Jan. 26, 2010

the scribe

A Look Inside the ISSUE

The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs.

January 26 to February 1, 2010 [Volume 34; Issue 15]

No power lost at second annual Blackout Night

NEWS

Student employment in University Village

page 4

CULTURE

Mountain Lion Fashion Winter wears: The return of vintage punk

page 7

The Blackout Night crowd supports the Men’s Basketball team to a close overtime victory cheering “Whoosh! UCCS.”

Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu

PARADOX

UCCS Student doesn’t believe that “Avatar” isn’t real

page 11 FEATURE

On Jan. 22 students, faculty and prestigious members of the community witnessed the grand opening of the newly completed Event Center. The grand opening was followed by the second annual Blackout Night, where an estimated 1,337 fans gathered to support the Mountain Lions men’s and

women’s basketball teams.

Opening remarks were held in the 27,000 square foot center, where master of ceremonies Susan Szpyrka, associate vice chancellor for administration and finance, spoke, along with Board of Regents Chair Steve Bosely, University of Colorado President Bruce Benson, UCCS Chancellor Pam ShockleyZalabak and Student Body President Daniel Garcia.

Benson began by announcing that UCCS athletics will no longer have the smallest

venue in all of NCAA Division II. “Today we are losing that distinction in grand fashion,” he remarked.

The center has been named Gallogly Event Center after Alumnus James L. Gallogly and wife Janet, who donated $1 million to the CU Foundation.

After thanking the students and members of the community who were in attendance, Shockley-Zalabak expressed, “Special thanks to the parents of our athletes for sending your sons and

daughters here. You are our most ardent fans, and you are appreciated.” 180 UCCS athletes were in attendance, according to Szpyrka.

With the assistance of Vice Chancellor Brian Burnett and Garcia, the Chancellor proceeded to dunk a basketball, after which she and Garcia wheeled out UCCS’ live mascot, Clyde, a mountain lion rescued by the Serenity Springs Wildlife Center and adopted by UCCS in 2008.

The UCCS cheerleaders

Ariel Lattimore and Clyde lead the way to a tailgate party held in the old gym. The party featured enough buffalo burgers and other food (provided by Sodexho) to feed 1,000 people, photo ops with Clyde and a live performance by the UCCS dance team.

Both games played during Blackout Night were accompanied by cheering, stomping, chanting and body paint.

Continued on page 4

Bigger, Better, Louder Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu

Self-Defense

pages 12 and 13

OPINION Cold Snap!

to headline spring concert

page 14

This week’s challenge: Spoiled brats

page 15

Scribe Staff scribe@uccs.edu

In the Middle SPORTS

Blackout Night pages 8 and 9

The Office of Student Activities (OSA) has selected 3OH!3 to headline its spring concert on April 22.

The decision was announced Jan. 22 at the grand opening of UCCS’s new Events Center. 3OH!3 was one of five finalists announced last fall, and was

selected after extensive negotiations with OSA and the university.

3OH!3, named after Colorado’s 303 area code, is comprised of Nathaniel Motte and Sean Foreman, both of whom grew up in Boulder and graduated from the University of Colorado.

The band gained recognition after participating in Warped Tours 2007, 2008 and 2009, and is known for its unique electro-hip hop style and multiple popular

singles, including the well known “Don’t Trust Me.” “I’m super excited,” said OSA President Michelle Kissler. “It’s a huge tradition and a great opportunity because people love having a huge campus life.”

Stanford alum K.Flay, a current resident of San Francisco, California, will open the show. K.Flay’s album “MASHed Potatoes,” a Continued on page 4

Jan. 22 marked a very special date for UCCS athletics with the opening of the Gallogly Event Center.

To celebrate, the athletic department hosted a tailgate followed by a men’s and women’s basketball double header.

Women’s team captain Janean Jubic recalls, “It was so cool to see the energy and support, we were really excited, we had a big crowd, we wanted to go out there and perform well.” Center Mallory Lowe added, “We knew it was going to be tough but we really wanted to get the fans into it.” UCCS student Alex Nuttall, who was in attendance for the game, commented on the crowd that, “It looked rowdy and sup-

portive, like we were a real school for the first time. You know like the kind of school that supports its athletes and goes to all the games with painted faces.”

Regis jumped out to a 54-27 halftime lead over the lady Mountain Lions but fans still stayed. Jubic said, “Even though we were down, they stayed and continued to support us, it was really cool.” Mallory Lowe felt, however, that the scoreboard didn’t tell the whole story stating, “It was the closest 20 point game I have ever been in!” Despite coming up short in the first game of the double header, the lady Mountain Lions played with spirit until the end. “We outscored them by seven in the second half.

We just need to learn to go out there at the beginning Continued on page 8

CONTACT | phone: (719) 255 - 3658 | fax: (719) 255 - 3600 | email: scribe@uccs.edu | website: www.uccsscribe.com

2

editorial

January 26 to February 1, 2010

scribe staff

Blame it on the politics: A new approach is possible

Jackie Parkinson Editor-in-Chief

We have all been to Cragmor Hall Room 201. It is the room where you rejoice over scholarships. It is the room where you cry tears of debt. It is financial aid.

With the semester upon us, most of us are still recovering from our winter-break journeys, and some are weathered from the storm.

Yet, who is to blame? Is it the receptionist that made you wait with dozens of others? Is it the advisor that had to be the bearer of bad news? Is it the cost of the actual tuition? Is it the fees that stack up? Or is it the state of Colorado’s lack of higher education funding?

To the receptionist, I take pity, as they are just doing what is asked of them. They simply needed a job to pay the bills like the rest of us, and one was offered in this office, so they did what any rational adult would do, and made a sacrifice to not live below the poverty line. They are simply seeking financial

aid, just as you are, but in the form of a job.

Commonly on our campus, you will hear angry remarks about an office that is “ridiculous.” Yet, do we ever take a look around to see who we are actually ridiculing?

If we do not receive financial aid for a semester, is it really the poor receptionist’s fault? If we receive a parking ticket for staying in 15 minute parking for over an hour, is it the parking attendant’s fault for writing said ticket? Is it the fault of the Chief of Police, following a specific procedure for assessing snow fall, for not closing campus a week before finals?

The aforementioned are groups on this campus who are victimized by blame. Yet if we keep placing blame on the individuals we think are responsible, then where do we get ourselves?

The Facebook group “People who think UCCS needs to close during severe weather,” formed in response to the school’s decision not to close campus on a snowy day last December, currently has 1,099 members. That accounts for over an eighth of the student population.

These students by and large chose to place the blame for the lack of snow day on Vice Chancellor Brian Burnett.

Hundreds of emails and calls were made to Burnett, and he responded to all of

them through a single email explaining his rationale.

His rationale could not calm the hundreds of students who felt they needed to place blame for the snowfall.

We wrote an article informing UCCS about how snow days are decided almost a month before the snow day incident. UCCS was informed as to how these decisions were made, and had the information easily accessible, yet they only reacted when they needed to find out whom to blame.

When we place blame, we begin at one person, usually the little guy, then go to the next level of hierarchy, and on up further, but we solve nothing. We simply create a problem and take out our anger on those who we will feel are easy targets. We never take a look at ourselves and the group we are apart of.

As UCCS students, we have rights on this campus, but they will never be heard if we sit back idly to let policies and mandates go on without our voices being heard. At the same time, we need to control those voices and direct them to areas where they are justified, and will have some effect.

As Hubert H. Humphrey said, “We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.”

And it is about time UCCS stopped playing politics. u

Letter to the Editor Dear Editor: At first the number of errors in this week’s Scribe, a number which seems to be growing with every passing week, had me dismayed. I then, on a whim, read Jackie Parkinson’s editorial. I generally don’t read editorials, as the idea that others may have opinions that differ from my own frightens me to my very core, but on this day I am glad that I took the plunge. It would appear you lot are more cunning than I had originally thought.

I always wondered what The Scribe would look like if its writers were actively seeking out mistakes, and now I must wonder no longer. Well played, Scribe staff.

Well played.

Yours, Jasen Cooper

striving to present the truth to the students by creating an open forum for opinions and ideas

Editor-in-Chief Jackie Parkinson

Managing Editor Tim Canon

Copy Editor Randy Robinson

Culture Editor Avalon Manly

Opinion Editor Byron Graham

Campus News Editor Catherine Jensen

Sports Editor Matthew Crandall

Layout Editor Rosa Byun

Advertising Manager Sarah Tindell

Columnists Tim Canon, Steve Farrell, Byron Graham, Veronica Graves, Greg Reilly

Reporters Rhiannon Conley, Lauren Mueller, Rob Versaw, Averi Walker, Kay Wynarsky

Photographers Kevin Kassem, Ariel Lattimore, Carrie Woodruff

Layout Designers Alec Bishop, Shreya Raj

Cartoonist Arno

Web Designer Dorian Rogers

Interning Reporters Brandi Ballard, Jessica Vaughan, Carly Webb

Interning Photographer James O’Shea IV, Chelsea Bartlett

Distributor Donald Trujillo

Advisor Laura Eurich

Information: Archives Additional copies of the current publication volume will be available in The Scribe office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and beyond.

Letters to the Editor The Scribe strongly encourages Letters to the Editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 300 words, must be legible

and must include the writer’s name and telephone number.

Letters must be turned into The Scribe office, emailed or delivered to The Scribe mailbox in the ROAR office by 5 p.m. the Friday before publication.

The Scribe reserves the right to reject Letters to the Editor that are libelous or obscene or anonymous, and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, grammatical or spelling errors and AP style guideline errors.

Disclaimer The following conduct is prohibited by The Scribe: Publication and News Rack theft. A person commits the

offense of publication and/or news rack theft when he or she willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than three copies of an edition of a publication distributed on campus. A “publication” includes any periodical that is distributed on a complimentary basis. A person who violates this provision is responsible for compensating the publication for all reasonable costs incurred, including, where appropriate, the refund of advertising fees.

For more information about The Scribe, email requests to: scribe@uccs.edu

student life

weekly calendar tues: 1/26

wed: 1/27

Selling for Success @ SBDC 5 p.m. ($40 registration)

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

thurs: 1/28

fri: 1/29

Leadership Lessons from the Dog @ SBDC 5 p.m. ($25 registration) 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre Leftmore @ The Blacksheep 7:30 p.m.

sat: 1/30

12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre

sun: 1/31

Bookstore is OPEN @ 10 – 4 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre

An Evening of Pride @ Dwire 121 7 p.m.

Brand New @ Fillmore Auditorium, Denver 7:30 p.m.

12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre Manchester Orchestra @ The Blacksheep 7:30 p.m. (all ages)

Leftmore in brief: Many folks lament the lack of local music in the Colorado Springs area, but those more attuned to the city’s finer cultural scenes know that there are a few spots – and bands – that can fulfill some of the local music needs of even the most interested patrons. For those of you not from the area, or who have never really paid much attention, here’s the Scribe’s local culture offering of the week: Check out Leftmore, a local, acoustic band comprised of two UCCS alum. They’re playing next Thursday, the 28th at the Blacksheep located just east of Union and Platte. If you like what you see, don’t hesitate to leave a tip; just make sure it’s a cold, carbonated beverage from the bar.

quote of the week: “We’re both on a fixed income – of nothing. Who’s poorer, you or me?”

- JoAnn

email quotes of the week to: scribelayout@gmail.com

a brain refresher

the first person to bring both of these completed sudoku puzzles will receive a $10 La’au’s Tacos gift card.

2 extra hard puzzles

✁

bottom floor UCenter rm.

106

cut and stick between the pages of your textbook (you know, the one you never read)

✁  You are HERE 

BOOKMARK of the week

Tue Jan. 26

+ Selling for Success @ SBDC 5 p.m. ($40 registration)

Wed Jan. 27

+ Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Thur Jan. 28

+ Leadership Lessons from the Dog @ SBDC 5 p.m. ($25 registration) + 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre + Leftmore @ The Blacksheep 7:30 p.m.

Fri Jan. 29

+ 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre

Sat Jan. 30

+ Bookstore is OPEN @ 10 – 4 + 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre + Brand New @ Fillmore Auditorium, Denver 7:30 p.m.

Sun Jan. 31

+ 12 Angry Men @ Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theatre + Manchester Orchestra @ The Blacksheep 7:30 p.m. (all ages)

4

campus news

January 26 to February 1, 2010

Student Employment in University Village No power lost at Blackout Night (cont.)

Continued from page 1

Freshman Mike Olson gathers the used dishes at Panera Bread in the University Village.

Carly Webb cwebb@uccs.edu

As the city of Colorado Springs welcomes more new retail land development, especially in the very near proximity of UCCS, many wonder if this will mean more jobs available to students.

The University Village shopping center, which begins on the corner of Garden of the Gods and North Nevada and sprawls north for three blocks, is home to many successful retail chain locations like Chipotle and Panera Bread, and includes anchor stores Costco, Lowe’s and Kohl’s.

This new shopping center has the potential to employ hundreds of people with only a handful of storefronts occupied thus far. The Village’s Costco location alone employs approximately 140 people.

The stores in this development have had mixed experiences with UCCS students

so far. Some businesses have had positive experiences, while others were not so impressed. Maria Encarnacion, CostCo’s assistant front end manager, describes her UCCS employees as “really outgoing” and hard-working.

“They have a great work ethic and are really focused on school,” she added.

According to Encarnacion, about 3,000 people applied to work at Costco, including a minimum of 100 UCCS students. Costco, the largest of the chain stores, hired 10 students before its grand opening on Oct. 29, but now has just six, none of whom were available for comment.

Encarnacion believes the reason there aren’t more UCCS employees is because of their availability and scheduling limitations. “We did get a lot of students who applied,” she said, but most of them were limited by the above constraints.

Encarnacion used to manage the Costco on Powers and Barnes in east Colorado Springs, which did not have

the same amount of UCCS students apply. Proximity to the school makes the Village location more convenient.

Other operations, like Chipotle, have no UCCS student employees at all.

“There weren’t very many UCCS students with culinary experience,” according to Chipotle general manager Marley Vincent. Vincent also said the UCCS students who did apply were “snotty.”

Chipotle also participated in a job fair in October before its grand opening. The restaurant posted employment opportunities in local papers and on Monster. com, but did not post job openings on Sean’s Place, the university’s student employment website. “We’ve done job fairs in the past at UCCS, and we didn’t have a very good interest,” said Marley.

Panera Bread employs “three or four” student employees, said UCCS transfer student and Panera Employee Matt Mitchell. Mitchell describes the UCCS students he works with as “very friendly.”

Kevin Kassem “They have good attitudes and are willing to learn new things and be trained,” he said. Mitchell also said his managers at Panera are “very flexible and understanding.”

Assistant Student Employment and AmeriCorps Coordinator Shannon Cable was involved with helping students find jobs at the Village. She was an enthusiastic supporter of the shopping center. “Any company that comes into the Springs has the opportunity to benefit students because it increases the amount of jobs per capita,” she explained.

Students interested in finding a job, said Cable, should check Sean’s Place online (seans.uccs.edu) for employment opportunities, especially at University Village.

Cable is optimistic about the future of the Village and student employment. “The university is proactively trying to connect students with those businesses, and hope that we can generate a relationship between those businesses and UCCS,” she said. u

3OH!3 to headline spring concert (cont.)

Continued from page 1 collection of remixed tracks, is available on her website.

Also playing will be the winner of OSA’s Battle of the Bands, which will take place sometime this spring.

Ticket and concert information will be available on OSA’s website in the coming weeks.

For more information, contact OSA at osa@uccs. edu u

Mitch Karstens reveals a 3OH3! banner to anxious students.

Ariel Lattimore

The incomplete Event Center’s basketball court planking before installation.

Jackie Parkinson

The cutting of the ribbon ceremony officially opened the brand new Event Center.

James O’Shea

The completed Event Center was the perfect location to host the Blackout Night activities as well as the basketball games.

Ariel Lattimore Ben Jourdan and Matt Seay, leaders of the student group F.I.G.H.T (Fans Initiating Growth Honor & Tradition) who co-sponsored the evening with Office of Student Activities (OSA), had sanguine comments regarding the night. “This is the best night I’ve ever seen,” said Jourdan. “I feel it has raised school spirit already.” Seay added, “This was a great opportunity for us to enjoy an event as a student body, it wouldn’t have been possible without everyone.”

The group gave away 500 free t-shirts, 400 leis, 1,500 cans of Monster Energy drink and a grand prize Monster cooler filled with prizes and awarded to the student wearing the most gold and black. The win-

ner was student Keith Rely, whose bright yellow suit screamed school spirit.

Students and members of the community left expressing optimism for the future of the center and the impact it is predicted to have on the community, both on campus and off. “Athletics are very important for campuses,” Benson told The Scribe. “The students can only benefit from a quality athletics facility. The more students we have coming here, the better things will be for Colorado.”

Shockley-Zalabak shared the president’s sentiments.

“This is only the beginning of what this center will create for the students and community,” she said. “This is a critical piece in creating student life.” u

campus news

January 26 to February 1, 2010

5

Financial Aid Office “Grade Forgiveness” The bus stops here: gets a facelift: Faster, not on the horizon Front Range Express professional service to be discontinued Rhiannon Conley rconley@uccs.edu

The Financial Aid Office has initiated a completely new system to help students in and out of the office as quickly and as courteously as possible.

The new service combines several waiting-room models to improve upon the old system. There are now four “windows” – similar to those in the academic advising and bursar lobby – available with staff. These staff members, including both student and professional employees, act as a triage, filtering needs and questions to the right places to save time. If a student’s need is simple, the window staff will handle it immediately.

Students with more timeconsuming needs are sent to different parts of the office

office since 2000, when she started her job there as a student employee. “We wanted to help our students faster and get their questions answered faster,” she expressed.

Hoffman commented that a lot of the problems before the change were the result of an unbalanced student-to-staff ratio. “We keep getting more and more students every year, which is great, but there isn’t enough staff to meet their demand.”

Peer counselors, the student employees working under the professional counselors, have been valuable in helping to alleviate the pressure.

The students working in financial aid are currently learning the new system from two professional counselors, Koenig included, and Hoffman has high hopes for them. “They’re being trained by professionals now, but after several months of working, they’ll be able to train

“We’ve got one comment already from a graduate student who said this was the best service he’s had in years.”

Director of Financial Aid and Student Employment Mark Hoffman for specific help.

Mark Hoffman, who will soon become the Associate Director of Financial Aid and Student Employment, is excited about the new system. “It allows us to serve [the students] better and more efficiently,” he said. “This way we’re funneling you to the right place so there isn’t a big traffic jam,” he added.

“Sometimes people come in and wait in line for two hours behind someone just to get told they’re in the wrong place,” said Hoffman. “The combination of the model we’re using and the extra staff is cutting wait times and saving students a lot of trouble.”

“We’ve seen such long wait times before, and it wasn’t anything we were happy about,” said Brooke Koenig, one of the professional financial aid counselors working in the office.

Koenig has worked in the

other students to do the job.”

There are a few problems with the new system.

“It’s harder to track the wait time,” said Koenig. “We used to have students log in so it was easy to see how long the wait times were. Now that you don’t log in, it’s hard to gauge the wait time.”

Koenig added, “But at the height of the lunch rush yesterday, the longest wait was 15 minutes.”

Eventually, Hoffman said, the office would like to implement a scheduling system, but for now financial aid’s services are available via the walk-in system only. “There are bugs to work out, we’re still getting through them,” said Hoffman. “But by next fall we will have all the kinks out and will have everything running smoothly. We got one comment already from a graduate student who said this was the best service he’s had in years.” u

Professor Carole Huber grades a student’s map drawing.

Ariel Lattimore

Averi Walker awalker@uccs.edu

Grade forgiveness has long been a topic of debate at UCCS, but a decision made last March by CU-Boulder’s Faculty Assembly may have ended the discussion for the foreseeable future.

Last March, Boulder’s Faculty Assembly voted to end its grade forgiveness policy. The policy had allowed students to retake a class and use the repeated class grade toward final GPA calculations, while discarding the previous grade.

The Assembly’s reasoning for discarding the policy was that the Colorado Springs and Boulder campuses should have consistent standards concerning grade forgiveness.

Current UCCS policy does not allow students retaking classes to discard previous grades, but instead counts both grades in final GPA calculations.

The assembly’s move has stirred up more discussion concerning the policy, which many believe could benefit students seeking graduate or professional studies who have had bad semesters that have affected final GPAs. Grade forgiveness could improve a student’s cumulative GPA if the repeated class grade is higher than the original grade.

“I believe PPCC has a similar [grade forgiveness] policy, and it is a great opportunity for students to redeem themselves after a lackluster performance in a course,” said UCCS senior Stephanie Canales. For Canales, the grade forgiveness policy represents the chance to achieve the best possible GPA, which she believes will affect her ability to get into graduate school.

Grade forgiveness has been discussed at UCCS in the

past. According to Thomas Napierkowski, a professor of English at UCCS, the issue was brought to the attention of the UCCS Faculty Assembly and the Educational Policy University Standards (EPUS) board by Student Government a couple of years ago.

At that time, Student Government representatives pointed out that the CUBoulder campus had a grade forgiveness policy, and felt it was unfair for UCCS students to be held to a tougher standard.

“The UCCS EPUS board began drafting a grade forgiveness policy for UCCS, but discontinued after the Boulder Faculty Assembly’s vote last March.”

In response to the complaints, the UCCS EPUS board began drafting a grade forgiveness policy for UCCS, but discontinued after the Boulder Faculty Assembly’s vote last March.

The three-campus university policy does give UCCS the option to establish a grade forgiveness system.

The Administrative Policy Statement for the University of Colorado system states, “Any policy on course forgiveness/repetition shall apply only to the campus whose faculty develops and adopts it and shall apply only to the students enrolled on that campus.”

Napierkowski commented that UCCS’ current system can grant grade allowances in personal emergency cases, like injury or death in the family, but such cases are rare. u

Pictures courtesy of The City of Colorado Springs Transit Services Division

After five years of service to Colorado Springs residents, the Front Range Express (better known as the FREX) will be shutting down on Feb. 12 due to lack of funding.

The city’s bus service has been the first and only form of mass transit that takes commuters to and from Colorado Springs, Monument and Denver. Since the program’s formation in 2004 as a plan to help reduce emis-

proximately $9.14.

The cancellation doesn’t seem to be affecting many students, in part because most don’t even know what the FREX is, let alone ride it.

Some students, like Candice Moncayo, ride the FREX on occasion, but Moncayo said she is more concerned for the people who live here and work in Denver than for herself.

“It’s very disappointing, especially for the people who have had to find jobs in Denver because there aren’t any in the Springs and to relocate would be too expensive,” she said.

Lonnie Schaible, an assis-

sions and congestion along I-25, the FREX has been very popular among residents along the Front Range who work in a city other than Colorado Springs.

Despite the system’s popularity, decreases in sales tax revenues over the last few years led to the Mountain Metropolitan Transit charging increasing prices for bus tickets, resulting in lower ridership. When an attempt to sell some of the buses to keep the program afloat failed, so did the service.

People use the FREX for a number of reasons, including convenience, lack of a car and/or license, reduced stress on the car and/or driver, being “green,” and ability to work more (all buses have free Wi-Fi, which riders can use during transit).

Low cost used to be a major benefit too, but with a one-way ticket to Denver now costing $11, it would be cheaper to drive a car, which would, on average, only set the driver back ap-

tant professor for the School of Public Affairs who commutes two to three times a week from Castle Rock by FREX, is disappointed too.

“It’s a huge loss to the community and university, ecologically and economically,” she said.

“People can easily justify driving their own car, but they’ll regret it once the price of gas goes up again,” warned Schaible. “It will be a hardship once the program is gone.”

Whether the FREX will ever return is still undetermined. Most people agree that there needs to be some kind of mass transit system that connects Denver to the Springs, and even to other parts of the state, but to have such a system is, at least right now, quite costly.

City spokesperson John Leavitt isn’t optimistic. “Until Colorado Springs residents are willing to increase taxes, [a mass transit system] probably isn’t a reality,” he said. u

Kay Wynarsky kwynarsk@uccs.edu

6

culture

January 26 to February 1, 2010

Tips for healthy eating on a college budget Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu

Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu

“Youth in Revolt,” the Weinstein Company’s latest effort that rolled into Springs-side theaters last week, is one of those movies that seems like an increasingly dire game of Jenga as it unfolds: The narrative always seems one or two moves away from collapsing off the reel and drowning the audience in diminishing returns.

Thankfully, by the arrival of the twee animation sequence that accompanies the closing credits, said collapse hasn’t happened; but

Italian Neorealist cinema while he attempts to impress a visibly bored female patron, highlighting his pronounced isolation from the teenage girls whose elusiveness compounds their appeal.

Madcap hijinks involving Galifinakis’ de facto step-father character – who relocates the entire family to a trailer park – propel the chaotic plot forth until Nick meets Sheeni Saunders, a comely neighbor with a penchant is for French New Wave and is the embodi-

Cera is brilliant in these sequences, playing against type as Francois, who often scores some of the movie’s biggest laughs.

The only problem with “Youth in Revolt,” really, was that the narrative seemed too hurried in its execution.

Director Miguel Arteta’s realization of Gustin Nash’s adaptation of the cult classic Nicholas Twisp book series has a host of hilarious secondary characters, whose story arcs get rounded off in favor of moving the plot forward.

Returning to classes in the spring usually means balancing the old with the new. The traditional plenty of Winter Break and the realities of a strict diet contrast starkly with the relatively decent shape you had worked into before the holidays, and the flab now hanging from your frame. So I began to wonder: Is it possible to live up to New Year’s resolutions about health while new classes, crappy jobs and a crazy budget combine to make eating unhealthily the simplest option?

Here are some frugal and healthy tips from an eternal student: 1. Eat “Home-Cookin’” – Eating at home (yours, not your parents’) not only saves money, but it allows you to control what and how much you eat. With a little forethought and for about the same price as a sausage, egg and cheese bagel and iced mocha latte, or whatever

your particular morning addiction happens to be, you can prepare the equivalent for many days. Use plastic wrap and reuse grocery bags to package food, utilizing the freezer for storage and weekly variety. Dedicate water bottles for water, juice, coffee or tea to prevent coffee-flavored juice.

2. Go Native – Grains and rice made into bread and noodles are integral parts of our ancestral humanity.

They are also at the base of the USDA Food Pyramid, which recommends six to 11 servings daily. Luckily, supermarkets are loaded with bread products, noodles and cereals that are cheap and easy to prepare. Spend more time in the produce isle because five to nine servings of fruits and vegetables are recommended for every day.

Be creative with whatever is on sale by Googling a recipe that sounds good, then experiment with it. Freeze the leftovers in individual serving containers and remember to label them.

3. Take a Hike – Exercise is a great substitute for celery sticks. We are lucky to

have open spaces surrounding our campus, so get out there and explore, or ride a bike up some hills. Fruit and granola bars are highly portable, and nothing beats a trailside sunset with the native extravagance of smoked gouda, veggie crackers, pocket knife-sliced pears and a buttery Chardonnay.

4. Go Out to Lunch – As a restaurant critic on a budget, I know the best deal is always lunch. The smallest portions are usually served, and who says you have to eat everything? Eat half and save half for a later meal, simultaneously stretching the budget and shrinking the waist.

5. Drink More (Water) – Your body is 55 to 65 percent water, and we live in a very dry climate. Most college students drink coffee, which in large quantities acts as a diuretic, and some college students choose to drink alcohol, which dehydrates the body, among other things. Purchasing beverages can become a huge expense, so buy in bulk or try making some tea or lemonade at home. u

Easy List for Healthy Eating (put me on your fridge!)

Michael Cera playing Nicholas Twisp in “Youth in Revolt.” just barely.

Michael Cera stars as Nicholas Twisp, a nebbishy 16-year-old virgin who’s as amorous as he is grandiloquent. Nick’s relentless intellect and unwieldy verbal acumen alienate him from his divorced parents, portrayed by an under-utilized Steve Buscemi as George Twisp, and Jean Smart (who here essentially reprises her role from “Garden State”) as Estelle Twisp, and their comically unfit rebound partners, a bubbly blonde in her mid-twenties and Zach Galifinakis, respectively.

Cera is a natural as the bookish protagonist; a loner by default whose unique mind goes unheralded by his incurious familiars. For example, an early b-plot scene features Twisp perusing through an Oakland area video store and revealing his pretentious fondness for

ment of Nick’s instantly smitten adolescent dreams.

Portia Doubleday, the novice actress with a Bondgirlish name who co-stars as Sheeni, is readily believable as a romantic interest – an essential element to the film’s further development. She and Cera have an unforced chemistry that anchors a definitively zany story and holds the audience in suspense.

Various obstacles come between Twisp and his erstwhile paramour, and the film concerns itself with his quest to return to his lady fair. The perpetually timid Nick invents a “supplementary persona” he calls Francois Dillinger, a chain-smoking, mustachioed, pure I.D. version of Nick Twisp (also portrayed by Cera) who emboldens him to pursue improbably perilous machinations to win Sheeni’s heart.

Furthermore, the supporting cast is staffed by the likes of Fred Willard, Justin Long and Ray Liotta, all of whom excel during their albeit precious-little screen time.

Granted, any filmic adaptation of a 500-plus page novel is going to lose details and pacing in the translation, but I left “Youth in Revolt” feeling a little bit robbed, like I was told only two thirds of the story; and I hadn’t even heard of the Nick Twisp series until shortly before I saw the movie.

Despite its minor shortcomings, however, “Youth in Revolt” is too clever and uniquely enjoyable for me not to recommend it to you, readers. Though the movie ultimately falls short of the promise it displays in its early scenes, at the end, it remains a standing Jenga tower of triumph, if still a little wobbly. u

Eat at home!

Store leftovers and make sure they’re covered.

Google easy recipes to make yourself.

Exercise and eat healthy trail food!

Drink water, not soda.

Look around for in season produce.

Mountain lion fashion

January 26 to February 1, 2010 Avalon Manly amanly@uccs.edu

Winter wears: The return of vintage punk

u Models (left to right): Steve Fedorenchick, Jessica Jury, Amanda Gardener, Polina Reynolds, Allison Watson, Stephanie Morphet, Erica Fellion and Patrick Caldwell All photos by Carrie Woodruff, clothing provided by Idorü and The Leechpit v

u Some UCCS students strut their style with outfits from Idoru and The Leechpit. v Fellion is fabulous in fringe in this flapper dress from The Leechpit. The vest adds a touch of vintage punk, modernizing her look. w Watson, Gardener, Caldwell and Fellion model a selection of Idoru’s fashion stock.

w

x Reynolds and Jury display some Leechpit dresses. Asymmetrical tops and ruffles are winning winter wear. y Watson and Caldwell discuss how fashionable they are. Caldwell’s flannel plaid shirt represents a current trend toward the country look. z Morphet shows off sequins and clunkier jewelry with her day-wear.

Styles change every season, and this winter that change can arguably be called a reversion to styles some would consider better left forgotten.

If your parents have their 80’s wardrobe stashed in a box in the attic, it’s time to haul it out, because vintage punk-wear is back with a vengeance.

Animal and floral prints, socks with pumps, jumbles of necklaces, plaid flannel shirts and asymmetrical tops are all very chic right now.

If your folks are hogging all their freshly “in” clothes but you’re not up to creating a whole new wardrobe, you can make use of the clothes you have to stay trendy – just slap some popular winter colors on that outfit of yours: blacks, grays and scarlet take the gold here.

If you quest to stay chic in the Springs, however, there are a few stores you can visit, two of which showcased selections of their products for the photographs adjacent and which, for the student willing to spend a little money, supply some of the most up-to-date seasonal fashions: Idorü (278 N. Tejon St., 80903)

y x

keeps a ready stock of popular clothes, if you can afford to pay the right price. It is, however, not a shop to enter if you have any lingering doubts about your self-esteem – they only fit women’s jeans for sizes ten and smaller – because the store caters to an elitist demographic.

Don’t expect a warm welcome if you don’t fall into this demographic, or if you happen to think that haute couture matches well with emotional affirmation of one’s self esteem.

Just blocks away, The Leechpit (708 N. Weber St., 80903), while perhaps not the most immediate or prescient in fashion sense, presents exponentially lower prices and pleasanter environs for the styleseeking college kid. The intricately designed (if crowded) little store offers a myriad of treasures for those who are willing to look amongst its racks, ranging from the fashionable to the make-it-yourself Halloween costume, and the Dressing Womb (a dressing room that is also an interactive vagina) is worth a trip by itself. u

z

BLACKOUT N I G H T

“I think I’ll come to events in the future, this is much better than the old gym. Way to go UCCS!” –Ethan Laser “The location and this event are great for building community. We have come a long way in a short time. It’s exhilarating!”

–Dastan Harrison “You can feel the difference. The smaller gym felt very constricting. Here the bar is raised high because of the atmosphere.”

–Student Athlete Jessica Lynch “If I could say one thing to the students here it would be: Congratulations. This event was successful because of everyone. We did this and that’s great.”

–Ben Jourdan

Bigger, Better (cont.) thinking we are down by twenty,” explained Lowe.

The men’s team was also keyed up for the big night.

From the moment they stepped on the court, UCCS appeared to be in high energy. It was a close game throughout with both teams trading baskets back and fourth. The game was tied by the end of regulation and overtime was no different.

With only seven seconds left in the overtime, Junior Guard Ben Feilmeier hit a three point shot that proved to be the decisive score.

“That was amazing,” said Feilmeier “That was the best basketball game I’ve ever been a part of. I can’t tell you

eno us.”

hug rect Jub Mo cou they pala had app imp to N gym eryo gam ally

logl the nee

sports

January 26 to February 1, 2010

Photos by: James O’Shea, Ariel Lattimore and Carrie Woodruff

Track team achieves sky high results at AFA meet

| Sports Buzz | Broncos’ 2009 season is a “successful failure”

Matt Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu

Junior Dami Oladiran set a school record of 7.05 seconds for the 60 meter dash during the AFA meet.

Picture courtesy of UCCS Sports Information

Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu

r, Louder Continued from page 1

ough how the fans helped ” This may have been a ge step in the right dition for UCCS athletics. bic commented on the ountain Lions new home urt, saying, “I don’t think y can compare. It’s like a ace compared to what we d before.” The new venue peared to have a major pact on fans according Nuttall, saying, “The new m is amazing. It makes evone want to get into the me because there is actuy room to move around.”

Hopefully the new Gally Event Center will be boost UCCS Basketball eds in the future. u

The UCCS Track team had its second competition of the year Friday, Jan. 15 at the Air Force Academy. For some the event was about succeeding in only their first or second collegiate race; for others it was about gaining confidence and getting back into racing.

The meet opened up with the mile. Junior Kaitlin Frier was the lone contestant wearing black and gold, and she was keyed up going into the race. “I was so nervous, I felt like I had never raced before, but I was excited too since Corey and I have been doing a lot of things right with my training.”

Frier’s nerves and energy did not let her down. Correctly executing the game plan helped guide her to a 10th place finish against many Division I athletes. “I finally got my confidence back!” exclaimed Frier after the race. Coach Corey Kubatzky was also pleased. “It was a good first meet effort.”

For some members of the highly touted freshman class, the race was a chance to adjust to college racing.

Middle distance specialist Kassie Mazzocco commented, “In high school people

baby you, but in college you are expected to know what to do.”

Fellow middle distance runner Jon Christian also noticed a difference. “It will take a while to get used to the speed.”

The best performance of the day for the Mountain Lions came in the 800m run, placing two women and two men in the top six against some stiff competition.

Spirits appeared to be high after the race. As Senior Alex Vasquez pointed out, “We were three seconds ahead of last year, and if we keep that up we will automatically qualify for nationals.”

“I think this is a good first race. It wasn’t our best; we will continue to do better,” added Senior women’s Captain Tracy Falsetto. Junior Chris Reynolds explained that to continue to improve, “the key is staying healthy and training smart; because when you run smart the times will take care of themselves.”

After all was said and done, the meet was a good way to start off the season. “I thought we competed well,” offered Kubatzky. From here, he indicated, the task is to continue to train hard and prepare for the upcoming meets which may allow the men’s and women’s teams to build on these first performances. u

9

When Apollo 13 launched on April 13, 1970 in attempt to reach the outskirts of space and explore the moon, the massive shuttle traversed away from Earth with its astronauts tucked safely away in hopes of exploring new boundaries and gaining a further glimpse into the reality of the unknown.

What began as a journey of hope and ambition for mankind eventually led to a nearly disastrous ending where everything imaginable that could have went wrong, did.

Nearly 40 years after the historical NASA crisis rocked the nation and the world, a similar path has been forged by the Denver Broncos, who ended their 2009 season in the midst of similar fate: Everything that could have possibly went wrong, did.

Now, comparing a football season to an event that held human lives at stake is a little far-fetched, but the dynamics of the situation are somewhat congruent. The Broncos’ tale of adversity and defeat was like watching that of a tragic hero in a dramatic play: An exceptional amount of errors were made in the team’s actions that lead sporadically to their downfall. One NFL analyst and commentator labeled Denver’s vast eradication from the postseason as “watching a car wreck in slow-motion”.

Whatever you want to call it, watching Denver’s impressive 6-0 start fade away like a ghost, game after game and week after week, was quite hard to swallow for any Broncos fan. Skepticism continued to run high even after the Broncos managed

to rush out of the gates with three sufficient wins in a row by defeating Cleveland, Oakland and Cincinnati, who are considered some of the weaker franchises among the NFL. Denver managed to surprise heavy critics, however, when they defeated powerhouse teams of New England and San Diego, with their victory over the Patriots coming in a suspenseful overtime match-up. Denver appeared to have reached a level of play that’s required not only to be playoff-bound, but to be a contender for the Super Bowl.

The momentum the Broncos achieved was short lived, though, as they began to acquire losses in dramatic fashion after experiencing extended time off as the Bye week came and went.

Once the decline of play set in due to sideline disputes among players, followed by communication issues with newly acquired head coach Josh McDaniels, Denver was never able to recover their status as playoff-bound, much less their reigning title as conference leaders.

With the Super Bowl just around the corner, Denver has managed to slip out of the headlines, and the only attention that’s been thrown their way has to do with personnel changes for next season.

I believe the Broncos have the foundation and building blocks to make some noise next year, but as I have said before, the NFL is a growing organism in that it evolves and adapts constantly. What makes football such a unique team sport is that success only comes with consistency and unity. It’s a game that requires all 11 players working together and carrying out their given assignments on every play and in every game, consistently.

I will always reflect back on this season for Denver as the ‘successful failure,’ like Apollo 13 was for NASA. Everything went wrong and the goal was never achieved but at the same time, growth, perseverance and success only come in situations when people are faced with adversity and struggle. u

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Jobs: **We are conducting interviews/auditions Monday, February 8th from 5-630PM** Kaplan is looking for enthusiastic, motivated, and well connected college students to work part time to help Kaplan promote our products and services on your campus. Must be actively enrolled at UCCS, with a class status of Sophomore or above.

Available to work 5 to 10 hours a week (some weeks may require more hours). Available to work at least one academic year (Fall through Spring) To learn more and to apply for your Campus Rep position visit https:// sjobs.brassring.com/1033/asp/tg/cim_jobdetail.asp?partnerid=375&siteid= 138&areq=10985BR (click on ‘Submit to Job’) You can also visit us and search for your Campus Rep position at www. kaplan.com/careers, click on “Kaplan Test Prep and Admissions” and then search PT jobs in your city and state.

To place your own Classified ad, please visit http://scribe.campusave.com

the news is full of contradictions

satire : irony : hilarity

UCCS Student Won’t Believe that “Avatar” Isn’t Real Byron Graham [bgraham2@uccs.edu]

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.” - Student Press Law Center

Students amazed to find SGA actually did something

10 9

is generated by student fees,” as per the SGA website. “That’s BS,” she said, flustered.

“You’d think they could use that money to build a few more parking spaces somewhere.”

Other students interviewed were somewhat less forgiving. “$200,000? Are you kidding me? Is that why we can’t afford to close the school when there’s, like, ten feet of snow on the ground?” sophomore George Peterson asked.“It’s good that they do whatever it is they do, I guess, but really – answer me this – what do they really actually do?” he queried. None of the other students interviewed knew, and more than one was heard to muse aloud “where’s the free food?”

Despite students’ misgivings, SGA President Daniel Garcia was excited that his organization was finally making progress. “I’m so super stoked about this. We’re really starting to make a difference on campus,” he said, noticeably giddy.

“You have no idea how hard we worked to get this thing off the ground.”

Asked what “this thing” actually was, Garcia ended the interview, refusing to answer. Subsequent calls to his office have not been returned.✪

Reasons to not pay for parking

You enjoy molesting the poor little energy efficient lights that provide shelter to the late night walkers.

A photo found on Stuart Millsby’s laptop. The disturbing image shows clear indications of AVS.

Greg Reilly [greilly@uccs.edu] Students and faculty were shocked Tuesday, discovering that the Student Government Association had actually made progress on some campus-related issue over the winter break. Though it is unclear what actual progress had been made, the sentiment was strong and abounding that the gridlock and general ineffectuality of the SGA in recent years took a minor step in the right direction.

According to the SGA website’s completely nonexistent news feed, the SGA met before the break and hammered out a plan to fix some largely irrelevant problem that the vast majority of students would never know was implemented. The Student Government’s Twitter feed (also completely made up) stated that it was a great step toward progress and real change at UCCS. The Scribe interviewed Communications Major Ashley Walton, a senior at UCCS, about this historic breakthrough.

“Who?” she asked, confused. “Really? We have a student government here? What do they do?”

The Scribe informed Walton that the SGA “creates, implements and oversees a $200,000 budget that

Top Ten Veronica Graves

paradox the

The original photo.

LEFT 27 year-old UCCS sophomore Stuart Millsby has fallen into an inconsolable melancholy since his fourth viewing of James Cameron’s latest blockbuster, “Avatar.”

Millsby allegedly lashed out at Tinseltown’s Nighttime Shift Manager Grady Rumplington upon stumbling from the screening auditorium in an otherworldly haze, 3-D glasses still affixed to his acne-scarred temples.

“It was horrible,” Rumplington confessed. “He left the theater with a sort of blank, disbelieving look on his face. He spotted me, I was sweeping up some spilt popcorn and he suddenly shouted, ‘You can’t oppress me or the Na’Vi anymore, Jarhead,’ before sprinting toward me, clawing at my face and scampering out the exit on all fours.” Rumplington was thankfully uninjured during the attack, though he did insist that having popcorn grease pawed across his face filled him with unease.

Millsby is unfortunately quite morbidly afflicted with A.D.S., or Avatar Depression Syndrome. Now I know we Scribers like to joke around with our paper from time to time, but I can assure you A.D.S. is all too real.

As Cameron’s film reigns supreme over the box-office, siphoning an ever more bountiful sum of 3-D money from the pockets of increasingly desperate repeat viewers,

more and more fans across the world find themselves ill-equipped to cope with a world where the dream of “Avatar’s” CGI rendered setting, the fictional planet of Pandora, will be forever out of their reach. Oh, and what a resplendent yet elusive dream it is! Would it not be the grandest of fancies to see, and dare I say touch, a Pandoran Na’Vi? Don’t laugh. I know what you’re thinking. “Get over it, it’s just a movie.” What you meanie naysayers don’t realize, however, is that unlike Pandora, Avatar Depression Syndrome is a grim reality for those who suffer its symptoms. This malady is spreading across every community where the film is screened. Internet forums have coalesced all over the interwebs, and many serve as a valuable resource for lonely fans, finding cold comfort in the collective misery of fellow maladjusting fans.

Millsby has only been seen one last time before disappearing altogether, leaping from car rooftop to car rooftop through Albertson’s parking lot and menacing shoppers with a crudely fashioned bow and arrow. If any readers among you have any information on Stuart Millsby’s whereabouts, please notify The Scribe and then call: 1-800-WHY-AVATAR.✪

Visit uccsscribe.com for links to an actual forum involving this syndrome.

You are studying to be the next Wilderness Survival Man on TV. You believe walking in the frigid Colorado weather toughens you for this experience. One of these days you plan to try streaking it blindfolded.

8 7 6

You have a mud fetish.

You love muddy paths.

Parking at the church and walking to school is like a dream for you.

You’re an adrenaline junkie; you appreciate the thrill of texting while navigating through car traffic.

You’re excited for the times whenever your progeny are complaining, that they will be told of your many voyages to school. “When I was your age I had to walk two miles to school, over an eight lane highway, and up a thousand foot hill.”

5 4

You enjoy using the walk from the church as a friend-making experience.

You’re a dude and you enjoy honking and waving from your buddy’s ride or revving the engine of that little pimped out Geo as you drive to the church to park.

3 2 1

You’re a chick and you appreciate the extra male attention you get from walking across the highway.

You don’t enjoy spending 15 minutes searching for a parking spot, only to have to park at the farthest possible spot from your class.

You park at the church to get exercise. You use this walk to justify those muffins, soft drink and pizza that you will buy (and eat) later. vgraves@uccs.edu

How to survive a shooting situation Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu

SELF-DEFENSE On Dec. 27, a shooting occurred in the early morning outside of 13 Pure nightclub. On Dec. 28 shots were fired outside of Hill Park Apartments. On Jan. 5 a shooting occurred at the Walmart at Academy Boulevard and Razorback Road. More than two robberies a day have occurred since the beginning of 2010, and it is expected that 2010 will see double the number that occurred in 2009. As students out and about in the Colorado Springs area,The Scribe has compiled a guide of how to protect yourself when placed in these situations.

255 - 3111 Public Safety

How to treat a bullet wound Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu Call for help as soon as possible.

Make sure you are in a safe location: If someone has been shot accidentally, say while hunting, make sure everyone else’s guns are pointed away and cleared of ammunition. If someone has been shot in a crime, make sure the gunman is no longer around before moving.

Check the victims A, B, C, D, E’s (see right).

The A.B.C.D.E’s A (Airway): Make sure the victim’s airway is not constricted, particularly if he or she is unconscious. Move his or her head to the side.

B (Breathing): Make sure the victim is taking regular breaths and you can see his or her chest going up and down.

C (Circulation):

Only move a victim if you must get them to location that is safer than the one you are currently in.

Check the victim’s pulse. If there is no pulse, begin CPR.

Controlling bleeding is one of the most important tasks you can perform when treating a gunshot wound victim. Apply direct pressure to the wound with a rag or article of clothing if such is available. If the victim has been shot above the neck keep the head up and make sure the victim can still breathe.

If the victim is unable to move his or her hands or feet, he or she may have a spinal cord injury. Deformity refers to fractures, dislocations or anything else that looks out of place. Do not move the victim if any of these signs is present.

When help arrives tell them everything you have done so far.

Information for this article provided by wikihow.com.

Make sure to check the victim so that you do not miss wounds that are difficult to see, like the armpit or buttocks.

D (Disability/Deformity):

E (Exposure):

It’s a Saturday night and you’re leaving a bar downtown. Out of nowhere, gunshots are fired. In case you ever find yourself in a life or death situation, here are some things you should know, according to wikihow.com.

Know your surroundings: Make sure you are aware of street signs and landmarks that will make it easy for the authorities to find you. Find a safe place to hide, and, as soon as you can, contact the police or local authority.

Respond when you hear gunshots: Listen to where the gunshots are coming from so you can run in the opposite direction. Run in a zigzag or other abstract pattern so if the shooter does come after you they will be more likely to miss.

How to defend yourself if the shooter is pointing a gun at you: If you know the shooter, you may try talking to them, but be careful:There is no guarantee this will work. If possible, you should do whatever you can to get the weapon away.You can distract the shooter by throwing large objects at him or her, if they are available. If you are in a group and rush the shooter together, it is more likely he or she will be overtaken. If you are close enough to take the weapon, grab the barrel of the gun first and point it away from your body. It is likely the gunman will try to move it away from you; hold tight and move your weight forward. You may now proceed to punch the throat and face, scratch the eyes, knee the groin and bite the hand of the assailant.

Call the authorities right away: When they arrive, be as helpful as you can and tell them everything you can remember. Seek help if you are disturbed by the incident.

Safety tips: 1. If walking at night, avoid alleys and

roads that don’t feel safe 2. Travel in a group if possible 3. Be aware of where you are and walk in

lighted areas 4. If you do not have a knife, loop your

keys between each of your

fingers and stab upward

Self-defense classes Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu

At UCCS: RAD (Rape Aggression Defense) courses for women only: Basic Self Defense: Twelve-hour course designed to teach empowerment, risk reduction and self-defense techniques.

What to do in a violent situation on campus

Advanced Self-Defense: Incorporates skills learned in Basic Self-Defense. This sixteen-hour course adds higher stress environments and advanced defensive skills.

Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu The recent string of shootings, stabbings and other violent incidents in the Colorado Springs area has raised questions about the city’s safety. It has also reminded many that similar occurrences could happen anywhere, including on campus.

There is no telling how someone might react in a life or death situation. Having an idea of how to protect yourself and others beforehand could be the key to surviving a dangerous situation, whether on campus or elsewhere.

An important survival tactic, said Sergeant Brian McPike of the UCCS Police Department, is being aware of your location. Knowing the building name and specific classroom number you are in can ensure that help reaches you in time.

Depending on the situation, if protecting yourself in a classroom is the best option and time allows, block the doorway(s) with a large object (a large desk, if available), lock the door(s) if possible, close the blinds, and turn off the lights.

Everyone in the room should silence their computers, cell phones and pagers.

Ask someone to dial the UCCS Police at 255-3111 or 911, which will connect to the Colorado Springs Police Department.

“Anytime anyone feels their own personal safety, or the safety of anyone on the campus could be at risk, they should contact the UCCS Police Department,” McPike said. “A suspicious package should never be handled or moved, and if you hear someone threatening to bring a weapon to campus, it should always be reported.”

If it is not safe to talk, leave the line open for the emergency dispatch to hear what is being said. If there is a smaller closet within a larger

room that is accessible, consider using that area to conceal yourself and others.

If you are outside and hear gunshots, run in the opposite direction of the firing in a zigzag motion and find a place to hide.

McPike encourages members of the campus community to visit the Public Safety website for safety tips and procedures, and to view (at the website) “Shots Fired – When Lightening Strikes on Campus,” a twenty minute video describing the concepts, actions and preparations necessary should an active violent situation occur on campus.

Individuals may also register for Public Safety’s Emergency Notification System. The system quickly notifies individuals of critical and/or emergency information with a text message. The system also sends an e-mail to all active UCCS e-mail accounts and a voice message to select phones in classrooms, labs, and other public areas on campus. Public Safety will only activate this system during a campus emergency.

Emergency procedures guides are posted in every classroom and office, as well as other areas around the campus.

These multi-color guides come in a “quick reference” format with guidelines on how to respond to a variety of emergency situations, according to McPike. This guide as well as other information on safety is also posted on the UCCS Public Safety website at http://www. uccs.edu/~pusafety/ emerplan/guide.html.

Selfdefense techniques

Jackie Parkinson jparkins@uccs.edu

For when you are unarmed and in an assault situation, use these quick and helpful self-defense techniques to escape an attacker, according to TACT Self Defense.

the ball of your foot is up against the door, and the heel of your foot is placed firmly on the ground. This way, if the attacker tries to force entry, your foot will act as a door jam.

Control your fear

Avoid date rape

When placed in a situation that requires you to defend yourself, it is easy to panic and not react.

However, “Combat is 90 percent mental and only 10 percent physical,” says TACT Self Defense, so overcome the situation by becoming angry.When you are angry, your mind goes into attack mode, which makes your actions more difficult for the attacker to predict.

Opt for double dates if you do not know the individual you are dating, or choose to meet at a public place. Also, make sure that a friend knows where and when you are going. While on the date, watch your drinks at all times and finish the beverage before you leave to and from the bathroom.

If your date returns with a full drink, do not drink it or order a different drink.

Do not leave with your date or let your date walk you to your car. If you do end up in this situation, be sure to keep a self-defense product easily accessible.

Prevent a forced entry Always look through the peep hole to see who is outside. If you do not know the person knocking or ringing the doorbell, then do not answer the door. In these situations it is best to listen to your gut instinct. If it is someone making a delivery, you can always call out to them and ask the company they are with and call the company to confirm.

If you do open the door, make sure you are wearing shoes and open the door slightly so that

During an attack situation Use the power of manipulation by sweettalking your attacker, then turn the tables when they least expect it or during mid-sentence. Then use your surroundings to your advantage by pushing the attacker into objects. Also, try to get your attacker on the ground so that you have the opportunity to run away for assistance.

Key Chain Defense: This four-hour class teaches defensive techniques using both a keychain and flashlight.

See the Public Safety website for more information: http://www.uccs. edu/~pusafety/emerplan/ index.shtml In Colorado Springs: Bfs Boxing & Kickboxing 4335 N. Academy Blvd.

Colorado Springs, CO 80918 Chinese Shao Lin Center 908 N. Circle Dr. Ste B Colorado Springs, CO 80909 Chinese Shao Lin Center 908 N. Circle Dr. Ste B Colorado Springs, CO 80909 Kidpower 627 N. Weber St. Ste 6 Colorado Springs, CO 80903 Modern Taekwondo 951 N. Powers Blvd.

Colorado Springs, CO 80915 Richardson Robert & Laura 4325 Chamberlain St. Colorado Springs, CO 80906 United States Karate Academy 1753 S. 8th St. Colorado Springs, CO 80906

14 opinion

January 26 to February 1, 2010

| Truth Bombs | Do not (ever) give Pat Robertson any money

Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu

The recent earthquake in Haiti has left the country in devastation, to the point where the great city of Port au Prince is no longer recognizable, and many of its citizens remain stranded among the wreckage of their former homes, undoubtedly praying for rescue. Untold numbers of dead lie beneath the ravaged landscape. This is the kind of event that leaves everyone speechless, reeling from the unimaginable cruelty of fate and the fearsome power of nature. The pronounced suffering has sent aftershocks through the consciences of the world, leaving people eager to help

despite their shaken faith.

One of the central questions that spiritual people face is, “How can one continue to love a God who does something so horrible to people who’ve already suffered enough? If God loves all His children, why is the world so unfair for so many of them?”

Lucky for Evangelical Christians, Televangelist Pat Robertson is always at the ready with words of consolation. Last Wednesday on the Robertson-owned Christian Broadcasting Network’s talk program, “The 700 Club,” Robertson said, of the tragedy in Haiti: “Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” Robertson began as his pretty co-host nodded like a good Christian wife. “They were under the heel of the French.

You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French. True story.

And so, the devil said, okay

it’s a deal.”

Now I’m suspicious of any “true story” that features Satan in any literal, corporeal, deal-wheeling incarnation, because there’s no proof that the devil exists, let alone gets involved with politics.

However, even if I grant that perhaps Mr. Robertson was speaking of a metaphorical deal with a metaphorical devil, his remarks are nevertheless absurd in this context.

In the televangelist’s reckoning, this exchange with Beelzebub rendered the entire nation of Haiti “cursed” thereafter, which of course explains their poverty and troubled history. It was the devil who is responsible for Haiti’s quandary, not postcolonial neglect, crippling economic sanctions, centuries of oppression, governmental corruption, or even shifting tectonic plates. Furthermore, it is the Haitians’ own damn fault for dealing with the devil; after all, they should have known that their devil is a real slippery trickster.

That is precisely what Pat

Cold snap!

Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu

I understand why those living through “The Great British White Out” would question global warming theory. Weather is intimate to everyone, and while slipping around on a freezing road during a shortage of road salt, it would be easy to ask “Just exactly when is it going to warm up?”

Conversely, those living in Cherrapunji, India are asking “When is it going to cool off ?” They are used to living in what used to be known as the wettest place on earth, but because of apparent global warming, rainfall is disappearing.

Those of us who grew up in Black Forest (north of the Springs) know that severe winters seem to come in cycles, and everyone here in Colorado Springs has ex-

perienced some significant cold this winter. But what exactly is going on?

Scientists insist that global warming is still occurring, but in longer and larger cycles, so regional variation is only that: Regional. Massive amounts of geologic evidence suggest change as the constant in the earth’s climate history, and relatively recent cycles of global glaciations bolster the argument for constant change.

Politicians want to use climate research for policy creation, and the recent cold snap has given opponents of environmentalism a platform. “The Environment” has always been a perfect political point of contention that can evenly cleave the American public along existing cultural lines.

The problem, or beauty, of the situation, if you want an evenly divided nation, is that the existing divisions amongst Americans are made from core values instilled over lifetimes of experiences, which are shared across generations. So, the earth is either something to marvel at and preserve, or something to use as a raw material and manage.

Weather is either something to cherish and fear, or some-

thing to use and fight.

One thing is for sure: Weather doesn’t care about us, but everybody cares about the weather. Perhaps that’s because it is such an important part of life that we have a hard time stepping outside of ourselves.

But we really need to look at apparent weather patterns in their own temporal dimension. Which is way longer than we have been watching or paying attention to.

Humans actually were watching, but we don’t have the record of what happened. Paper is inherently subject to the weather. Records are impermanent.

Maybe we should look down on our ancestors for fighting amongst themselves instead of taking steadfast notes on the weather. Or maybe we should look down at ourselves for thinking our science can figure out all things absolutely.

We have fantastic tools to analyze weather patterns but not enough raw data to feed them. Our policies are dictated by the bipartisan shakedown, and environmental policies are ripe for contention. But politicians will never stop fighting, and the weather will never stop changing. u

Robertson, one of the most influential religious leaders in the country, a man who can hold the pious ears and eyes of millions of American worshippers at his disposal, believes. Is that the Holy Spirit I feel? No, wait, it’s a rage seizure.

Historically speaking, Robertson is referring to the 1791 Slave Uprising of Saint Domingue, the incendiary strike that sparked the Haitian Revolution. The “Deal with the Devil” that Robertson insists Haitians made was actually an infamous Vodoun ritual that preceded a bloody campaign wherein the escaped slaves seized control of the land from their former masters.

I guess I can forgive Roberston’s ignorance of Haitian Vodou (which is essentially a hybrid of Catholicism and traditional African Shamanism), as his belief structure champions ignorance and lends itself to xenophobia.

According to Robertson’s corrupt ideology, all nonChristians are Hell-bound, and the suffering people of the world deserve adver-

sity because they don’t believe what Pat Robertson believes. I would posit that Mr. Robertson’s belief system (Christian dominionism) has degenerated to the point where he will blame the victims of tragedies to minimize the cognitive dissonance his followers experience when trying to make sense of a tragedy.

Pat Robertson and his ilk have sidestepped potential existential crises among their flock by coming up with reasons that God hates the afflicted. When horrified Americans were still reeling from the senseless tragedy of 9/11, Robertson was there to blame it all on his political rivals.

For example, did you know homosexuality and social tolerance thereof causes hurricanes? In the aftermath of Katrina, Pat Robertson comforted a shell-shocked nation by assuring everyone that it was the indulgence of the gays, rather than structural disrepair and torrential rainstorms, that had flooded the levees and drowned a historic city.

It’s a handy rhetorical strategy for a Christian dominionist who believes Christians are endowed with a divine right to rule.

Instead of reconciling their faith with the grim, tragic realities of life in God’s world, Robertson’s flock can take arrogant comfort in his callous words. Rather than be overcome by guilt or empathy, they are filled with the self-satisfaction that, yet again, being a white Christian in America has paid off.

I realize that perhaps I’m directing some misplaced anger toward Robertson due to my own inability to comprehend the scope of tragedy millions of Haitians are facing right now. I have no answers for this horrific turn of events; natural disasters are often reminders of how powerless humans are against the will of nature.

Many wonderful philanthropic services have organized around relief work in Haiti. Please, donate to any charity except Pat Robertson’s hypocritical and selfserving organization, the OB Relief Fund. u

opinion 15

January 26 to February 1, 2010

This week’s challenge: Spoiled brats

Stephen Farrell sfarrell@uccs.edu

We’ve all seen National Lampoon’s “Van Wilder.”

Ryan Reynolds plays the extremely popular, seven-year college student Van Wilder.

He’s funny, stylish, goodlooking, and well liked. He’s everyone’s hook-up for everything.

Well, on the flipside there exists a very small fraction of students at UCCS who fancy themselves as UCCS’ very own “Van Wilders.”

However, the only movie character they even slightly resemble is Johnny Depp’s mentally handicapped brother from “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.” In fact, many times they even pose a threat to a rather costly investment: Your education.

You’ve seen these kids: They’re typically some ver-

sion of that kid who comes into class wearing aviators, a hat with the brim tilted slightly upward to the side, and his iPod, and then he sits down and obnoxiously proceeds to run his slobber box until class ends. Meanwhile everyone else is left with no other option but to try and faze them out in hopes of actually learning something.

He’s usually that same kid who sees college as yet another “meaningless” semester because his parents will foot the tuition bill for him no matter what grades he may (or may not) earn.

To those would-be Vans: Since you obviously enrolled at UCCS for attention while the rest of us enrolled to enhance ourselves intellectually and opportunistically, I’m going to give you that attention you so fervently crave by dedicating this column to you.

For the rest of you reading this, you probably don’t have to try hard to remember the last time you had to put up with one of these repulsive clowns in class. It’s conceivably possible you’re sitting next to him at this moment, ready to roll up this newspaper and beat him stupid.

So to the referenced wannabe Van Wilders reading this: We get it: we get that you’re cool, fly, pimp, etc.

Really, we get it. That said, you’re obviously too cool for school; just do the rest of us students (and faculty) a favor by dropping out and filling out a full-time application for that hotdog stand outside the Home Depot on Academy.

Because here’s a newsflash for you: There are students who have to fight tooth and nail (financially speaking) to stay enrolled; there are students whose parents can barely afford to keep them enrolled, so they have to use every penny’s worth to study hard; students who may be well off financially but still value their education and want to get their money’s worth. There are also students who are military combat veterans who attend classes only through the grace of the G.I. Bill.

So this semester, take note that all four above examples are who you owe that favor to, you obnoxious clowns, because they don’t care to deal with you or your childish outbursts that worked to keep you cool in high school. u

How to Identify a Spoiled Brat (If you look like this, please leave)

Photo by aye_shamus. Licensed under Creative Commons.

Checklist: 1. iPhone 2. “Hat with the brim tilted slightly upward to the side” 3. Popped collar 4. Expensive name brand polo 5. “Aviators” 6. Smug expression Note: A score of 6/6 warrants a good beating with a rolled up newspaper.

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