Fifth Edition | 2017 by The Voice

The

VOICE Fifth Edition

Editors Nicole Cairney Basel Hindeleh

Contents The Joys of Procrastination ........................................................................................................4 How to Survive the Rest of the Semester ..................................................................................6 Why we shouldn’t settle for Average .........................................................................................7 Which student stereotype are you? ..........................................................................................8 Hidden Confessions ...................................................................................................................9 So you want to buy a pet fish? .................................................................................................10 How to be a vegetarian ...………………………….............................................................................12 Humans of RMC .......................................................................................................................14 Grooves Around College ..........................................................................................................16 Happening: ..............................................................................................................................17 the Wiretap .............................................................................................................................18

The Joys of Pr

So what steals your time? Here’s wha

cCoy: Pat M in Andrew ‘Beating pool.’

a: anh H g and Ly Kh tudyin so I s is o h me dw a frien stinate with e.’ a ‘Go to r h c wit m pro r n e w h o e ple d mak ag peo can dr

Nathan Schmidt: ‘Having to help Seb Wall learn how to read.’

l: Wal n n a i st tha Seba sure Na ables’ g n i get ‘Mak ts his ve a idt e Schm

yle: Ngiare Bo ‘Napping.’

Laura Anderson: ‘Procrasti-eating, Procrasticleaning, Procrasti-showering, Procrasti-talking, ProcrastiMeming.’

Megan Brook: ‘Going to the gym.’

: Mitch Smith ks.’ ac sn ‘Bingeing on le

: e ison olat orr of choc en M h s Jes mounts ee and t .’ a ff s o u bad c opio much se I feel c t a o ‘I e cau k to drin gym be and e o th go t

Zoe Speer: ‘EATING!’

Drew Kennedy: ‘Same minus the gym…’

rocrastination

at some fellow residents had to say:

iep: Cindy D cles to g of arti in k in h T ‘ oice.’ to The V it m b u s

Dan Lee: ‘Shaving Amresh’s back’ Fadzai Pasi: ham ‘Annoying Shub Chohda’

Priyu Bucktowonsing: ‘Shots shots shots!’

ne: sa Va hat takes Koris use t cope ing ‘ca k a b eat to .’ ti s s s a e r r c t ‘Pro can s asted then I just w e e v m ’ I ti e m up ll the ti with a

Maddie Martin: ‘Flicking through Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook… even if I just refreshed the page. Just keep going through the cycle. Doing it right now.’

Keelan Birch: ‘Youtube and tagging Patrick Newall in Ibis memes.’

Pip Fitzgerald: ‘Over-researching to avoid actually having to write the assignment.’

: Scobie Audra es... e r p s ning a le c n lix’ ‘Go o ch Netf t a w r o That

How to Survive the Rest of the Semester Your fingers flitter the keys for hours. The clock’s monotone hum has faded in the background as the dull numb of your nothingness thoughts are overpowering time itself. Sense and words remain locked behind the door, no matter how hard you try to find the key to realise them, it can’t be found. This assignment is going nowhere…. The end of semester struggle is coming and all you can think about is the month off that is just around the corner. But before freedom is earned you have to overcome all the 30% assignments that are due in the next two weeks, plus actually catching up on the course itself. However, avoiding work becomes routine and the thought of another lecture on another useless topic makes you want to jump on a train and start your holiday early. In order to overcome the dread of the last few weeks and actually getting through the rest of the semester here’s some quick tips to get back on track: 1. Stay organised- write out what’s due and stick to a timetable in order to get it done on time. 2. Take breaks - don’t lock yourself in your room because there’s 28374817623 assessments due. Your brain will thank you later. 3. Stay healthy - remember that winter is on its way, make sure you wear extra layers and eat plenty of good stuff. Don’t want the flu just before exam period. 4. Don’t be too hard on yourself - know your limits with study, make sure you pace yourself and don’t take it out on yourself if things don’t go as well as you want them to. 5. Sleep - getting plenty of sleep keeps you energised and ready to take on anything that comes your way. 6. Study in different spaces - getting out of your room takes away the distractions. Go to the library, study outside, changing the environment can do wonders. Nearly there guys! Keep working hard, freedom is near!

Why we shouldn’t settle for average Do ultra-endurance sports make us reconsider our limits? A few weeks ago there was a bike race. But not just an ordinary race, a 5,500km (yes that’s not a typo) race across Australia from Perth to Sydney – the Indian Pacific Wheel Race. Solo, unsupported, you’re not even allowed someone to hand you a water bottle it’s that hardcore! You may have heard about it. Tragically one of the most famous riders in the world, Mike Hall was hit by a truck just outside of Canberra and was killed instantly. RIP Mike Hall. As sad as this was some incredible stories came out of it. A young kid, Locky Kennedy, our age, fresh out of school with no experience of cycling signed up and THEN bought a bike because he thought “what a better way to see Australia”. 2 weeks later he arrived in Sydney with a massive smile on his face, a new perspective on life. If you think that’s tough, consider this. Every year in New York there is a running event – the Self-Transcendence 3100 MILE Race. Yep I know, how can one even want to let alone actually run 3100 miles (5000 km)? Athletes run about 100km each day for 52 days straight around an 800m block. Imagine running for 12 hours every day for 52 days in 800m circles. Oh yeah the guy who won it last year was 52 years old!! Surely these people aren’t human? It’s stories like this often go untold. And it’s not surprising it’s the crazy 0.01% of the population that attempts them. But when you hear about these incredible feats it’s hard not to think, what is my limit? If these people are achieving extraordinary things through ultra-endurance sports then what can I achieve – in uni, in my job, in life? We are discovering more and more each year that the potential of our mind is unlimited. It’s time you rethink what you are truly capable of. Keelan Birch

WHIcH STUDENT

STEREOTYPE ARE YOU? START Do you attend all of your lectures and tutorials... no matter what? YES

Would you go to a party if you had a 9am lecture? YES

YES

Student life is all about the education to you. You came here for one reason, and one reason only, to get a degree. That’s the point of University after all, right?

SLEE

MIT

University is a life experience where we gain academic knowledge, life skills and friends for life, not just an excuse to get wasted.

Although it’s the party season, the holidays will be spent working for the deadlines due when you’re back as well as seeing friends and family!

The Geeky One

You get back from My assignment can’t ranch, it’s 3 am, you be as hard as they say realise you forgot to it is, I’ll give myself a submit work which is week to do it! due before 7am, do you stay up and submit your NO YES work or f*** it “sleeps more important”

SUB

YES

STRIKE

Life’s wasted if you aint getting wasted!

TRUE

YE S

Work hard, play hard You do both your readings and your drinkings. Yes, you came here to earn your degree, but who said you couldn’t have fun along the way?

YE S

TOKE N

L FA

Is your idea of fun, a night in with a chess board and a packet of peanuts?

Do your friends refer to you as the ‘sensible one’?

YES

Would you ever rush an assignment to go out earlier with your mates?

Have you ever been late to a lecture because you wanted and extra ten minutes in bed? NO

Is it more important to spend your last 10$ on washing tokens you really need or at strike bowling?

what

degree

Studying is a foriegn concept to you, you’ve barely been to Uni, and you spend any income on nights out. You’re down for the ride and not the results. It’s all about living fast and dying young.

Hidden Confessions My name is Jack Lording and I’m in B block at RMC. I’m currently enrolled in MAS104 (Australian Media) on Tuesdays at 4pm. Last Tuesday (May 2) was like any other day- I rocked up at five past four and sat in my usual seat, 8 rows from the front, on the left-hand side. The lecture was on Australian journalism. The topic of that lecture is the first reason I’m writing for The Voice. The second is that I promised to the esteemed editors of this fine publication -Nicole and Basel that I would give them a story. Little did I know what was about to happen… So there she was; she had brown hair, cute freckles, and was wearing a white flowery top. I tried to keep focusing on the lecture but I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. About 15 minutes into the lecture, two people sat down directly in front of me. This was unacceptable, I had to change seats so I could still see her. Once the lecture concluded I walked down the aisles towards her. She began talking to the guy sitting next to her. Best not interrupt them. I left the theatre. That night in the RMC dining room I was telling the story to some friends. They suggested I sit with her next time and talk to her. Over the weekend, I thought I’d write a confession on the MQ love letters page. Unfortunately, I did not realise you had to directly message the page owners instead of directly posting on the page… if you want it to be anonymous that is. It was meant to be a hidden confession. Realising my error, I removed the post quickly. Before this Tuesday comes around I’d love your suggestions as to what I should do. JAck Lording

So you want to buy If you’re like me, you probably got really excited when you found out that you’re allowed to have a pet fish in your bedroom. But, what you probably didn’t know is that fish need quite a bit of time, love, care and $$$ if you want to properly look after them, and give them the best quality of life possible. I LOVE fish, and did HEAPS of research and reading before I bought my Siamese fighting fish (or betta fish), and I want to share with you some things I’ve learnt. I’m writing more specifically about buying a fighting fish, because these are cheap and pretty and which people will impulsively buy. Things to consider before purchasing a fish: 1) Fighting fish need a minimum of 15L of water (according to the RSPCA) – any smaller and it shortens their life span. 2) Fighting fish need a tank, not a bowl. The shape of a bowl reduces the surface-to-air ratio, which is basically the amount of air that comes in contact with the water surface, and therefore, how much oxygen dissolves into the water for the fish to breath. 3) You will need a heater – fighting fish are tropical fish, meaning they are most comfortable in water temperatures between 25.5°C and 26.5°C. Any lower and it starts to harm them, and shortens their life span. 4) You will need to do weekly water changes – not only is the tank where the fish lives and sleeps, it’s also its bathroom where they poop and pee. The ammonia from all the waste the fish produces can be toxic if it isn’t removed. Filters help to remove the waste – if you have a filtered tank, you only need to do 25% water changes once a week. If you don’t have a filter, you need to do 50% water changes 2-3 times a week, otherwise the ammonia levels can accumulate to very toxic levels and kill it. 5) You should also provide gravel, plants (real or silk that won’t tear your fish’s fins), ornaments and food etc, for your fish: bettas are actually intelligent fish compared to others – you need to give them things to look at, swim through, rest on, explore etc. so that they don’t get bored. 6) Think about what you’re going to do with the fish during term and semester breaks!!!

y a pet fish? By Cindy Diep Bad examples of keeping betta fish. Small bowls/jars, no filter, heater. The betta is cramped and barely has room to swim or breath.

Like any other pet dog, cat, rabbit, guinea pig, bird or horse you might have at home, a fish is a living creature that deserves a happy and comfortable life. If you make the decision to purchase a fish as a pet, it is your responsibility to provide its essential needs and allow it to live a good life. I don’t mean to scare you away from owning one of these intelligent creatures, but I think it’s important to know that these guys deserve more attention and care than you might think, and that you should think carefully before buying one. All the equipment I just mentioned can cost you over $150 easily if you buy brand new, or you could look for second-hand on Gumtree like I did (I spent probably $40). Having a fighting fish is great company and really rewarding. They are incredibly smart, entertaining and inquisitive creatures when you really provide for them, and personally, a great little companion to keep you company. Gold fish on the other hand – don’t get me started. A picture of my bb Ty-Relle just because I love him so much and he’s so pretty.

How to be a Veget This step-by-step process along with some highly knowledgeable tips will give you the primary skills needed to become a COMMITTED vegetarian like myself. This article is also for those of you that are struggling with your vegetarianism (cough cough Julian cough cough), and need a helping hand from someone that never steps a chicken leg out of line. Enjoy. STEP 1: The first step to becoming a vegetarian is to prepare your body for the loss of vital protein. Girls. There is no need for you to do this step as you already have more than enough protein in your bodies. Please skip to step two. Boys. You need to go grab at least 20 tubs of these little babies: This is an iron supplement. It is needed for the supplementation of iron. TIP: Swallow whole bottles at a time for premium hits. STEP 2: Prepare for failure. It might be hard to give up those late night macas runs or ‘after-alcohol’ feeds but it will be worth it in the long term when you finally become perfect like me. TIP: Eat as many cheeseburgers as you can the day before you become vegetarian. STEP 3: DON’T EAT MEAT. If you do it, you’re a failure. When you stand in line at the RMC dining hall waiting to pick your food just think to yourself … “Can I really stand another night of chicken and rice”? Here, I will help you with your decision …

No. TIP: Fish is a meat. If you eat fish you are weak.

tarian By Sarah Harrison STEP 4: Consult your friends for help and support. Your new life as a vegetarian is dramatically different and you will need comfort and encouragement. But, you also need to be able to take on criticism for maximum commitment. If you fail, your friends have the right to laugh at you. Because you are a failure. HAHA. STEP 4: Part B Do as the meme says.

FINAL Step 5: Do make sure you eat foods high in protein as well as taking the tablets. Here is a list of foods you can supplement into your diet:

TIP: Don’t mind where it says “low protein foods list”, it was a typo.

Humans All the colours of Jessica Moran There are a lot of stories I could tell you, some funny, some sad, some boring but all well rehearsed and most involving a multitude of animals. Today I’m going to try and tell you about myself, some things you might know, some you might not but all are true and all are parts of who I am. I have always been a Disney baby, I went to Disney World when I was three years old, my younger brother turned one during the trip and I spent most of my time telling off Ratcliffe for being mean to Pocahontas and John Smith and showing Areal my collection of things I found on the ground. I had yet to see a single Disney movie at this point but from there I became indoctrinated in the Disney fandom. I wished upon the first star I saw each night, and the second and the third… to the point where I started to talk to the stars each night. I watched all the movies and knew all the songs and to this day go to each new release that comes out. I also love colours, there was a time where I thought my colour obsession was something new, something people assumed about me because without intending to my wardrobe was often full of bright colours. That belief was shattered however when I was reminded that when I took Karate as a child I had chosen my karate name to be Jessica Rainbow. When I started high school I felt like I was floating through life, I don’t remember much distinctly just this feeling of detachment and weightlessness. That feeling persisted until I started university and moved to Robert Menzies college. Here I feel grounded, here I feel like myself, here I feel like I can talk to the stars again and tell of Ratcliffe for being mean. Here I am home :) I don’t want to sound too mushy but I think a lot of people have moments where they float through life but key experiences and characteristics persist. I hope that everyone is as lucky as I was to find a place where I could be the person I always was, a dreamer with streak of social justice. Jessica Rainbow

s of RMC One fabled morning, that didn’t seem quite so long ago, I stepped out onto my verandah and to my surprise a rainbow lorikeet greeted me. As I was sipping on my unusually warm beverage I thought to myself, “hey, this little bird looks like it wants some breakfast” so I nipped back inside to grab a slice of bread to feed it. As I walked out for the second time the bird saw what was within my hand and happily landed next to the bread. He nibbled at it at first, while I was admiring at its beauty, a howling screech suddenly bellowed from within this bird and hundreds of Rainbow Lorikeets swarmed me and my verandah, landing and pecking at any wooden, skin or glass surface they could find. I was trapped, all I could see was blinding colors of Rainbow Lorikeets as they hurricane around me, still clutching the remains of the bread within my hand. I felt that all hope was lost, until a simpleton, a man new to the area, was innocently enough devouring a Bunnings snag. The Rainbow Lorikeets are notorious for their ravenous hunger for Bunnings snags, within milliseconds I could see. ‘Twas a relief at first until I saw the new victim, the simpleton had been corrupted and swarmed by the elegant beauty of the Rainbow Lorikeet, I watched in horror, as I crept back into the safety of my cabin. Once the Rainbow Lorikeets had taken care of business I pitter-pattered out of the cabin to help the simpleton. It was as I feared, he was in silent tears, only the occasional splutter of a cough of a half-chewed Bunnings snag would break the silence of the Kioloa Beach Holiday Park, his sausage sandwich was gone. The Lorikeets had finally won their campaign, the superior technology of the Bunnings snag was captured. They had the intent, the information, and the firepower all that they needed was someone to pull the trigger. Daniel Lee (Rainbow Lorikeet Horde survivor)

Grooves Around College Top tunes that have been blasted around college! 1. That’s What I Like - Bruno Mars 2. Mask Off - Future 3. Need You Now - Dean Lewis 4. Hey, Did I Do You Wrong - San Cisco 5. Murder to the Mind - Tash Sultana 6. Want You Back - HAIM 7. Green Light - Lorde 8. ELEMENT. - Kendrick Lamar 9. Get It Together - Drake featuring Black Coffee and Jorja Smith 10. Doing Good - Milky Chance 11. Popcorn - Solillaquists of Sound

If you have any favourite songs that you would like to share with others, add them to the spotify playlist by following the link or scanning the QR code. If it’s hit, it could make an appearance in our next edition!

https://goo.gl/O8fwPw

Happening: Thu 11.05.17 - Thrift Shop Ubar Party Sun 14.05.17 - InterCollege Soccer Mon 15.05.17 - Art Week Commences Sat 20.05.17 - Interblock BakeOff Mon 22.05.17 - “Why Poetry Puts Us Off” - RMC Arts Forum Wed 24.05.17 - Silent Disco Ranch Thu 25.05.17 - Think True Sat 26.05.17 - Vivid Begins

‘A door isn’t really locked if it’s glass’ - Chris Mildenhall ‘You go via Newcastle to get to Bathurst’ - Jack Lording

the Wi ‘Guys assume if it’s pink girls will like it’ - Amresh

‘Heated pews are fundamits of church’ - Lucy Davies ‘Ibis can fly?! That high????’- Priyu ‘If I get there at 2:50 and my flights at 3:30 that’s like an hour and a half early’ - Olivia McFadden Schmidty: ‘we’re going to make Dr Strange.’ Liv: ‘Oh the Harry Potter one?’ ‘Look for the one on his own, he wouldn’t have made friends in there.’ Avanti on Patrick graduating, apparently friendless after three years.

‘Does this count as my serving of fruit for the day?’ Rachel Miller, holding an apple cider.

iretap ‘I stopped dabbing when my Dad started’ Sophia, daughter of the coolest Dad Priyu: I’m constipated. Dan Lee: Tough Shit. “Do they speak Greek in Greece ?” -Beccy ‘She’s trying to make babies with my awkward turtle.’ - Anonymous Beth Hadfield talking about a lizard: “fight me bro, fight me”

Jess Morrison looking at a photo of herself: ‘I didn’t know I looked like that’ ‘Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing’ Ngiare commenting on her pool skills. ‘The backs of my eyes don’t have heads.’ - Shrav ‘I don’t like watermelon…. Unless it’s soaked in vodka.’ - Alcoholic Avanti (AA) Laura: Does anyone want to go to Birkenhead Point DFO tomorrow? Liv: HIKING?!?

 Share your voice with everyone! Are you a creative soul and want to contribute to The Voice? Great! Send through your work as a message on our Facebook page, or submit it anonymously by slipping it under the doors of either B206 or B116, or drop it in the ‘the voice’ box in the common room. Any kind of contribution is accepted. Drawings, Articles, Poems, Stories, etc. And don’t forget to send in any funny submissions for the Wiretap. #RMCwiretap If you want to be featured in the Humans of RMC section, send in a small article about yourself along with candid photo of you.

 RMCVOICE  /thevoiceofrmc  issuu.com/thermcvoice

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