THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN
Issue 3 May 2016
THE MAGAZINE FOR ALL GENTLEMEN
THE BOOK ISSUE An Interview with
Guy Fraser-Sampson Suited & Booted Books Romantic Literature That Every Gentleman should read
Manners, Panama Hats, Report from Washington & trips to Hong Kong & more
photo by CAFB
WWW.THEPERFECTGENTLEMAN.TV
CONTENTS Page 3 4-5 6-11 12-13 14-13
Page From the Desk of #1PG
24-25
A Gentleman Talks Guy Fraser-Sampson
27-30
Culinary Gentleman
32-34
Cultural Gentleman
36-39
Travelling Gentleman
40-45
Junior Gentleman
46 - 47
The PG Schedule
48 - 50
The Perfect Lady
Gentleman's News Stylish Gentleman Suited & Booted - Panama Hat Our Man in...Washington D.C. Groomed Gentleman The History of Grooming
15 - 19
Romantic Gentleman's Bookshelf
21-23
Mannered Gentleman Table Manners (part 2)
From the Desk of #1PG
Dear Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome to the 3rd Issue of Magazine, this month we have the first of our themed months and this one is all about Books and we celebrate literature in all manner of ways. We were inspired by the Hay on Wye Book Festival, which takes place in Wales at the end of this month. Alongside this, it was the 400th Anniversary of the death of Shakespeare last month. Therefore, we thought we would honour these and more of our literary greats with a whole month celebrating the power of the written word. Personally, I developed my love of literature at a very early age. I was a very sick child and spent a great deal of time in hospital, in those pre-internet days, there was not much to do but read. I remember reading Lord of the Rings when I was about 10, it set my preteen imagination alight. I devoured books, everything from the classics to the modern books at the time. I discovered the daring do of heroes such as D’Artagnan, Simon Templar, Sir Percival Blakeney, Sherlock Holmes and more. The genius of Wodehouse, Dickens, Chandler, Austen amongst others. This was part of the reason that I inhabit my world; one of honour, style, manners and courage. Our Gentleman Talks is a delightful Interview with the author Guy Fraser-Sampson. We review his new book, Death in Profile. James Marwood recommends books to guide every Stylish Man. I delve into Romantic Fiction that every man should read. We choose some inspirational books for Young Gentlemen. In our first Culinary Gentleman section we talk classic Cookbooks and finally our Perfect Lady, Leah Morrigan talks about a fictional Gentlemen she admires. Though not book related but with get literary reverence, we talk about the History of Grooming. We travel to Hong Kong with Paul Ernst. Ruairidh continues his guide to Table Manners. Last but by no means least, we welcome our newest contributor in Grant Harris, who is Our Man in Washington. We hope you enjoy your Literary Gentlemen this month. Join us next month as we delve into Summer.
Most Gentlemanly Yours,
Zach Falconer-Barfield #1PG
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GENTLEMAN NEWS
GQ Most Stylish Fashionable Men GQ in the USA released its list of the most Stylish Men Alive. As we have discussed previously, we have a thing with use of the words Stylish & Fashionable. Though some certainly can be thought of as Stylish, some are purely followers of Fashion. Maybe it’s time for 2 lists?
Hair Raising News!
Stand on the Left, Right! London Transport, here in the UK, tried to instigate a new set of etiquette rules for going up escalators. Usually, we stand on the Right & the left is for those who wish to fly past. To ease congestion London Transport attempted to make people stand on both sides of the escalator. The great British public completely ignored them & stuck to the tradition. Don’t mess with British & their Etiquette!
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Men are getting slicker, Men’s Haircare in on the rise. According to Mintel, the Men’s Hair care market will increase by 11% over the next 5 years. This on top of the news that men spend more on general toiletries than shaving products. Keep picking up the products men!
GENTLEMAN NEWS
Teaching Manners with Ice Cream In a harsh but fair example of how to teach Manners, reality TV star, Jamie Primark Sullivan, threw away her kids Ice Cream when they did not say Please or Thank You. She posted the story on Facebook & it went viral and she was roundly applauded. Mrs Sullivan, please add the sound of our hands clapping loudly to the throng.
Waving Goodbye to Austin Reed The Men’s High Street retailer has been put into administration. Austin Reed was one of the first mass producing Men’s Retailers in 1900, they were at the vanguard of Menswear dressing Churchill & The Beatles. It will be a sad day when their flagship Regent Street store closes it’s doors. We salute your heritage, Austin Reed.
Our Man in Washington - Grant Harris We welcome our newest Contributor to the fold, Grant Harris. Grant is the founder of Image Granted, a Washington D.C. based menswear consultancy. He is a respected industry authority both in the US & overseas. We are delighted to have Grant in our Magazine & on our podcast.
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STYLISH GENTLEMAN
Suited & Booted Books on Style By James Marwood Few of us men get taught about dressing well. It’s not covered in school and parents rarely understand enough themselves to really teach the foundations of style. At the same time we are bombarded with dubious fashion advice and advertising designed to shift product. It’s not surprising that we often don’t understand the basics. With a few notable exceptions (Put This On, Permanent Style and hopefully ourselves) the internet doesn’t do much better. Bloggers and magazines normally focus on glossy spreads with fashion advice. All well and good but not useful for men trying to look their best. We’ve talked before about the unhelpful vagaries of fashion and how important it is to understand the basic rules of dressing well. We have likened style to a language, with its own unique and flexible rules. How then do we learn this language?
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As with learning any other foreign tongue the answer is often found in books. Here then are 5 useful guides for the modern gentleman looking to learn more about style. Basic grammar guides with all the basics you’ll need. First we go with three books from one of my favourite writers on any topic, G. Bruce Boyer. Mr Boyer is a journalist of the old school, an English professor and a very stylish man. He focuses on classic dress, with an emphasis on what he calls the English Country House Look. This draws on the interior design work of Nancy Lancaster, focusing on relaxed and slightly rumpled elegance. It is about comfort and quality as much about looking good. Boyer is also second to none on the history of menswear. If you want to know why a particular style developed or the history of a particular shoe then he’s the man to ask.
STYLISH GENTLEMAN My first recommendation of Boyers, Elegance (Norton, 1985) is a little dated now in it’s discussion of suppliers but the majority of the book is worth it’s weight in gold. He devotes chapters to things such as buying a suit, the value of custom made shirts and the use of accessories such as loafers and hats. He also discusses some of the more unusual items such as madras patterns, cowboy books and #1PG’s beloved seersucker. I picked up my copy second hand in London, but it is available online. Just be careful not to be confused with Boyer’s similarly named book on fashion of the 1930s. Secondly I’d suggest you pick up a copy of Boyer’s Eminently Suitable (Norton, 1990). This focuses on business attire, especially suits. In this Boyer traces the later history of the suit, from the early drape suits to the oversized zoots to the re-emergence of the classic drape in the late 80s. This is mirrored in what we’re seeing today with designers finally starting to step away from the over-tight and over-short urchin suits. Peppered with fantastic anecdotes and witty asides, this book is a great introduction to the evolution and purpose of the suit. With simple line sketches and diagrams it shows exactly how a suit should be proportioned and advises those of us shaped unlike a tailors dummy how to get the most from our clothes. If you’re an unusual shape, rotund or muscular, tall or short, then this is an ideal book to get you started. This is another book you’ll need to seek out as it is sadly out of print. However it is well worth the effort to do so.
G Bruce Boyer
In his latest book True Style (Basic Books, 2015) Boyer devotes the first chapter to the cravat or ascot. This shows the delightful focus of this book of articles. Disdain for fashion, a love of style and mischievous humour, all in the first few pages. In the following chapters Boyer gives useful advice in a funny and irreverent way, interspersed with advice and useful diagrams. He also takes wonderful diversions, eviscerating habits such as wearing brogues without socks. The advice is more modern and so more useful than in the earlier books, and this is also the most fun to read. I think even someone with only a passing interest in dressing well would enjoy this book. It’s only recently been published and so is available in most good bookshops and online.
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STYLISH GENTLEMAN My next recommendation is a very different style of book. Simon Crompton’s Tailoring (Hardie Grant, 2011) is a small, compact book covering only suits and tailored coats. It’s designed as a practical guide for the man looking to buy a suit and covers all the basics, from buying off the rack to made-tomeasure and bespoke. It explains cloths, designs and how to get a good result from alterations. It’s not as witty as Boyer’s books but it is chock-full of useful advice on everything from wearing tweed to choosing your pocket design. As followers of Simon’s blog (Permanent Style) will know, he has a fantastic eye for colour and detail and this shines through in the book. This is published as part of the Le Snob series, and is available easily online and in larger bookstores. It’s a small pocket book, with a lovely tactile cover and design. My final recommendation is my bible. The book I refer to more often than any other. It is Alan Flusser’s incomparable Dressing The Man (Harper Collins, 2002). This large tome is a carefully structured textbook on dressing well. Broken down into 3 main sections, the first chapters explain in detail the importance of colour, proportion and pattern. These are the basics of any kind of dress, and they are essential reading for the man looking to get the most out of his clothes. The next section of chapters focus on key items such as shirts, suits, neckwear and socks. Using illustrations, photographs and clearly laid out text, this is the perfect primer on the basics, Flusser also dedicates a chapter to the thorny topic of Business Casual which is far more common now than when written.
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With a final glossary and bibliography, this is a great jumping off point for the more serious student. The book is in print and is readily available. It is large so it may be easier to find in larger bookshops. If your budget is tight or space is a concern and you can just get one of this books then which should you choose? My first choice with be Dressing The Man. However it is large and quite expensive, so Tailoring may be a better introduction. However don’t deny yourself the pleasure of Boyer’s books. They’re all excellent and his prose is a delight to read. Not many writers can cause involuntary deep belly laughs when discussing the minutiae of neckwear. What books do you recommend? Have you read these and have comments? Please let us know and we’ll mention them on either the podcast or here in the magazine.
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STYLISH GENTLEMAN
in praise of the
Panama Hat by Zach Falconer-Barfield
Perhaps a little strange for a Book themed issue to talk about Panama Hats, but the Panama Hat has a long history of being associated with the style & the world of entertainment from authors such as Truman Capote to Noel Coward to celebrities such as Arnold Schwarzenegger & Lauren Bacall. It has graced the silver screen in To Kill a Mockingbird, Casablanca & Gone with the Wind to name but a few. It is a symbol of stylish summer & great travels. If you did not know Panama Hats are not from Panama but hand made in Ecuador. The name is thought to come from the fact that they were purchased in Panama by people traveling through the Panama Isthmus on their way to the California Gold Rush. It was indelibly etched in the public’s conscious by a photo appearing around the world of the US President, Theodore Roosevelt, wearing one. He was visiting the construction of the Panama Canal in 1906 wearing the hat & it’s name was then forever linked to the place.
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The Panama Hat is also a chameleon it can come in many shapes & styles from the Fedora to the Trilby. The quality of the product is about a couple of key factors: The quality of the straw & the count of the weave. For a true Panama Hat the Straw should come from the toquilla palm which is native to Ecuador, then it is about the colour, the finer & the more alike the straw is the better. As for the quality of the weave it is how many weaves per inch. The finest hats have over 2000 weaves per square inch. These masterpieces can take many months to make. Indeed these greats are generally made by the master craftsmen of Montecristo in Ecuador. Contrary to popular belief you cannot roll all Panama hats, in fact there are specific types of hat that are suitable for folding, these have a ridge down the centre of the hat.
STYLISH GENTLEMAN Like many products today you can find ones at any budget from less than ÂŁ100 ($150) to many thousands of dollars for the higher weave counts. I would recommend looking at getting a hat with around 400 weaves per square Inch and will set you back a few hundred dollars. The thing I like about the Panama is the versatility.
You can wear it casually with a summer shirt & a pair of shorts whilst sipping a Cuba Libre on a beach. Or wear it with a lightweight suit in the Summer whilst working and neither looks out of place. In fact I frequently do both! As we start to think about the summer sun, let's bring the hat back into fashion and go out & find yourself a delightful Panama Hat.
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Our Man in...
Dear Gentlemen, Manners. Etiquette. Chivalry. The gentleman. All dead. Or are they? In an age of ‘manscaping’ and the ‘man bun’, the ‘gentleman’ is becoming an endangered species. Few and far between are the men who bend over in order to pick up what a lady has dropped or who would offer a helping hand to the elderly, or send a proper hand written thank you note. Are there still men who would not speak ill will toward his fellow man and instead take the high road of honor and dignity eschewing the depths of narcissism and cruelty? Investigation is required. As I pen my first article for The Perfect Gentleman, Washington DC is in the midst of an election year where the presidential race has taken on a form never seen before and which may never be seen again in the way politicians debate, manipulate, and speculate toward their fellow man. Without claiming allegiance to one particular candidate or predicting a victor prematurely, I can say that the display of decidedly ungentlemanly conduct is a sad state of affairs not only for Washingtonian men but the global male population watching and listening from afar. There is an all too realistic possibility of Washington’s male population advancing through manhood without actually having become a man; nonetheless a ‘gentle’ one. But can we blame Washington and it’s politicians for the plight of the gentleman? There are only a handful of etiquette schools and/or experts in the DC area dedicated to putting a halt to the degradation of the mannered man. Many, if not most of the etiquette schools based in DC are focused on dining etiquette--no elbows please-- and rearing children in how to comport themselves through pay-as-you-go courses. While this is certainly a noble cause and worthy of praise, it leaves much to be desired when it comes to defining who and what a ‘gentleman’ is. For this we must look at the history of the word itself. Today’s society generally equates the word ‘gentleman’ with a man who consistently displays good manners. But as all societies have shown throughout millennia, what is common today was uncommon in previous generations. According to sources there are several origins and definitions of the term “gentleman”. First, mostly likely having Latin roots beginning in circa 1200; “gentilis”, meaning ‘gentle’ and later compounded from the French “gentilhomme” (gentil meaning ‘gentle’ and homme meaning ‘man’), was the lowest position of English gentry. As the term evolved through the ranks of aristocracy it become understood as, “any well-educated man from a good family of distinction”, and who at one time or another generated an income--either earned or inherited--who was independently wealthy and did not need to work.
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Our Man in... As late as 1789 the U.S. depiction of the gentleman was, "a man of property, not engaged in business or a profession.” Although the beginnings of the phrase had less to do with the mannerisms of the man and more to do with his birthplace, property, and wealth; the English are credited with labeling a gentleman in general as a “nobleman whose behavior conforms to the ideals of chivalry and Christianity," and which later translated to, ‘any man of good breeding, courtesy, kindness, honor, and strict regard for the feelings of others.’ After dissecting the original meaning of the phrase it is no wonder why the men of the 2016 presidential race have been acting--both literally and figuratively-- in the manner they have. Like previously stated, nothing about the true origin of being a gentleman had to do with treating others kindly or with respect. Should we then be surprised that gloating, propaganda, defamation and other underhanded tactics are the order of the day even in the midst of the only member of the fairer sex remaining? So, the questions remains, is the gentleman as defined by history dead? I choose to believe by faith that there is hope for the gentleman--no matter his wealth or social standing-overall which lies in men like myself who as a humble member of the DC cohort choose to take it upon themselves to be better versions of their former selves. This extends to my personal relationships in my own home and to the residences, offices, and social watering holes of others. I cannot personally bear the burden of admonishing every man in the metro area who forgets to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. I can however, have my voice heard and my actions seen not only at the voting polls, but more importantly with my young daughter who I hope understands what it means to be a gentleman, not just because of my words, but because of my actions. Also, to my potential unborn son, for whom I routinely contemplate how I could guide him in the way he should go and to navigate life with as much gentlemanly behavior and as little personal baggage as possible. After all, as world renowned etiqutte maven Mrs. Emily Post once said, “a gentleman does not boast about his junk.” Yours Sincerely,
Grant Harris Our Man in Washington D.C
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Groomed Gentleman
The History of Grooming
by Zach Falconer-Barfield
If you think that Male Grooming only really started with the Metrosexual era of the mid 90s or that Hipsters discovered a fascination for facial hair in the last decade you would be gravely underestimating the vanity of your fellow historical Gentleman. Male Grooming has been around for many thousands of years, indeed there is some evidence that it has been around for tens of thousands of years! Archaeologists have discovered that Neanderthal men used primitive tweezers to pluck hair from their bodies, as well as using mud & more to cleanse & decorate themselves. It wasn’t though really till the Egyptians that men got truly vain. They shaved using copper razors, wore false beards, used scented oils as deodorants. They even had makeup, the black kohl eyeliner for men was around in those ancient times.
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Initially the greeks loved their beards, emulating their gods with long powerful viral beards. Though this changed with Alexander the Great, who was probably the first great exponent of male grooming. He kept his hair short, was clean shaven & expected his men to all do the same. This was the start of the modern barber shop, in deed it was a Greek business man that introduced this concept to the Romans. The Romans always ones to take things up a level, did so with Male Grooming. The Barber shop soon became the place we equate it too today. Not only do you get your hair cut but to do business, gossip and it was the place to be seen. On top of that, we all know about the Baths, the Massages but men enjoyed of that time also enjoyed Manicures, Pedicures and MakeUp. They dyed their hair, waxed (using a sugar solution) and rouged their cheeks.
Groomed Gentleman With the fall of the Roman empire, you would think the hairy Goths & grubby Vikings would forget all about male grooming. Well, you would be mistaken. They had combs, tweezers, toothpicks and nail cleaners. They even used kohl makeup, so much for the macho Viking image. The fading of Male Grooming, comes through in the Middle Ages & the rise of Christianity and the other monotheistic religions. The Christian Church had strict rules on grooming and suppressed the use of makeup and flip-flopped on beards being godly or not over the centuries. It was not till the reign of Elizabeth I in England that Grooming made a comeback. They used Rosewater for the hair, sage to whiten & clean the teeth. They used lead to whiten the skin & dyed their hair with caustic materials, this was not so healthy for them. For this brief period Male grooming made a strong come back, during this time the French & Italians discovered perfume & used it liberally.
Male Grooming did not fade away, though the use of makeup did. Men now discovered that needed to make ablutions to present themselves well and went through all manner of facial hair fashions just as today. In the early 19th century they started wearing wigs to cover baldness and antiperspirants came into prominence by the middle of the century. At the end of the century, the first safety razor became patented. It did not take the world by storm till Nickerson & Gillette made the T-shaped disposable razor, which we know today. We are in the modern golden age of grooming, were men are thinking as much about their appearance as they ever did. In fact Male spending on cosmetics & grooming is growing, year on year, we are catching up with the ladies. There is more products & barber shops than ever before, you really have no excuse. Gentleman, don’t let the historical forebearers show us up, let us keep neat, tidy & fragrant!
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Romantic Gentleman
As it is Book Month here at The Perfect Gentleman we will askew our usual guides and advice, giving you some food for thought & romantic inspiration. These great pieces of writing should pull on your heartstrings; give you notions of love and indeed loss. Therefore below is our list of some of the great classic romantic pieces of literature that might just inspire great feats of romance within you.
Romeo & Juliet by William Shakespeare Yes, it’s not a novel but the Bard’s great tale of star-crossed lovers has stood the test of time & many adaptations. It shows that no matter what the barriers true love will keep burning.
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Romantic Gentleman Outlander by Diana Gabaldon If you like your romance more feisty then this time-traveling affair is for you. Married WWII nurse, Claire Randall, is transported back to 18th Century Scotland and gets embroiled in adventures as well as falling for a bold Scottish Warrior, Jamie. Fun, Modern & lively tale of Romance.
The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro Well we couldn’t leave this tale of the unspoken love between the butler, Stevens and the housekeeper, Miss Kenton. A tale of dignity, service, banter & deep love - A truly great book of a different sort of romance.
The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles The tale of a Victorian Gentleman and a Fallen Women, the twist is the author plays with the endings making you decide the possible fate of the lovers.
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Romantic Gentleman
Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak Russians love their sweeping canvases peppered with great human characters. This tale of the love of Dr Yuri Zhivago is probably one of the great modern examples of this. It is poetic, complex and vast, but it does pull on the heartstrings.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo Not one that would usually spring to mind, but this tale of love & betrayal set in great romantic city of Paris is one for the shelf. It covers passion, religion, determinism and indeed architecture.
The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks A beautiful tale of love & romance. There is nothing more to say about Nicholas Sparks work of Romantic genius.
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Romantic Gentleman
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A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
A tale of sacrifice set in Paris & London set in the French Revolution. Unlike most of Dickens other works, it is sparse of characters & subplots. It is not a romance novel in the traditional sense but one of resurrection and the power of sacrifice. The last line is always one that stands out to me - “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.�
We would be hugely remiss if we did not put the Queen of Regency Romance on this list. The tale of Elizabeth Bennett & Mr Darcy is one that has been frequently cited as as one of the great ones of literature and we would be hard pushed to not to agree.
Mannered Gentleman
Basic Table Manners (part 2) by Ruairidh Bulger Rather than coming up with an increasingly pedantic list of dos and don'ts, behaviours that should and should not be seen at various different times, and specific situations, this next article will follow the timeline of a visit to a restaurant in order to lay out some of the best practices for mannerly behaviour that a Gentleman would be aiming for. The setting is a formal dinner in a high end restaurant, as this will provide the most numerous little chances to shine as a Gentleman, and it has been assumed that the Gentleman in question is hosting the meal. Firstly, a little background work should be done on the selection of the restaurant. Depending on the situation (a date, a business meal, a family dinner or a special occasion such as a birthday or anniversary) the type of restaurant that you want to book will be different.
Make sure that you have had a look at the website, or been in to visit a new restaurant to ensure that it will be suitable for the occasion. It is also increasingly important that you consider any dietary requirements that your fellow diners have. Taking a vegetarian guest to a steakhouse will lead to an uncomfortable situation, as will not taking into consideration other special diets (diabetic, kosher, halal etc.) could leave your guests with very little to choose from. When making the booking in the restaurant, give them any information you have on dietary requirements to allow them the opportunity to cater for you guests. If on a date, you might also want to consider how easy the restaurant is to get to. If the lady is in high heels, then think about how far she has to walk. Again, if the weather is not going to be nice, think about how far she might have to travel to avoid the rain or wind.
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Mannered Gentleman If on a date, you might also want to consider how easy the restaurant is to get to. If the lady is in high heels, then think about how far she has to walk. Again, if the weather is not going to be nice, think about how far she might have to travel to avoid the rain or wind. When you arrive at the restaurant, confirm the booking, as well as any additional information you have provided, so that you are sure that the restaurant is aware of any special requests. This will also allow your guests to feel that you are looking after them by considering their special requests. As with all situations, help the lady with her coat (if necessary), and help her to drinks and canapÊs before helping yourself. When you are being seated at the table, help the lady to her seat. If you are on a larger table, help the lady on your right to her seat first, then the lady on your left, then yourself. As soon as you are seated, place the napkin on your lap, where it should remain until such time as you rise from the table. If at any point one of the ladies in your party leaves the table, it is still considered a nice touch for the gentlemen to rise – there is no need to stand completely, but make an effort towards standing – and likewise to rise as she returns to the table. This applies if you are in a bar/lounge, if the lady stands up, the gentleman stands up too.
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Don't order on behalf of others, unless they have asked for you to do so. You might discuss your choices, and it might be acceptable to pass the other's choices on to the order taker, but never decide what someone else will eat on their behalf. It is better manners to allow the ladies to order first, then the other gentlemen, before placing your own order. In the same vein, ensure that everyone at the table is served before you, and wait until everyone has food before you start to eat. Remember to help others on the table to butters, water, any sauces, as well as salt and pepper as described in the first article. Also don't forget the pointers about the bread. For longer meals, there may be a host of cutlery on the table. If you are not familiar with each item of cutlery, then there are a few pointers that make life much less confusing. The cutlery closest to the plate is for the main course. This should stay there until the main course. The other cutlery (depending on the size of the menu) will be supplemented to by the waiting staff as the meal progresses. As the first course comes, use the outside cutlery. The second course, use the cutlery now outermost of what you have left. If at any point the waiters bring cutlery either before a dish comes out, or with a dish as it is served, then this new cutlery should be used for the up-coming course.
Mannered Gentleman As you go through the meal, the waiters (or sommeliers) will change the wines for you to accompany the different courses. Like the food, the wines will become fuller of flavour throughout the meal, so it is best not to return to a wine that you were poured a few courses ago. Let the waiting staff clear the glasses, don't hold on to the last drop of 3 or 4 different wines. Another little foible of dining etiquette is liquids in bowls. If you are eating a savoury course, you are supposed to tip the bowl away from you to get the liquid out of the bottom of the bowl. However, at the end of the meal (for and sweet courses) it is assumed that you would be too drunk to tip the bowl away from you without spilling it, so you are supposed to tip the bowl towards you. That way of you do spill anything, you spill it over yourself, and not the lady opposite you.
Finally, at the end of the meal, as the host it is expected that you will pick up the bill, unless there is another agreement that you have in place with your guests. Don't be afraid to ask how the service charge or tips are divided amongst the staff. It is law in the UK that all members of staff should be aware of how that is divided up. If you have any negative comments, or wish to complain, however, this discussion should be had away from the table, so it does not detract from the experience of other guests. Be generous with a tip, if the staff has gone the extra mile for you. In the UK, the average tip is somewhere between 10 to 12.5%. 15 to 20% would be generous.
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A Gentleman Talks with
Guy Fraser-Sampson
A Gentleman Talks is our series of one to one interviews with Ladies and Gentleman about their life, work and influences, all within the framework of our mission to make the world a more respectful stylish and gentlemanly place. This month we talk to author and polymath Guy Fraser-Sampson. Guy is a former lawyer, turned investment professional and amongst his other achievement is a lecturer at Cass Business School. He is an very established author having written over dozen books from Finance & Investment tomes to his trilogy of Mapp & Lucia books.
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A Gentleman Talks with
We met up at the Corinthia Hotel in London to talk about his life & work & especially his new book ‘Death in Profile’. Which we review elsewhere in the magazine, the first in a new series of detective novels. This is a new avenue for Guy, but as you will find out, one close to his heart. As you will see in the video, Guy is a charming, dapper and truly the Perfect Gentleman author for us to interview in this issue. We end each interview with 10 questions, which we ask every guest. These are graciously modelled on James Lipton’s questions from Inside the Actors Studio. The Interview for the Video is below, do enjoy!
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Culinary Gentleman
By The Suited Chef
Welcome to the kitchen of the Suited Chef, our resident gastronomic gentleman, who will be guiding you through the wonderful world of cooking. We, at the Perfect Gentleman, think that the skill of cooking is one that every man should be able to do, even if it is just the ability to whip up a plat of perfect Scrambled Eggs. In this section we will be delving into the delightful world of cooking, we will be delving into recipes with complete menus for specific situations and easy step by step instructions as well as shopping lists. You will be plating for MasterChef in no time.
We need to to start somewhere, so let us begin with the humble Cookbook. We know you need to start somewhere, so let us put some recommendations that should be on your shelf. There are so many to choose from but our decision came down to classics that have stood the test of time and build the foundations for success with a couple of stretches for the more adventurous. We hope we will inspired you, or at least go you thinking. Keep Cooking with Style - #TheSuitedChef
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Culinary Gentleman Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management or Everyday Cookery By Isabella Beeton This is the book I reach for first if I want to know how to do a basic thing in the kitchen. Mrs Beeton's book was published in 1861 and has achieved legendary status for all cooks since. Yes, it’s dated and some of the elements are irrelevant in today’s world but it has helped me cook for hundreds.
Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child Julia Child is credited to bringing French cooking to America and her book is a superb reference to learn the traditional recipes that are the backbone of great chefs around the world. She was as all great Chefs, a personality of note.
The Joy of Cooking by Irma S Rombauer If Mrs Beeton’s is the prop of the British Kitchen then ‘The Joy of Cooking’ is the American equivalent. It is written by someone who actually cooks for real people and that voice & simplicity comes through.
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Culinary Gentleman Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking by Marcella Hazan Marcella Hazan is the Julia Child for Italian Cooking - she brought traditional Italian cooking outside of Italy. There is no better start to cooking Italian than this book. Yet again another lady who was not a Chef but a Cook, and that sense of practical reality runs through here.
Great Dishes of the World by Robert Carrier The effervescent Carrier was another of those people who fell into cooking but excelled. His tome of recipes from around the world is a great gateway into different cultures.
Kitchen Diaries by Nigel Slater One of the 2 modern cookbooks in this list, it is about simple food done well. Nigel Slater looks at food in a delightful and clean way that makes you wish to be eating whilst reading.
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Culinary Gentleman How to Eat by Nigella Lawson For us, Nigella, is the modern equivalent of the Ladies previously mentioned. Bringing cooking out from behind the mysteries of the professional kitchen. Nigella does it with style and aplomb.
Notable Mentions: French Provincial Cooking by Elizabeth David: The Big Fat Duck Cookbook by Heston Blumenthal
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Keith Floyd
Graham Kerr
Of all the television people that inspired me to cook, Keith Floyd was the one. He was the man that invaded my television with his bubbly charm and ability to cook in the most unlikely places. He was practical, made mistakes, admitted people cooked things better than him and a glass of something was never far from his hands!
The Galloping Gourmet was the other TV series that inspired me, to dabble in the Kitchen. He was fun, full of life and like James Martin today used butter & cream completely unapologetically.
Cultural Gentleman Death in Profile: The Review by Zach Falconer-Barfield
I am biased; I love a good detective novel. In fact, Crime is the first fiction section I head to when I am perusing for a new book, which can be quite often. So, when one comes across my desk written by someone I know & it’s set in a part of London I know very well. I become exceptionally excited. Therefore, I was delighted to pick up a copy of ‘Death in Profile’ by Guy Fraser Sampson, the first in his ‘Hampstead Murders’ series. You can learn more about Guy in our A Gentleman Talks Interview in this magazine, so I won’t discuss the author just the book. It starts after a fresh murder has taken place in a long running serial killer investigation. The team is tired & have yet to find any clues, facing pressure from above, then a new lead detective is brought in and things start to change but is it always for the better. There are struggles within the team; pressure from above; leaks and some serious errors of judgement. Aided along with a little help from a Golden Age detective that may or may not crack the case. Will their mistake catch up with them before the team can find the killer and prevent another Hampstead Murder? I will not spoil the plot, as there are many twists & turns, as you would expect from an accomplished author & fan of this type of fiction.
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Great detective fiction is not really about the crime itself but about the Characters, both on the side of the detectives and the criminals. What Guy establishes very quickly is a team of detectives that are interesting characters blending the ‘old school’ policing with fast tracked ‘Modern Methods’. A each individual in the team is fully formed and sits in the mind’s eye clearly from the ‘coppers nose’ Allen to the smart but management mindedness of Collinson to the right hand man Metcalfe and the new breed of Willis. There are so excellent characters like the eccentric but smart Peter Collins, who provides both assistance & challenges for the team.
Cultural Gentleman The villain of the piece is not as obvious as at first glance and comes a little bit out of left field, but does makes sense and is true to form. The Setting is as much a character as any person. Indeed, I know this area really well and the locations & descriptions are excellent and bring back memories of walking around the area. In fact I even have been in the Police Station that Guy describes, but that is another story. In Conclusion, this is a lovely gem of a British Detective fiction that does hark back to the classic days of the genre, with even some very specific references to the Golden Age. Indeed, I can’t wait for the next murder in Hampstead and neither will you.
Dirty white Boys: The Review by James Marwood
There’s a great tradition of southern American thriller fiction. Often termed Grit Lit it runs the gamut from Elmore Leonard’s fantastic dialogue to Seth Anderson Bailey’s intense action. Sometimes referred to as Southern Noir, these draw on both the books of Raymond Chandler and the formulaic two-fisted men’s action stories of the 50s and 60s. There’s a wide variety to choose from, with varying degrees of quality. However one of my all time favourites is Stephen Leather’s Dirty White Boys. It’s a violent and dark tale, with fascinating characters.
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Cultural Gentleman
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It covers the hunt for three escaped prisoners from the maximum security Oklahoma State Penitentiary and the lives of the policemen who chase them. In a state-wide chase there are shoot-outs, robberies and kidnappings. We also follow the personal problems these cause for the men involved in them. Both the combatants and their families.
The book stands alone, but is part of the much larger Bob Lee Swagger series. The first of these formed the basis of Mark Wahlberg’s film The Shooter and it’s planned that this book will also make it’s way to the big screen. This is being led by the same team that televised Game of Thrones, which fits well with the themes of the book.
It’s strength is the detail with which each character is picked out, from prison hard-man Lamar Pye to the flawed hero Bud Pewtie. It’s pulp fiction at it’s finest.
The book is fast paced, gritty and not for the squeamish. It deals with topics such as infidelity, male rape and racial hatred. It’s not high literature but it makes for a very satisfying read, with all the loose ends tied up, the bad guys defeated and the hero battered but on top. Great modern grit lit.
Travelling Gentleman
A Gentleman’s Guide Hong Kong
No matter how many times I visit Hong Kong, it never fails to satisfy all my wishes. A city with the perfect blends of east and west, traditional and modern, it is the perfect playground for a gentleman. Start with a local breakfast Skip the hotel breakfast and hit the streets for some traditional Hong Kong Breakfast at any local Cha Chan Ting (Food and Drink hall). A local favourite - Satay beef noodles, Hong Kong milk tea and thick toast. Beat the line up at the famous Lan Fong Yuen or Australian Dairy Company.
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A morning stroll Walk off the breakfast in preparation for more eating coming up soon. A stroll through Kowloon Park in Tsim Sha Tsui or Hong Kong Park is a tranquil introduction to the bustling city. Catch the view of the morning sun reflecting on the skyscrapers and the crazy traffic as locals rush to work. Get a tailored suit made Head over to the famous Sam’s Tailor and get a bespoke suit made – it only takes 24 hours! They have been in business for 50 years tailoring for many important people around the world. Have it sent to your hotel or shipped home.
Traveling Gentleman Catch a ferry and tram ride Take the Star Ferry from Kowloon over to Hong Kong Island and enjoy the famous harbour views. Hop onto a ‘Ding Ding’ (the old Hong Kong trams) and travel to the west side of the island, don’t forget to take a snap of the old town houses along the way. Shanghai style Shave One of the last Shanghai style barbers in Hong Kong, Kiu Kwun Barber Shop, has been open for more than 30 years. Get a proper wet shave by the ‘See Fu’ or barber master with his J.A. Henckels Zwillingswerk friodur 72 1/2. Shoe Shining on Theatre Lane Get your leather shoes polished by one of the last ‘shoe polishers’ of Hong Kong. Known as the ‘Shoe polishing lane,’ Theatre Lane has housed this group of shoe polishers for more than 30 years. Avoid visiting during lunch hour when businessmen and office workers from all directions try to get their shoes polished. Lunch Hong Kong is all about food and you will need at least two lifetimes to eat yourself through all the restaurants. I don’t suggest you to attempt this but no trip to Hong Kong is complete without having some delicious dim sum. If you are in Central head over to Soho and join the locals for lunch at one of the oldest tea house- Lin Heung Tea house. Be warned, you will sit together with stranger at this old-school dim sum place.
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Travelling Gentleman Specialty Whiskies and more You will find a real gentleman store hidden at the basement of the luxury Landmark shopping mall. The Whisky Library founded by two whisky lovers showcase their spirit gems from around the globe. Walk through the open door frame and you will find yourself in the middle of a classic menswear store, The Armoury. Nothing beats trying a dram of whisky while looking for the some matching leather shoes or ties for your tailored suit. Cigar smoking in Central Had enough of the bustling city? Take a break at the Red Chamber Cigar Divan inside the Pedder building in Central. This cigar lounge is a paradise for every true cigar aficionado. Relax on one of the plush armchairs and enjoy a smoke while meeting other cigar lovers. This place is filled with bankers and businessmen after work hours. Tea time Hong Kong Style Tea time in Hong Kong is a little bit different the British one. Head to the next Cha Chan Ting you see for some Hong Kong style French toast and some milk tea or pick up some Hong Kong egg tarts at a Chinese bakery. The best one you will find at Tai Cheong in Central. They Taste the best when they are served warm, fresh out of the oven, warm and fluffy. Happy Hour Happy Hours is the new trend in Hong Kong. For meat lovers we recommend the Morton Steakhouse were you get a free flow steak sandwiches when having one of their signature drinks.
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Junior Gentleman
Manners Maketh Man By James Marwood
Manners Maketh Man. William of Wykeham’s advice for young men of the 14th century was true then and it’s true now, as quoted in the Kingsman film. Simple good manners goes an awfully long way to helping you get along in life, and makes those around you much more comfortable and happy. We aren’t talking about the affected rules of some historical court, but practical and sensible ways for the modern gentleman to behave in business and personal life. Good manners should never be stiff or awkward and they should never be a way to make others feel inferior. Instead good manners are about putting others at their ease. They are based on care and consideration for others and the context in which you find yourself. They are about sincerity and the desire to treat people well. They are not for showing off or drawing attention to oneself. They are based on care and consideration for others and the context in which you find yourself. They are about sincerity and the desire to treat people well. They are not for showing off or drawing attention to oneself.
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For a young man starting at work or university they are a great way to break down barriers and make friends. They allow people to enjoy your company without finding you tiring or hard work. They are also the key to romantic success. Ruairidh’s articles in this magazine and on the podcast will give the mechanics of good manners, and these are well worth your attention, but for now lets look at three basics. Listen to other people, don’t just wait your turn to speak. Conversation is not a competition, and careful attention will allow you to both better understand the other person and lead them to pay more care to your words. As #1PG is fond of saying “You get attention by paying attention”. This does mean keeping your phone in your pocket and not letting your gaze room around the room. Don’t be that guy. Be on time. Not just for work, where this is vital, but in any social setting. Be respectful of people’s time. Don’t make them wait for you, and don’t turn up before they’re ready.
International Gentleman Being on time shows you listened to what they asked of you and that you care to comply. In the same vein do what you said you would. If you promise a document (Or an article, sorry editor!) by a certain date then deliver it. If you can’t then let them know in good time. Forcing people to wait for you through thoughtlessness or bad planning is an easy way to upset them and have them think less of you.
To the receptionist or security guard as to your boss. People will notice how you treat others and judge you accordingly. I’ve seen people lose customers and friends because of how they treated someone with less perceived status than themselves.
Simple rules and easy to follow. Keep these in mind and you’ll avoid some sticky situations. You’ll be thought of well and better able to let Finally, be polite to everyone regardless of role your talents and personality shine. or station. Be as polite to the waitress as to your date.
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Junior Gentleman
Inspirational Books For Young Gentleman
By The PG Team
We hope that the young gentlemen of today pick up books as enthusiastically as the PG team did in our youth. We had very little television and certainly no internet so the realms of adventure were in the pages of books. We thought that we would cover in this our Book Issue some of the essential books that influenced our formative years. By all means the list is not as full as it could be, all we can do is hope this list of books inspire you to greatness. Turn off the TV, put the Internet away and discover adventure.
The Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle One of the most legendary heroes of British Mythology, this is the first book of the tale specifically adapted for a younger audience. It firmly established all the elements of the legend we know today. There is nothing better than a bunch of Merry Men & an archery contest.
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Junior Gentleman Captains Courageous & Kim by Rudyard Kipling Rudyard Kipling himself was an adventure filled figure and he wrote adventure filled tales. Captains Courageous follows the adventures of 15 year old Harvey Cheyne Jr. the spoiled son of railway tycoon. He is rescued from the sea & works his passage in the harsh waters of Newfoundland. Kim, on the other hand portrays the adventures of street Orphan Kim in India in late 19th century. Both books are deeply fascinating & full of adventure.
Ivanhoe by Walter Scott This also features Robin Hood, but the tale of Ivanhoe is one of Knights, Crusades, romance & Daring do. It is the tale of knight of one of the last saxon families that aligns with Richard the Lionheart A true Boys own adventure.
The Lord of the Flies by William Golding The story of a group of British school children who are marooned on an island and it tracks their descent into the primitive state of savagery. It is a book all boys should read to understand how close we are from falling off the edge.
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Junior Gentleman To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee This book is one that should be read by all, though it deal with the difficult subjects of rape, murder & racism. It surrounds those topics with warmth, humour & great characters. It is all about moral integrity and quiet heroism.
The Hobbit by J R R Tolkien All we can say is we hope you read the book before you saw the movie. It is best to read this one before delving into the volumes of The Lord of the Rings. The tale of Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf & the Ring contains all the elements that a young gentleman’s imagination can muster of a classical fantasy world.
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas It is a big book, but don’t let that stop you, the tale of Edmund Dantes is epic. It is simply a tale of revenge but one laced with adventure, intrigue and romance. Wrongfully imprisoned, Edmund escapes discovers a fortune & returns to seek those that wronged him as The Count of Monte Cristo. It is one of #1PG’s favourite books, read it to find out why.
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Junior Gentleman How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie The 1st of the 3 non-fiction books on the list: This is one that we at PGHQ recommend to all the time to men of all ages. It was written in the 1930s but every lesson in here is still as relevant today as it was then. If you start young with these lessons nothing will stop you.
The Art of War by Sun Tzu The quintessential Strategy Book. This influential guide dates back to the 5th Century BC and has been used by generation upon generation of warriors across the world. It has been used in boardrooms and as principles of life. It is the first book that a Young Gentleman should read about any kind of strategy.
The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn & Hal Iggulden The Last book on our list is not only fun but packed with useful information, tips, tricks and skills that every young (or indeed young at heart) gentlemen should know & master. Learn to trash someone at conkers, build a pinhole camera and even understand the laws of cricket. Essential Gentleman knowledge.
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The PG Schedule - May
Tuesday 3rd May The Perfect Gentleman Magazine - Issue 3 Out
Sunday 15th May The Sunday Taste - London with Borough Box
Thursday 5th May The Perfect Gentleman Podcast Episode 9 is Released
Monday 16th May 17:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #1PG - Talks Style
Monday 9th May 17:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #1PG - Talks Style
Wednesday 18th May 18:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #1PG - Talks Grooming
Wednesday 11th May 17:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #1PG - Talks Romance & Dating
Thursday 12th May The Perfect Gentleman Podcast Episode 10 is Released
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Thursday 19th May The Perfect Gentleman Podcast Episode 11 is Released
Monday 23rd May 17:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #1PG - Talks Style
The PG Schedule - May
Wednesday 25th May
Thursday 2nd June
17:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #TheSuitedChef
The Perfect Gentleman Podcast Episode 13 is Released
Thursday 26th May
Monday 6th June
The Perfect Gentleman Podcast Episode 12 is Released Thomas Clipper KickStarter Launch
Wednesday 1st June 17:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #1PG Ask Us Anything
17:00 (UK Time) Live Facebook/Periscope #1PG Talks Style
Tuesday 7th June The Perfect Gentleman Magazine - Issue 4 Out The Summer Issue
To add your event to our schedule do please contact us 47
The Perfect Lady
Lord Grantham: A Fine Fictional Gent by Leah Morrigan On the extremely popular television series, Downton Abbey, Robert Crawley is Lord Grantham, Earl of Grantham, steward of Downton Abbey in northern England. The wealthy, dignified aristocrat is the son of the Dowager Countess of Grantham and married to Cora (Lady Grantham) with whom he has three daughters. Robert strikes me as a complex character who straddles the old world and the new. He must adapt to the quickly-changing social, political, and economic realities of the Edwardian age or perish along with the old ways. His Lordship struggles with change and the dismantling of the old patriarchal order, unsure of the future, and afraid to let go of the familiar past. Through and through, his Lordship is a gentleman in his manners, his dress, and his kind and respectful regard for others. He is a dedicated father and husband, and immensely loyal to Downton. However, in Season Two, we find his Lordship kissing a house maid, but it is through his dalliance that I believe his true gentleman is portrayed.
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A recent piece of advice from the Perfect Gentleman says not to forget the man in gentleman. At Downton, Robert is surrounded by very distinct women who play lead roles in his life. His larger-than-life mother, the Dowager Countess maintains the ability to scold Robert into submission; though he married his wife for her fortune, he fell deeply in love with her and grew into an attentive husband, and through his three daughters, he learns that love is about acceptance. He cherishes each of these women who feed and nourish his heart and soul. When Season Two begins, it is 1916, and Europe is engulfed in war. Everything has been transformed at Downton--service staff are fighting overseas, the Abbey has been converted into a convalescent home for injured soldiers, and many in the house have stepped up for the war effort. Society and order are forever changed.
The Perfect Lady Jane is a young war widow with a happy smile who acts as a sort of emotional confidante to Robert who has too much time to think about the futility of war as he watched from the sidelines. He helps Jane’s little boy into a good school and they get to know each other a little. After an intimate conversation in the crockery cupboard one afternoon, Robert plants an unexpected smooch on Jane’s lips.
Throughout the season, Robert is thrown deeper into emotional turmoil that challenges his sense of identity and his sense of purpose. He is not only concerned with the war but with his non-active role within it. Deemed too old to serve and given the important but disappointing stay-at-home ceremonial position of Lord Lieutenant, he feels undervalued, without purpose, and becomes increasingly shorttempered. ‘’Both of my footmen have gone off to war while I cut ribbons and make speeches,” he says with scorn. As the season progresses, the war ends but Downton is profoundly changed and will never return to its former days of glory. At the Abbey, Robert and Cora bicker over their eldest daughter’s marriage; she neglects him. He experiences much difficulty with his youngest and strong-willed daughter, Sybil, who throws the house into an upheaval when she announces her intention to marry the chauffeur and betray her title.
“Please try to forgive me,” the ever-polite Robert says as he hurries away. One evening soon after, several people at the Abbey have taken ill with the Spanish flu, including Cora. Robert, wrestling with the maelstrom of emotion and loneliness, invites Jane into his room. They share a passionate kiss in his bed chamber. Had they not been interrupted by his valet who knocks on the door, who one knows how far it would have gone – or would it?
The man in the gentleman is threatened: he is losing control of the place and the people that he holds dearest, his self-confidence is damaged, and he’s lonely from the dissention. Then he meets Jane, the new housemaid.
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The Perfect Lady Don’t forget the man in human either. I appreciate the concept of marriage, but I take a flesh-and-blood approach to infidelity. Vows and promises, yes! but sometimes, under the right circumstances with the right chemistry, kisses happen. Robert the human, is under a terrific amount of stress. Given his circumstances, I can’t blame him for turning to Jane for conversation, intimacy, and human contact. What is important to remember here is that Robert didn’t propose to Jane, he didn’t have sex with her, he merely kissed her. In his room, he says he wants her with every fiber of his being, but tears himself away as he acknowledges the impossible situation. Robert expresses the man in his gentleman but recognizes his folly. When Jane resigns and leaves Downton, Robert gives her a business contact for work in another town so her son has a chance at a good future. With this noble gesture and a sad farewell kiss, Robert reveals his gentlemanly worth.
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Robert Crawley is a good man. He possesses self-restraint, responsibility, and a strong devotion to the people he would hurt in his transgression with the house maid. Despite his foibles, Robert does the right thing. His loyalty to Downton is unwavering; from his family to the servants and all that are associated with his house, he never fails to protect and provide. Even when Downton itself is threatened by financial ruin in Season Three, Robert waves away the idea of his estate being broken up and sold piecemeal. “I couldn’t do that. I have a duty beyond saving my own skin. The estate must be a major employer and support the house, otherwise there is no point to it,” he says. The man in his human and in his gentleman have both shared the spotlight, but when the footlights of his responsibilities come up, Robert acknowledges his foibles and does the right thing. As a true gent, Lord Grantham makes sacrifices that will ultimately see his house--and all who are in it--through to Downton’s future and its next act.
Credits Editor: Zach Falconer-Barfield Contributors: James Marwood; Ruairidh Bulger; Leah Morrigan; Paul Ernst; Grant Harris; Zach Falconer-Barfield Images & Pictures: Pixabay, Joanna Boj, Dmitrij Paskevic, Carolee-Falconer-Barfield, Authors own or as noted A Gentleman Talks Video Production: The Perfect Gentleman Group Limited Music: Andy Nichol Layout & Design: The Perfect Gentleman Group Limited Advertising & Sales: enquiries@theperfectgentleman.tv Published by The Perfect Gentleman Group Limited - All Rights Reserved
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