The Orbital June 2011 (Issue 1)

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June 2011

RBITAL The

The Summer Ball Past, Present & Future

O TheOrbital O TheOrbital O The Orbital O The Orbital O The Orbital O The Orbital O TheOrbital O TheOrbital O The Orbital O The Orbital O TheOrb

The Big Story £9,000: “a tragedy” The Interview Commedy of Errors The Science Of Sunbathing The ‘Lad’ Test Smith Vs. Houghton

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Issue 1

Beth Bridewell, Editor

The Orbital. In the hands of a new board once again. You’ve probably noticed by now that we’ve had a play about with the design. The design doesn’t just reflect a new start, with a keen bunch of new editors, but also the vision for the next year. The Orbital is the publication of every single student at Royal Holloway, within our design we have attempted to reflect that.

Something a bit more mainstream, something for everyone.

The editorial vision in our eyes is pretty simple. We want a quality publication with unique content, relevant to the students here at Royal Holloway. Why read something in The Orbital that you could read somewhere else, probably better.

Everything we publish will be unique and tailor made to reflect a Holloway student. Of whatever description.

Not only have we had a tweak of the design, but also of our board structure. We’ve cut the titles ‘society’ and ‘culture’ and now have seven new categories, awaiting your involvement and your ideas. Student journalism isn’t about doing a bit of extra homework and having something to add to a portfolio.

It is about every student feeling inspired to write about something they find interesting, something they feel confident other people will appreciate reading.

In most editorials I’ve flicked through whilst being sat in the (newly tidied) orbital office, I’ve seen these next few cliched sentences. But I can’t stress them enough. We need more people to get involved, to make something truly representative of what students want to see and read. Whether you’re a photographer, a reviewer, or just a very opinionated person, get in touch. At the heart of The Orbital is the chance to learn something new and be inspired by other people. And let’s face it, that is the essence of university.

Beth Bridewell and the Editorial team

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The Orbital is the official Royal Holloway Students’ Union publication. The opinions published are not neccessarily that of the editorial board. If you would like to get in touch with us for any reason, or just to say hi, then contact one of the editors below: Editor Beth Bridewell editor@theorbital.co.uk News Emily Pressnell Comment Craig Gent Regulars Shannon Mizzi Lifestyle Elinor Gittens Reviews Rana Banna Online Julian Farmer Art Jack Smale Admin Clare Thomas Executive Editor Sarah Rahman

Contributors: Dave Cobb Chris Couch Joe Rennison Joe Rayment Christopher Hobbs Louise Quick Dan Woodruff Nick Stylianou Tom Parfitt Chris Pull Dalia Filippi Kate Hasslet Vicky Iglikowski Beatrice Galloway Gemma Cresswell Lauren Keen Ulrike Chawiche Oliver Parsons Georgia Coles-Riley Ced Yuen Imogen Nation Ben Hine Sophie Dand Dan Houghton Adam Smith

This issue would definitely have not happened if it wasn’t for Ben Parfitt. Thanks for doing everything and anything.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

In this issue...

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NEWS 04

SU News Aftermath of SU losses

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The Big Story Access Denied

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London Lowdown

COMMENT 10

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12 46 www.theorbital.co.uk

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Letter of the week College: Get your priorities right The Big Debate Should we defend the right to protest?

REGULARS 17

Have you met?

Our new bar manager.

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Main Feature Summer ball: past, present and future.

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The Science Of...

Tanning

REVIEWS 31

Music Gaga at Radio 1’s big weekend

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Theatre Comedy of Errors interview

LIFESTYLE

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Fashion forecast

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Travel Graduating? Have a gap yah!

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Listings What’s happening in and around Egham over summer.

CLUBS & SOCS 43

Clubs & Socs News Rag week smashes target

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Game on!

See who wins our ‘lad’ test!

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Editor: Emily Pressnell news@theorbital.co.uk

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4The Big Round-up 4The Big Story 4London Lowdown

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The Big Story Fears that lower income students may be excluded due to fee increase

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“Black women less attractive” LSE academic dismissed

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Got a tip off?

Drop as a line if you any sort of hunch.

We love a good story

IN BRIEF 4

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Aftermath of SU Losses On 23 February 2011 Royal Holloway Students’ Union circulated a confidential memo regarding a loss of £11,000 worth of stock and a summary of immediate action to guard against further losses.

The Founder published a comment article on the memo on 23 March after it had been leaked to them and the Students’ Union responded, clarifying that staffing changes inferred by The Founder to be linked to the losses were, in fact, unrelated.

Since the initial reporting, the Students’ Union has elucidated on the details surrounding the loss and The Orbital can now report that the £11,000 figure is an ‘at retail’ loss, the actual stock totalling £3,300. Rachel Pearson, Union President, and Sean O’Donnell, General Manager, spoke to The Orbital about the action taken in the wake of the stock-loss. Four stock takes, including one “unannounced ‘walk-in’” show that variances are now “in line with an organisation with our level of trade”. Disciplinary action has also

not the amount lost in thousands of pounds as reported by The Founder. Actual amount £3,300

been taken against staff relating to stock security and a renewed focus placed on performance management, including the coaching of casual staff where appropriate. Additional CCTV has been installed in all Students’ Union opera-

this academic year that have now taken place are “expected to provide additional focus on imPhoto: SURHUL proving levels of control regarding stock as well as greater standards and levels of staff training in this area”.

The Union did not

The Union did not report the losses to the general membership at the time as the investigation was on-going tive venues, with further provision included in the impending Union building reconfiguration. As part of the original actions taken, staff complimentary end-of-night drinks, which equate to a monthly cost of around £525 or £1750 at retail value, were suspended, and will be reinstated when performances meet targets.

Commercial Services as a whole was reviewed both as part of the Strategic Development Plan of the Students’ Union and continues to be scrutinised as appropriate. Staffing changes planned for

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report the losses to the general membership at the time as the investigation was on-going and involved members of staff, but it is now in the process of compiling a detailed questions and answers document.

Sabbatical officers and some unpaid elected officers were made aware of the details in closed meetings as is the standard procedure.

In future the newly formed Trustee Board will deal with issues of accountability for all aspects of the Union, the External Trustees having been recruited for their relevant experience on such issues. DAVE COBB

The amount, in thousands of pounds that RAG is on target for rasing this academic year THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

The Big Round-Up

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SU to campaign for greater representation 4General meeting votes to push for greater student representation on the College Council The latest Student Union (SU) General Meeting was dominated by the strong influence of the recently established I&R Senate, with the majority of the motions discussed concerning matters of representation and inclusion.

After the unexpected withdrawal of a controversial motion proposing the introduction of five new Executive Officer positions, the General Meeting held on 17 May saw six motions efficiently discussed and passed. Similarly to the withdrawn

proposal, the bulk of the motions regarded matters of enhanced campus representation.

As well as reforms to bring the I&R Senate more in line with NUS strategy, the evening also resulted in increased academic representation, the creation of a second off-campus Students’ Representative, and a campaign for additional student presence on the College Council.

Influence from the recent student protests was also evident, in the passing of

GOOD NEWS

Photo: Dan Woodruff

LOUISE QUICK

Dave Cobb brings us something lighter hearted...

Apples and Laurels

Your library loves you...

The annual Laurels awards ceremony was held in the Students’ Union on 26 May 2011, celebrating the very best contributions made by students to life at Royal Holloway. Members of Union staff were nominated for Ordinary Lifetime Membership and indeed Extra-Ordinary Lifetime Membership. Amongst the acclaimed winners were Stef Phillipps, Jennie Saunders and Jamie Russell. Florence Johnson, Rupert Dickinson, Amy Richards and others received awards for their outstanding contributions to The Students’ Union and life at Royal Holloway.

Staff from an array of departments also won Apples, with one lecturer receiving five nominations and three Apples going to staff in the Geography department.

Following last term’s Your Library Loves You week, students suggested 316 ways that Library Services could be improved. Consequently, more laptops will be available to borrow, all requested books and DVDs have been ordered, and various environmental improvements have been made.

Longer opening hours are being considered, and the planned Bedford Library extension will provide more study space.

“Black women physically less attractive than other women” - Satoshi Kanazawa, LSE academic, p7, London Lowdown news@theorbital.co.uk

the Motion for the Support of the UCU Ballot, whereby the SU support lecturers’ strikes. However after considerable discussion on the Motion on defending the right to protest, the meeting was cut short after the discovery of an insufficient number of voters.

Those motions not discussed on the evening will be resolved at the Annual General Meeting.

“The committee is having to be slightly more strict now to prevent the formation of identical societies” - Student Activites Committee member, p45 5

THE BIG STORY Emily Pressnell reports

Access Denied!

As Royal Holloway announces annual tuition fees of £9,000, questions are being asked about a possible exclusion of students from lower income households.

The decision to charge annual tuition fees of £9,000 has caused concerns of excluding students from lower income households. Principal Layzell has pledged that nobody would be denied access to the student experience according to financial circumstances although the Students’ Union has expressed concern.

Speaking to The Orbital, Students’ Union President, Rachel Pearson, stated that the increased cost will prevent

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many students from entering higher education and described the increase as “a tragedy.”

The decision to raise the fees came amidst a furore of anti-cuts protests and student demonstrations, clearly indicating the lack of support for the government’s proposals. Nonetheless, Royal Holloway’s College Council pressed on with the changes, which will affect those students embarking on full-time undergraduate degrees in the academic

year 2012/13.

In his email, Professor Layzell recognised that the Students’ Union had opposed the plans to raise tuition fees, but argued that in order to preserve Royal Holloway’s identity as ‘one of the UK’s leading research intensive universities’, the increase in cost was necessary.

In what is emerging as a key concern amongst both current and prospective students, reassurance is being sought as to whether a degree at Royal Holloway THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Commentary

CHRIS COUCH Mature Student

4The door to university has been shut on mature students As a mature student, I firmly believe the coalition’s fee rises will decimate the number of students like myself entering university in the coming years.

A recent conversation with the director of my access course revealed that rather than the usual 20-25 applicants for his course, he had only had six for this coming academic year.

The access course is the usual route for students who, like me, want to study for a degree.

This would seem to be

evidence of the fact that many mature students have been deterred from pursuing a degree because of the fee increases.

The costs incurred by undertaking a degree are often paramount in the mind of the mature student. There are, in many cases, the considerations of juggling family life, a part time job, and study.

Add to this the spectre of £9,000 a year fees and you can understand why many would be deterred.

Although I have had great financial support, in the shape of bursaries and

maintenance grants, I know I would think long and hard about starting a degree in 2012.

Rather than incentivising mature students to undertake what is for many a life changing experience, the government has slammed the door to higher education in their faces.

The clock has been turned back to when I was in my late teens, when only a very small percentage went to university. It would appear those dark days are back.

funding will be used to support students lack of study space in the Library. from homes with a lower income, and Despite these much-needed improvean additional £1 million will be used to ments to the infrastructure of the unisupport postgraduate research stuversity, it is also vital that Royal Hollodents. way is able to demonstrate the real value Some remain adamant that in its of its degrees. Only then will its students current state, Royal Holloway is not in a be certain that the £9,000 pounds they position to be raising its fees. In an anonymous Professor Layzell, however, is comment posted on the certain that nobody will be university’s Manifesto webpage, one student excluded from ‘the student argued that to charge experience’ because of their THE FACTS £9,000 the university would need a reputafinancial circumstances. tion worthy of matching Oxbridge and Durham.

Photo: Marco Banfi It is said that this is something Royal paid each year was worth it. will offer good value for money. There Holloway will not be able to achieve A degree at Harvard in 2011/12 cost are fears that the increased fee will with the current levels of student the equivalent of £21,548 a year, yet its prevent some students from being able satisfaction. “Perhaps the university reputation surpasses that of any other to afford a degree. should begin making sensible decisions university in the world, according to the Professor Layzell, however, is certain based on what students want and need.

Academic Ranking of World Universithat nobody will be excluded from ‘the Students will want an education worthy ties. In comparison, Royal Holloway student experience’ because of their not only of their time, but also their currently ranks 41st nationally in the financial circumstances. The Manifesto money, which I think even with the Guardian’s 2011 University League Tafor the future of Royal Holloway states current level of fees is rather debatable.” ble. According to the same source, only that the student hardship fund will Comments from additional students 58 percent of RHUL graduates get a job be doubled, an extra £2.15 million of expressed discontent at the cost of acwithin 6 months of graduating. commodation and Such statistics will undoubtedly be at food on campus, the forefront of Professor Layzell’s mind, Students’ Union President, Rachel as well as the size as he seeks to fulfil the Manifesto promPearson, described the increase as “a of the Students’ ise to “ensure that a Royal Holloway deUnion, and the gree is an investment for life”. l tragedy.” news@theorbital.co.uk

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NEWS UCL

For the first time, The Orbital has teamed up with LSJSN, the London Journalist Support Network. LSJSN exists to provide support to student led publications and student journalists within the University of London.

Bomb scare labelled hoax 4A bomb scare at UCL is considered a hoax by the Metropolitan police.

Students were prevented from leaving UCL premises until police had investigated the incident, with many being moved to the UCL Library for their safety.

On Twitter, students trended on the topic. @KushalP said: “Bomb scare down by UCL and UC Hospital. They’re locking people in the library. That’s one way to get students to revise.”

A spokesperson for the Metropolitan police said they received a call about a potential bomb threat at UCL but that it is believed to have been a “hoax” after an investigation found no evidence.

By being a part of LSJSN, we are more integrated with knowledge of what’s happening with other University of London institutions.

This page serves to keep us in the know with London news.

Joe Rennison, London Student’s outgoing Editor has given us a brief summary of all of the campus news accross London so we don’t feel left out!

Photo: Steve Cadman UoL

UoL Hall Wardens to be made redundant

Photo: Leo Reynolds

4University of London mangement propose to make Hall Wardens redudant to free up more rooms for students.

University of London recently proposed that all Intercollegiate Hall Wardens, those in charge of pastoral care, should be made redundant. The news sparked a campaign to ‘Save Our Wardens’.

A consultation period is currently in place and a decision is expected at the end of June. Martin Burchett, Director of Estates and Facilities for

University of London and the man behind the proposals, does not agree with the criticisms. “We are not doing away with pastoral care, we will just be doing it in a different way,” he says.

Plans are to have Bursars taking on the role as well as training up students. However it has also been suggested that to expect

students to take on the work of Wardens is not only unfair but unrealistic. Burchett disagrees, saying that the Bursars will take the majority of the workload. He adds that all students will be, “appropriately trained”, receiving the same training that Wardens do currently and stressing that the plans are, “entirely in accordance with UK code of practice.”

THE LONDON LOWDOWN 8

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

London Lowdown

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LSE

“Black women less attractive” 4ULU Senate voted for Satoshi Kanazawa to be dismissed after his controversial Psychology article.

ULU Senate unanimously voted for the immediate dismissal of Satoshi Kanazawa over an article he wrote for Psychology Today. Kanazawa’s article, entitled ‘Why Are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women?’, reports the perspectives and opinions of adult respondents, claiming these as “objective facts.” No sample size is included.

At a ULU Senate meeting 18 may, Students’ Union officers

agreed to, “openly condemn Satoshi Kanazawa’s poor research” and “to call for the immediate dismissal of Satoshi Kanazawa.

A spokesperson for LSE said: “The views expressed by this academic are his own and do not in any way represent those of LSE as an institution. The important principle of academic freedom means that authors have the right to publish their views – but it also gives others the freedom to disagree.”

This is not the first instance of criticism for Kanazawa’s writing. Lukas Slothuus, Community and Welfare Officer-elect, said: “The academic community has widely condemned Kanazawa’s flawed research and there should be no place for his unscientific bigotry at the LSE. Students stand united against his disgraceful conclusions and will not let this negatively impact good campus relations.”

Satoshi Kanazawa

LSE

LSE to charge less than £9,000 4First elite University out of the 1994 Group and the Russel Group Universities to charge less than £9,000.

Photo: Joseph Offer

The London School of Economics have decided to charge £8,500 tuition fees from 2012, making them the first Russell Group University to decide on fees less than £9,000.

Students and academics campaigned against charging £9,000 fees, with the Academic Board, consisting of

lecturers and research staff, voting to charge £8,000.

All the English research-intensive universities in the Russell and 1994 Groups have so far settled for £9,000, Royal Holloway included.

LSE released a statement: “Despite the loss of all our teaching

grant, LSE has one of the strongest financial positions of any UK university. Therefore it is able to take a distinctive position and take account of arguments of principle in this area, while continuing to invest in teaching, the student experience and the estate.”

Bursting the bubble of campus with the best bits of news from colleges across the capital. We are part of the University of London, after all! news@theorbital.co.uk

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o K L A T i b r o Editor: Craig Gent comment@theorbital.co.uk

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Photo: Michael Clarke

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College: get your priorities right

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The Big Debate: Should we defend the right to protest?

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NUS : Lacking in democracy and accountability? pag

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General Meetings: A sorry state of affairs when things grind to a halt due to numbers 10

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4The Big Debate 4Your Letters

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Christopher Hobbs calls for college management to focus on attracting world class scholars rather than renovating buildings As is the case with people, there are a variety of ways to understand the character of a university – looks, actions, words. For the first, Holloway reigns supreme.

Founders is surely the most superb university building in the world. Sadly this is the most superficial criterion. After all, universities such as Warwick manage to overcome their profound shortcomings in that department.

As for the second, a university’s actions do matter – the LSE would do well to learn that. Holloway, for instance, has a variety of outreach programmes.

Nevertheless, for our purposes, actions do not actually speak louder than words. For words (i.e.

research output) truly define the character of a college.

Therefore, Holloway’s academics are its greatest assets. Worryingly, however, we learn that the government’s changes threaten to bring about a net reduction in our staff. This is to be resisted.

Our scholars’ 4* research ratings define Holloway’s reputation. As the Principal has noted, they do not teach from the books – they write the books. Indeed they too learnt from great scholars in the past – and the great scholars from great scholars and so on: furnishing us with an apostolic succession of scholarship.

To ensure that we

continue to attract good students under the higher fee system, I suggest that we not only defend academic positions but start a drive of recruitment. I think attracting world class scholars could be more beneficial than renovating buildings. We could secure even stronger research ratings, better student-staff ratios, and perhaps better student satisfaction and student feedback. Ultimately we would rise in the, albeit superficial, league tables and continue to procure the good students we need.

Storm clouds are gathering over the Holloway picnic. We need to save the 1990 Bordeaux and forget about patching up the picnic rug.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Your letters

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Anti-Monarchist’s Lament On 29 April, students gathered in Crosslands, the Hub and the Englefield Green street party to celebrate the marriage of William and Kate. I’ll put it out there now that I had to Google her before I could put a face to the name.

While union flags were being waved around and bunting thrown about like it’s going out of fashion, I was busy revising and recovering from Liquid the night before (woe is me).

Imagine the horror on people’s faces when I replied to the questionof-the-day “Did you watch the Wedding?!” with an account of my studious (and sore) morning! But why?

Why is it accepted that we can each have completely

Photo: Steve Punter

4Craig Gent reflects upon love, democracy and privilege different views on a whole host of topics, yet when it comes to the monarchy any form of dissent provokes something ranging anywhere from a gasp to a shake of the head to a wry, judgemental smile?

It’s not that I want to impose my views on anyone else - I don’t. I am an anti-monarchist because I

feel that the monarchy represents a manifestation of archaic traditionalism and social inequality, blindly defended “because it’s British” – personally I would prefer any vague conceivable sense of patriotism I’m yet to acquire to be rooted in a heritage of social mobility, equality and democracy. We can dream,

eh? I digress.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against two people who are in love getting hitched. However it is genuinely concerning that in a so-called democracy, such a line can be drawn around one family so as to make a taboo of any passing scrutiny of their privilege.

Join me SlutWalking Vicky Iglikowski calls for fellow students to speak against suggestions that women “should avoid dressing like sluts” to avoid rape.

The current phenomenon sweeping the globe, ‘SlutWalks’, started in Toronto ignited by the advice of a police officer who suggested that in order to prevent rape, “women should avoid dressing like sluts”. The sensation is spreading worldwide with events planned from Chicago to Amsterdam, hitting London on 11th June. The concept? Reclaiming the right to be sexual, the right to wear whatever you want and the right not to be blamed for rape. Currently we educate victims not rapists; the message being ‘don’t get raped’, rather than ‘don’t rape’.

The myths surrounding rape are dangerous: a rapist attacks for power, not because he sees a flash of flesh and cannot control himself I shall be - how insulting to men! Rape happens marching to declare “My short to many people in many circumstances of day to day life, not just to drunk, proskirt has nothing miscuous women wearing short skirts in to do with you,” unlicensed taxis. A rapist can be convenwe have had tionally attractive and socially confident, enough of being not just the anorak-wearing social recluse victimised and we might usually imagine; in fact in most labelled cases it is someone the victim knows.

These misconceptions must be dispelled. comment@theorbital.co.uk

A slut is defined as a promiscuous person, and largely refers to women. It is a term notoriously lacking in male equivalents. But what does it actually mean? A woman who enjoys sex and being sexual? A woman who is confident? A woman who is proud of her body?

What is wrong with these things? Is it that in this sense a ‘slut’ poses a threat to patriarchy in her self-assurance and strength? There is a misconception that SlutWalk’s organisers desire women to conform to the masculine defined concept of a ‘slut’. This is not the case, the walk does not claim that all women should dress in a certain way, but rather proclaims the opposite: you have a right to wear whatever you want and not be judged for it.

On the 11 June I shall be marching with my sisters and brothers to declare “My short skirt has nothing to do with you.” We have had enough of being victimised and labelled. So join me to speak out for freedom, fun and equality!

Turn over for...

THE BIG DEBATE 11

the

BIG debate

Should we defend Photo: David Ruccio

FOR: Stand up for what is right The attack on protesting is a key issue affecting the members of the Students’ Union Craig Gent SURHUL Campaigns Officer-elect

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rotest is an integral and legitimate part of democracy, and in Britain it is under threat. On 9 December 2010 students were contained, or ‘kettled’, in Westminster for up to nine hours. Kettling serves two purposes: it contains a group of people in a small area with an impenetrable wall of riot police around them, and it creates an often hostile and distressing atmosphere for its victims, dissuading protestors from taking to the streets again. Due to its antagonistic nature, and the fact that in too many cases, such as on the 9 December, protestors are deprived of water, medical attention, toilets, food or warmth, it is being challenged in the European Court of Human Rights.

Similarly, the rise in pre-emptive arrests and political policing (that is, arresting protestors on weak grounds because of what they represent, not what they’ve done) serves to paint an unrepresentative picture of the numbers involved in crime and discourage citizens from exercising their right to protest. This must be defended as vehemently as any other integral part of democracy.

So why should our SU affiliate to the campaign? Put simply, because students have been central to the campaign, both in subject and in The rise in driving it. Just as the NUS has, SURHUL must recognise that pre-emptive it has a role to play in standarrests and political policing ing up for what is right and campaigning to raise awareserves to paint ness of key issues affecting its an unrepresenta- membership. SURHUL is not tive picture of just a place to grab a pint and a pasty, this is our Union. This the numbers motion isn’t asking the Union involved to support the message of any

YOUR VIEWS 12

group of protestors and it isn’t asking the Union to condone crime, it is asking the Union to stand up against the attack on protesting. If it won’t function to protect its members’ right to partake in such an important part of democracy, The Defend the Right what is its function? to Protest campaign was initiated by The Defend the Right to Protest the London Region University and campaign does not ask people to College Union to raise awareness and support the cause of any group of speak out against tactics used by the protestors, but rather the act of police to discourage people from protest, of free speech, and of free exercising their right to protest. The association. While it was initi- campaign cites the “extreme tactics ated by academics, this campaign including kettling, mounted horse is recognising the wider implica- charges and battering protesters with tions of the political response to extreme force” as its raison d’être, drawing attention to instances where protest that we have seen through “peaceful activists have been targeted the student protests, and the wor- for arrest and arbitrary detention” rying narrative it creates. JS Mill such as at the Fortnum & Masons sit-in said, “I may not agree with your on 26 March and in the days leading opinion but I will defend to the up to the Royal Wedding. death your right to say it”. I’m not There have been questions raised asking anyone to give their life, across the national media about but I do implore you to vote for the increase in ‘pre-crime’ arrests, the Defend the Right to Protest af- particularly those being justified on grounds of suspicion of planning to filiation motion l

Yes. But lets look at the nitty gritty details. This is too crude a motion and needs clarification. - Ben, 3rd Year Geography

ABOUT:

commit a ‘breach of the peace’, as well as the controversial use of many

Absolutely. A Union exists to protect its members so our SU should be protecting students’ right to protest - Vicky, History Postgraduate THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

the right to protest?

AGAINST: It is too vague and unrelated

This motion would extend to support agressive behaviour and interests unrelated to students Louise Quick 2nd Year History Student

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t is not the action of protesting that I am denouncing, but the proposal that our Students’ Union support the campaign’s false claim of police brutality and the unnecessary desire to further limit the power of the Metropolicrowd-control techniques seen in the tan police. student protests. The campaign has The campaign fails to define the been joined and driven by many highprofile MPs, academics, trade union style of protest it is supporting the leaders and celebrities, including Tony right for. Every citizen has the Benn, John McDonnell MP, Caroline right to peacefully demonstrate, Lucas MP, Ken Loach, Irvine Welsh, but no one has the right to pose a Mark Serwotka and Billy Bragg. danger to other individuals. The The motion being put before the police have a duty to protect and SU General Meeting mandates the maintain public safety and it once Union to affiliate to the campaign, this is threatened, such as the noting that the methods of the Police violence that occurred during the are being used to deter people from November 10th student protest, their right to protest, and tactics such that they are entitled to intervene. as horse charges and ‘kettling’ are being used against students. ‘Kettling’, Immediately after the November or containment, is currently being demonstration Major of London, challenged in the European Court of Boris Johnson, described how Human Rights. this violent minority of demonThe Defend the Right to Protest strators, by failing to maintain a campaign is encouraging student unpeaceful demonstration, ‘shameions to affiliate, and should the motion fully abused their right to protest’. pass, SURHUL would be the second to do so behind the NUS.

I don’t care; everything is shit. It is probably a good thing to be linked to ‘cos it is supporting students and all that.

- Dexter, 1st Year Biology comment@theorbital.co.uk

The allegation advocated by the campaign that police intervention in demonstrations consists of the ‘routine use of violent tactics’ and ‘intimidation’ is an exaggerated illustration of events. Both the utilisation of ‘kettling’ and mounted policemen are not physically violent tactics, but passive forms of crowd control intended to pacify a situation determined as dangerous.

Also, as a recent Guardian article by the President of the Association of Chief Police Officers argues, the British Metropolitan police force is lenient in comparison to its European counterparts, in that ‘the UK does not have standing “riot police”, nor are water cannon and baton rounds a common feature’.

With regards to the actual motion proposing that the SU support the Defend the Right to Protest campaign, I believe that our SU President Rachel Pearson held a valid argument during the 17 May General Meeting when she stated that large parts of the campaign are irrelevant to Royal Holloway. The campaign makes references to The campaign various protests, such as the sitmakes referin against tax avoidance at Fortences to varinum and Mason in March this ous protests, year, which are unrelated to the interests of the students. such as the Thus the motion on defending sit-in against the right to protest should not tax avoidance be passed, because the vagueat Fortnum and ness of the campaign means that Mason in March the SU would be seen as simulthis year, which taneously supporting aggressive are unrelated to behaviour within protests and the interests of limiting the power of an already lenient police force. l

the students.

I think the SU should support the right to peaceful, nonviolent protest that supports a cause which is beneficial to everyone and not just to a particular group - Singh, 1st Year Physics 13

orbiTALK!

NUS: please be more accountable Craig Gent discusses how we can make the NUS more accountable than it currently is and what the job of the delegates should entail.

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n the wake of this year’s NUS National Conference, sure that the decisions of the delegates are accountable, questions have been raised over the Union’s aclies not with the processes of the NUS, though there is countability, which is said to be challenged by the certainly room for improvement, but with the delegates short amount of time that Sabbaticals and delegates themselves. There were two weeks between the motions have to deliberate and give consideration to motions being made public and this year’s NUS National Conand issues raised at Conference. ference, yet where was the local student consultation For the unaware, motions are submitted by Students’ on these issues? Ideally these issues should have been Unions and individual members up to a month in addiscussed at the General Meeting so that the decisions vance of conference. From here, composite teams can made were accountable rather than merely resting on amend, dilute or amalgamate motions before they are the opinion of the President and NUS delegates. Yes, published two weeks in advance of the conference. Sabthese positions are elected to represent us, but this does baticals and delegates then received booklets which not ensure their accountability when it comes to voting contain the motions being discussed and the manifestos on motions at NUS National Conference on behalf of of all those standing. the student body.

As National Conference lasts just two nights and three Accountability seems to be a major problem at Royal days, the issue raised Holloway, throughout the has been that this does Union in both elected and These positions are elected to not provide enough non-elected positions; time to give adequate represent us, but this does not this can be rectified with attention to each of the ease in relation ensure their accountability when it relative (many, many) motions to NUS National Conferin order for the reprecomes to voting on motions on ence. In future SURHUL sentatives attending to needs to take a leaf from behalf of the student body. make informed decithe book of numerous sions. There is a point other Unions and commit here. If we go back even just a few years, the NUS would to a period of consultation with its membership before have more than one National Conference a year, schedheading to Conference to vote on important issues. Not uled out of exam time and each lasting five days, allowonly is this essential for accountability, but it is crucial to ing for more fringe events and wider discussion. garnering a culture of discussion, which is so desperately However, it seems to me that the real issue in making lacking at Holloway.

Photo: NUS

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THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Your Letters

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Withdrawal of liberation motion Craig Gent explains the last-minute removal of a proposal to create five new Executive Officer positions, a suggestion that raised considerable debate.

Before the last General Meeting, the motion for the creation of five new executive committee posts was withdrawn. The motion being proposed would have bolstered the Inclusion and Representation Senate by elevating five current positions which correspond to the NUS liberation campaigns (mature, disabled, Black and Ethnic Minority, women’s and LGBT+) to the executive committee.

Discussions took place between those who had been involved in writing the motion and those who There has been were promoting it, and a consensus was a worrying level reached to withdraw the motion in order to engage with a greater number of concerned of ignorance parties. We the proposors of the motion, and general continue to stand by the opinion that these lack of concern posts need to be created, and that the I&R towards liberSenate needs to be strengthened and reation-based thought to give it more capability and pres-

campaigns.

ence on campus. Liberation campaigns play an important role in campaigning against different discriminations; however it is important not to conflate the many diverse issues.

In order to gain interest and collate opinions on the motion, a Facebook event was created. Unfortunately there has been a worrying level of ignorance and general lack of concern towards liberation-based campaigns and their significance, which is something we would like to discuss with the I&R Senate and other concerned parties. It was also quite shocking to see some individuals wade into making personal attacks on individuals. This bore no relevance to the topic, contributed nothing and was not conducive to constructing a comfortable space for discussion between SURHUL members as has been intended. We urge all SU representatives and officers to take this matter seriously.

Sorry state of affairs for GM

Joe Rayment, Union Chair-elect, argues that General Meetings are in a

sorry state of affairs and urges all members take part in General meetings.

Exactly one week before SURHUL was being audited as part of the Student Union Evaluation Initiative (SUEI), one of only eight General Meetings of the year actually fell below quoracy. The model that SUEI uses to evaluate Students Unions describes one of the three things which make a Union special is participation; however, we could not even get 0.5% of our members to turn out for a few hours to vote on such matters as affiliating to the Defend the Right to Protest campaign, campaigning for more students to sit on the College’s highest decision making body, supporting UCU strike action and much more.

We have seen General Meeting attendance fluctuate throughout this year, with it peaking at the General Meeting where two members brought forward a motion to support occupations. However, as I looked As I looked around the room at that particular meetaround the ing, I could tell that at least 90% of the people there had already made their room, I could mind up about how they were going to tell that at vote. They had come purely to vote for least 90% of or against that one motion. the people This really is a sorry state of affairs to there had be in. With matters being brought to already made General Meetings which affect each and their mind up. every student at Royal Holloway, I do comment@theorbital.co.uk

not understand the apathy. Some may hypothesise that it’s because General Meetings are not well publicized enough, but their dates have been set since before the start of the academic year, and there were free wall planners and almanacs available for all students in Freshers’ Week. No, I do not think it’s a lack of publicity, but a lack of understanding of what the General Meeting is there for.

So, essentially, this is a plea to all SURHUL members.

Please come along to the Annual General Meeting on 7 June at 8pm in the SU Main Hall. Make your voice heard, find out what you can do to make SURHUL better for you, and soon you’ll realise student politics isn’t actually as boring as you might think.

Photo: Nick Stylianou

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Guest columnist

s r a l u g e

page

Editor: Shannon Mizzi regulars@theorbital.co.uk

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page

page

On the cover: We dig up the archives to reveal the secrets of the Summer Ball

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page

Turning point for NUS: Presidential elections and conference reviews

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The Science of Suntanning: A topical and comical twist on the boring bits

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4Columns 4Have you met? 4Cover Feature4Literary 4Photo 4Science 4Bar Blog

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4Alex Babahmadi reflects upon departing Egham for pastures new, asking if we really dislike the place as much we think?

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adly, I must depart Egham.

Some of us say that sadness should not be an emotion on leaving Egham. I was one of those people, but truthfully I am not sure whether

I still am.

Next year, Madrid and Vienna will greet me, hopefully with welcoming arms, but that will not mean that my love for Egham will wane. Leaving London to come to Royal Holloway was a feat. Yes, you say. It is only 40 minutes by train away. Yes, you say, it is easily done, many of our student body do it everyday, but it is different. Decamping to a different place and setting up a life is no easy task.

When I arrived at Holloway, Wedderburn was a hubof activity, everyone bright-eyed, super friendly, looking for new friends to have fun with. Gladly, we all got to know each other and despite everything we are still all friends.

The quiet, bubblelike atmosphere was a welcome change from the hustle and bustle of running around London on auto-pilot, whether it be from home to school, going to friends houses or just going to the supermarket.

Coming to Egham made me appreciate my surroundings and actually look whilst ambling along to lectures or for a pint at Crosslands.

I know I will have a great time abroad, finding new friends, forging new links with people for the future and generally living a life different to the one I have been accustomed to. This does not mean

I will not miss the walk through the forest to the college shop on a grey and wet afternoon in search of cheap cigarettes and the subsidised Guardian.

We all complain about Royal Holloway but paradoxically we are very proud of our small and comfortable position.

We all love the fact we cannot walk five minutes around campus without bumping into someone we know. We love the fact the Students’ Union on a friday night has revived our knowledge of 90s pop music. Egham isn´t faultless - if anything it can be one of the most depressing places in the universe, with its dark, economically-dying high street - but it is our Egham. Anyone who does not go here who complains about it quickly receives a glare of contempt and a stern word or two.

Will I miss Egham, no. But I will miss the moments shared with friends on campus and in the mazes of Englefield green and Egham.

We are lucky that we have everything we need in such great proximity to us, and during my commute to uni, I will probably yearn for the ten minute walk to the International Building, complete with a berry tea, before a seminar.

I adore the fact we are small yet mighty. We may complain and at times we wish we had never come, but I know that I will never forget the three years spent in Egham in the future. Egham is ridiculous, but it is ours and will always have a special place in our heart and we shall fiercely defend it.

We all complain about Royal Holloway but paradoxically we are very proud of our small and comfortable position.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Have you met...?

o

Paul Anderson O Used to manage two small, prestigious nightclubs in Windsor and Kingston

O Has already implemented

a photographer in the SU on Wednesdays and Fridays since coming to Royal Holloway

O Wants you to leave Royal

Holloway not just with a degree, but with memories of ‘some cracking SU nights’ as well

O His stance: its about us

as managers working with drink companies and promoters and everything else, giving you the best package possible

The Experience

The Suggestions

The VIP

Coming from the high street to the student’s union was a bit of an experience, shall I say. I have dealt with Student nights in the past, so I kind of knew what I was coming into, but I think students within this union are very vocal. I’ve spent a lot of my time walking around and just having a chat with them, seeing what they want. My first approach to it was… and I have to word this really carefully… you’re not getting a bum deal, but you’re not getting as much as you should for your money. I’ve come in from the high street and I’ve thought to myself, well, you’re students, you still pay your fiver and the value of your drink, so why can’t we increase the service that we give you. We’re trying to get a bit of consistency with the nights.

I want people to chat. My door is always open. On June 9th I’m holding a ‘Drop-in Day’ between 4-6 with sandwiches and free soft drinks. I’ll be there with a few other managers, so come in and we’ll have an open conversation. Next term, I’m looking to do some extra nights. We are looking to do a garage and hip-hop night once a month, and an indie and rock night every 2 months. My vision is to change the concept of it into being a night club where you come out and feel like you’re somewhere a bit different than just the Students’ Union.

I think quite a lot of people thought that I created this with a target market in mind: those with maybe a bit more money to spend than others.

I didn’t. The idea is that it is available to anyone and everyone. All students have a birthday or special occasion that they want to celebrate and we would like to be a part of that. This would hopefully start next term and to request, join the ‘Royal Holloway’ facebook group.

Interview by Shannon Mizzi & Beth Bridewell

The Song If I had to listen to one song on repeat for the whole year it would have to be with the new Chris Brown song ‘Beautiful People’, which I absolutely love; or LMFAO’s ‘Party Rock Anthem’ because it’s so catchy!

I’d love to hire that little Robot Guy and have him appear on the SU Main Stage!

Photo: Julian Farmer regulars@theorbital.co.uk

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Summer Ball Shannon Mizzi reveals the event’s past, present & future

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ove it or hate it, we all hear about the annual Royal Holloway Summer Ball. The atmosphere that the Founders’ building creates, the food, the bands, the dancing ‘til dawn, and the good times with friends all contribute to a unique end-of-year experience. But what was it like for those students who came before us? And more importantly, in the present day are we still getting value for our money?

In 1977, it cost a Holloway student only £3.50 (up £1.00 from 1976) to attend the Summer Ball dinner, and another £3.50 for the concert portion of the evening, and, even better, only £6.50 if the two tickets were bought together. The 1977 Summer Ball must have been pretty epic, with a musical line-up consisting of: ‘The Kursaal Flyers’, (according to a contemporary student newsletter ‘with natty new suits, new guitarist and a whole stack of new songs, plus all the old favourites’), and ‘Kenny Ball and his Jazz Men’, (who had played the year before as well, and were ‘definitely the high point’). In the same year could be found ‘Le Quintet Hot D’Englefield Green’ who played in a jazz rock style,

and were ‘back by request’ after a student petition was signed for the Summer Ball managers to book them. So, has much really changed?

The menu certainly has. In 1977, the menu consisted of: ‘Prawn Cocktail, Escalope de Turkey Marechale, New Potatoes, Peas St. Cloud, Fruit Melba glace tutti frutti, Sherry (Mantilla), and Wine. The alcoholic consumption sounds really quite similar!

In 1977, it However, luckily for cost a Holloway our predecessors, Student only you could also bring £3.50 to attend your own bottle. the Summer Students could Ball dinner dance in the Picture Gallery until 1AM, to the sounds of the Ray Jackson Dance Band, who were ‘ever faithful, ever popular’. Then, there was a disco bar until 3AM: All of this for only £7.00.

By 1989, tickets were £25.00.

Acts around this time included Jools Holland and his Big Band, The Bootleg Beatles, The Boogie

‘‘

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Brothers and the fabulouslynamed ‘Geno Washington and the Ram Jam Band’.

Moving forward to 1994, The Orbital was shocked to discover that the one and only Radiohead previously played at Royal Holloway in the 1990s. Try that for a good line up!

The new SU venue manager, Paul Anderson, who the Orbital interviewed last week, had something to say about the Summer Ball ticket prices, and also had a few ideas for future Summer Balls.

According to Paul: “I genuinely think what a great thing the summer ball is and what an awesome area to have it.

However, I think something we all need to consider is what we offer and the price.” Paul went on to question whether we should continue having the Summer Ball

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

C Fea over tur e

Photos: Nick Stylianou & RHUL Archives

in the quad and suggested moving it to a bigger field elsewhere, in which we could combine with other universities, whilst lowering the price and maintaining high standards.

Students have been quite vocal on Facebook about value for money, but with many students defending the SU’s choice in acts, Paul agrees: “You’re never going to keep everyone happy. All you can do as a manager, is engage to the mass as best you can.

Where else could you see all these bands, with a fun fair, the atmosphere and stay up until 6AM? You’ve got to weigh up the money and the value.”

The Royal Holloway Summer Ball has been happening under different names almost since the university’s founding. It originally happened under the guise of a Garden Party, in the traditional Victorian and, later, Edwardian style. There was even a time in the 1970’s when it was labelled the ‘Not Summer Ball’,

regulars@theorbital.co.uk

which, it is assumed, was an attempt at a re-branding of the event.

Many of the pictures accompanying this article come from the Royal Holloway and Bedford New College University Archives. The Archives welcome any pictures from students this summer from the upcoming Summer Ball and especially past Summer Balls. You can email them to the archive service at archives@rhul.ac.uk,

What would you like to see at a future Summer Ball? Tweet your suggestions to us @TheOrbitalRHUL

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The Lineup

2011

Real name: Jahmaal Noel Fyffe 20 Age: Tottenham, London From: Biggest hit: Oopsy Daisy (UK #1)

University: None, but he did take Fun Fact:

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A-levels and wants to be a teacher someday Chipmunk was originally an insulting nickname, but when the man who gave it to him died, he decided to keep it as a sign of respect

Real name: Beat a Maxx - it’s probably Swedish According to him, “a DJ never tells Age: his age”

Brighton, Sussex From: University: University College London Fun Fact: Beat a Maxx is a reference to the

videocassette tape recording format, Betamax

Members:

Daniel Stephens, Joe Ray, Alana Watson

Age: From:

Mid twenties

Label:

MTA Records (Owned by Chase & Status)

London

Biggest hit: Guilt (UK #8) Fun Fact:

Although they’ve only broken in to the mainstream music scene in the last few years, the duo of Stephens and Ray have been mixing since the late 90s - it was only in 2008 that Alana joined them

Real name: Stephen Paul Manderson Age:

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Hackney, East London From: Biggest hit: I need you tonight (UK #1) 2008 JumpOff Myspace Battle Awards:

Rap Tournament Winner; 2010 Mobo Awards Best Hip Hop/ Grime Act

University: None. He dropped out of school in year 8, despite being offered a scholarship to a prestigious private institution

Fun Fact:

He originally wanted to be a lawyer but believes his way with words and passion for debate help him in rap battles instead of the legal ones he could be fighting.

Shannon Mizzi profiles those performing at this year’s Summer Ball

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Liam Burns, elected as NUS President 2011/12

REGULARS

Photos: NUS

Aaron Porter, the outgoing NUS National President

Out with the old, in with the new following the fting dynamics of NUS Presidencsyfor a generation.

Ben Parfitt investigates the shitro litic r for student po most decisive and con versial yea

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ithin hours of being elected the 55th As he stood before NUS National Conference 2011, a year NUS President at this year’s National down the line from his then-triumphant election victory, Aaron Conference, Liam Burns became the Porter acknowledged a degree of animosity from some at the most popular man in town. @NUS_ conference. “All I ask is that you hear me out,” he begged. InLiam soon became a top trend on Twit- deed, Porter is fully aware of his critics. He humbly admits to ter and the Scotsman enjoyed a mon- “getting things wrong this year.” But as the critics jeer, sensing strous round of applause from the floor as he came forth to speak victory, Porter does not falter. Reflecting upon the reception of on even the most banal of motions. his speech he commented: “I’ve long since stopped caring about Aaron Porter, the incumbent, looked on from the sidelines. one or two people which it seemed to be. I took great heart from “I’m not gone yet,” he pleaded on one instance. Porter made the the fact that there was pretty much a standing ovation at the papers earlier this year when he became the first NUS President end.” not to run for a second term in office since 1969. “NUS president Where NUS did not achieve its aims, Porter is sure that he to stand down after criticism from student protesters,” read one held the right line. As more and more universities announce headline. that they will charge undergraduThis tumultuous year for student Where NUS did not achieve its ates the maximum tuition fee level of politics has been the most decisive £9,000, Porter condemns the governaims, Porter is sure that he for a generation. For his actions ment for ignoring NUS advice. “It is Porter has been thrust firmly into the worst possible outcome and we held the right line. the media spotlight, center stage, at promised them it would happen again, the very heart of debate. For his inand again, and again.” Porter seems actions he has relentlessly been the crux of criticism, denounced angry, he speaks with real conviction and is certain to drive his as ‘spineless.’ On one particularly dark day in Manchester, he was points home, even if much of his address is undermined by the forced off an NUS-organized march by his own members. They jeering far left. chased, directed abuse and hurled eggs as the leader was escorted So why did he not re-stand for NUS President? After all, to safety by police. Worse still, many Student Unions’ successfully he claims to truly believe that NUS policy is what it should passed motions of no confidence in his leadership. be, that the NUS has made a real difference this year, and he

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THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

NUS Feature

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he said. Byrne was defined by a focus on the need to be at the negotiating table at “every possible chance.”

Mark Bergfeld, by contrast, denounced the possibility of negotiating with the government. “If you do then you have given in,” he said. Why should we be begging on our knees, begging

raised fist and he endorses a ‘slate’ of far-left candidates for the other positions.

Shane Chowen, the only candidate not to be from a Higher Eduction background, called for a “fresh start” for the student movement as he highlighted the errors that he believes seems to be sure of what is and what the NUS have made. “I will send is not realistically possible. Accordshockwaves through the NUS and the ing to Porter, the reason education sectors as there he did not re-stand was has never before been a Beth Bridewell: NUS National Conference For me, most of the three days were spent in a whirl- credible Further Education that he believes, if sucwind of emotion ranging from intense inspiration candidate,” he said. cessfully elected, it was from motivated student activists to complete coninevitable that a lengthy Liam Burns executed fusion and occasionally boredom. In discussions what has been described debate surrounding the about how the union should approach activism as the “most articulate” credibility of his leaderover the next year, a number of ideas tabled by the ship would have come performance of the evening.

Left were voted down by a large majority. at the detriment of the He calmly and assertively The presidential election of Liam Burns has been seen as a unifying NUS activities. “It would move for NUS. Burns was elected on a platform of working with grass- impressed many of the have turned into chaos,” roots networks, and made a point of constantly admitting that NUS undecided. The candidate he said. had got it badly wrong during the fees protests last year. The election from NUS Scotland had the of Burns was somewhat refreshing, a confident and honest speaker final word of the evening: o it stood: a with huge amounts of experience. I'll be interested to see where a “We have to be proud of our four horse year under his leadership takes student politics. strengths and honest about race for presour weaknesses, if you want Olly Parsons: NUS LGBT Conference idency, each an honest president then From the moment we arrived at this year’s LGBT that’s me.” candidate a conference in Sheffield, there were interesting fresh face.

And so the next day discussions and debates. The conference was Burns was duly elected with The race, dubbed “too opened by comedian Jonathan Mayor, who as close to call” by national 446 votes, clearly ahead of well as being very funny, gave the conference a media, became a little Chowen who managed to powerful opening with a reminder that “Pride” must clearer at informal Husstill be a protest, as there are still many inequalities collect 279 votes. Though tings as the four Presihe will not officially take that need addressing. dential candidates were During the course of the weekend we covered topics from the ef- office until 1 July, Burns, brought before delegates fect of the government spending cuts on LGBT related services to the outgoing NUS Scotland in a one-hour debate. changes to the LGBT name itself and the condemnation of several President, has already been homophobic or intolerant groups and individuals. We attended work- a busy boy. Speaking after Chaired by SkyNews shops on LGBT and health services, the possibilities presented by the his successful election, presenter, Sophie Rich, 2012 London Olympics and LGBT sexual education in schools. the ‘informal hustings’ Burns said that as of May showcased a broad range he wanted to: “start getGeorgia Coles-Riley: NUS Women’s Conference of views, cementing rivalting a move on getting an The NUS Women’s Conference approved policies ries and demarcating difauthoritative stance on not such as 100 percent support for UCU and free eduference. SURHUL NUS just how institutions should cation for all. The Conference discussed the GenDelegate, Beth Bridewell, der Equality impact of the government’s Budget: be funded but how students said of the event: “this is research by the House of Commons Library found should be funded.” Working the crucial time to make that 72% of the savings identified in the budget will with the TUC, building a decision. You have one come from women’s pockets. Motions put forward by towards 2014 was also top against another for all to of his priorities.

Royal Holloway were approved by a decent majority.

The most intense debate had ‘anti pornography’ feminists clashing see their strengths and So what does the future with delegates in favour of the legalisation of sex work, the latter ul- hold for NUS leadership weaknesses. This is the timately gaining a majority. Estelle Hart was elected as the National in the forthcoming year? best environment to pass Women’s Officer by a strong majority. Hart’s opposition was Jade Chomping at the bit, Liam judgment.”

Thomas Byrne, the self- Baker, VP Education at Westminster University. spoke in interview with an confessed “fourth candiair of caution. He knows date” stood as the most more than anyone that his timid of candidates, sticking to his unto these Tory millionaire scumbags?” victory cements nothing. “I honestly popular line of sympathising with the Standing as the most radical of the don’t know if I’ll re-run,” he said. “If government. “David Willets has got a four candidates, his campaign is there’s anything I learnt off Aaron it’s lot right, he has some good policies,” marked out with the socialist red that twelve months can change a lot.” l

“Why should we be on our knees, begging to these Tory millionaire scumbags?”

S

regulars@theorbital.co.uk

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14

IN YOUR

VIEW

“Like a duck to water” Dan Woodruff

“I snapped this in Richmond Park on my Lomo LCA with redscale film. I really liked how these two ducks were attempting to sleep amongst other ducks which were going a bit crazy on the lake” Please send in any submissions you have to regulars@theorbital.co.uk with the subject line as “In Your View”.15

REGULARS

the science of...

SUNBATH Starting his quest to reveal the nitty gritty behind everyday activities, our resident scientist, Chris Pull, tackles the pleasure of sunbathing

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f you have just had the stress of six weeks revising, likely failed at least two exams, and you only left the library to OD on caffeine, so have now been medically diagnosed albino, then you are in dire need of a holiday.

Yes, some sun, sea and sex (preferably not all at the same time...although?) are definitely what the Health Centre ordered. Enough vodka ‘fishbowls’ to support a small marine ecosystem should probably be thrown in for good measure as well. With a holiday to Malaga with Holloway’s LGBT society (‘Poofs On Tour’), I am hoping to fully recuperate from the worst few weeks of my life. However, one of the best parts of all holidays is the imperative tan.

There’s nothing better than meeting up with your friends, looking like a piece of dried beef, whilst they turn various shades of envious green. And with graduation just around the corner for many, looking good in a

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robe has never been so important.

Tanning has always been a controversial subject. Some swear that a healthy tan is good for the epidermis. Others are so obsessed with ‘looking hot’ that they skip the sun altogether and have a direct debit set up with a Fake Bake dealer.

Still others go to extreme lengths to avoid the Sun’s carcinogenic death rays.

Sunlight is made up of different wavelengths of radiation, the most important for tanning being ultraviolet waves. When your skin cells absorb sunlight, the UV radiation excites DNA components , causing them to vibrate so vigorously that the bonds holding them together break. This leads to a sunburn, a reaction to DNA damage. Your body can repair broken DNA, but the repairing agents, DNA polymerases, sometimes fail to put the DNA back together properly. This causes a genetic mutation, and results in abnormal growth of a skin cell, which then forms a tumour which is skin cancer.

However, it’s not all doom and gloom.

UV absorption increases Vitamin D production, used in controlling calcium for strong bones and a healthy nervous system. This is why in nursing homes they regularly sit the brittle-boned OAPs outside on sunny days. More

Enough vodka ‘fishbowls’ to support a small marine ecosystem should probably be thrown in for good measure as well.

But, studies have shown that tanning can increase the risk of skin cancer by 3x, adversely affect the immune system and cause earlier wrinkle development. Humans are naturally protected from sunlight, thanks to the melanin in our skin, which is dark brown in colour and acts to absorb the energy of the sunlight and release it as heat instead.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Photo: Mathieu Riviera

HING impressively, the DNA mutations that UV light cause are likely to have contributed to much of the diversity in the world around us. When humans first migrated from Africa, they adapted to the lower light levels in the Northern Hemisphere by reducing pigmentation in the skin, to ensure they could absorb enough vitamin D, which caused racial evolution.

Finally, there are the aesthetics. Some people can pull off the whole twilightesque look, but most of us just begin to look ill and translucent by February.

This is why we all flock to get a space on the cheapest Ryan Air flight to some sunny isle to sit, sorry, roast for a week by the pool (don’t forget to put your towels out early, before the Germans do!).

You can go some way to reduce the risk of burning and skin mutations, by applying sun tan lotion. Wearing lotion does not stop you tanning! You will still tan, and you can gradually reduce the SPF, as your melanin builds up to sufficient protection levels. Wearing sun cream significantly reduces the risk of skin cancer, and should be applied 15-30 minutes prior to exposure for full effectiveness.

In conclusion, people will continue to tan, despite health risks, because it makes them look hotter. But, to quote Mary Schmich, ‘ladies and gentleman, wear sunscreen’ when you hit the beaches this year. It’ll make your tan all the better, knowing you gained it relatively safely. So, go forth and have a great, bronzed-up summer; dance, drink and take a well deserved break from all the hard work you managed to squeeze in around all the dancing and drinking you’ve been doing all year anyway!

regulars@theorbital.co.uk

D O

Science

o

RHUL RESEARCH

Y O U

It is always nice to know what is happening within our very own campus walls. As a leading research institution, we feel it is only right to showcase a selection of recent findings.

W A N T

4Animals are more random than we thought Animals searching for food do not stick to a complicated pattern of movement as previously thought but tend to wander about randomly. Professor Vincent Jansen from the School of Biological Sciences at Royal Holloway said: “Understanding individual variation is crucial for interpreting the collective movement patterns of animals.

This research will open the way to better understand animal search and behaviour and work out how it has evolved.”

Y O U R

4Cerebellum important for mental skills Our Psychology department has found evidence that the cerebellum, a part of the brain used to store memories for skilled movements, could also store memories important for mental skills – such as the rules used to interpret traffic light signals. Dr Ramnani said: “The study adds to the groundwork for understanding cognitive deficits in patients with cerebellar damage and improving strategies for their rehabilitation.” Not only this, but Dr Ramnani states “It also raises the possibility that the cerebellum might be used for the skillful, automatic and unconscious use of mathematical and grammatical rules.”

O W N

4Plants like a grandfather clock Scientists have identified that plants use a mechanism similar to a grandfather clock to activate a gene that regulates when they flower. Dr Paul Devlin explains: “For the first time we have identified the mechanism that the plant clock uses.” He continues, “In a grandfather clock, the mechanism is driven by some force, a weight or a spring, that moves the hands forward while a pendulum forms a timekeeping mechanism to regulate that movement. In plants we show that light provides that driving force.” This research is said to be a step forward in crop productivity.

R E G U L A R ?

4TB vaccines better administered A recent Royal Holloway study shows that a new orally delivered tuberculosis vaccine produced higher immune responses than the injectable version. According to RHUL’s own Dr. Simon Cutting, “Tuberculosis remains a serious health risk in developing countries and kills millions each year. Being able to administer a TB vaccine orally will make a huge difference.”

4Evolution in action A new RHUL study suggests that a genetic variant that reduced chances of contracting diseases like TB and leprosy is more common in populations with a long history of city-living.

Pitc Says Dr. Ian Barnes, “This seems to be an elegant example of edit h an evolution in action. It flags up… the development of cities for a or@the idea to o cha as a selective force.” nc rbita

+

l.c e own to hav o.uk e yo colu ur m

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REGULARS

The Vie w the Oth from er Side An anonymous, cynical insight into the most annoying and amusing observations that come from working at the Students’ Union.

Bored of your token drink from the SU? Try this instead...

Double vodka and coke. G&T. VK. Sourz. Fosters.

Jagerbomb. Tequila. Sambuca. Snakebite. Red Stripe. Carlsberg. Bored yet? We serve you the same old drinks time after time. Why not order something different next time you come to the bar?

We suggest that you take, well we’ll take: l l l l

One Corona One shot of Tequila One Red Bull One Pint Glass …and there you’ll have yourself a Raging Bull!

Trust us... Size does not matter!

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[Note from the VPEdWelfare: much as this sounds delicious (not), I thought I’d better chip in with a ‘word of welfare’. As the old wives’ tale says, mixing drinks is NOT good, but be warned: mixing alcohol and energy drinks is even worse. Be careful, you have been warned!]

1. “DOUBLE VODKA CRANBERRY, FOUR SHOTS OF SAMBUCA AND TWO PINTS OF CARLSBERG!” No. This is the Bottle Bank. We have VKs. And that is all.

2. The inexplicable Jager obsession Royal Holloway seems to have developed. Why should we have to jump on the ‘JAGER TRAIN’?

3. Hearing the echoes of “Hey Jude” resounding as we attempt to pick up empty VKs from around your feet.

4. Finding used condoms, bloody tissues and all manner of exciting things at the end of the night.

5. People pissing in restricted areas - you know who you are!

6. A big shout out goes to those of you at the end of night, grinding impressively to ‘Shawty fire burning’ as we pick up crap from around you. This definitely restores our faith in romance.

7. The bar shuts at two. Sticking your head under the shutters as they close will not get you served.

But it may injure you.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Union Watch: Come In Your Kit 25/05/2011

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Film

“It is difficult to say if the film is worse than parts 2 and 3, but it is no better”

Editor: Rana Banna reviews@theorbital.co.uk

Photo: Jerry Bruckheimer

µFilm Review Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

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Interview: The Comedy of Errors, RHUL Quad Production

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Book Reviews: Distance the world of exams with a good old summer read

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Write for us: All you have to do is get in contact pitch an idea. We also have regular writers’ meetings

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4Film & TV 4Music 4Theatre & Arts 4Literary

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Finished your exams? Looking for something to do with your newfound freedom? Stay away, then, because Pirates 4 is as fun as revision.

‘On Stranger Tides’ sees Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) looking for the Fountain of Youth. Everyone else has the same idea. What follows is the pirate equivalent of the Wacky Races.

On paper, this should have worked. It features mermaid and zombies. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley are gone, leaving more room for Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush to antagonise each other.

Despite all of this, the experience is surprisingly boring.

The film mistakes action for entertainment. Swords are unsheathed every few minutes, leading to an overabundance of swashbuckling. All of it is chaotic; none of it is memorable. There is never a sense of purpose or consequence, so there is never any tension.

It is difficult to say if the film is worse than parts 2 and 3, but it is no better.

PotC 4 is not as fun or as epic as it tries to be, and fails to salvage this soulless wreck of a franchise. Ced Yuen

µFilm Review Thor Summer is here! Between sunbathing and going to the pub, you may find time to check out this season’s blockbusters.

Look no further than ‘Thor’, the first comic book picture of the year.

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is a prince of the mystical realm of Asgard. He is vain and reckless, and his actions cause King Odin (Anthony Hopkins) to banish him to Earth to learn the meaning of humility.

As with most superhero films, there is spectacular action, but this one is different. It focuses more on character development than on super-powers, which makes the

protagonist more likeable and believable than the average superhero.

Those who know nothing about graphic novels need not be put off: 'Thor' is a Shakespearean tale at heart.

Familiar themes of power struggle, sibling rivalry and lessons in morality make this a universally accessible story.

This film is everything that a comic book movie should be.

It is balanced between its fidelity to source material and its accessibility to newcomers, between serious narrative and mindless fun. After those exams, this is exactly what you need. Ced Yuen

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Music

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Gaga at Radio One’s Big Weekend

Photo: Freya Helstrup

Giant eggs, towering head dresses and bizarre outfits made of meat are just some of the crazy things that we can attach to a certain Lady Gaga’s name. Yet her recent performance at Radio One’s Big Weekend in Carlisle displayed a tamer monster- no fancy sets, no sirloin steaks, just a whole host of her best tunes (and plenty of studded leather and red lippy to go with it). The crowd went ever so slightly berserk as Gaga belted out a medley of Telephone, Alejandro and Poker Face. A killer dance troupe that consisted of muscular men in nothing but loin cloths surrounded Gaga as

she burst onto the stage with new song, Judas. The crowd was also treated to an awesome rendition of Just Dance which saw Gaga trying her hand at playing the drums. The fame monster also took things down a notch with a beautiful performance of Speechless which stunned the audience into silence. All in all, Gaga totally stole the show- her performance gets a solid four out of five stars for me. Hit youtube and wack on some of her live performances before a night at the union- then just dance the night away…

Imogen Nation

µAlbum Review The Strokes: Angles of Happiness could easily feature in the opening credits of Baywatch. Julian Casablancas’s vocals are as sultry and scraggy as ever and the guitar solos are the cute and crisp type that we expect from Valensi. Gratisfaction is undoubtedly one of the best tracks on the record, So those boys from The Strokes’s return? the verses sounding New York who we The truth is, I’m in like something off know and love are two minds about this an early Thin Lizzy back with their album. Part of me ap- record. highly anticipated preciates the eclectic, Under Cover of album, Angles. But dare I say, 80s feel to Darkness is the first are we satisfied with record. The opening single release from the sound that marks chords to Two Kinds the album. Ok it’s

reviews@theorbital.co.uk

pretty good, actually very good to be fair, but its no JuiceBox or Reptilia. What has happened to the big tunes, boys? I find myself waiting for a build up and change of pace that never seems to come. If you are working a hangover after a messy night at the union or just chilling out on a sunny dayAngles is the album you want to listen to.

Whatever your opinion, just be grateful that they’re back- it’s been too long!

Imogen Nation

Playlist #1 µSummer tunes for you to enjoy in the sun

What You Know Two Door Cinema Club Unorthodox Wretch 32 feat. Example Shining Down Lupe Fiasco feat. Matthew Santos Save the World Tonight Swedish House Mafia King of Anything Sara Bareilles Beautiful People Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi Time Chase and Status feat. Delilah Grown Ocean Fleet Foxes Easy Please Me Katy B Under Cover of Darkness The Strokes Make Some Noise Beastie Boys Guilt Nero Bounce Calvin Harris feat. Kelis

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REVIEWS

Theatre

µInterview Beatrice Galloway speaks to Abby Jones, Director of ‘The Comedy of Errors’ Photo: Bruce Asher

So Abby, how and why did you come to direct ‘The Comedy of Errors’?

It’s my third year so I wanted to direct a play before I go. I wanted to direct Shakespeare because I was sick of seeing Shakespeare plays done badly, where people don’t understand what they are saying. I wanted to be able to produce something that is back to basics, really good quality which focuses on the language, and that everyone can have a bit of fun with.

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This play is full of ridiculous and hilarious confusion. How do you make sense of it all?

(Laughs) It was difficult! You have to read it quite a few times. But once you actually see it, it’s not really complicated, it’s just funny. The whole point is that the audience is in on the joke, so they see all the things going wrong and they can laugh at the characters.

Do you have a light-hearted cast to match this light-hearted play?

(Laughs) Yes, I’ve got a few jokers in the cast. Quite a few people got cast because they are funny.

‘The Comedy of Errors’ features sets of identical twins. How did you go about casting these roles?

Well originally I wanted to use one actor for a set of twins. But then I realised this would ruin the whole point of the

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Literary

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µBook Reviews Summer Reads audience being in on the joke. The audience need to know that they are not the same people. We can always have a trip to the hairdressers!

Rehearsing during exam period must be tricky. How do you deal with that?

It’s just a question of being sensible about it. It’s always difficult in the summer term because people always have so many different things on. You just have to try and balance it and just make sure that when people are there, they are committed.

I heard you went to see a production of ‘Comedy of Errors’ up in Bristol. How was is it and in what way did it inspire your ideas?

It was very helpful because it was the sort of production that I am trying to put on. It was traditional, good Shakespeare in traditional costume so the comedy of the writing can come out above everything else.

You said that you want the focus of this production to concentrate on how the language is actually funny itself. How did you make your cast very familiar with what’s going on?

I have a language advisor and we sit down with a scene and completely take it apart and look at what everything means before we actually put it on its feet. I have found that it has improved people’s performances massively. For me that’s the best way to go about it: to dedicate yourself to language before you start on the acting.

And lastly, what advice would you give to future Summer Quad directors?

I would say make sure you’ve worked on a quad production before; it’s different from any other production on campus so you need to know what you’re doing. And don’t get downhearted when everyone has other priorities apart from you (laughs), and have a lot of fun with it!

reviews@theorbital.co.uk

The Sea (John Banville)

One Day (David Nicholls)

If stretching out in the sun with an unsettling and captivating read is top on your list of summer to-do’s, then John Banville’s The Sea certainly ticks that box. The Sea tells the story of Max Morden who, drawn by a dream, decides to return to the seaside town of Ballyless, where he once spent many a childhood holiday. But this journey into his past is not simply one of nostalgia or evasion; it is a recent loss that has impelled the narrator, Max, to confront a past trauma.

The eerie tone of this novel is the perfect read for those long hours spent lounging in the garden, or on the beach,

The night of your graduation is looming, whether you’re a first or third year.

This book shows how significant that night can be - at least it was for Emma and Dexter in David Nicholls’ One Day. The book begins in 1988 when Emma and Dexter meet on the night of their graduation. The story revisits them every year on that date, either separately or together, providing us with a vivid snapshot of their lives and relationship. Due to this effective concept, at the end of each chapter you’re left wanting to know where their lives have taken them one year on, and you find that the situation has

Let the dull realism of exams be forgotten with some fiction this summer; but the atmosphere of uncertainty engendered by Banville’s haunting and stifled prose will absorb you unremittingly, so be sure to apply the sun-cream!

changed in surprising, but believable ways. One Day is a realistic, funny, sometimes sad, romantic comedy that can appeal to both men and women.

The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger) Let the dull realism of exams be forgotten with some timetravelling fiction.

The Time Traveler’s Wife opens with a perplexing scenario.

Clare has known Henry her entire life, yet at the opening of the novel he doesn’t know who she is. We discover that Henry suffers from a genetic condition that causes him to be wrenched to his past and future without warning.

Over many years, he is pulled back to the meadow where he and Claire meet and fall in love. We follow their story, filled with love, loss and loneliness, enhanced with the element of time-travel. The end of the novel has a sad inevitability, much like the relationship of Clare and Henry, as they know that their future is already mapped out for them. This is an original, imaginative and unique twist on the traditional love story.

The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories (Tim Burton) If, with your newly found freedom from the library, a novel is the last thing you want to delve into after a hard year of study, then perhaps something simple, to match your newly idle lifestyle, is just what you need. The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories is just what you would expect from a collection of short stories written by the darkly comic director Tim Burton.

The collection, which includes titles such as ‘The Boy with Nails in His Eyes,’ ‘Brie Boy,’ and ‘Melonhead,’ centres around the unfortunate lives of a group of absurd, young characters whose experiences exemplify the inescapable cruelty of life. These witty, and fantastical stories (accompanied by fantastically bizarre illustrations) are addictively amusing and will make delightful summer reading for even the most educationwearied of brains.

Gemma Cresswell and Lauren Keen

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o e l y t s e f Li

Make Up

4A step-by-step guide with a few ideas from Dalia Filippi

Editor: Elinor Gittins lifestyle@theorbital.co.uk

The Smoky Eyes A Hollywood Look Everyone’s heard the name before, but everyone’s also seen eyes that look less smoky, and more panda-like. According to Dalia, the most important point to remember is to blend the edges.

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You need:

2 brushes (one hard, one soft)

Feature: Our summer and gap year guide for those graduating and returning

2 shades of eye-shadow (one dark and one lighter) Eyeliner and mascara

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Summer Listings: Three months of listings, on campus and off

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Meat or Veg? A culinary guide the capital

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4Fashion 4Travel 4Listings4Food

How to do it:

Use a harder brush to pat the colour onto your eye, and the softer brush to blend the colours.

You can either choose to apply the darkest colour to the lid and blend it into the lighter colour on the socket (the indented part) or you can apply the lighter colour to the lid and apply the dark colour to the outer corner.

Dalia recommends you use a matte, light shade of eye shadow underneath the eyebrow to highlight the look – one shade lighter than your skin tone is perfect.

Finally, apply eyeliner, mascara and define the eyebrows. Dalia has used a golden brown and a dark brown, but you can also opt for a black and a grey. To dramatize the look, smudge the dark colour under the eye, but remember, with a dramatic look, you should keep the lips natural.

Using eyeliner - it may seem easy but it’s actually one of the most difficult aspects of makeup.

You need:

Black eyeliner Fake eyelashes (recommended) Red lipstick (recommended)

How to do it:

Firstly, you need to be able to imagine a line that extends your waterline (the line underneath the eye). If you traced this imaginary line, you would eventually meet the end of the eyebrow.

On this line, you need to draw a flick with your eyeliner and continue to make a triangular shape that crosses through your lid to meet your lashline (the line above the eye).

But don’t apply this line too high!

You can create a cat-like look by applying the eyeliner in the corner of the eye, slanted downwards. However, this does create a dramatic look and a small shape in the corner must be balanced by a dramatic flick.

Finally, smudge some eyeliner below the waterline and use fake eyelashes to emphasize your flick. Always use mascara to blend your eyelashes with the fake ones. The look is complemented with classic red lips.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Fashion

As the year comes to an end, we all still have a lot of parties, events and nights out planned.

Whether you’re adding the final touches before Summer Ball, getting ready for the End of Year Blowout or going clubbing in London, make-up can make or break your look.

W A N T

Photo: Fagner Carriero

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T O

Summer Colours How would you like to go a little bright this summer?

You need:

Two brushes (one hard, one soft) 2+ similar shades of eye-shadow Eyeliner, mascara and foundation

How to do it:

Use a hard brush (or alternatively, a finger or cotton bud) to pat the main colour you want to use onto the lid.

Apply a similar colour, such as a lighter variation of the colour, around the lid and use the soft, fluffy brush to blend them together.

Always tone down bright colours with black or brown eyeliner and mascara. Define the eyebrows and use foundation.

When using brights on the eyes, you should balance with a bright lipstick and blush.

To create an extra bright look, spray some water onto the hard brush before use.

*

Pitch an idea to lifestyle@theorbital.co.uk OR... just get in touch to join the mailing list from which articles will be regularly commissioned. We also have regular writers’ meetings.

lifestyle@theorbital.co.uk

W R I T E F O R L I F E S T Y L E ?

Fashion Forecast

4Our predictions for the summer season Looking at the crowds in the quad, it seems that the autumnal feeling of mists and mellow fruitlessness are finally gone, despite the sun’s best efforts to convince us otherwise. In any case, June is traditionally when the summer looks, celebrated by the fashion world in September, come to the fore. With blue skies above us again, eveningwear adopts a fabulous ease. So, what can we expect in the upcoming months? What, in the daring and exuberant world of fashion, can we have to look forward to?

Royal Holloway, there is plenty to get excited about. High summer is here, and with it, kitsch prints and bright citrus colours. From block colours to florals, and from the hedonistic 1970s to lavish oriental style prints, fashion has definitely been re-injected with a sense of fun this summer.

Whilst Phoebe Philo’s minimalism, clean lines and sophisticated nude tones were lovely in their own way, I’m surely not the only one silently thanking

Marc Jacobs for the 1970s revival trend currently taking the high-street by storm. With pleated maxi-skirts, florals galore and flared silhouettes everywhere from Derek Lam to Topshop, retro glamour is in full swing. And just in time for the Summer Ball and our last Blowout.

Fashion loves the strange, fanciful and downright outrageous.

With falling hemlines, a changing silhouette and a complete shift from camel to colour, bright statement jewellery or a bold masculine watch can add a dramatic edge to your eveningwear. Whoever said less is more? Just add heels, and be sure to bounce it all off bronzed, sun-soaked skin. Why not head to a tanning salon in Staines before term ends?

And what of the boys?

Summer days mean fashion in its purest form – fresh, crisp, cotton.

What is more evident of summer’s arrival than a sun-bleached, crisp, white shirt, cream blazer or panama hat – wear it just so, with an air of raffish charm. Kate Hasslet

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? g n i t a u d a r G Reaching your ns you are final summer mea out life in the forced to think ab h as the gap yah ‘real world’. As muc hing me cliché, it somet marlarky has beco year nsidered. Taking a co ve ha us of y an m ens ni or afterwards op off either before U s. tie ili a world of possib up, quite literally, Gittins and Ulrike Let gappers Elinor eir e a snapshot of th Chawiche provid ell as providexperiences, as w for an ing some options alternative.

Photo: Trey Ratcliff

India I spent over two months travelling and working in India. I planned my stay through an organisation with the cheesy name: GapGuru. My experiences were amazing. I stayed with a family that prepared deliciously spicy meals for me everyday. I thought I would find it hard on my stomach, but even now, I still yearn for my idli and chutney breakfast. I was an intern at the New Indian Express for two months and wrote a whole range of articles for the city supplement. I was whisked onto the back of a photographer’s motorbike each morning, found myself racing through the chaotic streets of Bangalore to a cricket player’s book release, a master chef ’s cooking show or a rockband’s debut.

Friends of mine found places at schools, orphanages, hospitals and publishing offices. In our spare time, we took morning yoga classes on rooftops, haggled for

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fresh fruit and took weekend trips to the most bizarre places. I met people that astounded me and I will never forget the experience of India.

Costa Rica I took a very spontaneous trip to Costa Rica to work on a turtle conservation project. Because I booked it through a Costa Rican organisation, the experience was incredibly unique. It allowed me to settle in the most remote village where the whole community was dedicated to the protection of their beach. Despite my limited knowledge of Spanish, I soon felt like one of them. We took shifts patrolling the beach for leatherhead turtles laying their eggs. They were slow but majestic animals, and we were able to admire one for hours at a time. Yet, the best moment was watching the THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Travel

! h a y p a g a e Hav

little ones hatch and sense their way into the sea - the perfect demonstration of animal instincts. In my free time, I took surfing lessons from the village hippie. He could smell a change in the waves and feel a dangerous tide coming. Before I knew it, I was out at sea

catching a wave. I still visited the tourist hotspots but I realised how much more there is to explore. Sometimes we find a secret paradise.

Australia and New Zealand I have one piece of advice for you if you plan to visit Australia on your gap year – stop planning! Just book a flight there and everything will sort itself out. On the east coast, you can buy a bus ticket that lasts an extended period of time and lets you travel down the coast at your own

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pace. You just need to pick a direction.

I booked mine with Premier Motors which I found cheaper than the popular Greyhound Bus. Most hostels will pick you up from the bus station.

It’s really easy to find a short-term job once you’re there. On notice boards you’ll find offers from hotels, restaurants and fruit harvesters. I worked at a resort in the Whitsunday Islands. I would strongly advise you not to visit Australia without stopping by New Zealand, and, if you have the time, Fiji.

New Zealand is nothing like Australia: it’s green, populated by sheep, and of course, the set of the famous Lord of the Rings films. Finally, your trip is incomplete without an exhilarating skydiving experience.

Photos: Elinor Gittins & Byronic Hero

Returning? Have a break!

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ooking for a new European city to visit this summer break? Instead of facing the overpopulated capital cities and culture hotspots, why not try the alternatives. Airlines like Easyjet and Ryanair often offer cheaper flights to smaller cities as opposed to the capitals.

Here is a list of cities with good flight connections to the UK that you should try out.

Perpignan Part Catalan, part French, Perpignan is the ideal springboard for travels along the Mediterranean coast. The street names are also marked by their Catalan names and in 2008, the city was named the Capital of Catalan Culture. A possible alternative Barcelona? Yet a route to Spanish cities like Girona or even Barcelona can easily start in Perpignan. Or stay put if you prefer to laze on the beach or hire a boat out to sea. The last weekend of August brings a wonderful festival: the lifestyle@theorbital.co.uk

Guitares au Palais. The festival includes main stream pop artists as well as traditional acoustic guitarists.

Europe visit during the summer and transform the riverside into a chain of parties.

Maastricht Instead of braving the crowded canals of Amsterdam, why not discover the picturesque Maastricht? No windmills, tulips or clogs, but a melting pot of Spanish, Roman, French and Belgian history. Walk along the old, cobblestone streets and stop for a coffee or a beer. It’s the perfect place to stop and soak in history or meet the large mix of locals before moving on to Belgium or the rest of the Netherlands.

Thessaloniki An unforgettable cultural hotspot in Greece, Thessaloniki offers fine dining and non-stop nightlife. Not for the budget travellers as shopping is chic and parties are fancy. If you’ve been saving for a special holiday splurge, then this is the place to be. At any point during the summer, you will have a handful of art shows, live artists and bashes to choose from. The city is full of young people that add a stylish, energetic attitude to the city. You don’t need to head to Athens and visit the Parthenon, Thessaloniki has plenty of landmarks to gawp at.

Porto The birthplace of port, why not come here to sample some? The city offers a spectacular architecture with winding lanes, narrow staircases, extravagant churches and cosy squares. The youth is returning to this city as galleries and nightclubs open. DJs from all over

LIFESTYLE

June-August

THUR 16-SUN 19 JUNE

Quad Production

£7 (£5 NUS)

Performed by Royal Holloway students, Shakespeare’s ‘The Comedy of Errors’ will take place in the South Quad, providing an excellent opportunity to relax with friends in the sun before the end of term.

Visit rhulcomedyoferrors.blogspot.com for more information.

highlights

Photo: Zwei Zuei

MON 6-THUR 9 JUNE

June

Medicine 9 June, FREE! It’s Great, It’s Late, It’s FREE. Every first and last week of term, Medicine opens up for a late night of fun. With the bar open until 2am, it’s a great opportunity to get warmed up for Summer Blow Out. Summer Blow Out 10 June, £7.50 A night of endless possibilities and a final way to say goodbye to Royal Holloway for the summer. According to the new Bar Manager, we have four great acts lined up along with many give aways and acts wandering around the queue and the

July dancefloor. Be sure to not miss this one.

Get your tickets online or from the box office.

Royal Ascot 14-18 June, £19-£69 A prestigious national institution and the centrepiece of any British socialite’s summer calendar. A day at the races combines tradition, fashion and outstanding sporting talent. Formal attire is essential and Champagne in the picnic hamper is highly recommended!

Wimbledon 20 June – 3 July, £33-£110 Celebrating their 125th year, Wimbledon Tennis Champi-

Henley Royal Regatta 29 June-3 July, £15-£20 For some, Henley is a uniquely revered annual rowing championship.

For others, it’s an unmissable event in the social calendar, where exceptional style, food and drink come together to form the perfect British summertime event. Although not compulsory in the Regatta Enclosure, a smart dress code is encouraged.

Goodwood Festival of Speed 1-3 July, £10-£116 The largest motoring garden party in the UK, bringing together an

onships are an iconic part of the classic British summer. This year’s competition will see the world’s finest players from over 60 countries compete. As ever, strawberries and cream on Henman Hill are a must-have treat.

exhilarating mix of cars, motorbikes and sporting celebrities.

This unique cultural event provides an unmissable display of all things automotive, outstandingly engineered and, of course, extremely fast. iTunes Festival 1-31 July, Free This month-long line-up offers a diverse range of live music performed at the Roundhouse in Camden, including Duran Duran, Linkin Park, Adele and Swedish House Mafia. This is no ordinary festival however, as pairs of tickets are not bought, but won in an online draw, although every

Photo: Kolt Regaskes

SUMMER LISTINGS 38

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

Listings

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MON 29-TUE 30 AUGUST

4Beach Break Live Whether you’re a festival first-timer or looking for a long camping weekend for cheaper than you might find elsewhere, Beach Break Live is the student festival for you. Located on the beautiful South Wales coast, boasting a chilled, positive vibe, and headlining Tinie Tempah, White Lies and Katy B, we are sure you’ll get your money’s worth.

Photo: Danny North

£99

Notting Hill Carnival

Established in 1966 by the West Indian community of Notting Hill, the carnival is now a lively and thrilling street festival - the largest of its kind in the UK. The streets of West London will come alive once again this summer with the vibrant music, costumes and food of the Caribbean.

Free entry makes the carnival all the more student-friendly, and it’s definitely the closest you’ll get to the Caribbean without leaving the Capital.

FREE!

Photo: Jim Shannon

August

session is recorded for download from iTunes so you won’t miss a thing. Apply for tickets at www. itunesfestival.com/ gb/lineup.

Silfest, 16 July, £14, £4 to camp An small independent music festival held every summer at Silwood park, Imperial College’s campus in Berkshire.

Live bands perform on an outside stage during the day and DJs spin their stuff in a 19th century manor house through to the early hours. DJs this year include Dj Ono and Late Night Munchies.Visit www. silfest.co.uk for more information.

Edinburgh Fringe 5-29 August, Prices vary With over 2,400 performances on offer, there is something for absolutely everyone at the Fringe.

Whether you prefer dance, live music, comedy, theatre, alternative contemporary shows, or simply taking a chance on something new, come along. This year, students from Royal Holloway are performing Haverfordwest – even more reason not to miss out.

V Festival 20-21 August, Weekend £175 Ever-popular with university students, V Festival prom-

ises, once again, to come up with the goods. It has announced headline acts Eminem, Arctic Monkeys, Rihanna and Plan B. The new option of luxury camping packages is ideal for those who favour VIP comfort to baby wipes and dry shampoo.

Reading & Leeds Festivals 26-28 August, Weekend £192.50 Reading and Leeds festivals take place simultaneously on the August bank holiday weekend.

They share a similar line-up, which, this year, includes the headliners My Chemical Romance, The Strokes (Read-

ing), Pulp (Leeds) and Muse. These events are not for the faint-hearted, so cast aside your inhibitions and embrace the festival spirit and inter-camp rivalry just don’t lose your wellies!

Cinema under the Stars, Syon House 18-21 August, £10 Watch your favourite films under the stars near Sunninghill.

The films being shown include Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, The Kings Speech and It’s Complicated Gardens open at 7.30pm for guests to picnic, films will begin at approximately 9pm.

Kate Maguire picks out the cultural highlights on campus and off, ensuring that there is something for everyone lifestyle@theorbital.co.uk

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LIFESTYLE

Food

Meat or Veg?

Have you ever spent an afternoon wandering through London looking for the perfect restaurant? Sometimes, after weeks of Hub or Founders food, I crave a delicious healthy dish without overcooked vegetables. Other times, I need to forget about my student budget and dine on a big plate of meat. Read on for six restaurants that will please the taste buds of both healthy veggie-fanatics and hungry meat-lovers.

Words by: Ulrike Chawiche

Ayoush London & Eton

1001 Night comes to life here! A little bit over student budget but it’s worth it. I can highly recommend the lamb tagine, a traditional Moroccan dish with prunes and apricots. Yum!

Byron Burgers All over London

For the perfect burger go to Byron. They are freshly prepared and definitely better than any you’ve had before. Choose from the classic, cheesy, chicken or vegetarian one. They are simple but tasty!

Sticky Fingers 1a Phillimore Gardens, London

If you crave steak or ribs then come here!

This USA-style diner offers all the meat you can eat. Try the hickory smoked ribs or the traditional rib eye steak.

Photo: Powerplanttop

Cubana 48 Lower Marsh, London

If you want to have Cuban-style plantains and delicious vegetarian empanadas, then this is your restaurant. All prices are student friendly and the colourful interior makes you feel you’re in Havana. Make sure you order rice with beans as a side!

Yalla Yalla 1 Green's Court, London

This is Lebanese street food for everyone! Hummus, tabboulé, original Lebanese pastries and moussakaa are all on the menu.Order lots of dishes and share them with your friends. Eating with fingers is more fun!

Vitaorganic 74 Wardour Street, London

Photo: Lolly Knit

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This tiny restaurant in Soho is bursting with fresh, healthy and, most importantly, organic ingredients. Their philosophy is simple - all their meals ensure the highest grade of vitamins.

No artificial flavours or over cooked vegetables. I recommend the sprouted chickpea curry and the Greek salad with Brazil nuts. There is an incredible buffet during the week.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

o t r o Sp ocs &S

RHUL Chelsea language lessons

Editor: Vacant Guest Editor: Ben Parfitt sportandsocs@theorbital.co.uk

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Womens’ Football A review of this years’ award winners

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Lads? We’re not sure.

Decide for youself !

sportandsocs@theorbital.co.uk

4RAG 4Review of the year 4Game On!

RAG Week: A year in which the record books where smashed

The College’s Widenresponsible for encourag- and team mascot, Staming Participation and ing collaboration between ford the Lion, is often at hand to guide the student Outreach department has schools and the college paired up with Chelsea – has adapted the existing through the lesson. and Arsenal to teach language programs and Wendy Buddin, Acting Spanish and German provides football coaches. Education Manager at languages through the They also use undergrad- Chelsea, explained the medium of football. It is uate students from the reasoning behind the hoped that the themed department of modern newly-formed partnership: “We think that it’s lessons and incorporalanguages to deliver the tion of physical activity educational program. very important for young will inspire youngsters to Widening Participation people to have a posipursue modern languages and Outreach Officer, tive attitude to learning through to higher educa- Tanya Popeau, comlanguages. We hope that tion. mented: “Football is KickStart Spanish and Arsenal formed their something that is loved German will give them an exciting experi‘Double Club’ after years of which en“Maybe if I was able to learn ence courages them to experimentation. After Spanish with football I could continue studythe team’s ing languages have told Torres ‘double’ winwhen they get ning season older.” not to join Chelsea” of 1998 – in Gavin Byrom, which they claimed both right across the world, a member of Royal Holthe FA Cup and Premier with famous footballers loway’s team behind the scheme, is an avid Liverleague titles – a scheme spanning across many pool fan. “Growing up in that fused football with countries and speaking literacy learning was many different languages. football-mad Merseyside piloted. This involved a We have designed a as a Liverpool fan, I wish 45-minute literacy lesson range of exciting resource there was a scheme like aided with Arsenalmaterials which we hope this,” he said of the Chelthemed resources, will inspire and encoursea Kickstart program. followed by a 45-minute age young people to enjoy “One regret now is that football coaching session. language learning.” my modern language skills are awful. Maybe if I Having been inspired by Chelsea’s ‘Kickstart’ the Arsenal story, 13 other program is a spin-off from was able to learn Spanish football clubs currently Arsenal’s Double Club. In with football I could have offer similar programs. the Spanish lesson, activi- told Torres not to join The Widening Parties involve filling in the Chelsea.” ticipation and Outreach spaces of a Spanish inter- Ben Parfitt team at Royal Holloway – view with Frank Lampard

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SPORT & SOCS Photos: Barry Eyre, Will Bennett & Graham Allsop

Cycle 350 miles for Right To Play 4Ben Parfitt recounts his experiences on last year’s Brussels to London cycle and urges all students to consider the 2011 ride It began on a whim, an impulse. Before I knew it the form was completed and my registration pack had arrived. It was not until I was stood in Brussels last July, bike in hand, with 300 miles of road before me that the exact nature of my subscribed feat began to dawn. The pledge in question? Three days of cycling that would take me through as many countries and would grant thousands of children better lives – so went the sales pitch.

I can wholeheartedly recommend this charity challenge. Right To Play, the beneficiary in question, is a progressive charity with a very genuine ethos and is a cause that lies close to my heart. The ride itself was refreshing. Clocking up to 100km a day, travelling across the flats of France and over the North downs alongside 200 fellow dogooders was conducive to

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a cracking few days away from home.

This year Right To Play are running their third annual cycle ride. Beginning on 29 June, 200 riders will set off from Harlequins’ R.F.C homeground, The Stoop in Twickenham, to arrive in Western France to watch the first stage of the Tour de France.

Right To Play is the world’s largest sport for development organisation and, as the official BUCS charity, enjoys a rich following from students throughout the UK. Sport and play are used as tools for the development of youth in the most disadvantaged areas of the world in order to teach important skills and qualitites including leadership, respect, self-esteem and conflict resolution.

Olympic star and Tour pro, Mark Cavendish, urged everyone and anyone to take part in the charity

ride. “It’s the closest you can get to the tour without competing with me!” he said. Right To Play riders will have the privilege of a behind the scenes experience with Cavendish’s team, HTC-Columbia, on the first stage of the tour – a day that he is likely it be tipped for victory. “See you on the finish line in France,” said the 10-time Tour de France stage winner.

Though this event is sure to please and satisfy those who partake, there is most certainly a grander message: your efforts really will count. On hearing the success of last year’s rider’s Dr Khondker, Right To Play’s Regional Director of East & Southern Africa, congratulated and thanked all those who took part. “Great work. There stories always motivate us to strive to do better in the field.”

Contact ragchair@su.rhul. ac.uk for more information.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

RAG

RAG week s mas h es targe t

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Photo: Ben Parfitt

4Tom Parfitt looks back on a year in which RAG looks set to quadruple last years efforts.

What does RAG do? Raise and Give money to charity – it’s as simple as that. It is ultimately an umbrella brand for all the charity fundraising at Royal Holloway done by students. They hold events and others hold events on their behalf. Student RAGs have organised events to raise much needed funds for a variety of local and national causes for well over a century. This year RAG is on target to raise an estimated £40,000, contributing to an estimated national total raised of £50 million.

People can get involved either through their own society with events put on with the help of the RAG board, or becoming part of the board itself.

Getting involved not only gives some-

will make a huge difference to peoples’ lives.

The money raised by RAG was handed over to Felix Holman, StreetInvest Director of Programmes, at the recent annual Laurels ceremony which celebrates SURHUL’s diverse activities.

The money raised by RAG will be used to support Ivy. Born in Harare, Zimbabwe, Ivy was sexually abused by her father when she was a child. She eventually ran away, aged ten, and stayed on the streets until she was 15. She was found sheltering under a bridge with her two month old baby by an agency working with street children and, having been supported through a process of habilitation, now works part time as a volunteer street worker.

The RAG week total will enable “StreetInvest supports Ivy simply because few StreetInvest to support Ivy for other adults will spend over five years. any time with street children in Harare,” Felix explained. “We thing back, but also provides opportufund Ivy with a volunteer’s allowance nities for amazing events and learning that enables her to conduct youth work skills, whether it is simply writing at weekends; she works with young articles or scaling Mount Kilimanjaro. street girls particularly, counseling and Thanks to a number of societies and advising on all matters ranging from outstanding individuals, RAG put on a sexual health advice to running dance whole week’s worth of great events to workshops.” The RAG week total will raise money for StreetInvest, a locallyenable StreetInvest to support Ivy for based charity that helps children living over five years. on the streets across Africa. RAG week The week began with local RAG raids was a huge success, raising a remarkin Egham and Staines, raising £365 able in excess of £2,750 – over £1,000 with the help of the RHUL Tomcats’ more than in 2010 and a sum which cheerleading. Fernando Meirelles’ City sportandsocs@theorbital.co.uk

of God played at the film night in the Arts Lecture Theatre, followed by the Photo Exhibition. In the traditional Slave Auction, one member of the RAG board even bought the Women’s rugby team to clean her house, once again displaying the diversity of talent and charity spirit at RHUL. Holloway’s Got Talent also took place, which was won

by Emily Bartlett.

Next year’s board look set to organised a ‘Jailbreak’ which sees students try to beat the clock, racing to get the furthest away from their campus as possible in 36 hours – all without spending a single penny on transport.

Universities such as Manchester, Bristol and Warwick send up to 300 students off per Jailbreak, raising thousands of pounds for different charities. Skills of persuasion are essential to charming a way into cars, buses, trains, planes and so on, in order to win the competition with an exciting story to tell.

Previously, students have managed to get as far as Arizona, Washington DC, Hawaii, Hong Kong and Tokyo.

Evidence such as photographs at landmarks and copies of local newspapers are often needed for evidence and students can be tabbed via online tracking. Once the teams reach their destination, it is up to them how and when they return home. With RAG becoming bigger and better at Royal Holloway, we think this would be a perfect event. So, as we prepare to top this year, keep your eyes peeled and get ready to jailbreak.

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SPORT & SOCS 4Sophie Dand highlights the top players in Womens’ Football this year

After a season of both highs (the introduction of a second team and promotion into BUCS 1A for the 1sts, oh and that little thing called team of the year…), and lows (losing out on BUCS cup final to UCL), the women’s football club awards were set to be a fun occasion, with the celebration of individual triumphs topping off the team success celebrated at colours ball!

football captain as ‘the best female goalkeeper I have ever seen’, Krissie is loved both on and off the pitch.

Most Improved Player Sabrina Purser Coming to Holloway as a center midfielder Sab’s first season was spent at the unfamiliar role of center back. Sab’s presence in defence and slide tackling ability are second to none and opposition players are scared of her strength.

This season she has proved herself as a top quality center back who will next year make a fantastic captain.

Players Player Krissie Glover Krissie this season was enjoying her 4th year as Holloways first choice goalkeeper. Being hailed by the Men’s

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remarkable achievement she earned two hatricks and two man of the match nominations.

Captain’s Player Amarpal Bajwa There is no one more deserving of this award than the extremely versatile Amarpal. Having played a vital role in the centre of the pitch alongside many interchanging centre midfielders, she has proved herself to be more than capable of taking on different positions.

First Team Winners

Top Goal Scorer & Coaches player Lou Tindall Lou is one of the most prolific strikers women’s football has ever seen, scoring 36 goals in 30 games this season.

Lou’s speed is feared throughout ULU and BUCS. Always first to arrive to training and last to leave, Lou winning coaches player was deserved. Head coach Andy Wright described her as ‘a pleasure to coach’.

Photos: Sophie Dand

Captain Player Ellie Bryans Having a strong encouraging and motivational presence both on the pitch and in the changing room Ellie is much appreciated by everyone on her team. Always giving 100% into game situations, making strong tackles and forward runs to help the attack, captains player this year was an easy choice.

Second Team Winners

Top Goal Scorer Steph Radosevic Steph has been the most prolific goal scorer this season, finishing with a more than impressive total of 11 goals over 10 matches. Within this is

Most Improved Sophie Bradford As nominated by the team, this year most improved player went to the captain. Sophie improved on her technique and fitness having a remarkable impact on a new team both on the pitch and off. Her ability to motivate and inspire must also be noted as well as the two goals she scored this season.

Player’s Player Elly Woods As voted for by the team, this year’s award went to Elly due to her contribution to the team being second to none. Described by her teammates as having a “vital presence on and off the pitch”, Elly finished the season with a hatrick in the last match to demonstrate further why she deserved this award.

Best Newcomer Alice Brighty As voted for by the team this year’s award went to incoming President, Alice. Always the life and soul of the party, Alice has made a remarkable impact on the club and hosted pre-social drinks on a regular basis. Women’s Football 2011/12 looks to be an exciting year with this one at the helm.

Send in your team review of the year to editor@theorbital.co.uk to see it appear on the website.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

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Review of the year

Rooms, ratifications & rejections

Photo: Ben Hine

A good year for squash 4Ben Hine, Squash Chairman looks back on an incredible year for the club which blended a cocktail of match results, charitable activities and a vibrant social social calendar

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he Squash Club has undoubtedly seen one of its best years ever over 2010/11 with all aspects of the club soaring to new heights. The teams have performed better than ever before, the charity and volunteering contribution from the club has exceeded all others (RAG club of the year and over 600 hours volunteering clocked up with cybermentors), and the social life, which needed no improvement, has been as vibrant and well attended as ever.

The key social event of the sports calendar, the Colour’s Ball, was a chance for us to really show off our achievements and commitment to squash and we did so in style. With two full tables roaring in the name of squash, no-one was in doubt that the Squash Club was the place to be. With huge achievements including two Athletic Union Crest Awards (To Ben Hine and Julie Peachey) and RAG Club of the Year 2010/11, the night was an enormous success; and the celebrating lasted well into the night.

I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate every single member of RHUL Squash on their outstanding efforts this year, and that it is down to them that the club has had such a phenomenal year. We have really managed sportandsocs@theorbital.co.uk

to establish ourselves as a club to be recognised within the college. It is also a very sad year for the club, as we are losing many key members this year (and incredible players) with special mention to Julie Peachey and Jamie Pearce, who have helped make the club this great from the very beginning of their time here. We will miss them and all the others greatly.

But with loss comes new gain, and with a fantastic new committee (under the leadership of the new President Charlie Bruinvels), RHUL Squash is looking only upwards for the coming year. This begins next week as Squash help out as part of volunteering Week 2011 on a large project. We look forward to seeing everybody out and about volunteering and at the union during the final weeks of this amazing year. I am lucky that I have been part of this success so far, and doubly lucky that I get to take part in the next two years of what is sure to be even bigger and better things for squash. Squash Army!

If you would like to try your hand at squash then please come find us at Fresher’s Fayre 2011/12 in September.

Everybody is welcome!

Ben Hine

Concerns have been raised that student groups have struggled to secure rooms on campus to hold meetings. This year academic year 15 new clubs and societies have been made official by the Students’ Union and The Orbital has learned that decisions concerning ratification may be swayed by expected demand for room bookings.

It has come to light that some societies have stated that they will not require room bookings or funding in order to secure their ratification. The Students’ Union Student Activities department manages room bookings and it is through this channel that all room bookings must be made one week in advance. The college will not normally deal with students directly.

Non-ratified groups have resorted to informally booking rooms directly through students’ own departments and some ratified societies meet in Imagine and Crosslands to avoid difficulties of booking.

Student Activities Committee (SAC) member, Hayley Thair, is among those who decide if a proposed club or society is to be considered by the Sports or Societies Councils, respectively. Hayley acknowledged the limited space available but stressed that diversity was considered over room bookings.

She explained: “We probably have a problem with limited space due to so many being ratified in the past that are too similar to other groups and therefore we have an excess of groups, hence why the committee is having to be slightly more strict now to prevent the formation of identical societies.”

Florence Johnson, also a member of SAC, explained that the Students’ Union has, “secured new rooms on campus for use next academic year.

The re-configuration of the SU building will also provide more communal space for clubs and societies to hold informal meetings.”

Ben Parfitt

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GAME ON! SPORT & SOCS

Where the lads and lasses of Royal Holloway battle it out. Get in contact to put a team-mate or society member forward. All entries to editor@theorbital.co.uk

Which sportsman will come out ahead in our ultimate ‘lad’ test?

Can Dan Houghton the footballer prove himself the hooligan? Or will Basketball’s Adam Smith slum dunk da funk?

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DAN HOUGHTON First things first: what’s your hardest training routine?

“Went for a week football trial at Southampton Football Club and literally 9-5 non stop fitness including running, weights, army 1 drills etc.”

When I play flat out all day.

So fellas, what has been your most horrific night out ?

“Ended up on a park bench and got woken up in morning by a bloke walking his dog.”

I was ejected from a club, began to walk home, fell asleep in the snow 8 miles from my house and miraculously got taken home 1 by a friend, driving back at 4am.

Ever done an allnighter before training?

“Least amount of sleep is about 2 or 3 hours.”

And where’s the worst place you’ve vommed?

“Probs be in my car whilst driving on the motorway and puked on my lap LOL.”

Have to ask, how much can you bench press?

“Don’t bench press lol soz!”

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C’mon then, spill the beans on your initiation.

“Had to do a dirty pint with an egg, tuna, beans and lager in it. I was tied to my mate all night as part of the initiation and had to go into the toilet with him vomming.”

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The president challenged the American import to a drinking contest which resulted in the latter passing out in the SU toilets sur0 rounded by his own vomit.

And finally, are you a lad?

“I am a big lad, just ask the ladies!”

FINAL SCORE

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ADAM SMITH

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Honestly the minimum I have managed is about 4 hours; training is too hard to pull an all-nighter!

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Out of my top floor kitchen window after playing beer-pong with the team; still went out afterwards!

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Hah, how much does the bar weigh?! No, normally between 30 and 40kg.

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2.5 Danny boy, vomming in the car is gross but we were impressed by your eloquent grasp of TXT TLK. But at the end of the day, you just can’t cut the mustard at the ‘lad game’. Hit the bench and man up my brother.

A friend would never ask, a gentleman would never tell. But yes.

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3.5

You were done over by the competition on the training ground so don’t rest on your laurels. Your top-floor danger-vom was highly illadvised and and next time you find yourself in the snow, make sure you wrap up warm.

THE ORBITAL JUNE 2011

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We hope you have enjoyed our first issue under the efforts of the new board. Please get in touch if you have anything to say! We hope you have a great summer, be sure to come back and pick up a copy of The Orbital Freshers’ week edition.

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