The Orbital June 2012 (series 26, issue 1)

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THE ORBITAL JUNE 2012

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THE OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER OF THE STUDENTS’ UNION ROYAL HOLLOWAY, UNIVERSITY OF LONDON

SURHUL announces £98k deficit Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief

The Students’ Union has announced a budget deficit of £98,464 for the academic year 2011-12, falling under heavy criticism for unrealistic budget planning. The figures, released shortly before the Annual General Meeting on 29 May, show that the actual balance fell far below the expected deficit of £23,383. The most significant failing was in the bars and entertainments branch of the

Students’ Union, which made £91,000 less profit than targeted, down by nearly £27,000 from last year. Historical data for income from the Students’ Union’s venues shows a steady decline year-byyear with fewer students purchasing alcohol on campus, a trend blamed on the availability of cheap alcohol off-campus in supermarkets and off licenses. In contrast with the trends, the projected income for the year was set continued page 3

IN NUMBERS

24,696

The total word count for this 32-page edition of The Orbital.

COMMENT P9: Welcome to East Berlin A satirical look at the security in place on campus for the Olympics.

ARTS P24: Summer round up A look at what’s on in London’s theatres over the summer months.

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The number of days the campus bank was shut for before being reopened.

FEATURES P18: Puzzles Try your hand at our sudokus, killer sudoku, crossword and wordsearch.

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The speed limit in mph on Egham Hill during the Olympics (see page 4).

LIFESTYLE P19: DIY Simon Rawlings gives his tips on how to save money and look cool this summer.

SPORTS & SOCS P29: Media Society An overview of the latest society to get ratified on campus.

SERIES 26

ISSUE 1


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The Orbital June 2012

The Board Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief

editor@theorbital.co.uk

Alex Pegler Deputy Editor

deputyeditor@theorbital.co.uk

Ramona Saigol News Editor

news@theorbital.co.uk

Stephen Atkinson Comment Editor

comment@theorbital.co.uk

Elinor Gittins Features Editor

features@theorbital.co.uk

Rebecca Hilsdon Arts Editor arts@theorbital.co.uk

o Inside this issue...

The Orbital is the official publication of the Students’ Union, Royal Holloway, University of London, and is run entirely by an elected board of students. The views expressed within are not necessarily those of the editorial board or of the Students’ Union. If you have any questions or want to write for us, send an email to getinvolved@theorbital.co.uk, or contact the relevant section editor directly.

Shannon Mizzi Sports & Socs Editor

sportsandsocs@theorbital.co.uk

James Griffen Web Editor

theorbital.co.uk

web@theorbital.co.uk

@theorbitalrhul

Zosia Edwards Art Director

facebook.com/ theorbital

art@theorbital.co.uk

Connor Partos Admin Director

admin@theorbital.co.uk

Sarah Honeycombe Executive Editor (VPComCam) sarah@theorbital.co.uk

From the Editor Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief I expect that you will, by now, have realised that you are holding a newspaper rather than a magazine. Surprise! It’s a very exciting time for us; the new editorial board has taken over, and after long discussions we decided to change from being a magazine to being a compact newspaper. We’ve also changed our Reviews section to an Arts section. It’s been a lot of hard work, but it’s paid off and we’re all very proud of it. Hopefully you’ll like it too! As we reach the end of term, we say our goodbyes to this year’s editorial board. It’s been a brilliant year, and I want to give my sincere thanks to everybody who has made The Orbital brilliant — board members and contributors alike. We also say goodbye to our Vice President (Communications and Campaigns), Sarah

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Honeycombe. Neither The Orbital nor Insanity Radio would be where they are today without her. She’s amazing, and will be sorely missed by everybody here. A huge thanks also goes to Beth Bridewell, who was the Editor until Christmas. She set up the publication for this year, and I just continued her brilliant work. I get to stay another year (thanks if you voted for me in the elections!), and I’m very much looking forward to the year ahead; It’s been a long year with many sleepless nights in the office frantically trying to get issues ready for print, but for some reason I’ve really enjoyed it. So, enjoy your summer, stay safe, and we’ll see you on the other side for our special Freshers’ edition in September! If you want to be a part of The Orbital and contribute to our Freshers’ edition, just drop us an email (see above).

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Students’ Union to open lettings agency

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College halts compulsory redundancies

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Teenagers injured in crash outside RHUL

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In response to: the totalitarianism of religion

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Should a trade union branch be set up at RHUL?

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Student abroad / Sabbatical columns

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SURHUL Summer Ball 2012 guide

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Boots Boots Boots / Bibas Hair & Beauty interviews

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Food: student survival guide

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Travel: heading to Malta this summer?

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A summer to remember, the student savvy way

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Reviews: Avengers Assemble, Dark Shadows, The Dictator...

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The man in black: refereeing in the spotlight


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Founder’s bedrooms to see £5m refit Ramona Saigol News Editor (2012-13) Founder’s will undergo extensive refurbishment over the summer as the College aims to provide new students moving into the halls in September with brand new facilities. The plans to invest £5million into the overhaul of the iconic building, renewing all 479 student bedrooms within the university’s oldest halls, were approved by English Heritage earlier in the year, with the aim to complete the renovation before the start of the new academic year in time for the influx of new students moving into the halls in September. The refurbishment will come

as part of a 12-year cyclical scheme, which aims to refresh the building every 12 years in order to maintain its quality and provide students with the best facilities. The changes will be taking place in three stages, the first of which will affect all the student bedrooms within the building. Plans of the changes were unveiled to students last month with a display in the Founder’s Dining Hall, providing a before and after picture of the rooms and protraying the projected outcome of the changes. The renovation plans include replacing the furniture, providing new fittings, replacing the floor coverings, redecorating the walls, and changing

Olympic torch to pass through Egham Dexter Perry The Olympic torch is due to pass through Egham in July during its 70-day tour across the UK, which started in May. During the journey, the torch will travel approximately 8,000 miles and is expected to come within 10 miles of 95% of the population. It will pass through Surrey on two occasions: once through Egham on 10 July as it travels south from Windsor, and another time on 20 July as it travels north through Guildford on the final leg to London. The flame will ba carried through Egham by six ‘truly inspirational’ torchbearers, and will start on the A30 Egham

bypass before passing through part of the High Street, then along Church Road, Station Road and Whitehall Lane before being taken onwards by car. Many residents have expressed concern as the torch misses many of the historical parts of Runnymede, but Richard Knight, proprietor of the Magna Carta Tea Rooms said: “It’s a good thing for the people, and it will obviously step up the Olympic feel for the area. “Obviously running the torch through here [Old Windsor] would be more significant than Egham High Street, but I’m very pleased it’s coming through the area and I think it will be a good day anyway.”

the layout in order to modernise the rooms and create a new atmosphere within the halls. The second and third phases of the refurbishment programme. which will refresh the pantries, washing facilities, hallways and stairwells has no confirmed date, and will take place once funding has been secured. The task to redecorate the rooms will begin on 11 June, and will take place throughout the summer vacation period. This announcement comes shortly after Royal Holloway campus secured the opportunity to act as a host village for the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games. With the facilities around The Hub accommodating the Olympic Rowers’ village

throughout the summer games, the university believe this summer to be a prime opportunity to concentrate on improving the Founder’s building at the other end of campus and bring its facilities in line with the other halls of accommodation. Professor Geoff Ward, Vice Principal (Students and Staff), said: “Work is being undertaken to refurbish the student rooms in Founder’s Building in order to ensure they offer good quality accommodation and value for money and also to ensure that the iconic building is maintained to a level in keeping with its Grade One listed status. “We have exhibited plans to students within Founder’s and worked closely with the local

SURHUL deficit continued from page 1

at nearly £220,000 — almost twice as much as the actual income for last year. As a result of the target being missed by a significant amount, the deficit was far larger than expected. The yearly budget and targets are discussed and agreed on by the Finance and Services Subcommittee and the Students’ Union Senior Management Team (SMT), before being approved by members of the Union at the Annual General Meeting each year. Because of this, many are blaming the SMT’s inaccurate estimates for the

deficit. Speaking at the AGM, the Students’ Union President, Daniel Cooper, spoke of how the problem did not lie with Sabbatical spending. He said: “On the student-led Sabbatical budgets ... for several years running, expenditure budgets have been underspent. “This year’s student-led budgets have been underspent by about £35,000 across the board.” Cooper went on to talk about how the Students’ Union plans to diversify its income, relying less on alcohol sales. The projected income from bars and entertain-

Heritage Officer to ensure the traditional appeal of Founder’s is retained while providing an attractive, comfortable place for students to stay whilst studying at Royal Holloway.” The new design proposals for the bedrooms received mixed reactions from many students when plans were displayed. In response to an invitation by the College for students’ opinions, one person wrote: “It looks like the rooms are going to lose what makes the unique – the lovely old furniture and character!” However, many reactions were positive with students interested in the proposals saying they looked forward to seeing the new rooms upon completion in September.

ments for the next academic year has been set at £117,023, just over the actual income last year. According to Cooper, this figure was decided on after they “used historic data, scrutinised and analysed it properly”. To supplement this, the College will be increasing the Students’ Union’s grant by 17% (approximately £120,000), giving a projected surplus of £9,299 for next year. The budget for the next academic year was passed by those present at the Annual General Meeting with no amendments, and can be found on the Students’ Union website.

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o Local disruption expected The Orbital June 2012

during Olympic Games Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief Surrey Police and Surrey County Council have warned local motorists to allow additional time for journeys in Runnymede during the Olympic period. Disruption will be caused by the Olympic Route Network and Paralympic Route Network, which will see a ‘Games Lane’ on the A30 Egham bypass in operation from 16 July for official vehicles only. The lane, which will be active between 6-9am and 2-4pm, are being created to allow athletes staying at the Olympic Village at Royal Holloway to travel to the Olympic venue at Eton Dorney, Buckinghamshire.

The police will also be enforcing a 30mph speed limit on Egham Hill, and there will be traffic lights at the Piggery Gate of Royal Holloway to allow official vehicles to access the secure area on campus. Parts of the Royal Holloway campus — most notably The Hub and the surrounding halls of accommodation — are being used to house the rowing and canoe sprint athletes for the duration of the games. Fencing has been erected on campus to secure these areas, which has been jokingly referred to by students as the ‘Berlin Wall’. The restrictions on campus will be in effect from 5 July, with full access restored in early September.

Photo: Julian Farmer

Celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee with us!

Beer And Cider Festival Monday 4th June 2012

Featuring a multitude of local guest Ales and Ciders.

Music Festival Tuesday 5th June 2012 Live music and barbecue.

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Students’ Union to open lettings agency David Lamb The Students’ Union will open its own letting agency called ‘U Let’ at the start of the next academic year. The decision has been made to combat the increase in offcampus housing problems reported by students over the past few years. The Union also reported that a survey indicated many students were dissatisfied with accommodation in the area, mainly due to cost and expereinces with agents and landlords. The service will work like other lettings agencies, with landlords signing up and U Let finding the tenants. Notably, the union states that students will not be charged for use of the service. U Let will work closely with the University of London Housing Services, and will use the ULU tenancy agreement. In

the event of any issues, students using the service will be able to speak to the SU Welfare Office with any complaints, as they would any other letting service. Katie Blow, Vice President (Education and Welfare), said: “U Let could be one of the most important and frankly brilliant things that the Students’ Union has ever done for student welfare. “It will have a huge impact on students’ lives and will force local estate agents and landlords to up their game, providing a fair and consistent service to our students.” It is currently unknown what the average price of rent will be, and how many landlords will sign up wth U Let. The service will have an office in Rialto staffed full time by a Fellow of the Association of Residential Letting Agents (ALRA), and the service will begin at the start of the next academic year.


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Photo: Julian Farmer

College halts compulsory redundancies Craig Gent Comment Editor (2011-12) After a year-long campaign of direct action by students at Royal Holloway, the College have announced that all compulsory redundancies are to be cancelled. Royal Holloway announced earlier in the term that there would be a halt to department closures and compulsories, and a commitment to putting money into expanding the library. This year’s ‘education campaign’ has been directed by SURHUL’s Education Assemblies, which have brought together students, elected SU officers, staff and Royal Holloway Anti-Cuts Alliance (RHACA). Education Assemblies have seen students, lecturers and

other staff coming together as to discuss their approach to cuts on campus. News broke in summer 2011 that courses and departments were set to be axed, with the added implication and discussion of compulsory redundancies. This year there have been stronger relations between SURHUL and RHACA, with the union backing more RHACA actions and Anti-Cuts Alliance members helping to promote Education Assemblies and the wider campaign in general. The open assemblies have initiated lobbies of the College Council, and lent its support to the high-profile occupation of the senior management corridor which was carried out in conjunction with the Novem-

ber 30th lecturers’ strike called by the Universities and Colleges Union (UCU). The occupation lasted 8 days before disbanding when High Court notices were issued on behalf of the senior management team. Aiming to raise awareness over the proposed cuts to departments such as Classics, Modern Languages and Computer Science, the RHACA said that they had also put pressure on management over issues such as wasteful spending and a failure to engage those affected by the proposed cuts and redundancies. These issues were highlighted in the ‘Principal’s Pledge’, drafted by the Education Assembly, which Principal Paul Layzell declined to sign. The Pledge asked the Principal to make

commitments to protecting Royal Holloway from for-profit businesses entering the higher education sector and halting the closure of courses. After the occupation, senior management warned activists against any future protests, which caused speculation over future consequences in light of the year-long court-enforced bans on protest attempted at Sheffield and Birmingham universities. The news has been welcomed by activists within both RHACA and the UCU branch. The UCU sent a statement to SURHUL thanking students for their constant campaigning and support, giving special praise to SURHUL President Daniel Cooper for his involvement at multiple levels.

Education activists have said that they will not be resting on their laurels, and are now demanding greater transparency, accountability and democracy in the university structures and processes which initiated the cuts. In particular, many sources have cited a desire to see greater student representation on College Council and other university decision-making forums. Activists are hoping that the results of this year’s campiagn will continue into the next academic year, after the Students’ Union committed to supporting direct action including occupations. A recent general meeting also passed policy to oppose all austerity measures, which indicates SURHUL will continue to work closely with

The next station is... Staines-upon-Thames? Luke Wright Staines has officially been renamed as Staines-uponThames in an attempt to boost the town’s image. In recent years, the town has been closely connected with Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Ali G, and it is hoped that the name change will ultimately help to sever the unfavourable link and attract more businesses for the town by promoting its locality to London. Members of the Surrey Council who are behind the name change say the town’s image has been in need of some

help for a while. Alex Tribick, chairman of the Spelthorne Business Forum defended the council saying: “The fact of the matter is there was a public consultation that returned with a two to one majority in favour of a change”. However, many locals think that the change is unlikely to change things, with many claiming the new name opens the town up to new jokes. Despite the controversy, the name was officially changed on Sunday 20 May, which was followed by a day of celebrations in the town on what was called ‘Staines-upon-Thames Day’.

Photo: Carl Henderson

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o Teenagers seriously injured in The Orbital June 2012

crash outside RHUL

Zosia Edwards Art Director (2012-13)

A boy and a girl suffered serious head injuries in a collision between two cars on Egham Hill (A30) on Saturday 19 May. At 4.30pm, their red Vauxhall Zafira collided with a blue Jaguar XJ outside Royal Holloway, seriously injuring the two teenagers who were in the back seats. The driver of the Jaguar suffered minor injuries, and Surrey Police shut the A30 between the Egham Hill roundabout and St Jude’s Road while emergency crews extracted the injured victims. Witnesses say that it appeared as if the red Vauxhall Zafira may have been clipped by the Jaguar as it was turning into the College’s main gates. The boy and girl were taken by the South East Coast Ambulance Service to St George’s Hospital in Tooting for treatment, and the driver of the Jaguar, a man in his 40s, was taken to St Peter’s Hospital, Chertsey. The girl has since been discharged, but the boy remains in hospital. Police believe that the pair were on their way to a sporting event at Royal Holloway when the collision occurred. Several students witnessed the crash and its dramatic aftermath, as ambulances, fire engines, police cars and campus security vehicles secured to the scene.

Tom, a third year at Royal Holloway, described seeing the road blocked off by police in both directions, with the footbridge and main entrance to the College taped off. He said: “It was clear that the Jaguar was completely destroyed, but it was difficult to see what state the Vauxhall was in as the fire and ambulance crews had blocked off the view with their vehicles. “There were two fire trucks, at least four ambulances and a lot of police. You could tell it was a serious incident.” The news of another traffic accident on Egham Hill has worried students, many of whom are already conscious of the safety issues with the A30. In March, 22-year-old Royal Holloway student Kayliegh Sugar was killed after being hit by a car on the same stretch of road. There is an ongoing campaign to improve safety on the road, with residents and students demanding a pedestrian crossing and a lower speed limit. Surrey County Council have announced that a temporary 30mph limit will be introduced during the Olympic Games, though it is unclear if this will become permanent. Surrey Police are appealing for anybody who witnessed the crash to call the Collision Investigation Unit on 01483 639922 quoting reference P12141541.

Photo: James Harrison

Students’ Union Police seek democracy inquiry distraction robbers Dan Garbutt Sports Officer (2011-12)

In response to the latest Emergency General Meeting held on 23 March, the Students’ Union recognised failings in its current motion of no confidence procedures. An inquiry into the latest MNC to be issued by the SU has been in process in the later part of this term. The panel of the inquiry identified key persons involved in the EGM and MNC process, including the proposering and op-

posing members, as well as the Union Chair and other key members considered involved through their contributions in the EGM. The inquiry has identified that key parts of the SURHUL Constitution and processes have failed or been negated. The panel also found that the procedures as they stand can be improved to become more dignified and fair for all those involved. A motion is set to go before the Executive Committee and the Annual General Meeting on 29 May.

Want to write for us? Send an email to getinvolved@theorbital.co.uk to find out more.

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Sam Noble

Surrey Police are asking members of the public to be vigilant after a two attempted distraction robberies in Egham on Sunday 27 May. Police are seeking two suspects in connection with the incidents, who are described as being white males in their 30s. The first incident occured at approximately 8.40am on Rowan Avenue, where a woman answered her door and was asked to retrieve a ball from her garden. After seeing the other man nearby, she refused. 20 minutes later, a man answered his front door

and was asked the same. While he left to look for the ball, the suspects entered his house and stole a wallet. Police believe that these incidents are connected to two similar attempted burglaries in Addlestone on Saturday 26 May. The suspects are said to have been targetting the elderly, so police are advising those with elderly neighbours to remain vigilant. These incidents come after other burglaries in Redhill on 22 May and in Egham Hythe and Shepperton on 20 May. Police have released e-fit images of the suspects from the Redhill incident, which can be found at surrey.police.uk.

New bookshop provider Joshua Baker

Royal Holloway have anounced that they are in the process of seeking a new provider for the College Bookshop. The decision came about after it was found that students were dissatisfied with the Student Administration Centre. The centre will be expanded to use all of the Crosslands Bungalow, which currently also houses the College Bookshop. College contacted four booksellers about the possibility of providing the service, including the current provider Weybridge Books, who declined the invitation. An announcement is expected to be made soon regarding the new provider.


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Queen Mary joins the Russell Group

Queen Mary, University of London has accepted an invitation to become a member of the Russell Group of universities and will be joining later this year in August 2012. The Russell Group has also extended offers to three other universities — Durham, York and Exeter — bringing the total number in the group to 24. Professor Simon Gaskell, Principal of QMUL, stated: “The invitation to join the Russell Group is a result of our achievements over the last decade, notably the considerable

QMUL save energy in ‘Switch Off’ campaign

A recent student energy saving campaign taking place at Queen Mary, University of London ended with two student halls of residence being crowned energy-saving champions. They were given the awards after managing to stop eight tonnes of CO2 from entering the atmosphere by cutting down on their use of energy throughout the Student Switch Off campaign period. Students managed to use 15% less energy in the 2011-12 academic year than those living on within the same halls in 2007-8, and overall energy usage dropped by an average of 4.2%, ultimately meaning stu-

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THELONDON CONNECTION

QMUL

improvement in research strength across a broad academic range, acknowledged in the 2008 RAE and the expansion in student numbers with steadily increasing entry standards.” Established in 1994 (not to be confused with the 1994 Group, of which RHUL is a member), the Russell Group is an association of the leading researchintensive universities with their focus on quality teaching and commitment to excellence.

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LSE

QMUL

dents managed to save enough energy to boil the water for 1.5 million cups of tea. The Student Switch Off campaign aimed to encourage students living in halls to save energy by using simple methods such as switching off lights. They have also provided training sessions, reminders to students with photo competitions, and visits throughout the year. Campaign Coordinator, Jesse Scharf, claimed that the campaign gained a positive reaction which could help them save money in the future, stating: “The amount of energy saved has been a real achievement by the students”.

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compiled by Ramona Saigol

LSE spends £78,000 on PR after Gaddafi scandal The London School of Economics spent approximately £78,000 on external public relations in order to improve the university’s reputation after the Gaddafi donation scandal that took place during last year. The controversial financial issue linking the LSE and Libya took place early in 2011, and led to the resignation of LSE Director Sir Howard Davies, ultimately damaging LSE’s finances and reputation. Minutes from a Development Committee meeting that took place in June last year stated that SGUL

a number of ‘generous gifts’ were given to the university in an attempt to cover the costs of the public relations consultants appointed after the Gaddafi issue came to light. Director of the Office of Development, Fiona Kirk, stated: “a total of circa £78,000 was raised through this thoughtful initiative, a figure which broadly matched the costs incurred.” The decision to seek external PR consultancy from the firm Powerscourt, whose previous clients include BP, was made early last year in March.

London Met considers alcohol ban on parts of campus London Metropolitan University have proposed banning the sale of alcohol on parts of its university campus due to ‘cultural sensitivity’. The Vice Chancellor of the University, Professor Malcolm Gillies, stated that drinking alcohol was an “immoral experience for a high percentage of our students”, as the background of students within the university has changed and 20% of current students

are Muslim. The Vice-President Student Affairs at the Federation of Student Islamic Societies (FOSIS), Alaa Alsamarrai stated: “Alcohol is a barrier to any Muslim students participating in Fresher’s events and often in society activities – so we’re in support of moves to have some alcohol-free zones and events”. However, he went on to comment that if students would like to drink, then they should be banned from doing so.

In other news: dinosaurs suffered from arthiritis Kyle Roberts

Photo: Simon Powell

According to research carried out by the University of Bristol, dinosaurs suffered from a condition very similar to arthiritis. This is the first time such a disease has been identified in such ancient fossilised reptiles. The disease was identified in the 150 million year old fossil of a pliosaurus, an eight metre long marine reptile. It would have had a head like a crocodile, a body like a whale and four flippers to propel it under water. Signs of degeneration similar to human arthritis were found on the pliosaurus’s twometre-long jaw bones. The left jaw joint was so eroded that the reptile’s jaw would

have been crooked. Evidence suggests that this particular animal was quite old, supporting the arthiritis theory. Bones in the skull were fused together in a way only seen in older animals, suggesting that the jaw damage would have been caused by the use of the jaw every day. The specimen dates from the Upper Jurassic and was found in Westbury, Wiltshire. It was held in the collections of the Bristol City Museum and Art Gallery, until Dr Judyth Sassoon (see left) chose to study it for her MSc research project. She identified the bone degeneration in the Pliosaurus’ jaw as a disease similar to human arthritis, comparing tthe reptile to an old lady with ar-

thritic hips. While this condition would undoubtedly have been painful, this pliosaus would have been able to carry on hunting, even if its jaw may have caused some pain. These reptiles would have been the top predators in the food chain, feeding on fish, squid and smaller marine reptiles. A functional jaw was vital for survival, as proven by the unhealed fracture in this pliosaur’s jaw where the bone had degenerated from the disease. The fact that it had not healed before the creature died indicates that this would most probably have caused its death. With a broken jaw, the reptile would not have been able to hunt and would have died of starvation.

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College update Awards night celebrates volunteering

Royal Holloway celebrated the hard work and dedication of its student volunteers at a special award ceremony on 28 May. The annual Community Action Volunteering Awards recognises the hours the students spend making a difference to the lives of others and to highlight the positive impact they have on the local community. Volunteering accreditation certificates were awarded to those who had given more than 30 hours to volunteering during the past year as well as

awards presented for individual categories. As the students collected their awards, they spoke of their joy at helping the community, from tutoring and mentoring, working with the elderly and disadvantaged to helping to spruce up the local area. Dr Terry Ryall, founding Chief Executive of V, the National Young Volunteers Service, was guest speaker for the night. She said she felt privileged to be at the awards and congratulated the volunteers on their

contributions. In the last academic year 700 new students at the College have signed up to become volunteers as well as 15 new community partners who have expressed an interest in benefitting from the students’ help in a range of projects and schemes. The Mayor of Runnymede, Councillor Linda Gillham, presented student Sophie Crockett-Chaves with the Mayor’s Cup for Student Volunteer of the Year.

After receiving the award Sophie said: “It was very unexpected but a fantastic honour. But it’s not just about me, we have a really enthusiastic student volunteering team and a great Community Action team which has provided me with the opportunity to get involved in so many rewarding projects. The volunteering has been so enjoyable and as well as making loads of new friends you get to engage with the local community and make a difference.”

Support & Advisory update: May / June

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t is hard to believe that it is the end of another academic year — it truly feels like only a short while since we were welcoming everyone in September! It has been a fantastic year for joint projects with the Students’ Union and Support and Advisory services, and we have made huge progress on lots of welfare and support based campaigns and ini-

tiatives. A few of the achievements we’re all very proud of this year include the Campus Watch branded Safe & Secure Day and ‘Kick Ass’ event, the Love Your Neighbour tea party, StressBusters, new community drop-ins, Speed (House)Mating, Keep Calm & Don’t Sign, the SSHH! bus promotion and so much more. None of these would have been possible without the

hard work and dedication by many individuals including the Students’ Union’s Vice President (Education and Welfare), Katie Blow. We owe an enormous debt of gratitude to her. As term draws to a close, many of you will be vacating your private sector accommodation. We are working with Runnymede Borough Council to make disposal of waste and recycling as easy as possible in

line with our intention to ‘Go Green’ at all times. We’re piloting community skips at the end of May and have mailed moving out information to over 700 student homes so you have all the information you need to hand. If you’ve not seen this, please have a look at our moving out information webpage and help us to continue being a good neighbour. Helen Groenendaal


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In the headlines

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In every issue, we print people’s views on issues that are being talked about. Interested in getting involved? Send an email to comment@theorbital.co.uk.

Welcome to East Berlin! Craig McVegas

Concrete walls, high security and a lack of consultation with the local population. Sound familiar? That’s right; the Olympics have come to Holloway! Now widely being dubbed ‘East Berlin’, the lower half of campus has been transformed into a Soviet-era settlement featuring its very own ‘Layzell Wall’. Royal Holloway is to become an ‘Olympic Village’ for the rowers and canoeists competing in the upcoming Games, which are already causing drawbacks for the local community. The A30 now has an ‘Olympics lane’ for use by Olympic athletes and officials, and it has recently been revealed that the lanes are being made available to sponsors such as McDonalds and Coca-Cola, as well as anyone rich enough to afford a VIP pass. Congestion on the A30 is already a major issue and the lanes have caused a stir in the local community with many people complaining over the lack of consultation. Likewise on campus, management seem to have once again neglected the College’s stakeholders – students, academics and staff – in discussing the negative impact of the Olympic Village

at RHUL. In addition to the gym and sports fields being inaccessible via campus, the blocking of the thoroughfare from the Hub through the forest will make it much harder for many disabled students to go about their business during summer. As security is set to be ramped up, with all students and staff expected to produce their papers – sorry, College cards – on demand, it seems the only thing missing from this Cold War time-warp is any hint of Glasnost. For all the propaganda about RHUL contributing to a ‘successful Games’, the undemocratic nature of the changes at Holloway, in a style so well-perfected by senior management, echoes the undemocratic nature of the Olympics as a whole. At a time of the sick, poor and vulnerable having their belts tightened for them, the Government managed to find over £9 billion of public money to put into staging the event, which is coming to London without anyone asking for it. Students will be pleased to know management at least opted not to contribute to seasonal exam-related anxiety by waiting until closer to the end of term before the barbed wire and towers are erected (probably).

Photo: Julian Farmer

Have you heard about the Sudan conflict? Sarah Hawkins

War still rages along the border of the newly created South Sudan. Due to this rise in violence, over a million people have fled to the Nuba Mountains in search of safety. But safety is far from what the area has provided. The area is being held by the Sudan People’s Liberation Army and is regularly bombed by aircrafts operated by the forces of the Sudanese Government. Fur-

thermore, a number of the workers from the area have stated that the approach of the rainy season will cause further problems by making the roads into the area impassable, consequentially sealing the people off from outside help. The fighting that has forced tens of thousands of people to flee their homes also make the children face an increased risk of death, injury and recruitment by armed groups. No child is safe in Sudan. All are at risk of being

sucked into the conflict by being recruited into child armies. The best chance these children have is to stay in education. Jon Cunliffe, Save the Children’s Country Director in South Sudan, has stated that “keeping children in school during conflict is one of the best ways to protect them, and reduces the fear and uncertainty they face. Education gives children the chance of a future beyond conflict”. Maybe this article is shocking to you. Perhaps it

will make you pause for a minute or two to think. But what can we do about it? I propose three things we can do for Sudan. They are as follows: 1. Write to your local MP or even to David Cameron himself, insisting they do something about the genocide. Experts on US policy on Sudan have said that personalised letters are one of the best forms of action we can take! 2. Support organisations petitioning for an end to the genocide in Sudan:

ENOUGH project and the Genocide Intervention Network (GIN) are both working to reach an end to the conflict. 3. Support projects that support Sudan: Save the Children has been instrumental in aiding Sudanese people who suffered during the civil war, and in bringing slaves and abductees back to their villages of origin. So there you have it. Three ways in which we can stand up to take action. So will you?

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o The UK is in Europe — deal with it The Orbital June 2012

Jason Michalski

The Eurovision song contest this week throws into stark relief the UK’s strange relationship with Europe. Since arriving in the UK from Germany last September I have repeatedly been confronted with the awkward stance British people take towards the rest of Europe. Many of my British friends refer to “the Europeans” or the “continent” whenever they talk about the rest of Europe, which strikes me as just odd. Whichever way you look at it, the United Kingdom is clearly a part of Europe. Geographically speaking, it is separated by only 34 kilometres (21 miles) of sea from France and classified as part of the European continent.

Historically and culturally the UK is just as distinct from Europe as any country on the mainland, and just as wrapped up in its historical lineage as well, whether we are talking about the origins of the English language or the family tree of the Royal family. Politically and economically the UK sacrificed ultimate autonomy with the birth of the European Union along with 26 other member states back in the 1970s. Although it never joined the Eurozone, it is as dependent on the economic welfare of the Union as any other member and has, in return, benefited from the greater opportunities, trade freedom and market protection. This has been harshly underlined by the UK’s recent slide back into

recession at a time when the Eurozone is grappling with Greece’s economic fiasco and other members like Ireland, Spain and Italy are on the brink of disaster themselves. Throughout all this the British remain unsure of how European they are. They still hail their pound sterling as a fierce symbol of independence and a faded image of prosperity. Yet David Cameron celebrates lavishly next to an awestruck Angela Merkel at the Champion’s League Final. The Labour Party has recently criticised the British government as having become a bystander to events in Europe. In my opinion the whole of Britain needs to wake up to the fact that it is in Europe and act accordingly.

Photo: Dayna Batema

Photo: Photo: IraDayna Gelb Batema

Trafficking on our doorstep Anna Strain

It’s easy to think that slavery is something of the past, that when the abolition of the slave trade was passed in 1807, slavery became something to be studied in history lessons as a feature of ‘olden times’. However, over two hundred years later and there are 2.7 million slaves in the world. That’s more slaves than ever before in history. It may be illegal to sell slaves, but the practice is certainly

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not extinct. This trade is more commonly referred to as ‘human trafficking’, the buying and selling of people. Men, women and children are taken from their homes and sold. This can be through force, a harrowing echo of the treatment of slaves from the West African Coast as a part of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. Often, however, more subtle forms of persuasion will be used. Traffickers offer the victims a life they could only dream of, of fame

and fortune; a far cry from the poverty that they often live in. Trafficking is on our doorstep, and it is our duty to stand up and take action. One of the major features of human trafficking is the stripping of the victim of their identity. Rather than being a person, they become a piece of meat. Therefore the response to this challenge should focus on dignifying the individual. Consequently, one way students at Royal Holloway have chosen to respond is through a

drama-dance piece called ‘They’re Worth It Too’. The piece follows the story of one girl, one of the millions who are trafficked to places all over the world. The drama aims to make the numbers personal and reminds us that whilst the message of the world tells us: ‘you’re worth it’, actually, ‘they’re worth it too’. The event will also present practical ways in which we can combat this most evil trade, and is on 5th June at St John’s Church, Egham. Check out ‘They’re

Worth It Too’ on facebook for details. However, more important than that is having an awareness of trafficking, and making life choices to combat this. Fair trade is an excellent way of ensuring producers are treated in humane conditions, and the product is traffick-free. There are lots of anti-trafficking campaigns including ‘Stop the Traffik’, ‘the A21 campaign’ and ‘Amnesty international’. So sign up, stand up, and help change the world, today.


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inresponse In our March issue, we printed an article from a contributor arguing his views on religion. You can read the original article online at theorbital.co.uk/paper-edition/ We always enjoy reading responses to articles, and aim to print them where possible. If you have strong feelings about an article that has been printed, send an email to comment@theorbital.co.uk.

James Bunyan

In his recent article “The Totalitarianism of Religion”, Jordan Wilson argued, with a remarkable degree of passion, not only that “we do not need [religion],” but that this “evil, mindrotting nonsense” is dangerous as it restricts freedom. Yet it seems to me that the underlying assumption in this critique is not a matter of relevance or restriction, but of truth; indeed, surely any belief, if untrue, is irrelevant at best and destructive at worst. Permit me to invoke the example of Christianity, which I use as it is the faith I am most familiar with. Now if what the Bible says is true, then there can be nothing more relevant than the person of Jesus Christ, who alone can rescue mankind from sin, death and judgement. Certainly, it will only become redundant once humans stop sinning and stop dying, neither of which seem to be activities we as a species are capable of abandoning. If anything, the incredible technological and

social progress humanity has made has merely further facilitated man’s unending capacity to commit atrocities against one another. Conversely, if what the Bible says is nothing more than a cleverly constructed lie, then naturally are its claims irrelevant! This logic can be equally applied to the question of whether religion is “dictatorial”. To keep the same example, if Jesus of Nazareth was truthful when He claimed to be God come to die as a sacrifice for the sins of the world, and if He did rise from the dead, then what other reaction can man possibly have than to live in consistent and obedient service to Him? But if He was a liar, then He has no more right to command such devotion from billions of people throughout history than any other 1st Century Jewish peasant. It seems to me that complaining about the sovereignty of an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent God over His creation is about as productive as complaining that, if there are aliens, they might come and kill us

one day. I’d rather just discover if said aliens do exist. Unfortunately, Mr Wilson seems to have invited his readers to unblinkingly take the huge assumption of atheism, currently shared by 2.3% of the world’s population (according to the 2005 Encyclopedia Britannica). So why waste time bickering about whether religion is harmful, good, restricting, irrelevant, obsolete or merely nice? I think I’d rather devote my energies towards relentlessly scouring the various worldviews and belief systems, assessing any evidence or lack thereof, constantly challenging and attacking my own beliefs as I go because I gain nothing by being blissfully wrong. I’m certainly not a Christian because I need an emotional comfort blanket or because Sundays tend to be a little quiet at RHUL; I devote my life to Jesus Christ simply because I believe that He was telling the truth. And likewise would I encourage everyone I meet to unwaveringly pursue truth, as I personally consider apathy to be a terrible reason to go to hell.

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The Orbital June 2012

To wear or not to wear? Jeremy Stephens

In recent weeks, the debate about religious dress in the workplace has been reopened in Jordan. A Christian woman, Vivian Salameh, was dismissed from her position at the Dubai Islamic Bank because she refused to wear the headscarf recommended in the dress code set out by her Muslim employers. Having received two written warnings, Salameh refused to cover her hair on religious grounds and was subsequently fired. She has since filed a lawsuit against the bank for arbitrary dismissal. While this may be an isolated incident in Jordan, it provokes thought on whether it is right for employers to dictate dress codes for their employees on religious grounds, particularly when those employees follow a differ-

Photo: Özgür Mülazımoğlu

ent belief system. Should employees comply with the values of their companies? Or should companies adapt to allow for the beliefs of those in their employ? Salameh was required to dress in a way which satisfied the beliefs of her employers, and some might argue that it is right to comply with the values imposed by the society in which you find yourself. If the majority in a work place would find it offensive to see a woman without a headscarf covering her head, surely it would avoid conflict and resentment if this woman were to simply comply with the rules imposed by her employer and wear a headscarf? Even though she disagreed with the policy, it wouldn’t be particularly difficult to cover her hair for the time she was at work. Covering your hair at work in deference to the beliefs of your employers

may seem like a reasonable request to some, but to others, including Vivian Salameh, this is out of the question. Everyone has the right to practice their own religion but does this give them the right to impose this religion on others? Personally I believe that even in a country where the majority of the population follow one religion, the regulations of this belief system should not be enforced on those who do not subscribe to it. It should be possible for compromise and co-operation within the workplace on religious issues such as this. While France may have taken the concept of compromise to the next level with its ban on religious dress in school, I still believe that it is possible to foster a sense of community within the workplace without forcing people to wear or not to wear symbols of belief.

Britain (or the world) is running out of talent Ethan Lawrence

Matt Cardle, winner of X Factor 2010, has been dumped by his record label after a disappointing album and pathetic chart positions, forever to become an ignored footnote in the annals of time, a poor gentle soul chewed up and spat out by the music industry after ‘winning’ Simon Cowell’s circus of death. This is typical of the industry today where there appears to be no more heroes. Every-

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one wants their fifteen seconds of fame. This is the problem with today’s ‘talent shows’. The X Factor, The Voice and Britain’s Got Talent, whilst ostensibly claiming that they are producing ‘stars’, are in reality producing nothing more than farts. And as each new product off the glittering conveyor belt of show business is rubbed in our faces by Cowell and co, what is left of truly individual, unique talent is lost into the ever expanding whirlpool of production.

Since winners of Britain’s Got Talent Diversity became so popular, each time another street-dancing facsimile is wheeled out to caper for my amusement another brain cell dies. Dog acts are also fairly endemic, with every new season producing another lady with terrible social skills who has trained a mutt to walk like a man. Perhaps since one has now won we can put that particular brand of unnatural behaviour to bed. But the biggest problem

for me is the homogenisation of the human voice. I think most people will agree that a transatlantic wibbly wobbly voice that quivers from note to note like an indecisive suicide on a cliff is what is considered ‘good’ at the minute. However since it’s the standard voice that is now adopted by literally everyone any interpretation of quality is meaningless. Surely there must be something wrong with a world where every single performer sounds exactly the same.

Matt Cardle is yet another casualty of the popindustry’s madness. The parameters of what constitutes talent have sped up. Every musical revolution lasts five minutes. In the first thirty seconds everyone agrees that it is A GOOD THING. The next four minutes thirty is where everyone attempts to copy it. And by that time the world has collectively moved on to its next fad. In such a world, there can be no superstars. Stars need time to burn.


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Should a trade union branch be set up at SURHUL? Jamie Green VPComCam (2012-13)

The weekend is not a Godgiven right. Nor are bank holidays, the eight hour working day or the minimum wage. In order to get these things, people have had to fight long and hard for them. It has been trade unions that have traditionally been the way of fighting against unfair, illegal or unethical practices in the workplace. The question is: Should a trade union branch be set up at SURHUL? Many students need to work in order to maintain a reasonable standard of living whilst at university. The difficult economic climate has made student living harder than ever before. In fact, a study has shown that the amount of students entering the job market between 1996 and 2006 grew by 50% whereby students

now make up 40% of the hospitality industry, according to a study by TUC. The problem? Students can only offer part-time labour and usually work in places with a high employment turnover. So the ball is in the employers’ court; they are in a position to take advantage and possibly offer unethical practices. I assume some of you reading this can empathise having possibly worked under bad conditions; I know I have in the past. For example, several large coffee shop chains have allegedly paid below the national minimum wage and topped up wages with tips. I once worked for a company who logged my hours incorrectly meaning I wasn’t being paid fully for my labour. However, when I approached them it was my word against theirs meaning I was essentially doomed to lose that argument. In hindsight, being a

member of a union would have helped. Joining a trade union could be beneficial to student workers in that they offer protection from such ill practices. In a union, the employees are a collective unit. Individual grievances are not a matter of the individual having to argue with the employer, but the employer having to argue with the entire branch. Overall, I see trade unions as offering empowerment to student workers. It means that employees can collectively campaign to attain better rights. I believe setting up a GMB branch at SURHUL would be a fantastic and progressive way of helping students who are mistreated in their workplaces, because if history has taught us anything, it’s that better rights for workers are strengthened by workers demanding them collectively.

Does Dan Cooper care anymore? “Steve McQueen”

In last month’s General Meeting, current SURHUL President Daniel “The Lemon” Lemberger Cooper submitted a controversial motion to be discussed by the student body. The motion proposed that, in line with nations such as Finland and Brazil and other UK universities such as Cambridge and Oxford, the top level of Holloway Management (ie the Principal and the Senior Management Team) should be elected, as opposed to the “unelected [and] unaccountable” system currently in place. Whilst ostentatiously the motion would make Royal Holloway, University of London’s decision-making process more accurately reflect the views of the student body, an admirable

goal, the motion was quite clearly a poorly plagiarised copy of a UCL motion with the same aims. This is perhaps a good indicator of why UCL’s Students’ Union passed this motion when SURHUL voted overwhelmingly against its introduction. When initially submitted the motion stood to make Royal Holloway management subservient to the will of the UCLU student population and not our own. We would hope that this is quite obviously an oversight and simply reflects a lack of thought from those proposing it. However, this article further begs the question: does Dan Cooper care any more? With the end of his term on the horizon, and a new position awaiting him at the University of London Un-

ion and his political roles largely unmet as SURHUL President, it must be asked why The Lemon couldn’t find the time to make it slightly less obvious his motion wasn’t designed for us. General Meetings are already too long and too full of bureaucratic nonsense, it should be asked why SURHUL’s own President decided to add to the problems. We can only assume that next year ULU will be inundated with motions not designed for them either. This motion clearly reflected the lack of effort being put in by someone whose position is meant to represent the forefront of students’ views at this college and highlights his abuse of position to promote his own political ideals.

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From the section editor:

Don’t be a waster

Photo: Martin Kirkegaard

Stephen Atkinson Comment Editor (2012-13)

67 sandwiches, 101 bottles of fruit juice, 83 fizzy drinks, and 82 cakes and doughnuts. All in the bin. These are just some of the amounts of food and drink wasted on our campus in one fortnight. In our world the rich minority evidently acquires more than it can even consume, whilst the poor majority has too little to live on. In light of this concerning dichotomy, some students at Royal Holloway are undertaking an initiative to see less food and drink squandered to the litter bin and more of it redirected to those in need in our local community. Led by Susie Kumah, a second-year Comparative Literature student, students have been pressurising the catering team to cease the wastage of food. They are offering to take the unsold produce at the end of the day and work in partnership with the Besom, a charity organisation in the Runnymede district, to deliver it to the needy. Speaking to The Orbital, Susie Kumah revealed how the catering team were less than enthusiastic to begin with; “‘We’re not American; we don’t have the Good Samaritan Act. It’s impossible’,

they told me”. The Good Samaritan Act gives legal protection to organisations charitably giving away food to the poor, but only exists in America. But with unprecedented enthusiasm from the student body and therefore little effort needed from the catering team itself, it would be quite a tragedy for the university to miss this opportunity to give out to the community for fear of legal jeopardy. Thankfully due to continued pressure, the catering team is allowing a trial-run of the Food Recycling Programme, scheduled to happen at the end of this term. Systems like this are common in American universities but nothing like it is yet established in UK. It is therefore an excellent opportunity for Royal Holloway set an example in Britain. Kumah holds onto hope that “this prototype can encourage other unis to say: ‘Let’s model that’”. It is really wonderful to have the opportunity to work together to decrease the inequality in our society and serve the needs of the poor, because as Ghandi famously said: “There is enough in this world for everyone’s need but not enough for everyone’s greed.”

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The Orbital June 2012

Mel Gray, Germany In the years running up to my Period of Residence Abroad, all I ever thought about was the exciting aspects such as improving my language skills and meeting new people. Unfortunately I have not got to the fun part yet, and not once did I consider the insane amount of paperwork I would be dealing with. After speaking with fellow German studiers I became aware that no one had, and yet it is all anyone can currently think about, with the ‘urgent’ forms which don’t apply to you and the forms which they lost and had to be rewritten. It is terrifying as you

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don’t want to go abroad and realise something has messed up because you did not fill out the right forms. However, when succeeding in forgetting the tedious paperwork for a while, you can focus on something more exciting, like finding out which province (aka Bundesland) you will be in. I was told I will be in Nordrhein-Westfalen! You never know what you are going to get, and I got lucky! All my friends and family live there so I’m sorted. Others were not as lucky, with two of my friends having been put on the ‘waiting list’. I guess in

the end it doesn’t matter where you end up as long as you get a place. Either way, new adventures, travelling around Europe and visiting numerous locations in Germany await! That was one of the main reasons I decided to do the British Council Assistantship, as I only teach twelve hours a week giving a lot of free time to improve my German (of course), drink Kölsch-Kola and eat plenty of Döner and CURRYWURST! Well, they do say they want us to experience Germany! Now let’s just hope I don’t end up teaching some little Damian… You’ll find out next time if I’ve survived.

Student Through the year, we will be following four students on their year abroad. Each columnist will write in every other issue, and we’ll follow


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Phoebe Sephton, France The year abroad for language students is typically kept to the third year. However, for some of us that year just can’t come soon enough! For me, the chance to experience life abroad is something that I have dreamt about for so long that I have chosen to interrupt my studies for my second year, move to France and then return to Royal Holloway as a French with Music student the following September. This opportunity will allow me to enjoy true French culture and quickly develop my fluency in the language. Although before arriving in France I will be

t Abroad them right from their preparations in England, through their arrival abroad right up to when it’s time for them to come home.

put through my paces continuing to fill out application forms for a variety of placements, I am hoping to work for a community of adults that suffer from severe disabilities. My time at the centre will be split between becoming a friend to the residents and working alongside support staff and speech therapists. As with any new lifestyle, I am apprehensive about what lies ahead, but with the encouragement of friends and family I am eager to get started and incredibly excited for the upcoming opportunities. The ‘gap year’ is an opportunity that has been taken away from many stu-

dents due to the rising fees this year, but I feel lucky to have stumbled across the possibility of interrupting my studies. I can’t wait to experience what I believe to be ‘reality’ rather than student life, and for this reason the practical application of my subjects, and moving away from academia, will be a lifestyle choice. My aspirations are to experience what it is to be French through culture, lifestyle and language. I hope that through the coming year you will enjoy an insight into my journey and the challenges of losing the title of an English girl abroad.

Sabb Column

In your view Phonebox Phil John sent us this picture which he took in Staines-uponThames. He said: “I took this photo on my walk home from work in Staines. “As everyone’s seen a traditional red phonebox before, I decided to get in close and capture an abstract view of the box. “I like it because it’s not obvious straight away what it is, even though the red phonebox is such an iconic image.“ If you have a photo you’re proud of, contact us by sending an email to features@ theorbital.co.uk with ‘In Your View’ in the subject line.

Sarah Honeycombe, VPComCam I don’t think it’s quite hit me yet, but this is the last time I’ll ever be writing for The Orbital. After four years, it’s slightly odd to think that never again will I be up at 4am desperately trying to meet a word count and a deadline. Having spent the majority of those four years sitting on The Orbital’s editorial board, it would be remiss of me to not thank everyone who I’ve sat in the dark, dank (and very, very hot) office with. It was a pleasure. The Orbital is, once again, changing its style, format and direction. I hope you like it: I have no doubt this Board will make it work, and I’m looking forward to reading it next year, this time sitting on the sidelines

rather than trying to enforce a style guide. I’ve struggled to think of what to say for my last ever column. Firstly, though by no means lastly, I’m fairly convinced you’re not particularly interested in my self-important ramblings, but bear with me. I’ve been here a while, but I recently realised that I’d learned everything I needed to know about university by the Christmas of my first year. In a rather marvellous coincidence, I documented it all in my first ever column for The Orbital. I think it’s fairly appropriate for my last ever column to revisit my first one. If you remember anything whilst studying at Royal Holloway, it should be this:

• The delight in realising that you have very few contact hours fades when you realise how many essays you’ve been set. • While it is perfectly simple to write 2,000 words of bullshit, 3,000 or more is much harder. • If you have four essays due in a five day period, you need to have started them all more than a month in advance. • The student overdraft is a wonderful and necessary thing. • Orange juice goes a long way towards curing a hangover. • Attending two events in three days that have the term “house party” included in the title will cause bad things. Like kissing random strangers

and drinking more than is healthy. • Being at a place called “Insanity” may actually save you from the fate it refers to. • Medicine is, generally, always the best medicine. • School was genuinely as bad as I thought it was, and anyone who says “they were the best years of your life” is clearly talking out of their arse. University is better. • Tesco always feels much further away on the way back. • Tequila is better without salt and lime, but is a VERY BAD THING. But finally, as my last ever words for The Orbital, I just wanted to say... thank you. I’ve had a blast.

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9pm: Hannah Bowers

9.45pm: Stooshe (full live)

Hannah is the winner of the Students’ Union’s musical talent competition and will be playing on the main stage.

Stooshe are a girl-band and were signed at the end of 2011.

She is a Royal Holloway student and plays the guitar and piano, but also owns a ukelele and accordian! myspace.com/hannahbowersmusic

Their first official single, Love Me, peaked at number 5 Their new single, Black Heart, comes out on 17 June. www.stooshe.com

South Quad

1am: Zane Lowe

2.20am: DJ Yoda

Zane is from New Zealand, and presents BBC Radio 1’s evening show on Monday - Thursday each week playing alternative music.

DJ Yoda, real name Duncan Beiny, is a hip hop DJ known for using samples to create his unique effect.

He does DJ sets a some of the biggest clubs all over the world, from Sweden to Greece to Australia.

He appears regularly on BBC Radio 1, and has performed alongside the likes of Amy Winehouse, Mark Ronson, Lily Allen and Fatboy Slim.

www.zanelowe.com

www.djyoda.co.uk

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10.30pm: Jakwob (full live)

11.20pm: Sub Focus & MC ID

Jakwob is an up-andcoming dubstep DJ, who recently released his single Electrify.

Sub Focus is Nick Douwma’s stage name. He’s playing a DJ set, and is known for tracks such as Out the Blue and Splash.

He’s most well known for his remixes, which include a remix of Ellie Goulding’s Under the Sheets which was featured on BBC Radio 1 by Zane Lowe.

MC ID is Chris Hall’s stage name, and he’s going to be MCing. He often works with people like DJ Friction and Chase and Status. myspace.com/identifiable myspace.com/subfocus

www.jakwob.com

North Quad

hgkjhfkjhfkjhfkjhg

4am: Carwash

5am: Funky Divas

Carwash are a tribute to the 70s, and have been performing since 1993.

From Aretha to Beyonce, Tina Turner to Alanis Morissette, Chic to Destiny’s Child, the Funky Divas cover a huge variety of artists.

They’ve performed at practically every university, and have even played for Prince Charles! Look forward to lots of 70s funk with this six-piece band.

The divas return to the Summer Ball after being hugely popular last year, and are here to round off the night.

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o

The Orbital June 2012

RHUL wordsearch by Emma Clifton

Sudoku Fill in the grid so that the numbers 1 to 9 only appear once in 3x3 sector and only once on each line.

Normal

Excruciating

CROSSLANDS, FOUNDER’S, HUB, INSANITY, ORBITAL, ROYAL HOLLOWAY, STOOSHE, SUB FOCUS, YODA, ZANE

Simple crossword Across Generator 1. Famous sunken Sudoku liner (7) 4. Subdued (5) 7. Elderly relative (7) 8. Bread-raising agent (5) 9. Iguana or monitor (6) 12. Unclogs (8) 15. Last Russian tsar (8) 17. Shirked (6) 18. Enforce (payment) (5) 21. Street plan (4,3) 22. Aligned oneself (5) 23. Twirl (thumbs) (7)

Killer sudoku

http://sudokugenerator.com/killer/generator

NormalKILLER Sudoku rules apply, but the SUDOKU numbers within each dotted boundary must add up to MEDIUM the numbers indicated.

Down 1. Test drive (5,3) 2. Car safety cushion (3,3) 3. Yield (4) 4. Dockside (4) 5. Babyhood (7) 6. SMS, ... message (4) 10. One-on-one fights (5) 11. Too fat (5) 13. Set of symptoms (8) 14. Scuffed (shoes) (7) 16. Peril (6) 18. Wheat spikes (4) 19. Stomped (on) (4) 20. End (4) © sudokugenerator.com. For personal use only.

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Generate and solve Sudoku, Super Sudoku, Godoku, Samurai Sudoku and Killer Sudoku puzzles at sudokugenerator.com!


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DIY: Don’t invest your money in crap

Photo: Chris Bull

Simon Rawlings Lifestyle Editor (2012-13)

Wow, with one year already over I ponder what fashion tragedies we will witness the next. Perhaps ‘chilets’ (the individuals who grace campus in chinos and gilets) wearing real fur coats and spectacle frames without their lenses will be seen in the Founders dining hall in September, yet for the sake of humanity let’s hope not. On my strolls around campus I am happy to say I have seen a decline in those wearing murderous fur, however I’m quite positive this is due to the heat rather than an improvement in anyone’s morality. Perhaps in the summer break anyone who owns one of the many coats with real fur trims I’ve spotted on campus could find the time to put them in the bin, or maybe least have them couriered back to the wardrobe leading to Narnia

where they belong... As I write this article it doesn’t take the news to tell me that it’s the hottest day of the year which means one thing, it’s time to dust off our summer wardrobe! There’s nothing better than digging out your shorts, vests and flip-flops and locking away your jumpers until onset of autumn brings the back the chill and our scarves in turn. The summer months however can also be some of the most expensive too, with high-street stores releasing collections of new summer wear that’s not only massproduced but probably identical something you already own. It can be quite tempting to spend a few hundred pounds on clothes which in all honesty you don’t actually need. Now, I’m not suggesting you wear the same clothes year after year but I am suggesting that you should customise and edit

clothes that you already own giving them a new lease of life. Take the advice that Vivienne Westwood offers: don’t invest your money in ‘crap’ (take a read of her manifesto) meaning clothes that won’t last more than three washes and are made of anything but luxurious fabrics. Make your own clothes if you can or customise good quality clothing that you already own, in other words DIY... If you do want to buy a piece of clothing make sure choose well, it should last for years if not decades retaining both it’s quality and style. A simple example I have offered below should not only get you started with saving money but it will also make your clothes unique, this way you won’t bump into to somebody every ten minutes who owns the same t-shirt or pair of shorts as they too happened to raid the latest high street collec-

tion. My simple but effective summer fashion tip: go through your denim jeans collection and see if there are any that you have either grown out of or just don’t wear anymore. Now, you should see these pairs of jeans as a pair of twenty pound notes, that’s the average price a high street store will make you part with for a pair of mass produced denim shorts. All you have to do is put your old jeans on, mark with a pencil/chalk where you feel they fall comfortably just below your knee and once you’ve taken them off cut on your marking ensuring both legs are of an equal length. Then finally all that’s left to do is turn up each leg equally so the length of each is just above your knee (stitch in place if you wish). Hey presto, you have a pair of shorts which no-one else in the entire world owns and

it didn’t cost you a penny! If you’re feeling adventurous you might want to try further customising your new shorts with a new statement button, countless amounts of unique accessories can be found in any good haberdasheries and vintage shops. Remember this summer that you don’t have you say hello to your overdraft to look on trend. With a similar philosophy to vintage clothing customising your clothes is not only a rewarding but also environmentally friendly, recycling your clothes will save the strain modern society put on cotton farming and the manufacturing of synthetic and man made fibres. Try setting the trends this summer rather than following what high street shops fill their window displays with, you might just be surprised with what you discover. Have a fantastic summer break!

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Model of the Month

The model:

Through the lens:

James Smith is 19, and he’s from Brighton. Not only is he a first year Spanish Language student at Royal Holloway, but also The Orbital’s debut model of the month! Chosen because of his impeccable facial bone structure and modern reinvention of the quiff, James shows that the Royal Holloway campus is teeming with fashion conscious students who possibly in the near future may be switching their day jobs for a career in modelling.

Gyan Gurung, Lifestyle’s resident photographer reflects on the shoot: “James had never done a photoshoot before, so it was a new experience for him. He got the hang of it quickly and we managed to get quite a few good shots. “Out of all of them, we chose this one because of how intense his eyes look; I found the simplicity of just having a portrait of his face combined with stripping the picture of its colour really draws your attention. “Besides, it really shows off his beautifully sculpted sleek hair!”

Have you got what it takes to be the next model of the month? Email lifestyle@theorbital.co.uk for more information, and your photo could be on this page!


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Boots Boots Boots Simon Rawlings Lifestyle Editor (2012-13)

Stepping inside this fashion oasis at the tip of Portobello Road, it’s not hard to understand why Claudia Vispi, the owner of Boots Boots Boots, has not only local celebrities as customers, but also design teams from well-known fashion labels such as Paul Smith. I manage to catch one of the busiest ladies in fashion for a brief interview about the vintage fashion industry, her shop and, of course, vintage clothing. Boots Boots Boots is a vintage treasure trove; just what exactly is it about vintage clothing that appeals to you most? The individuality and beauty that is captured in each garment, piece of footwear or accessory. It’s hard to miss the sheer number of shoes you have! How do you go about selecting these

Well that’s quite easy, pieces for your shop? Each piece has to charm there’s no comparison! me. I always remember that it’s about style, not fashion... Do you feel that vintage clothing is good for the Portobello Road is one of environment? It’s so good for the environthe most famous fashion districts in London. How ment in every way, not forexactly did the shop come getting the soul. It’s remoulding the past into something to be? A purely organic process, ever more beautiful. plus lots of hard work! We originally began by making Vintage clothing can ofbeautiful garments from vin- ten be seen as a style tage fabrics, and one thing most suited to winter. What would your advice led to another... My business partner Paul be to students who want Caren and I sell our vision to explore vintage clothwhere we feel appropriate, ing this summer? Go for beautiful vintage aiming to boast our individleather. Quality shoes, boots uality. and bags — they are always Who is your favourite the fashion solution! fashion designer and Finally, with the Olympics why? It has to be Vivienne West- being hosted in the UK wood because she is just bril- this year, do you feel vintage clothing is a way of liant! embracing the iconic clasHow would you describe sic British style? Classic, beautiful English the difference between vintage clothing and made vintage clothing will clothes that are produced always rule not just during the Olympics but after! in the present day?

Boots Boots Boots 282 Portobello Road London W10 5TE 020 8962 5625

Bibas Hair & Beauty Loren E. Held

Situated on Marchmont Street, Bibas Hair and Beauty is a salon that leaves every customer looking and feeling their best. Only a few stops from London Waterloo, Bibas is a newly discovered treasure for Royal Holloway students who are looking for a great hair cut in the big city that won’t leave their banks accounts in tears. I talk to Sue Pittman — the Salon Director — about Bibas, student hair styles and why a visit to this salon is well worth a ride on the train. What initially drew you to the hair dressing profession? Having an interest in fashion and wanting to make people both look and feel

good. It is a profession that is a female student. The baseever changing and enjoyable. line was in waves, an effect I had never seen before. When Has hairdressing always I asked how and where this been your passion? came about she replied that a Yes, and another creative friend had cut it with carpet hobby: cooking. scissors. I’ve also seen students In the huge sphere of hair who have used clippers for styles, who do you feel undercuts or have just got sets the trends: the hair- drunk and come up with dresser, the customer or something new. perhaps both? Trends are set by both Have you noticed any customers and hairdressers. fashion trends arisLondon Fashion Week is a ing in the students’ hair good example of trends that you have cut in recent are set for the months ahead months? Do you feel the by hairdressers, as well as younger generation set people always in the public trends or follow them? eye — celebrities for examWe generally find that ple. students can be quite reBut on the other hand, stu- served at first, and it takes dents short of money who some talking to get them to do a bit of DIY also come try new styles. Art students up with some quite creative generally are a bit more exstyles. perimental, but the majority Once, I cut the long hair of need persuading.

How does Bibas cater for students who might be on a budget? Bibas offers 30% off for your first visit. Then, students get a 15% discount on services after that. There is also free WiFi, freshly ground coffee and organic Aveda tea!

er a much better idea of what you want and if it is possible.

Finally, do you have any plans for Bibas’s future? Bibas is currently undergoing some refurbishment: the new Japanese Takara chairs are in place, and we are just finalising some colours for the shop front and interior. The Olympic Media CenCan you offer any advice to students who might tre will be located in Russell be contemplating a new Square, so we expect to be hairstyle this summer? Is quite busy with people from there anything to be cau- all over the world visiting and working in the area. tious of? If students are contemplating colouring, then let a professionally trained hairdresser do it. It will generally cost more to have it repaired if it goes wrong. Bibas Hair & Beauty If you see a style that you 76 Marchmont Street like in a picture, then take London the picture to a salon. Don’t WC1N 1AB think it is an uncool thing to 020 7837 9555 do. It will give the hairdress-

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o Student survival guide: The Orbital June 2012

Confessions of a Tomato and tuna bodybuilder: the stereotype

pasta bake

Photo: Ralph von der Heyden

This is a quick, simple and cheap meal that can serve 4 portions — enough to have some for lunch the next day! Ingredients: • 275g pasta • 45g tin tomato puree • 450ml milk • 185g tin tuna • 25g butter

• 325g tinned sweet corn • 150g grated cheese • A packet of Schwartz Tuna Napolitana mix • Fresh basil to garnish

Instructions: 1. Preheat the oven to 180C. 2. Boil the pasta in hot water. 3. Combine the packet of Tuna Napolitana Mix with the milk in a saucepan whilst the pasta is boiling. 4. Open the tin of tomato puree, add to the saucepan with the butter and bring to boil. The sauce should thicken. 5. Open the tin of tuna and drain it. Flake it up with a fork so the tuna isn’t lumpy, and stir into the sauce mix. 6. Drain the sweetcorn, then add to the sauce mix. 7. Drain the pasta when it is soft, then add to the sauce mix. 8. Put the pasta and sauce into an oven-proof dish, cover with the grated cheese and bake until goldenbrown.

Keeping Fit over the Summer Hayley Munt Everyone wants to get slim and stay slim when the sun arrives, as we all bare more flesh wearing less clothes. The best way to keep fit over the summer is to exercise in the morning before it gets too hot. This also energises you early to face the rest of the day. Use the great outdoors as a gym instead and stay active by walking, cycling, rounders, tennis, volleyball and swimming.

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As well as keeping active, it is important to do resistance training, including body weight exercises, to strengthen and tone your muscles. This will burn more calories for up to 38 hours post exercise, whereas activities such as walking only burn calories during the activity. It is pointless exercising if your diet is bad, so try to avoid sugary drinks and alcohol, remember that summer is the perfect time to eat lean meat, fresh vegetables and fruit!

Photo: Ed Fury

James Corbyn

Narcissism, arrogance, insecurity and an uncontrollable testosteronefuelled temperament; just a handful of the negative preconceived notions surrounding the ‘meat head’ bodybuilder of today. Simple-minded young men with nothing better to do than to waste away hours of their lives throwing around dumbbells and barbells in a vain attempt to add size and muscle definition to their physiques for the trivial aim of attracting as much attention as possible from a certain someone they might have their eye on. Not only do these men waste their time and physical efforts in such basal pursuits, they throw their hard earned cash down the drain by purchasing the latest and greatest supplements and super foods which

promise to give ever more astronomical and rapid gains in size and strength. Most pathetic of all, many of these men turn to the use of anabolic steroids or other substances simply to cheat their way to a desirable muscular physique. This narrow minded, uneducated and ignorant take on the hobby and lifestyle of bodybuilding could not be further from the truth. I am not denying that many young men take up the pursuit of bodybuilding in order to gain more attention from people they’re attracted to (this was one of the reasons why I originally entered into the sport), nor am I denying that many of these men also see the use of the latest supplement or other sports technology drug as a short cut to the physique which they long for. However, bodybuilding fundamentally represents a conscious effort by the

individual to realise ones’ maximal physical and mental potential. Indeed, bodybuilding is as much about mental integrity as it is about physical intensity, teaching the individual the valuable life lessons of hard work, dedication, consistency, sacrifice and of not simply saying that you are going to do something, but going out there and doing it! For me, bodybuilding represents a lifestyle choice which instills into the individual the virtues necessary for success in all walks of life and a desire for never stagnating self improvement; in the words of the great Arnold Schwarzenegger: “life is about continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer”, a lesson undoubtedly taken from his origins as a champion bodybuilder.


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Heading to Malta this summer? Alice Caubriere

Are you a student who devotes your holidays to parties, alcohol, tanning and nothing else? If yes, I guess you all immediately think about Ibiza, a sort of paradise on earth? Wrong! As students, most of us are financially stretched and holiday destinations such as Ibiza and the Greek Islands are far too expensive for our student budgets, with club tickets starting from €40, a price that not a lot of students are willing to spend. Luckily for us, Malta, a small island in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea provides a cheaper alternative. The island is similar to Ibiza but far cheaper, so it’s perfect for those who just want to party. Even though Ibiza will always hold the clubbing

crown, I suggest this alternative for those who have a party animal’s soul and a student budget. Paceville, the clubbing area of Malta, is without a doubt the place to spend your summer break this year. Last April I travelled with my friends to this party paradise with no expectations. Of course we all knew that it’s known for its crazy nightlife but we were far away from thinking that we would experience some of the best moments in our lives. When we arrived at 9p.m we were expecting some fresh air to recover from our journey. However, we got changed, retouched our makeup and took a cab to Paceville. Let’s just say fresh air is not exactly what we found... We were greeted by a crowd that boasted travellers from all over the world, alco-

hol in large quantities and a street full of buzzing clubs. This night set the tone for our short trip. We enjoyed our first night so much that each night thereafter we went out and headed for the dance floors of Paceville. Not long after arriving in Paceville you will encounter club promoters offering cheap and occasionally free drinks to passers by. This is the Malta spirit! However, Paceville is not Malta’s only attraction. There are also some lovely places. You can relax on the beach, in sea coves or visit historic Valetta and the authentic citadels like Mdina. This place is the perfect destination for a summer break, offering everything from the crazy atmosphere of the clubs to the beautiful landscapes and traditional architecture.

Photo: BroadAxe (Flickr)

Photo: Michel Agius

Interrail: an adventure and a half Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief

Interrail is a huge adventure, and gives you a sense of freedom that not many other holidays can. In a nutshell, you get a train ticket which is valid in 30 European countries. You get free travel on most standard trains in these countries for free, and you can get a bed on a night train for a small reservation fee. The best part is how little forward planning you have to do. In fact, we didn’t plan our trip at all. When we left Egham on the train, all we knew was the following: we

were going to take a train to Harwich, board a ferry for Holland and spend our first night in Amsterdam. Upon arrival in Amsterdam, we got out a rail map and decided where to go next. We never planned more than one city in advance, and we often didn’t know what country we were going to be in 48 hours later. When I tell people this, their first question is often: “But surely things go wrong!” In answer, yes they do, and for me that’s the fun part. You could plan every part of your holiday, you could see all sorts of amazing things and it could all go to plan, but to

me that’s a bit boring. To summarise, due to our lack of planning we ended up witnessing some guys we’d met get arrested for urinating on a beach, running into a gun smuggler (see lower-right), and managed to get from the east coast of Bulgaria to the west coast of France in just two days, arriving just three hours before our passes expired. Oh, and we travelled over 10,000km through 18 countries. I can’t properly explain the adventure that you can get out of Interrail in this small space, but raildude.com has a plethora of useful information.

Photos: Julian Farmer

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o Summer round up The Orbital June 2012

Rebecca Hilsdon Arts Editor (2012-13)

The sun has finally appeared and summer is well and truly on its way. What better way to fill these light nights than going to the theatre, cinema and exhibitions? Here is your Arts Editor’s round up of the best arts events taking place this Summer. Hever Castle, once the home of Anne Boleyn, is hosting its 25th annual theatre festival with events ranging from Opera to Jazz and Comedy to Tragedy in the setting of their award winning gardens. Bring a picnic and enjoy what the Castle has to offer. Ever thought about watching Hamlet in Lithuanian or perhaps The Merchant of Venice in Hebrew? Well head over to Shakespeare’s Globe before June 2nd for their Globe to Globe festi-

val. 37 plays are being performed in 37 languages by theatre companies from across the world and it is a great opportunity to hear the Bard’s words spoken like you’ve never heard them before. The usual Globe season returns on June 7th with a fittingly patriotic Henry V just in time for the Olympics. Mark Rylance will hopefully be adding to a ‘glorious summer’ too as the title role in Richard III. As the shops are stocked with Union Jack and imperial themed merchandise to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, The Royal Academy of Arts has also jumped on the monarchical bandwagon. It will be holding an exhibition entitled ‘The Queens Artists’ from the 25th May until the 12th of August. There will be never before seen portraits of the Queen,

as well as an exhibit about George III, who helped establish the Royal Academy in 1768. General admission tickets are just £3 to visit this world famous art gallery. If you hadn’t heard of it

before, the Prince Charles is a gem of a cinema. Tucked away between Leicester Square and China Town it shows classic films downstairs and new films on the upper floor. With plush chairs and an

intimate bar you’ll feel as if you’ve escaped into a secret world of the silver screen. They even have a request page on their website. Prices vary from £4 for members and between £6.50 £10 for non members.

The Maccabees are back with their outstanding album Given to the Wild which reached no. 4 in the UK Album Chart this year. The south London five piece are headlining on the NME/ Radio 1 Stage. Spector is a band whose popularity grown spectacularly since 2011. They have been classed as one the most exciting new bands this year by the NME. Their debut album Enjoy While It Lasts will be released on the 13th of August, featuring the key track Chevy Thunder. This is sure to become a catchy summer anthem. Also, who wouldn’t want to see five young lads dressed up as an alternative version of Duran Duran? The quintet’s dress code echoes the 1980’s nu romantic wave. Expect big round glasses, obnoxious shirts and eye catching suits. When listening to Tribes you can’t help but feel merry and carefree. Influenced by classic rock and roll pioneers such as The Rolling Stones,

you can clearly see that Tribes have followed in their footsteps with their catchy guitar riffs and lyrics. For this reason Tribes are a band that appeals to a wide audience, claiming in interviews that their fan base extends to the older generations. With Johnny Marr fleeing the flock, the Cribs are back with their new album In the Belly of the Brazen Beast. Recording with former Pixies and Nirvana producer Steve Albini, the Jarman brothers have gone for a more stripped back, raw sound on their latest release which will definitely translate into an amazing live show. What can be said about Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All (OFWGKTA) that has not been said already? They’re controversial. Expect the unexpected. Last year OFWGKTA were bottled off stage; it takes a lot of balls to come back after that, so Reading and Leeds must have made a positive impression!

Photo: Neil Alderney

Festival season is coming! Sara Hussein

It seems the British summer is swamped this year: with the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, the Olympic Games and the festival season approaching fast, we are in for quite a big summer. Reading and Leeds dominate the music scene with

Photo: Manny Moss

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their biggest line-up yet. With their last festival performance at Reading in the summer 1987, The Cure headline on the Main Stage on the Friday night. Kasabian make a return with their debut album Velociraptor! on the Saturday. Finally to top it off, after their sold out shows in Milton Keynes last year, Foo Fighters are ready

to make a return to Reading — a familiar festival for the boys — bringing the show to a close on Sunday night. But who else is worth seeing on the bill across this glorious Bank Holiday weekend? Earlier this year American post-hardcore band At the Drive-In reunited after they splitting up in 2001. After their appearances at Coachella and Lollapalooza, the band is ready to hit the UK for this exclusive festival slot on the Saturday night. Justice is an act you do not want to miss this year on the NME/Radio 1 stage. The French dance duo have experienced a positive start to the year with the release of their second album Audio. Video. Disco. Back in February, the band was part of this year’s NME Awards Tour, playing a lively show at Brixton Academy. Expect the same thing at Reading and Leeds on a grander scale: these Parisians have tricks up their sleeves.


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A summer to remember, the student savvy way.

Photo: Noah Katz

Leigh Dobson

OK, so whilst everyone else is going crazy over the Olympics or escaping the tourist trap by flying to some exotic location to get tanned and relax, you’re stuck in London attempting to dodge questions from tourists asking where the nearest McDonald’s is. Well, why not take advantage of both the summer, which is looking to be a hot one, and indulging in some low cost activities? 1) Get some theatre in your life! Whilst the West End is known to charge extortionate amounts for the best seats in the house, there is actually a much cheaper way to grab the good seats. Some shows will offer particular student rate tickets, others such as Wicked will do day seats for those willing to arrive early enough (but take it from someone who has sat outside the theatre from half 6 in the morning, the front row seats are totally worth it!), and some will give you discounted tickets on the day. But quite simply, if you don’t ask, you don’t get. Just

because a theatre doesn’t publicise the deals, it doesn’t mean the offers don’t exist. Ask at the ticket booth to get the best deals, but don’t forget your student card! Alternatively, West End Live (Saturday 23 June and Sunday 24 June) will be taking place in Trafalgar Square. A great chance to experience a range of musical snippets by the industry’s top performers, the event is completely free! A great atmosphere, great entertainment, what more could you ask for? 2) London has some of the nicest parks in the country, and you would be amazed at some of the things you can find hidden amongst them. Hampstead Heath, for example, has the most dazzling lido: perfect for a summer day dip after a picnic on the Heath. At only £4.70 for an adult ticket, you have both the coolness of the water and some of the best views of London. Even more central is the Serpentine lido, situated in Hyde Park, allowing you to combine shopping and a dip all in one day. 3) One of the best things to do in London (or Spain

if you ever get the chance), is to visit a summer open air cinema. There are locations across the country, from rooftops to Hampton Court palace. However, the smaller venues, in my opinion, have both better prices and a better atmosphere. Shoreditch and Kensington both play host to the rooftop club film nights, featuring both classics such as Breakfast at Tiffany’s as well as Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, there really is something for everyone. All for only £10! Bargain. 4) Host your own Olympics. OK OK, so I did start this piece by talking about avoiding the Olympics, but whilst most of us won’t be seeing the real athletes, creating a mini Olympics is both in keeping with current events and a lot of fun. You could even create your own sports, changing the shot put for the ‘waterbomb put’. Get all your friends together and see what you can think of. Or alternatively, have a huge water fight. Whatever works. 5) Got lots of free time? Well there are two ways to get top quality entertain-

ment for completely free; all it takes is a little research. Websites such as applausestore.com or the BBC website allow you to register for free tickets to watch filmings of many shows. How else did you think Graham Norton continually packed out his audience? These two websites are completely legitimate and reliable, but be wary of any sites that want to charge you: most TV stations give you the tickets free. The tickets are allocated on a first come first serve basis and you need to arrive at the TV studio early to guarantee entry, as they often give out more tickets than the audience needs. 6) If the uncertainty of getting into the studio bothers you, why not try a FREE comedy night? The Theatre Royal Stratford holds free comedy nights every Monday, as well as on the last Friday of every month. Wednesday evenings’ events are held at both the Comedy Café and Mirth Control. A quick Google search will give you all the info you need. 7) Friday night skate or a Sunday stroll. Why not try

something completely new? This summer skating craze has taken London by storm, and has led to a number of skating events across the capital. One such event, the Friday Night Skate, begins at 8pm, leaving from Hyde Park Corner and is open to all skaters able to stop, turn and control their speed on hills. The Sunday Stroll is a relaxed slow paced skate; the LFNS is faster, more technically demanding and may involve hills and sprints. For more info, see www.lfns.co.uk. 8) The Greenwich and Docklands Festival. Running from 21-30 June, the festival includes numerous events such as outdoor arts, theatre, dance, and more. Most of it is free! Situated in some of the borough’s most prominent sites, the festival is a yearly spectacle most definitely worth a visit. With a little research, you’ll soon be able to find many more activities. All it takes is Google! I challenge any one of you to attempt as many of these as you can and make summer 2012 the most amazing summer of your life!

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o

The Orbital June 2012

Clem’s Column Noises Off; Travelling Light

Film

Dark Shadows vs Avengers Assemble Sophie Waddy

Photo: Johann Persson

Clementine Salvi-Offer

Having suddenly indulged myself in yet another spending spree, I decided to spend as much time as possible in the theatre. The two contrasting shows on either side of the Thames, Noises Off and Travelling Light, were my plays of choice this week. The entertainment started straight away as I travelled across to London, with an inpromptu quiz posed by a jovial guard over the tannoy. After a short stroll, I finally arrived at the beautiful (but oh-so-posh) London Old Vic. I bought a ticket for Noises Off due to the reputation of the theatre rather than a knowledge of the play, although I was not to regret this decision. If the chaos of exams was not enough for you, why not come down and watch the messy lives of others while they struggle to stage a production in Michael Frayn’s play? For those of you involved in drama productions, come and see how much worse it could possibly get, and for the curious ones amongst you, Noises Off shows you what really goes on behind the red curtain! Through carefully orchestrated chaos, the story is told of a failing play, Nothing On!, going on a small provincial tour. We see an overview of the whole produc-

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tion from the first rehearsal to the final run. We can even relive the experiences of the backstage crew as the set is literally turned around for us to see. It had something for everybody: a theatrical miseen-abyme for the intellectuals, and hilarious situations for the those who appreciate humour. A special mention goes to Celia Imrie for a hilarious and entirely silent second act, and Jamie Glover for a spectacular fall down a set of stairs. But the London stage is not only preoccupied with making you laugh, it also gives a great occasion to relive more… historical moments. Across the Thames and the Waterloo Bridge lies the National Theatre. There, let Travelling Light by Nicolas Hytner enchant you with beautiful and poetic staging of the cinema’s very first debuts. Through a series of flashbacks about the making of a silent motion picture, Hytner shows us what it means to make a film and ultimately what human connections are made of; I was particularly touched by the inevitable love story between young hero Motl (Damien Molony) and his lovely assistant, Anna (Lauren O’Neil). This production is a beautiful piece of poetry combing speech and silence, comedy and sadness, to form an educative and heart warming piece.

They’re two of the most talked about films at the moment, but which is more worth your time and money: Marvel’s Avengers Assemble or Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows? I must admit I didn’t have high expectations when I went to see Avengers Assemble. I’m not really in to action films, and more to the point, had failed to see any of the five ‘prequels’ which have been building up to this film introducing each of the major characters: Iron man, The Incredible Hulk, Captain America and Thor. However, my housemate is a Marvel fanatic, so I was dragged along to see it on the opening night, arriving an hour early so that we could get in the queue. When fans began turning up dressed head-to-toe in Marvel merchandise, I started to feel completely out of my depth. Fortunately, it turned out that my lack of prior knowledge was no hindrance whatsoever to my understanding of the plot: these four heroes, alongside Hawkeye and Black Widow, have been called together to save the earth from the villain Loki and his army. Although the plot is simple, it is coherent, engaging, and held together by great acting, which can

be rare for this kind of action-heavy film. And whilst, yes, there are a lot of action scenes, they are brilliantly balanced with comedy and endearing character development, making this a film for newcomers as well as hardcore Marvel fans. In contrast, I’m a huge Tim Burton fan and was really looking forward to seeing his new film, Dark Shadows. It follows the adventures of a vampire, Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp), who is cursed by a witch and buried alive, waking up 200 years later in 1972. He then makes it his mission to befriend his descendants, restore their family home, and save their fishing business from witchturned-entrepreneur and arch-enemy Angelique. But

whilst the film fulfilled my Burton quirkiness quota and had excellent acting from Depp and Bonham Carter, it wasn’t overwhelming. The plot includes some hilarious scenes, but in between it drags, and is mostly preoccupied with filling in the various backstories. It results in a weird mix of stereotypical vampire genres: children’s film, soppy love story, and more adult horror, with a few ghosts and werewolves thrown in for good measure. The verdict: I’d say both films are worth a watch, but if you can only see one, make it Avengers Assemble. It’s set to become one of the highest-grossing films of all time, and you’ll want to see what all the fuss is about.

Image: Marvel Studios

Creative Writing

Articulus Pamela Carralero

The 2012 creative writing and poetic practice finalists are proud to present Royal Holloway’s new creative writing anthology, Articulus. Articulus is to be a collection of the finalists’ work that has emerged and evolved from their undergraduate

degree. Working in conjunction with Ward Wood Publishing, we aim for Articulus to be a yearly tradition that will give a professional space to new and contemporary voices, and will hopefully help each writer begin to create a platform for a future writing career. Celebrate with us by coming along to the launch of

Articulus’s website and the published anthology, which will come out later this year. The launch will take place on Monday 11 June at 5.30pm, and will be an evening of readings, food, and wine. The location is still to be determined, so if you are interested please contact Pamela.Carralero.2009@ live.rhul.ac.uk.


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COMMENT FEATURES LIFESTYLE ARTS 3-8

The Dictator Julian Farmer Editor-in-Chief

The Dictator is Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest film, and it’s a bit like marmite: you’ll either love it or hate it. If you are easily offended and don’t find distasteful jokes funny, then please don’t watch this. Don’t even read reviews of it. If you loved Borat and were a little bit disappointed by Brüno, then this is definitely a film for you. The film is about a dictator, funnily enough. Baron Cohen plays General Aladeen, a dictator whose character pokes fun at recently deceased tyrants such as Kim Jong-Il, Muammar Gaddafi and Saddam Hussein. He rules over the fictional Republic of Wadiya — shown on a map as being in North Africa — and is somewhat odd; he has a passion for strutting around with a huge entourage of

women, driving around in pimped out cars, and cuddles in bed at night. The first frame of the film set the tone for the rest of it, and immediately had the entire screen in laughter: a photo of the late Kim JongIl, the ex-leader of North Korea, captioned: “in loving memory”. Like in Borat, Baron Cohen has dived straight in and referenced current affairs, but this time he’s gone for the more current and contentious issues. With very little restraint. This makes it much more controversial, with Wadiya developing nuclear weapons to attack Israel whilst having the threat of air strikes from the USA and the UN hanging over their heads — sound familiar at all? The film also features some very racist and antisemitic jokes. They even go as far as featuring clips of

Music

Obama’s speeches (cutting them to make them sound relevant to Wadiya), and poke fun at Bin Laden and Kim Jong-Il. Some people might not appreciate the jokes about a nuclear threat against Israel, and others might not like Baron Cohen’s reference to the terrorist attacks on London (2005), New York (2001) and Munich (1972), but it’s the inappropriate jokes that are really the funniest. The reference to the Munich massacre was the one point where I did think: “Perhaps this is going a bit too far” — to sum it up, you see Aladeen playing a video game where the character knocks on a door marked “Israeli Olympic Team”, and then massacres some very stereotypically dressed Jews while they shout things like: “Oh vey!” After announcing publically that Wadiya’s nuclear

James Carrick

Lana Del Rey’s first album proper is the biggest selling of 2012 in the UK so far, with over 500,000 copies sold. But does quality match sales? Lead single Video Games must inevitably be mentioned first, a haunting ode to the eccentricities of a loving relationship. Del Rey’s voice, as on the rest of the album, is the attraction here: you cannot help but stop whatever you’re doing and listen whenever this song plays. Lyrically, the album is invariably pop-perverse; there are strong overtones of love, loss and despair, however

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program is very close to completion while failing to keep a straight face when claiming that it is for entirely peaceful purposes, Aladeen is forced to visit New York City and give a speech to the UN. The main plot of the film revolves around this visit, and shortly after arriving, he finds himself kidnapped. His attackers shave his beard off, making him instantly unrecognisable. They then place a lookalike in his place, with the aim of having the imposter sign a constitution to make Wadiya a democracy. Aladeen must infiltrate his own hotel in order to replace the imposter and avoid certain disaster for his dictatorship. What could possibly go wrong when he meets a feminist vegan woman who offers him a job in her independent shop which sells organic produce?

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The storyline is woefully predictable and the happenings aren’t even remotely plausable, but of course, that’s not what we’re watching the film for. I don’t think I or anybody else in the screen went five minutes without laughing. I can forsee many legal issues surrounding the film, with many celebrities such as Katy Perry being named; after saying that Aladeen replaced many English words with his own name in the Wadiyan dictionary, they say that she let him ‘Aladeen’ all over her face. So, my overall impressions: Hugely inappropriate? Yes. Tactless? Yes. Incredibly funny? Hell yes. The film did drag on a bit at the end, with the jokes becoming marginally less funny, but it’s hardly a killer. All in all, it’s 82 minutes of absolute silliness geared at incredibly immature people like me.

Emeli Sandé -

Our Version of Events

Lana Del Rey - Born To Die throughout the album Del Rey maintains an aloofness, despite often playing the classic role of the doomed femme fatale, from the golden age of Hollywood, something she maintains inspired the album. This trait is ultimately realised in standouttrack Million Dollar Man, in which one can imagine Del Rey singing in a seedy Hollywood club, consigned to her fate as the doomed lover. Born to Die is also as much mid-tempo as it is down tempo though, coupled with themes of hope and prosperity amongst the angst prevalent across the album. Tracks like National Anthem and Diet Mtn Dew are examples

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of this, with Off to the Races being the most interesting; the ultimate tribute to a co-dependent relationship, spun out over a beat that wouldn’t sound out of place in hip-hop. Then there are the bonus tracks, thrillingly disturbed and sublime all at once. Without You and Lucky Ones are album standouts, rare for bonus tracks on pop albums. In short, the album is beautiful; it has often been referred to as ‘Cinematic’ pop, which you will agree upon listening, with strings and synths dominating the excellent production. 2012 has certainly found an early contender for album of the year.

James Carrick

The second-best selling album of the year was Emeli Sandé’s debut. Having been around for several years behind the scenes as a songwriter, has Sandé’s album been worth the wait? In a word, yes. Opening track Heaven is thrilling; the antithesis of any pop song released in the last year, but still a hit upon release. Reminiscent of Massive Attack circa Unfinished Sympathy and 90’s dance, Sandé’s voice soars above the production. And what a voice: throughout the album, Sandé’s voice is huge, with a honeyed tone and vast amounts of power, but showing restraint in all the right areas. Another standout track is current single My Kind of Love, in which Sandé roars over neo-soul/RnB produc-

tion that she will be there for someone no matter what. The power of her voice really adds to the sentiment of this moving track. Other highlights include Mountainsm, previous hit single Next to Me, an uproarious ode to her partner, and surprisingly, her solo version of the Professor Green hit she featured on, Read All About It (Part III). Normally, this type of tracked feels rushed and tacked on in order to increase album sales, but Sandé has turned it into a uniquely moving track that manages to retain, if not build upon, the themes of the original version. In summary, Our Version of Events is an excellent album, somewhere between singersongwriter, Soul and RnB, in which Sandé’s booming voice and excellent lyricism warrant her place amongst the year’s best sellers.

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The Orbital June 2012

Museums

Royal River Zosia Edwards Art Director (2012-13)

Before I start, I’d like to say that I forgive you for already being bored of this whole Diamond Jubilee business. With the red, white and blue of the Union Flag plastered on everything from biscuit packets to Ma’amite jars, I completely understand why you may have had it up to here with royalty this year. As an antidote to this wall

to wall red, white and blue, I prescribe the Royal River exhibition, currently showing at the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich. This exhibition presents a visual history of the River Thames and its connections with the British monarchy. The Thames and the monarchy have shaped London’s history in undeniable and contrasting ways, and to see these influences interwoven in one exhibition is an expe-

rience not to be missed. An intricate panorama of the Thames on Lord Mayor’s day painted by Canaletto features prominently in the publicity posters, and the vast canvas does not fail to disappoint. Other paintings and engravings of the river show it full of fireworks and ships and life in a way that we never see it today. If for no other reason, you have to visit just to see the stuffed swan and to find out

what “Swan Upping” is, because I’m not telling you. It involves a ridiculously fancy outfit. And if you simply want to see pictures of people in funny outfits, this exhibition has them in abundance. The National Maritime Museum is easily reached by bus, train or DLR, and if you show your student ID card when purchasing your ticket for this exhibition, you only have to pay the concessions

price. The museum itself is worth devoting a day to for general exploration, but this exhibition is particularly inspiring and worth a visit this summer. Royal River: Power, Pageantry & the Thames is on at the National Maritime Museum until 9th September 2012. Adult £11, Concessions £9, Children £5

Greenwich Hospital from the north bank of the Thames, Canaletto, 1750 – 52. Copyright National Maritime Museum, London.

Games

Dear Esther Freddie Rayner

Developed by the indie games developer The Chinese Room, Dear Esther is set on a fictional island in the Hebrides. It delivers a bizarre and intriguing story in a unique way. Everything you find out comes through narration. These sudden bursts can be

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somewhat jarring when you have spent so long with the camera, facing beautifully rendered rubbish that litters the island. This gives you a sense of realism, even though you already know that you’re controlling a floating camera with a torch. The story, on the other hand, takes a lot of work to get through. Philosophical in nature, it discusses eve-

rything from British motorways to feeling alone, taking you on a journey through the island’s past and the protagonist’s existential crisis. This is all I can say about the plot, which makes it difficult to review as if I say any more it will ruin the story. Even so, it never feels like you have a complete picture of what is going on. The problem is that you never

know where it’s going to be coming from next. Although this encourages exploration, it also means there can be gigantic pauses between the story segments, which seem to have no link whatsoever. This gives it a tremendous replay value even if it’s just to get a clearer picture of the story. Dear Esther is very much an arty game. It really makes you think and regardless of

how many times you play through it, you always see something new. It’s available from Steam for £6.99 or direct from the developer’s webpage for $9.99. It’s roughly the price of a pack of cigarettes, so do yourselve a favour; if you do smoke, cut down and get Dear Esther. It makes you think, and what could be better?


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Media Society ratified at AGM Julian Farmer and Sarah Honeycombe

The Media Society was ratified at the Annual General Meeting on 29 May after failing to form under the Student Activities Committee. MediaSoc aims to form links between the student media outlets on campus, helping students interested in a career in media to find out more and form links with the industry. The society originally tried to be ratified under the SAC on 25 May, but was denied as its scope was deemed to be too wide and media orientated to fall under the Student Activities Department. As a result, society creator James Root and current Vice President (Communications and Campaigns) Sarah Honeycombe drafted

and submitted to the AGM a motion for the society to be formed under the VPComCam’s direction, running as a media entity alongside the SU’s media outlets. The motion faced no opposition after being proposed by the current VPComCam and the society’s creator and seconded by representatives for The Orbital, The Founder and Insanity Radio. No comment was raised at the General Meeting regarding the fact that the society’s constitution, now an appendix to the Constitution Proper, has a Grand Commissar, Grand Chief of Organisation and Finance Executive instead of President, Secretary and Treasurer respectively. James Root told The Orbital “I’m giddy with excitement of the possibilities now open to all students.” It aims to organise social

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#surhulagm Thomas Walpole @drcabl3

#surhulagm anyone calling formal on trivial motions will be shot.

events to bring the media outlets closer together and will also relieve some of the burden upon the boards of the individual outlets. It also hopes to host and run training events in the future for all streams of media, including radio broadcasting and journalism, in conjunction with entities such as the Radio Academy, National Student Television Association (NaSTA) and The Guardian’s student media arm. Speaking on the matter, Acting Grand Commissar Harry Angers said “I believe the ratification of the Media Society by the AGM was a great moment for the campus media outlets. It will help foster more links between not only the campus outlets, but also professional media organisations such as the SRA.”

Moose @cardboardmoose

This is @concrete_sky and her uterus’ last GM. That is an incredibly depressing thought. #surhulagm

Philip Nutter @philnutter

#surhulagm this is like a boring version of inception too many motions within motions within motions.

Moose @cardboardmoose

Laptop has finally died after 7 hours of faithful service. Phone tweeting, engage! #surhulagm

Eustace Quim @eeQuim

Love the consensus that all summer ball acts are objectively shit. #surhulagm

mayme @mediocreMayme

And, I am ready to stick pins in my eyes at 20.06, have I peaked too soon? #surhulagm

Philip Nutter @philnutter

#surhulagm YES! Privatise Rialto! I want a Subway on campus. It would be just like community!!

Katie B @SURHUL_EdWel

Lovely voiced Security Member causes a riot with the word ‘privatisation’ #surhulagm

Craig McVegas @craigmcvegas

Hang on, what? We’re now pro-accountability? #surhulagm

Absolute Harmony Leavers’ Concert Claire Trayner

Friday 25 May saw the return of the Absolute Harmony Leavers’ Concert, the final event of the year for one of Royal Holloway’s favourite choirs. The concert was held in St John’s Church in Egham, and the audience spent an evening listening to some of Absolute Harmony’s favourite songs from this year, as well as some from the archives! While every Absolute Harmony concert is jam packed with musical entertainment, the main purpose of this special event is to say goodbye to those members whose time with AbHarm (as we have lovingly nicknamed it) has come to an

end. To honour those leaving, the rest of the choir sung an emotional version of ‘Where Everybody Knows Your Name’ (the theme song from ‘Cheers’, arranged by future MD Tilak Patel) which had many a leaver in tears, myself included! Not ones to be left out, the leavers performed their own song (a surprise to most current members): a mash up (arranged by ex MD Tom Clague) of ‘It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday’ (Boys II Men), ‘You’ll Be in My Heart’ (Phil Collins) and ‘You Can Go Your Own Way’ (Fleetwood Mac). The evening also featured a performance of ‘Send Me On My Way’ (Rusted Root, arranged by

current MD Abbi Pilkington) by both this year’s and next year’s committees. As someone who has been in AbHarm for all of my years as a student at Royal Holloway, I thought the evening was not only one of our most successful concerts, but also a perfect send off. Absolute Harmony is not just a choir, but a society where true friendships are formed; Friendships which were musically celebrated on this night. If Absolute Harmony sounds like the kind of society you think you would enjoy joining next year, email absoluteharmony@yahoo. co.uk or go find them at the Freshers’ Fayre. It will honestly be one of the best decisions you will ever make!

Photo: Absolute Harmony

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The Orbital June 2012

The man in black: Refereeing in the Spotlight.

Alex Pegler Deputy Editor (2012-13)

Nobles Sports Field has seen many a great sporting spectacle down the years- from fiercely contested rugby finals to the blood and thunder of an RHUL Bears American Football game. With the pain and frustration of defeat and the ecstasy of victory often the foremost emotions, little thought is generally spared for the referee’s role in ensuring games don’t descend into chaos. Indeed the governing bodies of some sports have been forced into action to tackle an endemic lack of officials because of abuse from players and coaches. Such a lack of qualified referees has led to many of RHUL’s football matches not being overseen by neutral arbiters this season. This, states the Mens’ Football President 2012-13, has been to the detriment of the quality of matches. Ruairi O’Shea said: “Without qualified referees, matches just aren’t the same. It’s the most vital position on the pitch and a good ref can make or break a game.” Football’s custodians in Europe and England, the Union des Associations

Européennes de Football (UEFA) and The Football Association (FA) respectively, launched “Respect” Campaigns to try and reverse the stream of officials flooding away from the game. Such campaigns have seen high profile players strongly censured for their behaviour. High profile names such as Didier Drogba, Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson have amassed combined suspensions of 19 matches for their disrespectful attitudes towards officials in the past 3 years. The problem isn’t solely restricted to football. Even the sports in which match officials have traditionally been treated with deference are starting to witness a reduction in standards of game behaviour. The Rugby Football Union (RFU) recently banned Sale Sharks Boss Steve Diamond for 18 weeks for abusing international referee Wayne Barnes. Accompanying the ban, rugby’s governing body set out their stance on the importance of good conduct to officials at all times. The Chair of the disciplinary panel stated: “Referees are entitled to respect at all times, whether the final whistle has been

blown or not”. Whilst on the face of it the outlook for sports officiating in the UK isn’t exactly rosy, there are, according to the FA, reasons for encouragement. The organisation cites a 5 per cent increase in the total number of qualified referees from 2008, up to 27,000, and a reduction in incidents of dissent in the professional game as signs that its campaign is working. The FA is also keen to stress the huge opportunities that refereeing provides such as the chance to follow in the footsteps of Howard Webb. The Rotherhambased official represented England at the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Webb refereed the final, the pinnacle of football. He will lead a quintet of English officials at the upcoming Euro 2012 tournament, further indication of what can be achieved by taking up the whistle. So whenever you take to the hallowed turf that is Nobles, spare a thought for the man or (woman) in black or (green) who has sport’s most challenging role. Chances are if you leave the refereeing to him and keep the obscenities to a minimum, he might just

Photo: Chris Turner

give some decisions in your favour. To quote one former sports minister: “You have to respect the referee” for “he stands between the game

and chaos”. If you are interested in officiating in football matches at Royal Holloway, please contact football@su.rhul.ac.uk.

Golden night for clubs and societies at Laurel Awards Alex Pegler Deputy Editor (2012-13)

Sports Officer Dan Garbutt and Societies Federation Officer Amarbeer Singh were among the winners at the 2012 SURHUL Laurel awards. On Thursday 24 May, the Students’ Union’s Main Hall played host to an awards ceremony aimed at “recognising students and student staff who have contributed in an outstanding manner to the Students’ Union”. In addition to this, Laurel awards were given to mem-

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bers of staff at the College who had been nominated by students for their excellent teaching and positive contribution to students at Royal Holloway. The evening featured speeches on their year in office from the 2011-12 Sabbatical Officers. Daniel Lemberger Cooper, President, reflected on the success of the Anti-Cuts and Save Education Campaigns whilst Sarah Honeycombe, Vice President (Communications and Campaigns), talked about triumphs at Insanity Radio and The Orbit-

al. Katie Blow thanked those who had supported her in her year as Vice President (Education and Welfare). It was left to Jake Wells, Vice President (Student Activities) to present Laurel awards to Garbutt and Singh. Wells spoke glowingly about the Garbutt, saying that he had shown immense dedication in ensuring that all the sports clubs run smoothly. He also said that Garbutt had worked night and day to make sure the Students’ Union and College cater for the needs of the

sports clubs. Jake Wells went on to praise Garbutt for his work on the Students Activities Committee and the Sports Council. Finally, Wells spoke highly of Garbutt’s work to fight homophobia through his championing of the NUS Charter against discrimination in sports. Jake Wells was tasked with summing up Amarbeer Singh’s year as Societies Federation Officer. Wells spoke of the manner in which Singh has gone about fulfilling his responsibilities to the student populous. Wells said

that Singh had been a fantastic servant to the Students’ Union’s societies by ensuring that both the Students’ Union and College provide support and resources to the societies. Summing up the event, Simon Davidian, a member of the Democracy Sub Committee and first year Politics and International Relations student said: “The fact that the award winners were individuals such as Amarbeer Singh and Dan Garbutt is a tribute to the extraordinary example set by such dedicated members of our Union”.


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Photo: Jack Smale

Rugby season review Jack Smale Art Director (2011-12)

I doubt that any sports outfit on campus will admit to having had a ‘bad’ season… and the Rugby Club is no exception. At the Student Union’s Colours Ball, no less than five players were celebrated for their on-the-field performances: Dominic Matthews and James Isaacs were given Half Colours; Adam McCulloch and Andrew Wilkie received their Full Colours; and Anthony Kent was named Royal Holloway’s ‘Sportsman of the Year’. Earlier in the day, the club’s Annual President’s Fixture had taken place, where we won back the David Dundas trophy from the Old Boys, and that afternoon, England beat Ireland at Twickenham (on St. Pat-

rick’s Day, no less). But the biggest achievement of them all came as Men’s Rugby was named “Club of the Year”… and we haven’t shut up about it since! It’s no secret that the senior committee members put a lot of effort in to try and improve the image of the club, but no one seriously expected the trophy to come our way. As recently as last year, the Student’s Union imposed a ban on the club from all its premises following inappropriate (naked) behaviour at one of our socials. However, the award acknowledged the real progress that has been made off-the- pitch, and particular credit goes to Will Clark who organised, and got our boys involved in, local volunteering projects. Ironically though, the celebrations at the Col-

ours Ball were incredibly raucous (table dancing anyone?!), showing perhaps our social etiquette still has some way to go… The First XV started the season incredibly well, winning a pre-season tournament down in Brighton (against higher ranked opposition might I add), and their opening four games in BUCS South Eastern 2A. They also managed to get to the Quarter Finals of the South Eastern Conference cup, but suffered a humiliating loss at the hands of St. Mary’s Third XV, who brought in a few ringers from their Rugby League side to win the game using brute force! Thereafter, the season appeared to falter, with influential players such as Mark Wells and Mayowa Olonilua sidelined due to injury. Unfortunately, Head

Coach Anthony Andrews was also out of action for quite a long period, having suffered a devastating knee injury whilst playing for Championship Side London Scottish. Rather frustratingly, this meant most of his input could only come via Facebook and the side lacked leadership as the season drew to a close. However, in the very last game, the team pulled together and beat St. Mary’s Second XV 300, finishing a very respectable fourth place in the league. To say that the Second XV have struggled this season is an understatement. With a number of new players to the team who had never played rugby before, they struggled defensively and conceded far too many sloppy tries. But to their credit, they

kept battling on, and did manage to notch up a win against old foes Kingston Second XV. They would have had a second victory against Portsmouth University Fourth XV had the referee not stood in their way, but perhaps relegation will be the making of the side, as they look set to tear up BUCS South Eastern 5A next year. The future looks bright for the club, which is financially more stable than it ever has been before, and a fully subsidised kit sponsorship deal has already been agreed upon for next season. Last week, the club hosted an incredibly successful boat party, which capped off a memorable season perfectly, and I have great faith that the new committee will do a great job in forwarding the club next year.

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