the scribe
A Look Inside the ISSUE
The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. February 9 to February 15, 2010 [Volume 34; Issue 17]
Improvement and good intentions at The Lodge
NEWS
The Case of the Filched Flat-Screens: SENG burgled
page 4
CULTURE
Students enjoy the improved atmosphere during dinner. The new fair trade coffee The Lodge offers sits invitingly for thirsty students. Ariel Lattimore
Sweeney: Bloody FAC play
page 8
Averi Walker awalker@uccs.edu
Movie Review: When in Rome
page 8
recycled aluminum brewing equipment. The coffee is fair trade, and brings a new taste to the campus. Coincidentally, the brand’s green packaging also matches the new green paint in The Lodge. A new brand of tea has been introduced as well. Nine flavors of Numi Tea are replacing Tazo, a change which Food Service General Manager Russ Saunkeah hopes will be well-received by students. The dining services, according to Saunkeah, are also concerned with bringing students new and healthier meal options. In addition to vegan and vegetarian op-
tions, this semester’s meal theme will be Vietnamese. Beginning in March, The Lodge will feature recipes inspired by famous chef Main Pham. “Nowadays, students are much more sophisticated in their tastes,” Saunkeah says, citing sushi’s popularity as an example. Creative cuisine is also available for non-resident students through the Cinch program, which allows nonresident students to purchase meals plans. Also being introduced this semester, starting Feb. 8, is the American Regional Comfort Food Program. The program aims to bring
students a variety of recipes that they are familiar with, while adding a little twist to keep the food interesting. UCCS will be one of 20 pilot schools for the program. According to surveys, students want options like Mediterranean and Italian to be more available. “To keep things interesting during the semester is our goal,” said Saunkeah. To keep the program nutritional, Sodexo enlists the help of campus nutritionist instructors Nanna Mayer and Jackie Berning. The recommendations for additions and changes are brought to the dining service through the help of the
National Student Board of Directors, of which UCCS student Aaron Novy is a member. The Resident Food Advisory Board also meets once a month on campus. The board includes people like RHA members, Housing Administrators, and Novy. Sodexho plans an array of activities for diners, among them open mic nights and the upcoming celebrity waiter event. For the celebrity waiter event, to be held on Feb. 17, The Lodge will host a formal, three-course meal for resident diners where campus administrators will act as servers. ◆
|The Lucid Line | Kidney for sale!
The dining services at The Lodge are bringing students new products, nutritious meal options and an array of activities. The most recent addition to The Lodge is a new brand of coffee and tea, brought to students by the subcontracted dining service Sodexo, which operates all over the world. The new coffee, called Aspretto, is replacing Seattle’s Best. There are five flavors, along with new, 100 percent
| Truth Bombs | Nazi Mile
The Voices from below: Vag speak Art piece “Judas”
PARADOX
Cynical horoscopes
page 9
OPINION
page 10
page 10
SPORTS
Men’s Golf sets sights on National Championship
page 11
In the Middle the FEATURE
Valentine’s Day pages 6 and 7
Poster for 2010’s Vagina Monologues’ Events.
Rhiannon Conley rconley@uccs.edu
If your vagina could talk, what would it say? “The Vagina Monologues,” the notorious and celebrated play written by Eve Ensler, seeks to answer that question through a series of monologues about various women’s vagina-centric experiences. UCCS will be putting on three V-Day showings of “The Vagina Monologues” on Feb. 11, 12 and 13 to raise money for TESSA, a local community action group that provides programs for victims of domestic and sexual violence in Teller and El Paso County. “This show is my way of helping other women get through certain things. It’s
Poster courtesy of Anya Salzgeber the little piece that I can do. All the money is donated to TESSA which means a lot because I know women who have been abused and in unhealthy relationships,” said Anya Salzgeber, one of the shows’ three directors. Salzgeber has been involved
with the annual “Vagina Monologues” performances for three years, but this year will be her first time directing. While the title and the Continued on page 4
betrays no talent Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu
UCCS student Nina Peterson spent over 60 hours using a thread, fiber and a ballpoint pen creating a work of art entitled “Judas,” currently on display in the Business of Arts Center (BAC) in Manitou Springs. In the “Gender Issues” exhibit, Peterson’s piece, is difficult to miss. The 32 by 40 inch canvas contains a female figure exposed from the breasts to the knees on which the figure kneels in what Peterson describes as “execution style.” The hands of the figure face outward one holding a needle with red thread, the other torn
pieces of paper. The paper has been torn from the vagina of the figure, which has been sown back together with the red thread. On the floor lies a bag of silver. Peterson, a sexual assault victim, told The Scribe the piece is about “realizing that the assault wasn’t my fault. It is never any woman’s fault. I wanted to do this to purge the negative thoughts and feelings,” she said. “The woman in this piece is the Judas I was when I blamed myself.” Even the delivery medium of the art has meaning. “Ballpoint pen is non archival, so it will fade eventually; hopefully assault will too.” Artwork displayed on page 4 Continued on page 4
CONTACT | phone: (719) 255 - 3658 | fax: (719) 255 - 3600 | email: scribe@uccs.edu | website: www.uccsscribe.com
2
editorial
February 9 to February 15, 2010
Declare your love this year: Not on Facebook or a text message
Jackie Parkinson Editor-in-Chief
Today my friend updated her Facebook status to say, “How am I supposed to get to know him if he doesn’t have a Facebook?” Our generation has become obsessed with Facebook. Dating through Facebook and other social networking sites is no exception. Together with the invention of texting, Facebook and social networking have reduced relationships to minute messages that express no afflection and can be misinterpreted in a second. While Facebook is no eHarmony, the #1 trusted singles dating website, it certainly has some similarities. On Facebook, those who choose to divulge their relationship statuses are usually asking for the nosy comments. Those who have chosen to not list that aspect on their profile have created an air of mystery; or, perhaps, their relationship status is too complicated to just be labeled that “it’s complicated.” After all, if you have just begun to date someone are you really going to boast it to all of those in the Facebook world that you have begun yet another week long relationship with the guy in your Marketing class? My favorite part is when it ends and you revert to the single status. You are either
inundated with people feeling sorry for your pathetic life or guys sucking up to you to get a date. To the guys that are sucking up to you on Facebook to get a date: I deem you creepers. A creeper is a person who adds you on Facebook that has never once had a conversation with you in-person, but you feel obligated to add them because you do know who they are and it will create tension if you do not. Then the creeper strikes without warning by saying that you are gorgeous all over your wall, compares you to the sun and every single one of your photos and then by the mere chance you get on Facebook chat, they go in for the kill. While these are the first three bases of the Facebook creeper, the home run are those that find your phone number on Facebook and start texting you up, because a phone call would be too much effort. These texts are usually composed of one or two words, primarily “hi” and “what’s up?” But not with that spelling, because spelling through texts is too complicated for the creeper’s mind, and once again beyond the level of effort they can comprehend. Then there are those who are not the creepers, but who have actually asked for your phone number in person. In my book, those are the ones worth putting up with. Unfortunately, they typically come in three categories: 1) Lazy beyond repair, 2) Clingy beyond repair, and 3) Boring beyond repair. The first is the one who will text you but refuses to spell one word right. They have made up their own texting acronyms, such as ATM, OMW, or ROFLAICB. To those I have to say,
SOWYASBIGBWYAMO or spell out what you are saying before I get bored with you and move on. The second are those who text you “good morning,” “what are you doing?” “who are you with?” “Did you just use the restroom?” “I can see you while you are sleeping,” etc. Obviously, this one has stalking potential and may cause enough alarm to alert the proper authorities. The third are the ones that text you, but when you ask them how they are they respond with “good.” They never expand beyond the simplest of language and have no ability whatsoever to comprehend that this is a time where you can be witty and charming, and maybe, just maybe, draw her in. If you recognize any of the aforementioned qualities in your daily conversations, I suggest you refrain and, gasp, make an actual phone call. While most members of the male species are lackluster on the telephone, this is usually a much better gage to schedule an impromptu meet up and not leave her wondering what he meant behind what he said in a text message. For those of you who have never called the girl you are dating, there is something wrong with you. Trust me, the phone does not bite, but the girl you are dating certainly will if you do not call her. No pun intended. Now for those who are lonely this Valentine’s Day, who cares? Remember that it is a silly holiday and that it is not meant to be shared with just the person you are romantically interested in. Call your parents or spend the day with a fellow single friend, because love can be expressed to more than just that special someone through a failed text message or wall post. ◆
scribe staff striving to present the truth to the students by creating an open forum for opinions and ideas
Editor-in-Chief Jackie Parkinson
Managing Editor Tim Canon
Copy Editor Randy Robinson
Culture Editor Avalon Manly
Opinion Editor Byron Graham
Campus News Editor Catherine Jensen
Sports Editor Matthew Crandall
Layout Editor Rosa Byun
Advertising Manager Sarah Tindell
Columnists Tim Canon, Steve Farrell, Byron Graham, Veronica Graves, Brock Kilgore, Greg Reilly
Reporters Rhiannon Conley, Jessica Lynch, Lauren Mueller, Rob Versaw, Averi Walker, Kay Wynarsky
Photographers
Kevin Kassem, Ariel Lattimore, Carrie Woodruff
Layout Designers Alec Bishop, Shreya Raj
Cartoonist Arno
Web Designer Dorian Rogers
Interning Reporters Brandi Ballard, Jessica Vaughan, Carly Webb
Interning Photographer James O’Shea IV, Chelsea Bartlett
Distributor Donald Trujillo
Advisor Laura Eurich
Information: Archives Additional copies of the current publication volume will be available in The Scribe office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and beyond.
Letters to the Editor The Scribe strongly encourages Letters to the Editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 300 words, must be legible and must include the writer’s name and telephone number. Letters must be turned into The Scribe office, emailed or
delivered to The Scribe mailbox in the ROAR office by 5 p.m. the Friday before publication. The Scribe reserves the right to reject Letters to the Editor that are libelous or obscene or anonymous, and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, grammatical or spelling errors and AP style guideline errors.
Distribution Policy The following conduct is prohibited by The Scribe: Publication and News Rack theft. A person commits the offense of publication and/or news rack theft when he or she willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than three copies of an edition of a publication distributed on campus. A “publication” includes any pe-
riodical that is distributed on a complimentary basis. A person who violates this provision is responsible for compensating the publication for all reasonable costs incurred, including, where appropriate, the refund of advertising fees.
Corrections In Volume 34, Issue 16 of The Scribe, “‘Grade Forgiveness’ not on the horizon,”the concern over policy consistency across campuses affected EPUS’s deliberations. It did not affect the CU-Boulder Faculty Assembly’s decision to discontinue grade forgiveness.
For more information about The Scribe, email requests to: scribe@uccs.edu
REGISTER ONLINE ON THE SCRIBE WEBSITE TO ENTER A GIVEAWAY TO WIN FREE TICKETS TO OSA’S 3OH!3 CONCERT. register at: <www.uccsscribe.com/register>
tues: 2/9
wed: 2/10
Vinyasa-Flow Yoga @ Rec Center 12:15 p.m.
Cardio-Circuit @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m.
student life thurs: 2/11 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater 7:30 p.m.
fri: 2/12
sat: 2/13
Men’s and Women’s Track at Air Force Invitational @ 2 p.m. Women’s B-Ball vs. Nebraska-Kearney @ Gallogly Events Center 6 p.m.
Hip Hop Dance @ Rec Center 4 p.m. Step Aerobics @ Rec Center 5:30 p.m.
Men’s B-Ball vs. Nebraska-Kearney @ Gallogly Events Center 8 p.m.
weekly calendar
12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater 7:30 p.m.
Snowshoe Trip @ Contact dbowan@uccs.edu
sun: 2/14 Valentine’s Day
Men’s and Women’s Track at Air Force Invitational @ 9 a.m.
12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater 7:30 p.m.
Women’s B-ball vs. Chadron State @ Gallogly Events Center 6 p.m.
Les Claypool @ Ogden Theater, Denver 8 p.m.
12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.
Devotchka @ Fox Theater, Boulder 8:30 p.m.
mon: 2/15 Cardio-Circuit @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m. Belly Dance Fitness Fusion @ Rec Center 4:30 p.m.
Men’s B-ball vs. Chadron State @ Gallgoly Events Center 8 p.m. Take A Listen Round @ Fine Arts Center 8 p.m.
quote of the week: “I don’t want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.” - Butters, South Park, CO (a town, like The Paradox section of this paper, which is not real).
email quotes of the week to: scribelayout@gmail.com Photo by Ariel Lattimore The Club Fair on Feb.3 gave clubs the opportunity to recruit new members.
easy peasy lemon squeezy sudoku
the first person to bring both of these completed sudoku puzzles will receive a $10 La’au’s Tacos gift card. bottom floor UCenter rm. 106
2 easy puzzles
✁
cut and stick between the pages of your textbook (you know, the one you never read)
✁ You are HERE
BOOKMARK
Tue Feb. 9
+ Vinyasa-Flow Yoga @ Rec Center 12:15 p.m. + Hip Hop Dance @ Rec Center 4 p.m. + Step Aerobics @ Rec Center 5:30 p.m.
Wed Feb. 10
+ Cardio-Circuit @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m.
Thur Feb. 11
+ 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater 7:30 p.m.
Fri Feb. 12
+ Men’s and Women’s Track at Air Force Invitational @ 2 p.m. + Women’s B-Ball vs. Nebraska-Kearney @ Gallogly Events Center 6 p.m. + Men’s B-Ball vs. NebraskaKearney @ Gallogly Events Center 8 p.m. + 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater 7:30 p.m. + Les Claypool @ Belly Up, Aspen 9:30 p.m.
Sat Feb. 13
+ Snowshoe Trip @ Contact dbowan@uccs.edu + Men’s and Women’s Track at Air Force Invitational @ 9 a.m. + Women’s B-ball vs. Chadron State @ Gallogly Events Center 6 p.m. + 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. + Men’s B-ball vs. Chadron State @ Gallgoly Events Center 8 p.m. + Take A Listen Round @ Fine Arts Center 8 p.m. + Les Claypool @ Fox Theater, Boulder 8:30 p.m.
Sun Feb. 14
+ FAKE HOLIDAY DAY + 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater 7:30 p.m. + Les Claypool @ Ogden Theater, Denver 8 p.m. + Devotchka @ Fox Theater, Boulder 8:30 p.m.
Mon Feb. 15
+ Cardio-Circuit @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m. + Belly Dance Fitness Fusion @ Rec Center 4:30 p.m.
4
campus news
February 9 to February 15, 2010
“Judas” betrays no talent Continued from page 1
Big name draws big wigs at the School of Public Affairs Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu
“JUDAS”: Drawn by student Nina Peterson, proudly displayed on the walls of the Business of Arts Center in Manitou for the “Gender Issues” Exhibit. Kevin Kassem Elizabeth Szabo, Gallery Director and Curator at the BAC, said the exhibit’s purpose is to provide an outlet for works that might be controversial elsewhere. “The BAC is trying to reach out to some different demographics in our community,” she said. “This exhibit was designed to give the artist avenue to voice their opinion and point of view of sometimes controversial subjects, without fear of censorship.”
Szabo said Peterson’s piece went well with the overall theme, adding, “She creates a stunningly beautiful work of art about a subject that makes the viewer uneasy.” More than 350 people attended the opening for “Gender Issues,” one of the BAC’s strongest to date, Szabo said. The exhibit will be up for viewing until April 4. The BAC reaches out to artists in all stages of their career. An artist who wishes to submit his or her work
must be a member of the BAC and the work must be original and ready to hang or exhibit, according to Szabo. “Creating, being active in and supporting artists is a crucial part of society,” expressed Peterson. “Art has the power to affect everyone and provide voice when it is difficult to speak.” For more information about artist proposal calls and exhibits see the Business of Art website: www. thebac.org. ◆
Thanks to the generosity of private donors, the School of Public Affairs will be hosting its first scholar in residence this spring semester: Colorado Attorney General John Suthers. Jan. 29 marked the milestone for the campus, as the Kraemer Family Library hosted the formal welcoming for Suthers, Colorado’s chief law enforcement officer. John Suthers told the audience of dignitaries, including community leaders like District Attorney Dan May and Chief Richard Myers of the Colorado Springs Police Department, that “Teaching is what I like to do. I feel like I have a lot of knowledge to impart to the students.” Suthers was also careful to remind the audience that he does not know it all. “I am also here to learn. I know I will be able to derive a lot from the students,” he said. “One of them has already pulled me aside after class
to tell me all about medical marijuana,” he added jokingly. “It’s a win-win for the school and the students,” said Vice Chancellor Brian Burnett of Suthers’ presence. “He is very knowledgeable; he has literally held all the possible positions for prosecutors in the state.” Students seem to agree. “He has got a wealth of experience,” said criminal justice major Matthew Peterson. “When he talks about the material we are learning he brings up real life examples, an event that he has really been a part of.” School of Public Affairs colleague professor Paul Guidry echoed similar sentiments. “He brings to light legislative and judicial processes for the students,” he said, “because he has so much experience in the area.” Suthers called his positions as district attorney of the Fourth Judicial District, Executive Director of the Colorado Department of Corrections, and United States Attorney for the District of Colorado, “the legal trifecta.”
Burnett, a personal friend and mentoree of Suther’s, suggested to Suthers that he teach at UCCS. Suthers agreed to meet with Associate Dean of the School of Public Affairs Terry Schwartz. “It just took off ” after that, stated Burnett. With the funding for Suthers’ paycheck coming entirely from private donors, Schwartz recounted that, “the only real challenge was working through all the paperwork.” According to Schwartz, “The greatest benefit is his experience. He will make sure students are exposed to all aspects of the legal system and get a well rounded perspective.” His presence will, and has already, impacted students and faculty alike, added Schwartz. Criminal Justice major Nicole Fordberg conveyed, “He is a great speaker; he presents material that may not be super entertaining, but he makes it fun. He also makes it stick; I can’t wait to learn more.” Guidry mentioned that he plans to attend a couple of Suthers’ classes, sit in the back, and learn as much as he can. ◆
LGBTQI “Night of Pride”: A The Case of the Filched look back to the early days, the Flat-screens: SENG burgled history of the club Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu
Held without the bells and whistles of most celebrations was the faculty/ staff Pride committee’s “Night of Pride,” a Jan. 29 event celebrating diversity and inclusiveness. Professor Emeritus and former Chair of the Language and Cultures Department John Miller was the keynote speaker at the event, which according to event organizer Linda Watts gathered 60-70 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Queer, Intersexual (LGBTQI) and allied faculty, staff and students. The event also featured nine video stories from participants in October’s “Coming Out Day.” Miller’s lecture revolved around “the history of LG-
BTQI issues and advocacy at UCCS and in the Colorado Springs community,” according to Watts. Having traveled to teach in Turkey, Colombia, and India, Miller was drawn back to speak at the UCCS campus because of what he saw at a Pride rally this past summer. Miller recounted, “seeing the development of things that I helped start when I got here in 1987 made me want to come back and talk to the students.” Miller discussed the early days of the LGBTQI community on the UCCS campus. It all started with student initiative and a sign he had in his office that read, “I came to live out loud.” Recounting the course the LGBTQI community had to travel was not an easy one, he spoke about facing persecution and hate crimes alike.
“When you take initiative, there will be obstacles, but many rewards await you,” he explained. He continued by reminding the students that today, it is much easier to live an alternative lifestyle than when he was on the UCCS campus. “The biggest difference is the post-amendment culture; they place a greater emphasis on diversity.” At the conclusion of the speech, videos were shown of individuals who came out during last fall’s “Coming Out Day”, and a discussion followed. “What I see is institutions like Matrix and Pride group progressing and becoming an accepted part of the community. The real change is acceptance and promotion of diversity,” said Miller. More information about the LGBTQI community is available http://www.uccs. edu/~cao/spectrum/. ◆
Chaz Boyd and Brian Patterson notice the stolen flat screen’s mountings. Kevin Kassem
Kay Wynarky kwynarsk@uccs.edu
The Science and Engineering building once boasted three HD, flat-screen TVs for student entertainment. Now, the building’s walls can only boast thick, multicolored wires sticking out of sockets–attached to nothing. The TVs were stolen from the Science and Engineering building during Thanksgiving break last semester. The first flat-screen was taken on Nov. 16 and the other two were taken on Nov. 20. The TVs were lo-
cated on the second, third and fourth floors in between the A and B Wings of the building. The TVs were part of lounge areas where students can sit on couches, study and play video games (each lounge has an Xbox console). Each Samsung TV is estimated to cost around $3,000. UCCS Chief of Police Jim Spice told The Scribe that the case is still under investigation and would not disclose if there are any leads. Spice did say that the department was checking pawn shops to see if the TVs have been sold. Spice said he hopes the incident will help members
of the campus community “stay vigilant to what’s going on around them.” “We can’t be in every building at all times. Public Safety is a small department,” he added. “It’s so important that people who see or hear suspicious activity report it. We’re here twentyfour seven.” Replacements for the TVs are expected, but Spice was leery about saying how they intend to make sure the TVs are more securely fixed onto the walls this time, so as to not give anything away. As of Feb. 2 the walls on which the TVs hung have been painted over, but the metal brackets that held the TVs are still up. ◆
culture
February 9 to February 15, 2010
5
Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu ABOVE: Kristen Bell is shocked to find one of the men in love with her has sneaked into her apartment.
When in Rome, see something else.
I hope that plague takes the firstborn children of everyone involved with “When in Rome,” from the craft services to the executive producer, for together they have wrought something so horrid to behold that innocent, blameless babies deserve to die in atonement. “When in Rome” was shamefully committed to film by Hollywood robohack Mark Steven Johnson, whose squandered adapta-
tions of “Daredevil” and “Ghost Rider” – two cherished but challenging Marvel Comics properties that Johnson rendered bland enough to earn adequate box office receipts – were more than enough to assure Touchstone executives that Johnson’s anti-talents could be directed toward flavorless yet moderately profitable romantic comedies as well. The story follows Kristen Bell as Beth, a fastidious curator at the Guggenheim,
or “the Gugg” as the film’s characters inexplicably refer to it, who reminds narrativechallenged viewers constantly, if unconvincingly, that she’s a career woman and too upwardly mobile to settle down with a man. Beth’s younger sister, played by a creepily Lolitaesque Alexis Dziena, is getting married in Rome. At the wedding, Beth cavorts and flirts with Josh Duhamel’s Nick, a gaping void of personality with a
pretty, unfocused look frozen across his face throughout the film. When comic misunderstandings drive our protagonists apart, Beth, apparently drunk after two swigs of champagne (which marks the first timeand-space-disorienting cut in a truly dreadfully edited picture), plops into a Roman fountain and steals five men’s coins, along with their hearts – Forget it. I’m not going to bother summarizing the plot. Instead, I will compose a list of romantic comedy tropes and absurd conceits that “When in Rome” attempts to assemble into a movie: 1. A shrewish, castrating boss played by an aging Hollywood legend, a la “The
Pou r
r he
huga’s S e m on o s
Devil Wears Prada?” Check, only it’s Angelica Houston instead of Meryl Streep. 2. An overwrought, third act revelation of formative trauma by the male love interest? Check: Duhamel’s character was hit by lightning during a football game, and gosh, it really hurt. 3. Like, zany best friends? “When in Rome” has a host of them! 4. Need more zaniness? How about 4 one-joke suitors who contend in increasingly debased and unfunny ways for Beth’s affections? Not enough? Good thing: there’s really 5! 5. Manufactured dramatic conflict that could be easily resolved with an honest 5-minute conversation? Check.
Romantic comedies are often the easiest movies to forgive. Audiences have readily forgiven the genre’s oft-contrived premises (“Groundhog Day” is a perfect example of a lofty concept executed with wit and integrity) and accepted conceits far more ludicrous than anything “When in Rome” has to offer because those movies were anchored by stars who shared genuine chemistry, scripts that generated authentic laughs and filmmakers who craft their stories out of, for lack of a better word, love. There is no love in “When in Rome.” This film, along with the current Rom-Com landscape, makes me doubt if there’s any love left in the world. ◆
fee and latte menu, and UCCS alumni and bartender Matt Danley pointed out that their coffee prices “are cheaper than Starbucks.” Shuga’s drink menu is incredibly creative, and all drinks are made by hand with fresh ingredients, so the $7 to $10 pricing is do-
serve miniscule amounts with all sorts of presentation, so the diner spends only $8 but goes away hungry. Contrary to that commonality, Shuga’s portions are perfect to share, which means there’s enough for everyone to try and some left for the primary eater. The Spicy Brazilian Coconut Shrimp Soup may be the best thing on a really good menu. The spicy broth is rich and creamy enough to make the shrimp an afterthought. All the sandwiches are worthwhile at $8 with the Jacopetti, comprised of salami, proscuitto and brie, as my favorite. The five kinds of Bruschetta Toast (one of each for $12) are a crowd favorite, and the Aracelli Niciose Salad with smoked salmon, potatoes and kalamata olives in wonderful vinaigrette is perfect for the healthconscious and adventurous eater. Shuga’s will offer a special three-course dinner in the dining area for Valentine’s Day, so call for reservations, or just pop in and sit at the bar for drink and dessert specials. ◆
Shuga’s 702 S. Cascade 719-328-1412 Monday through Saturday 11a.m. to 1p.m.
Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu
Whether trying to foster a new relationship or enhance an existing one, Valentine’s Day can be a complicated and confusing endeavor. Too much can seem smothering to that new friend, and too little can leave that significant other feeling neglected. Most college students are on a tight budget,
so too much is rarely an option, but how do we know what is just right? Colorado Springs, especially downtown, is loaded with date places. Many are either too sterile or too uptight for young people, and unfortunately, the majority of places are priced for a different tax bracket than that
of most of the Mountain Lion faithful. Fortunately, there is at least one option for student love. Shuga’s is an inexpensive eatery, carefully hidden in an old home behind the Southside Johnny’s megalopolis on South Cascade. The interior is brightened by bay windows, and the
patron can feel at ease by taking in the art. Red vinyl chairs adorn the café-style seating in the dining area, and the cozy bar seems to foster conversations. The first question from any of the friendly and competent staff will be “What may I get you to drink?” They offer a complete cof-
able. Watching the bartender try to keep up with all the labor-intensive drinks helps the bar tab feel affordable. The Hot Lemon Ginger Tea was excellent, and the Spanish Coffee with four types of liquor and whipped cream could warm the coldest day, or heart. The food menu is small, which is good because so is the kitchen and kitchen staff, so expect to wait a little while and be impressed by more than just presentation. So many “fancy” places
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Valen Day @ CANCER 6/21 - 7/22
The advice and representations below do not necessarily represent the views or knowledge of the stars or universe. by Avalon Manly {amanly@ uccs.edu}
Be careful in love: your usual vitality may give way to clingy or overanalytical tendencies. Do not pity your situation. Rather, adapt to the new things coming your way.
ARIES 3/21 - 4/19 Augment your natural generosity with impulsive romantic acts and gifts this Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s; though you may want to warn your partner to be aware of the heat todayâ&#x20AC;Śyou are bringing it!
TAURUS 4/20 - 5/20 Beware of your materialistic ways preventing you from enjoying time with your partner; donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; t focus on getting or receiving just the right gift.
GEMINI 5/21 - 6/20 This week you will have a witty exchange with an intriguing stranger. 'RQᎯ W OHW VXSHUà FLDO LVVXHV EOLQG \RX WR WKHLU EULOOLDQFH
LEO 7/23 - 8/22 Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; t let your over-protectiveness prevent you from branching out and enjoying new relationships.
Horoscopes
VIRGO 8/23 - 9/22 Try to avoid complaining about anything that may go wrong with your partner this Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day. Instead, help your partner see the bright side of things.
LIBRA 9/23 - 10/22 Rely on your diplomatic skills to solve any problems that might arise EHWZHHQ \RX DQG \RXU VLJQLĂ FDQW RWKHU
SCORPIO 10/23 - 11/21 Try to curb any jealousy you may feel toward other companions of your special someone. They might need their space.
SAGITTARIUS 11/22 - 12/21 Going someplace new with your partner may be just the thing to spark up this Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; t miss any opportunities to go exploring.
CAPRICORN 12/22 - 1/19 Put aside your usual attention to detail and let your partner do something nice for you this Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s.
AQUARIUS 1/20 - 2/18 You might want to be aware of your tongue: One sarcastic remark might detract from your chances of spending a happy Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s ZLWK \RXU VLJQLĂ FDQW RWKHU
PISCES 2/19 - 3/20 Escape with your partner this Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s to someplace where you can both relax and rejuvenate.
For cynical horoscopes, see page 9 in The Paradox
For Singles Carly Webb Although Colorado Springs is not exactly a hotbed of exciting extracurricular activities, there are still a myriad of things a single person can do on Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There are plenty of places to go out drinking,â&#x20AC;? says senior Zachary Pingatore. And Colorado Springs is great for outdoor activities like hiking and camping, â&#x20AC;&#x153;especially because Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s day is on a Sunday this year,â&#x20AC;? said Pingatore, so you can spend the whole weekend otherwise engaged. Singles like Pingatore say they go out drinking not only to drown their sorURZV RI Ă&#x201A; \LQJ VROR RQ WKLV URPDQWLF GD\ but also to celebrate their freedom from being shackled and chained in a relationship and the extra expense of buying gifts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day is a much more coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s oriented day, and the actions of single people are a result of that. The consumerism is aimed at couples so the single people would try to remedy that,â&#x20AC;? noted Pingatore. Single people can always default to going to a movie with friends or can take the 15 minute drive to neighboring Manitou Springs where they can visit a host of unique shops and purchase a gift for themselves or give their patronage to the many art shows the town has to offer, like the Gender Issues show currently being displayed at the Business of Arts Center. UCCS also offers a student and faculty performed showing of The Vagina Monologues that is put on every Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day. Although mostly popular with women, men can go as well, DQG WKH\ PD\ HYHQ Ă QG WKH\ JOHDQHG some knowledge of the opposite sex that they can use to make a woman swoon and maybe even persuade them into a date if they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; t like their status as a single.
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@ The Scribe Blind Date Rate
6/10 Blind Date Anjali Desai {Sophomore} 19, Biology Major
Bryan Jones {Sophomore} 20, Business Major
Jessica Vaughan {jvaugha2@uccs.edu} February is the month for love and bliss. Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day is the big day that no one wants to spend alone. Anjali Desai and Bryan Jones got the invigorating opportunity to be set up on a blind date for this special day. The couple was able to enjoy their date at the calm and welcoming environment of Pikes Perk Coffee Shop off of Vickers and Academy. The date started as awkward as any blind date usually does. The date took off with a good amount of conversation. They were able to talk for a long amount of time, without many pauses in between, and when there was a pause they were able to recover quickly.
With their constant conversation they were able to make each other laugh. This helped the date progress in a smooth and light manner. Laughter is the best medicine, especially in a blind date situation. The laughter shared during the date was a good way to make the nervousness that both Anjali and Bryan felt before the date commenced. This date went really well. Out of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, I would rate it a six. They were able to get along well. However, they are both not interested in a second date and only want to pursue a friendship; I would not give the date a higher rating than six.
For Couples: {cwebb@uccs.edu} Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day can be a romantic and special day for couples. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s the one day out of the year that they have an excuse to buy each other cheesy gifts and spend too much money on dinner at the Mona Lisa in Manitou or MacKenzieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Chophouse in downtown Colorado Springs. Some couples think Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day is over commercialized, although they still enjoy the trappings that come along with having someone with whom to celebrate. Senior Alicia Hoffman said she really likes food, so she would be â&#x20AC;&#x153;happy with a big homemade dinner, a bottle of wine, and chocolate,â&#x20AC;? especially Godiva chocolate, which is certainly plentiful during this holiday season. Couples who are in search of a more atypical way to celebrate Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day could â&#x20AC;&#x153;try skydiving,â&#x20AC;? suggested Hoffman. When asked about his plans with his wife for Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day this year, sophomore Derek Mosley responded, â&#x20AC;&#x153;When you ask a guy what heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s doing on February 14th and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s only February second that means I have 12 more days to think about it.â&#x20AC;? So should women sit around not expecting anything out of the ordinary IURP WKHLU VLJQLĂ FDQW RWKHU RQ 9DOHQ tineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day? Not necessarily. Mosley described his most memorable celebration of Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day from when his ZLIH ZDV VWLOO KLV Ă DQFqH Ꮀ, JRW KHU D box with two glasses in it, a bottle of ZLQH FKRFRODWHV Ă&#x201A; RZHUV FDQGOHV and music. It was a date in a box so we made an evening of it and just enjoyed each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s company.â&#x20AC;? Couples who have the ability to spend the whole weekend with each other could try a romantic get away to one of Colorado Springsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;nearby hot springs, or if they want a little adventure they could even take a trip to New Mexico and visit romantic Ojo Caliente. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Day is an opportunity to celebrate your love with somebody else,â&#x20AC;? said Pingatore.
8
culture
February 9 to February 15, 2010
Dissecting romantic comedies Sweeney: Bloody FAC play Veronica Graves vgraves@uccs.edu
To save you the drama and the time of spending two hours in front of the TV watching a romantic comedy with your date this Valentine’s Day, I have adapted all the important points of any romantic movie into one short column. Our romantic comedy first introduces our main character. She is smart, sexy, and tired of “men;” she may have several “issues,” but she is terrific underneath. The male lead is introduced next. He is and will be henceforth referred to as the Knight in shining armor. Our Knight is a really handsome guy. Average women would come running from half a mile away willing to jump through hoops of fire to be with this guy, but our female lead can’t be bothered. The main character constantly downplays the appeal of Sir Knight. Her
trusty girlfriend or sister (the one that’s about to be engaged or married) tells her she should give him a chance. The Knight knows that this condescending, difficult woman is for him! Forget the countless chicks he could have without a quarter of the trouble. All of the sudden, without any explanation, our star decides that she likes the Knight. He said or did something minor that brushed away all her apprehensions. She is in love. Now the “bad guy” of the film interferes and threatens our lovers’ love. It is usually over something incredibly dumb. For example, our star may see the Knight hug another woman (who turns out to be his long-lost sister who was on a mission trip to Africa). This is the only part of a romantic comedy that resembles the real world. The female now hates the Knight’s guts; he has once again proven that all men are slime. The Knight has no idea why, and nothing short of
burning at the stake will make the female lead reveal the issue. Our Knight spends most of the remaining movie haplessly wondering what he did wrong, and of course neither one of them has the intelligence or communicative abilities to ask. Finally when one or the other figures out the issue, the Knight or leading lady must make a mad dash to confess their true feelings at the zero hour. The lovers then share a grand emotional kiss and plan their wedding scene. Romantic comedies generally consist of a Disney princess movie with a little more “make me want to upchuck” drama . Now you can use your time this V-day on something more important than a silly movie about love. Like explaining how the flower guy must have accidently switched up the cards, or spending three hours on the phone waiting for just one pause so you can wish your grandmother happy V-day. So when V-day rolls around…you’re welcome.◆
How sex is healthy for you Lauren Mueller lmueller@uccs.edu
The many benefits of regular sex range from relieving stress and pain to actually strengthening your teeth; for sexually active members of the UCCS community, or those who wish to become so, there are some health payoffs worth considering. “Having sex makes you feel happy,” said UCCS student Stephen Taglialatela. When asked what some benefits of sexual activity might be, he automatically mentioned that having sex boosts cardio-activity and relieves pain, but what Taglialatela didn’t know came as a surprise to him. Webmd.com says that having regular sex is good for your health. Webmd.com claimed that having regular sex (regular sex being twice a week) helps the human body in numerous ways. First of all, sex boosts your immune system, which lessens the frequency of cold and flu-like symptoms. Overall, the risk of heart disease is lowered by sex. Because of all the cardio-
activity involved in intercourse, regular sex can help maintain a healthy body weight. Webmd.com writes, “42 half-hour sessions will burn 3570 calories.” That is enough to lose one pound. Naturally, regular exercise will help lower blood pressure and reduce the risk of a heart attack or stroke. Of course, the heart is always involved in sex, but so is the brain. According to Webmd.com, having sex can increase your self esteem. Having sex is a sure-fire way to make you feel sexy. An increase in self esteem can also lessen feelings of depression. Sex can also elevate oxytocin in the brain: Oxytocin is a hormone which creates the sensation of being in love or being intimate. Oxytocin releases endorphins and can even relieve pain. Orgasms themselves act as an analgesic or pain reliever, according to Newsweek. Webmd.com calls oxytocin “the love hormone.” As far as the rest of the body goes, “doin’ it” can help with bladder control and falling asleep. Both men and women can experience different benefits of regular sex. Men can look
forward to a healthy prostate, because sex reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Women, on the other hand, can look forward to regulating their periods, and a stronger pelvis. This tightens the muscles used in kegels. “I heard that when a woman’s body gets rid of [semen] inside her, it will release serotonin,” said Taglialatela. “Serotonin is what makes you feel happy.” There are a few other random benefits that sex can provide. First, Forbes.com claims that sex will temporarily increase the sense of smell. Finally, Forbes claims that semen has the ability to strengthen tooh enamel. That’s right: Semen is great for your teeth, and overall oral health. Just when Taglialatela thought that sex couldn’t get any better, he learned about the many health benefits involved in intercourse. It is good for your heart, it is good for your brain, it is good for your bladder and prostate, and it is also good for your teeth. ◆ The Scribe does not necessarily encourage unprotected sex, so you should proabably “wrap it up.”
Alan Osburn and Eryn Carman, lead actors for the Sweeney Todd performance.
Avalon Manly amanly@uccs.edu
Nobody knew that Johnny Depp could sing when he took up the silver razors of Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street. But his unsuspected ability in the role made famous again the story of the murderous coiffure and his opportunistic culinary companion, Thursday, Feb. 11 at 7:30 p.m.
Mrs. Lovett, portrayed on the screen by Helena Bonham Carter. In 1979, the original production of “Sweeney Todd,” by Stephen Sondheim, won Tony Awards for Best musical, Best Actor in a Musical, Best Actress in a Musical, Best Director of a Musical, Best Book Based on a Musical, Best Score, Best Scenic Designer and Best Costume Designer, defeating “The Elephant Man” in sheer numbers of awards. The story revolves around the unjustly exiled Sweeney Todd, who returns to Lon-
don with a vendetta against the man who framed him and destroyed his life. Todd joins forces with the downand-out Mrs. Lovett, a cook who harnesses Todd’s violence to save her meat pie shop. The day before “Sweeney” swept the Tonys, an aspiring actor named Alan Osburn sat in the audience and thought that someday he would like to play the character of Todd. Today, Osburn’s dream Friday and Saturday, Feb. 12 and 13, at 8:00 p.m. is coming true. “Sweeney Todd” is currently playing at the SaGāJi Theatre of the Fine Arts Center, where Osburn is the producing artistic director. In the past few years, he’s directed more than acted, but when the opportunity arose for the Fine Arts Center Theatre Company to present “Sweeney Todd,” Osburn couldn’t pass it up, and as a result he produces, directs and stars in the famous musical. Despite widespread enthusiasm for the project, it required huge efforts to make Osburn’s dream a reality.
“The music is the most demanding of anything I’ve worked on [in my career],” said Osburn. “So many things happen at the same time; it’s so intricate, so complex … It’s arguably the best musical ever written.” A high demand was placed on the actors and actresses to learn the difficult parts. “We have a couple guys hitting high C’s,” commented Osburn, “and there’s some stuff down in the cellar.” Like Angela Lansbury Sunday, Feb. 14, at 2:00 p.m.
before her, Eryn Carman played Mrs. Potts in “Beauty and the Beast” before taking on the role of Mrs. Lovett at the FAC. “Helena Bonham Carter is an unbelievable actress,” said Osburn, laughing, “but she can’t sing. We’ve got some unbelievable music in this play.” Backed by expert scenic and technical presentation, “Sweeney” at the FAC is a hit this season. With only the closing weekend remaining in its run, tickets may go fast: they are available online at csfineartscenter.org/ SweeneyTodd.asp. ◆
paradox the
satire : irony : hilarity
“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.” - Student Press Law Center
New Events Center closed in lieu of brand new Events Center Randy Robinson [rrobinso@uccs.edu] Despite the successful grand opening of the UCCS Events Center, the recreational facility was closed Feb. 1 so that the university could begin to replace it with a newer, larger Events Center. The Even-Newer Events Center is expected to take two years to complete construction. The school revealed plans to demolish the Events Center and have the rubble cleared by the end of the summer, so as to minimize any interference with classroom activities. The Even-Newer Events Center will have much of the same features as the Events Center, except it will contain a revolving mirror ball, dancing go-go girls, and a fog machine. The plan to build the Even-Newer Events Center was first proposed by Uriah Templeton, some dude who happened to be waiting for his girlfriend in the University Center. “There were a bunch of people in suits sitting around discussing new directions for the school. I overheard them and I cut in: Why not build another Events Center since the first one was already so totally awesome?” School officials, always eager to construct new buildings on campus, were instantly enamored by the idea. “Coming up with new ideas can be difficult, especially during times like these,” said Robin Hooperpops, the Vice-Vice Chancellor of Students, referring to the downward economic slump. “We felt that by taking Templeton’s suggestion seriously, we would connect with the student body.” She laughed then, manically, slapping her hand to her forehead. “Imagine how flustered we were when we found out he wasn’t even a student! Ahh. Mm. Hm. Oh well.” Despite Templeton’s enrollment handicap, he pressed on. “I want to see this campus grow. I want to see this school thrive. I want its students to have the opportunity to have more rooms to meet in; more places to shoot pool; perhaps even a bigger, mostly-vacant space for student clubs to meet.” When asked if the school’s push toward greater LEED certification was a factor in his decision, Templeton responded, “I don’t really care to lead anything. Like I always say, the best way to lead …is to follow.” School officials have not yet said where they plan to obtain the funds for the construction of the new building. Sources of funding will likely be a combination of a rich, mysterious benefactor, hidden fees in the student tuition bill, and the blood of all the students’ first-born children.
Veronica Graves
the news is full of contradictions
Top Ten Worst things to say to your date on Valentine’s Day
10 9
Yeah, I missed lunch so I ate all the ones with nuts in them. Oh, I’m sorry I forgot we had a date tonight… Your going to have to speak up…I can’t hear you over the music in the club.
8
How long do you think this is going to take? I’m missing Scrubs.
7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Wow! You clean up well! That’s the twentieth text I’ve gotten from my ex tonight! I’m glad I got a hold of you; I was running out of options. Crap, I forgot my wallet. I picked out names for our first four children.
I think we need to take a break. I swear, when I bought them at the 7-11 they had petals on them.
vgraves@uccs.edu
Cynical Horoscopes Avalon Manly [amanly@uccs.edu] CANCER 6/21 - 7/22 Fun and despair will be in the air when a confetti factory explodes, killing dozens.
ARIES 3/21 - 4/19 You will be struck by a relational revelation today, when you get sideswiped by a baseball bat.
TAURUS 4/20 - 5/20 There will be no “laying” going on in your bedroom this Valentine’s, because you will be laid off.
GEMINI 5/21 - 6/20
You will discover that your significant other is not the gender you thought they were.
LEO 7/23 - 8/22 Your partner will abandon you at the karaoke bar when you begin to drunkenly sing something from “The Lion King” soundtrack.
VIRGO 8/23 - 9/22
Stop imitating your mother-in-law and cease giving your friends critical relational advice.
LIBRA 9/23 - 10/22 Work to avoid bad hair days, as your true love might be just as vain as you.
SCORPIO 10/23 - 11/21 That mystery man on the bus is not your secret admirer or soul mate. He is your stalker. Run. Run now!
SAGITTARIUS 11/22 - 12/21 You’ll encounter your soul mate this week, but in the form of a car accident, so you’ll never remember them without malice.
CAPRICORN 12/22 - 1/19 You’ll spend a lot of money on your partner this Valentine’s Day, after a sordid bathroom scene leads to hefty court fees.
AQUARIUS 1/20 - 2/18 Your new job in the correctional facility will lead to true, if ill-fated, love (and escape attempts).
PISCES 2/19 - 3/20 Keep lots of tissues and chocolate in store, because that romantic movie marathon on TNT will really get to you as you sit all alone on your sofa while everyone else is out with their date.
10 opinion
February 9 to February 15, 2010
| The Lucid Line | Kidneys for sale! | Truth Bombs |The Nazi Mile
Tim Canon tcanon@uccs.edu
Over 100,000 people in the U.S. are currently in line for organs; 85,000 of them for kidneys. As things stand now, nearly 60,000 of them will die waiting for either rare, generous relatives; recently killed and decently matching donors; or thousands of Americans who somehow find it in their hearts to risk the complications and lost wages of undergoing a painful surgery to save the life of some stranger across the country, completely free of charge. The U.S. organ donor system, so reliant on altruism and luck, is in no shape to fill its kidney shortage. I’d like to say that’s because organ shortages have no technologically viable solutions, but that’s not true: There are solutions. We just don’t want to adopt them. But that’s an attitude we need to adjust. For our large kidney-gap to be filled, stronger incentives – even financial – are required to convince potential donors to give up their organs while living, both to avoid the practical difficulties of collecting organs from the dead, and to create a system that relies less on luck and focuses more on human needs. Only one government in the world – Iran’s – currently offer to pay donors for kidneys. Iran has used this system since 1988, and it
currently stands as the only country in the world with no kidney shortage. Singapore is preparing to adopt a similar system. Israel recently implemented a system that rewards those citizens who sign up to donate organs upon death by offering them favorable chances of receiving a donated organs should they ever be in need. Some claim this policy will be a replicable panacea. The U.S., in contrast, seems incapable of considering any such changes. Sure, we’ve developed fancy registries; a multitude of private, non-profit funds; and donor “chains.” But even these ingenious chains will at most provide 1,500 more kidney donations per year, a number nowhere near the number needed. The implementation of financial incentives for organ donors would be an easier and more effective solution, one that could, as it turns out, be quite easily self-financed. For just a fraction of the $100,000 per kidney failure patient dialysis costs currently shelled out by Medicare (including many people in line for kidneys), we could persuade a lot of folks to provide much-needed kidneys, saving the money spent on dialysis for those patients currently in line for kidneys and enrolled in Medicare. Whatever was leftover could finance limited insurance for donors, who many fear will end up being overrepresented by the poor, the uneducated, and the uninformed, and could likely get “screwed” into a raw deal. Iran’s example has shown that such financial incentives can work for kidneys. But while Americans tend to be sympathetic to non-financial incentives for organ donations (as used in Israel’s system), they hate the idea of buying and selling kid-
neys. Why? Since the evidence supports financial incentives over the current, insufficient U.S. system, we can only assume this opposition stems from some sort of moral posturing, though to which moral system the opposition clings I cannot say. Its adherents demand nearly superhuman levels of generosity from merely human donors, seemingly so they can get some sort of cheap thrill hearing about “miracles” on “Larry King Live” and “The O’Reilly Factor.” They sit in their moralistic armchairs philosophizing about the questionable ethics of organ markets while arguing vehemently in favor of a status quo in which thousands of people die every year. They consume life-giving products like food, water and shelter daily, but wag their fingers at kidney patients trying to do the same thing, confining them instead to 25 percent chances of survival in a system based on luck of the draw and (cough) human charity. This is no moral system to be proud of. We can and must deal away with the kidney shortage, but we need to adjust our attitudes on organs first. We need to acknowledge that compensation for the gift of an organ is no vice, and necessary to offset humanity’s inherent selfishness. We need to realize that the words “organ” and “market” need not provoke disgust when used in the same sentence, especially if kidney markets (or incentives) could save lives. Most importantly, we need to admit to ourselves that failing to act on the problem of kidney shortages – one that could so sensibly be fixed – for the vicarious satisfaction of our own corrupt consciences is a tragedy of the worst kind; a tragedy we can, and should, avert. ◆
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Just call (719) 255 - 3469
Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu
The Denver unit of the National Socialist Movement – also known as America’s Nazi Party when its members are being honest with themselves – has recently volunteered to maintain a mile of Colorado State Highway 85 as part of the Department of Transportation’s Adopt-a-Highway program. They even have their own sign. The stretch of highway in question runs through Brighton, a suburb northeast of Denver, and now, on Saturdays at 2 p.m., observant drivers can spot the Nazis toiling there, picking up trash for the advancement of the white race. Maybe, if you’re lucky (and not Jewish) a real-life Nazi will wave at your children! “We’re here. We’re active. We’re doing good things,” said Colorado-based spokes-Nazi Neal Land in an interview with Denver’s CBS Channel 4. The foray into highway adoption is part of a promotional cam-
paign, intended to gain media coverage and recruit new members into the party. When pressed by reporter Howard Nathan, Land admitted he was “not much for the Jewish religion” and that America’s Nazi Party indeed objects to many races and belief systems. Despite his racist outlook and the violent history associated with it, Land has promised that party members will behave civilly and not “initiate any violence.” Land then added the somewhat menacing coda, “I can’t promise what somebody driving down the highway might do.” Officials at the Colorado Department of Transportation, though troubled by the group’s message and historical stigma, accepted the application from America’s Nazi Party with hesitation. A legal precedent was established for controversies such as these in 2001, when a Supreme Court ruling dictated that the Ku Klux Klan could officially adopt a section of state highway and mark it with a recruitment sign. The first amendment extends free speech rights to every American citizen, even those who participate in hate groups. It strikes me as particularly hypocritical however, for an American Nazi, who would deny free speech and voting rights (not to mention the right to not be wrongfully imprisoned and murdered by the millions) to people from different ethnicities or re-
ligions, to fight for his free speech. People who abuse the liberty granted by the First Amendment to rally the ignorant in a collective hatred display a fundamental misunderstanding of what the right to free speech actually means, or if not misunderstanding then outright disrespect. Free speech must be accessible and possible for everyone, America’s Nazi Party and the AntiDefamation League alike, it becomes something different and compromised otherwise. Enjoying the right of free speech is contingent on the concession that people with whom you disagree deserve the same rights regardless. Those of us who would condemn America’s Nazi party as well as their bankrupt ideology are not powerless in this exchange, however. We have free speech of our own to decry the presence of hate mongers on our state highways. We can spread awareness and criticize the promotion of despicable hate groups. We could project “Inglorious Basterds” on the walls of nearby Elmwood Baptist Church, where the Nazis would be sure to see it. Whatever you do, and whatever your position on the matter may be, I implore all of our readers, that should they happen upon this mile of Highway 85 that begins just south of Bromley Lane, they would find it in their hearts to litter profusely. ◆
sports
February 9 to February 15, 2010
11
Men’s Golf sets sights on The top ten greatest sports films National Championship Matt Crandall 7. Above the Rim (1994) changed the sport of boxing mcrandall@uccs.edu
As the new decade begins, the world of sports continues to remain a vital catalyst to the welfare of American life. For every great game of the past residing deep within the psyche of sports fans, there exists a sports film that ran tangential to the games themselves. Some movies illuminated sports with truth and triumph, while others produced unforgettable parodies that made us laugh.
A HISTORY OF SUCCESS: The golf team’s awards displayed in Coach Phil Trujillo’s office. Ariel Lattimore
Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu
“Watch out for UCCS,” read a local newspaper headline near Western Washington University leading up to the Division II National Golf tournament last spring. While UCCS did not come out with a win, Coach Phil Trujillo explained that, “The guys that played know exactly what went wrong.” UCCS is currently ranked 14th in NCAA Division II Golf thanks to a strong finish last fall, and the spring season may bring another opportunity for a championship. Newly acquired transfer Michael Tilghman from UC-San Diego may help make the dream of a National Championship a reality. Trujillo expects him to consistently be in the top five this spring. Junior Riley Andrews hopes this year can be different as well, saying, “I want to be the individual national champion. I believe that you show up to a tournament to win, to be the best; to do anything less than that is to limit your potential.” His team goals are similarly ambitious. “Our team goal is very simple as well: National Champions. We have every opportunity to win a national championship.” The Mountain Lions set themselves up nicely this past fall, climbing into the 8th spot in the national rankings. Despite the great success, UCCS is hungry for more. “There still are seven teams that are ranked better
than us,” Andrews explained. “We want to be the best. That’s what we live for.” With a winter that hasn’t produced very much precipitation, the Mountain Lions have been able to get out on the golf course periodically to keep their skills sharp. However, when the snow does come, Trujillo explained that the team still works at becoming better. “The team has a workout that we do together and it focuses on building our core and balance,” he said. “It’s designed for golfers but we step it up a notch and we work extremely hard in the weight room.” “Our workouts can only help us to be physically fit on those 36-hole days and help immensely with our mental stamina and focus,” Andrews said. “There is no question in my mind that we will be ready for our first tournament in mid-March.” The spring season meets are in Arizona and California, which means warmer weather and thicker air. Andrews added, “Lower altitude golf is a little different for us than high altitude golf. The ball doesn’t travel nearly as far at lower altitudes as it does at the elevation of Colorado Springs.” Trujillo said he reminded his golfers that, “The club selection is key and making sure you do the math before you hit the shot is important.” With the season coming up, Trujillo said the golfers are ready to hit the greens. Spring is the time to reveal the secrets of how winter was spent. Stay tuned for updates on the men’s golf team as they attempt to compete for a national championship this spring. ◆
10. The Longest Yard (1974) Iconic actor Burt Reynolds brought his college football experience to the big screen as he portrayed former pro football quarterback, Paul “Wrecking” Crewe. Crewe’s career was cut short since he was caught “shaving” points (gambling) in games he played. After a drunken dispute with his wealthy girlfriend one night, Crewe steals her car and leads police on a high speed pursuit. Eventually he is caught and sentenced to serve 18 months in prison. The plot unravels as Crewe is handpicked by the prison warden to lead the inmates in a football game against the guards. 9. Happy Gilmore (1996) Adam Sandler starred in this blockbuster that took the country by storm with his unique comedic style of acting. Happy Gilmore is a failed hockey player with no apparent direction in life. While trying to save money to prevent foreclosure on his grandmother’s house and retrieve her away from the nursing home, Happy discovers his skills on the ice allow him to hit big drives on the golf course which prompts him to attempt to play on the Pro Tour.
Duane Martin portrayed Kyle-Lee, an inner city high school kid aspiring to take his basketball future to Georgetown University. This film brought to life the struggles of America’s youth residing in inner city suburbia. Supporting actors included Marlon Wayans, Tupac Shakur, Leon Robinson and Bernie Mac. 6. Remember the Titans (2000) Based on a true story, “Remember the Titans” tells a tale of struggle for civil rights for African Americans and the desegregation movement that followed in the late 1960’s. T.C. Williams High School is assigned a new head football coach, Herman Boone (Denzel Washington), whose passion for the game bridged the gap against prejudice and racism for 30 high school football players during their 1971 season. 5. Jerry Maguire (1996) “Jerry Maguire” encased a new angle from a sports film point of view in that it was centered on the life of a sports agent. Tom Cruise filled the shoes of the central character as Jerry Maguire plunged desperately to his demise after releasing a mission statement to his company which resulted in his termination. The plot unfolds when he is left with one client (Cuba Gooding Jr.) to repent and turn his life around.
forever.
3. Slap Shot (1977) Without question the best hockey film of all time, 1977 proved to be an important year with the release of this film. Academy Award Winner Paul Newman played Reggie “Reg” Dunlop, a veteran player-coach who inherits the task of leading a violent minor league hockey team. The success of the team, the Charlestown Chiefs, rests upon the shoulder of Dunlop as they attempt to regain footing in their personal lives on and off the ice. 2. Hoosiers (1986) The ultimate movie for the die-hard basketball fan, period. “Hoosiers” revolves around the season of one small-town Indiana high school basketball team. Gene Hackman played coach Norman Dale, whose strict and conservative philosophy of basketball leads the team to the state championship. This movie exemplified the legendary tale of David vs. Goliath and the heart required to reach success against all odds.
Sports Shorts Men’s Basketball (7-12, 5-6 RMAC)
Jan. 30 at Nebraska-Kearney UCCS 68, Nebraska-Kearney 63 Jan. 28 at Chadron State UCCS 62, Chadron State 79 The Mountain Lions set another season milestone in school history as they received their first win at Kearney-Nebraska in nearly 12 years. Senior Cole Smith led the team in scoring with an impressive high of 22 points accompanied with nine rebounds. Junior Jordan McClung added 14 points while Junior Chris Fernandez chipped in with 10 points. The Mountain Lions will look for continued success as they face Nebraska-Kearney once again on Feb. 12 at the Gallogly Events Center
Doug Fitzgerald 1. Caddy Shack (1980)
8. The Program (1993)
4. Rocky (1976)
With an all-star cast including James Caan, Halle Berry, Omar Epps, Craig Sheffer and Kristy Swanson, this film brought to life the different realities college students and athletes potentially face: Pressure, stress, alcohol and drug abuse and the lengths athletes will adhere to in pursuit of being the best.
Sylvester Stallone wrote and starred in this epic tale of rags to riches about boxer Rocky Balboa. The “Rocky” saga itself spanned over a decade and has become one of the most iconic sports movies of all time. Stallone’s character gleamed excessively that if you remain hopeful and work hard, anything can be accomplished. This movie
And the winner is…Caddy Shack. Did you expect anything less? The overload of star actors combined with Harold Ramis directing and co-writing the script produced an instant classic. Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield and Michael O’Keefe created chemistry filled with laughter and pure comedic genius that has yet to be surpassed today. The story resides around the upscale golf and country club of Bushwood. The plot follows a struggle of good pitted against evil and the outcome is determined on the gold course. This movie is pure gold for a comedy. ◆
Women’s Basketball (5-14, 1-10 RMAC)
Jan. 30 at Nebraska-Kearney UCCS 70, Nebraska-Kearney 84 Jan. 28 at Chadron State UCCS 74, Chadron State 85 Despite cutting down a 30 point deficit to 13, the Mountain Lions came up short against NebraskaKearney 70-84 on Jan. 30. Freshman Lauren Wolfinger and Sophomore Payden Ackerman each scored 14 points apiece, while Sophomore Ashley Miller followed with 10 points. UCCS will have an opportunity to bounce as they play Nebraska-Kearney on Feb. 12 at Gallogly Events Center.
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HOUSING
ACROSS THE STREET FROM UCCS!! Brand-new renovation at 1411 MountView Ln. Chic and fun, beautifully furnished in all common areas, 5 bedroom, 4 bath house to be shared by female students. Walk across the street to school.Rent includes highspeed wireless internet, cable in ALL rooms, including bedrooms, and phone. Only pay 1/5 of utilities. Please contact Sheri at (719) 641-3654 OR contact at slhix30@aol.com
JOBS
**WE ARE CONDUCTING INTERVIEWS/AUDITIONS MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8TH FROM 5-630PM** KAPLAN IS LOOKING FOR ENTHUSIASTIC, MOTIVATED, AND WELL CONNECTED COLLEGE STUDENTS TO WORK PART TIME TO HELP KAPLAN PROMOTE OUR PRODUCTS AND SERVICES ON YOUR CAMPUS. RESPONSIBILITIES: PROVIDE INFORMATION AND GENERATE INTEREST ON OUR PROGRAMS VIA TABLING ON CAMPUS. POST AND DISTRIBUTE FLIERS AND OR GENERATE LEADS AND CONTACTS FOR THE LOCAL KAPLAN CENTER. COORDINATE AND PARTICIPATE IN LOCAL MARKETING EVENTS. MONITOR AND RESPOND TO COMPETITIVE ACTIVITY IN THE MARKET. RESEARCH AND REPORT ON CAMPUS CLUBS AND GROUPS THAT WOULD BENEFIT FROM KAPLAN PRODUCTS FACILITATE INTRODUCTIONS OF KAPLAN STAFF TO CLUB AND GROUP LEADERS. CREATE CAMPUS PRESENCE DURING HIGH SEASON. PREPARE ROOM AND MATERIALS. QUALIFICATIONS: MUST BE ACTIVELY ENROLLED AT UCCS CLASS STATUS OF SOPHOMORE OR ABOVE HAVE AN ESTABLISHED SOCIAL AND PROFESSIONAL NETWORK WITHIN THE CAMPUS COMMUNITY AVAILABLE TO WORK 5 TO 10 HOURS A WEEK (SOME WEEKS MAY REQUIRE MORE HOURS) AVAILABLE TO WORK AT LEAST ONE ACADEMIC YEAR (FALL THROUGH SPRING) EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION AND PRESENTATION SKILLS EXHIBIT OUTSTANDING LEADERSHIP QUALITIES, HIGHLY CREATIVE AND WELL ORGANIZED HAVE DEMONSTRATED INSTANCES OF SELF MOTIVATION AND TAKING INITIATIVE TO LEARN MORE AND TO APPLY FOR YOUR CAMPUS REP POSITION VISIT HTTPS://SJOBS.BRASSRING.COM/1033/ASP/TG/CIM_JOBDETAIL.ASP?PARTNER ID=375&SITEID=138&AREQ=10985BR (CLICK ON ‘SUBMIT TO JOB’) YOU CAN ALSO VISIT US AND SEARCH FOR YOUR CAMPUS REP POSITION AT WWW.KAPLAN.COM/CAREERS, CLICK ON “KAPLAN TEST PREP AND ADMISSIONS” AND THEN SEARCH PT JOBS IN YOUR CITY AND STATE.
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