OLIVE PRESS MALLORCA ISSUE 159

Time

... TO UNSPOILT SPAIN

Roman ruins, stunning beaches and the world’s best tuna. See our Costa de la Luz special on p12-14

THE Balearics Islands have been flagged up as a key black spot for the ‘chronic cancer’ of environmental destruction.

Ecologistas en Accion has slammed the islands for the alarming ‘noise’ and ‘sea pollution’ they face as a consequence of mass tourism.

The criticism has come as part of the green group’s annual ‘Black Flags’ report, which selects the 48 worst environ-

mental issues affecting Spain’s coastline.

The flags of shame are handed out to polluted and badly managed beaches and coastal areas across the country. However, in the Balearics, rather than target beaches, the ecologists have flagged up two major problems that are having an environmental impact on the archipelago as a whole.

One is the ‘uncontrolled’ proliferation of jet skis, which causes noise pollution and a risk to marine wildlife.

An Ecologistas spokesman Cristobal Lopez told the Olive Press: “There are companies that organise jet ski group

By Alberto Lejarraga

trips to protected nature areas and this negatively affects vulnerable species such as sea turtles.

“These also cause huge noise pollution and a risk for swimmers, as several serious accidents have already occurred.”

The region received a second black flag for the rowdy boat parties that take place at night around the island, especially in Ses Salines.

“Locals have now complained for some time about the noise pollution

Balearics slammed for the continuous destruction and pollution of its coasts

BLACK MARKS HAND S OFF OUR COSTAS

caused by these boat night parties, which sometimes go on until the sunrise. These kinds of celebrations not only create several environmental issues but also a number of health problems,” the group explained.

Lopez, coordinator of the ‘Black Flags

report’ added that the Spanish coast has ‘several serious problems’ that are mainly caused by mass tourism.

“Beach destinations double their population during the holiday season and consequently, what were once unspoilt natural areas become nothing more than a lineup of hotels and holiday homes. He insisted: “This overpopulation leads to the destruction of the coast as the collapse of water

sanitation gets worse and sewage flows directly into the sea.”

The green charity also ruled that the problem is far worse than people believe and the country is now at a ‘very grave risk’.

“Politicians need to take urgent measures because they are ruining the country for future generations,” continued Lopez.

“Spain has a chronic cancer as its natural areas are so devastated and polluted that, even with technological advances and investment, it will take many years until they are fully restored,” Lopez concluded.

“We only choose 48 black spots to not overwhelm the press and population but there are literally hundreds of natural spaces that are being destroyed. We need urgent measures to tackle this.”

Opinion Page 6

FLAGS OF SHAME: Map lists worst beaches and how the OP has reported the Cala Mosca scandal

Photos by Jon Clarke

NEWS IN BRIEF

Dodgy butcher

POLICE have rescued hundreds of sheep from an unlicenced clandestine slaughterhouse in Palma.

Take care

A TOTAL of five hikers and two swimmers have been rescued by Guardia Civil helicopter in Mallorca in just a week.

Knock knock

A BURGLAR accused of committing at least 10 house robberies in Pollenca, Alcudia, Sa Pobla and Calvia has been arrested in Mallorca.

Bad resume

A FORMER restaurant worker has been arrested for allegedly forcing the entrance door of his previous workplace to steal €22,000 from a vault in Pollenca.

A GANG which specialised in mugging tourists for their luxury watches has been busted.

Police have arrested three men who would fly to Ibiza from Barcelona regularly to commit the crimes.

They are accused of five muggings in Sant Antoni de Portmany and Sant Josep de Sa Talaia.

“A man would come close to the victim and pull the watch from their wrist before fleeing the scene. They

Brit arrested after fatal ‘hit and run’ kills well known cyclist

A BRITISH driver has been arrested after a prominent Ibizan racing cyclist was killed in an alleged hit and run accident.

Bernat Ribas died when he was involved in a collision with a Jeep Wrangler at 8pm on Tuesday on the Cami de Benimussa in the Sant Josep municipality of Ibiza. Police were told that the Jeep had a British number plate and had not stayed at the scene, with officers launching a manhunt to track the driver down.

did this very quickly and efficiently” a Guardia Civil spokesman told the Olive Press

A patrol spotted the gang during one of their trips to the island, arresting them at the airport just before they boarded to head home. Agents seized four Rolexes that had been stolen a few days earlier, each one worth up to €30,000, according to the Guardia Civil.

OUT OF TIME BIKE TRAGEDY

By Alex Trelinski

The 35-year-old alleged driver with the initials SD was finally arrested in Sant Antoni on Wednesday evening.

“He invaded the oncoming line and crashed into the cyclist, after which he fled the scene,” a Guardia Civil spokesman told the Olive Press.

He added: “We spent the whole day looking for him around the island and only when he had no way to es-

cape, he handed himself in.” He’s been charged with reckless homicide, leaving the scene of an accident, and not having a driving licence.

Ronaldinho robber

POLICE in Alcudia have published a photo to try to find a young robber in the busy nightclub area of the town. The thief used the ‘Ronaldinho technique’- named after the famous footballer- to steal from a minor in the street. The robber inserts his leg between those of the victim and makes the football-style movement to unbalance his victim and rob him.

The victim’s parents gave the Alcudia Policia Local permission to publish the image.

SUPER SOLLER

Fancy something different ? Head to the historic picturesque north west gem of Mallorca, writes Danielle Andrews

Sóller is a charming town nestled in the picturesque valley of the Tramuntana Mountains in Mallorca, Spain.

With a rich history that dates back centuries, Sóller has managed to preserve its historical culture.

The origins of Sóller can be traced back to the Moorish era when the region was under Arab rule. The town flourished during the Middle Ages, and its prosperity can still be seen in the magnificent architecture that dots the streets. The imposing Sant Bartomeu Church, with its Gothic and Baroque elements, stands as a testament to Sóller’s past.

One of the most notable features of Sóller’s history is its historic train, the Ferrocarril de Sóller. Constructed in the early 20th century, this vintage railway connects Sóller with the capital city of Pal-

ma, passing through breathtaking landscapes and quaint villages along the way. The train has become an iconic symbol of Sóller and is a beloved attraction for both residents and visitors.

The town’s architecture showcases a mix of styles, including Art Nouveau and Modernist influences. Walking through the streets of Sóller feels like stepping back in time, with beautiful buildings adorned with intricate details and colorful facades.

There are still incredible opportunities to invest in this historical town such as this impressive, historical manor house right in the centre of town. Steps away from the busy square and church. This 20th century manor house was once owned by the large agricultural landowners of the Sierra de Tramuntana. The Can

Prohom was built around 1758. Curiously, in 1860, Queen Isabella II stayed in this majestic manor house accompanied by the future

King Alfons XII. The city palace in the heart of Soller, is a stunning architectural gem that is ripe for restoration and renovation. Nestled in the heart of the town, it offers breathtaking views of the majestic mountains that surround the area.

The palace boasts a wealth of original features, including high ceilings, intricate woodwork, and ornate stonework, all of which lend it an air of grandeur and sophistication. surrounded by lush

Bernat Ribas, 49, was riding with another cyclist when the Brit’s vehicle ploughed into him, claim police. Paramedics were unable to save his life.

Ribas lived

in Sant Agusti and had many friends in the world of sport in Ibiza. He was a member of the Master Team club at Sant Antoni. “Bernat was like a son to me. He was going through a great time in his life, winning races and really enjoying the sport,” Luis Miguel Marty, President of the Master Team club said. Marty insisted: “I used to cycle with the kids on the roads but not anymore. There is increasingly reckless driving in Ibiza and every time we go training, we don’t know if we will come back.”

gardens and courtyards, providing ample space for outdoor entertaining and activities. With the addition of a pool, the palace could become a true oasis in the heart of the city. Whether strolling through its ancient streets, savoring local delicacies at traditional cafés, or simply enjoying the surrounding nature hiking rails and nearby coastline, living in Sóller provides a unique and enriching experience. The town’s historical culture, cou-

For more information on this and many more properties in The Agency’s portfolio, please visit www.theagencyre.com or telephone on +34 871 610 678

POLICE in Palma caught a thief who led them on a dangerous road chase through the Son Malferit district.

A police patrol spotted the 41-year-old Polish national in a vehicle that matched one used in a variety of robberies.

As soon as the man saw the police, he changed direction to start a ‘movie-style’ chase through the streets with his speeding car narrowly missing pedestrians and other motorists. He abandoned the car in the middle of the street and ran into an underground car park where a witness bravely got hold of him and waited for the pursuing police to arrive. His vehicle had been stolen and had false number plates on it.

Hot pursuit Scammer jailed

A COMPUTER company worker in Palma has been jailed for four years and nine months after stealing €92,306 from her employee in just two months.

The 32-year-old Spanish woman simply transferred the cash from the company’s bank into her private account using the company mobile phone to receive transfer codes.

She started her thefts within a week of starting work in the accounts department of the unnamed company.

pled with its stunning surroundings, creates an unparalleled sense of belonging and appreciation for the past.

Sóller truly embodies the perfect blend of history, beauty, and an authentic Mediterranean lifestyle.

VICTIM: Cyclist Bernat Ribas

Getting LIVely

SERGIO Garcia will be at the forefront of a host of golfing stars at Valderrama this weekend.

The Spanish superstar will tee up for a shot at the LIV Golf Valderrama title as the controversial Saudi-financed tournament visits Sotogrande.

The LIV tour threatened to split the pro-

fessional golfing world apart, with several players banned from the established PGA and DP World (formerly European) tours after throwing their hat in with LIV. But peace has broken out with an agreement between the three organisations to work together. Other big names expected for the June 30 to July 2 tournament include Phil Mickleson, Brooks Koepka, Cameron Smith and Dustin Johnson.

SEEING RED

IT may be fun but it seems to be such a waste - 130,000 litres of wine will be literally poured away.

A crowd of 5,000 people will douse each other with tinto in Haro, a small town in the Rioja region.

The Haro Wine Festivalwhich is slated for June 29 - dumps as much Rioja as it consumes.

130,000 litres of wine ready to glug down the drain in Haro’s wine fight

By Isabel Max

Locals and tourists will continue a centuries old tradition to honour Saint Peter and

Paul's day, armed with cups, bottles, jugs, boots and water guns as they take part in the Battle of the Wines. Reputedly, the annual

wine fight began in a 13th century dispute over town lines between Haro and the neighbouring village of Miranda del Ebro. This ultimate fiesta is messy and it is a must-do. As tradition goes, the wine warriors will trickle in at 7am dressed in red and white.

The Haro mayor will lead a procession on horseback, wending its way seven kilometres into the cliffs of Bilibio to the Her-

Swift swoops on Madrid

MADRID has been selected as the location of Taylor Swift’s one and only concert in Spain, where she will perform at the news Santiago Bernabeu for the first time.

The American singer-songwriter will perform at the stadium - home to Real Madrid - on May 30, 2024 as part of her European Eras our.

This is the first major concert announced for the new Madrid stadium.

It has been remodelled as a multipurpose ground in order to host basketball, tennis and NFL games, as well as concerts and, of course, football.

mitage of San Felices. After a flag ceremony and a short mass at the historic chapel, the fighting commences. When the wine warriors are stained purple and soaked with the last of the drink, they descend into town, where they don’t have to be asked twice to begin dancing and slurring songs. A bullfight takes place in the afternoon, then more partying. A children’s version of the Batalla del Vino takes place on June 27, with grape juice.

TWO-time Oscar winner Jenni fer Lawrence graced the red carpet at the Madrid premiere of her new summer comedy No Hard Feelings. The movie, directed by Gene Stupnitsky, is reportedly based on a true story. Lawrence plays a woman who thinks she's found the answer to her financial troubles after reading an ad vert on Craigslist written by the par ents of an introverted 19 year old who are seek ing a girlfriend for their son.

Hungry

for attention

NEW ARRIVAL

BENIDORM'S Mundomar wildlife park has a new resident- a baby flamingo born on June 8.

Its the second flamingo birth at the park since it opened in 1996 with the first making its appearance in 2021. The egg was spotted on May 11 which the parents then looked after carefully.

Mundomar said that the mother and father at no point neglected the incubation of the egg or caring for their new child when it arrived- with staff on hand to make sure everything went well.

Pink colours are associated with flamingos but that's far from the case in their early stage of life, as the colour is obtained over time from the food they eat which contain crustacean residues.

Tragic end HOPES SOAR

A SUCCESSFUL test flight of a seaplane owned by Isla Air Express has given the company hope that it is one step closer to launching a service of direct inter-island flights.

The 9H Palma Twin Otter seaplane carried out tests on the Berre Lagoon in France, close to Marseille airport.

The Twin Otter has a capacity for 15 passengers and two crew, and operates in the United States, Canada, and the Maldives.

Isa Air Express wants permission to fly the seaplane between Mallorca and Ibiza as well as a route between Barcelona and Mallorca.

In May, Madrid company NextNorth also unveiled plans for an air taxi service linking the Balearic Islands stating that journeys between Mallorca and Ibiza would take just four minutes.

Lager Lütz

Mallorca residents complain German tourists are now as boozy and badly-behaved as the Brits

By Walter Finch

EXASPERATED Mallorca residents are complaining that the ‘Brits abroad’ mentality has spread to Germans and other nationalities when they holiday on the island.

Locals residing in the picturesque resort of Arenal had long singled out Brits as the ‘worst’ culprits for misbehaviour. But now they have noticed

Germans, Dutch, and even fellow Spaniards getting up to similar loutish escapades.

Alain Carbonell, vice-president of the Arenal residents association explained: “The Germans that used to come here

had a specific way of behaving - they would always eat well, not mix their drinks, and drug use was limited.

“Now Palma Beach has been ‘Magalufised’. The Germans

FATAL MISTAKE

POLICE have charged the skipper of a boat with reckless homicide after he fatally ran over a woman while she was swimming at Cala Salada in Arta.

The 33-year-old Indian victim was on holiday with two friends and decided to spend the day sailing on a hired boat. They moored to take a dip, but when they decided to sail on the skipper reversed the craft without making sure that there was no one in the water.

The craft struck the woman causing serious injuries that resulted in her death.

Police say the skipper did not have a licence or professional qualifications to take paying passengers.

how

now do exactly what the Brits do.

“They throw themselves from balconies, they keep mixing their drinks all day, and use drugs.

“As a result, they fall asleep in people’s gardens, and they are being robbed.

“There are people vomiting all over the place while others use rubbish bins as toilets.

“After partying they go through people’s houses, trying to find their hotels, they shout, they sing, they destroy traffic signs.

“They are like crazy, it’s insufferable.

“We all live off tourism but we don’t want this kind of tourism.”

Situated between Palma and

Llucmajor, Arenal has found itself increasingly popular as an alternative to Magaluf.

Accordingly, it also suffers from binge drinking, public disturbances, public nudity, and even partygoers doing number-twos in front gardens.

From March to September, the seaside resort transforms into a non-stop party destination.

Locals have to witness the mayhem day and night, including tourists on wild 48hour benders, often opting to sleep on the streets or beach rather than securing accommodation.

Residents are now calling for action from authorities to clamp down on the influx of 24-hour tourists and raise the standards of tourism in Arenal.

A 37-YEAR-OLD British tourist died from a heart attack in his Arenal d’en Castell hotel bedroom in Menorca on Wednesday morning. The man started to have breathing difficulties during the early morning and his girlfriend contacted emergency services. Paramedics and a doctor arrived at the hotel and unsuccessfully started resuscitation procedures. No further information has been released.

Blind eye

The Playa de Palma Federation of Hoteliers has criticised Palma City Hall for turning a blind eye to the holiday chaos which warrants improved security and cleanliness at the establishments.

The Hoteliers president, José Antonio Fernández, says the proper services ‘are non-existent despite the reinforcements that have been announced.’ Palma’s 115 establishments are vulnerable to the increasingly unruly crowd of German tourists, some of whom have made headlines this season with their drunken acts, ranging from theft to assault.

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BAD EXAMPLES: The Europeans are learning from the Brits

to be lager louts

Smoke alarm

MALLORCA has been placed on extreme forest fire alert just as smoke drifting from Canada’s uncontrollable blazes reaches the island.

The fumes travelling nearly 6,000 kilometres serve as a warning of the dangers forest fires pose to the Balearics. The smoke from the Canadian wildfires in Quebec and Ontario , which blanketed several major cities this month, including New York City and Toronto, causing eerie red skies, has crossed the North Atlantic. Although little more than a haze, the smoke could worsen the threat of fires in Mallorca by blocking the surface heat necessary to form thunderstorms, but it is not

likely to significantly impact air quality. The Balearic Environment Ministry declared the risk of forest fire this year a ‘climatic emergency.’ It has put 350 firefighters on standby and commissioned helicopters and planes to be able to quickly deploy between the islands if necessary. Last year, a record 307,000 hectares of land were destroyed in 493 fires in Spain, according to the Commission’s European Forest Fire Information System.

BLUES BROTHER

INTERVIEW: Meet the new Blues-Brother-loving, Catalantalking, British mayor of a town in the heart of Mallorca

THE results of local elections in a small village in the Balearics surprised more than a few people - not least the winner himself.

For once the dust had settled and the customary negotiations between the political parties had been concluded, the Mallorcan town of San Joan found itself with a strapping, six-foot one-inch Brit as mayor. “I’ve lived here for nine years - and somehow I am now the mayor,” Richard Thompson, 52, tells the Olive Press with endearing self-deprecation. Standing in municipal elections with the Mes per Mallorca party in a small village in the heart of the island, Thompson knew that - with the team he had assembledhe had a chance.

Not just to win, but to become the first British mayor in Balearic history - and the third ever in Spain, after Mark Lewis in the Costa Blanca in 2008 and Carmen McPhee in a Leon village in 2013.

But would the 2,000 residents of San Joan, more ru-

By Walter Finch

ral and isolated than other towns, vote for a foreigner born near Brighton in the south of England?

“It’s a real tribute to the villagers that it wasn’t an issue in the end,” Thompson said.

“They felt we had the best team and we were going to do the best for the village.

“I’m sure the fact that I’m a foreigner crossed their minds. They’re like, ‘well, we’ve got a guy who wasn’t born here, he’s not got Spanish nationality, his Catalan is only improving...

“But, you know what? We’re gonna vote for this guy to be mayor.’”

It helped that Thompson was already a recognised face in the village.

Married to a local, he arrived nine years ago and opened a language school through whose doors all the great and good of San Joan must have passed through at some point.

“I’ve taught between three

Balcony fall

A YOUNG Brit on holiday in Ibiza has died after tragically falling from the third floor of his San Antonio hotel room.

Police said they were investigating ‘all lines of inquiry’ after sources said he had been in his room with a friend of unknown nationality.

Paramedics tried to resuscitate John McKenna, 22, just after 11am on Friday but he was pronounced dead at the scene. An electrician from Carlisle and a keen amateur footballer, McKenna was staying at the Hotel Levant in San Antonio.

and four hundred people in the village,” Thompson explained.

“And if I haven’t taught you, the chances are I’ve taught your son or your daughter or your grandchild.”

He also endeared himself by taking part in the village’s ‘Playback’ talent show - ‘a little like Soan Joan’s Got Talent.’ His latest on-stage choreo-

graphed performance? A five-man fedora-wearing, sunglasses-adorned tribute to those kings of cool, the Blues Brothers In a small town where ‘everyone knows everyone’, throwing oneself so wholeheartedly into the local customs and traditions goes a long way. So far after his first couple of weeks in the job, his new constituents have been flocking to him to shake his hand and offer congratulations. But then they invariably raise some minor issue that perhaps he could help them with - ‘a pothole in their road or low water pressure at home.’

“I know I’m still in the honeymoon period. I think the rule is, in politics, you’ve got about 90 days of grace to bed in.” Hopefully, by then, Thompson will be well on his way to implementing his party’s 12-point environmentalist manifesto.

IN OFFICE: Teacher Thompson takes charge

Photo by Catalina Jaume Gayá

Voted top

A campaigning, community newspaper, the Olive Press represents the huge expatriate community in Spain with an estimated readership, including the websites, of more than two million people a month.

Flags of shame

SPAIN’S natural beauty is legendary. Just take a look at our special travel article on the Costa de la Luz this edition.

The historic Cadiz coast gives a unique glimpse into an older way of life while the laid-back lifestyle is a draw for those who want to escape the hordes of northern Europeans this summer.

But - and this is a message the Olive Press has long hammered home through our ‘Hands off our Costas’ campaign - the authorities should be careful not to ruin the very surroundings that attract people in the first place.

It’s all well and good trumpeting our beaches with Blue Flags in a bid to woo the tourists.

The honours handed out by the European Union are a good way to galvanise our town halls into cleaning up their act and being rewarded for success.

But we believe it is far more important to pick up on the far more shocking cases that still shame Spain.

So hats off to green group, Ecologistas en Accion for handing out their 48 unwelcome Black Flag awards each year. The dreaded awards are designed to shame politicians into cleaning up pollution, protecting the environment and curbing further development.

In many places - such as around Tarifa in Andalucia and the Costa Blanca - this excellent pressure group highlights the final unspoiled stretches of our coastline.

But in the Balearic islands the focus is rather different. Here the focus is on noise pollution, with two Black Flags handed out for ‘unrestricted’ use of jet skis as well as noisy party boats.

The cacophony doesn’t just assail human ears - which is bad enough - but also affects wildlife.

The Balearics are a haven for many marine and bird species including whales and turtles.

These thrive in peace and quiet, but could stay away by unrestricted party boats and jet skis.

Surely there is enough room for man and nature to coexist.

It is time the authorities thought more about nature and less about mammon.

PUBLISHER / EDITOR

Jon Clarke, jon@theolivepress.es

Dilip Kuner dilip@theolivepress.es

Alberto Lejarraga alberto@theolivepress.es

Jo Chipchase jo@theolivepress.es

John Culatto

ADMIN Victoria Humenyuk Makarova (+34) 951 273 575 admin@theolivepress.es

For

DON’T BE A GILIPOLLAS!

WHEN former Barcelona Mayor Xavier Trias lost his post to socialist Jaume Collboni of the Catalan Socialist Party (PSC) he could barely contain his annoyance.

Speaking after the investiture of Collboni as leader of a minority administration, he said: “At my age of 76, I had already said, ‘If I don’t end up mayor, they can all go screw themselves’,” (pictured below).

It was a statement of typical Spanish bluntness that is displayed in all walks of lifeeven in the full glare of publicity.

Indeed, if you have fully embraced Spanish language and culture you can’t go for an hour in Spain without insulting some ‘dickhead’ driver or roadworks in the middle of summer.

While there are hilarious phrases that can be harnessed as Spanishs insults (¡Que te folle un pez! or ‘get f**ked by a fish’) there remain some critical curse words you’ll need to season your day-to-day speech in Spain. Here are 12 Spanish insults that will slot

12 Spanish insults that will make you sound like a native

By Dilip Kuner

you right into Spanish culture and make you sound like native.

1. Me cago en... (insert object of hatred)

Any language that has no scatalogical (poo-related) insults is not worth learning. While Spanish has an equivalent for ‘s**t’ - mierda - it enjoys another creative method for expressing disgust, disappointment or rage.

The phrase usually starts ‘me cago en...’ (I s**t on...) followed by the object of hatred at hand.

The most traditional forms are as follows:

¡Me cago en tu puta madre! (I s**t on your whore-mother) ¡Me cago en la puta que te parió! (I s**t on the whore that gave birth to you) ¡Me cago en la puta! (I s**t on the whore)

¡Me cago en la leche! (I s**t in the milk)

¡Me cago en tus muertos! (I s**t on your dead ancestors) (EXTREME CAUTION: this is very, very offensive)

2. Gilipollas

Few Spanish insults are as satisfying as ‘gilipollas’. Literally it means ‘stupid dick’ and refers to someone who thinks with a dick for a brain. Though it’s more equivalent to ‘dickhead’ or ‘stupid idiot’ or ‘prick’. It can be used both to cause offence, naturally, but also among friends and acquaintances.

EXAMPLE

Porque sales a la calle con calcetines y chanclas tió, ¿serás gilipollas?

(Why are you going out in socks and sandals man, are you a dickhead or something?) (This happened, it was my mother-in-law).

3. Joder

Joder is a versatile Spanish curse word that traditionally has a similar meaning to ‘f**k’ but is extremely rarely used in a sexual context in Spain. Generally, it can be used to express anything from mild frustration to frothing anger. It’s very common to hear elderly people using joder and in general it wouldn’t be frowned upon in their presence.

EXAMPLE

Joder, has dejado la ropa fuera en la lluvia otra vez.

(F**k, you left the clothes out in the rain again.)

4. Mierda

Mierda is a simple insult for English speakers to slot into their Spanish, as in most situations it can substitute ‘s**t’. One situation where it can’t would be in vete a la mierda or ‘go to hell’. You will often hear Spanish people say una mierda when they mean something like ‘there’s no way in hell’.

EXAMPLE ¿Que mierda no?

(How s**t right?)

5. Puta

It’s strange the Spanish obsession with anything bad being attributed to whores - especially when one in five Spanish men admit to having used a sex worker’s services. But, whether a hangover from Catholicism or an act of denial, there it is. Puta is another versatile word that can be slotted in before any word to enhance the potency of an insult or expression.

EXAMPLE ¡El puto perro de ese gilipollas ha cagado en mis putos geranios otra vez!

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Deposito

BALLAST FOR BACALAO

ON the surface of things, there is nothing to connect the Norwegian landscape with Spain. It couldn’t be more different: Norway, stretching north above the Arctic Circle, is a country of steep rock cliffs and deep fjords created by glacial erosion.

The country is synonymous with waterfalls, glaciers and fjords, along with perpetually misty mountains and copious amounts of rain and snow. Yet there is a part of these lands – albeit a very small part – that will remain forever Spanish.

Allow me to explain:

Norwegian shipping statistics show there was a constant flow of ships with vast tonnage leaving the ports of Norway for the Iberian Penin-

You don’t have to be in Spain to stand on Spanish soil, writes Jack Gaioni

sula between 1830-1900. They carried full cargos of lumber, ice and salted cod or bacalao. This export was very profitable but there was little Spanish cargo to load for the return trips back to Norway. Some grains, olive and wine products were sent north but demand for these products was low.

Given the weight of their rig and sail, the Norwegian sailing ships needed ballast once they were emptied of cargo. The process of ballasting involves loading heavy material into the bilge of the ship to give it stability and balance. The Norwegian shipmasters filled up with Spanish soil, and brought massive amounts of it back to Norway. ‘Ballast places’ were established along the Norwegian coastline, and Spain’s soil was subsequently put to good use. There was little topsoil around the rocky fjords, so much of the Spanish ballast soil was used as ‘fill’ in the construction of streets, parks, gardens and quays. In the port cities of Fredrikstad and Oslo, huge quantities of ballast soil was used to increase the size of the harbours. Some soil was sold for profit.

In a few instances, the soil was deposited in cemeteries to provide sufficient depth for proper burials, as was the case in Alesund, a coastal port just south of the Arctic Circle. According to local folklore, there’s a saying that to be buried in the Alesund Church or in the nearby Borgund Kirke Cemetery, is to be ‘buried in Spanish soil’.

Whereas Spanish soil may have changed the Norwegian landscape in a very small way, the exported cod changed Spanish culture. While it was a longstanding Catholic tradition not to eat meat on certain days (for example, Fridays during Lent), eating fish was encouraged.

The rise in the consumption of fish since the 18th century has been exponential, and Norwegian cod has gone a long way in meeting this demand.

Bacalao is now a well-established part of Spanish gastronomy. Ask anyone who has spent time in Spain for an opinion on it, and you’re likely to get a passionate response. Visit Alesund and anyone their opinion on being buried in Spanish soil, and … well, they’re sure to remain silent on the subject.

(The f**king dog of that dickbrain has s**t in my f**king geraniums again!)

6. Hijo de puta

Hijo de puta could be translated as ‘son of a bitch’.

But as we’ve seen, puta means ‘whore’ or ‘prostitute’ in Spanish.

Generally, if you want a good-and-proper Spanish insult you should direct your swearing towards someone’s upbringing - and especially someone’s mother - for maximum effect.

Commonly you’ll hear people in Spain shortening the insult to just hijoputa or hijaputa

EXAMPLE

Limpia las cacas de tu perro, ¡hijoputa! (Clean up your dog poo, son of a whore!)

7. Hostia puta

Hostia literally translates as ‘host’ in the Christian sense, meaning the body of Christ given to the confirmed during the Eucharist. But it’s been hijacked by the sharp Spanish tongue as a general expression of shock, either positive or negative.

For some unknown reason you’ll often hear people in Spain sticking a puta on the end for good measure.

EXAMPLE ¡Hostia puta! Tengo 500 seguidores en Instagram!

(Holy s**t! I have 500 followers on Instagram!)

8. A tomar por culo

While we don’t approve of homophobic connotations to this insult, it’s in the list because it’s such a widespread Spanish insult.

Vete a tomar por culo literally means ‘go and get it in the arse’ though in practice means ‘go f**k yourself’.

It’s generally a way to tell someone to get lost or get out of your business immediately.

EXAMPLE

Vino a pedirme que regularize mi nueva piscina con el ayuntamiento y le mandé a tomar por culo.

(He came asking me to declare my new swimming pool at the town hall and I told him to go f**k himself.)

9. Coño

The unfortunate translation of this colourful Spanish insult is the English ‘c u next tuesday’.

I say unfortunate because the Spanish version is really nothing like the gravest and most unsavoury of English insults. Coño is used in Spain to express anything from mild surprise to add weight behind an expression. For example: ¿Y a mi que coño me importa? or ‘and why the c**t should I care?’

EXAMPLE

¿Que coño te pasa?

¡Que estoy hasta el coño de escuchar tu reggaeton de mierda!

(What the c**t is wrong with you? I’m up to my c**t with hearing your s**tty reggaeton!)

10. Pringado

Pringado is a Spanish insult that speaks of someone who through naivety or worse gets fooled into doing

We help you escape

The Olive Press Travel site has gone up to a whole new level!

AS the world descends on the costas…we’d like to give you some alternatives. For those of us lucky enough to live here, now is the perfect time to explore some of the quieter - and cooler - corners of Spain. This issue we suggest the Costa de la Luz, a world away from the sweaty bun-fights in Marbella, Javea or Torrevieja in summer.

But equally, how about the moderate climes of Galicia or the mountains of Extremadura? We have researched and published hundreds of top-quality articles over the years.

Even better, they can all be found in one place: in the travel section of the Olive Press website. Chock full of ideas of where to visit, where to stay and where to eat.

Regular visitors to our website - check out ‘Olive Press Travel’ at theolivepress.es - may have noticed a difference over the past few weeks.

things other people don’t want to do, or always ends up with the blame. Pringado can also be someone generally failing at everything and with the worst luck. It could be translated as the US English ‘loser’ or ‘sucker’ or ‘chump’.

EXAMPLE Es un pringado, no le tienes que dar pena. (He’s just a loser, you don’t need to feel bad for him.)

11. Desgraciado This is an insult many Spanish people take immense pride in saying. There’s little worse than being a desgraciado or ‘wretch’. The word literally means ‘without grace’ and will generally be hurled in the direction of anyone acting without care or concern for others.

EXAMPLE Olvídalo, no es más que un desgraciado. Forget about him, he’s no more than a wretch.

12. Cabrón

Literally this essential Spanish insult means a male goat. If you’re not aware, male goats can be either aggressive or careless or annoying or all three.

A very common insult in Spain that can also be used to insult someone you’re envious of.

EXAMPLE

¿Has visto que el cabrón tiene un Range Rover? Vamos a pincharle las ruedas.

(Did you see the male goat now has a Range Rover? Let’s puncture his tyres.)

We have brought on board well respected travel writer Sorrel Downer - whose work is often featured in the Guardian - to drive the site on.

Ensuring it is full of not just excellent photos and well-informed articles but also useful information for any would-be traveller.

Tips on the most interesting museums to visit to reviews of the country’s best restaurants and hotels, the Olive Press always sends out staff and contributors to actually visit the places they write about.

This makes our site authoritative in a way that cut-and-paste merchants from lazier websites can’t hope to match.

At the moment we have two interns from America’s Princeton University - Isabel Max and Regina Roberts - who are sharing their journeys around Spain with our readers (you can read about their trip to Tarifa in this issue.)

Many more journeys are lined up in the coming weeks including special spots to cool down for a cooling dip, a trip to Nerja and a Best of the Islands special, plus much more.

This top quality content has not gone unnoticed among travel writers.

Indeed, seasoned author Paul Richardson is so impressed that he has agreed to serialise his latest book, Hidden Valleys, about life in Extremadura, in the Olive Press this summer - a real honour for us.

So what are you waiting for? Visit theolivepress.es and the whole of Spain is at your fingertips.

The top five most read stories on www.theolivepress.es in the past two weeks are:

1- Around 200 members of a rainbow hippy family kicked out from Andalucia’s major national park

2- A VICTIM’S PLEA to Madeleine McCann suspect Christian Brueckner: You’re a loser. I survived and am loved and free

● BALLAST is one of those unusual words that is both a noun and a verb. The definition of the noun is heavy material (e.g. rock, soil, or iron) placed in such a way as to improve stability, control and balance. As a verb, it means to steady or fill in.

● BACALAO al Pil Pil is a Basque regional specialty with a fascinating story of origin. During the Second Carlist War (1846) a restaurateur named Simon Gurtubay ordered 20 to 22 Norwegian cod. There was a mix-up and he received 20,022 Norwegian cod. By coincidence, the order arrived on the eve of the Siege of Bilbao. Having only a few simple ingredients to hand (namely olive oil, garlic and peppers), he not only concocted his famous recipe, he helped save the city from starvation!

3- Rejected Schengen visa applicants lash out at ‘merciless’ Spain and other countries

4-Shark sighting forces bathers out of water at Costa Blanca beach in Spain

5- IN PICS: Costa del Sol in the 1970s

GILIPOLLAS: A common insult against drivers

FLOATING: Violette

Enchanting display

MADRID was treated to a unique and enchanting display when French pianist Violette Prevost captivated hundreds with a floating piano performance.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, a mesmerised audience gathered around the Pradolongo artificial lake in Usera to witness an extraordinary concert.

Ethereal

The renowned musical ensemble known as Piano du Lac orchestrated the event, their only stop in central Madrid during their summer tour across Spain. Prevost took to her ethereal floating stage and blended classical melodies with contemporary compositions.

Gods of art

Graffiti and classical art fused by Spanish duo

TWO Spanish graffiti artists have built up an international reputation for creating murals of the ancient Greek gods on large high-rise buildings across the world.

The eye-catching works seamlessly combine modern artistic sensibilities with the ancient Greek mythological world. PichiAvo have been described

EUROPE’S largest vertical mural, on Spain’s south coast, is just weeks away from completion. Covering over 6,000 square metres, Les Rivages de Almuñecar, by artist Jose Ríos, is being painted on three 12-storey buildings.

The mural depicts a figure of a dog walking on the beach, the silhouette of a woman and the

By Alex Trelinski

as being ‘among the most prominent street artists on the current urban art scene’.

Pichi and Avo trained in Fine Art and Design and met on the graffiti art scene in Valencia before becoming a duo in 2007.

Tall order

waves of the sea and the golden sand. Its conception was to convey a sense of transparency and disguise the tower blocks on which it is painted. It will be viewable in all its glory in the town of Almuñecar,

From that moment they worked on developing joint projects, pursuing an unremitting search for a style of their own in fusion of graffiti and classical art.

Recently the pair completed stylized graffiti murals of the Greek gods and subjects from Greek Mythology in Spain and Canada, and also recently took part in the 2023 Mural Festival in Montreal.

In Spain, they have finished a mural in Merida, Extremadura, near to the city's famous Roman Hippodrome, once used for horse and chariot racing. Commenting on the new mural, PichiAvo said: “We painted a new version of the Venus del Mitreo which is exhibited in the Museo Nacional del Arte Romano also located in Merida.”

“It involved reconstructing the bust inspired by the Syra-

Bonus success

SPAIN'S Youth Cultural Bonus for 2022, which provides €400 per head to invest in culture to young people who reach 18 years, has distributed more than €37.5 million since it started being issued last October. Some 277,754 people who turned 18 during the qualifying period for the 2022 Bonus applied for the money - around half of those who were eligible to do so. People who celebrate their 18th birthday this year can now apply for the 2023 grant with a closing date of September 30.

MAKING WAVES

FLAMENCO lovers with sea legs will soon be able to enjoy a highly original Mediterranean cruise experience in november.

cuse-type Venus from the National Archaeological Museum in Athens, since we found the similarity between the two works very fruitful,” they commented.

The synergy between classical art and graffiti can be seen in their many murals of the ancient Greek gods that combine contemporary street art with the sensibilities of the ancient world.

OP QUICK CROSSWORD

Seven Seas Flamenco Experience consists of a voyage on board the Atlantis, which, with the Mediterranean as a backdrop, will put the gypsy artform centre stage. The cruise experience will transport flamenco lovers through four emblematic cities for an authentic flamenco experience at each stop; Cartagena, Almeria, Malaga and Cadiz.

Across

6 Manet or Monet (13)

8 Nobility (7)

9 Jewish teacher (5)

10 Hint about not being obese (4)

11 Substantial (8)

15 North Sea oil port (8)

16 Kind of farm (4)

19 Worth (5)

21 Pancake-like bread of India (7)

22 Spiritless (13)

Down

1 Desire for food (8)

2 What avengers do (5)

3 Sea-girt land (4)

4 Make right (7)

5 Member (4)

6 Computer feed (5)

7 Brief moment (5)

12 What the clock struck to scare away the mouse (3)

13 Mesmerize (8)

14 Abdominal gland (7)

15 Smith’s block (5)

17 Seed planter (5)

18 Effervescent (5)

20 Gambler’s asset (4)

21 Crushed taco on the outside (4)

All solutions are on page 14

CLASSIC GRAFFITI: Painted by PichiAvo (below)

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NO PAY

FOUR out of 10 workers in Spain receive no compensation for their overtime.

A study carried out by Infojobs and Adecco exposed businesses in Spain for not complying with the regulations placed by the Spanish Government in 2019.

The latest royal decree states that full-time employees can only work up to 80 hours of overtime a year.

It also enforces companies to monitor and register their employees working time and to pay them for all the extra hours worked.

Those organisations not complying with these policies could face fines of up to €6,000. However, the study shows that most companies ignored these regulations last year. In 2022, over half of the workers (53%) did more hours than their theoretical annual working time.

OVERDUE

FOUR out of 10 workers in Spain receive no compensation for their overtime.

A study carried out by Infojobs and Adecco exposed businesses in Spain for not complying with the regulations placed by the Spanish Government in 2019. The latest royal decree states that full-time employees can only work up to 80 hours of overtime a year.

It also enforces companies to monitor and register their employees working time and to pay them for all the extra hours worked.

Those organisations not complying with these policies could face fines of up to €6,000. However, the study shows that most companies ignored these regulations last year. In 2022, over half of the workers (53%) did more hours than their theoretical annual working time.

Vodafone faces uncertain future

Communications giant mulls abandoning Spanish market

BRITISH telecoms group

Vodafone could pull out of Spain and has hired the Morgan Stanley investment bank to review its options in the country, according to Spanish media reports. Spain, which comprises around 9% of global operations, was Vodafone’s worst-performing region

By Alex Trelinski

in the 2023 financial year, with service revenue growth falling by 5.4%the highest in any of the company’s markets. The fall was blamed on ‘continued price competition and a lower customer

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Pay up!

BANKS in Spain have been told to start paying clients better rates for their savings as interest rates continue to climb.

The call has come from Economy Minister, Nadia Calvino, speaking at an event organised by the BBVA bank. Banks have cashed in with increased profit margins due to the European Central Bank tightening its monetary policy and lifting interest rates to 3.5% - the highest in over 20 years. Most banks though have not passed on the full benefit of rate rises to customers who have deposit accounts.

Nadio Calvino said: “I have no doubt that the Spanish banking sector has to start transmitting the rise in interest rates for the benefit of customers and Spanish citizens.”

base’.

In the group’s latest annual report, published in May, it noted a ‘strategic review’ of its operations in Spain was part of a multi-faceted action plan to spur growth across several European markets.

Deutsche Bank telecoms analyst Robert Grindle said that a partial or full sale of Vodafone’s Spanish division, including its fixed-network infrastructure, could attract private equity interest.

“Further strategic action

by Vodafone to address underperforming assets following recent news of the proposed UK merger should prove sentiment supportive,” noted Grindle, referring to Vodafone’s planned merger with Three.

Vodafone is not the only firm in the Spanish market suffering from high competition with Orange having to strike a deal to merge operations with Masmovil to make savings, allowing it to increase investments.

Pension scheme boost

Positive outlook

THE Bank of Spain has raised its economic growth forecast for 2023 to 2.3% from 1.6% in March as activity picked up more than expected at the start of the year, with energy costs easing and employment rising. The country’s GDP has also been boosted in recent months with record numbers of foreign visitors pumping money into the economy.

The Bank says that GDP will rise by 2.2% and 2.1% respectively in 2024 and 2025.

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To help you stay safe here is a checklist of some important safety items in the event of a breakdown.

This emergency breakdown kit should be kept in your vehicle at all times. The kit includes: a torch and spare batteries, warm clothes and blankets, high-visibility jacket, first aid kit, jump start cables, empty fuel can, food and drink, two reflective warning signs, a road atlas, and a mobile phone charger.

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We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 952 147 834. More information about Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

THE volume of assets in the individual pension system in Spain increased by €365m to €83.1bn in May 2023, according to data from Inverco.

The company noted that the positive returns experienced during the month drove the rise in individual pension assets.

This is the third month in a row that individual pension assets have increased in Spain, rising from €82bn to €83.1bn between the end of February and the end of May.

Big figures

Correos delivers

SPAIN’S national post service, Correos, has won two awards at the World Post & Parcel Awards 2023

It scooped the prizes for the Correos Market app, and in the Postal Evolution category for the Correos Frío service.

The public company said in a statement that these awards are considered the ‘Oscars of the postal and logistics sector’.

“The Spanish economy has shown remarkable resilience in the first half of the year,” highlights the Bank of Spain’s quarterly report.

The entity believes that inflation will close the year at an average of 3.2% compared to 3.7% in its last quarterly report in March.

THE El Corte Ingles Group closed the 2022 financial year with global revenues of €15.3 billion - up 22.5% compared to the previous year with net profits rising seven-fold to €870 million.

The group says the results are down to the way it has developed its business, cut costs, and introduced management improvements which has allowed it to consolidate growth despite customers having to endure higher inflation and interest rates.

“The solid financial position together with a strong recovery in profitability will allow the group to undertake new projects in the future,” an El Corte Ingles statement said.

The main growth driver has been the retail side of the business, which achieved sales of €12.2 billion representing a growth of 7.8% compared to the previous year with fashion doing well as sales went up by 16.3%.

CALL: from Economy Minister Nadia Calvino

FOOD, DRINK & TRAVEL

No entry

SPAIN is the EU country second most likely to refuse a visa application, according to applicants and EU data. Social media platforms have become a haven for applicants to vent their rage at Schengen countries for what they perceive as ‘merciless’ refusal of their applications. Recent statistics released for 2022 indicate that Schengen countries collectively rejected 17.9% of the 7,572,755 visa applications submitted worldwide.

Spain followed France in a close second in rejecting

227,712 applications out of nearly 1,250,000 applica -

History covered

THE June issue of National Geographic has captivated readers by featuring Spain’s Crown Jewel; The Alhambra Palace.

The prestigious magazine dedicates an elaborate report to Granada’s greatest monument, with the cover headline ‘The hidden Alhambra’ and a photo showing the characteristic architecture of the beautiful, ancient palace.

BRITS FINGERED

BRITS heading to Mallorca will soon be required to be fingerprinted as well have a mugshot taken on entry under new EU legislation coming in.

The new European Union Entry/Exit System (EES), which has faced two delays, is scheduled to take effect later this year and will apply to non-EU nationals.

Gangsters and thugs need also be aware: It will also record refusals of entry, while

Dear Jennifer:

Safe as houses

identifying overstayers as well as cases of document and identity fraud. It will also collect other vital information including travel document type and the date and location of entry and exit.

The EES is expected to come in around the same time as the EU’s new ETIAS entry fee, dubbed a tourist tax, which will require €7 to enter the Schengen zone.

Tuck in!

SPAIN’S restaurants held their heads high at the Best Restaurants in the World Awards 2023’ staged at Valencia’s Les Arts Opera House.

The ceremony honoured the pinnacle of gastronomic talent from 24 countries across five continents, with three out of the top four coming from Spain.

But it was Central in Peru’s capital of Lima that was named the best restaurant in the world by 1,080 restaurant industry experts.

It edged out Barcelona’s Disfrutar, Madrid’s Diverxo, and Axtondo’s Asador Etxeberri, with Disfrutar’s second-place guaranteeing it the best restaurant in Europe award.

Further down the list, Quique Dacosta in Denia came 20th and Mugaritz

Many cheers

BEER drinking reached a record-high in Spain in 2022 helped by hospitality recovering after the pandemic and a surge in tourist numbers.

Figures released by the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries, and Food in conjunction with Cerveceros de España showed that 42.3 million hectolitres of beer were downed last year.

That’s 6% more than in 2021 and beats the previous best of 41.3 million hectolitres in 2019.

In terms of production, Spain ousted Poland as the second biggest producer in the EU and is now behind Germany. Spain is ninth in the world standings, headed by China, the US and Brazil.

Almost all the beer consumed in Spain is made domestically: in total 41.1 million hectolitres were manufactured - 7.9% more than in 2021.

Exports rose by 13.4% last year, to 4.2 million hectolitres, with Portugal, the United Kingdom, China and Equatorial Guinea as the main markets. Imports meanwhile fell by 3.63% in 2022 compared to the previous year, to 5.4 million hectolitres with Belgium as the main seller.

Spanish gourmet dominates at awards night

At least ask the write questions to make sure you are covered

I REGULARLY extoll the virtues of Liberty’s fully comprehensive house policy. When asking the right questions, you will discover that many house insurance policies are inadequate.

Is your building size correct? Are your outside areas correctly covered – especially including pools and terraces? Do you have enough contents cover?

What Liberty Seguros offers today is the best. A specially designed policy for the Expats, with policy documents in English. The other very important issue when discussing house insurance is the amount of contents cover, always remembering that with Spanish Home insurance the kitchen is included in the contents, not the buildings.

There are optional extras that can be added to your policy, so that it is tailor made for your requirements, which include garden protection, Home Improved, which allows you to increase the aesthetic restoration and additional cover for valuable objects and jewellery (conditions apply)

A further extra you can add to your policy is accidental damage, which is unique to Liberty Seguros and covers many breakages and claims within the home.

Therefore can I please ask you all to double check the coverage of your home policies, whether you are with Jennifer Cunningham Insurance and Liberty, or another company, to understand the cover you actually have.

Finding out you have the incorrect and insufficient coverage when you want to make a claim is far too late.

If you rent out your property, there is further Landlord Protection which provides cover for acts of vandalism by the tenant and also unpaid rent covers up to 6 months once a final judgement has been made legally.

If you have any concerns or questions, please contact one of my offices and we will be able to give you the advice you require and answer any questions.

Just remember that your home is probably your most expensive asset, but there are also your personal belongings, which of course, needs the right protection.

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR A QUOTATION, PLEASE CALL ONE OF MY OFFICES, EMAIL INFO@ JENNIFERCUNNINGHAM.NET OR VISIT THE WEBSITE WWW.JENNIFERCUNNINGHAM.NET

By Alex Trelinski

in San Sebastian was 31st. Spanish restaurants had a strong showing further down the list, including the first appearance of Valencia’s Restaurante Ri -

card Camarina at 96 and the return of chef Albert Adria’s Engima in Barcelona at number 82.

Perfection

Total perfection was achieved by chef Antoni Luis Arduiz who received the Icon Award for his lifetime of work at San Sebastian’s Mugaritz and Madrid’s Diverxo. Diverxo’s in-house sommelier Miguel Angel Millan also took home the prize for Best Sommelier in the World.

Through ticket

Consumption grew especially in the hospitality industry, 32% more, due to the boost of tourism. But pre-pandemic hospitality sector levels have not yet been reached, though tourist numbers so far this year suggest that could well happen.

Trend

Some 70% of beer was consumed outside the home in 2019, but last year this figure remains below 60%.

Another trend was the rise by 11% last year in non-alcoholic beer sales, accounting for 13% of all beer consumption.

AIR Europa and Iryo have announced the launch of combined plane and train tickets in Spain from September.

The agreement will include flights connecting Spain with 33 destinations in Europe, Latin America and the USA. Flights arriving and departing from Madrid will have a high-speed train connection to 11 Spanish cities. These include Barcelona, Tarragona, Zaragoza, Cuenca, Valencia, Albacete, Alicante, Malaga, Sevilla, Cordoba and Antequera.

THE journey from Zahara de los Atunes to Barbate is one of the most scenic in Andalucia… and a tardis between two worlds.

Zahara is the quintessential home of affluence; a golden magnet for upmarket restaurants and a flotilla of Cayennes and Q7s come weekends and peak holiday season.

In contrast, Barbate is a new town created by dictator Franco, pockmarked with ugly 1960s tower blocks and afflicted by an unemployment rate as high as anywhere else in Europe. What they share though, is privilege.

For what surrounds them is a canvas of colours and

THE LIGHTNESS OF BEING

contours, a backdrop of Africa, all illuminated by an almost unique changing light. Long, unspoilt beaches, windswept sand dunes and scrub, umbrella pines and the smell of rosemary and mimosa.

This is the Costa de la Luzthe Coast of Light - and a million miles away from its nearby cousin the Costa del Sol, indeed the costas in general. This is a coastline of castles and carpaccios, coves and corvina (one of its best local fish)... the perfect blend of nature and its best ingredients.

This is a coastline of gems; historic Tarifa, the bridgehead for the Moors in Spain and a crossing point for centuries and beautiful Vejer de la Frontera, with its cobbled streets and restaurant scene.

This is a coastline of laid back, low rise resorts; Roman Bolonia and the biggest sand dune in the world, entertaining El Palmar, with its party crowd and surf, and quirky Canos de Meca, with its alternative feel.

But what best sums up this long stretch of coastline for me is the view you get while taking lunch at places like Patria or Tesoro, that sit high in the hills, or on the terrace of a hotel suite like Califa in Vejer or Punta Sur, in Tarifa.

For spreading out in front of you are uninterrupted vistas of rolling fields and pine trees

all the way down to white sandy beaches, with very little built on them.

An incredible sight, this patchwork quilt of greenery and long, unspoilt beaches is sadly practically unique to Spain these days, but what much of Andalucia’s coastline would have looked like 50 years ago.

The Costa de la Luz is only matched in beauty by Cabo de Gata in Almeria but there is something intrinsically different about the Costa de la Luz: Laid back and unshowy, its friendly, unfussy locals complement the breathtaking scenery and distinctive vibe.

The coastline is, without a doubt, for the more discerning tourist and, in particular, for lovers of fine food.

Vejer, in particular, has an incredible mix of stylish boutique hotels and probably the highest concentration of top restaurants per capita of anywhere else in Andalucia.

This is a true food capital and over the last few years, I have found at least a dozen great places to eat within a ten mile radius of the town. Tarifa has an altogether different feel. This is a party town, particularly in summer, when the back streets are heaving with lively bars well into the early hours.

But its stylish mix of shops and restaurants added to its melting pot of worldly Spaniards and interesting expats make for a distinct Tarifa scene, not dissimilar to the one you find in Ibiza and it is one of the few places – thanks in the main to its breezes – that still has enough going on through the winter.

The Moors would never have had it so good on arriving in Tarifa in 710AD. While later dubbing Andalucia ‘paradise’, it was certainly anything but peaceful when they used the town as their

bridgehead into southern Spain.

This is quickly obvious wondering around Tarifa, its historic ramparts littered with statues and references to stirring catholic heroes such as Sancho El Bravo and Guzmán el Bueno.

THE Costa de la Luz officially stretches for around 200kms all the way up into Huelva and to the border with Portugal.

Split in two by the stunning Donana national park, the coastline also includes the socalled 'sherry triangle' or 'Cadiz coast' towns of Sanlucar de Barrameda, Rota, Chipiona and El Puerto de Santa Maria. It also includes the cities of Cadiz and Huelva.

Jon Clarke takes a trip along the Costa de la Luz of Cadiz, Andalucia’s most unspoilt, if sometimes rather breezy, coastline

If you have never taken a ride to these shores, the other side of the Rock of Gibraltar and around Cadiz you are in for a surprise.

This is Europe’s true deep south; a series of windswept flood plains, fringed by miles and miles of mesmerizing

and largely unspoilt white, soft and sandy beaches, ideal for a bucket-and-spade-holiday.

Aside from the austere ‘cubist’ towns, which were built by the Moors who ruled this land for nearly 800 years, you will be spoilt by the numerous sites from the famous Trafalgar lighthouse – off which the key naval battle once took place - to the historic fishing village of Sancti Petri, near Chiclana. Then there are the excellent Roman ruins at Bolonia and hidden gems, like Zahora and exclusive Roche, where Madrid’s captains of indus-

try take their holidays.

My favourite spots though include the secret beach, a half an hour walk from Bolonia, where you will find just cows, the celebrat-

COAST WITH THE MOST

ed brown retinto cows of the region.

I also love the amazing walk through umbrella pines to the Torre del Tajo, high above Barbate, which finally gives out one of the best views in Christendom.

And then there is the ancient dovecote at El Palomar de la Brena, plus the historic inland gem of Medina Sidonia. But best of all it is the restaurants and food that make this region so very special. There is literally everything here from the historic converted townhouses, like Califa, to the evocative dining terraces at Patria and Castilleria.

BOLONIA’S iconic, giant sand dune is the texture of icing sugar, its waters Caribbean blue.

The largest on the Continent it dares to be climbed, just to see what lies beyond.

While there is no secret

And above all there are the ingredients… the amazing tuna, lo cal vegetables and the amazing beef from the aforementioned cows. And then up the road you have Jerez, its history and its sher ries, not to mention the incredible historic gem of Cadiz and its nearby towns of San lucar and Puerto de Santa Maria and the true lungs of Andalucia, the celebrated Donana National Park. Oh the incredible lightness of being!

BIGGEST DUNE IN EUROPE

cove or crock of gold at the end it is a lovely slow transition into a cool, scented pine forest. And the stunning views from the top are

a reminder of how all coastal Andalucia once was.

Nearby look for Cala del Picacho, for some therapeutic mud-baking.

The mud treatments are popular and you smash up some wet slate stone to create your own mudpack, before letting it dry off.

& TRAVEL

BATTLEGROUND

TARIFA is a place worth fighting for.

The town, which has changed hands between Phoenicians, Romans, Muslims, and Christians, straddles the Med and Atlantic and offers a commanding position of the Straits of Gibraltar. Historically, whoever controlled the town controlled the shipping routes between North Africa and Europe.

You need to dip back into the aeons of time, to AD 710, when the town got its name from an Arab officer named Tarif-Ibn-Malik who led the Moors’ first successful expeditionary force into Spain. Today, it’s Tarifa’s expansive white-sandy beaches and famed winds which have tourists and kite surfers jockeying for space in her coastal waters. But it’s the old town, a five minute walk from the beach, that ultimately gives the gorgeous landscape its windwhipped and sea-sprayed patina.

In narrow cobblestone alleys, hemmed in by white walls inlaid with colourful doors, you’ll find yourself transported back in time to when Malik and his forces strengthened the mediaeval castle walls, parts of which still stand.

Trip to the shops

Very much the real Spain and ancient authentic Andalucia, the winding, cobbled streets were designed

Tarifa is the real Spain, a gem of a town with history reaching back to the Phoenicians, writes Isabel Max

By Isabel Max

in AD 910 to offer shade at all times of day.

All the better for the modern-day shopper with the best shops to be found along Calle Nuestra Señora de la Luz which also offer something of a history lesson, as well.

The Moroccan shop, Etnika, drew me in with a kaleidoscope of colour. The dresses and scarves on display are just a precursor, though, to the textiles, ceramics and jewellery which crowded its corners. It is a treasure trove of inspiration from across the Straits.

We also popped into TalZen, a bohemian style boutique and an impressive one-woman show. Though eclectic, everything from t-shirts to talismans is thought out. I found too many souvenirs and bought them all.

Hunger pangs

A near-synonym for ‘shopping’ is ‘hungry’ and, looking for comfort food, I found Chilimosa Vegetariana.

In a tiny kitchen across from my table, two chefs whipped up wonders borrowed from Greek, Afghan, Indian, Japanese, French and Italian cuisines.

Our server, Jack, a British man who we later discovered is the restaurant owner, recommended the Indian mixed platter. It is a feast for one with tangy korma, onion bhajis fritters, fresh chutney, green salad with beets, basmati rice and a con-

FUN FACT

Tarifa is sometimes credited with being the origin of the word ‘tariff’, since it was the first port in history to charge merchants for the use of its docks.

OP Puzzle solutions

Quick Crossword

Across: 6 Impressionist, 8 Peerage, 9 Rabbi, 10 Thin, 11 Concrete, 15 Aberdeen, 16 Stud, 19 Value, 21 Chapati, 22 Lackadaisical.

Down: 1 Appetite, 2 Repay, 3 Isle, 4 Correct, 5 Limb, 6 Input, 7 Trice, 12 One, 13 Entrance, 14 Adrenal, 15 Anvil, 17 Drill, 18 Gassy, 20 Luck, 21 Coat.

ical spiral of crispy poppadom. Each element was spot-on. My friend’s large portion of vegetable lasagne, made with soya granules, was just as comforting as its beef counterpart. The food’s unpretentious presentation underpinned the restaurant’s mission: to bring a home-made flavour to international cuisine, with ingredients from local, sustainable sources.

Buzzing at night

We ended our night at Taco Way, the tourist-heavy bar with a rainbow of synthetic leis dan gling from the rafters and garish (though strong) cocktails. We fit right in until we decided we did not want to. All around the once quiet old town it was completely buzzing, the bars alive, while queues built up outside clubs in the wee hours. Smaller bars in plazas, such as Bar El Otro Melli, be come well-positioned for people watching, as people zig and zag through the excited 1am maze.

A Sunday morning stroll

I woke up early to plan a route into the Parque Natural del Estrecho, which is a welcome adventure.

A mere 400 metres from Old Town, the closest point of entry is the Colada de la Costa trailhead.

While the northeast section of the park is the road more travelled to see the Baelo Claudia ruins, in Bolonia, the southeast end offers accessibility, solitude and breathtaking views for hikers or runners.

The path takes advantage of an ancient drovers path still used to herd livestock from Tarifa to Algrecias. Indeed, my hike was halted as I was forced to circumnavigate cattle under a bridge right in my path. Having just finished the chapter detailing bullfighting in The Sun Also Rises — Hemingway’s words are haunting: “As long as a bull-fighter stays in his own terrain he is comparatively safe. Each time he enters into the terrain of the bull he is in great danger.”

A pair of hikers caught up with me while I was hesitating (and taking photos) and they deftly walked right through, ¡Son amistosos! The woman shouted back at me.

I eventually crested a hill which gave way to a view of every shade of the sea, segmented by blades of eroded rock called ‘flysches’, and a herd of cattle grazing in the sun.

I edged as close to the herd as I dared, then turned back. The

bull-frienders were making their way up the hill.

While I was not expecting to run alongside bulls, take my hiker friend’s word for it — the cattle were unperturbed and friendly, even.

Pre lunch sightseeing

A Sunday morning is optimal for a walk around Old Town — Tarifeño history comes into focus when the bustle is at bay. Aimless is the best way to

An Aperol spritz (made with Spanish Cava instead of Prosecco, of course) is refreshing enough to get pulled to Playa de Los Lances with the low tide.

Roll out the towel

The beach was no exception to the Sunday vibe in Tarifa — delightfully deserted. Though this spot on the Atlantic can get windy, we were lucky and it was just sun, not sand, in our eyes. As the evening drew nearer, we made the ten minute walk back to the hostel.

Two hostel-mates, surfers from Argentina, invited us to share a taxi with them to Chiringuito Waves bar, better known as just ‘Waves,’ where a live DJ spun records for the setting sun.

do it. In an hour’s stroll, you will happen upon beautiful tiled plazas, church façades draped in blooming Bougainvillaea and street art of the evil eye. We ventured south and glimpsed Morocco from the steps of the Torre del Miramar, the Castilian tower constructed in the mid fifteenth century.

If your stroll takes you back north, stop for a drink at Bossa, the bar which shares a wall with the emblematic Old Town entrance, Puerto de Jerez, built during the Nasrid reign in the thirteenth century. Old school and, on a Sunday, uncrowded, Bossa is great for a card game, a little reading or a mid-day chat.

A 15 minute drive out of town, Waves is the culmination of Tarifa’s kitesurfing spirit. The dirt road entrance is lined with camper vans and wetsuits on washing lines.

Tucked under a pergola, the bar looks out onto the expansive north end of Playa Los Lances, where kites pepper the sky.

To the south, the buildings of Old Town jut out into the Atlantic, looking pink in the dusk like the extended body of one of Picasso’s Demoiselles d’Avignon. Whether it is a fun way to unwind after a day of kitesurfing, a precursor to your night out or the closing act of a day well spent, Waves is worth the excursion.

After a dip in the warm waters as the last windsurfers skated to shore, we headed for an early night, with a morning bus home at 9am.

Masks off

THE need to wear facemasks in hospitals and health centres could soon be scrapped - more than three years after the pandemic started. Currently, the face coverings must still be worn in hospitals and doctors surgeries, care homes and pharmacies.

But now Health Minister Jose Miñones has said that the board that brings together Spain’s regional health systems would be meeting at the end of this month to debate whether or not to scrap the requirements. It is thought the mandatory use of masks may become a ‘recommendation’.

Wasted time

MORE than 11 million primary care appointments have been missed in the past year when patients failed to turn up.

The El Pais newspaper has made the calculation on figures supplied by regional health authorities. It says the actual total is higher because five regions (Asturias, the Canary Islands, Madrid, the Basque Country and Navarra) have not supplied data, either because they do not monitor missed appointments or refused to provide information.

“At the management lev -

11 million doctor appointments missed in just a year

By Alex Trelinski

el, these figures reveal an inefficiency of the system and is a waste of a very valuable asset for the health system: namely the time of the doctors,” said the vice-president of the Spanish Society of Health Directors, Jon Guajardo. “We need to work on better education to tell citizens that each person who

Revolutionary scanner

A NEW x-ray scanner that cuts radioactive emissions by up to 85% is being used for the first time in a Spanish public hospital. The unit costing €720,000 has been installed at Valencia's Doctor Peset University Hospital and operates vertically which means full-body x-rays are conducted while patients stand. It will be used for the treatment and planning of surgeries in adults and children with musculo-skeletal problems involving mainly the spine, hip, knee and ankle.

does not show up should be aware that they are reducing another patient’s chances to see a doctor.” said SEMG president, Pilar Rodriquez Leto. The differences in absenteeism between regions range from the lowest range from 2% through 10% in the highest which include Aragon and Murcia, though those are said to be approximate ‘internal estimates’.

Andalucia saw 3.3 million consultations (7.2% of its total) missed with the family doctor and 643,000 pediatric appointments (9.6%) also missed.

The Valencian Community said no-shows for family medicine appointments stood at 3.8% of all bookings but gave no figures for pediatricians. Percentages in the Balearic Islands were 4.7% for doctors and 4.6% for pediatricians.

No-shows

The Spanish Society of General and Family Physicians(SEMG) has investigated the no-shows via

a survey based on a small sample of patients. They say that two-thirds of males make up non-ap -

pearances along with people aged 65 and undermostly prompted by work reasons.

Just hanging

A MASSIVE snake of 15 kg which was rolled up on a tree has been rescued by firefighters in Barcelona’s district of Les Corts.

Last call

A PASSENGER who was late for his flight desperately forced his way to the end of the disconnected jet bridge and clumsily jumped onto the tarmac in Malaga airport.

Big deal

HUNDREDS of half-naked people queued outside two Desigual shops as the brand gave away two free items for the first 100 customers coming in underwear in Madrid.

O P

RESS

CITY OF CHEATS

Catalunya dominates list for having the most unfaithful towns

IF you suspect your romantic partner may be susceptible to a bit of illicit hanky panky, avoid living in Catalunya.

A list of the ‘most unfaithful’ places in Spain not only gives the top three spots to Catalan towns, but the region dominates the score of shame with seven municipalities in the top 20.

By Cristina Hodgson

The stats for cheating partners comes from online dating forum Ashley Madison, which advertises itself as a platform that ‘caters to the needs of married people and/ or couples who are looking to add some spice to their rela-

Slithery surprise

A LARGE snake has come as a big surprise for a Rota homeowner, who found the reptile slithering around the patio of his house. The reptile, identified as an adult horseshoe whip snake over one metre in length, was successfully captured unharmed by the police and returned to its natural habitat.

These snakes are slender, shy and fast moving and will defend themselves by biting, but are not poisonous.

tionships and have extramarital affairs’. The ranking shows the cities

with the highest concentration of cheaters in relation to the population of each city. And the leading cities are Manresa - top of the list for the third year in a rowGirona and Barcelona, all three of them Catalan municipalities.

According to Christoph Kraemer from Ashley Madison: “One in four Spaniards would like to have a non-monoga-

mous relationship.

“Whether with their partner, alone, in open relationships or in a non-unbundled way, more and more people are changing monogamy for other types of relationships that give them more satisfaction and happiness.”

Toledo, which last year was not in the top 20, is now ranked as the fifth most unfaithful municipality.

Additionally, three of the top 20 most adulterous cities are on the Costa del Sol; Marbella (eighth), Malaga city (14th) and Fuengirola (17th), and over on the Costa Blanca, Valencia comes in 13th.

COPS hunting a man in Valencia who was part of a masked crew that raided a home were confronted by an African Lynx when they stormed his flat. But reports say that the caracal, to give it its proper name, far from being fierce turned out to be a scaredy cat when it spotted the officers.

As they subdued the robbery suspect the wild cat ran frightened in circles before taking refuge on top of a fridge. The species can reach up to 19 kilos in weight, is a nocturnal species and tends to be shy. The lynx was handed over to one of the detained man’s relatives.

HOLIDAY TIME!

WITH rising temperatures the summer holiday spirit takes over shoplifters - and their favourite targets change too. While the rest of the year sees cheeses and hams as the most stolen items, in summer the trend changes.

Instead, petty thieves target suntan lotions, condoms, alcoholic beverages, sun glasses and ice creams - €100 million’s worth each summer.