Dec. 14, 2010

the

Scribe

December 14 to January 24, 2010 [Volume 35. Issue 15]

Fresh Tracks The best skiing close to home (Pages 8-10)

Inside this issue...

“Journey with the Poor� (Page 5)

McDaniels fails the Broncos (Page 12)

Winter theatre preview (Page 7)

editorial

Page 2

December 14 to January 24

I’ll be home for Christmas

Editor-in-Chief Avalon Manly College was the first chance for many of us to discover who we are.

Some of us left home for life at UCCS; others still exist in the homes of our families; not a few have families of their own.

But however it happened for you, your journey into and through college has helped you form your own identity. It has given us a chance to decide what we believe, what we will do with our lives and skills and what we want out of our time on this earth.

Who we are is first established in the homes where we are raised. That identity is the foundation of our lives. When we attend college, the combination of academic and social expansion challenges the notions we have of ourselves. We are forced to recreate our identities; to adapt, adjust, reform.

That’s not to say that we lose who we are. On the contrary, I think that we often become solidified in the person we were, and college provides the trial by fire required of all the best enduring aspects of people.

The holidays, however, bring a different challenge.

They’re when we go home.

College becomes our life, we find comfort in who we are here, and we begin to forget that we were ever any different.

When the holidays come around and we’re

suddenly expected to spend amazing amounts of time with our families, our safe college identity wavers, and we begin to revert.

In the company of the ones who raised us, who taught us who we are, we somehow forget what we’ve learned and decided and fall back into the roles we held before: the unquestioning child, the non-confrontational helper, the bickering sibling.

We’ve spent our lives learning how to play certain roles in our relationships with our families, and no matter how much time we spend away learning to be someone more independent or different or new, when placed back in the closed system of our homes, it becomes simpler to revert to the play we’ve rehearsed so many times before than to retain our college selves.

That’s not to say that we’re different people at home or on campus, though I’m sure some of us are; rather, we are different versions of the same person, each conforming to a relational dynamic we’ve more than memorized.

Anthropologically speaking, this is a very relevant adaptive technique. We grew up fulfilling a certain function in our home; I was the youngest, the one who tried to keep everyone happy, who talked a lot and bonded easily. You may have had a different role, but we all had one, and by playing out our parts, we managed to assist in stabilizing the relationships in our families.

We helped to achieve balance in our households.

We felt useful – more than that, we felt needed, because we were. Without us, the give and take, the daily interactions among the people we love would have been different.

By fulfilling our childhood roles, we affected

our world, and that answers to one of the basest human needs. Our entire development is centered on learning how to effectively manipulate our surroundings.

When we return home, then, something in us forgets all the different ways we’ve sought to define ourselves at college. We become again the children who washed the dishes, or served coffee, or made our parents laugh, or rough-housed with our brothers and sisters.

We are no longer the young adults who attend class, hold discussions, break cultural ground and just generally adhere to the Zeitgeist of our demographic. When we go home for Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever holiday you and your family celebrate, we recall from our pasts the people we forgot we were.

In many instances, this reversion may feel awkward or unwelcome. It may make us feel young or unformed or inadequate.

But I don’t think it’s any of those things. Falling again into the roles of our youths allows us the chance to make sure who we are really aligns with who we want to be; it also provides us the chance to witness the evolution of our interactions with our families, as we begin to learn how to exist with our parents on equal footing rather than as children and adults.

When we go home for Christmas, we do more than enter the abode of our families: We revert to Christmases past, when we were someone else, and we are given the chance to revise who we choose to be, as we move toward the rest of our lives.

I hope you enjoy this holiday season with your family. Merry Christmas, UCCS. S

Letter to the editor

Is it helping improve readership?

I realize that you are trying to display neutrality, but I have to say something about “To Hell With Your ‘Political Correctness’” by S. Farrell. I’m not a fan of political correctness, nor am I a very politically correct person, but I think he misses the point, which,

sadly, no one will explain to him. When people say that “Muslims killed us on 9/11,” they imply that being a Muslim and being an American are mutually exclusive. This is what offends me. I am offended by the implication that is being made that only Christians

are Americans. Thank you.

Thomas DiModica P.S. If “Muslims killed us,” then the speaker would have been killed and would be unable to make such a statement, logically speaking.

the scribe The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs

Editor-in-Chief.........................................Avalon Manly Managing Editor........................................Jessica Lynch Business Manager.....................................John Christian Advertising/Sales Manager..........................Luis Hidalgo News Editor.........................................Catherine Jensen Culture Editor.........................................Brock Kilgore Athletics Editor......................................Matt Crandall Opinion/Scribble Editor...........................Cherise Fantus Photograhy Editor.................................Ariel Lattimore Copy Editor.............................................Cherise Fantus Web Master.............................................Dorian Rogers Video Master............................................Joseph Ruffini Layout Designer...........................................J.D. Osorio Reporters...................................................Alex Cramer ............................................................Ryan Piechowski Photographers.....................................Carrie Woodruff ...........................................................Chelsea Bartlett .............................................................Michelle Wood Junior Reporters.........................................Amanda Putz ................................................................Kristin Garst .................................................................Sara Horton ...................................................................Amy Koumis ...................................................................Ryan Adams ...............................................................Corey Mensing .....................................................Wellington Mullings ..............................................................Jeremy Lengele Junior Photographer...................................Brett Owens Contributors...........................................Steven Farrell Cartoonist............................................................Arno Distributor...........................................Donald Trujillo Advisor.....................................................Laura Eurich ----------------Cover photo by Brett owens------------------The Scribe UC 106 (719) 255-3658 | (719) 255-3469 | (719) 255-3600 www.uccsscribe.com | scribe.eic@gmail.com

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December 14 to January 24

student life

all aboard

the

failboat

Page 3

Man found twirling the perpetual forbidden wand At the premier of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows,” young fans sported striped scarves, forehead scarves and makeshift wands. Most of them even had pants on. For a South Carolina man with a little too much time on his hands, “Harry Potter” proved the perfect venue to arrest the joyous snake, or in other words, masturbate. According to the South Carolina Police Department, the man was found in the backseat of the film at approximately 1:10 p.m. After the man was spotted playing the forbidden ivory mushroom, he was identified as Alexander Ofner, age 39. He was consequently arrested for indecent exposure and transferred to the Beaufort County Detention Center to await bond hearing.

I think the answer you’re looking for is “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”

End on a High Note Well, here we are...the end of the semster. Is that the same headline from last week? Why, yes. Yes it is. Why? Well, that’s because our fearless leader, Avalon Manly, decided not to write anything for this box this week. Leaving her tired layout designer (that’s me) and tired Managing Editor (that’s Jess) to fumble with this box minutes before our deadline. Thanks Avalon. This one’s for you.

-JD Osorio

Nursultan Nazarbayev, president of Kazakhstan, has decided that 19 years of power is not nearly enough.

Nazarbayev, 70, has charged a new research institute in Kazakhstan’s capital, Astana, with the task of creating the elixir of life. Their job is to research the “rejuvenation of the organism…the human genome, production of human tissue and creation of gene-based medicines” Nazarbayev said of the project, “People of my age are really hoping all of this will happen as soon as possible.”

This new quest for the Fountain of Youth stems from last month, when a Korean delegate suggested Nazarbayev stay in power until 2020, to which Nazarbayev replied, “Maybe, then, you’ll offer me an elixir of youth and energy – maybe you have such potions in Korea …

I’m willing to go on until 2020, just find me an elixir.”

FTW

The Scribe’s Untraditional Holiday Advice

By Jessica Lynch and Sara Horton START

news

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December 14 to January 24

UC to undergo changes next semester Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu The University Center (UC) will be undergoing renovations next semester to enhance its aesthetic appeal and create a more inclusive, welcoming environment. The information desk and game room will be upgraded and new carpet and paint are to be added throughout the building. Additionally, the UC conference rooms will be turned into smart classrooms to eliminate the use of wheel projectors.

UC space and Adhoc Committee Kristina Achey, student body president, is working with SGA and administration to use the available space in the best possible way.

The Adhoc Committee, a special committee appropriated by Achey, was designed to focus specifically on this project. The committee started in early October and meets weekly to discuss current issues and ideas to better use campus space.

Achey said the committee would like to see a women’s center, a space for non-traditional students and a larger space for LGBT students in the UC. It has been suggested that the conference rooms near Clyde’s be divided into these spaces.

“I think one of the best things student government has done was having the ROAR office renovated,” said Achey. She continued, “Students are in here all the time and the space is inviting and they have room to work.”Achey added that she and the Adhoc Committee would like to see more space like the ROAR office on campus.

Danielle Norris, chair of the Adhoc Committee, encourages students to attend the meetings on Thursdays at 7:15 p.m. in the ROAR office. The next meeting will be held Jan. 20.

“All are welcome. We’d like to hear from as many students as possible,” she said. Achey emphasized that it will ultimately be up to the students to decide what appears where and students should expect to see surveys with these questions next semester.

She did caution students to remember that it isn’t possible for everyone to have

Photo by Brett Owens

Because we have no idea where this photo was taken, and because we didn’t run a sudoko/crossword this week, the first person to bring this photo back with the location and a map on how to get there wins a $5 Jives gift certificate.

their own office, but the renovations should help gain and use space for the betterment of campus. “We have to claim the spaces that are supposed to be for us, like in the UC.” Changes still needed

Samantha Villarreal, program assistant for the UC, said that she believes spaces in the UC are being used more than they have been in the past. She spoke of the ROAR office and the area with the pool tables by Clyde’s as beneficial uses of space.

Still, though, the set up is not perfect and could benefit from some change, she added. “The bookstore, to me, is not very inviting.

We could do a lot to open it up, like knocking down the front walls, and removing the giant reference desk from the middle of the room. It is just blocking students from getting to what they need.” She also said she would like to see more comfy chairs to lounge in and make the student radio and the Scribe offices more visible.

Anthony Cordova, director of the Mosaic office, would like to see changes made to the southwest entrance near the office.

According to Associate Vice Chancellor for Administration and Finance Susan Szpyrka, an idea is to replicate the glass tower

in the entrance of the UC on a smaller scale to create a more open entrance.

Though it may take awhile for the Adhoc Committee’s plans to take root anytime soon, Szpyrka did confirm that changes will be made to the information desk, carpet and paint will be redone and that the current conference rooms will be later made into smart classrooms to eliminate the use of wheel projectors.

On a positive note, while some students say they find little going on in the conference rooms of the UC, according to Szpyrka, from August to May of last year, student clubs reserved 3,723 hours of meeting time in the UC conference rooms. Offcampus groups reserved 184 bookings, 13 of which were groups from the CU system.

Trending spaces Jeff Davis, director of the University Center, was the National Chair at this year’s National Association of College Auxiliary Services (NACAS) Conference which was held in Colorado Springs in November. NACAS brings together staff from around the world (this year included staff from Australia and Canada) to participate in sessions on everything from how to keep a bookstore to emergency servic-

es on campus.

According to Davis, the biggest trend at this year’s conference was that, “Institutions are requesting higher budget revenues from auxiliary operations to support academic missions.” Davis said that looking at campus space involves discovering how to balance: when to bring in what will provide revenue and what will be a student social service.

Past changes

Creating new space requires collaborative input and multiple ideas, expressed Szpyrka. The moving of the copy center, for instance, began with talking to multiple leaders in the UC, including faculty and former SGA president and vice-president, Daniel Garcia and James Burge.

Before making final decisions about the copy center, she said she communicated directly and repeatedly with student representatives to ensure the majority approved of the decision.

“Really the only way to reach all students is through their representatives,” she said. Gathering student input for the copy center and Clyde’s included surveys and focus groups, shared Szpyrka.

She also spoke of the renovation of other spaces, like housing. A couple of

years ago, she said, RHAs and RAs came together with administration to discuss what they would like to see in housing. The RAs and RHAs made a list of the things that were most important to them, the top two items being new carpet in Summit and having something done about the grass outside.

Spaces paying rent

Clyde’s, the bookstore, the Copy Center and ENT Federal Credit Union all pay rent. Student life, ROAR and SGA are covered by fees and the rent paid by the others. As far as changes in the UC are concerned, Szpyrka said she and other administrators in the UC are looking to meet function and then bring in the aesthetic aspect.

How to make a change The UC advisory board, students, staff and faculty involvement will be necessary to provide input for change, Szpyrka said.

According to the University Campus Space Management Policy, space changes for general support systems, like lounges and resources like the copy center, will be assessed and distributed based on need and availability.

The policy states, “The

Vice Chancellor for Administration & Finance (VCAF) has the overall responsibility for the equitable and optimum use of space resources, with the final authority over all space allocations and assignments.”

The addition of space for any purpose, whether through lease, acquisition or new construction, must be approved in advance by the dean/director, vice chancellor, the Campus Space Advisory Committee and VCAF. Space requests must be submitted to the UCCS director of property, Space & Lease and the dean/director responsible for the program.

Requests must be signed by the appropriate dean and vice chancellor, with justification for additional space, a description of any special needs, and the number of personnel requiring accommodations, according to the policy.

Finally, “before submitting a space request to the Campus Space Advisory Committee, the department or unit must obtain written approval by the appropriate dean/director, and the unit/department vice chancellor. Although all efforts will be made to locate appropriate space, the campus cannot guarantee that the quantity or configuration of space requested can be provided,” said the site. S

news

A walk for homelessness December 14 to January 24

Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu

In El Paso County, nearly 70,000 people are living in poverty, according to the U.S. Census. The Pikes Peak Peace and Justice Commission (PPPJC) took a group on a “Journey with the Poor” on Dec 11.

The walk took the group to places in town where the homeless stay or are served to create a better understanding of the issues of homelessness, poverty, abuse and mental illness in Colorado Springs.

The Mesa House Steve Handon, a former priest and original member of The Bijou Community, which is a community of Mennonites and Catholics who were living on Bijou in the 1970s, opens his home to nine people, in addition to owning other houses that provide services for women and children and those suffering from substance abuse.

The Mesa House takes in those in need of a place to stay and advocates for fair treatment in hospitals, prisons, courts and other areas.

“We try to live our lives in non-violence. We find

ourselves as an organization in opposition with war budgets and violence on the streets. It isn’t that we believe there will be a world without violence, but that we can teach one another that living in peace is more important,” he said.

The services began by the Bijou Community in the 1970s, like the soup kitchen and clinic, were moved over by the Marion House and Peak Vista where they still remain.

Handon and community also bury the ashes of homeless who have died in the area every Dec. 21.

This year’s ceremony will be held at 5 p.m. at the Columbarium on Kiowa and Spruce.

The Marion House Marion House serves meals to between 600 and 700 people per day. The staff is primarily volunteers and the kitchen is open every day of the year. Participants in Journey with the Poor went through the soup kitchen line and ate with everyone else. The Marion House serves only lunch every day, except on Sundays, when they also serve breakfast. People went back for seconds of rice and vegetables, shred-

ded pork sandwiches, potato soup and dessert. Chief, who moved here from San Diego a couple months ago, said he is always fed but usually finds himself without a place to sleep at night. He said he wouldn’t mind seeing some old hotels and unused buildings converted into shelters.

When he said he had only a coat, Rick, who was sitting across from him, told him to go get a blanket from the truck in the back.

Melissa Burkenbine, a UCCS student who brought her 8-year-old son, Kai, on Journey of the Poor, was directed to the family room where she said there were only a few families and little conversation. Burkenbine, who will be an intern for the PPPJC in the winter, came on the walk not only to learn more about the city and PPPJC, but because, “I believe education is a big part of the future and I want my son to explore these things,” she said.

Salvation Army: New Hope Shelter New Hope is Colorado Springs’ only 24/7 shelter.

It can accommodate 210 people and provide clients with access to a hot shower, food, laundry and a bed.

‘Tis the season to be charitable Sara Horton shorton@uccs.edu While the end of the year often means delicious food, neat gifts and the company of loved ones, thousands of people in Colorado Springs will not have such luxuries this holiday season.

Though college students may not be able to donate large sums of money, time and thoughtfulness can fill the void and make the needed difference.

The Springs Rescue Mission is always searching for helping hands this time of year. Volunteers can assist with seasonal events, such as The Best Christmas Ever in partnership with Mr. Biggs Family Fun Center. Several hundred volunteers will be needed on Dec. 21 to give out toys, assemble and hand out food bags, operate Mr. Biggs attrac-

tions and more.

Anyone interested in participating may submit a volunteer application at http://www.mysrm.org/ volunteer.

No time to volunteer this year? Not a problem.

The Springs Rescue Mission welcomes donations, and items can be dropped off at their warehouse at 1 W. Las Vegas St. To prepare for the Christmas holiday, the Springs Rescue Mission requests the following items: gift certificates, bicycles, toys, canned ham (Christmas), cranberry sauce (14-16 oz.), canned yams (15-40 oz.), canned fruit (15 oz.), canned vegetables (14.5 oz.), boxed stuffing (6-12 oz.), canned gravy (10.2 oz.) and mashed potatoes (13-28 oz.).

While the Springs Rescue Mission has a powerful presence, other local charities offer volunteer

opportunities and seek a variety of items.

2010 Give Campaign: h t t p : / / w w w. i n d y g i v e . com/ Lists 40 local non-profit groups in need of volunteers and donations.

Recipients of aid include animals, families, youth, and more.

Ecumenical Social Ministries: (719) 636-1916 Provides emergency social services to lowincome or homeless people.

Marian House Soup Kitchen: (719) 475-7314 Serves hot meals to Colorado Springs residents every day of the year.

Salvation Army: (719) 636-3891 Provides food, clothing, and help with rent and utilities. S

Bike Clinic: No shirt, no shoes, full service!

Those who are 18 and older can get in with an ID. If clients are without ID, they are sent to the police station and must return with a referral.

When clients leave in the morning they are asked one question, “Are you coming back?” If they are, the bed they slept in the night before will be theirs again. They can stay for two weeks, and once that time is up they are asked another question, “What else needs to happen in your life?” Then they work from there.

New Hope has a Hope House, a two-year pro-

Page 5

Photo by Catherine Jensen

gram for men transitioning out of the shelter, and the Children’s Discovery Center, a place for parents and children to live and a daycare service for children of parents in search of or attending work.

Bike Clinic At the end of the alleyway next to the warehouse on Cimarron, Peter Sprunger-Froese makes free bike repairs and gives away 12-14 free bikes a week to those without transportation. The parts for bikes are donated and he and his friends dump-

ster dive.

Sprunger-Froese serves mostly those who are homeless or moneyless, but anyone may get a bike.

“I tell people to receive the bike as a gift. We don’t always have to have money interfere with our relationships.” Relationship building is key to success. “I refuse to categorize [my clients] as ‘charity,’ needy or people just on the receiving end of society and its structures. They have just as much right to gifts, like a bike, as we do,” he added. Sprunger-Froese fixes bikes by appointment only. S

ATTENTION CHEM 103 STUDENTS! Looking for a copy of Chemistry & Chemical Reactivity, but don’t want to pay bookstore prices?

One used copy of the textbook is available for $20, OBO. Shoot an email to lhidalgo@uccs.edu. ACT FAST!

news

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PR club engineers buzz in the community Corey Mensing cmensing@uccs.edu Mountain Lion PRide is a recent addition to UCCS and is focused on building lasting relationships within the community. The club works as an extra-curricular public relations organization to promote other organizations and clubs.

“We’re looking to help in the community,” emphasized James Burge, president of Mountain Lion PRide. Burge, a junior, worked hard to turn his idea into an official public relations club, and his dedication paid off last June.

While it was difficult to attract members in the beginning, the club now has around eight members and hopes to grow more in the future. Burge wants members to walk away with tangible work, like press releases, that can be added to portfolios and help students attain jobs in the field. Although Burge is a communication major with a marketing minor, he believes the club should continue to be open to all and hopes to attract people from different majors and backgrounds “An engineering ma-

jor would be nice,” said Burge, in reference to the club’s work with Engineering without Borders.

For their first project, the club is helping an organization unaffiliated with UCCS called Colorado Springs chapters of Engineering without Borders (EWB-COS).

EWB-COS is in the midst of a project involving the Bolivian communities of Zuncallo and Comucala and their poor water quality. Working with an organization operated out of La Paz called Engineers in Action (EIA), they will be restructuring water lines to improve the water supply for 55 families in the small Bolivian communities.

Mountain Lion PRide’s mission is to raise awareness of the project through their work with EWB. Helping EWB use social networking, particularly a Facebook page for their organization, was the club’s first task. The club then revamped EWB’s website to ensure a more user-friendly experience.

Additionally, the club will help EWB create a physical newsletter that can be sent out to people in the community.

The club’s goal is to

Sacco family remain hopeful as search for missing CU-Boulder grad continues Matthew Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

James Burge, president of Mountain Lion PRide, hopes to reach out more in the community.

teach organizations how to successfully run and use Facebook pages and websites to connect with members of the community.

“We’re that generation that instinctively knows how to use these mediums,” explained Burge. While a facebook page and Twitter are good marketing tools, they can be detrimental if they are not updated frequently, he furthered.

While continuing to reach out to the community, Mountain Lion PRide is more than willing to work with on-campus organizations not opposed to working with other campus organizations, and is ready and capable. If the

club works with a campus organization, such as promoting an event, they would market more toward college students in contrast to their work with EWB. Mountain Lion PRide does not charge for the work they do for organizations and considers partnerships to be mutually beneficial.

In the spring semester, the club hopes to expand and help other organizations with similar needs.

Mountain Lion PRide meets the 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month in the ROAR office. Their facebook page is Mountain Lion PRide Public Relations. S

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December 14 to January 24

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Make your life suck less by visiting uccsscribe.com

For most people, April 20 may be just another day, but for the Sacco family of Greeley, Colo., it marks the last time they Sacco had contact with their daughter, Aubrey.

As a UC Boulder graduate, Aubrey Sacco, 23, traveled to the outskirts of Nepal in hopes of teaching yoga to locals while taking classes on meditation and learning about eastern philosophies. She went missing over seven months ago, and despite numerous rescue operations of the Lantang National Park, where she was last seen and heard from, the family’s vexations of U.S. government support are increasing.

“In general, of all the people that have helped, the government has been the most surprising, and the most disappointing,” Paul Sacco said, “Early on, the State Department and Department of Justice brought many of their resources to bear, given their geographic limitations. After all, Aubrey disappeared on the other side of the world; at about the six month mark, however, they officially forgot us.”

All has not been lost, though, and even as the search for Aubrey enters into month eight, many foreign and local officials are still maintaining the search and assistance for the Sacco family.

“Thankfully, some of the agents within the bureaucracy still carry the torch for Aubrey and are still helping behind the scenes,” expounded Sacco. “God bless those agents and people that are sticking with us. The Nepal police and Nepal Army are also helping in the search but it is difficult to obtain information or disclosure of their search records,” he added.

“The lesson to be learned here is that we put too much faith in our institutions; 8,000 letters were written to Hillary Clinton begging her to free up more resources to help our own FBI and Embassy find Aubrey. We received no response. We even wrote to [former] President Bill Clinton but were told by insiders that he only helps with the easy cases in which he can quickly affect a positive outcome,” he said.

With no hard leads or evidence to draw conclusions that anything negative happened to Aubrey, the family said that there are several persons of interest that may have information of her whereabouts and what may have happened. No matter what, Paul, Connie and their sons, Morgan and Crofton, still believe in their hearts that Aubrey is alive, but “because she became lost in such a strange and spiritual part of the country, many of the disappearance theories are optimistic, although we have to be realistic that the negative ones are still possible,” Sacco added.

As days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, the musician, artist and world traveler’s message of “Make Love to Life” has not been overlooked or ignored; the immense floodgate of Aubrey Sacco supporters across the country and globe has summated into the thousands due in part to a Facebook page, which was created to spread awareness about her disappearance; friends, family and supporters from all corners of the world post daily messages of support, prayer and love in hopes of getting the young yogi back home to her family.

AubreySacco.com has assimilated into a pipeline for the family and supporters, alike, to receive the latest updates and become aware of the series of fundraising events and products available for people to get involved and assist in the search effort.

Students are encouraged to log onto the website for more information on how to make a difference in the continuing search relief. S

culture

December 14 to January 24

Page 7

Christmas Stories: A guide to local theatre over the holidays Compiled by Brock Kilgore

The Pikes Peak Region has a wide variety of Christmas themed theatre ranging from the big time production of A Cowboy Christmas Carol by our very own Theatreworks, down to the marionette production of the same classic story, without cowboys. The Simpich Showcase Marionette Theatre in Old Colorado City’s production of A Christmas Carol and The Christmas Mouse are meant specifically for children, but all productions, like Christmas, can be appreciated by any audience, and aren’t we all a little childish anyway? All productions have student-friendly admission options as well.

A Cowboy Christmas Carol Theatreworks Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre 1420 Austin Bluffs Pkwy Thursday – Saturday at 7:30 p.m., Saturday 2:30 p.m. and Sunday 4 p.m.

UCCS students will receive one ticket for free, and tickets are $5 to $30 for the public Purchase tickets at www. theatreworkscs.org or at the box office Colorado Springs is a western town, Waddie Mitchell is a famous and accomplished cowboy poet and A Christmas Carol is perhaps the most famous onstage holiday production. So why not combine the three? Murray Ross, artistic director for Theatreworks, describes the play on their website and said, “The big idea is to get us all around the campfire

with Waddie and listen to him tell us the story that we all know is an essential part of the holidays, and to tell us this story in a way that will make it completely new again.”

UCCS students are lucky to receive a free ticket to this and most Theatreworks productions because they are top-tier productions with professional actors that rival nearly any in the state or region. For exceptional culinary treats before the show try A Taste of India, Silver Pond Chinese Gourmet or The English Dockside, all on North Academy.

Angel of the Christmas Mine Thin Air Theatre Company The Butte Theatre 139 Bennett Ave., Cripple Creek Tuesday, Dec. 28, Wednesday Dec, 22 and 29, Thursday, Dec. 16, 23 and 30, Friday, Dec. 17 and 31 and Saturday, Dec. 18 at 7 p.m.

Saturday – Sunday, Dec. 18 and 19 at 1 p.m.

Tickets are $12.75 for adults and $7.75 for children Purchase tickets at www. butteoperahouse.com or at the box office The Butte Opera Theatre’s website describes the play written by Chris Sorensen, and previously produced by the Thin Air Theatre Company. “In the midst of a horrible mine collapse, three miners trapped below ground and their families above manage to find solace and

hope in the face of tragedy.

While their loved ones try to free the trapped men, the three miners tell each other Christmas stories to pass the time and keep their minds from worry.”

A trip to Cripple Creek with an inexpensive dinner, the live show and maybe a little gambling can be a fun and comparable priced alternative to a chain restaurant dinner and a megaplex movie, or sitting around, staring at each other or the TV and eating takeout over the holidays. Play only $5 or $10 in nickel slots and try eating at Carlos Miguel’s Mexican Restaurant or Mangia Mangia Italian, both in Woodland Park, to keep the prices down, and the fun and food quality up.

A Christmas Carol Simpich Showcase Marionette Theatre 2413 W. Colorado (in Old Colorado City) Tuesday – Sunday at 2:30 p.m. and Fridays at 7 p.m. through Dec. 31 Tickets are $14 at www. simpich.com or at the box office If you, your child, or just your inner child has never seen a marionette production, maybe consider splurging a little this holiday season and checking one out. Dickens himself appears onstage literally bringing the classic characters to life. The theatre is intimate and cozy and the feelings of childish imagination are difficult to keep from overwhelming.

As the only year-round

marionette theatre in the US, the Simpich Showcase Theatre is a gem hiding in Old Colorado City.

But it is really only a gem hiding amongst others on the Westside. Try a stonebaked pizza at Pizzeria Rustica, east African food at Uchenna, the calamari at Paravicini’s or anything at Front Range BBQ. The Christmas Mouse Manitou Art Theatre 1367 Pecan St. Saturday, Dec. 18 at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m., and Sunday, Dec. 19 at 1 p.m. and 3 p.m.

Tickets are $10 at www. themat.org or at the box office The Manitou Art Theatre (MAT) may feature experimental, artist driven theatre today, but they started out as a children’s theatre, and it is still at the core of what they do. The Christmas Mouse entertains with the message of the time-honored battle between the forces of giving (the mouse) versus the forces of naughty (the cat) and grumpy (the elderly owner).

If you have children in your life, The MAT is an excellent involved entertainment/theatrical educational venue. They have classes like Fairytale Fun for ages 5-7, Young Shakespeareans for ages 8-10 and Teen Ensemble for ages 12-17. They will also feature Paul Mesner’s Puppets Rapunzel in February and a children’s audience inspired improv in March.

How

the

RIP Saved

Christmas Manitou Art Theatre 1367 Pecan St. Friday — Saturday, Dec. 17 and 18 Tickets are $10.50 in advance at www.themat.org or $12 at the door The RIP is the MAT’s resident improv troupe. They describe their Christmas

show, “With a heavy dose of improv, sprinkled with a crusty topping of music and baked in an open flame of sketch comedy… this is one nutcracker you won’t want to miss.” They will produce Colorado Spring’s first Colorado Improv Festival this summer, and perform every first Saturday of the month at the MAT. S

RIPPING IT UP A GUIDE TO THE BEST SKI RESORTS WRITTEN BY CHERISE FANTUS/PHOTOS BY ARIEL LATTIMORE AND BRETT OWENS

LOVELAND

Best single day adventure for everyone

At the risk of sounding cliché, I love Loveland. It is the perfect resort for a single day of skiing. It’s big enough to offer enough variety to make just about everyone happy, it’s reasonably priced and the lifts are an easy walk from the parking lot. Try to plan your lunch break for a more abnormal hour. With only one place to go to eat, it is often extremely crowded and difficult to find a seat during the lunch rush. My one real complaint is that there aren’t enough signs for the runs. There are signs at the top of each lift, saying which direction each run is, but there aren’t signs at the trail heads, so it’s difficult to differentiate the runs.

Ride Lift 2 only once; it is long and slow, and it’s wise to stick to the lifts on the top half of the mountain if you don’t want to spend half of your day on the lift.

COPPER MOUNTAIN Best place to learn your sweet new tricks

Copper is still on the small side, but it has a lot of variety to please everyone. You can cover a good portion of the terrain in a single day, though it’s probably better suited for a weekend trip. They have an ice skating rink and a tubing hill, as well as snowshoeing, snowmobiling and dogsledding. This way, even those who don’t necessarily want to ski all day will be able to find some-

thing to do. Jointly, they not only have a terrain park, but an awesome half-pipe for the Shawn White wannabes (Shawn White has actually been spotted on the pipe). For those wanting to learn how to execute jumps and tricks without breaking a neck, or hone their skills in a safe environment, check out Woodward at Copper. For a reasonable price you can practice your jumps on a

trampoline, ski jump into a foam pit or practice with your skateboard in the bowl. All of these are done in a safe, indoor training facility. The one downfall of Copper Mountain is the parking situation. You can either park in the free lot, where you have to take a shuttle to the mountain, or pay for parking, where you often have to take a shuttle anyway, depending on which lot you choose.

ARAPAHOE BASIN Best single day adventure for intermediate/experts

A-Basin is not a beginner’s resort.

While they do have a bunny hill, there are only three green runs on the mountain. The vast majority of the runs are blue and black. This resort is very small, so it’s definitely good for a single day. Since it’s so close to Loveland and Keystone, it would be a good idea to combine it with a trip to one of those for a weekend

trip. The food is delicious and was definitely the best food I’ve ever had at a ski resort. With a food court at the bottom of the mountain, and the Black Mountain Lodge halfway up, it’s easy to find somewhere to eat that isn’t completely overcrowded.

For those of you concerned with the environment, they both recycle and compost. The parking lot is an easy

walk from the lifts, making it easy to get around. There is no cell phone service anywhere but on the top of the mountain, so don’t expect to be able to stay in touch with your friends via technology, so try smoke signals.

While you’re there, either ride the lift, if it’s open, or hike up to the edge of the Montezuma Bowl to take a look at the breathtaking panoramic view.

BRECKENRIDGE Best of...everything

Breckenridge definitely lives up to the hype. With four peaks, five terrain parks, two half-pipes and easily accessible bowls, this resort can cater to just about anybody’s liking.

They have tons of groomed terrain – including black runs, for those of us who prefer that sort of thing – as well as runs left ungroomed to allow

for moguls. The mountain is beautifully maintained, making each run spectacular. Breckenridge offers the highest-altitude lift in North America, the Imperial Express Superchair, which goes up to the Peak 8 Summit for access to the bowls. There is plenty of parking and a gondola available for visitors needing a lift

to the resort. Although most of the lots charge for parking, there is a discount for cars with four or more people. I would recommend going for at least a long weekend as there is a lot of terrain to cover. Other activities offered include cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, dog sledding and sleigh rides.

VAIL

Best place to bring out-of-town visitors

While Vail certainly has a lot to offer, I would not recommend it for your regular ski trips. It is a bit out of the way, driving-wise, it’s definitely pricey, and it can get pretty crowded. That’s not to say you should never go there, though, because you definitely should.

There is a ton to see there. They have skiing suited to anyone’s taste, from easy beginner runs to killer back bowls, as well as terrain parks and other activities.

They offer a decent amount of groomed terrain on the front of the mountain, with powder in the rear. The parking garages within easy walking distance from the resort are nice, except that they cost between $20 and $25. When you’re through playing in the snow, there’s the entire town of Vail to explore. There is certainly a reason that people come from all over the world to visit Vail, and you will surely meet a few of them during your visit.

KEYSTONE

Best two day adventure/friendliest mountain

Keystone is a very user-friendly mountain. With boxes of tissues available everywhere and free tampons in the women’s restroom, they are definitely concerned with the comfort of their guests. Like the State Farm guy, the information people seem to magically appear anytime you have a question. They also offer extra activities like snowshoe-

ing, tubing, slopecycles and snowbikes. Night skiing is a very unique and worthwhile experience, which is offered on Fridays and Saturdays.

A portion of the mountain is lit and is open until 8 p.m. They have plenty of green and easier blue runs on Dercum Mountain (the front). The North Peak and The Outback offer more challenging blues that could

be considered more of a midnight blue, groomed blacks and plenty of moguls. It’s a great place to go for any ability level. With a lot of terrain to cover, it’s good for a weekend trip. Cell service is spotty, so don’t rely on it. For a unique dining experience, ride the gondola back to the North Peak for a romantic fondue dinner in the evening.

MONARCH Best place for powder

Monarch is an excellent choice if you’re looking for powder. They have all natural snow and are rarely busy. They offer a lot of easy beginner terrain, and the lift tickets are inexpensive, so it’s a great place to learn. Other than that, it’s really

nothing to write home about. The runs are incredibly short and the lifts are old and slow. You spend 10 minutes freezing on the lift, and one minute actually skiing. It’s barely enough time to get the blood flowing before you’re sedentary on the

lift again. The black runs offer a bit of a challenge, but are still over much too quickly. If awesome powder and lack of crowds are your main concerns, definitely head to Monarch; if not, I would just as soon skip it.

WINTER PARK Best place for private lessons

Winter Park is plenty big, with a variety of terrain and some sweet runs – definitely good for a weekend getaway. It is a bit out of the way, though.

Highway 40 is long and twisty, and can be very dangerous in inclement weather. If that doesn’t bother you,

absolutely take the trip. They offer snowcat tours, ice skating, terrain parks, and a Nastar Public Race Arena, which is available to the public from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. daily. Here you can race your friends or just try to improve your time. If you have the

money to pay for private lessons, visit their newly opened Private Lesson Center. While there, you will get exclusive lift access, concierge service, VIP rental delivery and free Wi-Fi, all for around the same price as the private lessons at the other resorts.

Last-minute tips To make your mountain journey more enjoyable.

No matter which resort you visit, there are simple ways to avoid the crowds as much as possible. Get there early. Most places don’t get busy until around 10 to 11 a.m.

Get there when the lifts open, and hit the front of the mountain while it’s still fresh and there aren’t a lot of people for you to deal with. When the hoards start rolling in, head as far back on the mountain as possible, depending on your ability level. The skiing is almost always better back there, and it’s usually less crowded. If you are a beginner, I’m sorry to say you’re pretty much stuck on the front.

Always make safety your priority. Buy a helmet. Stay aware of your surroundings.

Make sure to read the safety guidelines and the skier’s/rider’s code in your trail map and behave accordingly. Most accidents are caused by carelessness, so take care not to be the cause.

Food at ski resorts is expensive. Even the cheapest places charge around $3 for a bottle of soda, so pack a lunch and save yourself a few bucks.

Make sure you and your vehicle are ready for winter driving. The conditions up in the mountains tend to be much worse than here in the Springs. Get your winter tires put on. Take your winter driving course, and remember: Don’t brake on ice! It will only cause you to slide more. Downshift to slow down (you can do this in an automatic, too). Only brake if absolutely necessary.

-Cherise Fantus

athletics

December 14 to January 24

Page 11

Lady Mountain Lions pick up tough conference win against Mines The University of Coloraacramer@uccs.edu do at Colorado Springs women’s basketball team used a late surge to pick up their first conference win 59-54 against the Colorado School of Mines at the Gallogly Event Center Friday night.

UCCS opened the game on a 10-2 run but were unable to sustain their early success as Mines went on a 17-6 run to end the first half and close the score 22-21 in favor of the lady Mountain Lions.

Ashley Miller led the team with 13 points and nine rebounds, while Lauren Wolfinger added 12 points and six assists.

Protecting the basketball was emphasized as UCCS only committed 11 turnovers while forcing the Orediggers to commit 18.

“The way we practice is the way we play,” Miller expounded, “That was our mentality this week; watching turnovers and taking care of the ball. Defense is always our main focus.”

Despite only shooting 37 percent from the field, UCCS was able to make clutch shots in the final minutes to hold off Mines. Even though Wolfinger was only 3-14 from the field on the night, she was 2-2 in the final three minutes.

Alex Cramer

Back-to-back three-pointers by Jeri Pikul and Miller with 5:52 to go in the game sent the home crowd of the Gallogly Event Center into a frenzy; the buckets also gave life to a Mountain Lion team at a time when they couldn’t find anything else positive to hang their hats on.

“We just grinded it out. We didn’t shoot well, but we kept fighting and crawling back into the game,” said Miller. “We play four of the top teams to start and we knew [heading] into this weekend we had to get two wins.”

Mines also out-rebounded UCCS 4433, but timely baskets by the Mountain Lions late in the game proved to be the difference.

“They’re a big team,” commented coach Corey Laster. “I thought our game plan was simple to try and pressure them and get out in transition to try to create some easier baskets; it was good win.”

The win brings the Mountain Lions to 2-5 on the season with a 1-2 (RMAC) conference record.

“I feel like we’re starting from the top and working our way down the preseason rankings,” said Coach Laster. “This team is a work in progress, and I think our best basketball is still ahead of us,” he added.

Becca Gaffney, Courtney Gallo and

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

Junior Ashley Miller hits a mid-range jumper against the Orediggers in Friday’s game.

Tory Langas each scored 11 points for Mines who dropped to 4-3 and 0-2 in the RMAC.

UCCS returns home Jan. 3 to take on the CSU-Pueblo Thunderwolves at 6 p.m. S

UCCS comes up short against Mines, defeats Colorado Christian at Gallogly Events Center Ryan Piechowski

rpiechow@uccs.edu As the 2010-11 season begins with a slow and somewhat lethargic start, the UCCS Men’s Basketball team dropped another tough conference game, which marked their third straight loss in a 62-58 decision to the Colorado School of Mines Orediggers on Dec. 10 at the Gallogly Events Center.

UCCS came out slow in the first half and fell into an early 17-point deficit. This is not the first time this season that the Mountain Lions, who dropped to 0-3 in conference play, have come out sluggish from the opening tip of the game.

Due to poor fieldgoal shooting in the first few minutes of the game, Mines raced out of the gates with a dominating 21-4 lead, which resulted in a mere 1-12 from the field in the opening ten minutes of play; UCCS went 1-17 from three point range and shot just 34 percent from the field all game.

With their offense struggling, the Mountain Lions had to turn to their defense to keep the deficit

from growing any higher; increased defensive productivity led to easier baskets and helped trim the Oredigger lead to just four going into the locker room at halftime.

Senior forward Brent Jones stressed the importance of being consistent on the defensive end when shots aren’t falling.

“Your offense starts with your defense,” he added, “When you get defensive stops, everything becomes easier.”

The men came out in the second half, determined to crawl out of the hole they dug themselves into during the first 20 minutes of play; an active defense along with increased effort and hustle led to an 11-3 run and an eventual 49-47 Mountain Lion lead.

As the men displayed an impressive spark in hustle and energy, which caused the team to crash the boards, dive for loose balls and fill in passing lanes, they stifled the originally potent Oredigger offense.

The recurring theme thus far for UCCS had been giving up big leads early, fighting diligently to come back and then

failing to close out tight games late in the game.

This all too familiar pattern took place once again, as a 13-3 Mines run snatched the lead and the victory away from the Mountain Lions.

Jones, who led UCCS in scoring with 19 points and eight rebounds, commented about the frustrating theme which has summed up much of the Lions’ season so far.

“We come out lazy every game expecting things to go well,” Jones shared, “We eventually get back into that rhythm of how we’re supposed to play, and that is how we get back into games. Then we just have a problem closing them out.”

Sophomore Alan Paul finished with 12 points and five rebounds, while senior Luke Hristou came off the bench with a 10-point contribution.

The men found a much needed conference win the following night, as they took down Colorado Christian 80-67 at the Gallogly Events Center and regained control of placing trust in their offense.

Jones recorded his second double-double of the season with 21 points and 10

Photo by Ariel Lattimore Senior Brent Jones attacks the basket with a floating layup.

rebounds, while Hristou and senior Ben Feilmeier contributed with 17 and 16 points, respectively.

The victory came at a crucial point for UCCS, who now sit at 3-5 (1-3 RMAC), as they head into a midseason bursting with critical conference games

against Metro State, Mesa State and CSU-Pueblo; as Head Coach Russ Caton, stated, “It was a solid performance for us tonight. Hopefully it gives us some confidence in how the game should be played.”

The Mountain Lions

will look to continue increasing that vital confidence and climb atop the RMAC as they travel to New Mexico for a back-to-back showdown against New Mexico Highlands and Western New Mexico on Dec. 17 and 18. S

Page 12

Matthew Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu

athletics

December 14 to January 24

bowlen changes bronco dynamics for the betterment of the organization?

Broncos’ release of Josh McDaniels is merely a quick fix band-aid

As former Denver Broncos Head Coach Josh McDaniels was relieved from duty early last week after yet another disappointing season for the franchise and fans alike, the NFL saw one more head coach sent off in dramatic fashion to burn in the fiery depths of unemployment midway through the year.

McDaniels will join the ranks of Brad Childers and Wade Phillips, who coached the Minnesota Vikings and Dallas Cowboys, respectively, and were each released just prior to McDaniels for similar dwindling rankings and performance.

Childers was let go after the Vikings’ sporadic winning wasn’t enough to trump the poor play calling on the field, combined with several poor performances by Vikings’ Quarterback Brett Favre; Phillips shared a similar fate on the field as the Cowboys managed to remain winless at home until a week 11 victory over the Detroit Lions.

All three scenarios are very ugly and many in regards, unfortunate. When the loss of a head coach happens during the season, it can be a very difficult pill to swallow.

However, I do not question the reasoning behind the release of McDaniels and the list is just too long to go into detail; he had many short-comings and made a lot of poor decisions on and off the field, so let us move past this chapter of the post-McDaniels era where everyone, especially Broncos fans, are capable of suddenly becoming expert critics on the situation. The inertial force behind his termination may have been due to the outrage and outcry from fans and media outlets over the last eight weeks.

The man was taken out back and shot accordingly, so let’s just leave it at that.

The bigger and more important question still remains: Where does the Denver Broncos organization go from here?

To make any attempt to even begin to answer that question goes beyond the scope of my NFL knowledge, but as a Denver fan, my hopes are the same now as they were when long-time Broncos head coach, Mike Shanahan, was fired after the 2008 season: I merely want to see the old ‘orange and blue’ have great success in the regular season followed by playoff contentions and appearances. My memories of the former glory days encasing Denver’s 1997-98 Super Bowl wins are beginning to become more distant and consequently, less meaningful.

Interim Head Coach Eric Studesville may stop the bleeding for the time being and snatch a few victories, but come January when the franchise is on sabbatical for the umpteenth time due to playoff eradication, the reality will set in how disoriented and discombobulated the team’s outlook really is.

Broncos fans may be relieved now as their over-joyous attitudes of justice served and vindication over McDaniels resonate throughout the front range of Colorado, but it doesn’t matter how many Tim Tebows or Kyle Ortons you have in the bank; successful teams maintaining successful seasons year after year in the NFL are built upon a solid foundation of coaching; namely, the head coach.

The consistency of a franchise means just as much as the individual credibility of its staff. The possible head coaching prospects Denver is able to draw are going to be drastically affected by the inconsistency of the team’s functionality and cohesive absence of leadership.

And, what many people may not be aware of are the incessant pay-outs Denver is going to be delivering to McDaniels and Shanahan for early contract termination over the next several years. Broncos owner Pat Bowlen still owes Shanahan a hefty million dollar salary, and McDaniels had nearly $7 million left on his contract prior to his release; this means when the team acquires a new coach for next season, Bowlen and company will be paying three head coaches from here on out.

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

There’s a new sheriff in town, and for the time being, that may be just enough to suffice a few minuscule, radiant elements of positivity and growth for the team, but come this off-season when the band-aid is removed the Broncos will be in dire need of a massive overhaul of surgical operations at the coaching level. S

Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu

Efforts to restore Broncos’ legacy a fiery decision

As a second grader I was scrawny; I had limbs like tree branches – tree branches that bend and snap under the slightest pressure – and I was notoriously breaking bones. Before turning 12, I visited the emergency room four times. When I was three, I attempted to “fly” out of my high chair. I broke my arm. When I was five, I managed to trip over a 6-inch metal pole sticking out of the ground. I broke my arm. When I was eight, I failed to listen to my gymnastics instructor and catapulted myself across the mat after bouncing on an embedded trampoline. I dislocated my arm. Then I tripped on the first of two wooden stairs leading into my house to break my arm for the fourth time in 1998.

Juxtaposed with this unfortunate, though rather common, occurrence was a very important football game coached by a very important man. The Broncos were playing for their second Super Bowl, and I had ruined it for my father by forcing him to cheer and stomp his feet in the emergency room waiting room.

It’s a day I’ll never forget. For one, I haven’t had a broken arm since.

On a more depressing note, the Broncos have since failed to live up to my secondgrade standards. And believe me, they were, and still are, audacious.

I could easily blame it on the firing of Mike Shanahan, many of us could, but at this stage in the game, it seems futile if not overtly ridiculous.

Instead we can lament, if not cheer, over the recent firing of Josh McDaniels.

As a former college athlete, I can understand – probably more than the typical fan – the impossibility of blaming the failure of an entire organization on one person.

And still, we do it with the disgustingly healthy regularity of a diaper-wearing toddler.

With that said, I still believe – just as I believed that someday I would grow up without a perpetually broken arm – that firing Josh McDaniels was not only a wise decision, but a saving grace.

In less than two seasons, McDaniels compiled an 11-17 record. This was done through questionable decisions, unfortunate trades and overall coaching tactics. One of McDaniel’s bigger blunders was undoubtedly the decision to trade Peyton Hillis to the Cleveland Browns.

Add that to the “unbeknownst” illegal taping of the San Francisco 49ers practice, referred to as Spygate 2, and it’s as if McDaniels not only pre-ordered his FedEx shipping box, but duct taped himself inside it too.

This isn’t to say McDaniels didn’t experience any success; the success just happens to be tainted by false hope and illegitimate activities. There is nothing worse than starting your first season as head coach six wins strong, and floundering the remainder of your tenure in the kiddy pool.

Still, no one expected McDaniels to be fired with four games left in the season.

The question then is, why did Pat Bowlen feel it a necessary move to make right now?

Well, when considering the Denver Broncos as a football business, it makes perfect sense.

Fans are not happy, seats are empty and the reputation of the team has suffered.

Take Tim Tebow, for example. Snagging Tebow in the first round was a mistake, in my opinion. This isn’t to say he isn’t a potentially great player, but with Orton playing consistently all season, there wasn’t much room for Tebow-time.

This proved to be a double-edged sword for McDaniels. While I believe he was right for relying heavily on Orton, the fans wanted Tebow. They cried, cheered and shook the stands for him. When McDaniels repeatedly failed to play him, they turned on him, ridiculing his coaching decisions and laying blame on ill-deserved places.

All that aside, McDaniels simply wasn’t ready for the responsibility of a head coaching job. As Brandon Lloyd said, “I think right now maybe wasn’t his time to handle all of that load.” S

December 14 to January 24

opinion

Page 13

Spreading cheer despite the scrooges Cherise Fantus cfantus@gmail.com During the holiday season, nothing is worse than having the added stress of trying to figure out how to greet somebody properly.

Certain retailers require their employees to say “Happy Holidays” so as not to offend anyone.

Unfortunately, even the supposedly all-inclusive “Happy Holidays” is offensive to many Christians who obviously believe that their holiday is the only one that matters. Forget the dozens of other major religions; they expect say “Merry Christmas” regardless. Either that, or you’re supposed to use your psychic powers and automatically recognize that they

are so obviously Christian, and greet them accordingly.

It would be great if we all had such powers, but since we don’t, that is an utterly ridiculous expectation.

I say that whatever you say to express holiday cheer is acceptable. You can’t please everyone, so trying to is inevitably going to make somebody unhappy – usually you. If somebody doesn’t take your expression of goodwill as such, and takes offense because you didn’t express the proper religious belief, well then, that’s their problem.

“Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hanukkah,” “Happy Kwanzaa” and even “Happy Festivus” all express essentially the same sentiment. No matter how it’s stated, the fact is that the person saying it wants you to share in their cheer. The fact that they use the word “Christmas” or “Kwanzaa” simply means that is the particular holiday that they themselves celebrate, not

that they expect you to celebrate the same thing.

If they say “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” it’s not because they are the Antichrist, or that they hate your religion and are trying to offend you.

It’s simply because you are not wearing a sign announcing which holiday you celebrate, so they opt for the blanket greeting.

While “Happy Holidays” is a good attempt, trying to find an all-inclusive term to please everyone is a futile effort. We have to consider the fact that there are people of certain religions – or lack thereof – that don’t celebrate any holidays. Jehovah’s witnesses don’t observe any holidays, so even saying the general “Happy Holidays” excludes this religion.

Also, as stated above, there are certain people who will still get offended by the non-denominational term.

There is no single greeting that can please everyone. There are certain people who will insist on one specific greeting. There

DEAR DEVI US DU

Dear Desk Destroyer,

My short answer to your question is: No. You don’t want to sleep with this guy, no matter how great he was in the past.

The big red flag here is that he apparently still has some leftover feelings for you, and you obviously don’t have any feelings for him. Minus the tingling sensation you get when you think about those shower sessions, of course.

The point is, ex sex only works assuming a number of key factors have been worked out, and he’s breaking the first rule.

1. If one party is still mulling over the effects of the breakup, then it’s a no-go. Leftover feelings will only get in the way and more than likely lead to terrible sex and/or a terrible conscience afterwards.

2. Motives need to be purely physical. You’ve got this one down easy, but it doesn’t sound like he does. A quick tumble in the sheets (or desk, if you’d rather) shouldn’t lead to awkward 3 A.M. phone calls.

3. Clear intentions are a must. Again, you know what you want, but make sure he knows that he’s essentially just a booty call.

(And, for the record, that is the abridged version of “the rules.”)

If you do decide to hook up with him, you may find yourself not wanting his company afterwards. This is a pretty normal side effect of ex sex–think of it as getting closure from the relationship since things ended so awkwardly.

It might be exactly what you need, or perhaps what he needed to get over you. Though, being a guy, he’s going to take all the sex he can get as long as you’re willing.

Assuming you decide to not sleep with him, I’d make your stance clear to him immediately. Let him know you only want to be friends (if you so choose) and that a relationship isn’t in the future for the two of you.

-JD Osorio

are those who will be displeased no matter what you say, simply because they are intent on being miserable.

So when choosing which greeting to use, just go with whatever feels right to you.

No matter what you say, there will always be some fanatical, narcissistic lunatic who will take your attempt at holiday cheer as a personal religious war against them. Instead of trying to please everyone, just continue spreading holiday cheer with whichever expression you choose. Accept the positive responses

Photo Courtesy of zazzle.com

you receive and dismiss the negative ones. It’s the only way to keep your sanity.

The fact is, we are all people. The holidays, no matter what kind of religious connotations are attached to them, are about togetherness. We should all make an effort to accept one another and our differences, if not all year, then at least during this season, when almost everyone has something to celebrate.

Making a big deal about somebody using the wrong greeting goes against everything the holidays stand for.

No matter how you choose to celebrate, or not to celebrate, is acceptable.

No matter how you choose to express your holiday cheer, or not to express your lack thereof, is acceptable. Anyone who takes an expression of cheer as anything but, is a self-centered miser who doesn’t deserve your good cheer.

Also, don’t take offense to anyone else’s expressions of cheer. Expecting everyone to automatically know that you celebrate Festivus instead of Hanukkah is unrealistic, unkind, and downright uncool. S

I meet a guy here at school my freshman year and had been dating him for a few months. The sex was amazing and we would go at it for over an hour. Then when spring semester was over, he went to Hawaii. We talked nearly every day and when he came home, I surprised him at the airport. On my drive home he then broke up with me over text message. This year, however, he texts me frequently and tells me that he made a huge mistake. I could never date him again because of the way things ended, but I often wonder if I should allow myself to hook up with him. He was so great in bed, in shower and especially on the desk. HELP! Should I let myself hook up with him?

Dear Deserving Nympho, First of all, does anyone actually enjoy hour-long sex? I for one do not have that much time on my hands.

You see, while it might speak to his incredible stamina and impressive physique, it might also point to gratuitous amounts of experience. And coupled with an abundance of hook ups, is the possibility that you were dealing with – and enjoying – the skill of a man-whore.

Now, maybe this doesn’t bother you, and maybe you too have been tossed around like a used blow up doll, but based on your willingness to write in, I doubt it.

Interestingly, had you asked me this question three weeks ago, I would have quickly flipped you the thumbs up. I would have told you to go for it, with protection of course, and have yourself a fun-filled night of expected rug burns and steamy showers.

However, because it is the Christmas season and the urge to hook up, connect and be in a relationship is stronger than ever, I question the timing of your query.

It’s cold out, no one wants to curl up in bed alone, I completely understand.

Because you have a history with him, it’s easy, almost natural, to imagine yourself in his twin-size bed a few more nights.

Part of you is thinking, hell, why not?

Well, with the threat of sounding like a prude ninny, here’s why it might not be in your best interest.

He ended things with you. This isn’t to say he couldn’t have made a mistake, and I’m sure you are a wonderful girl, but still, he lost interest.

Let me remind you that you are not a consolation prize. You are not an afterthought. And you are certainly worthy of more than an hour-long bang (e.g. dinner and a movie).

Now, if you only want an hour of his time and you have accepted that he probably only wants the same of you, then I commend your decision.

However, if you’re still distraught over last summer, like I think you are, and hoping he wants to be more than a random fling, you’re going to have to take things a lot slower.

-Jessica Lynch

Have a question about relationships, love or...sex? Email your query to the Devious Duo at scribeonsex@gmail.com.

opinion December 14 to January 24

Page 14

Single during the holidays: Why you shouldn’t cry

Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu The first snow symbolizes more than just the beginning of winter. Rather, it is a calling — an annoying, high-pitched, deeply reverberating cry — for the single souls of the world to unite. And suddenly, everyone is longing for that special someone to, umm, love forever?

By the same token, the definition of “the one” also changes drastically.

Standards drop. Men who never stood a flying chance suddenly seem like viable options, and that persistent guy you were not even remotely interested in during the summer miraculously appears dateable.

I think cold weather and Christmas music make people crazy.

Then again, maybe it’s the barrage of jewelry

commercials, or the images of couples strolling hand-in-hand, embraced by snowflakes made of everlasting love.

Whatever the case may be, and most likely it is a myriad of factors, there is something intoxicatingly romantic about the holiday season.

The problem, of course, is women rarely handle the overdose well. This is because being single has become indicative of a failed female existence.

When someone is single, no one thinks, “She is so darn independent, I love it. She made a great decision.” No, they say, “I guess no one loves her. I’m so lucky to have my overweight, slightly dumpy, but kind of loveable boyfriend at my side.

I love doing his laundry and making him sandwiches while he sits on the couch.”

Tell me though, who’s the real sucker in this situation?

If you’re currently single, like me, be prepared for pestering friends and family members. Singlehood is viewed as a shortcoming rather than a personal decision. I’d even go so far as to say being

single during the holidays is equivalent of a permanent “X” starkly marked across your face, screaming vehement profanities and other “un-dateable” gestures to potential lovers.

There is something innately wrong with being un-attached during the holidays. It’s like contracting an STD — one that can viciously overtake anyone within 50 feet of you — and you are in quarantine for the rest of the month.

Don’t expect invitations to couple-oriented events. Instead, expect flailing, and usually unwanted, attempts to solve your mid-holiday crisis.

Blind dates are always feasible options, as is the infamous “girls’ night.”

These are usually coordinated by friends in deeply committed, seemingly unending relationships.

They plan these because they feel bad for you.

Should they?

I certainly don’t believe so. Maybe this is because I am enjoying — for one of the first times in my life — a completely single existence during the holidays. This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy the company

They’ve even gone as far as to threaten and coerce (successfully I might add) major multi-national corporations such as Visa, Mastercard and Amazon. com into cutting its ties from the WikiLeaks website; all this, of course, in an attempt to silence the organization for embarrassing our government.

Let me repeat that: Our government, the supposed champion of free speech, is ferociously attempting to silence an organization for embarrassing them.

First let me say that any government which can’t keep their own confidential information confidential deserves by all accounts to be embarrassed so that everyone in the world can call them idiots; it’s how you learn from mistakes.

Second, we are supposed to be telling our government what to do, not the other way around.

With that having been said, it seems throughout the course of this last decade that those in power in this country have increasingly acted on their own will with no regard to

public interests. Just look at healthcare: Democrats passed it even though 70 percent of our country did not want it.

Just this month, the Republicans shot down a bill that would provide free healthcare to 9/11 rescuers who have severe health issues as a direct result of their heroism, a bill that you would have an extremely hard time finding any average citizen to oppose. Our government has failed us, and it is essential that our government’s true agendas be exposed when opportunities arise, because we can no longer trust it. It is essential that they be embarrassed; it is the only way we as citizens can ever keep them in check.

But here comes the scary part. Since this outpour of classified documents

by WikiLeaks, channels for donations to the WikiLeaks organization and website have coincidentally been cut off by financial providers, namely Visa and Mastercard.

Amazon.com cut refused to support the web server for the site after congress

Photo Courtesy of stylecaster.com

If you’re single, please, don’t follow her example. It’s really very unflattering.

of a fine-looking man, but my happiness isn’t reliant upon it.

Or at least it shouldn’t be.

The problem isn’t your friends, or the media or your inner child telling you life will end if you aren’t hitched by Dec. 25.

The problem is you.

Luckily, you are in complete control of you. You can make you happy. You can control who you spend

time with, who you spend time thinking about and who you love.

Holidays should be about family and close friends.

It’s a time to celebrate, not to bathe in the grossly overstated need for a relationship. That’s what pets are for.

And still, many women, and even some men, will feel almost obligated to start a relationship. Relationships are comforting,

All I want for Christmas is my First Amendment

Stephen Farrell sfarrell@uccs.edu Is our government on the track to becoming a danger to us? It seems as though you can’t even take a pee break without hearing about WikiLeaks and its recent divulgence of over 400,000 classified emails between U.S. diplomats concerning the goings-on of numerous world leaders and their agendas.

These documents have already proven to be an embarrassment for our leaders and other world leaders alike. Further, the U.S. government is attempting to get its hands on WikiLeaks’ Australian founder, Julian Assange, for authorizing the release of these documents even though he is not a citizen of this country.

they are consistent, and for many of us, they offer a level of stability not existent in our normal lives.

However, insecurity is not reason enough to date someone once deemed incompatible. Don’t settle.

Raise your standards, raise your self-worth and instead of searching for a boyfriend, search for the perfect gift for your little sister and make her Christmas unforgettable. S

Photo Courtesy of johnbatchelorshow.com

Is Julian Assange the next big thing?!

basically threatened them.

And don’t doubt for a minute that those in power think you’re too stupid to realize what’s going on; there are very likely threats to these companies being made behind closed doors to do what they can to silence this organization in order to avoid further embarrassment. And I have to admit, until now I have never witnessed a case where our country sought to silence others

so vehemently out in the open as what’s happening now. It’s truly disgusting, and it should anger you.

If these kinds of shenanigans by our government are deemed acceptable, then mark my words, it’s now only a matter of time until we see newspapers, news websites and cable news networks restricted by law on what they can report. It would only be a matter of time until free speech as we now know

it would end. And correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what’s supposed to set us apart from other nations? It seems as though we only champion free speech when it benefits us, or embarrasses anyone else… except for us.

Once the limb of free speech is cut from us, the government controls us.

And as we have seen in times past, a government that controls its people is dangerous to its people. S

the

Scribble

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.”

-Student Press Law Center

Santa gets caught with his pants down Cherise Fantus cfantus@uccs.edu Santa Clause has definitely made the naughty list this year. After having been caught shoplifting last week, his tawdry affair with an elf has been uncovered this week.

The two were caught in his sleigh by one of the reindeer.

The illicit affair between Santa and his elf, Olivia, has apparently been going on for quite sometime, according to the elf herself. “He loves me,” she said, “He just can’t leave that fat old wench of a wife of his for publicity reasons, otherwise we would totally be

together for real.”

On Sunday, as Blitzen went out to the sleigh in search of his lost cell phone, he caught the two doing unspeakable acts.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look either of them in the eye again,” said the reindeer. “What I saw in there can never be erased from my memory. Some of the things they were doing must certainly be illegal,” he furthered.

The pair made up some lame excuse about falling, but the reindeer said, “Nobody falls in that position!” They tried to convince Blitzen not to say anything, but he couldn’t let sweet Mrs.

The news in brief Rekindling the holiday spirit

A new Blackberry application not only lets you track Santa’s movements on Christmas Eve but gives students a direct link with the elves and Rudolph and the barrel-chested man himself. The app, which was created by UCCS alum, Christian Loomburg, is expected to restore the magic of Christmas to college-age students who no longer believe. Students already familiar with it claim, “It’s like the magic eight-ball of Santa Claus, any question you ask is answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ It’s been really helpful.” According to Loomburg, “I want this app to be the snow globe of this generation.”

UCCS students, particularly gullible theatre and art students, are excited for and willing to accept the possibilities of Santa-human communication.

Hook up or fail out of school

With the looming holidays, students are under added pressure to hook up and be in relationships. As Susan Sheepsker explained, “My teacher came up to me after class and said I wouldn’t get a ‘A’ unless I started dating this boy who sits in front of me.” According to other students, employees at both The Overlook and The Lodge have either stopped serving single students food or have added unnecessary spices and flavors to make the meals taste poorly. Freshmen have even received notes from RAs directing their relationship actions and threatening students with write ups and drug busts. One student was seen crying in the library after a research assistant refused her service because she was single.

Holiday cheer and goodness on campus

Little red stockings have recently been found in both Columbine and the University Center. Five UCCS students have discovered the stockings, which are the color of poinsettias with pure white fringe along the top. According to Sam Johnson, “I found mine in the boy’s bathroom on the third floor in the last urinal!” As shared by the lucky students, the stockings contain gift certificates to Starbucks, five gold coins and a magical ornament that grants three wishes. An expected 8 stockings are left to be found. At this point, no one but the white-bearded custodian frequently seen in Columbine could be responsible for the good deeds and charitable activities.

Student Studies too hard, forgets name

A student was found curled up in the fetal position under a desk in an empty classroom in Columbine Hall on Monday. He could not form complete sentences; he just mumbled incoherent jibberish when asked his name. Emergency services were called, and when they arrived, they determined that the student was in shock. After studying for 72 straight hours with no sleep, subsisting on caffeine alone, freshman Jeremy Travors could no longer remember his own name. He wandered into a nearby classroom, where he remained until he was discovered the following morning. He has been treated, got a full night’s sleep and is expected to complete all of his finals this week.

-Scribe Staff

Clause continue to be betrayed like that.

Mrs. Clause couldn’t be reached for comment, but she has moved out of the North Pole and is staying with family in California.

According to close friends of hers, she will not be returning to the North Pole and is planning on filing for divorce, despite Santa’s desperate pleas and incessant phone calls, emails, Facebook posts and text messages.

“He’s a bum!” commented Mrs. Clause’s sister, Mary. “I told her from the beginning that he was bad news. I mean, he makes his living breaking into people’s houses

Photo Courtesy of tlc.howstuffworks.com

This photo was taken just minutes before Santa lost a grip on his trousers once more.

and eating their cookies.

How can you trust a guy who lures little kids into his lap with the promise of free toys?” she added.

TOP TEN

Things to ask Santa for

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

A date

Due to the embarrassment, his upcoming court date and the fact that most of his staff has quit after hearing the news of the

affair, Santa will not be delivering toys this year.

Parents will just have to buy their own gifts and sign Santa’s name. S

Billboard ordered to stop punning Avalon Manly

A copy of the Scribe

amanly@uccs.edu

Finger paints ­— they never get old

A life

A bunny — they’re so cute!

Friends

Your mom – she can’t hide from you forever

A Snuggie

A Kung Zhu — What could be better than a ninja hamster?

An Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action TwoHundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle

-Cherise Fantus

Billboard advertisers across Colorado have been ordered to cease and desist in the use of puns in their enlarged roadside advertisements.

The order springs from the investigation that occurred last month into a number of accidents that took place at the corner of Utah Boulevard and Flower Bed of the Deities Road. The cause for more than 247 of the accidents was found to be a billboard positioned over the intersection, which suggests that shoppers consider tickets to a golf tournament as gift ideas this year, “fore” their loved ones.

Drivers were reported to have read the sign while travelling at approximately 40 or 45 miles per hour, registered the pun and taken their eyes off the road to shake their

heads in disgust, promptly crashing into surrounding buildings or one another.

“It’s just so substandard,” said Kelly McKlienigan, a driver who jumped a curb and took out the front building of a Mexican restaurant when she registered the billboard. “I mean, ‘fore?’

Really? It’s a disgrace to the noble sport of golf.

I’ve come to expect a lot more from punning advertisers.”

Some frequenters of the area, however, are less critical. “Man, I thought it was epic,” explained Jackson Greene, a junior PGM major. “I do a fist pump every morning when I pass the sign on my way to campus.”

The billboard is expected to be removed and replaced with a less atrocious pun by the end of next week. S

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