How to Create a Life of Ease, Wealth, Fun, and Joy

Living intentionally means checking-in with your values, often and honestly.

In January, the natural response to colder temperatures combines with the soul’s ancient urge to take stock and recharge, making this a time of peace, ripe for Reflecting. Soul-searching means sitting with my values—the feelings I desire. Reflecting means asking the intense questions because we need to know the answers to determine our next move.

As I reflect on my third year at the helm of The Perpetual You, I’m more curious than ever to assess whether I’m living my ideal life, one of Ease, Wealth, Fun, and Joy. I decided to “test” whether I was living with those feelings by coming up with three concrete ways I’m curating each one in my daily life.

I share this process, and its results, for two main reasons. First, I believe all women desire these feelings; indeed, that is why we adopted them as brand values. If you find yourself wanting more ease, wealth, fun, or joy, then I hope my reflections will provide you with concrete ways to curate them.

Secondly, I share this reflection with you because I value honesty and transparency above all else. I want to be seen as the type of leader who is experiencing the life she claims others can have. While my life isn’t perfect by any stretch of the word, I am living my Ideal Life. That is to say, I’m living intentionally. And I want for you to know that you can do the same.

Choose Ease

I interpret EASE as “acknowledgement and curation of my particular ideal conditions.” Note the lack of permanence in that definition; as we know, what brings us ease on any given day can fluctuate. Still, without a doubt, a constant aspect of choosing ease for myself is a mindful work/life blend.

Though the specifics might shift, I need to know that, overall, I have the flexibility to focus on what is most pressing in that moment—work, “life,” or my own self-care. Key to this curation is an absence of judgement or expectations FOR MYSELF. These are not behaviors that bring me Ease! Expectations and self-criticism bring anxiety, overwhelm, and—ultimately—disappointment.

Instead, I choose to believe that I know, in each moment, where my focus needs to be. I trust my experience and intuition to guide me. In fact, my word of the year for 2017 was Wisdom for just that reason: I wanted to (and did) reconnect with my divine self-trust.

Of course, none of these ease-creating strategies are worth a damn unless I release the pressure to feel guilty. No matter how confident I am in my intentions, I must still overcome a lifetime of being conditioned and encouraged to negate that confidence with guilt.

A life-changing strategy for me this past year has been acknowledging guilt and figuring out the “why.“ For example, if I feel guilty about missing my son’s kindergarten Thanksgiving celebration (which I did!), then what does that say? Is it just societal pressure to be the perfect mom, or is the guilt telling me something?

In this case, the guilt reminded me how important my relationship with my kids is to me, and how I need to stay connected to my little guy, especially since this is his first year being gone every day. What the guilt did not tell me was to drop everything and attend the celebration. That would not have been the Ease-ful way out!

Once I know the reason for the guilt, then I can release it. Release = Ease. Next time, I may choose differently, depending on the circumstances. Or, I might once again feel guilt and remember how much I want to be there for my children. Work/life blend isn’t a one size fits every situation. We give and take, experiment and learn, acknowledge and release.

Embrace Wealth

WEALTH is a synonym for Abundance. To me, that means “feeling full in mind, body, and spirit.” For too much of my life, I felt a lack of critical life-giving things—relationships, a sense of purpose, and mental wellbeing. My default mindset is “I can survive with less.” To rewire my brain, I remind myself, daily, that I am worth more, that I will be happy with more.

The biggest challenge for me, when embracing abundance, is intimacy. Over the past year, I have very consciously tended to relationships that make me feel loved and supported. Because I know that I’m safe in these relationships, the cultivation of intimacy is worth the risk of vulnerability.

Another aspect of wealth is abundant creativity. Whether building a custom Lego creation with my children, trying out a new brewery with my husband, or dreaming up the next great TPY venture, I rely upon the knowledge that the more creativity I use up, the more I will have to use.

Because I’m more comfortable with creativity, it fosters intimacy, a feeling I’m still learning to love. As the editor of a collaborative magazine, I will never be “working alone.” At one time, that responsibility would’ve been a burden; however, I have come to see relationship-building as a blessing that provides multiple avenues for abundance.

A final aspect of wealth is my wellness- a word that truly encompasses the mind, body, and spirit. Where “good health” seems an inaccurate description for what I want to feel, wellness resonates on so many levels. And wealth in wellness is not possible without adequate self-care.

If you’ve read even one issue of this magazine, you know how high we get when talking about self-care. As addictions go, I can’t recommend anything more so than paying attention to yourself—your needs, your desires, and your wellbeing. The best thing about self-care? It’s a practice that’s different for each of us.

My self-care over the past year has been about finding comfort in my natural state, giving in to my core desires. I wear comfy socks, read lots of books, and drink coffee all day long. I stay at home more than I go out. I take daily walks and recycle more than I use. I give to those around me, and to myself. As a result, I feel good, well, and whole.

Unleash Fun

I tell you honestly that I didn’t really understand what “fun” was when I started this magazine. Fortunately, a part of my job is talking with other smart women, each of whom has taught me a little bit more about this elusive value. Today, I define FUN as “leaning in to playfulness, wit, and curiosity.”

I have never liked being told what to do (just ask my mom!) nor do I take to this idea of being dictated by time. Schedules, routines, structured working hours…none of that for me, thanks. The feeling of fun shows up not so much from resisting those “normalcies,” but when I relish in my innate, unpredictable self.

This occurs most often when I gift myself unstructured time. Unstructured time—which, ironically, must be planned— provides a balance to all the requirements of real life. Even more fun is to pair the lack of structure with the absence of agenda. In other words, for that set amount of time, there are no rules and no goals.

To me, this is the height of freedom. And freedom is fun. In this space, I can reconnect to my childlike sense of wonder and reclaim my right to explore curiosities. I can give in to primal urges. Basically…we’re talking about cupcakes!! Lots and lots of cupcakes. Baking, buying, eating them. Reading about them. It’s all 100% sheer delight.

Though time spent with other women is a crucial facet of my job, I count being together with my friends, and attending gatherings of women, to be fun at its finest. I haven’t always felt this way—because: anxiety—but that history just makes my comfort with connection more special.

I use the principle of unstructured time to make even boring errands contain an element of fun. (Don’t go to the grocery store with my 5YO and me unless you have several hours free!!)

One of my favorite activities is to just drive and see where we end up. Walking with no agenda other than exploration is an eco-friendly alternative.

What I love most about connecting and exploration is that they fall perfectly in line with all the other feelings I want to have. When I reflect on those activities that feel the most fun in the moment—a day trip to nowhere, for example, or lunch with a friend—I can see how those moments also bring ease and fullness. (Cupcake pun intended.)

Celebrate Joy

Can you feel the crescendo? Since we curated these brand values in a deliberate, upward motion, I’m not at all surprised to be ending this reflection on a very high note! In fact, this writing in itself is an example of JOY, which I define as “pleasure that outlasts the actual moment.”

Let’s take a favorite activity as an example – shopping. Spending money in the moment makes me very happy. But who hasn’t had the after-crash of an ill-timed trip to Target or T.J. Maxx? If I go shopping and spend money I didn’t intend to spend or buy items I didn’t intend to buy, I might come away “happy” but that trip will not have brought me joy.

The kind of shopping that brings me joy is when I’m spending money and time supporting other creative women. I can honestly say that I have never regretted purchasing from a small batch maker. In fact, I consider my decision to “shop small as often as I can” a crucial step in my leadership journey.

That’s the thing. When I feel joy, I’ve probably passed the feeling along to others as well. The magazine and my pursuit of passion in running it is proof enough of that. I know that every woman who has encountered our magazine has felt the good feelings of self-worth, community, and positivity. No other pursuit could bring me this much joy.

Not all my joy, however, is outward-focused. One of the most intriguing aspects of the feeling of joy is its many facets. A very, very small task can bring long-lasting joy—seemingly mundane rituals like folding laundry or responding to email, for example. Why? Because the act itself is enjoyable to me, and the value associated with the act (organization, or clarity) are high on my list.

This is what we mean when we talk about simple joys. Right? Paying attention. Being present. Mindfulness in the mundane is the only way I could have learned to enjoy the duller moments of Motherhood—the incessant taking care of someone else’ needs; the repetition of daily activities; the observation required to keep everybody safe and happy.

Finding that if I just remained present, I could take delight in virtually any activity, situation, or outcome was like discovering a gold mine. The notion is as simple as it is absurd, another conundrum that brings me joy. Throwing the world on its head—challenging what we’re supposed to be doing/feeling/thinking. Celebrating REAL LIFE in all its mixed-up-ed-ness. Oh, what joy.

“At The Perpetual You, we believe women can create lives of Ease, Wealth, Fun, and Joy just by being who they already are, who they’ve always been, who they’re meant to be.” That tagline is more than mere wordsmithing. We actually believe that these desired feelings can be a part of every woman’s life.

If there was anyone less likely to experience Ease, Wealth, Fun, and Joy on a daily basis than me about five years ago, I’d be surprised. After a lifetime of depression and anxiety-masked-asirritation, I was about as far from my true self / ideal life as one can be.

Running this magazine has been so rewarding because I, too, have benefited from the encouragement. My life has become the proof in the pudding, so to speak. Through positivity, self-care, connection, and mindfulness, I have become (and am becoming) the genuine Lee Lee.

No matter your background, no matter your lifestyle—you can curate an intentional life. I don’t have faith that this is possible for you; I believe this life already IS. The feelings await— ready to be chosen, embraced, unleashed, and celebrated. The only question to answer is: are you ready to get started?

Lee Lee Thompson is the Managing Editor + Creative Director of The Perpetual You. During the winter months, you’ll find her cozying up to a mug of coffee, a warm blanket, and a smattering of new ideas at her home in Hamden, CT.

Photos by Joanna Fisher, @joanna_fisher