Feb. 22, 2011

the

Scribe

February 22 to February 28, 2011 [Volume 35. Issue 20]

TRASH or

treasure? page 4

editorial

Page 2

The light only stays on for as long as you move

Editor-in-Chief Avalon Manly Everything that follows is true. It’s a selection that I wrote last year, forgot completely and stumbled across a few days ago; you’re reading it now because I think these are words that need to be said every once in a while.

Saw a man in Manitou tonight, riding his bike along a dark alleyway. There was a halogen light attached to the front, and it shone, illuminated, each time a pedal was pressed down. Because he was riding on a hill, the light was blinking on and off as he paused at the apex of each stride, hovering for a moment, just an instant, before pressing down again, bathing the pavement in blue glow. I paused in my step, ginger beer raised to my lips, and realized: the light only stayed on for as long as he moved.

Isn’t that true in every area of human existence? Don’t we only understand things as long as we attempt to understand them? Don’t we only see when our eyes are wide? Don’t we only love when our hearts are open?

Don’t we only give when we are filled up?

Spoke with a friend on my driveway tonight.

He was very sad. He was sure that all there was to life was tolerance. “You find somebody who wants to spend their life with you, and you put up with them, because they put up with you,” he said.

He asked me what the most important thing in life is. “Is it how you impact others?”

I told him, “Love.”

He said, “Or at least tolerance.”

I shook my head.

“That’s jaded and cynical. It’s love. Love is the only thing we nev-

er run out of, no matter how much we use.”

We spoke of philosophy, of universal balance. He said, “There will always be a foil.

Yin and yang. Evil needs good to exist, and good needs evil.”

I said, “Good can exist independently of evil, and that’s what makes it stronger.”

He said, “But evil can exist independently of good, too.”

I said, “Evil independent of good is entropy, and nothing survives entropy. Evil needs good; good can exist without evil.”

He said, “But there has always been a balance, since the very beginning of time.”

I said, “There is no such thing as balance. One scale is always heavier than the other. It’s like human life: you’re never standing still. You’re always moving forward, or moving back.”

We spoke later of chance. I said, “I thought you didn’t believe in chance.”

He said, “Well, when you don’t believe in God, you have to believe in something. Everything’s either predestined or it’s not. So, chance.”

I said, “To the Greeks, chance was a god. Her name was Tyche.”

We spoke, too, of the importance of conversations that occur between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. I said they were the best of conversations, the most relevant.

He agreed. I said, “It’s when night falls, when everything is shrouded and small, that people can hear themselves think.”

He said, “But not during the day, when there is so much to do, when you’re always moving.”

My neighborhood was quiet, still. Dead.

The mechanized silence weighed on me.

There was nothing human about it, its detachment, its dispassion.

There was no love, and it was very cold. Our world is dying, and we are the ones killing it.

My friend asked me why I bothered. Why I’d looked him up, checked up on him after so long.

I said, “Because I love you. Friends take care

of one another. It’s what we were made for.”

Ray Bradbury wrote a book about our world.

It’s a very short book - when there is nothing human left, there is very little to be said. “‘Are you happy?’ “…Montag shook his head. He looked at a blank wall. The girl’s face was there… How like a mirror, too, her face. Impossible; for many people did you know that refracted your own light back to you?... How rarely did other people’s faces take of you and throw back to you your own expression, your own innermost trembling thought?... Why, he thought, now that I think of it, she almost seemed to be waiting for me there, in the street, so damned late at night... “’Sometimes...I like to put my head back, like this, and let the rain fall in my mouth.

It tastes just like wine.

Have you ever tried it?’ “…And she ran off and left him standing in the rain. Only after a long time did he move.

And then, very slowly, as he walked, he tilted his head back in the rain, for just a few moments, and opened his mouth...”

I told my friend, “The human heart’s a very tenacious thing.”

People mold us, shape us, reflect us, define us. No human is independent of his world, of the people who surround him. Sometimes all it takes is someone different, someone found, to show us who we really are, to show us who we’ve forgotten in ourselves along the way. Someone to think we’re worthwhile.

People go to great lengths to remain themselves. Sometimes they just need to be reminded. Sometimes they just need to be loved.

A friend jokingly called me a lost cause today. I replied with a grin, “Just because I don’t know where the hell I am most of the time doesn’t mean I’m lost.”

Think hard. Look closely. Love bravely and too well.

Are you happy? S

February 22 to February 28, 2011

the scribe The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs

Editor-in-Chief.........................................Avalon Manly Managing Editor........................................Jessica Lynch Business Manager..........................................Matt Baatz Advertising/Sales Manager..........................Luis Hidalgo News Editor.............................................Joesph Ruffini Culture Editor.........................................Brock Kilgore Athletics Editor......................................Matt Crandall Opinion/Scribble Editor...........................Cherise Fantus Photograhy Editor.................................Ariel Lattimore Copy Editor.............................................Cherise Fantus Web Master.............................................Dorian Rogers Layout Designers..........................................J.D. Osorio ..................................................................Emily Olson Reporters...................................................Alex Cramer ............................................................Ryan Piechowski .................................................................Sara Horton ....................................................................Matt Sidor ...................................................................Ryan Adams Photographer.........................................Michelle Wood Junior Reporters.....................................Jeremy Lengele ..................................................................Dan Mancini ..................................................................Mckye Kelly Junior Photographer...................................Brett Owens Contributors...........................................Steven Farrell Cartoonist............................................................Arno Distributor...........................................Donald Trujillo Advisor.....................................................Laura Eurich -----------------Cover Photo by Brett Owens-----------------The Scribe UC 106 (719) 255-3658 | (719) 255-3469 | (719) 255-3600 www.uccsscribe.com | scribe.eic@gmail.com

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February 22 to February 28, 2011

student life

all aboard

the

failboat

Page 3

I don’t think Nemo is going to be able to identify anybody.

Three Chicago teens were arrested last Monday on charges of residential burglary and animal cruelty. The boys, aged 15, 16 and 17, invaded a house that had been recently evacuated due to fire and stole a game system, CD player, BB gun, DVDs, video games, jewelry and a safe from the residence.

One boy, the 16-year-old, then poured ketchup, mustard, hot sauce and various spices into the fish tank to poison the aquatic inhabitants of the house, purportedly because he didn’t want to leave “any witnesses,” according to the Huffington Post. All three goldfish perished because the oxygen levels in hot sauce are astonishingly inadequate for the filtration provided by goldfish gills. Chicago police called the crime “disturbing.”

HOW WE EVOLVED TO DOING NOTHING

Tigers interfering with your squirrel hunting? Just get a really hardcore wife.

Dr. David Bassett, Jr. presents a lecture entitled, “A Scientific History of Inactivity: How We Evolved to Doing Nothing,” in UC 116 on Feb. 24 at 11 a.m.

Bassett holds a Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin and directs UT Applied Physiology Laboratory in the Department of Kinesiology, Recreation and Sports Studies at the University of Tennessee.

Tambun Gediu of Malaysia was attacked by a tiger while hunting squirrels last week and would almost certainly have been killed – had his wife not arrived and beaten the animal away with a wooden ladle. Tambun’s wife, Han Besau, 55, raced to Tambun’s aid when she heard him cry out. “I was trailing a squirrel and crouched to shoot it with my blowpipe when I saw the tiger,” Tambun told the BBC. “That’s when I realized that I was being trailed.”

Tambun tried to flee up a tree, but the tiger used its claws to drag him down; thanks to his wife’s quick – and undeniably epic – actions, he was admitted to the hospital only for treatment of lacerations on his legs and face.

FTW

“Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality.”

–Beatrix Potter

Fill out the sudoku puzzle below so that each row and column contain the numbers 1 through 9 with none repeated. Return it to the Scribe office when finished, along with the adjacent crossword; if you’re the first one done (and they’re done right), you’ll be awarded with a Scribe T-shirt.

news

Page 4

February 22 to February 28, 2011

‘Mount Trashmore’ helps to raise campus The news in brief UCCS parters with overseas education program awareness about recycling, daily waste Ryan Adams

radams3@uccs.edu On Feb. 16, the UCCS Office of Sustainability hosted the annual “Mount Trashmore,” a recycling awareness event that occurred between Kraemer Family Library and the Science and Engineering building. From 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., Office of Sustainability employees, students and faculty took a mountain of trash gathered by Facility Services and sorted through it to find all the recyclable items.

“Last year at the Mount Trashmore event, we found that 50 percent of what had been thrown in the trash could have been diverted from the landfill and recycled,” said Kevin Gilford, a manager at the Office of Sustainability.

“Mount Trashmore” is one of the events planned at UCCS for the nationwide “RecycleMania” event which is a 10-week competition among 630 universities and colleges nationwide. The goal is to see who can reduce the most waste and recycle the most material. Besides UCCS, there are six other schools in Colorado who are competing, including UCCS’ neighbors, Colorado College and the United States Air Force Academy.

“RecycleMania,” as defined on the event’s website, www.recyclemania.org, is a friendly competition and a benchmarking tool for college and university recycling programs to push for reducing waste around their campus communities.

Over a stretch of 10 weeks, schools from all over the nation report recycling and trash data. This information is then ranked in the following five categories: the largest amount of recyclables per capita, the largest amount of total recyclables, the least amount of trash per capita and the highest recycling rate. Each week’s results are used to motivate

and encourage the campus communities to increase their efforts.

“RecycleMania” was started by students at both Ed Newman of Ohio University and Stacy Edmonds Wheeler of Miami University in February of 2001. The idea stemmed from the surplus of trash and lack of recycling found in the student’s residence and dining halls.

This influenced both students to create a competition between the two universities to see who could recycle the most and who could use the least amount of trash. The idea gained even more momentum in 2002 and 2003, and currently involves 630 universities, 6 million students and 1.5 million faculty and staff.

At UCCS, “plastic bottles, containers with the number 1-7 on

the bottom of them, drink cans, glass bottles, jars, papers, magazines, notebooks, newspapers, cardboard, paperboard and shredded paper” should be recycled, said Gilford, one of the many who spearheaded the “Mount Trashmore” project. “UCCS has a singlestream recycling program, which means that all of the above materials can be placed in a single bin.

Recycling bins are located throughout the campus in every building and in every classroom as well as in numerous outdoor locations,” said Gilford. The items that were found to be recyclable were placed inside the El Pomar Center in front of the north-side library doors. Look for many more “RecycleMania” events to come in the next 10 weeks.

UCCS programs will soon be offered overseas in India, as was announced on Feb. 11. A Center for Services Excellence will be set up through a partnership with Global Talent Track and Europe Asia Business School and will be launched this year. According to Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalabak, “At UCCS we encourage innovation through teaching, research and service and prepare our students to succeed in a rapidly changing global and technologically advancing environment.”

She furthered, “This program will help reach out to many more students in this part of the world and will give us an opportunity to increase the span of our global education.” The center will focus both on research and multi-disciplinary academic programs in India. By partnering with the advanced degree program students will receive their master’s degree in UCCS’ Information Assurance.

-JL S

UCCS History professor incoporates blogs into ciricculum

Paul Harvey, a professor in the Department of History, has turned to blogging to increase student participation.

While he would prefer teaching with his first love, jazz, he continues to strive for a “theme-on-improvisation” teaching model. He believes this to be a balance between “teacher-centered” and “student-centered” ways of instructing. The idea for blogs stemmed from his desire to continually integrate and experiment with new technologies and tools. As Harvey explained, “I created a simple blog for the course and posted ideas and questions there.

I then asked students to respond to questions with short essays.” Most of his students, he furthered, responded well to the blog, and those skilled in the blogosphere helped pave the way for the rest of the class. As with most teaching exercises, he explained, “It takes a lot of time and patience.” A blog written by Harvey and dedicated to American religious history can be found and viewed at usreligion.blogspot.com.

-JL S

SKIRT promotes female empowerment with workshops and music

In the interests of promoting safer sex and working toward female empowerment, students at UCCS have worked to help organize the SKIRT Festival. An acronym for “sex, knowledge, involve, rhythm and transform,” the SKIRT Festival is a celebration of female musical performances and offers attendees education on safer sex habits. The SKIRT Festival will begin on Feb. 26 at 2 p.m. at Colorado College’s Armstrong Hall.

It is open and free to the public.

A $5 donation to the Women’s Resource Agency of Colorado is suggested, but not required. The festival’s theme is one of female empowerment and education and the Women’s Resource Agency strives to ensure women in the Pike’s Peak region have a voice. The agency offers a variety of services such as personal and career development counseling, guidance for healthier lifestyle choices and personal development.

Along with a celebration and a showcase of talented musicians, another aspect of the festival will include workshops and seminars. Planned Parenthood will provide a workshop to teach about safer sex, and there will be alternative sex workshops such as the SKIRT Festival’s masturbation workshop.

Along with performances by groups such as The John Band, noted female musician Abigail Washburn will be performing on the main stage during the festival. Critically lauded for her folk-music sound, Washburn will be delivering her banjo performance as the event’s headline. Although tickets are not required for the majority of the performances or for any of the workshops, Abigail Washburn’s performance at 7 p.m., will be available to ticket holders only. Tickets are available at CC Worner Desk, phone (719) 389-6000.

-JL

Photos by Brett Owens

Mount Trashmore is an annual event designed to demonstrate how much everyday waste is actually recyclable material; usually, about half of the “trash” could have been resued.

S

- Scribe Staff

news Investigation into death of UCCS student continues February 22 to February 28, 2011

Matt Sidor

msidor@uccs.edu Last Fall this paper reported on the passing of Stephan Wilson, aged 32, a full-time Economics student at UCCS. Stephan was found dead on the morning of Oct. 1 in his home near Rockrimmon Boulevard and Del Monico Drive, west of Interstate 25. The property manager found his body after responding to complaints from neighbors about a loud television or radio that had been blaring all night.

The El Paso County coroner’s office determined the cause of death to be a gunshot wound to the head. The autopsy ruled out the possibility of a suicide. No suspects have been arrested in the mysterious homicide. A request for the official report from Colorado Springs Police Department was denied as the felony remains an open case. Stephan’s unknown assailant is listed on the CSPD’s Most Wanted web page alongside just eight other cases.

Stephan had lived in his

condominium for about a year-and-a-half; neighbors described him as “pretty mild-mannered,” expressing shock at such a violent crime in an area normally quiet and low in crime.

A press conference was held by the homicide investigations department on Nov. 8, asking for anyone who may have seen or known about Stephan’s activities and whereabouts in the days leading up to the crime to contact them as soon as possible.

At the same conference, Stephan’s family appeared to talk about Stephan’s life and plead for assistance from anyone who might have information. Video of the conference is available on the Colorado Springs Police Department’s Facebook page.

Anyone with information is actively encouraged to call Colorado Springs Police at (719) 444-7000, or Crime Stoppers at (719) 634-STOP (7867). S

The Scribe is HIRING! Are you interested in WRITING or PHOTOGRAPHY? The Scribe is seeking photojournalists and reporters.

Photo courtesy of newsfirst5.com

Stephan Wilson’s family has requested that anyone with information contact CSPD.

Compulsory Healthcare Bill Leads to Colorado Insurance Co-op Joseph Ruffini jruffini@uccs.edu The new healthcare act will make health insurance a legal requirement for all US citizens. Colorado politicians have drafted a bill to make finding the best healthcare plan a little easier for Colorado citizens. After Colorado became one of the deciding swing votes in the ratification of the new healthcare reform bill, newest Colorado Senator Irene Aguilar has introduced her own bill.

Her proposal would create a commission to investigate the funding of the Colorado Health Care Cooperative.

“The idea is to do selfsign-up health insurance through state-based, integrated health care systems and medical homes. So that every person in the state would belong to an integrated medical system and medical home that would track and ensure

Page 5

their health.” Aguilar stated in a recent interview with the Independent.

Her proposed system would work much like a vacation travel site. Instead of the system searching for the best airfare, it would find what company has the best rate on health insurance based on individuals’ personal information. Her bill does allow for individuals to purchase healthcare outside of the system if they so choose, but hopes the ease of finding coverage will help the over 700,000 Coloradoans without coverage.

Aguilar, a former primary care physician, has been at the forefront of Colorado’s healthcare reform for the last few years, including serving as the president of “Healthcare for all Colorado,” an organization devoted to organizing healthcare in the state.

Aguilar cautioned many times when she revealed the bill that it was not to create the Cooperative,

but simply to investigate how it could be done.

“The legislature would have the opportunity to say, ‘This is a good idea; lets refer it to the ballot,’ or ‘It’s not a good idea; we won’t refer it to the ballot,’” said Aguilar, “Although if citizens wanted to do it anyway they could go for a citizens’ initiative.”

Aguilar hopes that this initiative will lead to the creation of the Cooperative for Colorado, as has already been researched in other states such as Nevada. Even with the Co-op, the price of healthcare to the majority of uninsured citizens may be higher than the federal penalties for not having any coverage at all. Aguilar’s hope is that allowing insurance to be affordable will allow physicians to concentrate on “healthcare, not disease care.”

The bill has not yet passed Colorado’s senate, but should be before the voters soon. S

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news

Page 6

February 22 to February 28, 2011

UCCS senior Chris Medina introduces ‘For Colored Girls’ Sara Horton shorton@uccs.edu “For Colored Girls” ended its run at the Osborne Theatre on Feb. 13, which marked the first time the critically acclaimed play had ever been performed at UCCS or in Colorado Springs.

It was also UCCS senior Chris Medina’s directorial debut. “I wanted to pick something I was passionate about,” explained Medina when asked about his play choice. “For Colored Girls” is a play written by Ntozake Shange that focuses on African American women and their struggles with rape, abortion and domestic violence. Each woman in the play is only known by the color she wears. When Medina saw the play performed last year in Denver, he pitched the idea for it last spring.

As a white male, Medina admitted “For Colored Girls” was challenging for him to direct and emotionally exhausting for everyone involved. Still, he enjoyed the experience. “I

was happy to do it because some actresses don’t get a shot to show what they can really do,” said Medina. He explained one of the actresses in “For Colored Girls” was used to being cast in roles such as “the loud black girl.”

Although she initially had trouble adapting to a more complex character, Medina worked with her so she could master the change in difficulty. “I knew she just needed to push,” he said. “I wouldn’t let her give up.”

In addition to helping some actresses fully realize their characters, Medina’s cast had mixed theatre experience. The cast ranged from women who had been in thirty plays to women who had never been on stage before. Despite the challenges Medina encountered while directing “For Colored Girls,” he was thrilled with the production. “We had an amazing run,” stated Medina. “This cast had the most talented, charismatic, happy people I have ever had the pleasure of working with.”

Medina himself is no stranger to the stage. He has starred in productions

by Theatre d’art, Theatreworks, Theatre HikesColorado and UCCS. His acting debut began in elementary school and it was there, on the stage, that his love for theater took root.

From then on Medina said he knew he wanted to be an entertainer and contribute to people’s lives with his art.

After moving to Colorado from Los Angeles, Medina enrolled at UCCS as an English major. He auditioned for and was cast in his first play a year ago. Since then, Medina said he was cast in shows consistently for a year and a half. He also changed his major to Visual and Performing Arts with an emphasis in theater and a minor in American Sign Language. In addition to acting and directing, Medina has been involved in stage management, production, prop design and PR. Medina staged last year’s “The Vagina Monologues,” and this

year’s production will be Medina’s next directorial project. The 15 women who make up the cast are a unique blend of UCCS students, faculty and members of the Colorado Springs community. The show will run March 31 to April 2 at 7:30 p.m. at the Gallery of Contemporary Art. After “The Vagina Monologues” is done, Medina admitted he looked forward to taking a rest but was still interested in directing. “I might direct a show next year,” he said. “I have a few play ideas. I’m toying with the idea right now.”

His schedule is just as busy outside the theater.

Medina is the Black History Chair for BSU, a Cub Scout Leader for the Boy Scouts of America, a Monster Energy representative at UCCS and President of Club Elias, a charity for Zimbabwean youth. He said he will soon audition for three more shows and plans to start an ASL club with some fellow classmates.

After he graduates from UCCS, Medina said he

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

Medina doesn’t usually look this terrified, we swear. The request for an interview must have startled him.

will stick around Colorado for a little while longer before attending graduate school at either Brown or UCLA. He plans to study African American literature and studies, but in the mean time Medina wants to accomplish a goal at UCCS: make the campus feel more connected. Be-

Students chill on ice climbing excursion Ryan Piechowski rpiechow@uccs.edu On Feb. 20, Student Outdoor Leadership Expeditions Club (S.O.L.E.) led students on a hike out to Cheyenne Canyon for the second annual ice climbing excursion.

Led by Daniel Bowan, Coordinator of Outdoor Activities at the UCCS Recreation Center, eight students went out into the Colorado Springs wilderness to receive an introductory look at the basics of ice climbing. For $25, the trip covered everything from how to use certain tools and techniques to eventually applying these techniques into an actual ice climbing experience.

The introductory course, which was taught before the hands-on climbing portion got under way, provided partakers with a simple ice climbing foundation.

According to Bowan, the participating students received instruction in all areas.

“You get a school on everything from how to belay to all the safety type of things so it covers a wide range,” Bowan shared.

After receiving information on how to use all of the appropriate equipment, which included crampons, ice axes, harnesses and boots, students jumped into action and put their newly found knowledge to the test.

Starting at a basic level, the participants were able to take their tools and traverse across frozen waterfalls which reach up to fifty feet in width. Beginning at only about a foot off the ground, students took time to get used to their equipment as they tooled across the ice wall.

“It’s a great learning experience,” Bowan explains, “Students can practice knocking some ice off and finding good holes.”

The ice climbing expedition is one of the most popular outdoor activities S.O.L.E hosts.

With the attendance list constantly filling up quickly along with several on a waiting list, Bowan hopes to expand on

this event in the very near future.

“It’s something we want to do more often,” Bowan said, “Obviously it’s super popular and its great to be able to drive just 15 minutes away to do it.”

Students are flocking in to sign up for this event each year and with a city-owned location locked up in Cheyenne Canyon, S.O.L.E looks forward to increasing the

cause UCCS is so spread out and the theater department is separated from the main campus, Medina thought the UCCS community sometimes feels more distant than it should.

“I really wish I could help make the UCCS campus a whole before I leave,” said Medina. S

frequency of these trips as well as the amount of equipment they have to accommodate the high demand.

Bowan recommends visiting the Rec. Center itself, or the UCCS Rec. Center website to inquire about future events and trips not only for ice climbing, but for any of the other outdoor activities S.O.L.E sponsors. S

Photo courtesy of captainkimo.com

The UCCS Student Outdoor Leadership Expeditions Club took students on an ice climbing expedition at Cheyenne Canyon, home of the popular Seven Falls hike.

culture

February 22 to February 28, 2011

Page 7

A Series of Local Escapes: Stories and photos by Brock Kilgore and Avalon Manly

ABOVE

‘Tis the season when butts and bellies bulge and everyone gets a little depressed. Many sources, including sunshinevitamin.org, say that, “Vitamin D sufficiency, along with diet and exercise, has emerged as one of the most preventative factors in human health.” Sunshine is free, we happen to have lots of it and nearly 90 percent of our vitamin D comes from the sun. So why not kill two birds with one stone and get outside to cure the blues and lose the girth? Just use sunscreen and don‘t let yourself burn.

I grew up in Black Forest and as I remember, they can have some pretty wily winter weather. With that said, having also endured several wicked Wisconsin winters, I know that we are very lucky to have so many sunny days. Regardless of this personal revelation, sometime near the middle of February every year I get to the point where I am willing to find a way out of whatever responsibility I might have when that sacred sun shines.

Many students may be new to the area or just unfamiliar with outside excursions, so the following places are close to campus, are well-exposed to sunshine and each provides a unique set of outdoor experiences.

Always hike or bike with a friend, use sunscreen, bring extra water, food and clothing and tread lightly.

&

Garden of the Gods

OK, so nearly e v eryone has been to the Garden of the Gods, but the park is best appreciated from a bicycle on a sunny winter day without the throngs of tourists baking in the midday heat. Keep in mind, what is a lazy drive in a car can be a challenging roller coaster ride on a bike.

Park at the Visitors Center on 30th Street and follow the loop to the right. Bike lanes keep traffic at bay, but be very careful because the quick descents are often followed by sharp turns, especially the first one. Take a right and head down to Balanced Rock and back. Follow the loop back around to the start and if you have any legs left at all, do another loop or try some of the trails in the mountain biking area on the east side of the park.

Pulpit Rock Park

Pulpit Rock is the large white isolated rock visible just to the north and east of the Four Diamonds complex. The Pulpit Rock Park is actually the northern portion of what is called the Austin Bluffs Open Space, which also comprises the University Park behind the Heller Center and the Austin Bluffs Park, or the bluffs directly behind campus.

If approached from the southwest on a warm winter afternoon the hike up to Pulpit Rock is a good climb, is very sunny, has excellent views and is easy to access from campus. Park at the Four Diamonds or take the shuttle from campus and follow the power lines north along the west edge of the lot. Pass a Dumpster at the edge of the pavement and follow the fence line to a tree that hides a gate.

Once through the gate follow the path across the gully and up to the new road to the Heller Center. Follow the road to the east and take the last of the three paths on the left. This double track is actually the old road to the Houck Homestead. Follow the path along the ridge to the hidden remnants of the homestead’s fireplace.

Pass the relics and find the steep path heading north toward Pulpit Rock out of the hollow.

Follow the path to the top being careful to look for cool rocks and noticing the yuccas, cactus and evergreens. Be very careful on the top, as many people have fallen. Consider bringing a nice picnic snack to share on the top while soaking in the sun and all the views, but be careful to head back by about 3:30 p.m. because the sun will drop like a rock.

below

(continued on page 8)

Page 8

culture

February 22 to February 28, 2011

The World Beneath

In the mountains, below ground can be just as scenic and rejuvenating as the world above.

While the Rockies – and the canyons throughout them in particular – are riddled with caves, it can be very dangerous to try to explore them without caving experience or the assistance of a trained guide. Therefore, to eliminate the risk of getting horribly lost or injured, visit Cave of the Winds, off Highway 24 on the east end of Ute Pass, for a guided tour of some of Colorado’s richest subterranean wonders.

There are a couple of options available for tours.

The Discovery Tour is available all day, seven days a week, year-round. Tickets range from $9 to $18, and the tour (about 45 minutes long) covers a wide array of underground formations, including stalactites (on the ceiling), stalagmites (on the floor), cave coral, columns, flutes, cave bacon – a real thing – and passageways of varying sizes.

The Lantern Tour is a little longer and explores a section of the caves that isn’t wired for electric light. Each tourist is given a candle to light

their way, and the tour features considerable history and folklore, as opposed to the general background and information on the Discovery Tour. Tickets range from $12 to $22, and the Lantern Tour is not recommended for children five and younger.

The most recent Cave of the Winds experience is called the Eco-Venture Flashlight Tour, and was created in order to reduce the business’ carbon footprint. They’ll turn the main cavern lights off during the evenings from now until Labor Day weekend, and offer guided tours by flashlight from 6 to 9 p.m. every day.

Tickets range from $9 to $18, and all ages are welcome. This tour is also about 45 minutes long and covers approximately a half-mile of the cave system’s many pathways.

The nice thing about exploring underground is that it’s always the same temperature. If it’s freezing outside, it’ll be a balmy 54 degrees underground; if it’s burning up out in the sun, heading underground will cool you down.

Subterranian ecosystems are the only biological realms on Earth that can exist without direct sunlight. There aren’t many in Cave of the Winds, but if you’re lucky, you might see

a lampshade spider, a rare - and endangered - albino arachnid that creates 3-D, vaguely cynlidrical webs that look a little like an upside-down lampshade.

Rocks also do some pretty funky things when left to their own devices. Erosion in the limestone forms flutes and rock waterfalls in the softer mineral material; mineral-rich water gradually crystalizes into the tiny, fragile curlicues known as cave coral; water and sediment drip and run and flow until a whole alien forest of columns, stalactites and stalagmites is formed, undisturbed by wind or nature or the elements. It’s a world entirely its own. S

February 22 to February 28, 2011

culture

Page 9

Pee Wee Herman, ‘Twilight’ boast own drinking games Jessica Lunch jylnch@uccs.edu In the 1970s, “The Bob Newhart Show” was a popular program that grew into a recognized drinking game. It was one of the first of its kind and has since revolutionized the innocuous activity of staring glumly at the television set. In this original game, anytime someone said, “Hi, Bob,” you had to drink. It was one of the only rules.

Now, not only can you Google any television series or grossly popularized book and find at least one drinking game, but each show has a minimum of 15 rules. And these rules can be as simple or as frequent as every time Horatio Cane from “CSI: Miami” removes his sunglasses or says a one-liner.

If you have ever watched the show, following those two rules would easily find you passed out in the bathtub with an eyebrow shaved off.

There is no one reason for the incredible obsession and increase in the number of TV drinking games. According to one student, they are popular because, “It doesn’t require any thinking or motion other than getting up for another drink.” This would also explain weight gain.

Access is also an important component as the Internet provides a plethora of websites dedicated to ensuring you drink yourself to oblivion while watch-

ing some god-awful show that would otherwise have you tearing your eyeballs out. Some of these include “Oprah,” “Pokemon” and “Pee Wee’s Playhouse.”

As explained by one website housing more than 100 drinking games, “Finish your drink every time Pee Wee looks up a woman’s skirt.” Apparently, this happens more frequently than one would like to believe.

The formulaic aspect of TV drinking games might also influence its rapid increase as anyone with half a brain can devise their own game. By familiarizing yourself with the show’s plot and characters, racking your brain for pointless rules becomes a fairly simple feat, depending on your level of drunkenness.

Your willingness to drink incessantly will not be viewed as a problem, but rather an asset. Well, until you decide crawling on the furniture like a scary animal with rabies is a good idea.

TV drinking games, another student claimed, are “a way to validate continued alcoholism when a party starts to slow down.” This technique also ensures no one has to endure any awkwardly sober conversations with people they might actually remember the next day. There are also no rules in regard to the number of participants, which really adds to a feeling of inclusiveness and equality at parties.

Television drinking games have instilled the idea that everything is better when you’re drunk. Other activities, like

going to the movies, reading a book or going to the swimming pool are super boring otherwise.

This idea is best understood through a recent drinking game that incorporates Stephanie Meyer’s, “Twilight.” As explained by the site, “There is no way to get through this book sober.” Again, we see how alcohol is used to both enhance normal activities, like television,

and make other things, like “Twilight,” somewhat bearable. With nearly 40 rules, your health is at stake. One rule forces you to down your drink “when you finish a chapter that does absolutely nothing to advance the plot.” This one rule could be the end of you.

Drinking games aren’t going anywhere; all we can hope is that Colorado Springs’ recent herpes outbreak will. S

Photo Courtesy of travelpod.com

The Scribe encourages those students who are of age to drink responsibly. It is therefore noteworthy that participants might die of alcohol poisoning playing the ‘Twilight’ drinking game.

culture

Page 10

‘Bug’ presents cautionary tale about love and drugs Sara Horton shorton@uccs.edu

Photo by Brock Kilgore

Mountain Shadows presents an independently-owned take on the traditional greasy fare of roadside diners. Fried fish and chips are one of their specialties.

Get your good ‘n’ greasy on at Mountain Shadows Brock Kilgore

bkilgore@uccs.edu Ma and Pa greasy spoons are everywhere in this country, and they really make Denny’s and Village Inn obsolete. Eggs, bacon, hash browns and gravy are easy to make, and going out to breakfast is even easier; so why give that money to corporate America? Why not put that money in the pockets of individual restaurateurs who invariably put their own spin on the classics instead.

Mountain Shadows is just that kind of place.

They are open every day from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. serving breakfast and lunch the entire time. I don’t like eggs, and since nearly every breakfast dish in America includes them, it is nice to be able to order lunch items at any time.

This Westside eatery specializes in hubcapsized pancakes and mild or quite spicy green chili, but they have all the classic breakfast items, an American style lunch menu, and everything is good and greasy. The daily specials are the best value with: hash browns covered with green chili on Monday ($4), SOS (chipped beef gravy on white bread) with eggs and hash browns on Tuesday ($6), all-you-can-eat biscuits and gravy on Wednesday ($4), a pancake stack with eggs on top on Thursday ($5), and either biscuits and gravy with hash browns and eggs ($6) or all-you-

February 22 to February 28, 2011

can-eat fish fry ($9) on Friday.

All of the properties along Colorado Avenue in Old Colorado City are zoned commercial, so Mountain Shadows is actually housed in an old home, and it does feel cozy. The two main rooms contain many tables, but they are spaced well enough apart to prevent rubbing elbows with other customers. The service is fast, friendly and informal, and the many ‘regulars’ are on a first name basis. Their slogan is “we love our tourists, but we treasure our locals.”

Their greasy food and informal atmosphere are perfect for that awkward morning-after-hookingup breakfast, are the perfect the cure for the wicked hangover or can be a great part of that sunny day of playing hooky. The shops in Old Colorado just up the street from Mountain Shadows are overpriced and, well, kind of silly, but watching tourists walk around and spend their money is fun and can occupy a few hours of not doing what you are supposed to be doing.

Their mild pork green chili is well flavored with a touch of cumin, I think, and the hot chorizo green chili is just on the edge of too hot. Both are well suited in a large bowl by themselves with two tortillas as a meal ($5), and both are great slathered over the huge breakfast burrito ($9.29, or $7.29 for 1/2), a chile relleno ($9) or huevos rancheros

($8.29).

I love French dips and theirs is one of the better ones in town ($8.29), and their signature Mountain Man sandwich with roast beef, bacon, grilled onions, mushrooms and swiss cheese is also goopy and great ($9.29, or $8.29 for the smaller Mountain Mama). They use Ranch Foods Direct beef, so if you are a burger fan try indulging in the Bleu Burger with Bleu cheese crumbles and dressing or the Southwest Burger with green chiles, jack cheese and a side of salsa (both $8.29).

In the upper Midwest Friday fish fries are a staple, and I have been looking for a good one here in Colorado Springs for a long time. Theirs is all-you-can-eat with homemade potato chips for only $9, so maybe try starving yourself Thursday night and Friday morning for a frickin’ fish fest. The homemade desserts and huge cinnamon rolls are also worth it, so save some room if you can. S

The Rundown What Mountain Shadows Restaurant Where 2223 West Colorado Ave. More Info 719.633.2122 Rating 4 out of 5 Greasy Spoons

The Star Bar Players kicked off their run of the play “Bug” on Feb. 18. Writer Tracy Letts’ play has been described most accurately as a psychodrama. Its main subject is Agnes (Star Bar’s artistic director Alysabeth Clements Mosley), a lonely middle-aged waitress who hides from her past in an Oklahoma hotel room. The story begins its steady spiral into madness when she is introduced to Peter (Theatre ‘d Art co-founder Jonathan Margheim), an intense young man carrying a bug and a secret.

“Bug” is a rollercoaster: the play starts out slow, but it quickly gains momentum and demands an audience’s attention throughout the ride. Tension surrounds the first act, which reveals Agnes has been hiding from an ex-husband who just got out of prison and is intent on rekindling their relationship. She indulges in drugs and booze, which she shares with a friend who introduces Agnes to a mysterious drifter named Peter.

Peter isn’t forthcoming about his history, which makes the audience wonder what he has to hide, yet he is interesting enough for Agnes to let him stay with her for awhile. Both of the characters are almost too demoralized and down on their luck to trust anyone with their hearts, but Agnes and Peter become lovers nonetheless. Their connection is genuine, but “Bug” is not a love story that ends happily ever after.

Their first night in bed together reveals a bug, which eats at Peter and launches both him and Agnes into a rocky journey laced with cocaine and wild suspicions.

This is where the play really takes off and the audience can only sit back and

hold on. Mosley and Margeim build a mounting sense of paranoia scene after scene until it finally collapses to ignite a miraculous and panicky climax. Although I found myself laughing at points throughout the play, my laughter wasn’t due to any faults in the performance. The cast knew its way around paranoia and irrational fears so well that the ridiculousness of it all was almost overwhelming.

The conclusion of “Bug” made me leave the venue feeling as if I had something scuttling around beneath my skin.

“Bug” is not a play for the conservative theatergoer. There is foul language, violence, and drug use, but none of these subjects should feel particularly foreign to college students. The Star Bar Players also warned there was nudity, which I accepted, but I was admittedly caught off guard when the actors stripped down to their birthday suits. If complete nudity is too far outside your comfort zone, maybe you should sit this one out. However, you will miss out in doing so. Whether you’re an avid theater fan, looking for something new, or can’t wait until Halloween for a good scare, take in a showing of the Star Bar Players’ “Bug.” It’s well worth the two hours of your time.

“Bug” is performed at Attitudes Performing Arts Center at 1502 – 1504 North Hancock. The venue is in a strip mall behind a senior center between Uintah and Caramillo.

The show will be performed at 8 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays and at 4 p.m. on Sundays for the following dates: February 25, 26, 27 and March 4, 5, 6, 11 and 12. Tickets are $15, $12 for seniors and military and $6 for students. Tickets can be purchased online at starbarplayers.org/season.htm or reserved by sending an email to tickets@starbarplayers. org. S

Now on display at GOCA

Photos Courtesy of uccs.edu/~goca.com Above: ‘Self Portrait as a Puking Sleeping Giant,’

by Kyle Bravo, on display in the UCCS Gallery of Contemporary Art through Mar. 18. It’s part of the Rupture exhibit, which features works of various mediums, ranging from print to performance, all the pieces of which revolve around the central theme of the often explosive relationship between humans and nature. The exhibit also features pieces by artists Jenny LeBlanc and Claire Rau. Bravo and LeBlanc are married and work together out of their studio in New Orleans.

Right: LeBlanc puts the finishing touches on her work, ‘Rigged,’ a representation of the scaffolding commonly found supporting houses in New Orleans.

The exhibit is free and open to the public. GOCA is open Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Saturdays and Sundays by appointment only.

-AM

athletics

February 22 to February 28, 2011

Page 11

UCCS, CSU intramurals grow with on-campus living Ryan Adams

radams3@uccs.edu This semester, UCCS’ intramural program isn’t the only one booming with popularity. Universities all over Colorado have reported a great increase in demand. The two schools that responded to the intramural survey, UCCS and CSU-Fort Collins, have noticed a correlation between the increase of students in on-campus housing and their intramural program numbers.

Daniel Bowan, coordinator of outdoors, intramurals and club sports at UCCS has noticed significant growth over the last couple years. “We’ve experienced about a ten percent growth this year in our intramural sports and events. The tournaments at the beginning of the year were definitely more popular, and we expect the same for our spring

tournaments as well.”

Bowan also said, “Having student housing like the dorms and apartments be so close to the rec. center is a huge plus for us, as well as the events we host here during the year.” This spring, Bowan expects the intramural program to bring in about 1100 to 1200 participants; however, he wouldn’t be surprised to see as many as 1300 to 1400 students sign up.

UCCS’ neighbor to the north, Colorado State University, has seen a similar growth rate, according to Rob Patchett, assistant director of intramural sports at the university. “Our intramural program is very active here and most of our events are at full capacity,” he said.

Of the 27,000 students who go to the university, 4000 to 5000 students will participate in intramurals this spring. Patchett also believes that the intramu-

ral program at Colorado State could experience further expansion. “There is always room for exploring the offering of new intramural events, as well as changing the manner in which we offer the events we currently program - both of which can allow for expansion of the intramural student participant base,” stated Patchett. “Limitations that exist here, as at most institutions, include accessible and programmable facility space that is shared between academic departments, sport clubs, other campus recreational programs and often athletics,” He furthered.

Colorado State’s spring intramural program includes eight four-week leagues and four one- to two-day tournaments. UCCS’ spring intramurals provides a similar format with month-long leagues and one-day tournaments. These

run the entire semester and end the week before finals with the “Spring Showdown.”

“The Spring Showdown is the first week in May where the rec center hosts a bunch of one day tournaments. Kickball, water volleyball, flag football, ultimate Frisbee and even cricket will be held during the week,” said Bowan. “Currently, we have leagues of five on five basketball, five on five indoor soccer and inner-tube water polo running. Starting April 4, we will have leagues of softball and volleyball that will run until “Spring Showdown week,” he continued. The leagues cost $30 a team and all of the tournaments are free to UCCS students if they sign up in time.

Even though UCCS is seen as a commuter school, Bowan believes the rec center gets the word out about intramurals and other events. “Of course it can

be kind of challenging to get people to come, but we have been putting more energy into social media and our newly revamped website to make people more aware of things going on up here.” He also thinks that students on campus use intramurals as an opportunity to engage with other students.

“Everyone is looking to create bonds and traditions with the friends they make here and an intramural league is the perfect way to do that. An intramural sport is a type of event you do with a group of people that can build community and at the same time give you a time to socialize with your friends.” Students still wishing to play but unable to round up a team will be placed on teams in need of players; with that said, students are encouraged to get out there and enjoy what UCCS has to offer this spring semester. S

Photo Courtesy of Scribe Archives

The UCCS intramurals program has seen a steady increase in particpants over the last few years and on-campus housing may be partially responsible for overall increase.

Around the Lion’s Den: Salient sports shorts notables Women’s Softball (2-6, 0-0 RMAC)

Men’s and Women’s Track

Photo Courtesy of gomountainlions.com

Chelsea Overocker earned a provisional qualifying mark for nationals in the triple jump at the Colorado Mines Twilight Meet.

Feb. 18 at Golden, Colo.

Freshman Chelsea Overocker earned a provisional qualifying mark for nationals in the triple jump, as UCCS competed at the Colorado Mines Twilight Meet on Feb. 18.

Sophomore Dawn Eckert won the women’s 400-meter dash with an impressive time of 1:02.44, while junior Jessica Luna recorded a time of 1:04.97, which was good enough for a second place finish, and freshman Briana Kay Alley followed in third with 1:05.28.

On the men’s side, freshman Jonathan Wright won the 600 meters with a time of 1:24.27. Wright is currently No. 20 on the national performance list in to 400 meters.

Freshman Travis Whitman followed Wright, finishing second in the men’s 600 meter with a time of 1:26.69.

The Mountain Lions will aim for continued success as they prepare for the RMAC Indoor Championships which will be held in KearneyNebraska on Feb. 25 to 26.

Freshman Jessica Belsterling pitched a complete game and pelted a two-run home run while sophomores Landry Davis and Kailey Hernandez each drove in a pair of runs to lead UCCS to a 9-2 victory over Minnesota State-Mankato on Feb. 18.

The lady Mountain Lions continued their dominant play against St. Cloud on Feb. 19 as senior Amanda Hathaway hit two home runs and Belsterling pitched her second complete game win in a row. Despite St. Cloud making a strenuous comeback with a two-run homer in the sixth to keep them alive, Belsterling struck out Jordan Schaffer to end the sixth inning, ultimately, closing out the game.

UCCS will return home to Mountain Lions field to take on conference rival Ft. Lewis in a double header weekend, commencing Feb. 26. S

Feb. 18 at Rochester, Minn.

Minnesota State-Mankato 2, UCCS 9 Feb. 19 at Rochester, Minn.

St. Cloud 2, UCCS 5 Feb. 19 at Rochester, Minn.

Winona State 10, UCCS 2 Feb. 19 at Rochester, Minn.

Concordia-St. Paul 8, UCCS 0

Photo Courtesy of gomountainlions.com

Jessica Belsterling pitched a complete game and hit a two-run homerun against Minnesota State-Mankato on Feb. 18.

athletics

Page 12

February 22 to February 28, 2011

Home stand split is not enough as UCCS plays itself out of playoff conversation Alex Cramer acramer@uccs.edu UCCS rode strong performances from Brent Jones and Ben Feilmeier to victory over Chadron State and a close loss against Nebraska-Kearny in what was the final home stand of the season for the Mountain Lions at the Gallogly Events Center.

Friday night’s game against the Chadron State Eagles tipped off the weekend as the Mountain Lions won 82-73.

UCCS trailed at halftime in that game 42-41, due largely to the Eagles 56 percent shooting performance in the first half.

However, UCCS came out in the second half with a defensive focus, holding the Eagles to 31.4 percent shooting, which turned out to be the difference in the game.

Directing the Mountain Lion offense was senior Brent Jones, who had a team high 27 points while also managing to pull down eight rebounds, five assists and fives steals before fouling out late in the game with the win in hand.

“We’re starting to realize

that our time is running out and we’re trying to make the most of it,” said Jones.

Other senior contributions came from Rob Howe (17 points, nine rebounds) and Luke Hristou (eight points, five steals). Howe’s rebounding efforts were key down the stretch, eliminating second chance opportunities for Chadron.

“Rob came up with some huge rebounds down the stretch, just clearing it off the boards, ripping it down and being strong with it,” said UCCS coach Russ Caton. “That was the big difference.”

Moala Tautuaa led all Eagles players with 22 points while teammate Kevin McClelland chipped in 17 points.

The Mountain Lions’ Saturday night game was an entertaining affair that saw Brent Jones score a game high 21 points to go along with a game high eight rebounds, as UCCS failed to come away a winner, losing 82-79 to the NebraskaKearny Lopers.

The lose was especially heartbreaking coming on senior night, but a 15-2 run by the Lopers to open the second half doomed UCCS in an otherwise

closely contested game.

Ben Feilmeier added 17 points coming mostly off four 3-pointers to go along with Jones, as the two enjoyed their final home game along with fellow seniors Hristou and Howe.

“It’s pretty sad; I have a lot of good memories here,” said Feilmeier, “It hasn’t really sunk in yet that I won’t be coming out of that locker room anymore and running on the court.”

Mike Dentlinger led the Lopers with 15 points and tied Drew Sankey for the team lead in rebounds, as both recored six a piece.

The victory on Friday over Chadron kept the UCCS men in the hunt for the 8th and final RMAC playoff spot initially, but the loss on Saturday against Kearny mathematically eliminated UCCS from any playoff contention. While postseason aspirations may no longer be alive, next week’s road games against Colorado Christian and Colorado Mines are still a way for UCCS to take something positive into the offseason as they prepare for what could be a great 2011-2012 season.

S

Photo courtesy of gomountainlions.com

Senior Brent Jones (10) aims to knock the ball off a NebraskaKearney defender on Feb. 19.

Lady Mountain Lions successful on ‘Senior Night’ Ryan Adams

radams@uccs.edu The UCCS women’s basketball team split their last home games of the season this past weekend.

The last home stand, which included games against Chadron State and Nebraska-Kearney, celebrated a pair of special nights at the Gallogly Events Center.

Friday marked the “Pink Zone” event as the Lady Lions took on the Chadron State Eagles. Players, coaches and fans donned an array of pink clothing and accessories as UCCS partnered with the Women’s Basketball Coaches Association to raise breast cancer awareness.

While the night was a sea of pink, the evening ended blue as the Mountain Lions dropped a 6551 decision to the Lady Eagles.

Despite a career high 18 points from junior guard Jessica Brown, UCCS was unable to overcome a disastrous offensive first half. The Lady Lions managed to score just 16 points in the opening twenty minutes, shooting a lowly 20.7 percent from the field.

Regrouping at halftime, the women regained their offensive composure and after a remarkable

Photo courtesy of gomountainlions.com

Ashley Miller (middle) fights for position as UCCS defeated the Nebraska-Kearney Lopers 83-72 at the Gallogly Events Center on Feb. 19.

12-0 run were within five points. A mini Chadron run out-shone the comeback and brought the deficit back to double digits.

The Eagles never looked back and knocked off the Lady Lions for the second time this season.

Saturday was Senior Night for the Lady Lions, as they faced the Ne-

braska-Kearney Lopers.

While the spotlight was on seniors Alyse Bessert and Kallie Jiblits, it was junior Jessica Brown who once again stole the show.

Brown scored 29 points, passing her career high set just the night before, to lead UCCS to an 8372 victory over the Lady Lopers. Brown’s 29 was

the most points scored by a UCCS Lady Lion since 1997.

A back-and-forth first half filled with lead changes and ties ended in a 4242 lock up as both teams went into the locker room at halftime. The up-anddown flow of the game continued in the second half, and frequent lead

changes occurred the majority of the last 20 minutes.

The Lady Lions took the lead with five minutes remaining after a three pointer and pair of free throws from junior guard, Lauren Wolfinger. UCCS held on to their narrow lead the rest of the game, using free throws to carry

them to the eventual 11 point win in the final minute of play.

Splitting the weekend’s games took the Lady Lions to 8-16 on the year, 7-13 in RMAC play. UCCS closes out their year on the road next weekend with back-to-back games against Colorado Christian and Colorado School S of

February 22 to February 28, 2011

opinion

Page 13

Food safety guidelines make food less safe

How safe is our food, really? We have the USDA to monitor and control the safety of our food, so you would think it would be pretty safe, right? Well, not really.

In 2006, there was an E. coli outbreak in fresh spinach and another at Taco Bell restaurants across the country. In 2007, E. coli infested Topp’s Ground Beef Patties and Totino’s Cherise Fantus and Jeno’s Pizza. In 2008, cfantus@uccs.edu there was an outbreak in the ground beef sold in Kroger stores. In 2009, there were several outbreaks: in prepackaged cookie dough, in beef from JBS Swift Beef Company, in beef from Fairbank Farms and in beef from National Steak and Poultry. In 2010, we saw an outbreak on shredded lettuce from a single processing facility. Not to mention salmonella outbreaks and other food-borne illnesses.

If the USDA is supposed to make our food safer, then why do we see such an overwhelming number of outbreaks? The answer is simple: Their guidelines do not cover the actual cause of the outbreaks.

They regulate things such as how food is prepared and stored, and labeling foods with ingredients lists and potential contact with allergens, but it doesn’t regulate how the animals are fed and housed.

The fact is that cows are not built to subsist on a diet

of corn. Their bodies cannot process it properly. The make-up of the corn, combined with their natural digestive processes, creates an environment perfect for the growth of E. coli. Combine that with the way they are crammed together in the stockyards – so close that they are actually defecating on each other – and the perfect environment is created to infect our food with E. coli.

They are taken in for the slaughter – covered in the E. coli-infested fecal matter of multiple other cows.

They don’t so much as get hosed down before being sliced up into the beef that we are served every day.

Naturally, some of that excrement makes it into the beef that is produced by those cows. Not only is it just plain disgusting that there is cow manure in our beef, but there is also a good chance that the E. coli that was created by a corn diet has passed into that manure, and is now in our beef.

One solution to this problem is to “wash” the E. coli out of the meat. Beef Products, Inc., a South Dakota company, came up with the idea to inject meat with ammonia to kill E. coli and salmonella. The USDA endorses this practice, and it is now commonplace among the meat distributed to most well-known fast-food chains, including Mcdonald’s and Burger King. This should raise some red flags in any health-conscious person.

Ammonia is poison. The small amounts injected into the meat will supposedly not be harmful, but considering the vast amounts of beef that Americans consume, my guess is that the amount isn’t quite so insignificant.

Despite that, E. coli and salmonella have still been found in Beef Products meat multiple times, so the practice isn’t even totally effective. Instead of taking some haphazard, ineffective clean-up approach, a safer, cheaper,

more effective approach would be for the USDA to create guidelines to prevent the development and spread of these pathogens in the first place.

While factory-farm types of practices are commonplace in our food production, farmers like Joel Salatin of Polyface Farms have returned to the “grassroots” style of farming in an effort to make food safer and healthier. The USDA, however, still finds the slaughtering practices at Polyface Farms unsanitary, since they slaughter in the open air. When Polyface had both their chickens, and chickens from the supermarket lab tested, however, they found that their chickens averaged 133 CFU (colony-forming unit, a measure of viable bacterial or fungal numbers), and the store-bought chickens averaged 3600.

But the USDA said that the conventional practices were more sanitary, since they followed their guidelines. Maybe it’s time those guidelines were changed.

The system is obviously not working the way things are now.

While it may take awhile for the USDA to realize that they are complete idiots and revamp their strategies, we have the power to make safer choices for ourselves. Instead of buying the factory-farmed meat from the supermarket, look for those that are labeled “free-range,” “pasture raised” or “grass fed.” Better yet, find a local meat market that sells meat from local, pasture-raised animals.

Not only will you be purchasing food that is safer for you and your family, but also by not purchasing factoryraised meat, you are telling the USDA that you prefer safer, healthier food. Eventually, they might get the hint and change their ways. S

I think I’ll stare at the ceiling and paint rainbows today

My roommate’s kitten, Eros, used to bite my feet every morning. He was a ravenous kitten and while he would have just eaten, the appetizing movement of my toes would set him off and he would attack. I once woke to Jessica Lynch him gnawing on my jlynch@uccs.edu wrist after I let him cuddle with me all night. This morning he meowed and I almost gave in.

The only problem with my life right now is that my socks don’t match. Again. They haven’t matched in nearly 2 weeks now. I’m noticing a trend. The other day I had one purple striped sock and one batman sock.

The batman one was pretty cool, but it loses a lot of its magnitude when forced to live the solo life. Batman always needs his sidekick; it is the law of superheroes.

Well, unless you’re Plutonian from the graphic novel, “Irredeemable” and then you rock shit all by yourself and make everyone fear you because you can hear everything they ever said, thought or wrote. But then again, he’s also a recently transformed bad guy and he’s the baddest of the bad guys, so it makes sense he has no friends. I hope I always have friends.

I think I should straighten my hair today; it looks like I just had sex. A lot of wild sex. And yet, I didn’t have any, so really it’s just kind of depressing to look in the mirror right now.

My plant is dying, I haven’t watered it in a couple weeks or so, but it’s lucky bamboo and it is supposed to be low maintenance, I think. It makes me think of the movie, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 days,” and the part where she screams, “You let our love fern die?!”

Thank God no one bought me this plant to symbolize our everlasting love.

Plus, I have this rose now. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a vase so it’s in a large Smart Water bottle and I

think I kind of like it so it’s going to stay there. I really hope it lives a while longer.

Being immature is fun. I still laugh at bathroom jokes; my nickname at Bucknell was “Doo Doo” because I was number 2. I still find it funny.

I have a boyfriend now. He’s kind of awesome. Or at least he is at this point.

So I was thinking yesterday about what I am going to do with myself after I graduate and I’m beginning to regret that I never learned to dance. I really wish I could dance like a pop culture icon, but instead I get this weird face and I squirm around a lot, am obsessed with moving my shoulders and I giggle. I giggle uncontrollably and yet the boys still want to dance with me. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s because they think I’m quite actually retarded and consequently an easy target.

I still wear my fluffy white bathrobe every single day. My grams gave it to me for Christmas and I’m beginning to think I should probably wash it. But not be-

fore I wash some socks. I’d like to have matching ones at some point in my life again. Because you know what they say about people who never have matching socks, they die an early, shameful death. And no one goes to their funeral. And my mother would be disappointed; it’s nearly as bad as going without clean underpants and then dying in a car crash.

I realize I never write about my little sister, and it’s really a terrible shame because she is so much cooler than me and deserves a great amount of attention.

Here’s a list of why she’s awesome. She’s funny, smart, sarcastic, beautiful, loving, strong headed, driven and a little fart head.

Last week I checked my bank account and found that I had only $15 left. I blame Starbucks, a beautiful new bra I purchased from Victoria’s Secret and my appetite.

Because I mean, obviously, it wasn’t my fault.

One last thing. Please don’t hate me for my rambling, but I thought you deserved to see how my mind really works. S

Photo Courtesy of dualshockers.com

Your eyes aren’t deceiving you. This is a picture of actor Neil Patrick Harris sitting atop a unicorn like a boss. Considering the experiment with freewriting that occured above, we thought it only fitting that something equally ADD (but not featuring Batman socks) be incorporated as its artistic companion. Don’t lie. You wish you had a unicorn now, too.

opinion

Page 14

February 22 to February 28, 2011

A look at Egypt can remind us how lucky we all are

Stephen Farrell sfarrell@uccs.edu By now the Egyptian riots are nothing new to anyone. And in fact now that the riots have served their purpose and their demands have been met, most likely we will see less and less of Egypt in headline news.

The Middle East is a mess, always has been, and likely always will be.

Why is this? Well to start, that particular region of the world is chock full of regimes which oppress their people; the people then rightfully get angry and they overthrow their

oppressive regime only to replace it with another one.

Peace and prosperity cannot exist where people do not feel that they are free.

Egypt is just one small part of a huge Middle Eastern problem. So what lesson can we take from this to benefit us in the long run?

Overall, I think the major thing we can learn from the Egyptian crisis is that capitalism is the only true path to prosperity. Any other form of market structure will ultimately lead to an unfair and unequal wealth distribution. Only through an open market system can people turn lucrative ideas into innovative products.

When a government suppresses these efforts, chaos erupts.

Disallowing these ideas naturally leads to a lack of economic prosperity because the same wealthy people who fail to contribute to innovation and progression continue to rake

in the majority of their country’s wealth. In America only the most productive, creative and hardest working of Americans have a chance at becoming wealthy. (There is inheritance but that’s a minority percentage.) This is why we have led the world in innovation and technology for as long as we have.

There is a natural standard of excellence in this country that we all have a responsibility to uphold with regard to wealth; that is, in exchange for vast amounts of personal wealth, you’d better be willing to produce something extraordinary that will help make the lives of other people easier. A country like Egypt (along with many others) can learn something from us in this department. However, on the flipside, we too can grasp the danger of imposing restrictions on those who have bright ideas just to ensure that society’s

one small lazy upper class will remain the richest of citizens. As history has repeatedly shown, nothing good ever comes out of this model.

Another major cause of the Egypt riots (which I began to mention above) were the stringent economic conditions implemented

by Hosni Mubarak. There was and still is a substantially large gap in wealth between the upper and lower socioeconomic classes. In Egypt, if you go to college and get a degree, it is basically pointless unless you have an “in” with someone in the wealthy class. Your chances for social progression under Mubarak’s regime were very slim with an unemployment percentage of about 9.7 percent, according to CIA World Fact Book. Even with our economy still in the rocky condition that it is, it can at least be argued that you stand a chance to improve your life if you receive an

DEAR DEVI US DU

Comic by Arno education, work hard and network accordingly. Economic activities were also highly regulated by the government. Ultimately, this further deterred individuals from starting businesses.

Bottom line, we are lucky to live in and enjoy the liberties that we do in this country. I think the Egyptian government

overhaul can serve as a reminder to our politicians and economic leaders that too much government control has its consequences.

As we have just seen with Egypt, when government stays out of the economic affairs of its people, everyone is better off, including the government.

It’s important we always remember that. S

Dear Devious Duo, Motor boating, wtf?

Dear Lip Buzzer,

Dear Nautical Novice,

According to Urban Dictionary, one definition of motor boating is, “When a dog or cat sits and drags its rear end with its front legs to either scrape off feces or relieve their impacted anal glands.” I assume, or at least, I hope it’s fair to assume that this is not the type of motor boating you are referring to.

If it is, I advise seeking professional help. If that doesn’t work, the least you can do is never mention this to another person for the rest of your life.

Rather than lecture you, I’ve decided to compile a list of reasons why motor boating some poor girl’s boobs off should be avoided.

1. It is retarded.

2. Large boobs are suffocation devices.

3. Small boobs are boring and you’re better off watching Star Wars or reading Lord of the Rings.

4. What if they smell?!

5. Your one step away from motor boating her butt cheeks.

6. They could be crusty or covered in hair.

7. If that is the case, you have bigger problems on your hands.

8. There’s a good possibility you’ll suddenly feel like her thirsty two-year-old son.

9. It’s punishable by fork stabbing and groin kicking.

10. She’ll probably never speak to you again, and if she does it’ll only be to tell you that you’re retarded.

11. It will make Pedobear proud. And every time Pedobear is made proud, God kills a kitten.

There are, however, some scenarios when motor boating might be a good idea.

If you want her to detest you for the rest of your existence.

Honestly, though, that’s the only positive outcome I can think of. So unless she giggles and clearly enjoys the titillating sensation of having her chest buzzed fiercely from side to side by your lips, put your face elsewhere – like between her legs.

Motor boating is a fun and exhilarating way to spend hot summer weekends.

Other kinds of boating can be useful, but nothing can compare to motor boating. If you want a good workout, hop in a kayak, but if you want to be awesome, a motor boat is where it’s at.

Here are the reasons that motor boating is simply the greatest thing on earth:

- Jessica Lynch

1. Nobody likes to row a boat. That’s work. Who would want to do that?

2. You can wear your nautical-themed pashmina afghan on a motor boat.

3. T-Pain wouldn’t be caught dead on a row boat.

4. You can go really, really fast in a motor boat.

5. Drinking and boating is way more fun than drinking and driving.

6. There is nothing better than sitting on a boat on a hot day with a cold beer in your hands and a cold mist washing over your face.

7. You can bust five knots with the wind whipping in your coat.

8. You can take a motor boat way out into the ocean and look at dolphins and whales and whatnot.

9. Flipping burgers in your flippy-floppys is way better than working at Kinko’s, straight flipping copies.

10. Girls like things that go fast. While it’s hot to watch a muscular guy row a boat, the truth is that you’re kind of flabby, so you’d better stick to captaining a motor boat.

11. You can sing, “I’m on a Boat.”

I’m not sure why so were so confused about the wonderful activity of motor boating, but I hope I’ve helped you to realize that it is totally awesome and tons of fun. Have fun in your future motor boating excursions.

-Cherise Fantus

Have a question about relationships, love or...sex? Email your query to the Devious Duo at scribeonsex@gmail.com.

the

Scribble

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.”

-Student Press Law Center

Lindsay Lohan to Visit UCCS; Bookstore expresses concern Stephen Farrell sfarrell@uccs.edu Lindsay Lohan has family in Colorado Springs?

Who knew! Local news agencies are currently consumed by the Lohan mania and speculations have been made. Where she will spend her brief vacation is still unknown.

But not from a lack of trying.

According to a source very close to the Lohan family, “It’ll be good for her to get away from the usual Los Angeles scene for a while, things have been difficult since the latest charges filed against her for allegedly shoplifting jewelry, and so a few days in Colorado will

do her good.” And if Lohan’s upcoming visit isn’t a surprise in itself, this one will be: She also plans on touring UCCS while she’s here..

In response to this latest revelation, university officials are taking precautionary measures concerning how best to handle her visit given her already sketchy reputation. In particular, university merchandise is of one concern. According to one university official who wished to remain anonymous, “We currently have measures in place for the specific time of her visit; two more surveillance cameras will be added to the bookstore and we’ll be fully staffed that day. We

The news in brief Student goes to class and learns

A student of communication attended class last week and actually learned something. Sophomore Lauren Driden went to all of her classes. Not only did she turn off her phone and leave her computer at home, she actually brought her books, paid attention and took notes. “I never realized that the instructors actually had anything to say,” she said, “I barely even noticed they were there before.”

Her friends got terribly worried when they didn’t hear from her for over an hour, but after they found her in class, they grew even more concerned. Despite her friends’ concerns, Driden plans to continue attending class with her full attention. S

Boy gets trapped in pants

A frantic 911 call brought emergency workers to the dorm room of freshman Brendan Hipster late Friday night. The 18-year-old engineering student had become trapped – in his pants. “I was so scared! He could barely breath and he was just clawing at them and screaming,” said his roommate, Mark Hornberg, who made the 911 call. The student’s skinny jeans had apparently shrunken after he’d been out in the rain that day. When he tried to remove them before bed, he found himself hopelessly trapped.

Rescuers were able to free the boy from his pants, and he is resting comfortably. S

Sexual tension disrupts class Two students in a chemistry class are making their fellow students very uncomfortable. Freshman Elizabeth Petty and sophomore John Viro have been flirting heavily all semester. Their mutual attraction is made painfully obvious to anyone who has had the misfortune of seeing them interact. During class, they scarcely pay attention while they pass each other notes and whisper back and forth. “They’re always giggling and whispering. It’s disgusting,” said classmate Jennifer Desert. The sexual tension is enough to distract even Professor Burt Rabor.

“I’m not here to teach that kind of chemistry,” he said. S

Babies are stupid

A study performed by a group of students at Beth-El has shown that babies are not smart. The students took a survey of 100 babies between the ages of three to six months.

According to their findings, a remarkable zero percent of the babies were able to perform any of the tasks set forth to them by the researchers. “The tasks were fairly simple.

Anyone with any sort of intelligence should have been able to perform them,” said researcher Sarah Twitty. The babies were asked to read passages from popular books, solve simple math problems and answer trivia questions.

“Not only were the babies unable to perform the tasks, they couldn’t even use language properly. They just babbled all their replies in unintelligible jibberish,” remarked Twitty. S

understand that Lindsay has a reputation for ‘sticky fingers’ wherever any merchandise is sold. So we will do our best to ensure that none of our inventory ‘magically’ goes missing.”

On another note, Clyde’s is not expecting much of an increase in alcohol sales. According to one server, “Seriously, she’s coming from west coast sea-level. She’s going to literally knock herself out from alcohol poisoning, it’ll be hilarious, I’ve already made sure I’m on shift that night.”

Lohan is currently facing felony charges of grand theft for allegedly walking out of an upscale boutique wearing a $2,500 necklace. S

Photo courtesy of celebritysmackblog.com

This, in case you hadn’t guessed, is a real picture of Lindsey Lohan. It is the only thing on this page that is real, if you don’t count the headline of the last brief down there.

TOP TEN

ways to skin a cat

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Head to tail.

Tail to head.

With your teeth.

With a lathe.

With help from your mom.

With a hacksaw.

With a chainsaw.

In a box.

With a fox.

With that pocket knife you bought at the gas station after leaving the mental institution, you psycho.

-Scribe Staff

Chancellor’s Facebook page gets fraped Cherise Fantus cfantus@uccs.edu Facebook friends of Chancellor Pat ShockerZanzabar were surprised to see a very uncharacteristic and disturbing status update on Monday. The status read, “I have a diarrhea tummy-ache.”

It took Zanzabar several hours to realize what people thought she’d said.

She posted an apology status update, and got down to business trying to figure out who had punked her.

She quickly figured out that it had been her secretary, Linda Prankster.

“We were in her office when she excused herself to go to the ladies’ room,” said Prankster, “I noticed that she had left Facebook open, so I just did it!”

The thread was brimming with comments from Zanzabar’s friends. Several of them read “TMI” or “Thanks for sharing.”

Some more concerned pals offered the esteemed chancellor some advice on how to remedy the illness.

“I saw all the comments rolling in and laughed my butt off all day long,” said Prankster.

Students were found

gathered around computers in the library throughout the day, laughing at and commenting on the silly status.

Certain contacts of the chancellor did not find the prank very humorous, though. “I was appalled that she could be so vulgar and immature,” said Zanzabar’s long-time pal, Marie Prudish.

While her friend doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor, Zanzabar was a good sport about it. “I was so embarrassed at first,” she said, “but then I just had to laugh. It was the most comments I’ve ever received on a Facebook post, after all. You know what they say; there’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

Some students left bottles of Pepto-Bismol and Immodium AD outside of her office. Though it wasn’t a real tummyache, the chancellor was touched by the thoughtfulness of the students.

Since the incident, Zanzbar is very careful to both log off of Facebook and lock her computer whenever she steps away from her desk. She is patiently awaiting the opportunity to exact her revenge on the zany Prankster. S