student-run groups don't have the clout to effect real change. Female science students point out that only Yale can change the statistics by directly encouraging women to take science classes and by hiring more women professors. "People hold up groups like Women in Science as a solution to the problem," said Julia Charles (CC '92).

"They say, 'What are you complaining about?' But that escapes the real problem: there are no women science professors at Yale." ..:J

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19

Dwight Hall: Spirit of Service folie Taublieb en the spring thaw of 1982 revealed several odies frozen to death under a New Haven ridge, a grou p of Yale students o rganized a homeless shelter through Dwight Hall. The stude nts used a church as a temporary facility while they consulted appropriate city and county officials on legal matters and polled neighborhoods to find a community that would support the shelter. By November, Columbus House opened its doors, and a board of New Haven residents took over its management.

Columbus House is only one of a multitude of social service programs born and nourished in Dwight H 2ll. A clearinghouse for over 100 student community service projects, Dwight Hall provides a vital link between the Yale and New Haven communities. "Dwight Hall is an important way for student initiative and community initiative to connect," said Hari Osofsky (DC '93), Dwight Hall co-coordinator.

W:

William Johnston , Program Director of Columbus House, regards Dwight Hall as a valuable source of volunteers for public service projects. New Haven community leaders appreciate the personal strength and energy of the individuals Dwight Hall brings to the community. "The people from Dwight Hall participate out of genuine concern, as opposed to public relations," said Shawn Garris, Assistant Director of Dixwell Community Q House.

Dwight Hall opened its doors as the Christian Social Union of Yale in 1879 under the guidance of evangelist Dwight L. Moody, and flourished as a religious center throughout much of its history. In an informal agreement with the Yale administration in 1886, the Dwight H all Cabinet received its present building. "Dwight Hall owned everything inside the paint, and Yale owned everything outside," expla ined Jack Hasegawa, General Secretary of Dwight Hall. As the Yale YMCA, Dwight Hall sponsored E numerous social missions. Eventually, the organization ~ shed its religious affiliations for purely social concerns in response to the changing religious demography of the stu~ dent body. "The Dwight Hall of today still has lofty goals, but of a more secular nature," said Edith MacMullen, a member of the Board of Directors. ~ Dwight Hall founded such New Haven establishments g as Halfway House and Columbus House, and maintains an ...... active role in on-campus social change as well. Freshperson Conference, t he Freshman Counselor system, and even Yale's current co-educational status grew from Dwight 'Hall roots. Over 2000 students participate in service programs run through Dwight Hall. "It is probably the largest single undergraduate activity at Yale," said Hasegawa.

D espite its close ties to both Yale and New Haven, Dwight Hall remains a financially and legally independent non-profit organization. An endowment provides approximately half its $4 million budget, and an annual fundraising drive begun in 1919 yields the rest. The organization thus occupies a unique niche between Yale and New Haven, serving more as a member of both communities than as distinct from either.

Because of its campus location, Dwight Hall enjoys advantages ranging from exemption from liability insurance to more luxurious benefits, such as enhanced attraction for speakers at Dwight Hall events. "Dwight Hall does not have to be limited by or worried about conflicts with the policies of Yale," said MacMullen. "But it does get the ben-

e

Jack Has~gawa brings day-to-day continuity to Dwight HaLL 20

THE NEW jOURNAL

APRIL 10, 199Z

efits of being perceived as part of Yale, as well as the physical benefits. " Dwight Hall l..::aders appreciate those perks, but also cherish their independence. Janet Molloy (BR '92), 1991 Dwight Hall Cabinet coordinator, believes that the center would lose its effectiveness if Yale ran it. " It would become a sort of mouthpiece for Yale, and perhaps be required to follow an agenda that Yale set forth," she said.

"Being separate from Yale is vital to Dwight Hall's functioning."

Cabinet member Sarah Davidson (TC '92) also cites Dwight Hall's independence as the reason for its success.

"Independence gives Dwight Hall the liberty to become a political institution if it wants, and to take a position on university Dwight Hall student coordinators Brandi Clark UE '93), Hari Osofiky (DC affairs," she said. When Dwight Hall voiced '93), and Stefan Pryor (SM '93) serve as liaisons between Yale and New Haven. concerns about the safety of volunteers who had to walk to New Haven work sites, the university denied guidance to the student-run Dwight Hall Cabinet; the financial assistance for student transponation. Dwight Hall staff, headed by Hasegawa, functions as a middle ground criticized the university's policy and drew from its own funds between students and the board. Because the board meets only twice a year, much of the authority of Dwight Hall to buy a van. passes to the students. The Dwight Hall Cabinet, which Davidson suggested that Dwight Hall's division from Yale also makes the organization less intimidating to com- usually numbers around 20 students, has met weekly every munity members, thus fostering better Yale-New Haven year since 1882. At these meetings, which take place in a relations. She claimed that "We the People," the alliance round table format with the cabinet coordinators moderatformed by Yale students and the homeless of New Haven to ing, students make most of the decisions about Dwight figh t state budget cuts, might not have attracted homeless Hall's functions, including the allocation of funds among its various organizations. support if the university had been officially involved.

Dwight Hall volunteers continually initiate new projects Another advantage to Dwight Hall's autonomy became apparent in mid-February when it provided a relocation site and programs, making student leadership an essential comfor many classes during the three-day union strike. "We ponent of the center. "Students have no boundaries," have frequently been in the middle of a variety of controver- Hasegawa said, noting that they often become intensely devoted to their projects. One day he received $1200 wonh sies that have nothing to do with us," said Hasegawa. of camping and hiking supplies for Outdoor Corps, an orga"There's a customary wisdom that Dwight Hall is neutral nization which brings together Yale students and inner-city territory during a strike." Offering a calm, buffered atmoNew Haven youth for companionship and recreation. The sphere, Dwight Hall often facilitates communication group's founder had received the Dwight Hall Humanitarian between disputants.

Services Award and funnelled the money back to her group.

Stefan Pryor (SM '93), co-coordinator of Dwight Hall Community activists from both Yale and New Haven Cabinet, described Dwight Hall's position as one of active agree that Dwight Hall offers both the lessons and the neutrality. "We can take the role of off-campus space when rewards of involvement in community service. Students can necessary, but clearly we're on campus," he said. By encourpursue projects of their choosing anq learn the practical aging communication, Pryor believes that Dwight Hall aspects of developing and maintaining a program while takes an active role in social and political issues. "In issues enjoying a sense of personal accomplishment.

"What's of service and advocacy, we're not neutral," he said. Dwight touched me the most is the interaction I had with the kids," Hall-sponsored groups like "We the People" regularly lobby said Davidson.

"When you feel you've made a difference in for legislation on the local, state, and even national levels.

Officially, the Board of Directors bears responsibility someone's life, it's an incredible feeling." for Dwight Hall, dealing with legal concerns and offering folie Taublieb is a freshperson in jonathan Edwards Colkge.

THE NEw jOURNAL APRIL 10, 1992

21

Shattered Lives Emily Baz elon

T

raditionally, American law has treated family violence as a private matter. Between eight and twelve million women in the U.S. will experience battering at some point in their lives, yet until recently police had litde authority to intervene in domestic disputes. In the late 70s, the New Haven Bartered Women's Project formed to support victims of abuse. Grassroots groups like this lobbied state legislatures ro bring legal protection into the home.

In 1986, Connecricu t became one of rhe first states to make violence a crime. And whatever its shortcomings, the

sands of arrests char take place under the new law when none did before. ''I'm very happy with the law," said Stark.

"For many men the arrest has a tremendous effect, and it empowers women."

Barbara Glenn, one of Connecticut's four victim advocates, serves as a liaison between abused women and the court system. She believes that prosecutors need to apply Connecticut's law more rigorously. After the arrest, the state usually drops charges u nless it has the victim's cooperation.

"By instituting mandatorv arrest, we took the burden off the victim," said Glenn. "But then we turn around and

..

Family Violence Prevention and Response Act has forced police ro intervene between partners. "In rhe old days you didn't know what would happen if you called the police. As likely as nor, nothing," said psychologist Evan Stark, cod irector of the Domestic Violence Training Project in New Haven. "Now there is a predictable response."

T he Family Violence 'Act instituted mandatory arrest for bacrerers. Whenever police believe that spousal assault has occured or will occur, they must arrest the abuser even if the victim asks them not co. Legislators created a family violence education program and hired victim advocates to steer battered women through che legal system. The law also provided protective and restraining orders for women who leave their partners and fear chat violence will recur.

Some experts in the field charge that mandatory arrest discourages women from calling the police. But most of Connecticut's domestic violence workers applaud the thou22

THE NEW jouRNAL

drop it back into her lap."

In the event that prosecution takes place, barterers rarely go to prison. Most convicted men go on probation or pay fines. "Although the pattern of battering is predictable, most bacrerers are nor detained in p rison, because society does not recognize them as dangerous," said Dr. Susan McLeer, vice-chair of psychiatry at the Medical College of Pennsylvania. "We simply fail to take battering seriously."

Experts also link barterers' light penalties to popular misconcepdons about domestic violence. McLeer, who testifies in court on behalf of women who have killed their partners, has found that few judges and juries understand the complex natu re o f family violence. "Many people believe that battered women ¡ move from one abusive relationship to another, or that their provocadveness causes the battering," said McLeer. "But abused women are a heterogeneous population in every way. According to the data, there APRIL 10, 1992

.is no, psychological portrait that many women neatly fit it illegal for their husbands to visit, telephone, or contact tnto. them in any way. Still, some men defy the orders. "The sysThe Family Violence Act escapes the trap of blaming tem does not make women safe," said Glenn. "If an abuser women for the violence. The law set up a state-funded famis obsessive or doesn't respect the law, a piece of paper won't ily violence education program for first-offense barterers. deter him."

Men pay $100 for six weekly sessions. If both partners The law also fails to enforce protective orders with agree, the prosecution drops charges for men who complete harsh penalties. Most men who break the orders can plea the program. Yet statistics show that the program rarely bargain their sentences to misdemeanors, the least serious changes behavior or prevents repeat offenses. "The program category of criminal offense. Without reassurance that the is the system's answer to rehabilitation, and as rehab the violence will stop, some women hestitate to take action statistics show that it has limited success," said Glenn. She against their partners, knowing that a man who believes believes that the program proves more useful for the women that his partner has gotten him inro trouble can become than for their barterers. "If a man attends the program and more dangerous. "Women are well aware that they don't beats his wife again, she can say that she gave him a chance have adequate protection, and that will affect the decisions to change, and it didn't work. With this behind them, some they make," said McLeer. women can end abusive relationships."

Experts want to make Connecticut's law tougher on Many women trapped in the cycle of abuse take a long barterers. Stark argues that men should go to jail for breaktime to leave the relationship because they believe they can ing protective orders, and that police should provide put an end to the violence. "Initially, the woman's goal is to women with protection as soon as the judge issues an order, minimize the violence and preserve the relationship," said rather than waiting until they call for help. Stark also stressMcLeer. "But those are mutually incompatible goals." es that the legal system's failure to evaluate the history of Many women call the police as a short-term solution to the violence and abuse in a relationship thwacts its own good escalation of violence rather than to see their husbands intentions. "The real difficulty with the law is that it only reacts to the episode and doesn't take into account that batarrested. "Most women want the system to fix their husbands, not to protect them," said Glenn.

Women must see chat they are powerless to stop the violence before they can extricate themselves. "In order to make the decision to leave, a woman has to realize her own lack of control," said McLeer. Many have compelling reasons to stay. Some depend on their husbands for financial support. Others fear the possible consequences of leaving, with good cause. Over 4000 women in the U.S. die annually as a result of domestic violence, and 58 percent of tering is a historical crime," said Stark. women raped over the age of 30 are attacked by abusive Because of the complex and deeply personal nature of partners. domestic violence, legal antidotes pose problems for both Studies show that when a woman contemplates leaving, she finds herself in the greatest danger. "Getting out can be victims and law enforcement officials. When women continue to love the men who beat them, police throw up their very difficult. Many men behave like Glenn Close's charachands in exasperation. "It makes the police crazy when ter in Fatal Attraction in terms of relentless and targeted women invite their husbands to come back," said Glenn. pursuit," said McLeer.

"When victims repeatedly fail to press charges or try to get Many women who decide to leave violent relationships do so because they don't want their children to become like protective orders overturned, they lose their credibility with the police and the courts. As a victim advocate, I try to their parents. Children from violent homes grow up surrounded by role models based on the dominance of one make police understand why a woman might not make the decision they think she should." , parent rather than mutual respect. "Many kids can overThe six-year-old Family Violence Act has brought supcome those kinds of gender expectations," said social workport service workers into the legal picture.

Lawmakers' er Steven Nagler, clinical director of family support services recognition that family violence is a crime that belongs in at the Yale Child Study Center. "But why should they have the public sphere has given victims and police a tool with to?" which to counter abuse.

Yet without vigilant enforcement, Once women bring themselves to leave the relationthe promise of Connecticut's law remains only half-fulfilled. ship, they can ask the court for protective orders that make

'1n order to make the decision to leave, a woman has to realize her own lack ofcontrol "

APRIL 10, 1992

THE

NÂŁw JouRNAL 23

en the New Haven Project for Battered Women formed in 1977, it created a network of homes where victims could find shelter, a hodine, and a support group staffed by volunteers.

A year later the project received funds from the Connecticut Department of Human Resources to establish a shelter for women who wanted to leave their husbands but had nowhere to go.

With the Family Violence Act of 1986, the agency gained four victim advocates to help over 5000 victims negotiate the legal system. Now called Domestic Violence Services of Greater New Haven (DVS), the agency owns a shelter that houses 15 people for up to 60 days each.

Last year DVS responded to over 850 crisis calls on its 24-hour hotline, housed over 200 women and children in the shelter and placed over 200 more in motels. It also provided awareness training for police departments throughout the New Haven 24 THE NEw JouRNAL

area, including the Yale Police. DVS also runs cornrnunity workshops to educate women about the protection that the law offers them.

As a non-profit agency, DVS runs on a shoestring budget. Aside from state fun d s for the victim advocates, the agency relies on grants from United Way and area towns as well as private donations. "We've had to fight every step of the way to get where we are now," said Margerita Ayala, who has worked at the New Haven shelter for 13 years. "Fifteen years ago there were no supp¡orc servic~his city- Now women who need help have people they can. turn to and a safe place to stay."

Counselors celebrate with the women who find the strength to leave their abusive husbands and begin a new life. "I love to see the women who come here, whose husbands have controlled everything in their lives, show some independence," said Ayala. .

Below, three local women tell their stories.

Lori married her second husband unaware ofhis criminal record, which included a rape conviction. After two years of turbulent marriage, she ended the relationship and decided to prosecute her husband for sexual assault. Now in her early 30s, she lives in a New Haven suburb with her two children and attends a support group for battered women run by Domestic Violence Services. don't know when our first argument happened but we sought counseling after two months of marriage. He'd get drunk, come back

I

late, pass out at the kitchen table, then wake up and hit me. The counseling helped, but he wasn't all that honest with himself. He'd work on things for a few weeks and then it would fall apart again. He kept hitting me and making accusations about other men.

He was even jealous of my children and my friends.

Mark put me in a state of mind where I thought, maybe if I put aside everything else and take care of what he needs it will be okay. But when I let my self-esteem go out the window, that gave him a green light.

I went through a denial stage when I tried to tell my family that everything was going well. When my father found out that Mark hit me, he got angry. He drinks, and when I was growing up he beat my mother. Now they're divorced.

Mark tried to make me look like the villain when we fought by telling the kids that I started it. The kids responded by getting sick; the sevenyear-old vomited and the four-yearold cried uncontrollably. H e'd get mad and scream at them "It's all your¡ mother's fault," and curse at me. I don't know how I could have subjected my kids to it for so long. The other day my older son said: "I could never understand why you married him, mommy. Why did you let all those hurtful things happen?" Even the little one tells me to get away from that bad man and find a nice person. To hear that from children-why couldn't I see it when I'm a grown person?

Every.promise he m ade to me .he broke. He was in and out of work. I was the number six wife. You don't know how I felt when I found out. At times my husband would leave-we'd fight, he'd pack his junk, go. T hen he'd call and say "I'll straighten out, do good, pray, study the Bible, go to counseling.

I'll do it all for you." I kept telling him that he had to do it for himselÂŁ Then a year ago January I called the cops to arrest Mark, and they APRIL IO, 1992

showed me his computerized record, as long as your arm. I found out that Mark was what they call a career criminal-rapes, assaults, drugs, anything that you can do against the law. He had done six years in the state prison for _rape. I decid ed to divorce him.

When I told him he came home and beat the living crap out of me. He threw me around my house, punched me like I was a ragdoll.

Afterwards Mark begged me to forgive him. I put the divorce on hold because I wanted to give him one more chance to prove to himself that he could be a better person. You hear stories about people who have had a rough life and turn themselves around.

Finally I couldn't take it any more and started to divorce him again. I knew that the relationship was a dead end. I put my children right up in front of me. I couldn't put them through that kind of life. Many times they saw me getting beaten, the blood.

I don't want them to think it's okay to hit people.

In June, when my divorce was in progress Mark and I went on a date and decided to get back together.

Between last summer and November he beat me up five or six times. I covered up the bruises with make up, but who was I trying to fool? In November, I told him: "You don't want to change," and he packed up and left.

He's gotten arrested a bunch of times for breaking the restraining orders. Once he punched a hole in my front door trying to get in. Now I have two protective orders and a restraining order but he's persistent: phone calls, letters, sending people to talk to me.

Last New Year's Eve, after we had been divorced for two months, the children and I agreed to let Mark take us out to dinner. While we ate he kept telling them that he was moving back in. He came home with us, and after the kids went to bed I told him that he couldn't stay, which triggered an exploAPRIL tO, 1992

sion. He said: "I'm not leaving, I'll kill you before this is over." H e accused me of seeing other men and spit at me. H e banged my head against the wall and strangled me and hit me over and over again. I kept screaming " I didn't do anything! Get out!" but he wouldn't let me near the phone.

It was late and I was so afraid. He forced me to give him oral sex, said if I didn't he'd kill me. I was crying so hard. So many times I said please respect my wishes, but he forced me to have sex. He called me so many awful names.

He stayed for two days. I didn't know what to do. I was beside myself on New Year's Day, afraid to provoke him, afraid to get help. So I went along with him. I thought maybe he'd mellow out and go.

I was sorer than sore, a wreck. I was afraid to pick up the phone, afraid of what he'd do to my kids. The next morning he pushed m e into the kitchen , slammed me against the fridge , beat me again. My kids were getting ready for school and they witnessed all of it. After they left he stayed for hours. I was so afraid he'd kill me.

That night the kids and I went to the police department, and the cop was so cold. He didn't even rake me into a private room to hear my story.

He asked me why I had waited to report what Mark had done, and then he told me that I didn't have a leg to stand on in court. I was crying, the kids were too. We walked out and I felt stripped, devastated. Why didn't they hdp roe? I was afraid to go home.

A week later I went back and the police captain tried to cover up for that cop. He took a report, and now Mark is facing a sexual assault charge.

He could get 20 years, but he's out on bail. Three weeks ago he started to contact me, and I reported it.

Last month I called Domestic Violence Services. They offered babysitting, so I came to the support group. I walked in and saw wall-to-

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wall women. I kept thinking I'm not the only one , I'm not alone. The group helped and reassured me almost immediately.

How many women never say anything because they're scared to death?

You wonder why they don't turn around? Because they're afraid they'll get killed. If I had stayed longer in that relationship I could have been dead.

Now I have to learn what I want out of my life, what I need, to understand what a healthy relationship is.

I'm not ready for other men. I have too much fear.

Dani~lk lift h~r husband after fiv~ months of marriag~ buauu sh~ found his violmt b~havior unacuptab/~. th~ 32-y~ar old woman and h~r child hav~ kft th~ N~ Havm Sh~lt~r to start over.

M

y second husband was always a little crazy, but as long as he didn't bother me it was fine. Before we were married I knew that he fought with other men when he was angry. He takes medication because he can't control his anger, and he's a recovering alcoholic. A counselor told me drinking doesn't make a difference in terms of violent behavior, but I don't believe that.

The relationship was stupid. We met in May, got married in September, and I left in January. I got sick and tired of him, his drinking, the violence.

He would get angry at things I said and choke me. I always fought back.

I never called the cops-1 wouldn't cause trouble for him like that. Also, my husband always sna~...ned the phone out of the wall or hid the receiver when we fought.

The first night I felt unsafe, I called the shelter and left. I can't live with a person I'm scared of, and I couldn't take the verbal abuse towards me and my son. I couldn't have my son grow up like that. My father always put me down and it was hell.

I left because I know what's right and wrong and I didn't have time for that non sense. A lot of women are afraid to be alone because they have low self-esteem. I don't need a man co feel whole because I don't feel un- . whole. Next September, I want co go back to school.

Maria sought sh~lter for hm~lfand childrm after sh~ tkcid~d to md a nin~ y~ar rdationship with her boyfrimd, a drug addict who abus~d h~r mmtally and thr~atened her lifo. In h~r ~arly 30s, she has lived at th~ N~w Haven Sh~lur for Batur~d WIJmen for ov~r a month. h~r fiv~

'm like the black sheep of my family because I wenr to jail for delivering drugs. My family was always putting me down. I stay away from my mother. She loved my first husband.

He aCted totally different when we went to visit h er. When I cold my mother chat I left him because he beat me she called me a liar. They cell you to puc the past behind but somehow it always sneaks up.

My first husband was a physical abuser. He acted like my father, sat at the table with me with a belt to make sure I'd eat. If you cell a man, "you're not my father, don't tell me what to do," he'll hit you twice as hard. You can't fight back against a man bigger than you-you'll just get hurt.

I was 17 when I got married, and four years later I left, running for my life. My husband beat me until I passed out if I left the house without him or got a phone call he didn't like. I thought I was doing something wrong.

When we were still on our honeymoon I cooked him breakfast. He asked for his eggs sunnyside up, and I broke the yolk, so he punched me in the face. That first time I figured okay, so I did the eggs wrong, and he's iace for work. H e was a real sweet man before we were married, and the violence came like a shock.

I

APRIL 10,

1992.

I was young and I knew nothing, not about birch control, or nothing. I got pregnant real quick and I delivered at 6 months because my husband kicked me in the stomach. My first son, he died because the kick crushed his skull. My husband had

the nerve to blame me.

I had no friends. He didn't want anyone in the house and he wouldn't let me use the phone. I was so scared I wouldn't go outside, even when he was at work. I had a collection of sunglasses to hide the black eyes.

Sometimes the neighbors would call the cops and they'd come and see me with a busted lip or bruises and they wouldn't arrest him because they didn't see what happened. They'd say, go cool off, wait 'til she cools off. chen come back. Once after they left he hir me with a machete.

But what goes around comes around, cause now he's seven feet under the ground. He got AIDS and

when he was in the hospital they came looking for me because I was still his legal wife. They wanted me to sign the papers to turn off the life-support machines. His life was in my hands. I know it's wrong, bur with all the abuse, I thought now I had my chance to get back at him. And you know what? I didn't have rhe heart. I told them co wait until his heart stopped beating.

My boyfriend, John, didn't hit, but he used language that made me feel so bad that I would rather get hit and get it over with.

For the first five years he was fine. We did everything together and we never fought. Then the drugs started, and char was it. He got into cocaine and drinking. It got so bad that everything started to disappear from my house. I'd send him with $450 to pay the rent and the owner would get maybe $300 of it. I left him a few times, but he'd come with a story that he would change, get a job, srop the coke. I' m real softhearted, and whl!n I heard his sad story about how much he missed the kids, how he wanted another chance, I'd come back. For a couple of weeks or months it would be different, but never for long.

One day, I decided, this is it. The kids had started to hare me. I thought, I pur my kids first or I go through hell for rhe rest of my life. I stayed for so long because I was afraid ro be by myself. But I realized, this is a waste.

I'm doing it by myself now, why can't I do it alone out there? I realized: I'm a smarr person, I don't need him thinking for me. My kids helped me with the decision. We did ir together. I&!J Emily Baulon, a junior in Piason Colkg~. is managing ~diror ojTNJ.

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Tipping the Scales Nina Morrison

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L

ast year, while I was home on break, my best friend on scraps of paper between classes, and telling myself that told me about a recent conversation she'd had with my basketball game would reach All-Star proportions if her older brother. Why, he had asked her, did so only f·could get my weight down from 112 to 104 pounds.

I eased up a bit in my junior and senior years, what with all many women gain weight in college?

She couldn't come up with an answer, so the two of us the beer and late-night ice cream feasts my friends and I mulled it over. Although her brother is not known for stun- enjoyed. But I never stopped noticing the upward-creeping ning insight into the lives of women, we had to admit he needle on the scale. had called this one right, at least where the women we knew Finally, in the spring of my senior year, I convinced my from high school were concerned. Some of us hadn't gain~e... d__m _ o_m_ to enroll me in Diet Center, where I lost 23 pounds an ounce since our senior class photos, and gained a chorus of"congrats, you and a few were battling eating disorders. look fantastic" from just abou t everyone I knew. I was such a successful But most of us, neither obsessive dieters custo~c;r~and proclaimed the "Inor ready for queen-sized pantyhose, had certainly put on a few pounds, some over look-great-but-mosdy-1-feel-great" and above the old frosh fifteen. party line with such gusto--that they Somehow, though, my friend and I hired me to be a Diet Counselor (yes, femin ist comrades, you're reading couldn't r::concile this picture of sudden weight gain with the favorable perception this right), where I got paid to chastise women twice my age for eating we had of our college experiences. The women we knew-despite the usual ups a n extra blueberry muffin or and d owns, and a few bouts with end-ofindulging in a glass of wine. the-world despair- had, for the most W h en I came to college, I took part, grown stronger and more confident my scale with me, but after the first few mon ths the old diet rules lost in these years. And yet here we were, with these sudden, not-exactly voluntary some of their power. I joined in midchanges in our bodies- right at the time night pizza runs, realized that ifl was going to drink beer I might ·as well we supposedly felt most in control, most sure of ourselves ... most, well, happy. So drink Kalhua, and got too busy with work and play to go to the gym as we groped around for an answer to her brother's query, expecting to find some often as I'd planned. The ideological shift ~arne later. By sophomore year, yet-unseen "dark side" to account for the extra pounds. T he weight gain wasn't I had .discovered love-your-body something peculiar to women in the Ivy II J I ·"~,·~books like Kim Chernin's The League; we'd seen it in friends at colleges across the counObsession: Reflections on the yYranny ofSlenderness. C hernin try. Maybe, we mused, all these " happy" women were linked the rise of eating disorders and the cult of thinness to wracked by the pressures of academia, deep-rooted insecuri- a backlash against the women's movement-a backlash that ties, or crippling identity crises. And we wondered: What is urged women to be smaller than ever before, just as our wrong with us? horizons had begun to grow. Strangely, this was the first For m e, the issue held even deeper resonance. I spent time that I saw how much my small-scale obsession undermy high school years on a yo-yo dieting regime that ruled mined the feminist principles I cared about most. I threw my life. Though I never approached the danger zone that out the scale, declared ''I'll never diet again," and vowed to· some of my peers did-two dose friends were hospitalized accept my new (liberated) physique.

In truth, though, my personal revolution never fully for bulimia-! spent ninth and tenth grades cutting my food into baby-sized pieces, computing daily calorie totals displaced the old, oppressive regime. I haven't dieted for

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28 THE NEw Jou RNAL

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APRJL 10, 1992

years, and bo.;,ks like Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth have helped me to the point where I can truly say that I like what I look like, "extra" college weight and all. Yet in the recesses of my mind, I haven't yet surrendered the idea that someday, when I'm not caught up in a political campaign or searching for a job, I may get that 112-pound-body back. And when my friend's brother asked his question, I felt a sting of selfreproach. Thinking about weight gain was one thing: it's hard to break free of life-long taboos overnight. But m ostly, I was worried about how I must have gotten that way. Sure, I felt strong and independent for most of m y college years, but look at how my body had changed: I must be burying my sorrows in food, or a closet Type-A stress case. I must have let my life become chaos, or have just been careless.

The unspoken What is wrong with us? became an even more nagging refrain: What is wrong with me?

I

t is only recently that I have begun to see that these images- of women gaining confidence and independence on the one hand, and 15 pounds on the othermay not be as irreconcilable as I once thought. Not all the women I know who gained weight in college embraced the fat-is-beautiful idea. But many of us did get wrapped up in

our work, in relationships (both good and bad), in pondering the Big Questions of life. And, quite frankly, a lot of us had other things to do besides worry about what we ate every minute. That may be the most liberating change of all.

True, many of us could be careless in what we ace-but we also learned to care less about the number on the scale in

I threw out the scale) declared c111 never diet again) "and vowed to accept my new, liberated physique. a given week, and care more about New Haven politics or a new photography class. We may not have wished for a bigger body, but as our workloads and extra-curricular commitments increased, so did the amount of food we needed to eat to keep going. We expanded our brains, gained experience and wisdom, and learned, even in the pressure-cooker we call Yale, to let ourselves go when we needed a break.

All of these changes show on our bodies, but this reflection of our choices and experiences is far from a dismal pic-

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APRJL IO, 1992

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ture. I'm thinking of moments when we women have let food, even in excess, be a parr of our good times: sharing rich entrees at a housewarming party; hosting cake-and-champagne celebrations when a friend gets a job offer {yes, seniors, there have been a few of those); or the annual gathering at the Women's Center after the Speak Out and Take Back the Night March, when we devour two vats of ice cream because we need the comfort and nourishment after a draining day.

Better yet, there have been moments when the "to eat or not to eat" dilemma has been almost irrelevant: when we're writi ng a paper that just refuses to end , so we keep ourselves awake on coffee and Reese's pieces, or when we are so busy with a project that we grab whatever is on the shelf at Wawa's for dinner, calories and day-after nausea be damned. And then, too, there are those less-thanwonderful moments when we have let food be a much-needed panacea-like when friends console us with an entire box of Oreos (and Kleenex) after we've been dumped. o these images make you uncomfortable?

Writing them, I felt a bit of a twinge myself- women eating junk food, or high-calorie meals of any kind, is hardly the image we are taught to associate with maturity and personal growth. Obviously, there is nothing "healthy" about unhealthy food , and a pack of Reese's is no long-term solution for stress. Yet much as I hate Gordon Gekko and his Wall Street ethos, perhaps the "greed is good" credo does have some meaning for women's lives. Women, more than men, are taught to feel gu ilty about indulgence, and the evidence of our "sins" where food is concerned gets frowned upon even more. That so many of us have been able to toss aside these mandates- to eat what we feel like eating, because, even if j ust for a

D

momen t, other things in o ur lives are more important- is a hopeful sign.

I am not suggesting that all women have plunged, full of self-confidence, into the waters of "food freedom. " Recent estimates place the number of women on college campuses with eating disorders at between 20 and 50 percent. Even among those of us without full-blown eating disorders,

it would be hard to find a single one who does not have her own doubts, anxieties, and share of self-loathing about her body. And certainly, not all of us have had blissful college careers.

The campus abounds with women who take out anger, pain, and stress on their own bodies, and for whom eating is a prisonhouse rather than a sign of liberation. No doubt, so me of the women who have gained or lost weight in college ar~ deeply troubled, and their changing exteriors do signify inner torment.

But this isn't the case for all of us.

When we "take care of ourselves" it may mean we spend a day in the sun, or buy a new dress, or go for a long, sweaty run. Yet at other times it may A.PRJL 10, 1992

mean that we skip the run because we're too wrapped up in a book or arguing with a friend, or we're just too tired to haul our bum off the couch today. Or we may decide that, even though it's not a long-term cure for our woes, it reaJly would make us feel better to drown our sorrows in ice cream for a nigltt or two. remember the night last May when my mother suggested I ask my internist to check out my metabolism. "After all," she said, "you've gained a lot of weight since you started school, but you don't eat an enormous amount." I lashed back at her with the usual get-off-myback, when-I-wanc-your-advice-1'11ask-fo r-it rhetoric, and threw in some femin ist love-your-body theory for good measure. Her words stung, though. Only now do I see that she was right-not in her negative judgment about my looks, but in saying that I really don't eat "an enormous amount" at school. I eat pretty muc h what I want: more during exams, less when I'm stressed out abou t a project or personal crisis. I a lso go to the gym three times a week, and would rather have a vegetarian entree than fried foods any day. But the truth is that, while I'm hardly obese, I have been too wrapped up in the rest of my life to d eal with the "project" of d isciplining my body, even if I'd wanted to. A wonderful concept, when you think about it.

A lot of women I know have gained weight in college. But we've also gained a lot more-in selfrespect, independence, first loves, broken hearts, political beliefs, debating slcills, confidence, and experience. Isn't that something to celebrate?

1&11

I

Nina Morrison is a smior in Saybrook Co/kg~.

Ai>RJL 10, 1992.

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