7 minute read
The Hooded World of Female Masturbation
VOICES
The Hooded World of Female Masturbation
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JOSEPHINE ROSS Managing Editor
Author’s Note: This article refers to masturbation in cisgender women. Masturbation in transgender and nonbinary individuals is a complex and nuanced topic; different though equally important.
I bet you internally recoiled when you read that title, didn’t you? Even if you possess a female reproductive system, the topic of female masturbation might set off alarm bells in your head. It’s not your fault, that’s the social conditioning ringing. We’ve come far in the fight for female liberation, but female masturbation remains relatively uncharted in comparison to other, less taboo topics. The idea that women can and should pleasure themselves is more widely accepted than in the past. However, despite the fact that most women engage in masturbation, it remains a cultural taboo. This taboo is as present in real life as it is in the various forms of media available today, reflected in the blatant deprivation of references to the act of female masturbation in either context. We are poorly equipped for dialogue on female masturbation. I attribute this to the lack of exposure to female masturbation in pop culture and porn. This lack of information and representation reinforces the secrecy, shame, and cultural taboos surrounding the topic, strengthening the intentional, yet indirect, form of patriarchal control over female bodies and what their owners should do with them.
I don’t think I knew about, much less accurately understood, the power of my own sex organ, and the pleasure I could derive from fiddling around down there, until I was 14. I didn’t know the first thing about female masturbation, vibrators, dildos, where I could find porn that catered to female fantasies, or even the precise location of the clitoris until I was well into my mid-teens. Even once well-versed in the topic, I didn’t dare speak of it to anyone, even with my closest friends, until quite recently. Nowadays, male masturbation is widely regarded as “natural and healthy”, while women who openly speak about their masturbation habits continue to be characterized as “nymphos” or “sluts”. We steer clear of the topic to avoid being associated with these terms and implications. When I spoke to my Editor-In-Chief and dear friend, Isabella Blu Ptito-Echeverria about this article, she said; “It’s still so taboo, even between women! I’ll bring up masturbation in a group of women and their reaction is like ‘Oh, you’re going there?’” This sentiment accurately captures the discomfort and shame women feel surrounding the topic of their own sexuality, especially when it exists in the absence of a partner. We may be comfortable in bed, accompanied by our vibrators, but step out of this bubble and the ease melts away.
Discounting the occasional Cosmopolitan article or Sex and The City episode, there is an undeniable absence of exposure to female masturbation in pop culture. On the other hand, there is ample imagery of, references to, and conversations about male masturbation in just about every TV show aired in the last two decades. When it comes to female masturbation, the level of exposure ranges from little to none. Even on the rare occasions when women pleasuring themselves are portrayed on-screen, these instances are usually heavily filtered by the male gaze and do not accurately reflect the masturbation habits of real women.
Masturbating women are portrayed in a way that either directly caters to a male fantasy of the act or depicts the act grotesquely. Even in porn, a theoretical “safe haven” for female masturbators and their desires, there is an overt lack of content targeted towards women. Most of the videos in Porn Hub’s specially curated “Porn for Women” section still cater to male fantasies and revolve around the male sex organ. We see males receiving oral far more often than the reverse. This is the case even in lesbian porn, where dildos and strap-ons make appearances in most videos. The male sex organ weasels itself into any form of porn, whether a male is present or not. Men have infinite occasions to identify with sex-positive characters and recognize their own masturbation habits on-screen. Meanwhile, women are deprived of this opportunity and must go searching for information, reassurance, and validation on their own sexual habits elsewhere. While grown women are able to execute this type of research on their own, younger women may be too embarrassed or scared to do the same. With the persistent problem of misinformation on the internet, we must ensure that younger women have safe access to correct information regarding their own bodies. More women healthily pleasuring themselves on-screen could assure that women of all ages are informed about and may identify with the act of female masturbation.
We can attribute the vast difference in exposure of male masturbation versus female masturbation to another patriarchal-driven quest for control over the female body. The lack of research, exposure, and dialogue surrounding female masturbation is just another facet of misogyny. By censoring and omitting the ranging realities of female masturbation, we discourage women not only from engaging in the act, but also from speaking about it. Keeping this act secretive and maintaining the air of shame that surrounds it is another way the patriarchy continues to implicitly, yet decisively, control female bodies and enforce social codes that encourage women to refrain from experiencing shameless pleasure.
In the advent of mass media and the internet, pop culture has helped normalize formerly socially unacceptable behaviours, identities, and realities. Positive representations of women discussing and engaging in healthy masturbation in these milieus would significantly transform our cultural perception of the matter. Seeing sex-positive female masturbators on screen could provide a safe space for young women to inform themselves on the topic as well as come to terms with and be more accepting of their own bodies, sexualities, and natural urges. People who don’t have a female sex organ could benefit from learning more about its functions as well as about what healthy female masturbation could resemble. Additionally, this would enable parents to open a conversation with their kids about the subject. The “bird and the bees” talk should be the only one of its kind. Added exposure about female masturbation would significantly de-stigmatize and normalize the act, making women feel more comfortable in their own sexuality.
Despite the lack of progress in this aspect of the female liberation movement, we finally seem to be getting on the right track. Netflix’s Sex Education (2019) broke boundaries and set a new precedent for how issues like masturbation could be represented and discussed on-screen.
The creation of porn sites specifically made for women as well as an uptick in alternative porn types, like audio porn, have made it easier for women to have a healthy relationship with their “solo-sexuality”. There is still much work to be done to open the floor for candid discussions about female masturbation in real life and on social media, but I am confident that this will improve with time and an increase in exposure to the subject. p
Photo VIA HUFFPOST
