March 9, 2010

the scribe NEWS

Are student evaluations reliable?

page 4

The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs.

March 9 to March 15, 2010 [Volume 34; Issue 21]

WTF: Where’s the funding? Colorado students rally for higher education

CULTURE

Averi Walker awalker@uccs.edu

St. Patrick’s Day 101: Irish pubs and grubs in the Springs

page 5

700 students from across the state gathered at the Capitol in Denver to protest funding cuts.

Catherine Jensen Not your toddlers’ or grandparents’ puppet show

cjensen2@uccs.edu

page 8 PARADOX Student clash atop Mount Trashmore

page 9 Top 10: Connotations of March Madness

page 9 OPINION |Truth bombs| Scott Brown makes a GOP FAIL-ibuster

page 10

|The Lucid Line| Hippies, meet the Natural Gas Industry

page 10

SPORTS

An estimated 700 students marched from Auraria Campus to the Denver Capitol Building on Wednesday, March 3, demanding that Colorado lawmakers find alternatives to raising college tuition. Those gathered at the capitol worried that when federal stimulus money runs out next year, higher education will be hit hard, leading to tuition increases and restricted access to education.

Students from all corners of the state gathered at Tivoli Commons, and

rconley@uccs.edu

page 11

Mountain Lions come up short against Metro State in playoff loss

page 11

notion in this country that people have the ability to pick themselves up by their bootstraps,” said student Joe Howard from CSU. “But next year, the state of Colorado is cutting the bootstraps from the budget.”

Colorado ranks poorly in several measures of higher education funding and with tuition rising nine percent every year, students feel higher education will soon become inaccessible for those of middle and lower income. Drew Johnson, President of PPCC, told The Scribe, “We need to find a way to protect higher ed.

K-12 is protected by the Constitution and it is only right that something is also in place to protect higher ed.

Ariel Lattimore Community colleges like PPCC and non-traditional campuses like UCCS will lose too many students, and most will have nowhere else they can go.”

State Representative Karen Middleton (D-Aurora) told The Scribe she would like to see a P20 Ballot Initiative. This initiative would create an “education pipeline” from K-12 through higher education and dedicates a portion of sales tax revenue to education. Despite the urgent cries for immediate change, Middleton said the economy needs to recover before funding will be available and anticipates 18 months of planning.

Continued on page 7

Battle of the Bands Rhiannon Conley

Men’s 4x400 and High Jump: RMAC Champs

with signs and banners held high, marched to the capitol.

The rally’s theme, “Invest in us, we are the future. We are higher education,” was chanted along the way.

Andrew Bateman, President of the Associated Students of Colorado (ASC), student leaders from UCD, CSU, CU, PPCC and Metro State, and UCCS’s Student Body President Daniel Garcia spoke at the event. The student representatives from across the state shared a similar message: Higher education must be a priority for Colorado representatives and long term, sustainable solutions to higher education funding issues are necessary.

“There seems to be this

Six finalists are left after UCCS’s Battle of the Bands opening round last week.

They will compete March 13 at the Blacksheep for a chance to open for the 3OH!3 concert this April.

Six finalists – three of which are UCCS acts – were chosen out of a pool of 22 UCCS and local musical acts. Shore White, J Carter and Splyt were the UCCS bands that made the cut. The Office of Student Activities (OSA) President Michelle

Kissler told The Scribe that Shore White is a combination of UCCS student Sean Waldron and Undersummer Stars, a UCCS band who performed for the Phi Sigma Sigma benefit concert last fall.

J Carter, who is performing at the Talent for Haiti benefit concert coming up in April, is also a UCCS student.

Splyt is comprised of Chris Vigil, a student sports announcer whose music entertained crowds at UCCS basketball games last season.

The other three finalists, Continued on page 4

J. Carter raps to the finals.

SGA constitution revisions in the works

James O’Shea IV

Finalists: UCCS Bands: Shore White, J. Carter and Splyt Local Bands: Year 7, Golden Ticket, Take it to Eighty-eight Finals to be held on March 13 at The Blacksheep, doors open at 7:30 p.m., show starts at 8 p.m.

The 19-page SGA Constitution is under revision once again. One reason being that the current by-laws are in contradiction with the SGA constitution. The other is to create less timeconsuming, complicated processes and better serve UCCS students.

The 10-page proposed draft, now in review, will mainly address issues of funding and SGA office positions. The goal is to pass the new draft by April 16.

Matt Seay, Chair of the Rules and Organizations Committee and a student representative in the House of Representatives, commented on the overall picture of the changes. “It’s good to be well-defined on some things, but if a process is defined by the constitution, it can make things very time consuming and complicated.”

Seay said that the Rules and Organizations Committee has been working to clear up ambiguities and make processes more understandable. “We also plan to enact a uniform set of by-laws to avoid conflicts in both definitions and processes.”

Another issue addressed in the revised constitution proposal is simplifying the funding process for school clubs.

In the current system, students apply for funding through the ROAR Office.

The requests are forwarded to the Budget Advisory Committee, which then makes recommendations to the House or Senate. The student club representatives present their funding proposal to the House or Senate, after which the chamber votes to approve or deny the request.

This presentation, and the sometimes intense questioning that can sometimes Continued on page 4

CONTACT | phone: (719) 255 - 3658 | fax: (719) 255 - 3600 | email: scribe@uccs.edu | website: www.uccsscribe.com

2

editorial

March 9 to March 15, 2010

scribe staff

Higher education degree freeze

Jackie Parkinson Editor-in-Chief

On March 3 around 700 students marched to the Denver Capitol Building to rally against higher education budget cuts.

A sign held by a student (featured on the front page) that day read, “I’m ditching class so my children have classes to ditch.” The students that marched to the Capitol were after more than just an excuse to ditch class; they were after hope for a brighter future.

But where were the other 218,000 students of publicly-funded higher education institutions?

Right now Colorado ranks low among several measures of higher education funding, and the little funding that we receive is likely going to be cut significantly over the next few years. The only way universities can really make up for the cut is by raising

tuition and inevitably, institutional financial aid will drop as well.

Students across Colorado already pay more than their fair share for their education, and the increase means that many will be forced to go without a higher education degree. For those who can afford to stay, this does not mean much except that class sizes will decrease. For those who cannot afford to stay, this means a lost opportunity for a better future.

With a lessening amount of educated people in Colorado, not only will the disadvantaged students lose, but the economy of Colorado will as well. There will be significantly fewer people to work in higher paying jobs, which in turn means lower productivity. If you do not educate the people in your state, how do you expect to reap the rewards of their higher productivity, higher wages and, therefore, higher tax revenues?

Lawmakers should be asking themselves this very question when they put higher education on the chopping block. Yet, in all of the news reports from the day, only one lawmaker was quoted — State Rep. Karen Middleton.

All the rest were either watching from the balcony

or busying themselves with other tasks. Each Colorado lawmaker was personally sent a letter inviting them to the rally, but only one responded.

The lack of legislator-interest may seem like a shock.

Yet, how do we expect the lawmakers to respond when only 700 out of an estimated 218,000 two-and four-year public institution students decide to speak out?

We need to make a stronger statement if we expect state legislators to resist the temptation to make up for their budget shortfalls by making the easy grab at the big pot of higher education funding.

While some of us may not have heard about the march, and others attended class that day, we need to remember that the need for our voices to be heard on the issue did not stop on March 3. We need to continue with our efforts by holding events at all 27 of our campuses, and, ideally, by sending 218,000 letters to our lawmakers.

We need to get these lawmakers to the breaking point where they realize just how important higher education in Colorado is, and not just to the point where they put on a good show now and cut our funding later. ◆

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Just call (719) 255 - 3469

striving to present the truth to the students by creating an open forum for opinions and ideas

Editor-in-Chief Jackie Parkinson

Managing Editor Tim Canon

Copy Editor Randy Robinson

Culture Editor Avalon Manly

Opinion Editor Byron Graham

Campus News Editor Catherine Jensen

Sports Editor Matthew Crandall

Layout Editor Now Hiring

Advertising Manager Sarah Tindell

Business Manager Robert Rodriguez

Columnists Tim Canon, Steve Farrell, Byron Graham, Veronica Graves, Brock Kilgore

Reporters Rhiannon Conley, Jessica Lynch, Lauren Mueller, Rob Versaw, Averi Walker, Kay Wynarsky

Photographers Kevin Kassem, Ariel Lattimore, Carrie Woodruff

Layout Designers

Alec Bishop, Shreya Raj

Cartoonist Arno

Web Designer Dorian Rogers

Marketing Intern Amanda Luchini

Interning Reporters Brandi Ballard, Jessica Vaughan, Carly Webb

Interning Photographer James O’Shea IV, Chelsea Bartlett

Distributor Donald Trujillo

Advisor Laura Eurich

Information: Archives

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For more information about The Scribe, email requests to: scribe@uccs.edu

Recycle

...this paper ...your graded papers ...soda cans

tues: 3/9

wed: 3/10

Outerwear sale @ Bookstore

student life thurs: 3/11

fri: 3/12

sat:3/13

sun: 3/14

mon: 3/15

Outerwear sale @ Bookstore

Outerwear sale @ Bookstore

Outerwear sale @ Bookstore

Cardio Circuit @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m.

Aquacize @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m.

Research Skills Jumpstart Workshop @ Library 9:30 a.m.

Student commuter donuts @ Columbine 7:30 a.m.

Curiosity Unlimited lecture with Dr. Josh Dunn @ UC 116 9:30 a.m.

Little Murders – FREE for UCCS students @ Osborne Studio Theater (U-Hall) 8 p.m.

Leisure Reading Sale @ Bookstore

Vinyasa Flow Yoga @ Rec Center 12:15 p.m.

Little Murders – FREE for UCCS students @ Osborne Studio Theater (U-Hall) 8 p.m.

Healthy Weight Loss Strategies @ UC 116 6:30 p.m.

Research Skills Jumpstart Workshop @ Library 3:30 p.m.

Vinyasa Flow Yoga @ Rec Center 11:45 a.m.

Spring 2010 Career and Grad School Fair @ Events Center 12:30 p.m.

Battle of the Bands @ The Blacksheep 8 p.m.

Get Fit Club @ Rec Center, Noon

weekly calendar

Little Murders – FREE for UCCS students @ Osborne Studio Theater (UHall) 8 p.m.

Flobots @ Ogden Theater 9 p.m.

quote of the week:

“It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.”

- Irish toast. Happy St. Patty’s Day.

email quotes of the week to: scribelayout@gmail.com

Practice, Practice, Practice!

the first person to bring both of these completed sudoku puzzles will receive a $10 La’au’s Tacos gift card. bottom floor UCenter rm.

106

1 easy, 1 medium

✁

cut and stick between the pages of your textbook (you know, the one you never read)

✁  You are HERE 

BOOKMARK of the week

Tue March 9 + Outerwear sale @ Bookstore + Vinyasa Flow Yoga @ Rec Center 12:15 p.m. + Research Skills Jumpstart Workshop @ Library 9:30 a.m. + Healthy Weight Loss Strategies @ UC 116 6:30 p.m.

Wed March 10 + Outerwear sale @ Bookstore + Cardio Circuit @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m. + Research Skills Jumpstart Workshop @ Library 3:30 p.m.

Thur March 11 + Outerwear sale @ Bookstore Aquacize @ Rec Center 6:30 a.m. + Vinyasa Flow Yoga @ Rec Center 11:45 a.m. + Spring 2010 Career and Grad School Fair @ Events Center 12:30 p.m.

Fri March 12 + Outerwear sale @ Bookstore + Curiosity Unlimited lecture with Dr. Josh Dunn @ UC 116 9:30 a.m. + Little Murders – FREE for UCCS students @ Osborne Studio Theater 8 p.m. + Flobots @ Ogden Theater 9 p.m.

Sat March 13 + Little Murders – FREE for UCCS students @ Osborne Studio Theater 8 p.m. + Battle of the Bands @ The Blacksheep 8 p.m.

Sun March 14 + Little Murders – FREE for UCCS students @ Osborne Studio Theater 8 p.m.

Mon March 15 + Leisure Reading Sale @ Bookstore + Get Fit Club @ Rec Center, Noon

4

campus news

March 9 to March 15, 2010

Battle of the Bands (cont.)

Continued from page 1

Are student evaluations reliable?

Jessica Lynch jlynch@uccs.edu

Shore White was formed with Sean Waldron and Undersummer Stars specifically for this competition.

James O’Shea IV who are not UCCS acts, were Year 7, Golden Ticket and Take it to Eighty-eight.

Each band was given ten minutes to perform, with eleven bands performing on each night. OSA sponsored the event and was also in charge of the judging.

“We had two judges, one from OSA and one outside community member,” said Kissler. “They each followed a set of judging criteria compiled from other campuses that have held Battle of the Bands, adjusted to fit an opener for 3OH!3.”

Kissler said that turnout for the two opening round nights was decent. “First night was pretty average, and the next night we had a pretty steady flow of students,” she said. Kissler estimated that 50 students showed up the first night, with about double that watching the performance the second night.

Kissler said that because 3OH!3 is practically of its own music genre, finding a band to open is difficult.

“But the talent was pretty impressive. I was surprised,” she said. “Anytime you have a competition like that, you’re going to have some bands that are not what you’re looking for, but you always get some really good ones too.”

“The chance to open up for 6,000 people is something that a week ago I wouldn’t have thought possible. But somehow it’s happening and it’s happening next week. We’re getting a chance.”

- Sean Waldron The opportunity to open for a major label band is likely a welcome opportunity for up-and-coming artists, including those from UCCS. “It’s kind of surreal, actually, just because 3OH!3 is huge,” said Waldron, who is per-

forming with Shore White.

“The chance to open up for 6,000 people is something that a week ago I wouldn’t have thought possible. But somehow it’s happening and it’s happening next week.

We’re getting a chance.”

OSA selected 3OH!3 on Jan. 22 to headline its first annual spring concert this April 22. 3OH!3 is comprised of CU-Boulder alumnus Nathaniel Motte and Sean Foreman, and is known for its unique blend of electronic and hip hop music.

The Battle of the Bands Finals will be held at the Black Sheep (2106 East Platte Ave) on March 13 at 8 p.m. (doors open at 7:30). The event is free for students with a UCCS ID card.

Check out OSA’s website for more information about The Battle of the Bands, as well as the 3OH!3 concert at http://www.uccs. edu/~osa/index.html. ◆ Tim Canon contributed to this article.

SGA revises Constitution (cont.)

Continued from page 1 follow, can last several hours and exert a toll on clubs asking for funding.

In the proposed draft, this process would be cut in half.

The Budget Advisory Board would process the club funding requests, meet with the club to discuss the proposal and then make a decision. Additionally, the Student Body President would no longer have the power to veto a club funding proposal. The Student Director of Finance would also become a member of the Executive Council.

“Under the current sys-

tem, many clubs seem to be confused and intimidated by our funding process,” commented Seay. “By adding this revision, club members can have personal interaction with members of Student Government, gain familiarity with the funding process, and do not have to worry about presenting to the Senate or House.”

With the constitutional funding changes, Seay believes SGA would have more time available to focus on other roles like legislation and ballot initiatives.

The second significant

change to the SGA Constitution would be the terms of eligibility for office. In the current constitution, Seay says, “Requirements for eligibility to hold office in SGA are relatively low and difficult to enforce.”

The impeachment process is also vague. The new version would have be more stringent: Members who aren’t serving students according to the SGA Constitution can be removed from office. The new draft clearly lays out the terms of eligibility and an impeachment process. ◆

A common belief among students is that Faculty Course Questionnaires (FCQs) hold little power.

Consequently, many students feel that the evaluations are a waste of time and effort.

Communication Professor Don Morley, who teaches a communication research class based on statistical methods, has done an exceptional amount of research on FCQs, including his own results over time. Once just an inexperienced, 30-year-old teacher at UCCS, Morley believed that students related to him and liked him, and at the end of his first several semesters, his ratings were high. Since then, his evaluations have suffered.

Some of Morley’s research, he believes, have begun to explain his and others’ changing results. One study compared attractiveness and ease of a professor’s class with the ending

evaluations, and found that age is an important factor in overall results.

Morley has also studied the shift in student evaluation validity. Interestingly, evaluations in the ‘70s were valued more than studies more recently conducted.

As Morley explained, “All kinds of noted people will defend them as valid,” however, many times, student reliability is overlooked. Much of the current research, said Morley, finds students as both unpredictable and an occasionally useless source of information.

Striving to overcome this issue, Morley takes a mathematical perspective on reliability. Found on his web page is a computer program that statistically determines the reliability of any FCQ on campus. The ICC-AK formula is able to derive a number between 0 and 1, from the course evaluations, which determines the reliability of that particular set of FCQs based on consistency of results. The closer the ICC-AK is to 1, the more agreement found on the class’s evaluations and the more accurate, he said,

are the results.

For example, if Art History scored a 0.87, then the majority of the class felt a similar way about the course and the FCQ is relatively reliable. The courses scoring close to 1 are considered the most important to analyze because they are the most valid, according to Morley.

When asked about how serious FCQs are taken by the administration and the possible repercussions of negative reviews, Dean’s Review Committee Member and Psychology Professor Hasker Davis refused to be interviewed. Morley said that FCQs are of top priority to the committee in making faculty-related decisions.

Still, Morley could not confirm that FCQs have ever led directly to a tenured professor’s dismissal. “It is not to my knowledge that a tenured professor has ever been let go,” Morley answered.

Nonetheless, poor results on FCQs, according to Morley, can influence professors’ annual compensation increases, and if evaluations do not improve, a professor improvement plan can be implemented. ◆

culture mini-feature

March 9 to March 15, 2010

5

St. Patrick’s Day 101: Irish pubs and grubs in the Springs McCabe’s

Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu There are rock inscriptions in southeastern Colorado that some scientists believe to be evidence of a Celtic presence here in C.E. 450. The idea has been debunked by most, but what is certain is that St. Patrick’s Day brings out the Irish in all of us.

The original St. Patrick’s Day was a day of exemption from the temperance of Catholic Lent, hence the emphasis on eating and drinking. Regardless of religious orientation, UCCS students may indulge in Irish culture in more ways than just with a huge party.

For those who are of age for St. Patty’s Day, here are some pointers.

1.

Go early

– All of the Irishthemed establishments reviewed here will be absolutely packed, so getting there early ensures the best food, fastest service and hopefully a place to sit.

2.

Eat lots – There is more

3.

Don’t drink whiskey – OK, I am of Irish

4.

5.

O’Furry’s

520 South Tejon St

900 East Fillmore St

Photo by Brock Kilgore

Photo by Brock Kilgore

McCabe’s has the best food of the Irish establishments reviewed here. It will be insanely busy on St. Patty’s Day, but luckily it opens at 7 a.m.. Start the day with the Irish Fry, consisting of Irish bacon (ham), blood sausages (don‘t ask, just eat), grilled tomatoes, taters, eggs and soda bread ($9.50).

The restaurant has Strongbow Cider on tap, which is a tart, hard cider that is all too easy to drink. The Tim Finnegan Band starts at noon, and the Riverdance girls will be spinning through all day long.

Located close to UCCS, O’Furry’s might be the place to go when Murphy’s gets too crowded. They have had the best chicken wings in Colorado Springs for generations, so give them a try (25 cents on Saturdays). The bar shares space with The Omelette Parlor, which is a great breakfast or lunch spot. The building was turned into a supper club around the turn of the century by retired movie stars, and offers “Monster” glasses of Bass Ale for $4.75, or the ultra cheap $2 Monster of Busch.

The Dublin House

Kelly O’Brian’s

1850 Dominion Way

239 North Academy Blvd

to St. Patty’s Day than drinking. The hearty fare will help soak up the Irish Car Bombs and make the next morning more pleasant.

descent, have spent more than a little time on a bar stool and about as mellow as they come. Jameson makes me act like Tarzan; be careful.

Go home early

– Alongside New Year’s, St. Patrick’s Day is in the category of “Amateur Night.” Getting Shelalied by the cops sucks, so walk, have a DD or take a cab. Driving under the influence is not a sound decision.

Stay close to home –

St. Patrick’s Day calls for a visit to an O’bar of some kind. The establishments reviewed here are all of the Irish persuasion and spread out all over town, so you don‘t have far to get home. ◆

Photo by Brock Kilgore Back in the ‘90s I had the pleasure to cook here for a St. Patrick’s Day celebration, and it sucked. Considering the improvements to the building and today’s younger clientele, this year’s cooks will be “in the weeds” too.

Located next door to the Saint Patrick’s Roman Catholic Church, The Dublin House may be the theologically correct holiday location. When I asked what was happening on St. Patrick’s Day, the bartender said, “Just get here early!”

The Dublin House has decent bar food, lots of things to watch and play, and a friendly and efficient staff to offset the crowds.

Murphy’s Tavern 2729 North Nevada Ave

Photo by Brock Kilgore The slogan on Kelly O’Brian’s menu reads “I Love This Bar,“ and so do I. Happy hour includes two for one George Killian’s Irish Red pints and the delicious, but destructive, Kelly’s Crush shot. This is a locals’ bar with a strong happy hour working-class crowd that transforms into a hopping party on St. Patty’s Day, so be patient with the overly stressed bar staff and possibly resentful regulars. Be polite, respectful and tip well unless things are out of control. O’Brian’s offers Rocky Mountain Oysters for $7 (don‘t ask, just eat), Fish and Chips for $7.25, and NFL team sandwiches for $6.50, including The Raider (a Reuben). By far the best deal is the “The MVP” Steak and Fries with a 10 oz. NY Strip, “Basket O’Fries,” and a salad for $9.

Jack Quinn’s 21 South Tejon Ave

Photo by Brock Kilgore Murphy’s is everybody’s favorite dive bar. It is a drunken landmark to generations of college students in Colorado Springs. Only at Murphy’s can a pervert from the sex store next door, a couple of CC Hockey players and a retired Air Force Colonel sit next to each other, drink goblets of cheap beer and jam out to “Pour Some Sugar On Me.” Be careful, because the Irish-tongued barkeep, Ron, will try to get you to drink his signature shot, “Sex at Ron’s House.” St. Patty’s Day will be packed, but muscle up and grab a sub from Trivelli’s next door to “keep ya goin’.”

Photo by Carrie Woodruff The food and drink at Jack Quinn’s are both pretty good.

The problem, like the rest of the Tejon Street corporate crapholes, is that spending time there later in the evening is like participating in a hockey match. I grew up on the football field and in mosh pits, where aggressiveness belongs. What is fun about going to a place full of people who just got back from Iraq, are trained to fight and are looking for one?

During the day, without the threat of being shot, the beer cheese soup is fantastic. St. Patrick’s Day will be out of control, so my advice is stay away.

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news mini-feature

March 9 to March 15, 2010

7

WTF: Where’s the funding?

Colorado students rally for higher ed

UCCS Student Body President Daniel Garcia rallies the crowd.

Photo by Ariel Lattimore

Catherine Jensen cjensen@uccs.edu Continued from page 1 The rally focused heavily on Colorado Springs Senator John Morse’s recent drafting of the Higher Education Flexibility Bill. Though students gathered at the capitol were generally in favor of tuition flexibility, there was some concern over Section 4 of the bill, which would shift responsibility for tuition changes from the Department of Higher Education to the universities. “The bill removes the requirement that an institution that is an enterprise dedicate[s] a percentage of its revenues to need-based financial aid, if the institution increases tuition,” the bill states.

Bateman responded, “We support the concept of flexibility but do not support the legislature deferring tuition authority to the institutions. Affordable education is the responsibility of our elected representatives and control of tuition cannot be given away.”

Garcia, who attended meetings with senators prior to and during a portion of the rally, told The Scribe that proposed solutions included a four-year plan in which each campus would create individual estimates of how much was needed to support a sustainable and affordable campus and have it approved. If, after four years, a campus administration felt they needed to raise tuition, they would need to first ask the legislature. This plan, Garcia said, would not only allow each campus a measure of flexibility that meets its needs, but would alleviate the legislative pressure of making changes for all campuses at once.

A high tuition, high aid model has also been suggested. Currently the state of Colorado operates on a low tuition, low aid model. The lower the tuition, the less money is available to provide in aid. If tuition is high, those who can afford to pay for schooling will, and those from lower income homes will receive more in aid. The overall goal, according to Garcia, is to ensure that students don’t graduate with excessive debt.

Next steps discussed included, organizing a Government Relations Day for students in the CU system during which students would participate in a forum with their representatives and making sure to reach out to voters and inform the community, said Garcia. ◆

Representative Karen Middleton, next to ASC President Andrew Bateman, speaks to the crowd.

Photo by Carrie Woodruff

8

culture

March 9 to March 15, 2010

Not your toddlers’ or your grandparents’ puppet show

‘The Crazies’: Spine-tingling, powerless, kill-crazy Iowans

Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu ‘If your friends think you’re gay, but you have a girlfriend who lives in Canada,’ Avenue Q can help.

Courtesy of Avenue Q

Lauren Mueller lmueller@uccs.edu

“Avenue Q,” the hit Broadway musical performed with puppets, has stirred controversy in Colorado Springs as its creators prepare for the show’s debut March 16.

Hailed by The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly, the triple Tony Award winner of 2004 captures real adult situations with puppets in a smart and risque fashion that Springs advertisers believe to be too raunchy for residents’ eyes.

“Avenue Q” covers adult issues like sex and surfing the web for porn.

Lamar Advertising, which manages Colorado Springs’ billboards, thought proposed posters for “Avenue Q” were too vulgar for the notoriously conservative city’s taste. Lamar refused to hang bus stop posters

featuring a close-up of fuzzy pink puppet cleavage.

Lamar refuses only two or three proposals annually due to moral reasons, and Avenue Q fit the bill this year.

“It’s our billboard and we’re particular about what we display on our billboards, and we like to display what is acceptable to the community,” Hal Ward, Vice-President and General Manager of Lamar Advertising, told a local television station. “It is not within the moral standards of the community.”

“Avenue Q” tells the story of a young college grad who moves to New York City with big dreams of getting a decent job and a stable beginning at life.

With many UCCS students about to graduate, the story of a recent Princeton grad captures that awkward moment after graduation when everyone is looking for a “purpose” in life. When the main character moves to the only apartment he can

afford on “Avenue Q,” he meets other people just like him searching for a goodpaying job and stable relationships at the threshold of adulthood.

“Avenue Q” has been on Broadway for six years now, and covers real-life issues in a fun, no-holds-barred kind of way. Creators Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx based the story on their own real life experiences after college. The heavily audienceoriented musical is geared towards people like teens and adults (but definitely not children) who can enjoy the real-life approach to the puppet musical. ◆

avenue q Pikes Peak Center March 16, 17 Student Tickets: $15 Tickets: $32 to $55 Call (719)520-SHOW or pikespeakcenter.com

One of the spine-tingling central conceits of zombie/ pandemic-themed horror movies is the powerlessness of their victims. Through no fault of their own, a character can contract a debilitating virus, either through a zombie bite or unwilling exchange of DNA with the infected, thereby becoming a threat to his or her loved ones. In the terrifying moments before disease overwhelms their bodies, afflicted characters face a grim conundrum: Do they suffer silently and endanger their companions, or commit suicide before they can contaminate the others?

Almost every movie in this genre, from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” to “28 Days Later,” hinges on this primal fear of submission to pestilence, and it’s one of the many reasons these films are so perennially resonant.

Most recently, Overture Studios’ new horror remake “The Crazies” proved the enduring nightmare power of the grotesque disease subgenre by scaring up $16.1

MOVIE REVIEW: 3 OUT OF 5 STARS million in box office receipts ting for the craziness about on opening weekend. Draw- to ensue. David, the local ing both its name and prem- sheriff, discovers a crashed ise from the 1973 George military cargo plane downRomero cult classic, both river from the town’s drinkfilms closely mimic the tone ing supply. Townspeople and spookiness of the better seem like they’re losing entries in Romero’s “...of the their minds and erupt into Dead” series, which began senseless violence against in 1968 with “Night of the their neighbors, uncomfortLiving Dead,” only replacing ably mirroring the recent zombies with the diseased. explosion of fatal domestic While the original “The conflicts across the country.

Crazies” excels as a zeitgeist Something leaking from that of ‘70s anxiety, wild overact- plane into the water is making and lack of an interesting ing everyone, well, crazy. protagonist distances view- Then, in moves the military.

Eisner, whose only maers from the emotional urgency of the story, and will jor prior release was the likely only sustain the inter- 2005 bomb “Sahara,” proves est of Romero completists. quite capable here. Many The 2010 remix, happily, is sequences in “The Craengaging from its very first zies” are masterfully staged, wringing white-knuckled frame. suspense out of creative set pieces. The scene where our the Crazies heroes get trapped in a car wash with kill-crazy infected Rated ‘R’ Iowans is a fine example.

101 minutes Eisner also coaxes believHorror/ Sci-fi ability, which is an essential and overlooked component Starring of successful horror movTimothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell ies, out of the performances from the movie’s fine cast.

The closer a fright flick hews Breck Eisner, son of for- to universal fears and social mer Disney CEO Michael ills, the scarier it will seem.

“The Crazies” is well worth Eisner, streamlines central elements from Romero’s your movie-going dollar. template and manages the Despite an over-reliance on rare remake that honors the gimmicky “gotcha” scares, promise of its source ma- the film is an immersive terial. Timothy Olyphant and disturbing experience.

“The Crazies” and Rhada Mitchell anchor Though the story with their solid is unmistakably a Hollystar performances as David wood cash-in, it’s conducted and Judy Dutton, a young skillfully enough to engross couple who reside in Ogden even the most jaded horror Marsh, Iowa, an idyllic set- fan. ◆

the news is full of contradictions

satire : irony : hilarity

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.”

- Student Press Law Center

When keeping it real turns to a snow day

Students clash atop Mount Trashmore Avalon Manly [amanly@uccs.edu]

Stephen Farrell [sfarrell@uccs.edu] On Monday, Feb. 22, UCCS students were accidentally locked inside Columbine Hall after a snow day was called.

At around 9:50 in the morning, the doors had been locked by campus staff who, by mistake, had forgotten about ongoing classes on that morning. When The Scribe interviewed student Tim Sheffield, he gave the following account: “Class ended at 10:40 as usual, I had started towards Dwire Hall for my next class when I realized the doors were locked. Next thing I knew, there were about 100 to 200 other students stacked up behind me trying to figure out what the heck was going on.”

According to other accounts, electricity had also been shut off, causing the heat to turn off.

As hours and frustration accumulated, students had gathered paper towels and toilet paper from nearby restrooms and built small fires in the first floor atrium of the building. According to Sheffield, “This was done to keep warm; some students even started roasting food items, as staff had completely left the building and cell phones could not reach any office to speak of.”

After nine hours of being locked inside the building from all entrances, a campus security officer passing by noticed a large flame through the windows of the building with some students dancing around it.

According to one professor locked in with students, who wished to remain unnamed, “One of my students even managed to grow a beard in the process, like a full beard, I mean maybe it was there before but it sure did seem like we were in there for a while.” This hairy event, of course, was quickly swept under the rug by stunned campus officials after having found out about it, until now.

With the newest accounts of students and some faculty involved in this incident, we are proud to break this story as seen and told by those who lived through. ✪

Top Ten Veronica Graves

paradox the

Connotations of March Madness

10

Your excuse to pull out the Xbox basketball, the online basketball, and the TV basketball every day for a month.

9 8 7

The mountain of trash in the El Pomar Plaza became a point of contention among UCCS students last Friday when the passions of two distinct student groups clashed.

The UCCS Rocking Climbing Society was attempting to ascend the rancid peak’s northern face when they encountered a group of rogue VAPA students who were busy carving the larger-than-life likeness of Chancellor Anne Shmokley into Mount Trashmore.

Concerned for the safety of their project and the precarious stability of their medium, the VAPA students immediately began to fend the climbers away with their chisels, hammers and plans.

Equally frantic to complete their climb before the inclement winter winds increased, making the summit of Mount Trashmore impassable, the climbers tried to fight their way through the artisans’ project, chipping away with their gear from Schmokley’s face as they went.

The weather worsened as the battle waged on, neither force gaining ground, until a climber landed a lucky blow with his belaying line, snagging an artist who then lost his footing and careened down the side of the mountain.

The felled artist, Elliot Scourx, narrowly avoided death by landing in a patch of food that had rotted to the perfect degree of acrid softness necessary to break his fall.

“But,” said Scourx, “my work was destroyed, and I smell like ass. Was it worth it?”

The other sculptors retreated at the fall of their comrade, and the climbers, triumphant, raced to the summit. There, they planted the flag of their society, which looked suspiciously like a 3OH!3 concert banner.

At the base of Mount Trashmore, untouched by the climbers’ blissful celebrations above, was a student troupe of actors.

“We didn’t even have a chance to reenact the climax of ‘North by Northwest’ before those rock jocks took over Mount Trashmore,” said the captain of the troupe, Abraham Westfall. Pouting, he added, “I was gonna be Cary Grant.”

Mount Trashmore was removed shortly after the Climbing Society retired to the Pub to continue its celebration with a round of 3.2 beer.

The artists and actors alike mourned the loss of their medium; the lingering scents of garbage, water and rotted foods remain a bitter reminder of their artistic losses. ✪

6 5 4 3 2 1

Now is your excuse to get all emotional and blame it on your poor Irish luck.

Print off the schedule, carefully follow each game. Insist on attending each game with your significant other. Now is the time to see if he or she really loves you.

Relive your dream; wear your favorite team’s jersey to “play” basketball with the guys.

Use as an excuse to upgrade your TV package.

If you are a geek, now is the time to use algebra to make your predictions.

Sit back and enjoy, thankful that you are not a baseball fan.

Watch real basketball, so much better than the pros.

Great reason to gamble, even if you don’t care about the games.

Basketball, food, beer, Basketball, beer, food, Basketball, beer… vgraves@uccs.edu

10 opinion

March 9 to March 15, 2010

| Truth Bombs |Scott Brown makes a GOP FAIL-ibuster

Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu

Last Monday, a fantasy scenario for all the bipartisan-curious politicos of this fine land played out in the Senate.

This steamy, pansexual Republican-on-Democrat action swirled around a targeted jobs-creation bill; a draft so seductive that no less than five Republicans found its comely measures irresistible enough to break

away from their party and indulge in their primal legislative urges. Scott Brown (R-Mass.), Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe (R-Maine), Christopher Bond (R-Mo.), and George Voinovich (R-Ohio) were so overcome with passion on the Senate floor that they shamelessly flouted their bipartisan experimentation, breaking a threatened GOP filibuster in a sexy proposal that would extend Cobra health insurance for the unemployed, continue federal funding for highways and create a payroll tax credit for companies that hire the unemployed while renewing several stimulus provisions that were due to expire in the coming months.

Wow, not even spicing up this senatorial summary with prurient innuendo makes it seem exciting. De-

tailed examination of the inner-workings of our nation’s legislative gauntlet is a deadening prospect; witnessing besotted, pasty dullards with personas just amorphous enough to get elected stage flowcharted squabbles over ineffectual and ultimately compromised legislation is frustrating enough without the mind-numbing torpor of the lawmaking process.

So, even when something remarkable happens in the Senate, like cloture achieved

by Republican senators voting across party lines, it amounts to little more than making C-Span slightly less boring for a few days.

The idea of Republican filibuster has weighed heavily over the American legal process since Obama took office with the full throated support of a 60-seat Democratic supermajority in the

senate. The 60 Democratic Senators, media pundits breathlessly reported, created a filibuster-proof legislative powerhouse, which they could theoretically wield to influence an onslaught of progressive lawmaking, regardless of the minority party’s feelings on the matter.

The supermajority was going to leap tall buildings in a single bound; the Democrats, however, have failed to capitalize on this opportunity in any meaningful way, as intra-party dissent and illogical fear of Republican umbrage stymied tent pole Democratic policies like healthcare and finance reform. Then, Scott “I drive a truck” Brown was elected to Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat, and the supermajority ended before it had time to learn that with great power

comes great responsibility.

Predictably, the rogue Grand Old Partiers who voted for the bill have drawn the ire of the Republican establishment and conservative media voices alike.

Glenn Beck took to the airwaves following the vote, commiserating that the “... tea party members woke up this morning and probably threw up a just little bit in their mouths when they read the news,” before criticizing the newly elected Brown and the media hype that ensued following his victory. Brown had revitalized a wounded Republican party and sparked speculations about a 2012 presidential run, only to vote against his own party on the first major piece of legislation before him.

Nevertheless, this bill amounts to a muted victory

weighted with qualifications. You see, readers, this bill is almost more notable for what it won’t accomplish than what it will. A House version of the same bill would have shifted $27 billion in funds from the bank bailout to retain public employees like teachers and firefighters as well as redirect $35 billion of the same TARP monies toward infrastructure projects that would have potentially saved American jobs while generating much-needed new ones.

Democratic voters are probably expected to rejoice at last Monday’s dubious victory, but encouragement is of short supply in these economic times, and the ineptitude of our elected officials to resolve the matter at hand confounds our dread. ◆

advances, has stayed quite neutral on HB 1001, and natural gas has allied with renewable energy advocates against coal. Two natural gas trade associations, in fact, showed up the day of the bill’s recent committee vote to actually call for the shutdown of coal plants. The industry’s position is focus on clean energy seems inextricably tied with stifling the competition of coal.

The natural gas industry would love to get a bigger share of the electricity-production market at coal’s expense, and has no problem putting that sentiment out in the open. Its proponents

would love to see coal production artificially stifled – even in favor of the green sector – and made more expensive so that natural gas’ main competitor is made more weak. Such incentives are not hard to see, even for the average student.

What is hard to understand is how the public can hear such things and react passively. For industries to stealthily use government force to help themselves at the expense of their competitors is one thing. For them to do it so openly and not attract public outrage is another entirely.

After all, green energy is

not cheap, and neither will natural gas be if we allow the state to cut out its main competitor for electricity production. We may not care now, but when this and similar policies start affecting our way of life – increasing the cost of everything from the clothes we wear, to the food we eat, to the goods we buy, to the trucks on which these goods are delivered, the the tires on the trucks, to our basic utility bills – we might start thinking differently. We might start understanding that political fads like the green movement have a cost; a very real, very expensive cost. ◆

| The Lucid Line | Hippies, meet the Natural Gas Industry

Tim Canon tcanon@uccs.edu

Economist Bruce Yandle proposed in 1983 that most economic regulation can be explained with a simple anecdote called “Bootleggers and Baptists.” Many laugh his story off for its striking simplicity, but recent actions in Colorado’s legislature suggest that Mr. Yandle’s simple theory may have been quite accurate.

The Bootleggers and Baptists story uses a simple explanation of alcohol prohibition to provide a model (or way of viewing certain events) for dissecting and analyzing the causes of economic regulation in general.

The story goes like this: Two sets of people had an incentive to limit or restrict legal alcohol transactions, one for financial reasons and the other for moral reasons.

The bootleggers knew that if alcohol sales were banned, they could monopolize the sales of alcohol by illegally

smuggling the stuff. The Baptists believed alcohol consumption was morally wrong, so they wanted to ban it entirely.

The groups ended up, then, on the same page, both striving toward the same goal for very different reasons. Yandle’s insight was that this basic model of moral and financial incentives aligning towards the same policy goals could explain a great deal of economic legislation, from Marijuana restrictions to labor-union backed women’s and child labor laws.

It may even explain the recent squabbles over energy law in Colorado. State Senator Bruce Whitehead has been ramming through the General Assembly HB 1001, which would force the state’s biggest energy producers – Xcel Energy and Black Hills Energy – to obtain nearly a third of their power from “renewable” sources by 2020. That’s a 200% increase from 2007 and will drastically alter the way these companies do business and the profits they make.

The purported reason for this legislation is to “create jobs.” What it will actually do is destroy jobs in one sector – mainly coal – and merely replace them in less efficient and more wasteful “green” sectors, which

means it will likely result in a net loss of jobs.

As Diana Orf of the Colorado Mining Association said of mandates like this to use solar and wind power, “Why is it necessary to guarantee them a piece of the market? No one else is guaranteed a market share.”

You see, coal has the market right now because coal is, well, a good source of energy. Green sectors need government force to create a spot in the competitive market for energy because they deliver less bang for the buck.

Artificially transferring profits from one sector to another does not “create” anything: It forcefully moves money from one place to the other. But for some reason, any legislation with “jobs” in the title tugs at our heart strings. Add to this the largely moralistic, “green” feel of Whitehead’s law, and it’s easy to see who the Baptists are: People obsessed with jobs and environmental hippies.

So who are the bootleggers? In other words, who would benefit financially from this legislation? In this case, we need no great amount of digging to find the answer: Natural gas.

Interestingly enough, the oil and gas industry, who we would expect to be lining up against green industry

sports

March 9 to March 15, 2010

11

Mountain Lions come up short Women’s basketball: Season against Metro State in playoff ends with a hopeful glimpse loss Matt Crandall

mcrandal@uccs.edu

Matt Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu

The Mountain Lions headed into mid February with one goal in mind: Advance to postseason play. By winning four of their last six games, the men earned the No. 3 spot in the RMAC’s East Division with hopes of playing Colorado Mines.

Unfortunately, UCCS was matched against powerhouse Metro State.

Despite accomplishing the goal of a playoff berth, UCCS lost 62-85 to the Roadrunners of Metro State on March 2.

Senior Cole Smith put on an impressive performance with a team high 21 points and nine rebounds in his final game as a Mountain Lion. Juniors Ben Feilmeier and Rob Howe followed with seven points and six points, respectively.

UCCS shot 47.1 percent from the field while maintaining the defensive pres-

Cole Smith lines up for a free throw in his final game.

Courtesy of UCCS Sports Information sure from Metro State reasonably well. The Achilles’ heel for the Mountain Lions was the 20 turnovers and shooting only 8-21 from the foul line.

Metro State managed to shoot 55 percent from fieldgoal range, their highest since Jan. 19, and hit a season-high nine 3-point field goals. UCCS did manage to outrebound Metro State 34-

32 but the game fell out of reach midway through the second half.

Head Coach Russ Caton commented after the game to www.gomountainlions. com with mixed feelings, saying, “I think we’ve proven ourselves to be a playoff-caliber program. Now it’s time to set the standards a little bit higher and not settle for getting there.” ◆

Despite finishing 2-17 in the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference, the lady Mountain Lion’s basketball season ended Feb. 26 with glimpses of hope and possibility for the future.

The highlight of the year may have been the team’s exciting, high scoring victory against Nebraska-Kearney 101-93 on Feb. 12, in which the women came within one point of breaking the school’s scoring record of 102 set in 1994.

“The win over NebraskaKearney was great for the players and showed what some of them are capable of. We have shown glimpses this season of a positive future,” said Athletic Director and Head Coach Stephen Kirkham.

The constant factor that plagued the women throughout the majority of the season was consistency.

UCCS rarely managed to

play a competitive 40 minute game and, unfortunately, success came sporadically.

Thus was the case Feb. 26 when UCCS took on the Roadrunners of Metro State at the Gallogly Events Center in their final game of the season. The lady Mountain Lions surged back and fourth throughout, bringing the game to 41-40 with just nine minutes left to play.

The game fell out of reach after the women missed eight straight field-goals, resulting in a season-low 27.3 field-goal percentage and a 47-59 loss.

“With some more size and speed, we will compete at a much higher level [next year]. The players in the program that will return also

need to commit to being better players next season,” added Kirkham. “Some old sayings always ring true: Players are made from March to October, [while] teams are made from October to March.”

Once the final buzzer sounded on the 2009-10 season, two players from UCCS not only completed their collegiate careers but will always remain a part of basketball history for UCCS. Senior Janean Jubic will leave UCCS as No. 3 on the all-time list in assists and No. 4 in 3-pointers made.

Following her will be senior Lauren Holm, who ranks No. 3 all-time in free-throw percentage. ◆

Janean Jubic Lauren Holm Courtesy of UCCS Sports Information

Men’s 4x400 and High Jump: RMAC champs Rob Versaw rversaw@uccs.edu

The men’s 4x400-meter relay team took the RMAC title Feb. 27 in Golden, CO, earning UCCS Track and Field’s first conference title for a relay team, while high jumper Steven Gomez’s conference-best jump earned him a trip to the National Championships Mar. 12-13.

Setting a new UCCS school record, and winning a conference title in the process, Steven Gomez high jumped 2.14 meters. “It was really cool, everyone in the building was cheering for him,” Senior Alicia DelPardo recounted.

Another highlight of the meet for the Mountain Lions came in the final event of the day, the Men’s 4x400m relay.

Going into the race seeded second, every member of the team had run disappoint-

ing races earlier in the day.

“We wanted to avenge our poor performances,” junior Jason Shaver said. Leading off, senior Alex Vasquez put UCCS in the lead, passing off to freshman Jon Christian. “After that there was no turning back. All of us ran up to our potentials,” explained Christian.

Crossing the tape at 3:25.8, junior Chris Reynolds finished the last leg of the race for the victory. “Winning the 4x400 is huge for our school, it’s never happened, so it’s great to be a part of that record,” Reynolds explained. “It was again especially important because of the loss of our teammate David [Mueller].”

The victory was significant to the relay runners not just for the win. “This victory was extremely emotional for us, there were a lot of tears shed and a lot of excitement that came from this. It was especially important to Jason, Alex and I because we

were so close with David,” recalled Reynolds.

Shaver explained how Mueller helped them prepare. “He would have loved to have been in that race and in a way he was, he was in it with us. He has helped us over the past few weeks finding our identity, and I really believe in that.”

Freshman Lauren Graham also made first team all conference by tying for the title in the pole vault; she placed second after a tiebreaker, but was still pleased with the result. “Pradal really motivated me to jump my best, though, because she was good competition,” she said, in reference to Annelise Pradal of Adams State, who won the women’s Pole Vault competition.

UCCS placed 6th and 9th, respectively, for the men’s and women’s overall team competitions, and will now begin preparing for the outdoor track season’s first meet at CU-Boulder March 20. ◆

Steven Gomez clears the high bar.

Courtesy of UCCS Sports Information