Sept. 28, 2010

the

Scribe

September 28 to October 4, 2010 [Volume 35; Issue 5]

Hole in (Division) one Page 11

Inside this issue...

Students march in support of the men’s and women’s soccer teams (page 12)

featured

Clyde’s page 8

Being iced pushes students to be creative about drinking (page 9)

editorial

Page 2

A shameless letter of appreciation

Editor-in-Chief Avalon Manly When I was very young, I was determined not to learn to read, because my parents read to me nightly, and I had no reason to ever learn to do it myself.

My dad read me books by Dr. Seuss, from “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” to “And to Think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street.”

I recall the Lorax and Sam I Am and Yertle the Turtle like childhood friends, and the words to “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” are permanently ingrained in my brain. (My dad still sings it each holiday season, and I can’t help but chime in.)

Mom and I journeyed through Narnia together, and each time I revisit it now, I remember with great fondness those nights curled up with her, reading about Aslan and Reepicheep and the Dawn Treader.

Later, Dad introduced me to Harry Potter, and my folks and I read each of the seven together; though when I hit college, it took us months to plow through the hundreds of pages, because finding time to visit Hogwarts together became more difficult.

Despite my previous unwillingness and thanks to my parents’ heartfelt love of literature, I did learn to read, and I began to do so voraciously from a very young age.

The first chapter book I ever read by myself was “The CowTail Switch: And Other West African Stories,”

by Harold Courlander and George Herzog. I remember the feeling of triumph that surged through me when I turned the last page and realized I had just read a book all by myself; I

think it might be like nothing I’ve ever felt since.

My parents never restricted my reading.

They never once, in all our lives, told me that I wasn’t allowed to read something. There were times, such as my brief prepubescent foray into the works of Kurt Vonnegut, when they suggested that I wait a few years in order to better grasp the material; but even then, I was not banned from reading those texts. I just didn’t understand “Cat’s Cradle” for a couple of years after I finished it.

No…maybe I still don’t understand “Cat’s Cradle.”

I can only remember one instance of my parents placing an age prerequisite on a book, and that was none other than my father’s favorite, “A Confederacy of Dunces,” by John Kennedy Toole. Mom, appalled at the content, laid down one of her rare decrees: that I was not permitted to read “A Confederacy of Dunces” until I turned 16.

Shortly after that birthday passed, I picked up that book, and set it down again not 50 pages later. I’d never encountered a book like it, that addressed such content blatantly, and I hadn’t been prepared.

I still haven’t read that book, because I remember my teenage shock; but one of these days I’ll get around to it, and be able to enjoy yet another literary frontier with my father.

My parents did right by me, and I’ll never be able to thank them enough for that. They encouraged me to read, to read everything, to enjoy the art of story and to embrace literature and life. Through reading, I learned about the good and evil of the world, who I was, what it means to be human and about some parts of the world so dark that I never would have guessed at them otherwise.

And that’s what literature is supposed to do. It’s a window, a gateway, a tattoo, a lesson and a web that connects each of us to the

others. The stories we are taught as children help us to remember our roots, guide our lives and decide how we will live each day.

That’s why book banning has never made sense to me. I understand that to censure is a violation of our First Amendment rights, and that to regulate the flow of information on a basis of arbitrarily-determined restrictions is an abhorrent crime against progress and memory, but mostly, the reason I cringe at censorship is the abridgement and PC revision of story.

My grandfather and I once had an argument about the “His Dark Materials” trilogy by Philip Pullman, the first book of which, “The Golden Compass,” was made into a movie a couple of years ago. He suggested that the books, as a sort of secular response to C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia, be disallowed from Christian households and the eyes of younger readers in general. I replied that I had really enjoyed those books as a young teen, and other kids shouldn’t be denied the power and beauty of those stories just because they departed from their own personally held ideologies.

Grandaddy had some really good points, and I’m still not sure which of us is right. All I know is that I view the institutional regulation of available literature with a slanted eye and a skeptical heart, because stories are a large part of what made me who I am today.

It is up to families to determine the stories that enter the minds of their children, not schools or communities or states at large. I celebrate Banned Book Week proudly, because my home was an open forum of discussion and learning and growth and the appreciation of literature of all types, and because there can never be enough stories.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for making me who I am today, and for teaching me to read.

Happy Banned Books Week. S

September 28 to October 4

the scribe The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs

Editor-in-Chief.............................Avalon Manly Managing Editor.............................Jessica Lynch Business Manager.....................Robert Rodriguez Advertising/Sales Manager..............Luis Hidalgo News Editor..............................Catherine Jensen Culture Editor..............................Brock Kilgore Athletics Editor...........................Matt Crandall Opinion/Scribble Editor...................Jasen Cooper Photograhy Editor......................Ariel Lattimore Copy Editor..................................Cherise Fantus Web Designer................................Dorian Rogers Layout Designers...............................J.D. Osorio .........................................................Shreya Raj Reporters.........................................Rob Versaw ......................................................Alex Cramer Photographers.........................Carrie Woodruff ................................................Chelsea Bartlett ..................................................Michelle Wood Junior Reporters..............................J.P. Niehaus ...................................................Greg Williams .................................................Elliot Reynolds .....................................................Ivory Walker ......................................................Amanda Putz .....................................................Kristin Garst Contributors...............................Steven Farrell ....................................................Andrew Roake Cartoonist.................................................Arno Distributor................................Donald Trujillo Advisor..........................................Laura Eurich -----------Cover photo by Michelle Wood-----------The Scribe UC 106 (719) 255-3658 (719) 255-3469 (719) 255-3600 www.uccsscribe.com scribe.eic@gmail.com

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student life

September 28 to October 4

all aboard

failboat

the

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

Page 3

Love and marriage...three times over. It’s enough to make Al Bundy implode.

“I just fell in love. Then I fell in love again, and I fell in love again,” Kody Brown explained in the opening episode of “Sister Wives,” TLC’s latest reality series about an excessively large family. This one is set in Utah (surprise!). And with a polygamist twist, a man with three wives, claiming to have fallen in love three times is sure to lift more than just a viewer’s right eyebrow. “I never wanted to just be married to a man,” says Christine, who is pregnant with Kody’s 13th child. She’s glad to be his third wife and enjoys having sister wives. The show asks viewers to “rethink marriage,” and reminds us to steer clear of men looking to date us and our little sisters.

Bear eating your dog? Just throw some vegetables at it.

Friday, Oct. 1, at 2 p.m., Mark Twain himself will host a discussion of invention and innovation in the Kraemer Family Library.

Twain (played by Alan Kitty) will be here in solidarity with the play about his contemporary, Nikola Tesla, which appears on the Theatreworks stage for the last time this weekend.

On Wednesday Sept. 15, a Montana woman bypassed her shotgun for a homegrown vegetable when a 200-pound black bear attacked her dog just after midnight on the back porch of her home in Frenchtown. The woman, whose name has not been disclosed, screamed to distract the bear from her 12-year-old collie. The bear charged, making a swipe at her leg. As she clamored back inside her house, she grabbed a 12-inch zucchini sitting on her kitchen counter and hurled it at the bear. With precision only acquired from life in the country, the woman nailed the bear on top of the head, causing it to run from the premises, explained the Associated Press.

FTW

“Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny” - Jack Handey

Fill out the sudoku puzzle below so that each row and column contain the numbers 1 through 9 with none repeated. Return it and the adjacent crossword to the Scribe office when finished; if you’re the first one done (and they’re done right), you’ll be enPuzzle 1 (Very hard, difficulty ratingfor 0.80)two free tickets to the Haunted Mines. tered into a drawing

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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Mon Sep 27 02:58:49 2010 GMT. Enjoy!

ACROSS 2 Today my rabbit was hit by a car and so I failed the chem quiz and my heart hurts.

4 You hit this button when you are not so jazzed about something. At all.

6 Would you like to cancel this?

7 This is what you do to your significant other once you've broken up and they've begun to stalk you.

9 Because you have nothing better to do than plant virtual vegetables and watch them die.

10 It’s annoying when people do this in real life and online, as this one doesn’t hurt.

12 “We had one class together freshman year, let’s be friends” 13 This let’s the entire world know how much your life sucks and what color your toothbrush is 14 __ you’re it and now everyone knows about what you did in the hot tub that one time.

15 I have more of these from Facebook than I do from anyone else.

17 The pop-up box of doom. It will keep you online for hours.

DOWN 1 A place to make friends without having to get to know or keep them.

3 The button you hit when you are really jazzed about something.

5 You have 324.5 of these.

8 The area where your bf or gf posts how much they love you and your mom reminds you to do your laundry 10 This changes every time you get a new outfit 11 You write one of these when you have something you can't say on someone's

wall without shaming them.

16 Laughing Out Loud has never been so simple

news September 28 to October 4

Page 4

In Memoriam: Jerrod Elsemore

Jerrod Elsemore, 19, died last week on Sept. 15.

Elsemore was reported missing by family members late the night of the 15th; his car was discovered the next day, abandoned on Lower Gold Camp Road.

Searchers from the Colorado Springs Police and Fire Departments and El Paso County Search and Rescue found Elsemore’s body in the woods just south of the place where his vehicle was left.

Elsemore was a freshman at UCCS and a student of the Chemistry program. Funerary services were held last week, and his family asks that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to El Paso County Search and Rescue.

University counseling services are available for students, staff and faculty struck by Elsemore’s passing.

The Counseling Center can be reached at 255-3265.

Let’s get together...online Formal to be held indoors Corey Mensing

cmensing@uccs.edu Group projects are difficult for a number of reasons. For the majority of students, finding a time and a place to meet is nearly impossible.

Fortunately, there is a reprieve for those struggling to shoehorn time in their busy schedules: the internet.

There is a lot of technology for students to utilize on the internet to communicate with their groups: Adobe Connect, Blackboard, blogs, email, Facebook, Google Docs, instant messaging, Skype and wikis.

Several professors are encouraging the use of technology for group work outside of the classroom. Janice Thorpe, an instructor in the communication department, encourages her students to use the resources available to them to overcome physical limitations. In one of her courses, COMM 3240, Business and Professional Communication, she utilizes Adobe Connect online conferencing software for class meet-

ings. Her students also use the Adobe Connect file sharing utility to create documents together in smaller groups, all in a virtual environment, she said.

Dr. Winograd is also encouraging the use of technology in her courses. This year, she is using Blackboard.

She hopes to utilize it in a way that helps student groups learn how to collaborate virtually, quite literally becoming “virtual teams.” With Blackboard she is able to set up a group feature, allowing members in a project team to communicate and share documents. “As a former user of eCompanion for my courses, I find Blackboard as an improvement, even though I haven’t yet explored how to leverage all its capacity or features,” she said.

Thorpe finds that most students like Blackboard, most notably the ability to view their grades in “real-time” online. “It’s been time consuming to create a [Blackboard] for each of my courses, but I think it will save me time in the long run

because it forces me to be more organized and helps to keep everything in a central location.”

Skype can also be used to do more than talk to your grandmother across the country or your friends back in your hometown.

Dr. Winograd has utilized Skype to talk to graduate students. She and the students conducted weekly meetings via Skype, and used it to simultaneously edit documents. Thorpe also hopes to use Skype to talk with students who are unable to come in during her office hours and will be able to utilize it for guest speakers.

While there is a definite need for face time for student projects, there is no denying the benefits of online interactivity.

Thorpe says one of the foundations for her new course COMM 3400 (Digital Communication Technologies), is “like it or not, this is the world we live in, so we need to be exposed to these tools and have a better understanding of their power and limitations.” Technology will continue to be an integral aspect of group communication. S

University Center Ballroom takes new name Kristin Garst kgarst@uccs.edu On Sept. 14, the University Center Ballroom was renamed Berger Hall in honor of James C. Berger.

Berger, a 1956 CU-Boulder graduate, put great time and effort into this recent project. Recently remodeled, Berger Hall will be used for conferences and other meetings.

Chancellor ShockleyZalabak explained, “It is fitting that this space, which is so critical to the mission of our campus, be named in recognition of Jim Berger.”

Since Berger’s graduation, he has been involved with the UCCS campus and the student community at large. The vice president of the CU foundation,

Brian Winkelbauer, said, “Jim’s involvement with the university - through his vision, counsel and personal generosity over the span of many years - helped form the solid foundation that has enhanced the ability of this campus to progress at an impressive pace.” Without Berger’s help, the campus would not have been able to succeed as much as it has in previous years.

With the support of the UCCS faculty and Berger’s pertinent involvement, the gym has been appropriately named.

Winkelbauer stated, “Jim is tremendous, he is all about character, integrity and honesty; he is always up front with people and

that’s what makes him such a good businessman.

He also loves the University of Colorado.” On top of his numerous contributions to UCCS, he has also worked on several academic boards for UCCS administration. He served on the CU Real Estate Foundation Board from October 2002 to September 2009, and is now a part of an advisory board at UCCS known as the Chancellor’s Round Table.

Winkelbauer added, “He is a wonderful advocate and offers amazing advice for the University”.

Berger’s contributions also include plans for a scholarship fund for lowincome, high-potential students. S

Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu Formal and Casino Night will be held on Oct. 2 from 8:30 p.m. to 2 a.m. Traditionally held in the upper plaza, this year’s night will take place in Berger Hall (formerly known as the Ballroom, known before that as the Old Gym and originally known as the Lion’s Den). Student and alumni tickets can be purchased for $10 and nonstudents for $20 at the UC front desk or at the door.

OSA Advertising and Marketing Coordinator Nic Hostetter said that the location change has OSA members expecting more people than usual because they won’t have to worry as much about the weather.

“In previous years it has been absolutely freezing

so we are looking forward to it being inside. We also have an actual ballroom area we can use now,” he said.

Last year between 350 and 400 people attended, according to Hostetter. He adds that the majority of students who attend are upperclassmen and commuter students. In an attempt to get more freshmen involved, OSA made sure to place more advertising in campus housing and build “stronger connections with the RAs,” he said.

Casino Night will occur in conjunction with the formal in a different area of the UC. Games will include poker, roulette, Texas Hold ‘em, blackjack and craps. Deuces Wild, a casino company in town, will be bringing several professional dealers; the

rest will be student volunteers. The night will include free food and drinks and lots of prizes, said Hostetter.

Student Nancy Hoist, who has attended formal twice during her time at UCCS, said, “I’ve always enjoyed going. I think it’s one of the better events OSA puts on.” She is excited that it will be inside and looking forward to taking her girlfriend. “I think it’s an opportunity for people who didn’t get to attend their high school prom to go to a nice dance.

It’s nice because this is less formal and goes until two in the morning.”

The event requires a lot of volunteers said Hostetter.

Student clubs or individuals who wish to help should contact Michelle Wood or Rob Burton in OSA. S

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September 28 to October 4

news

Page 5

Faculty Spotlight: Dr. John Brock Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu Dr. John Brock knows supply and demand. In the recent spiraling economy, it has come to his attention that there is a huge demand for knowledge but little supply. Dr. Brock, an international educator in economics, is doing something about it.

Brock holds a doctorate in economics from Cornell University and has published articles and a handbook on using experimental economics in the classroom.

In addition to teaching economics at the United States Air Force Academy and then UCCS, he is the Director of the Center for Economic Education the “national nonprofit that assists kindergarten through 12th grade teachers with

understanding economics,” he said.

Brock’s father was a Naval Aviator and he said that he too wanted to be a pilot, until he found economics.

“When I was a little boy I wanted to be an Air Force Pilot… I was offered to do flight training but I didn’t enjoy it, and my major was economics.”

His attitude toward his students and his subject can be found in the statement on each of his syllabi: “Economics is not a body of knowledge but a way of thinking.”

He spoke adamantly about the importance of economics and wants students to remember that the classes he and the other professors have created “…don’t just bore students with statistics and theory.

Often times we will

set up fake markets for students to trade and practice with; they get excited running around and earning fake money.” The lessons learned in these classes will be very practical in the real world for most majors, he said.

In addition to having a passion for econ., Dr. Brock has a love for travel and family. His wife was a high school teacher for 22 years; he has a son who is a baseball coach most recently at Georgetown University and a daughter who is a family Medicine Doctor in Seattle.

Brock is well travelled and has been to Africa, Egypt, Jordan, Indonesia, Russia, the Czech Republic and many other places in order to teach teachers how to help their students learn economics. S

Dr. John Brock, international economic educator.

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

Facebook ban hits Pennsylvania Ryan Adams radams3@uccs.edu Last week, Pennsylvania’s Harrisburg University of Science and Technology banned social networking sites on its campus. Provost Eric Darr authorized the week-long ban of Facebook, Twitter and online messaging as part of an “academic exercise” to see how students would cope without the constant updates, statuses and immediate electronic communication. Darr decided to initiate the ban after watching his 16-year-old daughter juggle multiple social networking sites on a daily basis.

Darr explained in an NPR transcript, “If someone feels the need to borrow their friend’s phone to go check Facebook, it’ll be interesting to ask the question at the end of the week: Why did you

feel the need to do that?

What compelled you to do that? We’re not trying to stop all access to these sites. We’re trying to at least put in a hurdle and make it enough for people to think about it.”

Many students found the ban a relief, as Harrisburg’s Ashley Harris explained, “I’m going to commit, and I’m going to see what it’s like for a week if I talk to people face to face more - if I connect more. I might get some homework done.”

As the week progressed, Harris felt liberated by the blackout, able to focus more on her class work and less on her Facebook “friends.”

Social media can be an addiction that disrupts and takes the place of daily face to face communications. As UCCS Professor Maja Krakowiak explained, “They [students] may start to rely on social media to

fulfill certain needs, such as stress relief. Some students may feel a sense of withdrawal or loss from not being able to check their Facebook pages; they may wonder what they are missing. On the other hand, perhaps banning social media for a week will make some students realize just how much time they spend keeping up with social media sites.”

Technology, and social networking in particular, is not without its benefits. For instance, when students struggle to coordinate time to meet for a group project, the internet makes it possible to “meet.” While this is one benefit of the internet, social networking sites are only as useful as they are time consuming. Finding a healthy balance and a safe reliance on these sites is important to the student’s functionality in school. S

WORK@SCRIBE Now hiring writers and photographers!

Email scribe.eic@gmail.com or call (719) 255-3658 for details.

news

Page 6

September 28 to October 4

Students speak out against Amendments Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu Students, administrators and the Chancellor gathered in the free speech zone by the mountain lion on Friday, Sept. 24 to protest Amendments 60, 61 and 101, scheduled to appear on the ballot this November.

Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalaback opened the event, “I, along with other administrators here, are on leave so that we might address our personal opinions of these issues.”

Shokley-Zalaback took a leave of absence so that at the rally she would not be speaking as a public figure but as a concerned citizen and member of the higher education community.

“It is incumbent to educate ourselves and those we come in contact with about these issues,” she continued. “This upcoming election is about the future of Colorado.”

Proposition 101 proposes amending the Colorado statutes to: reduce the state income tax rate from 4.63 percent to 4.5 percent in 2011, and to 3.5 percent gradually over time; reduce or eliminate taxes and fees on vehicle purchases, registrations, leases and rentals over the next four years; eliminate all state and local taxes and fees on telecommunication services, except 911 fees; and require voter approval to create or increase fees on vehicles and telecommunication services.

Amendment 60 proposes amending the Colorado Constitution to: repeal the current voter-approved authority of local governments to keep property taxes above their constitutional limits; establish expiration dates for future voter-approved property tax increases; require publicly owned enterprises to pay property taxes and reduce local property tax rates to offset the new revenue; and provide new voting rights to certain property owners in Colorado and permit citizens to petition all local governments to reduce property taxes.

Amendment 61 proposes amending the Colorado Constitution to: prohibit

all new state government borrowing after 2010; prohibit new local government borrowing after 2010, unless approved by voters; limit the amount and length of time of local government borrowing; and require that tax rates be reduced after borrowing is fully repaid, according to ballotpedia.com.

Those in opposition to these measures said the cut in taxes would only be detrimental to higher education and the community at large. The University of Colorado Board of Regents passed a resolution on July 16 to oppose Amendments 60 and 61 and Proposition 101. Cities that have spoken out or passed resolutions against the proposed measures include Monte Vista, Frisco, Ouray County, Colorado Springs and Grand Junction among others, according to ballotperdia.com.

According to opponents, Amendment 60 will result in a loss in more than one billion dollars in funding for schools, and school districts will be required to cut property taxes by 50 percent, leading to school closures and fewer teachers.

Amendment 61 opponents argue that it would eliminate Colorado’s ability to build or expand its schools, roads, hospitals, college buildings, light rail, water and sewer systems and prisons through the elimination of longterm bonds.

Proposition 101 eliminates funding for road and bridge construction across the state. This will mean more potholes and crumbling bridges, they said.

The reduction in income tax would also “eliminate a quarter of the state’s revenue from income tax when state budget has already been severely impacted by the recession.

Such a drastic reduction would mean even more cuts in critical state services,” according to Don’t Hurt Colorado, an opposition website.

Lynne Telford, with Pikes Peak United Way, expressed concern for the effect Amendment 60 could have on the library system.

Telford spoke of the importance of public libraries, “Twenty-six percent of local third graders are not reading at the appropriate level,” she told the

crowd. “This is not okay with me. Libraries provide services for education. If this passes we will see a severe decrease in the budget for Pikes Peak Library District staff.”

Telford said the Pikes Peak Library District system has developed two budget plans for the outcome of the election but cautioned those in the crowd that the approval of the Amendment would lead to “the loss of libraries; some branches may have to let go of six or seven; 150 staff positions will be lost, and programs will be discontinued.”

Colorado Chamber of Commerce member, Donna Nelson, also addressed the crowd. “I, like you, would like to have a little extra money in my pocket. Lower[ing] taxes sounds good. But when we dig deeper, we realize this isn’t the pretty package we were presented with.”

Drew Anderson and Kristina Achey were the final speakers. Anderson is one of the 900 transfer students welcomed to UCCS this fall. He shared with the crowd how, after dropping out of high school at 15, coming back to school later was one of the best things he could have done. “Education is the process of becoming an active member of society. If access to education becomes less accessible for you and me and our children, our future is going to be grim.”

Anderson called this proposal passing, “the Armageddon of higher education” and encouraged those present to spread the word.

Student Body President Kristina Achey said, “The UCCS Student Government Association formally opposes these destructive Amendments on the November ballot. These measures will only make a bad situation worse for students, the future work force of this state.” Achey expressed fear for her four-year-old daughter, an increase in tuition and the elimination of programs.

Shockley-Zalaback concluded the rally with a call to action, “I feel all of us here believe in a better future for Colorado. We can only do that if we come together and help put an end to these measures.” S

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

Kindergartener Anna Starkey cuts the ribbon on the older preschool’s new greenhouse at the Family Development Center.

Preschool debuts new greenhouse Avalon Manly amanly@uccs.edu Late last week, the older preschool class of the Family Development Center hosted the ribbon-cutting ceremony of their new greenhouse.

“It’s a lifelong dream of mine,” said Carol Quillin, one of two teachers of the older preschool class.

Quillin has been gardening with her classes for more than five years. The garden spans the length of the playground outside the classroom, and hosts such variety as carrots, rosemary, peppers, pumpkins, strawberries, peas, potatoes, salad fixings and native flowers.

Quillin uses the space to teach children not only how to care for plants, but also about the science of growing things. The class maintains its own compost pile and, combined with donated grounds from nearby coffee shops, prepare their own fertilizer. They also prepare their harvests using

a solar oven and eat together the fruits – or vegetables – of their labor.

The greenhouse is adjacent to the existing garden, and will be used to further the children’s experiences with nature. Quillin plans to plant a thermometer both inside and out, to help the kids learn about the retention of heat and moisture inside the greenhouse as well as the solar energy involved in such growth.

Nick Starkey, a contractor whose daughter was in Quillin’s class last year, was remodeling a local house and offered unneeded windows to Quillin so she might begin building her dream greenhouse.

University code dictated that those particular materials couldn’t be used, explained Quillin, but Starkey posted the panes on eBay and donated the proceeds of their sales to Quillin and her class. That money, pooled with a grant from the Manitou Springs Garden Club, equated to about $450 and was enough to build the

greenhouse.

The ribbon-cutting was accompanied by the older preschool class singing – and signing – a song about gardening, and the reading aloud of a short story about the greenhouse’s construction the kids had created themselves.

Anna Starkey, Starkey’s kindergarten-aged daughter, cut the ribbon, after presenting Quillin with a greenhouse-warming gift: a garden gnome, dubbed on the scene as Starkey.

“It’s great to watch the kids go pick peas in June, when they first come out,” said Quillin’s husband, Patrick, laughing. Patrick regularly helps tend the garden and is just as pleased as his wife to be providing the kids with a place to learn to grow.

Each spring, the children themselves get to choose what they will grow.

“We’re going to start with spinach and cold-weather plants,” said Quillin, explaining the greenhouse’s inaugural season. S

riverrun, the UCCS student and arts journal, is now accepting the following original student work:

-Poetry -Fiction

-Non-Fiction -Drama -Visual Art

-Essays -Photography

Nothing to submit? Join a commission committee to decide what gets in.

Email riverrun@uccs.edu for submission guidelines and committee information

DEADLINE: October 29th, 2010 The student-run publication, riverrun, is devoted to constructing a creative community. Begun in 1971 by Dr. C. Kenneth Pellow, it has long since been an avenue through which artists and writers have been able to express their voices.

September 28 to October 4

culture

Page 7

BJ’s Brewhouse: Too big with too many options Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu I don’t like to write bad restaurant reviews. I would rather send patrons somewhere else than vilify a particular restaurant on a bad day, and poorly run places tend to fizzle on their own. Because BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse just opened in the new University Village close to campus I felt obliged to review it, even though I was not that impressed.

The problem with BJ’s is that it is just too big. It is a combination of every food marketing concept in the last twenty years, thrown into a Wall-Mart sized shell and trimmed out in bad Home Depot.

It’s a brew pub (although they don’t actually make any beer in those faux tanks in the wall) mixed with an upscale pizza joint, PF Chang’s, Chile’s, Applebee’s, The Cracker Barrel, Outback Steakhouse, Noodles and Texas Roadhouse. The only thing they lack is a dollar menu and a drivethrough Starbuck’s on the side.

Copying trends is not creative. Food and drink

are the literal lifeblood of our existence so any morsel or beverage qualifies, but making morsels into meals and water into wine are the creative forces that keep dining interesting, and restaurants open.

The underlying problem is that this much food means too many cooks in the kitchen with too many ingredients in too many individual containers that sit around for way too long.

They have sliders, lettuce wraps, southwestern egg rolls, calzones, ten house specialty pizzas, sixteen sandwich selections, nine signature salads, five kinds of soup, six burgers, eight pasta favorites, five types of stuffed baked potatoes, sixteen entrees, nine dessert selections and a gluten-free menu. It’s like they raided God’s pantry.

My visit was as unexpectedly uncomfortable as going through the interrogation-room-like, one-sided-glass-covered revolving front door. I asked to sit at the bar, pulled out my laptop, and tried to make smile contact. Ten minutes ended in an irritated wave to an obviously doing noth-

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

Despite the large amounts of money you have to throw down at BJ’s, you do NOT get a happy ending. ing dudebro behind the bar. He got me a beer, but promptly disappeared to the service end of the bar to resume doing nothing.

The only upside of the experience was the polite and prompt young lady who eventually got me the tome of a menu and took my order. A sign advertised happy hour in the bar area with $1-off pints

and half-off mini pizzas, so choosing amongst the endless list of overpriced items wasn’t difficult.

Not surprisingly, BJ’s has a version of nearly every type of microbrew.

I chose their signature brew, the Jeremiah Red Irish-Style Strong Ale. It wasn’t particularly Irish or strong, so I tried the Berry Cider; but it was

like the Bartles and James version of a Shirley Temple.

The mini pizza on a crispy crust with Roma tomatoes, wafer-thin strips of fresh basil and a pinch of sausage was OK, but only worth $4.50 at half price on happy hour. My tab for a beer, cider and mini pizza with tip was over $20, which is too

much for a happy hour.

Potential UCCS student restaurant workers might be tempted to cash in on the dollars filtering through this potential employer, but the corporate restaurant means dealing with managers who use terms like profit and selling potential instead of good customer service; so be careful. S

The student guide to bowling The past called: They want Kristin Garst their clothes back kgarst@uccs.edu For the frugal college student, chucking a large heavy ball down a narrow alley is comparable to our childhood days of playing in sand boxes and making mud pies.

Consequently, many students have discovered the simple delights of a competitive bowling game.

Brunswick Zone Bowling Thursday night is college night and with a valid student ID; college students bowl for $1 per game, and $1 for shoes from 9 p.m. to 12 a.m.

Wednesday nights are also great nights to go bowling at the Brunswick Zone Bowling alley. The rate is still $1 per game, however the shoes are $2.99.

Peak Bowl They have the best specials in Colorado Springs. Peak Bowl is 75 cents per game Monday

through Thursday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Thursday and Sunday after 9 p.m. are dollar bowl nights.

That means $1 for shoes and $1 per game. Friday is all-you-can bowl day.

The price is $12 and includes shoes as well as unlimited games of bowling.

Harmony Bowl Every night has a different special. The best two specials are Tuesday 2-fer nights and Wednesday $1.50 nights.

On 2-fer night, a person can get two games for $2, two orders of fries for $2 and two sodas for $2. Wednesday nights are also a great deal with free shoe rental and $1.50 per game played.

Sunday is also a great deal with all you can bowl for $8. All weekday specials are applied only after 9 p.m., and the special on Sunday runs all day.

King Pin Lanes They offer great daytime bowling. Specials run all day Monday through Friday 1 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. The price per game is $1.25 and shoe rental is always $2, no matter what time a person comes in to bowl.

After 9 p.m., the price per game is $1.50 and $2 for shoe rental. If you want to come bowling at King Pin Lanes, it is cheapest to come during the day on a week day.

Mr. Biggs Bowling Alley It’s a cosmic experience. Mr. Biggs bowling alley may be a little bit more expensive than the others, but it’s worth the totally cosmic experience. The lanes are lit with black lights, which proves to have a fun atmosphere for everyone involved. The price is always a constant $2 per game and shoe rental is $3. The extra price may also be worth it for the smoke-free environment offered at Mr. Biggs. S

Amanda Putz aputz@uccs.edu Coco Chanel once said, “Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street; fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.” Fashion is confidence and an art.

Although the outfit may be laid back and messy, everything has been strategically placed; that’s the art of it.

Throughout the decades, there is always at least one fashion icon that sets the standards. In the 1960s, the top fashionistas were Audrey Hepburn, Jackie O. and Edie Sedgewick. In the 1980s, icons Madonna and Cyndi Lauper were huge. Today, the forefront of fashion is dictated by worldwide superstars like Lady Gaga and her outrageous get-ups.

Fashion, like history, music and art, tends to run

in cycles. What was “in” when our parents were young has swung back to the limelight. Right now the 1960s and 1980s are huge. Everything about these generations rocked: the music, the hair and especially the fashion.

Not only are the threads of the Terminator’s day back; they are ready for their close up.

From the 1960s we have copied the fur vests (faux of course), the adorable fedora hat, and the high-waisted pant.

From the 1980s, bold neon prints and colors are all the rage, along with oversized jewelry, perfected layered clothes, knee high boots and leggings.

The challenging part about all these looks is that they require certain masteries. The previous generations were more about music and fashion because they had no Internet, and much less to distract from everyday

life. Thanks to Google and iTunes, we are able to relive these generations and not just read about them.

Take some tips from Madonna and her “Desperately Seeking Susan” era. Madonna is the epitome of the 1980s, and lucky for us, she and her daughter Lourdes (Lola) Leon have created their own clothing line called Material Girl. These outfits seem to have literally come out of her virginal closet. Sold at Macy’s, this line is pretty affordable.

If the corporate feel gives you hives, skip Macy’s and head to The Leechpit at 708 N. Weber St. in downtown Colorado Springs. This indie shop sells great vintage clothing from the 1950s straight through to the 1990s.

Not much for shopping in person? Check out online stores like Modcloth. com and Lulu.com. S

clydes September 28 to October 4

Page 8

Game on

Clyde’s: Where the popcorn is always free.

Story by Avalon Manly I Photos by Ariel Lattimore

After 18 months of planning, renovating and remodeling, the former Pub opens tonight as Clyde’s, a new campus hangout for students, staff and faculty alike.

At the soft opening late last week, Susan Szpyrka, Associate Vice Chancellor of Administration and Finance, began by thanking everyone involved in making Clyde’s a reality. Those recognized included University Center Director Jeff Davis, UCCS Architect Carolyn Fox, Student Activities Coordinator Mitch Karstens, Director of Auxilarly Services Marketing Tamara Moore, Sodexo General Manager Russ Saunkeah, former SGA President Daniel Garcia and current SGA President Kristina Achey, as well as a number of other contractors, architects, mechanical engineers and designers.

“It was really unique for us,” expounded Szpyrka, smiling, “to hire a designer…It was a labor of love for our students.”

Obtaining a liquor license was one of the largest stumbling blocks in the development of Clyde’s.

Ultimately, Saunkeah, Chief of Police Jim Spice and Director of Emergency Services Steve Linhart helped it along – which, noted Szpyrka, was somewhat unusual.

“To have been helped out by the Chief of Police,” she said, laughing.

Three-two beer is a thing of the past for UCCS. Clyde’s serves a full selection of beers, ten domestic and eleven imported; there are a number of white and red wines from which to

choose, including a Cupcake merlot and a fruity white zinfandel.

“I’m so excited this place is serving real beer now,” said student Spencer Foote.

The bartenders have to be constantly vigilant to ensure that no underage students are able to purchase alcohol and to prevent older students purchasing it for them.

“We’ll be very strict,” said Sodexo’s Jen Voorhes, a bartender at Clyde’s. “If you order a pitcher, I need an ID for every cup that goes out.”

Voorhes noted that if underage students attempt to purchase alcohol, or if an older student buys drinks for those underage, “they can do it once and aren’t allowed back in.”

Szpyrka said, “If someone’s procuring alcohol for another person, the student will face criminal charges. But we need this place for people 21 and older. We need this place.”

When discussing the decision not to have mixed drinks available in Clyde’s, Voorhes said, “It’s a gathering place, not a bar inviting students to get drunk.”

There is also a full menu available at Clyde’s, including sliders, chicken wings, pizza, cheese sticks, salads, fries and more. Popcorn is always free for students – when it’s made, qualified Szpyrka – from the popcorn-maker just inside the doors.

Clyde’s has seating for 90, but can fit 151, will be open seven days a week and close just a half hour before the UC, which leaves it open till 10:30 p.m. on week-

nights. “We’ve never had that kind of service before,” Szpyrka said.

Throughout the year, Clyde’s will host a number of student events, including karaoke Fridays, poetry slams, club events, concerts and the broadcasting of sports events on three flat screens and a projector. On Nov. 2, Clyde’s will offer a payper-view boxing match.

“Mitch has it booked,” Szpyrka stated.

While clubs and organizations can request Clyde’s for their gatherings or events, the new pub cannot be scheduled for private events. Any event must be open to the public and not restrict others from enjoying the space. To schedule an event, contact Mitch Karstens in OSA. Szpyrka also looks forward to the return of Café Scientifique to UCCS at Clyde’s, where the Office of Research and Innovation can meet to discuss the latest breakthroughs and ideas of the scientific community.

“I think [Clyde’s is] wonderful,” said Chancellor Pam ShockleyZalabak, “I love the new Clyde’s. It’s wonderful for students, but I think a lot of faculty and staff will enjoy it as well.”

“It’s going to work,” encouraged Anthony Cordova, MOSAIC director, “I wanted it dark with a good atmosphere.

That’s the way a club is supposed to be.”

“It’s my new favorite place on campus,” said Achey.

The grand opening tonight will welcome Clyde, the mountain lion after whom the bar is named, on the lawn directly outside. S

Clockwise from top: Evan Shelton plays pool during opening night. People mingle and enjoy the food. Daniel Garcia enjoys a drink at the open bar.

culture

September 28 to October 4

Page 9

Bros icing bros: The art of humiliated drinking Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu For generations, we have held true to our American values. We have looked alcoholism in its ruddy face, and we have scoffed. We have turned to our beers before our friends, and we have shed more than a few tears and gained more than a few pounds over an empty case of Bud Light.

Drinking games erupted from a society attracted to competitively induced inebriation. Flip cup, king’s cup, quarters and beer pong inundated the party scene. This forced individuals to part with their morals, throw back a couple shots and let freedom ring…them onto the floor like a lifeless blow-up doll.

Last May, “The most badass thing to hit the streets since electronic monopoly,” came face to face with the revered masculinity of every pretentious college male in

America. Originating in the South, “bros icing bros” scoured the lands, drink in hand, preying on the homophobic; it uses wit, creativity and dicklike behavioral traits to embarrass co-workers, friends and students abound.

“Icing” or “getting iced” has very simple rules, and like most drinking games is sure to amuse, emasculate and facilitate a drunken rage when properly played.

For those unfamiliar with the game, if a person sees a Smirnoff Ice, he or she must get down on one knee and chug it.

This is to be done with little or no hesitation, but slowly enough to allow the “icer” to snap a few pictures. One UCCS student explained, “[Being Iced] sucked, it was super warm and tasted like aged piss.” Defense mechanisms include getting a new group of friends or always having a Smirnoff on hand.

In which case, an “ice

Photo by Carrie Woodruff

Two students of age take a knee after being “iced” block,” occurs and the original icer must serve the intended punishment.

Icing is an art and while many college students would rather throw a Ping-Pong ball into a red cup or put a finger down in “never have I

ever,” there are those with enough tact and effort to ice their fellow neighbor with audacious indignity.

Try strapping a bottle to the back of a dog, burying one in Creatine powder, hiding one in a

hanging plant, a backpack, behind beer in the fridge or under the covers. Shoot for early morning hours, outside a downtown coffee shop, during a mid-day break or before a large group of people. Liven up a sau-

sage-fest with a few demeaning Smirnoffs strategically placed around the house. Effort is key; creativity is crucial, and if you don’t have over a 3.0 you probably won’t find this game very fun anyway. S

I am not Nikola Tesla, but this guy thinks I am Brock Kilgore

bkilgore@uccs.edu The odd but cool part about “I am Nikola Tesla” is that it is not about Nikola Tesla.

It’s about a guy in a hole wearing a “dork” shirt.

Artistic Director and playwright Murray Ross wrote, “We felt that Tesla was so much about the future, so deeply committed to innovation, the proper way of honoring him was to create an entirely new play, set in the present.”

Those, and there will be many, looking for a documentary about Tesla’s extraordinary summer spent here in Colorado Springs may be disappointed; but, as Ross suggested, that’s what the existing works about his life are for.

This play is about innovation or, more precisely, our collective modern conceptions of it.

Luke, the lead character, is a bright American young man of Serbian descent who languishes throughout the play, digging a hole in his mother’s basement.

He literally digs himself deeper as the play unfolds around him.

The constant hum of Tesla’s 60-cycle generator fills the darkened, wire-andtransistor-filled theatre, and gives the play a mad scientist feel.

Luke’s mother, Andjela, is concerned that he spends too much time in the basement working on a replica of Tesla’s wireless electricity broadcaster, so she hires Rex, a hilariously pathetic new-age hipster psychologist (complete with ponytail and tight jeans), to “talk” with Luke.

Luke, who is the only relatively sane character in the play despite his delusions of Nikola Tesla, enjoys talking about his very real problems of not having a girlfriend – at first.

He soon figures out that Rex is simply spying on him and making moves on his mom. Luke calls him “Ziggy Dooschmeister.”

Nikola Tesla appears to the audience, and to Luke, as the white glove-wearing Serbian germiphobe that history tells us he was.

He is only a delusion, but through his dialogue, taken entirely from Tesla’s actual writing, we learn about his inventions…and his madness.

The heart of the play resides in our modern conceptions of the fine line between genius and madness. Luke, complete with Superman tattoo (hint, hint) represents the genius; and Tesla, the genius gone bad. This much is clear to us, but the comedy of this play lies in the other characters’ perceptions of Luke and his apparent delusions.

Izzy, Luke’s cleaning lady and potential girlfriend, represents the resolution of the play – that is, getting out of the hole and talking to real people. Her description of alternating current as “ping pong in a hose” is not only funny, but apt. This play is not about invention; it’s about real life.

My favorite line of the play is when Luke replies to his mother, “At least there’s no bullshit in the basement.”

And he is right. Too much of our modern world is focused on the extraordinary, and the real brilliance of our time, the Lukes, are often stuck in their mother’s basement. S

S

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

culture

Page 10

September 28 to October 4

Rubber bands of self-expression “The Town:” Better than Shelby Shively sshively@uccs.edu The Silly Bandz revolution has taken off at a remarkable speed, in multiple age groups and with unprecedented results.

They seem to be no more than rubber bands shaped in many different themes, but based on society’s addiction, there must be something more, right?

There are football team Silly Bandz, Disney Silly Bandz, Marvel superheroes, Hello Kitty, animals, holidays, religions, other sports and many more themed bandz.

There are themes geared toward boys, some geared toward girls, and they are quickly becoming the fashion statement of the year. Elementary school students are wearing them, as are middle school, high school and even college students.

As rubber bands, silly bandz do stretch out and do not retain their shape, so it makes little sense why people are so determined to wear particular shapes. However, fash-

ion often rarely makes much sense.

People of all ages love to express themselves and silly bandz give people a quick and easy way to do so. They are relatively cheap, easy to find and there is enough variety that there is something for everyone. As mentioned, there are plenty of themes to choose from in all kinds of colors.

Silly Bandz are practically trading cards now.

Elementary and middle school students will pull out their silly bandz and trade each other for the prettiest colors and coolest designs. They choose their favorites and try to trade these with their friends.

Kids collect them the way our generation collected and traded Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Silly Bandz have become not only a fashion statement, but a status symbol as well. They can represent what a person likes; this could elevate or lower a student’s status within his/her school.

Students are judged by

how “cool” their Silly Bandz are, and even by whether or not they have them at some schools.

Students are even considered nicer and more popular if they give away their Silly Bandz in the elementary school environment.

Self-expression by Silly Bandz can take interesting and unexpected forms. A high school boy who considers himself a “hippie” wears red, yellow and green Silly Bandz. A college student might wear a cross one to represent his faith or your teacher might have one shaped like Elvis Presley.

Silly Bandz are an ingenious invention because they are cheap and easy to make. They play into our individualistic society, and allow wearers to choose Silly Bandz that reflect personal values, ideas, likes and dislikes. People use Silly Bandz as a form of selfexpression in new and surprising ways, but the trend will probably last as long as most childhood trends do. S

Afflecks’s first directorial Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu Ben Affleck’s “The Town,” had a fast paced, holy hell this is going to be good, look at his abs, movie trailer. As it turns out, I should have brought my laptop and paused the trailer at 1:08 so I could watch the film, that failed to give his stomach adequate screen time, and drool over his still-frame image shirtless doing pullups. Next time I’ll go prepared with a wallet-sized cut out. But I digress.

In the film, Ben Affleck plays Doug Makay, a bank robber in the Charleston area based on the novel “Prince of Thieves.” He and his crew pride themselves in their ability to take what they want when they want it.

When Doug was six years old, his mother disappeared.

Shortly after, his father was sent to prison. After these events Doug turned to Jem, his quick triggered, closest thing to a brother, friend.

Jem’s tendency to bash heads and abduct innocent women establishes the premise of the film: bank

robber turned potential good guy hoping to get away and find himself.

The film opens with four men in terrifyingly gruesome masks; if I saw one tonight I might Mother Nature kick them in the face with my energy legs. With guns, gruff voices and skill, the robbers successfully bring the bank to its knees, but not before abducting Claire, the bank’s sweet and terrified manager.

After releasing her unharmed, the crew discovers she lives just on the other side of the Monument. Her proximity puts them all in danger and Jem begs Doug to let him scare her into hiding. Doug promises to keep an eye on her and spends a few days on surveillance before bumping into her “accidently” at a local laundromat. After watching her fold clothes, tears in her eyes, clearly rattled from the week’s events, Doug steps in and offers to buy her a drink. A romance blooms, and while this relationship is cliché and we all know what’s going to eventually happen, it works.

The romance works because it is a successfully

implemented movie device and although coincidental, Doug and Claire are a good match on film and in bed.

(Although this scene was a little brief for Hollywood) As their relationship deepens, the FBI closes in, determined to bring the four men to their knees. Doug’s father, Stephen, is serving time for a past robbery and murder.

In the film, Doug visits his father whose callous behavior reminds Doug he has a choice.

Soon after his visit, Doug decides it is time to leave the life of crime, do one last job and run away with Claire to only God knows where. However, countless obstacles, both within the crew and behind police lines make this nearly impossible to execute. What a surprise.

Quite honestly, I left the theatre slightly disappointed; I expected more action, more sex and more scenes with a shirtless Ben Affleck.

I mean, that is why I decided to go in the first place.

Not that I don’t like a good action film or a little blood around the edges, but the ending left me feeling more or less despondent. And that’s never a good thing. S

September 28 to October 4

sports

Page 11

Men’s Golf makes school history by winning Division-1 Falcon Invitational at Air Force Matthew Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu As the UCCS golf team headed home Monday, Sept. 20 after winning their second tournament of the season at the 2010 Gene Miranda Falcon Invitational, the men sent an alarming message nationally and locally to the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference. By winning their first two tournaments of the season, the men’s golf team may make a serious run for a national championship this year.

The Mountain Lions outlasted and outplayed 17 other Division 1 schools to claim the Falcon Invitational award at the Eisenhower Golf Club’s Blue Course. The men flew solo as the only Division II squad competing in the tournament.

“Talent-wise, there’s absolutely zero difference from our team compared to a D-I school; the results show that,” commented senior Riley Andrews.

In an event where UCCS has never placed higher than seventh (2007), the team managed to defeat every Colorado-based Division 1 school, including sister school University of Colorado at Boulder, Colorado State, Air Force, University of Denver and Northern Colorado.

The most salient statistic atop the list may be how UCCS knocked off No. 16 San Diego and No. 19 UNLV. UCCS was tied after two rounds of play on Sunday, Sept. 19 due in part to a five-under

par 139 finish by senior Chris Shoop. The Mountain Lions shot a team score of 573, which marked them at threeunder par. Shoop also placed second in running for best individual medalist after the first day of competition.

The men concluded the tournament Sept. 20, shooting a three-under par 861 and finished as the only team to shoot under par for the event.

Sophomore Spencer Biersdorff shot a team high two-under par 70, while Andrews and senior Brian Morfeld each were at an even par 72.

Shoop shot 74 and junior Michael Tilghman recorded a solid score of 75.

The squad appears to be off to a phenomenal start, and while tournaments are won during the season, players are made during the offseason. According to head coach Phil Trujillo, the team continued to work hard and improve over the hot, dry summer months.

“The team played in many tournaments throughout the summer to keep their games sharp. We require them to play in at least seven top events such as US OPEN Qualifier and State Amateur tournaments,” Trujillo said.

“They got a chance to work with their own swing coaches and get themselves prepared for the season. The sharpness of their play is [due to] the fact that we have a bunch of seniors with experience at this level.”

Early season success is nothing foreign to the

Photos by Michelle Wood

UCCS golf showcases their talents at the Falcon Inivitational, proving why they will be contenders for the national championships this year team and Trujillo made it clear that the men will have to remain at a consistent level of error-free golf in order to obtain their sixth consecutive RMAC Championship title and contend for a national championship.

UCCS fell just short of pursuing a national title last year.

“We will have to continue to grow as a team and pay attention to the basic things,” he said.

“Staying focused on the little things, like not missing short putts and staying focused on every shot. The teams that win championships don’t make mistakes,” he added.

“We didn’t play well enough to make it last year. Some guys didn’t play to the level that we needed them to and that hurt us,” Trujillo said.

“It’s a tough thing to do getting to the NCAAs and most people don’t understand how hard it is to make it. We play against the West Region which is all the California schools who play

year round. I always feel like we can make it; it’s what we work for and spend so much time recruiting the best players we possibly can.”

UCCS will look for continued success as

they travel to Phoenix, Arizona to compete in the Grand Canyon Fall Invitational Oct. 4-5. For updates, game scores and coverage, students can check www.GoMountainLions.com. S

sports September 28 to October 4

Page 12

Hard work pays off for both Men’s and Women’s Soccer Alex Cramer acramer@uccs.edu

September has been both a challenging and rewarding month for the men’s and women’s soccer programs.

As of late, the men’s soccer team has struggled to find the back of the net, and while this has not stopped them from battling day in and day out, going over 400 minutes without a goal can be mentally taxing. Through these difficulties, however, the Mountain Lions know the points will come as long as they keep working hard.

“The character of our team right now is still really strong, we’re still fired up to play, and we’re still ready to get after it,” said Coach Henry Ellis. Following Friday’s tie against Mesa State, Coach Ellis expressed his optimism about ending the goal-scoring drought.

“To score a goal, which we’ve struggled doing even though we’ve had numerous opportunities, you know we’ll take that. Walking away with a point after what we’ve been through, we’ll take it.”

Senior goalkeeper Adam Liszewski has been a consistent presence, keeping his GAA low at just over 2 per contest. The team’s leading scorer so far this season is junior Matt Friesen with three goals, followed by fellow junior Carlos Verdugo with two.

“We change line ups a lot and I think we finally found the line up that works best for us,” said Liszewski.

The women’s team has played above .500 soccer with a record of 4-3 overall and 1-2 in the RMAC. Close losses against Colorado Mines and Fort Lewis has the team anxious for redemption, and show that they’re on the cusp of going from a good team to a great team. Freshman Goalkeeper Kelly Schroeder has raised her game to the collegiate level keeping her GAA just above one. Junior Kristin Preble has provided the most offense with four goals in the early season while junior Julia Saenz has led the team with six assists.

The women’s team also scored the first points toward the Steel and Silver Cup with their win over CSU-Pueblo in a thrilling overtime victory on Sept. 22.

This Friday, Oct. 1, the women’s team will face Colorado Christian and on Oct. 3, the men’s team will battle Regis. Both games will be held at Mountain Lion Stadium. S -Photos by Carrie Woodruff

Women’s Volleyball split 1-1 over the weekend, head into crucial RMAC play Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu

Photo courtesy of gomountainlions.com

As UCCS took on the No. 12 Nebraska Kearny Lopers and Chadron State Eagles on the road this weekend, the Lady Mountain Lions volleyball team came out with a 1-1 record.

While losing in three (25-19, 25-8, 25-15) to the Lopers may have been tough, Junior Alex Nuttall appeared optimistic, saying, “It taught us to come together and fight as a team.”

The team responded Saturday night against Chadron State with a 3-0 (25-17, 25-14, 25-14) victory of their own by out hitting the Eagles .268 to .028. UCCS only had 10 errors compared to the Chadrons’ 23.

“It taught us to be confident and to play UCCS volleyball,” remarked Nuttall after the game.

“The middles did well

and all the freshmen got to play, even.”

Nuttall and senior Kendall Utz combined for 21 of the teams 43 digs, while Nuttall and Ntuz added 11 and 10 kills, respectively.

“Kendall passed really well, Lindsay Stitch led us in assists, and we scored from all areas of the court, it was a fun night,” recalled Nuttall, “We could just set the middles and expect them to score. It really gives us a lot of confidence in playing together and playing as a team.”

UCCS appears to have found their groove and after sophomore Nikki Kinzer’s record setting performance last week in which she set the school record for most blocks in a game, the women can contend high at the net.

The lady Mountain Lions will aim to improve their RMAC success as they take on conference rival Colorado Mines Sept.28 at the Gallogly Events Center. S

Burrito Bol Alex Cramer

acramer@uccs.edu Separate from the regular football intramural season is the 1st annual Chipotle Burrito Bol. Played out on the West Lawn, the three day long football tournament held during Back to the Bluffs weekend, Oct. 1 through 3, will feature students from UCCS and cross town rival Colorado College. Entry is $50, which may keep some students away, but the winning team will receive championship t-shirts and $20 Chipotle gift cards for their efforts. It’s open to men and women with all-male and co-ed divisions.

The students running the tournament are a part of the Sports Management Program and “… will get to apply all their skills in various areas taught in the class from hiring referees to event management,” said class instructor Glenn Steimling.

The championship game will be played at Mountain Lion Stadium Sunday, Oct. 3, with the losers going home hungry—literally.

WORK @ SCRIBE

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opinion September 28 to October 4

Page 13

Ever wonder what happens when power is given to idiots?

Stephen Farrell sfarell@uccs.edu

Photo Illustration by Ariel Lattimore

Lady Gaga sports a dress made of meat at the MTV Musc Awards, while a hungry dog watches and wonders why this Earth is such a cruel, cruel place.

Meat gone Ga Ga

Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu All you vegetarians and vegans out there cover your eyes, you will soon be reading about meat.

No straight ladies, not that kind. We’re talking about the kind of meat you should be sinking your teeth into, meat so tasty you just want to sow it up and wear the way you wear fur…yes, ladies and gents we are talking about Lady Ga Ga’s slimy, meaty (pun indented), attention grabbing dress.

The spectacle was worn by Ga Ga to the recent MTV Video Music Awards where she said passionately that it represented her gay fans...aww, how kind of you gag....*literal gag* “It is a devastation to me that I know my fans who are gay ... feel like they have governmental oppression on them. That’s actually why I wore the meat tonight,” Gaga said at the ceremony. I just feel sorry for Cher, who had to hold her purse and then hug the woman.

Members of the LGBT community cannot marry, visit their loved ones in

the hospital, have children in a way that is socially respectable (adoption is bad, apparently), serve openly in the military or expose certain aspects of their identity in certain places, which I would say, IS governmental oppression…it isn’t just something we feel.

When my girlfriend and I can’t walk though certain areas of town holding hands for fear of getting our limbs torn to pieces it isn’t just because we feel like we might get looked at funny. Take out the feel and insert some proper grammar and the meat statement would have been passable.

Just in case we didn’t understand whether this meant we are the chopped meat or the cattle, Ga Ga reiterated at her rally for repealing “Don’t ask, Don’t tell.”

“Equality is the prime rib of America, but because I am gay, I don’t get to enjoy the greatest cut of meat my country has to offer. Shouldn’t everyone deserve to wear the same meat dress I do?” Ga Ga asked the crowd.

I understand the point that is trying to be reached here, but if everyone wore the same meat dress you do, it would cost what butchers who have analyzed the dress have determined was only about $100 worth of beef. This means it would smell, go bad and contain only low quality beef…which those who can’t afford steak are used to eating anyway.

Wearing raw meat is just rude. That’s a waste of food. We all know you can afford to wear someone else’s meal as an outfit, but please, don’t actually flaunt it.

Ga Ga later told Ellen, “If we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don’t fight for our rights pretty soon, we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And I am not a piece of meat.”

This statement is well worth agreeing with, except the part where she brings the attention back to herself. If the dress really was created to make a political statement about the treatment of members of the LGBT community, then keep it there, on the community.

It isn’t that I don’t appreciate Ga Ga’s support; I do.

The LGBT movement has long been without a public figure and would only benefit from one…if they represent the community with the respect and understanding it deserves. I appreciate having a public figure to draw attention to a percentage of our population that for too long has been overlooked and disregarded. I would ask, however, that if Ga Ga is to become that figure, that she remain unwavering in her support and avoid reverting into silence. I am confused by the meat dress and hope that the next time a metaphor that doesn’t detract from the community and its needs is used instead. S

Earlier this month, on Sept. 11, a Florida pastor by the name of Terry Jones inflamed controversy with a plan for his church to host a burning of multiple Qurans (the holiest book of the Islamic religion) as a way of retaliating against Muslim extremists. Needless to say, this notion did not go over well with Muslims and much to my own pride, most Americans.

Now, I’m going to be dangerously honest here: when I first heard about this pastor’s idea a little more than three weeks ago, my former combatminded side of me reacted instantly and I thought to myself: “So what? They have no problem burning our Bibles and American flags…”

But this line of thinking only lasted for about 10 seconds, until another thought occurred to me: the fact that the scope of this planned burning would attack far more than just one tiny fraction of Muslim extremists but all of Islam’s followers. It

would include the majority of the Muslims who actually try to live their lives peacefully among others.

And then, I finally realized that if I could come to this conclusion in a matter of 20 seconds or so all on my own, what the hell was wrong with this 74-yearold pastor?

That Jones’s anger toward those responsible for the massacre which killed close to 3,000 innocent Americas just over nine years ago prompted him to have this thought is understandable. Heck, I myself have plenty of reason to be angry at the most radical elements of the said religion; as a former Marine Corps scout having survived four IED explosions (two that resulted in substantial concussions), I have seen countless bullets fly past me, and witnessed numerous friends either wounded or killed all in the name of Islam (dubbed so by irrational extremists); I can still conclude to myself that not only is it wrong to offend so many in this manner (by burning Qurans), but the act doubles as an outright vile and vicious attack at the hearts of those Muslims who live their lives harmoniously.

And so can thousands of others with similar experiences.

In the week leading up to the planned burning, Pastor Jones finally rescinded on his ardent stance of performing what would

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have easily been one of the most outrageous acts of hate ever publicly performed on American soil.

Jones only did this at the behest and strong advice of some of the top political leaders in this nation, who warned him that his actions would cause even more harm and danger to actively deployed American service members; to which Jones responded by saying the following: “We are, of course, now against any other group burning Qurans,” and further adding, “We would right now ask no one to burn Qurans.

We are absolutely strong on that. It is not the time to do it.”

The fact that it took politicians to properly educate Jones on the dangers that his actions would have posed to troops overseas only proves how much of an idiot he really is. In fact, it reminds me of a shirt that I’ve seen worn around with the caption reading: “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” Of course the “large groups” being Jones and any of his merry moron band of followers who would have assisted him in his supreme insult to 22 percent of the world’s population – in other words, 1.57 billion Muslims.

So, I guess the moral that can be drawn is this: Don’t promote idiots into positions as ordained pastors. S

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Page 14

Required to make you a better person

Jasen Cooper jcooper2@uccs.edu On every student’s degree progress report can be found a list of required courses seemingly unrelated to his or her chosen field of study.

Liberal Arts majors will find themselves taking math courses, while scientists and engineers are forced to take anthropology and writing classes. This system results in a bunch of students whining amongst themselves during passing periods, grumpily considering transfer to some magical college where they think these required classes don’t exist.

The fact of the matter is that UCCS’ approach, which is the same as most every college in the U.S., is meant to make students well-round-

ed. This philosophy on education is better known as the Athenian education system, and has been around since, well, the time we all think of when we hear “Athens.”

Back in the day, the popular idea in Athens was that boys must be taught to read and write, but also to wrestle and wield a spear, such that they could be productive citizens during war or peacetime.

This is opposite of the policies in Sparta, of course, where boys were expected to kill things at any given moment, impregnate women and have abs with which you could grate cheese.

In this modern age, the same principles apply to different types of universities.

You could go somewhere like the School of Mines to learn nothing but math all the time, and you would be closer to the Spartan end of the scale of learning (excepting the impregnating part; let’s be honest). Or, you could go to a school like UCCS and learn about English, math, humanities and maps and compasses. While it would be more fun to be an extra in a movie starring Gerard Butler, you’re going to

find more sustainable career opportunities (and friends) by following the Athenian approach to education.

So stop complaining. Seriously, just stop it. I know, math is hard and you’ll never need to find the area of a circle ever again. But developing critical thinking skills while in college ensures that your job isn’t eventually replaced by a two-line program in Java.

Math majors need to stop complaining about required liberal arts classes, too. Yes, you could be at home integrating some functions instead of writing a research paper on the benefits of glycerin soap for your weirdsmelling humanities teacher.

But being able to find the fourth root of infinity is of no use to anyone if you’re not able to communicate said knowledge to the greater public. No, wheezing while using several multi-syllabic gibberish math-words in a tone generally reserved for use by Scottish lords does not count. Develop some social skills already.

My point is that going to a college like UCCS and obtaining a well-rounded

education means something in today’s world. You don’t get that degree without, at some point, having to suck it up and learn something.

If all the Communications majors crying about college algebra had their way, their BA would be even more meaningless than it’s

already bound to be. Just imagine if your potential future employer knew you had to take only the easiest classes in the easiest major from a bunch of instructors who couldn’t care less. I doubt you’d get the job.

Whereas if you graduate from an institution known

Comic by Arno

for challenging its students, for pushing them to try new and difficult things, potential future employers will give your resume more than a single glance. You might even get that invitation for a phone interview from Target that you’ve always wanted. S

I like it on the bed, on the floor and on that old ancient desk in the corner

Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu I remember when a boy chased me through the halls in my slippers and pinched me so hard I had bruises all over my arms.

It’s because he liked me.

That was actually terrifying.

I remember when I was in fifth grade the boy I liked – the boy with the blonde peach fuzz hair – pushed me during recess.

That night I wrote in my diary, “Nathan pushed me today. He must like me.”

I remember my first kiss: by the end of it I was not only out of breath, but completely certain tongues were disgusting, and pecks would be more than adequate in the future.

While these physical signs of heartache and

young love have since faded, they have been replaced by a culture obsessed with playing hard to get.

The truth is, though, it’s over-rated; in fact, those of you who think ignoring phone calls, texts, Tweets and Facebook messages is endearing, think again.

Playing hard to get is something small animals do, like your roommate’s puppy. And still, after chasing him around the room for a few minutes, even he knows when to give it up and let his belly be scratched. So give it up. We’re tired of chasing you across Colorado; undress and let’s do this. If you’re interested, that is.

Though honestly, even if you aren’t, I’m probably still game.

A few days ago, reality struck. It struck so hard I tripped over my shoes, knocked my elbow on my desk and howled loudly to Mother Nature for making me have to pee in the middle of the night. Sitting on the toilet more than a few ugly curse words later, I had an epiphany, and as a friend told me earlier in the week, “It’s not about

trying to be hard to get, it’s about legitimately being hard to get because you are so busy. If he is interested, he’ll have to try.”

Because here’s the thing: you might be able to rationalize for hours that he likes you and that really he’s just confused or he’s afraid to be hurt or he doesn’t want to appear vulnerable, but at the end of the day, he’s probably just not that into you.

Men are only as complicated as we make them.

While they might not be upfront and tell you exactly how they feel, the way they treat you sure as hell will. If he texts you randomly, only calls you when he’s drunk and puts you through a number of tests to prove you like him, he is wasting your time.

If he tells you he likes you, don’t get too excited.

He probably didn’t mean it. And if he did, he probably only meant it that day, because if he’s not trying to see you, and if he’s not taking time out of his day to make you feel special, his degree of liking is similar to how much you like doing laundry—not a

whole lot. If he isn’t slamming you against the wall in the library to kiss you, you probably don’t stand a chance. Because really, it’s not that hard; there’s no necessary preamble.

This isn’t the orchestra.

Move on, be happy and forget him. Life is not a waiting game. Life

is not for those addicted to cheap romance novels and life is not to be played with. Keep busy, fill your life, keep your friends close, pursue your dreams and, damn it, please stop putting up with his bullshit.

The problem, of course, is that we rarely

Comic by Arno

like the guys who pursue us. Instead, we like the mystery guy, the one that seems unattainable and the one who needs to be “figured out.” But if you aren’t certain he’s really into you and if he hasn’t already ripped your shirt off in a heated pre-sex ritual, get the hell out. S

Scribble Bear sighting on campus

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.”

the

Jasen Cooper

jcooper2@uccs.edu Campus police are on alert after a bear sighting last week, said to be the first in this area since July.

“This kind of encounter is way out of season,” Officer Scott Combo said during an interview.

“Since their migration starts in June and tapers off rapidly throughout July, we’re used to seeing a few stragglers during the summer months.

Students are usually too busy trying to fulfill their few social science requirements to be in any real danger. But to have one show up well into fall semester, it’s

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just unheard of.”

The bear was first seen near the Alpine Village apartments, strutting briskly toward the Recreation Center.

It stopped for about 30 minutes there, to lift weights and watch the men’s swim team practice. It was kicked out when Recreation Center staff noticed the plethora of zippers donning its leather chaps; zippers are considered a hazard when working out.

The bear then performed a choreographed dance-walk toward the parking garage, where it stopped by the Student Health Center for free condoms and lube. Campus police were not near

TOP TEN

Pets to hide in your dorm room

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Ferret: What’s not to love about a small, carnivorous mammal that can fit into confined and secretive spaces like in the furnace or under your roommate’s mattress?

Purse sized dog: These overgrown rodents can be kept in one of those magazine racks at the end of your coffee table, just ensure the RA that the reading material isn’t that great.

Turtle: name it Franklin (for old time’s sake) and hide it in the shower when room inspections come around.

Rabbit: Just make sure another rabbit doesn’t come along or you won’t be able to hide this one.

Snake: Two weeks in and you can’t stand your roommate? Problem solved.

Dwarf hamster: Not only are they quiet, they have collapsible bones and that’s just interesting.

Mouse: You can teach them to do tricks… and that’s about it. If you get sick of it you can feed it to your roommates snake and enjoy the show.

Those zoo animals you can take care of on Facebook: Need something you won’t really care about when it dies because you didn’t feed it or clean it in four days? Get one of these.

Tamagachi: These furry virtual friends won’t judge you or make you feel bad.

Okay, so they cry and a crying tamagachi is enough to make anyone cry.

Your younger sibling: At least they aren’t part of the rodent family.

-Catherine Jensen

the parking garage at the time, as they were all responding to a call about a dead battery. The bear was able to evade capture, then, and proceeded across campus.

It stopped briefly at the MOSAIC office in order to pick up some pamphlets and younger male students, but no such students were available. Campus officials are calling it a close call.

The bear was eventually found rummaging through Theatreworks discarded clothing bin, where it was tranquilized. It was then tagged and released back into its natural habitat near Acacia Park.

Photo Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Did you know that “bear” is also a term for an older, hairy gay gentlemen? I bet this story makes a lot more sense now, huh?

Students are advised cuddly but potentially its excessive body hair, to be on the lookout for dangerous, especially if which will be exposed any other bears entering you insult their leather under its metal-studded campus grounds. They ensemble. Students can harness and ass-less are considered generally easily identify a bear by chaps. S

UCCS to implement new “Bag and Tag” student migration study Andrew Roake aroake@uccs.edu Earlier today, the Facilities Services department announced a new study in order to “Better track student herd migrations and provide greater guidance to future walkway planning.”

The study, which will involve tranquilizing and fitting some two hundred unsuspecting students with radio collars and identification tags, is set to begin on Oct. 1, coinciding with the beginning of deer season.

When asked if the aligning dates were a coincidence, Pavit Dover, head of the department, laughed in reply. “Noticed that, didn’t you?

Yeah, that was a great idea on my part, if I say so myself. Our department’s been hit by the budget cuts, same as everybody else, and I was worried that we wouldn’t be able to get the study done because of staff limitations.

But then my buddy over at the CDNR (Colorado Department of Natural Resources) mentions that their deer tag sales were way down this year because of the recession.

Ding! I put two and two together, posted some flyers asking for free volunteers at a few of the hunt-

Photo Courtesy of enchantedacrescamp.com

Pavit Dover’s team of expert hunters. This is the last time the group was photographed, and it is suspected they have had their appearances altered. ing supply stores around dents wishing to not par- tranqued. They’ll just feel town, and had five times ticipate in the study avoid like they’re nodding off the needed number of ap- seemingly unattended like they always do. And plications within the first iPods, cases of beer or ra- that’s when the tag team forty-eight hours.” men and gift cards to the will move in. Some of When asked if fitting UCCS bookstore during these guys are able to field students with tracking the first week of October. strip a full-grown buck in equipment during reguDover went on to out- less than five minutes. lar college hours will be line the implementation Slapping on a collar and disruptive to campus life, of the study. In order to an ear tag won’t be any Dover assured that would get the best results from problem for them.” not be the case. “The guys the study, students chosen Finally, when asked if I got, they’re real profes- must have as little knowl- he thinks the bulky metal sionals. Most times you edge of the fact that they radio collars or bright orwon’t even know they’re are being tracked as pos- ange ear tags will be bothon campus. Several of ’em sible. To facilitate this, ersome to some students, spent the last few weeks the researchers intend to Dover laughed once scoping out the campus, take most of their sub- again. and they told me that the jects from 8 a.m. and 4 “Have you seen what majority of the tricks they p.m. classes, with a heavy those kids are wearing use on the deer and other emphasis on any class these days? We expect animals will work just as that includes watching a that bulky metal collars well on the average col- large number of slides or and bright orange earlege student.” videos. rings will be the height of On a related note, Do“Most students won’t fashion by the end of the ver recommends that stu- even realize they’ve been month.” S

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