April 13, 2010

the scribe page 3

English degree requirements changed for Fall 2010

page 3

Kay Wynarsky kwynar@uccs.edu

CULTURE

Blue Iguana Tavern: A college-friendly biker bar?

The CU system is upgrad-

page 4 ing its Student Information

Clash of the Titans: An indulgence of the inner-child

page 4

Basement Rhthym: Making the kids dance

page 5 STUDENT LIFE Miss UCCS in brief

page 8

PARADOX Shmokley dismantles SMGA to standing student ovation

page 9

College Republicans block Obama visit

page 9 Top 10: Student Government write-in candidates

page 9 OPINION | Truth Bombs| Hutaree man-children to the rescue

page 10 | This Week’s Challenge | Social security: A ponzi scheme?

page 10 SPORTS

Softball heads into the final stretch of the season

page 11

System (SIS) to the new Integrated Student Information System (ISIS) in time for registration of Fall 2010 classes. SIS is being discontinued after 20 years of use due to the current software vendor no longer supporting the system.

One of the main differences with the new system is that, before registering, students are required to pay a $200 deposit fee instead of paying 40 percent of their tuition ten days before classes start. The only other time students will pay for their classes will be on the close of registration date, when they will be required to pay the rest of their semester tuition. Students who qualify for financial aid though, will have the fee waived.

Another main feature of ISIS is its “shopping cart” style registration system.

Students will be able to fill a basket with their desired

classes before their designated registration time and submit their desired courses once their allotted time begins. Students will also be able to mitigate the issue of being placed on waitlists by placing more than one section for a course in their basket, so that if one fills up, they will be placed in the next available section.

Developing ISIS for CU has taken two years and cost the CU system approximately $48 million. The cost was distributed evenly across the three campuses (Boulder, Denver and Colorado Springs) and the majority of funding came from CU President’s Office, according to Steve Ellis, executive director of admissions services.

With ISIS, students can review and manage their email and emergency contact information, billing and payment, financial aid, degree audit and register for classes.

Rather than register through the Student Online Center, which will be dissolved after summer registration, Continued on page 3

Referendums for special elections Avalon Manly amanly@uccs.edu

The Student Government Association (SGA) has proposed some revisions to its constitution and possible referendums for the ballot.

The proposed revisions will take the currently 19page document down to 10 pages, ease the funding process for clubs and remove the student body president’s right to veto those proposals once passed. It will also create stricter eligibility and impeachment processes.

Carole Huber’s GES 470 class (“Changing Place”) recently proposed two referendums to SGA, both of which, if passed by house and senate, would be pre-

sented to the student body via special elections.

The first referendum, dubbed “Paperless Scribe,” would require that The Scribe phase out hard copies of its weekly editions entirely by Aug. 2015, and transform to an entirely online format, explained Huber. Due to issues of wording and formal appeal, this referendum has yet to be passed successfully by both house and senate, and, if passed at a later date with a petition, will appear on a special election ballot.

The “Take Back the Tap” initiative sought to eliminate the sale of plastic bottled water on campus. Discrepancies between the phrase “plastic bottled water” and “plastic bottled soda” have delayed this referendum to a slot on a special election ballot, if passed. ◆

April 13 to 19, 2010 [Volume 34; Issue 24]

SGA Elections: Choose who represents you

Executive Branch

‘Take Back The Night’

$200 deposit to register for classes in Fall 2010

It’s election time again, and that means you, the students, get the chance to choose your representation in student government for the 2010-2011 school year. Flip to pages 6 and 7 to see the information The Scribe has compiled to help you make your decision.

Kristina Achey & Samantha Carty President/ Vice President

v.

Daniel Garcia & James Burge President/ Vice President

Javier Ncaraz Student Director of Finance

v.

Evan Shelton Student Director of Finance

Scott Bingham Senator of College of Business

v.

Kai Huntsman Senator of College of Business

Legislative Branch Senate

NEWS

The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs.

v.

Danielle Norris Senator of College of Business

Mari Amoroso Senator of Multicultural Affairs

v.

Jarod Gray Senator of Multicultural Affairs

Kolby Stallings Senator of College of Education

Stephanie West Senator of Nursing

Jordan Orechwa Senator of Public Affairs

Continued on pages 6 & 7

CONTACT | phone: (719) 255 - 3658 | fax: (719) 255 - 3600 | email: scribe@uccs.edu | website: www.uccsscribe.com

2

editorial

April 13 to April 19, 2010

scribe staff

What to expect from the students who represent you

Jackie Parkinson Editor-in-Chief

This year’s election has been a little different from previous elections. We have yet to see that many flyers blocking the sunlight in windows, there are no signs posted in the grass currently and there are fewer people running. But for those who are running, we want to make them aware of one thing: You represent the students.

Student government is not supposed to be a resume builder, and it is not supposed to glorify its members. Student government is around to help the students’ voice on campus be heard and to make change happen.

In other words, the students run student government.

So what should the students expect from their elected officials?

The first thing would have to be respect. All elected officials are brought in by the students and stand for the students, so they should respect the students they represent. Too often, we see officials who stand up for their opinion and their side of the story, but forget that they should be standing up for the students’ opinions and the students’ side of the story.

It is ludicrous for them to

think that their sole opinion is the only one that matters.

This also means being respectful of the viewpoints and efforts of others, no matter what they may be. If we do not have student leaders representing the viewpoints of all of those at UCCS, then how are they going to make decisions for our best interest?

Being respectful does not just mean representing other viewpoints when it is convenient for you. It means representing those viewpoints in every aspect of your life. This includes Facebook, Twitter and all social networking; no matter how private you think your profile is.

If the students you represent see you on Facebook voicing your outrage over an issue, how inclined are they to talk to you about the opposition of that issue? We need leaders who remain open and willing to talk about all viewpoints, no matter what they really think.

This is where student government differentiates from local, state and federal governments. We need to create an inclusive campus, and to do so, it is necessary that all of the voices are heard, and that the members that represent UCCS students remain viewpoint neutral.

Being respectful may be the most important quality needed for a student government representative, but they also must be accountable. While being accountable may just be considered showing up to meetings, it is much more than that. It is showing up (on time) and making a difference.

Doing something about it does not mean writing a resolution, ”working” on an issue, sitting in on another meeting or discussing the issue for hours on end. It is finding the solution and putting it into action.

What we do not see from our representatives is action, and that is what is needed on this campus. We are composed of mainly commuter students who show up when it is convenient for them, and then leave right afterwards. In order to keep them on campus, student government needs to improve the life here on campus.

Too many times during elections we see promises being made, but no actions resulting from the promises.

This is where the students need to step in and voice their concerns. They need to let student government know that they want a better life here on campus, not just empty promises. In order for our student government to improve, we need to have students who care about what they want done on campus, but we need student government members who will listen.

Student government is a cycle. The students elected the SGA members and SGA members make decisions about the students, so it’s necessary for them both to work effectively together.

While being effective is one thing, those represented must realize that they have the power to change quite a few things on this campus.

But do they use it to the best of their ability? That’s a question on which students should speculate when casting votes this year. ◆

striving to present the truth to the students by creating an open forum for opinions and ideas

Editor-in-Chief

Columnists Tim Canon, Steve Farrell, Byron Graham, Veronica Graves, Brock Kilgore

Jackie Parkinson

Managing Editor Tim Canon

Reporters

Rhiannon Conley, Jessica Lynch, Lauren Mueller, Rob Versaw, Averi Walker, Kay Wynarsky

Copy Editor Randy Robinson

Culture Editor

Photographers

Kevin Kassem, Ariel Lattimore, Carrie Woodruff

Avalon Manly

Opinion Editor Byron Graham

Campus News Editor Catherine Jensen

Sports Editor Matthew Crandall

Photo Editor Ariel Lattimore

Advertising Manager Sarah Tindell

Business Manager

Layout Designer Shreya Raj

Cartoonist Arno

Web Designer Dorian Rogers

Marketing Intern Amanda Luchini

Interning Reporter Carly Webb

Interning Photographer James O’Shea IV, Chelsea Bartlett

Distributor Advisor

Robert Rodriguez

Laura Eurich

Information: Archives

Additional copies of the current publication volume will be available in The Scribe office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and beyond.

Letters to the Editor

The Scribe strongly encourages Letters to the Editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 300 words, must be legible and must include the writer’s name and telephone number. Letters must be turned into The Scribe office, emailed or delivered to The Scribe mailbox in the ROAR office by 5 p.m. the Friday before publication. The Scribe reserves the right to reject Letters to the Editor that are libelous or obscene or anonymous, and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, grammatical or spelling errors and AP style guideline errors.

Distribution Policy

The following conduct is prohibited by The Scribe: Publication and News Rack theft. A person commits the offense of publication and/or news rack theft when he or she willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than three copies of an edition of a publication distributed on campus. A “publication” includes any periodical that is distributed on a complimentary basis. A person who violates this provision is responsible for compensating the publication for all reasonable costs incurred, including, where appropriate, the refund of advertising fees.

For more information about The Scribe, email requests to: scribe@uccs.edu

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campus news

April 13 to April 19, 2010

Students take back the night Averi Walker awalker@uccs.edu

Take Back the Night is a longstanding event that encourages awareness about violence against women.

UCCS will be hosting a Take Back the Night event on April 15 that is open to anyone interested in the cause.

The International Take Back the Night website explains, “Take Back the Night became known internationally as a visible way to take a stand against sexual violence, specifically violence against women.”

The campaign was started in response to women’s outrage around the world at the prevalence of rape and murder that make it dangerous for women to be on the streets at night.

The event will be held at the University Center Old Gym from 5:30 to 9:00 p.m. and was organized this year by the Gender Alliance and Liberation club. Caleb

Rainey, one of the members in charge of the event, said, “Take Back the Night was started in the 70s by feminists in order to raise awareness about and help stop the sexual violence that kept women off the streets at night. Now the event seeks

Photo by Ariel Lattimore to stop all forms of sexual and domestic violence, public or private.” According to Rainey, the event will feature students and community speakers who will be reading testimonials, poetry, and participating in activities.

“Take Back the Night was almost cancelled on this

campus last year. This is the first time students are running it though,” said Rainey.

Also closely involved in the event is Sociology Department Instructor Kimberly Holcomb. She has helped find speakers and organize past and present events.

Holcomb reflected, “The event itself gets people talking, which in my book, is always a good thing. I also think the event is important for the empowerment of sexual assault survivors who are participating, or anybody affected by sexual assault in one way or another, and even spectators who view the event. It tells us that we’re not alone, that sexual assault is never OK, and that we have the ability and the visibility to do something about ending it – and this is important – on our own terms.”

Staying true to the historical context of the event, Rainey said the overall tone of the event is rooted in feminism, with a firm stress on the fact that sexual violence is never acceptable. ◆

3

English degree requirements changed for Fall 2010 Lauren Mueller lmueller@uccs.edu

The English department is making some changes to graduation requirements for English students for Fall 2010.

The English faculty has decided to discontinue administering the Senior Comprehensive Exam (SCE), an exam all English majors were previously required to take in order to graduate.

The exam administered on April 23 will be the last SCE administered.

Those English majors graduating in May or August 2010 who declared Professional and Technical Writing requirements and the current Literature, Secondary, Elementary or Special Education requirements before Fall 2009 must take the exam on April 23. Those

graduating in Dec. 2010 or later will be waived from taking the exam.

The English department is currently developing a process for what will occur if someone should fail in April.

The English department has also announced new assessment requirements for a senior portfolio for those graduating with degrees in either Professional and Technical Writing or Rhetoric and Writing, or those students starting in the new tracks: Literature, Secondary Education and Elementary/Special Ed. Pre-licensure.

All requirements for the five different English tracks are available at http://www. uccs.edu/~english//.

All students will continue in their current tracks unless they are new majors.

Those starting or declaring English majors with emphases in Literature, Secondary

Education or Elementary/ Special Ed. Pre-licensure in Fall 2010 will be signing on to new curricula in those emphases.

The English department’s main intention in making the literature changes, according to English Department Chair Rebecca Laroche, was to afford more flexibility.

Instead of specified British and American surveys, they will now require “breadth” courses.

Breadth courses require a larger variety of literature instead of focusing on British or American. Two specific courses have been added to this field.

The senior portfolio required for graduating English students will also vary depending on when a student should choose to adopt a specific track. All requirements for the five different English tracks are available at http://www.uccs. edu/~english//. ◆

$200 deposit to register for classes in Fall 2010 (cont.) students will be required to go through the reformatted myUCCS Portal to sign-up for classes with their school username and password.

There will also be a change in the course numbering for classes. Rather than having course numbers with three digits, a zero will be added on giving them four digits (although some departments on campus already have their numbering this way). The change will

be reflected on transcripts, degree audits and course schedules.

UCCS will implement the new system on April 26, when fall registration starts.

CU Boulder began registering with the ISIS system on April 5 and CU Denver will begin on May 5.

“We are trying to have consistency across the three campuses,” said Greg Augspurger, director of undergraduate programs. “We

want it to be seamless, but it might not be,” said Augspurger.

After CU Boulder delayed its registration by a week to solve last minute kinks and bugs in ISIS, Ellis is hoping UCCS’ success with the system will be better. “Our campus is in a much stronger position; but there still may be tweaks and log-on issues. The IT department is ready if students have problems.” ◆

FUEL UP WITH PREMIUM. NEVADA & AUSTIN BLUFFS

4

culture

April 13 to April 19, 2010

Blue Iguana Tavern: A college-friendly biker bar down the road

Photo by Carrie Woodruff Brock chows down on philly cheese steaks from Blue Iguana: the best in town.

Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu

A good biker bar is like a good motorcycle: Well-built and durable, while representing the open-aired freedom to wander. Both timeless traditions and flowing inertia are well represented at the Blue Iguana Tavern.

The layout is “conventional roadhouse,” with an extensive horseshoe bar along the front bay windows, a few bar tables behind, pool room to the side and sunken stage area to the back. The view is one of the best in town.

While a classic biker bar (it shares the building with a bike shop called Hawg’s), the Blue Iguana is also progressive. The best thing about the place for us is that

it caters to students, seeking to diminish its image as a tattooed-and-leather-clad biker joint. College Night is twice weekly, with beer pong and penny pitchers on Tuesdays (after 9 p.m., it’s $5 for girls, $7 for guys), and ‘80s Night on Thursdays with ‘80s music and prices.

Owner Pat Beard said that several UCCS professors sometimes stop in – after class, of course.

Clash of the Titans: An indulgence of the inner-child MOVIE REVIEW: 3 OUT OF 5 STARS

Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu

I was dreading this experience, having read the condemning reviews from other pundits and minding my knee-jerk suspicion of superfluous remakes, yet I was pleasantly surprised.

Sure, it’s got a dumb script, a leading performance from a human charisma vacuum and not even a shred of originality, but I enjoyed myself enough to recommend “Clash of the Titans” with the important caveat that viewers expect nothing more from the film than a camp-fest.

The cast, which includes such classy British actors as Liam Neeson and Ralph Fi-

ennes, elevates a script overstuffed with stiff one-liners and expositional dialogue, with the unfortunate exception of star Sam Worthington. Worthington (“Avatar”) has enjoyed a banner year headlining blockbusters, and is slated to become Hollywood’s new everyhero, but seldom has a star risen so high for such a perfunctory actor. Distracting Australian accent aside, Worthington is a sentient Ken doll who turns in a performance that can be charitably described as functional. His face is where emotions go to die.

Despite its wooden lead actor and reliance upon studio hackery, “Clash of the Titans” manages to recapture some of the magic of the original, and will likely stir the imaginations of today’s youngest filmgoers and introduce a new generation to classical myths that form the backbone of the story. The endurance of the Greek mythology, particularly the tale of Titan’s hero, Perseus, is a testament to its archetypal resonance.

Don’t bother seeing “Ti-

tans” in the 3-D format. The filmmakers shot in 2-D, and after watching it, I must say that some of the movie’s clumsier CGI sequences would most certainly not benefit from an extra dimension. By most accounts, the post-production conversion is a carelessly executed money-grab by studios and distributors alike, so you can skip the glasses without skimping on the visual experience.

Whether or not you decide to skip “Clash of the Titans” is a question of innerchild indulgence: Do you recoil from the hackneyed dialogue and shoddy, crassly commercial filmmaking, or daydream about taking to the skies on the back of a winged Pegasus? ◆

Clash of the titans Rated ‘PG-13’ 118 minutes Adventure Starring Liam Neeson and Sam Worthington

The entrance to the bar is within the patio to the left of the bike shop. Inside, the jukebox is loud, but not so loud as to prohibit conversation.

The bar has an Elvis pinball machine, a “Big Buck Hunter” game, virtual bowling and well-placed sports TVs, which means there’s entertainment for any persuasion. The Internet jukebox adorns the wall, but I must admit that the infinite variety at ridiculous prices is much less fun than the classic parameters of quarter play. Without spending a dime, however, I was treated to the Beatles, Al Green and Steely Dan. Not a bad afternoon mix.

The food is, well, really good bar food. Simple classics like the signature sandwich the Philly Steak, made with quality ingredients and care, have no substitute.

Portions and prices for appetizers and sandwiches are similar across the menu, so expect more-than-you-caneat sizes of everything for $5 to $9.

The full-sized Knuckle-

head Nachos, Fried Zucchini Wheels and multicolored chips and salsa stand out on the appetizer side of the menu. All sandwiches can come with the housemade, hand-cut fries, which are fantastic alone or smothered in green chile, cheese and sour cream.

The Burnout Burger with jalepenos, pepper jack and a fried onion ring, and the Julius Cheezer with swiss, cheddar, American and pepper jack lead the burger pack. The Biker Club Sandwich, prepared by the nice weekend bartender Lauren, might be the best I have ever had, with hand-cut meats and attention to detail.

The Blue Iguana has more than atmosphere, food and drinks. Live music every Friday night utilizes the nice stage setup and house PA. Last year, the first annual Punk Fest was met with a PBR-induced frenzy of pent-up Colorado Springs punk aggression, and will continue this year. Having grown up on punk in our anemic scene, I know that good local punk shows are

like fine wine – rare and to be relished. And a whole Punk Fest, well, is like allyou-can-eat king crab legs with all-you-can-drink Pilsner Urquell.

Truth be told, I like the Blue Iguana because much of my childhood was spent in a bar just like it. Black Forest in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s was full of bikers.

My father worked way too hard as a single dad, so quite often we went to the local tavern after work and school so that he could unwind.

Before you judge him, me or biker bars, know that I learned more about human nature in those times than any since. I was well-fed and cared for, always had change for the juke box and video games, and am still cared for by an extended family that has become as important as my own. ◆

Blue Iguana 4325 North Nevada (719) 260-9309 4 out of 5 Stars

culture

April 13 to April 19, 2010

5

Basement Rhythm: Local DJs make the kids dance Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu

Brought together by their passion for music, four roommates at UCCS turned their obsession into a promise they aptly named “Basement Rhythm.” The group is comprised of aspiring DJs and music junkies Jordan Arp (DJ Arpeggio), Andrew Cratty (DJ Detention), Matt Fryc, and Nick Junker (NickTunes).

Basement Rhythm formed, as explained by Arp, in order “to create a weekly music show that would start to excite more people about dance music, and get them away from the same old songs on the radio,” for – as we have all experienced – the repition of commercials and songs on the radio is painful.

From Napster to turntables, these DJs developed their musical styles and passions over the years. Some members, like Cratty, enjoy Basement Rhythm because it gives them a reason to

blast their favorite music and spend time with close friends doing something they all love.

By definition, dance music is composed, played, or both, specifically for social dancing. Basement Rhythm uses genres such as electro house, trance, progressive house, techno and underground hip-hop to guide our innate urge to dance.

That motivation urged the group to create a Facebook page and website this last year. Currently with 192 fans, the page provides free weekly downloads and information on upcoming events.

More than anything, the group’s members are dedicated to sharing their talents, beats and creativity with willing listeners. As Cratty described, “It’s the best feeling ever to see a big group of people dancing, loving the music you’re playing, and just having a good time.”

Similarly, Arp loves to work the crowd, manipulating his music to create the perfect vibe. Sarah Buckner, a UCCS student, praised

Photo by James O’Shea IV Andrew Cratty (left), Jordan Arp, and Nicholas Junker work DJ equipment during one of their sessions.

Basement Rhythm, saying, “They were perfect for our party.”

However, before the dancing can begin, members of Basement Rhythm spend long hours listening, downloading, and finding new music with which to mix. Sometimes, as Arp explained, “finding new songs

can take nearly a week,” especially when trying to mix music no one has heard before.

Since the group’s launch in October, both the interest in electronic music and the group’s download numbers continue to increase. As commented by Brian Kramer, a UCCS student and

welcome guest to Basement Rhythm, “I think the group is a great idea. Too rarely do we see a small group of people really working hard toward a shared passion.”

As Kramer also explained, few people realize that what they might consider to be “the popular” music is actually based off House and

“ROCK ‘N’ ROLL FANS OF EVERY GENDER AND GENERATION WILL IDENTIFY WITH THIS.”

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

“THIS IS AN ANTHEM TO THOSE YOUNG WOMEN WHO WOULDN’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.”

Do...

–A.O. Scott, THE NEW YORK TIMES

Dance tracks.

The group hopes to erase the confusion involving the influence of house and dance music and help people embrace the dirty beats and well-crafted riff-lines of these genres. To read more about the DJs and download new mixes go to www.BasementRhythm.com. ◆

Averi Walker awalker@uccs.edu

1.

Create a preferred friends list. From your homepage, click “Friends” in the navigation. Then, on the left under “Lists,” click “+Create.”

“STEWART AND FANNING HAVE NEVER BEEN STRONGER.”

2.

Monitor all your privacy settings. Go to “Account.” Select “Privacy Settings.” Go through every section and make use of the “Customize” option under the tab that determines who is allowed to see what content. Also, be sure to read the privacy agreements carefully.

“‘THE RUNAWAYS’ GETS EVERYTHING RIGHT.”

3.

Filter and limit your photos posted. Don’t forget that other people can post unflattering pictures – including images of last Saturday’s drunken party. Social media and Public Relations Expert Dr. Stephanie Blake said, “In addition to the fact that employers and potential employers may search for you via Facebook, all it takes is a couple of clicks to save posted photos on hard-drives.”

4.

Use messages instead of comments for personal conversations. CyberPsychology & Behavior found that disclosure on Facebook was significantly predicted by a need for popularity, an interesting thing to consider during disclosure.

–Thelma Adams, US WEEKLY

–Michael Phillips, CHICAGO TRIBUNE

–Mick LaSalle, SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

“SEE IT!”

–A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips, AT THE MOVIES

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STARTS FRIDAY, APRIL 16 4.59” X 8" (circle one:)

Created by:

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COLORADO SPRINGS - UCCS THE SCRIBE Artist:

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TUE 4/13 ART APPROVED

Use foul, profane or threatening language.

Friend your extremely conservative family members or friends if you aren’t willing to be discrete all the time.

Accept friend requests from people you don’t know.

Believe that the delete button erases anything completely. ◆

6

news

April 13 to April 19, 2010

SGA candidates pledge to avoid giving candy to children and to show up to the office President & Vice President Candidates

Platform:

Accountability: Community: Honesty:

Kristina Achey, President

Daniel Garcia, President

Year: Senior Major: English SGA experience: House Treasurer ‘09-’10 Accountability: 85 percent

Year: Senior Major: Political Science Minor: Sustainable Development SGA Experience: SGA President ‘09-’10; Senator of LAS, ‘08-’09 Accountability: Removed from Public Relations Committee ‘08-’09

Samantha Carty, Vice President

James Burge, Vice President

Year: Senior Major: English SGA experience: House Treasurer ‘09-’10 Accountability: 92 percent

Year: Junior Major: Communication SGA Experience: SGA Vice President ‘09-’10 Accountability: Not required to attend meetings.

Holding leaders and students accountable Increasing student involvement Transparency and open leadership

Goals: Accountable leadership: “We need to hold ourselves and

each other accountable in the areas of attendance, participation and dedication,” said Carty. “We are here to represent the students, get things accomplished for the campus community and ensure that all students have their voices heard, whether it be by us at SGA or some other organization on campus.

While SGA affords its members with invaluable leadership experience, this association should not be looked at as merely a resumé booster.”

True representation: Carty and Achey would like to implement monthly or bi-monthly student polls in collaboration with member and committee reports to find out what’s going on around campus.

Community: They would like to see increased awareness and

participation of SGA within campus life and student involvement in other areas of campus.

Fiscal responsibility: “We are looking to compare the Budget

Advisory Committee of UCCS to some of our peer institutions and to look with careful eyes at our past to see what would be the best course of action for our future guidelines and actions,” said Achey.

Sustainability: Achey and Carty would like to see the continuation of the sustainability initiative and work being done with campus groups to create a more sustainable campus, part of that being moving toward paperless as much as possible for SGA, including the possibility of electronic meeting agendas and online club funding proposals.

Sustainability Check: 100% recycled campaign flyers.

Platform:

Community: Building spirit and prride Affordability: Keeping students in school Sustainability: Keeping UCCS “green.”

Goals: Student Involvement: Garcia and Burge said they hope to increase involvement not only on campus, but in Student Government as well. This includes attending meetings, being aware of what SGA is doing and coming to representatives to express concerns.

Affordability: When addressing affordability, Burge said he and Garcia are looking at undertaking a study that will examine the viability of having rented books.

According to Sharon Coddington, the Book Division Manager of the UCCS Bookstore, the idea of offering a rented books program to students had been talked about for the last couple years. Due to a unilateral effort by the bookstore, the new program will finally commence next fall. “Our system will be ready to go for next fall and we are looking forward to seeing how students like it,” Coddington said.

Sustainability: “Not only is sustainability important to keep costs down, but it is the right thing to do on a moral level,” said Garcia. “We will push for Sodexo to buy food from local farmers and local vendors instead of transporting their ingredients from a company outside the state.”

“To think that we could get all our food locally is unrealistic,” said Sodexo General Manager Russ Saunkeah. “But I would love to talk to [Daniel and James] about this issue and share some of this information with them.”

Saunkeah, who has met with Garcia a number of times this year to discuss sustainability issues, added, “We have a lot of companies we work with in-state,” listing off beef, flank steak, mushrooms, dairy products, potatoes, salads, tomatoes, tortillas and tortilla chips, sausage, chicken, honey, lentils, and cucumbers as just some of the 147 items Sodexo bought locally during March.

Sustainability Check: Non-recycled cardstock campaign flyers.

Accountability percentages out of possible meetings attended. Excused, unexcused, late, proxied or unattended meetings counted against the total.

Information compiled by Tim Canon, Matthew Crandall and Catherine Jensen. Photos by Ariel Lattimore.

news

April 13 to April 19, 2010

7

Student Director of Finance Candidates Javier Alcarez

Why Run? “I am a business student so this position will apply my talents very well. I am currently an honor student and already have great experience in SGA.” Goals: “Attendance policies and participation with SGA needs to be addressed. Create budgets and create more accountability within SGA. The budget and funds allocation needs to be overlooked to avoid the shortages this year with clubs.”

Evan Shelton

Why Run? Re-election, experience in the position.

Goals: “Reformat budget guidelines, making club funding easier, and having plenty of time to

Year: Junior SGA Experience: Senator at Large ‘07-’08; Senator of Business ‘09-’10 Accountability: 100% Year: Senior SGA Experience: House, Director of Finance ‘09-’10 Accountability: 100%

complete everything ahead of schedule as to not run to the last second to get things done.”

Changes: “Accountability in student government. Betterment for the campus, I am the creator of the newly formed standing committee ‘Campus Safety Committee.’”

Scott Bingham Year: Junior SGA Experience: House ‘09-’10 Accountability: 63%

Year: Junior SGA Experience: Volunteer work with CSU’s student government

Senator of College of Business Candidates Kai Huntsman

Goals: “Talk to constituents, the people I rep-

Goals: “One of my goals is to increase the amount of participation in club activities and events here on campus. To get people excited about what else is going on at their school other than just classes.”

resent. See what they want. My goal is to see that their voice is heard. Actually getting out and talking to people. I would go out and talk to them, not just have office hours and have them come to me.”

Changes: ”I want to change the feeling of how the campus is a commuter campus. College is about meeting people, creating new relationships and friendships that you can carry on throughout your entire life.”

Greatest challenge: “Making scheduling easier for juniors and seniors to get certain classes.”

Danielle Norris

Year: Junior SGA Experience: None

Goals: “If elected my main goal will be to create additional educational programs for student in relation to business. No matter which major a person has decided on, the knowledge of business will affect your life.”

Greatest challenge: “I am known for having an excessive amount of passion for the goals I set for myself. The challenge that I anticipate will be in having the ability to multiply my passion throughout UCCS.”

Senator of Multicultural Affairs Candidates Mari Amoroso

Why run? “I have chosen multicultural affairs because I am a foreign student from South Africa. I would like to increase the activities for all the activities here at UCCS.” Goals: “My major goal would be to make sure all cultures are heard and that we learn to accept other cultures with their activities and needs.”

Jarod Gray

Why run? “I really think it’s time for the position to be held by some one that has experience in both student government and the multicultural issues that affect our campus.”

Goals: “Diversity floor in Alpine Village, holding a Social Justice Fair, more gender neutral bathrooms, push for the goals that social justice groups want and need.”

Year: Sophomore SGA Experience: None

Year: Sophomore SGA Experience: House ‘09-’10 Accountability: 46%

*Senator of Multicultural Affairs Candidate Tatyana Thomas was not available for interview as of print.

Senator of Nursing Candidate Stephanie West

Year: Junior SGA Experience: Senate ‘09-’10 Accountability: 87%

Why run? “I am already the current Senator of Nursing and want to return again. I understand everything the position entails and I have proven I can do the work.”

Goals: “I want to see University Hall be more a part of the UCCS campus. I want to get some kind of food service down there too for students.”

Senator of Public Affairs Candidate Jordan Orechwa

Year: Freshman SGA Experience: none

Why run? “I like being able to have an influence and affect on important matters and situations.

I have a lot of experience in political debate and I am going to try and continue with fair representation of all people.”

Goals: “ I want to make sure to fairly put forth the concerns of the community and people first and keep representations of people fair.”

Senator of College of Education Candidate Kolby Stallings

Year: Junior SGA Experience: Incumbent ‘09-’10 Accountability: 90%

Goals: “I hope to get more of the education students involved in campus and with SGA. I would like for most if not all of the students in the education program to know who I am and be able to voice their concerns about the college and university to me.”

Greatest challenge: “Getting my name out to the students so they know who to come to.”

Representatives at Large

Open Positions

Nerissa England

Experience House ‘08-’10

Accountability Resigned 1/29/2010

Matthew Holdt

House ‘08-’09

N/A

Albert Marle

None

N/A

Kevin Song

None

N/A

Emily Tamayo

None

N/A

Senator of Residence Hall Association

Jay Taylor

House ‘08-’10

100%

(9) Representatives at Large

Diana Timmerman

None

N/A

Alex Wilkening

None

N/A

Contact the ROAR Office for more information.

Senator of College of Engineering Senator of College of Graduate School

student life

miss uccs in brief:

Christina Perez won the title of Miss UCCS on April 8. Brittany Reese took first runner-up and Ashley Cornelius took second runner-up.

Photo by Carrie Woodruff

quote of the week: “Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.” ~ Franklin P. Adams

email quotes of the week to: scribelayout@gmail.com

sudoku puzzles

the first person to bring both of these completed sudoku puzzles will receive a $10 La’au’s Tacos gift card. bottom floor UCenter rm.

106

2 very hard

tues: 4/13

wed: 4/14

thurs: 4/15

fri: 4/16

sat: 4/17

sun: 4/18

mon: 4/19

Bookstore Inventory Sale

Bookstore Inventory Sale

Bookstore Inventory Sale

Bookstore Inventory Bash the Bluffs, meet @ Sale Rec Center

Bookstore Inventory Sale

Bookstore Inventory Sale

Eating Disorders: A Personal and Clinical Perspective @ UC 116a 4 p.m.

Bookstore Student Appreciation

Bookstore Student Appreciation

Last day to order cap Bookstore Inventory and gowns @ The Sale Bookstore

Relax on the Lawn @ West Lawn 1 p.m.

Get Fit Club @ Rec Center 12 p.m.

Student Commuter Donuts @ Columbine 7:30 a.m.

Bike Tuning Workshop @ Campus Rec 6 p.m.

Step Aerobics @ Rec Center 5:30 p.m.

Student Short Film Festival @ UC Theater 6 p.m.

weekly calendar

Edible Book Festival @ Kraemer Family Library 6 p.m.

Rodney Atkins @ The Grizzly Rose 6 p.m.

Time Management and Note Taking @ UC 116a 4 p.m.

B.B. King @ Temple Hoyne Buell Theater, Denver 8 p.m.

satire : irony : hilarity

- Student Press Law Center

Shmokley dismantles SMGA to standing student ovation

Top Ten

vgraves@uccs.edu

the news is full of contradictions

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.”

Veronica Graves

paradox the

Student Government elections write-in candidates

10 9

Ozzy Osbourne – Vice President Everyone in the administration tries to do their best to keep this guy away from microphones.

Bruce Willis – Campus police The people you see by the side of the curb will be parking violators.

Veronica Graves [vgraves@uccs.edu]

Students rose in a standing ovation this Monday as Chancellor Anne Shmokley officially disbanded the Student Mock Governance Association (SMGA).

The group had hitherto gathered weekly to “play with fake student money,” as one disgruntled student put it. Shmokley disrobed the group with the comment, “Students previously in the SMGA need to get a better grasp on reality. The real world does not pay you for doing nothing.”

Unfortunately for some members of SMGA, this dismantling was a bit of a “paradigm shift.” Students formerly in the SMGA have reportedly been seen wandering aimlessly around campus ever since the announcement was made, lost and clueless as to what they should do next. “It must be hard for them,” a student commented. “They have to get used to not having anyone to pretend-boss around or speak condescendingly to.”

According to Shmokley, this was a particularly hard blow to any student hoping to run for a mock position in the future. “The elections were very close, making this disbanding even more disappointing.”

The now-ragtag, former student mock governors are quickly becoming known campus-wide as the SMGA Zombies.

The forlorn, lost look in their eyes paired with the drooling, and wandering ways, frightened one woman so badly that she called campus police claiming that she was under zombie attack. By the time the police showed up in their zombie-proof Priuses, the woman had calmed down, realizing that the ‘zombies’ were only disoriented SMGA members.

The Zombies can most often be identified by speech patterns (condescending tone, valley girl or metro), clothing (Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, Express and Gap), or personal items such as iPhones and sports cars. According to campus police, “The number one thing to look for will be whether or not these items were bought by the individual’s parents.”

“The student mock governors will adjust over time; we must be patient with them,” Shmokley said in her speech, “They have been living in a bubble for far too long.” ✪

College Republicans block Obama’s visit to UCCS

Randy Robinson [rrobinso@uccs.edu]

The College Republicans club has banded together to prevent President Barack Obama from visiting UCCS. The event, originally scheduled for April 20, would give the President the opportunity to discuss the goals of the recently passed Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act to campus staff, faculty and students who actually care. It would be Obama’s second visit to UCCS since his presidential campaign in 2008.

The College Republicans, however, were not pleased by the president’s announcement. The club insisted that it was only fair that Obama be kept from coming to UCCS, since conservative pundit Ann Coulter was recently barred from speaking at the University of Ottawa by protesting students.

“If [Coulter] can’t speak because of a bunch of whiny students, then why should Hussein Obama?” asked Penelope Mason. “It’s not like she’s made thinly-veiled death threats against her fellow Americans or anything.”

In order to block Obama’s visit, the College Republicans have written a slew of letters to the CU Regents, to members of UCCS’s administration, to city officials, and even to the Colorado Springs Police. They’ve requested road blocks, yellow tape, and officer-assisted detours in order to keep the president’s motorcade from reaching campus grounds. “We’re hopeful that our city will stand beside us,” remarked Joel Blophanich of the College Republicans. “If they don’t, Rush Limbaugh has agreed to sit in the middle of the street to keep the president’s limo from riding up.”

Meanwhile, the College Democrats, while supportive of Obama’s policies, were unable to make up their minds as to whether or not to disrupt the College Republicans’ blockade. Several centrist members of the College Democrats were in support of the blockade on the grounds that the president’s visit “went too far” or was “unconstitutional.” But most of the College Democrats simply wanted to stay out of the way. “Honestly, I just don’t want to get beat up,” noted Phillip Keeley.

“I know that when it’s time to throw down, one side will already have a game plan and the other will have to discuss it ad nauseum. And the people on my side typically aren’t sports fans.” ✪

8

Master Chief – Secretary of Defense He is rumored to have been seen with a flame thrower near a truck that was illegally parked last semester.

7

Leprechaun – Treasurer Although there is evidence that the treasurer is taking a good deal of the funds, no one has been able to catch him.

6 5

Spock – President of Research and Development Working hard with UCCS to develop inter-dimensional parking so that an infinite number of cars can park in the same spot.

Edward Cullen – Head of the Student Health Center He uses archaic health techniques (like bleeding), but many students clam that they feel a lot better and can party all night, and only at night.

4 3 2

Mario – In charge of traffic He will take down all the speed limit signs and replace them with racing paraphernalia.

The Live Action Role Playing Club In a short amount of time they will establish an effective death star.

Ronald McDonald – Head of Cafeteria Services

Oddly enough, Chinese, pizza, and sub sandwiches are all slated to come in the form of hamburgers.

1

Zac Efron – President

He will spend his days calling in every female member of the student body to ask if he can take pictures of her. ✪

10 opinion

April 13 to April 19, 2010

|Truth Bombs| Hutarees to the rescue: What’s with all the militias, man?

Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu

The Hutaree, an antigovernment Christian militia group with roots in the Midwest, were indicted on charges of seditious conspiracy and attempted use of weapons of mass destruction as well as teaching and demonstrating the use of explosive materials after

the FBI raided outposts in Michigan and Indiana.

An undercover FBI agent permeated the Hutaree ranks and ascertained that the group planned to murder a police officer and then car bomb the funeral procession or another police gathering in the first strike of an intended war with the US government. Members were reportedly moving forward with their so-called covert reconnaissance mission before the raids on March 27th.

While the Hutaree’s official website offers little insight into the charges its 9 highest ranking members currently face, it does illuminate some of the ideology that motivated their allegedly treasonous ambitions.

To begin with, despite

their expansive private armories, the Hutaree are unduly terrified of unlikely looming crises, such as the implementation of a oneworld government and the arrival of the antichrist.

Self-styled “Christian Warriors,” the Hutaree’s disparate members convene in Michigan’s vast woodlands, bedecked in full camouflage for firearm and armageddon-preparedness training every month.

Convinced that police officers belong to a secretive “brotherhood,” Hutaree rifleman Joshua John Clowe wrote in a web post last month that all law enforcement personnel are “the enforcement arm of the enemy.” The master plan of David Stone, Sr., the Hutaree’s leader, or “Radok” accord-

ing to their arbitrary ranking system, was to create a Colonial Christian Republic in a Michigan county and wage war with a one-world army.

The militia movement, largely dormant since the Clinton administration, has

Should we even have militias anymore? I mean, I think we’re safe from the Redcoats now. witnessed a recent explosion in membership. Since the election of Barack Obama, at least 369 new militia have sprouted across the country, each with specific goals and

philosophies, but unified by an irrational fear of government takeover couple with a worshipful love of firearms.

The only person who loves guns more than a militia member is a hyper caffeinated 10-year old boy at a Michael Bay movie.

While unfair to conflate the cultish Hutaree with the majority of militia groups, it’s an easy enough mistake to make. Almost immediately after the Hutaree story broke, representatives from the Oath Keepers to the Michigan Volunteer Militia alike rushed to distinguish themselves from their recently arrested brothers in arms.

Indeed, the Hutaree homesite links to a number of area militia organizations with whom their members

have trained, but each of the groups listed profess their ignorance of the offending group’s intentions or beliefs.

I would readily, if reluctantly, concede that most militia members do not currently pose a threat to the nation at large, and amount to little more than nervy, conspiratorial man-children who never grew out of playing “army” with their buddies. As a general fan of freedom, I respect their 2nd Amendment protections.

However, the question of their relevancy in the 21st century, especially when considering the palpable threat posed by the fringes of the movement, remains.

Should we even have militias anymore? I mean, I think we’re safe from the Redcoats now. ◆

|This Week’s Challenge| Social Security: The biggest Ponzi Scheme ever?

Stephen Farrell sfarrell@uccs.edu

What is a Ponzi scheme?

Most of us can recall a certain Bernie Madoff who, after about 4 decades, cheated thousands of wealthy investors out of what ultimately amounted to billions of dollars. He did this by using a Ponzi scheme which ultimately landed him a 100 year+ prison sentence. The term “Ponzi” was coined after an Italian immigrant named Charles Ponzi, who

was sentenced to 5 years in federal prison after having been found guilty of defrauding investors out of millions of dollars on November 1st, 1920. At the time, it was the largest financial crime ever committed in U.S. history. A Ponzi scheme works like this: New investors invest their money with whoever is running the scheme, when the guy running the scheme finds more investors to do the same; he immediately pays back his first investors with the funds from the newer investors.

Ultimately the entire entity is insolvent (or unable to pay back every one of its investors at any given time) and when the influx of new investors ceases to exist, the scheme ends and collapses as all the newer investors are left empty handed.

That said, allow me to introduce the largest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history: So-

cial Security. Now, if you ever log onto the Social Security Administration’s website, you will most likely find that everything about social security isn’t very far off from a “happy joy” theme of a Disney movie. And to tell you the truth, I personally wouldn’t be surprised if Bambi and Thumper themselves hopped right off the monitor and started singing to you.

Their press releases boast about the decrease in hearing backlogs, President Obama’s divinity for showering it with a 12.5 billion dollar increase, and my personal favorite: the cast of The Patty Duke Show.

The truth of matter is that the new investors of social security, the younger generations of tax payers, will never see the money they put in until they are old or disabled. And even though everyone has a Social Secu-

rity account that does not make those accounts payable.

Theoretically, if Social Security were required to pay every social security account today, it would go bankrupt and cease to exist. And I don’t know about you, but when I see a Ponzi scheme requesting billions more from the government to keep it afloat, I’m inclined to start thinking that the scheme most likely collapsed a long time ago and that Social Security is now nothing more than a free hand out from the government to citizens of the United States. In which case, why are we still even paying a tax on it when the government’s willing to subsidize it no matter what? Socialism! (Woops, you’ll have to excuse that last claim, as my jittery caffeine ridden fingers accidentally slipped on the keyboard there for a

moment.)

For those actually interested in this subject, I encourage you to check out more on it through the following link at businessweek.com:

www.businessweek.com.

Is Social Security nothing more than a dead Ponzi scheme turned into a government handout? You make the call. ◆

sports

April 13 to April 19, 2010

11

Softball team heads into the final stretch of the spring season

Photos by James O’Shea IV

Left: Freshman Lara Mathewson hits the game winning hit against Colorado Mines.

Middle: The UCCS softball team huddles up during practice.

Right: Senior Stacy Ortiz guns a pitch against Chadron State.

Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu

The UCCS Softball Team plays the most games of any athletic team on campus.

The Mountain Lions play throughout the spring, which often leads to games being cancelled due to bad weather. Despite the weather, they consistently suit up amd show up for every

game. “We try to get the lead out every inning, to score first, win every inning, have fun, stay positive, and to leave it all out on the field,� Freshman Melissa DeWitt said.

The girls realized that if they can achieve this they may have a better shot of qualifying for the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference Tournament.

DeWitt also explained how competition in the RMAC can be difficult, and said,

“I think that the competition both in and out of the RMAC is very competitive.

We faced some really good teams when we traveled to Las Vegas at the beginning of the season. A lot of them were ranked in the top 25 nationally. There are also teams within the RMAC that are also ranked in the top 25. RMAC teams have very good hitting, and every game we have to be ready to play top level softball. Anybody can beat anybody else

on any given day. You have to show up and be ready to play.�

The team has worked hard over the winter to be able to compete with other schools and play at the level that’s required to be successful. “During the winter, we had 6 a.m. practices three times a week that were specifically for conditioning and strength. We also had individual practices. During those times we were able to focus on what we needed to

improve individually rather than as a whole,� said DeWitt.

This work has helped the team with some of the problems that plagued them last spring. �Last spring, there were a lot of injuries on the team and a lot of people who were playing out of position. This spring, there are a lot more girls and each position has more than one girl who is able to play there.

I feel like we are better than last year. There is so much

talent on our team, and everyone really knows how to play softball. I think that we are still growing each game and are learning more about how to work together as a team as the season progresses,� explained DeWitt.

The Mountain Lions have earned an 11-20 record with a recent winning streak, succeeding in seven out of their last eleven games.

UCCS will travel to Grand Junction to take on Mesa State and Fort Lewis. â—†

TURNS OUT,

PIGS ☞ ☞ FLY! CAN

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