Oct. 5, 2010

the

Scribe

October 5 to October 11, 2010 [Volume 35; Issue 6]

A Jack-’o-lantern’s

beginning

Page 8 & 9 Inside this issue...

‘Werewolves’ triumphant on Cripple Creek stage (page 10)

2010 sees campus-wide increase in drug violations page 7

UCCS Intramurals continue to grow (page 11)

editorial

Page 2

We’re only as sick as our secrets (part one of two)

Editor-in-Chief Avalon Manly

die.

The truth is, people

Sometimes, we die peacefully, after a full and optimized life.

More often, we die far too soon, and in strange or terrible circumstances.

But whatever the cause or hour, we all die. It’s not a question; it’s a statement of logical progression, irrefutable at the basest level.

Despite the fact that each of us possesses this information, our culture is still collectively mortified when faced with discussing death. Regardless of religious affiliations, we speak of death in hushed tones and with downcast eyes, as if it were some anthropomorphized, sentient being, summoned upon mention.

Perhaps it’s due to the sheer mystery of death and the lack of demonstrable evidence of any continued existence after our last breath. Perhaps it’s our inherent and deeply seated fear of change, or our inability to compartmentalize and control the act of dying.

Perhaps it’s the way we feel so deeply deprived when someone close to us passes away. We don’t need to know the source, though, to know that we the people are, on the whole, more than reluctant to speak freely about the end of our lives.

This strange aversion to the topic of death is not new. On the contrary, it’s something the brightest minds have speculated upon for ages.

In 1919, in his essay “The Uncanny,” Sigmund Freud expressed

this point better than I: “To many people the acme of the uncanny is represented by anything to do with death… We might in fact have begun our investigation with this example of the uncanny – perhaps the most potent – but we did not do so because here the uncanny is too much mixed up with the gruesome and partly overlaid by it.

Yet in hardly any other sphere has our thinking and feelings changed so little since primitive times or the old been so well preserved, under a thin veneer, as in our relation to death. Two factors account for this lack of movement: the strength of our original emotional reactions and the uncertainty of our scientific knowledge. Biology has so far been unable to decide whether death is the necessary fate of every living creature or simply a regular, but perhaps unavoidable, contingency within life itself. It is true that in textbooks on logic the statement that ‘all men must die’ passes for an exemplary general proposition, but it is obvious to no one; our unconscious is still as unreceptive as ever to the idea of our own mortality.

Religions continue to dispute the significance of the undeniable fact of individual death and to posit an afterlife. The state authorities this they cannot sustain moral order among the living if they abandon the notion that life on earth will be ‘corrected’ by a better life hereafter. …Since nearly all of us still think no differently from savages on this subject, it is not surprising that the primitive fear of the dead is still so potent in us and ready to manifest itself if given any encouragement. Moreover, it is probably still informed by the old idea that whoever dies becomes the enemy of the survivor, intent upon carrying him off with him to share his new existence.

Given this unchanging attitude to death,

one might ask what has become of repression, which is necessary if the primitive is to return as something uncanny. But it is there too: so-called educated people have officially ceased to believe… and their emotional attitude to the dead, once highly ambiguous and ambivalent, has been toned down, in the higher reaches of mental life, to an unambiguous feeling of piety.”

Dealing with death has never been something at which humankind is terribly good, and that has never been truer than in the instances of suicide.

Suicide is, admittedly, never easy to discuss, but now it seems to be a taboo topic: it is so rarely touched upon in any detail that it is surrounded by heaviness and difficulty. It is a social secret, kept by mutual, unspoken agreement, and to drag it into the lighted open is viewed with, at best, distaste or morbid curiosity and, at worst, a dark and malevolent interest.

A very wise person once told me, “We’re only as sick as our secrets.”

Our fears and weaknesses hold great sway in the unvoiced dark – but once we speak them, once we name them, they lose some power over us.

That’s one reason why Freud’s “talking cure” is still considered such a monumental contribution to human progress: because voicing our secrets breaks their hold and allows us to both accept and give help.

We, as young people, as college students, have kept the secret of suicide for far too long. We’ve granted it too much control over us. We can no longer allow it to keep us chained and silent in its unhurried darkness, engorged and swollen on our collective, unspoken fear.

Dear readers, fellow students: It’s time to talk about suicide.

(To be concluded...)

S

October 5 to October 11

the scribe The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs

Editor-in-Chief.........................................Avalon Manly Managing Editor........................................Jessica Lynch Business Manager................................Robert Rodriguez Advertising/Sales Manager..........................Luis Hidalgo News Editor.........................................Catherine Jensen Culture Editor.........................................Brock Kilgore Athletics Editor......................................Matt Crandall Opinion/Scribble Editor..............................Jasen Cooper Photograhy Editor.................................Ariel Lattimore Copy Editor.............................................Cherise Fantus Web Designer...........................................Dorian Rogers Layout Designers..........................................J.D. Osorio ....................................................................Shreya Raj Reporters...................................................Alex Cramer Photographers.....................................Carrie Woodruff ...........................................................Chelsea Bartlett .............................................................Michelle Wood Junior Reporters.........................................J.P. Niehaus ................................................................Ivory Walker .................................................................Amanda Putz ................................................................Kristin Garst ............................................................Ryan Piechowski ..............................................................Shelby Shively ...................................................................Amy Koumis ...................................................................Ryan Adams ...............................................................Corey Mensing Contributors...........................................Steven Farrell Cartoonist............................................................Arno Distributor...........................................Donald Trujillo Advisor.....................................................Laura Eurich ---------------Cover photo by Carrie Woodruff---------------The Scribe UC 106 (719) 255-3658 (719) 255-3469 (719) 255-3600 www.uccsscribe.com scribe.eic@gmail.com

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student life

October 5 to October 11

all aboard

failboat

the

German Reunification Party

Page 3

Segue fail.

Jimi Heselden, 62, owner of the multi-million dollar company that produces Segways (two-wheeled motorized scooters that are steered based on which way the driver leans), died last week after plunging off a cliff on an off-road version of the Segway scooter – because apparently such things do exist, but cannot yet fly. Heselden, a philanthropist and businessman estimated to be worth approximately £166 million (about $266 million), was found at the base of an 80-foot limestone cliff within 12 miles of his estate in West Yorkshire, because that’s as far as the rugged off-road Segway can travel in one jaunt. His scooter was in the river nearby where he had landed.

Heselden bought Segway, Inc. not even a year ago, and had many plans to further develop the device, probably none of which included how to safely drive one off a cliff.

To return or not to return? For 35 years, that was the question.

The Berlin Wall fell in the fall of 1989, and this year, you can celebrate the subsequent reunification of East and West Germany with the UCCS German Club. On Friday, at 3 p.m., head to Dwire 270 for some free food. Be sure to wear your authentic German attire, because the best lederhosen win a prize.

Have you ever kept a library book so long that you wondered whether it would be more cost effective to return it and pay the fine or just keep it forever and never go to the library again? Last week, librarians at the Winona Public Library in Winona, Minn. were surprised to retrieve a book from their return bin that had been checked out in the early 1970s. According to the AP, it’s a collection of the childhood journal entries of current prominent public figures and is called “Small Voices: A Grownup’s Treasury of Selections from the Diaries, Journals and Notebooks of Young Children.” Librarians estimated the accumulated overdue fine at more than $1,400, but were unable to track down who had checked the book out, because of a change to their circulation system that occurred sometime in the last 35 years.

FTW

“Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’ I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, ‘Trick or treat. No thank you.’”

-Rita Rudner

Fill out the sudoku puzzle below so that each row and column contain the numbers 1 through 9 with none repeated. Return it and the adjacent crossword to the Scribe office when finished; if you’re the first one done (and they’re done right), you’ll be entered into a drawing for two free tickets to the Haunted Mines.

Tarnishing the Silver Screen 1

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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Wed Sep 29 02:51:30 2010 GMT. Enjoy!

ACROSS 1 Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte visit the Middle East and...are not stoned to death for their attire?

What a twist!

4 Since when did coins in a fountain equate to true love?

5 I pity the foo who thought this was a good movie.

14 A movie about magic Asians that was cast with no Asians.

16 Because watching young, talentless white kids "dance" wasn't bad enough in two dimensions.

DOWN 2 Poor Steve Carell. You never should have left "The Office."

3 As if you needed an excuse to watch Russell Brand gallivant across the silver screen.

6 Bestiality and necrophilia and both better than having no personality whatever.

7 First comes pregnancy, then comes love?

8 The epitaph of Vince Vaughn's career.

9 After "Mean Girls," leading lady Amanda Seyfried can't ever hope to be taken seriously.

10 Starring Megan Fox's boobs and fewer explosions than "Transformers."

11 With this many action stars, how can they possibly afford a plot?

12 If I were an action hero, my wheelchair-bound grandma would be badass too.

13 Sunday funnies should never be full-length movies.

"Garfield" taught us that.

15 Adrian Brody is a mad geneticist now. Who knew?

news October 5 to October 11

Page 4

UCCS entrance sign set to use solar power Kristin Garst kgarst@uccs.edu A solar-powered entrance sign is currently under construction at the intersection of Austin Bluffs Parkway and Nevada Avenue.

Vice Chancellor of Administration and Finance Brian Burnett explained that the sign is a “statement to the community that we [UCCS] intend to grow.”

The new sign serves to mark expanding campus territory as well as the school’s commitment to continued growth.

According to Executive Director of University Advancement Tom Hutton, “That corner has been a part of the university property for a long time,” and the sign will now visibly mark the territory. “People just used the last [stretch of land] for things such as political and garage sale signs… we needed to show people they were coming on to Mountain

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

The new sign serves as a marker for the entrance to campus and, since it’s very difficult to run power lines through the brush of the hillside, will be lit by solar power.

Lion property.”

The sign is using solar power because not only is it more sustainable, but “…there was no way to get electricity to it,” said Hutton. Instead of wiring the sign, solar collectors will be placed behind the sign to gather sunlight

during the day so that it can be used to light the sign at night, Burnett further explained.

Although there will be no new academic buildings built on that land in the near future, Burnett said UCCS has a “very bright future in terms of

Everything you need to know about the GRE Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu Figuring out what to do before you graduate can be a daunting task. There are several requirements to meet before UCCS will let you go. These include submitting a writing portfolio and taking the dreaded GRE. Director of the Writing Program and Associate Professor Debra Dew said that it is invaluable for students to know how to write when they leave college. “We want to make sure your writing proficiency is at a level high enough for a graduate of UCCS.” All undergraduates must take ENGL 1310 and either ENGL 1410, 2080, or 2090, in addition to submitting a writing portfolio. The portfolio must contain two papers from classes pertaining to a student’s major.

The writing portfolio is assessed by writing faculty at UCCS and given a pass or fail grade.

Portfolios should be submitted near the end

of your sophomore year or the beginning of your junior year. Information packets on the procedure are available in the portfolio office, Columbine 1046. For help in writing papers, the UCCS Writing Center is located in Columbine 316.

Educational Testing Service (ETS), the nonprofit organization, has been developing standardized tests including the Graduate Record Exam (GRE) since 1942.

The Graduate Record Exam (GRE) is broken down into three primary components: quantitative reasoning, verbal reasoning, and analytical writing. Each section is graded on a 200 to 800 scale, according to ets.org.

Ets.org offers information on the history of the GRE, testing centers and what to expect before taking the exam.

According to the site, a revised version of the test is scheduled to appear in 2011. Students who take the revised version in August or September of 2011 will

earn fifty percent off the test cost, according to the site.

“The GRE general test currently costs $140 (subject tests are extra); if you’re taking it for the first time, there’s no extra charge for sending off as many as four copies. If you’ve already taken the GRE and want to add the PPI anyway, the cost is $20 per report,” ets.org states.

William Meyers, a senior instructor at UCCS said, “It takes different people different time to assimilate different information. It’s up to the individual to determine when they should start studying.” There are many commercial products available to help including flash cards, online practice quizzes and study books. At UCCS, extended education offers a GRE prep course.

Myers added that taking the course will increase a student’s chances of getting into a good grad school. The next prep course is in November.

Students may contact Carley Ries at carley. ries@uccs.edu. S

land holding.” He emphasized the fact that UCCS property stretches from Union Boulevard and Austin Bluffs Parkway to Nevada Avenue and Austin Bluffs Parkway.

Hutton also added that the university will eventually expand to fill that

land, but it will be a slow process given the limited university funding and available resources.

Both the community and flat workers donated to the project; some of these donors include C&C Sand and Phipps Construction. Over 25

percent of the sign’s cost was made available as a university resource. Due to the many large contributions and shared interest in helping advance the university, Burnett explained, “We felt like we had to go through with the sign.” S

Avalon Manly

sanitarium contributing to the overall atmosphere and providing a natural theme of a hospital overrun with frightful patients.

“That was a little harder to set up,” said Griebel, “because we had to create our own hallways and everything.”

This year, Griebel anticipates a slightly simpler but no less terrifying endeavor.

“We’ve got the bluff behind Main Hall, which is already kind of creepy by itself,” he explained, laughing.

The event was cancelled last year due to inclement weather, so STAT retained all their supplies and designs for use this year. This was nice, Griebel explained, because STAT didn’t have to approach SGA for new funds this year.

The Haunted Forest:Murder on the Bluffs, as it has been

dubbed this year, will be a guided group tour across the bluff so that the route and timing can be controlled, said Griebel.

Volunteer scarers have been recruited from the student body, and a makeup artist from the Haunted Mines has volunteered his services to help make spooky the student participants. Two “killer lumberjacks” will roam with chainsaws through the undergrowth and cover on the bluff, lunging to scare students as they pass.

“I don’t want to give away too much,” said Griebler, “but there’s lots of gore, makeup and people popping out.”

The Haunted Forest will be open for business on Thursday night at 7 p.m. or as soon as it gets dark, whichever is sooner, and will continue through October. S

Fourth annual campus haunted house to have ‘killer lumberjack theme’ amanly@uccs.edu

Students Today, Alumni Tomorrow (STAT) debuts its fourth annual campus haunted house Thursday night on the bluff behind Main Hall, and will employ a “killer lumberjack theme,” said STAT Chair Joe Griebel.

Turning a part of campus into a haunted house during the month of October has become tradition at UCCS. Each year, approximately 200 students visit STAT’s Halloween production; the event is always free to UCCS students, alumni, faculty and staff.

“We’ve gotten pretty good at [setting up a haunted house,]” Griebel said.

In previous years, Main Hall itself was the venue for a campus haunting, its previous status as a tuberculosis

October 5 to October 11

news

S.O.L.E gives students transportation options Ryan Adams

radams3@uccs.edu UCCS’ S.O.L.E (Student Outdoor Leadership Expeditions) program, located inside the Campus Recreation Center, is providing students alternate ways to traverse the campus and experience the great outdoors. The Bike Share Program is a combined effort between the Campus Recreation Center, Public Safety and the Sustainability Departments. Their goal is to offer access to different forms of transportation, and as explained

by Ben Rahoy, a S.O.L.E employee, “the Bike Share Program gives students a chance to ride a mountain bike and enjoy the city of Colorado Springs.”

“We have all the accessories you would need

for a bike and they are all free for students and faculty to use,” added Rahoy.

Some of these accessories include saddle bags, helmets, locks, pumps and bike tools. These, as mentioned by Rahoy, are available upon request.

Each user is allotted 10 days to use the bike each semester. There are 11 available bikes at the S.O.L.E bike shop and they can be used for three consecutive days. Also, weekends do not count against the 10 day user policy. However, equipment returned late will result in a $10 per day charge and users are responsible for any damage done to the bike.

The program offers students a fun and easy way to take advantage of the warm weather while saving gas and helping the environment. The UCCS

Photo by Michelle Wood

Many students take advantage of bicycles in order to help them navigate campus, like these two students pedaling through the Upper Plaza.

community is encouraged to take advantage of this program and stop by the S.O.L.E office Monday, Wednesday or Friday from 2 to 6 p.m. to check out a

bike.

Additionally, S.O.L.E organizes other recreational activities like backpacking, whitewater rafting and fly fishing. Many of

Shuttle system strives for sustainability, safety Kristin Garst kgarst@uccs.edu The UCCS shuttle system is focused both on student safety and sustainability and while the increase in enrollment has been difficult to accommodate, William Whitfield, manager of parking and transportation, explained, “[We are] throwing everything [we] can behind the busses with the number one priority being safety.”

This is done in part through the safety and transportation fee included yearly in each student’s admission fee.

The $64 fee is used to ensure a safely run and effectively utilized shuttle system.

This fee is also essential to the buses’ upkeep and maintenance.

Rus Wilcox, transportation services supervisor, explained that preventative and reactive maintenance for the buses during the 2009-2010 academic year cost exactly $21,869.68 Additionally, $32,539.97 was spent on gas alone.

Even though the cost to run the shuttles is expensive, Whitfield and Wilcox are focused on the present sustainability efforts being made.

Wilcox stated, “They run

Page 5

these events are either free or offered at bargain prices for students and faculty.

Still to come this semester, S.O.L.E will be hosting the Mount Cutler moon-

light hike on Oct. 22 for $10, geocaching on Nov. 6 for $10 and a ski and hot springs trip to Monarch mountain on Dec. 11 for only $65. S

Green tea: Does it work miracles?

Amanda Putz aputz@uccs.edu

Green tea is society’s current “it” product and can be found in diet pills, drinks, beauty supplies and even our beloved ice cream. It is an integral ingredient because it contains antioxidants that fight free radicals and help decrease chances of certain health problems. The green tea antioxidants are called catechins; these antioxidants search for free radicals in the body that contribute to cancers, the aging process, diabetes and blood clots.

Originating in China, the tea is made from the leaves of the Camellia Sinensis plant. Many countries, China included, have used green tea in their diets for centuries and have experienced its subsequent health effects.

These benefits, however, are only achieved when coupled with a well-balanced diet of fruits, vegetables and whole grains.

According to Jackie Berning, a professor in the Biology Department, “If you want to have a cup of green tea in the morning that’s fine, but you also need to incorporate more fruits and vegetables and watch the amount of fast food you’re putting in your body.”

The main difference between green tea and the other Chinese teas like black and oolong, is its method of proPhoto by Ariel Lattimore cessing. The green tea process is more delicate, and inThis shuttle is not on it’s way to campus, but actually to the studio for the stead of being fermented, green tea leaves are steamed. popular MTV dating show NEXT. By steaming the leaves, the green tea catechins, the most prominent being epigallocatechin-3-gallate (EGCG), on biodiesel fuel.” WhitAs explained by This year, the bus sys- becomes more concentrated. In this form EGCG can field further emphasized, Whitfield, “We take what tem has seen a 7 percent assist in the reduction of cancer tumors and has other “It adds sustainability we do very seriously; we increase in riders, added therapeutic properties as well. because the fuel is not honestly try to provide Spice. Last year, the toAnother major health benefit of green tea is its aid as bad for the environ- the best service for ev- tal bus rider headcount in weight loss; research shows that green tea boosts a ment.” Jim Spice, Chief erybody.” Part of this ser- totaled 204,000, as noted user’s metabolism, decreases appetite and will inhibit of Police and Executive vice is driving at slower by Wilcox. fat absorption. Consequently, there are approximately Director of Public Safe- speeds to ensure student As of Aug. 31, 2010 20 weight loss products with green tea as a prominent ty, noted, “The whole safety. While many stu- the university is 13,027 ingredient. The most effective of these contain caffeinidea behind using the bus dents have complained, people above last year’s ated green tea. Diet pills in general contain caffeine besystem includes sustain- Whitfield explains, “The count performed on the cause it increases the user’s heart rate, making it easier ability. With using the last thing we want to do same date. to lose weight when he or she exercises. bus, students are able to is put any passenger in a Students are widely While green tea is beneficial, it is not the cure-all drive less and carpool to situation that is unsafe.” encouraged to use the supplement. Eating healthfully will ensure positive the university.” Sustain- With the increase of pas- bus system because the green tea results. Also, being aware of the health danability efforts are wide- sengers the risk involved amenities and security gers of consuming vast amounts of caffeine on a daily spread across campus in transportation is great- available far outweigh basis is important to consider. Studies advise three to and the shuttle system is er; shuttle drivers must the benefits of parking five cups of green tea daily, but if this is too difficult, focused and determined be aware of their sur- in the nearby neighbor- green tea extract, green tea pills or a green tea patch are to do its part. roundings at all times. hood. S S available options.

news

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October 5 to October 11

Automated ticketing for drivers found running reds Kristin Garst kgarst@uccs.edu Being a careless driver, running red lights and speeding through intersections have justified the need for red light traffic cameras in the Colorado Springs area. This program will not only earn more money for the state, but as Sergeant Steven Noblitt, public information officer at the Colorado Springs Police Department explained, “Part of the goal the Colorado Springs Police Department is trying to achieve includes reducing front-to-side motor vehicle accidents and dangerous red light violations.” These accidents kill more than 1,000 people in a single year. Red light cameras are currently installed in four Colorado Springs intersections.

These include northbound on Nevada Avenue at Bijou Street, eastbound Barnes Road at Oro Blanco Drive, westbound Platte Avenue at Murray Boulevard, and westbound Platte Avenue at Circle Drive.

According to several CSPD studies over the course of several years, these are some of the most dangerous in the city as far as side impact crashes.

With red light running

being more likely than any other type of automobile accident and its subsequent high mortality rate, Colorado Springs is instituting the program for the safety of drivers. The cameras are not currently issuing tickets, but warnings will be given until mid- October. By the end of October the system will be issuing tickets.

Running red lights is statistically proven to be the most common cause of accidents. According to the Colorado Springs Police Department, 47 percent of accidents result from red light running.

Causing 1,000 deaths and 90,000 personal injuries, it is one of the most serious kinds of accidents next to drunken driving.

Noblitt explained, “The cameras will catch a picture of the driver, a picture of the license plate and a 12 second video of the car in violation. After that, all the information will be sent to a police officer who can analyze the video and issue a ticket.” The tickets issued by red light cameras will cost less than those given by officers patrolling the streets. Instead of paying the $150 or higher fee, the cameras issue $75 tickets for running a red light and $40 for speed-

Photo by Chelsea Bartlett

Drivers throughout the city are now subjected to the observation of intersection cameras, which monitor the area and record and subsequently ticket cars that run ted lights.

ing. Jointly, four points can be given for running a red light if pulled over by a police officer.

If caught by a red light camera, no points are issued against the license.

Violators are given the option to pay the ticket or dis-

pute it in court.

Some cities are refusing to implement the red light program while others have opted to use cameras in all major intersections.

Noblitt noted, “Colorado Springs is starting on a small scale (four intersec-

tions) to analyze the cost, benefits and validity before expanding the program to other intersections in Colorado Springs.” The future of the red light camera program is dependent on these results.

CSPD’s ultimate goal as

expressed by Noblitt is to “make intersections safer for the people of Colorado Springs.” Statistics and other facts received from the Colorado Springs Police Department website are available at http:// www.springsgov.com. S

September’s OSA challenge winners ‘care and share’ Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu This year, for the first time, OSA held a challenge for Care and Share, a non-profit food bank that serves communities in Southern Colorado.

From Sept. 1 through Sept. 15, students organized themselves into teams and competed to gather the most cans for prizes. Mitch Karstens, OSA Program Coordinator, said of the event, “This is a new activity that we think is a great way for students to have fun, connect with the campus, and compete against one another.”

Students were able to participate individually or as a team. No restrictions were

placed on how to collect the most cans.

Students were encouraged to be creative.

For this challenge six individuals and teams competed. Over 550 cans were collected, said Karstens, “This was a great participation and a great way to help the greater Colorado Springs community.”

First place winners Paul Wood, Chris Mellot and Katie Horner, collected 351 cans as a team and were awarded their name on a plaque in the ROAR office along with two free tickets to the formal and dinner for two at the Melting Pot. The second place winner, Melissa Hurt received free appetizers for P.F. Changs and two free tickets to the campus formal. The third place winners Denise Perez and Christina Perez

also received two free formal tickets.

The challenge doesn’t end here. According to Karstens, OSA will be hosting a series of different challenges each month for the rest of the school year. Each person that participates will receive five points for participating and then the top three to five winners will receive additional points. Prizes will be awarded each month for the person or team that wins.

At the end of the year the person with the most points will also receive an iPad. In October, the challenge will all have to do with pumpkins. Students will have the opportunity to win prizes based on carving and decorating skills, the amount of pumpkin they can eat and other pumpkin skills. Students with questions are encouraged to stop by the OSA office in UC 104 or visit the website, uccs.edu/OSA.

FUEL UP WITH PREMIUM. NEVADA & AUSTIN BLUFFS

news

October 5 to October 11

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New Campus Safety Report shows increase in drug use Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu Chief of Police Jim Spice said there have been 33 drug violations on campus so far this semester, which, if interpreted as a trend, means 2010 will have more violations of that kind reported than any other year in campus history.

Statistics regarding drug violations can be found in the Campus Safety and Security Report, which is released each fall to inform students of crime and drug rates over the last three years and to provide students with resources.

Under the Clergy Act of 1990, campuses are required to keep and disclose information about crime on the campus. The report covers the last three years and includes information on alcohol, drug use, sexual harassment and safety procedures. This year’s report was released on Friday, Oct. 1 and is available to the public.

During the years covered in the current report, there has been an increase in drug violations reported. In 2007, there were five; in 2008, incidents spiked to 31; and 2009 saw 38. Though the report on 2010 has yet to be published with a complete account, Spice said there have been 33 so far this semester.

Officer Larry Darnall speculated that the increase could be due to the influx of support for marijuana and its use in popular culture, as well as the increased ease of access for medical marijuana licensure.

“Once upon a time, it was a hidden culture,” he said, “Now you see students wearing clothing with the symbol on them. It has become more accepted than when I was in school.”

Spice noted that the majority of complaints received by the Department of Public Safety about marijuana come from other students in the residence halls, athletes and students who are concerned for their scholarships. Spice said that 90 percent of drugs found on campus are marijuana or marijuana-related; the other tenth percentile includes heroine, ecstasy and cocaine.

Though current state law disallows smoking of any kind within 400 feet of public spaces and doorways, until this year, there were no regulations in place to prohibit smoking in the residence halls (Spice noted that “campus leadership is asking to consider making it 1,000 feet from campus. We have a preschool across the street from us and a daycare here”).

In order to make more public the current notolerance policy regarding drugs and narcot-

ics of any kind in the halls, Public Safety introduced the ban to incoming students at orientation.

In spite of these precautions, the residence halls are tricky, said Darnall.

“The ventilation system in housing is all connected, so when we get a call about smoke, it can be difficult to tell where it is coming from. We can’t make contact without probable cause. Students should be aware that we do have a zero-[tolerance] policy on campus, so if we get called, you will get in trouble.”

The punishments for drug use on campus can be severe, up to and including loss of scholarships, expulsion from the University and criminal charges.

“The department wants students to be successful,” stressed Darnall. “We don’t enjoy getting students in trouble. Once they get in trouble there is a chance we might lose them as students and that’s counterproductive to our mission.”

Public safety also encourages students to seek help for themselves and friends. If students feel the need to call and report that they smell smoke they should keep calling and work with housing to try and get moved if necessary.

“Students may come to us for assistance,” Spice added.

“It is our job to help students and our goal to save lives.”

SGA displays club funding in ROAR windows Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu UCCS club funding is connecting to students on a visual level.

Painted in the windows of the ROAR office, six temperature gauges of differing colors represent this year’s six funding periods. The gauges illustrate each period’s allocated money based on predicted levels of club activity during the year.

According to Director of Finance Evan Shelton, the first and fifth funding periods experience the greatest amount of club activity and have been allocated the greatest amounts.

The first period, Aug. 23 through Sept. 30, was allotted $32,000, approximately $16,000 of which was unused.

These funds have since been re-allocated to the current funding period, Oct. 1 through Nov. 22, since there seems to be “the same amount of club activity” during this time.

Club need is also high during the March 1 through Apr. 30 funding period and $21,000

is available during that time for club events, conferences, trips, etc. Shelton emphasized the importance of understanding funding guidelines and fundraising.

“This new process takes longer, so we are encouraging [clubs] to fundraise” as much as possible.

For clubs unfamiliar with this year’s changes, the first step involves filling out a funding proposal form located in the ROAR office. This form asks specific questions and narrows in on the clubs’ funding needs.

Completed forms are then submitted back to the ROAR office and every Tuesday at 6:30 p.m., the five-member Budget Advisory Board meets to review these requests. Members of the club are required at this meeting and a vote will determine the outcome of the funding proposal.

There is only one house meeting a month, and as explained by Shelton, “Clubs don’t have to go. I present all the proposals.”

Depending on when funding

Photo by Ariel Lattimore SGA has painted thermostats on the windows of the ROAR Office to communicate available club funding according to each period.

requests are submitted, it could be nearly a month before funds are allocated. While it does take longer, Shelton has received “some good feedback” and clubs enjoy not having to “wake up for a 9 a.m. house

meeting.”

Shelton noted, “Feel free to ask questions and stop by my office or send me an email at any time.”

Shelton, along with the other members of the Budget Advi-

sory Board, are enthusiastic about the changes and believe it will continue to work well as long as clubs are time sensitive, plan ahead, and put effort into effective fundraising.

S

Campus police get new cars for back pain, four-wheel drive Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

Back pain and a lack of four-wheel drive has driven campus PD to obtain new vehicles.

Due to back pain and a need for fourwheel drive, the UCCS Campus Safety is upgrading its four car fleet.

According to Chief of Police, Jim Spice, “We had several complaints about back issues driving the cars.”

Subsequently, campus safety took the necessary efforts to replace the Toyota Prius Hybrid, first introduced to the fleet last year, with the Toyota Highlander Hybrid.

At this point, Campus Safety is patrolling the grounds with two Priuses

and two Highlanders; their marked car, a Chevy Impala, will remain unchanged.

Attaining the remaining two Highlanders is likely to take until next August as the process is lengthy at best.

The change will cost Campus Safety an additional $5,000 per car, but the benefits to the officers and the students on campus, Spice assured, are invaluable.

According to Spice, the fourcar fleet has historically cost the school greatly in money spent on gas.

Since switching to the Hybrid cars last year, approximately $250 per month in gas money has been saved.

Look

no further

Though some people prefer the primitive triangle eyes and jagged-mouth style, others prefer to add artistic flair to the Halloween pumpkin-carving tradition, complete with creepy scenes of vultures pecking the eyes from a corpse.

Not having carved a pumpkin since I was a dirty snot-nosed child, I am not entirely confident in my carv-

for your

ing abilities and plan to stick to the crude elementary approach with this year’s jack-o’-lantern. To do that, I need the best orange swollen-fruit canvas I can find.

On my search for the perfect pumpkin, I visited Ferarra’s Happy Apple Farm in Penrose and Venetucci Farm in Fountain, two of the most popular and savvy pumpkin-growers in the area.

Happy Apple Farm There once was a man in Sicily named Salvatore, who fell in love with a woman named Etta. Her wealthy family didn’t approve of the union, so he snuck her out of her window, they eloped and he whisked her away to America.

They settled in Sacramento and had seven children. Their youngest son joined the Air Force and was stationed in Colorado. He liked it so much that he decided to stay, and bought the Happy Apple Farm in 1984.

His son, Tony Ferrara, took over the family business after working in the banking business in New Orleans and Dallas. He has been running it for 15 years and loves it.

Ferrara chats happily with every customer at the farm, often giving jams, jellies and marinades to several of them, and exuberantly going on about his business.

Happy Apple Farm is the place to go if you want to pick your own fruit. They grow 14 varieties of apples, blackberries, raspberries, pears and pumpkins.

August is the best month for picking berries; September is best for apples.

“There’s nothing like an apple off a tree,” says Ferrara.

Ferrara jokes that they lose a lot of money to grazers, and ought to put a scale at the entrance to weigh people before and after they go out to pick.

In actuality, however, he encourages grazing. “You’ve got to taste everything,” he says, in order to make sure it’s good.

On an average weekend during prime picking season, they see about 2,000 to 3,000 people per day: They come from all over and they keep coming. Ferrara says that he has had regulars for so long that he’ll see third- and even fourth-generations coming back time and time again.

Dan Kurtz, who has been coming to pick his own fruit ever since he moved to Colorado Springs from Chicago in 1999, says that it’s great because he was always used to farms like this one in the Midwest. “We’re away from home, but not too far from home,” he says.

Jaime Trujillo of Pueblo West has been coming for about five years with his wife and two sons, who he says will eventually eat the farm out of business. He jokes that he will buy the place when Ferrara decides to retire “I don’t think we’d make any money, though,” he said, “We’d just eat it all!”

While the berry bushes and apple trees are picked over and done for the season, the pumpkin patch is bustling. You can walk out to the pumpkin patch yourself, or take a hayride (they’re free). The main pumpkin patch is where you can go pick your pumpkin right from the vine. They also offer a pumpkin patch for kids, where smaller pumpkins have already been picked and laid out in the patch.

When you’re tired from your quest to find the perfect pumpkin, you can head into the country store for some sandwiches, Italian cheese, pumpkin pie, blackberry cobbler or fresh-pressed apple cider. You can also pick up some jam, local honey or roasted chilies that are roasted daily. On weekends, applewood-smoked barbeque brisket, hot dogs and turkey legs are also available.

Every year, there is a Pumpkin Festival in the beginning of September to celebrate the opening of the pumpkin patch. This year, it took place on Sept. 11 and 12. They are considering doing a haunted hayride this year for Halloween, as they’ve done in previous years. They’re also thinking about doing a barbeque cook-off for next year.

While they love putting on events and have done many of them in the past, Ferarra said he’s getting tired and may not do as many in the future.

The picking season and availability of fruit are always dependent on weather and how popular the fields are in any given season, so make sure to check the website before going to make sure that what you are looking for is available. Dogs are always welcome, so don’t forget your furry sidekick.

PerfectPumpkin Story by Cherise Fantus I Photos by Carrie Woodruff

Venetucci Farm Nick Venetucci was a catcher in the minor leagues for the New York Yankees when he decided to return home and help his father on his farm during the Great Depression.

That family farm was where he spent the rest of his life and discovered his passion.

When he was fifty years old, he fell in love with a girl named Bambi. As legend has it, her family didn’t approve, so they waited over 20 years before they were finally married in 1984. After that, they tended the farm together, and started the tradition of generously giving away pumpkins to schoolchildren each year.

Venetucci died in 2004; and in 2006, the farm was donated to Pikes Peak Community Foundation.

In 2007, Susan Gordon and her husband, Patrick Hamilton, took over management of the farm. Before that, they had a small organic farm in Cañon City.

Gordon says that she didn’t always have a passion for gardening, though. It really began when she first had children and she wanted them to have good food. Then she tasted fresh produce from her friend’s garden.

“It tasted too good not to do it myself,” she said. “If you grow it yourself, you know how it’s grown.”

Venetucci Farm grows over 100 different varieties of fruits and vegetables. They sell their produce at farmers’ markets, including the Colorado Farm and Art Market, which is open through Oct. 16 on Wednesdays at America the Beautiful Park and Saturdays at Margarita at Pine Creek.

They also participate in Community Supported Agriculture (CSA), which is a way for the farmer to have a direct relationship with the consumer, and vice versa. The consumer buys a share of the farm at the beginning of the season, and receives a box of produce each week, containing whatever is good that week. “They share in the harvest, but also share in the risk,” said Gordon.

The annual Pumpkins for Kids giveaway, which was started by Venetucci, takes place the first two weeks of October. It is open only to pre-k, kindergarten and first grade classes, on a first-come basis.

Each season, Gordon imposes a limit on the number of children allowed to pick pumpkins.

Because the pumpkin patch was fallow for several years, Gordon, her husband and her staff are still working on bringing it back to full production ability. Providing there are enough pumpkins left after the Pumpkins for Kids giveaway, there will be a public pumpkin patch open from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., starting October 16.

“We just don’t grow the same number of pumpkins as Nick did,” said Gordon.

Along with giving away pumpkins, they also set up educational stations where the kids can learn about soil, composting, animals and shell beans and corn, so they can learn that the farm is more than just pumpkins.

“That’s part of our challenge. We’re trying to expand people’s ideas of what we do here,” Gordon explained.

There is a farm camp for kids in the summer, and field trips occur throughout the season.

Gordon feels it’s important that “kids have a better understanding of where their food comes from,” so they know how to make better food choices.

Gordon wants people to understand what it takes to keep the soil healthy. At Venetucci, the soil is maintained with animal manure, cover crops, composting and crop rotation. They also have cows, pigs and chickens to help improve the soil.

While they have paid employees, they also rely heavily on volunteers. To get more information or to volunteer, visitwww.venetuccifarm.org.

culture

Page 10

October 5 to October 11

The stage that cried ‘wolf:’ Halloween melodrama a success Avalon Manly amanly@uccs.edu There was a small bottle of 12-year-old scotch waiting on director Chris Armbrister’s desk on the opening night of “Werewolves of Poverty Gulch,� the Butte Opera House’s 2010 Halloween melodrama, which began its run last week.

He and playwright Chris Sorensen have been friends for more than 20 years, and upon seeing the congratulatory scotch, both of them laughed and recounted a birthday some time back, which they had celebrated together by sampling variously aged scotches and recounting the circumstances of their lives at the moment when each shot was being made.

As exhibited in their easy conversation and company, Armbrister and Sorensen experience a dynamic of which many theaters are deprived: that is, a close relationship between director and playwright, wherein each can feed off the other and hash out their variant artistic visions to some compromise – which often contributes to producing the best play possible. “It’s like two heads beating together until the best idea wins out,� explained Sorensen, as Amrbsiter nodded agreement.

That method is readily apparent in “Werewolves of Poverty Gulch,� Sorensen’s

fourth Halloween melodrama for the Butte stage and a triumph of subtle – and notso-subtle – wit, masterful acting and a synergy between direction and script that livens every aspect of the show.

Armbrister began as an actor and in 2007, with fellows Mickey Burdick and Mel Moser, founded Cripple Creek’s Thin Air Theatre Company (TATC). Burdick directs many of the summer shows, while Armbrister lives in New York; in turn, Armbrister produces, directs and sometimes co-writes most of the fall and winter plays that cross the Butte’s stage.

Since Armbrister directed “Werewolves,â€? Burdick stars as Lawrence Talbot, resident physician of Poverty Gulch, who becomes entangled in the shady dealings of a band of illicit highwaymen and several incidents of vicious wolf attacks. Together with his fiancĂŠe Irene (played by Susie Young, who also choreographed) and Irene’s exbeau, Nick (Rob Scharlow), Lawrence deposes corrupt ringleader Colonel Harrison (represented by a consistently delightful Mel Moser, whose Southern tones are simultaneously reminiscent of both Colonel Sanders and Foghorn Leghorn). Plot and humor both are augmented by the presence of narcoleptic barmaid Maddie (Rebecca Myers) and bar pianist Max, played by musical director and composer Jamie Mablin,

whose tireless fingers provided the entire show with integral ambience, and whose wordless Max never fails to spur the audience to laughter.

While the plot is not terribly innovative, it serves more as a frame for the antics and talent of the players; and the audience, rather than wearying, experiences the story as a literary device rather than the end in itself. “Werewolves,� as Sorensen intended, is built in waves, with humor interspersed throughout more serious aspects of the plot. It is not, however, a “true Victorian melodrama,� said Armbrister. While the audience members can – and do – cheer hero and boo the villain, the story attempts to stay more true to the spirit than the law of melodrama. As a result, it is possessed of a “melodrama flair,� consistent with the Butte’s theatrical history. “It’s like having family over,� said Sorensen of the sometimes blatantly irreverent audience participation. “Old habits are hard to break; work with them [instead].�

Sorensen and Armbrister have worked for months on “Werewolves,� corresponding mostly by email. Sorensen wrote it as the natural progression of his other Halloween melodramas, “The Vampire of Cripple Creek,� “Dr. Jekyll’s Medicine Show� and “Frankenstein of Cripple Creek.�

He and Armbrister have been collecting books on Cripple Creek and the surrounding region for many years, and play upon that knowledge when creating each story. “How can we tell the stories that we like while tying into the rich history of the region?� Armbrister said of their brainstorming process, mentioning their benign tendency to vilify surrounding areas like Victor, Denver and our own Colorado Springs.

One of the advantages of Sorenson working so closely

with Armbrister and TATC is his chance to write for the Butte and its members, rather than have them alter to suit his work. “Often, I’ll gear toward Mickey [Burdick’s] or Mel [Moser’s] brand of humor. I feel like Mel is one of those old vaudeville actors that can walk on stage and not say anything for two minutes and still keep everybody entertained.�

For Sorenson, the Halloween plays he writes reach all the way back to his childhood. “I grew up watching all the old horror movies,� he said. “I used to sneak out to watch the old black and white Boris Karlovs.� “When you write a show,� noted Sorensen, “you’ve played through the play dozens of times in your head, so I’m a little bored with the play. When I see it for the first time, it’s always a little jarring, because it’s not what I see in my head, but it works.

[The actors] find stuff I never thought was funny, but, dammit, it works.�

While he doesn’t deny the swing of popular culture

might help with the play’s publicity, “Werewolves� is not based in any way on the recent “Twilight� phenomenon. “I’m a huge fan of ‘True Blood,’� he explained, “but I’ve never seen a single ‘Twilight.’�

The play is followed by a Halloween olio, or miscellaneous collection of songs and sketches connected by one overarching theme – in this case, Halloween. The cast spun out a rendition of Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London,� as well as a thrillingly self-aware version of Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper,� complete

with cowbell, and, of course, MJ’s “Thriller,� danced with expert flamboyancy by a white-rhinestone-gloved Susie Young. Burdick’s and Moser’s magic show, too, is not to be missed. “Werewolves of Poverty Gulch� plays through Oct. 30, Thursdays through Saturdays at 7 p.m. and Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 1 p.m. TATC is so small that actors are the entirety of the staff; they man the concession stand, bar and box office as well as run the show.

Tickets range from $9 to $15 and can be purchased online at butteoperahouse.com. S

DON’T BE ALARMED IF YOU GET A WEIRD FEELING IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH AFTER EATING A JIMMY JOHN’S GOURMET SANDWICH.

LOVE CAN OFTEN DO THAT.

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athletics

October 5 to October 11

Page 11

INTRAMURAL MADNESS Guest Column by Ian Richards

A cool fall breeze blows through Mountain Lion Stadium as the lights of the field warm up. Shapes augmented by color are now visible as they run around the field in intricate patterns. The shrill blast of a whistle hits the ears of those within range of the stadium. All this can only mean one thing: UCCS Intramural Flag Football has begun.

With over 30 football

teams, and 20 soccer teams, there are approximately 500+ students participating in UCCS Intramurals this fall. It is safe to say that this is another successful season for intramural sports.

With three nights of flag football and one night a week of soccer, intramurals fills Mountain Lion Stadium most evenings of the week. But UCCS did not always have this

strength in numbers currently enjoyed by students and staff.

In fact, the intramural program here at UCCS used to be almost non-existent.

In 2001, there were eight total teams for flag football, eight! Games were played on the outfield of the softball field and there was one football that had to be shared by teams.

The field was marked with cones, and followed

the shape of the outfield, making the field have a nice arc to it. Fortunately, the secret about intramurals is out. Not only is participating in intramural sports fun, it’s healthy, too. Getting out and playing a sport is a great way to stay on the road towards living a healthier lifestyle.

What better way to take a break from studying than to go down to Mountain Lion Stadium for some

fun recreation. Participation in intramurals is a great way to hang out with friends and learn about a sport in a safe, fun and competitive environment.

As a departmental goal, UCCS Intramurals want to increase community involvement at UCCS, while improving student health.

So come down to Mountain Lion Stadium Monday through Thursday

to check out some flag football or soccer. Teams can still pick up players until the playoffs, so ask around and try to get on a team. If not, then be sure to get involved in the next seasons on the schedule: volleyball, basketball and dodgeball. Registrations for these sports are due Oct. 20. Meanwhile, enjoy the turning leaves, midterms and the crisp fall air. S

Why We Play “Football has always been a passion of mine and I didn’t know if I would ever get to play it again after high school but intramurals has given me another opportunity.”

“We play to dominate. It’s nice to not be a freshman and get killed. Our strategy is to just wing it. We rely on our athleticism and talent. It never fails.”

“We’re going to let our D set the tone and hope our offense can be steady.”

“To go out, be able to compete with teams and have fun”

“It’s always a good time and the competition is actually really good”

“They gave us a pretty good whopping in week one.”

Photos by Ariel Lattimore

7 v 7 flag football players in defensive position, ready to protect their flags and stiff arm the defense if necessary

athletics October 5 to October 11

Page 12

UCCS Soccer: Two different stories Alex Cramer

acramer@uccs.edu The women’s soccer team cotinued their dominance on Friday night with an impressive 3-0 shutout against the Colorado Christian Cougars, improving their record to 6-3.

Three different Mountain Lions scored in a true team effort while freshman goalkeeper Kelly Schroeder picked up her third shut out of the season.

It was a dominating performance from start to finish for UCCS as they kept possession of the ball really well and consistently attacked the CCU defense. Starting the strong effort was junior Julia Saenz who broke away from defend-

ers for a goal in the seventh minute.

“We came out really hard cause my coach stressed we couldn’t come out slow,” said Saenz. “There aren’t any easy games and every team is a good team now, so I think we all did a really good job of coming out hard.”

The three goals that were scored also pushed the team’s season total to 23, breaking the previous record season total of 21.

Third year coach Nichole Ridenour has the team one win shy of reaching 2009’s win total with over half of the schedule remaining.

“We played really well, last weekend we had trouble with keeping our game, keeping our composure and staying consistent but this game

we did that throughout the entire game,” said Ridenour. “Even when CCU got momentum it wasn’t because we were lacking, it was because they got momentum, so I thought my team played very well in keeping their maturity and keeping their composure.”

While the team has to be pleased with their record at this point they know they could just as easily be 8-1, losing two of their games by only a goal. Second half let downs have been something the team has addressed lately in order to stay on top after getting a early lead.

“One of the things that we’ve been doing is getting ahead and then we back off, and then they even it out we get ahead again and we back off,”

No lip service here: Michael Vick’s actions speak louder than words Matt Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu The road to redemption is much like the road to forgiveness: It’s a oneway street and as of late, Michael Vick has proven just that.

Just a few short years ago as the public commenced to see Vick’s face plastered all over the media in all of its different outlets for the ‘Puppy Massacre of 2007’ (I reckon that’s what history books will call it), we began to label the man as an icon of hate and complete utter disgust. Here was another star athlete following a growing trend of the decade past to veer off a road which would have, ultimately, led him to immortality and possibly the hall of fame.

Another one appeared to have bit the dust.

And, to add insult to injury, we live in a society that deems celebrities and athletes as guilty until proven innocent in the court of law; it’s the reason we stare at a car accident as we pass by somewhat meticulously and curiously. It may have nothing to do with us, yet we want to know what happened and what is being done about it.

It’s almost like Americans have some defec-

tive subset genetic code engrained into our DNA that causes, no, hypnotizes us, to be attracted to scandals, lies and betrayal. I admit it, I would much rather stay tuned into breaking coverage about Lindsey Lohan’s 47th probation violation than flip on C-SPAN and listen to an over paid and under-minded House of Congress discuss why my generation will not have Social Security when we retire.

That’s life, folks.

But it’s only in the rarest of occasions that we see someone flip the script, pay their dues and return to living a life and playing a game based on a simple formula of just doing the next right thing.

And, be humble and sincere at the same time while doing it. Michael Vick is in the process of doing just that.

Here is a guy who committed an atrocious crime, to say the least, and took responsibility for his actions across the board. Vick was sentenced to prison, stripped of his millions of dollars in endorsements and contract deals, a prized occupation as an NFL quarterback and forced to pay restitution and bear the Scarlet Letter ‘D’ for dog murderer amongst the na-

tion’s patrons. Whatever divine intervention or collect-call Michael Vick received during his sabbatical from the world, something clicked.

His season statistics speak for themselves. In his new starting quarterback role for the Philadelphia Eagles Vick is beginning to bring attention to the fact that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but at the same time, you just have to shut up and do work when you mess up.

We all fall victim to the temptation of allowing our mouths to make promises that our actions can’t cash. Sure, there are and may always be those who will not forgive or forget what Vick has done. That is their choice, however. Some may choose to maintain the resentment and the hatred and remain under the illusion that by drinking the poison themselves, the other person will die.

Vick is on the road to redemption and his outstanding play early in the season is putting critics and haters alike in check.

As long as he plays well, follows the rules and leaves it on the field, there is no limit to what this guy will achieve.

Michael Vick, welcome back to the NFL.

said Ridenour.

It’s been a very different story for the UCCS men’s soccer team this season. While they’ve been competitive in all their recent contests they just cannot seem to catch enough breaks to snap the losing streak. The team played Fort Lewis College Sept. 26, losing by only one to the Division II defending national champions. Defensively you can’t ask for much more allowing one goal to a high-powered team like FLC. Offensively UCCS matched FLC shot for shot with attempts on goal but failed to capitalize on any of them.

Hard work is something the men’s team hasn’t lacked while they try to find their next win.

The next home game is Oct. 17.

Photo Courtesy of gomountainlions.com

Junior Julia Saenz attacks the goal against the Colorado Christian Cougars

Golf second at NSIC/RMAC Crossover Matt Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu Despite not playing as well as they did at the Falcon Invitational two weeks ago, the men’s golf team still came away with a second place finish at the NSIC/RMAC Crossover at the Wildhorse Golf Course in Gothenburg, Nebraska Sept. 26 to 27. Conference rival Fort Lewis inched atop the leader board to win the tournament and edged UCCS by seven strokes, shooting a team score of 867, while UCCS finished at 874.

“We didn’t play well at all as a team at the Crossover,” commented Coach Phil Trujillo. “The guys knew what they had to do and they just didn’t do it.”

UCCS played consistently in the first and final round of the tournament recording scores of 290 which was better than Fort Lewis’ scores of 292 and 298, respectively. Fort Lewis’s impressive second round score of 277 proved to be too much for the Mountain Lions to catch up to.

“Fort Lewis has a few D-I transfers and they put together a very good second round and we didn’t,” said Trujillo. “We beat them two out of the three rounds but their 11 under in round two was too much for us to make up.”

Seniors Riley Andrews and Chris Shoop led the team, contributing

with scores of 214 and 216, overall. Andrews managed to shoot a respectable two-under par and Riley finished at even. Sophomore Spencer Biersdorff finished at a 221, only five-over par, while senior Brian Morfeld and junior Michael Tilghman supported the team with scores of 224, eight-over par and 231, 16over par scores, respectively.

The Crossover tourney was the second of four that will determine the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference championship, which is currently an honor held by UCCS the past five years. After the first two tournaments, UCCS and Fort Lewis are tied with 17 points each while CSU-Pueblo resides in third place with 12 points. Trailing the leaders includes Colorado Mines at 11; Mesa State and Western New Mexico remain tied with nine points apiece.

The Mountain Lions will finish the final day of play today at the Grand Canyon Fall Invitational in Phoenix.

Coach Trujillo’s confidence remains positive that the team should come home with good results, saying, “We’ve been playing in the Grand Canyon event for many years and enjoy the golf course. I think we’ll bounce back and put together some good rounds and play better as a team.”

The fall portion of the season will conclude for the men’s golf team at Silver City, N.M. as they compete in The Cactus Thaw Oct. 18 and 19.

opinion October 5 to October 11

Page 13

The opportunity to genetically up your GPA

Jasen Cooper jcooper2@uccs.edu Researchers at Emory University School of Medicine have found a gene which seems to make mice dumber, according to a Medical Daily article released on Sept. 18. The scientists were able to deactivate a gene, technically named RGS14 but jokingly referred to by the researchers as the “Homer Simpson Gene,” in lab mice and then test their cognitive abilities.

Mice without the gene were better able to escape a water maze, and were able to recognize objects that they had previously interacted with in their cages.

With this development, scientists think they have found a potential step toward enhancing intelligence. Ostensibly, if there were a way

to deactivate this gene in people, we would see an increase in learning and retention abilities.

Scientists aren’t sure yet what the long-term consequences of deactivating the gene will be, but the part of the brain affected by it is known to control some aspects of social behaviors.

Problems in the CA2 region of the brain, where the RGS14 gene is usually activated, have been linked to schizophrenia.

The important question, if scientists are ever able to implement this gene deactivation in humans, is whether or not they should.

Arguably, smarter people would lead to progress in many areas of society, and certainly would be an overall social good, as long as the government wasn’t attempting some “1984”-esque takeover of the stupid masses.

But if we had to trade not being schizophrenic in order to be smarter, would that be a worthy trade-off?

If everyone were given some sort of gene inhibitor, increasing the amount of information we can learn and retain, but also causing mass

schizophrenia, would science not just create better schizophrenia drugs? Then, when whatever terrible sideeffect of the schizophrenia medication becomes readily apparent, we can make drugs to counter those, thus creating a sort of daisy chain of science in order to progress civilization.

The use of mental stimulants like Ritalin is currently illegal without the proper prescription, although students often acquire and use them for that “extra edge” while studying. Would a genealogical stimulant like deactivating the RGS14 gene be considered ethical, by those standards?

Or, if such a procedure became commonplace, would drugs which accomplish similar results become legal to use?

And what if the procedure is widely available but not very affordable? Those capable of enhancing their genetic makeup would be given an advantage academically, furthering the gaps currently seen between economic classes. Refusing to implement procedures like this which could generate substantial benefits because of

preferred mesh basketball shorts that hung comfortably below my knees. I liked to keep my hair up and out of my face. The only “cool” clothing item I had in 7th grade was a maroon Roxy hoody that I wore almost every day.

I chose sports bras over push-up bras and I was proud of my flatchested figure. I owned only a few tank tops and the majority of these collected dust in the back of my closest. Bare skin was disallowed in my house, and while I may say this jokingly now, the truth is, my father was a clothing Nazi.

Luckily, I have since rebelled, as most children do who were the high school goody 2-shoes, and I am free to wear short shorts and relatively “skimpy” tank tops. Nonetheless, my upbringing has not left me without reservations.

Katy Perry’s cleavage recently debuted on and was consequently can-

celled by Sesame Street.

In hindsight, I think my dad was on to something when he pushed for turtlenecks over low-cut shirts.

Perry’s youtube video was not titillating, it was disturbing. Has the “I Kissed a Girl” star moved on to sticky faced four-year olds?

I surely hope not.

Regardless, her lack of decency on a children’s television show, an educational program for that matter, should not be used in replacement of Sex 101. While I am no prude, and I understand that children are deluged with commercials that objectify both men’s and women’s bodies, Sesame Street should be safe from the likes of Katy Perry’s breasts—especially if children haven’t been weaned yet.

I support Sesame Street’s decision to cancel Perry’s clip with Elmo. Although the top was actually just fleshcolored fabric, as point-

Photo courtesy of energyburrito.com

“What are we going to do tonight, Brain?”“The same thing we do every night, Pinky: induce mass schizophrenia across the human race.”

social reasons seems foolhardy; essentially we would be retarding the growth of human potential because not everyone would have that potential. The bleeding heart liberal within me wants to say it wouldn’t be fair for the have-nots, but at the same time I can’t help but think of all those birds in the Galapagos who were able to eat certain seeds while their fellow birds starved

(if I may oversimplify the complex process of evolution).

I am all for genetic enhancement, as long as the cost is minimal. If we could all breathe underwater and run marathons without breaking a sweat, I don’t see why we shouldn’t. I am also, of course, pro-steroid and stimulant use, as I always like things better, faster and stronger. And once the select few who

can afford such things do implement them, surely innovation will happen and it will become more widely available.

It’s simple trickledown biogenetics. Just remember that when the race riots of 2022 break out, pitting the genetically engineered superhumans against their weaker ancestors, I’m rooting for the ones with lasers protruding from the hippocampus. S

ed out by TMZ, her attempt at modesty shakes me, kinda like if a rabid dog was suddenly chasing me down an ominous alley and my only hopes for survival would be to turn, throw my right forearm over my face and kick out in animalistic rage.

To mock the incident further, Perry wore an Elmo t-shirt on the season premier of ‘Saturday Night Live.’ Appearing on the ‘Bronx Beat’ sketch with Amy Poe-

hler and Maya Rudolph, Perry played Maureen, a young teen whose summer development is very noticeable, or at least in Elmo’s case. “Remember when Jerry Lewis had to take all those steroids and his head blew up?

That’s what Elmo’s head looks like,” explained Poehler. The skit continues with Perry bouncing joyously on the couch as she attempts to explain her bodily changes.

Although I found this skit humorous, I can’t

help but think she took it a cup size too far. I could handle her bra shooting whipped cream in her music video for “California Gurls,” but since when does Elmo need to be de-faced, literally, to make a point? And what is her point? That all children should be free to look at and drool, whether inadvertently or not, over her impressive rack? If so, I think we have a bigger problem on our hands than her oversized boobs. S

Katy Perry exposes herself...again

Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu In grade school I followed the dress code with a seriousness that brought a smile to my parent’s faces and ensued a snicker from the 17-year old looking 6th graders I called my classmates. I believed a disregard of the rules would land me in the town jail or in a cardboard box adjacent to the grocery store.

I rarely wore skirts; I spit on dresses and I gagged when in close proximity to high heeled shoes. Yes, I was that girl.

I was an athlete; I

opinion October 5 to October 11

Page 14

Exercise: A thing of the past, unlike government regulation

Stephen Farrell sfarell@uccs.edu “Would you like some more government regulation with that?”

As if it wasn’t already bad enough that the government is going to tell you that you must purchase a product (health insurance) or be fined, now First Lady Michelle Obama is putting the heat on restaurants to serve foods with less butter and fewer fries in a campaign to create a healthier America.

According to TheBlaze. com, she actually went so far as to recommend that restaurants start serving apple and carrot slices as alternative side dishes to kids’ menus.

And I think back to my own childhood as a

restless, obnoxious eightyear-old in love with snack foods like “Dunkaroos” and “Zebra Cakes,” I would have head-butted the stomach of the first Burger King employee who even so much as joked about serving celery sticks in place of my chicken nuggets. Ah, the fond memories of a lost innocent childhood so long ago.

Yes, I was a little ****.

Though Obama’s practice of sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong in regards to the restaurant industry and telling them what they should serve is quite absurd in itself, her intentions are not unfounded.

It is a fact that childhood obesity has reached staggering rates. According to the Center for Disease Control, 19.6 percent of all adolescents ranging from ages 12 to 19 are obese; so there is an obvious problem here. But to point fingers at the restaurant industry for continuing to make the very foods that we as consumers de-

mand is just beyond silly.

The fact is that restaurants are not the ones to blame for childhood obesity in America but rather a diminishing sense of moral duty of the part of parents of newer generations when it comes to educating their children on proper eating and exercise habits. Heck, when I was kid it wasn’t even an issue where you had to think twice when it came to exercise; I’d come home, do my homework, then go outside and play physically unsafe games like “Road Rash” on my bicycle with all the other neighborhood boys, or climb a ridiculously high tree while getting yelled at by local parents. When I was a kid, going outside and playing were a new adventure every day, and staying inside didn’t even occur to me and my friends; and even when it did, I was given the boot and sent out the door anyway.

Today, however, it’s a different story. Now we have XBOX Live, digital cable, on-demand mov-

Photo Courtesy of bangellsrants.blogspot.com

There was nothing Michelle Obama could do about this one. ies, World of War Craft, extra-cushy Lazy Boy recliners, and it seems comfort is only becoming more a novelty by the day. It’s only a matter of time before some genius out at MIT successfully develops the first remote control that walks to you on its own legs, instead of you staring at it forlornly as it lies just out of reach.

Just wait: it is coming.

There is without a doubt a growing emphasis on leisure before work

throughout our society.

This way of thinking is, of course, optional, and that’s where the simple idea of old-fashioned good parenting comes into play. If a parent allows their child to partake in all the aforementioned past-times at the child’s desire, that child will become lazy; they will become disengaged from hard work and they will become fat.

Government intervention into one more private industry on the already

mounting heap of others (healthcare and banking, to name a couple) to help quell the problem of childhood obesity is not the solution. The only thing that it does accomplish is creating even more government regulation which has already been on the rise in this country at an alarming rate.

Morals and proper parenting are the solutions.

That having been said, Mrs. Obama, stay out of my cheese fries. S

Tea Party: I think that makes you a racist, like Glenn Beck

J.P. Niehaus jniehaus@uccs.edu “Mohawks all rally your axes tell King George we’ll pay no taxes!”

On Dec. 16, 1773, the Sons of Liberty snuck onto a British Merchant Ship and dumped its tea into Boston Harbor, chanting that phrase dressed as Mohawk Indians. They were protesting the British government for the right to have a voice in their own governing bodies.

Fast forward to today.

A group calling themselves the Tea Party Movement is staining the memory of that righteous night when Americans first stood up for their rights. The movement has been shown to have racist and discriminating images and rhetoric in their so-

called rallies and protest.

But here’s the kicker: The Ku Klux Klan had marches too. They have shown images of President Obama as a tribal leader in a grass skirt with a bone through his nose.

Every American has the right speak up and demand change within their government but showing racism isn’t the way you go about it. Yes, it’s their right but it’s also the right of every equalitarian-minded citizen in America to stand up to that kind of hate and let it be known that it is not acceptable.

And to those in the Tea Party that are not racist, you are the company you keep. By associating with them, you are going to get labeled that way. So either move on or get over it.

Another problem with the Tea Party is the creation and support of zealots like this character Glenn Beck. His own website, glennbeck.com, professes him to be an entertainer: his slogan reads, “The Glenn Beck Program: The Fusion of Entertainment and Enlightenment.”

Well, watching a movie with a train wreck in it is entertaining, too, but it doesn’t mean I am going to trust it to give me reliable information.

Beck’s charisma is unquestioned, but enlightenment may be just a step too far. Hitler thought he was enlightened, but that didn’t make him right, did it?

We know that charismatic leaders can be a good thing, but watch more than five painful minutes of Beck’s televised rants and you will think he is the one that flew over the cuckoo’s nest. He talks about restoring America – somebody please get this guy into a proper history class, because he doesn’t know what he is talking about most of the time.

He shields himself by saying he wants to get back to the way America was and how our founding fathers created this country, but he obviously doesn’t know a thing about the history of these United States. George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and the rest of our founding fathers

Photo Courtesy of Chattahbox.com

“What do you mean Stephen Colbert’s rally is going to have more people attend than mine did?!” must be rolling around in bunch of pissed off people linger toward the center. their graves listening to waving signs and racial I am not saying that evthe yammering of the Tea slurs; that’s inexcusable eryone has to agree with Party and Glenn Beck. and it’s not the America I President Obama or any If a political movement want to live in. other politician, for that wants to affect change in Blending hatred with matter. I am saying that if the U.S. and be taken se- a political message only you want to see change, riously while doing it, serves to alienate and in- it’s fine to protest, picket, they should have the self cense. The kind of pro- rally or march. respect and dignity to do paganda spewed by Beck But when you do it, do it in a manner that will and the Tea Party makes it in good taste, in a manactually see change hap- their messages ineffec- ner that will have future pen. They should do it in tual because one wants to generations proudly saymanner that is respectful, sort through the anger of ing, “Yeah, that’s my Dad coherent and is not just a it to find what truth might or Mom.” S

the

Scribble

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.”

-Student Press Law Center

Free speech for $10.79 Jasen Cooper

jcooper2@uccs.edu The student bookstore has begun selling miniature replicas of UCCS’s mountain lion statue, to be used to erect portable free-speech zones.

Traditionally, all protests or other demonstrations of free speech were to be contained to the Lower Plaza outside of the University Center, within a certain radius of the statue.

However, due to pressure from the U.S. Constitution, school officials have decided that free speech should be available anywhere on campus.

Instead of rewriting existing campus policies, the officials have decided to simply add a clause to account for the new statu-

ettes and sell them in the bookstore for just under $11. The miniatures, produced by a local ceramics company, are exact scale replicas of the original statue, including a small base which resembles the surrounding courtyard.

Instructions included with each miniature statue indicate that they are valid for use anywhere on campus, except where all speech is prohibited, as in the library and all men’s restrooms.

Anyone within a onemeter radius of the statuette will be able to speak his or her mind, although each person within said radius must take turns speaking. Chanting of any sort is still prohibited, unless it is quiet and accompanied with monastic attire.

Students campaigning for free speech while riding the original statue were underwhelmed by the policy change, apparently hoping for some more substantial change.

“I can’t protest while carrying around a stupid statue,” one commented, while others murmured agreement.

Across campus, Laura Leech was very excited by the new policy and statues. “Would you like to take a moment to save the environment?” was all she was able to comment, despite repeated requests for an actual interview. Before the interview attempt could conclude, Leech tackled a passing freshman and began extracting credit card information from his spinal column.

Two baby squirrels then

Photo courtesy of layeredbyte.com

Part of the reason for the change to campus free speech policy was the enduring plight of white, middle-class men, who have been oppressed for generations.

A life game-changer

Jasen Cooper jcooper2@uccs.edu

OSA’s board game night took a strange turn last week when a student found the introspection provided by a game of “I’ve Never” to be too much for her fragile ego.

Summer Johnson, a transfer student from CU Boulder, realized after her twentieth shot of fruit punch that her life has been far too wild.

“I’m drinking for everything!” she exclaimed while looking around the group of her peers for a glimmer of comfort.

When no one commented, she became exasperated.

She put on a pouty face and said “I feel like such a slut,” then promptly left the group to reassess her life path while brooding in the corner.

Afterward, rumors are that Johnson changed majors and broke up with her boyfriend. She has declined comment, but has been seen wearing very unflattering clothing while looking through flyers for clubs. She allegedly indicated to her roommate that sorority life has corrupted her, and that she needs to find a more wholesome way to spend her time.

Photo Courtesy of thegirlisamom.com

We had lots of jokes about the Game of Life, but we decided not to run them because we didn’t think any of you would understand them.

This incident preceded a mental breakdown by local junior Joe Johnson (no relation), who was playing Life at a nearby table.

“When I go to college I always lose!” he exclaimed before flipping over the game board.

“I’ve spent two years at this place and I’m probably never going to get a job. I have all these loans, and in three turns I’m going to get married and have a kid. This is insane.

The kid’s driving the car, for God’s sake!”

He then began weeping

TOP TEN

appeared out of thin air, as the freshman’s $5 a month immediately stopped global warming. S

in the fetal position and had to be carried out of the University Center by two members of the campus police. Counseling services will now be available during every board game night, though the next one has been postponed until further notice. S

ways to decide your major

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

VAPA: I have talent and am willing to give the term “starving artist” all the show it deserves.

PGM: Well, my GPA sucks but my golf swing is great.

Business: I have no idea what to do with my life but I guess money is good.

Math: Someone has to teach math to all the eager high school students out there.

I’m one of ten students who understand and/or enjoy it.

English: “What do you do with a B.A. in English, What is my life going to be? Four years of college and plenty of knowledge have earned me this useless degree.”

Anthropology: If it has nothing to do with people, I don’t understand it.

Engineering: I always built the best Lego structures as a child.

Nursing: 7:30 a.m. labs are my fav and I can handle blood, crying children and 17-hour shifts without breaks.

Biology: I enjoy science but can’t solve chemistry problems.

Communication: I can’t do math and can’t pass biology but I can talk to people.

-Catherine Jensen

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