EXPERT TAKE 1. UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR BRAIN WORKS
10 Mindset Tips to Help Us Through When Life Gets Hard WORDS: LILLI BIEDERMANN
LIFE IS HARD. THIS IS NORMAL. Waiting for life to get easier
isn’t always an option and even if it is, you’ll miss getting to the top when others get the hard stuff done. So, when life gets tough, what are you going to do? Be the one who handles the hard and rise to the top or wait for the Easy Bus to come around to take you where you want to go? (Hint: The Easy Bus rarely comes around and there is no stop at your destination.) Whether you have exams coming up, SATs on the horizon, college applications due, a job interview, presentation, work project deadline or you are facing an important horse show or circuit, how are you going to handle it? Success in life goes to those who handle hard well. Here are ten tips to help you navigate the “hard” and ease you through to the next level.
Our brains are wired to keep us safe. This means that your brain tries hard to keep your today the same as your yesterday and your tomorrow. Brains don’t like change because change involves risk to our safety, at least in caveman brain “think.” Our brains have not evolved to perceive the difference between modern-day psychological stressors or real, life-or-death ones such as being eaten by a predator. A threat is a threat as far as the brain is concerned, and we are stuck with our fight or flight response to stress of any kind. Fears or stress keeps you in your comfort zone and can prevent you from moving forward toward your goals by warping your thinking and convincing you to avoid whatever it is that you view as the “scary” thing. Keep in mind George Addair’s advice: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”
2. IMPORTANCE OF AWARENESS You can harness your power of awareness to recognize when your brain is letting your fears carry you away in unproductive ways, and you can reset yourself much like flipping a switch. So when your brain says, “Oh, this is too hard,” “I can’t,” or “I stink at this, I should just quit,” respond with: “Thank you, brain, for keeping me safe. We are fine. We can do this. Let’s go!”
3. NO EXCUSES Adopt a “no excuses” attitude. When you recognize your anxious brain’s self-sabotaging, fear-based excuses—which may include playing the blame game (the judge/boss/teacher/trainer doesn’t like me, the competition is too stiff, the weather or arena wasn’t quite right, etc.), turn OFF the excuses! Excuses will never save the day for you, but they will keep you stuck. Block them out and move forward.
4. E (Event or Your “Hard Thing”) + R (Response) = O (Outcome) Your thoughts about your situation and the way you perceive that event determines your response to it, which dictates the outcome. Perception is everything. Try shifting from a place of, “I am nervous about X,” to, “I look forward to the challenge of X,” or, “I can’t wait to learn from X!” Changing
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THE PLAID HORSE
December 2023/January 2024
