HOROSCOPES

CURIOSITIES

HOROSCOPES

ARIES (mar. 20 - apr. 18):

Build self-care into your routine this semester. School is exhausting and being an Aries means you probably signed up for too many classes and activities for a sustainable and healthy semester.

TAURUS (apr. 19 - may 20):

On behalf of everyone that surrounds you: Stop being so damn stubborn. You’re a young and developing adult, not Gandhi. We do appreciate your insightful contributions to class discussions but only because it is never the appropriate time in day to talk about a reading nobody else did. (aside from you, ofc)

GEMINI (may 21 - june 20):

I feel that the Gemini population of Dawson mainly consists of the people who throw their cigarette butts on the floor while ashtrays and garbage cans are within a two-foot distance of them. Stop doing that :)

CANCER (june 21 - july 22):

I get it. You’re the “mom friend”, the “group therapist”. You listen to everyone’s problems and hold your friend’s hair back when they’re taking a nap on the toilet seat. Your job is vital in every good friend group but in September you need to get in the habit of taking care of yourself too!

LEO (july 23 - aug. 22):

To all my Leo’s reading this; Fall 2022 is the time to get into good habits! You’ve been getting good grades thus far without opening a single book but let’s dial back the “bullshitting my essay’s” skills and develop some actual sustainable study skills so that rush doesn’t kick your ass this time.

VIRGO (aug. 23 - sept. 22):

Caffeine is not a food group - stop treating it as such. If you had an accountant, they would burst into tears hysterically over the ridiculous amounts of money you spend on coffee and red bull. With this said, the world appreciates your enthusiasm on the most random topics.

LIBRA (sept. 23 - oct. 22):

You are also the therapist friend but you’re blunt about it. Your ability to express your thoughts with absolutely no filter makes it easy to be around you and your friends will always come to you for the most genuine of opinions.

SCORPIO (oct. 23 - nov. 21):

As a Scorpio, mental health should not be your last priority... Ever. School is generally needy and demands a lot from your physical and mental energy but for Scorpios it hits even harder. ALSO start drinking water. You literally need it to live.

SAGITTARIUS (nov. 22 - dec. 21):

Please be careful. Not with anything in particular but you are generally clumsy. The corners of tables and legs of chairs will thank you for it. Seriously though; the adventurous risk-taker in you should chill out. Take a rock-climbing gym class maybe!

CAPRICORN (dec. 22 - jan. 19):

The agenda keepers of our community. Thank you for being on top of your shit constantly and without fail. Capricorns are the outgoing friends who will ask the professor any question you are too shy to ask yourself, and they will always explain the overly complicated assignment guidelines to you at any time of night.

AQUARIUS (jan. 20 - feb. 18):

Although your birthday is during the most freezing and unpleasant months of our Quebec winter, you provide a warm quality to the atmosphere of those around you. As an Aquarius, you constantly carry a mental rolodex of uplifting quotes to provide to your friends in a time of need. Most of the time these quirky anecdotes hold no genuine meaning and they’re often super cliché but that’s what makes them special.

PISCES (feb. 19 - mar. 19):

As a Pisces you are always comfortable in your surroundings no matter how dim, dull or downright horrible. You’ve learnt to adapt to all possible environments and find your own unique space. The only downside to this trait is that you often realize which classes you should drop past the deadline.