Laugh a Little... Why do so many Norwegians choose to buy properties with access to Why did the can crusher quit his job? running water? It was soda pressing. Because those are the properties that are affjordable! I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomer-
Did you hear about the bike race that goes all the way across Norway ang, but it did come back to me. and Sweden? A book just fell on my head. It ends at the Finnish line. I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
What do you call a Norwegian party? A Fjord Fiesta!
Where did Noah keep the bees? In the Ark hives
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? So when they come back to port they can scan-da-navy-in.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked in to testify? Odor in the court!
Last week I x-rayed a bird in Norway. Yep. Scanned an avian.
Past, present and future all walk into a room. It was tense.
A visitor to Minnesota asked a resident why everyone's car was named What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? Harvey?? A synonym roll. Why do you say that, asked the resident? Well you get in their car, they put it in gear, and they say "har ve go". What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Emergency Telephone Numbers —these are more effective than 911
What to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearible. What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
Just as we may have a list of telephone numbers to call in an emergency it is useful to have a list of Bible passages which are particularly appropriate for challenging situations. When in sorrow: call John 14. When people let you down: call Psalm 27. When longing to be spiritually fruitful: call John 15. When you have sinned: call Psalm 51. When you worry: call Matthew 6:19–34. When you are in danger: call Psalm 91. When God seems far away: call Psalm 139. When your faith needs stirring: call Hebrews 11. When you are lonely and fearful: call Psalm 23. When you grow bitter and critical: call 1 Cor. 13. For Paul’s secret to happiness: call Col. 3:12–17. For understanding of Christianity: call 2 Cor. 5:15–19. When you feel down and out: call Romans 8:31. When you want rest: call Matthew 11:25–30. When seeking God’s assurance: call Romans 8:1–30.
When you are depressed: call Psalm 27. When men fail you, call Psalm 27 When away from home: call Psalm 121. When you need courage: call Joshua 1. When you have sinned, call Psalm 51 When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67
For a great invention/opportunity, call Isaiah 55 How to get along with fellowmen, call Romans 12 When you think of investments/returns, call Mark 10 If you are depressed, call Psalm 37 If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37 If you are losing confidence in people, call 1 Cor. 13 If people seem unkind, call John 15 If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126 If you find the world growing small, and yourself great, call Psalm 19
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